#maybe I am just being stupid again

[torgawl]

i am begging people who keep pushing the wriothesley is a father figure to the melusines/sigewinne agenda to read his lore. begging. he's not a father figure, in fact, he's like their borrowed grandkid. the melusines adopted him, not the other way around!!!

#after neuvillette's story quest and neuvillette himself being vocal about not introducing the melusines in human society out of pity but #because they're capable and letting them prove their value why would you choose to babify them?? #they're old and they're very independent #they're like tiny grandmas #maybe i'm being petty but am i really??? 😭 #i just think it's stupid that there's so much focus in not infantilising them for sigewinne to be made wriolette's kid in every piece of #fan content for commodity #she's not a baby she's the head nurse she's incredibly capable and she took care of wriothesley since he was a teen in the fortress #he just deeply respects them and retributes the kindness that probably saved his life now that he has means to do so #if anything they're friends really #their relationship is also so much nicer and more meaningful this way without any sort of power imbalance #i wish people could appreciate that too #anyways sorry for being petty on main #also sorry for posting about wriothesley again shsjshs

[halffizzbin]

The more times I re-watch Lost the madder I get that ANYONE still wants to leave the island once they discover there are showers and processed foods. What more do you even need? Smartphone-induced insomnia?? Office jobs????? Robocalls??? Vacuuming???? INCOME TAX????????

#I am specifically referring to the characters without any family or decent relationships back home lol #but like #I have parents and a sister and nephews and a cat #and I'd still be like. Not in a massive hurry #sure if you're not a main character there's like a 1% chance you get offed by an Other or Smoky or dynamite but is it worth it? Maybe! #and I would be forced to redirect my stimulation-junkie ADHD brain away from stupid shit and just obsess over learning new skills lol #teach me how to butcher a boar or something I'll get SO good at it just WATCH me #it will be all I care about for weeks until I find the next thing like throwing knives or tying knots or hand-to-hand combat #I won't have to grind my teeth over not being able to contribute to my Roth IRA EVER AGAIN #Do you even KNOW how many cool spiders they have in tropical locales? #My skin and my curls look SO good in humidity #JACOB #I WANNA GO #DO YOU HEAR ME JACOB???? #Lost

[calitsnow]

It’s always funny to me when I have the same reactions as Dante and I never feel closer to them than when I am just playing with my vision of this weird reunion of outcasts as a big and loveable found family, only to see that vision crumbled down and challenged every canto by a sinner or Vergilius who exclaims loud and clear and often vehemently that it will never be anything more than a employer / employee relationship.

At those moments I react exactly like Dante when they are like: « Maybe I am the only one who thought we were sharing something together ? Maybe all the sinners are only here for their own goals ? Maybe they would never want to make an effort to create a meaninful relationship between each others ? Was I a fool to believe that this was the start of a friendship … that we could have developpe a bond more or less deep, a feeling of belonging … that we could have been a family. »

First there is the pain of having your hopes shattered but then that doesn’t stop us to continue hoping for it to happen.

We are just two big delulu people

#limbus company #dante #canto V spoilers #I guess #I mean I know the story is probably going to go on the found family road #but since it’s project moon I can’t help but feel I am being delulu when I am faced with moments like that #because I fear they are just going to put us through suffering #and also maybe because some don't feel worthy to have this sort of relationship again #and that those moments are like a reminder to stay aware of the fact that maybe this is not going to end as a big happy family ... #but that's just a possibility ! #there is also the possibility that through this journey they WILL developp this kind of bond #and I mean the best found family are the one where they have to go through stuff together to get there #it's about living things and overcoming together #so I understand why Dante won't stop believing that a deeper relationship can bloom from this #and maybe I am delulu but #for me those moments are just hardships that are on the road which lead to something better and I mean #that's normal since this is a story where characters have to grow and it would be stupid to except the sinners and Dante #to become so close so fast #this is the endgame #and we already have the proof of that possible end with Yi Sang #Yi Sang is ready to create a new kind of bond with Dante and the sinners #he is ready to have what he had once with his previous comrades #because yes the problem is also that all the sinner are hurting deep inside and I have learned that it was better to stay alone #because caring for someone maked them suffered and now they don't want to start a new relationship where they could hurt again #better being alone that being the only one alive and being the one who has to remember and carry on #gosh I ended up talking a lot in the tags #Yi Sang is the best

[flyingspicerack]

ok making a post abt this genuine style

i like aggies, i love them... but i love drawing and chatting more than just sitting in silence ... and i WANT to be able to have a little place to chat in vc where people can come and go as they please...

like a server or gc

but you guys KNOW how i feel about servers... but ive been slowly coming around to the idea again... bc i trust you guys... i trust my friends...

idk, is this stupid? you guys would shut me down if it was a bad idea, right?

#spice.txt #im genuineley looking for feedback #i also.. .as u probbaly know cause im always scared #that like... im worried if we have a server that our posting on tumblr would die #i dont want that #I ALSO dont want to be the sole owner of a server if we DID do it... id like someone to either help or be the owner instead... #I DONT KNOW is this stupid? am i being stupid and setting myself up for something bad to happen to me again... #im sorry i just.... i like chatting .... #im not sure if anyone will respond to this tho... but if u read it maybe ?? IDK SORRY

[manasurge]

.

#sometimes I wish drawing wasn't such a lonely activity #am in a bit of a social mood but can't find anything to socialize about #i also wish I didn't need to spend ALL DAY trying to prep my brain to try to draw; despite it being something I wanna do and enjoy #why must i have executive dysfunction over my hobbies #this is why it takes me one million years to something I can actually get done in a few days at most #i'm so incredibly frustrated and it's super depressing and bumming me out #it's just so frustrating and i'm so irritated at myself #i know it's shark week so maybe it's why i'm a bit of a mess; but usually it doesn't affect me during the time so idk #also i love how every night I get to deal with the crippling dread and lowkey anxiety attacks bc everything i'm avoiding/afraid of and it- #- keeps festering in my mind and makes me avoid sleep for as long as possible and i'm stuck in an eternal negative feedback loop #i can't even do the thing i enjoy bc my brain is making it hard for me #not to mention that I constantly get those thoughts about how i'm never getting anywhere in life and i am in fact; ALONE #no irl friends or family and it still scares me to think about how worse things will get in the future for me. #not to mention not having a career or being capable of doing any kind of secondary schooling makes the dread even worse #but again frustrated and i can't even apply positive activities like how I'd usually do; not to mention i'm just always mad at myself about #-everything lmao #stupid brain just let me enjoy me hobby bc i wanna do it and you're not letting me and it's making me feel worse #delete later probably idk lmao

[cxpperhead]

Copperhead takes time to warm up to people. In his experience, most people cannot see past his appearance and treat him differently, be it with thinking he's creepy or worse, thinking him an animal due to his serpentine looks. Copperhead is okay with the latter; people who assume his intelligence is low or that he doesn't 'experience feelings' like a human only makes it all the easier to take them by surprise when they underestimate him so badly.

#🐍 || musings #🐍 || headcanons #He experiences this a lot #Moreso people finding him 'creepy' which is fine by him #He doesn't trust people easily and is fine with whatever they think so long as they pay him for his services #Those who try to play him or give them less than what he agreed to will pay for it another way #It's funny because he will be so quiet and let them assume he's not as intelligent as he actually is #When really he's taking everything in and judging the fuck out of them #One of the few things he's thankful for in having a hard time expressing himself facially is that he can feel rage but look calm af #Which is another thing that's creepy about him because he just can't make the same facial expressions ordinary humans do #And a lot of people naturally assume that because he can't show it then he can't feel it #No eyebrows to indicate surprise or incredulousness #No ability to blink so can avoid any tells that excessive blinking would indicate #No blushing because scales #Can't really blame people for finding him uncanny but it is what it is #I'm feeling a bit better again but I have the hospital in a few hours so gonna catch a quick nap #I have two days off but otherwise I'm working damn near every day until New Year so maybe I can eke out something #Thank you all for being so wonderfully patient with my stupid ass #And thank you to new followers also I promise I am not ignoring you I'm just having a tough time lately #Bless you Chrome for inspiring this thought #I needed distractions tonight x

[soullessjack]

he is so important to me

#posts the same image 5 times yeah this is content . I am girlblogging queen matriarch boy #he’s happy!!!!!!!!! #for the first time in weeks after being overwhelmed and traumatized and depressed over his own guilt and actions #he’s happy!!!!!!!!!!! #extremely important #crying so much because . he’s so pretty and beautiful . and it means so much to me to see him smile after everything that happened … #eeuuuuugguhjjgg last holiday you will always be the jack episode of all time to fucking exisy #last holiday is mother #spn #supernatural #jack kline #spn season 15 #15x14 #spn 15x14 #last holiday #dean&jack #very important for dean&jack as well yes #like I know the dungeon dialogue is kinda clunky and disjointed or maybe that’s just me #but they’re . they’re being stupid idiots together again #remembering when I called them fucking idiots duo .. real missing my guys hours …….

[sweatermuppet]

feel so stupid crying abt my ex!!!! but i am!!!!!

#i wish i could just. oh wrench some sense into my stupid stupid heart #because she hurt me! she used me! & i think abt her & all i act on is this ridiculous softness #there's so much anger when i position the scene rationally! but no. as soon as i consider her... think of being near her #my will just evaporates & i guess that hurts me more. knowing how goddamn doggedly soft i am #& always goddamn will be?? thought maybe id have a better hold by now #i deserve better. i do. but my heart fuckin quails & weeps & flips toward her. resolve boiled to nothing #bitter bitter feelings washed over by this achingly tender front that i can never pry out!! #okay im normal again

[puppyeared]

uhh. uhhhhh

#realistically i knw that if i went thru with making animatics for all of these songs I think my hand would fall off BUT. i have brainrot #half of these songs are either here bc of the vibe or because i listened to the lyrics and read analyses and put 2 much effort than i had t #ALSO LISTEN. LISTEN BODYBAG IS EXACTLY EVERYTHING I IMAGINE WHENEVER I THINK OF WUKONG AND MACAQUES RELATIONSHIP OK #two birds and baby hotline is also kind of self explanatory. although most of the jack stauber songs are mostly for vibe #bitter water is a very specific flavor of pining / unhealthy outlook. kind of has like an insatiable vibe to it but idk how to name it #i want soap to be a healing song but maybe im just being optimistic. im here for the vibes although i feel like if swk and macaque were #actually to make up i think they would go into it kicking and screaming. and im frustrated because i cant find a song to match that #except maybe bodybag which AGAIN. THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID THATS HOW THEYRE GONNA HEALL FLYING BARK PLS #what if it doesnt end well also feels like a doomed narrative to me. like if you think about it from how their relationship might have st #started (and im probably taking from how everyone romanticizes their relationship as something really innocent or sweet at the start which #i am also not immune to that). but knowing them it is also a very good possibility thats not the case at all. what it is i dont know #primadonna also strikes me as a swk song but like msotly because he serves cunt. on that note I like to imagine rose colored boy as swk to #MK.BECAUSEEE i love how MK brings out the best in people AND AND AND!! 5000 year old immortal who has seen some shit come on people 'and i #have taken my glasses off' COME ON LOOK ATIT. you could also argue that could be macaque to MK and it would make sense #Spotify #Lego Monkie kid #lmk #yapping #playlist #monkie kid

[thatone-churro]

getting feedback on my poetry is both the best and worst thing in my life

#maybe i just hate rereading my poetry and am in a ‘my poetry sucks’ slump rn (contrary to my professor’s praise) but whatever #like i don’t mean best and worst referring to praise and criticism respectively i mean. the entire process. #like i’d love to just throw shit out there and never have to refer to it again sometimes <3 #grace being stupid #text post #personal

[floral-hex]

I had to skip therapy this week and I’m handling it really well. I’m definitely not filled with a sadness and rage that threatens to consume me whole.

#and I ate some hushpuppies #don’t worry. I’ve got therapy again in uhhhh January #I feel so stupid and selfish complaining about it but I really kinda needed that little 1 hour outlet to vent to someone I trust #but uh…. god it sounds so stupid and trite to say ‘hey I’ve been thinking a lot about killing myself lately’ but uh ‘hey…’ #and I don’t want to complain about specifics on here because that’s annoying for people #my birthday is Sunday and my mom is still in the hospital not doing well and I’m just… done with everything #I’m ready to be done #but I’m too full of worry about my family after I’m gone. #and I frustratingly always hold on to things long after they’ve gone rotten. my life included. #maybe if I hold on things will improve. probably. but that’s a future issue and I’m here living now #to me. for me. it feels disingenuous to post online about being self destructive. #so I guess… I’m just upset 🤷🏻‍♂️ but when am I not? #it was a long. frustrating. terrible day. #it’s whatever #you can ignore this #text

[kideternity]

People get pissy a lot about Omegamon being like oversaturated which you know is fair I get the criticisms at least I think I do, but it does personally annoy me a little bit that I've never seen anyone bring up how Gallantmon gets special treatment too considering they have five fucking alternative forms like. Come on now. Let’s be fair here when it comes to the call outs

#dinu yells into the void #dinu yells in the void #NOT going in main tags i dont want people mad at me #i just get like pettily annoyed over how ppl compare omegamon to like charizard from pokemon like ‘stupid overhyped overrated mon’ #‘that the company uses too much’ #but aint no one gonna bring up too how dukemon gallantmon is like #the other royal knight who gets like The Big Special Treatment #like again. FIVE DIFFERENT MODES. #maybe im just being a hater bc im an omegamon fan #and more and more I am starting to hate Dukemon/Gallantmon #the like fan attitude about dukemon just makes me go 😒🙄

[dogboots]

blog that makes me happy vs nobody will ever take me seriously here as long as I post the way I do

#mousetalk #im aware that a lot of my biggest interests are for children. thats why this main blog looks like a seven year old designed everything #im also aware of how silly i tend to look to anybody who isnt myself. 'adult who likes things for children“ isnt really something you Want #to be known as because this makes you look stupid to folks who do not have or understand the childish stuff #which is pretty understandable. i do look silly taking cartoon dogs seriously and being converned over toy rabbits feelings and whatnot #im not so oblivous as to pretend that i dont lol #i just wish i could enjoy these things and still be taken seriously! im not angry at people for deciding they wont or deciding they dont #like me or deciding im some sort of strange freak who will never grow up. its valid when you consider the everything else about me. #just wish it didnt have to mean that any and all footholds i have in adult spaces werent null and void you know #itd be nice if the two things could coexist. #im really only rambling in the tags like this because having this childish blog as my main ends with me being blocked a Lot #which again! im not mad about! people can choose to interact with who they like and form whatever opinions they want #im just a little sad is all. i have plenty of (mature even!) interests outside of things like stickers or stuffed animals but i cant really #interact with these things here without somebody inevitably looking my way and going oh. another immature person. goodbye #or just assuming that im a child trying to wiggle my way into adult spaces by claiming i am one. according to 1 ask i recieved a while back #i dont know. this really isnt much of a complaint is it. 'people dont take my stuffed animals seriously' is about as stupid of a problem as #it gets haha #maybe someday ill suck it up and rebrand and stop talking about baby animals on my main blog #so i could finally follow a blog for something like a horror game franchise without being blocked on sight #or greeted reluctantly and with an eyeroll haha #TLDR; if this blog stops being happy funtimes it is nobodys fault but my own for being spineless about my own interests lol #i doubt anybody is reading this wall of text (hello if you are) but dont take anything i said in here personally #enjoy what you want to enjoy. dont let me or anybody else dictate that when your life on earth is so short #this is more just me with my own trivial issues that dont matter in the grand scheme of things #okay goodnight everybody thats it for the time being

[munamania]

don’t wanna be mean but esp now that casual is going through her tiktok renaissance (smash that like if u were there the first time) i see people being like tch… i guess THIS was just so casual to this person.. and it’s like well the thing is babe friends can just do those affectionate things i’m afraid you’ll have to communicate or respect yourself enough to not go thru that if you know it’s not for u and if you can’t do either then well yeah ig it is time for u to start crying on the internet publicly idfk what the point of this post was gonna be. basically pussy up a little..

#no i’m not for people who take advantage of esp young women. i’m refusing to automatically associate these vids #with ppl dating men i just don’t think u should use chappell for that. but anyway i digress. regardless #i just love being a contrarian. some of you could do with loosening up and not relying entirely on someone else’s attention to define ur #self worth. and maybe stop listening to little bitch baby high school music when some gives u a hug and u get too in ur head abt it #GIRL WHO HURT U CALM DOWN. #ok sorry. #i’m one to talk sure. but you know. i realize some of these ppl are even younger than me at my ripe age of 21 #but i once again feel trapped in a generation where all over the spectrum of dating people are just stupid and immature and annoying #<3 #abby talks #someone* #** i am not saying that about chappells music btw fill it in as u will

[apple-os]

ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni

#the salt just caught up with me and now im pissed #hi welcome to what i like to call a friendly reminder that hanging out with someone just because its convenient is kind of shitty #and a less friendly reminder that talking about yourself to connect with people is an autistic trait #and an even less friendly reminder that not telling someone if theyve done you wrong and then proceeding to blow up on them is ALSO SHITTY #ESPECIALLY. WHEN. THEY THINK. YOU'RE ON GOOD TERMS. BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE IT AND THEY CAN'T READ YOU. #IM REALLY FUCKING MAD #I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE. #the people who actually somewhat knew me and hung out with me and were on good terms with me think the same #so like BLEH MYEH :PPPPPPPPP #like okay youre entitled to your opinions but sometimes you need to keep those to yourself #did u see me insulting u to ur face #nope i have not done even once #and thats on getting better communication skills instead of lashing out at someone for trying to fit in with your own vibes #like yeah oversharing is my deal. anybody who sees me here knows that #i bond by being open with people about who i am and what i like in the hopes that theyll do the same #if u think im just around for gaming and making silly jokes u would be wrong. #but of course nobody told me people weren't there to bond like that which in my opinion shouldnt be on me #and once again i am outcasted over something honestly kind of fucking stupid #some of the jokes i made were stupid yes but thats solely because i severely misjudged the vibes #and checks notes oh yeah nobody pulled me up for it even once. #okay so let me get this straight you barely know me and have been making assumptions about me since day one #pretty much let me believe you liked me for two whole weeks instead of asking me about things or cutting me off #and im the one who gets treated like im in the wrong? okay #this miscommunication was not my fault in the slightest and i KNOW that #if you hadve just talked to me things would be fine but theyre NOT. #if you hadve just looked at my gosh darn profile and seen im the queerest fucker around making gay and homophobic type jokes maybe you woul #have had half the mind to ask me if i could stop making those jokes!!!!!!!!! #i am not transphobic!!!!!!! I AM TRANS!! I WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF SOME TRANSPHOBIC CULTURE I HATE!!!! #i mightve vented on main ONE TIME under the guise of a silly joke but oh my god guess what?? that was an attempt to see if anybody related. #you never liked me in the first place dont lie to yourself

[pepprs]

like it’s VERY very important to not text and drive. and i understand how dangerous it is to do that and to be distracted at all in any way for any amount of time on the road. i know it’s important to learn about these stories and bear witness to them. but i just think. like idk. watching multiple of them every day for 10 days (with a two day break halfway through for the weekend) is realy… like idk. i think after seeing a couple you can get the point. i don’t want to sound dismissive or lackadaisacal and im scared im sounding like that but i just am so freaked out by all of this and witb every new horror they’re showing us it’s scaring me worse.

#purrs #delete later #car accidents tw #death tw #child death tw #ask to tag #drivers ed tag #like this sucks so bad. we go from watching a video about how to drive in the city… to a 10 minute vid of a man talking abt how he hit and #killed 3 kids and it shows a PICTURE OF THE SCENE OF THE ACCIDENT WITH BLOOD AND EVERYTHING… and then after the video we immediately start #talking about like. fucking street cleaners and how you have to watch out for them. HOW is the video about the kids being hit and killed #part of the flow of the learning. what purpose does it serve. and it’s like these are REAL PEOPLE who died. real kids who existed. and it #just feels kind of fucked up. maybe it’s more fucked up thst im not following the flow and accepting the weight of it but it’s hard to when #im scared as fuck and just want to not be shown gore videos anymore. and then once we pick up the content again like abt street cleaners and #shit i can’t focus on any content bc i have to wind down from seeing the dead bodies and hearing the letter the parents wrote. like how is t #this helping. maybe it’s landing / more necessary for the 16 year olds but im 24. i am a whole adult. i do not take being alive for granted #i am terrified of death and dying and painfully aware of how fragile human beings are and how easy it is to be in danger. this is not #helping me or sending me a message it’s just making me so scared and terrified to even leave the house and unable to stop thinking about #death or injury lol!!! and i can’t tell them to stop and i can’t quit bc i need my fucking license so i have to just put my head down and #do this but it sucks indescribably. and we also saw one of those trick videos again too that makes you feel stupid bc it tells you to count #the number of lkke. things you see and it turns out i missed a few AND they were like did you notice what was going on in the background snd #i didn’t bc i was too busy counting the fucking things they told us to. i want to SCREAM. this makes me feel so stupid and helpless lolllll #<- as i was typing that we were learning about the chance of survival if you are hit by a car at different speeds! bc that’s relevant 😍😍😍😍😍😍 #anyways. my therapist was telling me stuff abt how i need to remember this isn’t targeted for me and i need to regulate my nervous system an #and how to calm down when it triggers me but i forgot everything she said literally 5 hours ago and now im here freaking the fuck out so. 🥰