#maybe I'M the local though because i've read this ten times and i'm like '....right

[payasita]

Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D

thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.

like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)

diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.

and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?

so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.

the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.

so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me

it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.

he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.

he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here

he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.

"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.

anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription

all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.

the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.

so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT

anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.

and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.

#personal #anyway thanks for the kind words anon #i am going to go lie down #ADHD #long post

[theycallme-thejackal]

Rising from my fucking inactivity grave to request a continuation of the reading photo prompt. Please I would love to see Lenny ring shopping with Rose!

Pairing: Lenny Bruce & Midge Maisel Rated T

Part 1 | Part 2

Rose Weissman is very punctual, and Lenny is running late.

This is one of the rare occasions Lenny wishes he paid attention to traffic patterns the way his girlfriend does. Midge would have known how to navigate from the Upper West Side to Fifth Avenue without hitting the ridiculous traffic he got stuck in. But of course he couldn't bring her on this particular excursion.

Proposals are supposed to be a surprise, right?

He gets to Tiffany's about ten minutes late, and when he doesn't see Rose standing outside, tapping her foot impatiently, he walks into the store.

"Good morning, sir. How may I help you today?" The sales woman asks, craning her neck to look up at him. She probably is only an inch or so taller than Susie and looks like a slight breeze could send her flying off into the sky.

"Uh - "

"Leonard!" Rose greets cheerfully, joining him. "You're late," she comments, taking his elbow and guiding him away from the young woman at the front.

"Traffic. There was construction on - "

"Central Park South, yes. You should have told your driver to cut across the park, but no matter. I've had plenty of time to help narrow down some choices."

Lenny swallows nervously. He's not hurting for cash anymore, not since kicking the drugs and the explosion of his albums in the last year - funny how notoriety sends people running to their local record shops to buy your shit - but he also knows Rose Weissman has...elaborate taste.

"Places like this can be overwhelming, so I thought I would help by removing anything I know Miriam wouldn't like."

She leads him to one of the counters, where there's a selection of rings all set up for him to peruse. He exhales in a bit of relief because he really was feeling overwhelmed about choosing something Midge would love. If she's going to wear it every day (and god, he hopes she says yes - what if she doesn't say yes?), he wants it to be something she really loves.

The selection before him is a smattering of all different kinds of rings. Gold, platinum, a sort of pink metal he doesn't know the name of, and different settings as well. He rubs his jaw as he ponders. "Well," he says after a long moment, "she wears a lot of gold jewelry, right? So I think maybe a gold set."

Rose's eyebrows lift, and she looks...impressed. "That's very wise," she comments. "Alright, so then let's take all of the platinum pieces away."

"I know she likes pink, though, so she might like one of the..." He flounders for a second.

"Rose gold," she supplies helpfully.

"...rose gold ones," he finishes. His eyes track over his options before one stands out. It's simple. Just a round diamond flanked by two smaller round stones on either side in a gold band. It's not as flashy as most of the other options, but he still finds his gaze returning to that one as he scans the choices.

"Sandra, can we see that one?" Rose points to the very ring Lenny had just been eyeing. "You have good taste, Leonard," she says knowingly. "I think Miriam would love this one."

"You don't think it's too...simple? I...I really want her to love it. Makes it harder for her to say no," he jokes.

"She won't say no," Rose replies simply. "You could give her the most garish, awful ring in existence, and she'd still say yes."

"You really think so?" He asks as he holds it carefully between his fingers.

"Are you questioning my authority?" Rose asks with an arched brow.

It makes him chuckle. He knows better than to question Rose's judgment in matters of love and marriage. "No, I'm just...I still can't believe she picked me," he admits quietly.

Rose places a hand comfortingly on his arm. "I admit I didn't understand her choice when I first met you," she says. "But in all my life, I don't think I've ever seen a couple better suited than you and my daughter."

He looks over at her. "Yeah?"

"Yes," she says with a decisive nod.

He looks at Sandra and lifts the ring. "This is the one," he says.

It turns out to be well within his budget, and he trades a check for the ring placed in a beautiful blue box.

#midgelenny #midge x lenny #midgexlenny #tmmm fanfic #marvelous mrs. maisel fanfic #writing prompt #otp: more important than god #jackal fics #answers

[loosesodamarble]

Ooo I have some questions for the ask game hehe 😈!

1.) Which of your OC’s is your favorite (besides Josele ofc)?

2.) What is your favorite English and Japanese quote?

3.) What is a random fact that you know but other’s may not?

Thanks Erika 🥰🫂!

Oh how cruel of you Lyra, bringing me questions that I have no choice but to joyfully answer! 😱/lh+j

1) Favorite oc besides Josele? 🤔 I do love the Nacsele kids a lot so I think it might be expected that they'd come after their mother but I think that my second favorite oc would have to be Shizuka, my Demon Slayer oc.

(Left is art by @/cringeyvanillamilk. Right is a commission from @/lightof the deep.)

She's my little skrunkly baby oc~! I love how angry she is while also trying to be kind (she regularly smacks people while treating their wounds). And she acts like she's got things under control but is really a worrywart about others. Skjoianvriug! Baby girl is also very very stupid (affectionate). My favorite trait about her though is her absolute refusal to tell any lie. She'd bite her tongue before making even the slightest fib. She's so stubborn on that trait and I want it to bite her in the ass one day. 😈

It's been so long since I've written for her but she still holds a special little place in my brainrotting mind.

2) Favorite quotes... So for English, it comes from a letter written by a Danish man to his niece, and the translation/transcription(? I can't remember which) was displayed at a local exhibit about the multi-cultured communities where I live. Anyways, the quote is:

We all have to die at some point, when you just are prepared for death then it is a positive thing to die, the separation is very difficult and it is hard for those who are left behind, but you have to strive towards meeting your late husband in a better home where there is no separation.

Maybe it's because I'm religious and do believe in a life after death but I fought to not cry in public when reading this for the first time. This quote absolutely kills me (positive). Death is painful, possibly more so for the people who lose a loved one, but (as far as I believe), there is hope for a reunion later.

For my favorite quote in Japanese, that would come from the 方丈記/Houjouki/"An Account of a Ten-foot-square Hut. It goes as follows:

ゆく河の流れは絶えずして、しかも、もとの水にあらず。淀みに浮かぶうたかは、かつ消えかつ結びて、久しくとどまりたる例なし。世中にある人と栖と、またかくのごとし。

And for a translation (one which I actually submitted for a class assignment):

The flow of the running river doesn't exhaust. Moreover, the original water is no longer there. Bubbles floating on the water's surface, they disappear and they form but non stay for long. Society's people and their dwellings are similar in that way.

The Houjouki as a whole is about impermanence and the opening text sets up that theme beautifully.

3) There's a pretty small list of things I know that other people likely wouldn't know but I'll dig deep for something... 🤔 ... 😖 ...

Did you know that posthumous marriages are a thing? In France, one can apparently be legally married to their dead fiance, though one must send in a request and they're not guaranteed the marriage. In China, they have the cultural ghost/spirit marriage which can be done between two deceased or one deceased and one living, and a similar practice can be found in Okinawa (one of Japan's prefectures). Some communities in India practice posthumous marriage too.

#questions from the ask box #lyra of the future #friends #soda asides #japanese language

[the-softest-bruise]

Post your favorite album by 8 artists you like and your favorite song from the album…

I'm counting on the expand post feature, if for some reason it doesn't work out oopsie haha *twirls hair* sorry for not being able to shut up about my questionable taste in music lmao. I have no idea how to add a read more on mobile in the year of the lord two thousand and twenty two

I was tagged by @lagloriana thank you so much! ❤️ (yes of course I wanna do it!! consider me down for getting tagged in anything really, even if it takes me several years to get around to doing it in the end)

I'm tagging @eulenspiegelei @burning-in-this-dark-world @melaninm0nster @maybecomedy (only if you want to of course! also please let me know if anyone wants to be removed from this post, that's no problem) (also!! if anyone wants to be added that shouldn't be a problem either! just lemme know)

Alright here goes, sorry in advance if anyone decides to listen to anything simply because I'm mentioning it here:

1. Lana del Rey / Ultraviolence - Cruel World (i don't know what it is but this song unlocks shrimp emotions in me. Also I'm aware how much she clashes with the rest of this list but she's everything and whenever she releases something new I will listen to it no questions asked. Hope I get to see her live on stage one day ❤️)

2. Alice Cooper / Brutal Planet - Cold Machines (probably not my favorite song by him generally speaking but probably my favorite song on that particular album on which I like every single one of the songs. The only singer on this list I've seen live on stage - twice - and intend to see again, fingers crossed. He means so much to me and my obsession with Your Dad's Music™ is entirely his fault because he started it when I heard Poison for the first time in 2008)

3. Limpbizkit / Chocolate Starfish and Hotdog Flavored Water - My Way (listen, if the music sounds like something that would be played at a small independent skateboard store that sells oversized hoodies it's very likely right up my alley, no matter if it's rap, rock or reggae or a mix of all of these genres)

4. Linkin Park / Meteora - Somewhere I Belong (I'd say I like Hybrid Theory just the same, maybe even more, but it's harder to pick a favorite song on there. One of the bands that means the most to me but that I hardly ever actually listen to anymore)

5. HIM / Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights - Beautiful (I remember so clearly the first time listening to this album in 2005~ish, I got the CD from the library and kept returning it just to immediately borrow it again until I finally bought it from the local record store. Feels like a melancholic summer night just after sundown)

6. Led Zeppelin / Mothership - When The Levee Breaks (yeah that's a Best Of Album, so what. It has all the good shit. Feels like late summer to me and I always listen to it in the car throughout September)

7. Metallica / Black Album - Wherever I May Roam (that's probably a controversial opinion, I know the black album is a breaking point in the band history for some fans. also, I don't necessarily consider myself a die hard fan despite literally owning a t-shirt lol. I do like this album though and have a lot of memories connected to it.)

8. Mötley Crüe (derogatory) (I have been listening to their music A LOT lately while literally thinking they're trash but not being able to fucking stop? I don't know which new mental illness I have discovered in me) / Theater of Pain - Home Sweet Home (here's the thing: Mötley Crüe is not even remotely in my top ten of favorite bands and theater of pain itself is okay I guess? However this fucking song? This FUCKING song?? Yes I DO take you to my heart. Yes I DO feel you in my bones. No I REALLY never feel left all alone when I just take this song. 😭❤️😭❤️✊😔❤️️ I love this song so much I've been considering getting a fucking tattoo of it for well over ten years now, that's how much it means to me. That's long enough to decide about a tattoo, right?? I should do it. Easily in my top five of favorite songs of all times EVER. Play this at my funeral I'm not even kidding)

#honorary mentions: #ozzy osbourne / no more tears: road to nowhere (although mama im coming home is a close second) #in flames / soundtrack to your escape: the quiet place #acdc / back in black: back in black (literally every song on this one is great. its like a best of album except it's just a regular album) #lorde / pure heroine: glory and gore (this is such a wintery feeling album for me idk why) #about me #tagged in

[lobaznyuk]

Soviet gymnast Natalia Yurchenko performing her eponymous vault for the first time in Moscow, 1982. In this vault, she does a roundoff onto the springboard and a back handspring onto the horse– this entry is known as the Yurchenko. Here she finishes the vault with a back tuck with full turn, but Yurchenko debuted three different salto variations during this year, including the layout and the layout full. In 2021, Simone Biles became the first woman to perform the Yurchenko-entry vault with a salto in the piked position, with two full rotations.

#one for the locals #natalia yurchenko #simone biles #ussr #usa #*old #maybe I'M the local though because i've read this ten times and i'm like '....right?'

[qierxing]

Obligations

Yan! Zhongli x Reader

Word Count: 2,837

How long can a man talk before he runs out of air?

Scratch that. How long can this man talk before you decide to strangle him?

"...as such, the rivers, plains, and mountains that are said to have been the remains of what is left of the dead gods remains…."

The intonation of Mr. Zhongli's voice nearly puts you to sleep at the ornate dining table, and if it weren't for the fact that you were at an esteemed establishment (even if you two were in a private room), you surely would've face planted and fallen asleep right there on the mahogany wood. But you don't, because it would be an insult to the very man (and the food) who invited you on this outing.

Mr. Zhongli is a respectable man and apparently, a good friend in your family's circles. Even though you've never met the man till now, even you're aware of his shining reputation; aunties giggling on how he's so charming and polite, cousins admiring his knowledge and strength, and other relatives likewise praising him to high Celestia and above.

And he is, you suppose, very handsome. His face is beautiful; high, defined cheekbones, molten amber eyes that glow warmly, pretty curved pink lips and nose to match. A good face, your auntie would say if she was here. An auspicious face.

“And that is how the geography of Liyue came to be...”

You're sure anyone in your position would be swooning over how his voice flowed like the trickling rivers that ran through Guili plains, but you just wished he would shut up at some point. Not even the delicious spread of food at the glass carousel wheel could distract from his tirade, and that was saying something.

Speaking of, why did he order so much food for only the two of you?

'In Liyue, you can always eat till you drop!' A saying that always echoed among the locals, and still holds true today. But even then, the intricately painted línglóng porcelain holding the remnants of steamed egg soup, roasted duck, squirrel fish, and more and more food, are way too excessive, even if he wanted to impress you.

You idly push around the Tianshu meat on your plate as he continues to drone on, wondering when you can politely excuse yourself without being rude.

-

"So, how was the dinner?" You internally groan as your mom's barely concealed excitement in her voice shows.

"Mama, we just sat there and talked." Well, Zhongli was the one doing most of the talking. But you weren't about to say that, not when you know a lecture awaits that answer.

"Isn't he a very handsome man?" Your mother's eyes gleam dangerously and a resigned sigh leaves your lips as she barrels on confidently. "Doesn't he seem like the perfect husband?!"

"Mama, it's ten in the morning…" What you wouldn’t give to eat your congee in peace.

"He is a respectable man, and quite knowledgeable to boot."

"Not you too, Baba!"

Your father merely chuckles as he continues reading the daily newspaper, and you roll your eyes as he continues chuckling behind the printed pages. Your mother swats at him to finish his porridge, turning to you with a frown on her wrinkled face. You brace yourself, knowing exactly what is coming next.

"[First Name], you're already of marriageable age, you should be looking for your future spouse! Your parents are growing old and when we die-"

"I will be perfectly fine without a husband." You cut her off, rubbing at your forehead. It was too early in the morning for this talk.

"Aiya, I don't want our only child to be by themselves! We will never know peace once we pass away, so much worry-"

You tune the rest of the lecture out, not even having the energy to refute her worries.

When you leave the house to take a walk, you meet the infamous Mr. Zhongli again.

"What a coincidence, I am also taking a walk to clear the mind. Would you perhaps like to join me?" And trapped by societal politeness, and the fact that this man did order you a three course meal the previous night, you agree.

So it's to your surprise that he does not immediately initiate dialogue as the both of you stroll leisurely through the stone gardens in Yunjin terrace, and a comfortable silence falls.

"You seem to have a lot on your mind." You turn to meet his gaze, and then away. Your frustration burns at you in the remainder of the morning's argument, but it dissipates at his concerned face. It is not his fault, you reason, that your mother wants you to court him for a possibility. For fortune. Despite the man's shortcomings, he is nothing but a gentleman.

"I don't want to pry but...I have heard that talking about your thoughts might ease your mind?"

You pause for a long time, breathing out your nose as you close your eyes.

"My parents want me to marry you." You've never been one to mince words, much to your mother's dismay at trying to teach you etiquette. "They think that you're a good match. And they're paranoid about me becoming a spinster."

There's silence for a moment and you open your eyes to not a face of disgust or shock, but rather one of musing.

"And you, [First Name]? What do you think?"

You turn your gaze to the water.

"Honestly? I don't know. I don't know you well enough to make that judgement. I know my parents are worried, but I don't want to get married for the sake of not being alone. I think it's rather selfish, to wish that solely for your partner."

The words tumble out of your mouth, one after another and you wonder how it is that it's easier to confess this to an acquaintance than your own parents.

"I was under the impression that people often like to pursue lasting romance in their lives. It's interesting to see this is not always true." Zhongli hums, hand coming to stroke his chin thoughtfully.

"Perhaps? I don't know. I've always been content with my friends." Shrugging your shoulders, you sigh. "Who knows? Maybe I have yet to meet the right person."

Zhongli hums again in response, seemingly in deep thought with a small frown pulling at his lips. A silence falls once again, and an awkward atmosphere falls upon the both of you.

"Oh yes, I never did thank you for the delicious dinner last night." You note offhandedly, half distracted by the swimming carp in the clear pond water. The water trails are hypnotic, and they help take your mind off the stressful morning you had.

"It was nothing. For my friend's precious child, that was the least I could do." He modestly replies, and you deadpan. It was nothing? A three course meal at Xinyue Pavillion, nothing? You know that squirrel fish did not have a low price tag.

"Regardless, I'm very thankful for your generosity." After all, not many tolerated your blunt, forthright personality, least of all the potential suitors your mother always brought before you. The memory makes you feel guilty at the irritation you had back then at the dinner. "The next time, I insist we have dinner at Wanmin--I've heard their black back perch stew is to die for. My treat."

He hums, and turns to you with a heartbreaking smile, a far cry from his previous countenance. "Is that a promise?"

You raise your eyebrow, "What are you, Morax? Yes, it's a promise, unless you hate fish, I guess."

His amused chuckles are soft but light a warm hearth in your heart.

-

Your mother is growing more daring than you remember.

She shoves you out the door as if you're some kind of fancy wrapped gift to offer to Mr. Zhongli, and there's a manic glee in her eyes as she eyes you and him standing together like a couple.

"[First Name] has been looking forward to this, haven't you, sweetie?"

The Liyuen hanfu she forced you into were a different cut than the modern cheongsam dresses of the current trends. Archaic, if you dare call it that. While some traditionalists still donned hanfu, it was not as common to see it in the streets. When she was shoving you in the under robes, she muttered about how it was something passed down in the family. Which explained a lot. These days, hanfu like this were something of a rich antiquity.

You sigh deeply, tugging your translucent pibo around you tighter as you decide to humor her, if only to get her to stop embarrassing yourselves and leave faster.

"Yes, quite."

Zhongli hums, and when you turn to face him, you're almost unnerved at how his eyes sharpen and scan over you, pupils slit like a dragon's. The moment is gone in a flash and he merely smiles at you gently before taking your hand in his gloved one.

"In that case, shall we get going?"

The nightlife of Liyue is in full swing and Zhongli tugs you closer, and there's something intimate in the way he presses you firmly into his side, the warmth he exudes sending pleasurable tingles down your body.

"Do forgive me for being so bold, [First Name]," He addresses you so tenderly, that you blush when you look back up from your joined hands, "You look absolutely radiant tonight."

How is it this man manages to say such an embarrassing thing so smoothly? What is his secret? He doesn’t seem like the playboys that often loiter around the downtown area of the harbor. You look away, unable to meet his eyes that reflect the lanterns and make his pupils glow.

"T-Thank you, Zhongli, you're too kind."

His eyes never seem to leave you, even when taking in the lovely scenery of Liyue at night. For the bright lanterns glitter and glow on the ocean waves, but his own pupils are glued to your being when you look in your peripheral.

“Is there something on my face?” Tearing your eyes away from the street in front of you, you turn to meet his gaze straight on.

He merely smiles.

“No.” He pushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear, the gesture innocuous, but leaving a burning trail where his finger tips touch your skin. “I believe we have arrived.”

Thankfully you can excuse the burning in your cheeks and neck away with the spices that the Li cuisine favors. If anyone asks, it was the black back parch stew making you look flushed and out of sorts. Never mind the fact that Chef Mao looks quite amused at the fact you’re sputtering in response to his cheeky questions about you showing up with a man to your favored restaurant.

When you look up from checking to make sure your hanfu didn’t get any stains, Zhongli is uncorking a white bottle and pouring it into your cups. At your questioning look, he replies, “Dàqūjiǔ. The Li technique ferments wheat for about two to three months. This one in particular, has a fine aroma after being fermented for a while.”

“Hoh…” You chuckle at his explanation, “You really do know everything.”

“Hardly. I cannot say I know as much as the regular scholar…nonetheless, to good fortune!”

Echoing his cheer, you raise your cup and drink.

The alcohol burns your throat, and you’re reminded of your low alcohol tolerance. Yet, your fellow friend refills your cup just as easily, and who are you to refuse him? By the time you’re on your fourth cup, your world is spinning and you’ve developed a headache.

“Ahaha…wow...everything...is...moving…” You slur incomprehensibly and slump onto the bamboo table.

“Oh dear, we best get you back. In this condition, you’re too vulnerable.”

“No way...if I go back with you...my mom….she won’t let me…!” You raise your head from the cool table, but the effort of doing that makes you groan.

Zhongli all too easily picks you up bridal style, and after bidding goodbye to Chef Mao with a hefty bag of mora, he walks down the now empty streets of Liyue.

“Won’t let you what, dear heart?” He hums, stroking your face gently with the pad of his thumb.

“Won’t let me...let...us...ugh…”

“[First Name], do you like me?”

“Mmh...yeah…” Is all he gets, but the stilted, jagged answer is enough for him. The content smile that breaks his face belies the haunting glow of his molten eyes.

-

When you step out of the door of your bedroom, you're accosted by your sobbing mother.

"Ma-Mama?! What's the matter?" You frantically ask, pushing at her shoulders.

"Oh my sweet child, oh I'm so happy for you! When were you going to tell me, you brat?!"

"Tell you what?!"

"That you're marrying Zhongli, sweetie! Oh, this is such a momentous occasion--"

You're too shell shocked that you do not hear her next words. What? Marry? Zhongli? What on Teyvat was going on--

"--Hurry up, he's waiting for you in the living room!" You're snapped out of your daze when you're ushered hastily into the room, casual robes and all, right in front of the very person you had so many questions for.

The door shutting behind you does not muffle the excited chatter from your parents and you wince when you hear your mother excitedly bantering with your father. Turning and meeting an intense gaze, you feel like you’ve stepped into an arena with a monster.

"Zhongli, why are my parents under the impression we're marrying?"

His golden eyes crinkle in delight at your blunt words, "Because we are, my dear heart."

D-Dear heart?!

"I don't understand."

"What is there not to understand?" You step back as he rises from the cozy armchair he was given. It only just occurs to you how ridiculously tall this man is, and he towers over you, like a mountain.

"I believe we share a mutual attraction. After all, last night only proved it." He leans over and you flinch as he gently cups your face with a small smile.

"We've only known each other for a couple days!" You protest, leaning your face out of his hands. His smile dips into a displeased frown, hands falling to his sides.

"Why need more time to prove what is already there?" He tilts his head. “If this is a matter about your dowry, I’m sure I can help--”

“This isn’t about mora! Zhongli, this is moving way too fast--”

“Is that so? If I’m correct, I believe that your family’s come upon some hard times, no?” And you’re left breathless, struck silent. “Not down to the pits, but just one little slip and...well, your father’s business is already taking loans, isn’t it?”

Your teeth are grinding so hard against each other to the point where it echoes in your head.

“Marry me, [First Name], and you won’t have to worry about any of that. After all, I’ve always had enough good fortune to share. Are you so willing to crush your parent’s hopes and dreams for their child?”

“I-” Your mother’s tears on her weathered face come to mind, wrinkles from stress deeply indented in her skin. Your father, weary, veiny hands covered in scars from hard manual labor, shoulders slumped from his strength sapping. And you realize with a bone chilling fear that this man, this man was threatening to destroy the very foundation of your life.

He smiles upon seeing your uncertain visage, gritted teeth, clenched fists and trembling body.

"You'll look beautiful in red and gold."

-

How numb you feel!

Having to sit there while being dressed, being fawned over by your cousins, cried over by your mother and aunties, and your father and uncles chuckling over your good fortune. All the while, you cannot bring yourself to bring even the fakest smile to your face, only being able to muster up a sheepish smile, but it is of no concern, as everyone seems to mistake it for a shy front for a person about to marry their true love.

At least that’s how your mother is spinning it to your giggling aunties. And even when the festivities are over, you know that this is not the end.

Bare fingers trace your cheeks and lift your veil as a chaste kiss is placed on your lips.

This was supposed to be a day of joy.

Said fingers begin to trail down your body, and more sobs begin to shake your body. When you think about it, this might be the first time you felt his skin touch your own. Zhongli has always dressed conservatively, even covering his hands with his gloves. Thinking about it longer makes your skin crawl.

This was supposed to be--

Zhongli hums appreciatively into your collarbone as he slips your wedding garb off your shoulders, your world collapses and dims, with only a haunting amber light as your guide.

#yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #yandere zhongli #me: how much worldbuilding can i fit in this fic #my work

[ssa-steverogers]

𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙨

pairing ╏ aaron hotchner x female!reader

word count ╏ 2.4k

summary ╏ a couple years have passed, and aaron and reader begin to question their status; inspired by two ghosts by harry styles

warnings ╏ none (?) please tell me if i missed anything x

note ╏ guys. i haven't written fanfics for like three years!1!!1!1! so i apologize in advance for any mistakes and grammar errors! i do hope you enjoy though! and also for the sake of the fic, jack and haley don't exist sorry guys lol and the ending is kind of bonk bonk but leave a like, comment, or reblog if you want! <3

I couldn’t pick up the phone. I sat back on the chair in the apartment we bought a couple years ago. But it tasted bittersweet just thinking about it; something I was supposed to cherish but couldn’t. The two plates of food on the table were now dull. What was once smoking and bled with heat was now encrusted in a dry film; unappetizing.

The phone continued to ring. Once. Twice. A pause. Once. Twice. Three times. But after the eleventh call, I figured he stopped. Aaron had forgotten his key that morning. It's almost humorous how he could tell the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath in his sleep but forgot the simplest things like our house key. And our fifth anniversary.

Earlier today, I had asked Aaron to go home early. But even after five years of marriage, eight of living together, and ten of dating, he couldn’t seem to care less of my whereabouts lately. Distracted, distant, and rigid.

“Hotch,” I swung into his dimly lit office earlier that day, “I'm going to be headed home early tonight. I-“

“Alright, see you at home,” Aaron continued writing his paperwork and took half a second to glance up at me. It’s unclear if he meant to cut me off or not but it didn’t matter because it would’ve hurt either way. Distant, I thought. A quick look at his office and nothing would’ve seemed different but I thought I saw more clutter than usual.

“Okay, well... I’ll see you tonight. Don’t be late!” I tried to look past it, for now. I blew a kiss his way and he looked up to smile at me briefly. The smile reached his eyes but I couldn't tell if it was genuine. His pen didn’t stop writing. Distracted, I thought. “Bye, I love you,” I breathed out and quickly shut the door, walking out to gather my stuff. I didn’t wait for his reply; unsure if he even had one. I wondered what he’d say. And if it’d hurt more than what his words didn’t say.

Looking at my watch on the way to my desk, it was half past four and it was clear to say that no one was done with paperwork yet.

“Where are you going?” Spencer questions, catching Emily’s attention. She looks up from her pile of work as well.

“Well, things to do and places to be,” I smiled at the two, putting my tablet into my bag. I grabbed my gun from my drawer and put it to my holster. Emily smiled knowingly. She knew it was me and Aaron’s fifth anniversary. Emily even helped pick out the perfect outfit for tonight’s homemade dinner. She also knew about Aaron’s behavior lately. We both thought of it and we discussed every scenario except the worst one yet. He wouldn’t do that to me, I would think to myself, not after what Haley did to him. It was the unspoken what if that I wasn't ready to swallow yet.

Emily and Spencer waved me goodbye and she wished me good luck, along with a smile that was poisoned in pity. I was almost entirely sure it wasn’t on purpose but I wasn’t sure of anything at that point. I walked out the door, into the elevator, and it felt so repetitive. The same elevator every day, the same building every day, living the same life every single day. I’d casually mention to Aaron how the repetition felt like a lot sometimes over paperwork in our office at home and he’d hum quietly. Maybe in agreement. We both loved our job. The same thing every time; but we were saving lives. Maybe it was the effect of his changed behavior. Maybe he felt it because he thought my behavior changed as well.

The same thing every time; coming home separately, even though we used to come back together. We were drifting and although it wasn’t the first time, we always resolved it. Things happen and we’d come out stronger and I had never had a doubt. Sometimes the job was hard and I was there for him, and he was there for me but it was different this time. He'd come home late and I'd be asleep by the time he got back. Then, I started to do paperwork at the local coffee shop and he’d be sitting in our office, waiting for me to get back.

No words would be exchanged once we were together for the night. Maybe a ‘hey’ or ‘how was your day?’ and then a simple ‘good.’ We’d both change our clothes and get into the bed. We were getting further and further away every night in bed. Too exhausted to think of words for this odd place we were in. Sometimes he'd hug me and take a deep breath and I'd release a breath I didn't know I was holding. Something was just not working this time. Trust your gut, Aaron used to say to me when I first joined the BAU. My gut told me that this couldn’t keep on going at the rate this seemed to be deteriorating.

All these moments led to right now. The phone rings beside me as Aaron waits outside in the drizzling rain at eight o’clock, without the key that he forgot this morning. I unlocked my phone to read the messages exchanged earlier tonight.

today 7:40

y/n: hey aaron are you still at the office?

love: Yes, is there something going on?

y/n: aaron

love: Yes?

y/n: oh you forgot, didn’t you?

love: Forgot?

y/n: aaron, it’s our anniversary?

read 7:46

I purse my lips and wonder if he still loves me. Of course, he does, my mind wanders, would he have been with you for ten years if he didn’t? I chuckle sadly. The food on the table now cold, the outfit Emily and I chose doesn’t seem so perfect anymore. The candles on the tables nearly half melted. The dining room looked eerie now, sitting by myself on a Thursday night with two uneaten plates of food with candles nearly burnt out.

That’s when I hear him knocking on the door gently.

“Y/N? Please let me in. I didn't forget, I just,” Aaron’s sigh is muffled by the door but I hear it clear as day when I get out of my seat and walk up to the door. I think he hears me walking to the front and continues. “I was distracted. Something isn’t right between us right now and we should talk about it. I’m sorry, Y/N, please let me in so we can talk.” I sigh in defeat and unlock the door, slowly. The door opens and his hair is flat from the rain, briefcase tucked under his arm with his phone in the other hand. But his posture isn’t as upright as it usually is – he probably knows he fucked up. I wonder if he’s been profiling me from my texts, or my current body language even though we promised we wouldn’t do that to each other.

He walks through the threshold of this house but his eyes don’t waver from mine as he sets his stuff down and puts his gun away in the drawer. A glimmer of his keys reflects the light in the drawer. It’s almost funny, how he remembers his gun but not his keys even though they were in the exact same place. It makes me wonder about the integrity of our situation and if he had left the keys on purpose.

I walk to the dining table with the food I made and turn away from Aaron. I’m not sure about what to say. I've obviously been avoiding this conversation for quite some time and even after all this procrastination; I still don’t even know what to say. I hear Aaron's footsteps from behind me and I wait to see if he has anything to say. After I'm sure that he doesn’t, I begin.

“Aaron,” I turn around to face him. I smile grimly, feeling tears prickle at the back of my eyes and it hurts to swallow, “What the hell happened to us?” Aaron stands there, arms crossed and a hand on his chin. Crossing arms suggests closing yourself off and is a gesture of defensiveness. “What happened to our Thursday night dates? Aaron- I don’t- I mean,” I struggle to complete a sentence when millions of thoughts are racing through my head, “I know you’re not happy. Sure, maybe everyone thinks that you don’t show a lot of emotion but I know you and you have a tell for specific things. When was the last time we really talked about how we felt about us? C’mon, Aaron, who are we bullshitting? We weren’t communicating and you know that it’s one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship.”

“Why are you using past tense?” Aaron asks and he’s doing the face he only gives to people he thinks are suspicious.

“What are you talking about? And why are you giving me that face?” I pause and Aaron tries to cut in but I get to it first. I make a face and pull my eyebrows together. “Are you profiling me right now?”

Aaron looks taken aback at my comment. “Are you?” Oh. When I don’t say anything he continues, “You’re using past tense when you mention our… marriage and relationship. If you have anything you want to say you should say it now. There really isn’t a better time,” His voice grows cold on me, the same way he does to unsubs we interrogate. I don’t think the ice in his tone is intentional but he probably can’t help it. He’s right though, should I confirm my suspicions? I don’t want to hear his answer to my question in fear that it might be the wrong one. But he is right, this conversation is long overdue.

“Are you cheating on me?” I breathe out at once. “Are you?” The tears are getting harder and harder to hold back and time seems to move slower by the second.

“Y/N, what? No, I'm not! Why would you think that? I could never do that to you. You know about Haley and how she cheated! And you think I'd do that to you?”

“You were just distant lately and-“

“Distant?” He pauses, I know he wouldn’t interrupt me if not necessary so I let him go on, “Y/N, so are you. I didn't think you were cheating. I thought you needed time and that I needed mine. I had thought about what you had said a couple weeks ago about how repetitive life felt.” I nodded at his words. “You’re not the only one who thinks that.” A pang of guilt radiates in my chest, because I think we both know how this was going to end.

“Okay,” I say.

“Okay?”

“Okay.” I walk a little closer to him and cradle his face in my hands. He rubs circles on my wrists, caressing me and I do the same to his face. Tears are spilling from my eyes, down my cheeks, “Aaron Hotchner, I love you more than anything in this whole entire fucking world. I know you love me and that I love you but you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met in my life and we both know what’s coming. It’s been unspoken for too long, I know that. But whatever happens, you have to know that I love you. We had our good days,” I look around to see picture frames on the walls of our relationship in earlier stages. Smiling, dancing, laughing. I remember each and every one of the pictures and thinking that this would be the man I would love for the rest of my days. “And we had bad days. There will never come a day that I forget all the wonderful things that we had. I’m using past tense now because I think-“

“I think you’re right,” Aaron quietly cuts me off. “We’re not the people we used to be. We’ve changed but we can’t grow like this. I love you too, more than words will ever be able to encompass but maybe we’re feeling stuck, not bored or repetitive.” I want to say something for the hell of being a couple for probably the last moments but I don’t want to stray far from the truth. Aaron’s eyebrows turn downwards a bit and his eyes are glimmering with tears. He envelopes my body in his and leaves a quiet kiss on my hairline.

I take a deep breath of air, trying to savor this moment for the rest of my life. My face is wet from tears and they won’t stop falling. I hiccup from the crying in his grasp so he plays with my hair fondly and almost inaudibly hums to me.

“Will we be okay? I mean,” A hiccup, or three. “I don’t want either of us to leave the BAU because of this but also will we be okay? In terms of feelings and… well, more feelings.”

“Of course,” Aaron begins. “I don’t love you any less but we both agree that things will be better this way. We just... go back to how it used to be before you asked me to a drink for the first time,” I can feel his small grin as he leans against my head. Being reminded of that day hurts now, but it has for a while anyway. I wonder if I hadn’t asked him to that drink one night after a local case, if we’d be where we are now. But I know everything here was nothing less than fate itself and that I probably shouldn’t dwell on what if’s.

And so after some moments of silence for something that would soon be gone, we stand underneath the dim lights of the dining room. Aaron holds me against his chest as we look at the candles on the table. They’re both burnt out. There’s no light there anymore. The candle has melted onto the chamberstick, leaving long trails of wax.

I hold him a little tighter and he does the same to me. I don’t know what the future holds but our two halves have drifted too far to come back together and that’s okay. I know things will be weird for a while but it’ll be okay.

“It’ll be okay,” I whisper under my breath. For the sake of us, we'd leave it here. Once upon a time, we were younger and more naive, better for each other then. But we're older now and we're stuck. Just two ghosts standing in the place of him and me.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron #aaron x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid #hotch #hotch x reader #criminal minds fic #emily prentiss #derek morgan #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch x y/n #hotch x you #david rossi #jennifer jareau

[intothehawkseyes]

The Dancer in the Moonlight - Dracule Mihawk x Female OC/Reader (N.S.F.W)

hello, it's been 84 years... but i'm here to update this fanfic uwu

warnings: alcohol

word count: 3k

ao3, spirit (português)

if you are a new reader, you can find the first chapter here and welcome, i hope you enjoy it! to the older readers, i hope you forgive me for the late update and keep interested :( but the next chapter will be coming up sooner than this one and will be nsfw!

but, have a good read, and comments are greatly welcome and sorry for any mistake!!! <3

A legend was heard over the seas and on land about an event that changed the lunar cycle of an entire island. According to what was said, on a night of strong storm, a woman goes into labor at sea, alone, in a small sailing boat. Right after the first baby cry, the waves stop and the moon that lit up behind dense clouds begins to make room for the biggest star. Astonished, the island's inhabitants watch the postpartum woman return safely with the baby in her arms, while trying to understand how someone could survive in a small boat in the middle of a storm at sea, as they have never witnessed such a phenomenon. In addition to the miraculous birth, they also saw the sun entering the moon's front, leaving them even more open-mouthed. The most emotional ones say that the eclipse happened because the baby would be the “Heir of the Moon”, and the Sun was the first guest to visit her at her birth. And even within the legend, from that moment on, the location of the island simply disappeared from all compasses, preventing people from going after the truth, thus putting the child's safety at risk, as it was graced by a strange power coming from the Moon, and could attract a lot of malicious people. However, with the passage of time, the legend fell into the oblivion of adults and became just a story for children.

Even though there is no evidence as to the veracity of the correlation with the legendary island, as it is no more than a fictional story, there is actually an island named Gesshoku¹, which is well known for producing the best wines, and many believe that this one island is the same one present in the story and the speculation comes from the suggestive name that surrounds the natural satellite – so present in the legend – and the fact that it does not appear in any compass.

However, although it seemed complicated to go there, it is not difficult to find pirates who have visited Gesshoku Island, and it is said to be located on the edge of the Grand Line, at a point where the ocean waters are treacherous, making many vessels diverted to the Calm Belt, making the adventure extremely dangerous.

Regardless of what is real or fiction, whether there is any heir to the Moon with strange powers or not, I went to Gesshoku Island just for the wine.

Contrary to all the rumors surrounding arriving on the island at the risk of being thrown to a stationary place and loaded with kings of the seas, my trip was smooth, and I got there without any harm.

The first thing I noticed upon arriving was the hospitality of the locals. Everyone always with smiles on their faces ready to welcome each foreigner who docked their boats and ships in the port. With me it was no different, something that was not always the case as I was usually received by crossed and contemptuous looks. Still, I left my boat moored in a strategic, remote corner, always on the lookout in case something went wrong along the way.

I went there with the script already decided. First I would look for an inn to stay in, and leave my little luggage and soon after I would go to a winery to learn more about wine making and only then would I go out in search of information about the place and its customs. However, the energy of the island, which I hadn't identified right away, meant that plans were all put aside so that fate would define each visitor's itinerary. I was no exception.

The first sign that my itinerary was not going to work was when all the inns and hotels were full, I only got a place very far from the central area, which made me frustrated, but the room was clean, spacious and quiet, so I stayed right there. The second sign was that the wineries were closed due to a pest that had spread to almost all the vines, resulting in a considerable reduction in the production of wines.

Maybe I should have checked out of the inn at that moment, but I insisted, because the trip, although calm, had been long and I wouldn't waste money and time like that.

Resigned, I stopped in front of a bar and for a quick glance I saw a rather presentable cellar. I entered. And it was in this bar that I would come to know the lady of my life and the one responsible for my misfortune, even if she wasn't aware of it at that point.

♚♛

I was just sipping the wine, alert enough not to be caught off guard, but not enough to pay attention to the unrestrained in and out of the bar. I just wanted to relax and enjoy the moment of peace presented to myself after so many setbacks. However, my peace was shaken when, in a fraction of a second, and in the rare glances I gave the establishment's door, my eyes caught the figure of a woman who entered the place. She would be just another random customer that would leave my mind the instant she was no longer within sight of my eyes if it weren't for her imposing way of carrying herself. Something about her made my eyes nab at her image, maybe it was the elegant way of tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, or the almost sensual way of crossing her legs – quite attractive, by the way –, and straightening her posture as she sat in the front chair at the counter after ordering.

It was involuntary the way I followed her every gesture with my eyes. I can't explain it, but I just couldn't take my eyes off that woman. She chatted amiably with the bartender, like good old friends, and my curiosity and desire to get closer to her only grew as she tilted her head back to laugh at something the man had said to her. She was unusually different from other women, who carried themselves in a restrained manner, always hiding their mouths with their hands when they laughed. But that stranger didn't seem to care what others might say, she acted spontaneously, in such a way that it would be impossible not to notice her. Despite the flashy aura emanating from her, I seemed to be the only one affected there. I reined in my instincts and turned my attention to my wine, which no longer tasted so good, still intrigued that I had been so uneasy in the presence of this strange lady.

Though I tried not to look at her too much, I still wasn't able to contain the urge to take a few furtive glances in the direction she was sitting and talking to the attendant, condemning me for acting like a fool because she didn't seem to have the same interest in me, since she hadn't even looked at where I was, as her friend had sometimes done.

But to my surprise, before I could leave my seat to settle my bill, she was quicker to get up, still looking at the bartender, and pointing to a bottle of wine that was in a prominent place, which was one of those that should be opened on very special occasions. Which seemed to be the case with her, since she said out loud – too loud – that this was a special night and that she wouldn't be tasting the wine alone. After that, she straightened her robes before grabbing the bottle and leaving the bar, this time holding my gaze with those unreadable eyes.

I was never a man to prioritize dating – that's not exactly the right word to describe my relationships with the opposite gender, although I kept my sex life active as much as possible. I've also never been stubborn about moving mountains to get someone. I have always been objective and valued for mutual interest. When I had the need to indulge myself sexually with a woman, I specifically went out looking for it. However, the instant that mysterious lady entered the same bar I was in, my focus completely changed. I felt an itch grow in my lower belly and a restlessness took possession of my being.

After she left the establishment with that bottle of wine, her words began to echo in my mind with an undertone of reproach to my fixation. Surely she would have a boyfriend or even be married, I figured. So I put it in the back of my mind, in a place with difficult access, and headed towards the inn to take a shower and then decide to go back to my house. This island had already brought me enough trouble and I wasn't about to face another one.

And once again something stopped my plans.

Along the way, I heard the voices of three children whispering to each other, as if they were deciding who would approach someone. When I get angry and turn around to tell the three of them to shut up, my eyes lock on the tiny figure of a girl of about nine or ten years old, and I completely forget the reprimand for being amazed at the child's stark resemblance to the woman from the bar.

"Hello you!!" she says in a small voice, forcing a sympathetic smile. “Today there's going to be a festival here, can you attend…?”, she tried to formulate sentences while nervously gesturing with her hands, which were holding a crumpled piece of paper. “Here! It's tonight, don't go away because there will be good wine!” she said before throwing the crumpled paper near my feet, which I assumed was so I could pick it up and read it, and run off with the other two boys who were with her. In the distance I could hear them questioning what their sister had seen in a man so terrifying that he had made her fall in love.

I would have ignored the paper if I hadn't overheard such a conversation. So I picked it up and stuffed it into my pocket and headed to the inn, this time succeeding in my goal.

♚♛

After my shower, I rested in the lounging chair while reading a book I had picked up in the small library of the inn where I talked about the island. A curious thing was the value they placed on their customs and pride in their local culture.

Although focused on reading, my mind diverged on how interesting was the existing variety of children's books about the child "Heir of the Moon" in all ways, illustrated, in comic book form, short stories, lullabies and etc., which made me wonder if Gesshoku Island couldn't really be home to such a legend.

But that aside, I finished reading the book and intended to take it back to the library. The piece of paper given to me by the child earlier fell with a photo of one of my overcoat pockets as soon as I picked it up. This time I paid attention to it. It was a pamphlet about the festival and information, no biggie. However, the possibility that that woman was there crossed my mind, and this idea only intensified when I noticed that the photo that had fallen next to the brochure, which I deduced had been purposely placed there, was of a young woman with unreadable eyes, the same ones that met mine at the bar.

Maybe a festival wasn't such a bad thing. I was there for the distraction, after all. With that in mind, I gained the inn hallway and headed toward the library.

♚♛

When the sun was already fading over the horizon, from the window of the room I was staying in, I could see a crowd taking on an increasingly voluminous shape. The winemakers were already preparing to open the best wines from their respective cellars to offer their customers and also juices for those who were not old enough to drink alcoholic beverages.

The festival took place once a year, from what I've read about the island's culture, and there was no specific day, just so that any obstacles would not prevent the event from happening – such as the last one in which a plague spread through the winery –, and so that the strangers present would not return home without knowing the most valuable thing the island could offer.

I stayed on the porch just as an observer, I wasn't in the mood to face that crowd of people, although I wanted to taste a good wine, I knew that place was exceptional for that. So I preferred to wait patiently for the right time and also when the excitement of the beginning of the party calmed down a little. Furthermore, the best wines would be the last to be opened, as it was a way of holding as many people as possible.

Between glances at the movement below, I caught the moment when the three children from earlier appeared in the crowd. With the same energy, but much more excited. Even though I was a considerable distance away, I could see them passing each booth to look at the treats while a young woman approached them to pay for what they ordered. And the lady was the same one from the bar, as I thought.

And that was my cue for me to enjoy the festival too.

Lucky for me, people were too busy enjoying the festivities and entertaining the festival's attractions. I was one more among so many people, and so I went unnoticed by any enemies who were there. With this feeling of tranquility, I was also able to enjoy it in my own way, in a more remote location.

After a while there, I was able to feel much more at ease. The island's atmosphere and energy were welcoming and made anyone feel at home. Maybe it was the way the locals treated the outsiders, with a lot of sympathy and smiles, or maybe it was the wine I had drunk but any irritation caused by the adversities throughout the day seemed to have completely disappeared and I tasted of a tranquility that only then I felt when I was in my house.

After just watching the coming and going of people, between sips of wine and another, my eyes caught the moment when a cluster of people formed around an enigmatic figure of a woman. Before I could think too hard or try to figure out her identity, the dancer began a shy, slow dance. The restrained gestures were encouraged by the small audience around her and they began to create a firmer and more precise form. The way that woman was gesturing was familiar to me, but I didn't try to remember as I wanted to watch it. I must admit that I carry a fascination with dancing with me, although I've never talked about it with anyone. It's really interesting to see how someone manages to use their body to express themselves, which was the case in the middle of the festival. The dancer in question seemed to have mastered the art of dancing and was in full control of every member of her body, as the dance had steps that only someone with a lot of training could reproduce, and these were performed with such skill that they looked as smooth as a feather. .

As I was far away, almost hidden in the dimness, the dancing woman had her back to me, so I only had a view of her back, which was covered in light, thin fabrics that reminded her of veils and that hid her body curves. But the feeling of familiarity only increased as the dance progressed to a climax, and at that moment the person turned and as if it were predestined, our eyes met and it was as if everything had cleared: it was the girl from the bar.

Even though her eyes were covered by a kind of transparent mask, I would have recognized them from yards away. And the moment she noticed my presence, her movements abruptly changed. If before they were firm and precise, now they seemed much looser and more sensual. The dance took another turn and my sanity was almost taken with it.

The dancer did not lose focus as she changed the tone of her dance, quite the contrary, the transition was made so smoothly that it was not noticeable. Still hidden in my personal space almost in darkness, my eyes followed her every movement of her hips and my mind immersed in nasty thoughts. Her silhouette wasn't well defined due to her fabrics, but that didn't stop me from tracing her in my imagination. She used her hands too, with her eyes locked on mine, gesturing as if inviting me to join her, and as soon as she changed direction, breaking our eye contact, and unpretentiously she moved and the fabrics fluttered so that I got a glimpse of her curves for milliseconds, but enough to take my breath away. She really knew what she was doing and used all her weapons to get what she wanted. I just let myself go.

However, her dancing not only caught my attention, but also some pirates present there, who began to direct her obscene words, which she didn't seem to hear, as she didn't change her way of dancing for even a second. I continued as a passive spectator, just watching the unfolding of the event, she continued the dance and I kept my attention on her, and the pirates too, until the point came that one of them dared to invade the dancer's personal space and from that what unfolded was very fast: a very loud popping noise and the power outage that lasted for less than thirty seconds, but when everything lit up again, the dancer was no longer on her stage and in her place only one purple pink smoke poured from the floor. It was a cheap trick, but it was effective because the pirates were like dizzy cockroaches trying to figure out where the woman had gone.

She had come towards me, I just felt her presence sneak past me leaving a trail of soft perfume and a touch on my hand causing a new shiver down my spine, out of the corner of my eye I saw her disappearing once and for all into the darkness.

Still a little dizzy from the alcohol, but much more sober than before, I made my way to the inn room where I would check-out.

I made the journey slowly, packed my things and took a new shower to chase away any traces of drunkenness and left the place after paying off the bill and headed towards the place where my boat was moored, not without first searching all the places in search of the woman who had disturbed my mind all day, not finding her. Resigned, I decided to leave.

I unhitched it and advanced the boat towards the ocean that would take me back home, but before I could make my way home I saw her finally. This time she was sitting on the dock, as if waiting for someone, and unlike the baggy clothes that hid her curves, she now wore a tight red dress, fully defining her voluptuous figure. Beside her was the bottle of wine she'd picked up earlier at the bar and two crystal glasses. I risked walking past her, and I didn't have to do anything to get her attention, because as soon as she looked at me and gave me a crystalline smile. Seeing her up close, she looked even more beautiful.

We didn't say anything, as if we understood each other mutely, she held out the wine and glasses to me and I picked them up and set them down in a corner of the boat and then it was time to put her there. I pulled her around the waist and now she was much closer to me and I was now able to see every detail of her face. As beautiful as the full moon that illuminated the entire island imposingly.

#mihawk x you #mihawk x reader #mihawk imagine #op boys imagine #one piece #dracule mihawk #one piece mihawk #mihawk x oc #hawkeye mihawk #lunar eclipse part 2 #lunar eclipse chapter 2 #one piece imagine #mihawk x y/n

[dreamyaqua]

Helloooo~!! I'm the same person who talked about Hyunjae and Haknyeon's rising signs! When I first wrote it, I wasn't deep into astrology yet. I've researched and tried to learn more about the Greek gods, the mythology, planets and associations to better my understanding. So, this time, I present all 23 members of NCT. To form an opinion on this, I watched their personal variety on their YT channel, took note of their physical habits and appearance, and read first impression stories. (1)

Also, don't worry about answering this right away! I just got very excited and wanted to share this :DD we currently have 5 members with confirmed risings; Johnny, Taeyong, Kun, Doyoung and Jaehyun. That's 18 members left, still! Also, I relied much more on their first impressions of each other as well as their appearance, habits and their neutral face because idols put up an act, which is enforced by their company. I'm running out of words so– (2)

(I decided to put the rest under a cut as the ask has gotten really long and I also put your asks together in regards to each member, I hope that’s okay!^^)

First up, Taeil! My first guesses for him were Scorpio (ruled out immediately lol), Capricorn and Taurus. I went with Capricorn at the end. Taeil just has a home-y, fatherly aura which Earth signs have. According to the members, he has that strong vibe that makes you want to learn from him. And we know that Capricorn is ruled by law and structure loving planet, Saturn. Saturn is associated with Cronus and Hestia. (3) Hestia is peace and home while Cronus was briefly the ruler of all. So, in short, a parent. Taeil as NCT's grandpa is accepted by many czennies. Which fits well. A typical Capricorn rising could have a petite stature as well as a wide-ish body type. Earth risings do tend to be stocky. Lips are usually either thin and wide or round but when they smile it's bright and feels familiar. It all starts from home~ Next up, Yuta! (4)

Yuta? Scorpio rising. I did try to see if he fits anywhere else but landed right back to Scorpio. One main reason, when he smiles, it's real. His healing and genuine smile is definitely a Scorpio rising trait. He's also pretty quiet in general but can get wild *insert clip of Yuta and Taeyong's chair race* and maybe even stir things up. Scorpio is associated with, Hades. Hades is generally a warm soul unlike his gruesome depictions. He's just a peaceful yet lonely guy. When he loves he LOVES (5) Traits seen in our double Scorpio royalty, Yuta. Winwin, Mark, Shotaro and Jungwoo is his Kore and Cerberus (you decide who's who). 

Easy tackle, now we've got Ten! Your local cat mom. As I say that, I guess Leo. Leo risings have feline features and traits, which Ten definitely has. When you watch his relay cam, his day's pretty chill and made more fun by his cats. They're just positive morning people and Ten really has that effect. Leo is associated with Apollo and Heracles (and more). (6) Apollo's a talented man (if you read Lore Olympus, I just hope you don't associate those characters with the actual deities) and so is Heracles. What do they have in common with Ten? Well, both Apollo and Ten are artistic, gifted with languages, and talented in music. With Heracles? Well, we know he's a hero, an ace. Leo is also the sun. The core of our system. We can definitely agree on Ten being NCT's talented ace, which all supports my guess of him as a Leo rising. Next, Winwin.

My first guesses for Winwin were either an Aries or Leo rising. Though, at the end, I settled for Aries. The entirety of NCT is in love (obviously, exaggerated) with Winwin, and fire signs naturally have that magnetism. Aries rules the head area, and one frequent habit of Winwin's is scratching his head. He also tends to put his head forward (called a nerd neck, due to book reading) which is typical of an Aries rising. He also appeals with his eyes when he wants something, also very Aries. Winwin as an Aries rising just feels true and self-explanatory. 

Next on our list is Jungwoo. A total Slytherin. Be a fool and fall for them, I dare you–oh never mind, you already have. Safe to say that Jungwoo is a Libra rising. Libra is Aphrodite afterthewholebeingbornoutofcastratedtesticlesthenformedfromseafoamshenanigans. We all know that Librans are pretty people. So pretty it's sickening, I'm getting too personal now. BACK ON TOPIC. I also had the thought of him being a Leo– I mean, if you've seen NCT World, Jungwoo definitely shone. Leos and Libras are similar in my opinion so it could be why I'm so unsure about it. Not many know but Aphrodite is a war goddess. Her role is very watered down, maybe because war was just not sexy to the Ancient Greeks. Still, Aphrodite conquered hearts, and Jungwoo has that main stage. Life is like a runway, especially with the way he walks. He also loves connections and making people laugh, both an Aphrodite and Apollo trait. Reason why I settled for Libra is that the first impressions of Jungwoo is that he looks serious, radiated sophistication but also wild. Aphrodite, being a magnetic and adventurous (iykwim) mad lad, has a definite influence on Jungwoo.

The next member is Lucas (12 more to go!). Lucas tries his best to make people happy. He loves seeing people be happy. And seeing how he says sorry when things don't seem to be exciting or done his usual way, I'm convinced he's a Libra rising.

I've written notes down but I have school so I'll complete this after LMAO

Back (new classes today so I'm hnghh). Okay, Mark! I believe he's where I left off. Mark is an Aries rising opinion. Also, while trying to hunt for their birth times, I stumbled upon someone saying Mark's birth time is 10:34pm. I tried it and it was Aries rising! Some habits that Mark does that's total Aries; touchy, laughs a lot, swears more than most, loud personality. He also has the Aries t-zone. His lovely gullbrows~

Next, Xiaojun. I was honestly stuck on him until I watched a fancam of him walking to the airport. His steps seem very grounded. Possibly, Taurus. I also thought he was a Scorpio and Leo but with the way Xiaojun gets defensive doesn't feel very water or fire (Aries is an exception). Xiaojun also enjoys food and cooking. He finds comfort in work, likes the easy way better, he's also quite practical. He's also hardworking. Probably either finishes homework the day it gets handed or when he's stressed. No in between. (I erased everything, I wrote by accident...) 

Hendery has the Air sign look and also the Earth sign vibe but in the end, I settled for Sagittarius. Why? Well, Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter (Zeus) and we all know that Zeus can get impulsive. Hendery seems to be so. Sag is also associated Dionysus, the stereotypical wild "people love people" drunk. Which Hendery also seems to be so. That's all for him. Next up Renjun.

Renjun has a habit of scratching or just touching his ear and head, his fight instinct is on 24/7, gets frustrated when something doesn't go right, very attentive when people tell stories, uses his whole body when laughs (stomping, throwing his neck back like it don't break). I guess he's either a Gemini, Pisces or Aries. The easily bored so they make chaos but also is helpful when needed trio, Hermes, Poseidon and Ares. Renjun just has a distinct style I can't pinpoint. No solid guess.

Dream's papa, Jeno. I believe he's a Capricorn rising. He just has that long faced, big nosed and intense eyes that Capricorn risings, from what I've observed, tend to have. I've also took up Libra and Taurus as other options but I went with Cap. Even if his go-to noises is confusion. I probably don't make 100% sense but I hope it's good enough. Anyway, Jeno has a potential to become a leader and Caps are great leaders. Not perfect but great. He also has some competitiveness in him.

7 more left! Haechan's turn! Haechan really does twist and turn people's heads. He could be a Gemini rising, mostly because he uses his hands whenever he talks, laughs, sing. He's also a trickster. Maybe Scorpio since he has that rbf and the presence that makes you quiver when you meet him in person. Another possibility is Aries, he's wild, impatient and banter skills are top notch. His silhouette either looks Arian or Scorpian. Face, Geminian or Arian. What do you think? 

Next, Na Jaemin. Virgo rising. Jaemin knows how to smile, like he knows how to attract people with it, and we all know his smile is beautiful. He also has that motherly attitude towards his friends. A total introvert as well and is just calm (but can get naggy and fastidious). CEO at eye rolling, even if habitual and unintentional. GenZ Artemis. 

Next, Yangyang. I'm dead sure on him being a Cancer. The way he walks is so baby? and my Cancer rising friends tend to do little skips and sometimes waddle. Whenever an opportunity arises, he takes it. He also enjoys comfort. These may be Taurus rising traits as well (they're similar in many ways) but when I watched ETC, Yangyang seems to have a protective side. A clingy side. So, I went with Cancer. 

Shotaro is next! Always smiling, gentle voice, admires people and loves fun. Libra. A possibility is Aries. This is based on appearance. Arians tend to have weak chins (chins that don't stick out). He also has the "always look forward to tomorrow" vibe.

I-I don't remember who's next...

I suddenly forgot what I wrote before this. I should've planned this. SUNGCHAN. My Virgo buddy. When I first saw him his vibe screamed Virgo, he just had that short face Virgos tend to have. It's a mutable sign so it tends to get overpowered but every virgo I know has a short face despite being different ascendants. I was struggling figuring him out but I decided on Pisces. I'll be taking a stretch here. So descendant is how a person views the world. His being Virgo. Sungchan seems to look at the world as structured so he could feel the want to rebel. He seems to enjoy chaos but probably helps mediate the situation for the sake of doing so. My thoughts are slowly getting tangled.

CHENLE. Chenle's a virgo rising and mostly because his rbf is piercing. He always looks like he's observing and silently judging people. It makes more sense for him to be a Scorpio as well. Yes, he's bright and fun but Scorpios do have that side. Just more serious and a lot of roasting.

FINALLY THE MAKNAE. Jisung Park. Libra rising. He just likes peace but when he's chaotic, he'd want you to match his vibe. A balance, in a way. He also seems to get frustrated/stressed easily, gullible, awkward hands, and he's always quite pretty. Calming to look at. That's all. What do you think their signs are? I want hear your opinion :DD Also, I hope your exams went well!! You probably put in your 100% best so of course it did!!

//

First of all, thank you so much for your support! My exams actually went well and I’m so relieved I got it all over with for this semester.^^ And now, as you’ve already noticed in an ask I’ve answered earlier, I don’t cover NCT on this blog and therefore, I haven’t really given their rising signs much thought so far, so I’m not going to really have an opinion myself but I wanted to thank you so much for your hard work with all of this and for sharing it with us!! It was super interesting to read and I can only say that I think all of guesses make sense to me.

As a Leo rising myself, I felt super flattered while reading Ten’s paragraph - I’d feel super honoured to share my rising sign with him and I also feel like his energy is familiar to me, so I could totally believe that to be true!^^ And also, omg, I’d love for Yangyang to be a Cancer rising! I seem to attract Cancer risings left and right and he’s recently become one of my ults, so that would be great :’) (I’ll definitely start to analyze him more in the near future haha)

Oh, oh!! Btw, my close friend @jacksvnshine made a very in-depth analysis of Mark’s possible rising sign and she guessed him to be an Aries rising like you did! She’s so amazing at what she does and if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t know a thing about astrology. So I can highly recommend checking out her blog and I also really want to link her analysis for you here as you might find it interesting to read, and it’s exceptionally well made!^-^

I’m sorry that I can’t really give you my opinion on their rising signs, I haven’t studied them enough in that sense :( and I personally struggle with rising sign guesses because I always feel like I don’t know enough to make an “accurate” guess but oh well- a guess is a guess, we can never know for sure but my mind doesn’t really want to accept that. :’)

I truly enjoyed reading through your messages and guesses, thank you again for sharing this with us!! I’m sure there’ll be others who’ll find it interesting to read as well!^-^

#astro asks #rising signs #nct rising signs #wayv rising signs #wayv #nct #kpop astrology #nct astrology #wayv astrology #ask

[cata-linaa]

Hello, how are you? Okay, well not gonna lie it's my first time requesting anything, so I would like to request a match-up. If possible. :) If I have any mistakes you are more than welcome to correct me or tell me to do it again.

I am 20 years old, female and from Germany. I study medicine, am in the 2nd year. I can speak five languages and am currently learning Icelandic - I don't know why to be all honest- and love to read and draw in my free time. I am also in a MMA club, it's my fourth year now -it's a miracle that I'm still alive, hahaha- and I've played football for seven years. Because of the pandemic we are not allowed to participate in any sports, so I'm rather at home and studying. I also love volleyball, not gonna lie, I've watched HQ because of it. I never played volleyball professionally but I would like to. The adrenaline when I play with some friends is indescribable! To my personality, well I am really "direct", if something doesn't add up in my mind I would not hesitate to tell my opinion. I am a really good listener and give amazing advices, in my 20 years I've been through a lot, my mind is like a 70 year old person's. Due some traumatic experiences, I've developed depression and its best friend anxiety. Even though I have the feeling that I have no friends -which I have but, I don't know how to explain, it's more like you try to keep the friendship up, ya know?- I have depression and anxiety right next to me as my friends, they come and go to check up on me can't deny their effort for that. Damn, I wrote a lot. However, to the last things, I have brown hair and hazel-green eyes. If you want to know anything else -which I don't think- Hahaha.

I wish you a nice day! ❤

hello hello! sorry this is so late, my life is VERY funny, and by funny i mean I’m a piñata, and life is a blindfolded child with their older sibling’s metal baseball bat. But i’m hopefully going back to my semi-sporadic schedule, maybe posting once every week or two, or if i’m feeling extra inspire-y i’ll do more :)

yo anon you’re legitimately one of the coolest people ever from this description alone my smoker lungs could never do sports tf i’m jealous-

anyways, are you ready…. to…..RUMBLLLLLLLEEEEE?!!!

i match you with… 

HAJIME IWAIZUMI (27) ATHLETIC TRAINER (woooooo!!)

Lucky lucky you!!! (this got very long I got carried away-)

Listen, I can already TELL this one is gonna be a good one

You’re a polyglot? He could listen to you speak all day, he would even try to help you learn another language with flash cards, even if he has no idea, you’re you, it’s important! 

He can’t draw, but he sits at the kitchen table with you nevertheless, and has some fancy art paper and materials for you (because you deserve it) and some 8x11 printer paper and a 12 pack of colored pencils he purchased form the local corner store. He often wants to draw you, the warped ms paint-looking drawings are quite charming, and you find yourself keeping them in your bag, or on your desk. 

You in turn, give him a portrait you drew over the course of a while to him as a part of a birthday gift, and he brings it wherever his job takes him, pressed neatly in a clipboard or notebook, he sometimes brushes his fingers over the lines drawn by you as if it was strands of your hair

Imagine this real quick: medicine??? Being an athletic trainer??? those studies are kind of similar, so y’all would meet in class hypothetically in the weird idea bank that is my head

Iwa is a complete sucker for interesting features in someone, green eyes? He will melt, and thinks about your eyes and how they light up when you smile, when you look at him he genuinely loses his train of thought and starts to lose his cool and stutter a little bit, oikawa teases him a lot about it, you two are close and 

it’s a match made in hell when you two go party together, and you guys have to get Iwa to come pick you guys up (i feel like every writer on here has made a post about this very scenario, its just canon at this point)

When you had your football games, (idk what position you play but i hope you mean the soccer kind of football bc thats what i’m imagining) he’s always at the edge of his seat on the side of the field, if you score a goal/block a goal he stands up and he’s cheering for you, or even better, when you look at him, he has the most supportive look In his eyes, and smiles at you, and shit, the other team knows they can’t stand a chance now. 

When you’re doing MMA, he finds that SO HOT PLS- 

Forbid if you ever get hurt while doing sports, he will run to your sides where he is watching you and make sure everything is okay, because he can’t have someone else go through that, not on his watch ouch lmao sorry

you two often play sports together in the park or something, maybe a morning run or two to keep yourselves active during the pandemic (can you tell i’ve barely ever even thought about athletics i’m so sorry) 

You guys definitely have one of those friend groups where you do shit like climb a mountain or do a bootcamp for fun and post it on social media

The two of you look GOOD in athleticwear together. 

strong people are his absolute weakness, both physical and mentally

When he sees you caught up in a rant, even if its about something serious, a part of him smiles, since that passionate energy is what attracted him to you in the first place

when you told oikawa that he looked ugly in the outfit he picked out, Iwa laughed so hard he couldn’t fucking BREATHE for like ten minutes

On a more serious note, when you’re not feeling your best, he stops everything to make you feel better. One call and he could be on the next car ride, bus, train, or flight home, ready to tell you that you are loved and valid. Everyone loves your presence, he reminds you, and if your’e comfortable with it, he invites oikawa and the rest of your friend group for a self-care/movie night, just to show you just how much everyone wants to be around and how they and him will just show up to you, no matter what. 

He’s your safe space, and wants to spend every part of his life with the thing that matters most- you. 

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #sea.matches #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #iwa chan #iwaizumi #hajime iwaizumi #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuuu matchup #hq iwaizumi #hq #iwaizumi x y/n

[freddieslater]

Rowing the Rarepair Rowboat: Enzo St. John x Maria DeLuca | Michael Quinn x Maggie James

Glancing up at the flashing neon sign above, Enzo doubts himself. Those damn travellers were so cryptic before they decided to spontaneously combust. The only thing they left behind was a note to him.

Find her. Roswell, New Mexico. Wild Pony.

For years, the thought of finding Maggie once he was finally free--because he was sure he would be, someday, somehow--was one of the only things that kept him going through it all. To thank her. To see that she got the life she deserved; a life full of love and happiness. A human life.

But a bar? She wanted to help people. He takes another quick look at the note, but sure enough, the sign reads the same name beneath the flashing image of a cowboy riding a horse.

Stuffing the slip of paper back into his jacket pocket, he shuts his car door and walks across the gravel to the entrance. He pulls the door open and steps inside.

The room's lit with soft lights, almost dim, just enough to feel welcoming. Chatter from the locals fills the air, a chuckle here or there from the tables. The quiet clatter of a pool cue hitting a ball over to his left, followed by a triumphant cheer and some lighthearted arguing.

He immediately decides that it's preferable over the Grill. Though perhaps that's because he's still unfamiliar here. Make a few enemies, specifically out of the bartender, and then it'll probably feel the same.

Not moving from the doorway, his eyes dart all across the room. They sweep from left to right, to right to left, taking in every face. None belonging to an elderly lady.

Disappointment sweeps through him briefly. Probably for the best, he thinks as the loud-mouthed rednecks at the pool table spout some distasteful language.

Ignoring them, he finally moves, making his way up to the back of the bar. Maybe the travellers sent him here to find one of her relatives, perhaps her child. Though he has no idea if he'd even recognize Maggie now, never mind a descendant of hers.

But when he reaches the bar and seeks out someone who'll be able to give him something to ease his frustrations, he stops dead. Proven wrong, it would seem, because he instantly recognizes the woman behind the bar, caught in the middle of a playful conversation with a rather tipsy man on a stool.

Except it's impossible. Not a feature has changed. She looks as young as the day he compelled her to forget him and walk out without ever looking back. Those dark eyes, so soft yet filled with life like a blazing match. The curve of her lips, that smile that filled his mind to replace the darkness everytime he closed his eyes.

It isn't possible. The only way...

His heart drops. He can't even stomach the thought. Compelling Maggie was meant to protect her, to keep her as far away from his world as possible. Unless she found another vampire more willing to turn her without knowing.

No. He refuses to believe that. But the proof is right there, undeniable. A relative, he tells himself. A daughter with an uncanny resemblance to her mother.

She notices him at last, her eyes flicking over to him. Straightening up and abandoning ber conversation in the process, she shoots him a warm, friendly smile that makes his throat close up.

"All right there?" she asks with a slight chuckle, eyeing him. "You look lost. Or like you've seen a ghost. Neither one uncommon here, surprisingly."

Enzo doesn't know what to say. He realizes she doesn't recognize him. Nothing in her expression or her eyes tells him she has the faintest idea who he is. Of course not, he chides himself. Because she's not Maggie.

"New in town, I take it?" she continues on anyway, apparently unbothered by his lack of response. "I know all of the local's faces; I should, considering I've lived here my whole life."

Something comes loose in his chest. Her whole life. Maggie wasn't from Roswell. There's a sinking feeling inside of him that he can't ignore no matter how he tries.

"Your whole life?" he hears himself ask faintly, forcing an interested smile onto his face. "Must really like this town."

The woman shrugs. "It's my home. But" --she leans both hands on the bar, grinning at him now with that same spark in her eyes-- "with an accent like that, I can see I was right in saying it's not yours."

Enzo huffs out a chuckle and nods. "You caught me. I've visited before, though. Couple times, long time ago."

Her eyebrows furrow the tiniest bit and her head tilts in curiosity as she stares at him. He can see her trying to recall him.

"Weird," she says after a beat. "I feel like there's no way I would forget someone like you..."

She trails off somewhat pointedly, expecting an introduction. He opens his mouth to give it despite his better judgment, but she beats him to it, holding a hand up to stop him.

"Wait, hold on, I'm psychic. Let me take a shot at this."

Her eyes are wide and excited, and he can barely bring himself to be fazed by the claim of being psychic. There's a snort from down the bar from the man she'd been talking to.

She rolls her eyes but otherwise ignores him, her attention fixated on Enzo. Keeping their gazes locked, her eyes narrow. It's taking everything in him not to give anything away. If she's really psychic, somehow, then that won't be a problem.

"I think that... your name is... Michael." As soon as the name falls from her lips, there's a guffaw from her friend and she groans. "Oh, tell me I'm wrong."

But Enzo's heart has stopped again. Michael was the name he had on his file when she was working at Augustine. Dr. Whitmore had taken him from the Air Force, while he was still under his alias of Captain Michael Quinn. It's what Maggie knew him as him until he confessed his real name a few months before she left.

"Just can't get me off your mind, can you, DeLuca?" her friend says, evidently enjoying himself a great deal. He turns to Enzo. "I'm Michael, by the way. The person that the lovely Maria here claims to despise, and yet..."

He waves a hand as if providing all the evidence he needs to make his point. Maybe that's it, Enzo thinks, and his mind catches the name this Michael uses. Maria. Not Maggie. Similar but not the same. Maria DeLuca, by the sounds of it. Not James.

Maria scoffs and aims the towel in her hand at Michael, who merely laughs and dodges the blow of it.

"Ignore him," she tells Enzo, turning back to him.

He laughs it off as well. "That's okay. Maria, was it?"

She nods, her lips pressing together in a smile again. "That's right, mysterious stranger whose name is definitely not Michael. Sorry about that. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong. It happens."

Part of him is tempted to tell her she's not wrong. After all, he was Michael for over ten years. Who's to say that means it isn't still part of his identity?

"Well, it is my middle name, so not entirely wrong," he decides to say. "I'm Lorenzo. People usually just call me Enzo."

Maria's face lights up, her smile brightening. "Middle name is good enough for me. And it's nice to meet you, Enzo. So, what can I get for you?"

"Er, just a bourbon, please."

He hesitates, then takes a seat on one of the stools. His eyes stay glued to her as she pours him a bourbon. How is this even possible?

Doppelgangers exist. He knows that far too well from his brief time in Mystic Falls, but that was a curse. Maggie was never in the middle of some two-thousand-year-old love affair involving vengeful travellers. As far as he's aware.

Maria sets the glass down in front of him. He thanks her and slides the money over before taking a long drink. At this rate, he's going to need a lot more than one glass.

"So, Enzo," Maria says, and pain spikes through his heart at hearing that same voice say his name again after all these years. "What brings you to our lovely but ultimately boring little town? Is it the aliens?"

He can't help but laugh at that. Once upon a time, it was in fact the aliens that brought him here.

"No, no, though I wouldn't mind seeing a few," he jokes, and is pleased when she laughs, too. He then sighs. "But I'm looking for someone. A woman I used to know. We... lost touch for a while."

Maria frowns. "Oh. Well, what's her name? Like I said, I know everyone in this town. If she's been here, I'll remember."

He stares at her for a moment. I'll remember. Something about the way she says it sends a shiver through him.

"Maggie James," he says before he can process he's doing it. "Her name's Maggie James."

For the briefest flicker of a moment after he says it, he admittedly expects recognition to flash across her face and for her to say that's her mother's name. Or an auntie. Someone in her family, something to explain this, because he can't think of a single logical explanation otherwise.

But her eyes stay blank and distant, still frowning. Then he notices that her frown has actually deepened. More thought than required for remembering a name of a stranger you met once or twice. And the blank look in her eyes is too blank, like they've glazed over, completely detached from reality.

Enzo's heartbeat quickens. Her expression twitches. It's a tiny movement, invisible to the human eye. But he catches it, and everything crashes down inside of him. It's the look of someone trying to unearth a memory buried beneath layers of compulsion. Just below the surface but forever unreachable.

Then she blinks, and it's as if she's thrust back into her body. She straightens up a little too quickly, her eyes wide and dazed. But alert. And lost.

"Nope," she says, and shakes her head, reverting back to her casual composure from before. "Sorry. Doesn't ring any bells."

He can hear the lie in her voice. Feel it from her. It did ring a bell, just one she couldn't quite hear. Muffled by his own doing. Or something else, he just wouldn't know what. It can't just be his compulsion. It doesn't explain why she'd still be this young, why she has a completely different identity and life. None of it makes sense.

"Don't worry about it," he tells her, plastering on another careful smile. "I'm sure I'll find her."

He doesn't know why, but it feels like the truth. Something tells him he won't have to look far. It's just more complicated now, is all. But when has he not loved a few complications here and there? They're what make things interesting.

#tvd #roswell nm #pbb #maria deluca #enzo st. john #enzo st john #michael quinn #maggie james #enzo x maggie #enzo x maria #michael x maggie #michael x maria #the vampire diaries #roswell new mexico #project blue book #moodboard #aesthetic #ficlet #rowing the rarepair rowboat #myedit* #so uhhhh #this is an idea that I had while watching roswell #and I had to do something so here we are #I could write a whole fic about this if anyone else actually cared sjsjsjhxhs #god I just love the idea of enzo finding maggie #oh also maria IS maggie #she's just like a reincarnation #or a mind-wiped vampire #or abducted by aliens #still trying to decide which sounds better

[issysindieblog]

INTERVIEW - SPINN

SPINN are quickly winning over a fan-base across the UK from locals in their hometowns in Liverpool where they grew up to now adoring teen girls and this comes as no surprise to anybody. They have the cheek yet optimism of a new band despite completing their final lineup only last year and will no doubt continue to roar through the UK music scene and gain an army of avid supporters in years to come. This month, the boys are embarking on a tour of the UK, playing a series of gigs up and down the country from Glasgow to Bristol. They finish the tour off on the 28th September back in their home-city of Liverpool (O2 Academy 2 Liverpool). They've impressively already managed to sell out three of their six dates and have recently announced that they have been signed to American label, anti fragile music. The thing that the band are chuffed about though? The fact that one of their songs, It's Not Getting Better, was played on Made in Chelsea earlier on this week.

SPINN have released eight songs so far, including a self-titled EP which was released in April of this year. Singles of their's include catchy 'It's Not Getting Better' which is a song that stays in your head for days after first hearing it's memorable lyrics ( "you know it's killing me being here, killing me, being here.”) and groovy guitar lines which resemble that of early work from Blossoms.

Pictured below, SPINN.

So, (currently) 180,000 monthly Spotify listeners, a UK tour this month with half of the dates sold out and a growing army of supporters, I had questions for Johnny from SPINN and these were his answers... Maybe I'm slightly biased, but I think that these are the best answers to an interview that I've ever read.

1. Was there a particular moment that you realised that SPINN were becoming popular?

I was once getting a meal deal in Tesco and I saw somebody walk in the shop wearing a SPINN teeshirt. I was absolutely buzzing that somebody was wearing some of our merch and later on they messaged our Instagram page and said they'd seen me but had been too scared to come up and say hello. The same thing happened to me when I saw Ex-Everton Winger Steven Pienaar in a different Tesco. That made me realise we were doing something right, I still think we've got a while to go before we can say we're properly popular though. Just got to keep working innit x

2. Away from making music and gigging, what are your favourite things to do together?

Honestly just knocking about with each other like we always have, is what we like to do. Usually it can be anything from just walking around the shops together to going on nights out and staying up till 8AM. Last week Louis had to stay at my flat and we spent the time going to Tesco and prank calling Sean.

This has been a very Tesco centric interview I'll try and steer away from that for the rest of it. Right that's besides the point, as long as we're still knocking about together and taking the piss out of each other, we'll enjoy it x

3. You're going on tour soon, do you each have an essential item you will take with you?

I try to bring a book of some sort for the drive currently, it's Nine Stories by J.D Salinger

Andy ALWAYS brings a hairdryer and various hair products, rocking a bowl when you're on the road ain't no easy fete!

Sean usually just brings himself, that leather jacket he's always got on. A spare bass guitar wouldn't go a miss either, though. Once he left his on the side of the motorway when we were on the way back from Derby, good times.

Louis brings his Aston Villa blanket and 20 Litres of Vape liquid, the little fiend.

4. What/who are your major influences?

Collectively: The Drums, The Smiths, The La's, The Cure, Orange Juice, Ride, My Bloody Valentine.

Individually: Too many to list xoxo

5. Let’s fast forward five years from now, what do you see SPINN doing?

Ideally I'd like to get to the level of Wolf Alice or The 1975 are at now, that would be the dream. If we keep on working then I can see no reason why we can't get there, if we don't then that's fair enough, but we have to at least try! Anyway that's the dream, as long as we can make a living off the band and keep writing music that develops and matures with us then I'll be happy.

6. Do you have any pre-gig rituals?

I always have to go on stage last, I don't know why. At particularly big gigs we listen to 'I Am A God' by Kanye West before we go on, because it's such a good tune for getting hyped to. Other than that, apart from the odd bout of stage fright it's usually just a beer with the boiz before going on.  

7. How has your music evolved since you first began playing music together?

I think our songwriting has definitely improved. When we listen to our new stuff compared to our older songs, it's just in a different league, that only comes with experience though. I think that us touring has definitely helped us realise what is what in terms of song structures and live performances. So to answer the question properly, yeah we've got a lot better (even though we thought we were boss before when we weren't lol).

8. Can you describe each member of the band in under ten words?

Andy - A man who loves his haircut more than life itself.

Sean - Donned in a tight leather jacket he's often quite hungover.

Louis - A small man, usually asleep in his Aston Villa blanket.

Me (Johnny) - Taller than the other four, basically the god of dancing xoxo

9. How long have you been playing together? 

Louis joined about a year ago, but we've been a band for about 2 and a bit years. Saying that, I don't think we would be SPINN without Louis so therefore I'm gonna say a year.

10. What has been your favourite and least favourite venue to play so far?

My favourite was The Magnet in Liverpool. There's so many boss memories there but now it's been turned into one of those chain comedy clubs which is something that chips away at my soul every time I walk past.

My least favourite was The Sitwell Tavern in Derby. Everybody who came to see us was lovely and so were the other bands and the promoters Dominic (just wanted to make sure if they read this they know I had a boss time at the gig and in the chippy afterwards ;) ).

But, and it's a big but, the pub had fuck off massive "The S*n" flags up all over the gaff which frankly isn't something we like to see anywhere, as we think that that rag is scum, sorry not sorry.

SPINN set out on their debut headline tour this month at the following locations:

21st September - Surf Cafe, Tynemouth

22nd September - Broadcast, Glasgow

25th September - Record Junkee, Sheffield

26th September - Hy Brasil Music Club, Bristol 

27th September - Thousand Island (formerly Upstairs at The Grage), London

28th September - O2 Academy 2 Liverpool

Tickets are available to buy now at https://www.musicglue.com/spinn-band/ and all of SPINN's music is available to stream on Apple Music and Spotify.

#interview #review #music review #music blog #spinn

[mental-health-advice]

Hi! I want to start off by saying I love your blog! Keep it up

Hi darling,

That's so lovely of you to say! We really appreciate your kindness

Before I say anything, I want to stress that we’re in no way professionals. Therefore anything we suggest about what might be going on is just that- a suggestion. It’s in no way a diagnosis. These suggestions can be wrong, some of the suggestions we list might not be possible, or there are more options than what we list. We’d also recommend you not to self-diagnose for the reasons listed here. If you want to know what’s going on, I’d highly recommend you to see a mental health professional. You can visit your GP / local doctor and explain to them briefly what’s been going on. They’ll be able to refer you to a therapist, counsellor, psychiatrist, or other mental health professional. You can read more about getting help here. Once seeing a professional, you’ll most likely get an assessment in which they’ll look with you at what you’re dealing with, and potentially what label would fit to those struggles. Out of such an assessment also comes an advice for treatment to start, which is an advice that I’d recommend you to follow.

It sounds like your self image is quite low lately, causing you to feel like none of your friends want you around anymore, that you’re failing at everything you do, and causing loneliness and worthlessness after something you used to love. It’s really tough when we feel so low about ourselves! Something that can really help to boost up your self image is a ‘whitebook’. This is a literal translation of a Dutch word, so sorry if it sounds a bit silly. A whitebook is a notebook (pick a pretty one!) in which you write down positive things about each day. When you start, this will most likely feel very uncomfortable, as it’s completely opposite to how you’re used to think. Therefore it can help to start small and general. So you don’t have to write a lot down, just two or three things, and they can be about anything. The sun was shining, you overheard a nice conversation in the train, you pet a cat, anything! Then once this starts to feel a bit more normal, try to increase the amount of things you write down. Challenge yourself by first going for four things a day, then five, etc. I think ten would be a good number to work towards. What you see is that you can now write down ten things, but these often will be very general (about the weather, etc.). So let’s try to make it more personal. Set yourself the goal to write down two personal things each day. What I mean with personal is that it has to be something positive about you. Something you did, said, thought, felt. This is still quite a broad criterium, but at first this will be difficult too! I got as far as doing this, but the only reason I could do it was by writing down ‘I showered today’ and ‘I tutored today’. I’d only write down the things that I’d done and in a way I was choosing the easy way then, as writing this down didn’t make me feel better about myself. So the next challenge was to write down two personal things about me, that didn’t include things I’d done, unless if it was something I was proud of for doing. So if I’d done something really challenging, then it could be one of those two things, but if it was something I’d do more often and wasn’t so hard, it wouldn’t be one of those two personal things. So I had to write down things more like ‘I was struggling today but I managed to pull myself out of my slump and I feel a bit better now’ or ‘the kid I tutor got a pass mark because of my tutoring’.

Writing down these positive things is already a big step in the right direction, but there’s more! In the back of your whitebook, you keep a list with positive characteristics of yourself. If you can think of some positive characteristics right away you can write them down already! But there’s much and much more that can be added to that list eventually. These other characteristics that you can’t think of yourself right away will come from the positive personal things you write down each day. So to stick to my example of the kid I tutor getting a pass mark, there are a bunch of positive characteristics that fit to this. Patience, the ability to explain something in an understandable way, bonding with the tutoring kid, etc. So there are multiple positive characteristics that come from one positive personal thing! I personally find it really hard to think of these positive characteristics, but what really helps me there is the friend-question; if a friend had done this positive thing, what positive characteristics would I describe them with? I’m much kinder to my friends than I am to myself, so then I can write down the positive characteristics I’d write down for my friends, and then reevaluate about whether those maybe fit to me as well. Eventually you’ll get a long list of positive characteristics. It will be most helpful if you regularly read over this list so that it’s a constant reminder that you as a person are so much more than the negative image you have of yourself!

Like I mentioned before, we aren’t professionals and we can’t tell you what exactly is going on. When you visit your GP or a mental health professional, it can however be good to know what symptoms are worth mentioning. I personally think that anything that bothers you is worth mentioning! But sometimes when we’re struggling, some of our symptoms become so normal that we forget to mention them. If you think this will be the case for you too, then it might help to have a look at the symptoms of depression that I will list below. You’ll see that some of the symptoms that you mention in your ask will be on this list, so those definitely would be good to mention! Any symptoms you mention in this ask really, since those are clearly bothering you! If from the list you recognise any other symptoms, it’s good to manage those too. What I do want you to keep in mind, is that even if you match a lot of the symptoms, this doesn’t mean you have depression. It’s all complex. Anyway, symptoms for depression can include:

Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness;

Loss of interest in daily activities;

Appetite or weight changes;

Sleep changes;

Anger or irritability;

Loss of energy;

Self-loathing;

Reckless behaviour;

Concentration problems;

Unexplained aches and pains.

(Source) 

If it turns out that you are struggling with depression, it can be really good to look into treatment options. Treatment for depression usually includes medication, therapy, or a combination of both. The latter is most often advised, as medication on its own doesn’t really address certain thought patterns you might experience (which is helpful to address when in recovery), and while therapy on its own can make a big difference, being on medication can help a lot to get the energy you need to work hard in therapy. So in a way, medication can make therapy more productive. If a combination isn’t possible for you, then it definitely will be helpful too to choose either. I hope that you can take some steps with the help of this answer lovely, and that you found it at least a little bit helpful! If there’s anything else we can do for you, please let us know!

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard.

Keep fighting beautiful Love Pauline

#mental health #advice #advice blog #depression #straight A's #friends #GSA #gay straight alliance #poetry #self image #worthlessness #low self image #mhapauline #Anonymous