#maybe i have a thing for milfs????

[lesbianjodie]

Anyway hallucinating an entire arc where Conan and Ran have to stay with Eri for a while and Eri just clocks Shinichi so fast. Either that or he needs help trying to convince her that he is not, in fact, Shinichi SOMEHOW but anyway Eri would be so aware of Conan's fucked up little errands and machinations I bet she would figure out he was the sleeping Kogoro all along if it lasted long enough. And then he would have to explain. I am going insane about it also.

#IMAGINE THOUGH #imagine it shinichi was forced to tell eri everything and they formed that sort of quiet mutual understanding to keep it all a secret #in order to protect ran #imagine if that was how eri got pulled into the grander scheme of things #imagine if she started looking out for the bo as well unconsciously. and just popped up in their radar or something #bonus points if it's kir or vermouth for the gays like #w kir we can have her just drop by or somehow intervene via fbi to keep her from bringing more attention onto herself #and w vermouth we can have her just keeping an eye on her. maybe they'll kiss #we all know vermouth likes kissing milfs on the lips at this point anyway #ALSO eri's disappointment when she sees that kogoro was in fact the one solving all those crimes. her world in shambles #like she's clearly been hanging onto that newfound apparent genius of his husband's to sort of convince herself that he can change #or something #anyway her world would kinda get knocked off its axis a little innit #maybe she would spiral a little about it even 😳 #and what if vermouth ended up covering for eri 😳 for ran #but I digress #my point is I want to kiss eri on the lips #dcmk #detective conan #edogawa conan #kudou shinichi #kisaki eri #mouri ran #mouri kogoro #I was gonna say I am no longer normal about eri but the truth is I never was

[beware-of-you-98]

reasons to watch criminal minds [and/or evolution]

• cool

• family fluff

• interesting plotlines

• reboot for nostalgia

• women pretty

#criminal minds evolution #criminal minds #i will not be taking criticism #but that’s it #that’s the only reason #women r pretty #and i’m just a lil lesbian #and okay maybe nostalgia #but for strictly lesbian reasons #i’m gonna actually weep if they make emily and the reject pringles can man a thing #like weep in the bad way #the way i only be watching because ✨women✨ #those are my emotional support fictional milfs officer i have an emotional dependency on all four of them #idk if there’s spoilers in the tags i didn’t watch and I’m scared to #shay shitposts #anyway deputy director bailey literally looks like the man on the pringles can just bald faced and that’s why i call him what i call him xx #can’t believe tumblr betrayed me and said i can’t appreciate milfs and divide my hate of that annoying ass man #wish he got hit by a bus

[jrueships]

WIGGS !!!!!!!

#i care him ur honorrrr !!!!!! #'draft busts' being happy the only thing that matters truly #his lil FAAAACE AAAAAAH #he :] #YALL MADE HIS DREAMS COME TURE 😭!!! #him wiping away his happy tears with his jersey then immediately going over to validate his teammates WAAH #the towel boy coming in too late lol #it's ok wiggins is resourceful !! #his teammate having to lean down to hear him.. #the wonderful looneys in the background lol #looneying it up #gp2 kinda looks like j*m c*rrey im sorry i genuinely do not know why i think that i just see him and get attacked #maybe the the goattee??? i saw him at an angle where his chin looked jutted out and i screamed #OTTO !!!!!!!!!!! #he wants to be involved in EVERY conversation !! #this is so cute <3 #da milfs #wiggs #opj #gp2

[sakebytheriver]

So like are Hetty and Trevor ever gonna fuck? The two of them are both equally so horny all the time and like do you expect me to believe that Trevor would not be into Hetty just because she's older? As if that man wouldn't have a whole fratboy speech about milfs and cougars or that Hetty the woman obsessed with stable boys wouldn't want to bone the only straight pretty boy around her who is literally pantsless for eternity? It's absolutely inconceivable

#ignore me #ghosts american #ghosts #minors dni #maybe i have a thing for milfs being with pretty boys whatever its not important

[welcometoteyvat]

 xingqiu, gold accents, ginkgo leaves, the light golden color tea gets in sunlight

hu tao, also gold accents, mahogany wood, smoky things, spider lilies unfurling in the dark. but it would be cool to edit her art so it’s more high contrast (darker outfit and hair) with stark black plum branches against winter snow 

chongyun, white, clouds, wisps of chill wind. fluffy things and a big fur coat

majority red palette ningguang would also be cool

and of course, zhongli with gold orange. old man can’t beat the geo lord cor lapis soulmates (ambiguous relationship) with azhdaha allegations

#for personal reference #had a revelation that ht's plum blossom thing could. could be turned into xue hua piao piao bei feng xiao xiao #you know. the meme song. HWIOEFJEKWJFWELJ she'd love it though #anyways i want to make these someday maybe as graphics if i ever improve lol so this is just a thought dump #i think ht and xq work the most bc they have pretty blatant accent colors on their outfits #cy works kind of but there's not that much i feel like i could do w white T_T #im sorry my boy i feel like i talk sm about him and then... no thoughts head empty when it comes to actually thinking about him #ning also doesn't really work but that's bc i think her palette already does a really good job balancing the gold and red #*doesnt rlly work as in: if you made a graphic where the major color is her accent color ie red #like it's SOOOOO delicious looking at her og outfit bc of the red hair thing her eyes and the tattoo on her leg #genuinely so appealing. looking at the in game fits maybe they couldve put more yellow on her dress but overall its still pretty good #very slay that there are canon milfs in this game and she's definitely one of them #going back to ht and xq i have never stopped having thoughts about xq maybe he's my real favorite blorbo #blue and gold genuinely fucks so hard like AAAAAAA wdym xingqiu progression of autumn golden ginkgo trees in liyue his eyes like pools of am #amber and whatever is going on with that metal thing on his outfit #his design man... #i was also gonna say xiao with like purple. but idk i feel like his design works better with that random hodgepodge of colors he has already #like its mixed up enough but it works. also red (minimal) green purple gold looks so good on him #ramblings! #hu tao #xingqiu #chongyun #ningguang #who else. kaveh w primary colors only would look cool. but first i'd have to make him not as pale................... warm colors suit him ok

[wizardnuke]

laying on the floor. jester is so young. it's all a coming of age story for her she's so young and they were all tired and scared at the end but she's so young and she stepped into that circle and asked her question and had years taken from her. she didn't know. ough

#deucey is in his 100s and then the others are all in the 23-35 zone except for jester who is. maybe 21 #I feel like there's a gap between jester/beau and the rest of them tho veth is what 26? 27? #we Just Don't Know about yasha or molly #fjord never brings it up but I've always seen him as late 20s/early 30s given life experience and the way he holds himself #caleb is confirmed 32/33? but like. he has zee severe disadvantage of missing 11 whole entire years #I think sooo much abt what they've all been thru and how prepared/unprepared they were for everything #caleb cannot catch a fucking break. he hasnt had the chance to exist without Fear literally since he was like 14 maybe #jessie is so young.. she was 20/21 and then she was 25/26 same age as veth #it's not a lot it could've been worse but I keep thinking abt the discussion abt tief lifespans and everyone assuring her that she's still #got plenty of time left. if that had happened literally anyone else it would've been no biggie except maybe for caleb #beau would have been lowkey thrilled I think. so much of her story is abt having agency and being older would help her with that #but jester is young and that's integral to her character she's figuring things out and exploring the world #I feel like I'm Dying #deucey would have been so chill about it #fjord and yasha would've shrugged it off #veth probably would have freaked out and then she would have made cougar/milf jokes for the rest of the campaign #caleb absolutely would have been fucked up about it #jessie and caleb they're so young. like caleb's 32 but he's never had a really chance to just live. and jester's just. so young #I'm losing my mind #jdkfjfkfkf if essek had been with them they literally wouldn't have been able to figure out what happened #this man and his 700 yr lifespan he would've been like eh. I'm a dead man walking anyway #cue 'awwww essek'

[yousaytomato]

Thinking about that post about men in the 70s and 80s, because I also think there's something to be said for women pre-2000.

If celebrities wore makeup it was lip stick and eye shadow, no such thing as a concealer or contour, middle aged women allowed to look middle aged....

#woes of emily #y'all say you want milfs but all these women have a 20 step regime where they try their hardest to not look like they're a day over 25 #i was looking at old met gala pics and its so so cool seeing women bare faced. women with wrinkles. #still high glam!! still in the ball gowns and lacquered hair! #idk. probably they were covered in products and i just don't know enough about it to notice #maybe it's that they simply look different than now so my brain thinks that's better #and look. women can of course wear foundation constantly. they can use a slurry of chemicals. they can get surgeries. #in the pursuit if beauty. because they want to #but the argument of empowerment through these things has always felt too convenient to me #which is not a conversation we're ready to have and i am certainly not the one to lead it lmao but. yeh

[cryptotheism]

I am fascinated by what makes something pornography. I think it can be defined by a core of fantasy. There is a gravity to it. As if everything in the story exists only so this particular scenario can happen.

Pornography breaks down when you extend it's borders. The eroticism of the Big Office Fuck N Suck starts to fade when you imagine everyone calmly going back to work. The pizza boy will get fired if he doesn't get back to work, and the nice young woman did in fact order that pizza because she is hungry.

Or maybe every stop on that pizza boys route is another Horny Milf or Hot Dad. Maybe nobody ever has money for pizza, and being a pizza guy requires significant athleticism. But if life in the Porn Universe is just an endless series of contrived happenstances, who grows all the food? Someone has to actually make the damn pizzas. Someone has to grow the flour for the dough, and drive the trains, and work the mills. Perhaps at its most extreme, the causality of the Porn Universe simply cannot proceed until someone busts a nut.

But in reality, people have wild encounters. There are office trysts and one-in-a-million flings with beautiful strangers. I am sure that every hour of every day, someone stumbles their way into a sexual mishap that would be panned as unrealistic if it were written for smut.

But then where's the line? When does a narrative become pornographic?

I think it has less to do with sex than it does with narrative contrivance. I think many video games are pornographic in this sense. When Raiden slices a missile in half with a glowing katana, the contrivance of the Rule-of-cool swallows itself, attains a narrative gravity that the tone cannot ever hope to escape.

I think the realm of pornography begins once questions of why become secondary. Why did he cut that missile in half? Because it's badass. Why did he get his dick out? Because it's hot. But more importantly, those things happen because the laws of the narrative demand it. It could not happen any other way. Raiden must cut the missile in half. She has to get her tits out. Otherwise, the story can't happen. But it does happen, and it fucks.

I think Pornography happens when the rules break down, when the ridiculous becomes not only necessary, but exalted.