#maybe later when im awake

[crownedinmarigolds]

(X) Noa having her girl dinner rudely interrupted. ❤️

#noa hidalgo #noa #vampire the masquerade #vtm #vtm oc #clan giovanni #giovanni #hecata #clan hecata #world of darkness #inspired by talks with daz and alex about moonrise and noa running around the woods - she never gets to do that! #my art #blood #i drew her dress so sloppy but i was just sketching aghhh maybe i will update later when im more awake #my daughter kidnapped me

[binders-and-beanies]

Doin bad again folx

#might delete later I’m just wide awake and miserable #summer bill came out today and it’s $7100 not including housing which will be $2400 #literally dunno how im gonna pay for that and my dad is. adding to the emotional turmoil of it all #not able to get a loan at least not before the bill is due #able to get aid luckily but again who knows when or how much #my bday is tomorrow and for months I’ve been like please just let my bday be a good day i need one #i need some hope. not that I haven’t had good experiences lately bc I have. but nothing that lasts #nothing i get to feel good about for more than a day before a new problem drops #I need to enjoy my birthday without feeling this deep dark dread and fear and fucking guilt and hopelessness #I have fun plans for today And tomorrow and I’m grateful but honestly stressed about that too #bc it’s gonna be a lot + bc of all I need to do outside of that #+ I don’t get to spend my bday w friends the way I want like I have one friend Maybe coming w me #my bday is supposed to feel celebratory and instead it feels like absolutely forcing some illusion of choice or joy in my life #on top of it all. the most peaceful I usually ever feel is in bed w my partner and now my body won’t even let me hold or be held by them #currently laying next to them not touching them so I at least don’t keep them up w how physically miserable I am rn #I’m literally always physically miserable at this point and it feels like spring is never gonna come and provide any relief #but it’s like can I at least be cozy w them. nope instead I’m wide awake facing various horrors #despite being permanently exhausted and falling asleep in class after 40 ounces of coffee #Im just. so fucking unhappy in life rn dude I don’t want life to be like this forever with the constant threat of it getting much worse #fucking shred of joy in this godforsaken world: the sleep noises they r making rn #mine #txt #vent post #suicidal ideation tw #<- cry for help

[hyperfixationsstation]

Someone needs to make a compilation of all the photos of Christen with her arms wrapped around her bebe

honestly true she loves to hold to tobbae

#maybe i'll do that later when im awake in the middle of the night lol

[pepprs]

not doing good. at all

#purrs #today and yesterday ive been unspeakably depressed. and no one knows what to do with me and i don’t know what to do with me. but ivs been ge #getting absolutely SHIT sleep bc of my siblings staying up late and my sisters ocd stuff which is probably part of it. I now im wide awake a #and it’s 2 and im miseravle and can’t sleep and already did sleep for 2 hours and it didn’t help and im hungry and weak #i truly don’t n kw what’s wro ng with me. i want to be happy and normal but every day i have long moments where im trying so hard not to cry #and i think most ppl would excuse themselves to go cry or take a break or like. speak up and ask for help if they’re miserable but i don’t d #do any of that. i just hold it all in until i get so tired it disappears. and then when i do snap im too miserable and ashamed to actually b #be honest about how anyone can help me which only makes me cry more. atp idk what will help. im in therapy now im about to have some time of #km eating food i like even though it’s not the healthiest ive tried resting and getting sleep and whatever. maybe im just not cut out for #any of what im doing and i just need to detach myself from reality even harder than i am already doing apparently. idk nothing im typing is #making sense i just can’t fall asleep now and im so pissed at my siblings and im pissed at my whole family for not giving a shit that im mis #miserable and easily overstimulated by noise bc i could’ve had ghe room downstairs and im still being held hostage by redacted and being #shaken awake to redacted like last night and work is killing me for the dumbest reasons. i literally cannot keep living like this #delete later

[inkybinkyboink]

living on ur own is weird.

#delete later probably #ive been at my new place for a week now and its really #its a lot #i think im trying to still make it make sense in my head because i dont know what to do and i just keep doing things i know my mom does #like in the morning ill boil a kettle of water even though i only use a little bit of it to make coffee #but i know my mom does that every morning #or i made a pot of tea the other day before bed because my mom always drinks tea before bed #and like i never drink tea but ive been drinking it more because i know thats what my parents do at home #im starting to understand the sort of boring but romanticized idea of cleaning a countertop or doing the dishes or chores that i would #normally do but hate? but now im starting to see why people tolerate it #im finding home in tasks that share a commonality #if i boil a kettle of water then maybe it wont feel so much like a different place #ill wake up and not be surprised im in a different place but ill be surprised that im awake and its morning and i didnt wake up or nothing #woke me up or that theres no noise in the background #its not disorienting its just. different? #it's still different and i dont know when its going to stop feeling different

[tinyorangepotato]

fuck sleep

#tiny talking #like is there sowmthing thay actually helps. i havent tried melatonin but i smoke weed so #and most things like nyquill dont even make me drowsy #but like man i thought i got my sleep schedule normal #hut its 2 30 rn and i went to sleep like actually at around 11 i think #and was woken up for bo god dman reason almsot a half hour later and couldnt fall asleep because its hot so i get itchy everywhere #so i have a fan on my but then the hair on my moves so i get itchy and fuck man #im feeling sleepy now and im glad its monday because i dont work till 1 but any other day i wanna be up by 8 if possible #and i would really rather not only have maybe 5 hours of sleep #fucking it doesnt help im sleeping in my grandmas living room and same witb my younger brother ( we have far too many people living here #and the number has actually went down significantly) so when my cousin or his wife or kid comes down fron upstairs to use the bathroom #or someone turns on the fucking kitchen light at midnight whta the fuck #or my little brother comes upstairs to laydown but has chips hes snacking on #or anything reallt it prevent me either from going to sleep and sometines even from staying asleep after i fell asleep #and i have some sort of auditory thing where most sounds fucking slice through my mind. like the crinkle of a chip bag when theres not many #other sounds to cover it up and so it make me wide awake again every fucking time as i am feeling sleepy #or even my brother chuckling at his video. or fucking lofi. lofi fucking is the worst. it makes me anxious and most of them have like the #wrong combination of instruments. like how are you gonna have a soothing gutair and light drums and then boom. snare. like that shit ruins #it and made my brain nore active again like the fucking chip bag. and logi just makes me anxious in general listening to it idk why #there was no point to this but if anyone axtually reads this and has hacks ill take suggestions. #usually around like 2 or 3 am (maybe even 5 or6) then ill feel sleepy and be able to sleep without too too much hassle #but fuck man why cant you do thay at 10 or 11 or even 12. I FIXED MY SLEPE SCHUDEL #I STAYED UP ALL DYA AND NIGHT AND WENT TO SLEEP AT 9 #FUCKING STAY THAT WAY PLEASE. it worked for the first maybe 2 days where i would get tired around 10 and be able to fall asleep likeni was #when it was around 2 am. and then it gotnfucked the next day and i was unavle to sleep at 10 or 11 and was tired at 3 am #i dont knownif theres even a way to counteract this expecially since i dont even have an enclosed room to sleep in #so ita not like i can go lay down at 10 with all the lights off and they stay off and no one bothers me or makes any noise and i can just #drift away. (i do have to have a fan going if possible and if not then music but fan is best) #but yeah and just knowing other people are awake in the same room as me prevents me form sleeping too. man you could be so quiet i dont #even know youre there but if you are there and awake im gonna struggle sleeping worse than usual. i dont know why

[hyah-lian]

Not loz/lu/miltiverse links shit

I. Love crop tops so fucking much.

I have 3 or 4 and need m o r e

#crop tops make me powerful #they are very Gender #which is weird to say bc when i was still trying to pretend to be a cis b4 i was like yeah im trans af #i wanted to burn even thinking of them. like. i was so caught up in dysphoria and hell #now im like. look. cool refreshed little gay. just a guy with some skin. massive euphoria. #i could be a queercoded villain with my black croptop and green hair #or maybe im a fancy adventurer who is leaning heavily towards 'bard who helps make the town a community and has no wife of his own' #or maybe im an escapee from the fae realm and im gonna steal your fucking cupcakes Henry #im a fucking god when i wear crop tops ok #im a very tired adult ehh??? *vague hand gestures about gender* who needs some sleep #probly deleting later. i was deadass asleep and woke up because i forgot i made tea #and im trying to stay awake to finish drinking it

[coridallasmultipass]

.

#ughhhh i started writing a quick bro / dave for todays date but im def not gonna finish in 45 minutes nooooo #its my ki.nk and i wanted to savour what i was writing by dragging it out hffffffff #wish i thought to start it before last night ughhhhh #but ughhhhhhhh dudeeeee its hapeninggggggggggg #god im so fucking thorsty for it #no one writes it the way i want it #and now ive gone and made it silly by trying to do it for today #but i cant just take those parts out bc they're so... baked... into the plotline #hfffffffff why didnt i just make this its own thing ughhhhhh (bc dave would never wanna do that sober thats why) #hffffffffffff screams #writing sm. ut is so time consuming for me #(tbh writing is on its own lol) #but to write. my fave thing. for the first time. its a lot of pressure for a fic that was supposed to be a quick joke #bro ended up being fucking smitten as hell too bc thats how i feel abt this ki. nk lmao #i dont think im even gonna get hi tonight lmao its okay a holiday doesnt mean shit when its something i do on the reg #im so tired hhhhh im just wasting more time typing out more tags bc im too tired to write fic words lol ugh #delete later / / #maybe i will so i can just go the fuck to sleep rn and write more when im more awake. date be damned. im not finishing in 30 mins lol #and even if i did finish in 30 mins i sure as hell aint proofreading and posting within 30 mins #ok yeah gonna get ready for bed and set the writing down for when im not gonna write something rushed ill regret and have to undo later

[boyfeminism]

i cannot tell if i actually cannot get full deep breaths or if im just freaking myself out

#speaking #ive been waking up with such a weird body feel for weeks now and i feel like its getting worse #ive been awake for like an hour now and i want to go back to sleep but my brain is so scared abt breathing #cannot take a covid test bc blood can cause a false positive and ive been so bereft with nosebleeds i cant avoid blood on the swab #(<- guy who just tried) #i took my loops out so i didnt have to listen so intently to my own breathing bc its making me pankc #which is NOT helping the air situation #okay i think ive calmed down. i cant breathe More but i am not so focused on it #ive been up for 1.5 hours but i can maybe still get another hour of sleep in before i have to get up for work #wish me luck o7 when peach wakes up i get to be like hi babe i got scared and failed at taking a covid test -_- #hash is sleeping cozy at my feet tho #hour later i def wasnt breathing as well. source is im breathing fine now

[transgaysex]

cannot sleep bc i am filled with a deep deep sadness

#wind howls #its 8 am. im debating whether or not to just stay awake. i can nap later or even just sleep a full night. maybe #i kinda want to draw if im honest. but ive been drawing kinda since dnd ended #but really i should be drawing like. stuff for school. i have 2 drawings i need to do for 3 classes #and sure i could leave one for tomorrow and do it Before class but im trying to Not do my shit last second especially this early on #i just. want to draw my ani guy. i think hes kinda making me sad but its not a bad thing it just means my dm is good at making stories #but also i have other reasons im sad both more important and less important #i think im still shaken by the nightmare i had last night. it felt. so possible yknow. like something that really could happen. #i was so distraught i actually refused to talk about it until i had breakfast bc the superstition got to me #and the fact that i remember almost everything from the nightmare. i want to cry just thinking about it for these tags #i hate it. i hate it. it really upset me. #maybe thats why i havent slept yet. im really afraid ill have this bad a nightmare again. just like when i was a kid. but im tired #and i want to sleep. i want to not think about this stupid nightmare #but really i just have to be brave and. close my eyes. and hope with all my heart that my dreams treat me sweeter tonight #please wish me luck. goodnight

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Hrmm. It's 6:30am, I have to wake up at 9am, but my friend and I are still deep in conversation. Should I even go to bed now?

#weve been texting for two hours at this point #it doesnt feel like its been that long. absolutely wild #my sleep schedule has steadily been moving later and later #but no matter when i go to sleep i have to wake up at 9 to feed and take out my dog #i isually hang out with him for a few hours and then nap until the early afternoon #but 6:30 is a new best. lately its been 4 or 5. not this bad #im also deeply craving a mcdonalds cheeseburger rn whoch sucks cuz mcdonalds sucks and we're boycotting it #but i really just want a shity cheeseburger. yknow #and i want to stay awake all night texting her #she said she woke up at 2:30am (3:30am my time) so it makes sense that shes awake #what the fuck are our sleep schedules?? #also I'm reading a horror book and im easily spooked #but i have rats and theyre making little rat noises and scaring me every time #I'm actually so tired. I'm realizing. but i sincerely don't want to stop talking to her #sunrise is in 45 minutes. maybe ill take my puppy for a little sunrise walk #my sibling is gonna wake up to find us both missing at the ungodly hour of 7:30am and think we were kidnapped #im just saying shit now. theres no point to anything im saying. i just like to talk #goodnight. except this def wont be the last incomprehensible block of text i post tonight

[oflgtfol]

ive been tracking the number of storms we get each year since literally 2015 because of how i had felt like we had so many more storms when i was younger and not so much anymore so i wanted to actually track it to see trends over time. 2015 and 2016 we only had like a few of storms but 2017-2019 were nuts we had like at least ten each year (although trending downwards). then we had another slump starting in 2020 with each year since then decreasing in number of storms, only a handful each year but still more than 2015-2016. 2023 so far looks like we’re going up again, already 7 storms this year and we’re only in mid august

#brot posts #i should make a bar graph of this at some point. would be a better visualization than me just saying words #maybe in the fall when storm season is over #though we do still get storms up to november #november 13 2021 is on my list and its a date i wont forget cuz that was the storm that produced like fucking five tornadoes #tornadoes on LONG ISLAND !! #and i was in THE CITY that day !!!! #got caught in the storm in the city and then like an hour later my mom was texting me frantically that it hit my hometown and it was #actually scaring her which normally doesnt happen #and i was like damn i wish i was there lol #i rely on my mom to tell me when storms happen if im not at home during them lol #or if im not awake and totally sleep through them #ANYWAY. an hour left till i need to be up for work #at this point should i just stay awake or should i bother getting a little bit more rest

[snazum]

Hlvrai fenrey thing

Timey wimey sruff halpens, benry is transported to the past to witness gordons first few years with uni and joshua and everything. nothing stays a constant until towards later on in the timeline

first loop he just ends up seeing gordon at orientation for the uni, they bump into eachother

next loop he witnesses one of gordons and partner dates, ends up bumping into him again, gordon has a very faint recognition, sort of that one stranger u saw once guess they get coffee here sort of thing.

another jump with just glimpses of gordon on campus, hes very withdrawn.

jump again and its the begining of class, gordon lolks tired and has a kid with him, benry decides to sit next to gordon. class begins and all that. this loop around benry’s allowed to get closer to gordon and stay in that time period for longer.

these memories of gordons eventually fades, black mesa starts, benry is there saying they’re long time friends or whatever or just met, benry doesnt have these memories since they’re from the future for him. If gordon ever brought it up, he was probably laughed at. Gordon assumes hes misremembering.

When benrey returns to normal time again, he’s revived from xen. Eventually ending up in the freeman familys life again. Benrys surprised at joshuas growth, joshua is suspicious of benry because he looks so familiar, and feels familiar and safe even though gordon has stated otherwise.

#idk whos awake and im not going to main tag this #maybe later when its more fleshed out and i have some art to go along it #its a silly self indulgent idea #but im glad i let go of cringe or whatever #it doesnt need to be grand ideas all the time #and it can be cliche who cares #im excited to sketch these though #snazum talks

[girlwithfish]

ive been sleeping BAD

#well i only slept 6 hrs bc had to wake up for therapy #Nightmares when i sleep nd Nightmare during my nap ystrdy..trying to take a quick nap but also have thjngs to do and hw #well its 3pm my bf left a little before 1 i woke at 10:40 for therapy tried to go back to sleep until 12:40 ish was #half awake still not really asleep. i want to get dressed today do some dishes make a lunch tidy my place a bit #but i cant get too overwhelmed abd just stuck on cleaning for hrs bc ill get stressed and i have otber things to do #After i do that i will either start my readings and small assig ments i have due tmrw then walk to the mailbox and the package room #which will b my fresh air for the day. #nd maybe unpack my clothes later today #Idk #its not that much to do but it takes ne a while to make food and clean dishes and whatever So um #Im just trying to b content w my place not being perfectly organized and clean rn im tryinf to do a ljttle a day. oh and i wanted to take #some cardboard boxes to the recycling bins if theyre not full

[emmyrosee]

bf!sukuna who's a big softy will get mad at you for not eating dinner but cook for you anyway.

"You ain't ate yet?!"

"Tch. Whatever. I guess i'll make you something."

Whenever you fall asleep from working too long/being online too long he'll always tuck you into bed and give you a kiss on the forehead.

He has all your favorite snacks memorized and has them stocked up for you.

When he thinks you're asleep he will tell you stories about him from his past and you will admit sometimes you could NEVER see him doing those things.

"Yuji and I lived at the beach for like, 2 years I think. I used to surf. I was REALLY good at it, maybe I'll show you one day."

HERE ARE SOME IDEAS LOVE YOU EMMY 💖

IM GONNA COMBUST HES MY BOYFRIEND FR-

He gets so mad when you don’t eat, even if it’s only been for a few hours bc you’re not taking care of yourself dummy, and now he’s tasked with the laborious task of feeding you and taking care of you (his words, not mine)

He also can’t stand when you overwork yourself, or fall asleep at your desk because when your back screams at you later, he’s the one that’s going to have to massage it. But he’ll deny the way his heart skips when he scoops you in his arms and carries you to bed, and your cheek nuzzles into the warmth of his torso until you’re laid down on his side of the bed so you can keep his familiar smell in your mind :( all before he goes back to turn off your lights and save your work for you bc what of it got deleted huh? He’s gonna have to hear about that too? Tf?

He, and I cannot stress this enough, knows ALL of your favorite snacks, because for a good chunk of them, they’re his favorite too, and he has to chose between being a good boyfriend and saving the last few bites for you… or, eating them himself and kissing the pout from your lips while you whine and cross your arms petulantly. He’s always sure to be especially affectionate after he eats them, bc he knows he’ll find his shit left in the backyard for him to sleep on the porch swing.

AND HE LOVES TO TALK TO YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP 🥺 bc 9 times out of 10, you are in fact dead asleep, left with your lips smooshed against his chest and arm draped over him, and he can tell you anything. Deep secrets, deep desires, how he used to love yuuji as a kid, the whole nine.

But that 1 out of 10, you blink awake and give him a smile, and he nearly screams in fear of you coming to life, and you giggle softly. “You can surf, but you don’t know how to ride a scooter?”

“SHUT UP-“

#IDBEOSJDOSSNDOSN GOOD ASK GOOD ASK- #I LOVE BF SUKUNA 🥺🩷 #sukuna #sukuna fluff #sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader fluff #sukuna x gn!reader #sukuna imagine #sukuna jjk #sukuna ryomen #sukuna ryomen fluff #sukuna ryomen x reader #sukuna ryomen x reader fluff #sukuna ryomen x gn!reader #sukuna ryomen imagine #sukuna ryomen jjk #jjk #jjk fluff #jjk imagine #jjk x reader #jjk x reader fluff #jjk x gn!reader #jjk x gender neutral reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x yn