Ask a historian, “What was mankind’s greatest invention?” Fire? The wheel? The sword? I would argue it’s history itself. History isn’t fact. It’s narrative, one carefully curated and shaped. Under the pen strokes of the right scribe, a villain becomes a hero, a lie becomes the truth.
Steve would be an absolute menace (pun intended) with the fake, clunky, plastic lightsabers that start being sold when the Star Wars prequels come out.
He doesn't get one for himself, he steals one of Eddie's or Dustin's and twirls it in his hand before he whacks someone with it. The only people free from his viscous lightsaber attacks are Max and Erica.
Yes, this does devolve into Steve, Eddie, and the Party having giant lightsaber battles in somebody's backyard. Eddie has Darth Maul's double-ended one and smacks himself in the face with it more than he hits anyone else.
hatchetverse but paul accidentally becomes everyone's parental figure. lex & hannah's? sure, they deserve a good parent who'll look out for them. stephanie lauter? yeah, why not, her dad highkey sucks. richie? absolutely, could even make them be biologically related for the lols. he meets peter through ted, they're chill (potential for angst if ted disappears in this iteration of the multiverse). he's the guy alice goes to about all of her stresses and worries- the 'cool uncle'. he meets ruth at the coffee shop where he sees emma before they have a concrete relationship, ruth is very vocal about how she wishes she could have a partner too. he could be even max freaking jagerman's unofficial dad (he does not think max has to fight off "one lousy skele'un" to be worth something). he tries to solve grace chasity's religious guilt with "yeah no sex is normal" and she views him as a source for all advice on the matter after that. paulkins but paul is a tired dad and emma doesn't find out he has like 50 kids until they've been dating a couple months and one of them randomly runs into his house. she introduces him to tim and he just rolls with it. it's another nephew, okay, neat. he's not great with kids but he finds himself with loads of them somehow anyway. then they all face off against sadistic eldritch gods and multiple cults together like a family. what more could you want?
daniel ricciardo and max verstappen on 7news melbourne discussing how max travels with 11 padel boards, how they have great chemistry, and max declaring we should "keep on making babies".
(if used, please credit, it took me a long time to chop and stitch this together x)