#maybe i feel too much empathy-

[outxfspaced]

Trent Crimm is the most relatable, projectionable, ‘he’s mine’ character I’ve come across in ages. I have so many thoughts. So many emotions. I’m mystified by the attractiveness of this blorbo. I attached myself like a limpet to him upon discovering the tiniest amount of info about him and I’ve been spiralling ever since. It’s wild.

Trent Crimm fans, talk to me. Is there a group chat? A discord? I’d love to find some Trent-related mutuals

#trent crimm #ted lasso #god I rarely ever post on here these days I usually just enjoy things and speak in the tags or messages to people #but I NEED to start posting about Trent ahaha #THE blorbo of 2023 and maybe 2024 (!!) for me all of a sudden #I only found out about him in December lol but as I say I’m spiralling #he’s SO #i just FEEL very intensely about him #even if I don’t relate literally I relate a lot emotionally and with empathy if that makes any sense #and I find myself projecting so much onto him too #also the genderrrr #always the gender

[fanvoidkeith]

"high empathy autism" this, "low empathy autism" that. you don't even know how fast my empathy can switch on a dime

(*update to this post before i even post it: the day i wrote this, i forgot to take my anxiety meds. oops. this still applies, though)

#void keith talks #autism stuff #it's like. i care so so so much. and then i don't like an hour later. and then i'm back to caring so so so much and th #i think my empathy runs on a spin cycle #or like. one of those wheel pickers like on wheel of fortune #i get so much secondhand embarrassment from everywhere in my life but sometimes i just couldn't give less of a fuck about shit that happens #i'm getting emotional whiplash. every day #and ofc it depends on how i feel. and how i feel rn is that i don't really care about anyone's problems #unless it's 1) a friend or 2) a fictional character. or 3) an animal #empathy is hard sometimes honestly. kindness too. and sympathy. and compassion #mental health stuff #neurodivergent stuff #huh. maybe my anxiety meds do more than i thought. even though it's a pretty low dose #anxiety stuff

[seariii]

Huh... /pos

#i think that was intp me... because it was very analyzing the situation and giving an answer... #not much through feelings but more about how everything works and how I've seen him act before... #... and then that fact that i got reminded of at the end that helped me close with broche de oro #his reaction through out the conversation seemed uneasy but that last fact seemed to make everything click for him #infp almost poped out when i started talking about our experience... but managed to continue with it as a story and example #still couldn't see their faces for most of that but by his body language and the moments i saw his face it did hit him too #... sigh... well... its on stuff like this that im reminded that intp me does work nicely... and she is very needed... #maybe she isnt as warm as infp me but she cares and is worried too... and to some she still feels warm.... #mom isnt good with words and she is very bad at knowing how to tackle the problems... she is too logical and doesnt have much empathy #intp me seems to still have empathy... she just fails misserably a lot of time... then again the last week was hell JAJAJAJJAJAJA #i was emptionally in shambles and couldnt take no more so i probably just tried to turn that off and went full intp #instead of the healthy balance that is needed... especially when helping people.... in any case we are slowly getting back on track #i am slowly regaining energy now that im back home... #seari talks

[volivolition]

what's the theme you're fucking going for here voliiii!!! what are you fucking getting at!!! what are you trying to say, what's the point??

#still working on this drama chapter in Swept Up. they're. confusing to work with? from an empathy standpoint at least. #skill who is trying to honestly understand the other skills VS skill who is just always lying and putting on an act. #and then theres the whole thing that im not going to spoil yet but the dynamic. fuck man. i dont even know what im trying to say here #lying is bad? no i dont care about that. honest communication is important maybe? i feel like i need a central theme for this. #and i dont want the theme to be ''empathy good'' because low-empathy people are also good and i love them!! and also: #empathy is a flawed character!! i try to portray this. i dont like moralism/centrism which empathy believes in and is the main skill for #empathy you stupid centralist (affectionate) i know this is just because you don't know how to make everyone happy. who can fix this? #you dont think you can fix this! you feel too much debilitating sadness to make meaningful change!! responsibilite to others more capable #still. i do depict empathy as often kind on a small level because i think that's in character. empathy just helps you understand. #i guess this fic is also a ''empathy doesn't mean kindness. kindness is a choice you can make afterwards but empathy just means empathy'' #but that's not a centralizing theme that all the chapters share. its also about vulnerability and the mortifying ordeal of being known #urgh. i'll think about it some more. knowing me its probably another ''love (in all forms) is the meaning to life'' type story lmao <3 #i need to make a skill chart for this harry. all i know is that Volition is his skill signature but Empathy is his highest stat #hyper-empathetic harry with the rsd that comes from adhd!! haha!! suffering. everybody fucking hate you. this is based on me btw lmao #i was working on voli's chapter which has a flashback and child empathy! new to the mindspace looking out through harry's eyes and crying #the world is full of sad people and it's just too much for a lil guy! the backstory i have planned for this like. huh okay. wild. anyway!! #oh shit ive made a fucking breakthrough with the drama chapter. its not a theme but its something i figured out at least. we stay winning!! #chemi chats #task: swept up

[craycraybluejay]

i wna put the razor blade to use again. and i want to have painkillers so i feel less like absolute wet garbage. im so tired. its all too much. i just. want. to feel good. and not think about anything at all really. but isnt that what brought me here in the first place. but its because i failed. i didnt even have the means to be properly braindead happy. what i wouldnt do for a hundred thousand doses of my happiest substance and a very long, dreamless sleep. im so tired. everything hurts. i know i need to snap out of it and keep on keeping on. but how. why even.

#vent #my feelings are too much #loud loud loud #begging me to drop empathy and half the emotional spectrum with it #i cant #i dont trust myself and it only feels sicker in the end #i lost my empathy for a hot minute on a pill and immediately felt a very strong urge to kick a puppy #idk how some ppl do it #i want to smash my head against the wall #over and over just so it might SHUT UP for one fucking second #its so loud #it feels like my insides are itching with weird energy #i want it to stop #how do you make it stop #maybe xanny will help but im running out i should restock asap #dyou guys think itll help #delete later

[bibiana112]

Girl are you okay? Cause you've been looking through the "My lesbian experience with loneliness" tag again

Well the short answer is no :D

#the long answer is I saw one post of someone going 'well now that I'm 28 too maybe I'll try doing the same thing the protag does here'' #and nearly cried because 28 is such a ridiculously long time away except not really except it's SO #fucking long and so close to what I was gaslit into believing I would ever have that I'd be lucky to make it to my thirties for no reason #and I never wanted anything different and just wanted to live and had panic attacks when reading but I'd still believe it was inevitable #and now I am suddenly having to come to terms with so much I want from life that I had resigned myself to never having because I couldn't #but how am I meant to do that? it's just hanging over my head now and it feels so stupid and I feel so out of place everywhere #it feels like I'm too bad at being a person to be loved and too angry to even admit I want to be #and too regretful to seek it because I'm scared of trampling over people's boundaries like people have done to me #and like I did too before I grew up and thought my way through having some empathy #why do only boys show any interest in me.... why is every friend I make entirely outside the range of people who could possibly reciprocate #why is it so easy for me to brush crushes aside aren't people supposed to suffer for this stuff #does that prove it's not a romantic crush and it's just that I want to be held and wanted #it feels so wrong to want this after fighting so much just to have fulfilling platonic relationships what's wrong with me #that I still want something else what more could I want this life is so ideal as far as 12 yo me is concerned #...when did my brain start viewing any and all kinds of want or ambition as doomed efforts for me? #I have such a headache all of a sudden #I think... the way I value self preservation has gotten all the way around into being harmful maybe #at least a little #everyone I know is nowhere near the amount of control freak as I am and they just go do things they want to do #have I seen them hurt over the consequences multiple times yes. but . I'm tired of hurting over absence #''did you know wishing you had more extreme and easily verifiable trauma is in itself proof of having undergone trauma'' well yeah but like #fuck why couldn't I be traumatized by anything else that wasn't literally the profession supposed to help you with all the trauma #delete later #like for real I want to delete it rn but I also don't

[godblooded]

the first thing people always notice about alana is her eyes.

#headcanon. dr. bloom. #headcanon. dr. bloom. a good forensic psychiatrist; maybe the best. #[they’re the frost of water turning to ice before its full freeze in the earliest winter morning. #they’re the color it turns as it thaws slow slow slow and then freezes again. they’re so cold. #but they’re purely near white blue. wolffish and beautiful at once. they can be so cruel. and she can have the kindest eyes you’ve ever #seen. she can make you feel incredibly loved or she can absolutely crumble you with a glance. she KNOWS it too. #all her emotions show through her eyes is also the problem. she lies so well because she forces herself to feel it. so potent. #she can replicate an emotion painfully well for herself. she fucking hates it. it’s so hard and so much to deal with. but without it— #she wouldn’t be her. she’s explained the way her empathy works to a few people and I distinctly remember it was trish who was like #‘Jesus Christ I wouldn’t want that shit’ without even meaning to before going ‘it sounds so overwhelming to deal with’ before Alana broke #down in tears seconds later because she’s not hard and if you think she is you’re buying what she’s selling and you’re being grifted. #Alana bloom is my most dangerous muse and I write kitty ‘nexus of nothingness embodied’ valentine. #but I tend to think: would kitty be tricked into… anything by Alana? oh yeah. like. immeasurable yeah. a yeah the size of Texas. #Alana finds your weakest point because every single diamond has a flaw and she just g e n t l y begins to chip. #she’s good!hannibal. she’s the actual good doctor like. I think Tara Jess and I have unironically convinced the fandom that’s her title. #(lmfao it isn’t it’s lecter’s but book!lecter deserves it. show!lecter was a shit therapist. at least book!lecter was amazing at his job.) #and you know who his protege is? Alana!!!! she’s so deadly I’m in love with her and I’ve loved her for years now. #me: this is the side character I’ve written for more than a decade who causes a chain reblog reaction every time I post that gif set #if you know you know.]

[thenamesblurrito]

Any chance for some protagonists with low empathy, but who aren't evil?

every time i try to do research and figure out what empathy actually is and how it manifests i just start an existential spiral of what is empathy? do i even have empathy? how much of it is nature and how much of it is nurture? how do you quantify that? what does a character with low empathy even look like? or high empathy for that matter? do i not understand because i'm bad at comprehending what i'm reading or do i not understand because i simply don't relate to/have empathy myself??

this is an ongoing existential spiral that started over two years ago btw and i still have no satisfactory answer and could not tell you what makes a believable low empathy character, so i'm, uh. still working on it. HOWEVER one of the most important parts of SNAP to me is that choice is what causes evil. there's plenty of neurodivergent folks here, or other struggling, marginalized, abused people, but it is always, always up to them to choose to "be evil". no antagonists are like that because of some inherent trait, in fact the majority of Bludgeon's character arc is just demonstrating how he has chosen over and over to be the person who hurts other people because that's what he wants, not because he can't feel bad or doesn't understand what he's doing or whatever. with low empathy specifically, when i thought of Overlord and Guiltaur's episode i wanted them to have the equivalent of ASPD, to kind of make a point of two people with the same condition in the same situation who both have to choose how they'll treat others. so i suppose sort of yes to your answer, in that Guiltaur is the "good guy" of that episode and explicitly has low empathy?

uhhhh but less officially, just more kind of, gut feeling i guess, i think Hot Rod, Laserbeak, and Brainstorm probably have low empathy, maybe also Nightracer and Wheelie (who is like 9 so this is partially just a small child thing, but it does stay into adulthood). (Shockwave post-Lenses technically counts as low empathy but this is because of corrupted relic changes/trauma and i don't want to lump that in with everyone else). on the flip side i think Deadlock, Tailgate, and Wreck-gar have very high empathy, and perhaps Red Alert. i don't really have any, i guess "diagnosis" arcs or self-discovery of the mental health/neurodivergent sort in SNAP, since i am juggling so many other things, but there's a lot about the mental processes and situations of many characters that is important and noticeable in the text, even if not explicitly stated. so just because nobody looks at the camera and announces to the audience their precise medical diagnosis for the conditions they have doesn't mean i'm not keeping it in mind while writing them

#like sorry if im overcomplicating it but its not a light thing to look at something that pop culture says 'oh everybody has this' #and then go wait. do i though. #and that isnt even touching the whole demonization of low empathy ppl too like. i feel like im poking around a minefield #figuring out im ace was much simpler tbh i thought attraction was made up for marketing purposes #but this is harder bc its like social interaction and. as a nd person. thats not my strong suit! #anyway i am still nervous about what im doing with overlord and guiltaur but it feels important to me so i want to at least try #and if i fumble. well! oops! sorry! im open to correction. maybe i should just scrap that yknow? idk #just dont touch anything challenging or controversial and i wont risk a hammer coming down on my head

[cominy-kiwami]

im continuously getting really sad remembering when i was reading harrys ledger and one of the dialogue options at one point was "Fucking kill yourself you asshole."

#the normal sentence capitalization and the period at the end does SO much #its not anger its exhaustion. its the desire to scurry back into the dark. #and it was only directed toward himself. #it was a kneejerk reaction to the discovery of the love he used to experience #im like actually forreal scared to interact with the tape of the etenniers song. #and you know what. finding the working class corpse was a real kick in the dick too #the other side of the canal is such a great area in terms of content. its all so thoughtful #i picked the dialogue option for harrys outburst at acete because i thought they were funny but it just made me sad #the way she extends him understanding. #the challenging empathy check where it describes her feeling childlike and useless #maybe im just feeling like an empath tonight but im gonna cry thinking about this game #disco elysium <3 #the sea ice outburst was funny though #before it gave me the option to start crying. im obviously gonna give that to him

[indigodawns]

.

#man. had two therapy appointments today and i feel. just. very bad. not good. #first one is too much to go into but really the take away is don't do drugs kids #especially if you're fucking mentally ill #second one just... got to meet my new therapist. very young woman. very. ohh and aww and she started #with. hey. we're doing cbt :) look at this neat little printout that you can fill in :) #when i tell you i wanted to tear off my own skin #i still do! but being very cool and mature about it and calming myself down by eating and watching seokjin and that did soothe #but this woman right. 'so you think the world is an awful place? is that right? is that one of your core beliefs?' #no!!!!!! yes!!!! but like. i don't think changing my mindset re: the world is my problem??? #is it??? like... the world is awful and unfair yes but i want to React to that in a way that's useful. THAT is what i want to changr #i want to not be too tired or overstimulated or whatever to even have empathy for anyone or anything #or too numb/derealised/depersonalised whatever :'') #and she just... 'why are you sad? when are you sad?' like god fucking hell im fucking depressed okay?? we know this!!! it's fine!!! #a fucking cbt thing im....... #maybe i SHOULD give it a proper go but like. i just want feedback. i want someone to talk to #god fuck im gonna do something calming or whatever #i know i sound arrogant and whatever but man. #edit: did the big girl thing and reached out to my irl friends and sent a long ranting voicenote #and ate something easy #and im feeling a bit more like i can breathe again so <333

[timelesslords]

thinking about how the hunger games were designed to prove that without society, order, government, someone to rule, we devolve into little more than animals, and how the games themselves prove over and over again that this is not true. We see it in every single game we witness.

Katniss placing flowers around Rue's body in the arena. Thresh sparing Katniss because she was kind to Rue, even though he was making it that much harder for himself to win.

Haymitch going back for Maysilee after hearing her scream even though their alliance had been broken. Haymitch holding her as she dies the same way Katniss did Rue.

Coral's "I can't have killed them all for nothing" when she realizes she's not going home. Lamina cutting down Marcus at great personal risk. And, my favorite moment in tbosas, Reaper collecting the bodies of his fellow tributes, his peers, even the ones who tried to kill him, into a pile. Taking the weapons from their hands. Closing their eyes and crossing their arms in the best approximation of a proper burial he can manage, covering them with the Capitol flag as a makeshift shroud.

The Games bring out the worst in people, yes. But despite the extreme circumstances, despite the exterior pressure of the Capitol, despite the fact that it could mean pain and heartbreak and death, it also shows that people have an enormous capacity for goodness. That even in a situation purposefully designed to make empathy impossible, people can't help but have it anyway.

Snow looks at the Games and all he can see is what's inside himself-- this pure animalistic drive to conquer and defeat. He kills and it feels good and he thinks that everyone else must feel that way too. He doesn't realize (maybe can't realize) that he is the exception, not the rule. He cannot see outside himself, outside his own warped perspective, to realize that the fact that people do show humanity in the games proves his entire worldview wrong.

#tbosas #the hunger games #im sure someone has already said this much more eloquently than this #but i cant stop thinking about it #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes #hunger games #tbosas spoilers #thg #catching fire #i could write a thesis on this #suzanne collins the woman you are

[ukyuo]

oh no im seeing bad takes on characters i like oh god take them to the brig

#im refering to twt/reddit screenshots not so much on here #so many posts not understanding cxs character AT ALL it hurts #i hate the way a funny goofy guy shown to have a lot of empathy for others gets turned into a complete idiot or made out to be useless n #weak in fanon interpretation #this is how i felt anout natsume too like seeing comments about his decision not to enslave every spirit he meets ?? why cant we have male #protags that just wanna live a peaceful life.. #or in cxs i guess how dare he let other ppl’s emotions which he is forced to experience in the moment influence his decision making along #with his own trauma from losing his parents at such a young age like idk maybe these characters are given these traits for a reason 🙄 #which is relevant to the story being told did u ever think about that #i know media literacy is only getting worse but dear god #this is just all part of a larger issue where ppl cannot understand why a character in a story would make a bad or diff decision from them #then the show has to hold their hand (netflix atla) n tell them exactly how to feel about what’s happening #i just want ppl to think more often ok

[vaguelydefinedshapes]

the issue with not caring about what people do if it doesnt hurt anyone is that a lot of people act like youre taking some radical position if you challenge the things they say

like no im not trying to pick a fight or be holier than thou i just. literally dont give a shit. youre the one trying to engage me in some weird judgy interaction. why do you care if that cis guy wants SRS or if that person complains about their disability a lot. why do you care if that guy has facial tattoos or a lot of piercings. stop commenting on people's facial features and bodies and clothing choices. how am i the weird one here

#idk maybe ive just spent too much time in queer and neurodivergent and body positive spaces #but i was watching Face Off with my mom and i love her but she was so judgy about this one contestants whose hands didnt work super well #and like if my hands stopped working and hurt a ton while i was doing makeup i would complain too! #i would also keep bringing up that my hands were hurting and it kinda sucked that i was struggling to do shit i knew how to do! #just #idk #i dont think it's radical to have empathy for people and to not immediately judge people for being weird or impaired or unconventional #i think we should abolish all social norms actually #i feel like it's gotta be more work to care so much about shit like that #social norms #neurodivergent #queer #body positive

[barnbridges]

for every single "just a sprinkle of the tism" meme there's a moment of my life where i just sit and stare into the empty and know shit about how to comfort someone and then i lose relationships

#............ #idk maybe i blame the prognostics too much and im just cold #but never at any moment of my life do i feel like i can adequately comfort someone or provide any sense of relief #besides by ranting to them about some fictional character or distracting them #and its not lack of empathy i have empathy i sometimes cry from reading some shit someone's going through #but i just cannot be of any comfort to anyone #it feels so offputting and wrong

[oblitus-vulpes]

uh oh

#i love this fic don't get me wrong #but the dysphoria is wildin #which i mean #is good #my empathy is like dogshit low with other people but through the roof when it comes to characters in media. bc i'm removed from the #situation and can freely protect onto them. especially written works bc the emotions are written out in a way i can understand and feel #wowie wowie wow i haven't felt dysphoric at all in over a year so it feels Weird now #i mean #the closest thing I'll ever be doing to medically transitioning is probably some kind of bc so i stop getting periods. #I've considered a partial or total hysterectomy in the past #but i don't intend on getting it unless I'm in a good place financially. it's not a high priority lolol #unless i can go to my gp and say 'hey i want this i'm aware of the procedure and its risks and side effects' and she takes me seriously. #it's too much work + not worth it lol. #but wowie sometimes i think. i wish i passed. #but i don't want to cut my hair. #... maybe i should look into a short wig. a nice quality one #idk #unfortunately i live in a world where feminine men aren't commonplace #and passing and being. well. me. isn't a thing that can exist

[drchucktingle]

THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION HAVE ISSUED AN APOLOGY AND A RE-INVITATION. HERE IS MY STATEMENT

hello buckaroos. the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION have issued a formal statement and apology which you can read at the attached link.

while i find the language used to discuss what was done a little unsatisfying, i would like to start by saying i appreciate anyone taking steps to prove love is real and make things right. the genuine feeling of ‘realizing you have made a mistake and hurt someone else’ is a terrible one, and i have so much empathy for this group as they reckon with their choices causing harm. i appreciate their apology.

i also think more good than bad has come from this situation. i am so thankful this happened to me (someone with a large social media presence) and not a smaller buckaroo author without the means to stand up for themselves. i think the next time someone comes to the TXLA with an accommodation need, they will hopefully be taken more seriously

lets trot down to business about specifics now. the TXLA has re-invited chuck to the original panel and even offered to take a moment at the top of the panel to talk about what happened. this is very kind of them and i will say THANK YOU. 

unfortunately i will also have to decline.

the fact that it took this much effort, social media backlash, and discussion to let me simply EXIST PHYSICALLY in a way that is authentic to myself is not a good sign. if this organization immediately questions an authors chosen presentation in this manner, i cannot imagine what my other accommodations would be met with.

sometimes i am at an event and i very quickly need extra space to breathe. sometimes i am at an event and i need special guides to help me along from place to place. these are not ‘big asks’ and every other conference has gladly provided them, but if the TXLA had this kind of initial reaction to my physical appearance, i cannot imagine them readily helping with my other needs without ‘proof’.

this is clearly not a safe place to trot for those who require additional accommodations. regardless of any apology, their ACTIONS have shown that people who appear unusual or unique are not welcome at this event on a subconscious level. i believe the TXLA have some serious inner work to do beyond this apology, and i believe this inner work will involve actions more than words.

but even more importantly i would like to make this very important point: IT DOES NOT MATTER IF MY MASK IS A DISABILITY AID OR NOT. i appreciate the way this discussion has allowed us to trot out some deep talks on autism and proved love in this way, but i think there is a much more important point at hand.

regardless of WHAT someone looks like, it is not the job of an event or conference to pick apart WHY. physical presentation can be a part of someones neurodivergence, or gender, or sexuality, but i can also just exist as a nebulous undefined part of their inner self. it can be a piece they are not ready to openly discuss yet. the guests at TXLA are authors (aka ARTISTS) and the idea that a conference dedicated to an ART is going to deny people with unique and unusual presentations for ANY reason is absurd. since when are we applying a ‘dress code’ to our artists?

without knowing it, i personally believe there is an element of the ‘good queer, bad queer’ phenomenon going on here. there is a push to say ‘LOOK we accept these marginalized groups and cultures’ but behind the scenes that means ‘we accept these marginalized groups and cultures who are quiet and speak in turn and wear the metaphorical suit and tie’. it is easy to show diversity when you only take on the voices that arent too ‘strange’.

to prove my point i ask you this: do you think orville peck would have FOR ONE SECOND been asked to perform at the texas library association event without his mask?

so with that i say ‘very sincerely, thank you, but i will have to decline the re-invitation. maybe next year’

#love is real #txla #chuck tingle #buckaroo lifestyle