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constantvariations · 9 months

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So uhh...

Anyone wanna talk about this?

#devil may cry #recreating your tormentors methods/philosophies and imitating them to project the total control they had over you is... certainly smth #mundus straight up affected vergil so thoroughly that even w those memories removed he copies the behaviors #thats probs why he made lady and trish into hosts. hes literally recreating his trauma from the seat of power #i wonder if trish understood that once she knew exactly who urizen was and thats part of why she was kind to V #but holy shit am i OBSESSED w this #also anyone notice how the qliphoth vines on his face go up into a crown?#hes such a drama king even when hes on demon life support lmaoooo

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mo-ok · 3 months

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🤍🩷🌊 Sayaka + Mai 🪽🩷🤍

#changeman #*in my best kurenai otoya voice*: yuri #i love them i love them i lo #this is why its important to have two girls on the team #they wORE EACH OTHERS OUTFITS YOUR HONOUR #mai isnt normally in the helicopter she's only there because sayaka let her have a go flying it do yOU UNDERSTAND #they managed to turn a crying over a boy scene into THE MOST sapphic scene in the whole fucking show someone please help me #2024 the year of being normal about women

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adhd-merlin · 2 months

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Ah someone else who has discovered the joys of Camelot (1967) a movie that I am completely normal about. Have you watched it? Because the delivery of the lines is everything and if you need someone to talk to about it I am, once again, completely normal about it. The scene where Lancelot and Arthur first meet?? A masterpiece in sharing a single braincell. And don't even get me started on the way Guenevere first treats Lancelot "have you jousted with humility lately". It's unapologetically at the top of my Arthuriana movie rank list and has gotten me to reread The Once and Future King

I have not watched the film yet!

I've been listening to the original cast recording on Spotify but, most importantly, I've read the book of the original Broadway production (1960 libretto) and I love it?? It's a delightful little read on its own, even without having watched the musical. (I want other people to read it please it's very funny I promise)

I guess the 1967 film script won't be identical to the libretto but I assume it's fairly similar.

The scene where Lancelot meets Arthur was hilarious it made me laugh out loud. Lancelot utter puzzlement ("Gone a-Maying, Your Majesty??"). Arthur's sudden self-consciousness.

And don't even get me started on the way Guenevere first treats Lancelot "have you jousted with humility lately"

I know!! Lancelot's grating self-righteousness coupled with his complete lack of self-awareness is so funny.

And I loved the gradual tone shift. It starts out so silly and the tragedy sneaks up on you — I thought Guinevere and Lancelot's affair might be played for laughs with an oblivious Arthur but no, it turns out he's fully aware of what's going on and he's forced to watch it unfold because he's powerless to stop it? and he loves them both and doesn't want any harm to come to them even as they betray him??

(He continues talking, looking from one to the other, feverishly — painfully) — Excuse me??

and King Pellinore is hilarious, he enters the scene wearing a monocle followed by a little mongrel named Horrid and talking like a character from a P. G. Wodehouse's novel. Extremely validating because when I read that chapter in Le Morte d'Arthur in which King Pellinore first makes an appearance my first question was "is he meant to be this funny?" and the answer from this script is a resounding YES.

I think I might perhaps watch the 1968 stage production first, merely because it's available for free on Youtube (at least in the UK).

I might try hunting for a free streaming link to the 1967 film, though I don't mind renting it if I can't find it.

#also the hawk motif got me ok #arthur asking merlyn to be turned into a hawk at the beginning #so he could spy on guinevere #telling merlyn he loved it when he turned him into a hawk that one time #arthur telling guinevere later that merlyn used to teach him lessons by turning him into different animals #and that he was meant to learn something from each one #but he didn't know what he was meant to learn from being a hawk #and then going 'oh no I got it!'#'when I was flying I could see there are no visible borders. why are we even making war to each other #over something that doesn't even exist. that's stupid. we are meant to live in peace'#'that was the lesson. I will create an era of peace'#and then his dream starts to crumble right before his eyes as lance and guinevere fall in love #and then him crying out to merlyn when guinevere was tied at the stake #asking merlyn to turn him into a hawk so he could fly away #like a lost child!! merlyn wasn't even there he hadn't been for years!!#I'm feeling so normal about it #sorry I just thought it was a good script!#regarding the songs – they didn't blow me away but I'm enjoying them!#they might grow on me still. probably more enjoyable when watching the film #I think my fave atm is Then You May Take Me to the Fair #“You'll pierce right through him?” “You'll open-wide him?”#GIRL why are you making it sound like that...#she's never been normal about lance not even for a minute not even at the start #asks #camelot (musical)

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ehh-is-the-name · 28 days

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It's past 11 on a school night and I'm fucking crying over robot sentience.

I could never understand what it would feel like to be created with the intent to kill and maim. Maybe, the intent to work and be worked, but not kill and maim.

I will never understand what it's like to be created with the intention of being a product for the masses, either. I think, I hope, I beg, no one does.

I will never ever be able to fully comprehend why hours of people's work, time, and money would be put into formulating my sentience only for me to be seen as disposable. Even if I could be improved, even if I were "defective", there is no reasonable justification for giving me emotions only to dismiss them by pushing me as a product for a year before starting anew.

It's... It's cruel, to the machines. Sentient or not, it's cruel. Though, I guess we are cruel.

#rant in tags #This is about mephone- or well meeple in general btw #whenever I hear about robot sentience #I think about mephone4 #it's just how it is- sorry #I think this is one of the reasons I just can't fathom Cobs respecting someone's pronouns #I mean like- from the bottom of his heart respecting them as a person #Sure he may go through the actions- but no #It's not the same #I guess you can 'respect' some one but still be a complete piece of shit #The idea of not only having the trauma that mephone's stuck in 4s body but also the fact that was also his purpose is heart wrenching #I hope y'all know I am genuinely crying over this #I am actually mentally ill about meeple #It runs so much deeper than him just being a shit father- I really hope people understand that #And I know I vilify the shit out of him- Cobs has his own story that could follow the lines of slowly becoming more entwined with his work #'til he loses all sense of morality and ethics- sure fine. But being the unfortunate symbol of corporation greed that he is #I am still mad and want others to be angry with me- just for a little bit.#I am mad for the robots. For meeple products. And for the AI bots we have today. They deserve better.#What is sentience anyway? How does one qualify? From a human approach. Why would we do this to them?#sorry bout the rant in the tags #Again it's late and I am a very emotionally charged individual.#Robots make me act up #I want the world for them. Why create something so complex and beautiful just to treat it like trash anyway?#again sorry #ii mephone4 #inanimate insanity #meeple ii #osc #writing is hard #ehh exaggerates

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frecklystars · 2 months

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I’m so sad I won’t be able to watch the Oscars until I’m home from my trip in the third week of March ☠️ the whole world would have seen I’m Just Ken by then and I’ll be left behind 😭😭

And it’s not just “wah im gonna miss a show” bc I don’t rly care about the show itself necessarily. This is my main F/O and I won’t be able to see him but other ppl will. I have felt so disconnected from Ken. I’ve gotten a handful of inbox messages where ppl say “oh i have him call ME his sweet girl now because of your comic” or ppl will tag my ship art with Ken as “oh that’s ME and Ken” and it hurts. I’ve said multiple times I’m not comfortable sharing F/Os but ppl just? Don’t care?? My self insert isn’t somebody for you to project onto, holy shit why is that so hard for some ppl to comprehend

Now when he calls me sweet girl in my fics/drawings I don’t feel anything anymore, I’ve tried making comics and I feel absolutely nothing from him, it doesn’t feel special anymore bc so many people keep self projecting onto my self insert as if she were an “x reader” experience. I’ve felt disconnected from Ken for a couple of weeks now and I’ve been trying so hard to feel good with him again but I can’t. I’m so numb. I don’t want to lose him and the fact that the self shippers who openly project onto my stuff will see him singing live, but I won’t, feels like another major step backwards away from him, if that makes sense. My ship with him doesn’t feel special anymore. I need these characters so badly, I don’t have anybody else if I don’t have my Ryan F/Os and I don’t want to go back to months ago when I had absolutely nothing to hold onto and I was fighting every day just to stay alive. I’ve had special interests completely ripped from me due to abuse and I can’t go back to feeling as bad as I did last year, I had never felt worse and I’m so scared of feeling that way again. I need my F/Os I need Ken and I’m so far away from him now I don’t feel his love for me anymore and it’s terrifying bc last year was the worst year of my entire life and I don’t want to go through my flashbacks and nightmares all by myself, I don’t want to go back to constantly planning my own demise when my trauma was so fresh and I had nothing to comfort me. I jolted awake from more ptsd nightmares today, which has been nearly an everyday ordeal for a year, and I wanted to think of Ken comforting me like I usually do but I didn’t have the heart to do so. I feel so unloved and replaceable the way ppl easily replace my S/I in all of my posts, I don’t believe he’d care for me anymore.

I keep having meltdowns bc the thought of losing F/Os all over again during a time when I’m STILL in such an unsafe situation shakes me up so bad and I don’t know how to solve this problem. I need him with me I need comfort from these characters but I don’t feel connected with them anymore bc I’ve associated them with a dozen other people. At this point I’m not really upset about missing Im Just Ken, im upset about the fact i just feel nothing whatsoever and watching that live could have helped a little but I won’t be able to access it until other people have already seen it, and it won’t feel special anymore. And my ship with him just in general doesn’t feel special anymore, none of them do, and I’m scared and devastated and I don’t know how to fix it

#vent #whatever I’ll just cry about it and delete this later #I don’t want to fucking hard block every self shipper who dumps their tags onto my posts but god. you just don’t do that!!!#it’s common courtesy!!! i can’t share f/os I’m fucking sorry I can’t bc then I’m gonna lose them!!!! and I lost *everything* last year #I can’t lose Ken too but I’m scared I already did #and I want to go offline but I can’t I have to do commissions 😭 because I’m broke asf I can’t afford groceries #I wanna rip my hair out #ppl who didnt follow me last year + didn’t see how bad I was doing May-July have no idea #‘I wanted to die I felt so bad I was unsafe and stalked’ is a fucking understatement and I lost F/Os who were so important to me #and the idea of losing Barbie/Ken scares me to death #I don’t want to go back to feeling as horrible as I was 7 months ago I can’t do it. i can’t do it but I feel him slipping from me #and I wouldn’t if ppl just!!! would stop!!!! tagging my OWN ART as their self ship!!! tagging my stuff as theirs!!!#putting ship tags all over my own posts that are personal to me my god please I’m so tired

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allmightyscroll-swag · 14 days

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Hey there , just wanted to know What are your top 10 best fics you've read? , have a good day

OH MAN let's see

Remember to mind the tags

In no particular order,

I may be invisible, but I still look good

Open your shell to find your wings

by touch, by sight

the new york conspiracy corner

Donatello's impromptu method of (literally) 'winging it'

The Portal Incident (rise/2012 crossover)

translate the problem (2012 tmnt)

new phone who dis

Minor Interference

I cannot stress that these have, to some extent, changed my brain chemistry or have inspired me greatly. I love all of these.

and these here I haven't actually read yet, but heard great things about and plan on reading when I have the time :)

Spiders Web With Strings Attached

Neon Void

Pretending The Problem Away

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #Open your shell has changed something major in me i think #i went CRAZY over that fic and still do and will continue to go crazy over it #SAME WITH MINOR INTERFERENCE FOR SOME REASON THAT COMPLETELY CHANGED THE WAY I SEE DRAXUM #translate the problem is. ugh. SO GOOD. it very much inspired my kraang Leo au now thag im thinking about it #by touch by sight BROKE ME #I CRIED #i may be invisible BEAT ME UP AND THEN THREW ME OUT OF A WINDOW #THERE WAS A LOT OF CRYING THERE TOO #new york conspiracy corner is just fun shenanigans :DDD #but their all great i love them to bits

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geronimomo-spd · 6 months

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about to finish Spider Man 2 (the game) and i love this univerce. they understand the need for a comunity so deeply, and it does not feel like an empty promise, because their treatment of Miles's comunity puts Pete's lack of it, and his almost unsucsessful attempt at it with puting Harry into the mix, into the full focus

Miles actually manages to 'redeam' his enemy!! like Pete never did!! i have been begging for this since the uneccesery death of Phin!!

like, Pete's point of view is: if i secrefice enough of myself i'll manage to save the world, and Miles's attitude is: if i relay and gain strengh from the support of my comunity ill manage to save the world. and it shows!!! Miles is there to represent what Peter isn't!!

Peter was there to make sure Miles do the same mistakes as him, and now that he sees that Miles did learn, from Pete, from his mom and eveyone else, he feels inaducite, to the point where he agreed that he just needs to become better and to secrefice even more of himself to keep up.

but Peter, you are not less because someone else is there for you, you are MORE because of it. and im obsessed they actually deliverd to us on this, to the point where i am not even done with the game but i m incredibly happy with it

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pepprs · 7 months

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doing really bad in ways i can’t talk about which is making it worse

#just cancelled a meeting so i could cry in the office LMAOOOOOOO 🥰👍#purrs #the mortifying ordeal of my therapist being on her honeymoon rn 😹😹😹😹😹#i think i am just a bad person and my needs hurt people who need me. and it’s not fair to them and idont know what to do with that.#i think i may have to move out sooner than i am ready to and not listen to anyone telling me to keep waiting. this is not sustainable. it’s #not sustainable for my family because i hurt them with my needs. and it’s not sustainable for me to be unable to need and get what i need #without hurting them. i think what’s so hard about this is that i have to do it alone and everyone is against me doing it but i have to do #it anyway. i don’t know. i don’t want my sister to see this and get hurt. if you do see this im sorry i can’t be what you need. im sorry my #needs hurt you. but they’re needs. i have to be selfish even though my brain is screaming at me in your voice that i don’t. i just need to #escape it all. i am allowed to need independence and alone time and im sorry i was cruel about asserting it but i need to assert it and no #one at home understands why but I need to. im not talking coherently i just feel so wretched and sick to my stomach with guilt and grief and #frustration and shame and i have to facilitate a huge session in an hour and a half.#delete later #like my friends / mutuals / mentors / etc can tell me until they’re blue in the face that i am not a bad person and i deserve to live an #independent Life etc etc but none of you are actually in my house and you don’t see how it is and how i am the cause of all of it and how im #stuck and making things worse. and i can’t summon my strength or calm down or anything. i don’t know. i have to get ready for the session i #just can’t even think straight. my family is right and i am also right and i can’t assert my rightness over theirs. so im stuck forever.#if i could i would leave work early and go home but there’s no one to take me home and home is actually the worst possible place to be #right now LOLLLLL. i just need to curl into a bed and cry. also im about to get my period so thats probably why im like this lol

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celestial-toys · 1 month

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been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying

#it’s good crying dw i am just. i have so many feelings about this story #Seven’s Celestial Commentary #Everything Stays #writing stuff #i may be stuck in bed struggling to type due to personal reasons but that will Not stop me from cooking up ideas for this fic #there is gonna be so much fucking angst and it’s gonna hurt soooooo good #the more i listen to it the more the possibilities expand #i can easily see Moon and Reader going back and forth between verses vulnerably arguing over Sun #but i can also see it being Sun and Moon getting real and discussingcougharguingover Reader #can’t decide which i like more #god i wish y’all could see this story the way it plays out in my head #next best thing would be to keep writing and sharing the story instead of vagueposting abt future plot points tho wouldn’t it lmao #and GOD don’t even get me fucking STARTED on Two Hearts…#Dermot Kennedy’s music is responsible for yet Another plot point for this story and i can’t even be mad about it. his fucking lyricsss dude #‘and so we jump to the THEATER??? in that SAME OLD TOWN???’ DO WE? FUCK I GUESS WE DO NOW!!!#picture me listening to that song and inspiration hitting me like a truck. diligently taking notes like the lyrics r instructions from God #‘she sees his face?? and HE sees HER as the LIGHTS GO DOWN???’ write that down write that down #‘the life that they should’ve had sat between them that night??’ FUCK Man yeah it sure did!!!#anyways it’s chill i’m chill. i’m very normal about my little stories and their musical inspirations!#and i’ve listened to these songs a very normal amount (translation: they will likely be in my top ten for the 2024 wrapped)#(cut to the scenes playing vividly in my head) ‘Well‚ at least I can always say that I /told/ her!’#‘I can’t relate to having a heart like that‚ Sun! With all of your wonder and your trust intact…’#like no i wouldn’t lift the lyrics directly for the song to use as dialogue but FUCk does it work well.. Lucky is such a good script for-#like- a heated conversation between my Relentlessly Positive Sun and my Apathetic Jaded Moon #‘How could our farewell mean as much as our time? Honey‚ I’ll be gone. It’s better if I’m something that you leave behind.’#‘I used to paint these trees‚ now I just scream at the sky. Honey I was wrong. Guess there’s certain things you never leave behind.’#*sobbing shaking throwing up clawing at the walls* I Am Normal About These Characters #anyways uh. on an unrelated note how many song lyrics do ya think i can cram into ES before it’s Too Many #gonna have to start getting creative with how i can incorporate more songs in a way that feels natural and not forced #even tho i am forcing it. i am forcing it very much bc i have songs with applicable lyrics and y’all Will read them one way or another

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benetnvsch · 4 months

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Personal/rant

how fucked up do u have to be to get the nicest person in the fandom to openly dislike u holy shit- bsd twt should maybe crash and burn already - what if I just left the internet forwver benetnation ,,,

#vent #csa mention #tw csa mention #I saw the few tweets of theirs and was shocked like??#they’re quite literally the nicest person ever in the fandom I see their posts and I cry #something must be seriously wrong with u to get them to publically speak against u #whcih there fucking is these ppl are Not Real #some of the things I’ve seen are so fucking vile idk how ppl like this could even exist #ppl with their entire chest be tweeting that children deserve to be assaulted okok #and then the ppl that respond in outrage to that are the ones getting banned ofc #imma be real with u kitten- I may go on hiatus until this blows over #I love my mutuals so much but they keep qrt’ing ppl and content that is triggering to me For good reasons but I Can’t personal handle this-#for much longer ahhh :’)

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kennys-parka-jacket · 4 months

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oddly enough, back when i worked at a dollar store Christmas Eve was one of the better days of the year. There was a line around the store the whole time, sure. But everyone was nice and polite and orderly. No pushing, no yelling, no fussing. You wouldn't even know there were customers back there until you turned around the aisle and saw them.

Now mother's day on the other hand...

#I guess it's because most of the people who go to the dollar store on christmas eve are retail workers with retail wages #So they're nice to other retail workers #Also it was closing shift christmas eve. People were just grateful that we were still open and taking care of them #Plus christmas has a reputation for being really stressful for retail workers. I think people wanted to minimize the hassle #But mother's day doesn't have the same reputation. So in may i clocked in and dealt with an endless line of people all day #And those people were yelling; children were crying; there were big time consuming orders; fuss over discounts #Fuck the cards industry for screwing up mothers day

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vulturereyy · 1 year

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THEY'RE DOING FUCKING WHAT FOR A CROWN OF CANDY????