I truly believe that Kaz would adamantly refuse to tell anyone in Ketterdam his birthday. I also believe that the Crows would not stand for his lack of birthday-ness and make up a date to celebrate.

THEN Jesper decides an even more fun idea is to pick a different day each year to celebrate Kaz’s birthday. Nobody tells Kaz when the day is that year so he lives in fear of when they will spring the impromptu birthday surprise on him.

Sometimes this can be awkward if they walk into his office to sing Happy Birthday only to find Kaz in the middle of ripping someone’s eye out.

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 1 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #179 ↳𝟷.𝟶𝟾: 𝚗𝚘 𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚜

Calling you out based on your favourite Crow: A very non-requested series

Warning: CK spoilers

So, Kaz, huh? Quick survey. Are you familiar with the concept of therapy?

*Plays "Daddy Issues" by the neighbourhood in the back* Oh, I'm sorry. What were you saying about Wylan?

Jesper? Really? How's the undiagnosed adhd going?

Oh. Nina's your favorite Crow? Do you even remember what your original hair color was? Also, when did you realise you were bi?

Absolutely no call-out if your fave is Inej. Just know you're hot and probably the sweetest person ever.

I'm sorry, did you say Matthias? You should really stop getting emotionally attached to dead characters. It's not healthy. And don't lie, I know he's not the only one.

Matthias: I assume you realise I won't tolerate this kind of idiocy.

Jesper: Is there another kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

matthias: you have friends and i envy that

nina: you're welcome to share them

matthias: [looks at kaz and jesper]

matthias: i don't want those

not to be bi but

OH MY GOD

Remember when …

Jesper met Colm who was never before in Ketterdam and Jesper tried to pretend that everything is absolutely normal.

Even though people where shooting at them. Later when he threatened a scholar with his gun, he claimed that it was just like shaking hands in Ketterdam and Wylan agreed while the scholar was like “Ghezen, no!” Wylan was throwing bombs and they escaped through a secret tunnel and Colm said: “This town is even worse than it was described in the travel guide!”

… WELL, THAT WAS FUNNY!

#Crowtober2021 Day 20 Stolen.

Ice Court News: Jurda parem making Inferni stolen by six angry teenagers.

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i apologize in advance to all my neighbors because when i see wylan for the first time on screen, im gonna scream so hard that their houses are gonna collapse, the earth will stop spinning and the black holes will close-

One frosted, Ketterdam day, as snow fell gently, and flames crackled in the fireplace, Kaz Brekker and Inej Ghafa lay on a sofa, close together under their warmest blanket. Kaz is relaxed, half asleep, and warmed by Inej. It had taken time, but now, under her touch, he was softened wax. For her, his fire, his flame and love, he would be anything she chose. He would let her shape him to whatever she liked, he was no longer cold glass, he would not shatter under her fingertips.

The crows would be so feral during a game night situation, I can't-

Monopoly? Kaz would just continuously steal from everyone and Jesper would lose his absolute shit over it. (“PICCADILY WAS MY CARD, GIVE IT BACK-”)

Charades? Nina and Jesper are the dream team so they always pair up. Wylan and Matthias are both betrayed their SOs ditched them so they get aggressively competitive and shamelessly try to mouth the answers to one another.

Twister? Kaz is the person who spins the wheel while getting pissed off at everyone teaming up to try and knock Inej down bc she wins everytime.

Trivia? Nina makes up the questions and she has such bias towards Inej, it’s ridiculous. ( “What is the Suli word for friendship?” “Come on! Give us one the rest of us know, Nina!” “Fine. When is Inej’s birthday? I- oh, Kaz. You are somehow first to answer. Go ahead.”)

Scrabble? Everyone tries to make up words and Wylan is the judge who decides which words are real or not. ( “Sorry, Jes. Merchling isn’t actually a playable word.” “YOU LET KAZ HAVE DIRTYHANDS!” “I think it’s a playable word, Jesper.” “Nobody asked you, Kuwei.”)

Pictionary? Wylan is too good at drawing so he has to be the person guessing. Everyone else sucks so it’s mainly torture for him. Weirdly enough, Matthias always seems to know what Nina is trying to draw. She’ll put down a square and he’ll shout “THE DARKLING” and nobody else knows wtf is going on.

Uno? Matthias gets HEATED over which version of the game they play. He is NOT okay with stacking Draw Fours. It is against the rules and you aren’t allowed to do it in his opinion. Naturally, the rest of them stack their Draw Fours so he has to pick up 20-25 cards. He refuses to speak to Nina the rest of the might over it.

Go Fish? Inej is NOT letting Kaz count cards. She won’t let him get away with it. Kaz is affronted she has turned against him like this but, as it turns out, she really wants to win a game of Go Fish and will throw Kaz under the bus to do it.

Clue? The worst of all. Everyone is trying to frame everyone else, and it gets personal. Kaz has somehow figured it out within the first five minutes and spends the rest of the game trying to sabotage everyone else.

Helnik // Sheriff & Outlaw AU

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 1 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #1807 ↳𝟷.𝟶𝟾: 𝚗𝚘 𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚜

Unpopular opinion but I don't want soc#3, not because one of the Crows will die - I don't mind that if it's done in a beautiful and meaningful way- but because if they continue the plot from Rule of Wolves then a Crow would die doing something for the fucking Darkling, and and I don't think I could see any of my faves stop breathing for that abusive bitch cow

Kaz: surgery is just stabbing someone to life.

Jesper:

Jesper: please never become a surgeon-

therapist: so what brought you here to couple's therapy today?

wylan: he never takes anything seriously.

therapist: and what about you?

jesper: a car

evil kaz be like “i don’t protect my investments”

I love Kaz’ iconic

“I’ve been shot!”, he screamed. He had not been shot.

And

They blew up the lab. Kaz didn’t tell them to blow up the lab.

Soc characters as shit my teachers have said

Jesper: To the meat for store-…the other way, for store to meat- this is not working

Nina: Listen, a goddess does not come by metro (underground train??)

or

To learn reciting a poem, you need a great ass.

Kaz: Don’t doodle on the table, I’ll make you lick it off.

or

Does anyone have any more wishes, sighs, complaints, whining, crying, death-rattle, mourning, or whimpering? (sorry for the poor translation lol)

Matthias: our goal is not- i don’t even know, anything.

or

Open the windows, it smells like a pet store in here. Parrots, mongolian gerbil, fish food…

Inej: Now did i die, or did you all die?

or

Jesper, stop bleating. (as in bleating like a goat)

Wylan: They’re whispering messages of love to you in the language of transformators