#maybe he was tryna shoot michael

[xaviergalatis]

Said that hoe can not be mad at her

Makes me sad

Take that lil bitch in a date

They tryna copy my style watch how i jump in the crowd

All that matters is you the one feelin it

Pull up with the drake let the blow hit him

Autotune

How the fuck im flexong like this

When/while I land

Better hide yo bitch before zaza hit that

I just dropped a pill mom don't vacuume

Now every time I press a ecstasy

And now he living in a mental home

Ganging new fans no new hit record

Florida water

If 12 come kicking in my door today, I'll sit in a cell

Cuz' they gon find seven different drugs, and weed in the scale

Sometimes I think that I should quit but I know that's a never

I might go I'm

Herd your

Fuckin n that butch n gettin money

You done for soft

Only rapper from my city riding with switches on em

The AMG outside

Tokyo

These bullets got his head like John f Kennedy

I'm BeastMode, you don't know Mav

Xay

You're man is a goofy

He can get touched

Looking like I rob banks

I was looking at the gra! I don't even like likes

This is not mumble rap. This is murder rap

Headaches a migraine

I pop percs n

I put Louie on my beanie

Smoking on Skittles

You going broke trying keep up with me

My new chain is taller then johnny dang

Neighborhood dealer

Never gave a fuck that's how I got rich

See you in pictures with too many opps

These racks be the reason I walk with a limp

Chrome heart

The outside white the inside brown like Michael Jack

!maybe in 4 5 minutes

The rest of the plan got scrapped when I land

Life sweet when you know the cost

Brooklyn

Pharaoh

Mary denim

Draco

these little rapper bois

Maybach truck

Awful records

Brush teeth

This ain't mumble rap this murder rap

Young skinny nigga with my dick in my hand

!y wrist a surgeon

Vest

I been popping seals

Smoking exotic

Shoot from the neck up

Pipe

Pull up with a stick let it hit

You can't match my energy

He don't even stop to get gas

Stand on that

You can get smoked trying to lil bro me

Group chat

Blown

WHat(ADLIB)

Fire arms on fire arms

With the chainsaw took his brains off

Eat the cake anime

We only shoot from the vest up

Fear of God

You know people gone be talking about us weekly

Lil Uzi but I'm nice now

Barely open up the curtains to the rooms I work in

I'm in the booth with a strap on me right now

My fico score is amazing though

Financial freedom my only hope

Voice inside my head said wet then if they test you

Heat your home like southern California gas

I bought a phone just to Snapchat pics of that wet ass pussy

They didn't see me cuz I was in my other Benz

I heard you stay in a metropolitans home

Who knew would do so much damage the internet wouldn't have the bandwith

I rewrite history I don't care about yesterday

Colosseum floors

At the air port they check all through my bag tell me that it's random

Should have been signed twice

Fuck you pay me

Yeezys on I don't slip

She swallow my kids

Big chop knock a nigga out zapatos

Put my kids on her titty

We only shoot from the neck up

I'm wit lil maceee If I catch a opp I cannot catch a Casey

in the hills like a pop star

Oh she thinks she funny bitch I'm halirous

I got the bad bitch doing !y dance

Fuckin with the mob shit get too scary

Why you rap like that if you ain't been up on a mission

Trigger happy quick to knock em down if he slipping

Eating crepe

You know we do shit out of spite

Future looking bright imma need some Ray-Bans

23 have the game in a gift wrap

Diamonds hit no light

Way befor I thought I get a deal

I hit it once then I hit the dash

My diamonds is wet just like the pool

Zay

Xavier

I didn't even need to use the AK

I really mean it I'm just not recording

Metro

Like Mike

No new friends

I don't check the price

Make my own money so I spent it how I like

Pimp hand

The game

Cashout

No numbers all apps this an encrypted phone

I keep the bread tied

Throwing C's

Said she USD to model for American apparel

Lil mama

Slave ship

Active

I feel like snapping today

Finna hit racks

I know she want to kickki it with me uh huhhh

Red flag

better keep it in your lap if you at that light

Spanish bitch

Nothing less then an FN

Hoe

Government name

Papi

In the home town riding rentals

Carrier woods on my face that's 8 bracket

Fake friends

Running man

Another six months, I'll be unknown

Remember the time that I spilled the cup

Of apple juice in the hall

The i8 I'm in, ain't came with no keys

Top

If I spend money imma go back and work it off

Flipped a one to a five flipped a five to a ten

Get off my dick little bitch

I need somebody and always

The webs from all the spiders

Uh, I don't like no Swisher, I like Grabba Leaf, lil' nigga

I never conquered, rarely came

Sixteen just held such better days

I got little hitters on the block now

Call my Glock the seatbelt the way I click it

I just be shippin' that Za', shippin' that somebody farted,

huh

Drakes ghost writer

This ARP got a red sight

Starts in the roof

Glocks on me and they lethal

Hop in srts and do fruity loops

He can't play big bank

Higher then God

Popped a 10 mg by myself had to relapse

Top friends

Oh, we on that shit too, I used to hit licks too

I see that boy gotta clap em

That one that you love sucks the whole squad

Sippin on muddy everything kid Cudi

Ride around the 212 with the stick on me

Choppa hit his ass make em do flips

I'm in Toronto like I'm cool with the drake

Sup syrup

Shorty

Cutter on me

Hell cat

One mic

I fuckk with Souljah boy

Shoot the shot long range

Try me and get swept

Doing numbers on the phone alone

She need ID she can't get in with out it

Move it to my place

Been a couple years since my child had a job

I ain't trippin', let 'em rest in peace

Ride around the city I don't need a wear a vest

Up pockets sitting in the trap

Fucked with a sick bitch now I got a cold

I'm faded than a hoe

Jump out

I really had them grams before you had a gram

How does it feel when you got no food

I swear these bitches !y mini-mes

Call me John Madden, fuck her in the Aston

Martin dropped the top bitch you know what's happening

I ain't gonna stop smoking on that Mary Jane

Look !e in the eye

Really bout that life

I am not a clone

10 toes

Straight top shelf shit

District the gang end up missing

Smoking hits off tinfoil again

I'm smoking dope in the v

I fuck your hoe for a week

Bitch as hella fat need a ass shot

I always keep a hoe I keep some

My feen bout to nodd off

Ipad

Phone

Ain't gotta lie about schemes

AP on my left wrist

Was it the Kush or the cologne forgot what I put on

Might as well record every thing I say on this

All I do is push the beat I don't write shit

Look how I walk on the beat

It's hard to tell my smoker no when he got 3 ones

We ain't here to make friends

Homie calling asking for visits

Susan bake both caught bodies

How your homie wear a vest but don't stay wit a strap

I beat the boss then text him you gotta eat the loss

My bro said he alright then killed himself why you lie to me

When your man got smoked that was my best blunt

Got the bread let it go like a hostage

I was in the park spray-painting on the platform

Half a mill to perform, I can’t let them fuck that shit up

Plus I love the way my middle name looks when it’s lit up

My psychiatrist got kids that I inspired

Some days I'm in my Yeezys, some days I'm in my Vans

If I knew y'all made plans, I wouldn't have popped the Xans

feel like Pablo when I see me on the news my

She keep pushin' me back, good dick'll do that

I keep a clip

Keep calling my phone bout his bitch

The industry

About to go back in

Coulda ran off the plug

But I kept it real and I showed him love

Bro just jumped out the ride with a mask on, face like he dodging COVID

If we go uptown, gotta hold that (Whoosh)

Wanna fly Dubai tonight? Lastminute.com, I'll book that flight

They gon turn up the AC then charge you for the blankets

Some paid 4-5 serious

it's July, shots get hot like summer heat

Body armor on, warmer in my palm

New project I let dram do it

The lights hit

Black President

How can you call me bro he's not my bro he breaking the code

She cheat I cheat we even

Good hair good body good face

I'm up in all the stores

Braid my wig ASAP tat on my ribs

It seems like r Kelly wet dreams I kept six teens

Countin' up in the Polo socks

Tommy Hilfiger my waistband, ayy I'm fire, I'm fuego (Fuego)

Ferragamo on my belt

Bitch mob

Went to jail for like 500 days

I know lil b he fucked !y bitch too

I might take I case I'm not living straight

I'ma keep selling that crack in

Them females plan on doing me wrong so I grab the thumb out the trojan pack

Met somebody baby mama inside of the VIP

I live fast die young, never take it slow Tell your girl to tell a friend that it's time to go

Yes sir

am nothing like these other niggas coming out this year"

So well spoken man I should have went to Cambridge

Please comprehend I am a Surf Club general

You don’t want be caught in the middle like a center fold

I'm calling your bluff don’t act like you can’t see me dialing

I waited four days, nigga, where y'all at?

I keep my noes as clean as I can

360 Yeezy boosts these ain't Roches

I'm tryna bust down a rollie

You make assumptions again

Middle fingers up

Middle of the function wanna gimme hug

Sippin suryp

MacBook on my arm I ain't got no dell

#rhyme book #phrases

[lenjaminmacbuttons]

i discovered recently that sleep paralysis can happen more frequently to people who sleep on their backs, discovered just now that this means Me Every Time I Sleep On My Back (i usually sleep on my side)

so in case any of you ever find me sleeping on my back please either wake me up or, failing that, just kinda gently roll me over like im a benevolent beetle or smth

#talkyllama #im fine just a lil anxious mostly annoyed and my arms are sore #last time this happened my gf said best thing to do is relax and calm down but apparently i forgot #cus i always tryna snap out of sleep paralysis via brute force #which works because i am very strong. but then my arms are sore #also i think i bit my thumb but im not sure if i really did or not cus it still kinda feels like i bit it but theres also no visible mark #anyways im v grateful that ive yet to experience a Sleep Paralysis Demon per se #but i still deeply deeply hate sleep paralysis #usually its not really accompanied by a dream of any kind but this time i was like. laying in a place neal had said was kinda haunted #(i guess by michael distortion tma i dont really remember but i do remember being anxious about hands and yelling 'MICHAEL GO AWAY' #michael! michael go on git! git outta here! #) #and neal was also shooting a bb gun at the wall directly behind me and i did not wanna get hit so i was yelling at him too #maybe he was tryna shoot michael???? #i probably feel like he was just tryna show off Hehe I Got A Bb Gun #anyways that was happening i couldnt move i got mad i yelled i bit my thumb i woke up. laid there all ticked. realized i was on my back #rolled onto my side turned bedside lamp on make tumblr post #never gonna forgive michael distortion for what he did to that lady in Fatigue #frickin hate the spiral. thats the one of my Actual Real Life fears that i can reliably categorize tma style and it makes me so mad #1. dinosaurs 2. freezing to death esp. trapped in a walk-in freezer 3. not being able to distinguish dreams n reality #getting stuck in a dream i guess #or realizing something i was so sure was real is actually a dream #either way. spiral. hate it. unhappy with it. gonna be fine though. just gotta vent jsdjfgh #tbh im really only making this post cus i was amused by the idea of someone seeing me on my back and bein like 'oop! gotta flip that over! #like a turtle. like a ladybug #cant flip mself without significant mental and emotional labor #wont you be a kind soul............

[unnerving-presence]

Awh shoot, that was my ask 🤣 (ahwhshahk I don't remember much of it, but I'll try lol and no worries!) It was just me asking for some headcannons of a gremlin s/o celebrating the anniversary with Trapper, Danny, and Herman. Mostly me imagining how feral they are when they're on the hunt for the crowns and cakes.

my dumbass was tryna answer it i feel so dumb for deleting it

sorry this isn’t like my other ‘gremlin’ posts. i couldn’t really imagine anything weird they would say during the anniversary event

i hope you don’t mind if i only do evan and danny. i’m not feeling very motivated but i really felt like i had to get this out.

༒༒༒༒༒

Evan Macmillan:

He fears you at this time of year.

It’s not really intentional but you tend to be sort of bossy and that’s when he starts getting scared. Scared as in “I’m not really scared I just follow s/o’s orders to make them happy but deep inside i fear that they will eat me alive if i don’t listen to them”

If you both are in a trial together and you see him going for a crown that you want you just..

“EVAN MACMILLAN YOU GET YOUR ASS OFF THAT CROWN OR I WILL RAIN HELLFIRE UPON YOU-“

Yeah he’s already backing away the second you say his name.

Oh you see that bitch ass Freddy trying to get a crown? Smack the back of his head and dip with the crown before he realizes who just hit him-

I imagine you like hoarding crowns so there’s just one area of the Macmillan Estate that’s just has an entire stash of crowns there. Yes, they all belong to you. And yes, he did get them all for you. He doesn’t really question at this point, he just does what you ask.

And the second you find out about cakes? You turn f e r a l. Evan tries to take one of the cakes? A loud ass smack just echoes through the estate from how hard you just smacked that poor mans hand. “NO TOUCH”

“EVANEVANEVANEVANEVANEVAN-“

“What is it, you little shit?”

“I got some cake!!”

“I don’t think you should eat that. It’s got all that sugar and-“

“It’s not gonna get me hyper! Just watch! I’ll be perfectly fine.”

*sigh*

Your fellow survivor Dwight is minding his own business with a cake he found? I’ll just let the video explain what you do. Dwight is probably sobbing look at what you did to him.

Evan advises you to NOT steal cakes and ruin people’s time in this horrid place but he already knows you’re not gonna listen as you proceed to whole ass Usain Bolt to the next realm before he can even catch up with you.

He doesn’t really want to eat the cake, but he does want to keep it away from you. He knows you’ll eat every single cake you find and he knows that you’ll run to him because your stomach hurts. While he does like taking care of you, he doesn’t want to hear you whine about the darkness closing in for the next hour.

He absolutely loves when you run up to him with a crown floating above your head all excited because it’s literally floating and you’re just so amazed. He has to admit that it’s a bit adorable. He even shows you a special crown that he’s earned! It’s a deep red color with 4 slash marks and it’s dripping with blood. It looks really cool but he doesn’t want you wearing it since it’s the only one of its kind.

While you are a pain in the ass to deal with Evan does enjoy spending the Anniversary event with you. Maybe you can give him a kiss for all the hard work he’s done for you :))

Danny Johnson/The Ghostface:

You both are menaces to society

Every killer is a target, even the dangerous ones like Michael and Kazan. Yeah, you may die trying to steal from them, but the Entity will hopefully always bring you back. You both are very stubborn and annoying and won’t stop until y’all get the good shit.

In trials it really just depends on who gets to the crown first. If it’s you who does, you’re getting hooked immediately and will receive a “Fuck you.” from Danny. He’s kinda dumb so he doesn’t realize that the crown will come back-

I imagine the same goes for cakes but you both are willing to share after.

“This cake tastes like shit.”

“I spent 2 hours trying to steal it from that Myers bitch and you’re telling me that you don’t even want it?”

“Yea.”

When you do manage to find good cake, Danny isn’t stopping you. If you get sick, that’s all your fault. Yeah, he’ll make sure you’re resting and well because he cares for you, but expect him to literally bully you. I can only assume you do the same back if he tries.

“Dannyyyyyy!! I got you a present!”

“Huh? What is i-“

And you got him like 50 crowns lmao (he def forgave you for taking that other one from him earlier)

Some of the survivors try telling you that stealing from the killers is a horrible idea, and they’re right. That’s doesn’t stop you from trying anyways.

“You have been banned from the Mickey Mouse club for inappropriate behavior >:(“

“What does that even mean.”

“It means no more cake”

“WAIT NO”

I feel like when you find out all the cake is gone you literally smack tf outta him like it’s his fault and then you immediately console him a second later.

Danny probably is a shithead all day after what you did to him and he will not apologize. Well he’ll apologize if you give him a kiss but that’s it.

There’s probably some party the killers host and you guys are not invited because you’re both annoying and most of the killers don’t like y’all lmao. That’s okay though, you guys have each other, and you can still absolutely shit on the survivors with your antics.

#dbd #dead by daylight #evan macmillan #evan macmillan x reader #the trapper x reader #danny johnson x reader #danny johnson

[barnesbabee]

[B]reeding Kink || C.S

[ꜱᴇxᴜᴀʟ ᴇɴᴄʏᴄʟᴏᴘᴇᴅɪᴀ - ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ʙ]

Summary: He broke into your house, and now he’s breaking you. (it's not fucking consentual non-con it's just inmate!San istg)

Pairing: Choi San x Reader

Words: my fairy godmother said it was 4311 words

Genre: Smut

⚠ mention of drugs, breeding kink, mentions of blood, mentions of violence, inmate!San ⚠

  You woke up with loud banging on your door. It was so sudden, you didn’t know what time it was, what was happening, or where you were. It took you a quick second to scan your surroundings. 

    It was 2am, or so said the clock on your bedside table, and you were sitting up in your bed, startled and confused about the booming sound echoing through your house.

    You got up from the bed and hurriedly wrapped your robe around your body, however, just as you were getting to the living room to look through the peephole, the door burst open. You covered your mouth with your hand to prevent any noise from coming out and hid behind the sofa, praying to whatever wanted to help you that he hadn’t seen you.

    You closed your eyes tightly and started breathing heavily as you heard the loud footsteps roam around your house. 

    It was hard to breathe and you felt as if someone was pressing on your chest. 

    You opened your eyes slowly and peeked behind the couch. You could see a man… His appearance wasn’t clear as the whole place was dark, the only thing illuminating the room being the moon. He had a broad back and dark hair, that you noticed, and he wore heavy, black boots, that left a trail of dirt wherever he walked. 

   Who was he? What did he want? Why was he in your apartment?

   You hid back and waited until you could no longer hear him.

    The silence of his steps felt unsettling… Your chest rose and fell rapidly, and it took all of the courage you had to peek around the couch once more. 

    However, this time you were met with a man’s face. He wore a wide, Cheshire Cat-like smile on his face as he stared right at you. You could almost feel his warm breath hit your face…

    “Hello, doll!” 

    You opened your mouth to scream but the male was faster. He slapped his hand over your face, preventing you from yelling for help or anything of the sort. 

    The male approached his lips to your ears.

   “I’m gonna need your help doll…”

   You took a look at his appearance. He had on a white, stained, and slightly ripped wife-beater, along with a flashy orange jumpsuit. You examined his body carefully. His hair was damp and his inked, very well-built arms were shiny, he had been running. You were inspecting everything as carefully as you possibly could.. when you noticed.

     Was that blood!? 

     There were little spots and splatters of dried, red liquid all over his clothes, which made you widen your eyes. What the fuck had he done!? 

     He noticed your sudden change of emotions and realized you had seen the state of his clothes.

     “Listen, I don’t wanna hurt you. I need you to hide me, I’ll explain everything but you’re not in danger, yet.”

     The ‘yet’ at the end of his sentence sparked something in you and you began struggling under his hold. He gripped your arm and forced you to stop shifting.

    “Calm. Down. You’re not in danger, but if you call the police on me, if you yell for help, you will be. All you have to do is be a good girl and cooperate, because if anything goes wrong, all you need to know is that there are eight of us, if I get caught it won’t be looking too pretty for you.”

    You looked at him, eyes still widened and breathing very heavily.

    “You got it?” He asked.

     He slowly removed his hand from your mouth and placed it on his thigh. You were full-on crying in fear at that point. 

    The male said nothing, he just sighed and ran his hand through his sweaty hair. He also didn’t know what to do. He had no idea where the other seven were, he had no idea if they were still alive and he honestly didn’t know what happened next.

    “Y-you should take a shower.” You told him, as you finally felt the reek coming from him. 

   He looked down at himself and nodded. The male stood up and looked at you.

   “I can’t trust you though.”

   “W-what then? You’re just going to stink forever? Are you going to make me sit in the bathroom while you wash?”

   You were just mocking him, but from the way he shrugged you could tell he didn’t mind one bit to have you in the bathroom with him. You refused at first, but you didn’t really have much choice as he dragged you around looking for the bathroom.

    You sat on the toilet, facing the wall as you crossed your arms in front of your chest.

    “I can’t believe you’re okay with this.” You complained. 

   “I was in prison, doll, I had hundreds of men looking at my ass every day when I showered, having a girl in a bathroom with me isn’t exactly a nightmare.”

    You were both silent. The sound of the water hitting the floor echoed in the room and the water was so hot that the atmosphere around you two became foggy. 

    “Fuck, this is heaven…”

    You would’ve chuckled if you weren’t so scared and uncomfortable.

    “You know, we have warm water in there, but there are so many people taking showers at the same time so it just ends up being cold all the time. The showerheads are also really old, so they get clogged all the time and there’s barely any water coming out… You come out looking mustier than when you went in.”

    You smiled at that. You could tell he was a people person, he was comfortable enough in this situation to tell life stories and maybe that was the purpose, but you started slowly feeling a little at ease. So much so that you gained the courage to ask the question you were scared of. 

    “What were you in there for?”

    You had to know. You couldn’t have a conversation with him, you couldn’t not feel uncomfortable and uneasy without at least knowing. 

    There was silence, and the water turned off.

    “Murder.”

    Your eyes widened from the nth time that night and you felt all blood be drained from your body. The sense of fear and anxiety washed over you once more, and you didn’t know how to react. Should you run? Should you stay? Should you speak, or should you be quiet? 

    A little childish giggle sounded in the bathroom almost forcing you to look behind. He pulled the shower curtain to the side, and although this man was naked from head to toe right in front of you, your eyes were glued to his face. The giggling was creepy, you hated it.

    “I’m joking, I went in for drug abuse and distribution.”

    You took a deep, shaky breath and closed your eyes, letting your head fall forward. You shed a couple of tears out of stress and relief. 

    “You… fucking idiot.” You cursed at him, still feeling a little lightheaded.

    He giggled once more and wrapped a towel around his waist, after roaming about the bathroom looking for one.

    “Why… Did you have blood all over you then?” 

    He pointed at his abdomen, where a deep cut that your eyes had completely missed stood.

   “It was mine. Mostly… Listen escaping prison isn’t that easy and there’s trap wire and people shooting, if you’re not bleeding it’s because you’re Michael Scofield, and sadly we’re all kind of stupid.”

  Although he moved like the wound didn’t hurt, you couldn’t help but worry about it. You pointed at the ripped flesh.

  “Can I… Can I fix it for you?”

  He cocked his head to the side as he looked at you, silently questioning himself as to why you would want to help him. He shrugged, nevertheless. He wasn’t about to decline help…

   “I’d like that.”

    He tied the towel tighter around his hips so it wouldn’t fall, and sat down on the toilet you were previously resting on. You reached for the cabinet over the sink and took the medical supplies from it.

   “This is going to hurt a bit so just, distract yourself by telling me about you.”

   The male scoffed at your words.

   “I’ve been to prison, I don’t think I’ll be hurt by- oh f-fuck!”

   You giggled at his little curse as you pressed the gauze with hydrogen peroxide against his wounded skin.

   He rested his head against the wall and flexed his abdomen.

   “O-okay so, my name is San I’ve been in there for 2 years and- fucking Hell go easy on me!”

  You giggled and mumbled a soft ‘sorry’ as you listened to his stories. You tried very hard to focus on your job, but your eyes would sometimes wander around his torso and covered thighs.

  “I uh, I started selling drugs when I was eighteen, I got thrown out of the orphanage and my little sister came with me, and I wanted to make good money so she could go to university.” he paused for a second, wincing as you switched products “It was fine for a while, I made some friends there which was nice. I never really had friends, cause I kept moving from the orphanage to foster houses back and forth, so I never stayed in one place long enough to make lasting friendships… B-but it didn’t go so well cause I got caught in a swoop and the eight of us went in.”

  When he finished the story you had no idea what to say… You felt a little bad about what he had just told you. 

   “I’m sorry…”

   “It’s fine, life isn’t always kind. Plus,” he stopped to grab your chin and bring your gaze up to his “I never said I was a good person, doll. I just said I was tryna get my sister to a better place.” 

   You stared into his eyes for a second, before snapping back to reality. You stood up and mumbled something along the lines of ‘I’ll get you some clothes’ as you walked off.

  Some of your larger garments fit him quite well. A pair of large, black joggers and a yellow hoodie that looked stupidly big on you. He had to go commando however, since you didn’t happen to have a pair of boxers lying around.  

   You set up the couch for him to sleep in as you weren’t about to give up your bed for an inmate that had just broken in, but he seemed pretty content in the comfort of your couch. 

    “You sure you don’t need some company in there, doll?” 

    You chuckled at his bold attempt and pressed your tongue against the inside of your cheek. 

    “Yes San, I’d rather keep the convict at least one hallway away.” You joked.

    Although you felt a little more comfortable around him, knowing that he wasn’t 100% a scumbag, you couldn’t let your guard down. 

    Your theory was proven when you woke up not much later after you fell asleep with a shadow looking straight at you from the doorway. Not remembering that you had a guest, you yelled. 

    He immediately came rushing to your side and shut you up with his hand.

   “Why did you scream!?” San asked, panicking.

   You removed his hand from your face harshly.

   “Because a huge shadow man was standing in my doorway like a lunatic! What are you doing!?” 

  “It’s… It’s 7am I’m hungry.”

 You shot daggers at him through your sleepy, hooded eyes.

  “Do you not sleep?”

   “Not really…  We have a lot of sleep deprivation in there.”

   Somehow he had this habit of making you do things by making you feel bad. And this was no exception. 

   You groaned and dragged yourself off of the bed, feeling kind of embarrassed about how terrible you looked compared to him. Although his hair was messy, it still made him look good, as it further defined his jawline.

  You didn’t know what he wanted to eat, so you just pointed at your cabinets and began teaching him what was inside of each of them.

   As you did all of this, you realized how often he’d brush his dark locks back, in order to get them out of his face. You looked at your wrist and surely enough there was a spare hair tie on it. You offered it to San, who gladly accepted the item and tied his hair in a small ponytail.

  You started walking back to your bedroom, to resume your interrupted sleep, but a pertinent question popped in your mind, and sleep was no longer your biggest preoccupation.

   You turned around and walked back to the kitchen, to find San shoving his hand down the cereal box and eating it dry.

    “San… What’s your plan here? I mean, in the long run. You can’t just crash in my sofa forever.”

    The male in question looked at you, a suggestive gaze playing in his eyes.

   “I can always crash on your bed.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you as he said this.

   “I’m serious, San. This can be really problematic for me! Do you realize the trouble this could put me in? If someone finds out you’re here I’ll have so many legal complications! I’m on the fourth floor, why did you even choose my apartment!?”

   San went quiet for a second and looked at the floor.

   “You’re the 69th apartment…” He replied quietly.

   You rolled your eyes and turned around, stressed out about his response, while rubbing your temples.

  Before you could get very far, however, the man grabbed your wrist and made you turn around.

   “You’re right, I’m sorry… We agreed to meet up in an abandoned building a couple blocks down from where we lived. We needed to lay low for at least a couple of hours. I got lucky I managed to lose the coppers, but I don’t know about them…”

    He had sat down by the dining table and buried his head in his hands. For some reason, 

you felt as if you should comfort him, so you approached the male softly and pet his head slowly.

    “I can try to help with the smaller things!”

    But little did you know that that statement would soon come back to bite you in the ass, when you came home later in the day, after your very tiring night shift, and found eight very big men sitting around your living room, just chatting it up as if it was their own house.

    Ignoring the possibly dangerous men sprawled on your floor and couch, you closed the door and walked towards San.

    “What… The fuck.” You said through gritted teeth, trying to remain calm.

    “Well, you said you could help with the smaller things, and that side of the town was flooding with cops looking for us, so I figured we could come here to lay low!” He said, gesturing to his friends.

    You closed your eyes and inhaled deeply. 

    “When I said small things I meant maybe food or warm water to shower with. I didn’t mean I’d be the shelter for eight hooligans!”

    “What did you just call us?” One of them calmly asked. 

   You looked behind San to face the bleached haired male, who had a mixture of angry and offended on his face. It suddenly hit you that all of these escapee inmates were in your house, staring at you as you insulted them, and nervous tears started brimming in your eyes.

    “I-I’m sorry Sir, but you are sitting on my rug and you came from jail I think I’m entitled to be upset right now.” You told him, holding up your index finger.

     “Listen I’m sorry but overstaying my welcome-”

     “Oh, you think you’re overstaying!?” 

    Already sick of your snappy attitude, San gripped your arm and pushed you back against the wall, causing you to wince and drop your keys. His face was millimeters away from yours, so close you could feel his breath on you.

    “Listen doll, I don’t think anybody wants eight wanted criminals in their living room but you don’t have a choice, okay!? Neither of us would be here if we had a better choice but we fucking don’t, so why don’t you make this easier for all of us and cooperate?”

    You had no choice but to nod, as you swallowed nervously. San let go of you and sighed, disappointed that he had to resource to violence.

   There was an awkward silence, that the male you had known the longest felt the obligation to fill. 

    “So, uhm, these are my friends… “ He said and began introducing them one by one.

    Some of the men remained expressionless, only giving you a nod as a greeting, while a couple smiled politely and the rest chimed a small ‘hello’. 

   “Did you… All go in for the same thing?”

   “Friendship goals, right?” The male you now knew to be named Mingi said, stealing a smile out of you. 

   There was the heavy silence again… And you searched deep in your head for what could solve the awkwardness.

    “Are you guys hungry? I don’t have enough food here but I could go out and buy some chicken. I don’t think it’s safe to have people deliver.”

    They all agreed and so you went on your way, to buy food for all the unwanted guests. It was probably a bad idea to go out on your own and carry all this chicken and alcohol (that you bought hoping that the eight men would become bubblier and less threatening after consuming it) but you still thought that was a better scenario than being caught in public with a wanted criminal. So after about forty-five minutes of struggling, you managed to get into the house with three huge bags: two for the chicken and one for the drinks. 

    Their eyes all lit up once you stepped foot inside of the house and suddenly they resembled little kids. The men instantly attacked the food, proceeding to hurriedly unwrap the chicken.

    “Damn Y/N, were you in jail too?” San asked when he saw you hungrily devour the food. It seemed like you too hadn’t eaten anything that good in years.

    You quickly flipped him off and continued eating. 

  Your speculations were correct, and as the empty alcohol bottles started piling up, the room started echoing with happy chatter and laughter. 

   All of the stress and panic about the situation started washing off from them as the hours passed by and you had to admit, hadn’t they been wanted criminals you wouldn’t have minded being a part of their odd friend group.

    “H-hey Y/N, you should sit here, it’s more comfortable.” San joked with a sly smirk, as he patted his lap.

     “Keep trying, lover boy.” You told him as you rolled your eyes.

     San then placed his hands around your waist and pulled you to sit on his lap, keeping a slight grip on your body, soft enough for you to leave if you were uncomfortable. 

    “Was this a good enough try, doll?” He whispered in your ear.

    You said nothing, and your silence made him chuckle as he pulled you back, until your back hit his chest. Somehow he was right. It did feel more comfortable… And maybe it was the alcohol, or the fact that San was actually insanely hot, but all of the tension left in your body evaporated, and you felt yourself melt into his touch. 

    All of the sounds started fading into the background and you didn’t even acknowledge the rest of the boys, as all you could feel was the way San was drawing shapes on your thighs with his long fingers, and how you wanted them a little farther up your body. You pressed your thighs against each other, and this action didn’t go unnoticed by San, who squeezed them tighter in his hold and groaned in your ear. 

    You could feel a hard-on beginning to form in San’s pants, as it began poking your ass. You shifted in his lap, causing his boner to harden by the second. He gripped his waist tighter and pressed you down on his growing problem. 

     “I really want you, doll, I think you want me too…” He whispered in your ear. 

     “You’re imagining things San.” 

      He rolled his hips up and held you in place, so you could feel every curve of his fully hardened member press against you. Of course he noticed the way you inhaled shakily and giggled. Giggled. 

     San was indeed an intriguing person…

     He kissed a couple of spots on your neck, and bit down on an area he found softer, managing to steal a small whimper out of you. 

     A couple of heads turned towards you and they smirked, acknowledging what was happening, but not wanting to bother or steal the moment away. They turned their attention back to the other men, leaving you two isolated once more. 

    “Please, let me fuck you, doll… I wanna feel how well you clench around me. Will you let me do that?”

    Your mind was clouded by pleasure and curiosity, and so you stood up and grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards your bedroom, not even bothering to give him a verbal response.

    The second the male heard the door click, he pushed you against it with his body and smashed his lips against yours. His hands were obsessed with your hips and thighs, constantly squeezing them as you grinded against his crotch. 

     He tapped the back of your legs and you wrapped them around him. San carried you to the bed as if you were made of feathers, and even though his tongue was harsh against yours, the way he let you down on the bed was soft.

      The two of you only pulled away when the confinement of your clothes started becoming unbearable. You peeled the work clothes (that you had never changed from) hastily from your body. San undressed just as quickly, and he couldn’t believe his view. After all that time being incarcerated he managed to have someone so good looking so willing to fuck him… He smirked and slapped your thighs, proceeding to grab them as he kissed your jaw, then your neck, then your chest, then your stomach, only stopping when his lips were dangerously close to a place you’d be wishing for him to touch you. He stopped and looked up at you. God, he wished he could take a picture of you right now… All jittery and messy, needy and aching for his touch. 

   "F-Fuck San, please!“ You begged, finally, when the teasing became too much. 

   "Anythin’ for you, doll." 

  He teased your entrance with his tongue before entering two fingers, as to prepare you for what was to come. San squeezed and bit your thighs as his fingers entered you in a high speed. 

    "Oh my G-God, San- I want you in me." 

    He groaned at your neediness, and shoved the fingers that had previously been in you past your lips. 

    You maintained eye contact as you sucked slowly on his digits.

    San lined up his cock with your entrance and pushed into you slowly, causing you to wince slightly and bite his fingers. 

    The male immediately removed his hand and moved both his hands to rest on your waist. 

    "Y-you okay, doll?” He asked, afraid he’d hurt you. 

    "Yes- yes, move…" 

     San bottomed out inside you with a loud groan. He didn’t move for a second, trying to take in how tight you were and how good he felt. And even though he tried to hold back by starting to thrust into you slowly, he soon lost control. His hips snapped against yours uncontrollably fast and neither of you cared if the moans and whimpers could be heard in the next room. 

    "S-shit, look at you doll, taking my cock like a good girl-“ 

     You gripped his arms, digging your nails into his skin, loving the way he talked to you. 

    Something about seeing all of those artworks in san’s body made you feel more attracted to the male. 

   "You feel so good inside me Sannie.”

    The pet name and the little praise caused his cock to twitch inside of you, and you could tell he was almost there, by the sloppiness of his thrusts. 

    You wanted to see what he looked like in pure lust, you wanted to do the dirtiest things with this man, his sinful figure bigging out someone you didn’t even know you had in you. 

     "I-I need to cum doll, where do you want me to-“ 

    "Inside me! Please, please cum inside me San!” You begged as you clung onto him for dear life. 

    His cock twitched once more, and he looked at you with a mix of surprise and lust in his eyes. 

    "Y/N are you sure cause-“ 

    "Fucking breed me, San! I want your cum dripping out of me, please!" 

   The intensity of his thrusts increased as did the grip he had on you. 

    "You want me to breed you? Hm? Make you mine forever? Turn you into a bad girl for me? Y-you’re so dirty…”

   "Y-yes! God yes!“ 

    "Oh f-fuck!” Was the last thing he managed to yell as he buried his member deep inside of you, shooting white spurts of cum that covered your walls. 

    It was the way his body trembled and the way his mouth fell open with small whimpers that caused you to climax right after him. 

   His sweaty body collapsed on top of yours as he slowly pulled out, and you could feel the cum drip out of your hole. 

   For a couple of seconds all that could be heard was the heavy panting, until San lifted his head and looked at you. 

    "Fuck, I guess you belong to me now…“

#kwritersworldnet #ateezincnet #san #choi san #choi san smut #san smut #san ateez smut #ateez smut #ateez san smut #ateez breeding kink #ateez kink #ateez kink smut #ateez choi san smut #ateez san kink #ateez san kink smut #ateez scenario #ateez san scenarios #ateez san scenario #ateez scenarios #ateez san smut scenario #san reader #san x reader #san reader smut #san x reader smut #san yn smut

[praphit]

Happy New Year! (hopefully, cuz... whew!)

Ugh! Let's get this year over with; what do you say?? I don't even want to rehash the year like I normally would around this time of year.

Pre-COVID seems like so long ago: We were out at bars, games, concerts, and parties of strangers. We were dancing all up on each other, we were passing the bottle around, we were grabbing all kinds of doorknobs with no concerns. Kids were planning to soon graduate and step into their hopeful, bright futures. Adults were planning vacations around the world to escape a once hopeful present.

Times were good! Look at this groundhog eating pizza. 

Not a care in the world.

And then, Thanos snapped his fingers, the world turned into shit, and we all realized how much we cared about Tom Hanks.

Can you imagine if that were literal? I think someone should get another gauntlet and turn planets into literal piles of crap. A new villain - "Poopfingers"

Ew... I know. I'm sorry.

Like I said, I don't want to talk about that stuff. I'd rather focus on entertainment instead. Join me for a few awards that I like to call "The Praphies"

MOVIE OF THE YEAR -

"WAP"

I know what you're thinking - "That's not a movie." Meh, it's movie-ish.

It's got two protagonists, whom are trapped in a mansion. It kinda reminds me of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, but instead of chocolate being manufactured, we'd got... pleasure. Who doesn't want more pleasure after the year we've had??

There's a lot of weird things happening in the mansion, so that’s good for the plot. Plus, these ladies are all about... empowerment? - I guess?

Sure.

Kylie Jenner shows up for some reason, so I'm sure she's up to something; maybe she's the villain. And according to the lyrics "there's some whores in this house". Will they get rid of the "whores"? Will they embrace the whores? Perhaps this word will be taken back, and used as a term of endearment.

As mama looks at her daughter, walking bravely back into schools some day "That's my lil whore." Maybe we're all whores - what a twist.

It's a good picture. One of Scorsese's best. He did direct it right? I think so.

BEST ACTOR -

This one was a close race for me:

Jeanise Jones (Borat 2 - on the right) 

This woman, who was not in on the joke, deserves a medal. She's the star.

Joe Exotic (The Tiger King)

Anyone standing behind Trump during those Rona briefings, who can hold a straight face.

Technically, Joe and Jeanise aren't actors, and Trump's people are... you know, TRUMP'S people, so I give the award to Mario Lopez for his role as Sexy Colonel Sanders.

Did y'all watch "A Recipe for Seduction?" It's entertaining. It was my runner-up for MOY.

SHOW OF THE YEAR -

Easy - "The Tiger King" for keeping us all together in the beginning of this 2020 corona mess.

Which leads me to MY person of the year (cuz let's be honest, Uncle Joe and Kamala... no)

The POY is -

Carole Baskin - 

We all know that she murdered her husband, and yet she took over Joe's zoo property, continues her animal rights activism while being openly weird as hell, and was last seen being applauded on "Dancing with the Stars".

Only in America.

Animated action of the year - “Soul” for bringing us this negro, 

played by Tina Fey :)

I’m just joking ( I love Tina Fey)... well, she does play him, but it’s not like that; still makes me laugh though. At least she didn’t have to worry about blackface.

I like my action flicks. They all can't be tear-jerkers like "WAP".

Which leads us to ACTION HERO OF THE YEAR --- Kiera Allen

If you saw the movie "Run" then you know this actress. She is the acrobatic, wheelchair-bound star of the movie. She is in a wheelchair in real life. In this movie she breaks through one window, climbs across a rooftop, breaks through another window, all with water in her mouth for a special finishing trick to end the scene. And she throws herself down a couple of flights of stairs. Let's see Liam Neeson try to do that!

I'm serious when I say - I expect to see her in the next "Fast & Furious" film.

Award for LEAST FUX GIVEN - Ricky Gervais, for lighting Hollywood on fire.

Athlete - TEAM JLo and Shakira

 --- sidelined me (I attempted to dance like Shakira at work) and sent souls to hell 

(that's some powerful booty shaking... and or just another example of white people being mad at brown people for existing)

SONG OF THE YEAR - 

Vin Diesel’s "Feels like I do" - not up for debate. 

Name another action star in 2020 with a single.

Album of the Year - "The Lion King: The Gift / Black is King" - by Beyonce

We didn't feel much like royalty, but at least we were being heard... well, for a lil bit; a lot more than I ever remember us being heard.

Remember when white people in Hollywood felt so much shame that they did this?

We had corporations like the NFL tryna pretend to be woke. Aunt Jemima and that Native American woman on the butter were freed

 (though they did keep the land).

White people were afraid, and thought that perhaps this album was going to spark the second coming of Black Jesus.

It's interesting -  black people protested (mostly peacefully); wanting justice, and white people got anxious.   People started rioting and looting because of injustices rooted to this country's original sin, and white people, who's ancestors committed this sin, shook their heads at us in shame. Black people and anyone (of any color) standing with them were treated as hostiles, while white people with guns, shooting at black people were hailed as heroes.

What a time. 

I wish Black Jesus really did come back to these Beyonce tunes.

Oh, and this stuff happened too

Toobin (Ha! This guy )

ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR (4 years straight)- 

Trump

It's not even close. I was going to suggest that the dude from "The Vow" being a strong runner up, but even that would be disrespectful to Trump's assholery.

The world was on fire (metaphorically and literally), and Trump as our leader, threw gasoline on it. "BLM" came along to be heard and get justice for George Floyd, and Trump convinced his worshippers that BLM is a terrorist group. He shot away protesters, so he could pose awkwardly with a bible (doing God's work - this “work” included telling us to do the opposite of what physicians around the world plead with us to do during a pandemic, pushing drugs on us that these same physicians say no to, and telling us to inject ourselves with bleach. Hallelujah!). He accused Biden of corruption (pot calling kettle black). He loses to Biden, but fights the results with zero evidence, and at the sore loser rallies, there were stabbings and arrests, to which Trump praises their efforts.

A round of applause for the Michael Jordan of Assholes.

Donald J. Trump!

RESPECT!

Lastly, The Praphie (most coveted of awards)

The nominees are -

Kaylen Ward - raised over one million dollars for the Australia fires relief, by passing out nude photos of herself... yep. Seriously, look it up. Well, maybe don’t do that:)

Michael Jordan -  "The Last Dance" was the only sports content for a sports addict like myself. MJ was the drug we needed.

Dr. Fauci - Really for putting up with us. 

Dave Chappelle - a hell of a year for him. Plus, he was dropping N-Bombs and smoking on SNL

The Fly on Mike Pence's head. 

Kamala Harris

Cardi B - just because

The winner is - Dave Chappelle

Not only for his great year in comedy (in this bleeped up year), but he has evolved into a modern day prophet. Who would have thought that the guy who made "Half Baked"

would be the one we'd seek out when racial tensions got to the highest levels this year??

Kaylen Ward would have won it, if she had continued her efforts. She could have raised some funds for Greta Thunberg. She could have used her nudity along-side protesters, or even joined doctors around the world, raising money for a vaccine. Smh. That's a shame.

In thinking about Chappelle's evolution, I'm reminded that we're all processing and changing as a result of this year. Some will change for the better, and others for the worse. Some will go to the depths only to rise up again. Regardless, of how you handle it, it's important to know who your true peeps are. Who loves you? Who’s got your back? Who do you love?  We're all going to need true peeps to help us endure. Which leads me to my slogan for next year.

"If you love something let it go, if it doesn't return to you. Hunt it down and kill it." Idk about you, but that touches my heart.

Enjoy yourselves as much as you can tonight, and by that I mean safely :) Some of you might want to consider going to bed early, just to end this year faster.

Happy New Year, everyone!

#Happy New Year #john praphit #praphitproductions.com #2020 #2021 #movies #music #animation #tv #dave chappelle #trump #kaylen ward #tina fey #soul #jlo #shakira #praphit #thanos #covid19 #wap #a recipe for seduction

[katewaliss]

1x1 plot list!

hello girls, gays and theys! my name is crissy, i’m 21, go by she/her pronouns and live in the PST timezone. i am celebrating bullshitting my way through my junior year with ( copious amounts of tequila but also ) make a list of 1x1 ideas / plot bunnies because i need something to do during this Borentine and what better way to spend it then making myself cry with ships! 

i primarily send really long keysmash head cannons through discord and the ims, but i am also down to do replies ( on tumblr or discord ) and ask memes are my most favorite. i am introverted af but very excited abt ships so i really like having rp partners who like want to stay up all night and write and scream with me, so if that sounds like u, come thru! 

if u like any of these please don’t hesitate to shoot me an im! 

also my discord is daddy devito#2918 ( & yes, i do hate myself  )

were starting with mermaids bc i love mermaids

ALSO YES I LIKE OPPOSITE PLOTS DONT @@@@@ ME!!!!!

ALSO ALL OF THESE PLOTS CAN BE GAY! BE GAY DO CRIMES!

i’ve always kind of wanted one based loosely on these pictures x, x, x. im thinking ponyo meets enchanted meets h20 little mermaid AF realness! like maybe hes this lil regular boy high school college student taking pictures and stuff and sees this girl wash up on the shore looking very confused. so he helps her and you know, shes a little hysterical and cant walk very well, takes her into his apartment puts a towel over here bc she like keeps talking abt how shes a mermaid and hes like oh my god shes crazy ahh. she keeps saying her dad is king of the ocean and hes like???? do u have a last name? and the police dont know anything abt her she has no file, no id, no finger print in the database? 

basically the mermaid is staying w the college student in his apartment and he like teaches her what the microwave and the tv is and its very soft  they fall in luv maybe drama he has a girl friend who sucks a lot who is angry abt mermaid girl idk maybe the government realizes and tries to steal her! fun THAT FIRST PIC? MAYBE HE SAVED HER WHEN HE WAS A KID ONCE FROM DROWNING!!! AHHH

alternatively i found these pictures were are in the same vein very aquamarine x, x, x, lifeguard off duty surfing and he gets stuck in a gnarly wave and almost drowns but this mermaid saves his life! and he comes to see her a lot on the beach and they hang out and fall in love he teaches her how to speak english shows her his phone!!! MAYBE THE GOVERNMENT IS ALSO POACHING HER WE LOVE DRAMA

ok last mermaid plot? BUT ITS A SIREN PLOT!!!!!!! these sirens/a siren wipes out this sailors entire ship with the sirens song they all get drowned/eaten .... but plot twist! this one sailor homie lives bc he is DEAF and therefore IMMUNE TO THE SIREN SONG!! so this siren keeps tryna sing at him and its not working and u know they fall in love good stuff MORE POACHES MORE PIRATES MORE GOVERNMENT TRYNA KILL THE AQUATIC AMERICAN BC I LOVE SUFFERING modern or maybe set back in the day???? spicy

anthour or a sculptor that writes a book w a main character or makes a statue and it comes to life and has no perception of human stuff and is like a big alien

also literally all of these plots can be made gay as the flyest bi i ENCOURAGE it!!!! i will play either character in any of them pls tell me which one u like if u like one

pls the clown clown valedictorian plot

ok speaking of giving the gays everything they want

damn i just want a cheesy wlw 1x1 plot where the first girl is a famous celebrity hella spoiled very purse dog paris hilton type and her fancy convertible sports car breaks down smack dab in a small ass hick nowheresville town and this flannel wearing mannerless tomboy mechanic comes to fix her car but rich girl is stuck in town a few days while they order the part she needs for her car bc it’s a small town they don’t have it and they get closer and the celebrity girl is humbled by the town and learns a lot abt the world and herself just ,, good times LISTEN!!!! zendaya and kristine froseth ???? SPICY

ok maybe a period piece lady knight / princess plot where she was personally assignment to the princess but maybe its a whole mulan thing where no one knows the night is a girl and is posing as a man bc women were allowed to be knights and the princess is betrothed to some loser prince once again ill play either

princess body guard plots always smack

ok princess protection program BUT GET THIS instead of that its my boy dmitri who is the heir to the russian throne or some made up european country but theres an assasination attempt so hes told he has to go into witness protection. and this dude or girls dad is head of cia/fbi and dmitri has to pose as a foreign exchange student at y/ns college and be shown around/baby sat by them. they hate eachother. probably bc dmitri is obnoxious and entitled and sleeps w everyone. he was a matthew daddario fc but not that necessary!

cheerleaders on opposite squads who got the sexual tension!!!!

plot based off hollywood the netflix limited series where its 1940s-1950s hollywood and maybe actors falling in love, an actor and a director? OR omg even better an actor falling in love with some sort of stage crew, lighting, camera person............SPICY! 

a beauty / makeup youtube influencer and a pranking rant gaming sort of youtuber and they have to collab and hate it points if its gay

that cliche plot where ur friends older brother is hot

ok kstew / naomi scott .....that is such.....a wave

UGLY BETTY PLOT BITCH!!!!!! REVERSE THE ROLES OR MAKE IT GAY

i saw this gifset of margo robbie and michael b jordan talking abt how they are eachothers celebrity crush and it got my brain turning 

a very whimsical hopeless romantic artist who finds a muse in a no nonsense american college student studying law studying abroad

PERCY JACKSON BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE HUNGER GAMES BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

business man/prodigal son who falls in love with a stripper/escort

harry potter......next gen................please.............scorose............but like can i play ravenclaw soft boy nothing like draco scorpio BUT ALSO ALL THE HP i also really like ocs also BEAUXBATONS DRUMSTRANG ( if anyone wants to help me w a not hogwarts but other wizarding school rp let me know )

not to b cliche but uh....pastors son bad boy plot yes!

alternatively bad girl good boy/girl plot yes! ( can i pls play bad girl seulgi its Dire )

horror until dawn stuff

soul eater? death note? OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB BITCH!!!! ANIME!

the epically cliche popular person failing math and is gonna get kicked off cheer gets tutored by biggest loser in school and only agrees to tutor her in math if she teaches them how to be cool to impress crush (popular persons friend) and they do that, they start to bond, she gives nerd a makeover the whole school falls in love with them and the popular girls real jealous and wHEw

a disgruntled detective whos wife cheated on him with his partner and he drinks everyday (also could b a lady) throws himself into work and this waitress at the diner he works at who is the opposite of him and very sunshiney

OKAY HANNIBAL but like the hannibal is a lady!

superhero x villian plot! spicy maybe theyre exes! or they went to the same super power school? 

SPEAKING OF SUPERHEROS I WANT A MIRACULOUS LADYBUG PLOT RIGHT FUCKING NOW SOMEONE PLAY CHOU TZUYU AS MARINETTE!!!!!!!!!

also every disney plot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think this will get added to but for now this is the gist HIT ME THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!

#1x1 rp #1x1 #1x1 plot #plot bunny #discord rp

[morganisboringg]

Omegle friendship story ;-;

Stranger: m

You: hiya

You: f

Stranger: bonjour

You: hola

Stranger: im 18 bitchh

You: im 14 hoeee

Stranger: shidddd

Stranger: 😂😂

You: yeah im a childdd

Stranger: lmao

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: but im not a creepy guy so ur good 👌🏼

Stranger: hahaha

You: yeah ie had a 20 year old try to keep talking with me

You: and a 17 yr old ask if i have a nice ass XD ive delt with creepy guys XD

Stranger: hahaha dudes are horny

Stranger: used to be like that too but i realized its wrong

Stranger: so yeah just vibing rn

Stranger: 😤😤😤

You: yeah they are, i be vibin too im watching sky high B)

Stranger: lol

Stranger: im watching rick&morty

Stranger: im the ultimate virgin

You: lmaoooooo , i mean u have to also like game theory and film theory for that but ur close XD

Stranger: never heard of that

Stranger: 😂

You: theyre nerdy yt channels, they make theorys on games and films and shows and stuff

You: they have a bunch on rick and morty

Stranger: oh

Stranger: i watch some of those

Stranger: 😤😂

Stranger: im an ‘adult’ child

You: yeah i do too, i literally have their merch

Stranger: hahahaha

You: oh i hope to be an adult child bc gRosS adults

Stranger: yeah i dont wanna be an adult

You: me either, adults get stares when they only dress in hot topic clothes why would i want that

Stranger: hahahah yeah

Stranger: thats the reason i dont have a gf

Stranger: bc im too childish

You: well then u just havent found the right childish girl

Stranger: that is a fact

You: might i reccomend the single rider lines at like amusement parks XD

Stranger: hahaha why

You: ive seen plenty of dudes shoot there shot there bc the girls are by themselves then they get to ride a rollercoaster together

Stranger: hahah yeah thats fun

Stranger: maybe i wikk

Stranger: :)

You: yeah XD then if it works out a cute date at an amusement park!

Stranger: hahah yeah

Stranger: do u have a amusement park obsession

Stranger: lmaoo

You: uh- thats uniMPORTANTTT

Stranger: hahahhah

You: theres food and adreniline whats not to love!

Stranger: i love them too

Stranger: i once forced my cousin to ride the same coaster 12 times in a row

You: ive ridden king da ka the tallest rollercoaster in the world XD

Stranger: he puked after

You: lmaoooo sounds like smth id do

Stranger: hahaha

You: but then id just say again and go again XD

Stranger: hahahah same

Stranger: adter he threw up i went alone

Stranger: lmao

Stranger: dude i need some advice

You: sure

Stranger: my friends sister (shes 15) has a crush on me

Stranger: what do i do

You: oh shit uh- tell her shes too young

You: or like take her on a cute date but say its a friends date

You: thats a nice way to friend zone sm1

Stranger: yeah true

Stranger: its kinda weird

Stranger: my friend says he doesnt mind

Stranger: 😂

Stranger: but still wekrd

Stranger: weird

You: well thats uh getting to chris hansen levels so gotta shoot her down lmao

Stranger: yeah hahaha

You: but like yk when like a little sisters older siblings s/o would take them on a "date" to show them how to be treated u could do that- idk

Stranger: yeah idkk

Stranger: we shall see

You: we shall broski, just uh dont do anything that chris hansen would ask u to sit down with him over XD

Stranger: hahahah

Stranger: i have no idea who that is

Stranger: oh i looked it up

You: yeah XD

Stranger: lmao

Stranger: yeah like it is weird but not the age difference

Stranger: 3 years is not a lot

You: oh abt the friends sibling thing? XD

Stranger: ya

You: ik 3 years isnt alot in like the grand scheme of stuff but NOW 3 years is the difference between 6th graders and freshman and thats really weird

Stranger: yeah true true

You: and abt them being a friends sibling, um dont pull a kissing booth and be all dating behind everyones back- that movie was weird in general smh

Stranger: hahah

Stranger: yeah i wont

Stranger: his mom told me i would be a good son in law

You: LMAO too soon??

Stranger: 😂

Stranger: yeah right ilnow

You: 1) u arent even dating and 2) u think its weird

You: that would creep me tf out

Stranger: yeah but i dont really care

Stranger: i take it as a compliment

Stranger: it means im nice

You: yeah, im just a generally akward perso so XD

Stranger: hahahaha

You: but like uh if u dont wanna date a friends sibling dont, in most movies thats like number one best friend code no dating sibkings

Stranger: yeah i dont really care if my friend doesnt mins

Stranger: but i dont like her

Stranger: i like someone else

Stranger: and she doesnt like me back

Stranger: 🙃🙂

You: oh cool, aw that suckss u seem really chill and have a good personality so idk whats not to like thats prob my pansexual talking tho XD

Stranger: hahha

Stranger: ur attracted to pans?

Stranger: thanks lmao yeah idk

You: no i came out of the pantry smh

Stranger: 🤯🤯🤯🤯

You: common misconseption XD

Stranger: yeah shes my girl best friend

Stranger: so thats why she doesnt like me

Stranger: but maybe some daaaaaayv

You: oooo thats a hard place to get out of the f r i e n d z o n e

Stranger: ivee been tryyiiiiiiiing

Stranger: to make u love meeee

Stranger: but everything i try

You: *blasts u belong with me by taylor swift on a boombox* now go stand outside her window

Stranger: just takes you further from me

You: XD

Stranger: ghost town by kanye west is such a good song

You: oh i dont think ive listened to it lmao too much emo music and musicals

Stranger: you like kid cudi

You: who..? ugh i feel stupid not knowing stuff

Stranger: ur too young

Stranger: hes a legend

Stranger: makes good music u should listen to him

Stranger: kind of drug/depresion related

You: oh okay, that sounds like smth id listen too XD

Stranger: listen to love. by him on youtube or soundcloud

Stranger: it isnt on spotify

You: oh okay, i use amazon music like a loser XD

Stranger: oh

Stranger: yeah its only on yt or soundcloud lmao

Stranger: hahah doesnt matter right

You: yeah lmao

You: u wanna be friends? its ok to say no cause im 14 XD

You: im morgan btw whats ur name?

Stranger: hahaha aw thats a nice thing to ask

Stranger: but i just came on here to twlk to random people :( sorry

You: im not good at the whole "making friends" thing so idk what to do but ask lmao

Stranger: my name is julian

You: oh okay

Stranger: im sure u will make friends some day

You: OMG ofc its julian- i meet guys with m names or julius/julians never anything else

Stranger: hahaha what do y mean

You: i mean in the past week ive met a mike, mikey, and a mick then ive met like 4 julius' and 2 julians

Stranger: ahhaha wow

Stranger: thats funny

You: i swear idk what is up but smth is

You: my fbi agent is on smth ig

Stranger: hahahhahaha

Stranger: tryna set u up

You: yeah they want either an m&m or m j XD just m&ms or michael jackson IDFK XD

Stranger: haahahah

Stranger: so when did u find out u were pan sexual

You: uh when i was 11 i thinkk

Stranger: wow

Stranger: when i was 11 i was eating boogers out of my nose

You: yeah i knew i wasnt straight since like pre school girls are just too cute lmao

You: lmao thanks for sharing

Stranger: that is a facr

Stranger: women are cute

You: yeah they are XD

Stranger: hahaha

You: ummm idk what to talk abt now lol

Stranger: yeah me too lol

You: uh do u like heathers? like the movie or the musical

Stranger: never heard of it

You: REALLY??

You: my friends saying to skip u smh but i wouldnt dare

Stranger: what do u mean hahah

You: heathers is like a cult classic 80s movie like breakfast club or 16 candles or the outsiders

Stranger: ohh ok hahah

Stranger: i dont watch a lit of old movies

You: u know what those are right? especially the outsiders?

Stranger: only fiction

Stranger: never heard of them

You: U HAVENT???

You: OMG I SWEARR IF I KNEW U IRL ID LIKE FORCE U TO WATCH IT ITS THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD MMMMMMm

Stranger: whats sliced bread

Stranger: 😂😂😂😂

Stranger: i swear i dont watch movies

You: like a loaf of bread XD its an expression

Stranger: oh lolllll

You: but like look up dallas winston MMMMM I LOVE THAT MAN

Stranger: hahah ok

Stranger: this was a fun talk dude hahah

Stranger: i ahve to go eat rn

You: okay byee nice talk too bad we cant be friends i wish u luck <3

Stranger: were kind of stranger friends

Stranger: so count me as a friend

Stranger: :S

You: okay too bad after this we'll never talk again

You: S?

Stranger: idk lmao

Stranger: yeah but thats life

Stranger: byeee 😘

You: yeah it is byeeee

Stranger has disconnected.

#omegle meirl

[yoshimickster]

RETURN OF THE RWBY MICKSTERECAPS-(Rwby Volume 6x01 “Argus Limited” spoilers)

HEY EVERYBLOODY-sorry I’m a day late, went to a punk show and got home around 2 AM-EITHER WEITHER-let’s get to the show!

WE START OUT WITH-

A niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice and snowy landscape, *SIGH* so peaceful-BUT SUDDENLY-

0:28 First rule of Rwby, any scene that starts with a train is gon’ have SHIT GOIN’ DOWN YO!

0:32 See that? Giant fluffy Manticore Grimm-BUT THAT FUCKER GETS SLASHED-

0:38 I love the smell of Grimm dust *SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFF* smells like victory-BUT THEN-

0:45 A WILD WEISS APPEARS-all smilin’ and KICKIN’ ASS!

0:57 AND FINALLY-

BUMBLEBEE-fighting together with absolutely no awkward tension between the two of them at a-PFFT-HAHAHAHAHA-oh I couldn’t say that with a straight face, but seriously they’re in a better place than last season. ALSO-

1:05  TEAM JNR-fashionably late as always, the sassy bitches.

Nora: WHY IS IT ALWAYS SOMETHING?!

Jaune: BECAUSE WE TRAVEL WITH MILO MURPHY’S ALCOHOLIC COUSIN!

And everybody just starst BLASTING THE SHIT OUT OF GRIMM-Ren sniping with knife guns, Jaune blocking with his shield, and Nora just doing her thing-ALSO-

1:17 FIRST RENORA MOMENT OF THE SEASON-at least ONE section of the shippers will be sated...although I DO find it weird how the two haven’t kissed on screen  yet, I mean like why not? They are UNDOUBTEDLY a couple now, what they tryna hide? Its kinda like how in a lot of Shonen manga when NO official couple kisses on screen, just odd to me.

Everything’s going fine...well fine for battle standards-UNTIL-

1:24 Jaune: TUNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!

Damn Miles has some pipes.

Everybah starts RUNNIN’ to the tunnel-BUT-

1:29

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWeiss gets suckerblasted by one of the manticore Grimm-IS THIS HER END?! 

NOPE-almost girlfriend to the rescue! AND THEN-

1:33 WHITEROSE COMBO MOVE-awesome.

WOO-that was one god damn minute and a half, like seriously! After that triumphant scene I’m sure we won’t transition to something absolutely horrifyi-

2:23 Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus Adam, you do NOT take getting dumped lightly do you? Ah well, at least he has that expensive chai-

2:32 *SLASH*

DAMMIT ADAM-what’d that chair ever do to you? Could’ve at least sold it at a Pawn shop, got a couple hundred Lien I’m betting, absolutely wasteful, SHAME Adam-SHAME! 

ATHENCUTTO-

2:44 THE TRAIN STATION FROM AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER-but in the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuture! Nah it ain’t, but it TOTALLY looks like that right?

Qrow than gives a shameless recap-I MEAN-reads his own letter that he’s sending to General Ironwood(he probably wrote it drunk so I’m betting he was checking for spalling erors...don’t you JODGE me) which he ends with-

3:43 “See you soon, bro”.

‘Daaaaaaaaw!

BUT THEN-a wild Ruby appears, utterly excited that her train’s coming up so she could get out of that god damned train station! I understand her antsyness, the wait can be a NIGHTMARE!

3:50

Well that hall way has enough space, I’m sure Ruby can just saunter on over to the gift shop-

...or use her semblance and dash on over there like a crazy person. One of these days your gonna HIT someone young lady-GAH!

Team...RWBY...OJNR...Ruby O’Junior, yeah let’s go with that, then has a short moment of shooting the shit.

Heh, look at these two, fussing over gifts-PROTECT THESE SWEET BABY CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS! 

ALSO-a random Nora Beach fantasy!

...that apparently leaked its way into reality. Oscar H. Pines, Nora is so thirsty to see Ren in a swimsuit she alters time and SPACE!

BUT-just when you thought everybody is completely happy about this-

4:31 WEISS-casually reminds everyone how hard it was for her to escape her abusive father, and how this is hard for her-CONTINUITY!

After Ruby than gives the obligatory pep-talk-WE ARE INTRODUCED TO-

-Dee and Dudley, two corrupt pro-huntsman who try to shake down Ruby O’Junior, one of whom is JUST 2 weeks from retirement.

They also condescendingly tell them they’ll give them extra protection if they pay them...did...did these idiots NOT watch the news?! THEY’RE PRACTICALLY A SUPERHERO TEAM!

AND NOW-the greatest Rwby Reaction pose of ALL time-

5:05

THIS right here, THIS is art.

Qrow than shows up and GIVES THEM THE BUSINESS! No-one tries to shake down HIS kids! 

5:17

Look at Dee’s dumbfounded ass face after talking back, this is Qrow fucking BRANWEN mother fucker! Now go lock that gate that Adam sneaked into!

5:48 Oscar: I’m sure glad its our job saving the world and not theirs.

Jaune: Yeah, now if ONLY one of us didn’t hide a billion secrets from all of us because reasons.

Ozpin: Okay let me at him.

Oscar: YOU SIT IN YOUR SHAME OLD MAN!

After that, everyone in Team Ruby O’Hara is READY to go, except for Blake which Weiss points out...in the best way possible-

5:55 Weiss: Just waiting for Blake, as usual.

HAHA-she abandoned her team for months on end.

A THEN CUT TO-

6:02 Blake saying good-bye to her almost-ex-girlfriend Ilia, and its just SWEET.

6:24 WHOA-that’s a little forward Ili-

6:25 Ooooooooooh that was DIRTY Rooster Teeth, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID! DAH-but its still a cute good bye-ALSO-

6:55 BEST BOY SUN WUKONG-here to say good bye as well!

OH-and Neptune’s here too. Hi Neptune, still living under that idiotic lady killer facade?

Neptune: OH...I didn’t know Ilia was gonna be here.

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyup.

7:22 Blake: Wrong tree.

Sun: Yeah teaching him gaydar is one of many many MANY reasons I gotta rejoin my team.

The two than have a nice heart to heart about where they’re going in life, Sun needs to go back to Vacuo to be with his team he LITERALLY abandoned, Blake needs to save the world from a Maleficent cosplayer, they’re just passing ships in the night and it comes to a head...when Sun says this-

7:55 Sun:I GO WHERE I’M NEEDED...and...you don’t need me anymore!

Blake:...well when you say it like that it sound sad.

Aw man, sad Blake ears.

Sun(paraphrased): Despite everything I had a lot of fun but-

-you’re with who you’re supposed to be with now.

Bumblebee shippers will interpret THAT how they want to and I. Do. Not. Blame. THEM!

Sun and Blake than finish off their good bye saying they’ll probably see it again(and by probably we know definitely because COME ON Michael Jones is one of the heavy hitters in Rooster Teeth). The good bye then ends-

-with a cute Blacksun peck on the cheek. Feel conflicted about which ship for Blake is better yet? If not, you haven’t been watching this show so...what the hell are you reading this blog for? SHORT CUT TO-

8:49 

Neptune: I dunno man, it feels like your just letting her go.

Says the guy who can’t stick to one crush for more than five seconds. Notice how he didn’t say hi to Weiss? Because she’s logically MAD you blue haired Lothario!

AFTER THAT-there’s THIS little scene:

Sun: Now that your leader’s back and hardened from battle, I’ve gotta focus all of my time on getting you boys ready for the wastelands.

9:01

Neptune: *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*.

Anyone else think Neptune’s sigh might mean something more than just annoyance? I know Sun said his team was okay with the small hiatus, but what if they weren’t? Also maybe he was insulted by Sun implying that his team was just standing around without him, that while Sun was going on his adventure time standed still with them. Sun’s a good kid, and was mature enough to let Blake go once she got her real team back, but even to his own admittance he’s not the best leader. Just saying, food for thought.

A THEN CUT TO-

9:05 A nice snowy train where nothing bad is gonna happen. And INSIDE THE TRAIN-

-a totally not-suspicious looking Maz Napata from Star Wars meets old lady Katara from Legend of Korra who will TOTALLY not interact with the main cast...totally. BUT-enough about that-BEHOLD-

9:22 ALL of team Rwby sleeping in a bunkbed room like the good old days-HUZZAH! But all is not well AS THERE IS ALSO-

SUPER AWKWARD TENSION BETWEEN YANG AND BLAKE! But nah, Yang tells Blake that while things are weird and it’ll take a while before things get back to normal, she glad she and her posse are back together which PROMPTS-

THIS cuteness, which Whiterose shippers will interpret how they will.

Either way its TIME TO PLAY VIDEO GAM-

*CRASH*

10:31

DAMN that was a tough crash, it made Qrow lose his usually iron grip on booze! A THEN CUT TO-

...the...beginning of the episode...yeah I don’t know why they wrote the story like this either, I guess to start the season with a bang in showing how team RWBY is back in sync but I dunno.

But hey don’t worry, DEE AND DUDLEY are on the case, and I’m sure it TOTALLY doesn’t matter that Dee is two weeks from retirement!

*GASP* I am truly shocked. You shall always be remembered Dee, as a creepy weirdo who tried shake down a bunch of highschoolers for money.

THEN fighting fighting fighting, AND THEN-Dundey remembers he’s a security officer in charge of a high tech train!

12:06

I show four pictures here to point out that that WHOLE sequence took less than a MINUTE! Its like WE GET IT Rooster Teeth, you have an animation budget now! 

It also activated the turrets which take out ALL four of these Grimm, which I’m SURE the boss Grimm won’t notic-

12:46 Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhit it  noticed. It tells the lesser Grimm to attack the turrets and...oh god I found this by accident but it must be shared-

It landed-ASS FIRST! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And as to be expected knocking out the turrets didn’t JUST take out their defenses-

But ALSO-put the passengers in danger. Its like, use the turrets some Grimm die but they’ll attack the train more, DON’T use the turrets and they’ll attack anyway with less dead grimm, its a total catch 22!

Obviously bad-ass Qrow Branwen realizes and gets his TOP GUY TO STOP DUNDY-

...Oscar...desperate times I suppose.

Dundey like an idiot DOESN’T listen to the logical decision to turn off the glowing red fuck me spots for the Grimm to hit, and even MORE idiotically-

*CRACK* NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

...decides to hang from the SIDE of a train going into a tunnel....instead of finding a way to duck...how many good Huntsmen/Huntresses did Salem’s unnamed faction kill, because I can’t help thinking he and his late partner were scraped from the bottom of the barrel.

BACK in the train, everyone’s as completely calm as they possibly could be.

14:19 Qrow: I SAID, turn those damn things OFF! *SLAM*

Seriously, in this situation Qrow is SUPER calm, I’d wanna kick his ass too.

Ruby then ACTUALLY calmly asks the guy to turn off the turrets(she’s got resolve of STEEL that one) AND THEY COME UP WITH A PLAN-to use a combo of Jaune’s Aura-booster powers and Ren’s emotion mask powers to mask the train. A plan that I’m sure will go off without ONE hit-

15:32 Oscar: I’m afraid there’s one complication.

Son of a god damned bitch Oz, I SWEAR TO GOD!

“The Grimm are also attracted...to this.”

Logically team Rugby O’Shaunnesy is as pissed at Oz as the fans for putting everyone in danger without telling them because he’s a mysterious wizard.

BUT-they gotta stay on task and kick Oscar in the nuts later, THEY MUST SAVE THE PYORPLES!

Sadly, they realize that they have to seperate the car with the passengers masked by Ren and Jaune, from the one with Team RWBY Qrow and a dumb old man in a child’s body. The two teams have to say good bye.

Jaune: Only if you’ll promise you’ll meet us there.

Ruby: Promise.

Weiss: Just know it’ll probably take a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time for us to get there.

Qrow: I estimate about 12 to 14 epis-I MEAN days.

Team Bad-name-pun then SPRINGS INTO ACTION-getting all the passengers in the front car-

16:29

-including this one bespectacled passenger who will in no way affect the plot in any way no and forever QUIT ASKING ABOUT IT!

Blake then cuts the cable cars-BUT SEES-

GAH-stalker much? I can’t believe Adam followed them-OR DID HE-

Is it actually Adam, or PTSD induced hallucination, FIND OUT NEXT EPISODE!

And what’s cool about the next sequence is that it needed NO explanation, you get it obviously from what you see.

Rubes gets JUST enough of a signal from Nora-

-so the MOMENT the Grimm land-

17:02

“NOW!”

-they start the maneuver.

No real comment on here other than how I LOVE how the black and white color palette over-takes the colored train car.

And then BACK TO FIGHTING!

And dear GOD there are so many great Grimm-kills here, so many I’d be here ALL day cutting and pasting every single one so I’ll just put the boss take down-STEP ONE-

Yang slides herself to the back-

-Blake THROWS it to Yang-

-AND YANG JUST PUNCHES THAT SHIT BACK-

-tying that greasy Grimm in PLACE-WHICH WEISS CONTINUES-

-with a classic “Freeze that fucker’s wings off attack”(with assistance from Ruby and Qrow of course for shattering said wings)-and then Uncle and Niece-

-get they scythes in gear-

-AND THEY SLASH THAT BITCH IN TWO! AND.THIS.IS.JUST.THE.FIRST.EPISODE!

BUT-the beast lets out ONE last fireball knocking them off track and....EVERYONE IS OKAY-incluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuding-

-THIS LADY-whose name I’ve read is Maria Callavera! Turns out she WASN’T just a random side character, I couldn’t tell with how HEAVILY lampshaded it was!

AND THAT’S VOLUME 6 EP 1-a fantastic start to the season with AMAZING action and animation, and great story-progression. Minor criticism, I still feel they didn’t need to do a “Something hours earlier” thing with the train battle, they could’ve easily done the story in sequential order and it would have worked just as well if not better. BUT-I still loved it and I hope you did to. If you liked what you read, consider donating to my Paypal on my blog page, I’d appreciate it. SEE YA NEXT WEEK ON MICKSTERECAPS!

#rwby #rwby volume six #rwby volume 6 #6 spoilers #rwby 6 spoilers #rwby volume 6 spoilers #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #yang xiaolong #sun wukong #ilia amitola #ghira belladonna #adam taurus #oscar pine #professor ozpin #qrow branwen #jaune arc #nora valkyrie #lie ren #Rooster Teeth #roosterteeth #rooster teeth first #vrv #micksterecap #yoshmickster #maria calavera #dee and dudley

[hyenahunny]

AHS 8x07 Promo Breakdown

Heads up - possible/definite spoilers for the next episode

Welp I’m back on my bullshit, here we go - a fucking long shot-for-shot breakdown of the promo for American Horror Story Apocalypse’s 7th episode. This is hella long so I’m gonna put it under the cut but give it a look and tell me your thoughts.

1. It’s Mead! And she’s in the same store she was in when Michael knifed that butcher! It’s not that same day tho - her outfit is different.

2. Butcher guy behind his counter looking confused/shook, looking at something behind him and then turning back to face the camera

- pretty sure it’s not the same butcher Michael killed

3. Butcher guy wrappin’ up a hoof (what type idk i’m not a vet nor a farmer)

4. Mead lookin’ excited, and she’s finishing saying: “Just give me a pound and a half of goat’s hooves for Satanic zing.”

5. NEXT WEDNESDAY

6. Obviously in Robichaux’s. Ariel DrAmaTIcALLy walking through, holding a silver canister. A bunch of students droppin’ all around him, but he pays em no mind

7. Shot of his hand holding that same canister during that walk

8. Myrtle and Joan Collins (who is she playing for real is she still evie or??) sitting side by side at a table with hella food.

- it’s def in warlock high based on the background and lighting

- Joan says “Now they need to kill one of ours.” Which um makes it sound like they’ve killed a warlock? holy shit do they blame john henry moore’s death on the witches?? shit???

9. Baldwin Pennypacker (that’s literally on BD Wong’s imdb i can’t that’s the character’s actual name) in the dining room of Robichaux’s dining room blowing white dust off the top of the same canister we saw in shot 6 and 7 

- the plates are empty so dang they didn’t even get to eat

- Cordelia is standing at the head of the table with Joan Collins, who is still sitting while all the students behind them seem like they’re SCRAMBLIN’

10. oh SHEEEET it’s Cordy, Myrtle, Zoe, and one of their fuckin cool as hell henchmen are walking with their black parasols in an empty open area - and the henchman is carrying rope and a gasoline can. IT’S WITCH BURNIN TIME

- we know some of the people in attendance based on THIS pic from RM’s insta.

Cordelia, Myrtle, Zoe, Queenie, Coco, 3 henchmen, Michael (based on all of those photos of Cody with Sarah Paulson and that one pic of him bein a cutie on that same set) and also... JOHN HENRY MOORE? a bitch won’t stay bbq in this show this is gonna be w i l d 

11. Myrtle during the dinner scene in shot 8 saying “It’s kill or be killed” dramatic but v accurate which is very on brand for Myrtle

12. Someone sticking the barrel of a gun out a car window and shooting someone wearing a hooded cloak or something similar.

- the person they shot has shorter blonde hair but I really, really don’t think it’s Cordelia - her hair is longer

13. Joan Collins screaming on the floor and boy oh boy is that tacky wallpaper

14. a shot of the silver canister with white powder

15. Ariel looking at... Balwin Pennypacker (I can’t I just can’t) really intensely

16. Baldw - fuck imma just say BD - talking to Ariel. He says “Careful, it’s the deadliest I’ve ever created.” Great so they’re definitely murder bois now

17, 18. two SpOoPy shots of Dinah decked out in African-inspired prints with her hand up on a black background

19. Cordelia talking to Dinah outside (with like FANCY landscaping behind her) - she says “I need your help Dinah”

20. Cordelia and Dinah in a room that I thinkkkk is in Robichaux’s? They’re in the same outfits as the last shot and they seem to be doing some magic shiz

21. Dinah with some dope earrings in the same scene as shot 19 in front of a nice house and she says “I don’t do favors.”

22. A black woman’s hand making a doll with a tiny like rodent? skull for a head with voodoo markings on it

- I’m guessing it’s Dinah and I’m guessing she’s tryna summon Legba

23. PAPA LEGBA SHIT’S GONNA POP OFF

- He says “The Witch Queen? HAHAHAHAHA (echoing lols)”

24. Zoom in on Cordy on the leather couch in the warlock hogwarts’ library looking v serious

25. AMERICAN HORROR STORY APOCALYPSE ALL NEW NEXT WEDNESDAY AT 10PM hunny we been knew

so...

MY PREDICTIONS (i’m such trash)

Things I think are gonna happen: the witches are gonna be blamed for John Henry Moore’s death. 

So in retaliation Ariel and Baldwin Pennybaker (ugh) try and straight up murder all the witches. Idk what happens, looks like they’re pretty successful. BUT WAIT what if Mallory survived or resurrected herself and she brings back Zoe, Queenie, Cordelia, Coco, and Myrtle (and maybe she resurrects everyone else too) or something like that. Commence Operation IMMEDIATE MALE REGRET.

The witches somehow bring back John Henry Moore. Because JHM might be barbeque, but I don’t see that as a problem for Mallory.  and he’s like nope I wasn’t killed by them, I was killed by Kathy Bates. And they burn ol’ Baldy and Ariel for what they did. And maybe this makes JHM the eponymous traitor of the episode for helping the witches. 

And maybe they find Mead and burn her too. Michael couldn’t reveal his connection to her without outing himself as connected to the crime of killing the one guy who wasn’t on Team Michael at the time. So he watches Mead burn and decides welp i better start really doubling down on this ending the world business. Let’s murder people and start a business venture that makes fallout shelters and robots.

ALTERNATIVELY the burning scene is at the beginning and they’re burning three (a number based on the instas taken on set) warlocks. For some reason. Idk. No matter what Cordelia wouldn’t allow the burning of any witches.

But this doesn’t really make sense because JHM is in the burning scene. So?

I’m not sure why or when Cordelia tries to contact Papa Legba.

Maybe Behold and Madison communicate somehow to Cordy what they found out and Cordy goes to the one person she knows who can contact (a) devil. IT’S DINAH Y’ALL. It seems like Dinah does help her but as she said - she doesn’t do favors. So who knows what Cordelia gives up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Maybe instead of just asking Papa Legba about Michael she asks to be made temporarily un-killable - like Marie Laveau bc tbt when she was dismembered but still serving sass before she was BeTRaYeD (i’m bitter she could have just been reassembled like Kyle goddammit.) Because if she’s not dead, she’s still the FUCKING Supreme. 

It’s gonna be an intense episode.

#ahs #american horror story #american horror story apocalypse #cordelia goode #mallory #michael langdon #myrtle snow #john henry moore

[actualbird]

HEY BIRD here’s a stupid question regarding the superhero au that maybe u covered but i read the thing real quick and also didn’t finish it so uhhh would michael’s powers transfer over pictures??? because like... magazines and newspapers fuckin falling over each other tryna get a photo shoot w adonis to get Those Eyes on their front cover because having fucking Hot Boy looking at potential customers getting them to buy their shit this was a stupid thing but it was a burning question

HJKSFJD THIS IS SUCH A CONCEPT 

i doubt michael would say yes to anybody who wants pictures. after the whole Adonis Comes Out On Local News Channel he tends to stay away from media in general lest he do something embarrassing. nigh impossible to get him to stay still for an interview after that, and even harder to get pictures. lotsa faraway pics, definitely. a silhouette on a rooftop. a blur figure in the midst of a fight. stuff like that. 

much to many photographers frustration, it’s very difficult to get a picture of adonis’ eyes because literally the moment you see them, you are momentarily stunned and waiting for an order. (on that note, no his power doesnt translate over pics. it has to be irl eye contact and some form of communication to give orders. michael might eventually manage to give orders without talking, but the eye contact is a must. really easy an obvious weakness for adonis tbh: just dont look him in the eye). im p sure a lot of advertisers would kill to have adonis as an endorser but alas, michael wants to be like 500 feet away from the concept of telling people to buy like, shampoo or something

#superhero au #anon #asks

[fadeoftheinternet]

Fall Out Boy Mania, 1 Listen Review

Guys, I’m not gonna lie, I was a little worried about Fall Out Boy after Champion came out last year. I didn’t think the album was sounding as good as it could be. When they announced it was being pushed back to make a better product, it was as though my heart could beat again. I’ve heard the singles and was a little bummed when the album was only 10 songs. That’s short and to the point without a lot of room for error. So how did they do? 

Below is my Mania 1 listen Review!

Young and Menace. I understand why it’s so divisive in the fanbase, but I freaking LOVE THIS SONG. It’s a jam. Patrick Stump definitely is beginning the album with the same opening pomp as the last two fall out boy offerings. As an opener, it makes total sense. The placement gives you the feeling that this album is going to be a journey. For a song that’s nearly a year old, it sounds fresh. It’s not dated even though it probably should be. The Patrifications during the last minute of the song sound even better with the context that this is a palette cleansing album while also giving you vintage fall out boy. Plus, I love Andy’s drums!

Next up is Champion. Now, those of you who heard my first reaction know that I wasn’t a really big fan of Champion when it first came out. I felt like it was an easy ESPN pick up. I understand it’s place. It sounds natural coming after YAM. It keeps the energy. I still love the champion for the people who don’t believe in champions line. I can’t listen to the song without imagining it being retroactively added to a Rocky montage. Sylvester Stallone, this is the Balboa anthem you’ve been waiting for. For all you gym junkies and those that are just trying to reach 30 steps without breaking into a sweat, Champion is for you

Third song and first non single. Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea. Now that’s a title. I was like, am I missing something? Is this like a Sugar Honey Iced Tea situation? I was like SFRMT doesn’t mean anything. Oh well, lemme listen to the song. WHOA!!! I wasn’t ready for that intro. Holy crap. Early favorite. The vocals sound like Brendon Urie was in the studio and Patrick was trying to show him who’s boss. ARE YOU SMELLIN THE ——. Okay this chorus meant to be screamed by fresh faced teenagers who still believe in emo. “ALL MY CHILDHOOD HEROES HAVE FALLEN OFF OR DIED!” GFD PETE YOU KILLT EM THAT’S A DISS TRACK. This nigga Pat is singing in French. oh shoot. This song feels like, OH SHOOT BREAKDOWN, it feels like what I imagine elevator music on Planet Cybertron sounds like. Man, don’t let Michael Bay hear this song or it’ll be in the next ill fated Transformers movie. Dang, freaking jam.

Hold Me Tight or Don’t. OK. By far my favorite of the music videos released. Oh wait, Wilson is dope AF though. I like the bounce to this album. Initial reactions are I was right about this album sounding like Infinity on High mixed with ABAP. OF YOUUUUUU OF YOUUUUU. Dang, thats a freaking chorus. I imagine white girls everywhere singing to their friends, heads bobbing side to side, “Hold me tight….or don’t.” Yeah this song feels like the one that made the label believe again. BUT WE ALWAYS BELIEVED BECAUSE BELIEVERS NEVER DIE! Dang I took too many hits off this memory is a bar. Pete you haven’t lost your pen game. Nigga out here penning Drake songs nowadays. This song is anthemic. These dudes just know how to craft a sing a long. PATRICK IS THERE NO NOTE OUTSIDE OF YOUR RANGE GFD DUDE. Andy, you are a star with the drums, but let me not sleep on Joe’s guitar work. This song has you singing the chorus before you’re even done with the first listen. Definition of an ear worm. I imagine this is going to be a bonus song on Pixar’s Coco

Halfway through and FOB drops my favorite of the pre album singles. This song makes me feel like I’m driving in Las Vegas with college friends and making memories we’ll look back on. Dang. Windows are definitely down. That bass. Pete’s not just a writer, he’s got the groove on this song. CAUSE YOU’RE THE LAST OF A DYING BREED I WONDER IF YOUR THERAPIST KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. Oh man, is this a love song in the most FOB kind of way? Don’t let anyone tell them they don’t use real instruments anymore. I am a collapsing star with tunnel vision, but only for you. What does that even mean? No one knows what it means but it’s provocative. Patrick, you can’t expect to be singing all of these live right? Like your voice will be shot. That guitar riff has me like, “nananananaaaaa” The bridges on this album have me like, “ooh issa bop.” I can’t even sing a long to fall out boy songs anymore. I just gotta shut up and hear Pat wail.

Wilson. Okay, have ya’ll seen the video? It’s great. such a meme. now honestly, i hate the way that this song begins. I just hate the vocal melody. But after the second talkin about i’m all in. This song was meant to be put in a California Hot Topic, you know the kind where it’s all emo but everyone is West Coast beautiful? That darker color line is going to be some angsty teen’s senior quote. Do people still need to find someone to teach them how to Dougie? Because this song has that level of groove to it. It’s the same type of style as like an America’s Suitehearts, in the sense of a dense chorus with a great rock to it. Man, after this album, i gotta say, it might be time to bust out the black eyeliner again. Man, i gotta find my skiniest jeans and shrink them again. This album, upon the first 6 songs, is better than ABAP. Wow. HITS. And then the ending is gorgeous

Church. TAKE ME TO CHURCH MAKE ME CATCH THAT HOLY GHOST. They got the organs. Ooh is this a love song? WHOA OKAY PAT. Okay, this song is big but probably my least favorite of the ones so far, however that may be due to the familiarity i have with the previous 6. Just not a lot of lyrical change. But this is Patrick pushing his voice to it’s limits. Okay the second half isbetter OH MY FREAKING GOSH THE INSTURMENTS JUST WENT OUT AND PATRICK SNAPPED AND SINGLE HANDEDLY SAVED THIS SONG I WILL COME BACK TO THIS SONG WOW. PATRIFICATION CONFIRMED THE FALL OUT BOY MACHINE AIN’T BROKE IF YOU WERE CHURCH I’D GET ON MY KNEES CONFIRMED

Heaven’s Gate? Hmm….they must have ran into some of them LDS missionaries. Ooh we got ourselves a what a catch slow jams patrick soul song. have ya’ll seen the meme of the woman jammin? imagine Leslie Knope jamming at a black church. That describes how i feel about this song. This song could have been on the end of a SUPER strong episode of One Tree Hill. Like it’s a coda where a bunch of stuff happens. I like the guitar pan to the right ear. It’s good. I’m not really sure what pat is singing, but I am enjoying it. Patrick sings like a baptist confirmed. PATRICK WHAT DO YOU NEED LET ME GIVE YOU THE BOOST. Oh man, is this a choir coming??? Oh yes, ya’ll are going to be listening to Heaven’s Gate for a while. This is the one that is gonna get you through hard days in the future. This is a song to save someone’s life.

Sunshine Riptide (feat. Burna Boy). Rap feature? Maybe? Lol the opening line made me laugh. Nigga hit a missy elliot. you’ll get it. There’s a lot of things going on auditory wise. Okay, this song was made during the same time as Hold Me Tight or Don’t. Actually it also gives me the same vibes as Champion too? Whoa, it’s a rasta feature. Oh man, YA’LL NEED TO GET CHANCE THE RAPPER ON THE REMIX GOOD GOD THAT FEATURE JUST PUT ME IN THAT MOOD I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THAT OH SHOOT, THESE NIGGAS TRY BE FALL OUT THE BOYS. I’m a fan of this one. Ya’ll tryna get a nigga to find his XD emoticons and band tees for the last warped tour. Too bad all the singles have been released because this song feels like it’s begging to be put on a CW show like 90210 or Arrow trailer. HIT.

Bishops Knife Trick. Okay Fetzer, what you got for us? It’s the final song and I feel like I’ve been on a nonstop ride the whole time. Soulful pat? Wasn’t ready for it. It’s also the longest song on the album, clocking in at 4:23. This song sounds like, I can’t believe I’m gonna say what i’m gonna say, it sounds like the album that would have been made in between IOH and SRAR if the others didn’t exist. It’s like both. You won’t get it until you hear it. This is a thoughtful song. I need to listen to the album again with the lyrics so i can appreciate this song more. Patrick’s voice is an instrument. He’s not a singer in the conventional sense. Sometimes his words don’t sound like words. Dang, don’t let this album end. Don’t let it end. Don’t let it end. The last song flows into Young and Menace. Wow, ya’ll did you fast. Fall out boy, is the knife trick ya’ll revitalizing your sound and your fanbase? Because you most certainly have.

8/10 album. Church was the weakest song on the album, Heaven’s gate was the most meaningful and arguably the strongest

#fall out boy #mania #album review #m a n i a #FOB #believers never die #young and menace #champion #stay frosty royal milk tea #hold me tight or don't #the last of the real ones #wilson #expensive mistakes #church #heaven's gate #sunshine riptide #bishops knife trick

[ts-indonesia]

Episode 8: “the proof is in the parchments” - Olivia

After Lorelei was voted out, there was an immediate witch hunt- who voted Lorelei and who voted Matt? Owen/Stoner and Anabel/Trent both accused each other, but aided by Olivia’s parchment comparison theory, Stoner & Owen were exposed.

In a shooty shooty gun challenge, Olivia won having not received a single shot all challenge, while Owen/Anabel publicly had a disagreement that they worked out quite nicely in the tribe chat during the challenge.

In the build up to tribal, Owen quickly emerged as a potential vote for being as clearly big brained as he is, with Stoner thrown out as the misdirect vote, which Owen got on board with, in an attempt to save himself.

At tribal, Owen tragically decided to hold onto his idol and was sent out holding onto it, leaving Chris,Chris & Leigh squarely in the minority, and a king joining the two legendary previous jurors.

OLIVIA

I’m assuming anabel played her idol because the newbies had a little chit chat and concluded that because of jess’s rumor all the vets would be voting against her so she played it and they dumped their votes on Matt, completely going against NuCahaya. I assume they thought we were lying when we said we’re voting Lorelei LMAO but jokes on them. We WERE lying but not about that hehe. So now they’re gonna feel bad because we were honest. Which is funny because like what a way to psyche someone out- tell them the real vote lmao. So all I know is that a newbie ain’t winning this challenge

OWEN

THAT WAS SO BAD THAT WAS SOOOOO BAD OMFG KJASDFHKSJD FUCK TRENT AND ANABEL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART ESPECIALLY FUCKING TRENT WHY WOULD HE DO THAT TO ME???? LITERALLY WHY??? I WANT HIS ASS OUT OF THIS GAME RN THERE'S NO WAY HE GETS ALL THE FUCKING POWER AND THE SWING VOTE LITERALLY FUCK MEEEEE!!!! straight men deserve to burn in this fucking game and i'm gonna make it happen i got my idol and my thots to back me up so FUCK ALL THIIIIS literally nobody is saying anything to me now it's so freaking awkward i feel like a dead body nnnn olivia and jess like are acting like that didnt just happen and I bet trent ratted me the fuck out on the off chance they think i voted with them happy halloween

ok on second though maybe trent isnt so bad because he just apologized and told me it was last minute. do i believe him??? a little bit because im a whore for a good straight man but also like...he's still sketchy lmao maybe im bein dumb

OLIVIA

Chris O, Trent, and now stoner... another one bites the dust DA DA DUN DUN DUN

MICHAEL

https://youtu.be/EjX8G1aj8M8 (for before Merge TC)

OLIVIA (these are six confessionals in a row)

I WON IMMUNITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I had a feeling from the jump I’d win idk like I just couldn’t picture anyone shooting me and no one did? Now if that’s good or bad for next round we’ll see 😂

So this morning I could see how it was gonna play out and knew it would come down to Jess or I and I knew it would be Matt or Leigh, Matt I knew would shoot jess and not me and so I spent this morning talking Leigh up (plus she’s cool to talk to so I was just enjoying talking to her) and whaddaya know, it came down to Leigh and she shot jess not me! Also a factor was Jess won last time so I’m sure they didn’t want her to win again but imma just pretend it was all my social skills 😂 So stoner is saying he never threw matt’s name around and Owen is mad at anabel for spreading rumors apparently. So they’re def trying to make it seem like they voted Lorelei and Trent and anabel are lying and Trent and anabel are tryna make it seem like stoner and Owen are lying. Maybe my new buddy Leigh can help me figure out what really happened

I am worried because now there’s like fighting between anabel and Owen apparently. I fear this is the round I’ll have to turn on one of my alliances. Unless we miraculously get like Chris o out I just don’t see how it can happen where I don’t turn on one of them

Leigh, absolute queen of strategy, refuses to call anyone to bond and when she comes to me asking to be saved this round and I asked her for some info, quid pro quo, she refused to give anything away! Super smart babe, super smart

Dear anabel, STOP SAYING IM POPULAR AND PEOPLE LIKE ME OR I WILL GET YOU OUT. AINT NOBODY SUPPOSED TO CATCH ONTO THAT! Thank you kindly, Olivia

SO TRENT’S THROWIN AROUND MY MOTHERFUCKIN NAME HUH? WELL FUUUUUCK YOU BUDDY

Me Owen and Matt: in a secret alliance Trent: there’s no way Matt and Owen would EVER work together Me: SWEATING

JESS

So I just took a melatonin pill so it's time for another late night rant. So to start off.. I'm really regretting the whole "I DON'T WANT IMMUNITY" thought I had earlier today. These will be my famous last words if I go tomorrow so that blows. I think for the FIRST time in this game I'm actually really nervous for a vote. This vote is GOING TO BE HUGE. I honestly think this vote is going to be the deciding factor in what direction this game is going to go....A HUGE player like Stoner or Owen will go making the path to the end a little more clearer for people OR I GO. I see no in-between here. Here is a little bit of background........ After the vote Chris O approached me begging to give him at the very best 7th. The way he broke down the alliances was extremely accurate and it really spooked me. However, I think he is smart enough to want to put a dent in it. Based on my conversations with everyone else..... I have guess I have the worst connection with him and Leigh. So by default that would leave me as a big juicy option for them to want to take out. I've tried SO HARD to try and connect with Leigh. I just feel like she's incredibly smart and knows how to redirect a conversation into a place which won't incriminate her. She constantly does this with me but I also can't blame her.. We haven't found ourselves on the same side and we haven't been able to build trust in past votes. It just blows because I honestly thought she was going to be someone I would have so much in common with so... I'm majorly disappointed. I won't burn the bridge JUST YET but god damn. I'm getting to my point.. I swear.. This leaves the whole "GET OUT OWEN PLAN". I'm all for it. I'm just scared of snitches, advantages, and idols. The snitches part is simple. If someone leaks the plan then I can see Stoner and Owen realizing the vets is over and taking a shot at a vet. Seeing as they'd want to appeal to their buddies Leigh and Chris O.... that would be me. I'm going to try and talk more with Stoner and Owen and make them feel REALLY comfortable but... rip. Then there's idols and advantages. Can't do anything about fucking that. Can I? I don't have any because I have no luck and the hosts hate me. I doubt anyone would play an idol on me so there's that............ I'm just incredibly paranoid right now. I can accept that. I should have the votes to AT LEAST tie and hopefully to sink this... BUT idols and advantages might be the end of me. I guess my goal for tomorrow is to try and reach out to as many people as possible. Make myself visible, make myself a part of a POSITIVE dialog, and make sure bitches know I'm on their sides enough to NOT want to take me out. Hopefully people realize I'M NOT A BIG MOVE. Sure I have connections but I really haven't done much in this game? There's way bigger fish to fry and I want to keep it this way. I mean sure.. I've kept Trent/Anabel safe and may have been a MAJOR reason why Lorelei went? BUT nothing WORTHY of getting a shot taken at me RIGHT NOW. 10th won't look good on me. My lucky number is 9. I just don't want to be a casualty of a war that isn't mine.

TRENT

This past round was unnecessarily messy. For about 47.99 hours everybody was completely silent about the vote. And at the literal last second, people started to scramble. Half (Chris O, Leigh, Lorelei, Owen, Stoner) wanted Matt out, then the other half (Jess, Olivia, Matt, Michael) wanted lorelei out. Which left me and anabel to have to make a choice. Our newbie alliance or our Nuchaya alliance. Now also add a little extra drama, Anabel with ahead and told Chris O that she wanted stoner out, and Chris O immediately told Owen who immediately told Stoner. I finally convinced Anabel to drop the stoner idea. We decided to vote lorelei out with our Nuchaya tribe. BUT i told Owen i was voting Matt. When the votes were read, both sides except myself were shocked. Owen and his side thought for sure that Matt was gone, and Nuchaya thought for sure it would be a wider margin because Stoner and Owen agreed to vote with the returnees. So then scrambling happened. I had to tell Owen that I was lied to and I thought he knew the vote and that I was told majority would be on Lorelei. I then told Leigh I was completely played and lied to and I felt so horrible. I THINK both people believe me because both keep talking about the future vote with me. So either they are now lying to my face because they caught on, or they truly believe me . I actually think it's the second one, because Leigh right this second is trying to convince me to vote with her, Stoner, Owen, Chris O. Now for tonight's vote. I'm about 80% sure Stoner or Owen have an idol.  and we (NuChaya) want one of them out before they slip through the cracks and make it to the end. So i came up with the plan that we use the returnees connection with matt, and my connection with leigh and leak that they want stoner out, knowing full and well leigh will tell Chris O and Chris will tell everyone else out. NuChaya then votes owen. Our plan is that they use and idol to try to save Stoner but in fact just waste it and we get owen out. I'm using Matt as a shield though and going to be telling everyone that he's the one who said Stoners name. So i need to have a conversation with him and make sure he says that.  This is an incredibly risk move because if anyone on Nuchaya leaks the real plan, then I will be going home tonight.

STONER

https://youtu.be/6zQsyt71aVM

JESS

So my plan for this vote is a rather.... unique one? Actually it isn't. But...... I'm going to try and act paranoid enough to where people might think i'll use an idol on myself OR enough so people want to see if I'll be a crackhead and flip. This could backfire against me. People might think "Let's get rid of the paranoid bitch" but... I can't just sit here and die.

OWEN

Hehe I popped off on anabel yesterday then she called and cleared the air..,,, I didn’t rlly believe her tho shen she said she wasn’t coming for me. It’s been hella fucking quiet. I’m kind of mad this comp came at this time because I wanted a shot to win. The vets aren’t confronting me about last vote and I’ve been lying and saying I voted lorelei and that maybe stoner voted matt lol Either way nothing concrete is being said other than stoner tossing out anabel’s name. Idek what to do I feel like honestly I used all my energy last round for literally no result so maybe tonight I play my idol and move on and pick up the pieces next round I don’t want to give up but lookin around rn I can’t be making a big scene by campaisgbing

I have an idol and I ODN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.... I talked to Matt and Olivia for a while and it seemed a good conversation. I'm playing like I'm not sure whether or not Stoner or Anabel voted Matt, but I really don't think these people will believe that I voted Lorelei, especially after Michael and I took each other out in the challenge... But like, here's the thing. If I play the idol now and cancel votes against me at least I guarantee myself another round to make something happen + win immunity. And I think since this comp was basically whoever is in the majority wins, and the first one was fl*g m*king, the next one can be something I potentially pop tf off at... But if I do idol this round and don't need it, I don't think I'll make it much further in the game without that idol :((((( ppl are gonna be like wtf why'd u play that... so idk. It's like, am I playing for ninth or playing for first? And right now I can't tell. I put myself in a good position premerge and a bad one this round. Unless Jess/Olivia/Matt really believe me and not Anabel/Trent.... god. I don't know what I should do. Part of me says use it and give yourself a chance to keep playing. Part of me says gamble, save it, and if I survive I have a chance of surviving longer.

OLIVIA

Owen, Matt, and I had a call in our alliance chat today and it was so sad bc it was so comfortable and like fun and it’s sad knowing he’s just playing us and he voted Matt last time and he’s just playing us again this time. Hopefully Owen goes bye bye this time and Matt and I can form an even stronger bond.

OWEN

Continuing to be the messiest bitch in the game. Fucking shook rn. I voted for Stoner which will probably bite me later but right now its what I have to do to build trust with a majority again. Maybe he won’t even leave and I will. I don’t k ow. I really feel like if I play this idol at least it’s a guarantee I’m here but I don’t want to make people think I don’t trust them. I don’t want to seem like an idiot. God idk what to do I have fifteen minutes to play this idol or not :))))))$ who knows what could happen!!! I’m having like my third meltdown of the game

CHRIS O

if they let me stay they’ll regret it I’m gonna win every non-social non-creative challenge WATCH THIS SPACE

OWEN

Saving my idol. Worst that happens is I get to reunite with queen Lorelei and I get drunk either way xoxoxo. See y’all on the flip side.

#whenyourfiresout

[jessicakehoe]

Read Chapter 1 of Ian Williams’s Exclusive Short Story “I Want It All. I Want It Now.”

We wanted our Summer issue to be special, as it’s on newsstands for three months. What we came up with is two pieces of culture in one: There’s a short story, a dark take on contemporary romance written by Canadian poet and novelist Ian Williams, and then there’s the regular Summer issue, featuring Kacey Musgraves on the faux cover. Below you’ll find the first chapter of the fictional story, “I Want It All. I Want It Now.” If you pick up our Summer issue, on newsstands May 26, you’ll find it intertwined with stories on travel, trends and all the other content you’ve come to expect from FASHION.

–Noreen Flanagan, Editor-in-Chief

PHOTOGRAPHY BY TRUNK ARCHIVE

Vancouver

Another woman

I looked at my phone for—no joke—15 seconds to respond to a notification. (My father. Could I work that afternoon?) And when I looked up, my boyfriend was checking out a blond in the checkout line ahead of us. He was trying to be discreet, absent-mindedly picking the inside corner of his nose and nibbling both of his lips, willing the woman to turn around so he could see her face.

I tapped my phone against the magazine rack and waited. I picked up a pack of Trident, glanced at the nutritional label, put it back. Unbelievable. Hudson was grinding up on her in his fantasy. From the back, the woman was either Dolly Parton or Nicki Minaj. Blond. She wore high-waisted mom jeans, a white crop top, hoop earrings the size of her bracelets and probably too much makeup. She was probably Botoxed between the brows, probably had too much filler in her lips and probably her face was coated in downy fuzz.

So you got a contract for a shoot in—Whistler? Hudson came out of his trance.

Mexico, I said.

Mexico. Even better, he said. You can swing up to L.A. and meet me.

I’ll be working.

He mouthed “working” and made air quotes.

You’ll be “networking,” I said. Same finger quotes. You swing down and meet me. I’m always the one following you around.

I’ll see. His eyes shifted to Dolly Minaj tapping her debit card.

Do you know her or something?

My mom had this poster tacked up in her workspace at Citytv. She was one of the first female producers there. Now my dad keeps it in the waiting room.

Yorkie

I lifted the dog from the examination table into a plastic bag. It was an old honey-coloured Yorkie with long bangs—a faded beauty queen. I took it down to the freezer.

We had one more procedure for the day; then my father would get in his car and drive to Whistler. He had a condo there and an Australian girlfriend who thought I should be teaching public school and nursing a baby at 25. Neither my father nor the girlfriend understood terms like contract labour, freelance, precariat.

I made room in the freezer for the Yorkie. As a child, I remember my father teaching me the difference between a carcass and a corpse. To me, it was all death, a staple black dress. But to him, death was more elaborate, like a damask pattern. The worst part of death was not knowing you were dead, he thought. Not pain, not leaving people behind, but the blindness of the dead regarding their condition. I closed the freezer door and returned upstairs.

Up next, we had a Pomeranian with an intestinal blockage. I held the dog’s head; my father injected it and cut its stomach open. Then we took turns feeling along the intestines for the obstruction. It was a good note to end the day on.

Sometimes he injected them and they didn’t wake up.

I learned early on not to be squeamish. My father doesn’t pay me. This is not my life. It’s not even my job.

Dye

How blond we talking? Ella asked.

I was sitting on the lip of her bathtub while she sectioned my hair into six parts. I had bought two boxes from L’Oréal Preference: my regular light brown shade, “Shade 36 Havane,” and my dream shade, “Medium Rose Blonde 823.”

I wanted to be so blond that I’d turn the festival into a testostefest of bug-eyed guys tryna get with me. Hudson would block hotties with his shoulder and say, You got a problem, bro? They’d scuffle. Maybe rip their white tees. Blood. Yeah, a bloody nose or two. I’d drag Hudson off the guy, then clutch his bicep as we walked away. From the back, my blond hair would be dishevelled but fabulous.

You gotta work on your feminism, girl. Ella put on gloves. What’s it gonna be?

You don’t think it’ll look like a wig on me? With my eyebrows and everything? I’ve got all these gigs late in the summer. I can’t show up looking like a bleached fern.

I like you dark. Ella shrugged.

But—

Odile, make a decision!

I considered the models on both boxes. The blond was radiant, but the brunette was sultry. In the end, I slapped the light brown box into her hand. Safe.

Ella didn’t look surprised. I almost changed my mind, but she ripped open the box and I knew I couldn’t return it. I leaned forward, partly so she could start with the roots at the back, partly to hide my face.

Ella and I were a year into an M.B.A. program, half online, half in the classroom. On the first day of Risk Management, I introduced myself as Odile, a model. The female professor said, There’s math in this course. The male students looked up from their phones and calculated their chances. All the female students dismissed me as a ditz, except for Ella. On break, she characterized the professor as the kind of white feminist who is a puppet of patriarchal oppression in all its forms, including capitalism. Ella had a background in social justice and intersectional politics.

You do realize you’re basically a white feminist, I said. She stroked her hair hand over hand, like a Kardashian.

I totally realize my complicity in the problem, she said, full of vocal fry. Then, seriously, she added: I’m in this M.B.A. to grow a dick and then cut it off. I should have introduced myself as Ella, I used to be a stripper.

Ella applied dye to the middle section of my hair, then to the front.

I told her that I caught Hudson looking at a woman in a grocery store.

She said, The same way you got him is the same way you’re gonna lose him.

I did not break them up.

You kinda did, she said. Karma’s not just the name of an escort.

I met Hudson in Risk Management. He told me later that his philosophy was always to approach the hottest girl in a room first. Go big. And there was no question who was the hottest in that room of cuttlefish. His words. He was with another woman at the time. But he ended that relationship (like a month after we hooked up, Ella would add here), and we’ve been together for seven months. We went public. Like Ella, he was only getting an M.B.A. as part of a master plan; his was for him and his band to be a brand. He was in the program to talk the talk, to learn the reptilian language he could use in L.A. to get his band signed. His ultimate non-sexual fantasy involved rolling across America in a tour bus and calling me from pay phones in dusty rectangular states. Some women like men with plans. I like men with dreams. Or fantasies. Even better if they included me.

Ella removed her gloves.

While we were waiting for the colour to set, I flicked my hand through her closet for something to borrow. Ella was taller than me so I couldn’t wear her pants, but everything else was fair game. I’d call my style “bohemian”—mismatched layers and oversized accessories—like a human gallery wall. Actually, I passed most of the spring semester layering Ella’s clothes on mine or Hudson’s. Sometimes his clothes ended up in her closet. Sometimes her clothes ended up in his. She slept in my bed some nights. I slept in hers other nights—maybe tonight.

Photography via Trunk Archive

Flight Centre

When I saw my hair, I reacted like women in makeover reveals. I wasn’t blond, but I was my best self. My mother used to watch Oprah. Call me crazy, but a good dye job always makes my boobs look bigger. I had to fan my eyes to keep back the tears. Ella tried to get me to spend the night, but I messaged Hudson.

Texts after midnight always got an enthusiastic reception.

Hudson met me on the street as I was parallel parking. Even though he was a few feet away, I could feel him all over me like a cloud of blackflies.

He fluffed my hair with both of his hands and pressed me against the side of the car. A lump in his sweatpants. I was wearing Ella’s sequined shift dress; slipping off my shoulders, it was like wearing moonlight on a lake. Hudson kissed my neck, kisses like bubbles everywhere. I had stepped into a glass of Champagne. I turned my head into the glare of the Flight Centre’s lights.

He remembered his trips based on what he ate. I remembered mine by what I bought: a Michael Kors bag in L.A., a Dior macramé dress in Paris, Gucci slippers in Ireland, a Van Cleef & Arpels pendant in Chile.

Then I went inside and surfed him like in the Beyoncé song.

Insomnia

I fell asleep while Hudson was making himself an avocado sandwich. I woke up a few hours later, and he was fingerpicking his electric Gibson. The next time I woke up, he was mixing music with his laptop on top of his keyboard. Then he was flipping through the FASHION magazines I had left on his amp, maybe reading the marginalia I wrote while I was reading them.

It’s like he wanted to sleep but couldn’t. I got up and went to him on the couch.

What’s bothering you? I asked.

He shook his head. He was bouncing his leg.

Photography by Robert Reader

I was used to his insomnia, but tonight his energy was more skittish. Maybe he’d had a late cappuccino. I put my hand down his pants to tire him out. He put his nose in my hair. When he tensed and exhaled, I lay down on top of him so he couldn’t move, so our heartbeats and breathing would synchronize and he’d fall asleep. (He believed in that cosmic energy stuff.)

But when I peeked, I saw that his headphones were on and his eyes were open.

At dawn, he walked me to my car.

What you got going on today? I asked.

He shrugged. I just need to get some sleep.

I nodded. I’ll leave you to that then.

I bought an Americano at the place nearby, but when I got back to my car, I saw him unlocking his bicycle.

He swooped a leg over the frame and pedalled hard the other way.

Odile’s story isn’t over yet. Where was Hudson headed and will his relationship with Odile survive mounting tensions when things don’t go as planned during a weekend getaway? See how it all pans out in Chapter Two and follow @the.real.odile on Instagram for real-time updates.

The post Read Chapter 1 of Ian Williams’s Exclusive Short Story “I Want It All. I Want It Now.” appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

Read Chapter 1 of Ian Williams’s Exclusive Short Story “I Want It All. I Want It Now.” published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

[actualbird]

Amazing Race AU: Jet and Michael are the team that (unless they are in a massive rush) will stop and take selfies with fans and acknowledge fan blogs. They see a fan on the street who's staring longingly? "Hey! Want a photo?" They see a funny post online? They bring it up on camera. Read an amazing fanfiction? Quote it. Michael thinks it's halarious that they have a following and M I L K S I T.

kfhkdsfjdfkjhf okay so @ fake-name, that scenario is unlikely in their original season because by the time they have a fanbase, all shooting and travelling and editing is done. so when the fanbase blows up, michael and jeremy are already chilling in their shared apartment happily watching people lose their collective shit over all the things that went down. by this point, they are already dating and they watch the episodes together while cuddling on the couch  to see how the story looked from the outside, what went on with the other teams when they weren’t paying attention, and to laugh hysterically at literally every scene they’re in.

(”I can’t believe this,” Michael wheezes, wiping a tear from his eye with the hand not holding Jeremy’s. On screen, Michael and Jeremy are hugging, and Jeremy finds it pretty weird to watch himself on television. It’s disorienting, seeing his experiences from another perspective. From a completely different perspective that manages to showcase just how goddamn oblivious they both were.“This is just the first episode and you literally solemnly said ‘you’re the most important thing in my life’. To me! To my face! Because I figured out a riddle!”

“I said it because it was true, shut up,” Jeremy groans good naturedly as Michael’s chest just keeps shaking from laughter under his head. He props himself up on his elbows to look at Michael. “It’s not like you have any room to talk, Mr. You Bring Light Into My Life, Jeremy Heere, Thank You,” Jeremy says it over-the-top sweet, nuzzling back into Michael’s chest. Michael flicks him on the nose. “Hey!”

“I said that when we were in Barcelona, okay. So first off, I was prompted by the ambiance. It’s Barcelona. Second, that was way farther into the competition. This is the first episode,” Michael says, threading his hand into Jeremy’s hair. “Sooooo, I win.”

“Win what?” Jeremy laughs. The TV is playing a bit where Chloe and Brooke are running across the streets. Brooke keeps whispering ‘cardio, cardio, cardio’ to herself.

“I have no idea.” Michael hums. Then he says, “Scratch that. We both won, really, yeah?”

Jeremy knows he’s not talking about the cash prize, but he nods, understanding all the same, Michael’s heartbeat a steady sound by his ear. “Yeah. Yeah we did.”)

SO OF COURSE they know about the fans and the fanbase and the shipping. michael thinks it’s the best thing ever while jeremy is a little bit more embarrassed about it (because jesus, they really were fucking oblivious). of course, for studio contract reasons, michael and jeremy cannot divulge any spoilers and are encouraged not to interact with the fans too much for various reasons: 1) fans are smart and might just deduce who wins and who gets eliminated, which is a big no-no for an elimination based show like the amazing race and 2) “Okay, Michael. Jeremy. You can’t tell anybody you’re dating now. This isn’t because we don’t approve of your relationship, but because if fans know you’re an item, they might stop watching the pine fest. Understood?”

it’s pretty understood. plus, they signed the contract. but michael actually reads the thing and learns that they’re not allowed to not interact with fans. they just cant say anything about the season + their relationship. everything else is fair game.

michael binge likes tweets about them. like. almost every one. it’s a joke in the fanbase that if you mention michael or jeremy even tangentially michael will find it and like it. it’s so easy to summon to him, but he says NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. when the fans realize the goddamn pine fest of the century, theyre basically banging down michael’s social media sites with pots and pans “GIVE US ANSWERS!!” to which he just replies with :)c each and every time. all his tweets have nothing to do with the show and are mostly about his music or a picture of a dog he saw that day. he tweets nothing new about jeremy because that would make the internet speculate and Explode, but if u go back on his twitter or insta it’s just all them (plus more dogs). what im tryna say is that michael’s a huge troll and while he riles up the fans, they also dont get much stuff to guess on so they continue watching the show. (somewhere out there, a bunch of amazing race execs just breathe a sigh of relief “oh, thank god”)

ANYWAY I VEERED WAY OFF COURSE, but if that scenario were to happen, it would be because the second scenario of anon happened. they totally agree to it but i think that by that point, they’re not doing it for the money and aren’t very competitive. the showrunners don’t mind because just their presence is enough to up the hype for the season even if michael and jeremy just turn it into a glorified honeymoon with challenges and being really really nice to fans. michael is SO UP FOR IT but jeremy is still shy. everybody is charmed either way and they all weep when Team Hus Bands is eliminated once again, (but also maybe a little bit relieved because god their screentime was just. unadulterated love. it’s overwhelming to watch. love is real. love is so real. too real. hey boys can you maybe tone it down just a little bit because this is national television and—-and theyre kissing, okay. okay fine.)

(really, it’s the showrunners’ fault for wanting them back a second time. they should know by now that michael and jeremy together always results in something.)

#asks #i may have rambled #amazing race au #totally-not-using-a-fake-name #hc