the inherent homoeroticism of abandoning your boy for a second time, only this time it’s because you love him and want to protect him, but you can’t tell him that so you have to let him think you’ve turned your back on him again
118 notes
·
View notes
Wheel of Time is an insane book series because really early on it’s established that one of the main characters has the memories of dozens to hundreds of past lives that were all great generals and he also learns to speak a dead language and so far this has not been adequately explained or even questioned by the character.
But I'm also seven books in and we have yet to enter a town and not immediately have the color and materials of the roof tiles described in nauseating detail.
399 notes
·
View notes
The Wheel of Time but take a shot every time Mat, Perrin, or Rand thinks that they are bad with women and that the other two are better.
66 notes
·
View notes
I'm convinced RJ separated Mat and Rand because otherwise he would've had to follow through on making Mat into Rand's WarderGeneral at which point it would've been impossible for Rand to spiral so low.
Every time Mat feels that gaping abyss of depression through the bond:
"Time for a holiday. The end of the world will have to wait."
*stages a kidnapping of the Dragon bloody Reborn that has Rand's eyes twinkling*
"Don't look at me like that, Rand. This is for me. I can't think through all your brooding."
301 notes
·
View notes
Wheel of Time Characters and the Cars They'd Drive
Written by someone who knows extremely little about cars
Rand: The poor boy buys like a standard issue sedan and then a bunch of weirdos start following him around and telling him that the car is "special." Moiraine spray paints dragon decals on his car one night while he's sleeping. People keep trying to slash his tires but he always catches them just in time. You know how it goes
Perrin: Pickup truck with normal sized wheels. Great for helping people move! Also great for running people over. Duality of man etc etc. There's always a dog in the back sticking its head out the window, but Perrin does not know this dog or where it came from
Nynaeve: She buys a used car that looks like it's falling apart and everyone tells her that she overpaid. Four months in, they realize that the last owner did a bunch of Fast and Furious style modifications and Nynaeve could probably outrace God
Mat: Bike. This SHOULD NOT WORK but somehow he's still on time to everything. This baffles everyone, including him
Egwene: Something VERY practical with great gas mileage, like a honda civic. That's the only practical car I know because it's what my dad told me to buy.
Elayne: Lexus. Mat makes fun of her for driving a luxury car and she's like "????? it's not like it's a Cadillac?"
Liandrin: A Cadillac
Moiraine: A jeep, but the nicest most upgraded version. Unless there's a car that's better for off-roading, in which case she drives that instead
Lan: A cool classic car. A car that can drift (maybe all cars can drift but Lan's definitely can). He thinks that Nynaeve's car is The Coolest for some reason
Lanfear: A horse! Just kidding. She drives a silver range rover because an article I googled said that range rovers are the king of the road.
Bonus:
Asmodean: the car type Does Not Matter all that matters is that he has a vanity license plate
362 notes
·
View notes
God bless Matrim "a little lace at the wrists" Cauthon
76 notes
·
View notes
"WOT isn't popular because it doesn't have an M/M couple for tumblr to ship"
Cauthor, Maksim and Ihvon:
85 notes
·
View notes