#maybe i should eat aomething

[dynjir]

Today is a chill day... but also a sad day.

I quit my last job several months ago and ironically, despite all the horror stories, found a job at Amazon, haha

I’m glad I’m out of the job that I felt stuck and unhappy in for so long, but today, I made the mistake of looking back at the past memories of that place... and made myself sad and hurt again.

On one hand, it was a shitty environment full of people I should hate, but... I just don’t.

I even miss them. I wish the best for them.

...

I don’t know how to feel, how I should feel, but right now, I just feel sad.

#dyntalks #vent #sorry #this is kinda sad #but im feeling pretty low rn #maybe i should eat aomething #i was so tired i barely ate anything all day

[happiiest]

😛

#what kinda tongue face.....anyway #my lead janitor came and warned me that the supervisor was gonna be coming back later #aince she was giving a coworker who worked in my building a ride to work. and i was like: cool #and she went on to say that i gotta be careful about sitting down and gotta act busy #i told her i wasnt really scared of her finding me sitting down since i usually take a lunch breal after i finish my first building #so i sit down and eat for a while and get back to work #and my supervisor has came to my floor a couple times while i was on break and ahe was chill with it and said what she wanted to say. #but what i didnt know is that she complained to my lead janitor about me chillin and eating lunch. #fam. first off why didnt my lead tell me about her complaining maybe i woulda made sure i was busy or aomething #two when tf am i supposed to eat hm? i eat for an hour and then i get back to work for two or three hours and when i'm done i chill #for the remaining 2 or 3 hours depending on how long everything takes me #tonight i'm gonna be getting my floor clean in about 2 hours that'll be way before my supervisor shows up. and if she comes up here #and complains to me about chillin i'll show her my spotless floor. and thats it cuz im scared of telling people to fuck off #my supervisor thinks she can scare me but little does she know i place 0 value on my individual craft. i value a janitor job highly #but my position and the value that the company has put on me is minimal and i feel worthless. on top of that i could get fired from this #job and still have two amazing references from working in the factory from supervisors who loved my work and efforts. #its nice having them as references and not needing to worry about constantly making good impressions #my supervisor currently ia kinda shit. its apparent that she doesnt care about her job much either and she's a poor supervisor #i understand it may be out of her control if her higher ups are also mismanaging things. but the lack of communication #and the favoritism she shows is appalling. she doesnt check up on her buildings (the two i work in anyway) when she should #and i repeat she does not uphold and follow through with the things she communicates well #i dont like her i miss having my old supervisors. been thinkin about goin to walmart for work but. #i know i can expect wishy washy and inconsistant schedules #and also its retail. and its walmart. i hear alot of bad things about walmart and their working conditions #i hear theyre very strict about breaks and overtime. which tbh im not worried about but. #it just theres a couple red flags and idk if i wanna give up a consistant schedule and decent self supervising work conditions #that pays $10 an hour for a retail job that may have a varying schedule and i wont be self supervised on top of me #having to interact with unpredictable customers. #its almost a fair trade considering an extra couple dollars an hour would relieve some financial stress and i could actually have a small #financial pillow to fall back on in an emergency. but idk....still thinkin about it. i wanna spend some more time looking at different jobs

[bluishpenpendesarapen-blog]

BP1: Aren't You Tired?

It's my first blog post and I'm sorry to make this this way. They say I should start with a post having a nice mood or aomething like that. But how can I if I have this thing in my mind?And why am I apologizing? It's mine by the way. Anyway, enough with apology thing and let's start with this thing. Have you been doing the way I'm doing? Yeah, this is all about what I've been doing all my life. Like goodness gracious, it's kinda tiring. I'm not working (not yet, later will do) , but I'm not also studying. Like, hell yeah i'ts summer and there's no classes. So that's it! I'm still in college, in my last year. So this is for those who feel the same way as I do, if you don't, just stop reading this (joke!) It may sound immature but again, I'm sorry because it's me. Are you this person who, like me, still studying but since it's summer, you've been doing things repeatedly? Like waking up late in the morning, like it's already 10 am for Pete's sake and you're still thinking if you would stay in bed or not. Then your mother welcoming you with her sweet melodious voice in the sweetest manner which you've been expecting to hear, but it's the other way around. Been nagging you from the moment that you wake up. Then you'll start your day having a bad mood since your mothwr started it and you're blaming your mom for nagging you. You'll go wash up then turn on the television or if you don't feel opening it you go and browse your phone and go to your favorite social networking site (facebook, instagram, twitter, etc.) Posting every single detail of yourself. Or sometimes, it goes this way, you wake up, look for your phone and browse it, then you'll wash up go to the kitchen and prepare your own breakfast. ( sometimes washing up is not included, like err, it's gross). After that you just spend the rest of the day browsing the net, chatting your friends, stalking your crush or if you do have a boyfriend, you'll go watch over him all day long. And you'll watch funny videos, or as they say the worst thing, you'll be a KDrama addict. Like before you're one of those who bash KPop and KDrama addict, then you realize that you're already one of them. Make sense? Waking up late in the morning, eat breakfast, spend your day doing nonsense, then eat again and eat, then sleep late at night. That's how your day goes, then you say, my day is productive! Goodness, you can still say that, other people may ask for a day of since they've been working 5 days in a week for 8 to 10 hours in a week or sometimes it extends up to 6 day or sometimes they don't even have rest and you call your day productive? Maybe that's the reason why your parents, your mom to be specific is nagging you always. Because you are doing things only lazy people do. Aren't you tired if these? Aren't you going to make a move to change your lifestyle every summer? Are you going to stay the same? Won't you like to hear your mom saying nice things to you because you've change? Don't you like to be productive? I hear someone saying this: " If you want CHANGE to happen, you have to make some effort to take a step of the change you want to be"-SMVG If you will not step out of your comfort zone, change is impossible. Growth happens outside it's comfort zone. You have to stretch yourself out and make a move. Don't stay the same because your potential is way bigger than you think. Make your summer productive by doing things you've never done before. Stop regretting and blaming yourself for being lazy or thinking that you're just resting. Start it now while you still have time. Time is gold they say, but time could also be your friend. Making you realize how important he/she is in your life.