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#maybe is because she's gay but that's other story
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but the fighter still remains
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pairing: leon kennedy x chris redfield
cw: homophobia, dubious (at best) consent during past experiences, childhood trauma, referenced spousal abuse, use of homophobic slurs by unnamed characters, smut and angst, anal sex
summary: Leon struggles with his sexuality until he sees Chris after the events of Vendetta, and has his first consensual sexual experience.
a/n: This story does include homophobia by unnamed characters and internalized homophobia. It's meant to be an accurate depiction of the overt homophobia of the 90s and 00s. While Leon being gay/bisexual is a headcanon of mine, this story was never solely about Leon for me. Leon's sexuality crisis and realization of both his own queerness and the dubious (at best) consent of his past experiences is based on my own journey of accepting my own identity as a lesbian. That is to say that some elements in this fic might be uncomfortable to read, but it is not my intention to endorse or make light of the homophobia and other struggles that come with the queer experience.
also, the title is a reference to a lyric from the song "the boxer" by simon and garfunkel (you should listen to it if you haven't)
wc: 6.3k
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i. Raccoon City was the second worst beating Leon’s ever taken. The first was from his father. Leon felt guilty for secretly being happy about his father’s death. He’d never tell his grandmother that, but he’d also never tell her about when his father punched him so hard he couldn’t see out of one eye for a week. 
Leon’s not gay and that’s because he isn’t allowed to be. 
It was against his parents’ rules and their religion too. He doesn’t remember when he stopped believing in God, but that may have been the last straw for him. If my father is a good, god-fearing man, who’s on the right track to heaven, then who am I? Can I pray to the same god my father does after he hits me?  
Leon met a nice girl at church camp one summer in his early high school years. His parents liked her. They insisted that she come over for dinner to meet them. The first time they held hands was at the table when they prayed - Thank you God for this food, this family, and Leon’s new friend . The way his father chuckled after the collective “Amen” was foreign. He was happy his son found a girl, a hand to hold, a vacant ring finger. His father was more pleasant with the rest of the family than he had been in a while. 
Leon’s father didn’t hit his mother often, but in retrospect, the bruises on her arm weren’t from the car door like she told him they were. Leon’s father was lucky Leon didn’t see any marks on his mother by the time he was in high school. Maybe he knew Leon had been lifting. Maybe he knew why. Leon would’ve stood up for his mother in the way that he didn’t for himself. He would’ve come in armed - with a bat, maybe a kitchen knife - if it were his mother. His father had a gun and he wouldn’t have hesitated to shoot the son he never wanted. 
Leon’s dad thought he wanted a son until he met Leon. It took him years to accept the fact that such a pansy of a boy could be his offspring. Leon wished he’d never heard his father’s talk with his mother that night. It wasn’t that his father degraded him or was humiliated to have him as a son - what hurt Leon most was the fact that his father was convinced his mother must’ve cheated on him “‘cause that sissy isn’t my son”. The sound of a belt buckle sent Leon across the hall to his room where he could cry his mother’s muffled tears into his own pillow. 
Church girl was appropriately named “Faith”. The only “Faith” Leon ever had gave him a handjob in the pews. They sat in the chapel after bible study and she kissed him, joking that they should practice at the altar. The sounds of their lips smacking echoed off the tall ceilings. Leon felt a brief sense of relief when his zipper got stuck, protesting Faith’s deft fingers, thought to be already tainted by the french tips her mother hated. Her pale skin was painted by the light that passed through the stained glass windows, jewel tones that formed the image of the Virgin Mary. Aside from her hand stroking his length, Leon felt nothing at all.
When they got caught kissing in the basement, Leon got a stern talking to and Faith got sent home. It was when he got caught with a boy who lived down the street that he got the black eye, and the boy was also sent home. Leon begged his father not to call the other boy’s parents, and that was the one ounce of mercy his father gave him that night. 
The next day at school, the boy came up to him at lunch. “Your dad-” he said softly, gesturing to Leon’s eye. 
“No, I hit my head on the car door this morning. I was exhausted and out of it I guess.” Leon couldn’t look him in the eyes while he lied through his teeth. 
“I know that’s not the truth, but I won’t tell if you won’t say anything about what happened between us. I liked it, I like you, but-”
“Just don’t, please, just don’t,” Leon said, putting his hand out to stop him from talking. Anything that could come out of his mouth would only hurt Leon more.  
They couldn’t see each other again, so it wasn’t worth agonizing over it, was it? He caught Faith cheating on him with another guy and he pretended to be upset. He wished there was a non-offensive way to say “it’s actually better this way. I’m not mad at you at all.”, but there isn’t. 
When Leon mentioned off-handedly at dinner that he wanted to become a cop, the look his father gave him was the closest one to pride he’d ever seen. 
“I think that’s a great idea, son,” he said. The only other time his father called him son was when his application to the police academy was officially accepted. 
Leon knew that if his father had figured out why he was so interested in law enforcement, he wouldn’t have been so keen on the idea. “I want to fight crime. I want to make sure criminals get locked up, and I want to keep civilians safe,” he told a superior officer, who seemed to find his enthusiasm cute. 
I want to make sure criminals like my father get locked up, is what Leon meant. I want to learn how to shoot a gun and be able to bring it home just in case he goes too far and I need to defend my mother. 
ii. When Leon entered the police academy, he remained certain of his heterosexuality. Sure, he sucked dick at least a dozen times, but he wasn’t actually gay. He pretended not to like it, and sometimes he actually didn’t like it because a bunch of single guys stuck in dormitories aren’t great at washing their dicks properly. 
Plus, it was nothing more than blowjobs. One, he’d never been fucked before, and two, he hadn’t kissed anyone since that guy in high school. Well, he hadn’t kissed any guys since then. He’d made out with a few girls, mostly motivated by peer pressure. It was a path to popularity because popularity required normalcy. Or the illusion of it. He’d never been the one to come onto a girl, but he rarely backed down either. It was like a challenge, like the exercises they did in the academy. These hookups were exercises in composure and mental fortitude. Distress tolerance. 
During his time in the academy, Leon found out that it’s actually cool to not have a girlfriend. Leon’s “ a player ” and he’s “ not ready to settle down ”. The other guys were jealous that he fucked around. He didn’t fuck around that much, and when he did, he tried to be polite about it. He might not have been particularly aroused by the activity, but he was indifferent to it after a few beers. Once he got into liquor, it was just “whiskey dick” when he couldn't get it up. It’s not you, it’s me. It is him, he comes to find years later when he finally accepts it. 
When he was younger, Leon was easy. Reverse glory hole of sorts. He let any interested woman ride his dick. Physical interaction was nice, and if he closed his eyes, it wasn’t hard for him to get off. He lasted longer than most guys, which just gave women another incentive to fuck him, and men another reason to envy him. Oddly enough, being gay was one of the things that other men - unknowingly - envied him for. But, he’s not gay. Bicurious at best. If he were gay, he would never cum from a woman riding his dick. Having the girl on top was his favorite position. Drunk sex is easier when your job is to just lie there. 
Leon was a firm believer in ass over tits because tits lie too close to the face, and being face to face with a girl means letting her kiss you. Kissing was too romantic, Leon decided, and that’s why he disliked it. Lipstick tasted gross and it was hard to get it off his face. “It’s cute,” a girl once said, “It’ll be like a reminder of me”. And it was a reminder in the same way that a scar is. The lipstick remark came after Leon asked her not to leave a hickey on his neck. “We’re not in high school,” he said. It’s juvenile, we’ll look stupid, we should act like adults. A hickey is just a bruise like any other. Why do you have to hurt me for me to remember? Why do you have to leave marks? If you like me, why do you hurt me? Why does being together hurt? Can you like someone so much it pains you? I think it’s just butterflies in my stomach. I like you so much that I’m nervous. I’m not scared. I’m a man. It’s heartache, so it hurts. I’m lovesick, so it hurts. 
iii. Life was different post-Raccoon City. Training under Krauser was a paradoxical Hell. You had to get fucked in the ass literally - not necessarily by him - if you didn’t want to get fucked in the ass metaphorically. On the other hand, you were worse off liking it. You cannot be a fag in USSTRATCOM. 
So, he liked Major Krauser in a way that one is supposed to like their mentor – he looked up to Krauser. It was nothing more than that until they were both a few drinks deep. Like everything with Jack, it all went down like punishment. Krauser liked when Leon put up a fight – he liked when Leon used the skills he taught him for the never-ending “mission” against him. 
But, Major Krauser got too used to bloodshed and it started to look as sexy as anything else which is why everything went down the way that it did in Spain. Leon won the fight for the first time by willpower and luck. It was the fact that his mother was blonde like Ashley and there was finally a woman in front of him that he could save. After all the years he wasted fighting an endless war against Umbrella and whoever their successors were, he’d finally get some sort of justice for himself. When Ashley arrived home safe it was one of the only times he felt like he’d “won” anything - not the princess, but the pride of being the knight. The slight self-esteem boost was enough to keep him alive.
At this point, Leon considered the possibility that he might like guys, but he’d never fallen in love with a guy. It was nothing more than lust, possibly the pull towards romance, but he never let himself go there. Gay men fall in love with other men. Leon’s not gay.
If he were gay, he wouldn’t cry during sex. (It only took him a few weeks in the barracks to learn to save his tears for later. Crying in private would save him his last shred of dignity or self-worth. Everything else had been taken, nothing remained untainted). Leon considered the possibility of prepping beforehand to avoid the physical pain, but then they’d make assumptions, so he took it like a good little soldier. Bit the bullet while he got ‘raped’, as his therapist would later claim. Leon never trusted her, though, because she tried to tell him that women were taking advantage of him, but he assured her that he’d never said ‘no’. 
She was obstinate, too. “Have you always known you were gay?”
“I’m not gay.” Fucking invasive, repetitive questions. He would never have seen a therapist if the DSO wasn’t up his ass about it. 
He could give her a list of women he'd had feelings for - Ada, Ashley, maybe Claire, Shemei for a minute, but mostly she just reminded him of Ada (not because she was Chinese - Leon’s not sure that Ada is Chinese, or even named Ada for that matter - but because he could sense the betrayal before it happened and for some reason, it made the whole dalliance sexier). 
He realized later that the feelings he had for Ashley and Claire were mostly a strong platonic affection. Ada remained a mystery, as always. 
iv. In retrospect, the first guy he felt anything real for was Chris Redfield. Not STARS Alpha Team point man Chris Redfield, whom he would’ve met if Raccoon City hadn’t been blown to smithereens, effectively terminating his position as a cop on his first and only day. Leon caught feelings for Claire Redfield’s older brother, Chris Redfield. 
Leon and Claire shared a unique trauma bond, and he wondered at first if she asked him to hang out with her because he was the only one who she could relate to anymore, or if she actually enjoyed his company in any way. It took him years to accept that it was the latter. Leon didn’t have many friends, not many he really felt connected to, so he was surprised to have a certified cool girl want him as part of her posse. Claire already had a support system in the form of her brother, Chris, who had gone through hell more than once. 
When Leon met Chris on a night out with Claire, the first thing he noticed was the way Chris looked - hot. Leon assumed it was envy, when all along it was lust. “I want to be him” turned out to be a facade for “I want to be with him”, but it took well over a decade for Leon to come to that conclusion. 
“Claire told me you’re in STARS?”
“Yeah, I mean, I was.” Chris laughed, but grief hid behind his smile. “STARS doesn’t really exist anymore, since Raccoon City doesn’t really exist anymore.”
“Oh, yeah, slipped my mind for a sec,” Leon joked. He wished he could forget.
“It’s not all bad. That fucker Irons is dead.” Leon recognized that look. It was the one he had on his own face when his father died. 
“I had no idea he wasn’t a good guy until Sherry…” Leon couldn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t know the details of what did or didn’t happen. Leon never dared to ask. 
“The kid?” Chris confirmed.
“Yeah, I’m sure Claire mentioned her.”
“She didn’t mention Irons. Kinda sad he’s not dead. I wish I could kill him myself.”
“I’m glad I didn’t have the chance to meet him.”
“Anyway,” Chris said, “Let’s not damper the mood with all this morbid shit.”
“Amen to that.”
They shot the shit for a while and Chris taught Leon how to play darts - or how to play right since Leon couldn’t aim for shit until Chris helped him get his arm in the proper position. 
“How’d you learn that?” Leon asked. 
“We had a dartboard in the STARS office. We had more downtime than you’d think, you know, especially with your first day at the RPD being the most chaotic in history.”
Leon didn’t realize that to an onlooker it might’ve seemed like they were flirting because it felt so natural to him. When Chris went to have a cigarette outside, they were mid-conversation so Leon followed him. Leon was never a smoker, and quite frankly, hated the smell of cigarettes, but liked Chris' company enough to put those feelings aside.
A group of a few drunk guys started hollering at them, throwing around various slurs and making lewd gestures. Chris ignored them until they walked closer, clearly trying to start a fight. 
Chris gave the leader of the pack a look that said "what do you want?" and that was the last thing Leon remembered before Chris had one of the guys pinned to the wall while another tended to a likely-broken nose and the third was nowhere to be found. 
“Are we done here?” Chris asked. There was no response and he let go of the guy’s collar. He looked to Leon who was standing by in shock and nodded towards the door. Leon walked back into the bar and tried to wipe the look of bewilderment off his face. 
“What? Never seen a fight before?” Chris asked, in a more joking manner than one would expect from someone with bloody knuckles. 
“I have, but that was impressive. Does that kind of thing happen often?”
“More than I’d like it to. I don’t tend to start fights, but I don’t hesitate to finish them either.”
Before Leon could say something stupid, Claire stumbled over to Chris, practically falling into his arms. 
“Claire?! What the fuck? I told you one drink.”
“I only bought one,” she slurred. “Some guys bought me more.”
“Where are those guys?” Chris asked with a face that said he was ready for another round in the ring. 
“Oh c’mon, Chris,” Claire said, “You don’t have to be so ‘protective’. I’m not a little kid anymore.”
He sighed and took her by the hand, leading her towards the door. 
“Where are we going?”
“Home,” Chris said. 
“Want me to help?” Leon offered. 
“Be my guest.”
Claire ended up with one arm over each of their shoulders, and slumped over Leon’s lap in the backseat. Chris drove because it was his car and he was the most sober. 
Chris put a cassette in the tape player before he started the car. Leon could identify Freddie Mercury’s voice but he didn’t know the name of the album. He didn’t ask lest he embarrass himself. Freddie Mercury is gay and that’s why his parents don’t listen to Queen in the car anymore, he thought to himself. 
They got Claire situated in bed with a glass of water and two ibuprofen on her nightstand. Chris decided to sleep on her couch, and Leon went home for the night. 
“Need a ride home?” Chris asked. 
“Nah, I’ll call a cab. Wouldn’t want Claire to get into any trouble if you left her alone.”
“Fair enough.” Chris’ smile was warm under the porch light and Leon assumed it was no different from Chris’ regular smile. It was no different from the way he ever smiled at Leon . 
Leon felt his heart rate rapidly increasing when Chris gave him a hug goodbye. It was a friendly hug, but not the type that’s half-hearted, accompanied by a pat on the back that’s equivalent to saying "no homo".
v. The first time they kissed it was barely even real. It was a game and it was for the amusement of others. That’s what spin the bottle and truth or dare are - games, nothing more. Never back down from a dare. Leon was invited by Claire to another get-together, which was attended by a handful of people who would become long-time friends of Leon’s - including, and most notably, Chris. 
They sat in Claire’s living room, all a little buzzed when the master-of-ceremonies, Claire Refield, suggested a game of truth or dare, which most of the group was less than enthused about since it’s a game for teenagers. Barry set a rule that he wouldn’t take on any dares that would make him cheat on his wife and the group agreed unanimously with a collective “aww” at the rare good man. 
“I wish I could have a loyal man like you, Barry,” Claire remarked. “You will. Don’t settle for less.” Leon didn’t learn until years later how Barry was there for the Redfields after their parents’ passing. 
Claire was the one who dared Leon and Chris to kiss. It shouldn’t have been unexpected after she dared Jill and Carlos to kiss about three turns prior. Leon didn’t notice the tension in the room when he leaned in. It’s nothing, but it feels like something. The feeling of Chris’ lips against his that night was something that stuck with him for well-over a decade. His freshly-shaven face, his breath like beer and cigarettes since there was no time to disguise the taste with a breath mint. The tips of their tongues brushed ever-so-slightly and Leon only pulled away because he was worried he’d embarrass himself if he didn't. 
Leon tried not to think of Chris when he jerked off later that night. It was a futile effort. He successfully covered his mouth before he moaned Chris’ name when he came. He lived alone, but he didn't want to hear it come out of his own mouth. 
Straight women get off to lesbian porn all the time, so when Leon gets off to gay porn, it seems normal to him. Straight women don’t talk about watching lesbian porn, just like how Leon doesn’t talk about watching gay porn. 
It was the next century when Chris made a move on Leon. “Would you ever wanna go out sometime?”
Shockingly, Leon didn’t take the hint. Chris waited, teeth on the lip of the beer bottle, slowly regretting his words. 
“Go out where?”
“I mean, anywhere you want…” Chris is rarely nervous. However, he also rarely asks anyone out. He almost never gets asked out, either - at least, not by men. 
Leon cocked his head to the side like a fucking idiot. “Like, hanging out… or-?”
“Or…”
“Oh . You’re asking me on a date.”
“I was trying to.”
“I would, but I’m not gay.”
And that was the truth in his mind. 
“Oh. Forget I said that then. I assumed you were ‘cause I’ve seen you brush women off who are flirting with you. Now, I know you’re just oblivious.” Chris said the last bit with a laugh, hoping the friendly jab at Leon will lighten the mood, but internally he was beating himself up.
They parted ways and it was awkward. Chris confided in Claire, who went on to tell him an hour-and-a-half’s worth of awful dating stories. She’d had her share of times where she embarrassed herself in front of guys. 
Leon struggled to get off, sleep was nowhere in sight, and for the first time in years, he decided to pray. God didn’t respond. It was the last time Leon even tried.
vi. It was years later when they saw each other again in China. They fought over a woman, well, kinda, but it was still ironic enough that it made Leon laugh in hindsight. It was not the way Leon had imagined Chris’ hands all over him. They didn’t do that in China. 
Leon was too focused on 70,000 civilian deaths and the fact that he shot the president. It was not a John Hinkley Jr/Ronald Reagan situation. Leon knew the man as “Adam” not President Benford. It was personal. It wasn’t the first time Leon had to shoot someone he knew and it wouldn’t be the last. He was found “not guilty”, but he felt very guilty. About everything. 
Leon was way too focused on the fact that Ada may or may not have died - information he got from Chris Redfield himself, a fairly reliable source. We both want the same thing. Leon meant that in the realm of bioterrorism. They both wanted the other’s touch in a way that was hot, sweaty, rough enough to leave marks, but entirely differently from the way they ended up in the aforementioned tussle.
vii. They didn’t see each other in person again until ‘14, Colorado. Leon was the worst he’d been in awhile. The man he’d been lusting after for over a decade in secret walks into a bar mid-morning to find him deep in the bottle. Of course this shit would happen to Leon. They yell first, makeup later. After all the killing is done and the blood is off their hands. 
It’s easier to be angry than anything else. You don’t have to bare your soul to yell. Vulnerable, from the Latin vulnus - wound. Somehow new bruises are easier. Leon didn’t notice the ones on his knuckles until the next day. His headache was worse. The purple marks make him feel guilty, but they'll fade. They always do. 
Chris caught Leon with a flask in his hand the moment the op was “over” - nothing is ever really over in Leon’s life. Even the dead come back to life - undead on Earth, ghosts in his dreams, whatever the fuck Ada is and has always been to him. 
“Hey,” Chris said. It was neutral but Leon could hear pity in his voice. He fucking hated it. He didn’t want to be someone who deserves pity. Someone pitiful. 
“I almost pity you,” his father said. Leon was pitiful, but his father was cruel. 
“What d’ya want?” Leon said, not turning towards Chris, though he could feel his gaze boring through his frail figure. How funny it was that Leon was deteriorating. He should’ve been in one of those body bags. 
“I don’t want anything.”
“Then why are you talking to me?”
“I’m worried about you.”
Leon scoffed. “Don’t be.”
Chris stood over him and reached for the flask, but when Leon dodged his grasp, he didn’t force his hand. “You know it’ll hurt in the morning,” he said. 
“Think I can handle a little headache.”
“You think I don’t understand, but I do.”
“What?” Leon met Chris’ eyes. “You wanna have a sweet bonding moment? This isn’t an afterschool special. You can save your breath.”
“Why can’t you accept that people care about you?” Chris was indignant. 
There wasn’t much to say to that. I don’t care about me, he wanted to say. Leon sighed. Chris looked at the spot next to Leon, then at his face. “Can I sit?”
Leon nodded reluctantly. He set the flask down next to him, and put his head in his hands. Chris didn’t say anything. Instead, he placed his hand on Leon’s back. It wasn’t a pat on the back - empty, friendly, platitudinous. He didn’t rub in soft circles like Leon’s mother did when he was little - nurturing, familial, pitying. It was just his hand, placed firmly, not letting up, not pressing down - grounding, steadfast, sincere. 
Leon sniffled, wiped a tear from his eye with the back of his hand, and tried to half-laugh it off. 
“Just let it out.” I won’t say anything. 
The tears fell. Commanding officer even in friendship - or whatever this was. Leon leaned onto Chris’ shoulder, meeting him halfway. Chris pulled him into a hug. 
“This is pathetic,” Leon said into Chris’ shirt. 
“Only because you’re so resistant to it.”
“You’re gonna blame me for my own patheticness?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“I thought you were supposed to be cheering me up.”
“I never said that.”
“Then why are you holding me like I’m a fucking child?”
“Because you’re acting like one.”
Somehow crying turned to laughing. 
“I really am,” Leon said, lifting his head. “I even got snot on your shirt.”
“Not the worst thing that’s gotten on my clothes in the last 24 hours.”
“Glad I’m not as gross as a BOW.”
“Far from it.”
“Thanks.”
“I didn’t say how far.”
“What? Are you calling me ugly?”
“You’ve looked better.”
“So have you!”
“I know I have. I’m 40 fucking years old. But you look-”
“Pathetic?”
“Yeah, and somehow you still manage to make it work for you.”
“How’s it ‘working for me’? Am I wooing you right now? Do you enjoy watching a grown man cry?”
“You don’t have to ‘woo’ me. You did that a long time ago.”
It took Leon’s drunken brain a minute to wrap his head around the words. 
“When?”
“‘98.”
“That was…” Leon did the mental math. “Sixteen fucking years ago. And you never told me?”
“I asked you on a date, Leon. I thought it was clear.”
“Maybe I’m just an idiot.” A date doesn’t mean anything, he thought, I’ve been on plenty of dates just for the hell of it. 
“I think you might be.”
“Fuck. I’m ugly and stupid.”
“Just stupid. You’ve never been ugly. That’s how you get away with it.”
“Hey, fuck you!”
“I’d prefer to fuck you, but…”
Leon shook his head, snickering - mostly at himself. He took them both by surprise when he kissed Chris, hard on the mouth. It only took a few swigs from the flask to get him here. He was nearly sober, too sober in his mind. Chris’ hands were all over him and Leon’s dick wanted this, but something in his brain stopped him. 
“Wait,” he said, catching his breath. Nerves had taken over. “Maybe we should have a drink first, you know… to-to loosen up… metaphorically…”
Chris stared at Leon, trying to read his mind. “We don’t have to do anything. I’m not going to do anything if you don’t want to.”
“No, no, it’s not that I don’t want to- believe me, I want to,” he said, “but, uh, this isn’t really the kind of thing you do sober, right? Not like, entirely…?” It only sounded weird when he heard the words come out of his mouth. 
A moment of silence passed as Chris processed Leon’s unintentional admission. “You… don’t do these things sober?”
“No…?”
“Never? You’ve never done anything more than kissing sober?”
“I guess, yeah, but it was a long time ago… in high school, I had a girlfriend and,” he laughed, somewhat ironically, “she gave me a handjob in the pews of the church we both went to.”
“That’s it? Nothing since high school?”
“Well, there was some stuff at bootcamp, back in STRATCOM, and at the police academy, too…” he winced before he said, “it wasn’t exactly my choice. I would’ve preferred to not be that sober.”
Chris’s mouth moved, but he didn't speak at first. “I’m sorry that stuff happened to you,” he said, choosing his words carefully. 
“Why?” Leon said with such genuine confusion that it pained Chris.
“I mean, it doesn’t sound like you’ve had any good experiences… maybe not any completely… consensual experiences…” The last part sounded like a question, though he was pretty confident that his assumptions were true. 
“Are you gonna try to get me to “process my trauma” or are you gonna fuck me?” Leon said to avoid the awkwardness. Nothing like trauma to ruin a perfectly good moment. 
Leon captured Chris’ lips in a kiss, but Chris pulled back. “I have to know that you actually want this.”
“I’m the one who started it, aren’t I?”
“That’s not an answer.”
“Yes, I want this.”
Leon was ready to tear Chris’ clothes off, but again,  Chris stopped him. “We’ll go slowly,” he said, prompting Leon to sigh. “Or,” Chris continued, “I won’t fuck you at all.”
“You’d never turn down the chance.”
“Oh? Mr. Pity Party’s feeling so confident all of a sudden? Try me.”
Chris crossed his arms and stared at Leon, who eventually gave in. “Fine. Do you have more terms and conditions? Or can we get on with it?”
“Why are you so insistent on “getting on with it”? Why do you feel the need to rush things? Why not let yourself experience some enjoyment for once?”
“I enjoy it fast and rough-”
“No, that’s just the only way you’ve ever had it.”
The truth cuts like a knife. Leon didn’t know he was being defensive. Chris was right. He’d never had it slow or sober. He closed his eyes and nodded, trying desperately to accept the revelation he’d just been forced to have. 
Chris grabbed Leon by the back of his neck, seemingly pulling him in for another kiss, but he whispered in Leon’s ear, “I wanna make you feel good.”
The words sent a shiver down Leon’s spine. Chris’ voice was low in pitch and in volume, and Leon knew every word was for his ears only. It’s no longer reassurance, it’s flirtation, bordering on dirty talk. 
Then, Chris went in for the kiss with more confidence, dedication turned devotion. Chris was gentle when he pushed Leon onto the bed, so much so that Leon tried to find a joke somewhere in his foggy brain to avoid the fact that he felt like a virgin in the face of such tenderness.
“Any chance you have any lube?” 
“No, but I bet you five bucks that concierge does.”
Chris scoffed in disbelief. “Deal.”
Approximately five minutes later Leon returned with a bottle in his hand. 
“No fucking way.”
“Pay up, Redfield,” Leon said, holding out his palm. 
“Really? I don’t even think I have cash.”
“There’s an ATM downstairs.”
“How about I offer you something else, maybe another form of payment will suffice…?”
“Just this once. I’ll let you get away with it… because you look hot even when you’re all covered in blood.”
Chris’ lips curved upward into a smile so genuine that it was foreign to him. Leon realized that maybe he didn’t get complimented very often, and surely not enough. Leon didn’t have time to compliment Chris to the extent that he deserved - that would take a lifetime. 
Chris pulled Leon by the hand so that Leon was straddling his lap. Leon leaned down to kiss Chris with less force in the absence of haste. This time he melted into Chris’ lips. 
It wasn’t Leon’s first time being penetrated, but it was the first time someone cared enough to prepare him before shoving their cock inside him. Chris’ fingers, slick with lube, made him tense due to their gentleness. It was a novel thing to Leon. 
“You’re tensing up,” Chris said. 
“I’m not trying to,” Leon said, lashing out at Chris, though he was upset at his own inability to relax. 
“Just relax.”
“It’s easier said than done.”
Chris pulled Leon into a kiss and it seemed to help him, taking his mind off the fact that Chris’ fingers were inside him, slowly stretching him out. Leon’s breath quickened and he grunted into Chris’ mouth. 
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” Leon’s voice was shaky. “It actually feels… good.”
“Yeah? Like this?” Chris curled his fingers to meet the same spot, making Leon moan louder than this time.
“Yeah, right there. It feels really fuckin’ good.” Leon didn’t need to say it for Chris to know - the way his dick twitched told him enough. 
“Think you’re ready?”
“Hope so. I want it.”
Chris removed his pants and upon seeing what he’d been hiding under them, Leon changed his mind. “Maybe I’m not as ready as I thought.” He was wide-eyed and hungry for it, but more nervous given Chris’ size. 
“I’ll go slow,” he promised. “And we can stop whenever you want.”
For many years, Leon struggled to pinpoint his exact feelings for Chris. Was it lust? Affection? Connection due to their similar circumstances? The one thing he'd known from the start was that he trusted Chris. 
Leon gulped down his anticipatory nerves and nodded, giving Chris the go ahead. Before entering Leon, he was diligent enough to lube himself up, giving Leon a nice view.
Leon hissed at the initial stretch. “I knew you’d be big, but not this big.”
“Sorry, nothing I can do about it.” Chris laughed a little, forced to take it as a compliment. 
“It’s fine,” Leon said, though his words were beginning to slur. “It’s hot. Just gonna take a minute to get used to it.”
Leon learned that Chris likes to makeout during sex and he would’ve thought it was too romantic if Chris’ lips didn’t feel so good pressed against his. Eventually, they both were running short on breath, so they fucked forehead-to-forehead until they climaxed - Leon first, shortly followed by Chris. 
Chris collapsed next to Leon and Leon sunk further into the mattress. His eyes had fallen shut and his hands laid on his stomach, unsure of their place. Someone is supposed to leave now, he thought. That was the way it had gone every other time Leon had done this before.  
“You okay?” Chris’ voice called him back to reality. 
“Yeah,” he said. And, besides his confusion, he was. Very okay, which confused him more. It was the first time he'd felt truly at ease lying naked next to someone. He might be sore the next day, but only physically.  
“You look… awkward.”
“I’m not used to… this part.”
“Oh, yeah. It’s pretty easy. It’s similar to lying down alone. You just have another person there.”
“Thanks, asshole. I got that much.”
“Do you want me to leave you alone or…?”
“Are you asking me if I want to cuddle with you?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“If that’s what you want.”
“No, if that’s what you want.”
“I don’t care either way. I want whatever you want.”
Chris pulled Leon towards him in a way that would be startling if it were anyone else’s hands. 
“I knew you were too stubborn to say ‘yes’,” he whispered, answering the unasked question. 
“How are we supposed to do this?”
“I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way.”
Leon sighed, and Chris took it as a plea for directions. 
“I can hold you from behind like this,” Chris offered, manhandling Leon. “Or, you can lie on top of me.”
Leon rolled over and put his head on Chris’ chest. 
“C’mon,” Chris said, “You can’t crush me.”
Leon pretended to be reluctant when he wrapped his leg over Chris so that he was sprawled halfway across his chest. He admitted, accidentally, the next morning that it was the best sleep of his life. Leon locked eyes with Chris and noticed the way the corners of his eyes wrinkle when he smiles, how the demarcations have made their place more permanent over time, the subtle reminders of happiness becoming more prominent with age. 
It was about an hour later when Leon looked at himself in the bathroom mirror and noticed his own smile. His expression was so unusual it almost made him suspicious. He was under the impression that the previous night’s experience would’ve brought about some change within him. It was only then, that he realized he’s exactly the same as he’s always been. The only new thing was the certainty he felt when he stared at his own reflection. Denial was just a phase. 
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alchemiclee · 6 months
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I hope someone writes a good fic about the high cloud quintet with all the messy pieces of lore we have because i'm very unsatisfied with what we got and I want MORE OF THEM. don't know why i'm so obsessed with this tragic group of friends but 😭 IM SO FEELINGS ABOUT THEM but also empty because they didn't satisfy me with what they gave us lmao I require more. but that was the end and i'll never get more....unless someone writes a great fic about them.....!
#hsr#words#one of the things that bothered me most was not seeing dan heng react to learning about blade/yingxing? hrm#everything in star rail seems super disconnected and rushed and i wish they could do the stories better#so i need someone to write a thing and fill in the gaps and add more and satisfy my need for a good story about these tragic losers#i want more baiheng because she seemed like the most adorable lovable thing 😭#i want more yingxing because i love him a lot for some reason i cant even figure out#i want jing yuan before he became a very sad and distant and lonely old man whose constant smile seems painfully fake.....#i want to see more of jing liu before she went crazy with mara#i want the gay and the lesbian hoyo cant give for legal reasons (xingyue/bailiu)#i want a story maybe starting with them meeting. becoming close and very good friends#maybe leading to their end dbdndnksksks it would hurt but im sure fandom writers can write it better than the game writers😅#im just rambling and reading makes me fall asleep and idk if anyone would ever write this but 😭#idk why my brain even clung onto them so much. theres other tragic friend stories this didnt happen with. why this one#i'd love a comic/manga about this group too but that even less likely than a fic. im sure other people like this group too#and maybe one is a fic writer. but an entire manga piece about them is unlikely 😅#its just easier for me to read when i can SEE it. thats just a preference tho#i feel like lore accurate fics arent as common tho? like taking all the lore you know and piecing it together into a whole story?#not that i read fics much so idk what im talking about but 99.9% if ones ive see are just ship fics only#what am i talking about i lost my train of thought lmao#anyway jingliu better come home. im at like 60 pity. where is she!!!!!!
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amplexadversary · 1 year
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More fanfiction I’m never going to get around to actually writing:
Someone comes to Pearl from Steven Universe for advice. They stumbled upon an unactivated pearl and in a brilliant moment of quick thinking asked her to call them “Mom/Dad.” This makes our Pearl incredibly uncomfortable for obvious reasons.
Mainly, I’m not sure how the protagonist would have enough background knowledge of gems to realize that that would probably be one of the least weird ways (for them) to deal with the whole gem programming dynamic thing until the nascent pearl could be brought up to speed with How to Deal With Being Around Humans.
Pearl is torn between the fact that the person clearly doesn’t want someone else taking advantage of the younger pearl (which she appreciates), the fact that they see her as an authority on how to handle the situation (which she likes), and the fact that she really, really Does Not Want to Make That Comparison (and probably resolves it, ultimately, by deciding that the fact that this person being human makes it different enough that she can just compartmentalize the issue away)
Maybe for bonus awkwardness have it be Mystery Girl who found the nascent pearl?
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undreaming-fanfiction · 2 months
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I am massively busy with work and finalizing my Big Bang, but this idea just won't leave...
Steve and Eddie are both actors. They're in their mid thirties, well established, but they never starred together in anything. Steve tends to be cast in the same type, the dumb but pretty love interest, Eddie has lots of indie and disturbing movies under his belt. But this time, they both landed something big.
They get cast in the new Batman movie.
Steve is, of course, Batman. He insists on doing his own stunts. He refuses to get dehydrated for his shirtless scenes because he knows how damaging it is to both young men and women alike, he's not going to contribute to shitty expectations. The director (Dustin, duh!) sees something in him other directors never have - a potential for depth, for internal turmoil. He gives Steve the chance to prove himself as an actor and Steve pounces on it.
He's still very hot.
Eddie is cast as the Joker. He is a fan of the comics and scoffs at how absurd and deranged the character is becoming. He gets hired because he immediately says he doesn't think the character needs to rely on cheap tricks and shock value to be terrifying. Cutting off his face? Not cool. He suggests to play the Joker according to one of the older comics he has - one where the Joker is actually absolutely sane, but hides it to never be held accountable for his actions. The only person who ever saw through his ruse was Dr. Harleen Quinzel. Joker took care of that issue very quickly.
The chemistry between Steve and Eddie on screen is insane. They go toe to toe, it's impossible to look away when they interact. Eddie utilizes his bright smile to the maximum, tweaking it just right within moments so it becomes unsettling. The first time he laughs, Steve gets goosebumps.
Steve encompasses Bruce's loneliness so well Eddie's heart breaks for him. Dustin finds him in the trailer, giving himself gentle slaps over the face and muttering "you're evil, damn it, you don't want to comfort the Bat!!".
Batgirl (Robin) and Harley Quinn (Chrissy) find their slow descent into love hilarious. They all become good friends on the set.
Hopper, an acting veteran who plays Commissioner Gordon, grasps Steve's shoulder after an intense fight scene and mutters: "Good job, Steve, but maybe don't stare at his lips so much?"
Robin doesn't give him the same courtesy and once Dustin yells "Cut!", she screeches: "NOW KISS!"
The movie is a hit. People love the cast and the story, some of the OG fans complain as they always do, but the ratings are great, there are many interviews, panels, all of that.
And of course, there's gossip about Steve and Eddie being a thing, which enrages the macho Batman fanbase. Their Batman isn't gay!
But the rumors quickly disappear after an award ceremony where Eddie is nominated for the best supporting actor. He wins, of course. And as he gets up to accept the small statue and deliver a speech with enough "fuck"s to give the censor a headache, he drags Steve up and kisses him in front of the whole world.
A week later, Steve and Eddie are together in front of a camera again, answering questions in an interview.
The host asks: "What do you say to those fans that are disappointed, who say that their Batman isn't gay?"
Steve just snorts, pulls Eddie closer and answers: "They're right. Their Batman isn't gay. But he's definitely bi."
Also the comic story I'm mentioning exits and is short but fantastic. 10/10 recommend.
Oh also. The first spark happens when Steve sees Eddie's hair and blurts out: "Please tell me they're not making you cut it shorter. It's too gorgeous for that."
Also because people were asking about the comics - it's Batman Black and White - Case Study and it can be found on Tumblr HERE
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candyskiez · 6 months
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so, you've heard shows be recommended because they had gay characters. you don't really know what they're actually about though, and don't know if they'd be something you'd be into and are worried about spoilers. here's spoiler free plot summaries of em!
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The Owl House
The Owl House starts out as a typical teenage girl goes into a fantasy realm story, but with a twist. Actions have consequences. The protagonist is a girl named Luz Noceda, who was being sent to a camp to make her behave normally by her mother after causing too much trouble at school. She ends up finding a place she's always dreamed of: a fantasy world. A world where everyone's so much weirder than she is. And she thinks, maybe if I don't belong out there, maybe people will like me here. Maybe I can be special here.
It's a story about found family, propaganda, erased history, living with disability, religious trauma, and neurodivergence. It's fundamentally a show about people who's brains work differently finding each other and making a family that treats them right. Definitely my favorite of the ones on this list. It's about people who've been oppressed being pissed about it and about finding yourself again after giving up on everyone around you for so long. It's basically a show about being a minority and trying to be understood and to understand yourself in the process. It's about growing up neurodivergent and how isolating it feels and figuring yourself out. It's about repairing broken relationships and parents who fuck up. And it's just. Such a love letter to anyone who was the weird kid in school. It's sad and heartbreaking and also so hopeful, and it's wonderful.
Content warnings: Abuse, Death, Grief, Animal Death, Suicidal thoughts, Vague suicide attempts, Depression, blink and you'll miss it s/h, body horror, religious trauma
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She Ra and the Princesses Of Power
Adora was raised in the Horde since she was a baby, being fed propaganda about how cruel the princesses were. After learning how the horde actually was, though, she defects. But there's one problem. Her best friend, Catra, stays behind. Adora finds a sword that can transform her into She Ra, and might be the key to figuring out who she really is, while Catra takes her place as force captain.
It's a story about abuse, at the end of the day. Adora and Catra were stuck in a golden child and scapegoat dynamic, despite how much they care about each other. This leads to them knowing everything about each other but not understanding it. There's a fundamental disconnect between them, because both of their traumas are completely different. They have complete misconceptions about each other. Even in their initial split, they both have completely different perceptions of what's going on and why the other is upset. It's not a story about magic princesses, it's about the cycle of abuse and what makes it so complicated. Does it have flaws? Yeah. But ultimately I really really enjoy it, and when it does something right it does something RIGHT. Get through season one, it starts kids show-y but it gets very good during later s1.
Content warnings: Abuse (obviously), body horror, gaslighting (and I mean actual gaslighting, not what the Internet thinks gaslighting is), suicide, depression, flashing lights and eyestrain during the finale
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Steven Universe
Steven Universe is a sins of the father story. Steven is the son of the leader of the rebel group The Crystal Gems, who's name was Rose Quartz. He navigates the confusion of being half gem and half human, as well as trying to figure out the mess of the rebellion and what his mother left behind. He's constantly in her shadow, for better or for worse.
It's a story about grief. How it impacts relationships, how it taints history, how it impacts family. It has some definite flaws, but ultimately it's about very flawed people who have lost so many people in their life trying to cope with it. Trying to handle what they lost and trying to adjust to life without them. It's about how expectations fuck a kid up and about agency and just a show about complicated relationships in general, at the end of the day. Also, it has some FANTASTIC music.
Content warnings: Grief, Abuse, body horror, very creepy people I don't know how to tag, heavy allegories for homophobia
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Nimona
Nimona is a story about a guy who gets framed for murder. His name is Ballister Boldheart, a commoner who hoped to become a knight. It seemed everyone was waiting to watch him fail, so it was no surprise when he was the immediate target. Heavily injured and away from the man he loves, he's left alone trying to figure out a way to prove his innocence- until a strange kid comes into his life. This kids name is Nimona, and while he is intent on proving his innocence, she gave up on being anything but a villain a long time ago.
It's about deconstructing the model minority myth, trans rage, propaganda, and with a healthy dose of "FUCK the police".
Content warnings: Heavy injury, on screen suicide attempt, flashing lights
feel free to add more shows! just remember to keep the summaries as spoiler free as you can and add content warnings!
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blushweddinggowns · 1 year
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I can't stop thinking about Eddie having a massive bitch fetish for mean girl Steve, especially after they get together.
Like before, sure, he was just as much in King Steve's thrall as every other high school girl was, even if it was a secret he had planned on taking to the grave. Every time he'd hear him make a snappy comment to one of his friends or say something particularly cutting when he talked back to the teachers was enough to make Eddie flush.
But now that they're together it's even worse than high school Eddie could imagine. Because Steve Harrington is protective as fuck and when you mix that with being gay in small-town Indiana with a boyfriend whose the town pariah for murders he didn't commit, you get a lot of opportunities for bitchy Steve.
The check-out lady at the grocery store scoffs when she sees them holding hands? Steve's jumping in, "Wow Linda, guess you're not a champion for love huh? Is that why your husband left you last year?"
An ex-jock and current gas station attendant makes a comment about how Eddie should be in prison? "Weren't you the guy who shit his pants at Carol's party freshman year? Honestly, I feel like that's a worse social crime than anything my Eddie ever did."
An old teacher comments on how he's not "surprised" that Eddie never graduated when they run into him? "I guess that just goes to show how shitty of a teacher you were doesn't it? He passed his GED test on the first try, maybe you should just think of a different career option?"
He has an arsenal of embarrassing stories and tidbits for almost every person in Hawkins, courtesy of his near-daily gossip sessions with his mom. Even when they move in together, those don't stop, they just switch to weekly three-hour phone conversations. (The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?)
And Eddie loved how willing Steve was to stand up for him, he did, really. But every time Eddie had to bear witness to Steve tearing someone down for his benefit, it felt like he was losing his mind.
He'd flush, go bright pink, get weak in the knees, everything you would expect from a love-struck sixteen-year-old girl, not a twenty-one-year-old drug dealer. Half the time he had to drag Steve to the nearest unoccupied space just to kiss him, and the other half he was too busy trying to hide a humiliating hard-on.
Eddie keeps that specific obsession to himself, but he knows he doesn't have much time left before he figures it out. There are only so many impromptu make-out sessions mixed with snide comments before Steve puts two and two together.
And Eddie just knows that he will never let him live it down, which will only add fuel to the fire if he starts doing it on purpose to tease him. Steve already had him wrapped around his finger enough as is, he didn't need another thing to make him realize just how gone for him Eddie was.
No, this one was going to stay with him, a secret that he'd actually manage to take to his grave.
Or so he thought.
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remembertheplunge · 1 year
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My name is Lew Wentz.
I am a 68 year old gay criminal defense lawyer. I have been keeping journals for 46 years. I am writing a book based on the journals.
I came out as a gay man in 1984. I was married to a woman then. I left the marriage after telling her I was gay.
My younger sister, Zoe, who I was very close to, died rather suddenly of pancreatic cancer earlier this year. She gave me permission to blog the last two weeks of her life.
I journaled my journey through the turbulent 1980's and 1990's. During that time, I was pretty vocal about being gay. I volunteered to help people with aids through their illness and death. And, I believe because of this, I was fired from my job as a deputy Public Defender in Modesto California. I had a 12 year relationship with my partner, Jim, who died in 2009.
I wrote pretty much daily about these events and many others. I never intended for the entries to be made public. But, I now think they should be as they weave a common story of what it's been like to be out, human and gay in the past four decades.
And, as I journaled, I developed ideas and ways to journal and wrote about them in the journals. I discuss the impact journaling has had on me. And, the amazing revelation reviewing journal entries for the blog and book of just how incredible our lives have been. Memory fades. The journal details do not.
My hope is that , after reading the blogs, and maybe some day the book, you too will become addicted to journaling. Your life on paper will amaze you down the line.
My blog turns one year old on February 5, 2024.
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luckycloverforducks · 1 month
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Fuck it, HH swap AU
Their core personalities and backgrounds stay the same, it's mostly a role switch
Niffty <--> Husker
Angel Dust <--> Vaggie
Alastor <--> Charlie
(the typical for swap AUs, I know,,)
Everyone else stays the same
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These r edits bc I was just figuring out their designs for the AU, I'll draw them normally another time (Husker isn't here cuz I can't find a good png of the mf)
(+) ANGEL'S EDIT IS AT THE END CUZ I FORGOT
In this AU Alastor started the hotel mostly because he randomly thought up the idea once and thought, "that's fucking hilarious, I'm doing that" + a secondary sentimental reason he'd kill me for saying (he got genuinely fully invested in the cause eventually)
He advertised it on his radio show suddenly out of the blue after 7 and a half years of radio (lol) silence. Alastor still owns Husker's and Niffty's souls but they're also obviously friends (or atleast close to it)
Also he can read tarot bc why not :3
Charlie is closer to her dad in this AU and more sheltered, adopting a more aloof, smug, and dangerous persona so sinners take her seriously, she also has a very slight condescending outlook towards sinners but she's at her core still compassionate and still views them as her people and want to protect them to a certain extent, and she still thinks the Exterminations are unnecessary and cruel, but she doesn't feel like she can do much about it since according to Lucifer's stories and discouragement, she knows heaven likely wouldn't listen much if at all, but when she heard of Alastor's little project it resparked hope in her and she decided to invest in it, becoming co-owner and funder for the hotel.
Angel Dust/Anthony never made a deal with Valentino and actually stayed in his family's crime/mafia business for the 1st half of him being in Hell, but his dad is a POS and kicked him out for being gay so he started doing s3x work, and then he met Alastor after he brutalized his harassers one day, and Angel wanted to repay the favor somehow. Alastor seems interested in him so they struck a deal (not a soul deal, just a simple deal) which has Angel/Anthony is under Alastors protection in exchange for Angel/Anthony's loyalty and assistance when needed (which is a rare case so Angel still feels like he owes Alastor). They grow friendly with time, and Alastor offers to have him be patient zero for his redemption project, and he accepted.
Vaggie/Vi is still a fallen exterminstor and still met Charlie the same way she did in the show, but after that they went their separate ways and Vi finds herself making a deal with Velvette. Instead of being a pornstar like Angel in the show, she is an influencer and a rockstar/singer, she does enjoy making music and playing the guitar but Velvette tends to overwork her and make her do things she doesn't really like for views/popularity. Velvette is the nicest to Vi/Vaggie compared to with her other employees (which isn't a very highly set bar tbh) but she also frequently break her boundaries.
Vi met Charlie again during one of her concerts and they got close and started dating. (Also one sided Velvette x Vaggie is sort of slightly maybe canon in this AU bc toxic Yuri is fun (and it's only fully one sided after Charlie and Vaggie/Vi started dating))
She helps manage the hotel when needed, but is honestly only there cause Charlie is.
Not much about Niffty changes tbh (she's perfect the way she is, utterly unhinged 😍) she's just a bit more mellowed out and less hyper (she's still hyper just not all the time like in the show) and she's also a bartender and has surprisingly good taste for alcohol, and also frequently makes borderline poisonous drinks while experimenting, but when she gets it right it's really good. Doesn't stop the others of being terrified of her drinks though
Husker is a more smiley and charming in this AU, using a laid back attitude to put people at ease and more willing to open up to him if they need to (he used to use the information people share as blackmail when he needs to back when he was an Overlord, although he never actually needs to spread anything, just threats), and he's still very observant but he's also slightly more unhinged- He's a sort of butler/cleaner for the hotel
He still gets grumpy time to time, but mostly when he's drunk, which isn't as often anymore ever since Niffty was put in charge of the bar (understandably so)
He has a bit of an anger issue and also gets annoyed easily, and sometimes makes unhinged threats as a sort of joke (they stop being much of a joke once you genuinely piss him off)
He likes things clean and tidy because it helps him pretend to be put together
He and Alastor are a bit friendlier compared to in the show, hes still one of the few people that knows more about Alastor, though hes still bummed about the whole being owned by Alastor thing (Husker can also read tarot to a lesser extent bc Al taught him for funzies and Husker thought it's interesting)
His gambling addiction is also ever so slightly worse
Angel Dust --v
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Note
Look, This is gonna be one of those things that sounds bad until you read the whole story. Please don't read the title and go to 'yta' without reading.
AITA for yelling at our friend that my brother isn't trans?
Look, My brother ISNT trans. He likes to wear kilts and sew, Which is what kind of started all of this. My brother is NOT trans, He loves being a boy (trust me, I can hear him enjoying being a boy in his room all the time. Theres no way he'd wanna chop it off(I mean this as a joke I don't actually know how the surgery works), He's told me multiple times that being told by others what he likes is 'feminine' and 'girly' upsets him because he's proud of being a boy and doesn't like being called a girl. Its not because he hates girls or thinks less of them, He just does not like being called the wrong gender which I'm sure you want to be called the correct gender too.)
Anyways lets begin. I (16F) am my little brothers (15M) best friend, Basically. We grew up together and do everything together, Including sewing. I liked it when I was younger, And eventually convinced him to try it as well. He loved it, And we love just sitting together and making random crap we usually end up selling at our yearly garage sale. (Our mom makes us sell all our unneeded crap every year, But we aren't complaining when we make like $100 for it, Mom and dad even help us figure out what we actually wanna keep (we sometimes see old things and go 'Oh I could never get rid of this' and then throw it away))
Sorry for the rambling, But you'll see why some of this is important to know.
Basically, We were getting our shit together for the garage sale, And invited over a mutual friend of ours, Who I'll call uhhh Ley (16F). Shes kind of obsessed with the LGBTQ and loves to help people 'realize' they're gay or trans or non-binary. By this I mean she'll literally bully people she 'knows' is gay or trans by always telling them they are and spreading rumors about them saying they are. The way she 'knows' these things are from gut feelings. I thought maybe she needed friends who would be honest with her and tell her gently that it needed to stop. She stopped being so bad with it and we even convinced her to admit to the rumors she started being fake. We've known her for around 3 years now, And she's stopped doing it as aggressively for 2 of those years. She still makes jabs and 'jokes' saying things like "Oh thats so girly, Are you sure you're not trans?" and "Oh thats such a boy thing to do, Are you a lesbian?", Both quotes she's said to me and my brother less than a week ago. I am straight and cis, So is my brother. We have nothing against the lgbt, We just aren't apart of it. We support the lgbtq as much as possible (with my part time job I like to donate some of my paycheck towards point of pride so people who need the surgeries or binders can get them), And are very open about supporting them.
While we were cleaning out my brothers room and finding stuff to throw into the 'sell' box (we like to do precleaning before our parents help us, It makes everything faster and less work on the people trying to help), And Ley found my brothers kilt. She did a long exaggerated gasp, Looking at my brother.
"So, How long have you been trans? Why didn't you tell me?? I knew it the whole time!"
My brother tried to explain that it was a kilt for men, And he wasn't trans, But she kept interrupting him saying crap like 'you don't have to lie I know now' and 'Its nothing to be embarrassed about, I knew ever since you started to sew'. The last straw for me was when she continued not listening to him and started to ask about how he was gonna come out as school. I yelled at her to get out, That neither of us were gay, Neither of us are trans, And neither of us are apart of any of the lgbtq. We are allies and nothing more. She tried to argue that he had a 'skirt' which OBVIOUSLY meant he was trans, I basically screamed at her that she was a stupid know it all who made everyone who wasn't apart of the lgbtq's life hell because she made sure everyone knew them as someone they arent (I know, I shouldn't of brought up 2 years in the past) and that I was tired of her trying to force everyone to be in the LGBTQ when its just not realistic. Not everyone is gay or trans, Some people are cis and straight. She started crying and left, We haven't spoken in a few days but I think I'm justified. I'm tired of living my life being told I'm something I'm not, I'm tired of seeing it happen to my brother too.
My brother later thanked me for standing up for him, Telling me it made him really upset when she said those things. To cheer him up we watched his favorite movies and I made him his favorite dinner (mom and dad both work day jobs so we both make lunch and dinner)
And for those who are gonna say that allies are apart of the LGBTQ I strongly believe the A is for aro/ace. Being an ally isn't a gender or sexuality
(unless people identify using ally/allyself of course or whatever it is, I'm not quite sure how neos work or whatever but I love to see how creative people get with it and am happy it gives people who don't identify with any of the normalized(? Idk the correct term but yknow the man woman and nb) genders a chance to be who they actually are)
Extra info on why I think I could be the asshole: I feel like we might've been able to explain it if we got her to shut up for a minute, But she kept talking over us. I feel like I went too far by insulting her, And I feel like I might be TA because she's also autistic (so is my brother though, And I have ADHD).
Why I think I'm NTA: My brother is really quiet and doesn't really defend himself often. He doesn't really know how to stand up for himself and is 'easy' to talk over (soft spoken, Quiet talking voice and nonconfrontational) which is why I believe I had to step in in his place, And I don't believe I did anything wrong defending my brother and making her stop calling him what hes not.
Anyways. AITA for yelling at our friend that my brother isn't trans?
To see later: PINK PANTHER
What are these acronyms?
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thechekhov · 3 months
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Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts
CH.30 (Good Medicine)
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I kind of assumed that things would get worse from here...
...yeah, there's no 'but' to that. Getting Falin back so quick was too good to be true.
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Aren't those the ghosts Falin talked to? They could be friendly.
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"ee gads! a hairless little man!" I'd be frightened too if Chillchuck was suddenly behind a door I'd just opened.
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Chillchuck, buddy, less than 24 hours ago you threw a knife directly into a dragon's eye. You can take care of some worgs, right?
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Senshi's a card carrying member of the smells-okay-to-me-chief club.
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Orcs be like 'oh, dragon's gone? Hm. Curious' and then just carry on. Wouldn't you be worried that something took out the dragon? Could be even more dangerous than the dragon itself.
I feel like at this point Falin might be just that.
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MOUTH TO MOUTH RESUSCITATION!
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Marcille, I don't think you have a lot of options.
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......just realized those moose antlers are holding up her rack. Talk about a pushup bra. Damn. Respect.
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Wait go back to that "create monsters to do their bidding" thing again. Was that the little mini dragons or does that include larger monsters like the dragon itself?!
OR something that was IN the dragon, controlling its actions and make it act irrationally? Is that why the Sorcerer wasn't surprised to see Falin as a separate thing outside the dragon? Was the assumption that whatever THING it was had escaped and become Falin?
And for all we know... it kinda had. It had merged with her spirit....
Or maybe I'm way off.
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Congrats on the larger story plot! :D You're now in even more danger! Hoorah!
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Chillchuck, a normal person would just go 'I'm leaving, pay me'. You're giving yourself away, worrying for them.
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I can't hate him for the reasoning here. The deeper you go, the less likely you are to be found. The only person who cares enough about Marcille and Laios and Chillchuck to find their bodies are.... each other. So if they're dead here, they're likely dead-dead.
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I want to nestle into her bosom and live there as a little creature.
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Moreso than when she was literally in the gullet of a red dragon?! Come on, be reasonable. At least she's alive now. And remembers who she is.
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Ooooh friendly ghosts. Makes sense why Falin was so chill about them.
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All the more reason to believe there's something to be done!
Love the doggo yawning behind Chillchuck.
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He's a coward, but being afraid isn't necessarily a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you realize how dangerous a situation is. Cowardice isn't stupidity, no more than ignorance of danger is bravery.. I think the orc leader is maybe realizing he's not doing it for completely selfish reasons. Mad respect to her though.
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It WAS Falin, wasn't it? It wasn't as if it was a thing pretending to be her. She was there, and she was revived successfully, and then the soul confusion thing happened.
......damn. What a small holiday they got, before the next horrible thing happened...
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hey, Marcille is not dumb! She's got loads of braincells! they're just all focused on doing evil stuff and being gay.
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🎯
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That's right! It's just like you, Chillchuck!
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Was that... there before?
Oh, okay, no, it was. Hm.......
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This stupid man is about to full a Falin and jump out a window to go look for her, isn't he.
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Gods, this sucks for him so much. For all of them. Because they.... they WERE successful! They rescued Falin! They brought her back from the head! They DID that!
But now, instead of getting the reward of it, she's just gone. Is it better, because she's alive?
Or worse, because the threat is even more nebulous?
If they all died, would it be worth it?
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who's the coward...? he's ready to go back.
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For Falin, they went down there. They risked themselves.
For them, after talking to him only a bit, the orc leader went from 'hey, nice snack for my dog' to 'we're helping you get that girl back'.
It's about the CONNECTION!!! IT'S ABOUT HELPING EACH OTHER AFTER LEARNING TO UNDERSTAND ONE ANOTHER!!!
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within-your-eyes-if · 8 months
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Within Your Eyes Intro Post
DEMO [Last Updated Jan. 24th, 2024]
You are a Warden, a monster hunter who has come to the Kingdom of Auris which has become the forefront runner in it’s acceptance of magic and supernatural alike within the West Highlands. But when strange happenstances occur, you are called upon not just because of skill, but also because of your condition. A condition you’ve lied about for last 12 years.
Unearth the secrets that magic holds as a new form is discovered.
Befriend or romance those who attempt to worm through the cracks of the mask you wear. Or will you fight to keep them at arms length?
Regardless of where your journey takes you, your feathered friend will be at your side. As he always has been.
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This story will be 18+ for the following reasons:
Explicit and erotic intimate scenes
Death, including of a child
Violence, blood and gore
Thoughts of suicide
Mentions of suicide
Self harm
Explicit language
Mental trauma
Horror elements
Feelings of being watched
NOTE: Your character will be pretending to have a disability (blindness), not because of a disorder but out of self preservation.
This list may be updated.
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You are running away from your past. As you take a this new job, you're forced to confront it. What vices do you use to cope? Will you learn to rely on others or will your raven be your only source of comfort? Will you feel guilty for your lies? Yours will be a journey of self-forgiveness, or maybe you'll only fall deeper into despair.
Play as a man, woman, or non-binary. Gay, straight, or bi.
Plenty of customization options from physical appearance to clothes.
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Φ Admos de Le Wren ─ Male | Draconian | Second-Born
Admos, the Dragon Lord of Auris, ascended to the throne following a devastating conflict with his father, bypassing his older brother's claim. This decision deepened the rift among his siblings. As he enters his fifth year as sovereign, Admos grapples with guilt and uncertainty about his role in the family's discord. Will you help him find clarity or fuel his doubts?
Φ Lyth/Lyari de Le Wren ─ Gender Selectable | Draconian | Tenth-Born
Ly took on the role of Viceroy/Vicereine in Auris and became their brother Admos's Right Hand, playing a vital part in the kingdom's recovery after a conflict with their father. However, an incident they triggered over a year and a half ago almost led to another war, casting doubt on their suitability for their position and their aid to their brother. Will you help Ly grapple with their past actions and uncertainties about their role as Viceroy/Vicereine, or will their internal conflicts remain unresolved?
Φ Leese/Lea van Laere ─ Gender Selectable | Human | Vampire
Born into nobility, Lee's life as the child of prominent figures in Lenia took an unexpected turn when they were turned into a vampire. Forced to leave their home, Lee now wrestles with their new identity, desperately seeking meaning in their existence and if it's worth maintaining.
Is Lee a monster consumed by instinct, or can you help them reclaim their humanity?
Φ Xiang Xiaowen/Xiaodan ─ Gender Selectable | Human
Xiao, an ambassador dispatched to Auris to aid the Dragon Lord in Council matters, fought hard to secure their role. Serving as an unofficial advisor, they frequently share insights to assist Admos. Yet their unwavering dedication to obtaining this position hints at a deeper motivation. Perhaps they will reveal it to you.
Φ Gabriel Duarte ─ Gender Selectable | Human
Assigned to you as an assistant of sorts, the recently knighted guard is searching for their place within the Order. Perhaps their new mission will set them on a path for glory, or sink them beneath the turmoils it takes to obtain.
Φ Hestia ─ She/They | Elf? | Witch
Even the most kind have their secrets.
Φ ???
Poly Routes: Lyth/Lyari and Gabriel | Leese/Lea and Gabriel | Xiaowen/Xiaodan and Hestia
Love Triangle: Admos and ???
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Romance Information Post
Tumblr Asks are disabled for the time being.
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WYE will always be free with chapters released once they are finished.
This is a planned trilogy.
Thank you for reading and for your support! ♥
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tlouadditc · 8 months
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screw the cops!!
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cop!ellabs x dealer!reader
warnings: 18+, MDNI, smut with plot, mentions of drugs [marijuana], cop!ellabs, dealer!reader, a lil bit of knifeplay, dom!ellabs, sub!reader, use of y/n, reader gets cut a lil bit oops!, probably more but i cant think of it rn
last minute a/n: this was another ask i forgot to put under the question ☹️ anyway thank u for the ask!!
[10:06 pm]
MY FAV ;): heyyy u got an 8th?? i can pick up at the library in 15 :)
you read the text, grumbling as you get up from your couch. you quickly shoot back:
YOU: lmk when ur there
it was supposed to be an off-day; sit in your dorm, watch tv, maybe have someone over, but no. everyone needed your shit at all times. she's lucky she's your favorite -- otherwise you would've told her to fuck off.
locking your door behind you, you get in your car and pull out of your driveway. as you glide through the gentle darkness, you feel random anxiety, like something bad is happening. it could be the lack of sleep. it could be the upcoming deadline you haven't started. it could also be the fact the entire campus is being searched because some dumbass freshman left his- no, sorry, YOUR- weed in his dorm and got the cops called. he didn't snitch luckily; he knows you would've gotten him killed if he did. but now there's a patrol going on until they find who's distributing. it's not like you wanted to live this life- you barely graduated high school, getting a small scholarship to a local college. the debt hit you, parents refused to help you anymore because you're an adult, blah blah blah blah. you ended up here to finally make a stable income and not have to chose between being warm or being fed consistently.
the sob story makes you cringe, snapping back into reality as you park in a spot by the front of the campus library. you pull out your phone and send:
YOU: here. wya
3 bubbles quickly pop up, written with a response:
MY FAV ;): kk coming out now
as you read the text, you hear the front doors swing open and a tall, slim figure gets larger as it comes closer. as she steps into the streetlight, you see her; sophomore dina. her long, onyx hair dances down her back as she comes closer to your car. she rests one arm on your window, other arm reaching into her pocket. she pulls out 35 bucks, tilting her head to the side slightly and smirking. you hand her a small baggie and take the bills out of her hand, shoving it into your pocket. "you're the best," she gushed, taking her arm off your window. she starts to turn to walk back to the library when she says, "oh, by the way, gave my friend your number."
you freeze, looking up at her in pure horror. "you what?"
"okay, chill, she's cool," she quickly explains, putting a hand on her hip in annoyance.
you roll your eyes, "the entire campus is getting fucking raided, for god's sake. cmon, dina."
"so, what? not everyone's a dumbass like that kid was."
you sigh. you guess she's right. plus, more business for you in the long run. she gives some information about this girl; her names ellie. she's a sophomore majoring in astrophysics who transferred from another school in jackson. around 5'5, auburn hair, science nerd. "pretty sure she's gay, too," dina winks.
you roll your eyes once more before pulling out and returning home. as soon as you unlock the door and step in, you check your other phone, an unknown number's texts sitting on the lock screen.
[UNKNOWN NUMBER]: hii this is y/n right?
[UNKNOWN NUMBER]: dina gave me ur number
gotta be ellie, you think to yourself. kinda cute. you don't respond; you hate small talk. no point in trying to get to know each other if you already know what they want. you put your phone down and start to get ready for bed.
an hour later, you get out of your shower and into comfy clothes. as you get into your freshly made bed, your other phone buzzes. you would usually ignore it, but you remember; debate checking the message or leaving it alone until tomorrow. eventually, curiosity gets the best of you and you check your phone. you groan as you read the message:
[11:37pm]
EL: i know its late but can u drop off? i need it :(
goddamnit, leave me alone!
you type up some message along the lines of 'im off today, ask tomorrow bitch,' but decide to be nice. you don't know why, but you only respond with the following:
YOU: off today. ask tmr
3 dots in a bubble move swiftly as a response pops up on your screen:
EL: pleaaaaase itll be quick
you sigh. she's not gonna let up; just like dina.
YOU: fine. ill b at the library.
she hearts your message as you throw on some sweatpants and grab your keys. you go on the same drive but you feel no anxiety this time. it's a newbie, for god's sake- she's the one who's probably nervous. you even put on some music this time, drake lowly lulling in your vehicle. you pull up, same spot as earlier, and you turn down your music. you go to text her, but the doors open before you can press a letter. she's just as dina described- until she gets up to your window. her scattered freckles complimented her bright, emerald eyes. her friendly expression made you soft under her gaze. you didn't realized she was talking for a while until she whispered, "uh... hello?"
"what?" you said, clearly perplexed. she smiled as you remembered what you're there for. she hands you 25 bucks as you place the baggie in her free hand. she lets out a silent "thanks" before you get ready to drive back home.
"uh, actually," she suddenly blurted out, catching your attention. she seemed nervous, like she had something to say, but she was scared of the outcome. "do you mind.. uh.. giving me a ride back home? i mean i walked down here and it's dark so-"
"hop in," you interrupted. it was pretty dark and you wouldn't want patrol on her ass about being out by herself, so you decided to get it over with. she pranced around to the passengers side and practically jumped in.
the ride to her dorm was quiet. ellie was on her phone the entire time; you assumed it was her roommate asking her where she's at. there was a bit of tension you could feel in the air; what type? you couldn't answer that.
coming to a stop at the entrance of her dormitory, she thanked you once again before you prepared to go home yourself.
"you could stay the night," she mumbled, fumbling with the bag in hand.
"what? no- no, i can't do that," you answered. you weren't against staying over, but... going home with someone you literally met an hour ago? absolutely not.
"jus' c'mon. it's late," she insisted, biting her lip anxiously. "plus, i owe you." you sight and give in, turning off the engine and ignition before grabbing your keys and phone and joining her on the walkway. she smiled politely and led you to her dorm.
the entire time you were walking with her, you assessed her appearance in clearer light. her hair was a shaggy cut, parted to the side and tucked behind her ears even though some stray strands still stood. her eyes were welcoming and friendly, giving you a warm feeling of hope. she had a tattoo on her right arm; a fern and a small butterfly. you debate asking her the meaning, but decide against it.
you snap out of your trance when you make it to her door. she unlocks the door and gently pushes it in, leaving room for you to step inside. "come in!"
you take 3 steps inside before you're pushed to the ground and pinned by strong, rough hands. "what the fuc- hey!" you start to shout. you squirm, hopelessly attempting to be freed from the tight grasp of what you thought was a male officer.
"you're under arrest," an unfamiliar, feminine voice states, "for possession and distribution of marijuana. you have the right to remain silent at this time." you see ellie's shoes standing in front of you, silently taunting you as you're handcuffed.
fuck, i should've never trusted her.
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you're patted down and escorted to an unmarked car, parked around 30 feet away from your car. the unfamiliar figure is a tall, built woman with a long, blonde braid swinging down her back. her calloused hand grips you tightly as you're being walked. once you reach the vehicle, you're thrown into the back and the door slams in your face. you don't argue or protest; you were caught after one fuck up.
"didn't expect to catch her so easily," ellie brags, slightly looking back at you. you scowl at her, feeling betrayed by not only ellie, but dina, too. she had [hopefully] unknowingly helped them ruin your life. you were for sure not going to be able to finish college now. you wouldn't be able to get a job nice enough to stabilize your life. not to mention the possibility for 5 years of jail time and fees. it all made your head hurt. tears weld up in your eyes as you started to really let reality sink in.
"aw, she's crying," the blonde officer teased, looking at you through the rear-view mirror. you blinked back the tears before spitting out, "fuck you."
"the fuck you just say to me?"
"you heard me; fuck. you."
you could see her jaw clench, her bone well-defined under her skin. "oh, i know you wanna fuck me." a snicker was heard from the auburn girl.
the hell??
it was a weird response, but you decided to play into it. you're already being sent to jail; why not have fun?
"you wouldn't do anything about it if i wanted to anyway."
you saw the blonde's eyes go wide and her jaw drop with disbelief, looking over at her partner. ellie seemed calm, but intrigued by the situation. it was silent, but the way their eyes met was like they were talking through eye contact. ellie tilts her head towards you, signaling something to the other officer. as if she could read her mind, the blonde nods and pulls over to an abandoned alleyway.
"what's going on?" you question, attempting to hide the fear in your voice, but failing miserably. the blonde got out of the car and slammed the door shut as ellie simply answered, "you said we wouldn't do anything, hm?"
a shiver went down your spine as the door to your right opened, the blonde hopping in as you scooted all the way to your left.
"uh-uh, come here," she demanded as her hand wrapped around your neck and dragged you back to her. at this moment, your back rests against her toned thighs, handcuffed hands under your ass, legs laying on the seat.
"you wanna be disrespectful to me and my partner?" she jerks your head up, making you look at her. her sharp features take up your vision as she looks down at you with dark eyes. "you think you were just gonna get away with that? nuh-uh, not on my watch." you take your gaze off her face to read her badge, which reads "ABBY ANDERSON".
you're so focused on abby that you don'r realize ellie is on the other side of you, watching you and abby interact. you feel a sharp object on your jeans, scoring against the material. your head jerks down to see ellie running a pocketknife over your clothed cunt, fear and adrenaline running through you all at once. your breathing picks up speed as she cuts through your jeans, making a hole in the crotch. abby chuckles at your reaction, caressing your face as she coos, "not so tough now, huh?"
you're too caught up in looking at ellie's actions to respond. she puts the knife down, letting a feeling of relief wash over you. she mutters a "fuck it" before placing both hands on either side of the hole she made and ripping your jeans. you gasp, anxiety filling you once more. she smirks up at you, grabbing her knife and running it over your barely covered pussy. she loves the way you try to get away from her knife, silent cries as she gets closer to the meat of your thigh. she slightly cuts into you, small drops of blood racing down your inner thigh. you wince in pain, turning back to abby. "shh, it's okay," she reassures, kissing your sweaty forehead. "just a little cut. you're okay." you feel ellie's warm tongue running over the wound, collecting the red liquid. she kisses near your core, green eyes piercing into you before whispering, "so sweet" and smiling. abby gently kisses you, drawing your attention away from your cut to her and only her. she taps her pointer finger on your chin and whispers "open up", which you obey to. her lips purse together, gathering the liquid in her mouth before a ball of saliva drops into your mouth and onto your tongue. "swallow," she commands, and you close your mouth and swallow it, feeling it slip down your throat. she smiles, tapping your cheek lightly as she praises you. "good girl. she's doing so well, isn't she, el?"
ellie hums, hyper-focused on your pooling pussy. "so wet," she says in awe, "all this gets you off, doesn't it?"
you're oh so needy, cunt begging to be touched in any form. you nod ferociously, whining for any friction on your puffy clit. "you want it, yea? beg for it."
"p-please, ill do anything, just fuck me- ohmygod-" you babble, hips bucking up into ellie's face. she chuckles before looking up to abby, meeting her gaze. "she's been so good for us. give her a lil' reward."
with that, ellie cuts your underwear with one swift movement, completely exposing your pussy to her. she gasps at the sight, glistening skin in the low light. she whispers a spew of curses, spreading you apart as abby kisses you passionately. you moan into the kiss as ellie rubs your bud with her thumb. your noises go straight to her core, making her slightly whimper. she lays a flat tongue on your core, soaking up all of your juices on the pink muscle. abby wraps a firm hand around your throat, restricting airflow enough to make you completely feel ellie on you.
"fuck- oh, my god-" you cry, tears welling up in your eyes once more. the feeling is too much; abby kissing you, ellie eating you out- everything is overstimulating you. ellie smiles against your pussy, sucking on your clit while shoving two fingers in you. you whine and squirm away from her, but her other hand keeps you in place.
"i'm gonna- m'cumming- !!" you breathe, clenching around ellie's long fingers. abby praises you through it; "oh, so good for us, baby." "cum all over her fingers f'me, yes." small kisses are planted on your face once again, soothing you through your orgasm. ellie slowly takes her fingers out with a pop! before shoving one glistening finger into her mouth. she moans at the taste of you, maintaining eye contact with you. "shit, so sweet," she murmurs, looking over at abby. "wanna taste?"
"of course," abby says slyly, glancing over at you before sucking on ellie's middle finger, completely cleaning it off. she moans at the taste, finally letting ellie's middle finger go after a couple of seconds. she pulls you into another sloppy, heated kiss, making you taste yourself on her tongue.
"such a sweet thing," she coos, wiping your face. "too bad we gotta take you in now."
"can't let me off with a warning?"
"we would, but we'd be here for much longer and you'd be more bruised up." abby frowns in a mocking manner.
"so you're taking me in with no pants or underwear?"
"yup. don't underestimate us and, more importantly, don't sell drugs."
a/n: this was so fun to write omg ... part 2 will be coming me thinks
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Text
Mercy, Moira, Kiriko, Junker Queen and Sombra relationship hc’s
- reader is kept gender neutral
-warnings: fluff, some angst, nsfw
-I am very gay for these women so why not write about them:) This post is also gonna be a long one so hop in fellas
-Sombra’s is a little longer due for backstory reasons
-part 2!
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Mercy
- ah yes, the earth angel herself who has had my heart since 2016 <3
-Angela is very loyal and loving to you but her role as a medic gets in the way most of the time. She feels bad every time she has to leave during the night (especially after making love to you, she doesn’t see it as just sex), during date nights, or even on her days off that you planned for her to de-stress
-but even with all that, you stay by her side and help get rid of that fear. You love how she is dedicated to her job and how amazing she is at it
- I could imagine from the crazy hours she works, she is sleep deprived. She gets maybe 3 hours of sleep at most. When she comes home to see you on the couch, she slips off her shoes and coat to come lay on top of you and sleep.
-She loves when you come and visit her at work!!! Whether you work for overwatch or not, spending her lunch break with you, with food that you bring for her, always puts a smile on her face
-Though you love her, you do find yourself sad or disappointed a lot because of her work. You know this isn’t her fault and she always makes it up to you, but you do get lonely. You would find yourself crying to sleep at night. Yes, you’re not hero, but a regular person who was lucky enough to get with this angel of a woman, but at what price?
-Every relationship has their arguments, yours doesn’t get too heated cause you both are rational, but you two do find yourself arguing in the beginning of her always work and how you feel lonely in a place you both share and call home. When she first saw you cry during an argument due to this problem, Angela felt her stomach sink. She never intended to make you cry or be upset. She’s able to calm you down, also expressing her fear of you leaving her
- You both come to an agreement to always let the other know how you feel and try to understand where they are coming from. Angela actually starts looking for assistants to train! She would like to have help around the office to get work done faster but also means she can spend time you with.
-She also wants you to become well acquainted with them as well in case you ever needed help from them and vice versa. A huge strain was lifted off of your relationship and she found herself more at home with you <3
-Pulling away from the topic of work, Angela loves to cook meals with you! Specially if they meals are from her home country.
-Whenever you made a traditional swiss dishes for your anniversary, she teared up and thanked you over and over again. It’s hard to get a meal from home whenever your work is crazy, she’s thankful you thought of her love for her country
-Spa day!!! She loves when you run her a warm bath with her favorite scented candles of pomegranate, red berries, and patchouli (totally not the candle I have in my room)
-Angela loves doing face masks with you to detox <3
-Idk why I see her as a handy person??? Oh you got a new desk?? Oh s/o let her build it for you. Got a new shelf? Don’t worry, Angela can do it
-Angela loves to show you off to her coworkers. You’re the light of her life, her loving s/o. She would go to the ends of the earth for you
nsfw
-Doesn’t matter what you identify as, she tops. End of story. There are a few occasions she bottoms. 
-She always has to take care of people but whenever she takes care of you sexually, she feels the same fulfillment after a days of work
-Doesn’t mean she sees sex as a chore or job!!! she just loves being able to take care of her baby <3
- Event though she wears a strap, she loves to watch you suck the dildo that’s in the harness. She can’t feel anything but just seeing you looking up at her with your sweet eyes her mind goes blank and can only think of how beautiful you are. Loves to receive and give oral <3
-Will absolutely play doctor with you but she slips in medical terms you don’t understand lol
-Her breast is definitely sensitive- so when you are relaxing on the couch and you slip your hands up her shirt to massage her chest, she’s putty in your hands. Holding onto your wrists and she leans her head back and moans for you
-Loves when you ride her- when she looks up at you, you look absolutely ethereal riding her strap
-When the few times she does bottom, she finds herself slipping into her native language, switching from english to german, especially when she’s getting close. Even if you don’t understand german, you picked up on a few phrases yourself
-Like I said, my gal is sensitive, so vibrators are a good friend to have! She loves when you look her in her eyes when you control the vibrator, making her look into your eyes when she cums <3
Moira
-my favorite “un-ethical” genetic engineer (aka my lesbian lover)
-Moira is definitely hard person to come around due to her intimidating presence. But that didn’t stop you from pinning for her
-When she notices people, she takes subtle mental notes. When she first met you, she isn’t thought how cute you are, adorable even
-The first few times she interacted with you it was strictly about work, But over time you noticed how she would make little jokes to you like:
“did you also notice how that guy is wearing his tie wrong?’
“Hello y/n, did sombra contact you today about lunch plans? Are you going to her little...festivity?” (she prayed you would say yes)
“Y/n, would you like to come get coffee with me?”
-That was her first time asking you out and you loved it! She took you to her favorite cafe that happened to be anime themed and slowly she would tell you how her drink inspired from Naruto was the best and the plot line of the show
-When your relationship starts, Moira will put her work above you. Sorry not sorry, it’s the truth. Science is her entire life, she cares and adores you, but her first love is science
-It does pain you she chooses science over you. Date night? Oops sorry, I forgot, I was caught up with work. You cooked dinner? Sorry my love, I’m caught up at work right now so don’t stay up for me. Sometimes you find yourself crying to sleep and when you wake up with puffy eyes, Moira points them out but you brush it off.
-One night it came to a halt. You were getting ready to leave for the day and went to go grab your lover for home time. When you called her name she didn’t answer, You repeated yourself and she snapped for you to leave her alone and that she’s busy. You tell Moira that you’ll be cooking dinner tonight and she went on with her favorite sentence, “Sorry my love, I’m staying late tonight, you don’t have to wait up for me okay?”
-Something snapped, you started to yell how she gives all her attention to her work and never you. How at this point you were just someone she could have company with. Moira scoffed, “Why do you have to act so childish? I already told you from the beginning what your place is,”
-Childish? Your place...? Without saying another word, you slammed her door, storming to the car to get home. As soon as you arrive you burst into tears crying while getting undressed to go to bed. The sheets and blanket smelled like her, which made you cry harder. You decided to take an old shirt of hers and put it on a pillow, grab a round throw pillow, and made a makeshift model of Moira. You kissed the pillows cheek and whispered a goodnight.
-She come home that night upset, mad at you and herself, why couldn’t you understand her work? Why couldn’t she be a better girlfriend? She quietly reheated leftovers you made and eat in silence. God she hates this silence.
-When she came into your shared room her heart ached. Were you so deprived of her you had to make a makeshift version of her? Now she understands how lonely you truly feel. She changed and climbed into bed, removing the pillows from your grasp. You woke up a bit and she shush you to go back to sleep. She held you to her chest as she confessed how bad she felt from earlier, how she was wrong for underestimating your feelings and how she was in the wrong, not you. You began to cry softly at her words, and she shushed you, kissing your forehead and reassuring she loved you.
-That morning you woke up in her arms, but she was already awake watching you sleep. She kissed you good morning and told you she called the next few days off to be with you and make up for lost time. She apologized once again but this time you kissed her to let her know you forgive her.
-all right let’s move onto happy stuff!!
-When she is at her apartment with you, she loves to watch anime with you. If you’re an anime fan, good, she loves that! You two can talk about your favorite shows, compare theories, and even show each other new animes to talk about
-At times, she catches herself feeling embarrassed since anime is typically “for kids and young adults”, she’s an older woman and feels a bit insecure about it. Please comfort her!! Tell her it’s okay to have interests
-She has little figures of her favorite characters on a shelf in her room idc- definitely cosplayed once or twice and will cosplay with you!
-Since Moira is busy, take-out and delivery services are your best friends!
-Moira has never felt this much of a connection with someone before and she doesn’t want to lose it. She loves when you kiss the knuckles of her corrupted arm, showing love to the science she has done. That arms also tends to hurt from time to time so heat packs!! Loves the lay in bed with you with you hold the heat pad to her arm to help her relax
-Moira is a sucker for being a little spoon but won’t admit it, please hold her too!!
nsfw
-Another top! Moira needs to dominant everything she does, including you <3 but she does bottom is you beg nicely
-another proud strap user, isn’t one for receiving oral but loves to use her mouth on you. She also loves to look at you while doing so to make you shy
-loves missionary! she loves to see all your facial reaction whenever she goes fast, rough, slow, or soft
-a secret of hers is she wants you to dress up as her favorite character for her <3 and if you do she is caught off guard but enjoys herself either way and will thank you after (maybe ask you to do it again some time)
-Moira isn’t above of dragging you into her empty lab and fingering you (don’t worry her middle and index fingernails are press on and can be removed) The risk of getting caught excites her, but she always keeps a hand over your mouth just incase
-I see her as the type to have a flogger or whip, she loves to see how your body reacts to the slight pain and how you vocal you are when you have your ass and thighs slapped by her
-latex lady. I won’t elaborate 
-I am part of the “calling hot woman ‘daddy’ committee. She feels powerful when that word slips out of your mouth. She does lean to the androgynous side, she does expect to hear ‘mommy’ at most, which you have called her, but she actually prefers daddy
-play with her breast and suck her nipples. Small boobs are the best and always melts when you play with her. She gets sensitive and lets out breathy moans which makes you go wild <3
-When she bottoms, praise her! She isn’t well liked among her colleuges or really anyone at Talon, so when you tell her she’s amazing and doing a great job, she will cover her face (uncover her beautiful face )
-totally down for you to finger her while she reads her books <3
Kiriko
- my little fox hehe <3
-Kiriko is definitely an outgoing person! She’s involved with her community, and you admired her for that!
-She met you at a festival and couldn’t help but stop and stare when she saw you. How beautiful and cheerful you were made her turn her head
-Though she is outgoing, doesn’t mean she’s confident when it comes to asking people out. She feels super shy and she definitely doesn’t want to mess up at all
-When you two are on a date and you see how almost everyone knows who she is and is all smiles when Kiriko passes by, you knew she was a good person to be around
-Kiriko knows sign language and will teach you if you ask! If you are deaf, it wouldn’t faze her. She just sees you as another person, not your disability. 
-You love to see how she interacts with kids. If you ever want kids in the future of your relationship, she would be all for it. Kiriko also loves to see you interact with the little girl in her cinematic! Seeing you interact with the child makes her heartbeat faster (in a good way)
-Since you’re with Kiriko, be prepared for her mother and the Shimada brothers. Her mother wants nothing but the best for her, you need to prove that you are strong enough physically and mentally. You never know what can happen.
-Hanzo and Genji are the other ones you have to look at out. Genji is more laid back, a “cool older brother” figure who only wants you to prove you are always going to be there for Kiriko. Hanzo on the other hand is the protective older brother figure who agrees with her mother. He silently judges you with her mother, like he does most people, but with you it feels more frequent, and you can’t help but snap after built up tension
-This pressure from people outside of your relationship builds on you. You admitted to Kiriko about this, and she felt conflicted. Yes, she trusts you and knows you care about her, but she will always listen and respect her elders and defend them at first
-You felt bad for being upset, knowing this is her family worrying about her but there is only so much criticism you can handle, specially from people you want to make a good impression on. You tell this to her and she understands completely where you’re coming from. She doesn’t want to upset you more, but this is her mother we are talking about. You cry to her how you don’t feel good enough for her and constantly worried of doing the wrong thing, knowing her mother or brothers are waiting till you slip up to point it out.
-The two of you go back and forth on this multiple times till you come to an agreement. You train with her mother and Hanzo but they have to take it easy on you and let you prove that you are just right for her. Though she is an adult, she’ll always be her mother’s baby and Hanzo’s little sister
-Kiriko loves going on rides on her bike (as a voice line indicates) and will take you on a ride! Either if you have your own or if you hop on hers. She loves taking you to different places on her bike hehe <3
-It’s definitely your job to help her eat REAL meals, not just donuts and junk food. (which her mother praises you for)
-Will tell you all the stories of the fox spirit and her personally experiences <3 specially likes it when she can lay her head in your lap and go on and on about her stories
-she will be more than happy to teach any martial art moves to help you in combat! She is your number one supporter and will always be there to cheer you on
-she can’t wait for the night where her mother invites you over for dinner and talks to you, not giving you glancing or make subtle comments on your lack of fighting skills
nsfw
-A switch but I can def see her leaning towards being a bottom, but more of a bossy bottom
-She loves to receive oral but she always returns the favor, she always whines whenever you when use your tongue
-Definitely a hair pulling. Either it be when you give her head or if she if pulling your hair back when she is fucking you
-Since she is blessed by the fox spirit, I know she has sharp canines and I know she loves to bite and mark you for others to see. After your session, she always treats your bites and make sure you’re okay
-will be down to fuck after training, especially if the two of you were sparring and being physical with each other. She will be on top for these sessions, her adrenaline is already running and wants to be rough with you
-will keep going till she out of energy, she’s an all nighter while the others on this list can go for 2-3 rounds
-She loves to play soft music in the background while you two fuck, it enhances the atmosphere, and she loves to be fucked by you to her favorite songs
-favorite position would be cuddle fucking, she can’t place her finger on it but having you close to her while you slowly grind into her, filling her up, she feels so hot and bothered.
- She loves the way you whisper into her ear as you lift her leg up to fuck her deeper, you always manage to take her breath away. Kiriko really love this position for morning sex as well
Junker Queen
-waaaa my muscular wife
-Odessa loved being the queen of Junker Town-she’s a strong ruler, knows what’s best, and can handle her own...but it does get lonely at the top
-Doesn’t matter if you’re a junker or an outsider that happened to stumble across to Junker Town, you catch her eye immediately. You stand out to her, even if she is fighting again in the reckoning to keep her title as queen
-She would come stop you were ever you were and talk to you. Of course, you were intimidated by the 7-foot-tall woman in front of you, but you were able to keep your composure for the conversation
-Odessa was blunt with you and told you that you caught her attention, in a good way of course, and how she wanted to get to know you better. Though she is tough as steel, she still gets a bit nervous of fear of being rejected
-Once she has made things official with you, she introduces you to her people as the other queen of Junker Town. Of course people were surprised she dated but they show you the same amount of respect. 
-They know if they were to ever hurt, disobey, or disrespect you in any, not Odessa, but Junker Queen will personally beat the shit out of them and toss them to the wastelands 
-Though you appreciate her standing up for you, the violence to you is too much after some time. when you try to talk to her about this she yells how she does it for you, it’s all for you. She makes into a one-man screaming battle, but she’s a lover by heart and will come to you after a few hours and apologize. She gets on her knees and hugs you by your waist, head resting on your chest
-At this point she opens up to you about her time in the Wastelands and how they have forever changed her. She cares for you like she cared for family, fighting every day to live in the harsh outside world of Junker Town. She admits she is scared to death to lose you and fights for you like how she fought for her loved ones. Odessa also admits to having nightmares in your shared bed but never wakes you up because she needs to have strong image and doesn’t want to be seen as weak
-By the end of this confession she is crying into your chest. You rub the top of her back and you comfort her. You remind her that you may be with the Junker Queen, you’re also with Odessa Stone
-She now is rational with her decision making and you tell her to ask for your help when need be, you told her it’s okay to ask for help. Hell, everyone her people noticed an attitude change when you came around, you’re great for her!
-Odessa loves sharing everything she has with you, especially music! She loves to blast her rock music in her chambers with you, jumping on the bed you two share and going into laughing fits together
-Your girlfriend is a very handy and resourceful person, you have to be to live in Junker Town. She will make you special weaponry and armor <3 always craving her and your initials into the metal
-I feel Odessa can do your hair! From cutting it to dying it, your girlfriend will do anything to help you feel beautiful with your appearance, even though you’re already so beautiful to her <3
-You are also in LOVE with her accent, she already a pretty rough girl and her voice is *chef’s kiss*. Sometimes when she’s mad and goes full aussie you can’t really understand her unless you yourself are aussie
nsfw
-She’s a total dom, no bottoming for her. She loves when “you please your queen”
-the only thing she’ll really “bottom” for is receiving oral. She loves how tiny you look compared to her and think you look sweet when you eat her out. She loves to eat you out but LOVES when you sit on her face. None of that hovering shit, she wants the full thing. She’s a big girl and can handle it!
-Odessa loves when you sit in her lap and bounce on her strap, she has a size kink and plans to utilize it. Not even just sexually, she loves how small you are and because of your size, she will fuck you standing up. She loves the amount of power she holds outside and in the bedroom.
-She also plays music during sex! But she plays music from time to time when you guys have sex unlike Kiriko who plays music during sex pretty often. there’s something about fucking you hard to the beat of her favorite songs, since her favs are metal, be prepared to be banged to the drum rhythm 
-she will bring in Gracie from time to time. She mostly uses her to cut your clothes off your body but if you are comfortable with it, she will carve in her name into your thigh. She always makes sure to clean up and clean your cuts effectively, so they don’t get infected 
-Throne sex! Throne sex! Throne sex! She doesn’t even care if people see or not, she finds it so hot that you are so willing to please her in a chair that represents her power and dominance over you and her people
-Her favorite position is doggy style. The way you look back at Odessa and moan her name like a prayer always does it for her. Slapping your ass to watch it jiggle, making you look back at her, pulling you by your hair...all of the things she loves other than you as a person <3
Sombra
- my silly hacker who also has had my heart since 2016<3
-Oliva kept herself in the shadows, she needed to so she can protect her identity as Sombra. She always needed to know everything about everyone, no matter what.
-As another night passes, another person’s skeletons in their closet are found by Sombra. She looks through the picture of the businessman she planned on exploiting next, but something caught her eye. In the picture of what it seems to be a faculty group photo, she spotted you in the back row. She zoomed in and couldn’t help but admire how pretty you are, now her focus was on you. For the next few days she tries her best to find everything about you. Where you live, your childhood, the college you went to, hell even your internet browsing history. And she wasn’t doing this for her own benefit to expose you, she was obsessed with you
-For the next Talon mission, they were able to break into the companies building and she was able to have a chat about ‘business matters’ with your boss. As a deal, he transferred some employees, including you, for ‘business opportunities’ to work for Talon in fear of his dirty deeds going public
-You were comforted to know that you fellow employees were there with you to comfort you in with this change. You’ve heard of Talon and what they stand for and feel like you have to walk on eggshells there. Though you didn’t interact too much with the head council, Sombra seem to have an eye on you
-Yes, she would mess with your co workers but never seem to do that with you. With them there was some malicious factor behind it but when Sombra teased it you it was like you two have been friends for years. After a while, Sombra was finally close enough to you to ask you out, which you accepted. She was super happy to know that the efforts worked out in her favor, they always did
-She would come visit you when you would work and keep you entertained while you slaved away to the paperwork in front of you. Massaging your shoulders, whispering compliments into your ear, and kissing your cheeks were her favorite thing to distract you with while you worked.
-You were close with your old boss and kept in contact with him. After a long phone call, he had admitted that Sombra threated him to give him employees or else he would be exposed to the public. He mentioned how Sombra was very adamite about you coming with her more than the others, saying it was like she knew you, wanted you, and had done this to get you.
-You felt frozen, was this true? Was this whole shift in not just your career life but your social life due to the fact your girlfriend just wanted you this whole time? This whole thing was planned out? 
-On a war path, you stormed to her room and started to yell at her of how she could be so selfish and how you were just like a pretty china doll she could keep for fun. Sombra was so use on never being called out on her manipulative behavior. She couldn’t really defend herself know that you knew the truth. it was worse when you began to cry, sobbing into your hands.
-”What was this for huh?! You just wanted a “pretty girl” to call yours because you thought I was good looking?! YOU have changed and put my life in danger for YOUR benefit!”
-Not Sombra, but Olivia sat you down and confessed. For the first time she admitted her wrongs and she didn’t know how to do it. She tried her hardest, but you kept crying harder and left. After a few days, Olivia came to your room and wanted to talk, you agreed. She confessed you she was wrong for only seeing you as a pretty girl, not thinking about what being apart of Talon means for your life. By the end, she was crying though tried not to. You sighed and gave her a hug where she cried harder. When her crying stopped, you pulled back and gave her a kiss on the lips, which she happily accepted. 
-You made Olivia promise to only stay by her side if she could protect from anything that came your way. You really did like her and honestly didn’t want to leave her. Olivia accepted and from that day on she has been 1000% honest with everything with you
-Now with the sadness out of the way, let’s focus on happy stuff!
-Sombra loves to cook with you! As Mercy, she loves when you cook meals that are home to her country. You always apologize in advance if it doesn’t taste like the “real thing” but she doesn’t care, she loves your cooking and your meals bring back memories of Dorado
-In a voice line interaction with Moira, she talks about the carpel tunnel in her wrists. When you two are laying down together, you always rub her wrists and fingers to drain the fluid build-up in her hands. She loves these soft, caring moments with you
-I bet her posture is really bad (just like mine) so whenever she is sitting in a chair, you always put a pillow between her back and the chair. She already had messed up hands, you can’t let your girlfriend have a messed up back too!
-Olivia loves to play with your hair, you let her try different style but do you trust her giving you a haircut?...not so much. Sorry Olivia, but Amélie has told your s/o of the time she cut her hair as a “prank”...which didn’t end well
-speaking of Amélie- her, Gaberial, and Moira asks you constantly how you can put up with her shenanigans. You shrug, they wouldn’t understand how you understand Olivia’s charm
-Dating Olivia you also become good friends with Siebren! Olivia makes it her job to watch out for him so he isn’t tested on, so if she isn’t around, you can watch over him! To some it seems like babysitting, but you end up really close to him! Olivia is happy to know that <3
nsfw
-my girl is a switch, 50/50
-Olivia loves watching you give her head, she thinks you look perfect between her legs. She also loves to eat you out, maybe one of her favorite things about sex with you tbh, she just loves watching you enjoy yourself and feel good
-With your permission, she has recorded some sessions with you. Whenever she goes away for missions and you aren’t around, she fingers herself to videos of her fucking you. she has also gave you videos to keep for yourself whenever you feel lonely with he gone.
-Olivia loves risky sex. Unlike Moira, she doesn’t cover your mouth and does it in a spot anyone can walk in. If someone happens to walk in and try to tell other people? Their social security and credit card numbers are already leaked for other hackers in the world to use
-Like Angela, if she is bottoming, she will start speaking to you in spanish but with her she will continue to speak in spanish until she is finished <3
-Olivia works with her fingers all day, you know her fingering game is good
-She is a hair puller when she’s on top, not so much for her when she is on bottom cause of the wires in her hair, have to be careful. So instead, she prefers it when you put her face into the mattress 
-Favorite position is lotus. It’s a very intimate position and she loves to hold you in her arms as you ride her strap or vice versa. She loves to take her time and show you how much you mean to her. Her life is filled with craziness, but this sharing a moment like this with you will always be her favorite.
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Thank you so much for reading!! I had a lot of fun writing this :00
likes and reblogs are always appreciated ! <3
part 2 coming!
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onehelluvacritic · 9 months
Text
Viv is too immature to write serious themes. Racism, Rape and Classism are those themes.
MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING- THIS IS COVERING DARK THEMES YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
I had to proof read this post 10 times, because the shit I see in this show is beyond fucked up.
Racism today is a hot-button subject; imagine addressing it as a poorly thought-out show with no plan or commentary. That's Helluvaboss and, to some extent Hazbin Hotel. They are in the same world.
I have to address it because this shit is wildly uncomfortable, and what could be more uncomfortable than to watch a 30-year-old white woman attempt to explain in her shitty Wattpad skill-level story that racism is terrible while backfiring so hard that it comes out as the opposite. I don't think it's in her intention to fuck up this hard, I think she's too immature and stunted to understand that racism is not something you can drop in your story and never address it, and then continue to write about your characters being racially discriminated and fetishized without someone taking issue with it because it doesn't have any self-awareness at all.
Viv's take on racism and classism are superficial and piss-poor to the point that the show is unaware of its racism toward its fictional minorities or chooses to be ignorant of the racism allegory it set up. The show is not meta enough and sticks out like a sore thumb.
Diversity of races is pointless to have in a show if you're going to put them in a position of being racially discriminated against and abused for being that race and not bother to show us why that's bad, how it affects them, what struggles they face for it and what are the consequences for being racially discriminated against. Every race has unique cultures and struggles that another race would be ignorant of because they don't experience it.
NOW- ON THE OTHER HAND..
Rape and sexual assault seems to be common theme for Viv to write about and I don't know how self aware she is, but it seems to be when she is intentionally writing about it, the messages comes across that RAPE IS BAD. Angel Dust is a victim for being raped and sexually assaulted by Valentino and this has done severe damage to Angel Dust. (The fucking understatement of the century) Fine. NOW EXPLAIN WHY IT'S FUCKING OK FOR STOLAS TO RAPE BLITZ!? AND WHY IS IT ONLY THE GAY CHARACTERS THAT CONSTANTLY GET RAPED!? Is she unaware that Stolas is RAPING Blitz? I think so and that's a SERIOUS FUCKING PROBLEM-
Rape and sexual assault are extremely dark themes to have in any story and it really concerns me that she glosses over it like it's no big deal when it's a serious issue in real life and people are severely affected by it. To plug this shit in your story and not bother to handle it with extreme care is really insensitive.
Angel Dust being raped by Valentino is glossed over and the traumatic response to an extremely violating assault on the body, would be severe. Angel Dust is not ok. And I'm not ok that this kind of shit is ignored and glossed over like it's no big deal. The same issue is happening between Blitz and Stolas. The show completely ignores the fact that Blitz is being raped by Stolas. Maybe it doesn't fit the image of what rape looks like and that's why it's being ignored by the writers of the show, but I can say for certain, that it's rape. I'll elaborate on this.
Why am I bringing this up? Well, Viv has a whole caste ranking system in hell for her demons, and this is supposed to be an essential caste system because it shows which demons are superior and which ones are going to be killed on the streets for existing. This will be important later because it affects Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel.
The IMPS = The bottom of the barrel.
Sinners = They get treated the best, to be honest.
Hell Hounds = Second-class citizens.
Succubi? = Sexy class.
Every other demon = Peasant class.
Overlords = Top class.
Goetia = Royalty.
MorningStars = Royalty.
The IMPS are seen as lower life forms that don't deserve respect, and to sleep with one is seen as disgusting. IMPS are treated like walking garbage, and they get thrown around like garbage or used as sex objects, which seems to be something that Royalty takes advantage of. Proof? Stolas x Blitz. Fizz x Asmodeus. IMPS is also seen as an enslaved group or severely impoverished group. Ok, that seems interesting enough. Being your own boss is the only way to get ahead as an IMP. Hence, Crim's mafia group thing, Fizz's robot line and Blitz's assassination business, or spend the rest of your life serving your demon overlords, which would be Striker's case.
I wouldn't have an issue with this if it weren't for the fact that being an IMP is often used as an excuse for the show to be racist and to allow more powerful demons to exercise their racism on IMPS without the show showing why that's bad. Stella and Andrelphas throw their IMP servants around like garbage for laughs.
Now back to my previous point on Stolas raping Blitz and why I think it's rape. Stolas rapes Blitz and only wants to fuck him for being an IMP. That's it. His insane obsession with IMP ass is so extreme that he is willing to destroy his marriage over it and neglect his daughter emotionally. (Stolas having a crush on his rape victim doesn't mean fuck all to me) Stolas fetishizes Blitz and calls him his "Little IMP", "Impish little baby", and he calls Blitz's group, "Tiny creatures." Proving that Stolas doesn't see IMPS as real people but creatures for him to play with and rape. It's brutal when I say it like that, but Stolas is fucking raping Blitz.
Now I don't know if the authors have some image of what rape looks like already and they think this doesn't fall under being rape, but I can assure you, it's rape when one party holds power over other without consent and sex is forced upon them. In this case, it would be exchange rape, because Blitz is exchanging his body for the Grimoire to keep his business alive.
Stolas pressured Blitz into sex using guilt tactics, Blitz pity fucks him and Blitz needs Stolas Grimoire to do his job. Stolas knows full well that Blitz needs the Grimoire so he holds it over Blitz's head. What's scarier about this, is that Blitz can't back down, he can't say no, not without losing the Grimoire and Stolas being a powerful demon, he could kill Blitz if he wanted to, making the power dynamic between them, EXTREMELY unbalanced. ON TOP OF THE RACISIM AND CLASSISIM THAT STOLAS SUBJECTS BLITZ TO EVERY FUCKING TIME HE SEES HIM- Stolas is a disgusting rapist bigot and I would be down to see where this insanity goes if the show was self aware enough to say that Stolas is a disgusting piece of shit and wrote him to be a villain instead, but NOPE- let's make him a sad gay owl man that hates his wife. Fucking die Stolas.
Now before you say, "But what about the date and the thing with Asmodeus?" That was a slap to the wrist for Stolas and he was too much of a pussy to admit he sees Blitz as a "plaything." Also, Blitz barely got away from Stolas. He says he didn't want to fuck Stolas, but Stolas kept asking him for sex. I think the only reason why Stolas let Blitz leave is because he caught feelings for Blitz and that's why he let him go, he felt pity, or he felt sorry for himself. That's a new level of twisted, but it would make sense, because Stolas has no concept of what true love is (because he has no mother figure, his father is emotionally neglectful and he had an arranged marriage) and it wouldn't be shocking that Stolas has become infatuated with Blitz. That doesn't change that he systematically raped Blitz and no amount of attraction is going to change that. This thing they have is not a relationship and it amazes me and scares me that people think this is a "relationship" when it's far from it. This is abuse packaged with racism on top of it.
Don't get me started with the writing of the female characters. The show tries so hard to make Stolas a sympathetic character, that it's pathetic. I was admittedly a bit sorry for him because of how shitty Stella is, until I sat back and thought about the "relationship" he has with Blitz and I realized that the show manipulated me into feeling sorry for Stolas, who is FUCKING raping Blitz. WHO ABUSES BLITZ FOR HIS SICK FANTASY, WHO OBLITERATED BLITZ INTO THINKING THAT BLITZ IS NOT WORTH ANYTHING MORE THAN JUST A SEX OBJECT- *Facepalming.* Blitz is an abuser in his own way and he's an asshole, but Blitz does not deserve this.
Why the fuck would Stolas be shocked that Blitz wants nothing to do with him?
Before I hear you fuckers say that this is hell and these are just demons. That is no excuse to glorify abuse, rape, sexual assault, racism and classism.
And that's what happened here. Viv is too immature to handle these kind of themes let alone write them, because she would have to be self aware enough to understand that this kind of subject matter can negatively impact the audience if handled poorly and that's what's happened. I wouldn't make this post if I thought Viv could handle these kind of themes in her stories masterfully and tactfully. Yes, you can't please everyone, but that's not the issue here. The issue here is that Viv can't write a proper and consistent character arc, a 3 act properly and even get the tone right in her episodes, on top of tackling heavy and dark themes like racism, classism, rape and sexual assault properly. She struggles to make rounded characters without having to make them extremely damaged, traumatized or complete psychopaths (there's exceptions but those characters do not get explored enough or developed) and her existing characters do not suffer any consequences or conflict from their issues, because Viv is terrified of plot inconvenience, character growth and actually having to fucking write something interesting for once.
Overall, I think this right here is the biggest, more severe issue that Hazbin Hotel and Hellvaboss suffer from. There are still more issues I have to cover, but this is basically my biggest issue with Viv's writing.
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stem-sister-scuffle · 1 month
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STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 2 MASHUP 8
Raphella La Cognizi (The Mechanisms) vs Entrapta Princess of Dryl (Netflix She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)
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Raphella La Cognizi is an... Everything Scientist! (people said "all sciences"... also she loves magnets)
Entrapta Princess of Dryl is a Roboticist, Programmer and First Ones' Tech Historian/Archaeologist!
Why you should vote for each contestant:
Raphella La Cognizi:
"All of them, probably, focused on chemistry and biology if I had to guess. She's the science officer of the Mechanisms, a band of immortal space pirates. They regularly blow up planets for fun. Raphaella designs them better bombs, tortures poor captives, tortures and vivisects her crewmates, etc. I love her also"
"it's unclear--she's a mad scientist archetype more than anything! she does, however, really like magnets. she's an immortal space pirate. she possibly made herself immortal. she's autistic To me. i love her so much. as cruel and brutal as she is... science!"
"everything? the more unethical the better, although she does really like magnets. Immortal space pirate! so she's got all the time in the universe to do science. until she dies, of course, which happens when (spoilers) she decides to fly beyond the event horizon of a black hole to find out what's on the other side. She's the science officer on her starship, which is just a badass job in general, and she's got WINGS. the wings are mechanical and the reason she's immortal. we don't know for certain if she was born with wings and they were replaced, or if she just went "wings sound fun!" and built some, or much of anything about her backstory. But! speculation is rife and there is a nonzero chance she's immortal because she experimented on herself, which is fun. Also she's just *really pretty*, ok, and has the voice of an angel. She is as cruel and brutal as she is science."
"shes immortal she has time to do all the sciences. well. she does die after like 10 millennia but even that is a final science project! she throws herself into a black hole, maybe to die, maybe to learn something new :) your honor i love her"
"SHES IMMORTAL SHES A MURDERER SHE DOES EXPERIMENTS ON HER IMMORTAL CREWMATES SHE LIKES MAGNETS SHES ***GAY*** shes my beloved"
Entrapta Princess of Dryl:
"She builds robots!!! She's curious and inquisitive!! She loves her robots!! She has the coolest hair and also I want to be her bestie. She's an absolute love"
"autism :)"
"Builds robots and computers for fun and companionship. Can take apart and understand almost any tech she is presented with. Autism lever set to max and I love her. Mandatory boob window in all her outfits and I've never related harder to a character."
"autistic icon, amazing inventor and app round excellent character"
"she has prehensile hair it’s literally the best thing i’ve ever seen in my life, it’s never once acknowledged by any of the characters as abnormal or explained in any way i’m literally obsessed with it. also autism queen"
"PIGTAILS!!!! autism"
"Entrapta is very bubbly and positive. She never lets anything like losing her friends or going to the bad side or getting put on a death-sentence island stop her from scientific pursuits! She actually drives a lot of the conflict in the story, as she explains the technological backstory of the world, and helps both sides be better at fighting. She loves data, doing experiments, and the scientific method. She's also in love with space. She is an autistic queen <3"
"phenomenal canon autism representation without being weird & shitty. also she’s so strange & wonderful & relatable in so so many ways. my computer is named Darla bc that’s what she named the AI for the spaceship in s5"
"She is THE science queen because she loves science so much and her love of it is INFECTIOUS. I don’t know anything about science but Entrapta makes it seem like the coolest thing in the universe. I love her"
"She ourple. I luv her"
"She's so passionate about her work. Takes through notes! Figured out how to hack her home planet!!! She's autistic as hell and I like her overalls."
"You won’t get autism like this anywhere else bestie"
"amoral mad scientist who flips between the good guys and bad guys, loves building so many inventions, ends up converting the head bad guy (for most of the series) to good through the power of love"
"She has outfitted her entire castle to be a maze, and installed electronic locks on some. Her staff seems to be mostly robots she has built herself. In good part reverse engineering or adapting ancient tech found on the planet. She's incredible at what she does and personally fixes, invents and builds a wide range of stuff from space ships to portals to a prosthetic exoskeleton to trackers to war machines. She can do it all. Autism win! Girlie has been criticised for being treated childlike or being unable to understand those around her to a ridiculous degree, but I'm honestly just glad she's not a Sheldon Cooper. Her favorite bots have personalities and therefore implied AI (but not the shitty kind), which means she's pretty fucking good at software too. She likes tiny foods."
"So very autistic about technology. Initially believes robots are way better than people, eventually makes human friends but also very much still has robot friends (I love Emily so much). Gets so excited about finding new First One's tech. Also her happy spinning around in a space suit in that one season 5 episode heals my heart every time I watch it"
"She's the planet's leading expert on ancient tech (sci-fi/fantasy universe) and develops most of the tech in the show and is very autistic about it. i love her"
"She is fun and funky. Chaotic neutral. Definitely some autism coding going on, which is very charming. She has a pet robot? It is cute"
"Bc she is ENTRAPTA!! No srsly she is such a well-written character. At times kinda morally grey but always lovable and great and she is truly amazing at what she does!! I'm pretty sure she's already been submitted but I wanted to make sure :)"
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Honestly how do you think the sexually active characters like Angel Dust, Verosika, Valentino, Stolas would react to their lover not really caring about the sex they have but rather their relationship as lovers (Also I love your work and im not saying that to be nice your work speaks for itself, good job you earned those thousand followers)
Their reaction to an S/O that cares more about romance then Sex
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Angel Dust
He was... kind of unnerved.
The idea of you wanting to be with him just for him, was kinda terrifying.
What If you got past all the glitz and glamour, All the manicured furr and fluff, and sex appeal and found... someone you didn't love.
And took a long, long time to get through that insecurity. Angel taking a lot of comforting and assurance that you, in fact, loved him for him. Not just for what he could do in the bedroom.
Honestly, when he realised as much. That you truly loved him for him and not his sexual prowess. He'd Probably break down crying.
I imagine the spider clinging to you, just bawling his eyes out. The spider clinging to you, desperately not wanting you to leave him.
He would become very protective of you, the spider finally finding someone who genuinely loved him, and was determined to keep you.
So if another bitch so much as looked at you, hed be in there face. Making sure everyone in a three block radius knows you belong to him.
Angel would tell he could be honest with you. The spider exposing his more sensitive side, allowing himself to be vulnerable with you.
The spider confided in you, able to trust you with his secrets and traumas, and there were many.
And while your relationship was not based around sex, something that made Angel smile every time he thought about it. Angel still very much enjoyed Sex.
He was a very physical person, and knowing that you didn't just love his physicality, well, that only made him more physical, specifically with you.
And every time you asked if he really wanted to do it, or if he was enjoying it, it only made him live you more, the spider feeling safe when with you.
Verosika
Verosika was, well, she is, A sex demon.
The woman was a Succubus. The most lustful, lewd and perverted beings in hell, only rivalled by Incubus and Asmodeus, obviously.
So being in a relationship with someone who wasn't really interested in sex, it was strange.
Alien really. At least for her.
She'd never met anyone who wasn't interested in her for her body. I mean, sure she'd met a lot of gay dudes and straight women, although women were a lot like spaghetti around her.
Straight until wet.
She loved that joke, and initially, when you'd asked her out, taking her to a fairly nice restaurant, she was expecting more of the same.
But out on the date and well, you spoke.
Not chit-chat, or make small talk, you actually spoke to one and other.
You told stories, spoke about your week and had a genuine conversation. It was odd for her, as the most sophisticated conversation she'd usually have was with her entourage, either about her latest escapade, or her next performance.
But she found herself actually speaking to you, telling you about things shed never really told anyone about, mostly because no one had ever asked.
Youd have a lovely meal, still chatting, before you'd walk her home. And well, you just give her a kiss, promising to do it again some time.
That had left a weird feeling in her gut, as on one hand she had really wanted to sleep with you. But on the other, she really loved that you didn't just fuck on the first date.
And you would go on another date, the two of you seeing a movie.
It was a simple rom-com, the theatre practically empty, the two of you quickly getting bored, and when Verosika asked if maybe, you'd like to "have a little fun" *Wink Wink*
Youd just politely refused, instead asking about her week. The girl once again, was taken off guard, but happily ranted about her week, the two of you having another lovely conversation.
Youd again walked her home, but this time she'd invite you in for coffee.
She had intended on seducing you, but ended up just spending your time talking again, it getting so late, she offered for you to stay over.
And while she had slunk into bed, intent on doing dirty things, she would end up dozing off curled into your side.
Youd continue on a very romantic relationship, the woman pleasantly surprised by your rather seamless relationship, the woman feeling like what you had was real.
It wasn't just a sex filled fling. It was a tender, loving and intimate romance something she admittedly took some time to get used to, but it wasn't long until she loved you as much as she knew you loved her, the woman surprisingly happy not having to have sex to keep your relationship alive.
Thats not to say you didn't have sex, because you absolutely did.
Valentino
Youd meet in a club, the two of you striking up a conversation.
He was honestly caught up by your rather charming conversational skills. You were quite the conversationalist, the Overlord quite intrigued by you, finding himself wanting to speak to you further.
Eventually he'd invite you up to his place, you happily joining him.
Youd go up to his penthouse, the Overlord proudly giving you a tour of his fancy penthouse.
You'd end up in the kitchen, the Overlord genuinely stumped at how he ended up with a cup of coffee in his hand, the two of you talking at his table.
He was surprised at how comfortable he was with you. The Overlord telling you about his day to day, ranting about all the shit he has to deal with on a daily bases with surprising ease, the man finding himself very comfortable with you.
He'd eventually ask you out, you happily accepting.
He'd take you out to a fine meal at only the finest of restaurants, the two of you having a wonderful night out.
You would talk, eat delicious food and drink even finer spirits. Afterwards you would go back to his place, and well, you'd make sweet, sweet love.
You continue seeing each other for the next few months, going out on several more dates, your relationship getting closer and closer, the man amazed at how little sex you had.
It wasn't so much the absence of sex, hed dated flinty of fridget bitched, but his reaction. He didn't mind it. Not one bit.
The man found himself loving your relationship, even though he usually despised serious relationship, instead preferring it loose and fast, bit with you, he loved your relationship.
The man felt as though your relationship actually meant something, you never all to Interested in his glamorous lifestyle.
In fact, you spent almost all time together... he dare say, being traditionally romantic and shit.
Youd go on simple, but romantic dates, and you spent great lengths just speaking, the man shocked to find how much he just needed to say shit, venting about his day.
And of course, he'd spoil you, treating you to every luxury at his disposal.
But he didn't need to. And that's what he loved about you. You enjoyed your time together just... by being together.
Stolas
Stolas was the apology of a lovable owl.
Your first meeting was very fumbly. You'd be at a royal gathering, you managing to stumble your way in, ending up at a table enjoying the free wine.
That's when you'd see the owl, the man just sitting there, staring at his drink.
Seeing him like that, you'd strike up a conversation. And while initially taken aback, the man would quickly engage in conversation, the man happily chatting with you, especially when you seemed to genuinely engage with him.
Youd talk, laugh, exchange stories and just generally enjoyed the conversation. The owl finding himself genuinely caught up in your conversation, greatly enjoying your company.
But, as they tend to do, all good things come to an end. The two of you prepared to go your separate ways as the party began to disperse.
But on an impulse decision, Stolas would ask if he could see you again. You, a little caught off guard, agreed, telling him a time and place, the owl eagerly agreeing.
It'd be a few days later when you had your first 'date', the two of you meeting up at a coffee shop, the two of you finding a booth and before chatting.
Youd had a very genuine back and forth, you asking about life as an Goetia. And of course he put up a brave face, you could tell he was putting up a brave face, it not taking a lot of pushing before he broke down a little, telling you how difficult and stressful his life was.
All the petty BS he went through every day before lunch. It could get so bad, he felt like tearing his hair out.
Hearing this, and wanting to help the poor man, you'd decide he needed to unwind.
And you would unwind by taking him out clubbing. Now your first step was a change of clothes, you getting a mismatch of what he so humbly called "peasant garb", the owl almost unrecognisable in a mismatch outfit.
Youd go to a club. You'd drink, you'd dance, Stolas being absolutely free to be himself. And he would go ape.
By the end of the night, the Owl would be totally exhausted, and loved it. The owl grabbing you and giving you a big kiss, the man thanking you.
Youd welcome the man, before kissing him back, the two of you spending the night together.
That would mark the beginning of your relationship. And a romantic relationship it was.
Your relationship was very much based on romance, you and your owl absolutely loving each other.
Youd meet up a few times a week, usually at a bar or Cafe, the two of you spending hours upon hours just speaking.
Youd listen as he ranted about his day, or lamented on an aspect of his life. You happy to listen or give advice, explaining it from your perspective.
And while these conversations were all good, your bonding time really came when you went out.
Now granted, you had to be subtle about it, but you'd often go out together, usually with Stolas in more "peasant garb". Not wanting to get attention in his royal garb.
You went to parks, to movies, Stolas especially like bargain shopping. Going through used and obviously stolen goods, you'd often have contests on who could find the weirdest things, Stolas somehow winning most of the time. The man usually keeping the strange item as a memento.
You had such a romantic relationship, the two of you opening up on a very intimate level.
The man found a confidant in you, the man venting, opening up to you about his deepest darkest secrets.
The man confiding in you about his forced marriage, or his abysmal relationship with his father, big shocker from a noble I know. Or how Octavia was the only truly good thing in his life.
If Stolas prayed to anyone, you'd be the answer to those prays.
Youd be exactly what the man needed, allowing him some much needed intimacy, the man absolutely adoring his time with you.
And of course, you'd have sex. But your sex was always tender, loving and deeply intimate.
Youd truly, make love.
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