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thestyleswritings · 3 years

Text

Fix You

"We talked about something you said to me a while ago." She says, tone short. He couldn't tell if she was angry or if she was being shy about something.

"Well? I'd love to hear what I said that you're still thinking about months later and talkin’ to your therapist about, baby." The hand that lay stationery on her thigh squeezed a bit, encouraging her to talk to him.

"You said something about making a baby with me. Haven't been able to stop thinking about it." She muttered, biting her lower lip. His whole body went rigid beneath her at that.

Or - The one where you have depression and Harry leads you in the right direction, and then some

(6.1K)

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Mention of Mental Health Issues, VERY brief mentions of suicide, Language, Possible Breeding Kink(??), Smut (at the end)

Masterlist

I wrote this in one night,,, shout out to mania.This isn’t even what I was working on. I don’t know if this is something that many people will want to read but it definitely brought a smile to my face to write. Do I need therapy? Probably. Will I ignore that and continue to escape my own mind through fiction? Absolutely. Reblog/Like if you enjoy!

Harry knew she'd been struggling for a long time. It wasn't like her depressive periods lasted very long when they happened, maybe around a week or so, but when they hit, they hit her hard. He'd asked her when they first started dating, years ago, why she never invited him over and why she always went to his place, and at first she didn't want to tell him. It was embarrassing to her that she sometimes got into these periods where she didn't even want to lift her head from the pillow, let alone tidy up her flat.

Harry eventually went over to her place once she felt comfortable enough to let him. She knew he wasn't going to judge her, and she knew all he wanted was to help her feel better. He stayed at her flat for hours the first time he came over, helping to fold the laundry she had done days before, dusting the bookshelf, clearing out the refrigerator. He'd joked they were a perfect match since he loved to clean up while listening to music they both loved; it relaxed his mind. His love language was acts of service anyway, which he constantly had to remind her of. He didn't mind doing anything and everything in his power in order to alleviate his lover's stress. She had sworn to Harry she'd try her best to keep the place in tiptop shape, but he didn't actually expect her to.

He'd lost more than one friend to severe depression and he knew it was nothing to take lightly. Unfortunately, he also knew the signs to look for in suicidal people all too well. He could tell she had become moodier and spent a good bit of her day in bed either sleeping or just staring off into the void. She texted him that she was at home more and more, opting out of seeing her close friends for drinks or dinner. He hadn't seen her, either. It was all beginning to worry him deeply. He knew she'd have bad days, he'd signed up for that, but this was bigger than just a rough day. It had been going on for nearly two weeks and he knew he couldn't wait to address it any longer. He wanted to approach her tenderly. He was fearful that if he misspoke, she would shut down.

That's how he ended up at her door one evening, unannounced. He brought along two sunflowers, one significantly taller than the other. He'd seen them at the florist's downstairs and they made him smile to himself. They were her favourite flower, and the posture of them reminded him of both of them. He hoped they would make her smile, too.

He didn't bother ringing the bell, fishing out the spare key she had made up for him from his jeans pocket. When he stepped through the threshold, his heart sunk. There were empty cups on the coffee table, and he knew that meant she wasn't eating. If she were, there would've at least been a bowl or two. In that regard, her untidiness was helpful. He could assess the situation before even having to talk about it.

He sighed deeply as he gently places the sunflowers down on the kitchen island, walking over to clear the short table in front of the loveseat. He could practically feel the pain she was in and he hated. He hated the fact that she had to be stuck with the short end of the stick. He walks the cups over to the sink, running the water over them for a moment before grabbing the sponge on the ledge of the sink to scrub them clean.

As he washed the cups, he thought of what he could say to her that would actually prove to be helpful. It wasn't easy to always have the right words when the person hearing them didn't care if they lived or died. He knew if he told her outright how upset he was seeing her this way, it would only serve to make her feel worse that she couldn't help it. He didn't want to force or therapy on her, but he really wasn't left with many options. He wouldn't lose someone else to this. He couldn't live with himself, nor without her.

He shuts off the tap and dries his hands on the cute yellow kitchen towel that was always draped on the cabinet next to the sink. With the flowers in hand, he cracks open her bedroom door. There are a few small piles of clothing around, t-shirts and sweatpants carelessly discarded based on the look of how everything was inside out.

The sight of her breaks his heart. She was curled up tight beneath her fuzzy blanket that he knew she only pulled out when she was missing him and his snuggles, facing the wall while her arm hung limply over the stuffed dragon he'd gotten her ages ago. He could tell she hadn't gotten up all day, that much was evident. All the lights in the apartment had been off when he'd arrived and there was a stillness to the air. She hadn't even answered his messages sent hours earlier. He thought the worst for a moment, frozen in place with wide eyes trained on her unmoving body before hearing a soft snore coming from her, easing his breathing exponentially.

He sits on the edge of her bed, placing the flowers with a shaky hand in a cup of water that had been sitting on her bedside table. He brings his hand up to the dip of her waist, gently rubbing up and down the length of her torso to soothe her awake.

"Wake up, bug. S'me. Brought ya a little present." He coos at her once he heard her intake a large breath, reaching up to tuck her thick hair behind her ear. He could tell she hadn't washed it in a few days and made a mental note to encourage her to shower with him. She stirred under his touch, like she could tell it was him even when she was deep in slumber.

"Harry?" She calls out quietly into the dark, feeling the warmth of his palm against her cheek. Had she been more awake and alert, she might've even been sheepish at her disheveled appearance. She already knew he saw all the empty cups on her table that had once been full of tea and coffee. She felt ashamed.

"Yeah baby, it's me. Can you turn around and let me see that pretty face?" He croons, removing the hand that had been stroking her hair.

She sighs deeply before turning over in her full sized bed, eyes focusing on the plush faux-down blanket beneath her. His hand slowly approaches her face again, this time grabbing hold of her chin softly to have her look at him. He smiles sadly at her. She knew that look. It's the same way her mother would look at her when she came into her room as a teenager. Pity, almost. It made her feel weak.

"Hello, my angel. Have you been in bed all day, lovie?" He dotes on her, running his thumb across her cheekbone. He knew the answer, he just wanted her to acknowledge it.

"Mhm. What time is it?" Her voice is hoarse, as if she'd been crying the night before. The sound of it deflated Harry's heart in his chest.

"S' a quarter til six, lovie. What time did you fall asleep?" He asks, leaving his hand on her face to cradle her soft cheek.

"Dunno. Seven, eight? This morning sometime." She replies, sighing at her own erroneous sleeping schedule. Harry presses his lips together silently, taking in her words.

"Alright. Well, I'm here now, so up you get." He requests softly. Softly enough where she doesn't find it demanding. He stands from her bed, holding a hand out to her.

"Did I hear you say you brought me something?" She asks as she sits up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. He chuckles at her, knowing that a huge part of her mental illness caused her to crave buying material possessions, only for them to mean nothing to her the very next day. It was something she was truly trying to work on.

"Yes baby, I did. S' on the bedside table." He informs her, waiting for her to turn and see them before he walks closer to her. She caresses the vibrant petals of the yellow flower, biting her lower lip between her teeth.

"I... I love them, Harry. Thank you." He can hear the tightness in her throat and he worries that he should've just not gotten them at all for a moment before he sees the genuine smile across her lips.

"I saw them and thought of you. Well, us, really. Don't they look like us?" He beams at her, and she sort of thinks she can see what he means. He looks like a sunflower when he smiles. He brings light and beauty into her life. Maybe that's why she found herself wanting to cry. Because she felt like she wasn't worthy of the human sunflower standing in her room.

"Yeah. They do look like us." She offers a smile, smaller this time now that she's thought about it. She wraps her arms around his middle, allowing the overwhelming feeling of warmth and comfort to consume her for a moment before pulling away.

"I should probably go clean off the coffee table, huh?" She says humorlessly, walking the way of the door before his voice stops her.

"I did it for you, baby. Why don't you come with me to have a nice warm shower? I want to talk to you about some things while we're in there anyway." Panic strikes her still; what did he want to talk about? Was he finally fed up? Did he find someone else, someone who could take care of themselves properly? Was that why he was being especially sweet on her? She felt like she could throw up. She didn't know how to do this without him anymore, and that alone scared her. It wasn't to say she didn't adore him for all that he does for her, she just wished he didn't feel like he had to. She wished she could get her mind well enough to care to do even the simplest tasks.

She nods her head and thanks him quietly for straightening up before walking into her bathroom and stripping down to nothing. She reaches into the shower to turn on the water and waits for it to get warm, as well as Harry. She didn't like the sound of wanting to talk, even if he hadn't necessarily said it in a menacing way. When he joins her, he follows her lead by taking everything he wore off. He didn't want to look at her body for too long and become distracted like he often did when he saw her, especially when he really saw her. She had soft features and her body was always so pliant in his hands. Though, he couldn't allow his mind to wander right now.

He gets in first, testing the water and making sure it was around the temperature they both liked before reaching for her hand and pulling her in gently. She expected him to keep some distance, so when he wrapped his arms around her from behind as they stood under the steady stream of water, she was a bit taken back. Was he being overly affectionate as a way to say goodbye? He places a few kisses to her shoulder before peeling himself away and grabbing her peach shampoo off the built-in shelf. She leans her head back to make sure her hair is all wet before allowing him to lather her hair with the sweet smelling soap for her. She always loved how he massaged her scalp with it.

"So, I know you might think I wanted to talk about something bad, but I promise it's nothing bad. I just want you to know that before you start making scenarios up in your mind." He speaks softly, matching the pressure of his fingertips in her hair. He sees her shoulders sag and he feels awful. She'd already started thinking of potential issues he may have wanted to talk about. He carries on by rinsing the shampoo out and repeating, creating a much foamier lather the second time around. He rinses it out for her by guiding her beneath the waterfall, following up with the peach conditioner.

"What do you want to talk about?" She whispers, enjoying the feeling of Harry's hands moving lower with her wash rag, scrubbing her limbs delicately as to not harm her skin.

"Well... you. You know how much I love you, yeah? Can't fuckin' live without you, you know? Hurts me when we're apart for too long, or when we have to sleep alone. I, um... I just want you to be happy," he sighs. He prattled on a bit; his thoughts were jumbled and he didn't know how else to tell her this.

"I want to be able to know you're okay when I'm not with you, even if I want to be with you always. I know you're going through a rough spot right now, and I want you to have help. More help than just me," he's as gentle as he can be, and she appreciates it. It doesn't mean she wants to cry any less, of course, but she knows he has the purest intentions.

He wants her to thrive, not just survive. He knew he could only do so much for her before she had to start doing things for herself. He loved to baby her and take care of her, but not when he had to. He wanted to help her shower sometimes and feed her because he wanted to, not because she wouldn't do it herself if he didn't.

"Are you saying you want me to find a therapist?" She asks softly. She's not opposed to the idea, she just never found the strength to actually care enough about her own mental well-being to make an appointment.

"Are you okay with that? Would you be open to it if I helped you find someone to talk to? And maybe try medication? I know it's a lot at first, but it helps so many people. Just can't keep seeing you so sad. Hurts my soul, since we share the same one." He turns her around now to look at her property while they spoke. He could see the furrow in her brow, like someone was pinching them together with their fingers.

He saw the tears welling up in her eyes and his heart nearly explodes at the pout forming on her face. This isn't what he wanted to happen. He didn't want to make her cry. Her chin trembles as she tries her hardest to look anywhere but at his face.

"Oh, baby," he coos, wrapping her up in his arms once more, "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm so sorry, m'love," he kisses the top of her head, peppering them all around wherever he could reach. "M' just worried, baby. When I came in earlier it looked like you- I just, I can't imagine what I would do if-" he's slightly panicked now, she can feel his heart picking up it's pace. She didn't know that was something he worried about with her and it made her whole body ache.

"You didn't. It wasn't that. I would really appreciate if you could help me find someone to help me further. I'm crying because I'm hurting you when I don't deserve you in the first place," she sniffles, pressing her face further into the slippery skin of his neck. "You deserve someone who's whole, someone who you don’t have to worry about."

"Hey," he pulls back from her, holding both her shoulders so he can look her in the eyes, "I love you. So much that I'd die without you at this point. Just told you that. Please don't put thoughts and words into my mouth. I mean everything I say to you, don't let your brain fool you into thinking it's not true. When I tell you I love you, please know I mean that with everything I have and everything I am. I'm not whole without you. I worry because I love you so much that it would kill me to lose you," His voice is soft yet firm all at once, conviction filling his tone.

"Promise?" She asks weakly, knowing what he's telling her is the truth. Her brain tended to sabotage her.

"I promise." He kisses her lips, backing her underneath the water once more to rinse her off before reaching behind her to shut off the water. He steps out before her, grabbing her towel and wrapping it around her short body.

"I'm going to make something for us to eat, angel. Come sit with me at the counter so I don't get lonely?" He asks once they're both dressed. He wore her sweatpants and t-shirt while she wore his Christmas themed pyjama pants with his Spice World hoodie.

"You want me to?" She can't help but wonder why he wants her to be around him so much. She knew he loved her and they'd been dating for almost four years, but she found herself to be a buzzkill. She just exuded sadness, she thought. Harry scoffs at her playfully, rolling his eyes. He knew she couldn't help but doubt herself, but he still found it absurd. Of course he'd want to be around her all of the time. She was so accepting and loving, even if she didn't think so. She was good.

"Obviously, angel. Always want you within two feet of me. As a matter of fact, I wish you were pocket-sized so I could bring you everywhere with me until you got sick of seeing my big dumb head." He smirks at her, making her genuinely laugh. She hadn't done that in a while.

"You're such a dramatic nutter." She laughs, pushing him away from her so she could walk into the kitchen to find a stool to occupy.

"Me!? Were you not the one that cried because you couldn't stop thinking about The Hunger Games?" He comes in behind her, smacking her ass playfully in retaliation of her push before quickly walking at least an arms distance away from her.

"That's literally not fair? Finnick deserved so much better than that. You cried when we watched it together too, fucker!" She explains even more dramatically than he had been in the first place, as if he hadn't been there too. He chuckles as he opens her refrigerator, kissing his teeth when he finds nothing defrosted to cook. All she really had was oat milk, a bottle of homemade cold brew and a few cups of yoghurt.

"Fair enough. I'm going to take this chicken down so we can make it tomorrow, but since there's nothing else, do you wanna do Japanese?" Kicking the door closed as he walks closer to her with two water bottles in hand.

"You know I can never say no to Japanese. I'll order it," she offers, but he's already shaking his head with his phone in hand.

"It's on me. We're eating food you bought tomorrow, s'only fair. I wanna know what else you could never say no to? Like maybe... moving in with me?" He says without looking up as he places the order, already having her favourite meal saved on his phone, along with his own.

At first, she doesn't react. She doesn't move a single muscle, not even her eyes. He doesn't take her stunned silence personally, waiting for her to process what he'd just offered. He can practically see the cogs turning when he looked at her.

"You want me... to live with you... in your big beautiful mansion of a house..." She says slowly, turning her gaze to his own. He exhales a laugh at the flabbergasted expression on her face.

"Yes, baby. Told you I'd bring you everywhere with me, and we've been together almost 4 years, known each other 6. I don't know about you but I'm ready to wake up to your face every day." He smirks once more, reaching out to tucker her hair behind her ear like he always did. He just wanted to see more of her pretty face.

"You- I... Harry. You know what? Yeah. I will." She had began to refuse before catching herself. This was a normal next step in a long term relationship. She wouldn't sabotage this. She was a better version of herself when she was with him, and they made each other happy.

"Yeah? You will? I'm so happy baby, thank you. I'm tired of waking up alone and missing you every day. It's dumb." He tackles her in a hug, attacking her with a million kisses. He doesn't bother holding back the few happy tears he sheds, he doesn't care and he knows she doesn't either.

—

He had proposed to her the day she moved in, after she unpacked her last bedroom item and found a place for it. It was the silly green dragon, who now lived between two puffy pillows on their shared bed. He'd had the ring burning a hole in his dresser for over a year and he couldn't stand it anymore once he saw how at home she'd made herself. That, and he wanted to make love to her while she wore the sparkling diamond.

Something about the visual prompted him to drop to his knee behind her instantly.

It had been a year since she moved into Harry's “big beautiful mansion of a house”, and they were happier than ever. She was seeing a therapist that she enjoyed, someone whom she felt comfortable with. She had also begun taking medication. The first few prescriptions weren't right, but Harry encouraged her to keep trying different things and held her hand along the way. She finally found the one that matched her chemistry, and it worked a treat. She could focus on things better, and she had the energy to do so many things that she would even go on the occasional run with Harry. It was amazing for him to see her in such high spirits. It was like the her that only he could see was finally free, brightening up the world around her. More importantly, she could finally see herself that way, too.

A few months after she said yes, he had said something to her that she couldn't shake.

"Wanna make babies with you."

He'd said it to her in passing, staring at her with hearts in his eyes as she sat on the grass in the garden. The sun was hitting her skin so beautifully and she just looked so radiant. He couldn't help it. It had just slipped out.

She brushed it off at the time, but now it was all she could think about. She had even told her therapist about it. While the older woman seemed excited for her, she still asked if that was something she'd want. If she'd even thought about it.

And truthfully, she had thought about it before. A lot. She's thought about Harry rubbing her tummy, kissing it and singing. She's thought about them falling asleep together when the baby is finally born. She's thought about how much of a daddy's girl they'd have, if it turned out to be a girl. She's thought about how if he babies her this much, she would love to see how much he'd baby their real baby. She's thought about how much she and Harry would love their shared creation. She’s thought about how much more love it could bring into their lives.

She'd arrived home from a session one day after work to find Harry peacefully reading on the couch in the soft yellow light of their living room. She took a moment to admire him from this perspective before making her presence known. Jingling her keys a bit harder than usual, making his head turn in time to watch as she hangs them up before shedding her coat and walking over to the back of the couch.

"Hello, my love." She coos, rubbing her flat palms against his chest. She kisses the side of his face a few times and he grabs hold of her hands, clutching her closer and enjoying her warmth.

"Hi, lover. How was today? Work was alright?" He lets her hands go with a kiss so he can dog-ear's his page before shutting his book, giving her his undivided attention. She rounds the couch and decides to sit on his lap, looping her arms around his neck. His hands automatically shift to hold her waist.

"Work was the same. People are obnoxious and rude. What can I do? Session went well too. Talked about something I've been thinking about a lot." She looks down at him, tracing her finger subconsciously against the silver chain he never took off. She can't help but smile at how pretty her lover is, making him reflect the same expression.

"Want me to go down there and give them a talking to? You know I'd do it." He glares playfully, furrowing his brows and puffing his chest. She laughs softly at his silly demeanour. It's one of the things she loves the most about him.

"Shut up. Annoying," She laughs, hiding her face in his neck. He laughs with her, dropping a hand to one of her thighs to smack it lightly for her comment, ultimately choosing to leaving it resting there.

"That's you. Anyway, what did you talk about? Is there something bothering you?" He asks, ignoring the way her brow raises at him for calling her the annoying one. They had such a lighthearted relationship. It filled them both with joy.

"We talked about something you said to me a while ago." She says, tone short. He couldn't tell if she was angry or if she was being shy about something.

"You said something about making a baby with me. Haven't been able to stop thinking about it." She muttered, biting her lower lip. His whole body went rigid beneath her at that.

"You've been thinking about it this whole time and didn't say anything?" He questions softly, looking up at her with loving eyes. She nods her head, looking off to the side to gather her thoughts.

"Yeah. I... I really want that, Harry. I already promised to love you forever when I said yes, and you make me so much better. I can't imagine how amazing you'll be as a father. I, um, I also stopped taking my birth control a few days ago." She spoke with confidence. She knew this was what she wanted, and she could tell he did too. There was something in the way she spoke about it that made him stand with her in his arms.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to put a baby in you?" He speaks boldly, almost matter of fact. He wasn't asking, he was confirming. She says nothing, choosing instead to nod furiously.

He beams at her, bringing her all the way to their bedroom before sitting her delicately on the bed. She rolled her eyes at that; it's not like she was already pregnant. He catches the look and reaches to her shoulder to shove her on the bed with an eye roll of his own.

"Better?" He mocks, grinning from ear to ear at her shocked expression. He takes his shirt, that was actually her shirt, off along with his joggers before clambering on top of her.

"You're such a knobhead." She laughs, taking off her own shirt. She didn't feel like waiting.

"A knobhead that you want to come in you. A knobhead that you want to father your children!" He exclaims jokingly. She can't help the grin on her face, pulling his chin until their lips met. Her grin evaporates when she feels him practically rip her skirt off, alongside her flimsy thong. She gasps at the feeling of his fingers on her, rubbing over her slit ever so gently. Feeling how wet she was for him.

"Were you thinking about this on your way home? You're fucking drenched." His voice had lost all sense of humour, acquiring a certain gravel to it that only served to make her wetter. She only nods, kissing his lips in a pleading sort of way.

"You want my baby this bad, huh? Want me to make you a mummy? Want to make me a daddy? S' that it, angel?" She couldn't take it anymore. The sound of his voice was driving her insane and she had checked if she was ovulating this morning and found out she was. It was like her body was demanding for him.

"Yes! Yes, lover. Please? Want it so bad," Harry felt his heart warm at the tone of her voice. He knew they called each other lover in bed when they were feeling too romantic, too lost to the moment. In a good way. She was truly desperate to try for a little person with him. Quickly, he rolls them over so she's sat atop him once more. He kisses her immediately, bringing his hand down to dip his fingers into her now sopping wet hole.

She choked on a gasp as she felt him slide two in, curling them at the joint to apply pressure exactly where he knew she needed it. He took advantage of her head falling back, attacking her neck with tender love bites and kisses. His other hand roamed around her stomach and back for a bit before reaching for her chest, tweaking her nipple between two slender fingers. Her jaw dropped when she felt his thumb land on her clit, circling hard and fast.

"God, Harry! Fuck," she could hardly breathe at the efforts her lover was putting in. "Yes! Yes," her praise was quiet, but it fuelled him regardless.

He was always an attentive lover, but something about his actions were nearly feral. Like he couldn't get enough, no matter how much she gave him. He would always want more of her. More sound, more taste, more feeling. He wanted her to always evade and overwhelm his senses. He moans at her noises, along with the feeling of her clenching around his fingers.

"C'mon, lover. Come so I can put our baby in ya," he breathes against her neck, licking any patches of skin he can reach. Her eyes roll back at his words, crying out for both him and God.

"Tha's it, lover. Good girl," he whispers huskily, slowing the movement of his fingers and moving the other hand to hold her body even more tightly against his. When he can feel her body shuddering, he pulls his fingers from her and sticks them in his mouth, sucking them clean in a filthy way.

"Please put our baby in me," she requests in a small voice with a smile, tears streaking down her cheeks. She was so overwhelmed by him and by the prospect of what they were doing that she started crying happy tears. His smile is worth everything to her in that moment, pulling his face up for a kiss.

"Yeah, lover. I'll do that," his voice is tender, like his touch. He kisses her as he lays her body beneath him again, stopping for a moment to take in her form. Her body was so gentle and relaxed after he'd made her feel good, and he couldn't help but kiss her tummy. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and her hair was starting to frizz, but she'd never looked better.

This wasn't by any means the first time they'd had sex without a condom but it was, however, the first time they'd done it without her taking birth control.

The rational part of their minds knew it wouldn't physically feel any better, but they couldn't help the buzz around them at the thought.

He kisses her neck lightly as he grasps himself, tugging a few times to make sure he was nice and hard for her. He knew he was already rock solid, but he wanted to be extra sure. This was important. When he pushes into her, his eyes roll to the back of his head. She grits her teeth at the feeling of being so full of her lover, digging her nails into his side.

He pushes the rest of the way in, taking a pause there for a moment. He could tell he was pressed against her in a delicious way from the look on her face. His hips started to create a rhythm they could both enjoy; deep and hard, slow and passionate. They were making love, after all.

"G'na be the best mum, fuck, I know it," he pants into her ear, leaning his body further into hers. She whines into his hair, lifting her hips off the bed to get closer to him, even if it wasn't possible.

"You're- oh my god, fuck! You're gonna be the best dad, you already take, oh shit, take such good care of me. Such a good lover,” she can tell her voice sounds fucked out, but hell if she gave a fuck. He squeezes her hand in response, kissing her neck again. He felt himself get hotter at her words. The way their bodies collided could be heard in the thick air around them, filling their ears with beautiful music.

She could hear it in the way he moaned in her ear that he was so close. She was, too, just at the thought of him filling her up with possibly more than just nut. They could get a baby out of this. Her eyes roll back as she practically howled in pleasure.

“Please come, please I wanna feel it,” she begged as she lost her mind, repeating her chant.

“Oh my fuck, yeah, baby. Finish for me first, lover. Good fucking girl,” he praises her, kissing along her collarbones as he fucked her through her orgasm. He was so close he could practically taste it, but he had to say something first.

“I love you, angel. I’m gonna love you forever.” His words are broken up between moans in her ear, making her cry out with him. She was so sensitive that when he let go and shot into her, she came again.

He could barely move once he was spent, dropping his weight to his elbows and laying on top of her chest, which was moving rapidly along with his own.

He kisses the skin beneath him as she plays with his hair, both too dazed to say anything.

She’s the first to break their silence when she tells him she loves him too.

“‘M bloody glad you love me too, or else it would be pretty awkward for us to have a baby together.” He mutters sarcastically, not even having the energy to lift his head. It was like she sucked out his soul and he needed 2 to 5 business days to get back to being functional. She’d have to call Jeff and let him know the bad news.

“You’re a dork. But, I wouldn’t choose anyone else to do this with. You helped me through the worst days and showed me what I could be. I owe you everything.” She cards her fingers through his hair, speaking softly.

“I resent that, firstly. But I’m proud I get to be this person for you. You’re everything to me, so you don’t owe me a thing. I’m just happy that you’re getting help for yourself. It’s not an easy thing to do, and I’m proud of you. Extremely fucking proud.” He had turned his head to where his chin was poking at her tummy so he could look at her face.

“I’m happy I took your advice. Outsourcing help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong. It shows that you can pull yourself up and realise you have a problem, you know?” She tries to explain it, but he knows. He’d been telling her all along. He even went to therapy.

“Yeah, baby. I’m happy you’re here with me.” He says, and she knows he meant here, alive, not just here with him at that moment. She holds onto him a little bit tighter.

“I’ll always be here. I need you too much to go anywhere”

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#harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles blog #harry styles smut #harry styles dirty #Harry Styles #boyfriendharry #harry x reader #harry x y/n #harry x you #harry 1d #1D FanFic #1dff #1d fic #1d imagines #masterlist #mobile masterlist

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bibbawrites · 3 years

Note

Do you have an best friend Charlie headcanon?

ooh here we go this may end up being a long one cause i have so many thoughts

so i imagine any friendship with charlie would be high key flirty, to the point where people think you’re dating all the time (and of course when they say that you both fake gag cause ew why would you date each other thats so gross) cause charlie is just so cheeky and a very touchy feely person, so it would look like you were dating

to go with that, i imagine that you’re childhood friends and have known each other forever, so you really don’t have a concept of personal space when it comes to each other, you’re always touching or sitting/standing right on top of each other and you don’t even realise you’re doing it, you’re just so used to each other

spontaneous adventures. whether its a trip to mcdonalds at 3am (MACCAS RUN!) or a random roadtrip where you just drive and spend time just the two of you, no destination in mind, theres never a dull moment with charlie

he would be so protective of you, any guy even thinks about looking your way and charlie is glaring at them from across the room. he scared off your prom date in high school cause he gave him a lecture about what he would do if you were treated badly and the poor kid was so intimidated he texted you and cancelled right after (which ended up being fine cause charlie was your date and you had way more fun than you would have with your original date)

you’d definitely have matching rings or bracelets or something, maybe even one of those cheesy best friends heart necklaces that kids get which you got as a joke but charlie LOVED IT and hasnt taken it off since

you know each others fast food orders/coffee orders off by heart and dont even have to ask what the other wants when you’re going out to eat or drink, you can order for each other with no issue at all

“girls” nights, where you do facemasks and paint each others nails and get wine drunk and just gossip about anything and everything. he tells you all about what’s happening on set and something dumb he and owen probably did, and you tell him about the girl in your class at college who got pregnant and has no clue which one of 5 guys the father is (and of course you’re both placing bets on who the baby daddy is)

speaking of owen, you 100% moved in with him and charlie when they were filming for jatp, and the three of you became known as the three musketeers. everyone always joked that if you found one of you the other two weren’t far away (and if you didnt go with him to vancouver then you were on the phone talking to charlie 24/7, counting down the minutes til you were reunited)

PET NAMES! you can’t remember the last time you actually called charlie by his first name, your go to was normally char, but you also frequently use bub or babe (which then fuels the dating rumours), and he only ever calls you by your nickname or some stupid name he gave you when you were kids like bubbles or something like that, which you pretend to hate but really you love it and wouldnt want it any other way

okay ill stop now but i have way more if you want to hear them let me know :)

#jatpsmut asks #charlie gillespie

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smol-and-grumpy · 4 years

Text

Light My Fire - CH02

Pairing: CEO!Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: She always thought her boss was an ill-tempered man, but when he presents her with a proposition she can’t quite deny, she gets to know him better. It’s not bad, right? Because all she has to do is being fake married to him for six months, sounds do-able, right? Right.

Warnings: Slow build, a pinch of angst, doubts, a little fluff too, maybe?

WC: 2975

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons <3

SERIES MATSTERLIST

There’s a knock at the door in the afternoon and she opens up to Gabriel, Dean’s personal driver and handyman. She has known him for a while now, having started at the company almost at the exact same time. Gabe’s secretive — probably why Dean hired him in the first place — and he’s really easy to talk to.

“Boss said I should move your things to his apartment.” Gabe says and steps in.

“What else has he told you?” She closes the door and follows Gabe over to where her suitcases are.

“Nothing much. You’re married or something. But I signed a NDA, so, no worries,” He shrugs like it’s no fucking deal, which makes her wonder what else he knows. She wonders what else Gabe witnessed while driving around for Dean.

“Is that all?” He asks and points his finger at her two packed suitcases.

“Yeah, I travel light.” She smiles, feels a little embarrassed actually. But that’s how it is. Everything she owns fits into two lousy suitcases. It’s actually quite sad when she thinks about it.

“Damn, you could have taken the subway with them suitcases. There’s no need for me,” Gabe says it with an amused tone to his voice.

Gabe drives into the parking garage of the building Dean lives in. He tells her to call the elevator and take the one far left because that one will go to the top floor without making unnecessary stops. He then takes out her luggage and follows her.

As they are standing in the elevator, the stupid music starts to play and she hates that. Hates lame elevator music, because it makes everything so much more awkward. Dean even has his own elevator. It’s a little ridiculous when you think about it.

They arrive and Gabe shows her the way, which is probably not really hard because there’s only one door that looks like an apartment door. All the other doors had signs on them that say Keep out! or Private!

Gabe rings the bell and she waits behind him. She can’t lie, she’s a little scared. Like, he’s her boss and he’s so damn grumpy all the time and she’s afraid that he’s going to fire her even in his own home.

Dean opens the door, his hair’s ruffled, his jacket and tie are off, the top two buttons of his shirt are loose, and his sleeves are rolled up. The shirt has those crinkles on them as if he just took a nap. Maybe he did? He was complaining about a headache earlier.

“Hey,” He says and opens the door wider, for Gabe and her to step through, “Thanks Gabe, that’ll be all.”

“Right,” Gabe nods, “I’ll be in the car ready to leave when you are.”

Dean gives Gabe a courtesy nod before he closes the door behind him. He then turns to her. It's really awkward. She wonders if she’s made a mistake in agreeing to be his fake wife.

He has both his hands in his pockets when he looks at her and asks, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” She manages to give him a weak smile. She can’t tell him that she’s in fact, not really okay of course, that she’s in fact, nervous as hell.

“Come on, follow me,” Dean starts to walk through the penthouse and she needs to speed up to be able to keep up with him. His legs are incredibly long and hers are not, “I’ll show you around.”

They walk into a big open space. There’s a black sofa in one corner. It faces a ridiculously big screen tv. There are also two big comforter chairs which she frowns a little at. It’s not that they don’t look nice, they just don’t really fit into the setting.

Dean senses her confusion, “I bought them for when Sam’s over. Watch,” He grins and walks over, sits in one and reclined himself. When he settles, he pushes a button and there's a buzzing sound, “It massages your back,” He says, a smile on his face that’s brighter than the sun. She couldn’t not laugh at that.

“Right,” Dean says then, “Gotta get out before I let myself be sucked into it. It’s hard to get out once you relax too much.”

She can imagine and actually, she can’t wait to get in there herself.

He continues to walk ahead and they get into a kitchen area. The fridge is more than twice as big as the one she has at home and it’s stocked up, too. Either he went to the store before or he has someone to do it for him. She thinks it must be the latter. She just can’t imagine him walking through the aisle wheeling a cart in front of him.

After the kitchen, he walks along a hallway and points to the rooms.

“That’s my study, I don’t use it that much but there’s a computer and printer. If you need something, you can use it.”

The door next to the office is the guest bathroom. It’s bigger than the living room of her apartment.

They walk further along the hallway and come to stop at two doors on either side of the narrow hallway.

Dean opens up the door to her right, “That’s your bedroom,” They walk in and it’s spacious as hell. She thinks it’s even bigger than her whole apartment. Everything is kept in a warm mix of white and beige, “And that’s your bathroom.” He walks through to the en-suite and she can see that the tub is huge.

He looks at her, sees her mouth standing agape and has to grin.

“What?” She asks, feeling a little flushed knowing that he’s been watching her.

Pressing his lips into a tight line, he grins a little. There are teeny tiny dimples showing, “There’s a gym on the first floor of the building, you’re free to use it if you want.”

“Okay,” She follows him out again and wonders what is behind the door that he hasn’t mentioned, “And what’s there?”

“That’s my bedroom.” He says simply, and he’s already rushing back into the living area, and fuck why are his legs so damn long. She is glad that they’re bowed, he would probably be even faster if they were straight.

“Dean, slow down, I’m not that fast,” She has to call out because he’s already at the door to the balcony.

He laughs, “Sorry, I’m just so used to walking around with Sam and he never has a problem keeping up with me. I’ll try to go slower, okay?” He waits until she reaches him.

“That'd be great, thanks.”

“Come on, you need to see this,” There’s a boyish smile decorating his face. It’s nothing like the grumpy Dean she knows as her boss. He’s genuinely content, and it shows.

He opens up the door to the balcony and holy shit, it’s not a balcony. It’s a freaking terrace. There’s a hot tub on the far left side, overlooking the city.

“Nice, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” She agrees, “It really is. How often do you get to enjoy it, though?” It’s a legit question because she knows how much he works.

“Maybe I’ll get to enjoy it more now that you’re here.” His voice is a little soft when he says it. Before she can even ask what he means by that, he clears his throat, “Right, I really need to go back to the office now. Will you be okay? I’ll try not to stay too late, alright?”

“Sure,”

“Make yourself at home. It’s yours now, too.” He’s about to turn around but then he stops, “Really missed you in the office this morning. Ruby doesn’t know how I drink my coffee.”

“It’s not hard? You drink it black.”

“Yeah, but hers is different.”

She doesn’t really know if he’s shitting her. Dean’s so hard to read sometimes.

“Dean, the coffee is the same!”

“Fine,” He rolls his eyes, “But anyway, just so you know. You’re missed in the office. Not just because of the coffee.”

“Now you’re just kissing my ass.”

Dean snorts out a laugh before he turns around and picks up his tie and jacket. He walks to the door, turns around again, “Call me when you need anything!”

She can’t even say okay because she can already see that the door closed.

Two suitcases are easy to unpack. Half of her new closet is still empty. She didn’t even need more than an hour.

Walking out into the living room, she sees the comforter and decides to spoil her body with a massage.

She sits in, reclines herself and pushes the same button Dean did before, and immediately a buzzing sound fills her ears as her back starts to vibrate. She lets out a squeal at first but soon starts to relax and it does feel really good. She closes her eyes and almost drifts off when she feels another kind of vibration in the back pocket of her pants.

Taking out her phone she looks at her screen.

Dean.

D: What are you up to? Find everything alright?

Y/N frowns. Because she sees the time and knows for a fact that he’s in a meeting right now because she organized that meeting.

Y/N: Aren’t you in a meeting?

D: Yeah, but I’m bored.

She doesn’t even know that he’s a texter. Every time she saw him with his phone in his hand, he talked to someone. He never just has his phone in his hand and fucking texts.

Y/N: If you’re really interested, I’m sitting in the comforter and I’m enjoying a massage.

D: Jealous.

Y/N: Was thinking about taking a bath in the hot tub. I’m allowed to use it, right?

D: You are. But I would wait til the evening. The view is nicer then.

Y/N: Okay.

But he’ll be here in the evening and he’ll see her in the tub. Ugh.

D: Right, just wanted to see if you’re okay. Since you are, I’m gonna go back to listening to whatever Donatello has to tell me. See you later, Y/N.

Y/N: TTYL

D: TTYL?

Y/N: Talk to you later

D: Oh, TTYL

She snorts out a laugh, thinks that texting-Dean is kind of adorable.

After a relaxing massage, she decides to take a shower. Mainly because she still hasn’t showered after she poured coffee all over herself this morning.

The shower’s huge too, the water pressure is excellent. The nozzles (and boy are there many of them), hit her sore spots just right.

She dresses herself back in some jeans and shirt. Normally if she’s at her home, she’d walk around in only a shirt but she’s practically a guest around here — even if Dean insists that it’s her home, she doesn’t trust it yet — and she doesn’t really know how her boss would react seeing her walking around in his apartment in only her underwear and a shirt.

Taking her book that she didn’t get to finish this morning out into the living room, she grabs a cup of coffee before she makes herself comfortable and cozies herself up on the couch to finish her book.

Just when she reaches the second to last page, Dean walks in, his tie already loose around his neck, “Honey, I’m home!” He smiles when he sees her staring at him, “I always wanted to say that once in my life.”

“You’re early,” She says, pushes at the button of her phone to realize that it’s almost 6pm. Normally he’s still at the office.

Dean switches on the light for her and she doesn't even realize that it starts to get dark out.

“Yeah, I still have a headache. It’s been like that since I woke up after the night I married Amara. Didn’t feel like working longer and leave you alone either.” He comes to sit next to her and she catches the smell of his cologne mixed with his musk. He smells delicious even after a long day and that’s not really fair.

“Should I go get some painkillers? You just have to tell me where they are kept.”

“Nah,” He sighs, “I’ll just take them before I go to sleep. What are you up to?” He asks her, and she sees that he’s eyeing up her book that she’s still clutching in her hands.

Her face starts to flare up.

“Just reading a book.” She says it in an easy way, tries to sound nonchalant about it but she knows that she fails.

Dean catches the cover before she could hide it and he starts to grin, “You sap.” He stands up again when he sees that she starts to feel uncomfortable if they didn’t change the subject soon.

“What do you want to eat? Does Pizza sound alright? I’m not in the mood to cook tonight.”

That’s when it dawns on her that she’s playing his fake wife and maybe she should have cooked him something for dinner? Because that’s what wives do right? She doesn’t fucking know because she hasn’t even been in a relationship long enough to cook anything for anyone. Except that she sometimes used to cook for Jack. Oh my god, Jack! She still has to tell him what happened!

She gets up from the couch, abandons her book and walks to Dean who’s already in the kitchen leafing through take-out leaflets, “I’m sorry, I should have cooked you something,”

He stops in his tracks to look at her, one eyebrow raised, “What?”

“Yeah, I’m supposed to be your fake wife and I’m supposed to cook you something.”

Dean sighs, “Y/N, really. That’s not why I fake married you. You don’t have to do anything in fact. It’s okay alright? I’m a big guy and if I want something cooked, I can do it myself.”

“Okay,” She says, still feels a little guilty about it, though. And Dean seems to sense it because he drops the leaflets and walks over to her, places his hand on the back of her neck and she catches the whiff of his cologne. It makes all the hair on her body stand up and she gets light headed.

He lowers himself a little, looks her in the eye, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, you understand? Hey, look at me.”

She does, looks straight into his green eyes. Dean Winchester has freckles. She never noticed them before, was always distracted by the green of his eyes.

There’s a moment of silence, and she doesn’t know if he feels it too. Feels a magnetic force that pulls her towards him.

“Are we good?” He leans in closer and she can feel his hot breath.

“Yeah,” She nods.

“Good,” He says, but doesn’t quite move away yet, if anything he moves even closer. He’s closer to her than he’s ever been, “Because I want you to feel comfortable around me, okay? I’m really not your boss when we’re together. I want you to be yourself, can you do that?”

“Sure,”

Dean smiles, showing his white fangs. Her heart races a little more. She would love to feel the teeth on her skin.

Y/N, what’s wrong with you?

He lingers a little longer, his hand still firm on the back of her neck and she feels like he’s staring into her soul. He licks his lips before he speaks, “Are you hungry?”

“Not really,”

She’s really not, at least not yet. She’s too confused to eat. Confused about the fact that she feels that she’s attracted to her own fucking boss. Someone who she’s faked married to!

“Right, how about you take that bath in the hot tube that you talked about? I’ll go take a shower and we’ll order later, huh?”

She looks out of the window and grins, because the sun’s going down and the view’s really is fabulous, “Sounds good to me.”

She slips into her room to change into a bathing suit. She doesn’t really have anything fancy, only a simple black bikini but she’s not really here to impress him, is she? She’s not really here to do more than being his fake wife, right? Right.

When she walks out to the terrace, Dean must already be in his room because she can’t see him but she did find the tub heating up and bubbling away. There’s a bottle of wine and glasses on the table next to the tub. She smiles when she thinks that he prepared it for her. She wouldn’t have guessed that he would do things like this. At least not boss Dean that she knows.

She steps into the tub and lets herself sink lower. Closing her eyes, she embraces the feel of floating outdoors.

“You didn’t pour yourself wine?” Dean’s voice suddenly jerks her back to reality.

Y/N opens her eyes to see Dean standing there, wearing a simple shirt and sweatpants. His hair’s still damp from the shower. She’s astounded, he looks completely different. Still good, but different. More casual, more relaxed.

“I was too excited to get in,” She smiles at him.

Dean mirrors her smile before he pours the wine for her, “You must have wine in there in order to get the full experience.” He walks over to hand it to her.

“Thanks,” She says, and thinks whether she should ask if he wants to join her? What’s the proper hot tub etiquette? “You want to come in?”

He chuckles, “Nah, maybe some other time, I’m enjoying the view from here.” He pours himself some wine and sits down, stretching himself before his face settles into a smirk.

She thinks it’s weird that he said he wants to enjoy the view but he’s sitting facing her.

CH03

#light my fire #dean winchester #ceo!dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #nathalie writes

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justatiredpotato · 3 years

Text

Set Me Free | Chapter 6

Chapter List

Pairing: hybrid!Yoongi x human!reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, coffee shop AU, hybrid AU

Word Count: Chapter: 3,000~ Total: 40,000~

Updates daily at 10pm MST

Warnings: cuteness and maybe sorta suggestive content (idk man I tried), misunderstandings, hurt feelings, big sad

Summary: Yoongi, a cat hybrid, has been hurt time and time again by a world that would have him believe he’s worthless. One day he finds himself in your protective care, and gets a new family to boot. But is it really that easy to escape the past and embrace a new beginning?

Author’s Note: In this fic the reader’s name is Yeoji

Another Author’s Note: This is a small chapter because the second half is from Yoongi’s POV and being posted separately. There is a lot of potentially triggering content in that section. You can totally skip it and just pick up on the next chapter if you want to!

When most of your boys were sick, everyone involved was miserable. They required near constant attention from either you or one of the other guys, and whined like they might actually be dying. The only exception to this rule was Jimin, who just got extra sweet and cuddly when he was ill; and now, Yoongi.

Just when you thought the cat could not get any cuter, he managed to do it. With his sleepy, puffy eyes, extra pink button nose, and need to be near you all the time since he couldn’t seem to get warm, he was just about melting you into the ground at every interaction. It had taken a lot of willpower to drag yourself away from him that morning. After several long minutes of coaxing you’d managed to untangle yourself from him and the mountain of blankets on your bed (which he had at some point started sharing with you almost every night.)

When you went back to check on him in the afternoon you found him shivering with a chill. You made him take some cold medicine in hopes he could sleep off the worst of it. Then you tucked his blankets tighter around him and he leaned into your warm touch.

“Noona, m’cold,” he mumbled, face half obscured by his covers.

“I’ll be back soon, sweetheart.”

He whined pathetically as you pulled away from him, catching your sleeve and holding on like a lifeline. “Don’t go,” he said. He nuzzled into the bed further, attempting to drag you with him.

You sighed, willpower quickly failing you. It was the middle of the week, and business had been slow all day. What’s the harm in quitting early? “Okay, let me go tell Jungkook I’m done for the day.” You thought you heard a happy chirp, as he released you. Yoongi was less conscious of hiding his more cat-like traits when he was sleepy, drunk, or evidently, ill.

You returned to Jungkook out front, taking off and hanging up your apron.

“How is he?” Jungkook asked.

“Not so good. I think I need to go back and keep an eye on him. You okay to finish up on your own?”

“No problem, we’ve only got an hour til closing anyway. Go take care of him.” Jungkook shooed you towards your apartment with a smirk.

You frowned at him. “What’s that supposed to mean? What’s with your face?” you asked, spinning to face him.

“I have no idea what you mean,” he answered innocently as he pushed you through the door.

You rolled your eyes, but ignored him. As quickly as you could you warmed up Yoongi’s tea, helping him sit up so he could drink it. The medication seemed to be taking affect, his eyelids getting heavy and his speech a little slurred. Yoongi was cooking you alive these last couple nights in his attempts to stay warm so you changed into a tank top and some sleep shorts. He handed you his now empty mug and you set it aside before crawling under the covers next to him. He immediately curled into you, wrapping his arms around your waist, tangling your legs together, and tucking his face into your neck just below your jaw.

He hummed contentedly when you wrapped your arms around him and stroked his hair and ears. You laid like that for a moment, his breathing slow and hot against your neck. You actively tried to not think about how his body was pressed up against yours, or how soft his lips felt brushing up against your throat with every intake of breath.

It was going okay until his lips pressed against your skin with a little more force. You stiffened a bit. He was asleep though, didn’t even know what he was doing. You brushed his hair away from his face and scratched his back.

“Yoon?” you said softly, hoping he’d wake up a little. Instead, he pressed his lips to your neck again, and this time you felt the slight brush of his teeth as he placed an open mouthed kiss over your pulse. A gasp escaped your lips as the kisses became stinging. What the hell? Was he just biting you?

“Yoongi!” you yelped, pulling away from him a little. He whined and moved after you. His large hands gripped the soft flesh of your hips and pulled you back to him, continuing to kiss your collarbone in a way that was sure to leave bruises. This was a cat thing, right? Jimin bit you once when he got a little too chilled out while you played with his hair. Yoongi wasn’t even conscious right now; didn’t even know what he was doing. The boy in question hummed happily, a purr rumbling through his chest as he settled in, warm and safe in his medicated haze. Your fingers gripped the back of his sweater tighter as you felt his tongue peek out to soothe the marks he’d made.

It seemed that every time you tried to escape his grasp you only made your situation worse. If you could really call it that. Part of you, a pretty big part in fact, was enjoying this. After a couple more attempts to detach yourself from the groggy cat, you gave up, holding him close and trying to ignore the heat that rushed through you as his hands kneaded at your hips.

After what felt like hours he finally fell still, purrs fading to the silent, steady breaths of sleep. Once you were sure he was out you managed to escape him and quickly fled to the living room. You glanced at the mirror by the door and ran your fingers through your hair, pulling it aside to evaluate the state of your neck. Yep, he definitely left some marks. You were going to have to pull out a turtleneck or a scarf to wear for work tomorrow. Grabbing a hair tie off the end table, you tied your hair into a messy bun. It was way too hot in your apartment all of a sudden, so you went to the kitchen and opened the window. As you got started on dinner you found your thoughts drifting back to the man in the next room. Shaking the image from your head, you grabbed your laptop and put on a show on Netflix.

You took some soup into Yoongi and got him to finish a whole bowl before he passed out again. After putting away the leftovers you grabbed a hoodie, then crawled back under the covers with him. Again, he clung to you like he was magnetized. You were cooking in the sweatshirt, but at least you weren’t at risk of a heart attack with Yoongi’s drugged-up mischief. His grabby hands kneading at your body and the brush of his thumbs over the bare flesh where your top rode up were still very distracting though. Needless to say, you didn’t sleep much.

The next morning you woke up from an hour or so of dozing and got up to get ready for the day. You were soaked in sweat from too many layers and the anxiety of a needy cat glued to you the whole night. You took a shower and tied your wet hair into a bun, not wanting to wake Yoongi with a hair dryer. You tried to be quiet as you rummaged through your closet and pulled out a black turtleneck top with tank sleeves. Not exactly spring fashion, but it covered the marks on your neck. You paired it with a black pencil skirt and your comfortable flats, did your makeup and slipped out of the apartment into the cafe.

Jimin was already waiting at the door. As usual, he slipped through the door and immediately wrapped you in a hug, nuzzling into you. He pulled away and looked you over, a brow raised.

“What?” you asked, returning the questioning look.

“You smell like Yoongi-hyung. Like, even more than usual.”

“Of course I smell like him. He’s sick, so he’s been glued to me trying to stay warm.”

Jimin smirked, but didn’t press the issue.

You went about your normal routine for the morning. It was a Friday, so most of your customers were commuters hurrying to work, leaving the shop relatively empty once the rush faded. At around noon Taehyung and Jungkook stopped by. They had the afternoon off so they agreed to come and stay with Yoongi for you. Movie night was still on, provided Yoongi was feeling up to it. Both boys hurried behind the counter to greet you, and they reacted similarly to how Jimin had. Tae sniffed at the collar of your turtleneck suspiciously.

“Oh my god!” he cried as he pulled away. He looked at the other two for agreement. Jimin chuckled, while Jungkook blushed and looked away. Tae reached for your shirt collar and tugged it down a little. “Oh my god!” he shouted again. Jimin burst out laughing and Jungkook blushed even redder, if that was even possible, when they saw the marks on your neck.

“I told you,” Jimin said. “You owe me twenty bucks.”

“For what?” you asked, already not liking where this was going. “What were you betting on?”

“When you and Yoongi-hyung would get together,” Taehyung said. “I thought you’d take at least another month to figure it out.”

“I didn’t bet, noona,” Jungkook said, but even he was smiling mischievously. “But I am happy for you.”

“What are you talking about? Me and Yoongi aren’t together.”

“Noona,” Tae whined. “Come on. You can’t hide it from hybrids. We know he’s the one who marked you.” He nodded at your neck.

You scoffed. “These? He was barely conscious from the cold medicine I gave him last night. He didn’t even know what he was doing.”

The boys looked at you, incredulous. “You can’t be serious,” Jimin said.

“Of course I’m serious. There’s nothing going on between Yoongi and me! And never will be. I don’t look at him that way. Don’t make things weird,” you scolded. The boys glanced over your shoulder and you turned as you heard the kitchen door bang shut. You just caught the back of a blond head disappearing back to the apartment. You looked back to the boys with a deer-in-headlights expression.

“Well, s***,” Jungkook said, accurately expressing your feelings at that moment. “You should go talk to him.”

Mind racing, you followed Yoongi.

“Yoon?” you said as you entered the apartment. He had his shoes and jacket on, standing by the door. “Hey, where are you going? You’re still sick, you shouldn’t be going out.”

“I’m fine, noona. Just need some air.”

You approached him slowly. “What’s going on? Is something wrong? Was it something I said? I really don’t want things to be uncomfortable between us.”

“No, it’s nothing you said. It’s me. I’m such an idiot. I’ve been so stupid.” He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it anxiously.

“What? No. No, sweetheart. You haven’t done anything-”

“I thought- I actually believed-” Cut himself off with a quiet, bitter laugh. It wasn’t malicious; it was empty, as if all the soul had drained out of him. “Stupid.”

And with that, he turned the handle and stepped outside, the door clicking shut behind him. You stood for a moment, dazed, then ran to the door. You slipped on your shoes and hurried after him, but by the time you stepped onto the street he was already out of sight. You ran to the street corner, scanning for his blonde hair and black ears, then ran to the other when you didn’t see him. He was gone. You ran a hand through your hair and returned to the apartment.

A quick once over of the place revealed that he took his phone and his wallet. That, at least, was a relief. Jungkook poked his head through the door.

“Everything okay?” he asked uncertainly.

“He’s gone. Said he needed some air and then he just ran off,” you said.

Jungkook cursed again. “Why’d you have to say that, noona?”

“What are you talking about? Do you know what’s wrong? If you do you’d better tell me right now!” Your voice was rising as you started to panic. What had you said. What if Yoongi didn’t come back. “He kept saying he was stupid, that it was his fault. What did I say? Why is he so upset?”

“Noona, I love you,” Tae chimed in, emerging from the door behind Jungkook. “But you are an idiot sometimes.”

“Tae, this isn’t funny-” you cried

“He’s in love with you,” Tae said. His face showed that he was entirely serious.

“What? No, he isn’t,” you said.

“Why are you arguing this? You love him too,” Jungkook said.

“Of course I love him! But he can’t know that. You didn’t tell him, did you?” The boys looked at you, clearly confused. “I never want him to feel like he owes me anything. He doesn’t have romantic feelings for me, and that’s okay.”

Jungkook groaned, clearly getting frustrated. “For someone with so many hybrids in their family, you really have no clue. The way he treats you, touches you, looks at you; that’s how we treat our mate. He clearly chose you months ago.”

You blinked, not comprehending. “I-”

“Marks like that,” Taehyung added, pointing at your neck. “It’s instinct. He wanted other guys to know that you guys belong to each other. The medication might’ve made him brave enough to do it, but he definitely meant it.”

“Oh god. I’ve gotta call him.” You pulled out your phone and dialed his number. It rang and rang and rang before finally going to voicemail. The second time, you only got one ring before it went straight to voicemail. “He rejected the call,” you said. Tears were gathering in your eyes. “What do I do?”

The boys looked at each other, obviously worried. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” Tae tried to reassure you, but his tone only made you worry more.

You sent at least a dozen texts begging Yoongi to pick up, but he didn’t even read them. You called Namjoon, and he hurried over immediately after he got off work. All the guys arrived for your movie night, but Yoongi still wasn’t home. It was getting dark and you truly started to panic. What if someone hurt him? You thought back to that night you found him, beaten and terrified, in the alley behind the cafe. You all sat around the table trying to think of a way to reach him. The guys all tried calling him, but he rejected all of their calls too.

“Wait a second!” You all jumped as Jungkook suddenly spoke. “What kind of phone does he have, noona?”

“The same as mine,” you said, holding up your phone.

“You’re on the same family plan, right?” he continued. You nodded. “We can use find my phone on your device to track his.”

You unlocked the phone and shoved it into his hands. He worked quickly, pulling up the app and pinging Yoongi’s phone. A minute later, you had a dot on the map where his phone supposedly was.

“Someone should wait here, in case he comes back,” you said. Jin, Hoseok, and Tae volunteered to stay. You, Jimin, and Jungkook followed Namjoon and piled into his car. He drove as you used the little dot on your map to direct him. It led you a couple blocks away, near the park Yoongi liked to take walks in. You opened the door and jumped out before the car was even totally stopped. Ignoring Namjoon’s scolding, you looked around frantically calling Yoongi’s name.

“He isn’t here!” you cried. “Is this thing wrong?”

“Maybe, or maybe he dropped his phone. Let’s look around a bit,” Jungkook suggested. You spread out, scanning the sidewalk and looking under benches for Yoongi’s phone.

“Over here!” Jimin called a moment later. You ran to where he stood, holding a phone. You looked the device over.

“It’s his,” you confirmed. The screen was cracked, but when you checked the lock screen it was a picture from your movie night several weeks ago. “But this isn’t right. He takes such good care of his stuff. And you should’ve seen his face when I got him this. Even if he dropped it, he’d never just lose it.” You looked around the surrounding shadows of the park, calling out for Yoongi again. Namjoon looked around as well, eyes settling on the convenience store across the street.

“This spot should be on that security camera.” He pointed. “Maybe we can see which way he went from here.”

You nodded, already stepping to cross the street. Jungkook caught your arm, stopping you from stepping out before you checked for traffic.

“Noona, careful!” he said as a car passed a moment later. You pulled your arm free and glanced both ways before darting across the road. You burst into the convenience store and made a b-line for the register. The cashier looked confused and a little terrified as you blurted out your request.

“Do you have the recordings from that camera?”

“What…? I mean, yeah. Why?” the young man asked.

“We’re looking for a hybrid.” Namjoon stepped forward and placed a hand on your shoulder. “We found his phone across the way.” He pointed to the spot. “Your camera should’ve caught him, right?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to just show you…” he hesitated.

“Please,” you begged simply. The boy must’ve seen the desperation in your eyes. Either that, or he thought you were hot. Regardless, he relented and waved you toward the back room.

“Alright, but if my manager hears about this I’ll deny it.” You frowned, wondering how he’d deny it since this whole exchange was on the indoor cctv, but you opted not to point out this flaw in his plan. You and Namjoon crowded into the small back room as the cashier opened the video file and stepped aside for you to watch.

Starting from a few hours prior you watched the tape in fast forward, people zooming by in either direction on the sidewalk.

“Wait!” you cried. Namjoon stopped the video, jumping back a few frames and playing it at regular speed. You watched as Yoongi slouched into frame, head down, hands in his pockets. His blond hair stuck up at odd angles. He hadn’t fixed it after he woke up that afternoon. He sat heavily on the bench where you found his phone, dropping his head in his hands. His shoulders shook and your heart broke because you knew he was crying. After a moment he sat up and just stared into space, head leaned back to look up at the sky.

A black car pulled into the frame, stopping just in front of Yoongi’s spot on the sidewalk. Your blood ran cold as you recognized the man who emerged from the rear passenger-side door.

“Oh god, no,” you breathed.

“What is it? You recognize this guy?” Namjoon asked. The man on screen walked over and Yoongi visibly tensed as he spoke. He glanced at the guy, then immediately trained his eyes on the pavement. They seemed to have a conversation, Yoongi’s side of things mostly consisting of nods and head shakes. The man gripped Yoongi’s shoulder, and he winced away from the touch. After another moment of conversation Yoongi stood and the man guided him toward the car. Yoongi hunched in on himself, trying to make himself as small as possible, as if he could disappear from the situation altogether. But he didn’t, instead he let the man guide him into the car, and drive away.

“That was Kwon Hyunjoong. Yoongi’s old owner.” A sob tore from your throat before you could stop it and you were left gasping for air in the tiny security room.

#yoongi fanfic #bts fanfic #suga fanfic #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #hybrid!au #cafe!au #hybrid!yoongi #yoongi x reader #min yoongi #suga #bts #bts suga #bts yoongi

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starbuck09256 · 4 years

Text

Hold my Hand

Season 4 up til Redux

Fictober day 2! Tagging @today-in-fic

She isn’t sure when it starts sometime in those first few years they start to walk after dinner. Not a run like they would do in the morning but a walk around the block or down the street. They usually talk about the case, sometimes plans that Scully has for the weekend. Sometimes Mulder talks about downed ufo’s that Scully tries to prove are russian subs. Either way the walks give them both a sense of peace about everything. They help Scully feel less guilty about drinking almost all of Mulder’s chocolate shake. This night she is bundled up and the cold air swirls the soft snow around them. She starts to slip and Mulder catches her, he grins shyly helping her up, but she takes his hand interlacing their fingers and holds his arm. He chuckles and keeps her close. The next night as they are finally wrapping up the case an early flight beckons them. She grabs his hand right out the door. He interlaces their fingers, it’s so nice. The next day when they fly home and she falls asleep against his shoulder he thinks of her warm hand in his. When the next case takes them to a warmer climate he feels a sadness knowing she won’t take his hand. But as they walk down the street to the neighborhood diner, the falling leaves of gold and red he reaches to her taking her hand. She stops, and he chides himself for being forward. But then she gives him that cute shy smile and squeezes his hand continuing on.

Then everything changes, first there is Jerse and his anger. Their fights aren’t the same intellectual battles they used to be, she has done the research and looked into his ideas. She comes now armed with her own articles, her normal arguments now fueled with even more facts. He isn’t mad that she has found more information, hell if anything he is more impressed by her every day, but now it seems she disregards some things he says, and in truth he does the same. They aren’t listening like they used to, they are waiting for their turn to make their own case. They stop holding hands on walks, stop touching as much as before, and he misses it, and so does she. The reassurance about what they mean to one another is lost in the silence. They have lost the path together, he feels betrayed by her actions, and she feels angry that he thinks he can lay claim to her when all he has done is brushed the chance of them together off.

As she starts to wonder what she really wants fate twists it's cruel head at her. Reminds her of the women she met not so long ago and the warning they prophesied. Here she is in a big fluffy robe and hair matted to her sweat slick skin. She writes the words that she has wanted to say, that she loves him but in the elegant way he tells her that he loves her. Not forthcoming but as a truth that has always been there. She’s not sure when she hasn’t loved him. When they first met maybe but then he heard her out, listened to her ideas, made her challenge herself and basked in the reverence of her intellect. Mulder and his tantalizing cases and far fetched theories that somehow prove right. He’s there again telling her not to give up and in her soul she knows he won’t. That if there was ever a chance at redemption for her, he would find it and hand it to her at the last second. He holds her hand now, in cars on planes. Kisses her palm rubs her shoulders and back at the end of the day. But they don’t walk as much, she is so exhausted from chemo and the illness that ravages her body. She no longer steals his milkshake or sneaks a fry. She pushes around the sad lettuce on her plate and can’t even stomach finishing a full cup of coffee.

He starts to worry more and more as blood seeps out of her nose, she turns in at 7 instead of 9. When he notices that she stops packing her running clothes in her overnight bag. He sees her suits hanging off her too thin body, the deep creases in her cheeks. His strong capable friend withering away behind a clever concealer and fake smile hidden behind wadded blood stained tissues. He knows what he has done, the things he has taken for granted in his life. How he has shouted at the heavens when he could have been protecting people from hell right here on the ground. How his talent and relentlessness has been focused on the intangible when reality is right in front of him screaming about injustice. Now he doesn’t see the clouds or the skies, he sees tears from eyes deep as the sea. He sees blood the same crimson as her hair, he hears her staggering breath after she chases down a suspect, he feels her falling asleep beside him in the middle of the day and knows how desperately she wishes to be awake. To bask in these last few months with him. His soldier, while they fight still seeking out answers and hope against the world that a cure is out there, he feels her slipping away from him. He’s never felt a fear like it in his life. Not when Samantha went over the bridge, not when Scully shot him. Not when he was sure both of them would die in that shower with those psycho cult members. Now he can’t help himself and doesn’t want to. He starts to grab her hand, the cold clammy fingers aren’t like before. He starts to stay far too late in her room so he can fall asleep beside her. She is too tired to bother trying to kick him out. He brings her small coffees and extra water, tissues and trinkets. Calls them a birthday gift and even wraps one. He regrets never celebrating her birth, for how could you forget to celebrate the birth of the person who finally made you feel alive?

When he breaks into her place finds her stripping in the dark. He does want to see, wants to see all of her before she is gone. But he doesn’t want it like this and he knows she doesn’t either. He sleeps next to her that night wraps himself tightly around her and she burrows herself even closer in his arms. He finds himself kissing her hair with tears running down his face, he traces the red marks on her paler than normal skin and she kisses him with chapped lips that still tingle. They don’t do more but hold each other kissing softly while they talk. He admits to being in love with her, she admits that she knows and wishes they had been stronger for each other earlier. Stronger enough to believe that they could make it work with their own work.

He tells her how he hated seeing her in the hospital in Philadelphia. She tells him that she cried out his name when she was with Jerse. His body deflates and he squeezes her tight. In the morning when she goes to the hearing he gives her a long kiss goodbye. He bites his lip as he hears the door click and moves to go through every file they have all the way back to 92.

When she doesn’t come home after the hearing he starts to freak out. What happened? Did she change her mind about the plan? Was kissing her at the end of it all really the way to get her to leave? To expose them? Are they on their way here now to charge him with murder? With falsified evidence? With a variety of other charges in which he is most certainly guilty. But then no one comes back, not even her and true panic sets in. Did they already arrest her? Is she sitting in a prison cell already with blood leaking out of her nose as she stares at a wall contemplating her own demise? He calls the only people who can help him, and after 20 minutes what little breath he had left in him evaporates into her home. The home she may never ever come back too.

#fictober20 #mulder and scully #season 4 angst #msr #some fluff #hope you enjoyed it #feel free to reblog #myfic #xfiles

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hieludoboi · 4 years

Text

A List of Things I’d Like to do With You (Pt 2/9)

A/n- This is still going to be a lil sad, but not as bad. This first escapade isn’t that detailed, but lemme tell you, the next one, I plan on making people cry :3

Links to parts 1 and 3- Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

A/n- Ight I lied, the beginning of this is going to be pretty sad :(

This one was pretty long and for some reason took forever to write! But anyways, here’s your reminder to please send in requests, I love doing them and they always get my brain going!

Trigger Warnings- Vomit, blood, depictions of terminal illness, underage drinking, a little suggestive, cemetery, crying, just v sad, please proceed with caution :(

Pairing- Daichi/Fem!Reader

Summary- Though she was in pain, he had never known. Because her list had been made.

She felt numb. A routine appointment landed her in the hospital. Her stomach was coursing with this unimaginable pain, rippling from her abdomen up to her spine. Were stomach aches supposed to give you headaches? God this felt like the worst hangover of her life. As she groaned and curled up on the hospital bed, her body jolted forward. In an instant her mother was holding her hair back, her father holding a bag to her open mouth. She could feel the heaves rack her body, stripping her of oxygen, constricting her lungs and stomach.

She had stayed like that for what seemed like ages, her body hunched over a bag of sick while her mother rubbed her back. Her body trembled, face sickly and pale. When had it gotten this bad? When had it started? Why had she kept this to herself until now? What if it was terminal, what if it could have been treated if she came in when it had started.

Y/n managed to sob between heaves, her hands shaking as she wrapped her arms around her middle. Was it second year? Was that when the unimaginable stomach aches began? Or was that when her drastic weight loss began to eat away at her body? Y/n gagged as tightly squeezed her mother’s hand, the metallic taste of blood coating her mouth, the sounds of her mother’s cries ringing around her ears.

It all happened in a blur, the tests, the scans, the somber talks of treatments, and lifespan. It was stomach cancer, stage four, and terminal. While her parents sobbed, Y/n sat still. Terminal? Stomach cancer? How? Why? She was supposed to graduate this year, watch the boys go to finals, watch them win nationals. She still had to grow old with Daichi, get married, start a family where Suga was the godfather, and the second years the uncles. She still hadn’t gotten her first sip of alcohol, or done any drugs, she still hadn’t told Daichi that she loved him.

It wasn’t until her parents calmed down that she finally broke. She was going to die in 5 months, maybe sooner. How had she not noticed? She was getting thinner, her stomach pain had caused her to faint, she was vomiting every other day and could barely eat. How had she not noticed? Why did she put it off?

She went home that afternoon with a bag of medicines in her hand. There was no way they could treat it until it was gone, but they could give her medicine to keep the pain and symptoms at bay. Her mother entered the house with a dull look in her eyes, her father headed straight for their bedroom. It made her feel angry in a fucked up way. She was the one who was going to die, so why were they acting like they were going to die?

With teary eyes trudged to her room, gently sitting on the edge of her bed. There was still so much she wanted to do. So many escapades, and only five months to do them. She forced herself to smile when she sat at her desk. She was going to be happy these last few months. She was going to go to every game, she was going to hang out with Daichi every day, she was going to make a list of things she’s like to do with Daichi and complete it before her time came to an end. With a completed list, she looked towards the words at the bottom.

“Number eight. Get drunk with Daichi.” Y/n nodded her head as she read the first things off the list. She’d be damned if she left before getting properly shitfaced. The thought of getting drunk scared her just a little bit, but if she was Daichi, she was bound to be okay. No matter what, she was going to make sure that he made only good memories with her before she left.

Daichi had stared at his phone in amusement for about two minutes now. Y/n had sent him a photo of her posing in front of her mother’s liquor cabinet. She wanted to get shitfaced is what she told Daichi. Not expecting to actually get drunk, Daichi had made his way to her home. Living in the same neighborhood had come with major perks when it came to situations like these.

Daichi knew the type of person she was. In some way she was like Noya, a fiery, energetic, do now think later type of person. Still, knowing who she was could not prepare Daichi for the ungodly amount of bottles on the kitchen table. She was serious?

“You were serious?” Daichi stared at the table in disbelief before locking eyes with Y/n who had a closed-eyed grin on her face. “Y/n, I came to hang out, not get hammered. You’re going to turn eighteen in what, half a year? We can wait til then.” Daichi tried reasoning, but it was then that he saw this look cross her face in a fraction of a second.

Y/n could feel the breath get caught in her throat. If she were lucky, she could enjoy almost five whole months. The doctors were being generous, but it was more likely that she’d be gone in the next three months. Y/n bit her lip and looked at the table of liquor, hoping that he hadn’t caught the grim look that flashed across her face. She didn’t have enough time, but how could she explain that to him?

“Daichi, with the career I want, I won’t have time to get hammered! I want to be reckless and live my life while I can! I’m not going to wait until I’m thirty-seven with a stable job, a nice home, a big family, and a husband to act like I’m seventeen!” Daichi chuckled, shaking his head in amusement before joining her at the table stacked of liquor.

“Alright. I guess you’ve got a point. So, how are we doing this?” Daichi asked as he grabbed one of the glass bottles, opening it and taking a sniff before recoiling at the strong smell. Y/n giggled before grabbing the bottle from him and setting it back on the table.

“Easiest way is to play a drinking game! So let’s pick a show and set up some rules.” Daichi nodded, grinning at the ‘serious expression’ on her face. While she busied herself in finding a show and picking some rules, Daichi stayed in the kitchen, sifting through bottles and shot glasses. She was acting strange, something wasn’t right. She felt dim, a bit cold, and far too serious. Daichi bit his bottom lip, staring at the bottle of Bacardi that sat on the table before him. He was going to figure out what was wrong. He just had to figure out how.

“Daichi! You got the bottles picked out yet?” He jumped back a bit, her voice suddenly breaking him out of his thoughts. Quickly, he grabbed a random five bottles and two shot glasses that resembled cups more than shots. He set them on the coffee table, arranging them before sinking into the couch, his arm wrapping around Y/n’s waist, pulling her snug into his side. He watched with a smile as she cuddled into his side, a soft smile on her lips while she leaned into his touch.

He stared at her lips as she animatedly talked about the drinking game and the show she had picked out. Daichi heard none of it though, he was trapped by the movement of her soft lips, pleasantly focused on the little shine of light that her recently applied lip balm seemed to reflect. He could kiss her right now, hold her face in his hands, melt against her lips, be enveloped by the warmth and light her body endlessly created.

“Got it?” Daichi blinked, his eyes darting back up to see the silly smile spread across her face. Daichi could feel the blush begin to spread across his cheeks, but he ignored it, reciprocating a smile before filling up their shot glasses with some Jose Cuervo. “Ready?” Y/n had this glint in her eyes as she picked up her shot glass, her body buzzing with chaotic energy. Daichi nodded, picking up his glass and clinking it with her glass before downing the shot. Y/n giggled as Daichi winced, poking fun at the faces he was making before downing the shot in a less than graceful fashion. -------------------------------------------------- Her throat had become numb with each shot of tequila, her mind pulling blanks whenever Daichi would drunkenly ask her a question. At this point, she couldn't tell if she was nauseous because of all the alcohol in her system or because of sick that was prodding at her esophagus. Still, she carried on, downing shot after shot of burning liquor.

When she looked to her left, Daichi was hiccuping, giggling at the sounds that tumbled from his lips. She was focused on the way the liquor coated his lips, making them shine in the dim living room light. They looked pretty, just a little pink, and the slightest bit puffy. Maybe it was liquor, maybe it was the illness, or maybe it was just because of how hard she was focused on his lips, but in seconds she was rushing to the bathroom. Even in her drunken state, she managed to close and lock the door. No matter what, she was going to make sure Daichi didn't know.

It was the same as always, her hands would grip onto the edge of the toilet seat until her fingers became a sickly grey. Her body would tremble with heaves and gags while the sweat from her forehead would drip into her tired eyes. As soon as she would finish she would stand and stare at herself in the mirror, admiring the way the blood tainted and stained her quivering lips. It was funny to her, the way she managed to find some crooked beauty in the illness that was stripping the life from her body with each second that passed. It was routine, no matter how grizzly it felt and looked. So with a sigh, she finished her grizzly routine and trudged back to the couch where Daichi had fallen into a slumber of liquor. ---------------------- How many shots had they had? Y/n couldn’t tell anymore. Daichi was seated next to her, drunkenly giggling at everything that happened on the tv before him. His speech was slurred, his smile crooked and his eyes drooping just a bit. In her drunken state, Daichi appeared like some greek sex god, perfectly chiseled with a beautiful sheen coating his lips. Maybe it was the alcohol but she went from horny to sad in two seconds.

“Man, can you believe I’m going to die a virgin?” Y/n slurred, hiccuping between some words. At that moment, it was like the alcohol began to drain from his system. Daichi sat up from his previously slouched position, the haze in his eyes clearing as he turned to look at Y/n who was practically a starfish on the couch. Was this what she had been worrying about? Dying a virgin? Why would she die a virgin? She still had plenty of years waiting for her.

“What do you mean? You’ve got plenty of years to look for that one person.” Daichi tilted his head, his eyes widening as she practically threw herself on top of him. Her head was resting in the crook of his neck, her arms wrapping around his body. Daichi gently wrapped his arms around her, almost flinching when the first few hot tears fell onto his bare neck. Was it the alcohol? Did something happen?

“Please... Please just tell me you’ll be here until the end, please just tell me it’s going to be okay...” He could feel the way her body trembled against his, her hands balling the material of his shirt into her fists. He could hear the shaky breaths and stutters that would escape from her lips. Had he missed something? Did the liquor screw her over that bad? Although that sudden confession had sobered him up a bit, the murky haze of tequila still fogged his mind.

"Of course I’m gonna be here until the end. We’re friends until the end, remember? No matter what happens we’ll be together, always.” His hand gently rested atop her head, his other hand rubbing her back to soothe the ache that radiated from her chest. “I’ll always be by your side, okay? As long as the sun rises and sets, I’ll be here.” Daichi whispered, his lips pressing against the top of her head, watching with a tender gaze as she fell asleep. --------------------------------------------------- When Y/n woke up she was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. Daichi was gone and the bottles and shot glasses were put away in their cabinet. When she looked at the coffee table she saw a yogurt drink and fruit sandwich, a snack that Daichi would often leave her when he had to leave early for whatever reason. She could feel a smile forming on her face as she tossed the blanket to the side, stretching her arms above her head before reaching to grab the drink. Before her fingers could even brush against the pink bottle, she felt a sudden burst of nausea ram her head and throat. She stood as quickly as she could, her legs doing their best to rush her to the restroom.

She felt her knees hit the cold bathroom floor, her body practically folding in on itself. Her throat was burning, the bitter taste of vomit mixing with the metallic taste of blood as her mouth hung open. Tears dripped from her cheeks before hitting the curve of the toilet seat mixing in with stray droplets of blood and sick. Her body fell back, hitting the bathroom wall and jolting her from her nauseous trance. With trembling hands, she wiped the sick from her mouth. She was crying, the sting of her throat, and the terrible ache in her stomach becoming unbearable. She stayed on the floor like that for a good minute, trying her hardest to catch her breath, but it felt like fire rushing her throat with each breath she took.

She sobbed as she grabbed onto the edge of the sink, forcing herself to stand no matter how badly her aching body protested. All she had to do was stand and open the medicine cabinet, that’s all she had to do and she could finally rest. Her hands gripped onto the edge of the sink with such force that her knuckles began to pale. Each breath she took rattled her bones, the wheezing becoming much more prominent the longer she held herself up. She couldn’t tell if it was her body recoiling from her illness or if it was her body rejecting the copious amount of alcohol she drank. The doctor did warn her to not take alcohol with her medication, but what did she have to lose right? It was times like these that Y/n was convinced that her parents feared her death more than her.

She of course understood why they felt broken, they were going to lose their daughter, but it should have been all the more reason to make these last few months count. Y/n shook her head as she grabbed her bottles of pills from the cabinet. She was going to make sure she kept her pain under control. No one had to know what was going on with her, she didn’t want people to treat her differently just because she was on the cusp of death.

She could see it now, people being especially nice to her, everyone being careful of what they say to her, Daichi, Suga, and Asahi tending to her every need. It wasn’t something she wanted to live with, after all, she was a prideful person and pity didn’t sit right with her. She was almost too weak to twist the top, her muscles aching as she strained to open the bottle. It's okay, Y/n thought to herself, a sad smile on her lips.

She had trudged to her room almost immediately after taking her pills, her body collapsing against the firm mattress. Maybe it wasn’t healthy, the fact that she didn’t think about it. Maybe she should have paid attention to it, but who wanted to think about their impending death? And so with a depressive sigh, she let her body sink into the cradling arms of sleep, her mind nestling deep into her future escapades with Daichi.

“Number 7, spend a night stargazing.” ------------------------------- Daichi had been anything but focused during practice. At this point, he had run more laps than Noya and Tanaka combined and had done the most dives out of everyone on the team. He was missing passes left and right, consistently coming in short on one thing or another. Though perhaps, what scared his teammates the most was the empty look in his eyes. Had something happened? “Noya.” They were putting away equipment when Daichi spoke. His voice and words hung heavy in the air, dragging enough to weigh down clouds. Noya turned abruptly, his eyes wide. “What’s that one joke about never losing you, Tanaka, and Y/n make all the time?” Daichi questioned, his eyes focused on the handle of the mop in his hands.

“I’m gonna die a virgin, cause I ain’t ever lose, why?” Noya stared at Daichi, desperately awaiting a response from his out of character captain. Daichi could feel his eyebrows furrow as his mind began to race. Was he looking too deep into it?

Daichi pondered the same thing over and over again while laying on his bed. Y/n was a silly person, there wasn’t a day that went by where one stupid joke after another burst from her lips. Maybe he just missed the joke?

--------------------

Daichi sighed as he turned onto his side, his eyes locking onto the evergrowing stack of polaroids that sat on his desk. It had become an unintentional tradition. Every year they would take a trip and on that trip, they would always take a photo. She was always beaming in those photos, her smile as radiant as ever. She was herself in those photos, and Daichi couldn't help but notice that she became less and less like herself this past year. He had to be imagining it though, right? ---------------------------------- Suga stared at Daichi with sad eyes. He looked happy, giving vague details over one of the last nights he had spent with her. Perhaps it was still too fresh, the wound of her death would not heal for a while. With time Daichi would probably be able to give more detailed descriptions, but not now. Not here.

"I find it ironic. I spent most of my life taking care of her. I spent most of my life making sure she didn't get in trouble, and even when she did, I would get her out of it." Daichi's voice was shaking, his hands balling into fists at his sides. The tears began to pool into his eyes once more, his jaw clenching. "I spent so much time taking care of her, and in the end, she was the one looking out for me. She made sure I was happy. She made sure I was sheltered. She worked so hard to build stability for us those last few months, but nothing could have prepared us for the end." Suga took a step towards Daichi, flinching as Daichi abruptly stepped back, accidentally crushing the yellow chrysanthemums that sat atop her grave.

Daichi's head snapped down, staring at the yellow flowers with anger. Yellow chrysanthemums. They meant farewell, they meant goodbye, they meant that she was gone. Why couldn't people understand that she wasn't gone? Daichi shook his head before turning to leave the cemetery. He didn't want to be there any longer.

As Daichi left, Suga stared after him, a frown tugging at his lips. Suga sighed, crouching to try and fix the flowers back onto her grave with care. It was obvious to him that Daichi still needed to heal. He just hoped it would be soon, he knew that it was probably killing her to see Daichi in such a state.

"Y'know, you always were the only one that could calm him down. I just hope you can still cast your light on him, even if just for a moment, Y/n..." Suga whispered, smiling tenderly at the plot of land covered in white and yellow flowers before making his leave as well.

#daichi #sawamura daichi #daichi sawamura #daichi x reader #daichi x y/n #sawamura daichi x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #daichi angst #sugawara koushi #koushi sugawara #sad daichi #sad haikyuu #escapades

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hashtagartistlife · 4 years

Text

Maybe fate was called fate because some things weren’t choices; some things were simply written into his DNA, woven into the very fabric of the universe. World orders. The sky is blue. The sun is hot. He is in love with Kuchiki Rukia.

Kuchiki Rukia is dying.

Ten years after the defeat of Yhwach, it’s time Ichigo and Rukia started facing some truths— about the world, about themselves, and about each other.

this is all i have of this fic for now (this and a tiny little bit of chapter 3), i guess it’ll be updated when i woman the fuck up and wrack up enough nerves to keep writing which im hoping will be sometime this decade :’/ but i might post chapters i have for other unfinished fics i have over the next few days so if you’re into unfinished fics (read: literally nobody) then stick around!!!

premise for this fic | chapter 1 here | this is chapter 2

________________________________________________________________

f r a y

by hashtagartistlife

________________________________________________________________

Two

9:12 am

Kurosaki Clinic

When Renji wakes up the next morning to find Rukia safely asleep beside him, he feels the tension across his shoulders ease somewhat. They’d both been a little worried about how her sleepwalking habit might fit into this visit (even though neither of them had voiced their concerns out loud), he more so than she for reasons he had yet to disclose to her. Her breathy sigh of ‘Ichigo?’ rings in his ears. He hadn’t seen a point in telling Rukia about that, not when she was still refusing to admit she had a problem in the first place. She’d just feel needlessly guilty and isolate herself even more. Renji knows how Rukia works. What he doesn’t know is how to break through that shell she builds around herself, how to draw her out of it and get her to face her problems head-on.

No, he admits (and he’d be lying if he said there wasn’t a trace of bitterness in the way he thought it), that’s always been Ichigo’s specialty. He looks across the rowdy breakfast table to his friend, who is sitting uncharacteristically silent with a mug of something dark and unappetising in his hands. His eyes are shadowed, tired, and when he meets Renji’s gaze he starts almost guiltily before curving his lips into an uneasy smile.

The hell’s all that about? Renji thinks, but then Ichika slams into his knee, shoving a glass of orange juice into his face, and he puts the moment out of his mind. The rest of the morning is filled with trying out some godawful beverage called ‘coffee’ at Orihime’s behest, wrangling Ichika into human world clothes, and sending the children off, along with their mothers, to go meet Sado. He and Ichigo stay back, Ichigo to tend to his clinic and he to go see Urahara. Since gensei visits were so few and far between, even on what was ostensibly a holiday they had been saddled with checking in on the shopkeeper to exchange news and technology. Renji figures he might as well get that out of the way first, and catch up with Sado later.

At least, he figures that until Ichigo corners him just before he walks out the door, a dark expression on his face. He looks uncomfortable, standing in the doorway of his own house, a hand on the back of his neck, and Renji notes with a kind of detached surprise that if Ichigo hadn’t been slumping, they’d be more or less at a height now. He raises an eyebrow at him in a silent question.

“A— about Rukia—” Ichigo stumbles over the syllables in her name, and stops, wetting his lips, looking nervous. A sense of foreboding settles into Renji’s gut; Ichigo hasn’t looked this worried in— well, a decade. He stays quiet, letting Ichigo finish his question. “Has she ever— has she ever sleepwalked before?”

He freezes in his tracks; frantically, Renji rewinds last night in his mind. It’s no use; he’d been out for the count for a solid eight hours. If he hadn’t been so tired lately, he’d have thought someone had spiked his drink. Try as he might, he can’t remember Rukia slipping out of bed at all. But she’d been back in bed by the morning, so someone must have intercepted her—

Ichigo. Rukia’s voice, ghostly in his mind, calling his name. Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo—

His breath leaves him in a long, long sigh, and Renji closes his eyes before gesturing for Ichigo to sit.

6:53 am

Ichigo doesn’t go back to his bed after the kiss. Instead he sits outside the clinic, on the cold hard asphalt, for one eternity— two— til the sun starts lightening the end of the street and the moon grows paler in the sky. He can still feel Rukia on his skin, in his veins, lingering like a drug that refuses to clear. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be empty of her touch now that he’s known it.

When the moon finally disappears and the sun well and truly risen, he picks himself up from the ground and stumbles back into the house, feeling like he was the sleepwalker now. The sight of their children sprawled out together in their blanket fort brings the reality of what he’s done rushing back to him. He can’t help the reflex that brings his fingers up to ghost over his lips, like a lovesick teenager. The breath leaves his lungs like he’s been punched, and he turns away from the kids, sleeping angelically side-by-side. He can’t bear the thought of facing either of them, of facing anyone in this household any more.

What does he do now? Does he go back to bed, pretend nothing ever happened— slip into his place beside Orihime and forget the fact that his heart is beating again for the first time in ten years? Does he come clean to her and beg forgiveness, tell her he loves her and it won’t ever happen again, or does he lock this away in a dark recess of his mind, just like he’s done with his shinigami powers and everything related to her for the last decade? His mind casts around frantically for excuses — he was tired. It was the middle of the night. Hell, he doesn’t even know if it really happened anymore — was everything a fever dream, triggered by the immense relief of seeing Rukia again? But his blood is thrumming in his veins, and the power he’d spent his entire adult life crushing down is once again swirling and eddying just under his skin, exactly like it had when he was seventeen. His hands are shaking, and his skin feels hot. He can’t lie to himself. Rukia was here. Rukia’d kissed him. He’d kissed her back.

He drags his trembling hands over his eyes, down his face; slumps into a chair in the kitchen and attempts to evade the question that becomes more pressing with every second. What now? It was clear that Rukia had no idea what had happened. The weight of this transgression was his alone to carry. Even if she had remembered, the fault lay with him— she’d been asleep, but he’d been wide awake and had pulled her towards him.

A part of him— the good part, the noble part, the part that had once forced its way through layers of hollow to tell his zanpakutou to fuck off out of his fight with Byakuya— is yelling at him to confess, to lay himself at Orihime’s mercy and take whatever comes from it. But a larger, more insistent part of him is asking, for what? What does telling Orihime accomplish, but the breaking of four hearts? He has never deserved Orihime, with her soft smiles and kind words to his rough edges; the fact that he is, once again, an awful person to her— for her— is not news. What is the point of ruining her spun-sugar smile with something that will never happen again—

liar

—especially when it doesn’t just involve him? If he confesses, it’s not just his head on the line; it’s Rukia’s, too, no matter the fact that she was asleep at the time. And he might be willing to risk everything he ever is or was for far less than this, but there is no way in hell he will do that to Rukia. Not for some one-off sleepwalking incident that she had no control over, and if it happens again he’ll just push her away—

liar

— and oh, god, was this a thing that happened often? Rukia’d always been a deep sleeper; she was, despite everything she insisted to the contrary, very clearly not okay if she was sleepwalking like this.

As his thoughts spiral back to the cause of his turmoil, Ichigo becomes acutely aware of her reiatsu upstairs, thrumming rapidly like a hummingbird’s wings. It seems lighter and more unsettled than he remembers it being, and the tinge of instability to it as it flares and retreats irregularly unnerves him. Rukia’s reiatsu control has always been top-class, so this distinct lack of it triggers alarm bells in his mind. He swallows, and attempts to smooth down the ragged edges of her power with his; but wherever his reiatsu brushes against hers, it just flares brighter and more powerful and he has to give up, lest it disturb Renji or the kids.

It's been a while since he's felt someone else’s reiatsu like this, but he knows this isn't normal; concern eats at him even as it wars with an urge to ignore it and bury everything about this incident as deep as possible. Rukia isn’t an idiot, she would have gotten help if it was something serious—but would she, really? He knows better than anyone how stubborn she can be when she thinks she’s being a burden. She’d die before she let someone else take the fall for her.

He closes his eyes.

He scowls; ten years it’s been, and she’s still so— so— so her. Longer hair, a husband and child, a Captain’s haori, and nothing matters; she’s still stubborn, still a bitch who lives to help everyone else but won’t let anyone help her. It's evident in the way she refuses to say she’s tired, the way that Renji’s eyes follow her around everywhere, worried. She’s still the self-sacrificing idiot she’d been from day one, and he—

He is still the coward he’d been twelve years ago, when he’d watched her bleed out on the concrete before him and only then been spurred into action.

This isn’t about him. If Rukia is ill, then he has to let someone know— someone who can actually do something about it. His feelings — whatever they are— does not factor into the equation. This is about Rukia—

— so, he needs to talk to Renji.

10:18 am

“Has Rukia ever sleepwalked before?”

A moment of tension across Renji’s features, and then a long, long sigh; he gestures for Ichigo to sit, and the two of them shuffle over to the recently vacated kitchen table. Renji rubs his face tiredly, and Ichigo’s sense of foreboding grows.

“... Last night, huh?” Renji says, and Ichigo almost jumps out of his skin; did he know? Could he see— was the mark of Rukia's lips on his visible, indelible, the way it felt like to him? Could everyone read it on his face, that he and Rukia—

Renji’s voice is weary as he continues. “Yeah. Yeah, she's sleepwalked before. The past few years, actually. What did she do last night? How did you find her?”

— kissed— “She— she walked out of the clinic and I heard the door open. Renji, is she— is she okay—”

Renji leans his elbows on the table and buries his face in his hands. “I don't know,” he breathes, frustration dripping from every syllable. “I don't know, she won't tell me, you know how she is—”

Did he ever. Ichigo remembers with vivid clarity the time she'd sustained a stomach wound, back in the days before Soul Society; she hadn’t told him for three days, and had only agreed to go see Urahara when she'd finally collapsed in his arms.

“ — don't think I've tried—? God, doctors, healers, we've tried everything, Kuchiki-Taichou’s worried out of his mind. But she won't have any of it, says she won't let us waste time fussing over her when there are better things to worry about—”

“That fucking idiot,” Ichigo mutters, and Renji barks out what is almost a laugh.

“Right? Drives me up the fucking wall. Wouldn't be Rukia if she didn't.”

“Guess not.”

Renji cracks a strained smile before it fades away into seriousness again. “It wasn't this bad before,” he says, and Ichigo sits up straight.

“Recent thing, then?”

“Depends what you'd classify as recent. I mean, she's never been a heavy sleeper—”

At this, Ichigo interrupts. “Wait, really? She's always slept like the dead—”

Renji gives him a look, and Ichigo remembers who it is that is sharing her bed now. He shuts up.

“ — as I said, she's never slept too well, even during our Rukon days, and it got pretty bad after the war, but it wasn't— wasn’t to this extent, you know? At least, not till she had Ichika. And then— it was like a switch flipped. She couldn't get to sleep at night, and she could barely keep her eyes open during the day. It started interfering with her work, and you know how that would have killed her; we started to go see a bunch of people for it but nothing seemed to help. And then she started sleepwalking—”

Something cold crawls up Ichigo’s spine.

“She— at first, we didn't know where it was that she was going in her sleep. she wandered the Kuchiki Manor gardens a lot, sometimes she just paced around inside the house. Sometimes she got out of the Kuchiki property and was well into the streets before we found her and brought her back. I didn't know where she was trying to go—”

Renji breaks off, and looks Ichigo dead in the eye.

“— till one morning I woke up, and found her at Sokyouku Hill.”

Ichigo’s blood turns to ice.

“It was bloody Sokyoku Hill, Ichigo. Every single time— inside the Manor, in the gardens, on the streets. She was always trying to get to Sokyouku Hill. North-north west from the Kuchiki Manor. I—”

Renji’s expression turns supplicating, as if asking him for an answer, but Ichigo has none to give; he’s rooted to the spot by the sheer horror he’s feeling, Rukia strung up against the Sokyouku vivid in his mind. That collar around her neck, a red slash splitting her throat open; her eyes, glazed over with tears. Her skin dyed orange and yellow from the heat of it all.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her, Ichigo, for fuck’s sake I can’t even get her to admit that there’s something wrong. I just—”

Renji drops his head into his hands. Very softly — so soft that Ichigo is sure he isn’t meant to hear these next words— he says to himself:

“Ten years. Ten years, and I’m still not enough.”

Ten years. Enough to fell mountains; enough to dry rivers and move oceans.

Not enough to change a heart.

When Renji looks up at Ichigo again, his gaze is edged with steel.

“She says your name.”

“I— what?”

“She says your name, when she walks out to Sokyouku Hill. She says your name.”

A memory, in his mind: Rukia, ethereal in the moonlight. Ichigo?

Yeah. Yeah, it’s me. I’m here.

Ichigo doesn’t know what to say.

Eventually, Renji breaks their impasse; he sighs and raps the table before getting up. “I’m not such a small man as to beat you to a pulp over that, Ichigo, stop looking like you think I’m going to bite your head off.”

“I’m not—” he protests automatically, but Renji shushes him with a wave of his hand.

“You are, but that’s not the point.” He ambles over to the door and looks over his shoulder at him, one hand poised on the handle. “If— if there’s anything you might be able to do for her—”

“Renji—”

“Please,” Renji says, and even though this time, he isn’t on his knees half-dead before him, Ichigo knows what it’s costing him to make this request. “Please… help her.”

Of course, Ichigo wants to reply, She’ll be fine, I’ll save her. Rukia’ll be safe—

But he isn’t fifteen anymore.

“I’ll— try,” he says, lamely, and that is the best they can do. Renji nods.

“Gonna go see Urahara. He might have some tricks up his sleeve,” he says, but he doesn’t look like he believes what he’s saying. Ichigo waves him off, and Renji slips away.

The sound of the clinic door swinging shut echoes in his wake.

3:02 pm

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Click.

“...Hello?”

“Kurosaki-san?”

“...... Urahara-san?”

“Ah, Kurosaki-san, thank goodness you picked up. If you aren’t busy, I’d appreciate your presence at the Shoten as soon as possible.”

“What? Me? Why?”

A pause; Ichigo finds, for no good reason whatsoever, that he is holding his breath.

“Ah, well. You see, that is—”

Between one accelerating heartbeat and the next—

“Kuchiki-san has collapsed.”

#bleach #ichiruki #kurosaki ichigo #kuchiki rukia #bleach fanfic #writer life #f r a y

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creative-cha0s · 4 years

Text

Jess’ Masterlist of Prodigal Son (Mostly Brightwell) Inspo with Songs & Lyrics

HI tend to think of almost everything in connection to songs and lyrics and recently Ive got a bunch of lyrics rolling around in my head that are perfect for inspiration for Prodigal Son fics, fan art, gif sets, ect - but mostly fics (and mosty Brightwell).

Ill do my best to categorize by relationship/ character and possibly plot - and hopefully to keep this updated.

Like my music? want to listen to it too? All of these songs are in my playlist that I leave on repeat: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3pvktqRQXSUivcXpOWZGCX

Brightwell

Piece of Your Heart - Mayday Parade

This song is perfect for the both of them no matter who it’s coming from, but I always see the 1st verse (1st bullet) coming from Dani

Give me your misery All of it give it to me I can hold onto it for you It's not a problem I just want your energy A piece of that fractured mountain I'll take whatever comes with it as long as it's yours

All I know is that I want it more than yesterday If I was waiting, I was waiting for just one little spark You are the brightest I've seen You are the best side of me And just for when we're apart I've got a piece of your heart

But I want the whole damn thing

Where You Are - Mayday Parade

The song as a whole is not fitting, its about someone dying. But there are a few lines that can be used.

You to me, are encased in nothing But beauty and gracious love You'll always be my one good reason To keep on moving 'til I'm in your arms

My favorite place is wherever you are

Sleeping In - All Time Low

This song is PERFECT for well establish Brightwell - fluffy, lazy days, just ignoring the world and staying in together. Just go listen to the whole song.

Never wanna leave this bed Tell me that you got nowhere to be Can we stay all day? (All day) Lay low in our lazy luxury Sex in a rosé daze (daze) All day, it's a real good thing

Just like that There you go, making it hard to stay on track Got shit to do, you got work But we fall right back Into bed, like it's all just a game And we can't help that, no we can't help that

Favorite Place - All Time Low

Another one that’s perfect for Brightwell, mostly coming from Bright (bolded parts), this song is currently always stuck in my head. Go listen to it!

So can we close the space between us now It's the distance we don't need (hey) Yeah, you're everything I love about The things I hate in me (hey) So come on, come on, come over now and Fix me with your grace 'Cause I'm not too far and you're my favorite place

And I know you don't belong (know you don't belong) Know you don't belong to anyone No you can't be tamed love Maybe I was wrong (maybe I was wrong) Maybe I was wrong for this But you feel like the perfect escape now

Kids Again - Artist Vs Poet

Can be any phase of Brightwell I think - mostly focusing on the verses, ignoring the ‘just like we were kids’ reference in the chorus, because they didn’t grow up together. Another one to go listen to the whole song.

I know a girl who likes to drink her coffee black Cause sugar, no, she don't got time for that Leaves her desires at the welcome mat when she walks in

Yeah, I know a boy who likes to keep his burner on He's always running with no one to keep warm It's like he's flirting with the smoke alarm, his fire's fading

But still we laugh, we cry, we fall, we get high

And when I, I'm feeling small you get me through it all

I know a girl who's never tried to settle down She wears her loneliness like a crown But when she smiles all the kings will bow down, down, down

And I know a boy who's broken every vow he's made Who's spoken every capped phrase But he can listen like a rainy day and drown it out

Clumsy - All Time Low

Perfect for when Bright acts like Bright, especially in reference to him backing away from Dani and ending up with Eve. And anything else he does that breaks Danis trust and makes her say things like ‘you promised to do better’ and ‘you told me i was the one you liked talking to’ LISTEN TO THIS ONE ITS SO GOOD

I was bound to make a mess of things Mixin' fireworks and gasoline Never meant to make you fall with me

I let you down I've been clumsy with your heart again I guess you figured me out Now here's a taste of my own medicine

And for all this pain, that I can't explain There's a black flag wavin' tonight You know I let you down (let you down) I've been clumsy with your heart again

Satellite - Mayday Parade

Cant really explain how this fits other than angsty Bright who thinks hes going to mess up everything (I swear everything I touch it breaks). Most of the lines could easily come from either of them to the other. Gets at the emotion of following each other and doing life together (will you follow?)

What if I told you, everything we built will slowly fade away? And if I hold you, I swear everything I touch it breaks But it you close your eyes and take my hand We could learn from our mistakes

If you jump, I'll follow If you jump, I'll follow

What if I told you, everything that's gold is sure to fade If I hold you, what if I hold you 'til we're old and grey? But if you close your eyes and take my hand We could learn from our mistakes

If you jump, I'll follow If I jump, will you follow?

Never Let Me Go - We Came As Romans

See below under Malcolm & Gil - really good for canon friendship/ partnership with Dani & Bright

Hush Hush - The Band CAMINO

This one is absolutely perfect for building tension between the two of them either for pre-brightwell or established Brightwell – Especially if they’re hiding it from the rest of the team. It’s perfect for something hot yet playful, or just completely angsty. It’s… well, you’ll see. Give it a listen!

I caught your eye across the room No one can feel the tension between me and you There's no need to mention all the things I wanna do You wanna do 'em too We both know we'd be over if they knew Yeah, we both know we'd be over if they knew

Hush, hush Don't give it away We'll both be better off if no one knows Hush, hush Got nothin' to say Just keep it to yourself 'til we get home Don't touch they're looking your way If anybody asks, we left alone Hush, hush Don't give it away Hush, hush Don't give it away

Honest - The Band CAMINO

This one right here – the ENTIRE song is 100% for those storylines that has the two of them attempting ‘no strings attached’ and casual without all the emotions that we KNOW are there. Perfect for leading into a change from casual to serious :) Here’s just a portion

Are we something to each other Or are we just blowing smoke? Are we caught between the covers Or is there something more going on in between us, or not? Is it just on the surface, or what?

We should be honest 'Cause sometimes I can't tell Do we really want this Or are we lying to ourselves? Is it the burning hearts alone in the dark That make the midnight call? Now we're caught between the real thing And nothing at all So we should be honest

Do you feel it when you kiss me? 'Cause I know you do somehow I don't know when we go where we got But we're both here somehow And I thought it was nothing until now

What I Want - The Band CAMINO

Some feels for break up/ fight Brightwell and perfect for Dani’s POV when he moves onto Eve shortly after saying he’d try to do better at them and that she’s the one he likes talking to.

You told me to love, but I won't It doesn't seem right, no and I'll never get what I want if I can't on my own I took a chance on a feeling But here I am feeling alone

If Im James Dean, Then You’re Audrey Hepburn - Sleeping With Sirens

For when Malcolm is serious about them and really needs Dani to stay – most important line in this is ‘Cant promise that things wont be broken’ For serious, and fluff:)

They say that love is forever Your forever is all that I need Please stay as long as you need Can't promise that things won't be broken But I swear that I will never leave Please stay forever with me

The way that we are It's the reason I stay As long as you're here with me I know we'll be okay The way that we are Is the reason I stay As long as you're here with me I know I'll be okay

Another Nightmare - Sleeping With Sirens

It’s not hard for Bright to be a MESS - whether you're sticking with canon storylines or adding your own, he probably thinks he's an absolute nightmare to everyone around him, especially Dani.

Nobody's perfect, there's no excuse I've been such a fucking nightmare to you But I promise if you let me in (let me in, let me in) I will never ever hurt you again

Malcolm & Martin (as portrayed on the show - not going near that NOTP)

Monsters - All Time Low (Explicit language)

This song perfectly - 99% - describes the relationship between Malcolm and Martin (aside from the ‘in the sheets’ reference STAY THE FRICK AWAY NOTP). What I like the most about this matching their relationship is the fact that it acknowledges that Malcolm keep letting himself go back to Martin and let him hurt him (although I know a good deal of that is Martins manipulation controlling Malcolm). Go listen to the whole thing - its new music and its beautiful.

Another day, 'nother headache in this hangover hotel Gettin' used to the rhythm, yeah, I know this beat too well Tunnel visions got me feeling, like you're the only one I see But I know what's missing, where I'm swimmin' In my lonely luxury

Why am I a sucker for all your lies? Strung out like laundry on every line Why do I come back to you, like I don't mind if you fuck up my life?

I'm addicted to the way you hurt, the way you contradict me I swear everything look worse at night, I think I'm overthinking I don't care who I might hurt along the way, I'm fuckin' sinking Into every word, I don't care if you lyin' when I'm drinking So, tell me pretty lies, look me in my face Tell me that you love me, even if it's fake

A Trophy Father’s Trophy Son - Sleeping With Sirens

The actual context of the song doesn’t fit to this situation, since Martin was taken away rather than leaving his family on his own but the emotion behind the words as if they were coming from Malcolm is exactly the same: losing a father. Perfect for young Malcolm as well as current day.

Father, father, tell me where have you been? Its been hell not having you here I've been missing you so bad And you don't seem to care When I go to sleep at night, you're not there When I go to sleep at night, do you care?

I need to know, I need to know Why are you walking away? Was it something I did? Did I make a mistake cause I'm trying to deal with the pain I don't understand this, is this how it ends? I will try to understand

Blood Lines - Sleeping with Sirens

Doesn’t need any more explanation than the statement Martin made that haunts him ‘We are the same’

No matter what I do, you will never ever be like me And I will never be like you (like you)

Malcolm

Who Will Pray? - We Came As Romans

Not in a religious context at all. Definitely a song on the more glum/ angsty side to describe Malcolm and how he feels about himself in relation to everyone around him.

We share our days Together now the sun is gone am I Another left here on my own alone And I'm slowly sinking

Scared to say What I'm feeling is the truth I need to face reality I choose to use to trick myself again into thinking

Short of breath and pulse erratic The weight of my chest, I'm slightly panicked

If I start to fade, gone without a trace Who will pray for me tomorrow? If I fall too far, disappear in the dark Who will pray for me tomorrow?

Blood Lines - Sleeping With Sirens

Just some lyrics I found that accurately describe Malcolm – ‘Why do I try to save everyone I meet?’ evidenced by his talking down of their killer in every episode, and his ‘someone breaks us’ in the pilot as he tried to talk that killer down.

Why do I try to save everyone I meet? Is it because they are just like me? (Just like me) Same tracks, wrong side of the street Not typical in the way that we speak When you always expect to lose You don't give a fuck what they think of you It's written in our DNA Are we just born this way?

Malcolm & Gil (AS THEYRE PORTRAYED ON THE SHOW, PEOPLE, still not going near that NOTP)

Never Let Me Go - We Came As Romans

This one actually fits any caring relationship with Bright, especially with Gil, and his canon friendship/ partnership with Dani.

The POV in the chorus changes halfway through, as an answer to the person saying ‘dont let me go’ so I see that as being them telling Malcolm they wont let him go.

My body shivers at the thought of getting up My heart is starting to accept that I am giving up No strength left Is it over yet? Am I thinking with my heart or with my head? Through distance, you remind me that

Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me go

So hold me close and never let me, never let me go At my lowest of lows, when I need you the most So let's reverse, could you look for me, could you look for me first? I will hold you close, I will never let you go I will never let you go I will never let you go

My hands welcome yours as you begin to see me My heart is starting to accept your rescue completely This new life that you placed in my heart I hope that I will make it through to you And in my steps you will follow behind, Oh Don't let me go!

Malcolm & JT (Once again - as they’re portrayed on the show)

Agree to Disagree - Sleeping With Sirens

Doesn't entirely fit them where they are at now, but it’s perfect for how JT viewed him pretty early on

You think you're better than me? You don't like what you see? I think it's best we agree to disagree I'm doing fine by myself I never asked for your help I think it's best we agree to disagree

Songs that I’m getting paring/ character vibes from but I have no explanation why:

For a While - The Band CAMINO (Brightwell)

See Through - The Band CAMINO (Brightwell)

#songfic #prodigal son #prodigal son fic inspiration #song lyrics #brightwell #brightwell inspo #updated list #all time low #Artist Vs Poet #Mayday Parade #We Came As Romans #The Band CAMINO #Sleeping With Sirens

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taetaesbaebaepsae · 5 years

Text

BTS after a breakup

Hyung Line

Part 3 of 3: Reconciliation

Alternate Title: Fucking Finally

Alternate Title 2: Plot Twist, Yoongi is S O F T for Reader

Alternate Title 3: We Finally Find Out Why Any Bitch Would Break Up with J-Hope (It’s Anti-Climatic)

Warnings: A little angst, mild smut (I had to stop myself because look that’s not what this series is about), cursing, alcohol as a coping mechanism, mental illness tw,teeth-rotting fluff (Ya’ll just wait til I write the Maknae line and finally reward Tae for putting up with reader’s dumbass), Soft Yoongi, sweet Namjoon, Jin being cute af, Hobi gets his sunshine back

@toothpresent Here you go!

Word Count: 4,666

Namjoon (RM)

Namjoon tries so hard not to reach out to you other than that once a week

But honestly, after all the media pictures of you out with Hyunwoo and your phone conversation, he feels ten times worse

It isn't as if he's necessarily territorial but something about you being on dates makes this all seem way too real

He can't sleep that night for imagining all kinds of scenarios in which you get a new boyfriend and he's forced to just watch

Finally he gets kinda pissed off

It isn't fair that you were able to just fuck off when he was on tour and barely even talk to him

Thing is you and Hyunwoo are absolutely just friends

He's just a super sweet guy you know and he saw you at the supermarket and thought you looked sad so he took you for coffee to cheer you up

Literally that's it he texts you sometimes but it's totally platonic

Namjoon is thinking the worst imagining you having wild sex all over the hotel room you had gotten after you moved out

You'd given Namjoon the room number bc he claimed to want to bring a box of your things over

He shows up empty handed, looking painfully cute in a hoodie and jeans

He's biting the inside of his cheeks and anxious so you let him in

"I lied, there's no stuff. I just needed to see you."

His eyes are so soft when he looks down at you

He hasn't seen you in person since you left and his eyes are shining and wet

He's standing so close to you that you can smell his cologne and it's making you feel some type of way

Namjoon, never at a loss for words, seems like he wants to say something but he's quiet for a moment

"Joon?" You finally say because he's just staring at you

"I don't want to do this anymore,” he blurts out.

Before you can respond he finds his words and you can't help but smile at him pacing around the hotel room

"I don't wanna pretend to be noble and know you're doing the right thing for you by leaving. I don't want to stand by and watch you move on. I don't want to be apart from you anymore." He stops pacing and looks down at you again.

You sigh. "Joonie, nothing has changed. Nothing is different."

“You’re right. Nothing is different. You’re gone and I’m still doing everything I was doing but it all seems to mean absolutely nothing. I can’t celebrate success when I’m at home drinking two bottles of wine with dinner because I can’t stand being in our house without you. I can’t feel happy about anything, Jagi.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, and it’s true. You thought things would be better if you weren’t there to be needy and want more time with him. You thought if you weren’t fighting over petty things he’d be happier and you would too

But you just miss him

“And now you have some new boyfriend and I’m just supposed to be fine with it? I’m supposed to just live my life? I’m supposed to just casually scroll past articles about you moving on and just go to fucking work like I don’t feel like I’m underwater and my lungs are burning?”

He’s breathing hard and he’s taken a few steps toward you, crowding you

“I just thought it was the right thing to do, that we should just move on. You can do this without me, Joon. You’re strong.”

“You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know I can do this without you? I don’t want to. I don’t ever want to do this without you, Jagi. I have been great about this. I have been a fucking saint, but I can’t sit there and just let you go without a fight.”

“So what do you want me to do, Joon?”

He sighs, exasperated. “It’s very simple. I just want you to come home.”

“But what about-”

He misunderstands what you’re about to say.

“I don’t even want to hear his name,” he growls, voice deep, eyes flashing. “I just want you to come home with me and we can forget any of this ever happened.”

You’re shaking your head. “That’s not what I want, Joon. If I were to come home, things would just go back to the way they were.”

He takes your shoulders in his hands, forcing you to look at him. “Jagi I promise you I will do absolutely everything I can to make things different. I’ll take more breaks, God knows I need them. I’ll fly you out with us when we’re on tour. I’ll buy you a fucking house in every city we go to if I have to.”

You look up at him, biting your lip, but you don’t speak.

He’s watching your mouth and when you don’t agree or disagree he makes a frustrated sound in his throat and leans down to kiss you

Namjoon talks a lot but at this point action is the only way he knows how to get his point across

His hands are all over you

He lies you down on the bed and makes love to you sweeter than he ever has before and when he moans in your ear instead of dirty talk it’s stuff like “I love you,” and “I missed you so much” and “you’re so beautiful” and “don’t ever leave me again, huh, Jagi?”

When it’s over you’re cuddled up with your head on his chest

“You know, Hyunwoo is just a friend. I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Now you fucking do.”

You can’t help but laugh.

“So is it cool if I still go out to lunch with him sometimes?”

“I don’t know, Jagi. If I see another article with a headline like ‘RM’s Girl Snuggling up to Monsta X leader’ I might throw my laptop out a window.”

You laugh again and when you look at him and see his dimpled smile things seem brighter than they have in a long time

Jin

Jin is the most mess out of all four of the hyung line

After you said that mean shit to him outside the cafe at first he’s bent on revenge and he hangs out with every female friend he has where the reporters can snap pictures

He plans to be flirty and charming but he ends up just asking for advice about what to do about you

They actually give him lowkey good advice

Even the ones that are mad attracted to him (who isn’t) just listen and tell him what they think

Everyone wants Jin happy lbr

He’s just a sad pouty puppy and everyone wants the smile back on his face

The headline that catches your eye is “BTS Jin Seen Being Comforted by Unknown Female” and it’s a picture of Jin in a ball cap and face mask with his head in his hands and a girl with her hand on his shoulder

You’re not jealous, just kind of proud that he doesn’t seem to be flirting or out to get revenge

Jin sees it and groans

Even the reporters are against him (Jin, you idiot, they’re doing you a favor)

You still won’t talk to him, though, and he’s still watching your pictures on the media and you’re hanging out with Changkyun all the goddamn time and he’s sick of it

He wakes up one morning to see a pic of you on your snapchat from the night before at a club with Changkyun with his arms wrapped around your waist and you doing a kissy face at the camera

God he hates you sometimes but you’re so fucking cute

He’s just like. D O N E

He gets dressed, throwing on day old jeans and a white t-shirt and goes to your sister’s house

You hear him arguing with her as you come out of the bathroom

You were getting ready to go out but you haven’t had time to do your makeup yet before you hear his voice

Jin and your sister had been friends before you’d ever met him and he’s giving her hell about something

She had actually introduced you

“Damnit, if you don’t let me in I swear I’ll tell your husband about that guy who gave you a lapdance the night before your wedding-”

“Jin, you wouldn’t-”

You peer around the corner and he’s got his phone out, eyebrows raised

Jin:

Your sister sighs deeply and lets him in

“Asshole.”

“Bitch,” Jin says fondly, and pats her shoulder as he walks past, looking for you

Your sister gives you a pleading look and you smile at her to let her know it’s okay

His face softens when he sees you, freshly washed and bare faced and you look so good his heart aches

“Hey,” you say, not really knowing what else to say

“Hey,” he says back, uncharacteristically bashful

You let him in the guest room and he sits down on the bed, fiddling with his fingers

“So...what’s up?” You ask, waiting patiently for him to say something

“Not much...I just...wanted to talk to you for a minute.”

“I feel like we said everything we needed to at the cafe, right?”

“I didn’t,” he protests, and he’s looking up at you with such a kicked puppy look that you can’t say anything cruel

“So? Spill.”

He takes a deep breath. “Look, y/n, I know things have been shitty lately.”

“Understatement.”

He nods in agreement. “And I...I was being an idiot when I called and accused you of seeing someone else.”

You nod. “Yeah. You were.”

He sets his jaw. “However, you are seeing him like every five minutes now, so I feel like I had a right to be worried.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “Maybe. So?”

He makes an irritated clicking sound in the back of his throat and stands up, coming toward you

“So, I want you back home,” he says simply, searching your eyes

“Why? So you can leave me on tour and flirt with a hundred girls while I sit around and wait for you?”

“No! No. Sure, I flirt, it’s who I am. You’re a bigger flirt than I am!”

He’s right, but that doesn’t mean you have to like it

“Thing is, though, I tried to go out and flirt to spite you.”

“Oh, real mature.”

He hums an agreement. “Well, you said some cruel shit, y/n. It hurt.” He placed a hand over his heart and you’d think he was trying to be funny but there really is hurt in his dark eyes

“So how’d the flirting go? Make any progress?” You can’t help the bitterness in your voice

He shakes his head. “Absolutely none. Know why?”

You shake your head.

“Because I’m heartbroken.”

You scoff. “Jin, it’s not the time to be funny.”

“I’m not being funny! There’s nothing funny about this. I keep trying to play it off but sweetheart, I’m a mess.”

“You are?” You are hopeful, looking up and him, because God, you’ve been a mess too as much as you’ve managed to not look like it

“Huge mess. Huge. I’m just lying in bed all day fucking moping around. I’m not even wearing makeup lately all my fans are complaining.”

“No one is complaining, Jin.”

His lips perk up at one corner. “I know, I know. I was born this gorgeous.”

You roll your eyes but he’s getting closer to you and sliding his arm around your waist and God you missed this, your big handsome dork

“I’m sad. I’m sad all the time and I couldn’t even make bad jokes to charm my friends. My new nickname is ‘Sad Sack Hyung.’ It’s bad.

You laugh at him and he puts his hand on your face, smiling at you and he looks so soft

“God, I missed your laugh,” he says, peppering kisses on your jawline

You heave a deep sigh and your arms go around his neck slowly and he buries his face in your neck

“Can we be done with this? Can we just be done and go back home?”

You’re quiet for a moment.

“Maybe,” you say stubbornly and he hugs you tighter.

“Come on, Jagi. I’ll make food.”

“Bribing me with food?”

“It’s never steered me wrong before,” He’s murmuring against your neck and you are getting goosebumps

Your phone starts ringing on the dresser and you jump a little

You snake your hand out to look at it and Changkyun is calling since you’ve been going out for coffee once or twice a week

He just got cheated on by his long time girlfriend and you were really just drinking buddies, bitching about your exes

You’re all talk, you’re still crazy about Jin

Jin pulls away from you and frowns

“Don’t you dare answer it.”

You push him back and walk a few steps away, answering your phone and saying just a few short words to your friend

He knows instantly what’s going on after the cafe debacle

Jin crosses his arms, pouty

He’s S A L T Y

You hang up and turn back to Jin.

“So what are you going to make me?”

His face brightens a little but he doesn’t uncross his arms. “Was that him?”

“You’re cute when you’re jealous, you know.”

“I don’t get jealous. I’m just curious,” he grumbles

“Sure, sure.”

His eyes shoot to yours and he’s serious all of a sudden

“So like, we’re back together, right?’

You smile at him. “I guess so.”

“Okay. Delete his number. Right now. I wanna see you do it.”

You burst out laughing and he doesn’t think it’s funny

All the way back to the house you’ve shared for two years he’s bitchy and grumbling

He’s like madder and madder because you just keep laughing at him

When you walk in the door he kind of slams it open and you just walk past him, shaking your head and putting your things down

“I’m serious! I don’t want you seeing him anymore. I can’t deal with you hanging out with some guy you used to fuck, Jagi-”

You cut him off by throwing your arms around him and kissing him, hard, and he moans into your mouth and melts into you

He pulls away first. “Don’t distract me. I’m mad at you,” but he’s smirking at you

“I didn’t fuck anybody, dumbass. He’s just a friend.”

“What?” He’s incredulous. “You really made me think you were fucking someone else all this time? I wasted so much time freaking out! We really just could’ve been back together all this time?” He’s going on a whole rant and you’re just giggling at him

“I’m sorry. I thought you really were with that girl, and I just...I wanted to get you back. I wanted to hurt you because I was hurt.”

“You fucking succeeded,” he said, voice low, and you can tell he actually is mad

His arms are still loose around you and you drag your nails across his bare forearms and kiss his neck

When he shivers you know he’s done for

You don’t quite make it to the bedroom upstairs and he fucks you midway up the stairs with your legs around his shoulders

It’s hot but it’s sweet he’s saying all the right things about how it’s only ever been you, you’re the love of his life

You’re both hangry by the time you get through and you end up ordering takeout and watching Netflix with your legs in his lap, him trailing his fingers up and down your thighs

It’s like it never happened, and sure you’re both insecure, jealous morons, but you’ll make it work

Yoongi (Suga)

Yoongi has a lot of pride and it’s tough for him to express how he feels to you

This is something you’ve always known and dealt with and you’ve been a fucking saint about it, in your opinion

So when he went full caveman mode at your friend’s house, you were d o n e

Not that it mattered, you knew he’d avoid you like the plague after an outburst like that

You were actually 100% dead wrong because like 4 hours later he’s blowing up your phone with text messages

At first it’s casual just like “hey”

When you don’t respond in five minutes it’s “you really dating that guy”

Then an hour later it’s “I’m sorry” and that’s when you know he’s probably super drunk

He’s not real big on apologies, your man

You hear your best friend cooing over Chanyeol’s swollen nose in the other room and you wince a little

This is a whole mess

But he’s texting you more than he has in like the last six months so you can’t help but respond

“where are you?”

“home. u coming?”

You don’t answer and when you knock on the door (which feels weird, since it’s been your house for like 2 years) he just yells for you to come in

He’s sitting in the dark on the couch like a psychopath

Like no lights on but the dim light of his laptop sitting by him on the couch

When you walk over warily he kind of jerks out and grabs your hand and pulls you down onto his lap and you let out a little scream

“You’re not scared of me, are you, baby?” He asks against your neck, pulling you close to him, and his voice is low and miserable

You let yourself relax a little in his arms. He smells like beer and cigarettes but it’s still so familiar

“Of course not, Yoongi.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your throat, nuzzling you there, and he’s been so rarely affectionate in these past few months that you are shocked but grateful

You try to pull away to look at him but he won’t let you

“I’m just trying to talk to you, Yoongi, let me go.”

“No,” he says stubbornly, tightening his arms around your waist

You finally wriggle out of his grasp enough to pivot on his lap to see his face and he’s been crying and it makes you s o f t

You’ve always known that Yoongi loves you, he shows it with little actions and words but God knows you’re starving to know he cares in the last few months

You barely talked to him even when he was on tour, and you know that stress makes him distant but you were just aching for something just like this, just for him to give a shit after you left

He sniffs and jerks his chin up at you

“Did I break his nose?” he asks, voice petty

You take in a deep breath. “No, but it was a near thing. You’re such a jerk.”

He shrugs. “I am sorry about the flowers.”

“Yeah, me too, they were a bitch to clean up.”

“I mean, I’m sorry about the note.”

“You mean, calling me a brat?”

He frowned. “No. You are a brat.”

You hit his shoulder with the heel of your hand

“I just mean it didn’t say what I really meant.”

“Which is?”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Yoongi, if you don’t, I’m gonna walk out of here.”

He takes in a deep breath and hugs you tighter to him, resting his chin on your shoulder

“You’re a brat but I want you to be my brat.”

“Oh yeah?” Your voice is soft. You’re soft for him, you can’t help it

He nods against your shoulder, chuckling when you squeal because it tickles

“I guess I like you.”

“Lots of people like me. Chanyeol likes me,” you tease, and you squeal again when he growls and bites your shoulder gently

“I’m in love with you, brat.”

You:

He says “I love you” all the time but for some reason the “in love” thing just really gets you in your feelings

You’re quiet for a moment, being emo

“So are you coming back home, now?”

When you don’t answer right away he hugs you tighter

“Please?”

You:

You twist your head around to kiss him and when you pull away he’s all smiles

“We can get my stuff from y/bf/n’s later. You can apologize to poor Chanyeol.”

He scoffs. “Why would he be there? Waiting around on you?”

“No, you moron, because he’s her boyfriend. He fucking lives there.”

You laugh at the look on his face and he scrunches his nose at you flips you onto your back on the couch, touching his nose to yours

“You really are a brat for not just telling me that!”

You shrug. “Maybe you deserved it.”

“I almost had a heart attack worried about you with someone else. You’re a jerk. I don’t like you anymore.” He’s grumbling but he’s still smiling, giving you eskimo kisses, and you L O V E it

“Yeah, but you’re in love with me.” You’re grinning ear to ear.

“Yeah, whatever, brat.”

He kisses you senseless for hours, just making out and for the next few days he’s never not touching you, even holding your hand while he works on his laptop or rubbing your thigh when he’s eating dinner

He’s a grumpy jerk sometimes but you’re so fucking in love with him and now that you’re sure he feels the same way even though you’re an annoying brat life might just be perfect

Hoseok (J-Hope)

You come to him, because he’s given you time and space and you feel like he at least deserves an explanation

It’s been a full week since you’ve left

When he hears the key in the door he’s like a puppy, bouncing around as you come in the door, and before you can put your luggage down his arms are tight around you

Visual representation of Hobi as you come in:

You can't help but smile

He can almost always make you smile

“Baby, my bags-” you choke out, arms shaking at holding all your stuff because he’s got his arms under your elbows, hugging you

“Oh! I’m sorry, sunshine!” He takes your bags and throws them down unceremoniously

He’s grinning a mile wide

“You’re home!”

You smile weakly. “I was hoping it’d be okay if I could stay here for a little while.”

His face falls. “Sunshine, this is your home. Our home.”

You fiddle with the plastic bracelet on your wrist and Hobi’s not normally super observant but he notices. He grabs your wrist and gives you a confused look

“Sunshine, are you sick? What is going on? Will you please talk to me?”

He’s talking so fast, rapid fire questions, and you feel a little overwhelmed

“Can we sit down?”

He ushers you to the couch, hovering over you as if he wants to touch you but isn’t sure if he should

You sit down and he’s looking at you, worried and expectant

“I’ve been having some...issues lately.”

“Jin told me that you called him about it. Why didn’t you tell me, sunshine?”

You sniffle, tears burning at the back of you eyes

“I was just...I was so sad all the time. For no reason. Of course I missed you, but that was nothing new. I always miss you when you’re away. I went to see someone...I had kind of a...breakdown.”

“Sunshine-” His voice is so soft, in a whisper, brows furrowed

“I was diagnosed with bipolar depression. I was...suicidal. I had all these thoughts, these horrible thoughts about how you’d be better off without me, everyone would, I was just a burden and bringing you down.”

He’s shaking his head vigorously but for once, he’s speechless.

“I stayed for a week and got the right meds. I know that a chronic illness is something that’s really hard to deal with, and I just don’t want to burden you with that. I know how important your music is to you and I just...I wanted to leave before things got bad.”

You’re crying in earnest now and he slides closer to you, gently taking your hand and you look at him. Tears are streaking down his cheeks

“Sunshine....I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave like that I just...I couldn’t tell you.”

“I’m just so sorry that you felt you couldn’t tell me that. I must be the world’s worst boyfriend for you to be suffering so much...” He’s crying so hard that he’s shaking and you squeeze his hand.

“You’re so perfect, baby. Just so happy and perky and I knew that this would be so hard for you. I just want you to be happy and I know that I can’t do that for you anymore. I couldn’t tell you how weak I was.”

“Weak?” He looks almost mad. “Weak? You’re the strongest person I know. You light up everything. Everything. You were suffering so much and you managed to keep it together, to get yourself help - that’s the strongest thing I can think of.”

“I just couldn’t imagine that you’d want me like this.”

He is mad, now, you can see it spread all over his face and he takes your cheeks in his and forces you to look right at him

“Sunshine I’d want you anyway I could have you, but this only makes me want you more. I am so sorry that you’ve had to do this alone and I swear to you that if you let me, I’ll do better. I’ll be here for you. I’ll take more breaks and I’ll call you every single day. I’ll make you trust me.”

Your heart is so full you think you might die

He is perfect, he calls you sunshine but really he’s yours, he’s lighting up all the dark parts of you now that you’re not hiding them from him

You jump at him, straddling his hips and hugging him as tight as you can

“I do trust you, baby. I love you so much and I’m so sorry I’m like this.”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” he breathes into you neck. “You did what you needed to do and I promise to spend the rest of my life making you happy.”

You cry for a while, huddled in his arms and he just hums against your neck, soothing you by stroking your hair, and when you pull away you’re smiling

“I missed your smile, sunshine,” he says, and you kiss him and kiss him and kiss him until your lips are swollen

You spend all night talking and he touches you so gently, almost reverently

Things are hard for a while, he treats you like fine china, like you might fall apart at any second

He doesn’t even ask you about Jackson but he gets this anxious look in his eye when Jackson calls or texts you

You notice and explain to him that nothing is going on

He tells you it’s not like he’s jealous, he just feels awful that you had to turn to someone that wasn’t him during a hard time

You prove to him that was your decision and your insecurities, and after time, he doesn’t even blink when you say you’re going out to lunch with your ex

He keeps his word and talks to you every day, even when he’s thousands of miles away

You call him when you’re having a bad day, break down and cry and tell him all the awful things you’re thinking

He listens to you, soothes you, distracts you by asking you to help him with song lyrics

He writes a song called “Sunshine” and never releases it, only does it for you, sends you a video of it when he thinks you might feel down

He’s absolutely perfect

He’s everything you need and he accepts you, flaws and all, and you’re the luckiest girl in the world

1K notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: pick me up Joe: rude you clearly did without me Joe: but I'll be able to do a twofer, yeah 👌 Joe: send your distress signal so I know where to point Ronnie: [wherever she's been working for a hot sec, I dread to think lol] Joe: you making a complaint about their cold-calls in person? Joe: tick off initiative on your CV Ronnie: my sides have split & it aint fuck all to the piss poor stitching Joe: see how far we can stretch your guts either side of you, fun Joe: did you self-sew or see one of your gun-wielding pals? different principle tats and triage Ronnie: then you can play a round of guess how much of this blood is mine, get yourself proper going Joe: too kind, stop me from charging the going rate for a while yet 🚖 Joe: what office supply did you use though Joe: if you were too cliche, you are going to have to sit up front and talk to me, proper cabbie punishment Ronnie: everything got nicked day 1 baby they werent about to waste any staples keeping shit on desks Ronnie: phone & a script is your lot Joe: there any drug we can act like anyone's calling it oscar on the street? Joe: you fully Joe Pesci'd someone with the phone, yeah? 👏 Ronnie: any gear that should go straight in the bin Ronnie: call it oscar Joe: you are wasted on 0 hour contracts, my dear Ronnie: not wasted enough for em Joe: join me at your local overpriced shit coffee dealer Joe: our bathrooms couldn't pass a piss test but they all only want the ⬆pers Joe: 💔 Ronnie: ill have an escort if you dont get a fucking move on Ronnie: you got enough student spends to feed coffee & doughnuts to the full force yeah Joe: say lucky you but security guards got as many hairs on their head as they got IQ points Joe: lot down Soho are decent conversationalists, unlike Daz and Gaz Joe: I did just get this terms though so hold on and you can help me 🔥 through it Ronnie: i dont get turned on by einstein & his pals mckenna thats your wank fuel Ronnie: easiest way to get a cunt off my back is to put him on his Joe: he only banged his cousin, that's nothing to waste energy on Ronnie: 💔 none of your cousins look enough like your mam for you Joe: why do you think i was searching Joe: daring to dream Ronnie: give a fuck about your nancy drew fantasies Ronnie: that schoolgirl shit is tapped Joe: the catholic schoolgirl uniforms have been overstated Joe: not all that in person, be the review Joe: nuns though, yeah Joe: enough mild peril to manage Ronnie: charlie will be gutted youve switched from homos to dykes Joe: you're the only one who's guts I wanna play around Joe: I'll break it to him nicely Joe: doughnuts, yeah Ronnie: consolation hole Ronnie: youve had shitter ideas Joe: it was yours, in fairness Joe: dunno about offering up my hole to every bloke at the met but if I put my foot down shouldn't be an issue Ronnie: i dont reckon a consolation footjob is gonna cut it Ronnie: not my first offence Joe: giving away how highly you think of my 🍑 Joe: what happened then, beyond telemarketing being worse than shitting out razorblades Ronnie: you wish you had 1 whitey Joe: says you Ronnie: if i had any curves theyd be cut off by now Joe: junkie chic before the habit Joe: some girls have all the luck Ronnie: lucky i need your bullshit heroics for this or id send you on a fools errand to sleuth the pieces out of landfill Joe: white knight > jester Joe: not my usual style, but for you I'll make an exception Ronnie: unless youre gonna say your horse fucking girlfriend dressed you the other night ive already seen it like Joe: you think her thing is budget kurt cobain? Joe: or that she's blind Ronnie: be blind by now if you catholics arent full of shit about touching yourself too much Ronnie: homesick for the horse & rejected by you Joe: what do you think its called Joe: my bets are on some boy band member she fancied when she was 11 and daddy was gutted Ronnie: or the 1st lad she wanted to meet round the back of the bike sheds Joe: you're such a romantic Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: im thinking like a basic white bitch from kent or wherever the fuck you said Joe: you do it well Joe: no way her school had anything common like bikesheds though so knocking a point off Joe: getting fingered on the hellipad is more voyeuristic but has less of a charm about it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: shes gonna be charmed by the namedrop Joe: return the favour Joe: she's making me help her with her coursework Ronnie: plaster cast of your cock and then what Ronnie: tell her you aint no hendrix & its been done Joe: charlie wishes, whitey Joe: I'll cc 'em both in about my disappointing dick Ronnie: ill pass on gaz & daz numbers Joe: god I hope the plaster ain't dried Ronnie: god aint listening to you nancy Joe: adds up Joe: that kind of dad, technically always keep an eye but going in one ear and out the other Joe: 💔 woe is me Ronnie: irish catholics aint got fuck all going on between the ears she werent in it for that Joe: fucked me up with her shit genetics then Joe: you manage to get a pen? Joe: shove it in my ear and dig it out Ronnie: pull it out of my neck & you can stick it where you like Joe: we'll let the blood piss out 'til it feels right Ronnie: im the romantic Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright, you need to be conscious to woo me Ronnie: couldve fooled me Joe: dead girls pale in comparison Joe: 💘 Ronnie: the boners you lot have got for open caskets over there i dont reckon youve ever seen a dead girl the proper colour Joe: just said you were #1 but you've got to be 1 and only, yeah? Ronnie: in your fever dreams mckenna Ronnie: i aint looking that much like your ma however much slap i put on Joe: you're prettier than her Ronnie: now you want me to drink bleach instead of having a bath in it Ronnie: make up your fucking mind like Joe: just knew that would wind you up Joe: gotta bring out some cliches Joe: you're perfect just the way you are, you know Ronnie: drop dead Joe: god willing Joe: he's being fucking slow about it, despite my best efforts Ronnie: ill give it my best shot if you keep on Joe: another one for the cv Ronnie: find it written in my blood shit & bile on this wall Ronnie: thats your girlfriends coursework aced for her Joe: beats the lecture I'm skipping out on by miles Ronnie: no shit none of em are dressed like nuns Joe: none of 'em hate me like you either Joe: so damn likeable, its a curse Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about all your teachers trying to pet you Ronnie: childhoods over golden boy Joe: and all without me getting molested once Joe: by any nuns or teachers anyway Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: why youre such an annoying cunt Joe: abuse really humbles you, does it Joe: builds character Ronnie: gives you something to properly cry about Joe: got nothing on the shit my brain can make up Joe: idle hands and all that Ronnie: yeah youre so special baby Joe: it's just being mental or not Joe: if you ain't, you can go through whatever fucked up shit and be alright still Joe: if you're mental nothing even needs to happen and you'll be worse off Joe: some of us ain't got a chance from conception Ronnie: tell me something i dont know Ronnie: poster child for not having a fucking chance & any mental problems they wanna attach Joe: you better pay for more ad space Joe: call it karma, or dodgy genetics Joe: but I make a great case for abortion Ronnie: like i said before not one that needs to be put to me Ronnie: had more of em than youve had misery boners Joe: won't make you tell me about 'em Joe: no way you'd be as descriptive as the furious pro-lifers who act like the baby is fit to crawl out when you kill it Ronnie: hot Ronnie: shouldve called 1 of em to pick me up instead Joe: condemnation and loathing is meant to be my thing Ronnie: sharings meant to be your thing too yeah? Joe: only when it's inadvisable Ronnie: only when you wanna Joe: if you got to play oldest you'd know that's sadly untrue Ronnie: stuck being the cliche middle kid between fitz & the other one Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: seeking attention and approval because you're overlooked and under-appreciated? Joe: it's why 3 is a good number, any more and you've got multiple middle kids Joe: maybe I don't wanna fuck my mum, just missing all 3 of my own so much 🙄 Ronnie: they wish anyone could overlook me Ronnie: & you deffo do wanna fuck her so thats shit on your thesis Joe: yeah, sounds just like them Joe: suits you Joe: like the basic white bitch thing Ronnie: go fuck your mam Ronnie: im too tired for this Joe: you won't have no early start tomorrow sound of Ronnie: didnt have an early start today Ronnie: thats what kicked off this bullshit Joe: fair enough Joe: who wants a cold call at 7am Ronnie: the cunt who runs the place will be getting 1 off me til he pays me Joe: lucky him Joe: might wanna stay in your debt longer, romantic that you are Joe: attention very flattering Ronnie: what im hearing is i should tell his missus some fucking fairytale about the attention he was giving me Ronnie: everyonell be made up with the lie Joe: could do Joe: like your flair Joe: or I could come in, tell him you're mental and that he didn't make adequate allowances for you but now you're too traumatized to come back so he should just pay and we won't have to sue Joe: might get damages on top Ronnie: who are you my fucking school age carer like Joe: i'm believable, and more palatable than you outwardly Joe: anyway i look older Ronnie: than what 12 Joe: you have a baby face Joe: i look like i've not slept in as many years Joe: which is pretty accurate, as it goes Ronnie: do i fuck Ronnie: i look like ive shaken a baby to death Joe: child on child crime Joe: shocking headlines there, like that scottish girl who was fucked then got out and was someone's gran like she didn't kill a toddler Ronnie: see how palatable you are when I kick your teeth in Joe: it's a curse Joe: if you wanna lift it and be my hero instead of it being this way 'round Joe: love you forever, like Ronnie: ill lift your wallet fuck the rest Joe: already offered you my money Joe: not even a challenge, soft touch Ronnie: like youve ever been challenged soft lad Joe: go on Ronnie: youre already going on loads Joe: bet you've never heard about the traffic in this city, have ya Ronnie: fuck it ill go lay in it Joe: 😍 Ronnie: save the pillow talk for when youre offering me somewhere else to sleep Ronnie: would let you fuck me for entry to horse girls en suite if theres a bath in it Joe: where's your bed gone Ronnie: its got a hysterical homo in it whos only gonna get himself in more of a fanny flap cause ive been sacked Ronnie: ill take the wreckage of a 4 car pile up or whatever Joe: gotcha Joe: how long 'fore he calms it Ronnie: how long are you offering to spend buying him drinks & cupping his balls Joe: i get it Joe: you wanna wifeswap Joe: not just her art assignment you're interested in Joe: but you can just take my bed, I'm always falling asleep on the sofa or up the table and she'll relish at more chance to watch me sleeping Ronnie: your room got a 🔒 Joe: yeah but you're alright, it's on the inside Joe: not going to get fritzl about it Ronnie: youd need more than that to keep me in Ronnie: which youd know if you were earning off dealing with my mental problems Joe: not giving you a challenge either, don't get hysterical yourself like Ronnie: you couldnt like Ronnie: bigger pussy than your basic white girlfriend Joe: oh god stop talking about it Joe: i'll be sick Ronnie: no stomach for any kind of challenge Joe: you crack on Joe: i'll stick to 🍩 Ronnie: not so needy for some clean piss that ill be licking her out for it Joe: you should write this song for me Ronnie: whats in it for me Ronnie: got all your spends on a promise as is Joe: the fame and full writing credits, obviously Ronnie: fuck off obviously Joe: that's how we know you're not really a middle kid Ronnie: more shit you can come at your ma with Joe: I'll save it for the next holiday Ronnie: 💘 Joe: what about your dad Ronnie: i dont reckon hes up for another go on her if youre there watching Joe: 💔 Joe: i meant do you know what happened to him Joe: you might have more interesting half brothers out there, what I'm thinking Ronnie: got no interest in little fucking kids Joe: so you do know Joe: did he come find you or what Ronnie: dont get jealous nance Ronnie: did it myself like Joe: he meet your expectations Ronnie: what kind of fucking soft shit is that Ronnie: get a grip mckenna he aint rich Joe: a no would suffice Joe: though it's adorable you really kicked it like Annie over it Joe: you could've said you had none, or you expected him to be dead or worse, a useless cunt Ronnie: why would i say fuck all to you about it Joe: too painful too private Joe: gotcha Ronnie: wank over your own parents when i aint waiting Joe: the fact you've not implied I'd prematurely cum in my pants Joe: you're so full of hope it's equal parts inspiring and worrying Ronnie: get out of my face before i kick yours in Ronnie: everyone who aint gone blind can see youre a virgin Joe: don't be jealous, sid Ronnie: you cant tell your older sister what to do baby Ronnie: that aint how this works Joe: it wasn't good ever Ronnie: course youre crying about that too Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: just trying to ease your jealousy Joe: anyway, you'll be pleased to know the lacklustre results were down to my lack of trying, not theirs Ronnie: 1 less dose of the clap & i might still be fertile now thats fucking worrying Ronnie: keep your status choir boy Joe: bit cliche far as fantasies go but alright Ronnie: you started it Ronnie: trying to make me feel special Joe: no need to try is there Ronnie: not now my gag reflex has been triggered Joe: like that ain't been decimated by now too Ronnie: youre learning Ronnie: your teachersll be made up Joe: hope for the molestation yet? Joe: nice Ronnie: ease your 💔 & limp dick Joe: calm down Joe: might get attached Ronnie: do your grades the world of good Joe: you wanna help me with my homework? Ronnie: youre that shit in the sack you still wont get an a after giving your teachers a going over Ronnie: unlucky like Joe: so you can help me Joe: what else you gonna do whilst you're hiding from charlie Ronnie: use your imagination Joe: no need Joe: you'll be sharing Ronnie: cant stop you kicking the door in Ronnie: its yours Joe: just the needle, not the bed, like Joe: you're fine Ronnie: yeah youll be between horse girls sheets Joe: don't reckon she's strong enough to carry me Ronnie: only has to strap a saddle on Joe: 😂 Ronnie: fuck knows what she would fill your nose bag with Joe: the surprise is the fun part Ronnie: dont come crying to me when its oscar Joe: if she was half as interesting as you're making out, might stand a chance of working Joe: as it goes, probably be granola Ronnie: stick her thatll make her more your type Joe: come on Joe: she don't look a thing like my mother Ronnie: fucks sake when shes under get a 🔪 Ronnie: do your best like Joe: i keep telling you i'm not one for trying Ronnie: trying not to cry is as far as it goes yeah Joe: even my kiddy medicine cuts that shit off Joe: ain't been able to since I was 12 Joe: not that there was much call for it, my perfect life with mummy dearest Ronnie: the other week before you met me then Ronnie: gutted i broke your streak Joe: you sure you ain't interested in little fucking kids Joe: rearrange that sentence and Freud is having a field day Ronnie: make the effort to get here before i start to rot Ronnie: not trying to make that cunts day or yours Joe: you'd have liked him Ronnie: he rich off peddling that bullshit to the masses Joe: yeah and he reckoned cocaine was the cure for heroin addiction so he really knew a good time Ronnie: sounds like my not boyfriend Joe: oh yeah? Joe: well his grandson was cooler Joe: he fucked kate moss when he was like 70 Ronnie: anyone written a song about that Joe: maybe pete did Joe: he was a painter though so he painted her with her kit off, obviously Joe: reckon it's free for us to give it a crack Ronnie: your girlfriend painted you yet or what Joe: she wants to Ronnie: no shit mckenna Ronnie: every cunt there nearly fucking went arse over tit in the puddle she was sat in at that gig Joe: so that's what that sticky feeling was Ronnie: her juices or charlies Joe: that's called mixed media Joe: potential bio-hazard for her profs though Ronnie: worst theyre gonna get off her is thrush Ronnie: never met a bitch so clean Joe: yeah Joe: boring Ronnie: i told you to kill her last time you started being a baby about it Joe: you can have homicidal, sis Joe: boring but harmless Ronnie: cocaines harmless after heroin you & freud are still pussy enough to call it a party Joe: why it's a cure Joe: get you from comatose to semi-functioning Ronnie: she could be a cure too Ronnie: cold turkey Joe: weren't searching for a cure Joe: am i coming in or are you coming out Joe: can't see you Ronnie: cause youre comatose Ronnie: gutted this ex boss aint a cokehead Joe: not far off Joe: he your not boyfriend or is that just what we're telling the wife Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: he couldnt fund your baby habit nevermind mine Joe: we going there first then Ronnie: yeah Joe: if we get your wages, we don't have to Joe: [come in boy] Ronnie: [a look like go on impress me by getting these wages boy] Joe: [when you can give it social worker chat 'cos what Tess does and the whole beeline of it all like you can be convincing enough that he's breaking some kind of equality law by sacking her without pay lol] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph even if she won't let you know she's impressed and also lowkey triggered by that social worker energy] Joe: [honestly, lbr this man surely just wants you gone, won't take too much persuading] Ronnie: [literally and he's clearly in some way shady if he's 1. employed her and also 2. not called the police on her rn] Joe: [no leg to stand on sir, love this shakedown for you] Ronnie: [I bet they're all illegals and people being exploited] Joe: [its a mood, as in happens all the time esp. in cities, least you can hit him up again lads, long as he don't get y'all beaten up or something lol] Ronnie: [tbf if you do get beaten up that's a mood too] Joe: [yeah, when they find out you are not social and just taking their money lol] Ronnie: [love a scam] Joe: [the kind of nonsense have your mother rolling in her grave she's not in, love that we're starting that now] Ronnie: [I approve of the vibe, start as you mean to go on lads, all before you've made his poor flatmate wanna die lol] Joe: [poor gal did not ask for you as a flatmate let alone all this lol] Ronnie: [do you wanna skip to like when she's back and Ronnie's in his room or whatever because easy way to keep the convo going without needing it to be face to face] Joe: [works for me henny] Ronnie: [your turn to start boo] Joe: doubt she'll leave her room any time soon now Ronnie: 💔 Joe: yeah poor girl Joe: saying you got free reign, if you need anything Ronnie: i had it before Ronnie: not scared of her like Joe: nah Joe: what about charlie then Joe: or you just don't wanna upset him Ronnie: yeah terrified Ronnie: well sleuthed nancy Joe: that he'll get sick of you, maybe Ronnie: i fucking told you we aint the kind of family who get rid Joe: yeah Ronnie: dont project onto me Ronnie: we aint nothing alike Joe: i'm the one sick of them Joe: if anything Ronnie: yeah & he aint fuck all like you either Joe: I can see that Ronnie: youve seen him once dont flatter yourself Joe: and it's that obvious Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: what? Joe: i only need to know one half the equation to know we're not the same Joe: it's a compliment to him if fuck all else Ronnie: give it to him then Ronnie: hell lap it up Joe: i told you it's nice Joe: what you lot got Joe: but i'm not looking to get in on it if that's what you reckon Ronnie: take what you want pussy Joe: that's not your thing? Ronnie: what we cant both do it Joe: potentially Ronnie: dont remember you having any hesitation to share a needle Ronnie: grow a pair when youre not getting shot up Ronnie: maybe the dayll come when i dont have to spoon feed you the gear like a fucking kid Joe: i'd have to work out if i want anything but first Ronnie: yeah Joe: is it all you want Joe: the heroin Ronnie: mind your fucking business Joe: alright Joe: do you want to do my next tattoo or what Ronnie: i said take what you fucking want Joe: [come through with ink you've undoubtedly stole from your flatmate, also being more spacey/twitchy than normal like distract me gal] Ronnie: [love how old school & gross we're kicking this tattoo situation unlike when Ali does it] Joe: [which is absolutely the point, how your arms and legs don't fall off lol] Ronnie: [their other ones probably wouldn't have even healed yet cos lbr it's gonna be no time in between these interactions] Joe: [just loads of lowkey open wounds, like that isn't life anyway] Ronnie: [mhmm they'd be fucked already too cos they are so itchy when they are healing and y'all don't have chill] Joe: [all the reason for constant touch ups/ messing with so it casually never heals #mood] Ronnie: [I didn't think of that but I stan] Joe: [casual metaphor for your everything lads] Ronnie: [you know you can do anything to her tattoowise yourself Joseph she don't care] Joe: [probably doing some weird repitition moment you'd usually do on yourself which will be painful af excuse you] Ronnie: [she do love the pain you're fine] Joe: [good thing too, we're just here fucking each other up like this ain't gonna go anywhere else lolllllll] Ronnie: [way more #into it than I should be considering I don't even like when people shout lol] Joe: [you babby, they are not, obviously we're getting and taking drugs even if she's too naive to know why they're in such a state, maybe they can make a dealer come to them when they're feeling fancy/have already had loads lol] Ronnie: [take a moment to appreciate how few clothes she is wearing rn and how much that means this poor gal can and would see like we've got track marks and self harm scars for days even before you start on the tattoos lol, you're gonna get clued in before she leaves hen] Joe: [honestly props for not running home screaming tbh babe] Ronnie: [especially when this dealer comes because he ain't Drew like he should be scary af] Joe: [lowkey makes you work for it even when you're paying 'cos hates junkies] Ronnie: [at least she can basically fuck him in full view for Joe's benefit because the vibe is already there haha] Joe: [i truly love thinking about what the hell you're telling the flatmate when she leaves, she's not that stupid, also must fancy you if she doesn't report you immediately lol] Ronnie: [she definitely does that's not just Ronnie's bpd jealousy shining through like did you tell her you were related after the gig or what even Joseph what's the narrative] Joe: [also, entirely unrelated, when you bleaching your hair 'cos it looks so much better lol, anyways, he's probably had to go with a troubled sister narrative 'cos she's the type to be sympathetic and it makes sense why he'd deal from her pov] Ronnie: [that's gonna make the obvious sexual tension awkward but yeah I vote they definitely do it while she's staying because same vibe as the tattoo sesh so] Joe: [ikr, when you're blatantly fucking this will be very confusing, you should deffo only be about 1st year lol] Ronnie: [are you gonna give him another different flatmate in year 2 or like none?] Joe: [maybe for year 2 on you can still have some like a house share moment but he's the one you never see and has nothing to do with you] Ronnie: [that works definitely cos like I was just thinking how could he afford somewhere on his own] Joe: [yeah, even if we're technically employed whilst in uni by the orchestra, it's not gonna be loads, and that's how London be even if you're not a student] Ronnie: [how long do we think she should stay for this time because obvs she's coming back again and again but] Joe: [hmm, like he isn't gonna tell her to go so it's on her for how long she can deal lol] Ronnie: [just cos I'm thinking she should leave because something happens/almost does and it freaks her out because she's meant to hate him and there's only so much you can play off as doing for shock value when you're blatantly into it] Joe: [that makes sense, clearly it ain't gonna take long for that to transpire] Ronnie: [yeah a few days is what I'm imagining, but like enough that she probably thinks nothing will happen because it hasn't so far, if that makes sense] Joe: [i'm with it] Ronnie: [how far do we wanna go is always the question] Ronnie: [okay idea time, hear me out hun, what if it's like an unexpectedly pure/cute moment by their standards that happens in the day to day because the obvious would be to have them go all in when they are fucked up but like think about it] Joe: [that's what I thought too though 'cos it's more impactful 'cos it isn't as if it's gonna start with a kiss when it does for real like it's all extra and them to cover that it's about anything but being fucked up, so that would shake you both] Ronnie: [so glad we're on the same page here, like I can't think of a good example of what I mean/think should happen but] Joe: [we know the vibe, doing something vaguely domestic before realizing what you're doing] Ronnie: [so she gotta run away and nobody is gonna know where she is or what she's doing for a bit soz Charlie & Bronson] Joe: [you wanna skip to that time period now, this hasn't been excessively long or anything[ Ronnie: [we totally can because we can always skip back/add it if we think of anything else we wanna do while she's there etc] Ronnie: [I've had a potential idea how to start this so neither of them technically has to bite the bullet and go first like if you give me a rough idea what kind of thing Charlie would say e.g where are you/are you dead bitch and I'll reply here like she's in the wrong convo lol] Joe: [that's a good idea boo, probably something like you can stop hiding now and an update about whatever the fuck he's up to in his life which you can make up you know the vibe lol] Ronnie: [I was just like realistically if they were both shook by what happened neither of them are gonna be like oh hey] Joe: [yeah like it'd take him a while even if he would 'cos not just gonna let this go that easy, so it's a solid way to do it] Ronnie: a real scouse ma's meant to shout down the street when its time to stop playing about Ronnie: lazy cunt Joe: I'm only half if I'm anything, and you probably won't give me that any rate Ronnie: 🖕 not talking to you Ronnie: got the wrong gaylord Joe: easy mistake Joe: you not got his number saved? Ronnie: if this was my phone yeah Joe: newly acquired then Ronnie: mine broke Joe: my condolences Joe: wall or pavement? Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter Joe: just making conversation whilst you're here Ronnie: if youve got something to say go ed Ronnie: but if youre gonna pussy out as per it got waterlogged Joe: you dying for the uni update like my ma is a top performance, cheers, like Joe: rice didn't work or you didn't fancy eating toilet water rice after Ronnie: loads in common me & her aint just a pretty face like Ronnie: dont know what kind of fucking 12 year old in a k hole at a festival you take me for mckenna Joe: yeah, it's a shame Joe: soph says save some for the 🐎s Ronnie: cold showers work better for misery boners than they do a suspected od but these fucking amateurs aint know jack shit obviously Ronnie: shame & shameful that is Joe: I'm a better sesh companion Ronnie: ill take the 🐴 Ronnie: whole or in bits Joe: seems the possessive type Ronnie: thats your bitch Joe: who I meant but I ain't claiming her Ronnie: bet shed be made up over a uni update Joe: bold of you to assume we haven't had many delightful lunch dates whilst you've been having cold showers Ronnie: give a fuck if youve been eating her out at any time of day Joe: yeah well I'm pretty gutted you've replaced me with another newbie Ronnie: stop fucking crying Ronnie: i aint running a nursery Joe: ain't the only one sounds of your reply Ronnie: fuck off Joe: reckon he's over you getting the sack now Ronnie: not everythings about that mary Ronnie: & he aint my keeper Joe: just your mum, I got the message Ronnie: he reckons he can baby me it aint the same thing Joe: he's older than you yeah Ronnie: youve got a sister other than me dont act like you cant get your head round it Joe: not really my M.O. Ronnie: special yeah Joe: she's got a dad and another brother happy enough to oblige Ronnie: i dont need to puke up my good time Joe: thought your stomach and nerve were meant to be stronger than that Ronnie: whatever you think about me is bullshit baby Joe: just what you've put out there Ronnie: & yours is heroics just warning you this aint no od like Ronnie: aint gotta press eject Joe: you're typing Joe: don't think anyone knows you well enough to commit to the impression here Ronnie: talking Ronnie: everyone knows idle hands are dangerous Ronnie: but that dont mean i gotta keep em busy typing Joe: yeah Joe: know the feeling Ronnie: its used to my accent & everything Ronnie: more than i can say for the live cunts here Joe: you in 💘 with your phone that's dead cute Joe: its worse when you're angry Ronnie: not in 💘 with kent Ronnie: your girlfriend proper missold it Joe: fuck off are you in kent 😂 Ronnie: fucked you over if you were gonna come carry me out again Joe: acting like you didn't ask Joe: if you're going to now, do it, like Ronnie: if you dump her back home who the fucks keeping the leccy on Joe: only got a baby habit ain't I Ronnie: what so youre carrying me out & dumping me where Ronnie: anywhere near & im taking your money shithead Joe: we don't need electric Ronnie: how will you get off on me wearing your mams face in the dark Joe: would hate to waste your hard work, obviously Ronnie: what hard work Joe: liberating my mums face from her skull Ronnie: be my pleasure Ronnie: all play Joe: alright then Joe: i'll be able to keep up Ronnie: big talk for a 12 year old virgin Joe: hiding it kent you can't talk or type about it Ronnie: im not fucking hiding Joe: yeah right Ronnie: plain sight baby Joe: 40 miles Ronnie: & Joe: if you wanna play, you're gonna have to give me another clue Joe: know if i'm getting warm Ronnie: [a blurry picture clue] Ronnie: 💘 Joe: they new friends or old Ronnie: waste of a question Joe: how many do i have left Ronnie: 39 but if you need that many dont fucking bother Joe: you don't wanna disappointed so bad Ronnie: you disappoint me by coming out the same hole Joe: that don't have to matter Joe: plenty have Ronnie: yeah but i aint met the rest of your happy family Joe: you wanna Ronnie: 38 now Joe: it could've been a statement Ronnie: was it Joe: 39 for you Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: you wanted to go to the beach Ronnie: that a question or what soft lad Joe: ?* Ronnie: didnt know there was 1 Joe: it's a county you know Ronnie: how the fuck would i know that Ronnie: shut up Joe: do you wanna go to the beach Ronnie: i can drown you in the sink Joe: i didn't put you in the shower Joe: or your phone Ronnie: youd have been made up by how blue i went though Ronnie: well like a dead girl Joe: yeah? Joe: what's it feel like Ronnie: youll get your own go Ronnie: aint holding your hand forever like Joe: gutted Ronnie: you wont reckon so when you outgrow that baby habit Joe: i'd mind if you died Ronnie: give you something to cry about Ronnie: youd be fucking into it Joe: nah Joe: people who've got shit to mope on usually don't Joe: enjoy it too much don't I, can't be having it validated, takes the fun out Ronnie: most dont reckon a happy end would be cumming inside their ma Ronnie: youd enjoy having a reason to celebrate or trauma bond depending on her fucking take Joe: our mate freud would disagree Joe: she'd wear black for the rest of her life, if that's what you wanna hear Joe: but counting it as a question, 38 Ronnie: why the fuck would i wanna hear that Ronnie: be boss for her if she never shifted her bastard baby weight like Joe: 37 unless it's rhetorical Joe: i dunno what will make you feel better Ronnie: 38 wasn't a question in the first place you just counted it cause youre a cheating lil bitch Joe: what's the prize and why do you want it so much Ronnie: use your imagination fucks sake Ronnie: why do you always want your hand held Joe: waste of a question Joe: 'cos I'm such a mummy's boy duh Ronnie: if shed let you walk into the road i wouldnt be answering any of your pussy questions Ronnie: 💔 Joe: be a lot easier for all of us Joe: i'll throw myself in front of the tube, fuck up everyone's day Ronnie: ill pick myself up from kent then yeah Joe: oh so you've claimed selfish have you Ronnie: no shit nancy drew Ronnie: fitz is still crying that i 💉 you up Joe: bless Joe: you're not claiming what got me there Ronnie: cant i wasnt fucking there Joe: then don't feel guilty Ronnie: dont fucking flatter yourself Ronnie: could care less Joe: you who's trying Ronnie: taking away a question if youre gonna lie Joe: not 12, not a virgin, don't need you to hold my hand Joe: i wanted to and want to Ronnie: made up horse girl took it while i was away Joe: yeah Ronnie: get yourself checked for 🐴 aids or whatever Joe: could care less is right Ronnie: bullshit youll be gutted if you dick falls off before you put it in your ma Joe: talking about how much you do Ronnie: what are big sisters for Ronnie: ask the other one & hell stutter round how much i dont too Joe: it's not the same Ronnie: you aint special mckenna how many times Ronnie: let your ma feed you that bullshit Ronnie: & fuck knows what youve already caught from my blood Joe: bit late for warnings Ronnie: you had one first time we met like Ronnie: got eyes Joe: exactly Joe: i'm not gonna take the hint Ronnie: too subtle for you yeah Joe: if you think you could be any more blatant Joe: have fun trying Ronnie: i am Ronnie: kent dont know what hit it Joe: i bet Joe: where have you been but some strangers doss house then Joe: and that is a question Ronnie: fuck knows Ronnie: been a blur Joe: you know its about 1,500 square miles yeah Joe: remember one landmark Ronnie: you know youre only getting any fucking answers cause im coming down Joe: we don't have to play this game Joe: if you tell me where you are, you'll be picked up quicker and then you can get whatever you need Ronnie: [a location, lord only knows] Joe: alright Ronnie: for you getting high of your bullshit heroics Joe: if it makes you feel better that you need rescuing Ronnie: do i fuck Joe: then you just wanna see me Joe: either way Ronnie: shut up Joe: what's better for you? Ronnie: your money then your life Joe: very adam ant Joe: and can be arranged Joe: even though you don't have a horse or a car so I'm more of a highwayman than you Ronnie: i aint getting on your gilfriends horse i know where its been Joe: 😏 Joe: you can just admit she's more up for it than you Ronnie: admit youre fucking brain damaged Ronnie: let her be up for hand holding & playing house Joe: what are big sisters for Ronnie: beating the shit out of you Joe: look forward to it Ronnie: yeah youve missed me Joe: not afraid to say it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: no names & you can play it for any bitch Joe: thanks for the hot tip Joe: kill some time on this drive Ronnie: shouldve stuck your judy in the boot Ronnie: be eye spy & red car the whole fucking way Joe: haven't put the plastic sheet down Joe: 💔 short notice Ronnie: so torch it Ronnie: i know youve always got a lighter on you Joe: what gave it away Ronnie: ive got eyes baby Joe: try not to wear it on my sleeve though Ronnie: done a shit job there Joe: why do you show yours off Ronnie: whats the point of only feeling it on the inside Joe: doing it is feeling it on the outside Ronnie: im what they fucking made me they can look at it Joe: that makes sense Joe: yeah Ronnie: what the hell are you scared of Joe: I dunno Joe: doesn't feel like fear Joe: blending in or disappearing has always been preferable Ronnie: & you have the balls to reckon im hiding here Joe: it ain't hiding if no fucker's looking Joe: easier for them and me, like Ronnie: if you gave a shit about easier you wouldnt have looked for me Joe: it was last-ditch attempt Joe: see if you were the same, like all of them too Joe: or not Joe: and you're not Ronnie: cause she ditched me Joe: maybe Ronnie: i didnt have the luxury of blending in Joe: it's not a luxury Ronnie: not when you have it Ronnie: care kids dont Joe: not at all Joe: it was a necessity to not blow my brains out and all i ended up was cracked and wishing i had Joe: you didn't have a family to not belong in Ronnie: & you did em such a massive fucking favour by not ending it all yeah Ronnie: i dont know you or fucking care & i can tell youre desperate to Joe: if she can't get over you, and she never stuck around to know you Joe: it's fuck all to do with the person and everything to do with the label Joe: son, brother Joe: you're meant to care even if life is better or basically the same without Ronnie: good fucking thing i like downers Ronnie: youd ruin an e Joe: cheers Ronnie: get over her for fucks sake Ronnie: keep saying youre not 12 Joe: didn't have that luxury Ronnie: loads more cunts willing to fuck you over Ronnie: live a little like Joe: yeah that'll make it worth it Joe: dead inspirational Ronnie: try your other sister Joe: i'm sure she'd have even more helpful advice Ronnie: take it then Ronnie: ill kill you before i give you a reason to live Joe: you know i ain't fucking looking for one Ronnie: yeah Joe: you need anything Ronnie: i didnt tell you were to get fuck all out of it Joe: apart from a lift Ronnie: what do you reckon Joe: kk Ronnie: 💘 Joe: still not healed Joe: also looks like jobn now Ronnie: anything to make you feel special baby Joe: what I reckon Ronnie: i didnt reckon ocd made you that delusional Ronnie: but when you change it to say jobs youll blend right in Joe: not quite as fitting as when johnny did it Ronnie: whats your girlfriends name Joe: i'll find one to make it fit Joe: josie or jody maybe Ronnie: 💔 no decent gear has a girls name Joe: girls like to party not nod out Joe: gutted Ronnie: ive got a lads name i get why youre confused Joe: you didn't wanna change it Ronnie: you offering up the cash Joe: bit of a waste Joe: just for the paperwork Ronnie: yeah it is Joe: you dunno what to pick Ronnie: swear words aint allowed Joe: don't matter if you're just doing it, telling new people it's your name like Ronnie: not an underage tranny Joe: right Ronnie: bit fucking late now Joe: youre attached Ronnie: i dont care Joe: yeah Ronnie: not what i hate her for Joe: it's a lesser sin Joe: and not the worst name Ronnie: if thats your way of trying to namedrop the others, dont Joe: why would I Ronnie: i dont know you cant really answer why youd do fuck all Joe: i don't need to ask if you want to know them Ronnie: like their names are gonna tell me who they are Joe: like you care Ronnie: like thats ever stopped you Joe: I can't un-find you Joe: but I'm not going to force you to meet any of them or know any more than what's been said Ronnie: no fixed address remember Ronnie: cant make it much fucking easier for you Joe: no, you can't Ronnie: stop crying then Ronnie: you can do better than a car crash Joe: do better Ronnie: yeah like washing up on the beach Ronnie: keep every cunt guessing how you died Joe: see how many beaches I can end up on Ronnie: dead romantic Joe: you can have fun with the hacksaw anyway Joe: least I could do Ronnie: you dont owe me Joe: i do Ronnie: for what Joe: for finding you when you didn't want finding Ronnie: you got the wrong bastard Ronnie: loads of others would be made up Joe: would they? Joe: regardless, I did it for me Ronnie: fuck off trying to take selfish off me Joe: 😏 Ronnie: been a few days since ive used a phone as a weapon Ronnie: keep on if you want it chucked at you Joe: you've promised better than that Ronnie: course you cant last through the foreplay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: you fucking wish soft lad Joe: you wish i wished Ronnie: i fucking dont Joe: alright Ronnie: keep the 🕯🌹 for your girlfriend like Ronnie: fuck all i can do with soft Joe: lighters and poppies suit me better as well Ronnie: next tattoos then Ronnie: dont know if itll look like a poppy but fuck it Ronnie: ill cut it out if you dont like it Joe: even if we avoid the sleeve, still a lot of skin to ruin Joe: are you just going over now Ronnie: waste of a question Ronnie: theres fuck all you can do Joe: what, my scribbles weren't a masterpiece compared to your boyfriends Ronnie: told you get what you pay for mckenna Ronnie: & that i dont get hard for mozart & the like Joe: weren't gonna score a symphony on you but alright Joe: no touching Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you & your baby habit dont score Joe: just pays Ronnie: dead comforting when i get robbed & left in a kent ditch Joe: it'll be the nicest ditch you've ever been in Ronnie: squatters rights Joe: my bed ain't comfy enough Ronnie: its the fact that its yours making me wanna hang myself with a sheet Ronnie: should say its too soft like you though shouldnt i Ronnie: gutted i fucked that up like Ronnie: we were playing so nice Joe: yeah, goldilocks suits Ronnie: unless your hair has fallen out Joe: I've not pulled it out either Joe: or soph, like Ronnie: not enough like a mane for her Joe: 💔 Joe: if only she'd have known me a few years ago Ronnie: get the family album out shell be made up Joe: shed a tear over our lack of horse Joe: sympathy fuck is better than none yeah Ronnie: the lack of me will really get her going Ronnie: had the pity eye fuck soon as i showed up Joe: she's an empath, babe, why she's so good at art Joe: lack of you might be an issue for me though Ronnie: another word for nosy cunt Joe: undoubtedly Joe: if i could sum up what was wrong with me for her I would Joe: but guess she likes the guessing Ronnie: if she was scouse shed just fucking come out with it Joe: gobshites, yeah Ronnie: what you get for having girlfriends who aint even wool Ronnie: self hatred making you go posh about it Joe: my last actual girlfriend was Ronnie: & youre claiming her Joe: not still writing songs about her Joe: well, never was Ronnie: shell still be 💔 Joe: nah Ronnie: you keep her waiting this long or am i that special Joe: you don't even know how far you've gone from london Joe: you're nearly 2 hours away Ronnie: if youre sticking to the speed limit Ronnie: stop being a pussy Joe: meet me and the car in the next ditch over Ronnie: more hand holding for fucks sake Joe: more than that if you want that lift Joe: have to drag the car out and hotwire it Joe: scrape me off the windshield Ronnie: i told you to stop getting me & what im into Joe: maybe i'm trying really hard Ronnie: far as hurting yourself goes thats the shittest way to have a go Joe: 💔 too weak Ronnie: keep your limp wrists on the steering wheel Ronnie: i wanna get out of here Joe: 😏 Joe: in a bit then Joe: got speeding to do and if you won't shut up Ronnie: youd have to try harder to make me Ronnie: that aint fucking likely Joe: only have to ask Joe: not nice or nothing Ronnie: i dont ask for handouts theyre given to me on account of all those mental problems ive got Joe: wouldn't it be nice to be the one doing the charity work for once Ronnie: if thats the only high youre offering me turn the fuck around Joe: not that daft Ronnie: your ma tell you that Joe: loads Ronnie: her judgements for shit not getting rid of us both with a hanger Joe: agreed Ronnie: dont put a kid in her shed only keep that one too Joe: still raising the last one Ronnie: like thatd stop her Ronnie: no fucking time wasted Joe: she did stop Joe: hence the 9 year gap oopsie baby Ronnie: reckon shed know what causes it by then Joe: Ireland got to her I guess Ronnie: dead keen for my invite now Joe: put it across as a valid form of contraception Joe: chlamydia Joe: they'd go for it Ronnie: worked for me Joe: postergirl Ronnie: 💔 there was no need to sew myself up Ronnie: be more fun than whichever fuck gave me it Joe: god willing Ronnie: your catholic one would be dead willing Joe: you're thinking of the wrong over-zealous christian country Ronnie: not on the right drugs for that kind of bullshit thinking Joe: 🍄 Joe: look out for cowshit whilst you're waiting Ronnie: that determined for me to see the sights yeah Joe: can't waste such an opportunity Ronnie: 🖕 watch me Joe: kent only comes calling so many times, like Joe: your choice Ronnie: shell be taking you every time uni gives you time off Joe: i'm good for it Ronnie: its well cute that you reckon youve got any say Ronnie: possessive type i heard Joe: 😏 Ronnie: she changed the 🔒 on your room yet Joe: keep you in or out? Ronnie: reckon it ended at the pity eye fuck for me & her Joe: 💔 Ronnie: yeah Joe: i'll talk her 'round for you Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont need you to translate for me Ronnie: we got the money your carer role is over Joe: it's all in the eyes, I heard you Joe: not patronizing on your deep relationship Ronnie: shut up Joe: 🤐 Ronnie: & drive faster Joe: 👌 Ronnie: fucking hell i can see why shes fucking obsessed with you Joe: if you want chat Joe: definitely in the wrong place Joe: she don't need to know my ears aren't listening to hers Ronnie: she already knows you do what youre told without talking back Ronnie: like a battered wife Joe: anything for an easy 💀 Ronnie: youre coming to the right place for that Ronnie: but i wont tell her Joe: it's not a reportable crime Ronnie: im not a snitch & i can wear shades if she tries to eye fuck her way to finding fuck all out Joe: dunno if that's enough of a disguise but I don't care Joe: a habit, she could say something about that Joe: but the rest Ronnie: what rest Ronnie: you only want a habit Joe: speak for yourself Ronnie: im echoing you Ronnie: you fucking said it Joe: you know it's not true though Ronnie: youre full of shit yeah Joe: yeah Joe: you too if you wanna pretend about it Ronnie: i dont play pretend im not a fucking kid Joe: good Joe: then you know what's happening here Ronnie: [a picture or video of whatever is happening where she is, lord knows] Joe: you don't have to reciprocate, dickhead Joe: no need to try and make me crash Ronnie: thought youd grown a set of balls & had em drop while ive been here Ronnie: what it sounded like Joe: how olds the other one Joe: he looks younger than me Ronnie: didnt do a survey Joe: I mean your mate, I don't know his name Joe: not Charlie Ronnie: 17 Joe: he must've been a baby when you met, like Ronnie: whats your point Joe: ain't got one Joe: just wondering Ronnie: youre not his type Joe: he's not mine Ronnie: stop wondering then Joe: why? Ronnie: hes fuck all to do with you Ronnie: your mam didnt push him out Joe: not trying to get to know him over you Ronnie: then why do you care Joe: same age as my brother Joe: and the girl my parents took in, one of Joe: that's it Ronnie: here we fucking go Ronnie: you said you werent gonna do that Joe: you kept asking Ronnie: cause i dont want you fucking nonce my brother Ronnie: give a fuck about yours Joe: 'cos you think I would, alright Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: i dont know what youd do Ronnie: dont fucking know you Joe: well I'm straight and entirely uninterested Ronnie: youre also full of shit Joe: why do you give a fuck Joe: I'm only a year older, if I wanted to, I would Ronnie: why do i give a fuck that you lied to me or about him Ronnie: go ed & wonder about it Joe: it weren't a lie Joe: shit changes Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about them that aint gonna change Joe: fine Ronnie: fuck you Joe: also fine Joe: sorry, alright Joe: it means fuck all Ronnie: its not fine Ronnie: & it means im gonna be running comparisons in my head Joe: just forget about it Joe: of course they're all around my age ish, it don't mean you know any more about them Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: it don't matter Ronnie: cause you get to tell me what matters too yeah Joe: come on Ronnie: you dont or what to fucking do either Joe: then what Joe: I said it, I said sorry Joe: you do what you must Ronnie: go home & give horse girl your sorry Joe: fuck that Joe: you still need to get back to London and I'm nearly there Ronnie: i got here i can leave here Joe: bullshit Ronnie: you wish Joe: well I'm still coming Ronnie: i dont care Ronnie: youve been going on about how big it is Ronnie: stay the fuck away from me Joe: Jesus fucking christ don't be such a pussy Ronnie: you fucking wish Joe: whatever Joe: this is going nowhere right now Joe: you know where to find me when you wanna actually do something about it Ronnie: your half arsed self destruction is going nowhere Ronnie: do something about that your fucking self instead of trying to bait me Joe: I'm still on my way Ronnie: kents full of real pussys you can save Ronnie: youll 💘 it Joe: I don't give a fuck, Ronnie Ronnie: why are you crying Ronnie: you fucked me over Joe: because this is a waste of time Ronnie: youre a junkie now get used to it Joe: at least I've got that Ronnie: youre welcome baby Joe: good luck finding decent shit in kent Ronnie: not going with you dont mean im staying here Joe: but I've got mine already Ronnie: you can have selfish Joe: I told you I was bringing more for you Joe: if you can get over it you can have your share Ronnie: ill take it over it not Ronnie: *or Ronnie: you cant fucking stop me Joe: say you want me to come then Joe: i know where you are, not the other way 'round Ronnie: youre the liar mckenna Ronnie: i dont want you to be anywhere Joe: then why should I come and share Joe: that's a question Ronnie: you love heroics Joe: [show up at this point] Ronnie: [what a fun little reunion that'll be] Joe: [so, we know the vibes but also do we wanna pitch it out] Ronnie: [we totally can for our own amusement/in case a moment or something happens again] Joe: [so obviously he gets there and she's gonna be fuming hens, yeah?] Ronnie: [she gonna fight him lol enjoy that random peeps] Ronnie: [but that works cos like if someone takes that seriously instead of realising we just flirting with each other then they gotta go] Joe: [go away for some alone time to take your drugs somewhere, we voting beach] Ronnie: [yeah because realistically nobody will be there at this o clock unless they are likewise up for shady shit so it works for them as well as being romantic for us because has she been to the beach before probably not] Joe: [so unintentionallly wholesome] Ronnie: [try not to freak out immediately about that this time lads] Joe: [or OD again] Ronnie: [or freeze to death because when are you ever dressed for the weather gal] Joe: [have to stay close purely for warmth whoops] Ronnie: [can't pretend you're angry enough to be at the other end of the beach its not that deep] Joe: [shame it'll be too late to get fish n chips or something beach related but you can skim stones] Ronnie: [I wonder if there's anywhere you could break into because always a mood] Joe: [on a lot of seafronts they have those shelter moments that are boarded up you know what I mean] Ronnie: [yeah that was what I had in mind] Joe: [was that tracy beaker when jess and that girl were snuggled in there and tracy thought it was a lad lollol] Ronnie: [I loved that bit] Joe: [soz i've forgotten your name but that whole character and vibe was a mood, buzzing for the show/movie whatever they're doing] Ronnie: [a child Tess mood 100%] Joe: [fosho fosho, you're gonna have to sleep on this beach/his car 'cos not letting you drive in that state for that long yet tah] Ronnie: [we all know you're gonna be snuggling and I'm here for it, maybe you can get fish and chips in the am/when you wake up] Joe: [for breakfast lol, get all the sugary snacks as well like candy floss doughnuts, casual binge here like neither of you clearly eats much day to day] Ronnie: [healthwise you've both got bigger problems so we can allow it] Joe: [sugar high, living for unintentional wholesomeness lol] Ronnie: [love the childlike vibe always] Joe: [when I go the hunstanton with the gals, which is like, scummy seaside vibes you know, there's always rides there, but also there was like a tattoo hut where you could get actual tattoos for like a fiver and it looks so dubious lol] Ronnie: [omg that is amazing and we must] Joe: [you could get piercings too which might have him do just to mess with it] Ronnie: [we know she already has so likewise not gonna resist getting another, the more extra the better though placement wise cos we do love to shock joseph with our endeavours] Ronnie: [whack a tit out casually or whatever like] Joe: [lmao, dreading these infections hens] Ronnie: [I went to margate and all I got was this lousy tat and a persistent infection, put that on a t-shirt] Joe: [shame they only do flashes gals] Ronnie: [get some DIYing happening lads, we know that kind of thing is flirting for you] Joe: [the tension at this point like you've actually shown loads of restraint even though the opposite seems true lol] Ronnie: [lowkey not what anyone would expect of you which is why I like it] Joe: [mhmm not actually all doom and gloom even if we say and pretend it or what would be the point] Ronnie: [they'd actually be having such a lovely time and when was the last time either of them did, I'm fine about it yep] Joe: [truly, it ain't just about the drugs or any of the 'fucked up ness' from the off and that's the tea no one else be seeing] Ronnie: [mhmm and it wouldn't last how it does if it was] Joe: [connection huns] Ronnie: [the TENSION on this car journey back like don't crash tbh] Joe: [at least you can play really loud music and pretend that's distraction enough] Ronnie: [and play with your new injuries] Ronnie: [lowkey bonding even more about your love of music though we see you] Joe: [mhmm, when it's not all classical obvs 'cos you aren't Rosaline] Ronnie: [probably drop her at Charlie's hun cos otherwise something is gonna happen] Joe: [hope you brought him some rock but i know you did not lol, go make friends again, you go think 'bout your life joseph] Ronnie: [probably stole him a postcard that you've written some bants on to slide under his door] Joe: [that's cute, hilarious over-sexual postcard as they always are] Ronnie: [yeah exactly and then he knows you're back so you can talk or whatever you're gonna do to clear the air] Joe: [that's this era in general we know the vibe]

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heatherwanderer · 5 years

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Once I was homeless, alone, scared, cold and hungry. I tried so hard to never beg or ask for anything, I would scramble to turn in cans for money for food every day. Some days there wasn’t enough cans and I went hungry. I stayed away from the homeless shelters since there weren’t a lot that had very many spaces for women, especially if you didn’t have kids, most of the homeless shelters had 90% men ratio and I just didn’t want to be around them as many were suffering mental illness, drug or alcohol addiction and that was scary for a young teenager to face. So I would forgo eating in order to be safe. I remember one day around christmas a group came through the homeless areas and gave out blankets and socks. I was so warm that night. Another night a group came through with sandwiches and hot cocoa. I remember vividly how amazing those days were, how human I felt and how much I appreciated it.

I remember one day even though I didn’t ask, someone came up to me and pressed a 5 dollar bill into my hand and said “merry christmas”. I literally cried tears of real joy, standing on a street corner clutching a wrinkled 5 dollar bill.

Five dollars meant that I could pay for enough food for me and several homeless friends I had made over my weeks on the streets, we would all eat well that freezing night, we all got to stay inside as we slowly sipped our coffees and stay warm for a few hours. It was a wonderful moment of happiness in a time of dire stress, to just be warm and safe with friends, drinking a 50 cent cup of coffee and talking just like we were normal patrons, with jobs, houses, and families to go home to. A brief moment of almost normalcy in the bleak world we actually lived in.

Eventually my situation changed, I moved on and was no longer homeless. I remember back these many decades later how much that 5 dollars meant to me and I think now if I had only 5 dollars, what could I buy with it that would possibly give me as much joy and hope as that 5 did back then? That’s why, though I’m not a rich person by any means, if I see a person in genuine need I pay it forward as much as I am able to. Maybe they’re an addict and they’ll use it to fuel their addiction or maybe they’re genuinely on their last thread of hope and that moment of kindness will fuel them a little longer til they too can get off the streets.

I can’t judge in the 2 minutes of meeting a homeless person which direction they’ll go, but I can vividly remember the time someone looked at me and in 2 minutes decided to give me hope and a little change.

#be kind #homeless #hope #I remember

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shooter-nobunagun · 4 years

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Quarantine UST 5

//Seriously, writing for such a sustained stretch is...unprecedented...I think I haven’t done this since the beginning of my intro into this fandom. Maybe this period of time is good for something after all.

And yes, I definitely binged my way through FF7R as soon as it came out...

The days seemed to pass in a blur; yet as Sio woke up after another night of binging Netflix with Jess, it felt like nothing had changed, either. She’d adjusted to the rhythm of her new life fairly well: sleep in until 10am or so, leisurely troop downstairs for breakfast after brushing her teeth⁠—usually Adam was already up and frying some eggs, or sometimes they picked up coffee and pastries from a local cafe⁠—clean up, then she might go for a walk outside or spent some time in the yard while catching up on emails and texts from her family and Asao-san. By then, Jess and Mahesh were usually awake, and they’d all gather again for lunch (or in the other twos’ case, brunch), and afterwards Sio usually would do her training, either by herself or under Adam’s watchful guidance. Then it was free time (which usually involved another stroll outside), dinner, sometimes a group activity, and then everybody retired to their rooms for the night.

Recently, the group started venturing out a bit more; at first it was just to the local cafe for drinks and snacks, but yesterday the group’d gone for another grocery run, this time at the farmer’s market. Even with all the restrictions in place, Sio was glad to be able to spend some time outdoors again, and picking from the wide variety of fresh produce was much more fun than going to the grocery store.

Yawing, the sniper continued lounging in her bed, absentmindedly scrolling through her texts from last night. Her parents were doing okay (actually most of Japan seemed alright by comparison) though obviously they were concerned about her health and safety. Asao-san’s latest couple of messages contained the usual news and gossip, although the last one before she signed off left the sniper blushing and covering her face.

[Asao Kaoru]: By the way, how are things with Jack-san? You two seem to be getting awfully close... (ΦωΦ)~ Did you get any more peeks in during training?

“Moou, Asao-saaaan!! I-It’s not like, that!” The sniper screeched, tugging her hair. “Jeeze, why does everybody keep assuming we’re gonna...hook up or something like that...”

Admittedly, her own brain wasn’t helping matters; at this point, she’d given up on denying her attraction towards him⁠—besides her nightly little ritual, she’d already had at least one...steamy dream involving him and no clothing. “Ugh...why do I have to make things so complicated...”

‘I just want to get to know him better, not get a crush on him! Besides, knowing him, he probably has a girlfriend waiting for him back in London. Or at least, had one...unlike me...’ A cool, good-looking guy like him who was the epitome of the tall, dark and handsome type? Sio looked down at her own flat chest, unfashionable haircut and childish face, and sighed. ‘Yeah right; I’d never stand a chance. He’s probably got way more experience and prefers girls who look like Newton...’

The thought depressed her more than she expected; even though she knew her chances were slim, and that shacking up with your platoon leader probably wasn’t the best idea, the thought of not getting any closer than just friendly teammates made her heart sink straight to the ground. ‘I know I’m just a below-average high schooler, and I don’t even have anything going for me except my e-gene; but even I can still hope, right...?’

She moped about all through her morning routine, not really bothering to fix her hair or wear anything aside from putting on a pair of shorts (why bother, it wasn’t like she was cute or anything). Walking into the quiet kitchen, she pulled out a box of cereal and some milk, sullenly eating her cold breakfast.

“Good morning, Sio dear. Oh goodness, is something the matter? You’re looking awfully peaked...you don’t feel ill, do you?” Jess came down the stairs, Sio a bit surprised as it was unusual for the blonde to be up before noon. “Hmm, you don’t seem feverish...”

“Oh, good morning, Jess-san.” She heaved another sigh, not really interested in finishing the rest of her soggy bowl. “It’s, nothing...I’m not sick, I guess I just feel...”

“The quarantine blues?” The sniper nodded, and the blonde patted her shoulder sympathetically. “There there, it’s perfectly normal. Things are unprecedented, you can’t expect to keep your spirits up all the time in a situation like this.”

“Yeah, well...I guess I’m surprised I’d let it get to me. I mean, all things considered, it’s not like we’re suffering or anything. There’s a lot of people who have it way worse than us...”

‘Yeah, and here I am moping about because I have the hots for my platoon leader even though I don’t stand a chance...’

Jess nodded in sympathy. “Definitely, I can see that. But you know, that doesn’t mean you can’t feel bad, either. I can’t say the past week has been much of a vacation, despite what Mahesh likes to claim. Feeling down about everything that’s been going on is understandable, and it isn’t healthy to pretend otherwise.”

“True...thanks, Jess-san...um, I guess it does feel a little better to talk about it.” Sio stirred her cereal a bit, surprised that she was finally having a true conversation with the blonde that didn’t involve a fear of tongues and kisses (mostly).

“Of course, dear. I apologize for my earlier behaviors...but I am still serious when I say I do want to be there for you, should you ever want another ear,” the blonde smiled kindly at the younger girl. “By the way, where is Adam? Don’t tell me he’s still asleep?”

“Eh? Adam-san...uh, I dunno. He’s usually here by the time I wake up, so...” Sio shrugged. “It’s not like I checked his room, but maybe he went out for something?”

As if on cue the front door unlocked, both girls turning around as Adam walked in, bag in one hand and a tray of drinks in the other. Sio rushed out to the foyer to help him unload and disinfect the door, keys, etc.

“Speak of the devil; we were just wondering about you,” Jess commented as Adam finally took his seat at the table. “New place this time?”

“Yeh; was checking out local places online yesterday and thought this might be a nice change of pace.” He passed out the drinks; only Mahesh’s chai latte remained untouched as the trio started unwrapping pastries and other baked goods. “Ogura, you’re alright with tea, correct? They didn’t seem to have anything like sencha, but I got jasmine, if that’s okay.”

“Oh, yes please; and thank you, Adam-san. You could’ve waited for us to get up,” Sio offered as she took a sip of her beverage. “I kinda feel bad for making you go all by yourself...”

“Eh, it’s fine. Even I like taking a break from cookin’ once in a while.” Their leader shrugged as he drank his coffee (pure black, no sugar or cream). “Besides, it’s nice to get some fresh air when it’s early in the morning. Also less folks t’ dodge...swear to god, every time we go out it’s like playing a game of Frogger...”

Sio sweatdropped, but it was true; as much as she cherished her daily walks, there was a reason why she preferred running on the treadmill. Trying to avoid other passerby who were also exercising or walking their dogs and also not getting run over by traffic... It was a good thing the yard was decently sized, and the days were slowly starting to warm up. The sniper glanced out the windows, where the golden rays were starting to bathe the garden with their yellow hues.

“Actually, I’m gonna eat out in the garden. The weather’s been so pleasant lately, might be nice for a change.” She took her tea and croissant with her; to her surprise, Adam followed. “Oh? Did you...also want to eat outside?”

“Why not; like you said, today seems to be shaping up to be pretty nice...would be a shame to spend it all indoors, again,” he gave her just a the slightest hints of a smile, and Sio felt her stomach fluttering with butterflies. Maybe she wasn’t insane for thinking it would be possible? Maybe?

“U-Um, s, so, how was the rest of the city?” She was stuttering again, much to her dismay; didn’t she get over this already?

Adam didn’t seem to notice, or at least, he didn’t comment on it. “Hm, mostly the same; not that many folks about, but all the better for me. At least we can still get takeaway and drinks.” He finished the rest of his cup. “I was surprised Jess’ up so early; usually she and Mirza sleep ‘til past noon...”

“Heh, me too.” Sio grinned as she finished her croissant. “Mm, this croissant is super flakey...so good...” If it weren’t for their training and exercise, she was sure she’d have gained at least 5 pounds by now. Even in the midst of a pandemic, San Francisco’s culinary scene did not disappoint; and that wasn’t even counting their cooking nights.

“To be honest, I’m more surprised you’ve been able to stick to a decent wake-up time every morning,” Adam teased, “considering someone always had to wake you for a morning meeting back at the Logan...”

The sniper nearly spit her tea back out. “H-Hey! Well, you’re always banging on my door every other morning anyway for some thing or other...so I figured, I might as well just save us both the trouble and get up anyway,” she pouted, cheeks tinged with pink. “Besides, those meetings were way early; if there’s one thing that’s better about this, is that I can at least sleep in a little...”

Adam smirked behind his sandwich, glad the sniper couldn’t see his face. For if she could, he was sure she’d be able to notice the warm flush spreading across his features, including his ears (mercifully hidden by his hair). She was adorable, really; the innocence of a girl, yet she was surprisingly insightful and able to see a clear line from point A to B, without being bogged down by details. ‘Not to mention that wit, when she actually works up the courage to talk back,’ he noted, recalling many of their previous conversations where she’d sparred with him using nothing but words.

Cunning, intuitive, determined and sincere; it was amazing how quickly his opinion of her changed, not just since she joined but even from the beginning of this quarantine. Hardly any of her quirks seemed detrimental now; silly at most, and charming at best. Was this what poets meant by love causing you to see everything through a rose-tinted lens? Even her appearance, which most people would probably consider average at best, gave him a flurry of feelings whenever he thought about them: large, round maroons, that cute bob with uneven bangs that could probably use a trim soon, and her slender, lithe figure... Adam swallowed and tried to turn his mind away from more lustful thoughts, but it was useless. It was obvious she was probably the most flat-chested female holder next to Geronimo, but it didn’t detract his attentions at all; if anything, he felt it suited her quite well. Once he’d caught a glimpse of those salacious photos Capa had distributed, and they gave him a bit of a shock—her willowy frame saddled with two huge water balloons that seemed to defy gravity, nevermind the fake, prancing-around poses the clones took.

All-in-all, good things definitely come in small packages, he decided. In fact, the smaller the better. Sio wasn’t that short, but her slight frame made it seem so, especially compared to him. He’d never paid attention, but Adam was sure the sniper would probably be just the right size for spooning, cuddled between his arms and those petite breasts could fit just right in his palms—

‘Hoo boy, stop right there Adam; you should not be thinking of your fellow holder in such a manner...’ But even his inner consciousness sounded half-hearted, as if it were just repeating things because that’s what was expected. And maybe it was right; even now, he still quarreled with himself on whether or not he should even pursue anything beyond friendly camaraderie with the girl. Her ambiguous feelings towards him aside, what if they got in trouble? What if it ended up interfering with their duties as e-gene holders? Or worse yet, what if it didn’t work out and the subsequent fallout ended up destroying their entire platoon?

“Adam-san?” He jerked up at her voice, having been lost in his own turmoil for the past couple of minutes. “Are you okay? You seem kind of...glum.”

You’re not wrong there, he almost said, but only shook his head. “Nah; just thinking about...stuff.”

The sniper nodded. “Yeah, I get that...I’ve been, kinda thinking on a lot of stuff too...”

Now it was Adam’s turn to be surprised. “Oh? Somethin’ else botherin’ you lately?”

“Ah uh, I mean nothing really...specific,” Sio squirmed, caught off-guard by his question. There was no way she could admit her burgeoning feelings for him. “I just...guess the whole pandemic situation is kind of getting to me, even though all things considered, this isn’t that terrible. But somehow things just feel...off.”

“Yeh, I get that too, sometimes. But I mean, this isn’t exactly a normal situation; people are sick and dying, we’re stuck in this house and still have to do our best to try and maintain a ‘normal’ life—and that’s not even counting the Objects mounting another attack at any minute.” Adam cut into the remainder of his muffin with a knife. “It’s normal to feel distressed about it—hell, I think I’d be more concerned if you weren’t...”

The sniper nodded, though she didn’t seem keen on finishing the rest of her pastries now, instead fiddling around with her fork. Adam felt a bit guilty; he hadn’t meant to ruin her nice garden breakfast with something gloomy like the virus. Especially not after they’d managed to have a normal, decent conversation.

“Hey uh, squirt? Y’know, if you need some time to yourself, you can skip your training for today,” he offered, the sniper blinking in surprise.

“Oh...I-I mean, it’s fine, you don’t have to make an exception for me; it’s not like I physically feel bad or anything...”

“Don’t worry about it; I wouldn’t want you around that equipment when you’re all distracted like this, anyway. Last thing we need is an accident,” Adam muttered. To be sure, she’d definitely improved quite a bit, but sometimes he still did worry about her.

“...Are you saying you don’t trust me to handle myself?”

“...I’m just taking precautions.”

“Hnnn...” Sio didn’t say anything more, instead sullenly sipping the rest of her tea.

Adam sighed inwardly. Why were girls so fickle to deal with at times? “...By the way, not sure if you’re interested, but one of our other care packages finally arrived, and they got our request for a game console plus some of the latest games, so...”

He didn’t finish, but Adam could tell by the way her eyes gleamed the second he mentioned the word Playstation. ‘Ah, so she’s also a gamer...’ Somehow he wasn’t surprised; it seemed natural that a military otaku would also be into video games, though he was curious if she played genres other than shooters or military sims.

“...What sort of games did they send?”

“Oh, I haven’t gone through them myself yet, but I’d assume a pretty wide variety...why, was there anything in particular you’re looking forward to?” Adam replied nonchalantly, testing out the waters. Maybe this would be a good opportunity to spend some time with her in a casual setting...

“Nothing really, but I mean, if there’s something good...” Her eyes shifted a bit over the edge of her drink, meeting his for a second before they darted back down at her plate. “I’ve been hearing a lot about Apex Legends...the guys from the Fifth Platoon are always talking about it.”

“Hm; I’m not that interested in battle royale types; I was actually thinking more along the lines of action RPG or adventure...”

They surreptitiously looked at each other for a few more seconds, before Adam suddenly got up.

“...You wanna go take a look, squirt?”

“...Okay.”

The two fast-walked back into the house, rushing by Jess who looked at the two in surprise and a yawning Mahesh, whom Adam barely had time to point to his drink—“don’t blame me if it’s cold, it’s not my fault you slept in”—and straight into the living room, where the 70-inch flatscreen sat in pristine condition, having only been used as a Netflix machine thus far. The package was still unopened, Sio carefully wiping it down first as Adam sliced the box open with ease.

“Oooh, what’s this? Looks like a headset...wait, oh my god is this one of those VR things everyone’s been talking about?” Sio’s eyes glittered with excitement as she dug around. “Wow, I wanna try it out later!”

“Let’s see, here’s the PS4,” Adam carefully set the machine up, along with its cables, “and as for games...well, looks like they did include Apex Legends, so if you want to give it a shot squirt, go ahead. Other than that...Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, whatever the latest iteration of Call of Duty is, Devil May Cry 5—that might be fun—Monster Hunter: World, and...well well,” Adam let a low whistle, “what do we have here?”

Sio looked over his shoulder, eyebrow raised as she read the title. “Final Fantasy 7...wait, isn’t this game super old?”

“Look closer, squirt; it’s the remake. I don’t know how those bastards managed to pull it off with everything that’s going on, but I know what I’ll be playing tonight.” Adam tried not to sound too eager, but it was hard; Final Fantasy VII, while already dated by the time he was old enough to enjoy video games, was still considered a classic, and he’d secretly been hoping for a chance to play it as soon as it was announced.

Sio looked on in wonder as Adam diligently set the rest of the system up. He seemed much younger for a change, almost like a puppy instead of a wolf. His boyish enthusiasm was charming, and Sio felt like she was seeing a part of his true self, for once. It made her feel warm all over, but not in a horny way; rather, it was the joy of seeing him genuinely happy for once, instead of shouldering the burden of being their leader. ‘So I was right about him being a gamer...I knew that Metal Gear Rising t-shirt was more than just a coincidence.’

“Well, I guess I know what we’re playing then...” Now that everything was finally ready, she took a seat on the couch next to Adam; both sets of eyes now glued to the giant screen as the opening sequence panned over the in-game city of Midgar, the classic theme blasting from the speakers.

Though Sio didn’t know much about the Final Fantasy series (famous as it was, she preferred her games with more bullet-hell sequences and tanks), within a few minutes she could see why it was so revered, and why Adam was so excited. Movie-quality graphics aside, the action was tightly-paced and almost non-stop, Sio getting more engrossed herself as Adam deftly controlled the action on-screen. Before either of them knew it, it was past lunchtime; the only indication any time passed at all was Sio’s stomach complaining rather loudly after Adam finally got Cloud & co. past chapter 3.

“Whoa, I didn’t know it was so...cool,” Sio sat down to their late lunch (Chinese takeout), still in a bit of a daze at her mind replayed the action sequences and storyline. “No wonder it’s so popular...”

“Oh yeh; holy hell, they did a banger of a job remaking it,” Adam dug into the boxes with relish, barely paying attention to what was going into his mouth. “Shit, the graphics, characterization, soundtrack—and the overhauled ATB system is amazing—”

“I like the characters a lot! They look so realistic...well, as realistic as anime characters can get,” Sio mused, remembering the intro with one very well-rendered Cloud Strife. “So, I’m guessing you like a lot of JRPGs then...?”

Adam nodded. “I do, but I’ll play pretty much anything, honestly. I think the only genres I don’t do are racing and puzzles.” He shook his head, emptying the rest of his plate. “You? I prefer it when the action’s hot, bonus points if it’s got a great story.”

“Uh, I don’t play that many RPGs in general, but sometimes I do if it’s really good. But uh, yeah, I...prefer shooters like Ikaruga, or Biohazard—er, I think they call it Resident Evil outside of Japan? Oh, but there was that one series that came out a while ago, and I was surprised because I also liked the plot a lot...it’s called Bioshock?”

“Somehow, I’m not surprised to hear that; a military otaku like you, would be shocked if you didn’t have some type of shoot-’em-up as your top three,” Adam smirked, Sio laughing sheepishly. “Anyway, if you wanna start your own file while I’m working out, go ahead; like I said, you should take a break today, get some time in for yourself.”

“Ah—oh, uh, okay...thanks,” Sio trailed off as Adam left, presumably to change and then train. “Well...guess I’ll try playing by myself.”

The console booted up, and soon the sniper settled into a comfy pile of cushions, learning the battle system based on what Adam was doing earlier. While years of shooters—first person and otherwise—had honed her reflexes fairly well, Sio had to admit this system of ATB, materia, and character swapping was a bit of unknown territory. Luckily the game was generous with tutorials, but she still struggled a bit against her first real boss, after the beginning section was over. She groaned as the ‘game over’ screen flashed, kneading her temples.

“Man, I thought I had it! What happened...did I not use the right skills?”

“You might wanna check your materia slots, squirt. Those’ll matter a lot in the coming battles.”

A low, husky tone breathed right next to her ear, and Sio nearly jumped out of her skin. “Aaagggh! A-Adam-san, don’t do that! You scared the crap out of me...” She protested, hugging a pillow to her chest as Adam chuckled.

“Sorry squirt, but I was curious to see how you’d do. Didn’t wanna interrupt the fight, though seems like you’re gonna need to retool your party’s materia and gear first.” When he left, Adam was curious if the girl would continue playing Final Fantasy, or pop in another game. But it seemed Cloud Strife’s fabulous chocobo-locks had worked their magic, and he returned from training to find the sniper valiantly trying to defeat the motorcycle-crazy Rosche.

“Hrrm...I don’t really know what some of these descriptions mean. Magic I get, but things like MP up? Chakra?”

“Budge up a bit there, squirt, and I’ll give you some tips.” The sniper scooted to make room for the silver-haired man, as he plopped himself onto the couch and took the controller. “First off, always get HP up; more health never hurts. And then of course, healing...”

Sio nodded, but in reality she was only half paying attention. Adam was sitting right next to her, along with those chiseled muscles still glistening with sweat as his shirt clung to those washboard abs...swallowing thickly, she forced herself to listen to his advice, but even his scent was distracting; there was sweat, but it wasn’t offensive, mixed with a rather musky odor that she couldn’t quite place...

“—and this should be a pretty good setup,” Adam finished. “Uh, squirt? Ogura?” He snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Oy, snap out of it; what’s gotten into you?

“A-Ah—huh? Hai? I-I’m, fine...” Adam raised an eyebrow, but Sio snatched the controller back before anything else happened. “Th, Thanks for the advice...I think I’ll be able to get him this time...”

Adam blinked. “...Alright. Well, good luck then.”

‘Was she checking me out?’ Though he tried not to rouse suspicion as he left, he’d definitely noticed Sio staring at more than just the screen while he’d been redoing her party members. ‘And I’m pretty sure she wasn’t randomly looking around the house.’ Oh no. The sniper definitely had a long way to go if she wanted to be more discreet about her little voyeuristic habits.

The thought of their innocent little sniper actually being not-so-innocent made him hot all over again, and Adam groaned, because he knew this was the kind of heat that couldn’t be solved with simply a cold shower.

“Bloody hell...” ----- “Well, it sure seems like you two have found your quarantine activity,” Mahesh commented at dinner that night, both the sniper and the Ripper arriving long after the food arrived. “Sorry, we just went ahead and ordered some stuff we thought you’d enjoy.” He pushed their respective bentos towards the other two. “But it’s Japanese tonight, Sio, so hopefully it’s up to your standards.”

“Mmm...oh man, it’s so nice to eat Japanese food again...” Sighing with delight, Sio eagerly dug into her chicken karaage, potato salad and white rice. “A-Ah, that’s not to say the food we’ve been getting is bad or anything, it’s been really fun to try a lot of different cuisines and taste everybody’s home cooking too...”

“This is really good; I guess they weren’t kidding about San Francisco being a melting pot,” Adam nodded in approval. “Good thing DOGOO’s footin’ the bill...I wouldn’t fancy being the one having to pay for all this.”

“Just like they’re paying for all your gaming purchases?” Jess smiled knowingly at the other two, who proceeded to turn oddly pink. “What are you two playing anyway that’s got you so engrossed? It must be good, if you two are willing to skip dinner.”

“Oh, uh, it’s the latest Final Fantasy VII Remake! I’ve never played it before, but Adam has, and then I started playing it too and it’s just so good and the battles are super cool and it’s a lot of fun to play--” Sio started gesticulating wildly, chopsticks flinging rice haphazardly and Adam had to sternly remind her to not toss food everywhere.

“Oy squirt, calm down! Say it, don’t spray it.” He muttered, flicking a piece of rice off his shirt.

“And then they even sent a VR headset! Which I’m super curious about,” Sio finally finished her bento, so they could talk without the risk of food flying about. “You guys should try it out too! I-I mean, not that I’m forcing you two to play video games if you’re not interested...”

Mahesh hummed in amusement, looking at least mildly fascinated. “I’m probably a ‘casual’ gamer by yours and Adam’s standards, but I’d be willing to try out this virtual reality deal. I wonder how it compares with Capa’s illusions...”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Sio grimaced, still remembering all those inappropriate pictures Capa took (and then distributed, the nerve of him). “Pervy old man...”

“Well, certainly we won’t have to worry about that. Let’s all check it out, then; Jess, you in?”

The blonde nodded, though not without conceding that gaming wasn’t really her thing, but it might be fun to watch others.

“I’m more of an analogue girl; I don’t care that much for all those flashy explosions on screen, but bring me a set of Catan or Dixit and I’ll play any day.”

Now the entire squad was circled in the living room, the large windows open for some fresh, night air. After some rigging, Adam managed to figure out how to configure an output so those who weren’t wearing the headset could see what was going on, via his laptop.

“Alright, now who’s our first lucky contestant? Sio-chan, since you seem so excited, why don’t you go first?”

The sniper squeaked, not being used to put on the spot. “M, M-Me? U-Uh, I’ve been playing a lot of games today, s-so, why don’t you or Jess try it?” She laughed nervously, hoping they wouldn’t force her to take center stage.

“Yeh Mirza, you seem awfully eager to see how it works...why don’t you give it a whirl,” Adam goaded. Those dark eyes seem to meet his in a challenge, before the Indian resolutely put on the gear.

Everybody else watched eagerly as the screen loaded up. “Whoa; I’m not going to lie, the graphics aren’t photorealistic, but it sure feels like you’re somewhere else,” Mahesh gingerly stepped around, everyone suddenly giving him a wide berth as he set up the boundaries. “Please warn me if I’m about to run into something, or someone; I can’t exactly see anything in the real world...”

“I wonder if we’ll ever get to the point where it’ll feel even more like we’re inside a different world,” Sio said quietly to Adam, as Mahesh started playing a rhythm-action game called Beat Saber. “I don’t like Capa, but I have to admit his AU weapon is incredible. When I was doing those training exercises, it really felt like I was in a jungle, or in the middle of Shibuya...”

“Maybe; but I think we’ve got a ways to go,” Adam responded dryly, arching an eyebrow as the Indian flailed his arms all over the place. “...Definitely a ways to go.”

After a couple of tracks, Adam couldn’t take it anymore; seeing Mirza’s piss-poor coordination and timing destroyed any sense of fun or pleasure from the thumping EDM/techno tracks provided by the game. “Alright, you’ve had your fun. Let me give it a try.”

“More like Adam can’t stand Mahesh butchering those songs anymore,” Jess whispered, and Sio giggled. “He doesn’t like talking about his hobbies, but I know for a fact he’s into these music-type games. Who else do you think petitioned to get that dancing revolution machine installed in the Logan’s workout room...”

Before Sio could fully realize that statement, Adam took over. He selected a track that none of them had ever heard of before, and despite this being his first time playing, immediately notched the difficulty up to Hard. “Someone’s tryin’ to show off, eh?” Mahesh teased, but that didn’t seem to deter the silver-haired man one bit. If anything, Adam was laser-focused on the track before him, slicing through the colored blocks flying past with coordinated ease, as if he’d memorized the track beforehand.

“Whoa, he’s so good...how the heck does he know where to slice and stuff? I can barely keep up with what color they are, let alone what direction to hit,” Sio murmured, staring at the neon-colored action in awe. “There’s no way...he hasn’t played this before, has he?” She watched as Adam completed another combo streak, his multiplier at the max of 8x. “What the hell...”

Mahesh shrugged. “Who knows; I don’t think so, since VR is so new, but that’s Adam for you. Always full of hidden surprises...and probably some he hasn’t even revealed yet.” The trio watched in silence until Adam finished the track, with an impressive score of A, to their fervent applause.

“Well that was an ace performance! Especially for your first try.”

“No kidding; what, can you see the blocks before they appear or something? Sure you don’t have some hidden ability to see the future?” Jess jokingly suggested, though for some reason Adam flinched a bit at the statement.

“...Ha ha, real funny. If you must know, it helps a lot when you’re familiar with the song...”

“Eh? Adam-san, so you like this type of music, huh? Electronica?”

For some reason the sniper’s question made him blush, his cheeks turning even redder than they already were from the faux-workout. “Uh, yeh...I listen to a whole bunch of stuff, just so happens I recognized this track, and uh, decided to give it a go...”

“Now now, no need to be modest! Music or not, you really are good at this type of stuff. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised, given how skilled you are on the battlefield...” Mahesh praised.

“Yeh, and it’s a good thing you’re a defender-type, not an attacker; otherwise we’d be long dead already,” Adam replied sarcastically, making a jab at the Indian’s less-than-stellar hand-eye coordination. “Anyway, I’m headin’ up; that took more out of me than I expected, and I want a quick rinse before bed. G’night.”

“Oh uh, good night, Adam-san,” Sio watched curiously as he climbed up the stairs. “I wonder if he’s upset about something...it’s not that late,” she glanced at the clock, which just hit 10:30pm. “Maybe he’s tired.”

“Or, more like someone’s just bashful. Don’t worry Sio, he’s not offended. I just don’t think he’s the type who likes being the center of attention all of a sudden,” Jess mused, as Mahesh picked up the controls again. “Ironic, considering he’s our de facto platoon leader.”

“Well, you don’t have to be outgoing to be a leader, I guess.” Sio nodded, reaffirming her thoughts. Adam was not the smoothest talker, but he had a certain charisma, especially on the battlefield. While Nobunaga’s e-gene was invaluable for strategizing, she wouldn’t deny that Adam knew how to adapt and call the shots, especially in the heat of battle. It was the same type of charisma she felt now, that inexplicably drew her towards him, despite his stoicism and sometimes abrasive words.

‘Though, he’s definitely less harsh, now. Not just his words, but the way he acts, around everybody too...’

He was a kind person, she decided. Probably just not used to letting his guard down, and Sio had a feeling that was partly due to his childhood, of being alone and having to fend for himself. ‘Kinda like me, except I’m just super awkward and terrible with talking to people in general...’

“I liked that song he played...I don’t usually listen to music without lyrics, but it’s really catchy. I kinda wanna listen to it again...” Sio pondered as the rest of the group finally decided to retire for the night.

“Why don’t you go ask him?” Sio blinked in surprise as Mahesh sidled up next to her. “He said he’d heard it before, right? Maybe he can share it with you.”

“Ah, I—uh, I don’t, wanna bother him with something trivial like that...” She laughed nervously, though Mahesh simply winked at her. She stopped short of the attic staircase right before the room, and looked up. The door was already closed, and he was probably already asleep, but Mahesh’s suggestion repeated itself in her mind.

‘Actually, maybe I will...after all, why not. I’ll ask him tomorrow...what kind of music he likes...’

If she was lucky, maybe he’d even offer to let her listen to some. Flushing hotly at the thought, Sio quickly went into her room and dove underneath the covers.

‘Ah Sio...what are you getting yourself into now...’

#documentation #//herp #//yay video game #//also beat saber lol

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smol-and-grumpy · 4 years

Text

Light My Fire - CH18

Pairing: CEO!Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Flangst, NSFW

WC: 2335

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons <3

SERIES MATSTERLIST

BECOME A PATRON ~ BUY ME A COFFEE

Y/N’s getting dressed as everyone is meeting in their bungalow, as Dean received big fucking news.

News that could mean that this will all be over sooner than she thought it would be.

She’s not sure if she should be happy or sad about it. Maybe both. Happy that they finally have proof that Amara played a stupid fucking game. Sad that their arrangement will eventually come to an end. Does she regret it, though? No, she definitely doesn’t. It was a decision she made and she owes everything that comes with it.

The others were still at the bar when Dean called Sam and so everyone is coming with him. She just hopes that they are still sober enough to process the news.

Sam’s the first to come in and he starts to laugh, “Dude, it stinks of sex in here!”

Ruby giggles behind him.

Dean and Y/N both look at each other before they lower their heads. Sam’s not wrong and it is actually kind of embarrassing.

Jack is the last to come in, and if he heard Sam’s remark, he pretends he hasn’t. He closes the door behind him, while the others make themselves comfortable on the couch.

Y/N stands behind the couch and Jack comes to stand beside her. Dean’s paces around the room. The laptop is propped up on the little coffee table.

“Chuck called,” Dean says when they all have settled, “Look at this,” He hits play on his laptop and they all have their eyes trained on it. She looks too, even if she’s seen it three times already.

It’s security footage of Dean’s night in Vegas. The night he married Amara.

They can see Dean, Chuck and Amara sitting around a table. A waitress in a skimpy outfit approaches with their drinks and sets it down. While the waitress sashays away, both men stare at her ass and that’s when Amara drops something into Dean’s drink.

“Yeah, alright, that was inappropriate,” Dean says and looks into the round before his eyes settle on Y/N, “Definitely never gonna do that again.”

She shrugs. It’s not like he has to explain himself. And especially not to her.

“So she really did drug you!” Sam grins wide and bright, “We have fucking proof!” He stands up and hugs his brother, “Does Amara know it exists?”

“Of course she doesn’t, Sammy!”

“Good, we keep it between us,”

“What does that mean now? Can you do something with it?” Dean asks.

“Duh! That’s good because it means that you don’t have to pretend anymore. As soon as the Amara case is over, you and Y/N can stop being married. We will make sure your marriage is annulled in a timely manner.” Sam says, and adds, “Or… we can go forward and sue Amara’s ass right away. If we’re lucky, we can get a court date sooner than the one we already have. Or we can just hold on to the tape and still wait for the annulment hearing and show it to the judge, and we can still sue her later.” Sam shrugs, “You decide.”

Dean gnaws on his bottom lip, “Yeah, I need some time to think.”

“Sure,” Sam says and pats Dean’s shoulder.

She wakes with Dean spooning her from behind, his arms tight around her, his nose nuzzles against the back of her neck. He’s awake. She knows, because his heart’s beating faster than it would if he would still be sleeping. She has got Dean’s heart rate down to the tee by now.

“Did you sleep at all?” She whispers and lays her hand on his arm that’s around her. She strokes up and down and he holds her just a little tighter.

“Not much,” Dean mumbles, warm air hits the back of her neck.

“Have you decided?”

“I have,” He says, “We’ll wait til the hearing. It’s going to be in two weeks.” He kisses her skin, leaves his lips there and mumbles, “We still got two weeks.”

“Okay,”

Dean places another kiss on her bare shoulder, “You mind if we go home on Saturday?”

That would mean three days earlier than they were supposed to be leaving.

“No,” She says, “No, I don’t,”

“It’s just, I want to meet with Chuck and listen to his strategy and get Sam to get working on building a case. I want to be ready,”

“Dean, you don’t have to explain. It’s okay,” She turns around in his grip and he props himself up on one elbow to look at her.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” She smiles, “Seven days in Jamaica is more than I could have ever asked for. We still have two days left, so it’s really no problem.”

Dean replicates her smile, “Good, we all fly home together. You can see your brother off,”

“Okay,”

He kisses her cheek, the corner of her mouth, hovers his lips there, “And we’ll go for dinner at my parents on Saturday evening,”

“Oh—”

Before she could say no, Dean kisses her, bruisingly hard because he knows that she doesn’t want to do that and he chuckles into the kiss. The little shit.

The next few days went by fast. They went on a hike, and swam with dolphins. They did anything to get away from the resort to avoid Amara.

On their last night, they went out for a meal together. Everyone is tanned and happy, and she really likes it. Likes the sparkle in their eyes, likes the easiness of their group. Likes how they can make each other laugh. It’s easy with them and she wishes sometimes that Dean wasn’t her boss. He’d be a great friend. They’d all be a great group of friends, actually.

They were all going to go to the bar after the dinner and this time she agreed because it’s their last night, even though she still hasn’t packed. After the first drink, she notices Dean has been silent for a long time. As if there’s something that bothers him deep within. She can’t really read him and that is really frustrating.

He’s sitting on a bar stool and she’s standing just in front so she turns around, cradles his face in her palms. He hasn’t shaved, his scruff’s a little longer than it usually is.

Y/N places her forehead to his and feels his hot breath on her face, “You okay?”

He smirks, but it looks a little strained, “Yeah,”

She doesn’t believe him, but she kisses him, teases her tongue along his bottom lips. Dean kisses her back, slides his tongue next to hers, his one hand grips around her waist, fingers digging deep into her flesh while he holds her tight, as if he doesn’t want to let her go.

“I want you so bad,” Dean’s breathing hard when they break their kiss for air, “Let’s go,” He whispers, kisses her once more.

She licks her lips, bites down on it, and nods at him, “Okay,”

Standing up from his bar stool, he takes her hand in his, and calls into the round, “We’ll see you tomorrow guys,”

They didn’t really pay them much attention. Jack’s talking with Sam while Ruby’s dancing on the dance floor.

He drags her along the pier, and she has to run to keep up, “Dean, not so fast!”

“Oh, I’m sorry Miss short legs,” He chuckles and gets even faster instead of slowing down.

As soon as they’re inside, he has her pinned against the door, kisses her hard and needy and his hands are around her thighs, lifting her up to carry her to the bed.

Dean drops her off and helps her out of her dress, all the while still kissing her. He kneels over her, his hands cups around her breasts, thumbs over both of her nipples. He drags his tongue along her throat down to them, sucks in a nipple one by one before he goes further down. His fingers hooking into her panties, taking them off her legs and then he gets off her and the bed completely before pulling her to the edge of the bed by her legs.

He kneels down on the floor, his hands on her knees as he spreads her. His eyes stare between her open legs for a while before he sticks out his tongue and licks across her clit. She arches her back at the sensation, her hand finds his head.

His fingers join his mouth, sliding two of them into her wet cunt as he continues to suck at her clit.

“Fuck—” She moans, her nails scratching at his scalp.

His fingers are curving up on the inside. They rub against her sensitive spot and she squirms below him because he sucks and hums at her nub.

“Oh my god, right there. Don’t stop, don’t stop,” She’s panting hard, her toes start to curl and then she has to close her eyes because of the pressure, “Fuck!” Her legs cramp up and she digs her nails deep into his head as she comes so hard she sees fucking stars.

Dean doesn’t stop to lick until her convulsions stop. She shudders all over and only then does he let go of her as he takes a step back to take off his shirt and pants, drags them down together with his underwear.

Y/N props herself on her elbows to look at him, and has to bite down on her bottom lips when she sees his hard cock, the top slightly pink.

He licks his hand and starts to jerk himself off when he walks closer, bending down to kiss her and his face is all wet from her cum.

“Move up the bed,” He whispers and she does, goes further up and lays her head on the pillow. Dean follows her, walks on his knees to where she's waiting.

Dean gets between her thighs and she spreads her legs for him. His one hand holding her open by her knee while his other hand’s holding his dick. He drags the head along her wetness, slicks it up before he pushes in slowly. Almost agonizing slow.

Before he bottoms out, he lays down, his one arm around her shoulder while the other one strokes along her thigh. He kisses her, sloppy and lazily, while he moves inside, goes in deep and slow. It’s different to the other times they fucked. It’s less rough, less raw. This is soft and gentle, it’s need, and heat, and want.

He kisses down her jaw, sucks at her pulse point, “So good,” He breathes against her skin, “You feel so good around me, baby,”

Y/N claws at his back as he claims her mouth again, kissing her deep, making her gasp into his mouth when she comes from his cock alone. He sucks in her tongue, bites on her bottom lip, grunts against her mouth when his body trembles with his release.

They stay connected, their bodies melt against each other while Dean still sprays kisses at all the places he can reach in this position.

After a while he lays his head on her shoulder, sucks in her skin. Dean pulls out gently to be able to lay his head on her chest and she strokes his head. She knows that he listens to her heartbeat.

His one hand lazily rubs at her sensitive clit and she jerks a little, feels his cum running out of her. He catches it with his fingers and brings it up to her mouth and she willingly opens her mouth to suck at them. He groans as he watches her suck his fingers clean, “You’re definitely something else,” He chuckles and kisses her again.

“Ugh, we still need to pack,” She whispers after a while of lying tangled together.

Dean lifts his head off her chest a little, “Just a little longer, okay?”

She kisses the top of his head, “Okay,”

They manage to drag themselves up to go brush their teeth and wash their faces. But packing would have been too much to ask for, so they end up setting their alarm an hour earlier than they needed to be up and crawl right back into bed.

Dean opens up his arms for her and she crawls in, lets him wrap his strong arms around her, let him kiss her forehead and stroke her back.

It feels right and she’s more than sad that this will be all over in two weeks time. But she can also count herself lucky because in these two weeks, she has felt more love than other people have in their lifetime.

She wakes in the middle of the night to Dean raining kisses all over her face. When he feels her stirring awake, he cups her chin and tilts her head up to kiss her properly.

His dick is hard. It stands out and pokes at her stomach and she takes it into her hand, jerks him slowly, making him groan into her mouth.

“Turn around,” He whispers, nibbles on her bottom lip.

Y/N does, turns around in his grip and Dean sprays kisses along her neck and shoulder. She feels the blunt head of his cock threading through her folds. It’s gotten wet again and it’s still filled with his cum from before. He slips in easily but instead of going in deep, his movements are slow and shallow.

Dean fucks her softly, his mouth latching onto her skin. It’s only about three thrusts of his hips later that he grunts into the base of her neck, lips ghosting over her skin.

He chuckles, drags his teeth along her flesh, “That was unexpected,” He places another kiss on her shoulder, “‘M sorry,”

She has to grin, but she doesn’t say anything.

They stay connected, Dean’s not pulling out, nor does he move away. Instead, he presses himself closer, holds her tight and she doesn’t know how long it takes but she eventually finds sleep.

CH19

#light my fire #dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x reader #ceo!dean winchester #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #nathalie writes

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