#maybe huo daofu is setting up a clinic office and doesn't want to take any risks

[xcziel]

FYI DMBJ fandom:

... just saying

#dmbj #had a thought and was curious so i looked it up #it is indeed possible to write the iron triangle (+ whoever else tagged along) being stranded at ike- i mean yijia #obviously they're not there for furniture but you can't tell me pangzi wouldn't be determined to try the meatballs for himself #or maybe they're setting up an apartment for someone who wants to make *certain* #there's absolutely no ghosts or curses or spirits or whatever attached to their new couch/bed/desk #after one incident too many staying at wushanjou (i.e. in wu xie's vicinity) #maybe huo daofu is setting up a clinic office and doesn't want to take any risks #maybe the tiger trio want a newly bought Definitely Not Haunted In Any Way couch or entertainment center #imagine wang can or someone wandering along sulkily calculating the bullet stopping power of various tables etc #and loudly explaining how to turn every knickknack into a deadly weapon or projectile #pangzi and wu xie ordering 2/3 of the restaurant menu and then critiquing it at top volume #maybe at the end of the trip the ikea staff are SO ready to see the back of them #only there's a sudden freak snowstorm #and it turns out that a lot of the furnitire was *manufactured* in china - in a haunted factory #so somehow wu xie & co.'s expertise ends up being necessary after everyone tries bedding down for the night #only for the weird shadows sudden chills cold spots to actually be evidence of like idk a cursed fjädermoln pillow #kan jian was just hugging laying his head on that you guys! it's was so cute! and huggably soft! but it tried to kill him! #stop laughing it's not funny! #lol the betrayal #everyone ends up sleeping in a giant puppy pile of cushions and bedding and in the morning #the ikea staff send them off with like all the meatballs they can carry #(partly bc pangzi is awake and hungry after all the nighttime fuss and ready to head to the restaurant for breakfast) #i just think the idea of xiaoge trying to find shadows to skulk in as he's trailing behind wu xie through the store is hilarious #also maybe he finds a barndröm to cuddle *and* store an ändlig set in