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dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram · 11 months

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An unpopular take, maybe, but I simply don't find the Matty Healy / Taylor Swift discourse interesting or useful. I get the critique that modern political culture overvalues speech acts (a very trenchant critique I've heard in the past is that now people believe posting on the internet is activism), I get Matty's meta critique of consumption in the internet era, I get the ironic humor of The Adam Friedland Show podcast, I don't think Matty is vile or antisemitic or racist or whatever. I just, personally, find the way that those critiques are made and who they're turned on to be so navel-gazing. If you strip away the layers of meta commentary and irony, I feel like you just wind up in a place where you're saying, oh, the problem is that these people in marginalized communities who didn't understand that my statements were made in the context of an ironic meta commentary on performance of values on the internet are terminally online and got too upset on the internet. And like, honestly? sure. true to a certain extent. People have certainly gone way overboard in their responses to these things. But in the broader context of our current political state, it feels like it's just contributing to the Left once again eating itself, unable to distinguish between an imperfect ally and an enemy. Is the problem really terminally online teenagers who wrote a cringey, boundary-less open letter to Taylor Swift? Is that what we want to spend our time and mental energy calling attention to and critiquing? Or is that mostly just a problem for famous people who are slowly being driven crazy by having to see people constantly misunderstand them on the internet?

For what it's worth, my opinion is driven at least in part by my assumption that this attention and backlash is at least in part intentional. For as much as everyone has been talking about these two people, I guess not very many people have actually paid attention to what Matty Healy/The 1975 are currently doing, but they've been releasing a series of videos called "A theatrical performance of an intimate moment". In the second video in the series (ironically dropped the same day as the Taylor/Joe breakup news), Matty decides he wants to be transported in a suitcase to avoid attention (something Taylor Swift famously did) because the fame is getting to him, he doesn't want to be touched, and he "doesn't want any more bracelets that say that I'm gay", said while pointing to a bead bracelet that looks like the friendship bracelets that people are making for the Eras tour. And in a later episode, he specifically talks about needing to find a girlfriend. So, real relationship or not, it seems kind of clear to me that there is at least some level of performance/performance art occurring. I'm open to being happily surprised by whatever the point of this art turns out to be, but I'm not optimistic.

Lots of really interesting thoughts anon - and I think we come from slightly different perspectives, but I'll try and tease some of the points out.

I loved your summary - I don't quite agree, but it makes it very easy to discuss. You think these sort of discussions boil down to people saying: "The problem is that these people in marginalized communities who didn't understand that my statements were made in the context of an ironic meta commentary on performance of values on the internet are terminally online and got too upset on the internet."

And I have two different thoughts about that - which address quite different aspects. The first is that I would always reject the idea that it's a problem that people don't get 'ironic humour'. There is nothing more tedious than people wanting to be edgy, but also wanting everyone to love them. I think people can and should have whatever reaction they want to the Adam Friedland Show (I listened and I fucking hated it - quite boring on top of everything else). But that in order to do useful politics and understand the world there has to be a gap between someone's personal reaction and someone's political analysis. That's what I find the Gary Younge article 'racism is a system of power not a series of gaffes' so useful at articulating.

The other point is that I don't think it's useful to characterise the fandom response as coming from 'marginalised communities'. Some of the people talking are from marginalised communities, but nowhere near the majority. And I think it's really important to push back against fandom's tendency to paint itself as a whole as marginalised in some way (this is a much bigger issue that I was talking quite a lot about with the Niall and fanfic debate).

I do think that part of the problem of this discussion (and why I find it interesting - even if I agree that there are very tedious elements) - is that there can be so many different views and assumptions that underlie where people end up that aren't articulate.

I really reject the idea that this is the left eating its own - or that it has to be. Partly that's because I see this as being much more about fandom and how fandom operates than about politics. But it's also because I think there are really basic answers to the question of how you distinguish between the enemy and an imperfect ally. It's incredibly important to both solidarity and coalition building that we are able to say 'I disagree with this argument' without that automatically meaning 'the person who is making it is bad and wrong'. Collapsing the two together is fundamentally unuseful - and ultimately individualising.

You ask both what the problem is and what the stakes are - which are great questions. I don't think fans without boundaries are a political problem (although there are many political elements). I absolutely wouldn't write about this or draw attention to it in any other space but a fandom one.

But I do think the stakes are much higher than you do. If I thought this discourse was only having an impact of Taylor Swift and Matty Healy then I wouldn't think it was worth talking about. One of my opinions that I haven't necessarily spelled out - is that it's really important within fandom to understand that the objects of fandom and what people think of hte objects of fandom are not that important. I sometimes do get annoyed/frustrated/upset with other people's views about 1D members, but I do try and make sure that I remind myself that it's OK that people disagree about celebrities.

If there are stakes in fandom behaviour, it's not about the implications for the objects of fandom, but the implications for the fans. And I guess one thing that I assume, is that people are unlikely to treat themselves, or the people around them more generously than they treat celebrities. That a culture that encourages polarised thinking and responding to polarised thinking by attempting to control others - has an impact on the people who are participate. Now that's not necessarily evidence based - it's just a vibe. But it's the reason that I do think the only useful response to this is to emphasise that this isn't the only way to navigate the world. And anything else is just talking about the issues because they're interesting.

But I do think it's worth saying that the idea that you get a say in who someone else dates is really fucked up and can have really fucked up implications for people who believe it. Not just because of how they might treat people - because the corollary is that other people get a say in who you date.

Having said all that - I won't go fully into the second point. I'll just say that one of the things that I find interesting about both Taylor and Matty Healy is that they're both very aware of their image, but it manifests itself in different ways (Taylor is very controlled, Matty Healy is much more chaotic, but often more meta). And on top of that I think in this circumstance what we're seeing is also influenced by the fact that we're all people as well as images - and being human is a pretty messy reality.

#Thanks for letting me know about the videos #I found them (and the timing)#really interesting

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amazon-me-bitches · 1 year

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Been watching too many creepy reddit stories and this happened..

Title: Dear Reddit... part 1? ((maybe, if I decide to make more.))

Pairing: platonic or romantic Analogical

warnings: fire/horror themed stuff but nothing too graphic

The real warning is idk how to do well thought out paragraph breaks so read at your own will.

Summery: Virgil and Logan go camping and their night doesn’t go as planned

Let me first start off by saying this happened quite a while ago. For some context I am a 20 year old male, gay if that matters. I'm a photographer by hobby but by no means a professional. I mostly specialized in taking nature pictures. lakes, animals trees stuff like that. A few summers back I got a weeks vacation off work and decided to go on a weekend camping trip with my friend Logan and take some pictures for my nature blog while we were there.

Logan was and still is a huge natural science nerd so he agreed. We could hang out, fish and do some hiking, I could take pictures and he had a great idea for a video where I filmed and he talked a little about some interesting nature facts he knew about. The day arrived and Logan picked me up in his jeep, I had packed light but remembered to bring some important stuff. A flashlight, food, water, tent, that sort of thing. Where we were going was completely remote. Logan said camping in a campground was for 'sissy's, lightweights and fat couch potatoes.' When I replied 'cool! so we should just head on over then?" he cuffed me in the side of the head playfully.

We got to the forest easy enough and set got our packs out of the car. Logan put on bug spray because he is smart and when he offered me some I declined because it makes my skin feel sticky and gross. well by the time we were about an hour into our hike I was already starting to regret my decision to forgo the bug repellant and we stopped to rest and so I could apply.

We were making small talk until we heard a laughter coming from somewhere, it sounded pretty far off and we paid it no mind at first. We were on a remote hiking trail but it was still not inconceivable that we might run into other hikers. We stayed there talking for a while and rehydrating before we heard the voices again and saw some other hikers rounding the corner. Presumably going back down the hill. It was two older men, redneck looking types. They were sporting camo pants and scraggly beards. They seemed to look us up and down which is fair being that I'm sure we looked pretty out of place. I dress pretty goth and was braving the summer heat still decked out in black and purple. Logan was almost constantly in a tie but I had managed to growl him down to wearing his 'I need space' shirt and a very light jean jacket.

They were still a few feet from us but when they noticed me noticing them they took that as an invitation to come talk to us. Shaking hands, because they outstretched theirs first, the man paused the shake letting go abruptly when he, I assume, noticed my rainbow pride flag smart watch wristband. He shared a look I couldn't decipher with his friend, tried to resume a neutral expression then began talking to us all friendly like again.

The conversation started off pretty normal they commented about the weather, the hike and asked if we go hiking often. Somewhere in the middle though their questions started to get a bit too personal. 'how long were we staying?' 'where were we thinking about setting up camp?' 'did we have more people coming or was it just the two of us?' I gave half truths and vague answers the whole way though and eventually excused ourselves...wanting to get as far away from the men as possible. They were nice enough but I just got a bad vibe. Luckily we seemed to be going in opposite ways.

We walked on for an hour stopping to take pictures of some local flora and even some fauna. Logan talks for the last twenty minutes of our hike about how that tree wasn't originally grown here and where they were grown before someone brought the species to America, as well as some other tree facts. Logans love language is getting to share facts and knowledge he knows. He is never condescending when explaining either. Just a nerdy, cool guy, over excited about things and wanting to share what he knows so others can hopefully share in his reverie. He is hands down one of the coolest people I know.

We reached our camping spot just in time, I volunteered to set up the tent while Logan got the fire going. Sometime later we were sitting out cooking some hotdogs and having a few beers, when suddenly I thought I heard something in the bushes, I am a bit of a worry wart. known in my friend group for having high anxiety. Logan polightly calls it 'Expressing an unhealthy amount of concern' he is such a nice dude. I shushed him and pointed to the bush but we didn't see anything emerge. I knew it wasn't that crazy to believe that something could be in it. we were in a dense forest after all. It didn't make anymore noise and I soon forgot about it.

When it was time to go to sleep for the night we let the fire get down to a few dying embers and crawled into the tent. It was a cold night and I would be lying to say Logan and I didn't somewhat cuddle up. About an hour after laying down he was asleep but I just couldn't relax for some reason. I had been camping plenty of times, having grown up in a rural area, sleeping in the woods wasn't new for me. I had just had an eerie feeling since meeting those guys that I just couldn't shake.

I was almost about to give in to sleep when I heard a stick crack a ways from the tent. then what sounded like slow deliberate footsteps. My mind was of course thinking mountain lion or something which was scary enough. but when something touched the zipper of the tent I shook Logan awake. He was groggy and grumpy at first but I instantly shushed him, pointing to the zipper.

"it moved" I whispered.

Logan wasn't having it. He grabbed a flashlight and reached down to open the door and see what or who was messing with us. I felt my blood run cold when he said it wouldn't open. He was moving the zipper but for some reason the other zipper was moving with it. Like they had been tied or locked together somehow. Effectively locking us in the tent. My breathing picked up and I instantly went into fight or flight mode. Logan and I both bring knives when we come out here so we grabbed those up for protection. We heard some more sounds and started yelling at whoever was out there. threatening them, if this was a prank it wasn't funny and that we had phones and would call the police. However they never answered our questions or responded in any way.

I heard a clacking of logs and sticks thrown together near the tent and then the drip drop of some kind of water hitting the tent. What the hell was going on? I am ashamed to say in the panic of it all I didn't put two and two together until I heard the flick of a bic and then smelled smoke. THEY WERE TRYING TO SET US ON FIRE IN OUR TENT! They beat feet away when the flames got too high and I found out real quick that 'water' on the tent was in fact gas. we were going up fast and the tent was filling with smoke. It burned the throat and eyes causing coughing fits for us both. They heat was too intense to try and escape though the side of our tent that was was burning, plus we didn't want to get melted plastic on us, that shit hurts! when we thought we heard them run away, we grabbed up what we could and I used my knife to start slashing at the tent wall opposite the flames even still some of the tent was melting against my knife blade.

We finally stumbled out and took a few deep breaths of fresh air. We didn't stick aroudn long though because we knew those guys might come back to look and see how their little murder plot was going. IF they weren't already watching us from some distance. We heard one more rustling from some distance away. That was more than enough for me, camera and knife in one hand and Logans hand in my other we booked it back the way we came. I have never ran so fast or so long in my life, I am only a little ashamed to admit that I threw up when we finally got back to the car. We of course started it up and drove to a gas station down the road before calling the police and the fire department but of course by the time they got all the way up there those men were long gone.

I have no proof it was the men we saw earlier that day but Lo and I both believe it was them. Nothing else makes sense. So to the homophobic potential murderers in the woods that day; I hope you died out there but more importantly you better hope we never meet again.

#analogical #sanders sides #be nice #I dont need any negative feedback #I am HYPERSENSITIVE #that being said if you like it you could comment nice things or like it.#virgil sanders #logan sanders

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hazzascul · 1 year

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This is my first post, and I may come of as strong, and straightforward but it's stuff which has been waiting a looooog time to get out.

So, I really wanted to address the situation or 1d, the reunion and Larry.

Sometimes, things are not as they seem.

And its so f*cking often that it seriously terrifies me. You never know what someone is going through or how your words may effect them.

This is in context of 1d,mainly Larry, mainly Harry.

Over the top, it looks so much like this is a perfect band, who are perfect frends in the real world, where they have all this fame and win all those awards. But do we ever think about how they feel? Personally, when I joined the fandom, I didn't. I desperately wanted them to get back together, because I felt like they owed it to us, coz they made a promise. But now, 3-4 years later, I'm not mad at them, I'm mad at me. Because it never occurred to me that maybe they didn't wanna do that!

Today, seeing who they are and how far all of them have come truly amazes me and makes me so proud.

Yeah, nobody's prefect, and perfect is boring. Your imperfections make you who you are.

Being as young as they were, especially Harry, I mean 16! F*cking h*ll, I'm 16! So I kind of understand his background, and his pov in what he did and why he did it. I feel like it's such a, crucial age to be growing up, I feel like everything that happens around me, influences and affects me. And him having all this fame and attention and everything, obviously it goes to your head, and changes who you are. I am a people pleaser, I don't like it when people are not satisfied with what I'm doing, and I'll do my best to please them, no matter how much time, effort and energy it takes.

I feel like Harry is kind of similar in that aspect. He was and is such a people pleaser and then suddenly one day he had a world to please! He had to impress people, and had this constant pressure of not fucking it up in front of thousands of people yk? And that's not f*cking easy! He makes it seem like it is.

I specifically hate management for what they did to hary and louis, obviously all the boys suffered, and maybe I'm biased cause I am a huge Larry girl, but still. It was so much like, there's 5 boys, who have no background, no identity, no idea of what it's like to be out in the world, no experience basically. And they took sm advantage of that. They shaped certain images of how the boys are and how they will or not do stuff according to how they want them to look like!

Harry was called a womanizer when he was 16! He was asked uncomfortable questions in interviews and even tho he laughed it off, it was very serious! He was constantly shown with women older than him, with huge ass age gaps, and we don't even know if those relationships are true, but it still paints a picture of him. They s*xualised him so much, to the point where it became normal to ask offending and personal questions casually in interviews.

You could Definitely see how the boys changed over the years, especially Larry. I'm a huge Larry, ngl, and they weren't allowed to show affection or be together or whatever, and louis had to maintain a fake relationship was so many years, I mean that relationship is faker than Kim k's ass, they had to do pr stunts, just to keep those rumors away about them being gay. I mean- Ofc how did they even have the audacity to shake hands or smile at each in public or sit next to each other?!

Its not wrong. Its who they are!

But I also feel like fandom did make a huge deal out of it, but that was natural, really.

Over the years, Harry most probably felt like he had to make people happy, and he probably made very irrational decisions. But everyone makes mistakes right? He was allowed too.

It's so many years after that now, and it still reflects in his actions and decisions. He is so much more private about stuff now, I don't think he was like that before, but now he is. And that's partly because he doesn't know what how people get affected or twist his words and make a big deal out of it.

After the pandemic tho, he finally looks happy, like he's finally figured out what he likes, and what he wants to do, and not care about what people think of his actions. Even tho all of their contracts are still on, and Modest! can still control them (honestly f*ck s*Mon cowbell, the parasite), it finally feels like they have all found themselves again. All of them look happy, although zayn and Liam are still struggling with stuff. Louis, Harry and Niall have come so far, have put out such good music and found themselves a safe place.

I right now seriously feel like being in 1d was like a traumatic past experience for them, from which they are finally moving on. Obviously, like all of the boys constantly say, all of us including them are glad that something so epic and unforgettable like 1d happened, but it is better left in the past.

I truly feel like forcing a reunion on them is gonna ruin things, because they have a past that they can't just forget about, they have to figure out so many things, and do so many things and achieve so much more because they deserve the world just like you do.

I know that all of us think that supporting them and encouraging Larry or the reunion and stuff is good and nice, but it can build up a lot of pressure guys. Seeing such a huge fanbase for Larry, people often question or directly consider or assume their s*xuality,which is neither fair nor nice.

Sometimes it's nice to back off and give them their space, and let them figure things out on their own, with their own time.

It can happen a lot sooner than you think and if it doesn't happen, don't be mad at them please, because they're doing what makes them happy, and you can't be selfish enough to take that away right?

They've come so far, and all of us are so proud and so happy for them, do we really wanna mess that up for them?

This is a very unpopular opinion guys, and I meant no offence to anyone, but s*Mon cowbell, he can die for all I care. Please don't mind the strong language.

Treat people and yourself with kindness, because you deserve it!

Don't be afraid to seek out to me!

All the love,

Kats ❤️

#musicians #harry styles #louis tomlinson #larry stylinson #1direction #liam payne #niall horan #zayn malik #toxic people #celebrities #tpwk #harry tpwk #1d reunion #one direction #music #industry #the truth

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dballzposting · 2 years

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Can u plz enlighten us with some of ur gohan and videl Truths they are my#favorite

O.M.G. BUT I HAVE NOTHING NEW THO.... I LOVE THEM AS WELL but I havent thought about them in a while ...!

Well I think that they are awesome. And I've already posted about how they're both fucked up and they can smell the blood on each other and they are the only ones for each other and so like I dont need to say all that again...

They agree on many things and they also have many many polite disagreements. For example they will read books and take totally different things from it ... and then they'll have polite discussions about it becasue they really value differing viewpoints.

What's more they really believe that a marriage is a partnership of equals, and maybe it's easy to think that it's the classic Wifey-Owns-Him thing, but Videl really believes that they should be equal so she makes a point OFTEN to get him to voice some goddamn opinion. Becasue Gohan is pretty passive and hes honestly comfortable taking the backseat often (depending on context) becasue it takes the stress of making decisions off of him. And so she makes him opine becasue she doesnt want to walk all over people.

She likes to sharply voice her set-in-stone opinions BUT they're not really set-in-stone becasue she loves to have discussions with you, and (depending on context) she doesnt want people to just buckle. She wants to express her strength of character without having to hold back and she wants people to meet her strength with enough of their own to not only handle it, but to generate some new energy and life from the exchange.

Pan was 100% an accident btw. We know this by the way that when Videl got pregnant she didnt want to tell Gohan straight away and she hid it for a while. If they were trying for a kid then she would have been like OH MEIN GOTT GOHAN well no she wouldnt say it like that shed be like GOHAN-KUN (she still calls him -kun even after theyre married) ("babygirl" is an easy and acceptable substitute) IT WORKED.

But she didnt say that so ........... They werent planning on having kids but they seemed pretty happy about it so it worked out. But they also didnt have any more. Becasue again they were not planning on it. And Pan was an accident.

BTW Gohan had a homoerotic moment with Shrapner in the locker room of high school once and he never says anything about it ever until one night he and Videl are watching a movie together and the movie ends and the credits are rolling and the room is completely dark save for the TV screen and they're both too comfy to get off of the couch and Gohan opens his mouth and begins rambling about that moment he had with Shrapner in the locker room.

And Videl is really into the fact that theyve known each other for like 5 years and they can still completely surprise each other. Videl has a bit of an interest in homoerotic moments btw. She doesnt know much about "gay theory" (as she calls it) (respectfully) (she learns more later it think... Like she starts reading books) (she already knows more than she thinks she knows though) (she assumes she doesnt know bc she assumes that she couldmt know so shes very dutifully keeping an open mind about her ignorance) (she knows some terms and labels tho) (that's going to come up later in this sentence get ready) but shes into homoerotic moments and the nature of it and shes had some attractive, fleeting moments with some women before and when pressed she'd consider herself "heteroflexible" and she'd offer her opinion on how bisexuality is a viable natural state for a human to be in.

Gohan doesnt know much abt all of that and even after years of he and his wife keeping each other's minds open and reading books and stuff, Gohan would still default to his mother's values when conversing with others becasue it's tried and true and easier. Whereas Videl develops sex-positive politics, with her own caps and strictness roping it into something unique to her. She believes in the individual's right to not only do what they want but to express it, make art of it, sing it to the world; but also she's with Gohan in that The Act Should Be Kept Behind Closed Doors and probably shouod not be discussed openly. But also she wants to introduce a woman into her and Gohan's marriage but that's probably never gonna happen...... MAYBE MY SAIYAN OC BULRUSH COULD GIVE THEM A HAND..? No... she is so not either of their types .. Plus that is just not the relationship I want them to have. I want Gohan and Videl to view her as barely-relevent family who lives within distance so that's why they know of each other but they're not close .. bulrush is an easy talker so the one time in 9 years that she visited she had lots to say .. But it was all sort of draining.

Oh and of course Gohan is okay with her cigar smoking becasue that's not going away. Hes not a fan of the scent but he manages to remain rigidly neutral about it for the rest of his life. One time she got into fun flavored cigars and he much preferred that. But it didnt last long.

And shes mostly OK with his Chuzzles addiction becasue it's not really an addition hes just really into spending hours every single day playing Chuzzles. They're in the car coming back from some place and Gohan does a goofy shudder and goes "Ooh! I gotta go home and get on the Chuzzles!" (How to refers to playing chuzzles) and then they drive home so that he can do that ...

Oh my GOD he LOVES Chuzzles SO MUCH UGHHHH. She wont touch the stuff because the few times he got her to play it felt like it might be a comeback of her old PacMan addiction and SHE'S TRYING TO MOVE ON FROM THAT ......

Thanks for asking. Anytime man

#dballz posting #dballz asks #long post

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self-proclaimed-best-blog · 5 months

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The fear.

The fear of being judged regardless of who you're with is actually crazy. I feel icky just talking about it here. I think I find strangers more comforting than my actual friends because they don't have an expectation of what my interests or personality will be. I could be anything.

But the moment something I'm secretly passionate about comes up in a conversation with some close pals I'm fucking doomed. It's over. Roll the credits already. Put me out of my misery. Because even if it's in positive context; I don't want them to know! WHY DO I WANT THEM TO KNOW???

I want them to know but I don't want them to have certain ideas of me. Ideas consisting of being uncool, or weird. I'm already pretty trashed on at school for being quiet but if I opened up about my interests I'd dig the hole deeper.

I have a mental list of things to say that make me appear awesome without letting them know much. But also trying to make them comfortable to bring those things up around me. I have a list of interests that are okay and not okay for me to share.

Actually, recently I told some of my closest friends for... just about a year now about my interest in a dumbass anime and.

I can't even fucking say it I feel gross.

This one ship in an anime that happened to be gay. And I've liked this anime since I was a little kid and read the mangas at the library. I've never told anyone though. (It was Card Captor Sakura. Sue me for being a boy who thinks magical girls are cool.) And I opened up about Yukito and Touya and how they had so much more potential and all the shit that could possibly be infodumped was definitely infodumped that day... and now I'm scared they think I'm some asian-gay fetishizing weirdo.

I'm pretty sure one of them might genuinely think that which just isn't true. It just so happens the only time I've ever really talked about shit like that was then. You guys don't know what animal it is until you uncover the whole skeleton, right? I was just starting to feel like opening up more too but I'm regressing. So much progress because of paranoia and one dumbass person who barely knows me out of the group. IT'S FUNNY ACTUALLY! NOBODY THERE KNOWS ME. I like them. I guess I trust them. But nobody takes time out of their day to show interest or get talk to me (Except that one person. Shoutout to her). Sure, I make them gifts for events and maybe it's my fault I'm so closed off and ask for nothing in return.

I actually just got over my agro habit of avoiding saying "I love you" to the people I care about the most. BUT I'VE REGRESSED YET AGAIN! This is why they left me bruh. It's so easy to say "I love you" to someone random because I don't mean it that much but when a person is the absolute best thing to ever happen to me: I'm suddenly dodging the three words like my life depends on it.

All because I'm worried to be vulnerable. I haven't talked about... REALLY talked about my interests for years. I always say "Oh, never heard of it." When they come up because I'm so horrified of people seeing me as me. I only want people to think I'm awesome, I'm cool, I make cool art, I make funny comics, and I'm just a great, laid back, chill guy.

But I'm none of those things. I'm some loser nerd who spends all day playing niche video games, watching anime, reading manga, skimming through wiki pages, listening to OST, binging Bobs Burgers, watching shitty 80's movies, sulking, stressing, talking to myself, barely eating and writing a really depressive blog.

I probably imagine and make up conversations more than I actually HAVE them. Horrible habit. I can honestly see why they ghosted my ass now. I'm a fucking loser.

I wish I was somebody else. I wish I was actually cool.

But I can't do shit but fake it until all these lame interests wash away as I get older. God, I hope it's soon.

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whyyamihereagain · 2 years

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Hi, I am the anon that asked people if they think Finn or Noah would say no to filming a kissing scene. I come from Twitter and saw a lot of discourse a couple months back when people were fighting homophones and anti bylers (or whatever you wanna call those people) when the whole “Byler rain kiss agenda” started.

I saw a post on Tumblr talking about something (I can’t remember) but it sparked this memory and formed this question. I wanted to see what other people thought about it here because there is some negativity surrounding the idea on Twitter due to people who don’t like Noah and anti-bylers. I’ve seen people say Finn wouldn’t kiss Noah because he’s “ugly”, or “weird”, or whatever gross things people like to say to excuse hating on him. I WOULD like to state though that I am NOT defending Noah when it comes to things he’s genuinely done wrong nor do I agree with spreading hate, but nonetheless, it seems he gets thrown into a lot of stupid drama. Firstly, I want to apologize if what I said was not worded we'll or was easy to misinterpret. I want to explain things with more context.

I DON’T think Finn or Noah would say no to a kissing scene BECAUSE it is gay. I even stated why I believe they wouldn't have a problem with it. I was just bringing up the question because of the discourse I’ve seen.

When I said “it seems Finn doesn't like kissing scenes” I was referring to kissing scenes in general NOT just the gay kissing scenes or the idea of gay kissing scenes. Finn seems a bit more private so this was an opinion and I stated it.

YES, he is an actor and he’s a damn good one. He has played romantic interests in shows/movies before, I’m aware of that. When there is romance in shows/movies showing the affection your character has toward another is possible to be shown through a kiss. That doesn’t mean someone necessarily likes filming kissing scenes when there are a ton of people around. This is not me saying Finn doesn’t platonically “like” his co-stars and filming scenes with them. I mean even Sadie and Caleb talked about how they reacted strongly to the idea of Lumax’s kissing scene and were nervous because of the cameras. This was just an opinion I formed from things Finn has said. Maybe he enjoys filming kissing scenes and I just haven’t seen him say it. Like idk?

I never brought up Millie, Milkvan, or the whole age discourse so I’m assuming this part doesn’t apply to me.

Maybe I am misinterpreting what YOU are saying, if so I apologize. But I do not take the first sentence to your final paragraph kindly since it seems you’re calling me homophobic. I’m queer myself and have worked hard over the years to accept myself and I’ve finally reached a spot where I’m 100% comfortable being who I am. I also don’t view the actors lowly the way you implied and don't appreciate being compared to a hater. I admire their talent and adore their personalities. It’s honestly Irritating to see people try to say otherwise.

The only “concern” I would have is a kissing scene not being filmed because of possible backlash. Here’s the thing, the writers don't give a fuck about what the GA or “fans” think about the choices they make to THEIR story. The Duffers have even expressed this. If that’s a gay storyline with Mike and Will being a main canon couple, that would be so awesome. If I was expressing “concern” it would be over the possibility of a gay character who has suffered a lot to have a crappily handled ending; not “concern” for two actors that haven't negatively expressed their feelings about being a possible canon gay couple considering it hasnt been FULLY talked about publicly because it would be part of S5’s plotline.

Hi! That post was not about you at all, and I’m sorry if it came out that way!

I did see your asks but to me it seemed like you saw other people talking about this and you were curious to see what tumblr thinks about it, not that this was actually your opinion.

But your asks did remind me of too many tweets I’ve been seeing lately about how uncomfortable they would be kissing each other and that Noah is a minor so it wouldn’t be okay for him to kiss another guy on screen. Tumblr hasn’t been that bad but there have been a few people ‘concerned’ about Noah’s age here too and that made me too angry not to say anything

I think we were pretty much thinking about the same people when we brought this issue up lol

(And sorry again for being too vague, but it wasn’t my intention to make it about you at all)

#byler

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maxxxines · 3 years

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"The movie is very much supposed to play into everyone’s memory of that best friend that maybe they should have kissed.” - Autumn de Wilde

EMMA. (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

#maybe it was too easy to take things out of context and make it gay ms de wilde #austen #emma.#emma 2020 #austenedit #emmaedit #mine*#gifs*#film*#austen*#emma.*#**#100 #1k #5k #10k

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yjwhatif · 3 years

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With the semi/cryptic confirmation of Ed and Barts relationship in the series I have a question:

Do you think everyone knows about them (in world) or do you think they’re keeping it secret from some?

It’s just a thought that’s been in my head recently. It is most likely fuelled by the whole drama of G&B not being able to depict a “specific character” (it’s definitely Bart) as gay. They’ve had to hide the relationship from their audience - because of ridiculous reasons - but there are still moments that bring up the question - Are they? Before the reveals from AskGreg, I kinda thought- well they are clearly not together yet, but perhaps they both have feelings for one another and are just waiting for the other to make the next move because they’re nervous idiots who don’t want to have read the situation wrong — all while their friends are like - seriously guys? just get together already. Kinda like they did in s1 with Wally and Artemis - and I guess early Supermartian as well - which I would have been okay with... though with the likelihood of there being at least another two year time skip you’d probably have missed the getting together moment - which would kinda suck. Anyway. With the information about the chances being they were supposed to clearly be in a relationship throughout S3 — which makes the whole structuring of ILLUSIONS just make sense — it’s got me viewing their moments with a whole new energy. Also, I saw this post by Greg —

And let me just clarify, I have no idea if this is actually referencing the Ed and Bart stuff, it might not be (probably isn't). This is purely me speculating.

My reading of this is they got told they couldn’t depict Bart as gay pretty late on and that specifically affected ILLUSIONS where they likely intended to confirm the relationship with that first shot - the kiss on the cheek moment. Even now that moment is just odd - because it’s there but it’s not - because technically there is no actual kiss… which I think is absolutely the point. It plants the seed without actually breaking any rules - all by keeping the momentum but removing the specific kiss frame. It’s the only moment that I feel is explicit in saying they are in a relationship - everything else you can just read into and imply there’s something - but they technically don’t confirm anything.

The whole thing is actually quite interesting - despite the reasoning for it being totally ridiculous. By keeping/showing what they did... People notice it. People talk about it. People reflect on it. More people talk about it. People writing. Make. Create. Discuss it. An entire audience is formed who want and support it. It’s a whole thing now because people noticed it and generated a positive response to it - and that was before all the AskGreg information. The whole reason YJ got a season 3 is because the fans fought to get it back. Enough people talked about it - and kept talking about it - to convince TPTB that the show should come back. Greg and Brandon know this. They know the power the fans have and maybe they hoped that power would help them again in freeing Bart from these ridiculous restrictions. #letbartoutofthecloset

Obviously, we can't know until S4 is released whether G&B got the permission to confirm Bart's sexuality the way they envisioned - but maybe the responses that came during the release of 3b were enough to convince TPTB that they were fighting a losing battle. But who knows, people in power can be very stubborn at times, so we will just have to see what we get. Fingers crossed they eased up though - and not just because of the Ed/Bart relationship (which I am obviously a fan of -- it's fine if not everyone is) - but because these restrictions on LGBTQ+ content shouldn't be a thing and need to stop -- there is just no validity in them.

Anyhow. despite their not being allowed to officially confirm the relationship, Greg's comment about Ed's having a boyfriend they can't name basically confirms the fact without technically breaking any rules again. Masterfully done Wiesman. With this, it implies the pair are in fact dating during S3 which brings us back to the original question... but who knows??

With the comments of Virgil during ILLUSIONS, it's easy to assume their friends do in fact know. They also seem to have no problem being close and interacting with one another whilst in the presence of others -- that is, except for one moment...

Ever since the first time I saw this episode (ELDER WISDOM) I have always found this moment strange - because Ed seems to get kinda awkward when Barry comes to check on Bart. (Or that's how I see it at least.) He realises Flash is standing there and immediately pulls his head down averting his gaze -- almost like he doesn't want to be seen by the elder. But why? Does Barry not know about the pair -- or maybe he doesn't know about Bart and Ed thinks their current closeness is too revealing -- who's to say Bart's even fully out to the world yet -- who's to say either of them are? We certainly don't since we weren't allowed to be shown. We can't know until we know - so until then we can play the speculation game while we wait.

Bart is certainly a bit of a secret keeper when it comes to being himself. I'm still convinced the Bart we see onscreen is merely his interpretation of what he thinks people expect from a speedster in this time. We saw 'real' Bart, he was snarky and cynical and nothing like the Bart we've had for the past two seasons. He said it himself - he's playing a character - and I don't think he knows how to break out of it - not while the possibility exists that it might hurt those he's grown to care about. Bart wants to be seen a certain way to avoid acknowledging the truth of the past - if people see him as happy and smiley, then no one will question him on things he doesn't want to talk about. The problem with that is you can't hide yourself forever - cracks begin to form and eventually, the truth comes out whether you want it to or not. So who knows how comfortable Bart is revealing any of his true self to those he cares about. Maybe his relationship with Ed will be the thing that finally helps him find comfort in being himself, whilst also trusting others to still accept him as himself... and maybe getting him that bit of therapy he really needs.

This brings us to Eduardo… First, can I just say it made me so happy to see Greg’s confirmation of Ed being gay - though it is slightly annoying that he was robbed of his explicit onscreen reveal in S3 thanks to the drama with Bart. His whole relationship to his powers in S2 to S3 fits the representation of coming to terms with your sexuality/identity from a very negative point of view. Feeling like it’s something that needs fixing or needs to be “cured” - to then finding the light and freedom in accepting yourself for you. His growth between seasons is brilliant. He understands the hate and insecurity the teens are feeling because he felt it himself. He does all he can to help them because he never felt he got that help when he needed it - and no one deserves to feel worse for being who they are. Obviously, the things he talks about are framed in the context of dealing with/accepting the meta-gene - yet there are certain moments where it seems he’s saying more than that…

All of which got me wondering - why did Ed originally runaway? It certainly wasn’t because of the meta-abilities he did not yet have. All he’s ever said on the subject was he thought he wanted to be with his father - the man it seems he barely had a relationship with. No, I think Ed has been running from himself for a long time and his dad just happened to be an actual direction for him to aim for. The way he speaks about his wanting to be “cured” and “praying to get rid of his powers” suggests an upbringing around religion and traditional ideas of there being a ‘normal/proper’ way to be — while anything that doesn’t fit that way is treated as other or something that needs to be changed or 'fixed'. Maybe he ran to avoid being found out and run the risk of being ostracised by those he loved. Or maybe he was found out and leaving wasn’t entirely his choice*. If this was the case, I can certainly imagine him not wanting to come out to his dad for fear of his reaction and completely losing all chance of that father-son relationship they’re both trying so hard to keep. It can seem easier to live in secret than risk the reality of loss. So while the meta-gene likely wasn’t the main thing he was angry about in S2, it was able to become a physical thing he could blame and focus his anger on - without having to think about where his issues truly lied… Though with a bit of time it also became the thing he was comfortable conveying his feelings through...

“I’ve learned to accept, even love my meta-abilities”

I love this line so much and it’s all because of the delivery by Freddy Rodrigues. There is the slightest hint of a pause before he says “meta-abilities”, which gives the impression he was about to say something else before then remembering himself and who he was talking to. Then there’s the small inflecion he put on “love”, which makes it sound like it’s the first time he’s heard himself say the words out loud. I don’t hear him talking about the gene - I hear him talking about finally accepting himself - all of himself - for the first time in maybe ever and finally feeling happy because of it. I hear growth... From being the angry 14-year-old skater who just wanted to run away and escape any way he could. To the 16-year-old councillor/Outsider jumping straight into the danger to protect and inspire those who need it. Both he and Bart are such strong characters with so much more to be seen - especially when it comes to the insecurities which lie behind their masks. They both compliment each other pretty perfectly - both powers-wise and personality-wise - meaning while they try to hide themself from others, I don't think it'll take long for them to realise they can't hide from each other.

Anywho, that’s all the speculatary nonsense I’ve got for today. This turned into such a patchwork of vaguely linkable thoughts I’ve had which barely relate to the one I started with - but that is usually how it goes. Take it as you will…

Also, completely unrelated to YJ, but Bi Tim Drake now exists in dc canon which is really cool - seeing all of the joy it’s sparked has really given me something to smile about this week… There is hope after all. 🌈

— LB ⚡️☀️

* OK so here’s a little random snapshot into the chaos of my mind— as I was writing the Ed stuff I had a scene pop into my head of Ed finally -for whatever reason- having to tell his dad that he didn’t leave his abuelo’s home - he got kicked out. His dads confused about this and asks Why? What did you do? And Ed’s like Nothing… I didn’t do anything wrong… he just… found out something. So Seniors like Found out what Eduardo? And Ed’s getting really nervous now because he doesn’t want to say it - That I, um… I’m… Senior step a fraction closer as he picks up on Ed’s anxiety but remains an appropriate distance - Son? Then after a tensening silence he finally says it - sounding the most vulnerable he has ever been - I’m gay… The silence is there again, heavy and unnerving, neither saying a word. Ed can’t move as he’s lock in his elders unreadable glare. Expecting the worse his head drops to take in the floor - anything that isn’t the disappointment ahead - he feels the urge to disappear burning up inside him - consuming him. Then just as he’s about to escape he’s suddenly grounded by a steadying hand rooting itself on his shoulder. Tentatively he lifts his gaze to witness his father, there, with nothing but love and support in his eyes - Mijo. The clamping in his chest dissipates as all the tension escapes at once, along with the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Ed embraces his dad and the elder embraces his son. Together. A family.

Anyway. That’s probably a load of rubbish but hey my minds full of it… but basically I really want to see a tender moment between Ed and his dad. For whatever reason. Something where Ed’s in a vulnerable state and in need of some emotional support from his father - and without hesitation his father steps up - because that’s what we haven’t seen from them yet. It would perfectly portray the strength of their relationship as father and son - despite their previous struggles - and prove that Senior is willing to support his son no matter the situation as the father - not just the scientist. Its the final step in their healing journey and I wanna see it so bad!!

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telehxhtrash · 4 years

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A masterpost on Togashi’s gay subtext and why it’s intentional.

Hi ! After seeing so many posts about Togashi dropping subtext about Killua's possible romantic feelings for Gon, I thought it'd be a good idea to make a sort of "masterpost" with all the subtext that Togashi has included into his work.

I usually see a lot of people trying to say that HxH isn't about romance and that Togashi isn't interested in writing romance into the manga, but when you analyze all the subtext that's been going on the further Gon and Killua's relationship progresses, I think it's incorrect to say that Togashi has never hinted at the possibility of romance in HxH.

This is going to be a long post, enjoy your read!

Also, please note that I will only base this analysis on the manga, so there can be no mistake that "maybe this is just something the anime made gayer" : i want to prove that the subtext is 100% intentional on Togashi's part.

I'd also like to mention, although I will analyze it further after listing the subtext, that Togashi is a VERY smart man. There are always little details in the story and/or foreshadowing that are easily missed at first but when you notice them, it truly makes you understand how much attention and care Togashi puts into his work. There are countless details and symbolism that are analyzed daily through wonderful meta posts, from the main 4′s birthdays and their link to their character or the religious symbolism in Kurapika’s story arc.... Togashi loves to foreshadow and plant little details into his work, so when Togashi plants subtext, I'm sure he 100% knows that he's writing it, and it can't be seen as unintentional.

I'll also link all my references for this post at the end of it, so feel free to read all the additional textposts and content if you want to know more.

Well, let's get into it!

EDIT : i can’t believe this post is still being used as a reference it makes me so happy... thank you so much !!! i edited this to tweak it a bit because i wrote this a while ago and the phrasing seemed off to me, so if you’re reading or re-reading this post, hi, welcome to masterpost on gay subtext 2.0 !

GREED ISLAND ARC

Greed Island is to me the arc that lays down the nature of Killua and Gon's relationship. It's during this arc that we get to see a bit more of what Killua thinks, how he's lucky to have met Gon and that he feels really grateful. Gon’s behavior in this arc is also very affectionate, with him always reassuring Killua about his place next to him. While the scene where Killua thinks "You've got it backwards, Gon, I'm the one that's glad I met you." can't be considered as subtext, I think it's something that lets the reader know a bit more about how Killua feels towards Gon.

But other than this scene, which can clearly be dismissed as platonic, there are 2 more moments in the Greed Island arc that are layered in subtext.

• The Rainbow Diamond (chapter 151)

During their time in Dorias, Killua uses Risky Dice to gain cards from the slot machines. The first card that Killua gains is called "Rainbow Diamond", the description of the card being "A diamond that shines in a rainbow of colors. Propose with this diamond and she is guaranteed to say "yes"".

There are 3 different things we can take from this panel. First, the card is a marriage proposal card, so it's obviously romantic in nature. Second, the object is a RAINBOW diamond. And third, Killua, wanting to keep the card safe, gifts it to Gon.

In short, Togashi sat down at his desk, decided to draw Killua winning a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL CARD (it could've been any card, but Togashi CHOSE to make Killua win a marriage proposal card) that has a RAINBOW diamond on it and made Killua gift it to Gon.

While I personally don't think that subtext can be used to 100% ascert that Killua has romantic feelings for Gon, I think it's a funny little touch from Togashi, and I'm even gonna say a sort of hint towards how Killua's feelings for Gon are going to evolve in this arc and the next.

• “It has to be Killua” (chapter 166)

Now this is a scene that I've never seen anyone talk about, at least on Tumblr, but when I read a bit of analysis on it I was 100% convinced this was intentional subtext. I'm basically quoting here what this article explains, so if you want more detail, I recommend reading it.

As you probably recall, during their deadly dodgeball game against Razor, Killua decides to sacrifice his hands to ensure that Gon could use all his strength. When confronted about it, Killua insists that it's nothing, and Gon shocks him by saying that he knew all along that he was hurting himself for his sake.

Gon then says that it can only be Killua holding the ball, and that it has to be Killua, resulting in Killua being absolutely awestruck and embarassed. I'm also going to talk about the anime adaptation for this one, because it's perfectly executed and translates extremely well the nuance that the second sentence bears. If you want to rewatch it, this scene happens in episode 70. It's worth noting that in the anime, we see Killua not reacting to Gon's first sentence, but losing his composure entirely when Gon says the second sentence. But why ?

The reason was lost in translation. His exact words are "Booru wa Killua ga motte-kurenai to. Killua ja nakya dame nan da.". Both sentences basically say the same thing : It has to be Killua holding the ball. That second sentence can be translated literally as "If it's not Killua, that won't do." However, the second sentence, in a different context, can also be used to say a totally different thing.

While it's certain that Gon used this sentence in the context of the dodgeball match, the sentence "~ja nakya dame nan da" also serves as a confession of one's feelings in japanese. It's basically the equivalent to "you're the one for me". When you google the sentence, it turns up romantic songs, forum posts asking what it would translate to in English and posts on how to confess to someone.

The sentence basically drowns in romantic subtext. As mentioned before, Killua has no reaction to the first sentence "Booru wa Killua ga motte-kurenai to.", but loses his composure at the second one, and I think that was a very deliberate thing Togashi wanted to convey : this sentence has an additional layer, and clearly Killua is taking it to heart.

I will come back to this specific subtext in a bit, because we can parallel it with another subtext-y situation, so please keep it in mind for now.

CHIMERA ANT ARC

Now onto the sad gay arc! This arc is so RIDDLED in subtext and parallels that it's making me lose my mind.

• Gon, you are light. (chapter 199)

This scene is just... So romantic in nature. I’m not too objective on this, but I really do believe that this moment is the exact moment Killua fell in love with Gon and started to realize he felt a bit more than friendship towards him. It’s Killua respecting Gon for who he is, realizing that he’s light and he’s always been, he’s the one who saved him and who’s always been so bright and optimistic and always makes the best out of any situation. In this scene, Killua lets himself drown in Gon’s light, allows himself to feel this “wow” moment of pure admiration and love, and it’s absolutely beautiful.

It's extremely important to take the context of this scene into account. What happened is that Killua, who has been struggling mentally for the entire series with the fact that he's always running away, ran away once more, leaving Kite to die with Pitou. This ENTIRE chapter is literally adults absolutely DESTROYING Killua, first Kite's troupe bashing him for leaving Kite behind, and then Netero, Morel and Knov coming in like icing on the cake telling Killua that "After all, he's just a kid", and that he should hurry up to his mommy.

Killua is beating himself up for running away again, got destroyed by Kite's team and 3 extremely strong pro hunters. His morale is down in the drains right now. He expects Gon to be mad at him for betraying Kite, for running away once again, for leaving Kite to die alone and ripping Gon away from Kite : he expects that he'll lose Gon for his cowardice.

HOWEVER, the first thing that Gon says to Killua after having been passed out for god knows how many hours is "Thank you".

Gon woke up and instantly eased up all of Killua's fears : he wasn't a loser for running away, and Gon was actually thankful for him. Gon, at this moment, was the only one that showed kindness, understanding and gratefulness towards Killua. Gon even goes so far as saying that he knows that Kite isn't dead, and that they have to help him. At this instant, Gon is truly Killua's saving grace. He's the one that trusts him with his entire heart, and believes in his choices when even he can't believe in himself. Gon is truly Killua's light at this precise moment, because he was the only one who supported him, trusted him and reassured him in this awful situation.

How can someone shine so bright in such a terrible situation ? How can someone be so positive that nothing bad will happen ?

Gon asserting all of this makes Killua respect him a lot. Keep this word in mind, because it’s going to be important in the next piece of subtext I’m analyzing, because those two scenes canonically follow each other and are basically Togashi highlighting that something special happened when Killua called Gon his light, and that his feelings deepened.

• Introduction to Palm's character (chapter 200)

This piece of subtext is very very easy to miss but it's one of the most important subtext-y scene, because coupled with the “Gon, you are light” scene, it’s very clear that this dialogue is deliberately highlighting Killua’s feelings.

This chapter introduces Palm's character (which, imo, is a character introduced for the sole intent of being a catalyst to Killua's feelings towards Gon, but I'll talk about it in my post talking about the CAA parallels) - edit: i talked about this briefly here.

So, Killua having looked into Gon's eyes for like 10min straight and concluded that Gon was the light of his life a chapter ago, is now chilling with Gon as they meet Palm.

Palm takes them to a café and STRAIGHT OFF THE BAT harasses them about how much she's in love with Knov. Like when I say harassing, it's literally a whole page of her explaining her feelings towards Knov.

There are two interesting things that can be drawn from this interaction.

First, it's extremely easy to draw parallels between Palm's situation towards Knov and Killua's situation towards Gon. Palm starts by saying how amazing her master is, that she probably has special feelings for him but the most important thing is to respect the other person. Remember how I talked about how this last scene was Killua having a surge of deep, deep respect for Gon ? Palm makes sure to highlight that special word, that it’s important to respect someone when it comes to love.

She then goes on to say that she hasn't said anything to Knov, and never will. All of this adds nothing to the story, it's empty dialogue, Togashi could've introduced Palm in virtually any other way possible, but he chose to drag her and the gay duo to a café and make her have a monologue about love RIGHT after the extremely emotional panel of Killua declaring that Gon is his light just a chapter ago.

But there's more. Not only does Palm monologue for a while about love, but after finishing her monologue, this happens :

This panel features ONLY Palm and Killua, her looking at him like the psycho she is, and straight up telling him that "love can suddenly spark out of nowhere, don't you think so?".

What's so interesting about this is the fact that Togashi made the deliberate choice to have Palm say this to Killua and Killua ONLY, which after the gay existential crisis he had last chapter, can very much be applied to his situation. Love DID spark out of nowhere, and Togashi wants you to notice. Togashi could've made Palm say this to herself, with no distinct listener like the last panel, but he made the conscious choice to draw this panel with Palm adressing herself to Killua SPECIFICALLY.

Those two pieces of subtext, that fit perfectly together, make me believe 100% that Togashi knows what he's doing and he's not unintentionally planting gay subtext in his work. The fact that Togashi sat at his desk, drew Killua calling Gon his light, and then followed this scene with the introduction to a character who picks Killua apart to tell him that "love is something that just happens, don't you think?" is 100% proof that Togashi knows what he's doing.

• Date with Palm (chapters 217 and 218)

I think this situation has many layers, but many people still dismiss it as bro behavior so I'm gonna try my best to counter argue. First of all, and although that's not proof of anything, Killua looks EXTREMELY distressed by the prospect of Gon going on a date with Palm, but that can be counter-argued by saying that Killua is just worried because Palm is completely crazy.

What I want to talk about is the scene that happens right after, when Gon and Killua go to the gym (because theyre DUDES YEAH WE WORK OUT NO HOMO), and the conversation casually drifts to Killua asking Gon if he's ever been on a date before, valid question considering what just happened previously. There are multiple things here :

1) Killua seems distressed that Gon has been on dates before. While it can be argued that it's a normal reaction because Gon has and he hasn't, I believe that Killua - who is in no way a normal person who would get flustered about "not having been on dates before a certain age" - would not feel uncomfortable that his friend is more experienced than him - especially when literal seconds later, he monologues about how he doesn’t care about dates and just wants to stick with Gon.

2) Gon then proceeds to ask Killua if he's ever been on a date, to which Killua responds :

What I want to highlight is the panel where Killua says "And the truth is, I want to stay by your side... Always...". Basically, what Killua is saying, is that he doesn't care about dates, all he wants to do is be with Gon.

I don't think this can be counter-argued as bro behavior, but with all the subtext I've explained before, this right here is pretty gay. Togashi put this panel deliberately to show that Killua doesn't give a crap about dates when he can stay with Gon, and with the "gon you are light" scene and everything in mind, this is another intentional subtext.

There's also the fact that Killua stalks the date like a jealous girlfriend - but I'm not gonna count that as subtext because it can be argued that he's just worried about Gon because Palm is insane.

• Gon is my best friend ! (chapter 219)

Remember how I told you to keep the "It has to be Killua" subtext in mind because I was gonna come back to it later ? Well.

During Palm's date with Gon, Killua runs into Rammot, who would definitely have ran into Palm and nenless Gon. Killua is forced to confront his worst fear : this is the moment where he knows that if he runs away again, Gon WILL die. Killua is literally overcoming his "programming", the physical representation of years of abuse out of love and care for Gon. He's ripping out the needle from his forehead out of pure, genuine care for Gon, because if he doesn't, then he'll lose him forever.

Now, what I actually wanna talk about is this panel :

What we see is Killua thinking happy thoughts about all his adventures with Gon because he can't - won't - doesn't want to run away anymore, and all this for his sake. But what I wanna draw attention to is the dodgeball panel that's bigger than all the others, and the only one where you can actually clearly make out what's written : "Killua ja nakya dame nan da".

Now, isn't that interesting that the panel that takes a bigger place in the whole panel is the one with this particular sentence? Remember what I talked about a bit earlier, about how "~ ja nakya dame nan da" is a sentence with a lot of romantic connotations (would pretty much equal to "you're the one for me" in English). Clearly this particular sentence stuck with Killua.

I'm not completely objective on this matter since I firmly believe that at this point, Killua has romantic feelings for Gon, but I interpret this as another deliberate thing Togashi did : putting the panel bigger so we can see that it has a particularly significant importance to Killua, and Killua's state of mind right now (not wanting to lose Gon).

In my opinion, two things happened here: One, Killua remembers this specific interaction because he knows how much Gon trusts him and he doesn't want to betray his trust. But I also firmly believe that Killua remembered this specific interaction because of the romantic connotation the sentence "Killua ja nakya dame nan da" has. Those words clearly shocked him, and I think he remembers them in this life-threatening situation, after the "gon you are light" scene, Palm talking about "love just happens", the "i want to stay with you, always" because he realizes that he wishes Gon would say that sentence in a romantic context, and not in the context of the dodgeball match, thus leading him to surpass himself to prove his love and perhaps live to see the day where Gon could say those words in that romantic context.

Now, of course, all of this is my interpretation, so it's really up to debate, but I really wanna highlight the fact that Togashi deliberately CHOSE to highlight this particular interaction between Gon and Killua, this sentence with romantic subtext, to lead Killua to finally break his chains and be able to be protect Gon fully. It’s also interesting to note that the 2011 anime adaptation also makes it a point to emphasize how deep these words stuck to Killua by making it the last flashback that makes Killua effectively rip out the needle out of his head.

Also let's quickly mention the irony in the situation here : while Gon is on a romantic date, Killua fights to protect him, overcoming his weakness to prove his love. It’s not Palm who deserves that date, it’s Killua.

• A lovers’ suicide (chapter 286)

Now, onto the most important piece of subtext, that can not be counterargued as platonic in any way, shape or form. During the palace invasion, Killua leaves Gon's side, proceeds to go kick Youpi's butt only to have to fall back because he used up all his electricity nen. When Killua is charging up, he meets with Meleoron, and tells him that once he's done charging, he'll go back to Gon's side.

They briefly exchange information about the battle, and then Meleoron proceeds to ask Killua what's the plan for him and Gon. That's when Killua explains that "Once Gon is like this, he won't budge an inch. Worst case scenario, it'll be a double suicide.". At worst they both die, cool. They “go down in flames together”. It’s actually much, much more meaningful than that.

The specific word that Killua uses for double suicide is "心中" (shinjuu), which is a heavily romantically connotated word in japanese. Shinjuu, also translated as "lovers’ suicide", is when two people die out of love, by the same method, because there's a belief that this'll allow those two people to spend eternity together. Shinjuu is a major theme of Japanese literature, and it is always used romantically. It's a very uncommon word to use to refer to two people dying together, because of its heavy romantic connotation, and because it always refers to double suicide committed by people bound by love. In literature, it always refers to two lovers, in love. If you want to read more on shinjuu, i suggest this and this, those articles explain its historic roots and the definition, also emphasizing the feeling of "oneness" that characterizes shinjuu. If you’re interested, I also suggest reading the japanese article that defines shinjuu, and hitting the google translate button, it has some pretty interesting sentences like “Shinjuu is traditionally committed by men and women out of mutual love, in the hope that they will be connected in the afterlife because they can't be together in this world.”

So basically, what Killua is saying is that he wants to go back to Gon's side to die with him, committing a "lovers’ suicide" because he doesn't want to leave Gon to die alone, and wants to die with him.

I also want to emphasize how special this word is to Killua, and that he and everyone around him know the special meaning of this word - In chapter 300, Ikalgo literally says "We were... No, KILLUA was ready to commit shinjuu with Gon". Ikalgo is really highlighting the fact that this word holds special meaning, especially to Killua, and that it was HIM who was willing to commit shinjuu by staying with Gon. Ikalgo and company dying with Gon wouldn't be shinjuu, but Killua dying with Gon would be, and Togashi emphasizes this through Ikalgo's thoughts.

This is pretty much the gist of it, but I suggest reading the wonderful post I linked in the references below if you want to know more about this specific subtext.

(edit : i actually wrote a post going a bit more into detail on Killua’s shinjuu wish if you want to read it here ! :3)

• “The one that Gon needs the most is you” (chapter 294)

I will go into this subtext more in details when I write the post about parallels in CAA, but I still want to talk about it briefly here.

Like I said before, to me, Palm was introduced as a catalyst for Killua's feelings towards Gon. Togashi purposefully wrote Palm as having romantic feelings for Gon to foil Killua's feelings for Gon and make him show jealousy towards Palm.

To Killua, Palm is someone who stole Gon from him, he sees her as a threat because maybe she'll make Gon happier than he does ? (ofc we all know thats not true but Killua is baby) - Basically, Killua thinks Palm might be more important to Gon than Killua is, because he believes they are romantically involved. That's why when he sees her again later on, after Gon rejected his help, leaving Killua helpess as to how to save his dear friend, Killua sees Palm as a saving grace.

He knows that if Gon sees Palm as a chimera ant, he will spiral down even more, so he tries to reason with her to get her to be gentle to Gon, because if not her, then who could? Palm would clearly be able to comfort Gon, with whom Killua believes is romantically involved with, better than him, right ? If Gon rejected Killua, then clearly Palm could help, since she seems closer to Gon (BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THEYRE DATING), right?

This confrontation between Palm and Killua closely ressembles a situation like an ex confronting a new girlfriend - and I think this is exactly why Togashi wrote Palm this way. He wanted Killua to confront who he thought was a threat to their relationship, making him believe that this person who's """"dating"""” Gon is more important to him than himself, only to have her openly admit that she means nothing to Gon. The only one Gon needs is Killua.

And that, my friends, coming from someone you believe is romantically involved with your best friend (who you probably have a crush on), someone you're jealous of, the one you thought was the person most important to him, that's a pretty meaningful statement.

Basically, what's happening, is that Palm reaffirms that Gon holds Killua closer than a potential romantic partner. And that's why Killua is so, so happy to hear that. He was questioning his entire relationship, questioning if Gon even cared about him, because he rejected him a few minutes before, but then his "rival" comes in and reaffirms that even she knows that no one comes close to Killua to Gon.

I also want to mention that this act of pure love (Killua only thinking of saving Gon when in a life threatening situation) is what made Palm come back to her human senses. d'awwwwww

• Illumi and Hisoka’s parallel on lovers who die of Alluka’s requests. (chapter 323)

Now onto the final significant subtext - while I don't particularly think of it as subtext-y, I know a lot of people have so I still want to include it here.

When Illumi explains Alluka's powers to Hisoka, he explains that there are two different types of linked deaths when a request is failed : 1) the person who failed + the person they love the most 2) the person who failed + the people they spent most of their time with.

When applied to Killua, Hisoka naturally comes to the conclusion that no matter the outcome, Gon would always be the one dying with Killua, because he's spent so much time with him, and because he's the one that Killua loves the most. In the panel where Illumi explains this, we see a romantic, heterosexual couple demonstrating the effects of not completing one of Alluka's requests, and thus the "most important person dying".

While not making any true parallels, the fact that Hisoka, and the readers, are drawn to compare a heterosexual, romantic pairing to Killua dying with Gon because he's his "most important person" is an interesting piece of subtext.

_______

I want to finish by talking about Killua's birthday and how significant it is in my opinion. All the main 4 characters have birthdays that fall on specific dates, related to Japanese tradition, and often with events that can be associated to their character. Gon's is 5/5, which is Children's Day. Kurapika's is 4/4, the number 4 being considered an unlucky number, and this being an unlucky day to have a child. Leorio's is 3/3, Hinamatsuri (not really any main parallels here but still). But Killua's birthday is 7/7, and is the Japanese day to celebrate Tanabata.

If you are not familiar with Tanabata, the story is as follows : Orihime is a princess who works for her father, working hard and well, but she laments the fact that because of her hard work she can't meet someone and fall in love. Her father arranges for her to meet Hikoboshi, allowing Orihime to leave because he expects her to come back to work for him, but the two immediately fall in love and get married, and she never returns. I won't get into the rest of the story as it's this part that interests me the most, but if you want to read more about Killua and Tanabata I suggest reading the post I referenced below.

Does the story of Orihime remind you of anyone ? Killua also works for his father, but laments the fact that he can't go outside and meet someone. His father then lets him go, saying, and i quote: "he will come back, because he's my son". Doesn't this remind you of the tale of Tanabata ? Killua's story references the tale of Orihime perfectly, and I believe this is intentional : Killua's birthday isn't of any importance to the plot, so why make it Tanabata, a day that celebrates a love story that closely ressembles Killua's story ? The answer is simple : subtext.

With all this in mind, I think it's pretty clear that Togashi is writing intentional subtext to hint at Killua's feelings being romantic in nature. Togashi is a master writer, he has years of experience, and I strongly believe he knows what he's doing and not planting unintentional subtext. He's a very smart man, and knows how all of this can be interpreted.

I will finish by saying that Togashi is NOT an author that would deliberately queerbait his readers. So many people dismiss the possibility of having gay subtext leading onto an actual canon gay relationship because "it's not like the author would ever have gay main characters". While this holds true for a lot of manga authors, especially shonen manga authors, it does NOT apply to Togashi.

Togashi has always displayed interest in queer subjects and queer representation, putting trans characters in all of his major works (Miyuki in YYH, Mikihisa in Level E and Alluka in HxH). There were also canonically gay characters in his previous works : Itsuki in YYH, and a character named Kuramoto in Level E.

Togashi also always had interest in mangas having BL elements, citing Maya Mineo's "Patalliro!" as a manga he was attracted to during High School. If you're unfamiliar with Patalliro, the story focuses on the main character's love life as a gay man. He also admitted to basing Hiei's (YYH) design off a character from that manga.

Last but not least, Togashi mentioned in a note included in volume 1 of YYH that he wanted to write a sports manga, called The Trouble Quartet, where basically all the characters are gay. Togashi said he based it off his own interests as a writer, and that while it was refused by Shonen Jump, he got deeply attached to the project and that he would love to explore this project in a different shape once he made a name for himself. I suggest reading this post because the parallels between The Trouble Quartet and HxH are HILARIOUSLY accurate.

In short, Togashi has always had interest in queer matters, and was always interested in putting queer representation in his work. After YYH, which was a terrible experience for Togashi as a writer, he managed to snatch a contract that basically allows him to do whatever he wants with HxH. Having always held dear BL matters but never being able to explore it to his full intent, I believe Togashi is exploring queer identity further with HxH, because Shonen Jump basically lets him do anything.

To conclude, with Togashi's past experience and skill, his interest in queer representation, and the amount of subtext surrounding Killua, I honestly believe that Togashi is trying to explore further queer representation, and I wouldn't be surprised if HxH ends with Gon and Killua becoming a canon pairing, whether it be delivered in an ambiguous manner or not.

Edit : I actually wrote a post on why I believe it won’t be ambiguous, and that it’s truly never been ambiguous, just developing : here.

I hope you enjoyed the read, thank you for reading all of this, and feel free to show this to anyone who denies subtext in HxH !

REFERENCES

- "It has to be Killua" - Medium article, "Impossibilities in Translating Queerness : The Dodgeball Dilemma"

- Palm's Date Scene - Reddit post, "Togashi's love of Ambiguity: Chapters 217 and 218"

-A thematic analysis of Palm’s character : ”The Issue With Palm”

- Shinjuu - Tumblr post by hunterxhell, "A lovers' suicide, I guess." : + the post that mentions Ikalgo talking about shinjuu

- An analysis on different subtext-y situations

- Illumi and Hisoka’s parallel : here and here

- Killua’s birthday : "Killua, July 7th, and the significance of his birthdate”

- Togashi's interview mentioning Mineo's Patalliro

#hxh #hxh meta #hunter x hunter #killugon #meta #my posts #my meta

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everysongineverykey · 3 years

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I'M DONE. HERE. TAKE THESE CHAPTER 2 THOUGHTS AND RUN, BABY.

so i'll try to go in order here. uhhhh... there's a LOT i have to say. first: toriel giggling sprite my beloved

on that note, ALL THE NEW SUSIE SPRITES MY BELOVEDS

NOELLE YOU'RE SO GAY. I THINK THIS IS PROBABLY JUST BECAUSE I TOLD HER TO IN CHAPTER ONE BUT SHE GAVE SUSIE THE LUNCHBOX FULL OF CHALK!! I LOVE ITTTT

ralsei's, uh... kinda sus. the whole "recruiting" thing REALLY sketches me out. and he looks kinda... smug, all the time, like he knows what's going on.

LANCER JOINED! ROUXLS JOINED EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WANTED THAT! STARWALKER JOINED, TO EVERYONE'S JOY!

LIBRARY PORTALLLL

so before i entered the city there was that pre-city area? that looked very much like the city? except it had different music? and i thought they'd cut welcome to the city and i was SEVERELY disappointed. but then they didn't! just something i wanted to mention

NOELLE!!

throughout this game i went from despising berdly to feeling bad for him to not really liking him again, but not hating him as much as before. he'd better stay the fuck away from susie though

the queen is the best villain. she's the kind you love to hate! she's literally so funny AND her boss battle is actually tough (rip to the king but he just. wasn't a formidable enemy at all lol)

THE GANG CHARLIE BROWN DANCING TO WIN A FIGHT! SUSIE GAINING THE POWER TO ACT THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF WILL! SUSIE FORCING RALSEI TO LEARN TO ACT EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T WANT TO! THAT ENTIRE BATTLE WAS AMAZING! THE "BATTLE WON" END DANCING SEQUENCE! GOING INSANE GOING INSANE

the puzzles in this chapter were genuinely really impressive! i especially loved the word search puzzles and the ice-ee undertale word search reference💙

that being said. the mouse puzzles were SO fucking infuriating. i caused poor noelle a LOT of grief with those and i feel bad.

SPEAKING OF NOELLE!! the scene where she and kris are walking through the puzzle, the one that spells "december", and she's talking about when they were kids, how she loved sneaking out? beautiful. the cinnamon tography <3 also i guessed dess's full name was december a while ago and while i guess it was obvious, it's nice to have that confirmed!

also, i love that susie and ralsei are real friends in this chapter! he taught her a healing spell!!

ugh. fucking berdly. so smug and pretentious. i love queen's desire to be as far away from him as possible though

i also like his backstory. it gives his behavior, even if it's still annoying, at least some context. i get the feeling of feeling like if you're not smart, people will forget about you, and that's scary.

ALSO ALSO. GAMER BERDLY. LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT IS PERFECT. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GAMER!" "i only play mobile games, berdly." "NOOOOOO!" like i ADORE that

anyways. time for me to talk about the only thing that matters in this world: suselle. i mean, did the gays win in this chapter or DID THE GAYS WIN IN THIS CHAPTER?? THEY RODE A HEART-COVERED FERRIS WHEEL AND HAD A HEARTFELT, TENSION-FILLED CONVERSATION!

"did you ever wonder why the real susie never picked on you? well, maybe it's because... when you were both new to class, you lent her one of your pencils, like... maybe a dumb one with candy canes on it or something, and... even though it didn't actually taste like candy, she... remembered your smile." okay god thanks toby it's not like i needed my heart or anything

SERIOUSLY. TOBY "i'm gonna give the gays everything they want" FOX IS BACK WITH ANOTHER BANGER LADS

QUEEN'S BOSS BATTLE! ACTUALLY TOUGH, UNLIKE KING'S! AND GIGA QUEEN! I'M GOING INSANE THAT WAS SO SICK AND SO HARD

the way my heart BROKE when lancer turned to stone good god thank GOD our boy's okay

AND ROUXLS KAARD IN HIS PIRATE DUCK!! WITH HIS LITTLE HAT! DEMANDING THE QUEEN MAKE HIM BUTLER SUPREMETH! I LOVE HIM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF

also!! kris and ralsei's little moment on the swan boat💙 i wasn't a kralsei shipper before but uh... that may be starting to change

it's hard because ralsei's still suspicious but at the same time i love him and want him to be happy. i don't know how to feel

also, if darkners outside of their dark worlds turn to stone after a while, why didn't ralsei? that's, uhhh... VERY sus. very weird. mr fox i need ANSWERS

WE FINALLY HAVE A WAY TO SAVE AFTER WE'VE FINISHED MOST OF THE EPILOGUE LADS. REJOICE!!

seriously the thing that peeved me about ch1 was that the last save point was on the battle stage and if i wanted to play the epilogue again, i had to. do that entire battle all over. BUT NOW THAT'S BEEN FIXED!!

UNDYNE AND ALPHYS HAVE MET UNDYNE AND ALPHYS HAVE MET THIS IS NOT A DRILL UNDYNE GAVE HER A BOX OF CANDIES EVERYBODY SHUT UP THEY'RE IN LOVE ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

ALSO! NEAR THE BEGINNING! I FORGOT TO MENTION THE LITTLE WHITE DOG DOING DONUTS IN A TOY RACE CAR AND BACKING UP TRAFFIC! THANK YOU LITTLE WHITE DOG!

on that note: "looks like a car. this one has a man in it. he waves at you happily." AND THEN THE MAN'S GONE??? HEY TOBY???

ALSO. THE SEGMENT WHERE THE ANNOYING DOG HELPS US FIND THE KEY THROUGH THE POWER OF WANTON DESTRUCTION. THE BEST PLOT DEVICE!

TORIEL TEACHING SUSIE TO MAKE PIE STOP ITTTTT

and yes yes i KNOW kris slashed toriel's tires. that was extremely troubling. but THEY MADE PIE TOGETHER!!

"leave the chalk alone, kris" TORIEL!!

sans and toriel making egg puns and asgore running in and going "don't forget me, your eggs-husband!" is the FUNNIEST sitcom moment type thing ever. GOD.

on the other hand sans let me meet your brother god dammit i'll kill you

METTATONNNNNNN

RUDY... "who got you these flowers?" "is it weird for a married man to get flowers?" "so your wife did?" "oh, no! kris's dad did!" "...not even gonna try to understand this..." TOBY STOP ITTTT YOU'RE GIVING THE ASGORUDY SHIPPERS FALSE HOPE. YOU KNOW YOU'RE JUST GONNA KILL RUDY. YOU'RE JUST RUBBING SALT IN THE WOUND!

NUBERT! MY MAN!

seeing kris repeatedly they-themmed by multiple characters makes me so happy <3 poor kid... "college summer vacation when" "you opened the door with your eyes closed. you saw nothing" kris....

KRIS...

fucking. BLACK FOG STORM IN THE LIVING ROOM KRIS STOP IT. HOW'RE THEY GONNA REVEAL THIS WAS INNOCENT? THE KNIFE IN CHAPTER ONE WAS EASY BUT HOW WILL THEY EXPLAIN THIS

the staticy tv appearing in the dark and a toothy smile slowly fading into view in the center and lingering there ominously for far too long >>>>>>> every hollywood horror movie ever god. GOD

snowy and monster kid checking out the red door. implying there's something in there. something that kris knows about. knowing we won't get any more deltarune content for 5+ years does NOT fill me with determination

also. gaster's symbolic theme being mus_smile. and the final image in the game being a smile. god. gaster's COMING lads.

onionsan hears a song at night... a familiar song... memory, perhaps? or maybe a certain... four-note arpeggio that's hidden in a sound test room in undertale? who knows? guess we'll just have to wait for chapters 3/4/5.

this concludes my ramblings for now, but don't get it twisted- this is FAR from the last post i'll make about ch2. this whole chapter was absolutely amazing! brilliant! showstopping!! i'm genuinely soooo super impressed and excited for the chapter 3/4/5 bundle!!!

#deltarune spoilers #dr spoilers #deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune chapter 2 spoilers #dr chapter 2 spoilers #trying to get as many spoiler tags as possible!

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