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#matt mercer

Y'know what, the REAL Critical Role curse is not the Mercer Comparison that players inflict upon their DMs. It’s seeing so many people Care and be Invested and make art for a campaign they do not play in.

Like, the worst part about being the DM for my primary friend group is that I get Really Excited about things I have planned for my campaign and I just Can’t Tell Anyone. Because almost all of my friends that are really into D&D are In My Campaign. And the people who are mildly interested in listening to my storytelling aren’t invested enough in it to properly care in that really satisfying way.

I can say “Yeah so the secret behind that Haunted House is [redacted].” and the person listening is just like “oh, damn.” and That’s It. No one is asking in depth questions or begging for more info. Their interest caps out with my self-maintained enthusiasm. Having a show like CR or TAZ or anything else is The Dream because if I got consistently interested questions and, god forbid, ART for my campaign, -outside of the scope of what one of my artistic players can do- I would CRY.

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Tired of reading manga with your eyes? 👁👄👁

Then open up your ears for MMM Manga! 👂

Our new manga reading service features some of your favorite voice actors - Matthew Mercer and Maile Flanagan! Available today only!

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The newest addition to the Critical Role Family looks to be amazing! I can’t wait for Critter Hug to air on… May 4th? (Will there be Star Wars content? Who knows.)

I took a good look at those side effects scrolling down the screen and thought I should share them…

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Transcript below:

Critter Hug side effects may include: irrational giddiness, nausea, heart burn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.

Critter Hug does not reccomend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned by any of our CR family especially Sam Riegel.

Please consult your local Wizard if symptoms progress into all out mania, as the only solution may be a Wish Spell. If your insurance does not cover a Wish Spell, a simple straight jacket and padded cell will suffice. While in said padded cell, learn a new skill!

Like bread baking!

Do you like bread? It’s really easy to make. Just take 5 cups all-purpose flour, a couple tablespoons of yeast, 1 teaspoons of sugar, 1 teaspoon salt, are you paying attention? 2 cups warm-hot water, ¼ cup cooking oil. Put 4 cups of flour, yeast, sugar and salt into large bowl. Pour in hot water and oil and mix until combined - it will be sticky. Add the remaining flour in increments until the goop is no longer sticky.

Knuckle Truckle the goop for about 5 minutes or until the goop is elastic and smooth. Place the goop back into the bowl and cover with your tears until it gains the ability to speak - about ½ hour. Beat it down until it’s lost all of its spirit and divide the dough into two handsome pieces. Fill two oily loaf pans and leave to rise until the goop has reached the rim of your past.

Impulse purchases are a documented side effect of Critter Hug in .025% of test group participants, but only on a grand scale. I’m talkin’ grand like… one of our test subjects straight up left the testing facility and bought the The Grammys. Yeah, like… the Awards Show. No one knows how he did it, but in an interview with Forbes Magazine he said, “I am trapped in an ivory tower of priviledge! No one understands my pain!”

Time lapses, scientifically referred to as “coronal displacement episodes” were largely documented but then they weren’t. And then they were and then they weren’t again. Back and forth, back and forth, the paradoxes romantically danced a temporal tango, until Karen from finance bumped the record player and totally ruined the mood.

001001 010010101 0010100 10101 absolute power corrupts absolutely 01001010101.. 101001001 010010101 00101 “What is the Absolute?

Something that appears to us in fleeting experiences–say through the gentle smile of a beautiful woman, or even through the warm caring smile of a person who may otherwise seem ugly and rude. In such miraculous but extremely fragile moments, another dimension transpires through our reality. As such the Absolute is easily corroded; it slips all too easily through our fingers and must be handled as carefully as a butterfly.”

Cuteness comes were substantially observed, and OMFG they were adorable.

Sudden hallucinations of Mollymauk body pillow were documented in nearly 98% of test subjects.

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Mica: “Attention, Critters! Are you suffering from an acute lack of cuteness?”

Matt: “Do you often feel lost in a fog of dread and familiarity?”

Mica: “Are your serotonin molecules… sero-snoozing?”

Matt: “Well, wallow no more, Critters, because we’ve got the prescription for you!”

Both: “Critter Hug!”

Mica: “A new show on Critical Role where Matt and I spotlight artists, developers and businesses from all over the tabletop world.”

Matt: “The first Monday of every month, Mica and I will be delivering a concentrated dose of love and admiration for all the amazing creators and folks in our community and beyond.”

Mica: “Things like indie RPGs—”

Matt: “—DIY dungeon crafters—”

Mica: “—friendly local game stores—”

Matt: “—and much, much more.”

Mica: “So ask a doctor if a monthly prescription for Critter Hug is right for you.”

Dani, in voiceover: “Critter Hug side effects may include irrational giddiness, impulse purchases, time lapses, cuteness comas, and sudden hallucinations of the Mollymauk body pillow.”

Mica: “Have you hugged your Critter today?”

Matt: “Y-you—you okay, Mica?”

Mica: “Yeah!”

[outro music]

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