#maybe its the depression?

[bamsara]

you know what i mean

#sara shush #doodles #maybe its executive dysfuntion maybe im unmedicated maybe its my chronic illness but i am having a hard time doing Anything #and im blaming hte weather #where are my clouds #pls may i have thunder #summer is genuinly doing the worse for depression

[judehatesmaths]

Stills from episode 8 (the last one omg) of fellow travelers!!!!

I have loved you my entire life;

My great, consuming love.

#fellow travelers #tim laughlin #hawk x tim #hawk fuller #hawkins fuller #fellow travelers spoilers #jonathan bailey #matt bomer #NO BUT ITS SO DEPRESSING #also i think this is like a gala? #maybe? #but im happy seeing them together IN PUBLIC #thats so big from hawk

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

He dies if you don't pay attention to him, its a very urgent situation for an uncle to attend to.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #jin ling #In the audio drama he's banging on the door and it cracks me up #i really wanted to draw jin ling banging on a window but I could not make it look right B*( #he exhibits such strong needy little dog vibes in this scene #scratching and banging at the door because its *Closed*!!!! how could you do this!!! aughhh!!! #i called him jiang cheng’s designer depression puppy before but this really proves it #this is the perfect and ideal form of a spoiled character. when he gets away beeing needy because he’s loved #JC’s threats are *so* empty. He’s the uncle who says ‘no more candy for today’ and caves after looking at JL’s wet eyes #‘hey op are you going to talk about the clown nose?’ okay sure. it was tucked into the fluff of the dog from the last comic #or maybe wwx just grows them every once in a while when he’s being a clowned on

[felsicveins]

Opening the asks again huh? Alright I’ll bite.

What’s your decision on Otto’s missing heart situation? Where is it? Does it exist? I want answers!

Not gone, just faded

#trolls #ask #trolls 3 #trolls oc #trolls oc otto #clotto #trolls clay #Clay trolls #i should probably post about why theu broke up for a bit and how they got back together .... .... soon! #maybe its depression or suppression or something that makes it fade #like the techno equivalent of going grey #even though we do see them go grey

[arty-cakes]

thk scribble pages (2/593)

#hollow knight #seasional depression kicked in so naturally i wanted to draw the most noncanon shit possible #it feels like its been a whilesince i did? has it? nah no..maybe #scroodles

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

I wonder what the kids and teachers in luz's school think of her now. Shes stopped "terrorizing" other kids, mainly because she seems to have stopped engaging with most of her classmates period. She no longer brings live animals or taxidermy to school. She even participates in english class occasionally, even if she doesnt "get" the point of the book. Her rants only clock as suicidal if you know about her time in the boiling isles which the people at her school do not.

I wonder if luz's teachers and schoolmates think that luz mellowed out over the summer. If the principal/counselor that suggested she go to the camp patted himself on the back because shes "improved."

#the owl house #toh #shut up pandora #luz noceda #something something people see a neurodivergent kid having depression and breathe a sigh of relief bc now theyre finally 'normal' #people speculate maybe luz would have been fine going to the summer camp and while i agree she would have made friends #she would not have been fine! she would have just learned to suppress her identity like camila did #but going to the boiling isles was her only option bc she either gets suppressed quickly at the summer camp #or she keeps acting out at school and eventually society wears her down and shames her into conforming like it did to her mom #something about how even if the camp helps luz act like a 'normal person' she still would have been miserable bc she couldnt be herself #it temporarily benefits her by giving her friends and benefits ppl around her by making her act 'normal' #but the kids there are still weird at heart! they have a community to be weird around now but society at large will still look down on them #unless they put on a front all the time to fit in #and the boiling isles isnt perfect either its society still looks down on luz for being different #but it accepts her neurodivergence and her new friends are all neurodivergent like her so she still has a community to be herself around #and while it looks down on her for having no natural magic it isnt something shes been shamed about growing up like her neurodivergence was #anyway the camp wasnt as catastrophic as luz thought it would be and vee benefitted from it #but it still represented a slow rot. the kind that eats away at neurodivergent kids as they grow up #slowly shaming them to hide away parts of themselves deemed unfit for society #and when you hide behind a front and are exhausted and miserable from it #everyone applauds you for your 'recovery.' youve improved yourself. they never liked the old you #good job on destroying yourself and shoving the pieces into a facsimile of what the people around you think you ought to be

[rosekiller-addict]

muggle au!Rosekiller where Barty is a burnt out gifted kid who's tired of following his fathers every move which leads to Evan to realize the everything he does doesn't have to be perfect

#barty basically ends up triggering evans burnout #this may or may not have happened to me #me being evan #or maybe its the seasonal depression #marauders #marauders era #rosekiller #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #slytherin skittles #regulus black #sirius black #james potter #wolfstar

[teepussilakana]

i feel really bad for tourists who come visit finland in november like damn all the trees are empty and the sky is grey and theres perpetual rain

like october is AUTUMN RUSKA PRETTY and if theres snow in december its WINTER WONDERLAND SANTA CLAUS PRETTY

november is the transition from one to the other

#finland #suomi #maybe its the seasonal depression talking #but i have never taken a nice picture in november

[fairycosmos]

one thing i never really understood is why people expect you to smile or look upbeat even when you're just like sitting there neutrally and they'll assume you're mad or sad about something if you don't and its like???? i just want my face to relax im not silently attacking you i am just here staring

#ive been told my whole life I look crazy angry or depressed and its like ok maybe i am depressed but not at YOU!!!! #my face is just like that

[speremint]

if i see spoilers for GO s2 im going to sob

#ngl ive been lookin forward to this all year and yet... i have been so depressed lately i am putting off watching it #its like im scared if i watch it then i will have nothing left LMFAOOO anyway it's fine i needa #finish some work and then maybe ill look at it idk #personal #delete later

[lunarharp]

scribblezone again testing out brushes, early grey oru, and ace attorney-style psychelocks

#witch hat tag #orufrey #doodly. i like one of the brushes tho. #oh and i was thinking how the girls have qifrey's hat design but oru's (current) tassel and how that makes me feel #ppl will surely be thinking umm WHY do they have a different tassel to him unlike every other atelier ever. the whole tassel thing is just. #whatever. *keeps the rest to myself as i fall down a zelda-style chasm of emotion* #i JUST wanna know if tassel swapping is a cultural witch sign of commitment OR if it's something they just made up. JUST TELL ME. NAAOOOOWW #the girls are too young to hear about it because oru has the inbuilt belief that kids will mercilessly tease ppl #ok what is going on someone said the psychelocks art made them laugh and someone else said it made them smile #sometimes when i try to get out depressing ideas ppl are like hehe aww and then for those pink clothes i got surprisingly much sad response #it wasnt THAT sad........maybe. anyway genuinely interesting . this world is a mystery #i think its bc i mix humour & tragedy more than i ever imagined i would. i mean witch hat is like that so thats why im doing it. well anywa

[anxietywasright]

somtimes you think you want to disappear but all you really want is to be found

#sadgirl #i'm sad #im sad and tired #im screaming inside my head #sad boy #sad but true #sad thoughts #sewerslidal #depressing shit #sorry for being depressing #this is a call for help #ignore this #my thoughts #drown in my mind #help my sanity #im gonna go cry now #its to late #& ㅤ * ㅤ maybe i’m not ; all that you thought ㅤ ╰ ㅤ ☀ ㅤ out. #but maybe #i should kms #i should stop #my dms are always open #dms open #sighs loudly #i love yall #lo siento #losing control #its too hard #im sorry #i wanna die

[scificrows]

Is there a 300 page essay about Murderbot's armor (specifically the opaque helmet) as a not-so-subtle metaphor for masking in a clearly neurodivergent character already? Because I need it.

The way Murderbot is unvoluntarily without its opaque armor in All System Red in front of the crew (i.e. unmasking) and appears surprised at its own strong facial expressions and other people's reaction to it? The vulnerability that comes with that and how Murderbot spends pretty much the rest of the book wearing or actively missing its armor which keeps it safe from the mortifying ordeal of being known (yet sometimes other characters suggest it might help for it to not opacify the helmet in order for others to see it as a person and to trust it (and in the end idk if it would have achieved the rewards of being loved by its humans and have had its needs met if it hadn't unmasked in this relatively safe environment sometimes)).

Also there's the whole avoiding-looking-directly-at-people-and-using-drones-instead thing which Murderbot usually hides using the opaque helmet, but whenever it doesn't have that people notice it and many react negatively/confused. I think that's a whole neurodivergent-applicable situation in and of itself? Like damn

And then Mensah encourages Murderbot not to wear armor on Preservation station since it would not need it there, Murderbot is hesitant but ends up not wearing any (like 4 books later when we finally get to that bridge) (going for the comfortable clothes it chose for itself instead, with very strong feelings about the whole being able to make choices thing that I cannot go into further at this point because I would absolutely end up BITING SOMETHING OR SOMEONE).

And I'm not going to advocate for unmasking all the time in any setting because hell no, sometimes it absolutely sucks and people are irritated by Murderbot's now visible quirks and are afraid of what they don't know, but many GET TO KNOW Murderbot better and because there are other people that make sure Murderbot is safe and respected and are willing to get people fired for it if they disrespect it (Pin-Lee my beloved) Murderbot can experiment with this situation without being exiled to some abonded part of a planet and other people are forced to spend enough time around ot to learn to respect it and even like it. I just....... It must be so scary and Murderbot is handling so much at once and in this essay I will

PS sorry this is a disorganized mess but so am I and I have so many Thoughts and even more Emotions and so little patience.

#murderbot #the murderbot diaries #all systems red #murderbot diaries #𓄿 #i sincerely hope this post isn't insensitive because i feel like the autism vibes are strong with murderbot and i am not diagnosed with tha #but i have adhd and a fun mix of anxiety and depression #and i've been deepdiving into autism research to help get one of my closest friends diagnosed (not possible at the moment) #and i relate so strongly in many ways and i dont know if its just that adhd and autism can overlap heavily #or my personal cocktail of adhd anxiety depression etc #or if i am on the spectrum somewhere myself #in any case i feel very strong solidarity and i hope i am not overstepping #but the main point here is the masking and that is DEFINITELY something ive been struggling with a lot recently #hence the strong emotions lol #i dont like to unmask. it sucks. but it can be so worth it. #and i am practicing and learning and trying my best #i feel like this fun sideblog for my scifi hyperfixations is quickly turning into a mess of therapy ramblings for myself #maybe thats because i love these books particularly BECAUSE i relate so strongly to these characters #in ways that are not NormalTM. and surprising for me #and ways that really help me figure out who i am and why dealing sith other people is so difficult for me #welp nevermind #all hail murderbot i guess

[milkbreadtoast]

yu junghyeok and prince cedric have like practically the same design (+v similar personality) but listen the Vibes they have r diff... idk if this makes sense but u know charas w tired dilf energy... YJH has that but not cedric.. hes like a baby.. the way I describe it is YJH is babygirl but cedric is just my baby🫂🔥🔥🔥*gets incinerated* SKJDJ idk if it's noticeable at all but I try to capture diff vibes when I draw them....

when i draw cedric i try to go full shoujo... he is a romance novel male lead... sparkly eyes bright colors 90s anime blush... goes full squish mode when drawing him chibi MFNSKJ🤭

but when i draw yjh im like... no i have to convey the Angst and Depression.... *gives him dark circles and takes the light from his eyes*😇🖤

idk if it's noticeable but I also try to differentiate their designs in subtle ways (besides eye color etc),,, I give them diff eyebrow shapes!! I like YJH with triangle brows(thicker at the ends) and cedric w tapered brows(thicker toward the middle) like the webtoon... I also try to make cedric's hair a bit curlier than YJH🥹

#cedric riester #yoo joonghyuk #yu junghyeok #TWSB #orv #re: i ​have to convey the Angst and Depression.... *gives him dark circles and takes the light from his eyes* #<-- this is also my approach to drawing dark choco cookie KJDKSSJ #not that cedric isnt also angsty and depressed but... he hasnt been thru the Time Loops™️😔 #and besides... he has his own emotional support prince jesse(yeseo)😇 #to help him sleep better at night... whens the last time yjh had a good nights sleep... he was a gamer before this too🤧 #yjh may be my pookie but the sheer weight of his chara holds me back from woobifying him completely... #maybe one day tho KJFKSJ #i think those squishy black eyed chibis r just as cute tho🤭 #Still need to draw both of them more... #yjh is my bias btwn them but cedric is more fun to draw for me smfbdm at least rn #AND ITS BC OF THESE REASONS!!! LIKE I GET to go full shoujo and squishy blorbo w ced #and sparkly and blushy #but i cant do that w yjh it'd be too jarring skfjsndb #THEYRE BOTH EQUALLY CUTE TO ME BTW... but since i love both... i dont want to draw them exactly the same... #and like i said it'd clash tonally too much if i drew him like a romance novel male lead (even tho hes just as handsome as one) #I NEED TO READ THE ORV NOVEL #btw for me yjh owns this archetype... the yjh archetype... 🤧 #but cedric is a cute variation bc of his orange eyes and curlier hair... 🤭 his fanta eyes make him stand out #from the other yjh wannabes (shoving jumin han into a locker) im jk #me @ every chara who looks like him: 🫵u will never be YJH /j #/jjjjj #ced is the exception... i immediately liked him BC he reminded me of yjh... there r enough fun diffs too #what on earth compelled me to ramble this much #my art

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it... #I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀 #irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living... #just the ol regulars yknow? #and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want? #I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what? #whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate? #so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it? #that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

What I hate the most is that I can spend like 90% of the work day telling myself all the things I want to do when I get home and I’ll feel like I’m going to have the energy for it, but then in that last half of that last hour all my energy and motivation shrivels up. What I thought would be a nice evening where I get a few things done and then relax instead turns into a depression nap followed by a low effort depression meal, disassociation, and eventually bedtime

#maybe it’s seasonal depression maybe it’s my adhd meds wearing off #its probably a combination of a bunch of things #but like I was hopeful about what I would get done tonight #and now I just want to lay in bed and cry #and like nothing happened to make my mood change