#maybe im misunderstanding the situation but

[bowlofr1ce]

Stuff has been on my mind lately. And I can’t stop thinking about it.

I am giggling and kicking my legs that something I’ve been waiting over a year and a half for will be releasing soon. Every time I ask my friends “should I go for it?” And they always responded with “wait” and it’s just been like this every single time. And it’s finally happening.

But then in the back of my mind I hear “are you sure you really want to do this?” “it’s a lot of money. and your current employment is in jeopardy.” And then I tell that voice “I have been waiting for months! I have been waiting! For SO LONG! And I am SICK! AND TIRED! OF WAITING!” But then that voice retaliates “THINK about the money though! THINK about what mom and dad would think.” And that immediately halts me in my track. This is something I’ve been waiting a long, long time for. It’s a large scale investment that I’m willing to make with my own hard earned money. And yet. I fear that they’ll think I just sunk a lot of money on another toy. It’s not a toy, it’s basically a console. It’s the equivalent of buying a Switch 2 or a PlayStation 6 or something that will be in the future! But I’m scared. It’s fricking half a grand. I have the ability to spend that sort of money. I have the security to spend that sort of money. But I’m scared to make the leap. I’m scared of, well, spending money. And my parents, who usually make really good financial decisions, they might judge me because I indulged in something that I’m interested in. And it’s not what I’m interested in that’s the problem. It’s the cost that’s the problem. If I were to ask dad if I should go for the older, soon-to-be-irrelevant, cheaper option or the newer, more future proof, yet more expensive option, dad would probably say to go for the newer one.

Thing is I don’t know if they know this is something I want to do. I’m scared of how they’ll react if I suddenly said “hey! I wanna spend $500!” Like it’s something I just came up on the spot. Like no! This is something I’ve been thinking about and researching for years, and I decided that this is something I will be doing since over last year, and now this year, I am deciding to take that leap! But I’m still scared. I’m scared of the loss of money, and my current employment situation not looking good at the moment now that college kicked in. I’m scared of my parents who i feel should be okay if I explain myself about this but he problem is that they don’t give me a chance to speak. And especially mom if she has her mind on something it’s hard to take her mind off of that. (I.e. if she thinks you did something wrong, that means that you did something wrong, even if you didn’t do anything. And you can’t explain yourself either. I told this to mom that we should be able to explain herself but she basically dismissed that saying “explaining yourself won’t fix things. If you explain yourself with ‘oh, I needed money’ after robbing a bank, that doesn’t make what you did okay” LIKE??? THIS AND THAT ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SITUATIONS!!)

I suppose the only thing that will stop me from making this leap when it’s possible isn’t the money, but the fear of judgement and disapproval from my parents from doing so. And unfortunately, I’ve come to realize that this dictated most of the decisions I made in life.

#for context what I’m talking about is the upcoming quest 3 #and to clear any possible misunderstandings I am not abused! my family loves me very much (a rarity it seems nowadays) and I love them back #and I couldn’t ask for anything more! #however this doesn’t mean I don’t have anything bad to say about them. especially mom #I never feel listened to when it comes to bigger situations with her. which is why I usually come to my dad for these sort of things. #she literally told me ‘I am a parent and you are a child. we are not the same. therefore I do not treat you the same. #my job as a parent is to raise you right. not make you happy. and your job as my child is to respect and obey me.’ LIKE?????? #OKAY GUESS IM NOT HUMAN THEN??! #I just- It’s hard to justify not being an abused child when putting it like this in the view of the child. but I swear I’m not! #she’s not always like that. very rarely she ever does this. all I wish is to have a voice. maybe then I won’t be so scared of talking to her #yeah. #vent #rambling

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[starillusion13]

omg Hi! Im not sure if you’re still accepting requests but if you still do… I would like to request an ot8 ateez x reader where they all leave her because of a misunderstanding and then they chase her back after but she doesn’t forgive/give in so easily ? Thank you love ❤️

Lost you forever

Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Mature

Warnings: crying, mention of death, poison, mentions of mafia activities like shooting and deals in mafia, misunderstanding, pregnancy(?) [plz tell me if I have missed something] oc doesn't forgive easily coz she is deeply hurt.

W.C: 5.3k (i was so into it sorry)

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

“I have found her.”

All the noise died down with just one sentence. The room is now pin drop silent with all the heads turned towards the same direction and eyes focused on one person. The one who has just entered through the main door and whose voice made everyone stop in their tracks.

The leader of the group with a blank expression, walks towards the said person and grabs the collar of the leather jacket, eyes burning with his creased forehead but somewhere he wants to believe the words he has just heard.

“You realize what you are speaking right, Mingi?”

Nodding his head, he stares right back, “Absolutely.”

“Are you sure that’s her? Maybe, you might have mistaken someone else.”

Closing his eyes for a second, he sighs, “I have seen her with my own eyes, up so close to realize enough that it was her. Her sweet smile and those soft hands, everything is same.”

The one holding his collar loosen his grip and walks over to the table to get back his drink.

“Hongjoong, stop drinking.” The eldest scolds the leader before turning towards the other, “Then where is she and why didn’t you bring back her here? Where exactly did you see?”

“She was working at the café, down the Ross street. The target’s location was last seen in that café and when I reached there, he had already left and then when I heard that sweet voice asking if I need something?”

“did she see you?” The youngest asks him with curiosity filled in his eyes.

“No. I ordered a simple coffee just to see her longer and when she handed it over to me, I felt her soft and innocent hands touching my rough and ruthless ones. I was wearing a mask so she didn’t notice me but she was hiding her pain really well with her sweet smile.”

“But her eyes were telling something else.” Mingi turns towards Yeosang on hearing his response.

Everyone is feeling guilty that they are the reason you are working all alone there and having the pain inside you which your eyes reflect enough to let them know how you are feeling. They have been with you long enough to know every detail of your actions, to read your emotions from afar, to know if you are happy or to realize that you are hiding something then why. Why did they misunderstood you back then and left you all alone helpless?

“I want to see her. Take me there, just tell me which café is that exactly and I will be on my way there.”

“San, calm down. Take it slow. I know that you are eager to meet her like we all are but we can’t just go there like this. You know what we did back that day. I don’t think, she would want to see us again.”

If they had this much power in their hand to erase that day or to change the situation that occurred that day then they would have done long way back but now its impossible to do so. It’s been three years that they have left you but when their mission in this new country led them to cross your path again, they are not going to leave this chance out of their hand. Searching you for so long and not getting any sight of you has made their life a disaster. Hongjoong has been drinking a lot since he found out that he had done wrong with you and not a single member of his gang can control his vigorous nature but being the leader of the uprising mafia gang, he has to control his limits to not let the opposition know his weakness. Yunho is not better than him here, being the fighter of the group, he is overdoing and exhausting himself just because he can’t get you out of his mind and showing his anger on others. Well, Seonghwa needs to be calm here as being the eldest, he finds this as his responsibility to check if his members are doing okay and him being the second in command has to be with the leader most of the time. But the question is how can he just pretend that he doesn’t think about you, his thoughts are always storming inside his head which are revolving around how to get you back. San is restless, he is almost every time being out of the house doing illegal shits without even informing the leader and just messing up things, which sometimes almost bring them to face a hectic situation but thanks to Wooyoung who is always there to save him but what about himself. He is the one who would show his emotions up his sleeves but when it comes to get you back, he is lost in a void. He doesn’t even know whether to be angry, upset, mad or just forget about you. Forget about you? Is it even possible? Mingi is always out of the base, he has taken upon himself to look out for the targets and engaging with the spies all around to know the motives of other gangs and be prepared but one thing is always flashing to him, thoughts of you. Jongho has kept himself silent for most of the times, away from his members and just trying his way to find out where you are. Are you even alive? He is always there to bug Yeosang to find you in every corner of their hometown but you were nowhere to be found and once they had lost all hope of you being alive. Yeosang has taken the job of being hacker too seriously and that just to find you till the last cell of his data but everytime, he is just getting disappointed.

🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚

“Thank you for your order. Have a great night ahead.”

You smile sweetly towards the customer who just left the café and its almost nine at night so you should get prepared to leave for the night. You are always the last worker to leave on the busy scheduled day as you live just few houses away from here and the manager is too sweet to even let her guard accompany you to reach your house. She once requested you to do the extra night shifts on busy days as other workers live bit far away and you could be much helpful to her. She has this warm motherly aura and so you couldn’t reject her request.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry that you had to stay back late again. It’s Halloween season and you know how people are crowding over here.” Your manager having a guilty expression on her face approaches you.

“Oh no, it’s really fine with me. I can keep my mind off with some stuffs while working here so it’s not a big problem. I rather enjoy being here than staying at home and overthinking.”

“You are so sweet. You should take some leaves and rest for few days as I haven’t seen you taking leaves or going out with someone. Don’t waste your young age everytime working here. Have some enjoyment and refresh your mind.”

“Working here gives me the happiness. I don’t think being with someone can actually refresh my mind or rather haunt me…..Nevermind, you must go back as your son is waiting for you and after getting everything back to it’s place, I will hand over the keys to Mr.Lee.”

Nodding her head and waving at you, she rode back to her place leaving you and Mr. lee, who must be in the locker room getting his stuff and later waiting for you outside.

Arranging all the stuffs, it took twenty minutes as your other co-workers had almost done everything before leaving and the previous orders were simple so you didn’t have much to do. Picking up your bag from the counter, you give a final glance to the place to make a mental note if everything is fine. Satisfied with the result, you quickly went outside to see him already standing and waiting for the keys but he is looking impatient.

“Are you fine, Mr.Lee?”

“U-uh yeah…” sweats visibly lining the forehead and lips quivering. Why is he sweating in this cold night?

“If you need help, please do tell me.”

“Actually, I need to leave early… my daughter needs some help and she has just now called me so I think I cant go with you today.”

“Its fine with me. I can manage on my own, its just few steps and I will be home so don’t worry and leave. I hope your daughter is fine.”

He thanked you several times and left. Like always, your smile is still having that warmth even in this chilly night. Your hands rub your arms and you start walking towards your block. Everything is like usual until you start to feel someone is following you but waving it off as if it must be your fear of walking alone without him. Also, it’s Halloween and anything creepy can happen. Even the children’s pranks are creepier than ghosts. You quicken your steps, hands gripping the bag tightly.

You feel a hand on your shoulder and you almost had screamed when another hand pressed over your mouth, shutting you up and muffling your scream. Your eyes closed tight and hands trying to remove the palm from over your mouth.

“Y/N. Don’t be afraid, it’s me.”

You froze. Not due to the chilly wind just blew past you but because of the very familiar voice. Familiar? You don’t think it has that same familiarity like before. Every morning, this used to be the first voice you would listen while waking you up and engulfing you in a big bear hug. That’s past as now you are used to being wake up with your alarm or nightmares. Just a reminder, he is the part of causing that nightmare.

Parting your eyes, you can see the tall man standing in front of you. Looking down at you with a soft look on his face, teary eyes and hands slowly slip down from your mouth to your biceps to hold them firmly. The street is brightly lit due to the decorations for the occasion so everything is very clear for your eyes. You stare back at him and not knowing how to react as your body and mind is going against each other but you know a little part of your heart still beats for him, for them.

He is about to pull you in for a hug when you stop him with your hands pressed over his chest, preventing him from coming any closer.

“Y/N….”

“Stop it. You should not just hug randomly someone. You may know me but sorry I can’t really remember you.”

“Random? You are my angel. I want to hug you and say sorry for what I have done. Don’t pretend that you don’t know me, please tell me you have missed me equally.”

“Look, you must have mistaken me with someone else but I’m not her.”Pushing his hands off from you, “Even if I know your name doesn’t mean I know you, you are just like the rest of the customers in my daily life whose name I have to hear often. So it’s nothing special and as I don’t hear your name anymore maybe I would forget it forever.”

“Y/N!”

You make a ‘tsk’ sound on hearing him shout your name. Even if they pretend to be polite or gentle with you, they are the ruthless uprising mafia gang so what do you even expect less from them while controlling their aggression?

“This is you. Shout on me. Blame on me. but. Don’t show your kindness to me again. You have literally showed your true colors that day and look here we are. Standing face to face and you still shouting on me just like that day. You are still the same, Yunho.”

Hearing his name coming out of your mouth after three years is sending a wave of warmth to his heart. Atleast, you called him by his name even though your words are straight away piercing his heart like a sharp knife, you haven’t spoken to him like this ever but he knows he deserves it for leaving you that day.

A black SUV comes to a stop near to a side of you both. If it were any other time, you swear you would have got frightened but the raging veins with hatred towards him is not minding any danger surrounding you. You didn’t look at it’s direction but can hear several footsteps are nearing you. Why are you not scared? Is it because you are feeling safe in his presence? No, it’s just you don’t want to be saved or show your weakness, atleast in front of him.

“Doll.”

Don’t turn back. You are just imagining things. He can’t be hear even yunho is not here, right? You want to believe this but the presence behind you is too near you, his warm hands placed over your shoulder sending a jolt through your body. It may be warm but is lacking the warmth, you can only feel the coldness of feelings there. Turning around, you look into the eyes of Mingi, who just called you with the name he gave you on your first date with him.

Okay, so everyone is here. All the eyes are just looking at you, only you. If it was something back in those days then you would have become shy and hide behind Yunho and not look at them but this time, your daring eyes precisely staring back at them. Their eyes filled with regret meeting your eyes filled with hatred.

“Why are you all here?”

“For you.” Hongjoong replies quickly enough and this made you raise your brow.

The scene is like a deja-vu, very similar to the last time you had seen them. Them circling you under the night sky and you are the centre of the situation but that time, they had that rage in their eyes for blaming you and hoping you to vanish from their eyesight but this time, they have the fear…of losing you again.

“it’s not funny. If you all are going to have some Halloween pranks on people then go somewhere else, don’t waste my time.”

“It’s really not funny and also not a prank. We are really here for you.”Hongjoong said calmly.

“And? You got to see me. You needed to know if I’m alive or not and now you might kill me as I already know a lot of your things and it’s dangerous for you all to keep me alive. Go ahead, shoot me.”

“Y/n, are you insane? How can you think like this that we will shoot you?”

“San, it’s very obvious from the way you were pointing the gun to my forehead with fire in your eyes.” You point to the middle of your forehead with two fingers. They would have found your acts childish but your tone is too harsh for their ears, making it obvious how much hatred you have towards them.

The said man fidgeting his fingers, looking down and a single tear escapes his eyes. The tear of losing you. You are so near to him, just few feet away where he can run to you and hug you tightly and pull you in for a kiss yet so far away because of the way, your eyes glaring at him.

Mingi moves aside when Hongjoong comes in front of you, “Princess-“

“Don’t call me that when you don’t know how to treat one. I’m not your princess. Well, I’m no one to you.”

No one to him and this word burns his heart. Not only his but others too. Still he tried to speak to you.

“Whatever happened that day, we are really guilty for that. We are extremely sorry to treat you that way. I don’t know what happened to me and I put the blame on you, thinking it was your plan, everything I had lost that day was because of me and I lost you but trust me, each day I have spent regretting for this. Please forgive me. Please.”

He is no more holding back his tears, being a leader is a great responsibility and controlling his emotions in every situation is the major part but you were always there with him by his side where he could express himself, to show his vulnerable self to you but this time instead of comforting him, you are mocking back at him.

“Are you crying because of regret or losing your mission that day? I’m sure it’s about the shitty mission or what else-”

Yunho turns you around harshly and this time you can see his flaming eyes, “Are you making fun of him? What happened to you really? You have totally changed. This is not Y/N, we knew back then.”

“Exactly, this is not your Y/N anymore. This is me. An orphan who lives alone in this block and works by the café down the street. Also, not nice to meet any of you.”

You give him a blank expression. His grip on you tightens and you just stare at the hold, hissing but not telling him to leave you. Why? Because you want to feel him. No. You want to see how much he can lose control on you and the physical pain is nothing compared to the mental pain, you have gone through the years.

“Please come back to us. We are here to take you back, to your home, our home.”

Seonghwa. Please don’t speak like that. He is a siren for this because even if you want to hate him, his voice is always as if lurking you to trust him, his words which are still soothing to your ears, remembering those feather kisses. No. They are pinching you like a thorn just like your words are doing to his heart.

“There is nothing called ours. My place is here and nowhere else. I guess you don’t know the meaning of a home. Home is somewhere you can feel warmth and comfort, a forgiving atmosphere to erase your pain into happiness. But the place you are mentioning is a prison to me, hearing the name suffocates me, the memories haunt me. Atleast, here, I’m okay by myself, far away from you all but still nothing is a home to me.”

“Why are you saying like this? Please don’t push us away when we just got you back.”

“So? I should forgive you all and get back to you. Never. This is not happening ever.”

You walk towards him, his ears perk up hearing your heels nearing him, Yunho has left his grip on you but his hands aching to touch you again. The memories of you both spending nights together with warm skin against skin, hushed promises surrounded by the burning love but now even if your skin is warm, the touch was cold with numb feelings.

You pull the strap of Seonghwa’s jacket and other hand block his hand which he was about to raise and swiftly pull the gun out, pointing it towards his forehead. Others come to a warned position.

“If I shoot you here and wait enough to bleed you to death.” You turn to look back at them, their surprise faces looking back at you but no one daring to step forward. “Then if I say, please forgive me. Will it be worthy?”

“But…but we didn’t hurt you. We…we just….” San doesn’t know how to complete his sentence. He is lost within his own words. Seeing you after years, your coldness towards them, even pointing gun towards one of their member and remembering how you and him were in the same position last time causing his hands shake. So ironic for a mafia member. No matter how strong they are, how ruthless they can be but when it comes to you, you are their weakness.

“It’s not always hurting someone physically. Their way of act towards you speaks volume and the words you told me while pointing the gun is way more painful than if you would have actually shoot me.” Turning, towards Seonghwa, “You have already killed me that day. I am dead for you.”

“Baby, please don’t say like this.”

“How many times do I need to tell you that I’m nothing to you all? Stop calling me names.”

Wooyoung’s eyes go wide on hearing your shout. He is so much taken aback by your outburst that he is almost looking helpless towards Mingi standing near him.

“I’m sorry…I mean…please don’t say like this. You are everything to me, to us. You don’t know how messed up we were when we left you. I’m so sorry to leave you but please atleast lets forget about that incident and please come back to us.” Wooyoung stutters but not again using the endearment.

Mingi chirps in, “Human can may make mistakes. Whatever happened that day, we know it was not your fault, it was a mistake and we really forgive you for that. I’m sorry for being harsh on you.”

“Yes. We are really guilty. We should have listened to you but rather we blamed you on the spot and said such harsh words which even if I want to take back, I can’t. I didn’t let you to explain but ended up on a conclusion.” Wooyoung ends the sentence with tears spilling from his eyes silently.

Do you forgive them? Yes. but Why? They are still telling you it was your mistake. You cant forgive them so. No.

“So you still think that it happened because of my mistake? It was an accident?”

“Y/n…”

“Stop it, Yunho. Don’t speak a single word. I’m getting annoyed with you.”

Your steps come to a stop in front of Wooyoung whose eyes are shining to get you so close to him. He raises his hands but got yanked away by you. Maintaining a straight eye contact with him, you grab his collar.

“look at me and say that it was my mistake. It all happened because of me.”

He remained silent. He parts his lips but nothing coming out and this is making you impatient.

“Tell me!”

Hot tears streaming down your eyes. Still your body is not getting enough warmth and craving for it during the cold night in that lonely street. Even if you are with all of them still you are feeling alone. Your vision is getting blurred but you roughly rubbed your eyes with the sleeves of the shrug. Your breathings are getting heavy and you are losing control.

The youngest pulls away Wooyoung from your hold and holds your red hands in his grip which are shaking due to the tight fist.

“Please, calm down. It’s me Jongho. It’s not your fault. No one is blaming you. Take deep breathes and calm down.”

He knows that you are hyperventilating and he still knows how your body is reacting and you hate this. You harshly pull your hands away from his hold.

“Don’t touch me. My body aches when I remember how I let you monsters to touch me, everywhere, every day. I’m feeling so ashamed of myself. Don’t make me regret more. I hate the fact how you still know this about my body and am beyond surprised that you still remember me. Oh wait, you have to remember every detail of your enemy before plotting a nice plan and attacking them, right? And today is the perfect day.”

“You are not my enemy. You are my-“

“Stop. Don’t complete that sentence, Jongho.”

“Don’t speak to him like that, he was not even there during the whole mission, he was in for a quick need for back-end support for Yeosang.”Mingi says in a moderate tone.

“But was there long enough to blame me.”

Hongjoong places a firm hand on Mingi’s shoulder, “No one is blaming you. It was an accident and you didn’t know what to do there.”

“I know that whatever you did was to save yourself and I’m glad that you are fine.”

You stare at Hongjoong for a few moments and then burst out laughing like a maniac. Any other person would have found you weird and commented that you have gone mad. Even they would have made fun of you and teased you that how foolish you looked like while laughing like this.

Frustrated groans and your hands raising to your scalp and you mess your hairs. You are totally acting like a drunk person.

“hongoong, did you hear what he just said? Did you hear everyone? He said that I did that to save me. Huh. To. Save. Me.”

You skip steps towards yeosang and slap him, “You think I have killed Mr. Kim to save myself?”

“Y/n!”

You could barely hear Seonghwa and Yunho’s shout when you grabbed Yeosang’s biceps and shake him. He is shocked not just because you have slapped him but seeing you losing your mind like this and having no control over your actions and he is still thinking that something like this might have happened which cause you to kill Mr.Kim.

“Tell me Yeosang. You think I did it for myself? Tell me.”

Nothing he said in reply, just stared right back at you, the only thought running through his mind is to hug you and say that he won’t be leaving you again. He would protect you from the whole world. His daily searching to get your location was always in vain and he still can’t believe his eyes that you are standing in front of him but your eyes showing the amount of hatred in you for him. a helpless cry audible to his ears to which he was deaf during last time.

“So, you do think it is.”

You take a few steps back, staring back at each of them. San tried to come near you but Yeosang stopped him and shook his head.

“I…I did it…I killed him…It was not an accident.” You look up to the sky and smile to yourself, “I did it to save my family. I shoot him to save you all from his evil planning. You all were my family and I tried my best to face him, my hands were shaking, head was spinning. I couldn’t place the actions and words right in place but I knew I had to do it to save you all.”

“save us?” Hongjoong asks you in surprise.

You chuckle sadly, “Your beloved dad had only invited you to the party so that he could destroy you and your gang. He realized that you are not his own son and Jungwoo is his real son so to give him all the power, it was a better option to erase you from the path. I got to know this because Jungwoo told me and he didn’t want to support his dad in this way and somehow mr.Kim tried to kill me when he heard that I wont let you join the party.”

“That’s why…that’s why…you were whining to spend time with us and cancel the schedule.”

You nod on Jongho’s statement.

“I didn’t know how to stop you so before I could come up with a plan, you were already in your way to catch your target at the party held by Mr.Kim. And…and…when I tried to follow you all, he caught me and poisoned me.”

“Why did he poison you?” Wooyoung almost shout hearing this.

“He wanted to see you all going down first seeing me die and then it would be fun to end you. He really succeeded here.”

“What do you mean?” Yunho asks you slowly. You glance towards him but nod a bit.

Picking up your bag which is lying on the floor because of the previous commotion, you look down and tears flowing continuously, “even when I was poisoned, I escaped from the room and when I reached the scene, you were already in the middle of the bloody scene with your target. He was going to leave the place and would leave you all dying in the bomb blast and that’s how I thought it was best to kill him.”

“You didn’t tell that you were poisoned, we thought you were acting of feeling sick.” Even though Seonghwa confessed what he did feel right back then still he is feeling guilty towards you. You stare right back into his eyes.

“When I shot him in front of you all, Hongjoong snatched the gun from me and you harshly pulled me towards the exit and then it went on with you all blaming me.” You cast a glance towards San, “you pointed the gun at me and threatened me to kill if I don’t spill whose spy I was. You even doubted me with Jungwoo that we were cheating behind you and it was our plan to destroy you.”

Huh. Such cheap thought they had. They all blamed you and called such names and even threatened to kill you. It was not enough that they even insulted you in front of everyone present in the party even tried to prove your imaginary relation with Jungwoo.

“I’m sorry…”

“Mingi. Say sorry to Y/N who was trying to explain everything to you all, who was enduring the pain of spreading poison in her body and was still trying to protect you. Go hug her and pull towards you and say everything is okay, whose hands were shaking because she never killed anyone in her life before despite you all trained her in every field for her self-defence. Go and listen to her and ask her. Are you fine?”

He can’t match your eyes so he looks down regretting his every move, you throw a dirty look at him yet somewhere your eyes showing a little bit of sympathy. Your body still reacting to their touch and wanting to run to their embrace making you hate yourself.

“You can’t go. She is dead. Your Y/N is dead. Congratulations, you have killed her that day. You have killed a new life with her as well. She didn’t even get to know who her father is. Mission completed Boss.”

You stare straight and boldly towards Hongjoong.

“Her? Father? What are you saying?” Yeosang is impatient on hearing such things from you. He is confused just like the others and their heart is racing whereas yours is calm but painfully beating.

“I have lost my first baby and one of you lost the honour of being the father for the first time. It was too late when I woke up in the hospital, the poison had already been spread too much. I don’t know how I am still alive but maybe atleast Jungwoo didn’t leave my side.”

It was a big storm for them. As if the ground disappeared from underneath their feet. You were pregnant and they were unaware of it. If only they had agreed with your warnings, then they would have been having a happy family time with you and their baby together. No matter whose baby she was, she would have been theirs, they all would have given their fatherly love to her.

Without saying any more word, you begin to walk towards your way and didn’t even look back for the last time towards them.

“Y/N…”You heard wooyoung calls you from behind and they might follow you.

Still facing your back towards them, you speak slowly but audible enough for them, “Don’t follow me or come to find me again. You have left me that day, helplessly crying in the garden. Don’t expect me to forgive you and go back to you again.”

You walk away, far away from them where your silhouette getting lost in the painful dark but they know atleast you are safe and alive beyond that darkness. Their eyes follow the last bit of your presence.

They won’t be giving up on you like this. They will get you back someday but they also know that they have lost a part of you forever.

“I love you but I have lost you.”

PART 2

Perma Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @eriny123 @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon [open!]

#cultofdionysusnet #kvanity #ateez #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez au #seonghwa x reader #hongjoong x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader #ateez poly #ateez x you #ateez ot8 #ateez oneshot #ateez angst #ateez fic #ateez smut #ot8x reader #ateez mafia au #mafia au

[eepywriters]

I LOVED YOUR MESSAGES WITH QUACKITY ❤️❤️❤️

please do getting into an agrument with quackity headcanons please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻😙😙🫣‼️💕💕🩷🩷

.✦°. • getting into an argument hcs (*´Д｀*)

warnings: a bit of angst and maybe a bit ooc? I tried 😞🤚🏻

a/n: HIII!! THANK U SO MUCH! It means a lot :D and sorry if it took so long ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ finals kicked my ass so I couldn’t write for a while BUT IM HERE SO LET’S GET INTO IT

EARLY INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

(thinking of a young, little experienced Alex)

Oh it’s jover

This could actually be something that could cause a breakup cuz let me tell you THIS MAN just can’t stand confrontation

If it’s something that bugged you, he’d probably understand your point of view but would also be very overwhelmed at the thought of losing you cause he hasn’t been good enough for you, resulting in him hyper focusing on his spiraling thoughts rather than listening to what you are saying

I feel like he’d also be the type to act like nothing happened right after an argument; he’d ignore the tense situation and make jokes to light up the mood and forget about it. He’s not dense, he knows it hurts you to see him seemingly ignore your feelings like that, but he’s not used to being listened so he ends up making his partner go trough his predicament as well

BUT it’s even worse if it’s something that bugged HIM; he probably wouldn’t tell you about it, much preferring to suck it up and don’t cause problems, even though he IS creating more problems

the underlying tension caused by his silence would bring the relationship to a breaking point:

1 you break up and the regret eats him up (probably also wouldn’t reach out again because of shame and a tiny bit of ego)

2 you talk about it cause it can’t go on like this

When I talk about bugging tho, I’m thinking about things that don’t surge an immediate reaction from him, because if he’s mad, he’s mad.

He’s the venomous type, forget his silence and self pity, he’ll probably laugh in your face in irritation and say whatever the fuck he thinks

He’ll retreat to his office as soon as he sees the hurt in your face, understanding he went to far and going back to he’s usual silence, ending up giving you the silence treatment. (he also feels incredibly ashamed) (he’ll just stay in his office all day, editing mindlessly since his mind is anywhere but in the work he’s doing)

He’ll either leave you alone in bed that day, making you sulk and feel as lonely as ever, or will sleep with you but it’ll be the coldest shit ever (like the typical movie scene where two people sleep super afar from each other)

Don’t misunderstand tho, he does feel guilty, he just struggles with communicating his feelings properly (*´ー｀*)

“(Name) I’m not a child, stop acting like you are my fucking mom” he spat, a look of indignation spreading on his features, shaping his otherwise gentle appearance into a strong, furious one.

“Cant you understand that I’m worried about you?” you strike back, jaw impossibly tightened “I understand that you’re very dedicated to your job, but you can’t get yourself to this state.” You sigh, not able to keep up the mad act: “You look very tired Alex”.

You take a tentative step towards him, determined to show him you weren’t scolding him, nor were you mad at him. You were trying to establish contact with him, not start a fight, after all your irritation came from worry, not anger. But he didn’t receive that well. His brows scrunching even further while his mouth twitches downwards.

“Stop acting like I’m some fucking rabid animal. I can take care of myself just fine, I don’t need a fucking babysitter”.

Seems that wasn’t the right move.

The way he was saying your name was probably what hurt the most. You find yourself missing the gentle tone he usually reserved to it when spoken.

“What are you even saying?” you breathe out, your voice being so fragile you almost don’t recognize it as your own. “Do you hear what you are saying? You are being impossible Alex”.

At this point his foot is stomping nervously on the floor. He’s getting annoyed by the minute and he can’t wait to forget about this tense situation. Arguments always put him on edge, but instead of working on the root cause of his discomfort, he always had preferred to just get himself out of the mess as soon as possible. (He hadn’t yet grasped how much that could hurt others). And that’s why, out of everything he could’ve gone, he replied with the one of the most uncalled for things he could ever come up with.

“Maybe instead of worrying about me, you should take a good look at yourself first”.

And you know what he was trying to entail.

You were never insecure of your dark circles, or at least, it wasn’t something that bugged you on the daily ever since you had found a common ground with Alex, knowing he struggled with very prominent circles cause of his lack of sleep. But for someone like him, who always had a hard time with his appearance, to clap back at you by going for your looks? Foul. Unexpected. Not like him at all.

You were sure he could tell from the look of disbelief on your face that he had fucked up.

Alex’s breathing keeps up, his chest constricts, and the anger and the pride that he has wearing like a tailored suit are stripped out of him at the sight of your frown. His mind goes haywire trying to come up with any response.

Maybe if you would’ve known him better by then, you would’ve known how terrified he was of your judgment. Even though his fame often had him deal with horrible comments filled with free hate, if judgement came from you, it scarred 100 times more than anything could ever do.

“Just leave it be, I’m fine” it’s all he mutters before booking it and hiding himself in his office, leaving you to stand there, in the middle of your living room.

Tears prickle your eyes, threatening to fall at any moment and your lip begs you for mercy as you bite into it.

God, why was communicating so difficult in this house?

LONG INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

It took time, it took healing, it took sitting down and TALKING to finally find your balance

He’s still pretty much venomous when it comes to immediate triggers, but after you are both done fighting and cursing each other out, you talk about it and come out of it somewhat unscathed

Anger isn’t easy to control or refrain after all, but you both try your best, and you are able to make up most of the times without falling into old dynamics of silent treatment or isolation

If something bugs him, he most likely will tell you; he is hesitant about it, but after many nights spent in your arms, he starts to let go on some of his biggest worries (anxiety still gnaws at his core every time he opens his mouth though, that doesn’t get old at all)

If something bugs you, he doesn’t shy away from confrontation anymore; he’s not perfect at it either, he still feels the urge to run away and laugh about it all, but he’s gotten way better at it

He’s still very scared of you having a negative opinion about him, but now you know him well enough to spend some extra time to reassure him that you won’t stop loving him for a petty fight, and that arguments in relationship are important to grow not only as a couple, but as people too

“(Name)” he calls out, and you instantly recognize the hint of anxiety that he’s trying to hide from you.

“Yes honey?” you reply, taking your eyes off your phone to stare into his pretty, brown ones. They screamed stress, fear, yet also determination. He did so much progress compared to the beginnings of your relationship. You were proud of him.

Alex took a deep breath before saying: “Uhm, It’s about the photo of us you posted earlier”. You could practically smell the tension in the air. His body is stiff, his chest is heaving, but your gaze is captured by his fingers and by how his nails are digging into them continuously, tearing his already red skin.

You take his hands in yours, preventing him from doing further damage to his poor, abused fingers. You knew he does it as a way to ground himself, but he really needed to find a new coping method - one that didn’t feature him torturing his body if possible.

He stares at his hands in yours for a while. You don’t say anything, allowing him to take his time.

“Okay fuck it” Alex whispers under his breath, so quietly you almost miss it.

“It makes me feel insecure, I don’t like it” he admits, keeping his focus on your hands as he munches his bottom lip nervously. You, in response, draw slow circles on his hands, offering him a gentle smile.

“Can you delete it..?” he sounds unsure, like he’s testing the waters instead of actually making a request. Either way you welcome it.

You put one of your fingers under his chin, gently applying pressure for him to lift his head, just enough to look at you. “Of course I can. Thank you for telling me Alex, I know it’s hard”. His once tense body relaxes.

He avoids your tender gaze, seemingly preferring to stare at the floor, yet you see the soft blush that was quickly taking over his cheeks. You also can’t help but notice that he already had found his charming smile back.

“Stop looking at me like that” he mumbles as his smile spreads. Uh oh, that can only mean trouble.

“Like what” your eyes narrow, not trusting his new found confidence.

“Like this”.

His imitation is pitiful: furrowed eyebrows, small frown and large puppy dog eyes. The more you look at him, the more he reminds you of that one emo guy that kind of looks like him (he definitely does). He looks ridiculous. How did you even fall in love with this dude?

You slap his arm, scoffing out a laugh as you look at him incredulous: “I don’t look like that!”.

“I think you do” he says with a smug tone, one that makes you want to hit him with a pillow till he goes back to sleep. And maybe you just will.

“Oh it’s on you motherf-“

The room was filled with laughter instead of unconfortable, loud silence.

(first post of 2024 yippiee)

#quackity x reader #quackity imagine #quackity x y/n #quackity x you #quackity fanfic #qsmp x reader #first request #yippie

[myunghology]

XIAO , SCARAMOUCHE , KAZUHA general relationship headcanons.

!! gender neutral reader, completely sfw, fluff. tw ? ; none ( song reco )

!! XIAO

you guys are definitely taking it slow, he still has to adjust y'know. even if he's over 2,000 years old, i doubt he's ever been in a romantic relationship. ( is that an insult ? ; maybe )

overprotective, doesn't care who it is, he just is. the only exception is probably zhongli and ganyu. still unsure about traveler, but i'm leaning to maybe yes.

"who's that? why are you acting so close with them? do i know them? have you mentioned them before?" "....xiao that's one of my family members." "oh."

easily flustered. he can either cover it up easily, or he can't. there's no in between, or that's up to you if you want to decide.

can't express his feeling's properly. this ones a little bit toxic, but if you didn't want accurate headcanons then i think you came to the wrong blog.

but you cant really blame him, he's naturally like that. and it's probably gonna take him a long time to actually open up about his feelings, but if you're an understanding and patient person, then that's better.

he'll probably ignore you if he's jealous, but i guess that's how he copes dawg

he'd want you to come to him first more than him actually confronting you.

but put all that aside- he gives you little things that reminded him of you whenever he goes somewhere. he would sometimes give you a random cute hairpin and said that it'd suit you, which it did.

that's what makes your relationship so cute, he does these little things that make you smile, like taking you out to places where he thinks it's pretty, just like you. he thinks. he does this because he doesn't know how else to express it. ( shakespeare could never amirite )

!! SCARAMOUCHE

mOTHERFUCKER NUMBER 2 WHO ALSO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS HIS FEELINGS

it's ironic enough that him and xiao are similar in relationships, more so that they absolutely can't express their feelings properly.

but what's different is that he expresses it more aggressive about it. more passive-aggressive probably.

buys you stuff you want without even asking, if he sees you looking at it then he buys it for you the next day, maybe even something better, but still the same design.

you tell him to stop spending his money on you when you don't even need it, but he tells you to just be good and take it. you give in, because it'd be a waste if he bought it and he'd just give it right back after.

but if you like it that way, then he's your personal sugar daddy now congratulations

denies it whenever you call him out when he's being shy, especially when you flirt back, this guy is a hard flirt, only to you of course.

there may be tons of women or men who are into him, but he's only looking at you, if he wanted to cheat, he can. but he doesn't.

"i don't understand why you're so worried about that, you know i'll only always be with you." ( AGOI )

( HE SAY THAT IM GOOD ENOUGH GRABBIN MY DUHDUHDUH THINKIN BOUT SHIT THAT I SHOULDN'T HA-)

but then again, he also says straight forward about problems into a relationship, because he wants to avoid them in the future.

you guys fight sometimes, and i mean teasing by the way, not an actual fight. but fights aren't really rare when you're with him.

it's usually caused because of a misunderstanding.

they do say you fight with the people you love the most

!! KAZUHA

probably the most normal one out of all of them here i fear. sweetest boyfriend ever

bros the whole package

he says whatever's making him uncomfortable in a relationship and he encourages you to do the same and not be ashamed, probably because you two have already been through everything together once you've even started dating.

also he's a very understanding person, and he's willing to listen to you no matter what situation it is.

his love language is probably words of affirmation, saying he loves you out of the blue is his favorite part of the day.

"i love you so much" "..h..huh..?"

10x more soft spoken to you than he is to other people, i know his voice is naturally like that, but he can't help but treat you like your fragile, especially if you're emotional. but if you don't want him to, then he won't push it. especially if you don't like feeling belittled.

closeted sadist

won't force you to do things you don't want to do, but he definitely encourages you.

never and i mean never comments anything rude or disrespectful at you, especially about your appearance. the only things he comments are compliments.

but if you truly want advice for your looks then he'll recommend a hair, clothing switch or something like that, "maybe that would look better, but you really suit anything and everything" he says.

gives you love letters whenever he's away, probably once a week so you don't go overthinking. you don't have to worry about him cheating either, beidou has promised you that she'd tell you if he cheats ( and crush his testicles ) , and obviously, kazuha isn't that type of person, you'd know for sure.

#jian’s works! #xiao x reader #scaramouche x reader #kazuha x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #xiao x y/n #xiao x you #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you #kazuha x you #kazuha x y/n #genshin imagines #genshin fluff #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact #i was supposed to add yanqing but i lost motivation

[decolonize-the-left]

IM: In her final communique, during what a friend of mine called revolutionary suicide, she told the world “I want to be identified as Aaron Bushnell” but from the LillyAnarKitty Twitch account.

I think it’s still ambiguous what those motives were. A few of us thought, you know, maybe this is strategic. She wanted to leave making Aaron the martyr and the icon, while also leaving breadcrumbs to Lilly for those of us in the know.

A friend of mine said maybe she just couldn’t bear to erase herself completely.

[...]Probably the biggest reference for who Bushnell was was her reddit account. She was a pretty consistent reddit poster for a month in 2014, then again consistently from 2020 onwards. And, for one thing, Bushnell was furtively hanging out in some trans reddit communities, just sticking her toe in. Like r/transclones [a reddit devoted to trans Star Wars memes] and r/unixsocks [a programming reddit where the overwhelming majority of users are trans women]. You see someone wander into the trans girl playhouse and you do… you make some assumptions. It was nothing definitive, but this would be the eggiest cis person alive, if nothing else. The other thing I noticed was just that she was incredibly passionate about trans rights. When Bushnell described the situation on the ground for trans people in the U. S. I could feel in it my own desperation. If you’ve read Zinnia Jones’ coverage of it, if you’ve read Erin Reed’s coverage of it, or if you’ve read, well, your own coverage at Assigned Media, there was a sense of that fear, that anger, reflected back at me. If Bushnell was a cis man, this was a cis man that got it in a way cis people rarely do.

Assigned: And this is part of why you’re not quite as worried about being wrong, right? IM: If somehow I fucked this up completely and this person was not what they appear to me to be, if Aaron Bushnell, he/him was the only version that ever existed, I can only conclude that he would understand how the misunderstanding came about. And I think, I hope, this is someone who would understand that what is happening is in good faith and from a sense of love and obligation.

#im losing my mind that the twitch name changed the 25th #....my logic at that point would be I Might As Well Live My Truth Somewhere First #god #and i bet on some level they Knew their death would only matter if they were identified as Aaron Bushnell

[luvrxbunny]

hi, im loving your work and i'm not sure if this is like where your at cause it's just regular old eddie but i was wondering if you'd write something like reader and eddie are both really into each other but haven't said anything and she knows how into d&d he is so she makes on of his campaigns into a comic but shes been so busy she unintentionally pulls away and eddies worried she finally "woke up" and realized hes a freak. maybe something like she's from new york banished to her aunts in hawkins aunts cause she has to repeat senior year again and eddie immediately is like wow. but happy ending obviously, maybe some smut if the spirit moves you. i hope this isnt too specific i know your last request was more vague but i had the idea and thought it'd be cute, if your not into it though that's fine i figure it never hurts to ask right 😘

hi! thank you for requesting! there actually isn't smut in this one but if you'd like some you can request a part 2 kinda thing!

Pairing: Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Summary: Eddie feels you pulling away and assumes the worst.

Warnings: smoking (weed), misunderstandings and emotions (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 6.9k

A/N: idfk this might be word vomit- i tried please have mercy

Eddie was the first friend you made here in Hawkins after being abandoned by your family. The sting of failing your senior year was enough, but the pain of your family being too embarrassed to house you anymore made it even worse. You had to watch all summer as all your other friends packed up for college while you were packing to be sent away. You were forced to go live with your aunt, which wasn’t the worst situation you could’ve ended in. 

She’s nice to you, understanding. She doesn’t believe in traditional schooling, she says it’s ‘no wonder’ that you failed. She claims ‘You’re a special girl with the mind of an artist’ and ‘schools aren’t built for people like you two’. You love her, you just can’t stand some of her habits. 

She lives a very hippie lifestyle. She forces you to walk to school, even on the first day, saying it was good for your mental health but all it did was make you incredibly sweaty for your first day. Although it ended up working out for the best. 

You arrived panting and sweaty from your rush over. She hadn’t told you the night before that you’d be walking so you didn’t wake up early enough. You could not stand being late to first period, not wanting to deal with the entire class watching you find a seat. So you had to haul ass to school. You had planned out an incredibly cute outfit that was now ruffled, mussed, and damp with sweat. You wanted to cry as you sat down in the back left corner of the classroom, getting a nice view of the field beside the school, the trees and flowers that live there. You’re huffing and puffing, your breathing all out of order from you trying to regulate it as students pour in. You watched as the cliques formed themselves, having been established in the previous years. You took out a notebook and buried yourself in it, hoping no one would approach you. 

The other students settled down and the teacher began her orientation. You aren’t listening as she speaks, watching the rain that's pattering gently on the classroom window. She was going on about the syllabus, informing you of the incredibly boring things you’d be learning in her class when he burst through. Opening the door with so much force that it slammed on the wall behind it, he was huffing and puffing, nearly soaked in rain with a bag loosely thrown over his shoulder. The thing about him that stuck with you though, was the blinding, dimpled, smile that was on his face. Despite being drenched, late, and the current center of attention, he had the largest smile you had seen all day. It was so genuine that you were smiling along with him without even realizing it. 

“Mr. Munson. I see you’re in my class again…” She spat the words at him so venomously you expected to see his smile drop, falter at least but it widened instead. 

“I am! Yes. I am! And I’d like to focus more on what that says about my… my determination, rather than what I may lack in this particular subject.” Again? Maybe he’s a repeat like me?

Something about the thought made you feel a bit fond of him. 

“Mhm. That’s nice. Have a seat.” She continued to drone on as he looked around for a seat, his eyes widened at you, seeing you already smiling and staring at him. This snapped you out of your trance and you tried desperately to avoid his gaze, pretending like you hadn’t been watching him since he came in. 

He decided to sit next to you and you guys hit it off instantly, later finding that you had almost every class together. You felt so lucky, he was so, so kind. He spent your first two periods and lunch together. He introduced you to his friends, let you know the special ins and outs of the school, and even offered you a ride when he found out your aunt was leaving you hanging. He told you that you’d have to wait with him after school because apparently, he ran a club called “Hellfire”. 

Honestly, in the period after lunch, without him, you questioned if this was the kind of person you should align yourself with. In the next period, with him, when you walked in the door he waved you over and moved the backpack that was on the desk next to him. “Hey! I saved you a seat.” He had that shining, dimpled, smile again and you decided it didn’t matter what kind of person he was. He was kind to you and that’s what mattered. 

You learned a lot about him and you feel like that’s when you started falling in love with him. 

He told you about his struggles with his family, and why he lived with his uncle. He told you about his childhood and got a little teary-eyed, although he still kept his butterfly-inducing smile. 

He told you about his struggles with this town and warned you that you may be subject to ridicule by befriending him. That was the only time his smile fully dropped, he got this kicked puppy look in his eyes as he lied to you, telling you that ‘he’d understand.’ or that ‘you don’t need to feel bad’. You told him you’re not afraid of some small-town hicks. 

He apologized to you at the end of the class, saying it must’ve been awkward to listen to him blubber about his life all class but you, stars in your eyes and in love, adamantly assured him that you didn’t mind. 

You ended up loving his club, the planning, the theatrics, and the suspense, were unbelievable. You were engaged the whole time, obsessed with how Eddie told his story, and invested in the team and their survival. You told Eddie about how cool you thought it was the whole ride home. By the end of the ride, you were apologizing profusely for how much you had talked about it but he, red in the face and flustered, adamantly assured you that he didn’t mind. 

You guys have been almost inseparable since. It’s been about seven months here at Hawkins now and your little crush has snowballed into a bit of a colossal crush on Eddie. Nowadays, your Hellfire visits are filled with you just watching him. You don’t pay attention to the plot, to how the characters are doing, or anything… just him.

 It’s getting a bit embarrassing in fact, because you’ll have fewer things to say on the ride to your house than you usually do and he’s begun to question it, asking if you thought he needed to work on anything and not believing you when you say that ‘he doesn’t need to change anything’ or that ‘it was so perfect you have no notes.’

A secondary reason you’ve started staring at him more is because you’ve been working on something for him; a way for you to confess how you feel about him in a way that you hope he’d like. You’re completely unsure of how he may feel about you. You’ve noticed a few things… the way he’ll save a seat and always give it to you, no matter who arrived before you, how he seemed to be somewhat softer with you than he is with everyone else, but you chalked it up to hopeful thinking. 

You were trying to make a comic of the first time he invited you to Hellfire. You can remember it almost perfectly and for anything you don’t remember you can just refer to your journal. You’d written all about it after you got home. 

You’ve been spending most of your time in the art room now, trying your absolute best to make it the most professional-looking, homemade comic anyone had ever seen. You think about the smile that Eddie would wear, even if he didn’t reciprocate your feelings, you at least hope he appreciates the art. 

You’ve gathered help from a lot of unsuspecting people. You found out that quite a few girls on the cheerleading team are a great help when it comes to designing the outfits. They’ve started to meet you in the art room at lunch to help with the comic, slightly invested in the plot even though you’ve explained multiple times that it’s technically Eddie’s plot. They’ve also become quite interested in your love life, knowing that it’s for Eddie. They actually root for the two of you, they were all much nicer than you expected them to be. 

You’ve started to miss a few club meetings as well. To be fair though, you aren’t technically part of the club. Eddie explained that since you don’t play you’re technically just a consistent bystander. It had hurt your feelings at first, feeling left out of the group but now it’s just convenient. You don’t have to tell Eddie in advance that you aren’t going and you don’t need to tell him why. You always go to the art room instead to work on your comic. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, the cheerleaders join you after practice to help you work some more. You started to fall behind in school work, not paying attention to anyone or anything in class in favor of working on your comic instead. This little picture book has consumed your entire life for a few weeks. Unbeknownst to you, Eddie was suffering the whole time.

He noticed it when it first started. At lunch one day, instead of eating and engaging in the conversation you kept opening your notebook and doodling little things he couldn’t see. He kept having to get your attention and re-explain everything that was happening whenever he tried to include you in the conversation. Eventually, you just told him, with a soft laugh, that you’re not listening. You giggled and went back to your doodling, not even realizing that what they had been talking about, was the idea of you joining Hellfire officially, even if you don’t play. Your disinterest almost broke Eddie’s heart, it hurt a lot actually but he reasoned with himself. 

Maybe she just doesn’t want all the heat, and bullying that comes with being a part of Hellfire. She’s soft, she just doesn’t want to say that right now, in front of the whole table. She’s so cute… She’ll tell me why, later.

You never did. You never explained to him why you cared so little about being in a club he cared so much about. 

You began to pull away more and more after that. He would plan campaigns with you in mind, creating twists and turns he knows you’d love, imagining the look on your face and the excitement in your voice when you’d tell him about it on the ride home. However, you started telling him you couldn’t make it to Hellfire. You never gave him an explanation and he never asked for one, you guys are just friends… he has no right. 

A little piece of his heart would chip away every time you canceled on him, breaking even more whenever he had to receive pitiful stares from everyone else when they noticed characters in the campaign that were so obviously you-coded. The confused looks from every member whenever they asked where you were, only to be met with a sad shrug, became a bit too much for him. He was still giving you a ride home, you’d arrive at the end of Hellfire with a shy smile on your face for it every day so you had to be staying somewhere at school. He was determined to find you. 

He ended Hellfire early one day and set on his quest to find you. He knows you love to read so the library was the first place he checked, only to find the doors locked. His next stop was the art room, stopping to peep inside the cafeteria on his way over and shaking his head sadly when you weren’t there. At this point, he’s sure that you’re in the art room, but what confuses him is that he can hear girly, popular, giggling coming from the very room that you must be in. He rushes over in a half-sprint, thinking that some girls were picking on you but when he gets to the door he can see you laughing along with them as you doodle on something. 

“I mean he’s… cute..” Chrissy Cunningham says to Eddie’s intense confusion. Who are they talking about..? What is she doing with Chrissy Cunningham? The other cheerleaders burst into a smaller fit of laughter at her words. 

“I think he’s cute!” You say and Eddie’s heart sinks at your words. Who? He waits there for a while but you guys never give specifics. He watches the cheerleaders giggle and tease you about your mystery crush. He only witnesses the way you fiddle with your pencil with the biggest smile he’s seen all day splitting your face. It hurts him to see you so happy over someone else, he watches you as a dark, numb, pain spreads inside his chest before walking away with tears in his eyes. His hands were in his pockets, shoulders hunched defeatedly as he heard you girls cheering behind him.

When you came for your ride he wasn’t in the Hellfire classroom waiting for you, instead, he was leaning on his van smoking. He never smoked around you, not cigs at least. You had explained your many bad memories with men who smoked and how it caused you to just despise the smell, that it even caused you a bit of anxiety before you even knew that he smoked. 

Out of kindness, Eddie just avoided smoking around you all together, but right now he was stressed, hurt, and on the verge of a breakdown and a cigarette was the only thing that could keep him from that. 

He didn’t care too much if you minded, you’d already decided you didn’t want to be around him anymore, choosing to hang out with the cheerleaders instead, letting them coax you over to the dark side from right under his nose. He should’ve held onto you tighter, he should’ve known they’d try and snatch you. You were so beautiful, and you’d be so popular under their watch but they’d also corrupt you, turn you into them, murdering the sweet, caring, and loving girl you were. The thought broke his heart, hence the cigarette in between his fingers when you approached him for your ride.

“Hey, Eddie! I was starting to think you left me!” You say with an adorable giggle that he wishes he could smile at. He blows smoke up into the air, avoiding your face, and puts it out. 

“Yeah. I was actually thinking the exact same thing.” He says with a humorless laugh that shocks you. You’re about to ask him if he’s okay when he gets in and starts the van. You rushed over to your side to get in before he drove off in silence. This is when you’d ask him about Hellfire and he’d give you the outline of what happened, but this time when you ask, he responds with “Same old, same old.”

You never thought you craved his voice as much as you do now. The drive is longer, some strange traffic blocking the way and the silence in the van gets to be too much for you. 

Forget about wrapping. 

“Eddie?” He hums at you, letting you know he heard you but doesn't turn to look at you. His eyes stay on the packed, unmoving road. “I- I made you something.”

His head turns to you so fast you can almost hear it crack. “You made me something?” The shock in his voice is surprising. It’s like he never, ever, had even considered that with all your artistic talent, you’d want to make him something. You have all of his attention now. 

“Yeah…” You reach into your bag and pull it out gently while Eddie gets off the road, pulling into a parking lot. “I- Well, I was going to wrap it but I’ll just give it to you now. I- I hope you like it…”

He’s smiling at you as you rummage through your backpack gently for whatever you have for him. He tried not to get too excited but he couldn’t help himself… 

“I’ll love it, sweetheart.” His heart is swelling at the idea of receiving a gift from you. That means at some point, somewhere you had seen something and thought of him, you thought of him so much that you just had to buy that item and you planned on gift wrapping it for him. 

Maybe it's a goodbye present. Fuck- be cool. 

Eddie tried to shove his thoughts to the back of his head, his heart was pounding as you pulled it out of your bag. It was a little book… A comic book? “Oh! What comic is this?”

He grabs it from your hand to read the cover and sees “The Brave, Bold, and Indomitable, Eddie the Banished VOL. 1” He reads it over again and again, believing that his eyes are playing tricks on him before slowly turning to look at you. You had a sweet, shy, and scared smile on your face as you awaited his reaction. “No fucking way.” His voice is a low, stunned, whisper as your smile spreads and he quickly flips through the little book. 

He opened the first page and felt like he couldn’t breathe, the art inside was breathtaking. “No fucking way.” He examined a character that was definitely him, running his fingers over the pages in awe. 

“Yeah, t-that’s you.” You scoot closer to him and lean over the center console to point him out on the page. “Here’s the rest of the party.” You point out more details to him, explaining why you picked some of the outfits you did, and why you chose certain trees and times of day but Eddie isn’t paying very much attention. He’s not even looking at the book anymore, he’s just watching you. You’re explaining every aspect of the page to him as he inspects every aspect of your face. Until you abruptly stop and he watches embarrassment creep into your features. His eyes flicker back to the page as you take your finger away from where you were pointing and he notices a little person in the corner of the page, almost hidden in the bushes as the party makes their way through a forest. 

“What-” He recognizes it on further analysis. “Is that you?” He asks with a chuckle of disbelief as he pulls the page closer to his eyes, admiring your little character. “Why are you in the bushes, sweetheart?” 

You’re stumbling over your words at the pet name. Eddie has used it twice in this car ride alone and you’re struggling not to lose your mind. “U- Um well… I’m- I’m just a bystander so… so I’m just by-standing.” You end the sentence with a sad giggle and your eyes shift to your fidgeting hands in your lap. Eddie’s smile falters at it and the memory of him inviting you to be more than. 

“Yeah. I mean- not for lack of trying y’know? I guess you’d rather be a cheerleader.” He tried to keep his tone light and jovial as he turned the page, now looking for you in every bush. He’s chuckling at your drawings as you’re overcome with confusion. “Eddie. What are you talking about?”

He doesn't look up from the book. “C’mon, love. We offered you a membership without gameplay and you just-” He takes a deep breath as he feels a small lump form at the base of his throat. “You couldn’t have been less interested.” He’s giving you that humorless laugh again as he flips the page. You’re searching your brain, racking your memories, trying to remember when this happened but coming up blank.

“Eddie, I don’t remember that happening.” He sighs, shuts the book, and shoves it under his thigh before starting the van back up, sad anger bubbling in his chest. 

“Listen, I get it. Y’know, you wanna be popular. I understand the pull, sweetheart. I don’t blame you at all.” You’ve never felt more confused as Eddie pulled out of the parking lot. Your silence makes him nervous, and nerves make his mouth run. 

“I mean… When you got here- poor unsuspecting, you- didn’t believe that the first friend you made was-” He lifts his hands from the wheel for a moment to make air quotes. “The town freak.” He gives you that laugh again.

“I’m honestly surprised that it took you so long to leave us losers for the popular crowd!” His voice is still upbeat, and light, as though he wasn’t breaking your heart and insulting you to your core at the same time. “OH! I- I guess you just needed a ride, right? It’s alright, sweetpea.” He’s so frustrating, that fake smile plastered on his face as he pulls up to your house. 

“Eddie.” Your voice is strained around the ball in your throat but still angry. “I don’t know what you’re talking about and I don’t even like what you’re saying so either explain or just stop talking.” He parks the van on your curb and stares at you silently. You take this as the ‘stop talking’ option. “Okay. Thanks for the ride…” You hop out of his van sadly and turn around. “I- I hope you like your comic, Eddie…” With that, you slam the door closed and rush to your front porch. Eddie waits to watch you enter the house before pulling out of your driveway, trying not to let his guilt override his anger. 

On the whole drive home, Eddie is mulling over everything you said. Your seemingly genuine confusion over the invitation. He thinks over the original scene, you did say you weren’t listening. Eddie thought you meant it in the sense where you knew what the conversation was about but you wanted to stay out of it… but maybe you literally were not listening. Maybe you legitimately did not hear what they had said. 

Eddie pulls into his driveway and opens the comic book, deciding he needs to read it before heading in. He didn’t realize how long he’d end up spending in his van, reading your comic but when he finally looked up from the pages, getting butterflies from your art and how vividly you remember his campaign, the sky was dark. He chuckled to himself and headed inside to get ready for bed. 

Eddie flipped through the comic all night, noticing a pattern within your art. You were on every page that the Hellfire party was on, watching what he assumed was all of them. He was obsessed with your art, especially your character, and was psycho analyzing her when he noticed it. She was staring at his character. On every page the two of you were on, you were staring at him, your line of sight fixed on his character. 

He felt as though he was losing his mind as he frantically flipped through every page. His heart raced as he watched your character watch him. He loved it, whether you did it on purpose or not, it was doing something to him. Heat rushed to his face as he put the book away and calmed himself down. He didn’t want to read too much into it but he couldn’t help the way his heart raced when he approached you about it the next day. 

He wanted to work up to the subject, he wanted to pretend that it hadn’t consumed his every thought since he noticed but instead, he just blurted it out to you the moment he sat down.

“Why are you watching me?” His face goes red after the words shoot out, wishing he had taken more time to craft what he wanted to ask. He watches humored puzzlement bloom over your face as you giggle softly, giving him butterflies in his tummy.

 “Eddie, you just got here. I was gonna say hi…” Your voice is timid, still careful after the little argument yesterday and fear begins to curl in Eddie’s stomach. He forgot he had been an asshole to you yesterday. 

Maybe it’s a coincidence, maybe she was just drawing her “good side”. Why would she be staring at you, Munson? Get a grip, Jesus.  

He tries to play it off. “I- I’m just sayin’ you could’ve waved or something.” He tries to sound upbeat, and cheerful, but he can’t get it to sound genuine. All night he’s been fantasizing about what it would be like if you actually liked him back. How he would give you hugs and kisses no matter where you were. He thought about how in love with you he’d be, it’d be pretty annoying to everyone else but he wouldn’t even care. 

He knows you’d love it too, he’d give you everything he has, everything he had and ever will have. 

He shouldn't have gotten so far ahead of himself. 

He thought about how he would follow you to whatever college you wanted to go to- if you wanted to go. He would get a job nearby and you guys could rent an apartment together. He’d wait until you’ve graduated to ask you to marry him. He’d take you to your favorite spot, with all your favorite things, and propose to you in whatever way you’d want him to. He’d spare no expense on the ring- if that’s something you’d care about. 

He’d start a mechanic shop with Wayne and they’d be so rich that you wouldn't even need to work if you didn’t want to. He thought about your kids, he’d hope that they look like you, they’d get far in the world being as beautiful as you are. He wants them to be like you too, good, sweet, and caring. He spent the night going over your whole lives together, his cheeks sore from how long he’d been smiling. But you don’t like him like that. 

Eddie distantly hears the bell ring, not realizing he’d spent the whole class moping over the fact that you don’t like him. He looks around to see you’ve already left him. You usually wait with him, you like to chat on the way to the next class. Your absence has never felt so painful for him. 

Once he’s gathered his things he heads to the next class where he sees your seat surrounded by cheerleaders, a small smile on your face as they seem to dote on you. He decides he doesn’t need to sit with you today, you have enough people to keep you company. He actively avoids looking at you for the duration of the class, rushing out once the bell rings. 

He rushes to the bathroom, bumping into people and getting insults hurled his way in the process. He gets to his stall, with all his graffiti, and slumps against the wall to the floor. His mind is racing, his chest heaving as he tries to cope with losing you. She’s with them now I guess? But- 

His memories flash back to all the times you guys hung out, just the two of you. He felt as though you were just a better, female version of him. You were an outcast but in the best- or worst- way possible. You were like a gem he had found in this pile of shit town, everyone else had overlooked you, not wanting to wash the shit off to see you shine, but he had. He didn’t care about the shit, he wanted to be there for you in the way no one was there for him when he arrived. 

He thinks he fell in love with you the moment he found out you were also repeating your senior year, not for the third time like him but still. He thought it was cute how embarrassed you were about the fact that you were repeating, he loved the way he was able to help you be more comfortable and help you understand that it’s not your fault.

 He felt like- He thought that he was something special to you, he hoped he was something special to you. He treats you like you’re something special to him because you are- or at least he thought he treated you like that. 

Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he should’ve invited you to play in Hellfire more often, invited you over more, given you more of his lunch when your aunt forgot to give you money, and given you a better discount on his weed. Maybe he should’ve just been less of a freak. 

Tears are gathering in his eyes as he angrily rubs at them, feeling pathetic. Crying over a girl in a bathroom stall. I really am a fucking loser. 

He takes a few deep breaths before getting off the ground, leaving the bathroom, and heading to the cafeteria. He expects to see you at his table, and the butterflies in his stomach come back to life when he imagines the tone you’ll give him when you ask where he’s been like you always do when he’s late. He grabs lunch and sits down… you’re nowhere to be seen. 

“Where’s your better half?” Gareth asks, gaining a laugh from the table. It just hurts Eddie more. He stays silent, pulling out his Walkman and letting music drown out every voice or thought in his head until he sees people getting up to leave. 

“Hey, Ed.” Gareth is the only one who waited for him.

“I’m sorry if I was an ass earlier. I know you like her, I just- I thought you actually did know where she was.” Eddie feels his throat close up and almost rolls his eyes at himself. 

“It’s fine, Gareth. She’s probably off with Chrissy Cunningham.” He says with a gruff, tense voice, ignoring the shock that plasters on Gareth’s face.

“Cunningham? What- How does she even know her?” Eddie shrugs and starts walking to his next class, Gareth following close behind. “She’s like what? Friends with them now? She’s gonna be a cheerleader or something?” Eddie feels his emotions building inside him, like an overfilled balloon and he’s about to pop. 

He stops walking and turns to him. “I don't fucking know, Gareth.” Gareth’s gaze shifts from Eddie immediately. “I don’t know why she’s hanging out with them now. I don’t know why she doesn’t come to Hellfire or why she doesn’t talk to me on the ride to her house anymore. I don’t know!” Eddie is met with silence at the end of his rant. “Oh! I know.” His voice has dropped to a low, condescending, whisper. 

“Maybe she got tired of being one of the freaks, hmm?” He rushes off to his next class and for the first time, he’s grateful that you’re not in it. 

You’re in class and your thoughts could not be further from the material. You’re thinking about Eddie of course. The way he acted in the van yesterday, the way he acted in first period, and even second period. You noticed he came into lunch late and didn’t even speak to anyone when he did come in. He didn’t look at you, talk to you, or anything. It hurt. 

You’re anxious, leg bouncing and chewing on your pen as you watch the clock. You need to see him, ask him what’s wrong. 

Maybe he figured it out. Fear shoots through you. Maybe he figured out that I like him from the comic. I didn’t get to explain much but he’s smart enough to figure it out on his own. Is this his reaction to my liking him? No. It can’t be. Even if he didn’t like me back… I don’t think he’d treat me like this. I think he would let me down gently.  

It’s a nice thought but it just leaves you back where you started. What is wrong with Eddie?

You’re ready to ask him. You got there first and pulled his desk a little closer to yours, hoping to have a full, meaningful conversation with him. He never shows. 

This isn’t alarming to anyone but you, everyone scoffs when the teacher reads out Eddie’s name the second time. There are murmurs of “took him long enough” and “I’m so shocked” hurting you with their lack of care. You wait for attendance to finish before asking to go to the bathroom. You take your bag with you and no one questions it, knowing you as the ‘good girl’, not realizing you’re about to skip class for the first time. 

You roam the school looking for Eddie. You check Hellfire’s room, the band room, even the art room but you can’t find him. You check places he wouldn’t be, the library, the computer lab, and even the abandoned school basement. Your heart is racing as you rush out to the parking lot, hoping at least his van is still here and that’s where you find him. Coughing on what you assume is cigarette smoke by his van.

“Eddie!” You shout his name without thinking and his head whips in your direction, shocked. A smile spreads on his face as you stomp toward him. Despite all the unknowing pain you’ve put him through today, the butterflies in his stomach are still alive for you. 

“Eddie, what the fuck?” His smile falters but quickly returns as he goes to hand you the joint he’s smoking. 

“You’re skipping!? You look like you need this more than I do.” You take the joint and inhale the most smoke you can without burning your lungs, Eddie looks impressed. 

“I do need this more than you.” You speak as you exhale. Eddie is staring at the joint, waiting for you to pass it back but instead, you take another hit. “I need this more than you do because I’m not the one who is stressing you beyond oblivion! What is going on with you?” Eddie’s eyes are on the ground as he kicks the little rocks there. 

“Eddie. You know you can talk to me, right? If anything is going on with Wayne or- or maybe something else? I don’t know I- I just- I can’t figure out why you’re acting so… different.”

He laughs. He fully laughs at you. His hand on his chest, leaning back and roaring his laughter into the air. “I’m acting different?” He snatches the joint from your hand. “I’m the one acting different, sweetheart? Miss ‘So sorry I can’t come to Hellfire today! No! I’m not going to explain!’, you’re telling me that I’m acting different?” He takes a drag 

“You don’t care about my campaigns anymore, you never have time to come over, you never have time for me to come over, and now you- you don’t sit with me at- at lunch anymore?” His voice breaks at the end and he turns away to take a hit before you can see the tears in his eyes. “Don’t tell me that I’m stressing you out.” He scoffs and holds his hand out, passing you the joint. 

It strikes something in you; Eddie still passing the joint back to you even though he’s upset. You take it from him with a small ‘thank you’ and take a hit before responding. “I was- It was the comic Eddie… I was working on the comic. It was harder than it looked I guess. I- I couldn’t get your hair right and-”

Eddie hasn’t reacted, he feels like he’s in shock, like his heart has stopped, he’s having a stroke, something. Your voice sounds far away as he’s buried in his thoughts. 

I’m a dickhead. I’m an asshole. She was doing it for me and I’m- I was yelling at her for it. I’m a fucking asshole. She’s still talking to me so softly too. Fuck. Why isn’t she upset with me? Why isn't she yelling at me? Why aren’t I apologizing? 

“I’m sorry!” His voice is the epitome of pitiful, he didn’t notice the knot that had made home in his throat or the tears that had been sitting on the ducts. Your eyes are wide and you almost drop the joint to hug him, knowing he gets emotional when he’s high. 

“Why are you sorry? You don’t need to be sorry- what’s wrong?” His arms wrap around you, crushing you to his chest as he huffs out breaths into your hair. He’s trying to calm down, trying to not completely break down in front of you but he’s failing so far. 

Fuck- fuck. Stop crying- what the fuck happened to you? Stop blubbering like a bitch- She’s she’s so soft- oh fuck she’s so warm. She’s so fucking sweet. I fucking love her. She’s- She’s so stupid.

“I do ne- need to be sorry what are you talking about?” He pulls away, leaving one hand on your shoulder as he runs his knuckles and the back of his arm along the bottom of his nose. “I was being an asshole- an asshole. When you were just tryna do something nice.” He’s breathing out shuddering breaths as he speaks. 

She’s too sweet to me. She still has her arms around me- such a fucking sweetheart. I love her- I want her, I wanna tell her. 

You don’t know what the fuck is going on. Eddie is a blubbery mess in front of you, holding you close as he tries to calm himself down. He’s gripping your shoulder so hard you feel like he may puncture your skin but you never want him to move it. 

You should be focusing on the fact that he’s crying because he thinks he was mean to you but all you can think about is one thing.

His lips are wet and pink from his tears and his teeth.

You try to ignore it; the urge to kiss him. You try to think about how to comfort him but your arms are still around his waist, it would be so easy to just pull him in…

“Eddie. I don’t mind, I should’ve told you.” You separate from him and he gasps softly. 

“I was actually spending so much time on it for a more selfish reason.” Your heart is racing but not as much as it was the last time you planned to confess. 

How nice he is to you has to mean something, he gives you a ride home every day. That has to mean something. He gives you discounts on weed when you know he makes Gareth pay extra. How upset he is over possibly being mean to you. That has to mean something. The way he’s looking at you right now… That has to mean something. 

“Eddie, I like you.” You shove the words out of your throat, leaving you breathless after they come out. “I- shit.” You looked at him. His face is blank. “I really like you, so much that if you don’t like me back I- I don’t care- We- we can just be friends. We can- I can pretend that this never happened… It’s okay.” You’re a little frantic as you get the words out, nervous at Eddie’s silence. 

You risk a glance at his face and there are tears in his eyes again. “Can I kiss-” He inhales a gasp. “Can I kiss you?” His face is full of wonder like he’s genuinely in disbelief at what’s happening. 

You want to cry. “Yes. Please.” You try not to sound too eager but you’re already taking a step toward him and your hands are reaching for him. 

He’s all over you in an instant, whimpering into your mouth the moment your lips meet. His hands are covering both sides of your face, pulling you into him desperately. He’s twisted you up against his van, his hands moved to your waist to bring you impossibly closer. You pull away with a smile to breathe but Eddie whimpers and leans back into your lips. 

You can’t help the giggle that comes out, breaking the kiss and causing Eddie to whine again. “I thought you wanted to kiss me? Kiss me.” 

“Wait- I’m a-” Eddie pulls back to let you speak, although you can see he wishes he didn’t have to. “Eddie… You like me?” His eyes widen and his face turns red at the question. 

“How is that even a question you’re asking me right now? I- of course, I like you. I can’t believe that you like me.” His voice is gentle as he speaks, tense like he’s waiting for you to change your mind about him. You shake your head with a smile and pull him back in, humming happily as his lips eagerly press into yours. 

You guys left school then, Eddie drives you both to his place and you guys finish the joint on the way. His hand was on your thigh the whole time with that shining, dimpled smile, beaming at the road the entire ride. It was the best ride of your life, it had you thinking about your life with him. 

How much you’d love him. How you’d give him hugs and kisses no matter where you guys were. You thought about how in love you are, it’d be pretty annoying to everyone else but you wouldn’t even care. You know he’d love it too, you’d give you everything you have, had, and ever will have. 

Thank you so much for reading! and thank you even more for requesting!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

#eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things #stranger things smut #luvrxsmut #luvrxfics

[akutasoda]

hello!! Hope you're having a nice day. Can I request a Sunday x business partner! reader angst where theyre both in denial of eachother because theyre scared that theyll lose whatevers going on between them? Sort of inspired by the line "and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you." From somethin stupid by frank sinatra. If its too confusing pls ignore thank youu

just business right?

synopsis - business partners may develop a deeper connection, but do they act on it?

includes - sunday

warnings - gn!reader, angst no comfort, misunderstandings, two people who suck at feelings, maybe ooc?, wc - 894

a/n: hi!! im having a great day! hope you are aswell? absolutely loved this idea (don't think i did it enough justice)

penacony was a prime planet for businesses and a massive area for further clients. so who wouldn't want to work alongside the planet of festivities? and therefore the family had many business partners that worked inside and outside the dreamscape and among some of them was you.

your original client that you had been associated with was the family's very own sunday. he had in fact reached out to you upon the family's request and so he becane your original client inside penacony, so it only became natural that he continued to work closely alongside you and your business.

you and him interacted on an everyday occurrence. work related conversations became mixed with genuine asks, such as how the others day was, and even more genuine intrigue about the other person outside of work. eventually even conversing outside the dreamscape on a regular occurrence.

encounters became less formal, no longer did it feel as though you two were restricted to work based topics and soon after a wave of embarrassment washed over the two of you. the sudden realisation made sunday immediately turn back to strict work related conversations with you - it didn't help that you also did the same.

it pained the both of you. eventually you really couldn't stand that the both of you had deemed eachother as nothing but business partners and so you confronted him about it. so what if you both were business partners, surely that shouldn't restrict the fact that you both could be friends aswell?

and so you both agreed that to make it more natural, you two could converse as friends outside of the dreamscape. it may sound like a form of business deal but you both could tell that there was something there. a genuine connection between the two of you that would work outside of business mettings and contaracts.

sunday practically wanted to thank you for being the one to snap him out of his distant attitude at the very first sign of getting close to someone. he enjoyed each and every second he spent with you even more as it was no longer obliged of him. instead it offered a small respite in his ever busy schedule, a time where you two were no longer business partners but friends. and one the most genuine he'd ever had.

somewhere along the line sunday had noticed his feelings shift. the compliments you'd usually give him now made him blush and force him to curl a wing around his mouth to hide that stupid lovestruck smile he formed. he'd diligently memorised each and every one of your likes and dislikes and whenever he saw something similar his mind immediately went to you.

but little did he know, you were also harbouring similar feelings. you had caught yourself staring at him whenever he was in the vicinity, regardless if what he was doing. more often you were messaging him to join you in whatever menial task you had to complete if he wasn't busy.

however you weren't so blind to what this meant. you knew you had developed a crush on your business partner, i mean who could really blame you? but you were faced with a rather difficult situation. you knew how he reacted the moment he realised you two were becoming something more than business partners and the very last thing you would want is too loose this friendship. so, painfully, you let it be - in hopes he'd have the same feelings and confess to you.

sunday wasn't fairing much better. most relationships he built with people were strictly business related or ones that gave him an advantage, the only exception up to now was his sister. he wasn't exactly dumb when it came to what his feelings were so he denied them. but you had fitted so perfectly into his life that it scared him. and so he chose to bury his feelings even more.

many times had he caught himself in the middle of composing a message to you inviting you to a fantastic restaurant or cafe or even to a spot that may be of interest to you - practically asking you on a date. and when he caught himself he immediately backtracked and turned his phone off before cursing himself internally.

he oh so desperately wished he could just ask you out. but he was too scared. scared you didn't feel the same way or scared that something would happen. and so he tried to convince himself that he was fine as your friend, fine as your business partner but he wasnt.

you had tried to convince yourself with a similar lie, same result. it really had become a stalemate. you both could see the longing in eachothers eyes for something more but you both would convince yourselves that it wasn't anything beyond the friendship you'd built. what would it take for either of you to realise? to not care and finally take the risk?

#x reader #x gender neutral reader #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr x you #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail sunday #hsr sunday #sunday x reader

[splatattackz]

not to have bad faith but i dont fully trust what léas said. it doesnt line up with some previously said things i think. they also literally have a union on their ass right now i doubt what she said is totally the case. its also just a gut feeling, and my gut rarely isnt right.

at the very least i think its a misunderstanding. they could be focusing on a different issue in this whole situation and may get to what léas speaking about soon but not right now. the kicking of actors and admins may be so they have ample room to investigate and restructure everything - temporary. and once again they literally have a union on their ass i dont think theyd kick workers with no reason behind it

idk. we'll see how things advance. im not saying léa is doing this maliciously, maybe emotionally and out of worry yes, but she is stirring the pot. i think it'd be best to keep quiet until things advance more. in the end, we're only 3 days into a deep running issue. so things will pan out still with time.

dont panic.

#qsmp #qadmins situation #qsmp discourse #discourse #qsmpattackz #splatattackz

[fairykazu]

misunderstandings ft. childe

inspo: “I know you don’t like labels, so will you be my married-person-thing?”

it's hard to be in love with someone who's so obvious that they like you back but refuse to admit it. unfortunately, that's the situation childe has with you. everyone could see the love and affection in your eyes whenever you see the ginger male. but no matter hard they try to make you admit that you like him, you shut your mouth and change the subject.

well, you have had admitted it quietly in your friend's ear once but maybe too loudly because childe's ear perked up when you said his name. you immediately changed the subject right away.

"name? did you say my name?" childe asked as you tried to play off your flustered look,

"no? i was talking about albedo's sister. i mean, it's amazing how hes able to work around her. because um... children! i meant to say children not "childe". you have selective hearing! thats what you have." you spluttered up as amber whispered in your ear,

"good save."

he smiled hoping not in an awkward way and said, "ohh! thats what you mean."

that was so not what you meant and sadly, it's gotten so obvious even the subject of your affection noticed. it's not that hard to notice. even though, your state of denial does annoy him when he tries to court you like a peacock, he does like the chase. but the real question is, is he the prey or the predator in the situation?

you noticed that childe has been... not himself? not at all, in a bad way, of course but it's interesting that your boyfriend is acting like he has fallen in love all over again. do you have to worry about how his eyes only glimmer around you? maybe, but his eyes are pretty. speaking of the devil, he just texted you.

\\ 🍊: name

\\ 🍊: i need to talk to you rq

\\ 🍊: pls 🥲

he's so silly sometimes. you remember when he barely used emojis when you first began being friends. but as your relationship grew, he started to adapt how you texted. it's cute.

\\ 🍓: call?

\\ 🍊: ummm no. come to my house.

\\ 🍓: rn? it's like 7 😭😭

\\ 🍊: yes... well no 😞

\\ 🍊: you know what im coming over rn

\\ 🍓: RN?

\\ 🍊: yes.

what just happened?

---

childe arrived at your doorstep, out of breath. it was cold. too cold and it was snowing. he loves the cold and his favorite memories with you was building a snowman and a snow woman together with teucer. teucer isn't really picky with people but he approves of you a lot. childe remember how happy you were when he told you that his little brother likes to hang out with you. despite it all, he still has the balls to confess and ask you out. or if you don't like labels. thats fine. if he's able to relax in your warmth somehow, he'd be content. no dating? it's okay. he will wait for you. he slipped into his pocket, looking for his phone, texting you.

\\ 🍊: pls open your door.

\\ 🍊: it's too cold and you know i can handle the cold

\\ 🍊: name pls

\\ 🍊: berry berry pls

the door opened wide, the warmth of your apartment escaping to the chilled breeze. he was bundled up in different layers. one hand has his phone the other was buried in his pocket. you were confused. he would be confused too if he was you. he was guessing what kind of thoughts ran in your mind like why you are here out of breath? wouldnt you be sick? while you welcomed him into the apartment, closing the door behind him and helping childe take off one or two layers of clothes. once he was warmed up and comfortable, you asked him, "did you run here? we live 2 hours away from each other. why didn't you take your car? why couldn't just call?"

he nodded off your questions. he looked up at you and you looked kind of pissed and annoyed. "okay, i will answer that if you just listen to me."

your stance changed from closed off to open, you crossed your arms though. "okay?"

"okay. um, i wanted to do this in a nicer and different setting. it'd would be much better than this and i promise i'll do it in a different way too." he looked at you again for approval. your hand moved in a circular motion, signaling him to get to the point. "well, i like you and i think you like me too. i know you don't really like those labels of being-" he fakes quoted with his fingers. " 'together'. but would you be my significant-married-person-thing with me? if you don't, it's fine."

after he got that off his chest, he sighed deeply. he waited for your response. half hoping that he didn't get rejected by you just now. but all he heard was laughing. nervously, he looked at you again. "what?"

"i thought we were together." you sat next to him, trying to snifle your laughs. he could see the tears outlining your eyes. instictively, he wiped off a tear off your face.

you watched how your words finally were processed in childe's brain and you could vividly see a lightbulb light up just now. "what?"

"i thought we were dating already."

"when did you think that???"

"well, in like highschool or middle school, when we were sleeping on my bed for one of our saturday sleepovers. you said, 'name, i want to be together with you forever.' and i replied with, 'i'd like that.'"

childe's face morphed, "but i didn't ask you officially. you knew i liked you from the start???"

"only because i thought we were dating from the start. gosh, my boyfriend is so stupid."

BOYFRIEND?? VGBHJMAKLS;VPNEF L YAYY WHOOSH BOYFRIEND... wait a minute. "if we are dating, why did you ignore me at school and become flustered?"

"good question. i don't remember."

"WHAT???"

"i'm just kidding, childe. also were you dreaming because the only time that happened was like highschool. i feel like we shouldve had a chat about this."

"you think??"

"im sorry childe. here's your apology gift." you pecked his lips. he melted instantly.

"don't you think... this makes you forgiven."

"oh how dare i think that! so... do you want to watch tangled again?"

"yes."

#genshin impact x you #genshin impact fanfics #genshin fluff #gender neutral reader #genshin impact x reader #fairykazu #childe x reader #childe x gender neutral reader #childe x you #childe x y/n #childe fluff #gi childe #childe genshin impact #genshin impact childe #tartagalia fluff #gi tartaglia #tartagalia x you #genshin tartagalia #tartagalia x reader #tartaglia #childe #genshin #childe tartagalia #genshin impact #childe tartaglia ajax #ajax x y/n #ajax x you #ajax x reader

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for blocking a friend on instinct? So i (f16) have this friend, (m16) we can call him D, who i've been friends with since kindergarten.

About a year ago, i started growing very close to D through our friend group's dnd campaign we held every friday. I knew him for a long time but that was the first time we had started hanging out out of school. We were talking on snapchat every night just chatting and after a while he started to send much more... revealing snaps. Just his bare shoulders but like without a shirt. He said it was because he had to let his medication for his back dry. I was a little uncomfortable, but we were friends so i didnt think that it would escalate into anything weird.

After about a month, D starts sending snaps in a towel and pictures of his chest which made me very uncomfortable. I kind of let the chatting die down after that because it was the only way i could think of that would be enough to gently let him down easy (i was wrong). I stopped going to the hangouts with that group and kind of distanced myself because how uncomfortable D made me. This only made D try harder to get my attention.

I was still friends with the others in the group so i would often have one-on-one hangouts with the others and watch tv. One thing we watched was Miraculous and we laughed and joked about it all the time. D overheard us or something and went home and binge watched the entire series in a week. Then everytime i ate lunch with that friend group, D would always make direct references to Miraculous or sing the theme song really loud. This wasnt once a day, D would make miraculous references every single minute. He became obsessed with the show (which, for reference of how weird it was, D is a very religious Christian boy. He gets upset if he gets an A- and never drinks caffeine (no problem with any of those things but just understand that kind of guy being deep within the fandom of Miraculous out of all shows 😭)). It was so bad, and it once again was making me very uncomfortable.

Eventually, it got to an insufferable point where D changed his route to go home and made sure to pass me every day after school and wave. I started avoiding him in the halls, he would always ask obscure questions that werent that important. I couldn't understand why he couldn't get that i didnt want to be friends with him anymore so i set boundaries.

A text i sent to D: i apologize if i ever caused any misunderstanding, but i would like to make it clear that im not romantically interested in you. i can see that you have been trying to grow closer, but i dont feel the same way. i don't appreciate being followed around, and i dont like when people force themselves to like the same things i like. its not attractive to be a copy of someone. i enjoy being your friend but it's difficult to disregard these things. if im being totally honest, when you do things like this, it makes me really uncomfortable and borderline creeped out. i know crushes wont disappear overnight but i would appreciate more space. if youre looking for a girlfriend, this isnt the right person, nor the right way to get it. and i wont tell anyone about this so dont worry about word spreading or anything. thank you

D's response: Oh, I'm so sorry I made you think that! I don't have a crush on you, I just noticed how you don't hang out with our friend group as often and I just wanted to make sure that I was being as nice as possible to make sure you weren't mad at us or anything. I did start to think that maybe me trying all that made me seem clingy or annoying, so I'm really sorry for all of that. Thanks for bringing this to my attention, I'll try to do better now!

This didnt sit right with me because after all of that i cannot fathom how that translates to "i wanted to include you". This made me question a lot about the situation.

Reasons i feel like i MBTA: i'm over thinking things and D could be a genuinely a nice person. Its hard for me to read the room and i need to work on that and probably apologize to D.

Reasons i feel like i MNBTA: i should trust my instincts rather than ignore them. I've had a psychological abuser in my family before and the situation could be a stalker behavior that i've learned is not ok to have.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[carpedzem]

hi

under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

[eundiarys]

02. sweet stranger

genre : idol! au, fake dating au to actually really dating, fluff, no angst i think!!!!! maybe, my humor sorry

warnings : mentions of drinking, and yn being a little sad and taehyun comforts her :3 that’s it i think..

summary : in which — yn who just debuted gets into a dating scandal with one of the most famous group members because of a misunderstanding and is forced to fake date with him. what happens if it isn’t as bad as she thinks? and and what if she finds comfort with him?

“the total is 10,000 won. thank you for shopping with us.”

you gave the cashier the money and walked out the store. you needed some fresh air to ease up. you felt too nervous about your debut. but hey, what can a drink not fix?

you sat down outside the store and started drinking. very immature of you, drinking your worries away. but you don’t know who to talk too other than the members.

you felt a tear fall down your cheek. but rather than wiping it away, you chose to ignore it and continue drinking.

you were pulled back into reality when you heard a voice. “excuse me? are you okay?” he says.

you turned to your side to see a tall guy with messy pink-ish blonde hair and big eyes. that’s the only thing you could see on his face since he was wearing a mask. he must think im crazy.

“oh um. im fine, thanks for asking.”

silence filled the atmosphere. you thought he’d leave but when you peeked at the side you can still see him standing there.

is he a ghost or something oh my god am i dying before i even get to debut???? please, i can’t waste my two years like that! i haven’t even been to a twice concert!

but to your suprise, he actually sat down beside you. he opened his mask and also took out a drink, and placed it on the table. you looked up to him, confused.

“you can talk to me. you don’t have to be embarrassed cause you don’t know me. im sure talking to someone will make you feel atleast slightly relieved.” you could tell that he was giving you a small smile because his big doe eyes grew smaller as he smiled.

“umm.. well i don’t know where to start.” you replied, voice lower than before.

“i don’t mind. take your time.”

“okay um i can’t tell you my real situation right now but i’ll use like a psychology or whatever you call it.”

“do you mean analogy?” he chuckled softly. you hid your face out of embarassment.

“yeah. that. so okay its like im joining a team or something but im scared at how other people will think of us. i don’t want them to look bad just because people don’t like me you know? like i don’t want them to lose popularity. or something. so im worried about public’s opinion and stuff.”

“you make it sound like you’re an idol debuting in a group thats well known and you’re scared netizens won’t like you and it’ll effect the group.”

thats exactly my situation. i hate smart people sometimes. “eh, who knows. i might be”

“sure you are. well, i think that you shouldn’t worry about this.”

“thats easy to say” you sighed.

“im not finished. i get it that you’re worried but im sure people will like you as long as you’re not rude or something. why should people care if you join the group or not? they don’t know you. im sure you’re an amazing person with an amazing personality and that they will love you.”

“oh wow. thanks” you gave him a small chuckle.

“what? im not really good at giving advices. but i am trying to comfort you..”

“and i really appreciate it. thank you ... ???”

“taehyun. im taehyun” he says.

“thank you, taehyun. i mean it. im sorry but i’ll go now, my friends are gonna be worried if i come home late.”

“of course. do you need me to talk you home?” he offers, but you kindly reject. you both gave eachother your goodbyes and went to your own ways.

while walking home, you felt relief wash over you. you thought about how sweet it was of him to comfort you, regardless you guys not knowing eachother. he stayed and comforted you even though he does not even know your name.

you hoped to see him again. and next time hopefully not crying.

masterlist ʚ♡ɞ next

authors note , HOW WAS THIS WRITTEN CHAPTER?? plz give feedbacks, i don’t rly like it but its okay, i’ll get better. Well. hopefully :/

taglist , @kiribirien @wccycc @hanniluvi @imhuh @ashxxkook @yeniiverse @suburbiataehyung @eveyi (thank you for reading!)

#— by ​eundiarys ૮꒰•༝ •。꒱ა #txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt fanfics #txt reactions #txt smau #taehyun fanfic #taehyun x reader #taehyun smau #txt #soobin #yeonjun #beomgyu #hueningkai #i feel like the tags r too short #txt fluff #txt taehyun

[ayelbee]

MORE THAN LOVE | K. MBAPPÉ | 7

previous chapter |

masterlist

Summary: Sometimes even love is not enough for relationships. But it's fine because you are over it. But getting again in a contact with his younger brother wasn't smart.

TW: bad english, bad writing

Notes: Hey, I'm so sorry that this took me so long, but last few months weren't really good to me. I'm really grateful for those who reached out to me (sorry, for no answering loves, but i do really love you and im thankful for you)

I will be back soon with a new chapter, love you very much guys

---

The next few days were a whirlwind of emotions. You tried to focus on work, but thoughts of Kylian kept creeping into your mind. You couldn't shake the feeling that maybe Ethan was right, that maybe there was still a chance for you and Kylian. But your rational side reminded you of the reasons you two broke up in the first place.

One evening, as you were sitting on your couch, scrolling through your phone, you received a text from an unknown number. It simply read, "Can we talk?" You felt a mix of curiosity and apprehension. After a moment of contemplation, you replied with a hesitant, "Okay."

The response came quickly, "Meet me at our spot tomorrow, 7 PM."

"Our spot" was a small park near the Seine River where you and Kylian used to spend lazy afternoons. It held countless memories, both happy and bittersweet. The idea of meeting there again brought a flood of emotions, but you agreed nonetheless.

The next evening, you found yourself at the park, the air filled with the fragrance of blooming flowers. As you approached the familiar bench, you saw Kylian waiting. His expression was a mix of nervousness and determination.

"Hi," he greeted you, standing up as you approached.

"Hi," you replied, unsure of what to expect.

Kylian gestured to the bench, and you both sat down. The silence hung heavy in the air until Kylian spoke, "I've been doing a lot of thinking, Y/n."

You looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I know things between us didn't end well, and I've spent these days realizing my mistakes. I miss you, and I miss us," he confessed, his eyes searching yours for any sign of reciprocation.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "Kylian, we broke up for a reason. I can't forget the arguments, the misunderstandings, and the pain we caused each other."

He nodded, acknowledging your words. "I've been talking to my brother, and he made me see things from a different perspective. I know I messed up, but I'm willing to change, to make things work."

You looked at him skeptically, but a small part of you wanted to believe him. "Kylian, change takes time. It's not something that happens overnight. And I can't ignore the past."

He reached for your hand, his touch familiar and comforting. "I'm willing to put in the effort, Y/n. I love you, and I want to make things right."

As you looked into his eyes, you saw a sincerity that tugged at your heartstrings. The inner battle between your emotions and logic continued. Could Kylian change? Could you trust him again?

But deep down, you knew that reopening old wounds might not be the best idea. With a heavy heart, you pulled your hand away and said, "Kylian, I appreciate your honesty, but I need time to think. We both do."

He nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. "Take all the time you need, Y/n. I just want a chance to show you that I can be the man you deserve."

You left the park that evening with a mix of emotions. The ball was now in your court, and the decision weighed heavily on your shoulders. The ride home was filled with the echoes of Kylian's words, leaving you in a state of uncertainty about the path ahead.

Could Kylian become the man you deserve? This wasn't the first time Kylian promised you that he would work on himself. Memories of that day came back to into your head.

The following week marked your return from the trip to visit your family in New York. The air in the apartment felt different as you unpacked your bags and settled back into your routine. The memories of the argument with Kylian still lingered, but there was an unspoken understanding that both of you needed time and space to heal.

As you entered the living room, you found Kylian sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone. The atmosphere was tense, but you were determined to address the underlying issues.

"Hey," you greeted him, trying to keep your tone neutral.

Kylian looked up, offering a small smile. "Hey. How was your trip?"

"It was good. Nice to spend time with my family," you replied, taking a seat opposite him.

A silence hung in the air, heavy with the weight of unspoken words. You decided to break it, "Kylian, we need to talk about what happened before I left."

He nodded, his eyes reflecting a mix of regret and longing. "I know. I messed up, Y/n. I shouldn't have said those things."

You sighed, "It's not just about what you said. It's about us, about our expectations and how we communicate. I don't want us to keep hurting each other."

Kylian ran a hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration. "I don't want that either. I just… I got scared, and I didn't handle it well."

"I get that you're worried about us, about me. But we can't let fear dictate how we communicate," you emphasized.

He looked at you, his eyes searching for understanding. "I don't want to lose you, Y/n. I love you, and I don't want my insecurities to ruin what we have."

The sincerity in his voice tugged at your heart. "Kylian, I love you too. But we need to find a way to support each other without stifling our individual dreams. I won't ask you to give up football, and I can't give up my career either."

He nodded, a silent agreement settling between you. "I know, and I'm willing to work on it. I want us to figure this out together."

A sense of relief washed over you. "Me too. But it means we need to be open and honest with each other, even if it's uncomfortable."

Kylian reached for your hand, a small smile playing on his lips. "Deal. I don't want to lose you, Y/n. You're too important to me."

You squeezed his hand, a shared understanding passing between you. "I don't want to lose us either, Kylian. Let's take it one step at a time."

As you sat there, hands intertwined, a renewed sense of hope filled the room. The journey ahead remained uncertain, but the commitment to understanding and supporting each other became the foundation on which you both hoped to rebuild. The scars of the past would take time to heal, but the willingness to grow together offered a glimmer of possibility for the future.

Possibility for the future that didn't work out in the end....

-----

Tag list: @nightlockcornucopia, @she-lives-in-her-dreams, @sorceresski @m4k444 @mrs-dasilvasantoss @starofavolonea @mrswhitethornbelikov @kyksgirl

#kylian x reader #kylian imagines #mbappe psg #mbappe imagine #light angst #pov #ethan mbappe #football imagine #kylian mbappe x reader #more then love #kylian mbappe

[polyamships]

This is the first of six posts to help expand on the prompts for anyone who needs a little more to go on than just one word. We hope these ideas help inspire people, but they are only a jumping-off point and there will of course be plenty more interpretations we didn't think of!

--- March 1st: Kiss - Potentially a cute one, or a spicy one, to start with. This prompt has the potential to be sweet and romantic, and to talk about how the members of the polycule express affection between them, both individually or as a group. How do they like to kiss, or do they have other ways to express their emotions? Or possibly go with some of the other idioms and sayings involving kissing. Just as a few examples: Sun-kissed, kiss of life, kiss of death, the acronym KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid), kiss and tell, etc.... For artists there are lots of classical art pieces featuring kissing, and lots of art prompts/ideas involving kissing, to find inspiration from.

March 2nd: Hope - This can be an uplifting prompt of someone hoping for a better life, hoping for love with their chosen partners, or hoping for the end of a horrible situation. Or it can be a sad case - someone who has lost hope in the face of some hardship and who maybe needs a little bit of help to get through. It can be hope for oneself or it can be hope for something beyond them - for their family, for their country, or something even greater. How do they work for what they hope for, and what do they do when others - maybe even their partners - need or hope for something that opposes them?

March 3rd: Negotiations - At their core, negotiations are people discussing a disagreement and attempting to come to a conclusion. They can be minor, like who gets the top bunk, or major, like a negotiation ending a war. They can be very personal, like lovers negotiating a schedule when there are too many differing calendars to make it easy to spend time together, or they can be more impersonal, like trying to convince a merchant to lower his prices or a company representative to give them a loyalty discount. In the end, it can often boil down to this - who gets their way, and who doesn't, and how does everyone react to that? Do the different polycule members react in different ways to the results of the negotiation?

March 4th: Misunderstandings - Misunderstandings happen every day between people, both large and small. Sometimes the misunderstandings are easy to resolve, if the people involved can talk to each other; unfortunately, even in these cases, this is often easier said than done, and within a polycule with members who have trouble communicating, these misunderstandings can go from small to large in a hurry. The prompt can be for members of the polycule to figure out how to handle them... or if they can be handled without help. Or maybe they're being pulled into someone else's misunderstanding, on a small or large scale, and have to decide if they want to get involved or not.

March 5th: Online - Taken literally, in fandoms with the internet (or AUs with the internet in fandoms that don't) it can be about characters on social media, experiences with online dating, or epistolary fiction using e-mails/Discord messages/IMs/whatever. Maybe your polycule has a website that the group of them updates, or they help run some sort of website or app that puts them into contact with all sorts of characters and situations. It can also mean bringing something into operation in general, so it could be a project or new system that the polycule is working on, or coming into conflict with in some way.

#Multiamory March #MultiamoryMarch #MultiamoryMarch2024 #Multiamory March 2024 #polyamshipping #OT3 #OT4 #polyshipping #poly shipping #poly ships #polyamships #polyam ships #polyam shipping #polyamorous shipping #polyamorous ships #polyamory #polyamships prompts #modposts #prompts #Multiamory March prompts

[saintjosie]

I agree the joke was tasteless, no intention of defending it, but assuming bad-faith is a very good way to make using the internet a miserable experience. I'm not saying you have to take the time to educate people who are wrong and saying horrendously stupid or out of touch shit. I'm just saying life got easier for me when I approached situations like that with the perspective of "what's the least hostile reason they could be saying this" bc 9/10 times unless someone is spewing actual hate speech or making threats their either just uniformed or phrased things poorly leading to misunderstanding.

Anyway I hope people stop bothering you about this.

im getting a lot of these in my inbox and this one is one of the nicer ones so im just gonna respond about demilypyro this once

look i get it. i really do. ive been doing tiktok for years and that first year was absolutely miserable because i didnt know how to do that. now, 95% of the time, i just block and move on cause it genuinely isnt worth my time to care about it.

and what ive found is that directly addressing hate speech pretty much goes nowhere and is just bound to end up in frustration for me and fuel for the fire elsewhere.

but i promise that im not just reading with bad-faith intentions. this isn't the first time that something that demilypyro has said that has rubbed me the wrong way. and tbh, i had no idea who she was until i got on tumblr and i saw a lot of people circulating the occasionally very funny things she has to say. i do my best to give people the benefit of the doubt (especially on text based social media) but after following her for a second and seeing a lot of "shitposts" that were questionable at best and several that were just downright distasteful, i decided that i didnt care for her and unfollowed and moved on and since shes fairly popular on here, i also started unfollowing people who would rb her too.

recently i had to unfollow someone who said something incredibly icky involving minority consent and so i went through and followed some people who had followed me and who i thought posted funny things bc thats mostly what im here for. and one of those people just so happened to rb something she said that just triggered me so hard with the sheer stupidity and harmfulness of it.

i have a very very sore spot for religious trauma (something ive always been super open about) and i have little to no tolerance for when people say dumb privileged things AND i have little to no tolerance for specifically when white (or in this case white passing) trans femmes specifically say privileged things. and this just hit all of those spots. it was quite cathartic for me to say what i said and i have no doubt that there's gonna be a lotta people who disagree and unfollow. there's some people who will get it, a lot of people who won't, and maybe even some people who might change their minds and this is important enough to me that it's worth it.