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#math deserves to die
padawansuggest · 3 months
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Anakin does advanced theoretical calculus when he’s sad. Like straight up sobbing to normal while doing math that could turn someone’s brain inside out because it makes him feel good and happy.
But Obi-Wan???? He’s a little fucking freak he does poetry when sad. What a fucking weird child someone check on his dumbfuck mental health wtf is wrong with him.
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fuwafuwashi · 3 months
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I just think I just think I just think that in the beginning she wanted to be a part of something larger than herself so badly, she wanted to conform in the matrix of the larger Us and even through all that she was still so human she couldn’t help but listen to the ghost in her head and realized he was human too. in the end she again gave up who she was for the hope of something greater
she was such a good Kel but god she was a better Person
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savrenim · 8 months
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you: the Banach–Tarski paradox me, an intellectual: tumblr infinite chocolate hack
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josie-cd · 1 year
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I love you Four Murasame, I love you Elpeo Ple, Ple-Two, and Ple-Twelve, Marida Cruz, my most dearly beloved. I love you Rita Bernal and Elan Ceres E.P no. 4. I love you Soma Peries/Marie Parfacy and Allelujah/Hallelujah Haptism. I love all you poor souls, forced to become into living weapons but being some of the most human characters in their series. 
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acidbathcat · 5 months
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girl what is this about patriarchal religion right after you decide to join a synagogue
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syrinq · 6 months
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once again i remain surprised by the abundant black/white thinking, turning blind eyes to the dead, dismissing whole ass massacres as some 'you reap what you sow' bullshit, stereotyping entire populations as x or y & the ''need'' to pick a ''good guy side'' like this is all some stupid marvel comic book
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buchinyansolos · 1 year
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After homework is done I’m going to on a plsyhtroigh of either yokai watch or fallout new Vegas to calm down and fall asleep too
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kuromiiyuuu · 2 months
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"Forgive me." part ii, jjk men.
-in which you make up after a fight. part i.
toji, satoru, and nanami. (f)
genre, warnings. fluff, just pure fluff this time | none! |
notes i. so many of you requested for part two since the first one was just pure angst, so here it is, also wish me luck on my exams!
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Toji. Rain is like a gentle symphony of tiny, rhythmic drumbeats. Each droplet dances and caresses the world, creating a soothing melody as it kisses the ground. The air carries a fresh, earthy scent, and the sound of raindrops provides a tranquil experience, turning the surroundings into a serene, tactile sensation.
You got out of the car where tension started to build up, not caring about the rain and how you were drenched from head to toe when you got inside your home. it was fine, you can manage being a little soaked. you closed the front door behind you with slight force, your face muscles weren't relaxing, you were still upset.
how could you just forget about the things he said? it hurted you. and you didn't even hear a single sorry from him.
you scoffed at the thought, taking your soaked coat before hanging it on the hanger.
your heels clicking against the floor as you make your way to the kitchen. giving little attention to the drop of temperature in the room. grabbing yourself a glass of water and drinking it.
"you should go shower." that deep voide of his that makes you feel like you're drowning everytime, made you gulp the liquid in your mouth hard.
"leave me alone." you bite at him, placing the glass of water on the counter with a little force indicating you were still angry, "jerk." you mumbled.
about to pass your boyfriend to head to your bedroom, you were stopped by his arm gripping on your upper arm. you looked at him with a slight widened eyes, "let go of me."
"no." toji simply refuses, you clicked your tongue followed with a glare towards him.
there was a pause, you were waiting for him to say the words. to say he didn't mean anything he said back there. but it never came, the only thing that came was his lips pressing against yours.
you instantly pushed him away by pressing your hands against his chest, "get off me."
"y/n." his voice, it was soft. not the usual sacrastic and smug tone he always has. for once it was serious and soft, it was almost as if you can feel his voice, it was gentle, "I'm sorry."
whenever fighting with toji, it's a heck of a fight for sure. he was never the guy to admit he's wrong or say sorry first, so right now... it was a first, this was the first time he ever crossed the line by yelling at you in public but also, this was the first where he apologized first.
your lips met in a tender dance, a convergence of shared emotions. Time seemed to pause, allowing the delicate exchange of feelings to unfold. The kiss held a symphony of sensations – a mixture of softness, warmth, and the subtle electricity of connection. In that fleeting moment, the world around them blurred, leaving only the intimate exchange of a promise, a whisper of shared passion that lingered in the air.
toji backed away slightly before looking right into your eyes, there was a pause before you spoke, "for once you lost a fight."
"well... it's better than losing you."
Satoru. he was never the man you can ever think of being faithful to one woman. before you he was a lost playboy, everyone knew that old habits never die and that's exactly the situation of your boyfriend.
you have been beating up yourself by tolerating such a man like himself. now it was the after math of the fight, both of you standing in front of each other with mere inches seperating you both from touching each other. his eyes held great longing in them and mostly guilt to whatever he has caused you.
he knew you didn't deserve it, he was a fucking waste of time and you... you needed something better, "I'm sorry, baby."
who was he kidding? he was gojo satoru, if you deserved someone better then, he'll be better.
"I know I fucked up, but stay with me until I completely fix myself." He says, this was never the things old satoru would say, he only thinks for his self, he didn't care if one judged his being, he didn't care what others simply think, he was his own person but now, he want nothing than to fix your thoughts of him after seeing how hurt you were because of him.
you loved him and it was the rare kind of love. you accepted the boy in all kinds of way, in his different kind of shapes.
"until when, satoru?"
he paused, he sees your eyes building up with tears again and he feels his knees getting weak because of them, "until our last breath."
your eyes widened, a tear leaving the premises of your eyelids without permission just like that.
"stay with me, let's find all the answers to all of our hows."
that single sentence took your breath away and before you knew it, his hand goes up to your cheeks before holding both sides gently. your heart completely surrenders in his sorrow.
As the evening unfolded its quiet embrace, you found solace in a shared intimacy. your foreheads gently leaned against each other, creating a bridge between two worlds. In that simple touch, a fusion of tenderness and understanding emerged, an unspoken language of affection. Time seemed to stand still as you both reveled in the quiet connection, finding comfort in the shared warmth that emanated from the closeness of your foreheads touching, creating a moment suspended in the gentle cadence of their love.
Nanami. the blonde man watches your back facing him as you sat on your side of the bed, he takes off his tie before placing it on his bed side table, his eyes not taking off of your figure.
his heart constantly breaking at this sight of you, you were right there, yet you felt so far away. he sighs, he messed up, he literally messed up badly.
he can see the way your shoulders move, the usual movement of the shoulders whenever someone is sobbing. he can hear the quiet sniffles of your nose you wanted so bad to keep quiet but he still can hear it. he can't forgive himself, not when he made you like this.
"my love?" he calls out softly, his voice sweet and gentle. showing no signs of hurting you.
you don't reply to him, instead, he gets a sob in reply. you couldn't hold it in, you were hurting and keeping quiet was just too hard. not when you're balling your eyes out without making a sound, it was something to be applaud of.
"I'm deeply sorry for our fight earlier, I crossed the line." he explains, his eyes still on your figure no matter what, "I'm willing to fix it with you again, I know we always do."
your figure sits up from the bed, your legs hanging from the side of the bed with your back still facing him and still crying, "you pained me, nanami."
he swore he heard his heart completely shattering, and before you knew it. he was already crouching in front of you.
Under the weight of your words, his eyes, once sharp and guarded, softened. The hardness that had lingered in his gaze melted away, replaced by a vulnerability that mirrored the tenderness in his heart.
it was as if a curtain had been drawn back, revealing the depth of his emotions, and in that moment, his softened eyes spoke volumes, conveying a silent understanding and a willingness to open up to the connection you both shared.
"I'm sorry, it hurts me to know that you're hurting because of me." he says in a gentler way, afraid he might hurt you again.
"You're a big meany." you say, wiping your tears away along with a hit on his buff chest, trying to make yourself feel better.
he laughs softly, grabbing your small hands in his large ones before placing it right on his cheeks enjoying the warmth coming from your own skin, the way your skin felt so soft against his, it felt so right.
"I deserve the most painful punishment in this world." he says, your puffy eyes finally looks back at his, "because I pained you. remember my love, it is you I can not sacrifice."
words in the fight he didn't mean, but right now, as both of you connect to the passion you both had. he meant those words more than anything in the world, and that is what you should be taking in.
as your arms entwined, it felt like a seamless fusion of warmth and connection. The embrace was a silent language, conveying emotions that words struggled to capture. In that moment, the world outside faded, leaving only the comforting embrace of shared vulnerability.
The gentle squeeze held promises of understanding, solace, and an unspoken promise to weather life's storms together. It was a sanctuary in a single gesture, where two souls found solace in the simple act of holding each other close.
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renmorris · 3 months
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sorry, time for another jeanplaint (complaint about Fanon-Jean)
there’s this idea that gets passed around a lot that Harry was making Jean do all of his work for him, to the extent that I’ve seen people actually attribute Harry’s low kill count (during his 18 year career) to him essentially making Jean shoot people to protect him (during their 3 year at most partnership)
I don’t have to reiterate the math to point out why that’s stupid and I can get on to my next point
Jean is the one who paints Harry as lazy, as someone who isn’t trying hard enough. but you see, the thing about the medium of video games is that we have access to both Harry’s perspective and his entire ledger that is full to the brim of dense work and note taking. we know that Harry is a workaholic who self medicates to maintain a ridiculous caseload. we are in fact given a pretty solid timeline of Harry’s recent decline and over the past three months. Harry was not slacking off, he was working himself into the grave
and even if he was slacking off he doesn’t deserve to be left to die, I’m just pointing out how canon gets twisted and discarded to support fanfic tropes
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Even when Nana was wrong for having a family and a son when she knew AFO would target them in the future, my heart aches for her.
She must have been so alone...
Before her, all the other vestiges had no family. No really. Being an OFA user means you must give every bit of you to defeat AFO. You live for it, you die for it, on your own. I wonder how was the man Nana fell in love for... Was he kind to her? Did he make her laugh? Made her forget her burdens?
Did she try to push him away? Maybe he insisted on being with her... Maybe he loved her and she couldn't help but love him back... Maybe they were friends. Maybe they didn't plan to have a son but it happened anyway and it went downhill from there on...
I wonder if adult Kotaro looks a bit like him. She was not "mom material". She tried anyway. She did her best. Until she realized that her best would not be enough.
I did the maths. Nana gave Kotaro in adoption some time before she found Toshinori. What if it happened the same year? She told Toshinori that all her family was dead. Imagine the pain she felt when she said it. She couldn't be a mother or a lover while AFO was alive. She could not have a family. She couldn't even kill AFO and now so so many years after, she's crying because she died and couldn't go back to her son.
Kotaro didn't even know how she died.
Imagine the pain of listening to your grandkids claiming happily that they want to be heroes like you! Your son kept the picture of you two! He did not forget you! He thought of you!
Then you open a door and watch Kotaro hit your grandson, claiming you were a demon that hurt her own family to save others. He carried that pic like a curse. He passed down the wound you left him to his son. They all died and the boy? He grew up to become one of the biggest villains alive. He fell into AFO's hands. Everything you fought to prevent, it happened because you weren't strong enough to kill AFO.
Nana didn't make the right decisions, but c'mon. She didn't deserve any of it. She's responsible for what happened to Kotaro, she's not a good mom, she has many flaws, she allowed Toshinori to stay with her after abandoning Kotaro, she made many many mistakes. Yes to all of that.
Yet, she was only human. She had only one friend. She lost her lover, her child, then had to watch her legacy destroy itself.
AFO made hell on Earth for Nana even after she was dead. Just because she accepted to fight in secret the greatest evil alive, it doesn't mean that she deserved to suffer so much and to be treated with so much cruelty. She tried to save them all, but she failed.
Now she dies a second time after realizing that she was the villain of her son's story.
Does anyone want to go like that?
Does a hero dream of dying a demon?
Does a mother hope of being hated by her child?
Is it such a sin to be human and make mistakes, when you're supposed to be an all mighty god?
Wasn't she a victim of AFO too?
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heartrender6 · 11 months
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most of the kuwei hate in this fandom is absolutely racially motivated and most of it is probably subconscious but i NEED to talk about this.
and not because i think people r thinking "i hate kuwei!! he's asian and i hate asians!!" tbh most anti asian racism on the internet goes way deeper than that.
basically, what i believe to be the most prominent type of racism against asians, especially on the internet, is stereotyping. specifically "uwu-ification." the east asian entertainment industry likes to paint asian people as cute, submissive and sweet because it markets disturbingly well to american audiences, and whether people mean to or not, they internalize it and it affects the way they think of asian people as a whole. This mostly happens to east and southeast asian women, but definitely a lot with men too, especially in more recent years with the whole yaoi culture thing (i fucking hated typing that) becoming more popular. simply put, it's fetishization.
so how does this relate to kuwei? well, when kuwei is introduced to us, and im not gonna dance around it— he is pretty stereotypically asian. he's shy, innocent, small, good at math/science and— you guessed it— no speaka engrish. leigh bardugo lays the perfect trap for fandom white girl weeaboos to gush over this guy. once i came across a modern au where kuwei's whole northern chinese-mongolian ass is a "shy japanese transfer student." i really wish i was making this up.
but then we find out that kuwei is actually a conniving little shit who is really quite terrible at science and spends all day making shitty drawings of his crush instead of doing math or wtv. The turning point where we are told this is the jesper kiss. This is the point where we find out kuwei is not the yaoi uwu baby we thought he was. and how does fuckin 2/3 of the fandom react?? hate. instant hate. If you search "i hate kuwei" on twitter there are tweets both defending and attacking him, but there is significantly more of the latter.
most of them claim to hate him for kissing jesper but like... jesper kissed him. He doesn't say anything because, in his own words, "we're all probably going to die anyway." does no one see how tragic that is?? he let his first (probably) kiss be taken by someone who he knew didn't even like him because he thought it would be the only one he'd ever get.
and yet the only thing people see is that he "got in the way" of wesper and he's evil. throughout the series kuwei is given no agency, and that's the point of his character. everyone on the planet treats him as a weapon or a bargaining chip. he gets tossed around like a rag doll and to white (or otherwise not asian) audiences, that makes him the perfect picture of a little asian cutie i almost vomited typing that holy shit. but the moments where he takes something for himself— insisting on going to ravka, kissing jesper back— that's what makes people hate him. and don't even get me started on the way people project their hatred onto the other crows, especially wylan. yall will act like wylan loathes kuwei with all his being. he doesn't!! wylan is not a hateful person and he always defends kuwei!! but nooo, kuwei sucks and he deserves it for daring to be a person instead of an idea.
and hey?? guess what?? kuwei was NEVER in the way of wesper. there was no love triangle. narratively speaking, there was never any threat that kuwei would end up with jesper instead of wylan. never ever. the kiss was literally only put there to create drama for wylan and jesper. we never even hear how kuwei feels about it. stop using that as an excuse to hate on kuwei when we can all see it's because you're subconsciously mad at an asian person not being nice.
also disliking kuwei does not automatically make you racist, im just saying a lot of hatred towards kuwei is rooted in racism.
tagging my fellow aapi moots (that i know of) because i wanna hear yalls thoughts on this! @hauntedacousticversiontv @dramaqueentruther
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raincoffeeandfandoms · 8 months
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No (yes) – Tommy Shelby & Ruby.
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Summary: "No", said Tommy when Ruby appeared in front of him holding two kittens. Ruby looked at his father with determination, "yes". In this duel between Shelbys, only one is the winner.
Warnings: Absolutely none. I wrote this because father and daughter deserved more time together.
Words: 800.
-> Spam-likers will be block. All of them, including YOU. <-
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Tommy was in his study, it had been a long and troubled day as usual. But at least he was at home with his family.
Outside it was a nice day, atypical for an autumn day on that side of the world. The sun shone and was a warm day considering the time of year.
Frances knocked on his office door past noon, carrying a tray of food she knew the owner of Arrow House would not eat, but which his wife insisted he prepare.
"Mrs. Shelby sent this for you, Mr. Shelby," the woman said when he let her in.
Tommy looked at the food. He knew it was your idea and that you wouldn't stop until he was fed more than cigarettes and whiskey. "Many thanks, Frances," he said. "Tell Mrs. Shelby I appreciate her concern for lunch. For certain, Frances, and my children?
"Little Charlie is with Mrs. Shelby, she's helping him with geography and your girl, she's with the horses. One maid is with her".
Tommy nodded. His family was well and that was a problem less for him. That was a peace that he was not accustomed to.
And of course, that peace didn't last long.
Ruby entered his office without knocking. Whatever her father was doing wasn't so urgent. What she was doing was important.
"Dad!"
The way the door opened, startled Tommy who was doing the math. His daughter's voice and the tone she used made him stand up immediately, not aware of what he was doing.
"Ruby, what...?"
But before the little girl could answer him, Ruby opened her coat and two different meows reached Tommy's ears. The girl propped two very small kittens on her father's desk. Both wobbling, they began to move among the man's papers.
"Ruby, what is this?"
"Kittens," the girl replied. It was obvious, why her father asked that? "they were near the stable. Hilda said their mother might be near, but we waited a lot and the mother didn't turn up."
"Well, you should listen to your maid. She's older and wiser than you and the kittens are sure waiting for their mother and she for them."
"There is no mum. I know. They're on their own and they're too little."
Tommy sighed. One of the kittens almost knocked over his inkwell and he put it on the floor. Ruby frowned, before her father could do the same to the other one, she scooped it up in her arms.
"They are babies!"
"Babies causing mayhem. Ruby, I know what you're thinking and the answer is no."
"We can't leave them outside! They could die and I don't want them to. I want them to be here, I'm going to take care of them."
"Ruby, I said no."
"Yes!"
"No. I'm in too much trouble to take care of two kittens, too."
"Uncle Arthur's got dozens of chickens and it's all right. And Uncle Alfie's got Cyril, why can't I have two kittens?"
"What the... since when is Uncle Alfie?"
"He told me to call him that."
Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose. Fucking Alfie Solomons.
"Okay. They're adults and they can decide what to do with their lives, you're a child and I'm the one who decides here."
Ruby wasn't about to give up. She had found those orphaned kittens and she wasn't going to let their father separate them. Besides, they were cute. Surely Charlie was going to want one of them.
"Then I'm going to sleep outside with them."
"No, of course not!" Tommy sighed, since when the little girl was so stubborn? Because Ruby at that moment was willing to get what she wanted, no matter what.
"I'll do it! I'll go with the horses and take the kittens with me."
"In the cold? And maybe rain in the middle of the night?"
"If necessary..."
What would Polly do in such a situation? Thomas wondered. She'd probably take the girl's side. Yeah, just to bother him.
Tommy looked at Ruby. She was a Shelby from head to toe. She was like him, but sweeter and without the ghosts that haunted him, but just as determined to get what she wanted.
The kitten Tommy had left on the ground was now climbing up his leg, digging its small but sharp claws into his skin. Tommy let out a whimper before taking the animal off his back and handing it to his daughter.
"I don't want them in my office. Or in my bedroom."
"And the rest of the house?" The girl's eyes widened and a smile appeared on her face.
"As long as you look after them and not Mum or Frances. Charlie can help if he wants to."
Ruby shouted a cheerful "yes" with a beaming smile and went in search of her brother.
Tommy shook his head, before sitting back down at his desk.
In two days, one of the kittens would be playing on top of his bed and the other sleeping on his lap, while he worked, but of course, Thomas 'I don't want cats' Shelby didn't know that yet.
------
UNCLE ALFIE
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neptune-scythe · 2 months
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Do you ever think about how Kaz making sure Inej is reunited with her brother is so he doesn't have to deal with his own grief?
Hear me out
Obviously he cares about Inej and wants her to have her family back and that's his main focus, or at least his main focus consciously
But here's the thing
They're mirrors of each other. Two people who lost brothers, Kaz's is gone forever ... But inej's is still out there (probably). Now we all know Kaz has never dealt with his grief, and probably barely even acknowledges it, mostly because he doesn't know how. That's not something people just ... Know how to do, grief is a process and if you don't have a single other person to help you or even be the slightest bit supportive it's going to be nearly impossible to grieve in a healthy way. Let alone being in a constant state of survival mode having to watch your back all the time because you're a kid in a very dangerous place and pretty much ever single person is an enemy, or at least not someone trustworthy or helpful. But I hella digress my bad
My point is Kaz hasn't dealt with the loss of his brother (why have I not used his name once? Bitch idfk my bad Jordie you deserve better bestie), which was a meaningless death. And by that I mean Jordie didn't sacrifice himself for some cause, he wasn't a casualty of a greater issue ... He just died. Because that what people do.
And especially for a kid who's all alone with not a single soul left on the earth who gives a damn about him, that's a pretty tricky concept to grasp. That your whole world, the most imporant person in your life could just die ... Just be completely gone in a moment. Thus why Kaz immediately blames Pekka and devotes his life to revenge, even though Pekka was only indirectly involved in Jodie's death. But blaming Pekka gives his death a meaning, it means there's something he can do to make it mean something.
Once again super digressed from my main point whoopsieeee. Hope y'all are enjoying the wild ride of my thoughts rn (I'm literally just stream of consciousness writing this shit, and for shits and giggles imma leave it that way no edits this is a first draft post you're welcome)
N E WAY
Jodie's death WAIT A SECOND HOW MANY TIMES HAS IT AUTOCORRECTED TO JODIE 💀
I'll never know because I'm not rereading this shit
Anyway
JORDIE's death meant nothing, and Kaz's revenge on Pekka didn't give it meaning either ... Which he probably knew deep down that it wouldn't. But those are the kinds of thoughts we ✨silence✨ because we need the rage for vengeance to keep us alive and doing things.
Now back to Inej and Harij.
Reuniting them will for Kaz make his own situation mean something (in my opinion don't at me these my head canon thoughts). That even though he can't bring his own brother back, he can bring back hers. And knowing that they're together will make his own grief a little easier to bear. It balances it out, if you will.
Two brothers lost, one brother found. Good math
OK BUT ALSO HAVE YOU CONSIDERED
Harij is Inej's younger brother
So consider Kaz is doing it as much for him as for Inej. He's making sure another little boy (he's obviously not a little boy anymore but like ... He was 12 ((idk how old he'd be know)) and that's plenty young) doesn't have to lose his older sibling forever.
And also consider
Kaz knows he doesn't deserve Inej, he knows he most likely won't always have her ... And more importantly she won't always have him.
He won't always be able to protect her, to keep her safe. But her brother could. Her brother could be there for her and her support her and even do a far better job (probs idk what bros personality is like but I bet Kaz Brekker is assuming shit too) than Kaz could. So by reuniting her with her brother he's making sure she's taken care of, that even if he lets her down, she'll never be alone.
Because real talk her
Y'all are allowed to have your head canons and shit I am NOT gatekeeping
But canonically Kaz Brekker is not the jealous or possessive type. If Inej wanted to leave him for someone else he'd be upset yeah but he's knows full well Inej is a living Saint and worth far more than he could ever deserve in a billion lifetimes, and he's also far more concerned with her happiness and well-being than what she can provide for him.
So he'd be satisfied being away from her, not knowing a single thing about her life, as long as he knows her brother is there with her.
He doesn't need to take care of her, he just needs to know that she is taken care of.
I rest my case
Send tweet
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk 🫡
(addition because I did actually reread it and damn I somehow forgot my entire point???
So yeah
About him using reuniting Harij and Inej as a way to avoid dealing with his grief.
It's like this
Brother dies
Kaz goes straight to revenge, never actually processes any of it, just jumps straight into making Pekka pay for it ... Which tbh is dealing with it in a sense but it's in a very passive way of going straight to doing without ever processing ... If that makes sense.
And that's repaying violence with violence, which leads to more violence. It's a cycle of destruction that Kaz is playing into, which is very hard to get out of once it starts.
But reuniting Harij and Inej is a break in that cycle. It's Kaz using his own pain as motivation and incentive to do something that will heal others. And making sure that neither Inej nor Harij get caught in the same cycle as Kaz did, it's using his own knowledge of that cycle to protect others from it. And more specifically, he doesn't know how to heal himself, he doesn't know how to move on or process and grieve, he doesn't know how to leave the cycle ... So he's helping Inej and Harij heal from their pain instead, and making sure they never enter the cycle.
Because he probably is well aware that revenge isn't the healthiest way to channel grief (but bro doesn't care because Pekka needs to be put in his place and we stan him for that), but channeling it into helping someone he loves is healthy.
And real talk here
Kaz probably believes he will never move on or heal from Jordie's death. Thus him being trapped in the ouroboros of suffering ... And go with me here.
If we view the ouroboros (snake eating its own tail if y'all don't know) as a literal scenario Kaz is trapped in, it's a mental prison basically, and one he has accepted that he will never leave. His fate is sealed, and he can't do anything to save himself from that.
BUT even if he can't ever break out of the ouroboros, he can keep others out, he can't save himself but he can save others from being trapped there as well.
And because of this he won't have to deal with the fact that he's trapped, he can focus all his energy on keeping others out ... And it gives it meaning. That even though he's trapped forever and can't do anything for himself, he can do something for other people because of it. Because the only way to avoid the ouroboros is if someone inside warns you.
That was a wild metaphor I hope that made sense lol
Also once again these are my head canons and I wrote it from Kaz's perspective so to speak, so when I say things like He cAn NEVer HeAl that's because that's what he thinks (imo) not what is objectively true. Healing is absolutely possible and bro can get it he just doesn't know it yet.)
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not-eli · 4 months
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Some peeps asked for Heather character analysis and that's literally what I live for so let's go
pay attention this is long.
Heather is portrayed since the very beginning like the perfect example of the word brat. Her literal first line is, "I'm calling my parents, you can't force me to stay here!"
Even though this could hint that she has a very close relationship with her parents, at the same time in the extra clips for the parents from home we understand that her parents aren't really so caring for her, since they were celebrating at the thought of her leaving.
Even if this can seem controversial, there's a perfect explaination for this kind of behaviour:
As an example, my cousin is a goddamn brat (so glad my family doesn't know about my blog), always whining and asking for my aunt's phone, even cussing in front of his parents, and he's about 5. The thing is, due the desire of not hearing him protest my uncles tried to please him in everything, giving him what he asked so he would stop crying.
i think that Heather's parents kind of did the same: They complied with her every request so as not to hear her complain, not because they cared about her but because they wanted her to keep quiet. Heather of course got used to this and that's literally all she knows. She knew that if she conplained, she would get what she wanted.
We also know that her parents used elettro shock therapy on her in order to "make her nicer" which also hints that they didn't have a goddamn clue of what to do with her.
Furthermore, in tda when she thought she was about to die she wrote her will where she left most of her possessions to her mother. Plus, when Chris offered the team a chance to talk to the person they were closest with, who was the person suggested to Heather? That's right, the mother.
When she "opens up" a little to Harold she asks, "do you think it's good to be hated by everyone?"
I think that her bratty behaviour, maybe even in order to gain a little of attention from her parents, led people to stay away from her and to cope she became even worse, trying to convince herself that it wasn't her, it was them.
In an extra clip (cannot find it) we learn from her younger brother that she was used to be seen as "unattractive" when she was younger, which adds to the whole "no one likes me but who cares" thing.
I have the feeling that she closed herself off for so long to avoid being seen as weak, someone who can't provide for herself. We know that her number one objective is winning and only winning, she wants the money and for what? To start a life of her own, show the world that she's Heather and she's so worth it.
However, we sometimes caugh some moments of weakness: When she broke down while teaming up with Harold, when she looked upset when Lindsay and Beth stayed away from her (who, to remember, were the only friends she made on the show), when she comforted Courtney after the whole cheating thing and lord, even when Sierra the creepy crazy girl got hurt she showed to care for her. Also, did you see how happy she looked when Cody called her "the good guy"? (well not exactly but you get my point) or when she won?
And when she fell for Alejandro, she probably thought that was stupid - why falling for a boy that will just slow you down, break your heart?
Heather is hated by everyone, it's true. But deep inside she's just a girl that never understood how the world really worked. She never got how she had to actually behave in order to be liked. When she and Alejandro had that lovey dovey honeymoon phase she genuinely looked so happy because he was treating her like a literal queen. In my opinion, she finally felt respected and that was enough for her. Until Chris mentioned the money that is.
She deserves to win again :(
@math-is-math
@cass-hector-simp
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i-cant-sing · 5 months
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We'd really appreciate it if you talked about what's happening in Palestine rn 🙏
You are so right, I've just not been able to find the right words.
I feel like anytime anyone brings up Palestine, everyone makes it a thing about religion when it's not. It's about the fucking humanity and like if you do some search and do the fucking math, yall would understand that Israel is committing a fucking genocide, and like doing ethnic cleansing like its nothing????
I mean I'm not even going to talk about the rest of the world, because of course every country has to prioritise its political interests over innocent lives, but like does EVERYONE IN ISRAEL actually think that what they're doing is a totally right? Do yall think that "Muslims" deserve to die, the children- actual newborn babies deserve to die in bombings because they're "Arab" or "encroaching on Jewish land" or whatever fucking reason you can conjure up to thunk that it's okay to murder babies.
And if anyone is like "ohhh but we're just returning the fire. The Palestinians/Hamas attacked us first-" NO CAUSE HOW STUPID DO YOU SOUND??? Look at your fucking army, your resources and you think that somehow the Palestinians are the oppressor??
Also if anyone of you is like "nahhh, idc about Palestine" please unfollow me and LEAVE. Because if you even choose to stay "neutral" on this matter, you're clearly saying that you're okay with Israel murdering children and women...
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peachesofteal · 1 month
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i finally had the time to sit and read the new chapter of simple math AUUUUUGH
graves can eat shit and die, disrespectfully, i wish him the worst
"You want a life in the sun. He wants to become a shadow himself" against the descriptions of simon's expressions and all the references to shadows and sunlight?? "Inky dark shadow flickers across Simon’s face, but sunlight chases it away, happiness crinkling at the corners of his eyes." BRO??
and johnny, "The light is dim, casting short shadow across his face, his sweet eyes drenched in worry-"
bc simon and johnny aren't saints; they know graves from work for a reason, and the little itty bitty bits hinting at them being good but still being capable of underhandedness is just.... chefs kiss. no notes. perfection as usual.
also the shadow bit here, i feel like thats supposed to be for bunny when she feels as small as Graves has tried to make her feel- "You’re barely a shadow, a clip of a person on the other end of the hall and yet-" but when the boys see her they say she lights up every room she steps in, and at the very end she's thinking "A moment in the sun" when she says yes to staying with them
i love bunny, her walls are built so high and her cautiousness is tearing my heart apart but she's finally giving an inch for the boys to take a mile. theyre gonna rip graves to shreds
im really excited to see her finally be able to offload some of that burden onto the boys. moral greyness aside, it seems that it would be more of "the means justify the ends" kind of greyness than them wanting her to be theirs for bad reasons. there's a darker possessiveness sure, but it comes from a place of genuine infatuation.
i will say tho that i think the boys are the ones who reserved the block of hotel rooms. simon knows where she was staying and they seem a little too in-the-know otherwise (johnny knowing and being the first to mention that she'd otherwise be in an on-call room, simon gesturing to johnny to slow down etc)
simple math is so fun to read. so much to dissect and reread and it feels like every bit of it is important in the long run
also the valentines lights on piece was SUCH a delight and it KILLED me. he is dada..... finally dada.... they make me so soft.
also also i have more thoughts on ur hades/persephone piece too BUT i gotta sit back down with it again lol. u deserve proper citations.
but as always, such a treat, u are so good at what u do and thank u for sharing with us xoxo
YOU are such a treat, omg I love this analysis. This just made my cold little heart glow so warmly. I love this perspective on the shadow and light and I will say it is very in line with my own in regards to these characters and how their story will progress. You're also the first to mention that about the hotel block specifically which I find interesting, but of course, I'm just going say... wait and see.
As always it's a pleasure to read your breakdown and I have cherished this. Thank you so much, I am so happy you're enjoying it.
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