#may be mistaken don't quote me on it
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—"POETIC RIZZ" various
SYNOPSIS: Horrible 3AM post—Just a bunch of random quotes/lines from various shows & books that i mixed together (Also diasomnia has the best rizz ngl)
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT RIDDLE ONCE SAID
"In vain, I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. One word from you will silence me on this subject forever. And so I beg you, most fervently, to relieve my suffering and consent to be my lover."
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT DEUCE ONCE SAID
“This feeling has possessed me, I think and...I wanted to tell you that wherever you may end up in this world, I will be searching for you. I'm not afraid of anything now. I finally understand. I'm in love. We're in love. That means we'll meet again. I'm sure of it. ”
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT LEONA ONCE SAID
"I had not intended to love but now, I have for the first time found what I can truly love—I have found you. And I will love you until I die, and if there is life after that, I'll love you then. You're more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same."
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT RUGGIE ONCE SAID
“I love you but I know it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; I'm gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you; forever and everyday.—I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life."
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT AZUL ONCE SAID
"I desire more…than what's within my reach. Who blames me? Many call me discontented. I couldn't help it: the greed is in my nature. Please just bear with me. You pierce through my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it."
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT JADE ONCE SAID
"I miss you deeply, unfathomably, senselessly, terribly.I long for you; I who usually longs without longing, as though I am unconscious and absorbed in neutrality and apathy, really, utterly long for every bit of you. Moreover, you are the knife I turn inside myself; that is love. That, my dear, is love."
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT FLOYD ONCE SAID
"I heard what you said. I’m not the sappy romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want seaglass or shiny pearls. I have all those things already. I want…you. A steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love you, and be loved by you."
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT IDIA ONCE SAID
"My Persephone, I would have chosen you a thousand times over, the Fates be damned. Even if they unraveled our destiny, I would find a way back to you. All my heart is yours: it belongs to you; and with you it would remain, were fate to exile the rest of me from your presence forever."
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT VIL ONCE SAID
"Darling you are mistaken, and you know nothing about me, and nothing about the sort of love of which I am capable. Every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own. Now, tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you, anyway. Yes, you make mistakes, are out of control and at times hard to handle. But if I can't handle you at your worst, then I surely don't deserve you at your best."
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT ROOK ONCE SAID
"In beauty of face and soul, no maiden ever equaled you. If I were to be blinded the moment I laid eyes upon your incandescent form, I would not grieve, for in that very instance I have truly gazed upon everlasting beauty."
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT LILIA ONCE SAID
"Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad. But I beg of you do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you. Oh, God..It is unutterable. I can not live without you in my life. I can not live without my soul. It is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone."
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT MALLEUS ONCE SAID
“I have little left in myself—I must have you. The world may laugh—may call me absurd, selfish—but it does not signify. My very soul demands you: it will be satisfied, or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame.”
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT SEBEK ONCE SAID
"I am a gentleman. I have been raised to act with honor, but that honor is hanging by a thread that grows more precarious with every moment I spend in your presence. You are the bane of my existence, and the object of all my desires."
WHEN HE SAYS “ILY”, BUT SILVER ONCE SAID
"I have a strange feeling with regard to you. On some days—I have dreamed and wished I was one of your tears. To be born in your eyes, roll down your cheeks, and to die on your lips."
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#deuce spade x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#ruggie bucchi x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#rook hunt x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#silver vanrouge x reader#silver x reader
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okay first things first
a) i am insane
b) i really like clowns
so put these two things together and what do you get?
you get clown rainy of course!!! look at him go!!!
I should probably explain what's going on, so i will! I had made clown rainy... and then sort of made an au centered around that idea, not that i really think of it as any proper au, since it's mostly for oc's and such! with that out of the way i will explain his acts! yippee!
he is a dreamer! a wanderer of the stars, if you will! He does tightrope and trapeze! At least, that's what i think fits him best!
his stage name is the Sleepwalker! very sleepy, very tired, you get the gist! they call him that because he's often mistaken for having his eyes closed on the tightrope, so they think he's "sleepwalking"!
his solo shows are mostly calmer segments, im not sure how to describe it really. usually he has a microphone attached to him, so he may talk to the audience! however, he's usually talking to himself really, but thats what they come for!
Rainy's ramblings are sort of hopeless romantic, but some of the things he says can be comedic as well, it depends really...
his shows are supposed to leave you sighing, if that makes sense! my favorite quote of his is this;
"I hope you don't make fun of me, but i've always wanted to dance amongst the stars... haha, do you think i would be good at it?
Oh, if i had a partner with me we could dance on the rings of Saturn, that would so lovely, wouldn't it? ...Oh well, i suppose it's alright, i don't mind dancing alone, the stars are always a witness..."
on another note, he's a duo with Maverick! (because of course he is!)
they are very silly together, a couple of clowns... a clown couple... clowns...
they do various bits together!
though, admittedly, Rainy's favorite bit to do with maverick is to gently smack him in the face, he thinks its hilarious
very silly indeed!
(also! note! yes, i know, rainy's design did quite change a bit, but just know the colored reference is the one i'm going with! as much as i love a good clown, they never cease to make it difficult to draw...)
i should probably note that the au so far has mostly been about them specifically...
hehe, it was probably obvious though!
#welcome home oc#rainy dewdrop#welcome home#myart#but also not my art#maverick mic#how do i tag this#clown au???#but it's not really about everyone else...#clown rainy...#i suppose it is#hmmm#i want a specific name for it. since really it doesnt fit with a wh au label...#maybe i'll call it the dewdrop circus#as a tag i mean!#not that rainy owns the circus! it's just to clarify that its mine#since i know they're are proper clown/circus au's out there!#mine is just for rainy... and maverick... its for them specifically really....#bwah.#dewdrop circus
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Here are 100 random quotes from Mammon!
Sourced from the OM! Wiki, chats, devilgram, screenshots I found, etc. I made this list to help with studying to write the characters in character. (Not really proofread, sorry if there are mistakes. Also, there may be spoilers. If so, they're minor spoilers)
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“I want to [CENSORED], [CENSORED], and [CENSORED] like there's no tomorrow!”
“Hey! No touchin'! Grrr..!”
“Hey! So you're just gonna ignore me, are ya?! ...Also, I SAID you're too close! Don't get near MC! And NO touchin'! I won't allow it!”
“I don't want to have anything to do with someone like you! That's it. we're done! It's over! ...gr ...! ...! Dammit! Like I could ever really say that to you! I love you, MC! And I'II NEVER break up with you, okay?! NEVER!
“Hey, whoa! Whaddya think you're doin', huh?! You want a piece of me?! IS THAT IT?!”
“Come on, I was just kiddin' around! Now go on and unblock me. ...I'll tell ya a funny joke if you do. "Who's got two thumbs and needs some company?" 👍 "THIS GUY!" 👍 At least gimme a pity laugh, will ya?!”
“Right now it's just you, me, a bed, and no one to bother us.”
“Oh yeah? Well do me a favor and look into your crystal ball and tell me how many times I'm gonna sock you for that smartass comment.”
“I don't THINK so! Like, don't go marryin' Asmo, MC! If you're gonna marry someone, marry m...m-m-m…..m-m-ME! MARRY THE GREAT MAMMON!”
“Y'know..I wouldn't have pegged you as someone who likes to stir up trouble. But you have some pretty interestin' ideas up there in that head of yours, don't ya?”
“Whoa, hey there. Those are some pretty harsh words. Is there some sorta bad blood between you?”
“Look at those cheeks of yours. What's up with those, huh? How'd ya like me to give 'em a little poke? ...Like that! ...And that!”
“Would ya look at that? The Great Mammon really has an eye for spottin' shiny and expensive things! Who knew such a little shop would have uncut gems like these? Hehehe, come to daddy...”
“What's this here...an emerald? You're a looker, aren't ya? Wanna come home with daddy?”
“Lemme go! I'm not gonna rest until l've landed one really good hit on Levi!… Beel! Lemme go, ya muscle-bound son of a...! …All right, bring it on! Do it...see what happens!”
“Man, what's got your panties in a wad all of a sudden?”
“Yeah-heah-HEAAAH! Sweet, sweet treasure! COME TO PAPA!”
“No frickin' way!”
“Geez, I oughta wrap you up for pullin' a stunt like that!”
“Y'see, I was plannin' on hanging out with MC in my room today. And I wanted to create a romantic atmosphere, y'know? So I lit about 500 candles, and the room caught on fire. Scared the bejeebers outta me!”
“You think a little w-warnin' like that would be enough to s-s-scare me off? He thinks I'm gonna stop s-s-spyin' on him because of that? As if!”
“Folks around here won't let us forget it. But they're just labels. By now, no one knows better than us that labels don't mean anything.”
“Th-That's so coooohohohohold! Ahahaha! Why you guys gotta be so meeeeean?”
“C'mon, man. Make with the mouth openin'. The rest of us are waitin' for our turn.”
“Yeah, I know what you're thinkin'. How'd I turn out to be so awesome? You can tell I've been through both highs and lows, and that I'm self-assured and totally sexy.”
“If I can land a nice, clean blow on Lucifer just once, then whatever happens, happens.”
“And I hate the way you lock eyes with Lucifer...and then like smile and stuff... Don't do that, okay? Don't even breath in front of him, okay?!”
“Exactly. Nothin' of value is missin', except for the stuff I sold.”
“That's rough, buddy.”
“You might not know what I'm talkin' about, but I know what l'm talkin' about! Quit showin' up in my dreams uninvited! Ya gotta give me time to prepare before you go bustin' in like that!”
“D-Dummy! Don't go makin' me say it!”
“Have you forgotten? I AM evil! Demon, remember?”
“What? No, you must be mistaken, Your Wonderfulness. I said absolutely nothing of the sort.”
“Whoever's disturbed my...*yawn* my sleep... I got a pile driver with your name on it”
“Hey, you sure you'll be satisfied with just leaving things at my head?”
“If you're wondrin' where I'm at, that means ya got it bad for me, don't ya? ...Please don't pull that "stay" thing on me.”
“Levi, you son of a-- You just full-on PUNCHED me!”
“Eh, still... It feels nice when you run your hand through my hair like that. So l'll go ahead and let it slide.”
“Wha? No, I wasn't tryin' to make fun of ya... Little guy.”
“Damn straight.”
“Anyway, he said he'd be willin' to lend me money again if I managed to pay back everythin' I owed. Obviously, there's no way I can, so I pretended not to have seen anythin' and ran like hell.”
“Nighttime's when I kick into gear! Let's go out on the town! Your treat!”
“I'm still laughin' my ass off over here!”
“You're the only thing more dazzlin' than a gold credit card! Almost blinding, I'd say!”
“Final boss, my ass! Listen up, 'cause the Great Mammon's got some truths for you haters!”
“Just this once, l'II let ya film me in a bathtub full of money! How's THAT for fan service?!”
“So? Waitin' like a good boy's gone and earned me some kinda reward, right?”
“I'll raise my favorability score with MC lickety-split, profess my love, and win this game before you even know what hit you!”
“...Aww. ...I mean, now listen, you! Dammit. You really play dirty, you know that...?”
“Ah, there ya are! How'd you like to hit the casino with me, huh?! Right now! I'm feelin' lucky today. REAL lucky!”
“Just so we're clear, I ain't afraid of no horror movies. Not even a little! Not even a teensy-tiny bit, all right? Like, seriously.”
“Just to be clear, it's not like l'm afraid Lucifer might catch me if I go alone. That's not what this is about. Seriously, that's not what this is about! For real, it isn't!”
“I've got some serious business opportunities lined up for after classes tomorrow. I'm talkin' makin' some mad cheddar, yo! If Lucifer asks about me, tell him I was called to the human world by the witches, would ya?”
“You don't sleep until I do, you got that? And would ya look at that?! The ol' Sandman forgot to sprinkle his magical sand in my eyes! So strap in, buddy! We got a looooong night ahead of us!”
“Listen, Lucifer is gonna be all over my ass once he finds out…”
“No need to worry your pretty little head. I'll be around for meals and sleep. The bed's pretty big, after all”
“Yeah, a real gold digger, that one.”
“I wasn't about to give in to that jerk's demands. I've got more self-respect than that. So, I told him what the deal was: I get the room rent-free and he can shove his two-year contract where the sun don't shine. But then that snake threatened to snitch to Lord Diavolo and Lucifer if I didn't pay up.”
“Cheap shot callin' a guy stingy cause he's lookin' out for his pal.”
“Bet your wonderin' how a guy like me-drownin' in debt, frozen credit card, more lint in his pockets than Grimm-“
“Using my power and influence, I'll push you through the auditions and get you the chance to model, no strings attached! Well, maybe one string: front and center's all mine. Hope the edge is good enough for ya!”
“I swear, I'm not tryin' to pull a fast one on ya, MC, ol' buddy ol' pal!”
“We're pals, right? If ya really wanna know the details, I'll tell ya for 500 Grimm. If you've got the cash on-hand now, I'll tell ya for half the price. So, what'll it be?”
“Hey! MC! Why ya runnin' BUDDY?”
“Ya know, just a peek! So, help me out by opening the door, just a little?… But I caaaaaaaaan't! Open the door and let me see already!”
“My dear sunglasses just took their last breath... I kinda accidentally killed them. I crushed them...with my rear end. That's right, my poor sunglasses...and bum.”
“I'll whip up my special cup ramen! I'll bring it up in a bit, so just sit tight.”
“Look, l'm sendin' ya a ping! So get your butt over here, pronto!”
“Seriously, I'll bust my ass and get there at Mach speed!”
“Crap, that really does make me feel all warm and fuzzy. Thanks, MC. I love ya a whole bunch, too!”
“I got a raffle ticket when I went shoppin' today, so I tried my luck, and booyah. Jackpot, baby!”
“I've got jack all to do! JACK ALL!”
“Listen to what I'm saying, dammit! Can't someone shut this guy up?!”
“Huh, ya don't say. Whoopsie.”
“If you're thinkin' of saving that picture of me on your D.D.D., I swear I'll put a curse on ya! I'll make it so that you never find money layin' on the street again! And don't you forget it...”
“Jealous? Wanna join me, right? Well, this isn't the sorta place that humans can just go lollygaggin' about in, so keep your pants on.”
“Haha! That's all ya got?!”
“It's an honor to be fightin' ME!”
“Muahahaha. ALL points for MAMMON! Bow down to me!”
“Hehehe, I'm feelin' GOOD today. I got ya somethin'!”
“Oh...? Yeah, that's the spot! Right there!”
“That's a good human. You're gettin' the hang of it, aren't ya?”
“Yo. So ya dropped in to pay Mammon a visit, eh? Good on ya!”
“Missin' the Great Mammon, were ya? Heh, welcome home.”
“Hey, not there! That tickles!”
“What are ya, a spoiled brat?”
“I guess everyone's like that with their first. Who knew ya could be so cute. Hey, why dontcha be more greedy? That way you'd really win my heart.”
“Hey... Oi... All right, already! Pay attention to me!”
“Hey, can't ya be gentle?!”
“Ya know what do to, doncha? Thanks!”
“Eeeew, take that back. Give it to someone else.”
“Hahaha! Is that all ya got? It's nothing compared to Lucifer's swing!”
“Don't think you can get away with this!”
“Here, I got a present for ya! Beach time, you and me! Let me show you how well I can swim!”
“Also, I'm goin' wakeboarding but... I'm gonna bring you along too, 'cause ya know, I like hangin' out with ya and stuff.”
“A Red Demonus after a long day's work is the best! Why doncha grab one too?”
“It's cool if we chill here and drink together, yeah?”
“This looks so flippin' good!”
“Hey, why don't we go this year? Keep the date open, all right?”
“They're very nice, so I thought it woulda cost ya a pretty penny!”
Couple extra for my boy
“You wanted to match with me, ya say?! Cute!”
“Someone put a photo frame in your room, right? That was me. You were eyein' it up in the shop so I bought it. You put a picture of everyone in it, but I really wanted you to put one of just us t... Never mind.”
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I love this goofy fucker
𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉
𝒮𝒽𝓎 𝒲𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒𝓇 ༝༚༝༚
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Update: new info about David Tennant's elusive 1996 short film Quality Control!
I've got a few new updates to add to this post I did a while back about a short film David Tennant did in 1996 called Quality Control. If you haven't yet read my first post about this short film, you can read it at the link I posted above. And then come on back!
Firstly, Quality Control was broadcast many more times than I thought it was! I thought it was only broadcast four times between 1996 and 1998, so imagine my surprise when I did some digging and found it had actually broadcast eleven times between 1996 and 1999. Oops!
But by far the biggest update I have on this short is that recently I've discovered why it was made...and by whom!
But first, the updated broadcast list:
BROADCAST DATES:
1996:
4 Jan 1996 - 1:55pm - Channel 4
10 Jun 1996 - 1:55pm - Channel 4
9 Dec 1996 - 2pm - Channel 4
10 Dec 1996 - 1:30pm - Regional S4C
1997:
18 Jun 1997 - 10:45am - Regional S4C
25 Jun 1997 - 10:45am - Channel 4 & Regional S4C
1998:
8 Feb 1998 - 3:30pm - Channel 4
26 Oct 1998 - 1:30pm - Channel 4
6 Nov 1998 - 1:30pm - Regional S4C
1999:
18 Jun 1999 - 1:30pm - Channel 4
29 Jun 1999 - 1:30p - Regional S4C
Of course now that I've found these, I'm aware there may be other broadcast dates I have yet missed. If so, I didn't find any past 2000. But I reserve the right to be mistaken, ha!
Now here's the bigger update: the why, and the who!
Published 23 June 1995 in The Scotsman, here's the article that broke it wide open for me, and its relevant quote:
"Simplicity and technical finesse marked this year's graduation films at the Edinburgh College of Art degree show. While Hannah Lewis's Quality Control makes excellent use of a superior comic performance by David Tennant as a youth trainee on his first day in a Leith sweatshop…"
WOW, right?
But this new information leads to all sorts of other questions. If this short was initially part of a degree course, how did it make the leap to broadcast? Was it in one of the short film UK production schemes happening at the time which were helping new film creatives launch their ideas: i.e., First Reels, Tartan Shorts, New Found Land?
I'm not sure. At first blush, Quality Control doesn't seem to have been included in a larger broadcast of shorts like Bite and Spaces had been (Bite was shown on the program Don't Look Down on STV, and Spaces was shown on STV as a part of First Reels.) In its broadcast listings, Quality Control is always listed on its own.
The description the article gives on the short is also very interesting. The article says David played a youth trainee on his first day in a Leith sweatshop. But reviews and blurbs of the short's plot in newspapers say he was a job trainee who becomes a quality controller/inspector at a skateboard factory. It seems to me that a sweatshop and a skateboard factory are two very different places, but are they? Was that changed somehow between its showing at the College of Art degree show, or was it just the article writer's bad description?
Blurbs about Quality Control from various newspapers
And just who is Hannah Lewis, its creator? Well my money's on producer Hannah Lewis, who's worked with Morag McKinnon and Colin McLaren. They all met at the Edinburgh College of Art, and had made three shorts together by 1999 (one of which, 'Home', won a BAFTA!) But if she is the right Hannah Lewis, Quality Control isn't listed anywhere on her IMDb. So while I can't be sure she's the short's creator, the time is right, and the place is right. A lot of the dots sure do line up!
Now we know why it was done - and who did it - can we find it? Is it archived somewhere? I haven't found it so far if it is - at least it's not archived at the Moving Image Archive in Glasgow, or at the British Film Institute. But I've yet to check to see if the Edinburgh College of Art may have it.
As far as all the other questions this raises - like how did David get involved with the project (since he was living in London at the time) and if he knew someone who knew someone who...ya know? Pfffft. Your guess is as good as mine! It's one more "I dunno" to add to the pile.
In conclusion, we may be as close as we've ever been to finding out more about David's elusive 1996 short, Quality Control.
I'll keep on searching!
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My sister and I made French toast from a recipe in a fanfiction. And we took a lot of pictures.
Welcome to the LatestParis_Kitchen.
For the last year or so, my sister and I have made a fun hobby of reading the most bizarre Phantom of the Opera fanfictions we can find. Out loud, tossing the phone back and forth to each other by chapter. Neither of us read it beforehand, and it's a 10/10 experience.
There's a POTO fanfic on Wattpad by the name "Angel In Hell". It's by user: momenttodebruh. Read the fic. It's the epitome of the perfect, unhinged Y/n fic. With loads of iconic lines. My sister and I quote this fic like it's a popular TV show. Seriously, it got to the point where my mother repeated one of lines because we said it so often. This fic is (intentionally or not) hilarious and a masterpiece.
In the fic, the protagonist, a Y/N my sister and I dubbed "Bitch", makes her "famous French toast™" to impress the manager into hiring her as a chef at the opera house.
The best part?
The recipe is followable with exact quantities given.
Here are screenshots from the fic:
I refined it to this recipe:
You know, just in case you're a freak who wants to try this.
My sister, Beth, and I have joked about "Bitch's famous French toast™" every time we make regular French toast, and today is the day we decide if her recipe would make us hire her.
Beth can make a mean French toast, so let's see how Bitch's famous recipe measures up.
Here's all the ingredients. We are following this shit as closely as possible, so no half batch. 6 eggs and all.
We thought we would only need four slices of bread. God were we mistaken.
Just as a side note, Beth and I were doing this while our parents were out to dinner, so we're on a time crunch. Sorry for any blurriness in the photos!
Here's the 6 eggs. This is the least gross looking photo I managed to take. Also, Beth is method acting, look at the Victorian lace on those sleeves.
MAY I PRESENT THE TEASPOON OF THE ONLY SEASONING! CINNAMON Y'ALL!
We added the vanilla extract here too, but I believe it didn't change much.
Okay, so we used our four slices only to discover that there was half the batter left. Beth suggested we make it to freeze. She has much more hope in Bitch's Famous French Toast than I do, but I agreed. We were drenching these slices, so maybe you could get more out of this recipe.
haha, this is where shit hits the fan, or egg hits the pan? Anyway, the house started to get a little smoky. Our house has smoke detectors connected to the alarm system, so if they go off, the firetrucks are coming. We burnt about half the French toast, so I took the smoke detectors off the walls. Then the alarm started... beeping? It wasn't blaring, thank God, but I'd never heard it beep before, so Beth opened all the windows to air out the house, and I had to awkwardly call my dad like: "heh, we made French toast, so if you get a call, don't let the fire trucks come. oops."
Only after that did I realize that the alarm was beeping because I took the smoke detectors off the walls.
So I put those back on.
We were simultaneously laughing our asses off while flipping out about the possibility of firefighters coming to our house because of a fanfic. It was fun. Certainly intensified this experience.
And in the end we had...
A strangely eggy, flavorless stack of "Bitch's Famous French Toast"
Some of them were very burnt, but that's down to Beth and me. Y/N doesn't hold any blame.
Look at all that toast (eight fucking slices) and keep in mind that Firmin canonically eats the entire stack. And, AND! It was so good, in the next chapter, he call for it to be served to the whole opera house.
Beth quote: "It really just tasted like eggs. The cinnamon didn't do much, but because the egg soaked into the bread so much, it had this strange, bizarre custardy quality?"
Her rating: 4/10
I, as a person with celiac disease, had to make it on gluten-free bread. It's worse that way: 3/10
After eating, uh, some of the French toast and freezing the rest for a moment of hungry desperation, we sat on the couch to collect ourselves. I started typing up this post, when our upstairs TV miraculously turns on (it turns on with any change in the room's lights, and it's extremely annoying).
What is it playing?
KITCHEN FUCKING NIGHTMARES
Which, in fairness, we had been watching earlier. Gordon Ramsay was speaking to our souls while we sat on that couch.
Side note, please don't take this as us hating on this fic. It was our single biggest inspiration while writing "A Girl's Desire" and we genuinely adore it for all it's worth.
If the author sees this, I will be starstruck.
#phantom of the opera#fanfiction#poto#erik destler#wattpad#fanfic#phantom of the opera fanfiction#phantom of the opera fanfic#gaston leroux#erik poto#poto musical
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Thank you for your insight! Although I really used to believe that Gojo wont come back I read some strong theories circulating around the internet that Id like to share them with you too because all of them makes so much sense ,more sense than Gege did with the whole chapter.Seeing that they are hard for me to turn a blind eye on Im also hopping onto the Gojo will come back train.Here they are-
" Gojo is based on 2 deities, Gauthama Buddha and the Buddhist Indra or Sakra 帝释天。 google帝释天手印, you can see its similar to gojo's DE. 焰摩天手印 and you get Sukuna's.In one of buddhist texts, 帝释天battled a demon (which is sukuna here) and was stabbed in his gut. He was later revived by other divine beings to battle the same demon and clinch victory. Sukuna's hand sign deity is yama, 焰摩天. But sukuna's deity didnt fight gojo's deity. He is just represented here as a demon in the story whom gojo's deity fought."
"Kashimo Hajime (鹿紫雲 一) means "purple deer.” “鹿” means deer, “ 紫雲” means purple cloud."
"Raigō (来迎, "welcoming approach") in Japanese Buddhism is the appearance of the Amida Buddha on a "purple" cloud (紫雲) at the time of one's death. The narrator nicknames Kashimo “the God of Thunder” or “Thunder God.”
"What comes next may hint at an aspect of Kashimo’s Curse Technique and/or Domain Expansion: The Amida would either arrive with two bodhisavatta or with a large retinue that includes musicians playing celestial music (turn up the volume because this is a funeral for the living). The spirit would then ascend to the pure land.
The pure land is the celestial realm of the Buddha and where many Buddhists aspire to be reborn."
"When Buddha was reborn with the Thunder God's arrival, he took several strides towards North. “If you wish to make yourself anew, go North.” With each stride, a lotus bloomed beneath their feet and declared himself to be the honoured one. Lotus flowers are indicative of strength, resilience, rebirth, rising from the mud pure."
Buddha started his spiritual journey at the age of 29
"Gojo is supposed to be 29 in the manga but he is not because he was sealed in the realm where time stopped for 19 days and his birthday was on 7 December and now he's dead as of 24th December.He will turn 29 in some hours."
"Gojo here will be revived and completely born as Buddha and choose north."
After reading all this and convinced enough I've come to a conclusion that maybe the reason Gege wrote Gojo's death in such a pathetic way was because it was not worth the effort to give him a beautiful and glorious death if he were to be revived anyway.Fans would be enraged about his return complaining that it ruined the emotional impact over his beautiful death and there was no reason to bring him back (Look at Bleach fans rants about Byakuya's death in soul society and his return).
The difference here is that eventhough fans are heartbroken over Gojo's death they are furious about the way he died.
Anyway I believe that if Gojo were to return he will only come after the Kashimo fight,the student's fight or at the climax of the series which will take so many months to finish up either way.
Oh, oh, this is wonderful and answers loots of questions.
I did know Gojo was based on Buddha, seeing as he also quoted him with heaven and earth and only him being honored one (The same way Toji was based on Sun Wukong, if I'm not mistaken).
I don't know Buddhism to a level to make connection to it, but I absulutely love the idea of Gege giving Gojo hirrible death so he can be revived.
I also love connection between Hakari and Gojo as Thunder God and Buddha.
#jujustu kaisen#jjk spoilers#jjk#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#gojo satoru#gojo#satoru#Gege I'm begging you#the world needs him alive
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May i respectfully ask how you can enjoy a ship if u didn't see the show for canon's sake?? 😄👀
Hey Anon! :)
Talking about Sterek are we, right?? :D
Upon reading your ask, I reflected on how I got into the Sterek fandom in the first place, and wow what a nice journey down the memory lane!!
Short answer to how I can enjoy a ship if I didn't see the show?
COLDFLASH.
Confused, are you? =D
The longer version of my babbling is under the cut, and so very sorry about that, coudn't help myself! :D
In case you don't know about the Coldflash ship, Anon, just a quick word. Tis the hero/villain ship from the Flash tv-show, aka Barry Allen/Leonard Snart.
THEM:
I started following this ig account ss.sterek [@holycafe if I'm not mistaken], liking all the coldflash posts, then getting curious about their other posts as well.
This is how Sterek came to be.
At first, it was a polite indifference, but the more I saw the sterek posts the more it got interesting to me, until one day I started searching for any Sterek content.
Until I started searching for any content on Tumblr, specifically.
Until I liked so many incorrect quotes and crack posts about this so-called Sourwolf and Spaz.
At some point their dynamic became SO addicting, I decided to start reading fics.
Did I understand any of the mentionned canon? Heck no.
(The Teen Wolf Wiki Page was a huge help in that regard, explaining to me what a kanima or a nogitsune was for example.)
Still, I remember the first fics I read were about Stiles being Pack Mom to the Wonder betas!! =D
Also fics closely (ish) related to canon...So yeah they always referred to stuff happening in the show that I usually didn't get...
With patience, some research, and LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF FICS, I began grasping things and characters surrounding the Sterek pair.
So I may not know about the Derek and the Stiles from the show, but I know of the fandom version of them.
Beleive me, it puzzled me how big it got to me. (BUT I'M LOVING IT!)
Like I probably have 2,000 bookmarked Sterek fics on AO3 plus the ones I've yet to read on my marked-for-later and the other ones I read without bookmarking them (rookie mistake xD).
I think the writers and the Sterek content creators have taken the grumpy-sunshiny & dry-sarcastic dynamics and wrote....how to say it? almost different characters than from the show? To the point I didn't need the show to understand them.
Nor did I wish to.
Actually, I tried watching after S06 got out, but didn't last more than 15 min maybe? My brain was too wired up on the Sterek vibe to fully appreciate the show. (Maybe my teenage ass would have liked it... But as I was watching soooo maaaaany tv-shows already, it was impossible to start watching Teen Wolf, and when I first heard of Sterek I was at Uni and really didn't have the time - But OH LORD THE NUMBER OF FICS I READ... My life saver to countless sleepless nights unable to close my eyes xD)
I've only watch THE famous Sterek Supercut!!!! :D <3
I don't know if you are aware of my Tumblr really, but if you are, you may notice I'm VERY MUCH INTO PLANES AND PILOTS these days... (okay it's been a year)....
YEAH YEAH YEAH TALKING ABOUT TOP GUN AND TOP GUN MAVERICK AND BLONDE AND BRUNET PILOTS SO WHAT OF IT?!
*I'm super chill, whatddyamean???? :D*)
Make NO mistake though, Sterek is still a favourite pair of mine, and I AM OH SO GLAD to see old and new content popping up in my dash. Still reblogging and reading!!!!!!!!!
ETERNAL STEREK!
Thank you to the original account that got me into Sterek. Thank you to THE STEREK FANDOM FOR CREATING THE MOST AMAZING CONTENT AND FICS.
Dear you go, Anon, rambles over. :D
(((I started writing the reply in the morning, and it is now the evening. I got distracted by real life stuff in the middle, and I AM EXHAUSTED. I hope you can make sense of all the babbling (or word-vomit, more like it.) I won't be reading again cause otherwise I'll keep adding stuff :D))
Have a good day Anon! ;)
#answered anon ask#coldflash got me into sterek :D <3#and I'm ever so grateful for it! <3#eternal sterek#sterek is eternal#I love sterek#I also mentionned coldflash and top gun.... AND I LOVE YOU TOO.#good lord this bean needs sleep xD#🐈red🐈furry🐈cat🐈tag🐈
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about Kataribanashi-hen manga (I finally? read it)
I've never read Kataribanashi-hen before, since those stories were not written by Ryukishi and I thought they might not be really good (how mistaken I was!), but I have a paper to write so naturally I'm doing litterally anything else, sooo I started reading it and while there are those stupid fanservice type of stories there are some cute ones too and some that are silly in an enjoyable way, if you haven't read it and don't plan to, here are some things I found stupid/weird/cute/sad
Punishment Games are a Silver Bullet: I liked this one, as a punishment Keichi has to go on a "date" with every girl from the club, he sits with Rika and holds her hand while she's resting, he goes to Satoko's old house with her to clean it for Satoshi's return, he finds some marbles with Rena in the garbage dump and at the end he spends time with Mion showing her that it's okay to be girly sometimes even if some may say it doesn't match her boy-like personality
Minaitoshi-hen: this one had some sad moments. it's basically a world in which Keichi is not in Hinamizawa and girlies team up to fight Takano and there's this badass Rena panel
but then they are all killed and Keichi get's the syndrome while in Tokio
Little Demon: what the fuck was that even...
The Melancholy of Stir-Fried Vegetables: girls going crazy for Keichi, not for me but we have a yassified Rena that looks like she's 30 and a cute satorika page
Nienagashi: Keichi has his own Beatrice arc?
Hinageshi-hen: THIS ONE IS SO GOOD AND SO SAD GO READ IT YALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm not gonna spoil it for you, just know it's crying for Mion chapter)
Satokoishi-hen: oh so Teppei's redemption arc wasn't a new thing and it wasn't even Ryukishi's idea...
The Butterfly's Dream -Endless Nightmare: all of Rika's nightmares come to life (also Hanyuu is umineko-style witchfied), the chapter ends with Zhuangzi's butterfly quote
Usomabushi-hen: Satoshi wakes up and he doesn't remember Shion yet she's willing to protect him at all costs (I CRIED GUYS, you know how I adore satoshion)
Rika-Sato Wars: aka satorika marriage crisis, I think that someone posted panels from that chapter here lately (witch of illusions was that you bestie?) and I wanted to read it since
The Cuckoo Clock and Dreams of a Loving Home: Takano (not)girlbossing chapter
Omorashi de Naku Koro ni: while this chapter starts as a stupid haha story it takes unexpected turn and it's actually good??
Limit: a different take on Meakashi, I liked this one, it's sad, it's scary, just how Higurashi should be
Welcome Home, Goodbye: Satoshi comes back (again!) and Rika is jelous...
it is really I'll make Rika stay in Hinamizawa forever but it's Rika keeping Satoko in her home now
Fans (even back then!) really saw how codepended the girls were and how hard saying farewell would be for Rika espiecially. I loved seeing her trying to stop Satoko (though she's spilling water to acomplish that, not blood hahah) and how devastated she feels to be left behind (ohh the pararels to gousotsumeguri!)
and after Rika got jealous of Satoshi, Hanyuu got jealous of Satoko and maaaan the girlies were FIGHTING
that's gotta be one of my favourite chapters (along with Hinageshi and Usomabushi)
Thank you: Hanyuu disappearing chapter (I cried again)
Yukiwatashi-hen: it's winter, Rika has problems but they have nice winter outfits tehee (and it's also a satorika chapter!)
girl yes
this post is getting too long so I think I'm gonna try to at least start my assignment, till something cries again, guys!
#higurashi#higurashi no naku koro ni#kataribanashi hen#when they cry#loooong post sorry#i have no idea why i haven't read that before#satorika
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'72 part II in detail, part 1. My overall feelings are still "hmmm", but now they are "hmmm" backed with line-by-line film analysis. I'd emphasize that this adaptation accomplishes a lot that's interesting and fresh, and you can dig in to it critically in a way that would collapse a film like '52 or '98. Ultimately it fails for me as a whole, but not without me being glad to have the pieces in hand that are good.
Julien Verdier plays the best Mabeuf, which—well—just because the competition isn't brisk doesn't mean you didn't win it, right? We open part II with a little speech of his that if I'm not mistaken (correct me if I'm wrong!) does not come from the Brick, but is a bit of freewheeling on the adaptation's part. Given the placement, it seems significant, and the temptation to boil it down into some straightforward political sentiment is strong, given the series' overall sense of politicalness. Eventually this man's degradation (his priceless books being made cheap by the necessity of their sale to literal goods) makes him a revolutionary of sorts, if a very wobbly and incoherent one—some counterpoint, a complication, maybe, to the fact that poverty in this story otherwise leads to crime? Not sure.
Thénardier continues to have far more status in '72 than in the Brick or other adaptations. The musical master of the house wishes. You see, the narrator takes us on a breakneck adaptation of III.VII: we open with III.VII.I "Il y a sous la construction sociale, cette merveille compliquée d'une masure—" and skip mid-breath to III.VII.II "—et il y aura, tant que l'ignorance ne sera pas dissipée, la grande caverne du mal," it is a charge through a very dense section of novel, and these are as far as I can be fucked to pick out all direct quotes until we get to the very end: "Avoir faim, avoir soif, c'est le point de départ; être—" Well, in the novel, Satan. In '72? "—Thénardier, c'est l'arrivée." The camera zooms in on Alain Mottet's best quivery stare; his beard is very bad. I am of several minds: on the one hand, if you don't know the original sentence culminates in Satan, you wouldn't think it's odd to find Thénardier, and it's perfectly possible the script writer was only thinking, I've got these badass lines but I really need my tv series to be a little more concrete than Hugolian, and Alain Mottet is more concrete than the Father of Lies. On the other hand: perhaps they're saying that the original text sees the outcome of all this to be the Catholic concept that is Satan, but they see it to be the concrete harmful/harmed individual human. Or, on a foot: '72 Thénardier is the fucking Devil. Whatever the case may be, in the Brick Thénardier does not even appear in III.VII—Hugo is talking about Patron Minette, and he's not a member. Given Thénardier's importance to this series, I don't mind this change at all.
After this really significant and interesting alteration to its source text '72 proceeds to decide Brujon is now a fifth main player in PM. lol, ok.
Nicole Jamet looks stoned off her gourd this entire series, with an expressive range from numbly dull to a ghastly blank smile. I hunted down clips of her in La piovra to see if this is her acting style overall, and while she's a little flat there as well, it's more in the line of being afraid to show a wrinkle and less whatever's happening in Les Misérables. Since it's paired with Georges Géret's Valiumjean I derive this is a directorial choice. It's our luck she only appears in, generously, 20 minutes of part II. I don't think I've ever wanted less Cosette in a LM adaptation, but she's such an unpleasant take on the character that I'd rather simply not.
I re-read IV.V.VI to see whether my harsh judgment of Nicole Jamet's performance in this scene was unfair—maybe Hugo also described Cosette as baked, I've been wrong before, and I won't blame an adaptation for fidelity. But, nah. Jamet more or less stands and stares, a little head shake here, a little lips parting there. In the novel, while we aren't given as much of Cosette's interiority as Marius' (thanks, Hugo) and we don't hear her voice at all as much (THANKS, Hugo), we see her first caught between two impulses: "Cosette, though ready to swoon, uttered no cry. She retreated slowly, for she felt herself attracted." and then a point of drama, "And she sank down as though on the point of death." I'm not saying you have to be howling and flailing your way through it, but c'mon, there's life to be found in this moment, and Jamet is a stiff. There is the issue that Marius monologues and we have zero idea in the novel of Cosette's actions during this time—a challenge, yes; one the film doesn't meet.
Now I'm being a petty bitch, but I don't like that they changed the exchange from "Vous m'aimez donc?" "Tais-toi! tu le sais!" to "Et vous, est-ce que vous m'aimez?" "Je t'aime." Please, let someone tell Marius "tais-toi". (To be clear, I think it unfair to expect an adaptation to completely follow the source text. but. y'know. If you're going to have this many direct quotes, maybe don't put in bland substitutions where your deeply invested viewership will notice them.)
Great adaptation of Gavroche and the mômes in this. The whole exchange around "monsieur, pourquoi vous avez pas un chat?" "j'en avais un, mais les souris l'ont mangé" kills me, it hits the pitch perfectly of the combined humor and horror of the situation.
In continued "Thénardier is the main character of '72" news, the scene in which he's saved from the top of the wall takes about four minutes—about a minute and a half more screentime than Marius and Cosette's first love confession. Not to get into the nitty-gritty of what this series cares about, or anything.
By the by, Claquesous rather than Montparnasse comes to fetch Gavroche, a small change that I suppose is irrelevant overall when the series doesn't have the time to draw the Montparnasse-as-future-Gavroche connection anyway, but which falls into this pattern '72 has of odd small alterations to Patron Minette.
Hermine Karagheuz's performance is uneven overall, in my opinion, but I could watch on a loop as she replies to Thénardier's "Faut bien qu'on vive, tout de même" with a raspy "Crevez". Having driven off the would-be thieves, she takes a few shuddering breaths, she collapses back against the gates with a gagging exhalation, she looks like she's going to be sick. Is it dramatic? Hell, yes. I'm into it.
We cut to Jamet, who cannot even fake weep.
I feel awkward that I've got nothing meaningful to say as we swing into revolution mode even though this is an essential pivot point in the series. Shrug emoji.
I have a very bad ear for French but one of the terms I can pick out reliably is now "mouchard". Thanks, Javert. I got nothin' deep to say still as he is uncovered at the barricade, but I did laugh when the revolutionaries steal his hat in the process of searching him. Did they think he was hiding something up there? Better check in his whiskers next.
This adaptation really suffers from the lack of Le Cabuc.
On my initial watch of this series the poetry recital wrecked my shit, here we have one man say "Do you remember our sweet life, when we were so young, we two, and we had in our hearts no other desire than to be well-dressed, and to be in love," another responds "We... We lived hidden away"———the combination of the stutter and the furtiveness, y'all, I did a double take, I knew fandom would've alerted me if there was explicit homosexuality in this, and still I had a moment when I thought I saw the ripples in a waving rainbow flag.
They pull directly from Hugo's aside about civil war in IV.XIII.III for Enjolras' speech—I'm not sure how often '72 actually puts narration into characters' mouths rather than into the narrator's, now that I think about it (would have to re-rewatch which isn't going to happen anytime soon). This is interesting to me; we have here a character who makes several speeches, all pertinent to the politics of revolution, and yet instead the show decides to have him recite—a passage which occurs in the inglorious context of Marius justifying to himself that he is fine to shed French blood when his father shed that of foreigners.
I'll come back for the final thirty minutes another time—that's enough for now.
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This is to explain about my fic. I recommend reading it first:
Because I put several Easter eggs, references, and other things you may didn't notice on the first reading.
I try to be careful here, with how/what I write - especially as I'm speaking about religious and culture I'm not a part of. Also, please consider that I don't speak Spanish and that English is a second language for me.
However, I tried to learn and educate myself. I tried looking for mexican writers, and looking more for what PEOPLE said, instead of researchers.
If I wronged anything, please let me know! I'm open to fixing and learning.
Short bits:
1. "His mom's culture" - I HC Katherine Todd as For this fic (and several others) I went with Mexican, because it worked better with my ideas.
2. "Santa Muerte" - Nuestra Señora de la Santa Muerte (Our Lady of Holy Death). Some celebrate her day on August 15th.
3. "Catrina" - refer to "La Calavera Catrina" ("The Dapper [female] Skull"). Hispanic version of Katherine.
4. "there are more things on heaven and earth"
5. Abchanchu.
6. la Llorona
7. wak-wak
8. Camazotz + "getting his head turned to a basketball"
9. "Say hi to the big guy for me"
10. He met his mother
11. "He wakes up... 6 months and 5 days later"
More detailed:
2. "As Señora de la Noche ("Lady of the Night"), she is often invoked by those exposed to the dangers of working at night, such as taxi drivers, bar owners, police, soldiers, and prostitutes. As such, devotees believe she can protect against assaults, accidents, gun violence, and all types of violent death."...
"Santa Muerte also has a saint's day, which varies from shrine to shrine. The most prominent is November 1... Others celebrate her day on August 15."
Another reason I focused on Santa Muerta was her being very important to the "lower classes". It works well with the way I see this universe and Urban fantasy. It actually got so long, I had to make it into a whole post.
3. "Catrina" is a version of 'Katherine' - that also means pure, unsullied. I HC her as an immigrant, and therefore wasn't probably originally called "Katherine" - but started using it in USA, as she try to 'blend in', or just as a preferred "mistaken name".
4. Shakespeare quote!
4.5. "crime ally attracts all sorts of beings" - I have a separate post about the worldbuilding.
5. Abchanchu - "a legendary Bolivian vampire who shapeshifts into the form of a helpless, elderly traveler. When a passerby offers to help him, Abchanchu victimizes him and drinks his blood" (wiki)
6. la Llorona - ("The Weeping Woman" or "The Wailer") is a Mexican mythical vengeful ghost who is said to roam near bodies of water mourning her children whom she drowned because they had no food.
7. wak-wak - "a vampiric, bird-like creature in Philippine mythology. It is said to snatch humans at night as prey".
Honestly? The moment I read about it, I was like - "yea, it's perfect for the worldbuilding". Why wouldn't people believe Batman is a wakwak? We have here the vampire features (bat), but also birdy, "snatch humans at night", cryptid.
(Another bonus? Remind me of the word "Witwat". If you read my fic "Witwat and the Jin" you understand why I associate it with Batman)
8. Camazotz - In the Late Post-Classic Maya mythology of the Popol Vuh, Camazotz is a bat spirit at the service of the lords of the underworld. Camazotz means "death bat" in the Kʼicheʼ language. In Mesoamerica generally, the bat is often associated with night, death, and sacrifice.
Do I have to explain?
*8. "getting his head turned to a basketball" - there's a story where the Maya hero-twins Hunahpu and Xbalanque go to the underworld. They have to stay for the night in 'the house of bats' and hide themselves inside their weapons. Hunahpu stuck his head out to see if it's day, and one of the bats snatch his head and hang it as a ball for the gods to play with.
(I hope I'm not too wrong here).
So, 1- kids like disgusting things. 2 - think about Kid!Jason, who grew up with this story in his head, being taken away by The Bat to HIS HOUSE. (He was probably terrified af).
9. "Say hi to the big guy for me" - a quote from the Joker. I built a tiny parallel here - it's the last thing he here before he dies (Joker) and before he re-lives (His mom).
10. I sort of use it as an anthropomorphism - I don't go into religion here. I see it as - faith and beliefs and community can turn into something. I see it as one face of Death, but also different. idk. I hope it's understandable.
11. Jason died on April 26/7th. He comes back to life on October 31/November 1st - AKA Día de los Muertos. But, as I understand, Mexican tradition has 2 days - November 1st honors the souls of children (día de los angelitos), and November 2nd remembers the souls of adults.
So - Jason, on the edge of adulthood, comes back to life on the day of the angels, but crawls out of his grave on the day of the adults.
[better explanation:
and with photos: https://danestrom.com/dia-de-los-angelitos-remembering-children-day-dead/ ]
#batman#jason todd#red hood#crime alley#resurrection#Camazotz#Abchanchu#la Santa Muerte#La Calavera Catrina#mythology#mexico#Latino jason todd#Día de los Muertos#día de los angelitos#fic recs#fic analayzis#my writing
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A cute guy likes me on a dating app. After chatting with them for weeks, we decide to go on a date. They are very flirtatious and forward over the app, but not when we meet in person. He admits he thought I was transmasc like him, we laugh about it because his mistake is funny and means I'm not passing but in a silly backwards way. I think his sudden awkwardness in person may be nervousness and flirt with him in ways less forward and aggressive than he'd been flirting with me earlier, and they become cold and distant for the rest of the date. By the time I get home they've blocked me on the app we met on. This case of being mistaken as a transmasc on a dating app will happen 3 more times, and in 2/3 times it results in a similar sudden lack of interest where once they were coming on to me. None of these people will be cis.
I am in a self defense class for queer people, learning hand to hand combat as a community. I have been here months. I notice I'm the only transfem in the classes but there are other trans people there so I don't think much of it. Today I have some stubble as I did not have time to shave before the early morning class. When discussing unrealistic action movie and anime fight scenes I describe on of my favorites, quoting the lines as I pantomime the goofy moves. They smile and laugh along until the word bitch leaves my lips in one quote, then the bisexual woman who only ever they/thems me glares at me like I've committed a grevious crime, and the rest of the class looks at me like a freak in awkward silence for a moment before moving on. I learn bitch is not a word a clocky bitch can "reclaim". I am quiet in classes now, and when I go I focus primarily on the training, when I see other trans women try it out they often give me a sad look and do not return for a second class. I get a sinking feeling that if I ever use this training to save my life one day I'd be branded a violent man instead of a strong woman.
I am texting with a good friend of years who was one of the people who helped me realize I was trans like them and even the one who helped pick out my name loves talking about our shared interests and sharing their favorite smut with me. We bond over favorite stories, artists, characters, and kinks as well as our trans experience. Yet they constantly tell me they could never date someone who's AMAB because of the trauma of being "female socialized" and their genital preferences for vulvas. Every compliment they have ever given me on my appearance or outfit is followed up by "but in a non-sexual way, I could never date you". Today I finally have the courage tell them they don't need to say that every time. They ignore this response. We keep talking for awhile, but they start taking months to respond to my messages and respond with a short sentence at most. They no longer share details about their life and shut me out when I ask or share details about mine, even the most mundane and chaste details. I stop talking to them. A birthday gift I bought them months before this falling out happened looms at me in my closet. I cannot use it as it doesn't fit me but can't bring myself to throw it away, just in case we reconcile one day. I feel pathetic for craving friendship with someone who sees me as "abuser-bodied", that so much of my early stages would've been impossible without their help. I feel a little more lost without them.
I am at a queer/trans/enby kink dance party with some friends. I am scantily clad and wearing a skirt and high heeled boots. I do not pass well so this space is one of the few places I feel safe and free dressing like this. It is packed with queer and trans people just like me engaged in delightful debauchery and wearing very little. The music hurts my ears but I'm happy to be here, I feel overstimulated but alive and authentic. I am approached by a beautiful stranger from across the dance floor, she is graceful and stylish, like some modern Galadriel clad in leather, white lace, and industrial piercings with impeccable voice training. She compliments my outfit, I compliment hers. She tells me I need to shave my armpits if I want to look like a real woman. My two friends stand up for me and yell at her. They assure me she was just being an asshole, that women were supposed to be hairy, but I can't help but notice how both of them have hairy armpits and yet the "advice" targeted me. The wide range of bodies that people here tonight find desirable on cis women don't seem to apply to the women like me. I am the only one of us that doesn't go home with a hookup at the end of the night. I realize now she likely spoke from experience. I am still hurt by her words, but realizing the kinds of experiences she must have had herself to feel her words were kind advice hurts far worse.
A local queer photographer who's work I follow is looking for women & non-binary models for a photoshoot. I have become comfortable with getting photos taken of me for the first time in my life since my egg cracked, and had a few small time modeling gigs under my belt. With something like this I could actually have the beginnings of a portfolio. I reach and am told that they are not looking for trans women models, "only women and AFABs". Getting the same line I get from agencies from an independent queer photographer repackaged in "woke" terminology stings. I see many queer and nonbinary models I looked up to take part in the shoot. I have to wonder if they knew that the photographer's definition of woman didn't include trans women, or if like me in my martial arts class they noticed no transfems were there but didn't think much of it because there were other trans people there.
It is years ago and I am still an egg. I am with my partner of 4 years. I am exhausted after a long day. She asks me for sex in the voice that I know means saying no will hurt her. I learned from her long ago men have high and insatiable sex drives, therefore saying no meant I wanted to have sex, just not with her. So I say yes. The sex is painful and unsatisfying, and I simply do my best to thrust through the discomfort until she cums. I feel numb and hurt. She enjoys herself but seems sad I did not cum. I assure her I love her. When we hold eachother after my obligation has been met and I finally feel comfortable and safe. We begin talking. She talks about the trashy women she saw on the street today, describing their cringe outfits and ugly styles and bad hair. All the styles and clothes and hair I yearn to try myself in my deepest and most repressed desires. I change the subject and ask her about work and family. She asks if I'd still love her if she were a man and I say yes. She says she would still love me if I were a woman. Something in that statement feels like a lie. It is months later when we break up and I move out. Now that I am a woman I look back and know from our years together that if I were a woman then she'd hate the kind of woman I'd become. That if I were a woman she'd still have the same expectations of me as a man, that her refusal of sex equated an impersonal not being in the mood but my refusal of sex equated a cruel refusal of love.
A lesbian group begins organizing a queer woman's strip night event. A safe place for amateur performers to shine and women to perform and enjoy sexuality away from the male gaze. I see no transfems in the promotional material or leadership team, and I've learned not to think nothing of it just because there are other trans people there. I do not go.
I am talking with my therapist. They are trans too and an amazing therapist, often providing insights and advice only someone else with the lived experience of being trans can. I express distress and suicidal ideation at the fact I feel like I need to pass before I can dress the way I want. That until I get expensive hair removal procedures and FFS I can never feel safe and welcome presenting authentically. I lament how these things are expensive and may never be accessible to me. They tell me I need to deal with my "internalized transphobia", as if these feelings aren't a result of constant rejection and othering by external forces even within queer spaces. As if the scrap of womanhood others sometimes acknowledge in me does not rely on their perceptions of me.
There is a publication accepting works from trans people of all stripes to document trans experiences. It gets flamed for not having a single transfem as a contributor. The people behind it apologize profusely, they say didn't notice no transfems had sent work in and would do a sequel publication that was transfem-centric. I wonder if anyone had noticed there were no transfems but didn't think much of it because there were other trans people there. I think about the kinds of spaces I've seen like that, and the implications it has about how they treat transfems, and I am unsurprised no transfems submitted.
One of my closest friends for years is very supportive of me when I first begin crossdressing and experimenting with they/them pronouns. She gives me suggestions on cute clothes to wear and takes me shopping as well as asks for pictures. We had helped eachother discover we were both queer as young teens, come to terms with it, and navigate it in a hostile environment, so I have complete trust. We are close enough we are frequently asking eachother advice on serious life choices & relationships, sending nudes for critique + tips before sending them to our partners, and sharing our most secret and vulnerable moments. She often asks me for tips on getting her straight boyfriends into pegging and crossdressing that make me slightly uncomfortable but I don't mind, she is a loyal friend I would endure a great many discomforts for. I host a lunch for us one day, and come out to her as a trans woman. I tell her my new name, say I no longer use he/him pronouns, and thank her for her support on my journey thus far. She launches into a monologue about how by changing my name I am throwing away all our memories together and spitting in the face of my family. Taken aback by her sudden heel turn after being so supportive of me being nonbinary and GNC, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom to get a break and give her some time to process. When I am in the bathroom trying not to cry, she is on the phone. I overhear her misgendering me as she is talking about me being bisexual in a frightened voice. She sounds truly afraid that I intend to be sexually violent towards her. When I leave the bathroom and sit back down I pretend not to have heard. She gets off the phone, saying she was just chatting with her boyfriend. We talk a bit longer, she explains how "the surgery" is dangerous and experimental and she hopes I won't get it. I assure her I won't and do my best to change the subject and hope she comes around after some time to process things, hurt and shocked that what I saw as a natural shift in the path I was already on marked me as frightening in her eyes after knowing eachother for over a decade. That a fellow bisexual suddenly saw my bisexuality as dangerous now that I was asserting myself as a trans woman. I say goodbye to her, and she says goodbye to me using my deadname, I do not risk an argument to correct her. It is months after the meeting we have not seen eachother since and she has not responded to any messages I sent. After reflecting on her reaction further I decide that I don't really want to spend time with someone who thinks these things about me for my own safety and mental health, regardless of our history. A friend of 14 years who supported my queerness and transness gone the instant I crossed an intangible woman-shaped line that marked me as a predator and invader in her eyes.
I log online and day after day see trans women getting banned and harassed. Seeing baseless callout posts calling them groomers and abusers getting taken seriously by other queer and trans people. Seeing proof that deep down so many people I consider kindred spirits see me and people like me as worthy of intense scrutiny and policing to keep "the queer community" safe and united. The blocklist grows but everything stays the same. I treasure the people in my life who don't take part in this and would do anything for them, but it seems they get fewer each time.
I'm not making this post to seek sympathy, I am used to this kind of shit and far worse has happened to myself and others. I just make this to illustrate transmisogyny is not some "online-only" issue like people claim. Even if online issues weren't "real" (as healed is fond of saying, "online is real") this has tangible effects in the way trans women are treated offline as well. By communities, friends, partners, colleagues, systems, etc. That's why we talk about it.
So much of the discussions people have paint transmisogyny as some online oppression olympics maliciously trying to divide the community, smear transmascs, and "reinvent bioessentialism". That is not what it is about. Discussions about transmisogyny is about how we are treated for being what we are, and while related to transphobia and misogyny it is seperate because it often represents doors other trans people and women can walk through that transfems cannot. It has affected me in my most intimate moments when I was with other trans and queer people I felt safe around, and taught me that I need to carefully manage my persona and presentation at all times lest my authenticity be branded "male socialization". I am even terrified to express attraction to people who express attraction towards me because I'm so used to being treated like a predator upon reciprocating or being used and abandoned by people I trusted. I am terrified to be too excited about shared interests with friends lest I be too loud or talkative about it and branded with aggressive male socialization. So I make myself quiet and small, and shrink from the community and people I care about, and become more and more isolated.
Anyways, stop platforming anons who spread lies about trans women, stop hopping on TERF harassment campaigns because the trans gal they're smearing "gave you bad vibes", and maybe consider carefully if in your own life where you draw the line for a transfem's behavior is any different from where you'd draw the line for anyone who's not one
#the owl house#across the spiderverse#succession#welcome home#wally darling#the mandalorian#ted lasso#taylor swift#super mario#star wars
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I may be mistaken and way out of place but I’m trying to find a certain klamon art piece and maybe you can help. I know it’s based around the “Stockholm syndrome” fic and it’s only one image, would you happen to know what I’m talking about? It’s an amazing piece
Hi :)
Do you mean a picture I used to make the aesthetic for the mentioned fic? If so was it a picture of something or a quote?
Those are the ones I used in that aesthetic,I don't know if you mean them but if not just tell me ^^
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MCR hot take: People are too damn obsessive and presumptuous about Gerard's gender and sexuality, especially since he's publicly said he doesn't like labels or want them applied to him. I'm pretty sure that most of the serious speculation/theories people come out with are projection, and I'm not sure that some people get that an actual human being can't be put into whatever specific representation mold they want. Gerard doesn't exist for that purpose; he's not a blank slate to project onto (and get in fights over) just bc he's private about it. His own personal gender and sexuality, whatever they may be, are his business, and imo (speaking as a person who's more or less rejected gender for myself but doesn't like talking about it either) there's something kind of uncomfortable about the determination some folks have to specifically categorize him, especially when they're trying to justify it with some random out of context quote or the like. It's one thing when the person is being unserious, but there's definitely people who are very serious about it and I don't like that.
I agree with what you're saying, but I also think this approach to the topic has calmed down a considerable amount where complaining about it is almost beating a dead horse at this point in time. Though, I do think that the normalization of very invasive think-peice type posting about Gerard has kind of had lasting effects in terms of what people are comfortable explicitly implying about him. I definitely agree with what you're saying about viewing him as a blank slate. I can't say I am completely immune to this myself lol sometimes I really have to think to myself about why I care so much about ensuring Gerard fits exactly into the mold I have mentally created for him that also just so happens to be extremely relatable to myself.
I think a lot of initial conversation around their gender started because general ignorance, meaning lack of knowledge, of what Gerard has said in the past regarding being gender non conforming was mistaken as lack of acceptance? Also there was a period of time where you could not tag a photo of Gerard in a dress as "gerard way" without the risk of actual transphobes calling him a pedo in the replies. Which I do think affected the insistence in the trans label by fans to an understandable extent. I think the issue came in when there was more in-fighting where general concern over invasive posting was misinterpreted as transphobes being transphobic.
As for what you said about how it personally affected you - I kinda get it, I do, but I also feel like I saw a lot of people posting similar mindsets with the argument "stop calling Gerard a milf, I'm gnc and I hate that" which kinda assumes everyone of the same gender completely agrees on acceptable terms. It just never made sense to me, personally. Like, I personally relate to Gerard's approach at gender expression a lot but I am able to recognize we are different people. Gerard has referred to himself as "girl" multiple times before so I don't think using the gay she & her in the appropriate context is the end of the world.
Ultimately, yes I agree seeking out precise labels when none of this is our business is probably not the best thing to do.
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Diệu's Thoughts on Obihiro Division
Hisoka Tetsumasu
"Ah, Mr. Horse Breeder. Or so, he'd like to call himself. Honestly, the Triad has had tabs on him since his previous work with ENAN. ...What, surprised I know about that? You vastly underestimate the Triad's information network. How else do you think so many Japanese weapons ended up in Hong Kong? It's actually because of his group that we were one of the first to get our hands on a Hypnosis Microphone, albeit an illegal one."
"And not to quote my dear leader, Alexis, Mr. Horse Breeder, but if your intention was to keep a low profile, you really should have done more to keep yourself hidden. Changing up your appearance may fool some people. But unfortunately for you, most of the people in this D.R.B. are not some people."
Daiki Kamiyama
"I'm so proud of Alexis! I never thought she'd actually manage to snag herself a little fanboy! Usually, I'm the one that's popular with children. But I have no problem sharing the love now and then. I'm actually a bit surprised he's shown no interest in me. But then again, he is still just a child. Better to let him live in his imaginary world for a little bit longer."
"Aside from that, I did some digging up on him. Apparently, he's the last child of a famous and prestigious family from the UK. The Kamiyamas, if I'm not mistaken. His brothers have actually purchased some of my jewelry online, I think. Glad to see my work is attracting such a high clientele."
Jack Verrill
"Last but not least, the butler. ...Ha, is that as cliche as it sounds? A butler joining a rap tournament? This D.R.B. just pulls out all kinds, doesn't it? ...Of course, he's not entirely just a butler, are you, Mr. Verrill? Yes, I know you're not entirely what you seem. In fact, it wouldn't entirely be inaccurate to say that you are just like me and my teammates, aren't you? You are here for some other purpose. I've no doubt that you hold some sort of affection for your charge, but at the end of the day, he's just a mission, isn't he?"
"Oh, don't misunderstand. I'm not judging. After all, we all have our own masks to hide. Some more than others. I just want to make sure that our goals and missions don't intersect with each other. As long as you assure that, you've absolutely nothing to worry about from me. I promise."
Veiled Vanguard
"Ha, as I mentioned earlier, this rap tournament is just drawing a wide variety of people to Japan, isn't it? A former black-market dealer, a young heir to a prestigious family, and a butler who is not what he seems to be. Quite a team-up, wouldn't you say? As far as the team, itself, goes, I've no real issue with any of them. ...In fact, if the horse breeder and butler are up for it, I'd like to offer them both a job when this is over. The Triad could always use more people like you in its ranks. Give that a thought and hit me back, if you don't mind."
#hypmic#hypmic oc#hypnosis mic#hypnosis mic oc#hypnosis microphone#arakawa division#sounds of silence#hoàng diệu#obihiro division#veiled vanguard#hisoka tetsumasu#daiki kamiyama#jack verrill
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I think the show wants to make Aemond into some byronic hero.
Yeah, well, they're failing. Byronic heroes are not stupidly arrogant and (for the most part) have very rich interiorities.
Book!Aemond fashions himself into a blade that cuts its own owner many times because he feels his male privilege justifies it and he tries to feel superior to the seconds-son status that he has. Nothing more, nothing less.
These are traits of a Byronic hero/the inspiration of an anti-hero and their subsequent derivatives (bullet points are actually semi-direct quotes from website, plz don't assume I'm this eloquent):
usually male (though there may be some rare female examples) and is almost always considered very attractive physically (at least in the most popular ones, forget Jane Eyre for a sec) and in terms of personality -> possessing a great deal of magnetism and charisma, using these abilities to achieve social dominance and passionate romance. One mark against them (personality-wise), however, is a struggle with his own personal integrity.
very intelligent, perceptive, sophisticated, educated, cunning and adaptable, but also self-centered.
emotionally sensitive, which may translate into being emotionally conflicted, bipolar, or moody.
intensely self-critical and introspective and may be described as dark and brooding. He dwells on the pains or perceived injustices of his life, often to the point of over-indulgence. May muse philosophically on the circumstances that brought him to this point, including personal failings.
cynical, world-weary, and jaded, often due to a mysterious Dark and Troubled Past, which, if uncovered, may reveal a significant loss, or a past misdeed which still haunts him, or, conversely, that he may be suffering from an injury committed against him.
extremely passionate, with strong personal beliefs which are usually in conflict with the values of the status quo. He sees his own values and passions as above or better than those of others, manifesting as arrogance or a martyr-like attitude. Sometimes, however, he just sees himself as one who must take the long, hard road to do what must be done.
has an intense drive and determination to live out his philosophy without regard to others' philosophies produce conflict, and may result in a tragic end, should he fail, or revolution, should he succeed. Because of this, he is very rebellious, having a distaste for social institutions and norms and is disrespectful of rank and privilege, though he often has said rank and privilege himself. This rebellion often leads to social isolation, rejection, or exile, or to being treated as an outlaw, but he won't compromise, being unavoidably self-destructive.
All of these describe Daemon more than they do Aemond.
People, I find, often mistake the Byronic hero as no-good, self-centered, destructive -- maybe even just what some would call a simple sociopath/psychopath -- and that’s all. But that describes canon Aemond.
However, the Byronic hero is supposed to be a person who intentionally, unintentionally, or feels they must go against popular culture in many ways and does so passionately. They will fight or resist hard to keep whatever they hold dearest.
What belief does Aemond have? Custom, duty, and strength above all, especially male entitlement. Aemond’s “interiority” is taken and mistaken as something “deep” when all it is misogyny and the need to constantly prove his own manhood/strength.
Which tells me that Ryan Condal and other HotD writers has never really read a British Gothic novel, especially one a woman wrote.
Edit #1: Daemon's brooding comes from:
Viserys' distrust and suspicion and exclusion of him despite Daemon's loyalty, then trusting in Otto Hightower over him
the conflict of loving the same brother and supporting him while also wanting to carve out a space in society and history based on his own merits outside of 2nd-son/spare status (being seen as fit for the heir position is a part of that)
being forced into a marriage he sees as neither advantageous to the Targs (I think bc Viserys already had Aemma) nor befitting him --Rhea Royce reminiscent of his family's sidelining him
This is in detail in the post I linked when I noted that the conventional Byronic hero traits fitted Daemon more and way less for Aemond.
#aemond targaryen#hotd critical#asoiaf asks to me#hotd comment#aemond's characterization#anti hero#byronic hero#daemon Targaryen#daemon and aemond#daemon vs aemond#daemon's characterization#hotd writing#ryan condal#definitions#hotd
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Personal Gnosis
I've spoken about Personal Gnosis before (what you may know as Unverified Personal Gnosis, or UPG) -- and I guess before that, too. Please note I am rejecting that terminology these days, and have moved on to simply calling UPG, "PG" which to me makes so much more sense.
After a recent post that essentially touched on it a third time, I was presented with a couple of articles (which I had already read thankfully, but I did re-read them) and asked to comment on them. To be fair, I really dislike getting in-depth on microblogging platforms like Mastodon, but I did make a response I felt it was important to share in a larger format location.
Trying to compare human actions, such as watching a movie (as an example given by the author) or listening to a lecture or what have you, to spirituality is a very tight rope to walk. You cannot realistically compare these events to spirituality, and the reason is simple: movies and lectures are objective and can be seen and verified by many people and tested scientifically. They are clear, solid, observable occurrences which cannot be disputed even if only a minute amount of evidence exists (because that evidence will often be concrete, like video, or multiple people in separate locations being able to attest to an event, or some other testable means).
But no matter how much we'd like to think so, there is unfortunately no part of the divinity aspects of spirituality that is objective. None. Zero. You don't have to like it, or even believe it, for this to be true. Afterall, if we had objective evidence that could be tested, there wouldn't be any debates about spirituality to begin with. The only evidence we have for spirituality, that anyone has now or has ever had for spirituality, is subjective.
Everything about relationships with the Gods is subjective and personal, at every point in human history.
The only difference between what one person believes, and what many people believe, is that people may come together and agree that their individual personal experiences matched up closely enough (and keep in mind, human minds are easily swayed, particularly in groups, into believing things that may be partial or non truths, we see it every single day), or if a single person convinced others that their personal, unique, individual experiences made sense for everyone else (also happens quite frequently).
I don't want anyone to misunderstand what I'm saying: I agree with the author in saying no one is 'obligated' to believe their own PG, and that self-assessment, introspection, and analysis of one's own PG is critical, and necessary. That's the discernment part. However, at some point in human history, someone communicated their own PG to others, and the others agreed with that PG as their experiences as well (be that because they felt they experienced it, or because they simply agreed with the stream of consciousness at the time), and it became "religion" or "a spiritual path".
That doesn't change the fact that the original experience, or experiences, are PG.
The author says, and I quote: "And if my PG goes against the lore directly, am I to assume that somehow those many thousands of people over thousands of years were all somehow misled or mistaken and yet I alone have the right of it?" To which I would reply: 'many thousands of people' still boil back down to a single instance or set of instances in human history. Many of us as Polytheists, Pagans, and the like would say, as an example, that Christian religion today is wrong in many aspects, but that doesn't stop millions of people from believing it. And as for presuming the Gods were 'lying' to others but not to ourselves... who said anything about lies?
The human brain is complicated, along with the mind that goes with it (the brain being physical, the mind being more metaphysical). This isn't about calling anyone a liar but rather understanding how our minds are fallible creatures. The Gods don't need to be fallible (although I do not feel they are infallible either, to be clear, I do believe Gods can make mistakes) for a human mind to be incapable of grasping what is actually happening on a spiritual or divine level, because we are fallible, always.
That is why I trust my own mind more than I trust the masses, any day of the week.
It doesn't stop the lore (I love this word, and if you're a fan of Game Theory, you probably do too), or the PG of others (be that single or en-masse) from being important. But it does mean we need to stop considering our own personal experiences to be nil in the eyes of what essentially becomes "religion". That's a very "mainstream Big 3 religion" kind of mindset, and last I checked, we're literally trying not to be that in many cases. Or at least I am.
All of this is why I dislike the term "Unverified" in what we call "UPG". I also reject the idea of "Verified Personal Gnosis" because again, the idea of "Verified" is that it matches up with "history", but in and of itself that makes assumptions that all ideas from individual throughout history, fallible people and minds in the past, are somehow infallible.
So for me, we have Personal Gnosis, and Shared Personal Gnosis, and I still maintain that anything else is doing our own personal existence a grave disservice.
A good follow-up point from a friend (not verbatim): What happens when people try to make their own Personal Gnosis a matter of 'everyone's' Personal Gnosis, eg: "My relationship with x-God(s) is defined in y-way and said God(s) don't like any other way". For this, there's a difference between a personal gnosis that is your own, that you share with the caveat that "this is just between me and my gods", vs. one you try to force on others, that I will agree with.
In this case, it isn't PG that's the problem, but rather a case of bad personal behaviour. Trying to force one person's ideas onto others is never the correct plan of action, and the way we speak and state things carries importance. If we fuck that up, that's yet another example of fallible human behaviour, which feeds back into the whole reason I do not agree there exists any kind of "VPG". Instead, we simply congregate our PG together where it works (Shared personal Gnosis), and not where it doesn't.
That's how it would work in an ideal world, but sadly the world is not ideal, and we have many dissonant voices, some who like to project more than others. Still, UPG is used far too much as a sour connotation, and it is extremely distasteful for me, so I'm happy to give the terminology the boot.
#upg#unverified personal gnosis#personal gnosis#blog#spirituality#religion#polytheism#paganism#divinity#god#gods
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