#maybe my fear of change is linked to that whole thing of fearing things ending and therefore friendships ending
Note
Can you maybe write a Steph Catley one? Either one where they both are at Arsenal, and they like each other but are oblivious. And when they win a trophy and are out with the team, everybody in the team tries to make them understand that they actually like each other. And then they understand it, then maybe some foreplay? if you understand:)
𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 - 𝙨.𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙡𝙚𝙮
warnings: some kissing at the end, alcohol
combination of this ask^ and this ask
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“stephy!”
i leapt onto the defenders’ back with no warning, catching her off guard as she tried her best to steady both me and herself.
it was the morning training, preparing for the game that night. steph and i were both in the starting lineup, jonas had pulled out his best for this game against london city.
“are you ready for the match, puddin?”
“yea, i’m excited. it’ll be fun.”
we chatted for a bit longer before jonas called all the girls in for a talk about strategies.
i could spot caitlin and katie off to the side, whispering and pointing in our direction. if it was those two plotting together then it could only end in trouble. i nudged at steph’s side, gesturing to the pair.
“what are they doing? looks suspicious.”
“if it’s katie and caitlin then it can only be something troublesome.”
she wasn’t lying, i laughed quietly at steph’s comment. we all dispersed after the talk had finished, everyone breaking off to get started at training.
it was a good session, the team accomplished what we needed to and i felt ready to go up against london city. when we all went back to the changing rooms, katie and caitlin walked up next to me.
“you wanna join us for coffee?”
that was a bit surprising, considering the two would normally be the first to go home and do couple things.
“um, sure? is anyone else coming?”
“nah just us. we wanna catch up.”
katie played it off, and linked arms with me to drag me to their coffee date.
we went to a quaint little cafe away from the training ground. caitlin found a table while katie took me to the counter and ordered an assortment of drinks and some small pastries. we all went to sit back down at the table and i was fixed with an expectant look from caitlin.
“so, you and steph, huh?”
“um, what?”
“y’know, you and steph. you’re always together and glued at the hip.”
“there’s nothing there. she like, 5 years older than me and i swear she has a fiancé.”
katie and caitlin shared a look, one that told me i was missing the whole picture.
“they broke up months and months ago. like almost a year, i think.”
“oh? is she okay? like she’s over him?”
“yea she’s been okay, but i think having you with her makes her feel better.”
that comment made me blush, deep down somewhere i knew there were feelings for my favourite defender. but i refused to acknowledge them in fear of rejection.
katie and caitlin drove me home after our catch up, so i could get ready for the game.
i was still excited with a bit of nerves, but what i couldn’t stop thinking about was caitlin’s comment about how steph felt better with me there.
when it came time for everyone to be at the stadium, i was picked up by steph, she’d made a habit of driving me around since we lived somewhat close to each other.
katie was captaining today, which everyone knew would end in some sort of dramatics, but we were confident we could at least win the game.
it was only when everyone was told to line up in the tunnel did the nerves come back in full force.
i felt a reassuring hand on the small of my back, turning around to see it was steph.
“you got this. score some goals puddin’.”
the nerves settled a bit at steph’s words, but didn’t die completely. we all walked out, lining up alongside the referee.
katie led the line to shake the officials’ hands then continued on to shake hands with the opposition.
i saw ruesha in the lineup and knew immediately that there would be yellow cards, whether that be for arsenal or london city? only time would tell.
arsenal did win that game.
4-0
it was a win for the ages, and a grand celebration.
when the final whistle was blown, the entire team including subs ran onto the field to join together in a huge hug. it was more like a pile of bodies, but the joy of winning the trophy seems to have overpowered everyone’s rational thought.
we all traipsed down to the locker rooms after doing some rounds with the fans. katie still had a hold of the trophy, waving it round like it was a flag.
“we need to go celebrate!”
the thick irish accent of the vice-skipper rang out and was met with cheers.
“katie we have celebrated.”
“no, properly. waving a trophy round isn’t celebrating, y/n.”
her cocky grin accompanied her words, making it all the more evident that she was making everyone come out to a bar to ‘celebrate’.
we all ended up going to the closest bar we could find. everyone had gone to their respective homes to change then were promptly dragged back out by, you guessed it, katie.
she was the first to shout the round of drinks, insisting everyone have some liquid confidence. when katie passed me my drink, it was accompanied by a shot glass.
i looked at the irish woman with a questionable look, where she smirked and mouthed ‘bottoms up’.
so i did just that.
i grabbed the shot glass, with still no clue what was in it and downed the whole thing. i could tell it was tequila immediately but made no move for a chaser.
i felt eyes on me from my side and turned to find steph’s gaze fixed on me. she was staring, but with a look of what i thought was admiration in her eyes. when she noticed i’d caught her, her cheeks flushed a pink hue and she smiled down at her glass.
throughout the course of the night, katie (and caitlin) were essentially feeding me drinks, pestering me to come up and dance with them.
eventually i gave in and they excitedly grabbed my hands and ran to the dance floor.
we were just vibing to the music, i wa s mostly observing katie and caitlin do the dancing. that was until, both of the girls just disappeared and i felt a presence behind me. i turned to find steph walking up to me.
“care to dance?”
“sure.”
i grinned up at the defender. we kind of just swayed around to the music until a catchy song came on and all the alcohol katie had gotten me started working.
i was jumping around, begging steph to join in, which she did, and we both just kept dancing around with each other.
when that song ended, steph slowed us down, and we moved around a bit before we stood off to the side.
“y/n, can i say something?”
“sure stephy, what’s up?”
i could feel something in my gut, like she was going to tell me something important.
“i really like you.”
i didn’t react right away, i let the information fully enter my brain first before looking steph dead in the eye.
she was a bit taller than me so i was looking slightly upwards, but then i leant up on my tip-toes and pressed my lips to hers.
it was only after i’d actually kissed her that i re-thought my actions, freaked out and decided to pull away. but before i could do that, steph’s fingers would their way up to the nape of my neck and grasped my hair, stopping me from pulling away.
only when we needed a breath did we break apart.
“i take it you like me back then, yea?”
i nodded quickly, then remember to use my words.
“yea. yea i like you a lot.”
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Sorrow, part 3
It was a good sign that his sister had linked arms with her, Aemond thought.
Helaena was not given to befriending strangers and she was leaning in, speaking with the lady Elyse, who had a small smile on her face. She turned and her gaze landed on him, and she went perfectly still.
Aemond nodded at her and strode to greet his sister and his mother, while his brother sighed wearily as he headed back to the keep.
Elyse watched him as he approached and he saw her wring her hands together, her smile frozen in place, and the familiar fear in her eyes.
"My lady," he said, bowing to her and offering his arm.
"Your Highness," she replied in a voice so quiet it might have been a breeze. She placed her hand in the crook of his elbow and looked up at him.
He felt the agitation in her, the way her breathing had quickened, and he wanted to tell her she was safe, that no one would hurt her again.
"Why?"
Her simple question rattled him. Because for the first time in a very long time, Aemond had no idea why he had made a decision. He looked down at her, her eyes bright with fear, her lips trembling despite the heat of the day.
She hadn't let go of his arm, however, and he placed his hand over hers.
"No one will harm you here."
She was looking at him as if she didn't understand his words. Did she not believe him?
"I will have my servants and one of my men standing guard," he added, and then he watched as his free hand rose to her cheek, the backs of his fingers stroking her skin as her eyes stayed on his.
He hadn't spoken to his mother about the betrothal. He could tell she wasn't pleased, or maybe she wasn't pleased about something else, there was always something to disappoint her.
Aegon, he thought. Probably Aegon.
He realized he was still stroking her cheek and he pulled away, startling her. "We should go inside."
* * * * *
She would meet with queen Alicent in the morning. Today she had been shown the room she would occupy as Aemond's betrothed. It was very finely appointed, Elyse thought as she ran her hand over the bedcovers. And it didn't stink of alcohol and sweat the way her marital bedchamber had.
A young maid had run a bath for her and at her door, as Aemond had promised, a guard would stand at all hours, changing shifts twice a day.
Elyse laid down on the bed, her hair still damp from her bath, and for the first time in a really long time, began to cry.
She'd been so careful to not cry, no matter what. Servants talked, and if her husband had found her crying, he would have probably backhanded her and called her a stupid girl, stupid useless girl.
It was his usual reaction to just about everything she did.
She would have to write to her father, explain that she wasn't coming home. Maybe she would have asked if he had already spent all the coin he had gotten for selling her into the marriage.
Her thoughts went back to the prince. He'd never answered her question and it nagged at her. He had assured her that she was safe and she had nodded while wondering if he, too, would turn on her as her husband had.
Would this prince become angry and take his rage out on her? Would she end up in the same situation as before except this time with a husband who was younger and seemed healthier than the first one? She'd looked at the scar that stretched beyond the eyepatch he wore, it looked wicked and jagged and she could not imagine what the pain must have been like.
Queen Alicent hadn't smiled the whole time they'd traveled to King's Landing. Queen Helaena was far more cheerful, although Elyse couldn't quite make out what she was saying half the time, but she had been kind and Elyse had experienced little kindness in her life so she would do her best to please the young queen.
She had heard terrible things of the young king but if he had noticed her at all, he couldn't have cared less.
Elyse dried her tears - at least for the moment, she was in warm, safe place, with assurances that she would not be harmed, and that was more than she could say about the last few years.
* * * * *
"She cried for a long time, my prince, and then she fell asleep."
Aemond nodded at the servant, dismissing her, and fought the urge to find his betrothed.
She was pretty in a pinched sort of way, her collarbones standing out starkly and her fingers cold and thin. Her hands were usually grasped together or clasping her skirts, and her eyes, when she chose to raise them from the ground, had a permanently fearful look he wanted desperately to erase.
There was a knock on his door and he took a deep breath, readying himself for what was to come.
"Come in."
He heard the soft rustle of skirts and the gentle closing of the door and he knew who it was.
"What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking that our duty is to help our people, and Lady Elyse looked very much in need of help," he said monotonously, having prepared his answer.
His mother walked around until she was facing him. "You are to wed for the benefit of our house, not out of pity for some nothing girl who-"
"She is not nothing," he said, his tone growing terse. He looked up at his mother's worried face - the face he was most familiar with - and stood, nearly bumping into her. "She is a noble lady, from an old House-"
"From a House with no coin and no resources!"
"I have made my choice."
Alicent scoffed. "Do not trap yourself in this situation, Aemond, because you had one moment of sentiment for the girl. She can be sent back to her family and no one would ever know.""
"Other than for yourself, mother, do you ever feel pity for anyone?"
Her hand, small and pale, landed on his scarred cheek, and she whirled around in a flash of green before leaving his rooms.
He stared at the door as it closed, and decided he'd marry Elyse as soon as possible.
* * * * *
Early in the morning, Elyse awoke to find a young maid patting her arm. "My lady, please."
"What is it?" she asked, fear climbing up her chest.
"You must wear this and follow me, now," the maid whispered, holding up a garment.
She looked toward the window, at the pinks and pale blues of dawn and could only nod at the maid. She had no choice, no one who'd back her protest, so she dressed and let the maid place slippers on her feet before she ran out the door.
It was still cool and she clasped the cloak she had been given tightly around her. It was black, with a hood, and lacked any sort of ornamentation, but when she put it on, Elyse could swear it smelled like the prince.
"This way, my lady."
Once outside the keep, she was led to a garden and stared down the path at the two figures who awaited her.
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what does your “sneaky link” think of you? 😏🔗• {patreon preview} pac (18+)
this reading is for people who are 18+ ONLY. my ancestors and spirit guides who help give these messages to me are blunt af, and i have a feeling that they won’t mince words. and neither will i. the way that we speak (especially about sexual things) is pretty explicit, so if that could possibly make you uncomfortable, then please skip this reading :)
• pile one •
cards:
the grim reaper: the relationship is over, no second chances, grow and transform your life
paradise: happiness, expansion, joy, playfulness, oneness, enjoying each other
the high priestess
7 of coins
ace of swords
i don’t even think that you guys are in contact with this “sneaky link”. it seems like the connection is completely dead and buried - and you seem to be the one who ended things. i’m going to need you guys in this pile to believe the following words - because it’s clearly true: when i looked at this high priestess card, i literally heard “magical pussy” 😂😭. and the phrase “grow and transform your life” jumped out at me afterwards on this grim reaper card. now, change the genitalia to fit yours, but the point is - you changed this person’s life. drastically in some way. with sex alone. you literally got the “paradise” card. that’s what this person would attribute sex with you to - and since you’re showing up as this high priestess now (someone not available, unattainable, protecting your valuables), this person now feels stuck af. they were under the impression that you both got along really well. that you both were enjoying each other’s time and company, however with the 7 of coins, i can see that you hit a wall with this person. you had to question whether or not this person was even worth continuing to invest into. and it seems like you decided that they were not - so you left (as you should’ve). the ace of swords also suggests that this person feels like you’re an extremely clear communicator, both in and outside of the bedroom. and it seems like they’re aware (now that you’re gone) that what they could give you wasn’t enough. they actually put you up on a pedestal above them, but you’re still extremely desirable to them. i’m hearing that whatever passion they experienced being with you, it ain’t going anywhere. this person is holding onto these memories and valuing them more than they have the memories with anyone else. this person could even feel like you took their happiness with them - as dramatic as that may sound (especially since this wasn’t a committed relationship) but they were really invested in you - and still are. the 7 of coins is about hard work paying off. they could have the idea that they could try to get you back in some way (maybe if they increase their finances? are you a material girl/boy/enby? i’m hearing kanye west + jamie foxx - gold digger: “If you fuckin' with this girl then you better be paid” lmaoo), but it seems like they’re keeping this in their dream state (like daydreaming about this) instead of actually making moves to make this a reality. the idea is there though. you guys really need to recognise the value of your sexual energy if you don’t already. whatever you give people changes their whole entire life, their world, what they believe is “paradise” with another person. and whatever’s between your legs? magical 🪄😭.
check out my patreon for the extended reading - done with oracle cards - (where we look at this person’s favourite aspects of sex with you), if you’d like ☺️
if you’re interested in a personal reading, check out my pinned post here
thanks for reading! 💗
• pile two •
cards:
hammer: sabotage, rebuilding, interrogation, repetitive, persistent, working on it
not enough: frustrated in relationship, lack of confidence, self-sabotage, fear/ego issues, jealousy
the chariot
strength
the hanged man
you guys probably aren’t gonna like what you hear in this reading, however, the messages are repetitive - and i’m seeing that you probably acknowledge for yourself that this is the truth too.
your “sneaky link” believes that you do entirely too much, considering the fact that you’re not in a relationship. they can tell that your insecurities control you and not the other way around. and although they can see that you’re working on these personal issues that you have, it’s still affecting this casual connection because of your control issues. this person may not be only interested in you - they could be the type to multi-date or sleep with multiple people (which they have every right to) and if so, then you obviously know about this. or at least you have an idea. but despite the fact that this person isn’t “yours”, they feel like you have a weird sense of jealousy towards the other people who they sleep with/interact with, and some control issues/ego issues that they just really don’t understand. the chariot suggests that this person feels as though you try to control them or the situation way too much. and they don’t appreciate that. “i’m not yours. don’t try to control me”. that’s what they’d like to tell you. they see you as someone who is sabotaging what could be a good, fun thing. and with the hanged man here, they feel like you really need to reevaluate whether or not you’re even cut out for this casual sex/sneaky link shit. because i don’t believe that they believe that you are. they feel like you let your ego get in the way. and that you need to release your ego issues. they really don’t understand why you act like this. i’m either sensing confusion or manipulation. so this is either reiterating that they’re confused about you and your behaviour - and the manipulation could be them picking up on you trying to steer the connection into something that was not agreed upon. doesn’t matter if this is emotional manipulation, mental manipulation, sexual manipulation, etc. the hanged man is also sticking out to me as this person’s energy too. you may not hear from this person for a while, and if that’s the case, it’s because they’re wondering whether or not they should release you and release the stresses that come with (what’s supposed to be) a fun, casual, sexual connection with you. i understand that this may not be easy to hear, pile two, but i’m definitely seeing that this person feels like you have control issues. and considering how i picked up on a level of self-awareness on your part (at the beginning), i feel like you know that this person doesn’t deserve to have to deal with it. especially since i’m feeling so much frustration on their part. they feel like they’re having to explain themselves to someone who isn’t even a committed partner. that’s not right. they’d suggest that you take some time to yourself and do some soul searching. and tbh, as a reader (from what i’m seeing), i agree.
check out my patreon for the extended reading - done with oracle cards - (where we look at this person’s favourite aspects of sex with you), if you’d like ☺️
if you’re interested in a personal reading, check out my pinned post here
thanks for reading! 💗
• pile three •
cards:
photograph: looking at your photos, missing you, nostalgia, make new memories
twin flames: yin/yang, zen, balance, union, duality, coupling, complement each other
8 of cups
judgement
6 of coins
as i was shuffling for your pile, i wanted to smile and laugh - so this person probably thinks that you’re funny af. i heard “you’re a character”. despite all of this distant energy that i’m seeing, and how you walked away from them due to some type of emotional overwhelm or confusion, they still have very fond memories of you. i’m seeing for someone in particular, that you walked away from all of the people who you were sleeping with/dating to listen to your intuition when it told you to cut contact for the sake of sexual abstinence? you may have realised that you were using sex as a coping mechanism, or that sex wasn’t serving you anymore, so you decided to end this sexual connection (and possibly multiple other connections too). they’re really understanding of this. they understand why you left - no matter what the reason was - but this person could genuinely believe that you are their other half. i mean, the twin flames card came out. i don’t know if this person speaks in those types of terms, but to put it simply, they feel like you’re perfect for each other. they may have not realised this until you left, but being exposed to other connections with people that are pretty surface level has made them realise that, although the connection between you was casual, there was something special there. at least for them 🤷🏾♀️. i’m hearing them talk about how much you gave of yourself to them. how equal and reciprocal the respect was between the both of you. and they could be searching for that in other people - but they just can’t find it. they genuinely reminisce about you and feel like you’re their other half that they can’t have. i’m also seeing that this person feels like you taught them a lot about value - value of connections, and the value of themselves. this was a mutually beneficial connection that they learned a lot in. they feel like you’re complete opposites to each other that fit together perfectly. perhaps you felt this too. if you didn’t leave for the sake of abstinence, you could’ve left because you caught feelings when you really didn’t want to. again, they understand, but they recognise that the feelings are mutual. and they value you, the experiences that they had with you (as surface-level as it may have seemed to the external world), and the way that you showed them that both people can mutually experience just as much pleasure as the other in these situations. perhaps, before they met you, they were the type to not really enjoy sex all that much due to being in their heads too much? i’m not sure. but you’re valued by this person for sure. and they feel like you complement each other well. aw, this is so bittersweet 🥲.
check out my patreon for the extended reading - done with oracle cards - (where we look at this person’s favourite aspects of sex with you), if you’d like ☺️
if you’re interested in a personal reading, check out my pinned post here
thanks for reading! 💗
#psychic readings#tarot reading#pick a card#pac#pick a photo#divination#tarot#pick a picture#pac reading#free tarot#18+ readings#18+ tarot
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because it's written down, you've memorized it
gungoo oneshot
1.7k words
angst because chapter 479 fundamentally changed me as a person
ao3 link if yall want:
"You’re going to die in your best friend’s arms. And you play along because it’s funny, because it’s written down, you’ve memorized it, it’s all you know."
So, this is the end, Park Jonggun thinks as he swirls his wine in his small glass, watching his breath turn to steam in front of his face. It’s not a bad one, by any means. The snow falling from the sky in ill-fated flurries that melt as soon as they touch his skin; the faint rumbling of Seoul in the background; Goo’s gentle breathing by his side.
If anything, Gun thought this whole thing would’ve ended a lot differently.
A knife fight, maybe, or some other sort of barely concealed violence– teeth gnashing, jaws snapping, claws scratching at each other’s throats. That’s how they met, after all. Standing alone in that junkyard, the sky pouring rain as if it was crying for them, blood dripping from their wounds, bones creaking from the effort of staying upright.
But this isn’t much better, Gun thinks. It’s unfamiliar. Suffocating.
It’s so antithetical, so fundamentally opposed to everything they are and were meant to be. Weapons are only supposed to draw blood, after all. Violence is all that they had ever known.
So why is it that all he feels, watching his rival and partner and best friend of four years sitting on the ledge beside him, watching the clouds split into pieces and fall to the earth, all he feels is something stirring inside– a deep, dark, primordial fear?
When will you leave? Will you really leave? Will I really have to kill you? Why did you do it, Goo Kim?
Gun has always been a man familiar with fear. It comes with the territory when you kill for a living. But there’s something strange about this fear; it’s raw, a little bit ugly, a little bit too rough for even Gun to enjoy.
But what’s worse is this: they accepted it so easily, as if it was carved on their bones, as if it was a script they’d both rehearsed; their end was an inside joke between friends– easy, familiar, funny. Even now, they both understand what kind of person the other is, what kind of choices the other would make.
It’s like they both already knew this would happen, from the second they laid eyes on each other. They’re not the type of people for happy endings.
Still, they stayed.
Did Gun expect a different ending? Was he trying to achieve a different ending in the first place? Goo Kim, what did you do? What do I owe you? Is this really what you wanted after all?
Is that why, when Goo asked him to drink, for the first and last time, he sounded so sad?
But once again Goo doesn’t answer any of his questions; once again, Gun is secretly glad he doesn’t.
They sit there under the roof of the old house, the snow still falling in clumps and flutters, its whiteness shining in the dim sunlight.
“Hey.”
The silence is broken when Goo finally speaks again.
“I think I’ve gotta be on my way now.”
Gun looks up from his hands, abruptly realizing how much time has passed when he sees the sun already setting.
“Taejin might start getting worried that you killed me if I’m not back soon,” Goo continues. He cracks a soft smile at his own joke and stares at Gun, as if expecting him to reciprocate the smile.
He does.
“Why don’t we finish this bottle first?” he replies, picking the soju bottle up again to emphasize his point.
“What, I thought you weren’t in the mood for drinking?”
“Mm, changed my mind,” Gun replies, and that’s the end of it.
They pour their drinks out and down it all in one shot again, like they did the last time. The alcohol burns pleasantly as it rolls down Gun’s throat, and he remembers why he likes it so much in the first place: it tastes like a fight.
He thinks he’s drawn to Goo in the same way.
They haven’t ever drank together, courtesy of Goo’s aversion to alcohol and all things that could be considered a “vice"; but as they sit there together, glasses clinking together, it feels as if they’ve done this a thousand times over.
They pour out another shot and down it again. And then another. And then another. The entire time, they don’t speak a single word, barely even look at each other. Perhaps this was exactly the kind of ending that was fit for their relationship.
The irony writes itself.
A violent, glorious start, filled with snarky threats and bloodied fingers; a peaceful end. Like the slow fizzling out of stars that were never big enough to go supernova. Was that what Gun and Goo were to each other?
Friends, colleagues, lovers that never were?
Lovers, Gun thinks, whispers silently, rolling around the word on his tongue like he’s trying to weigh it, trying to scope out its smooth edges and sharp corners. It’s heavy. Unbearably so. He doesn’t think it fits them, doesn’t think it ever will.
Love is a tender, tender thing. Gun and Goo haven’t got a single bone in their body made for tenderness. All of their bones are for breaking.
Gun looks over at Goo, only to find that Goo had already been staring at him for who knows how long. When Goo sees that he’s been caught, he doesn’t look away. Instead, he only grins.
…Gun doesn’t know what it was. Maybe it was the way the light bounced off the rim of Goo’s glasses and fluttered off his lashes like stars. Maybe it was the way Goo’s face looked especially pale amongst the snow, so pale that Gun thinks he’d fade away if he didn’t grab him. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the slight flush on Goo’s cheeks or the farewell that didn’t yet slip off his tongue or his annoying smile that Gun needed to wipe off his face. Maybe it wasn’t anything at all, but at that moment, it was so easy to just lean forward and take.
So he does.
Gun leans in and kisses Goo.
The moment is stretched thin to infinity, like time has just stopped. Goo makes a surprised, muffled sound and tenses, but the movement is brief. He eases into the kiss as well, as if he’s been waiting all his life for this, as if they’ve done this a million times.
The feeling of Goo’s perfectly maintained lips against Gun’s own chapped pair isn’t unfamiliar. Neither is the coolness of his glasses against Gun’s nose nor the way Goo shifts in his seat.
After all, they had spent the greater part of the last three years together, and they had needed to explore some more… primal urges.
But what is unfamiliar is the tenderness.
Gun and Goo’s kisses had always been tongues and teeth: a fight, a challenge, a dare. A battle for superiority, like everything else they’ve ever done. At the end of it, Goo always tasted like blood, whether it be his own or Gun’s.
The taste of Goo, unstained by blood or anger, is something softer, smoother, so much so that Gun hardly believes that it’s really the blonde that he’s kissing. Goo tastes like rain and home cooked food and dollar-store soju.
Is this what a goodbye tastes like?
If so, Gun thinks that he wants to say goodbye to Goo again and again and again. This is nice, he thinks. If the Earth stopped spinning right then and time stopped flowing, the fact that they’re there together in the first ever moment of gentleness they’ve ever shared would be enough.
Gun doesn’t remember who pulls away first. Maybe Goo did, judging by how he instantly moves to adjust his crooked glasses or rearrange his scarf; or maybe it was Gun himself, as he instantly moves to fix his hair.
The moment ends, and they both pretend like nothing ever happened.
Goo is the first one to acknowledge it.
“You know, you’re actually pretty good at this stuff when you’re not trying to eat me alive,” he says, and it sounds noncommittal, like a joke. As if none of that just mattered.
But the crack in his voice at the end gives him away.
“But don’t think that it’s enough to get me to stay.”
Yeah.
Gun knows.
Goo is a breezy, capricious person. His moods come and go like the wind. But when he sets his sights on a path to walk, storms on his brows and a hurricane in his steps, there’s nothing in the world that can stop him.
Gun isn’t any exception.
Still, it’s nice to know that he was at least a temptation.
Goo dusts off his dustless coat and moves to stand up. There’s still a bottle of soju left in the bag he brought, and he points to it.
“Anyways, I’m actually leaving this time. That’s a gift for you. Have fun drinking alone, loser.”
Gun snorts.
“Yeah, thanks. Have fun drinking with your secret friends as well, idiot.”
Goo smiles, but there’s no mirth behind it. There’s a swirl of other emotions there that Gun can’t quite put a finger on. Sorrow, melancholy, regret, but not wishfulness. They would’ve gotten to this point anyways, no matter what happened.
“I will.”
Goo turns to leave. Before he does, he gives a backwards glance at Gun, annoying smile still hanging off his face.
“Hey,” he begins, and he sounds a little sad. Just a little. “It was nice while it lasted, Gun Park.”
“Mhm.”
And Goo walks off into the sunset.
Except–
Gun doesn’t know what came over him, perhaps it was the alcohol again, but whatever painful, ugly, tender thing drove him to kiss Goo the first time drives him to cup his hands around his mouth and shout:
“Kim Joongoo!” he cries after the figure in the distance. “Stay alive until the next time!”
But Goo doesn’t turn around, doesn’t even acknowledge him. Gun can’t let it just end like this. No, he wants, he–
“Kim Joongoo!”
Did you hear me?
Can you do that?
Will we ever meet again?
(Of course they will. They’re bound at the bones, joined by their flesh and their tendons and by something far greater that won’t ever, ever let them leave the other. Like two stars bound by each other’s gravity, they’ll never truly be able to leave. It’s hard to tell where Gun ends and Goo begins.)
Goo turns around in the distance, and–maybe it’s a trick of the light– but he smiles back. It’s something small, reserved, and it’s entirely sincere and free of trickery. It’s something Gun thinks only he has ever seen.
And Goo turns back around and walks off. Gun looks at his retreating form until he is consumed by the snow entirely.
#lookism#lookism manhwa#gun park#goo kim#park jonggun#kim joongoo#lookism fanfic#lookism webtoon#lookism fic#gun x goo#gun park x goo kim#gungoo#myuiis bullshit
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I was 17 when The Phantom Menace came out and was miffed by the Jedi’s reaction to Anakin because he missed his mother and was rightfully concerned her about her. In Attack of the Clones he’s a young adult who is having nightmares about her and as we follow along we learn that she met and a man and was freed. So why in the years she was free have the two not talked? She knew where he was. Then she dies and lastly we have Revenge of the Sith where he’s worried about his wife and child dying.
Now I did not then or now take Anakin as being greedy for wanting his loved ones to be safe. The Jedi come off as a closed off body considering they start training children at such a young age that they don’t know their families and they forbid contact or their members from loving someone. Attack of the Clones is a forbidden love story.
So for me the story is a family getting caught up in a religious war and it having dire consequences for them. Anakin was saved when Luke went against his teachers and tried to save his father proving beyond any doubt the Jedi were wrong.
Yoda even thinks the Jedi need to change at the end of the Revenge of the Sith novel.
(You're covering a lot of subjects, I won't go into detail on any of them because I already commented on them, I'll just link my other posts, you can click to see what backs up my argument or just take my word for it.)
I think you're free to have your own headcanon and/or interpretation of the films.
Fact remains though: you were 17 and the Prequels were made for 8 to 12-year olds.
Maybe it's because I saw it in Italian, maybe it's because I was like 5 or 6, but my takeaway of the Yoda telling Anakin that "fear is a path to the Dark Side"... was just that. That fear is a path to the Dark Side. I took it the same way others took the "do or do not" scene in ESB. Yoda didn't come across as particularly mean, and clearly isn't meant to come across that way either.
"[Shmi] met and a man and was freed. So why in the years she was free have the two not talked? She knew where he was. [The Jedi] forbid contact or their members from loving someone."
I never saw anyone outright forbid Anakin from seeing Shmi, in the movies. If we go by Canon, Dooku met his father and wasn't expelled, and in Legends, Adi Gallia speaks of her parents with reverence, as if she knew them.
Why have Anakin and Shmi not talked? Because Shmi is living with a farmer, she's made a new life for herself, and even if she wanted to, it'd be trying to get from Tatooine to the capital of the galaxy on a farmer's budget.
"Attack of the Clones is a forbidden love story."
Yes... but not exactly.
Love itself isn't forbidden. Love over duty is forbidden. It's not about not being allowed to be in a relationship, it's about being fully committed to whatever relationship you choose. In Anakin's case, he needs to choose between the Order and Padmé, and half-asses his commitment to both.
"Yoda even thinks the Jedi need to change at the end of the Revenge of the Sith novel."
Yeah... but not in the way you think.
The whole passage of that novel goes into how the Jedi were beaten because the Sith shifted the battlefield by going into politics, which the Jedi had no experience against. The Jedi were expecting an actual fight, instead they got checkmated by the very thing they were upholding.
The moral of that passage isn't "the Jedi were flawed because they didn't allow people to see their parents or because they didn't allow people to love" it's "had the Jedi been less politically-inept, they wouldn't have been blindsided."
"So for me the story is a family getting caught up in a religious war and it having dire consequences for them. Anakin was saved when Luke went against his teachers and tried to save his father proving beyond any doubt the Jedi were wrong."
Again: this is cool. More power to you.
But it's not the intended narrative.
Sure, Luke is proving them wrong in the sense that they thought Vader would never willingly come back to the Light - but even then, look how beat up Vader needs to be before he does.
But at the end of the day, Ben hopes that Luke is right.
He hopes that Vader can become Anakin again. It's just that he's painfully aware that the chances of that happening are very meager, and what's much more likely is that Luke will die instead or worse, fall to the Dark Side. Which almost happens. Again, love vs duty.
Luke isn't proving Ben wrong by rejecting the temptation of the Dark Side and sparing his father, a defenseless foe, because, just this once... his duty is to choose love, it's to show compassion.
He's just... being a Jedi. That's standard Jedi stuff.
And Jedi are awesome.
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Okay so this might not be the most coherent but:
So like it's been pointed out before but in the household Guillermo is like the only who changes and the vampires don't change because they dont want to change unlike Guillermo who does, except the vamps do change. They change because of Guillermo changing and I feel like that's something alotta people for some reason miss??
Like yes, at the end of season 5 everything "reset" but it didn't undo the changes that have happened/that will happen, just like how at the end of s4 even though everything "reset" it didn't stop there from being changes and growth for the characters.
I feel like the " reset" that seems to happen every season shows us the unwillingness for the vampires to change, which is in direct contrast to Guillermo who craves change every season, which is what (for the most) causes the main conflicts and storylines for each season. Example, end of s4, Guillermo goes to Derek to be turned, which leads to the main storyline/conflict of s5.
Okay so now my point that I'm trying to make:
I feel as if both the vampires and Guillermo can be seen as representation of humanity and the relationship we as humans/people have with change, the relationship being, that we as humans desire change, we crave it almost but at the exact time, we despise and push against it as much as possible.
Guillermo represents the change we long and strive for. Every season he has an aspect of himself or his life he wants to change( I mean his main objective since the first episode until s5 was to be vampire which is obviously a change he wants) and every season he gets close to that change and something stops, which is just how in life we try to change our lives, situations, selves etc.but not matter how hard we try and want to there's something that stops us.
Now on the other end we have the vampires, who can be seen as representation of the hatred and opposition (maybe even fear) of change. The vampires don't want to change (I mean they're immortal they don't really need to worry about changing). No matter how hard they try to avoid change they are constantly are forced to change and do/try new things and be in new situations. The vampires always end up some how undoing the changes(usually caused by Guillermo) but they don't actually undo them, because the change has already happened, it's subtle (like the way they treat each other n stuff) but it's there. This shows how even though we try not to change and even if we don't like change, u can't stop it from happening.
Then u have nandor, who in my opinion, is in-between both these/is a combination of the hunger for change and the fear of it. Nandor desperately wants change, however he's scared so he doesn't change, which contrasts the other vampires who don't want to change and Guillermo who is always trying to change.
Anyway this all can be linked to the discussion of humanity as whole and what happens when u drift further and further from it and the conversations around immortality vs mortality(but that's all a convo for another day).
Anyways point is basically that Guillermo and the vampires all represent different relationships we have with change as humans and that's why things always seem to " reset " each season but also not.
Don't really know if this made sense but yeah.
#i tried so hard to make this make sense#i love over analyzing this show#i feel like this might be a reach but anyway#what we do in the shadows#wwdits season 5#our flag means death#wwdits#ofmd
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A Collection - A TMA + Secret Life AU Fic. 1.8k words. Scar as the statement-giver and Grian as the Archivist. [Additional notes, ao3 link, and other credits here]
[???]
Statement of…?
[?]
Goo- Oh, uh, my initials are G.T.W. but I go by Scar. Scar G.T.W.
[???]
Ok, Statement of Mr. Scar G.T.W. regarding the disappearance of his street for a few days. Statement taken direct from subject, third of November, twenty twenty-three. Audio recording by Grian H, the Archivist. Statement begins.
[SCAR]
Thank you! So, geez, I guess it started on what had been the thirty-eth? I collect figures, specifically old-timey houses. Not! Dollhouses, and I’m currently in the middle of organizing a wild west themed diarri-diarom-diamet- uh, display. In the middle, the giant centerpiece of it all, is a courthouse. Some antique dealer gave it to me pretty cheap, didn’t catch his name though. It was pretty shady, like some real back-of-a-dark-alleyway stuff. Came with a little folded up paper, too. I figured it was some sort of, I dunno, verification? Looking back on it, I should have known something was off. I was just so excited to get this new piece, y’know? It was gorgeous, these tiny rough stone pebbles that made pillars looking like something straight from Greece, some amayzin’ gemstones set in the front in these absolutely brilliant, wait, was that British sounding? I sound like you! [chuckle] But yeah, the crystals were green, yellow, and red. Something about the way that red one looked though, it felt off. It didn’t have anything to do with what happened to me, though. I don’t know why I brought that up. Huh. So there I was, sorting out my little itty bitty houses and stores around this big ol’ courthouse, my cat wandering around somewhere, and I remember the piece of paper! I thought I left it in a coat, obviously, but when I went to check for it, it was already in my pants pocket! So I thought, well that’s weird, but I figured I had worn the same pair of pants a few times over and just never took it out. So I unfold it, and turns out it’s a little pamphlet! About the size of my hand and all yellowed and worn and at least a century old with a big crease down the middle from being folded in half. I left it, alongside the courthouse, with your people up at the front, figured you might want to check it out or exercise it or something. Anyways, I looked at the front and tried to read the title. It was all faded, but I think it said “Care Manual for Unique Antiques”? There were more words below it, but I couldn’t read them. Inside the cover there was a stamp of a library, which struck me as odd. I got really panicked for a second, thinking I had accidentally stolen a library book. But I realized, hey, I bought it and I didn’t know of any libraries going by the name of Joe Hills anywhere around so I was probably off the hook, scott-free. So I start reading it. It wasn’t long, maybe 8 pages total? The font was weird, and the images were sort of wonky-looking, like the cups and spoons being shown couldn’t actually exist. I can’t describe it, but the whole thing felt so off. And there was nothing super weird about the text itself, just about the story behind them and the material sources and stuff like that, but once I reached the page that had my little courthouse on it, and started to read about the type of rock used, something in my room just changed. I can’t describe it, but a shiver went through my whole body and I suddenly felt a pit of some type of fear in my gut. I guess I should mention two very important things. One, I had figurines of people in that town. And two, I don’t live in the middle of nowhere. It’s gonna sound like it when I describe this to you, but I mean that I live at the end of a street. The houses are a bit far apart, and I didn’t know anyone around where I lived, and I felt like I was a million miles away from anybody else sometimes, but I mean this, there were houses there before.
So of course, I finish the page about the deep caves these little gemstones were mined from. Had a lot on how echo-ey and suffocating they are, and how isolated they were when the miners were down there, which felt like a really strange thing to put in a paper on a figurine but who was I to judge? So I turn back to the table, right, and the people were gone from the set! Instantly I think of Jellie- oh, Jellie’s my cat, by the way, and how she probably just stole them for a bit, so I shrug it off. They’re not the main focus of the thingy anyways! The courthouse is just sitting there, and I swear the green gem was glowing or something. But that’s impossible, and I probably was just so freaked out I made that up. And I get the sudden urge to get some fresh air. It just felt so suffocatingly empty out of nowhere so I went to the door as fast as I could. Biggest mistake of my life, I tell ya. I throw it open and there’s nothing. Absolutely nothing. Well, there was grass, maybe, and I thought I could see some trees, but it was just fog. And no houses. I had neighbors! I didn’t know any of their names, and I still don’t, but there were houses and people and lawns and a street and there just weren’t anymore. I never really was afraid of loneliness before, but I just liked the solitude. Not anymore. So of course I grab my phone from my other pocket, and it’s completely dead. It hadn’t been a few minutes ago. I figured the power had gone out, too, so I started to look around at the savannah in front of me. The grass was dead and pale and the few trees I could make out weren’t any I had seen in the neighborhood before. I felt like I was in the middle of the ocean. A desert. It was just so foggy, the mist ate up my feet and started to pick apart my porch, and I think I had a sudden realization that if I didn’t get back inside and lock the door right away, that house wasn’t going to exist for much longer either. So I slammed the door behind me. It was a long time before I moved from the corner of my room. It was so terrible, being alone for that long. You’d think I wouldn’t be all that bothered by it, but when there’s only the sounds of your own breathing and creaking of the floorboards under your weight, it gets to you, man. I was scared. At some point I realized I hadn’t seen Jellie in a while, but I think I was just so overwhelmed with the loneliness it just kinda melted away. I don’t know what stopped it, in the end. I couldn’t tell how much time had passed. The sun just started shining through my curtains and I cried. For a long time, actually. Don’t tell anyone, though.
I heard a familiar whreeep [Scar imitating a cat purr poorly] outside the door, and I nearly jabbed my cane through the drywall in shock. I assumed everyone was, y’know, dead? I mean, everything around you disappears for goodness knows how long, what else was I gonna think? So there Jellie was, and she looked fine! Not even upset that I had missed some meals. And that really struck me as odd because she is just the pickiest little cat. Oh, I want some food now and oh, I want outside time now and oh, I’m tired of being outside and oh why won’t anyone cuddle me and- ok I’m getting sidetracked here. So, she would usually be upset if I had missed a meal. But she wasn’t! Now I was wondering what the HECK happened to all the people who disappeared. And I realize I hadn’t even checked outside yet! So I get to the door and throw it open and there’s the neighborhood! The houses and cars are all there and I think there might’ve even been some people taking dogs for walks? Point is, everyone was back. I bet I looked absolutely insane, some random guy with eyebags and a cane staring at the street. I didn’t know what to do with myself, after that. I tried to burn the paper, obviously, but it didn’t light. I checked a calendar, too, and apparently 4 days had passed, because it was November second! Yesterday, actually. After I got myself all together and wasn’t shaking as much, I drove right on over here to give a statement! Just, I know someone who gave one and figured it fit right on in here! Apparently really helped to talk it out, too. I’m moving, by the way. Just started looking for a new house. I can’t stand to look at the walls of my room any longer. So, that’s my story! Pretty wild, huh? Do I just… stop talking?
[GRIAN]
Statement ends.
[click]
[click]
[GRIAN]
I had some assistants do a bit of research into this case, obviously. Scar left his address with us and all of the residential details seem to match up. He does live at the end of a road, Sandshore Lane, and listing websites show he has just put the house up for sale. No reason was posted as to why, and the price is shockingly low. This really surprises me, I know Scar from a few business deals years ago and he’s not one to miss out on money. I’m inclined to believe him just for that. He did drop off both of the items mentioned at the front desk, and I believe those are still firmly in artifact storage. Not particularly interested in giving that pamphlet a read, to be frank. Not in the mood to be isolated from all other life today. We tried to talk with a few of his neighbors, but nobody wanted to tell us where they were during their week. Rude. I might continue to pry just in case we see any similar incidents appearing later, but for now I think it’s best to leave this one. No reason to explore a follow-up, so that wraps this case up nice and neat. I’m concerned about the appearance of a library book and artifact link, I’ve not seen many of those before and it might be a good idea for me to rustle around in the Archives to see if there are any others that connect to this, especially relating to the same pamphlet. End recording.
[click]
#moss writing#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar#grian#grian minecraft#secret life#secret life smp#trafficblr#mcyt writer#traffic fic#fanfiction#writers on tumblr#desertduo#life series#life series au#traffic smp#lifesmp#gtws#mcyt fic#tw isolation#jellie#jellie cat#joe hills#<- hes mentioned ok it counts
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hiya zak!!! it's 2am and i can't stop thinking about it- but if you had the chance to write how luke gets cured of his illness in canon, how would you do it? (eg. via "surgery, but there's risks"/"oh we found a magical anecdote to your illness, yippee!...etc etc)
hiya "anon" hehe >:3c!!!! first off, thank you for this ask cuz it's super interesting. my answer to this is rather specific and looks bad at first but Trust Me and hear me out on this alright
if i had the chance to write how luke gets cured, i wouldnt make him 100% cured. medically (and this is very vague because im not a doctor), i would make it so that maybe new medication or a new treatment plan is found that makes his illness no longer terminal, but chronic. the new treatment has to be taken regularly as maintenance, along with regular diagnostic tests like EEGs and regular check ups with aaron. the new treatment would also come with a lot of side effects like mood swings, fatigue, nausea, etc.
basically: i dont want him to be cured, but i obviously dont want him to die. however, i want him to have to fight this for the rest of his long life.
it'll be an arduous process, one that never ends, but one he has to get through. and one he dedicates himself to do every day, because it's worth it, because it's worth life,
because he's worth life.
why do i want this? well, first off, it's because i'd love to see more chronic physical illness representation in fiction. it's not always clear cut with illnesses, and sometimes there Isnt a grand cure and it's more like an endless slog of maintenance
second off, i will repeat something i said in a previous ask i answered about luke's illness, but a sudden and 100% cure feels like a too-neat deus ex machina to me, narratively. his illness has been shown to be as Very lethal and Very painful and Very hard to treat, so for all of that to suddenly go away, well....the writing would feel a tad cheap to me if it were that easy.
and third off, because it'd fit well with the themes of luke's stories and luke's character
actually, let me go back to that previous ask i linked because im gonna copy paste a whole lot from it HAHA since my view hasnt changed since i wrote it. in that last ask i say:
in general with stories, i am less drawn to super neat resolutions and im more drawn to resolutions that are more like “and things werent perfect and they never will be, there will always be problems, but our characters will be okay and theyll keep getting better and better, and it’s in this push and pull of struggle and learning and progress and getting through where their happiness lies”
ever since luke was a kid, even before he developed his condition, hes had the fear of being a burden to his loved ones. and when he does get his terminal condition, this fear is worsened and he starts to see his existence in other people’s lives as a whole as a burden of pain and grief that isnt worth the trouble. and…i dunno, i just like the idea of him continuing to live but also continuing to have these problems that still spark fear inside of him and still take so much work to manage every day. and out of habit, he braces himself for pain, not just for the kind his condition gives him but from Life because Surely, His Loved Ones Will Get Tired Of All Of This, Of Him and The Problems He Comes With, Right?
but surprise surprise, they dont. because they care about him. because this should not and is not a dealbreaker for them continuing to care about him.
aaron creates treatment thats more on the preventative maintenance meds angle so luke doesnt have to just wait for a pain episode to pop up and then dry swallow painkillers every time. it’s not infallible , but sometimes luke can have hours, even a whole a day sometimes where the pain hes bracing himself for doesnt come.
mc always reminds luke to take his meds whenever luke gets too busy or caught up in a case. he worries at first that it’s an inconvenience to her for her to have to remember his routines for him just in case, but that worry becomes quieter as luke realizes she reminds him in the same tone as she says “good morning” or “have you had lunch yet? wanna join me?”, just this casual and loving thing thats now integrated into both their lives
the team are always ready to help too in their own way. when luke gets a pain episode in hq, marius offers distraction in the form of idle chatter on (harmless) internal pax gossip while luke waits for his painkillers to dull down the stinging. when luke feels uncomfortable tingling crawling across his whole body while out with vyn, vyn subtly helps luke move from a crowded area to a quieter one where outside stimuli cant further overwhelm luke’s senses. when it’s a bad grip strength day and all luke wants to do is punch something and fuck his useless hands up even more, artem tells luke about custom silicone grips that exist for things like pens or knives or such and that they could look for some next time they go shopping.
it is not perfect. but luke’s life, even with the pain, is still worth living. everybody is trying to help and eventually, luke learns how to start helping him self along with them too.
in summary: i think luke is a fighter. i do wish he had less battles to fight, but one battle that is important for him to fight is the fight to believe that he is worth living and worth joy in spite of it all
so if i had my way, i'd write him having to manage his illness for the rest of his life
and i'd also write him having a full and happy life while doing that anyway
thank you for the ask!! :'D
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Ok, Feldup recs post!
Mostly my opinion (which is wildly positive) on his most recent album, Stared at from a Distance.
youtube
Warnings, this entire album talks about Feldup's SA from a woman twice his age. It's hard to listen to, it was hard to listen to for me, who suffered through no such experiences and isn't triggered, squicked or made uncomfortable by many things.
First, I'd advise that you listen to the entire album all at once (which breaks throughout if needed), in order and with lyrics (there are subtitles in the linked video). I promise it's worth it. Now for my favorite songs :
Stared at from a Distance (2nd track, 12:06), is obviously incredible and one of my faves. It's pretty long and is way more explicit on what it's talking about than Waters (4:55), the first track (which I really liked too, the music video for it is excellently made as well). I really love the way the instrumental and beat switches throughout to accompany the story, and the end of the song made me think I was going to cry (I just needed to sneeze but tbh it's still crying material). Really good, if you listen to only one song in the album I think it should be this one. (Side note, I'm also wondering if I didn't hear part of that song when I was at Feldup's concert - it was before the album was out, but you know. I don't think I heard all of it, but maybe I just forgot).
Naked and Afraid (3rd track, 3:11) is very good and picks up very well after the second track. It makes you understand that this album really is a story you're following, and you're going to get every detail of it. The following track, Dizzy (4:11) is transitioned to so well I thought it was the same song (it's also excellent), and Fear of Abandonment (4:07) right after is like. Painful. /pos
Shove it (6th track, 03:39) is honestly terrifying to listen to, and it works very well for its subject. I don't even have much to talk about for this one, it's just really good. The 7th track, Moment of Sobriety (5:30) managed to be even scarier, because of how real it gets then (if that makes sense. The whole album is painfully real, and it reminds you of this regularly).
Crying as a Weapon (8th track, 5:20) is where I had to take a break. I think it might be one of the most relatable songs for many people who were abused, not just sexually.
Death of an Illusion (9th track, 10:23) is the other very long track of this album and it is, unsurprisingly, incredible, and one of my absolute favorites. It's also one I could relate to a lot, and its progression is very satisfying. It Never Leaves (9:09) is similar to Death of an Illusion, its continuity, and its ending made me incredibly happy.
The last one, To Love Again (4:49), is the song I enjoyed the less, musically speaking, but one of my favorites nevertheless, and a perfect ending for the album in my opinion. It also has a shift in the... well, not the narration, but I guess the message, somewhat (trying not to spoil because it's so incredible to realize to me), which entirely convinced me this is actually my favorite album of all time construction-wise.
In conclusion, Oh My Fucking God this is so incredible.
Feldup is a great person who writes incredible texts and makes excellent music. The constructions of his songs and the way his story is told throughout eleven tracks is beautiful and heartbreaking and hopeful, and it genuinely is currently changing my brain chemistry /hj. It is so good. It's on Spotify and Bandcamp for sure, and I think it's on most other streaming services, and you still have the Youtube video I linked at the top. Please give it a try.
I'll quickly give my favorite songs from his other album, A Thousand Doors, Just One Key, but they're all really good too : Falling Apart (2nd track, 4:08) which is his most known song as far as I'm aware and is a fucking banger from the first notes, Mental Health (6th, 4:25), Attention (3rd, 3:54), and Stockholm (10th, 11:21), which holds one of my favorite lyrics ever (There is no cure/I am the disease).
Anyways, have a good day or night, stream Feldup's music.
#feldup#stared at from a distance#a thousand doors just one key#falling apart#music#music recs#alternative rock#indie rock#indie music#french artist#french musician#france#queer artist#Youtube
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Hello, Andrew here. This blog article was sent to me and I can assure you that this is not correct information but a reaction likely of those who were involved. This information likely stems from previous MoM or HM themselves, I guess, seeing that they have been banned properly recently (which I am only stating because you already stated it yourself, otherwise I would not give away who is or is not banned)
When I took over I made it very clear in an NB post that the harrassment of users, witch hunt on site, and generally toxic and disrespectful behaviour needs to stop. Everyone is more than welcome to share opinions, but this was not that, this was simply insanely rude behaviour that was based on wrong information given by the MoM/HM to the other leaders of WoP, who then compiled their letter. Which is also the reason why after all of this these other site leaders were put back into their positions after everything was cleared up.
I have banned a total of 4 people from 800-900 actives at the time for continuing their disrespectful behaviour and outright slandering (one of them later on) despite my very clear warning in the article (I was surprised that it was only so few, but almost everyone was just glad to be able to enjoy the website again). I also made an effort to respond to each single comment transparently and open minded. Many of the people who removed content or joined that group hype have talked to me, told me their opinions, and gave me the opportunity to work on their missing trust together. I am on good terms with almost all of the old staff with maybe 5 exceptions (MoM, HM for being the reason this went down and one old staff on bad terms; the other two people I am neutral towards as I never spoke with them and don't know their thoughts) Every old staff member who reached out to me has their own experiences and opinioms and don't always agree with me, but they are more than valued and often play important roles in our staff as well - whether student or grad. In fact, I really enjoyed every single talk with them and appreciate anyone who reached out despite their fear of rejection, as that takes a lot of courage
The old MoM and HM were banned later on, yes, you can feel free to ask them for the exact reason I put in. The previous behaviour of theirs is unwelcome on site, and they created a horrible environment for people at the time this happened, just because of a "money grabbing" feature that was completely changed back anyway for other reasons. One of them was still logging in on alt for reasons I don't really understand, because they made sure everyone knew their hate towards Dan and the site. So why log in almost regularly even after almost a year? I guess I know why ,but that is just an assumption, so I will not voice it here
Aside from that, if you paid attention to the site development, you would also see that since then (but not because of that), new users got free VIP, people with jobs get discount, linking accounts gets a whole 50% discount, and such
I am mostly replying to clear some things up because I don't enjoy reactions that are based on false facts. I wanted to stay on WoP US as a temporary solution, but the community has been loving and welcoming, which was really unexpected considering the circumstances they went through
This is something that happened almost a whole year ago now, I even unbanned one of the 4 bans that took place when I took over, so technically it is only 3
I hope that this could clear up confusion and misunderstanding. I would like to see this message public because I am mostly writing it for the very few that might end up seeing it. Considering the nature of this post, you already made up your mind about me and that is okay. But I want to give my insight first hand, as I don't enjoy someone trying to slander my name based on more accusations of those people who were banned for false accusations in the first place
Magical regards,
Andrew Sutherland (WoP US)
By the way, I am only asking this anonymously because of privacy concerns regarding this account (never use Tumblr anyway)
Added in a later message:
"Andrew here again, please add this xD I saw that you have made clarifications regarding there possibly being more to these accusations, my response was mainly aimed towards the person asking the question, but I do admit that I thought that that message was originally from you, the blog writer, and only saw your response later on (I am not used to tumblr and on phone it doesnt show all on one screen, oops). Just wanted to clarify that as it may explain some wording of mine!"
No hard feelings on my side, thanks for the clarification! If I can share both sides of the story, that is what I want to do and you've allowed me to share yours. It's greatly appreciated and I hope this clears the air a little bit.
NOTE: I can't verify if this person is who they say they are, the anonymous submissions are anonymous to me as well. I have no reason to doubt or suspect that it's someone else writing in their name, but I want to note that with anonymity there is a risk of abuse and impersonation. I don't think that's the case here though.
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I think I may have come up with the best worst tma time travel “fix-it” au (imho)
Inspired by Ketakoshka's 'dread spawn' idea in their dread child jon series, Dribbledscribbles' origin story for the dread powers and extinction entity interpretation in their extinction!jon fic (and some more of the latter in their post-eyepocalypse fic too), as well as my own love for making unholy (aka fun) fusions of things and sandboxing eldritch interactions with the 'mundane' . . .
. . . I have created a post-canon, Somewhere Else, time travel ""fix-it"" story that I think might be unique (at least I've never seen any fics like it– but if I'm wrong then please please share the link!! or dm me if it's your own work hehe but no pressure!!)
(mag 160+ spoilers after this point!)
(i'm about to wax poetics here (hopefully coherently)—so you can read the story-ramble OR you can scroll to the TL;DR at the bottom to skip it & spoilers to read the nutshell & see if you're interested :3)
so get this...
The big Change happens right? But this time the Extinction is a bigger player in the game than canon, and ultimately deeply marks Jon throughout the eyepocalypse.
So when the finale happens, since Jon is now connected to the epicenter of the whole show, his 'death' and the panopticon's destruction has the simultaneous effect of baiting the Dread Powers into the Hole (via his voice in the spools of tape)–
and also killing everyone trapped by the Dread Powers in the world via Jon the walking detonator thanks to being entrenched in the Extinction's influence.
—Combining both his best and worst plans and realizing his worst nightmare: killing everyone and spreading the Powers to an unknown number of worlds to wreak even more havoc.
How did this happen?
Simple—but first some backstory for context.
The Extinction was more of a 'lurker', much less "outgoing" than its 'siblings'. And when it was "grandiose", well. . . it tended to leave no survivors. Thus its unrecognition by those like Robert Smirke or Jürgen Leitner.
To go back even further, the Dread entities were originally one cohesive entity with many faces and limbs. Its faces reflected the same developmental complexity as the sources of their manifestation. So those with the most diverse species feeding them held the widest capacities. Namely: the Hunt, End, and Extinction.
But being a singular entity, it didn't mean much.
But as human species' family lines develop and grow more complex cognitive ability, more esoteric Dreads developed, and more faces become more complex. And the Extinction was right there from the beginning as more species died out one by one. Quietly.
(...maybe? 👀)
Over time humans discovered the Powers and bonded with them, then started to classify them. From here, the Dread entity fragmented into Dread entities.
They developed their own 'consciousnesses' distinct from the hive 'mind' they once were. And, eventually, sapience. Self-awareness. Desires. Personalities.
But they were still connected, part of the 'system'.
The Extinction and the Web (newer, but always sapient) are a quirky pair, the Web seeking control over everything and the Extinction seeking ultimate entropy and change upon its catastrophe.
It's hard to distinguish the Extinction exactly, its work misidentified for others with few under its own unique umbrella. Things 'unique' to it get missed due to being a misnomer and not getting clocked.
(But that is the nature of the Dread Powers after all.. being a fragmentation of their original singular mass.)
...
The Extinction represents the fear of disaster that will bring about the end of everything—everything you know, love, need to survive. Everything you built, worked for, hoped for. The destruction of stories and of life, of the very history written by your land—your home.
Your community. Your society. Your species.
You.
Annihilated in totality.
The Extinction represents the fear of those that come after you to replace you—worse than you, different from you. Leaving you and your history and stories (the driver of your continued existence) forgotten forever. The fear of life moving on after you, ignorant and apathetic. Your story meaningless, irrelevant.
Your community's story. Your society's story. Your species' story.
Your story.
Erased and written over.
The Web represents the fear of being controlled, fate being out of your hands—by malevolent authorities out of reach, by abusive companions or relatives, by invisible forces far beyond the human comprehension. Spinning, winding, twisting, pulling each decision in your life made for you. Until destruction of the self by your own hand.
Your struggle for change futile. Your feet following the same path. Your fate determined for you.
You forfeit control—your feet march you to your bitter demise.
The Web represents the fear of being conspired against. Scheming, plotting, planning your downfall. The loss of everything you hold dear, worked for, bled for. Spinning, twisting, scripting lies about you. Your credibility falls to pieces, your world shatters, and your story distorts.
You are kept alive by the spreading of your story. And the people have decided to trust the manufactured tale.
You are forgotten—twisted into an image of something wrong.
...
Sometimes they're at odds. Where one seeks to manipulate the threads of everything endlessly, the other seeks to destroy it all so thoroughly, with such finality, as to mutate it– the schemes, the pawns, the gameboard itself.
Sometimes they're complementary. Where you watch as you lose everyone you cared for one by one, spiraling down a path darker into entropy, the irreversible nightmare, and wondering if you ever really had free will in the first place– if anyone did.
What if the end for you really was just another game to them? What if this wasn't their first round? What if you're just the next step in the grand scheme, larger than even your own universe?
Alright, now with that out of the way, let's bring back the question.
How did the Extinction change Jon, and how did this cause the altered result of the finale?
The Web has been there since the near beginning, pulling Jon along and guiding him to his next milestone in the plot. She had known the world would come to an end one way or another, and wanted to bring it about on her own terms so that she—they all—could escape it.
So when the Web saw what the Eye was doing, she had an idea. So she aided their acolytes, seeing her sibling as the perfect way to bring all of them together for the final step. And the Web set her own card onto the board: Jon.
Jon had a natural disposition for the Eye; from stubborn curiosity to the reckless pursuit for answers to even the coldest cases. Whether he knows it or not, his mind is a gaping maw for horrible knowledge—chasing after experiences disguised as answers to his burning questions so dreadful they leave scars on him like sigils of a looming doom.
While he has no affinity for the Web's machinations, he is still hers. She has no issue with guiding agents from across the court, she knows how to share. Especially when it benefits her. Jon archives each event, every little detail, with such care and readiness that he makes the perfect vessel to pull them in—to guide them out. He'd flourish best as her tool in the Watcher's sphere.
After the Watcher's Crown and the Dread Powers came into the world, the Extinction started to make its presence known. It seeped into other Domains and fed on the people's dread for permanent catastrophic change, on their fear of ruin and total desctruction. And as Jon traversed them and lived through their fear, so was he marked by the Extinction.
It seeped into his skin like oil and burned through his veins like acid. It tainted his trails with the radioactivity of human hubris and greed, twisting and mutating both the mundane and Dreadful as he passed. It closed its grasp on him with the tightness plastic rings and infected his Perceived routes with the stench of mountainous landfill and the thickness of city smog.
The Web and the Extinction had a complex relationship, but in this moment they guided the Archivist in synchronous song like a soldier being led to his final mission: dropping the nuclear bomb.
Did Jon know?
...
No.
The twines of manipulation layer labyrinthine over everything, above and below and through every angle and dimension. Even the Nigh-Omniscient Antichrist and his All-Knowing God will never fathom its depths.
He might never know that he helped start the Extinction's ritual: Raze the Earth.
Or that both the Web and the Eye knew and did nothing.
(honestly, the latter's only there for the show)
So when Martin stabbed Jon and Melanie lit the gas mainline, the threads around the world snapped and the glowing light of humanity's greatest sins exploded over everything—
—and they prayed—
—and they wept—
—and the Dreads rushed out torrentially.
(pulling a few strays with them)
Now for the part you were all waiting for (well I was)—the Heart of this AU
The Dread Powers and the ones who were dragged with them were transported Somewhere Else– a parallel world in a parallel universe. But they were. . . Changed from their previous/original selves.
The tag-alongs—Martin & Jon of course, but also Annabelle Cane, Oliver Banks, Simon Fairchild, and Arthur Nolan—replaced their parallels at birth, and gained partial or full amnesia to their past lives. But their personalities are altered, reflecting some aspects of their pre-finale personalities.
Except for Jon. Jon, the Pupil of the Eye, the Warhead of the Extinction, the Spools of the Web, the Archive of the Dreads and linchpin to their escape. . . was significantly destroyed in the center of the storm. He got it and so much worse—a stick so short its existence was inverted.
While they did get reach the new universe, they had to reconstruct their linchpin/Archive that they're still connected to so that his total destruction doesn't tear them apart as well (being an Extinction avatar that's now deeply connected with them, he's capable of "taking them down with him").
When Jon was reborn, he was literally thrown into the world like a meteorite, landing with an explosive blast that rendered the surrounding area a lifeless wasteland in moments. High radioactivity and a deathly curse left few flora or fauna returning before wasting away soon after. Those that 'survived' did so by being infected by the Extinction or Corruption.
It would permanently remain uninhabitable, and it would take months before the withered stillborn spawn of the sapient eldritch Dread Entities would crawl out of the jagged crater on its own, none the wiser to its tragedies.
TL;DR
The Web manipulated Jon's attempt to put a stop to the Entities' reign, utilizing the Eye's easy influence to help the Dreads escape the world and into a fresh new one before they were also destroyed in the Extinction's "Raze the World" ritual (set up by using Jon to weave toxic-filled veins throughout the world he was traversing that'll explode at once 'grand finale' style).
Jon, now deeply binded to the Entities' purest forms and still an Extinction time-bomb, was mostly destroyed during the trip to Somewhere Else and the Entities had to reconstruct him so his death wouldn't destroy them too. This led to Jon being reborn a near completely different being (with some of him preserved) as functionally the direct spawn of the Dread Powers, replacing his parallel counterpart from the new world.
#yes i made him So Much Worse ur welc <333#if you couldn't tell this is my favorite self-indulgent au#i love jon he's my favorite ragdoll /aff#so sorry for the length i honestly thought it'd be shorter :8#i have a name for this au but it's also the name of a collection of au's so lmk if you have a name for this one specifically!#i'd love to hear any thoughts!#don't be shy but don't feel obligated#tma#tma au#yafc au#yafc-j au#tma time travel au#tma somewhere else#it's not really a 'fix-it' au i'm just used to that being part of the name lol#ig it'll depend where the au goes whether it's a fix-it or just me using jon as a sandboxing dummy#tma jon#jonathan sims#tma entities#jonmartin#to-be#(sorry for the clickbait jonmartin consumers they're not in this post just the au hehe)#tma writing#my writing#god i'm probly gonna cringe at the mess of these tags later but whatever i'm too busy riding my high to care atm#future me's problem#my post
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I wanted to read your au but then i realized that there's lava
Can you explain what's the au about?
Hya there!
This ask made me realize I’ve never really advertised my au here on tumblr aside from posting the chapter links.
EverHearth is a fanfiction written by me about a post seabound/pre crystalized au where Kai is turned into an elemental (like how Nya ‘became the sea’ in seabound) and shenanigans insue.
First thing I wanna clarify, that while Lavashipping (Cole and Kai) is a main focus in this story, I intend to have all of the main 6 addressed and be the focal point of their own subplots.
So here we go!
The main plot of the au take place in a period between the ending of seabound and the start of crystalized. The big change is that we’ve already had the year long time skip from the end of seabound and gotten Nya back, but what’s different this time is that the ninja weren’t cause stealing the forbidden scroll. So while the police are looking for who did it, we have a point in the story now between getting Nya back and the ninja getting arrested, thus pushing back the official start of the crystalized plot (which may or may not change in this au 👀)
Ok that’s the technical shit dealt with, now to the lore.
It’s been a few months since the team got Nya back, and with this strange period of peace in comparison to their normally hectic ninja schedule, the team takes the time to spend it together and start taking all sorts of jobs around the continent (at least until the next big bad comes along).
During this time, all six of the ninja kinda start taking time to unpack some of their issues.
Jay almost drowned when Wojira was on her rampage and it had pretty devastating effects on his health, (not to mention uncovered some traumatic memories with a certain Jinn)
Nya is still recovering from her extended stay in the sea, with many of her memories still disorganized and blurry. She’s mostly been trying to keep an eye out on Jay out of anxiety (cause we all know what happened last time). Unfortunately, the whole mess also uncovered some memories of a nasty Jinn for her too
(NOTE: In this AU, Jay and Nya are the only ones who remember the alternate timeline)
Zane has been avoiding his issues with the never realm and the forbidden scroll for a little over a year now, still stuck with the anxiety of using his powers in fear of somehow ‘loosing control’. At least he’s finally taking the time to reflect on everything that happened with that now!
Lloyd through the course of time from all the way back to the end of MotO up to present day has been looking for any sign of his father. Less-so out of some kind of desperation to get his dad back and more-so in the ‘I’m gonna find you, beat the crap out of you, and then forcefully trauma dump everything you’ve done to me onto you so amnesia or not you know just how shit of a person you are’ kind of way. But after loosing Nya and finally getting her back, Lloyd realized he shouldn’t waste time on people no longer in his life, and focus on who he still has.
And then we get to the two ‘stars’ of the show (cough the ones I smack with the ouch stick a few hundred more times than the others)
Kai and Cole don’t directly have any pressing issues popping up as the team travels around the continent, aside from recovering from the team’s split up and getting the water ninja back.
Maybe it’s because of the combination of the absence of other concerns and the intense emotional toll of gaining back a loved one that had yet to fade, but the two slowly began to confide in eachother.
Until, of course, when shit hits the fan.
THATS ALL IM SHARING HERE FOLKS! If you want to learn more, check out the fic on AO3!
I’ll probably make a post in the future going into more detail about the OC content I’ve added into the story (mostly world building, some power system additions, and some unique background characters)
Until then, have fun!
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Blood & Wine
What a tragedy, right?
Well, yeah, being a smart woman surrounded by a bunch of absolutely stupid men sucks ass.
This chapter was ready long ago but then recent discussion that i had in my class where three boys (feels wrong calling them men) tried to mensplain to me how PTSD (does not) affects soldiers and how it is not a big deal and "not everyone will become a psychopath" (???) happened.
Not them getting mad at me for bringing up domestic violence against women and how PTSD and taboo of mental disorders amongst men might affect many women... Embarrassing.
Thank you to @cloudofbutterflies92 and @chloekistune for listening to me ramble whole evening about that whole situation. You are the best. ❤
P. S. Yes, I'm still in my Schmalgauzen era.
"And you are the beginning written from the end
Or centuries wrapped in the moon
Or the star that shines in the eyes
Or words written in books"
Being a woman and a civilian at that on a military base is an... experience, to say the least. Being catcalled, ogled as if you're a piece of meat is nothing new to Red in a world where men think they have any right to women's autonomy.
But here, in a male-predominant space, it feels weird. Different. Other soldiers know how Red is linked to the famous Task Force 141 and yet... sometimes it doesn't stop them from dropping by her office, which was generously given to her as her own space by Captain Price, on the base. She is not their psychologist, but that empathy that runs deep within her cannot just ask those soldiers to leave. It won't hurt her to listen to them talk about their issues, will it?
There are not many of them and usually they come to ask for advice about how to deal with stress, etc. Those are respectful.
But then there are the ones who come to get Red's number. The brave ones. After Red politely asks them to back off and goes to mind her own business, those men usually back off. But that doesn't stop them from catcalling her or calling her names because "how dare that lowly civilian whore refuse to go out with me!" Yeah, yeah. Nothing new.
The thing these soldiers forget is that Task Force 141 is... lurking. And especially the Lieutenant. Ghost sees and hears things and is feared for that.
He's usually away, working, training, doing his thing, but sometimes in the breaks, he just seeks out the psychologist in her office to sit in silence. Or maybe to discuss a few work-related things, or not work-related. Ghost prefers it to be work-related, but sometimes he just misses being a simple human being, he misses the peace of just sitting doing nothing.
Once again he is just sitting in the psychologist's office, looking at her sorting the papers.
"What documents are you struggling with now?" Ghost asked nonchalantly, seeing Red's face looking serious.
"Love letter." Red doesn't even want to explain.
"Love letter? Is it a joke, Red?" Ghost looks at the woman, confused by her answer. When the girl's face didn't change, he understood it was a clear answer.
"I knew some soldiers here were infatuated with you, but never thought it would be to this extent," the Lieutenant shrugs, curious about what is said in that letter.
What Red doesn't know (or persuades herself not to notice) is that Ghost keeps an eye on her, on Task Force's precious psychologist. He doesn't let soldiers just catcall her and act all macho as if they didn't just harass a woman. He's protective. All of them are. And sometimes when he is not close, someone else is. Soap, for example. Or Gaz. Or Price.
This job is dangerous even for a simple civilian like Red. In the place where she is among people who fight with evil every day, she feels like she was pushed into a lion's den. Irony.
But if thinking about why more than half of those men are here, it is not so ironic. Most men and women in the military don't just enlist for the sole purpose of protecting their country. Many just want to leave things in the past. Bad things. And many were affected by a tragic past so much that they project or just try to gain back control by any means. Even if that means harassing a young civilian woman.
For them, harassment is a cruel game, where they bet on who will have that piece of meat that some call a woman. What a tragedy, isn't it? To feel unsafe where you should feel safe.
But all Red feels is... fatigue. Being surrounded by idiots is nothing new. Being mansplained is nothing new either. Being made fun of because you're a smart woman is almost an everyday occurrence. So... nothing new. What a tragedy, right?
Sometimes she just pretends to be dumb to get rid of unwanted attention. It's funny hearing some soldiers or even civilians talking about mental disorders as if they know enough to discuss those. Funny hearing those people comparing those struggling with PTSD to those who have psychopathy. Funny and sad. And they talk so confidently, as if they read the ICD-11 just yesterday... or the DSM-5. Sometimes it's better to silently watch them mansplain how psychology works because surely most of them might need rehabilitation in the next few years. Being a soldier is not easy. Oh, the irony....
"Red, you know you can talk to me or any of the team if you get uncomfortable with the attention?" Lieutenant's voice is low, soft, as if he doesn't want to scare her away.
"It's fine! I'm a big girl, I can deal with it." Red only shakes her head. She is a big girl indeed in a big world full of big men. She is just a girl.
"Doesn't look like it." Ghost shrugs, leaning back on her office couch. "Those soldiers, those men - they have no honor. They see someone weaker and think it is fine to harass them." The anger is felt in his tone, and Red understands a simple truth: Lieutenant speaks from personal experience.
But she wouldn't dare to ask. Not now. Maybe one day he will trust her enough to share his story. But for now, it is enough for her to sit in silence with him.
Tag list: @cloudofbutterflies92 @chloekistune @justasmolbard @kikiharinezumi
#blood & wine#blood & wine series#cod self insert (maybe)#cod oc#self insert: red#self insert#oc:red#Spotify
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Flufftober Day 24: 🫠 ~ Aemond Targaryen/OC [1,719 words]
My Flufftober '23 masterpost can be found here 💜✨
Jeyne endeavoured, as a rule, to take all things in her stride. Court life. The constant scrutiny of the ladies within said court. Her brother-by-law. All of those things she accepted, sometimes even with a sense of humour, but the heatwave that hit the capital was doing its best to really test that principle.
There was just something different about the heat – here, away from where she’d previously lived her whole life. From her experience, castles were often cool and draughty even when they hit, but the Red Keep was different. Constantly humid. That fact was unhelped by the amount of bodies packed within, and soon the smell of sweat mingled with overpowering perfume and pomade had her feeling nauseous whenever she was indoors.
But the outdoors were not much of a haven, either. The gardens here were too uniform, too orderly, too constrained for her to find the same sort of solace within as she had in the lands surrounding her family’s home before coming here. Even the nearby ocean seemed in little mood to offer a breeze or two to take the edge off of it, and Jeyne was soon almost tempted to hope for winter. She’d have made a fine Stark…not that she’d ever voice that opinion to her husband. No matter how enjoyable his jealousy often ended up proving, considering his penchant for putting it to good use.
The last thing Westeros needed was her husband feeling Cregan Stark to Vhagar because of a joke she made. The first thing it needed was a break from this damnable heat. And she could only assume it was par for the course as far as King’s Landing was concerned, for Aemond seemed entirely unaffected. Or maybe that was just par for the course as far as Aemond was concerned – for while she was stuck dipping her hand into every fountain she found on her walks through the gardens, barely able to stand the feeling of her hair stuck to the back of her neck, or her dress clinging to her back, he continued to wear his heavy black leathers and trained like a man possessed.
It did nothing to dispel the general consensus that Targaryens were but half a step away from gods.
“How do you fare this eve, wife?” Aemond greeted upon returning to their quarters.
He was already unclasping his jerkin as he spoke, the white shirt beneath clinging to his torso. So he did feel the heat just as she did, then, but simply complained not. Jeyne took his lead – never being one to whine in the first place, even without this between them playing a role. They’d been lucky, one of the few couples to break the mould and have a match of convenience blossom into what was now a loving marriage through and through – not one of tolerance, or even mere friendship. Very lucky. Too lucky, she often feared. And so, while she one meagre complaint could hardly quash what there was between them, she still refrained.
“I’m well,” she offered a smile. “I saw you train today.”
“I saw you saw me train today,” he countered with a smile, casting aside the jerkin and approaching.
Ducking his head, he kissed her softly, fingertips toying with the cuff of the nightgown she’d changed into the moment she’d stepped through the doors of their chambers.
“Many would not, in this heat,” she said, leaning into him despite the humidity. “I worry for you, pushing yourself so in these conditions. You were the only one in the yard.”
Aemond smirked. “Precisely. I improved, while others hid indoors, fanning themselves and chugging down iced pitchers of honeyed milk. And now I outstrip them all the more for it. If I do what others will not, I shall one day do what they cannot.”
“And when they saw you out in the yard today, they’ll all know it,” she murmured. “They’ll all wonder what you’re capable of.”
Her husband’s smirk shifted into a smile, his hand drifting from her cuff to find her fingers instead, entwining them with his.
“However did I find a wife like you?”
“You can’t take the credit,” she teased. “You are not the one who found me.”
“Mm. But I chose you. In the way that mattered.”
Jeyne flushed, hardly knowing what to say to that. He saved her from having to do so, however, when he continued.
“Which is why you should tell me what troubles you?”
“It’s nothing,” she said – and breathed a laugh when he was visibly annoyed by that, amending her words. “It’s nothing serious. The heat – it makes me feel unwell, here in the capital. And it’s a cloudy night, so it won’t even let up a little before morning comes.”
Turning a thoughtful eye to the clouds, Aemond considered them a moment, and Jeyne continued.
“I don’t suppose one of things you can do that others cannot concerns changing the weather?”
A mischievous gleam shone in his violet gaze when it turned back to her.
“Not quite,” he shook his head, “but if the clouds keep us mired in this heat, we must go above the clouds.”
That hadn’t been what she meant at all. But he looked too pleased with himself for her to point it out.
During the course of their betrothal, Aemond had introduced her to Vhagar. Jeyne had thought then, and she knew now, that it had been some manner of test. Not in whether he would wed her – the order, for lack of a gentler term, had more or less already been given to the both of them, and he would do his duty regarding it – but certainly in how he might view her going forward.
She’d been scared. Of course she’d been scared. When face to face with a creature of Vhagar’s size and sheer strength, only a dimwit would not be. But she’d squared her shoulders, steadied her breathing, and followed his instruction on how to greet her – allowing the dragon to take the measure of her first, not flinching when she’d bared her teeth (which were practically the size of Jeyne herself), and finally pressing a shaky hand to her great scaly snout when she was allowed to do so. In hindsight, the teeth-baring was likely a test on Vhagar’s part. Jeyne thanked the old gods and the new that she’d passed on both counts.
But she had never ridden her. Nor any dragon, for that matter.
“You are lucky, my love,” Aemond insisted, extending a hand to pull her up before him as she successfully cleared the long climb up onto his dragon’s back. “Vhagar’s sheer size makes for a smoother ride. Were she Caraxes, you might be right to look so worried.”
Of course, he neglected to see that part of why she appeared so worried was that he’d insisted on her remaining in her nightdress – although he’d conceded to her adding breeches and a cloak to the ensemble, before they snuck out of the Red Keep together. You wish to cool down, do you not? He’d asked, with wickedness in his eye. He’d been right, though, for even in her nightdress, their brisk walk to where Vhagar rested had a sheen of sweat forming about her brow.
The dragon watched her out of the corner of her eye, more curious than threatening, as she summitted her great green back, Aemond urging her to settle before him, her thighs bracketed by his as he reached about her, grasping the ropes that seemed to be more for the purpose of having something to hold onto than actually steering.
“You may use the handholds on the saddle – just there, before you,” he said, before adding smugly into her ear. “Or you could hold onto me. Your choice.”
Jeyne leaned back against him, mostly to reassure herself that she could not go falling back, before setting one hand to the handhold on the saddle, and the other around his wrist. She felt Aemond’s chuckle more than she heard it. And then he called out.
“Sōvēs, Vhagar!”
Vhagar responded. The start was a slow, shuddering thing - because her size made flying no small feat – her great limbs shifting back and forth as she stretched like a cat and rolled her shoulders, sending them up and down atop her back like they’d been caught on a tidal wave. Impossibly large wings batted once, then twice, everything not firmly rooted to the ground sprawling in their wake.
Jeyne’s grip on Aemond’s arm tightened…and then they were flying. It was unsettling – right up until it was thrilling, the lurching instinctive panic and fear giving way swiftly to sheer excitement. There were Targaryens who had never ridden a dragon, and up here? Up here Jeyne could understand why they were so bitter about it.
They soared upwards, the angle plastering her back to his chest, until the glowing capital looked like a village home to a hundred rather than a city home to countless, and then continued further still – the wind ripping at her hair and cloak, threatening to freeze the sweat that had settled on her skin. It was thrilling. Not only for the horrid, humid haze to be cut through and replaced by a bracing, grounding chill, but to discover there was a whole new world up here in the heavens – and to see it, with her own two eyes.
It was better than any dream she’d ever had. The hand that had previously clung to Aemond’s forearm loosened, sliding forth to cover the top of his hand with hers – as if seeking to find out whether he was seeing all of this, too. Vhagar only levelled out when, as promised, they were above the clouds – bathed in dazzling star and moonlight both, fields of unbroken cloud that appeared as white as they would in daylight rolling below them. From there, the dragon seemed content to glide lazily forth with a grace that defied her size.
“What do you think?” he murmured in her ear.
“I want to stay up here forever,” she breathed.
Aemond chuckled, his free hand loosening from the rope to wrap around her waist. “We are to build a castle of our own up here in the heavens, then?”
Oh, how she wished they could.
Listen, if he rides a dragon you gotta write at least one A Whole New World sequence. It's just the law.
Links: AO3 -- FF.net -- flufftober masterpost -- dividers by cafekitsune
#esta's flufftober '23 fills#flufftober2023#flufftober 2023#flufftober#aemond targaryen x oc#aemond targaryen/oc#aemond targaryen fic#aemond targaryen fanfic#hotdfic#house of the dragon fanfic#house of the dragon fanfiction
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Crackpot Theory about Rher and Alll-Mer
[Termina Ending Spoilers]
What if Rher was the Sun God who's soul Alll-Mer absorbed in order to ascend?
Stay with me on this one I think it may have some water.
Everything we know about Ascension is as follows:
1. You need to absorb the soul of an Old God.
That's it for the concrete knowledge.
2. You may also need to already be of divinity because the Girl was the daughter of Le'Garde and the New God Nilvan. We also know All-Mer was the son of a Mortal and some sort of Divinity. As far as I'm aware it's never specified who but I feel it's safe to assume the "False God" was a New God.
From the one Ascension we've seen in the series it was the God of the Depths being absorbed by the Girl. When an Old God's soul is absorbed only some aspects of them are taken under the Ascended God. Depths additionally had dominion over Vermin and Insects. In Termina after Fear and Hunger ascended it now only has dominion over Insects as F&H has taken Vermin.
All of this is to say- What if Rher wasn't just a Moon God Originally?
We know that Rher is "Absent" whatever it means for a God to be absent yet still radiant. Looking at old depictions of Rher in books he looks a bit different to his modern day appearance.
To point out the obvious, The moon is now full. Could this change in appearance be due to the original Soul being absorbed by Alll-Mer and a new* god being created from it? We don't see the new Depths in Termina so it's hard to say for sure.
*New as in the sense that current Rher is a separate being from ancient Rher.
F&H has a whole has a shit ton of influences from the real world. So I think it's fair to use real world symbolism when talking about it. Rher's original form could've been more of a Sun & Moon god. Linking the two together has been a common thing throughout all of human history. Plus that sort of Crescent Moon over Sun imagery is rather common.
[Purely for Illustrative Purposes]
If you where to remove the sun flares from it then old Rher is spot on.
I feel pretty confident in this theory however it has one pretty big flaw I feel the need to point out.
Neither Rher, Alll-Mer or Sulfur's symbols look alike.
My shitty paint drawings cause finding good images of them is annoying me. Also- Sulfur is Alll-Mer's negative essence split off from himself during (maybe before) ascension. Which is why I mention it since it's only really present in one ending.
Bonus I didn't feel fit elsewhere + not strong evidence.
In Battle Rher's appearance shifts again as he gains rings around himself. This evokes images of the Thrones which are a type of angel described in the bible. At their center is their true form surrounded by bright fire (Debatably the fire is around the rings themselves). You know what else is a ball of bright fire? The Sun. Yeah.
Not- The greatest evidence. Still felt like I should mention it.
So let's summarize.
1. Rher's appearance has changed since his Skin Bible was written.
2. Rher's old appearance looks like a crescent moon overlapping a sun.
3. We know vaguely that Alll-Mer absorbed the Sun God's soul in order to ascend.
4. Rher is current "Absent" but still powerful enough to cast spells and rituals in his name.
I feel fairly confident in this theory. It's been scratching at the back of my brain for a few days so I just felt the need to say it. If you have any thoughts / evidence that could Prove/Disprove anything here lemme know.
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OPLA episode 2 - first impressions
I swear, I feel like a screamy fangirl, considering I have watched German One Piece since I was like... 12, quite literally, since it aired in 2003. Even though I haven't consistently read/watched the series, I had a stronger phase in 2011 or so and watching the series now brings a lot of nostalgia back. SPOILERS AHEAD.
I've said it before, but the Romance Dawn Trio is giving me SO much life. I have always had a fondness for OT3 dynamics and the dynamics portrayed here are just... Wow. (I told this a friend, but they actually kinda remind of me of the JJK trio here, but let's not digress.) Again, the whole thing with Zoro and Nami doing their best not to give the impression that they give a damn, just to STILL end up doing everything for Luffy and each other is giving me so many goddamn feelings every. Single. Time. Zoro and Nami have always been infamous for having that "One for you, one for me" dynamic, constantly bickering, always looking for that "equivalent exchange" with, apparently, no strings attached, only gains, no emotional attachment whatsoever... But the one thing they (and all strawhats, really) have in common is that they would move mountains (read: die) for Luffy. And that's where they'll always put their differences aside - the moment they smiled at each other, promising to kick butts of everyone they'd encounter (to eventually save Luffy) side by side, was everything to me. Maybe there aren't a lot of emotions between them, but even if they appear to be on completely different ends of the loyalty/motivation spectrum - there is that thing that links them together and that's just very enjoyable, despite all the bickering. ("There's something way more valuable than diamonds - knowledge!!!") Also, a piece of framing I haven't even REALLY thought about before is really nicely done - the fact that BOTH Zoro and Nami do NOT think highly of pirates at this point in time. So Luffy being Luffy, convincing them that he is indeed different... It makes their developing bond so much more special.
The LuNa scene at the beginning - even if we've already seen them in clips -, is just sending me. Luffy's ADHD energy is beautiful, you can really tell how excited he is - and how easily he attaches himself to his not crewmates. I mean, one of his love languages CLEARLY is physical touch after all (the second one is food sharing) and, again, I just love how natural it is. Or maybe that's just me.
... What is it with the way Zoro's opponents have been oozing with sexual tension towards him so far??? And he's not any better, seriously... I mean, we already have the lone wolf facade CRUMBLING HEAVILY, having Zoro basically CONFESS that "this simpleton in a strawhat" changed his way of thinking within HOURS of having known him.... Be still my ZoLu heart.
I love the foreshadowing in Shanks' portrayal, even as someone who hasn't completely caught up to everything that is happening.
I really enjoy that Buggy is actually portrayed to be terrifying, I think they did find a good middle ground in language usage not being TOO on the nose with everything. But the imminent fear of death is always there and his over-the-top, dramatic acting fits SO well.
Again, I really enjoy Koby's acting, his and Helmeppo's dynamics are great and Garp has been intimidating as well...
Luffy's good-hearted-main-character-energy is still through the roof and I love it. Never stop smiling, my friend.
Fight choreographies and CGI still look high quality to me.
Again, for me it's easy to take this for what it is, I feel heavily reminded of my beloved Digimon stageplay and I've known these characters for years, so my bias should not come as a surprise. But really? I enjoy being catered to and the quality speaks for itself!
NAMI FIXING THE HAT THOUGH!!! God, I love them.
#one piece#one piece live action#one piece liveblog#opla spoilers#opla reaction#one piece spoilers#personal#my two cents
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