tumblr tuesday: shower thoughts

Shout out to those of you who wonder out loud on the internet. (And then come home from work in the evening to a bajillion notes from people with takes you hadn’t even considered on a topic you haven’t even thought about since making a half-asleep text post ten hours ago before your first coffee of the day.) Shout out to you and only you. And to these folks who have had some thoughts worth thinking:

thank god for skin! without it we would simply be peeled limes with complicated emotions

@decaffeinated-hoe does not need caffeine to have thoughts or write them down on the internet. We’re truly blessed!

caligula was a pretty fucked up guy, but in his defense if everyone called me a nickname that meant “little boots” i’d also probably execute a few people

@thoodleoo serves delightfully acerbic hot takes on the ancient Romans.

I think women in ponds giving out swords is a fine system of governmence actually. May i have one

@swordlesbianopinions is fairly straightforward: Here is a lesbian who likes swords and wielding opinions, which she does freely and, might we add, rather well. Bravo!

‘how kafkaesque’ i say waiting in line at the taco bell. you think im talking about the alienating bureaucracy of waiting in a single file line for food premade in another state but actually im talking about the dead cockroach in the corner

@mariowiki​ likes sea creatures with lots of skin. She has been here forever and still manages to be funny, which is kind of impressive, honestly.

And here, to round us out, is an elephant seal in desperate need of a shower (if not a thought.)

i finally watched the new owl house trailer and im obsessed with this look 👀

Some commissions over the last couple months.

Reblogs are welcome, please do not repost or use as icons unless you are the client. Thank you.

You're gonna want the sound on

happy pride month from your queer knight <3

[image description: a pencil sketch of a knight with long hair on a rearing horse. the knight holds aloft a rainbow pride flag. end image description.]

Instead of bees, honey came out of people's vaginas. It was part of the menstrual cycle. You could buy it from the store or you could harvest your own. I harvested my own and kept it in a jar.

Life imitates art

memes to cope

Leverage: Redemption Episode Descriptions 1-8

101 - The Too Many Rembrandts Job

When the team comes together to help Sophie, they intercept guilt-ridden corporate fixer Harry and decide to help him take down an evil billionaire making money on the back of an opioid crisis.

102 - The Panamanian Monkeys Job

With a new team member on board plus the arrival of Hardison’s genius foster sister, the team heads to Panama to pull an elaborate heist before an evil billionaire can get his money and flee to a non-extradition country.

103 - The Rollin’ on the River Job

The Leverage team takes on a greedy riverboat casino owner, before he can bulldoze the homes of longtime New Orleans natives for his planned expansion.

104 - The Tower Job

One member of the team seeks redemption and justice by convincing Leverage to con a developer out of an entire luxury apartment building.

105 - The Paranormal Hacktivity Job

When a woman believes she is being haunted and runs from her home in terror, Sophie leads Breanna and Parker through a con to convince the two real estate scammers responsible to target Leverage HQ.

106 - The Card Game Job

The Leverage team dives into the world of a high fantasy collectible card game with a devoted following to take down a pharmaceutical bad boy who is price-gouging drugs to fund his own house of cards.

107 - The Double-Edged Sword Job

The team takes on a brilliant software developer who is selling a groundbreaking facial recognition system that threatens everyone’s privacy except his own.

108 - The Mastermind Job

Sophie must keep her feelings in check when she discovers that someone has written a memoir of the team, casting himself as Nate – which leads an exiled criminal to kidnap Harry and “Fake Nate,” forcing the Leverage team to pull a heist.

"we already were friends"

Incidentally, I definitely think Jester’s attempts to be friends with Lucien are totally manipulative - but I think they’re also totally genuine.  That’s the beauty of Jester - Matt asked out of character if there was any deception there.  There wasn’t!  She genuinely just wanted to make him a kitty and run around the tower with him.  

But also, she wanted him to let down his guard and she wants him to trust her, and she wants him to underestimate her and think of her as sweet and naive and maybe just slightly stupid, and it works.  And like with Isharnai, Jester’s goal here isn’t friendship for the sake of friendship - it’s because, as she said, she still feels like there’s something she can do to bring Molly out from the depths of Lucien’s subconscious and she’s hoping he’ll let himself be vulnerable enough around her, mentally and emotionally, to try it.

But, again - she’s not lying when she says she wants to be friends!  She’s not lying when she says “it’s harmless, i’m just going to show you something cool, i promise.”  and if it works?  or, really, if it works to make lucien be her friend somehow but doesn’t actually unlock mollymauk - then she’ll have another scary evil bff, who she will treat EXACTLY the way she treats her normal, not scary friends!

jester sends isharnai the cupcakes she promised her even after they’ve gotten what they wanted out of her!  jester knows 100% that she manipulated and bespelled this hag, but, ALSO: they are friends.  “and if it does work, and it does stick, then i’ve got a really cool, powerful friend!”  

friends, apparently, are friends, whether you got them by mind-whammying them with magic or not!  and you can continue to treat them as friends while also manipulating the hell out of them to get what you want!  

(She may being doing this, long-game-style, with the Gentleman - using her more overt pushiness abt him contacting Marion to cover the subtler manipulation she’s actually after.  If anyone could manage to parent-trap them, it would be her.)

when she blurts out random, weird, semi-personal information like “oh i’ll domesticate unicorns,” she’s setting herself up to be someone lucien thinks just says whatever’s on her mind.  so he’ll dismiss her and think oh, jester, she’s so open, she’ll say anything to anyone, there’s definitely no way she could be keeping a secret from me, the nonagon, with all my eyes that see everything, surely not! i have to worry about the nosy monk and the curious wizard - but this one?  this cute one that talks about unicorns and turns into a cat for fun?  surely there’s nothing to worry about there!

all the tulip-ish requests together + amelia. i love tulip, she is the only valid gamer

"they look to you." // "let's not disappoint."

Listen, it’s been years since Yennefer had to pay non sorceress expenses and Jaskier grew up in a noble family. They’re both clueless.

recent dsmp slop 

first one is also based on a headcanon i have that instead of having scars from when dream oppa murder styled tommy, he just gets chronic nose bleeds :J  

Love was something I lost when the gods decided I wasn’t strong enough to protect it.

tma precanon AU where Martin gets rid of a spider for Jon on his first day as a researcher and Jon is instantly smitten but doesn’t know how to express it. just follows him down corridors and ducks out of sight when he notices. martin thinks he’s about to get murdered meanwhile jon’s writing in his notebook ‘jonathan blackwood-sims’ and ‘today Martin wore a blue jumper. the color really suits him.’

@altadoodler said married for tax and legal benefits philza and techno and so we come back to 3am shitpost hours

Also really enjoying the influx of platonic marriages on my dash recently

To clarify again: all of this is platonic and for the schadenfreude of it all, if I get asks on it I will pin a new post in the morning, if you need anything tagged, let me know

Edit: Absolutely Do Not Interact If You Ship This Romantically. I made this because I thought the premise was funny and I like seeing them as platonic lifelong companions. I check all reblogs, you will be Blocked. Respect CC boundaries, please and thanks 💕

Grief is the final act of love

One last time–Ariana Grande// Allegiant–Veronica Roth// The Good Place (2016-2020)// Jamie Anderson// WandaVision(2020)// The Capacity to Love Requires the Neccesity to Mourn–Dr. Alan Wolfelt// Soon You'll Get Better– Taylor Swift// Fleabag (2016–2020)// Wish: Heaven Has No Regrets–Tessa Shaffer

wandavision gif credit: @harleenz

fleabag gif credit: @ameliasimms