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#maybe she was a great person and she never did anything to hurt me ever
lokideservesahug · 11 days
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Perfect pair
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-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-Pairings: Lewis Hamilton x famous!actress!Reader
Warnings: Maybe a swear word or two, idk. There is loads of mentions of dogs so Im sorry if you're allergic :(.
Notes: I saw a tik tok (by the user ayloparis) about celebrities seen on raya, the celeb dating app. And Lewis was just there (middle photo above)!?!? And it stuck in my mind (also Ben Hardy was there aswell, how random).
Summary: When you moved to Monaco, the last thing you expected was your greatest fan and a fan of a race car driver to almost force you to go on a date with said F1 driver. But when you find that same man on a dating app, it doesn't hurt that talk to him; especially because he's so gorgeous.
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Yourusername
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Yourusername: Great awards weekend with an even better ending of going home to my best friend🤍
Liked by hamm4rtim4, thelomlyn and 3,987,091 others
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User1: Girls be saying the most heartfelt, sweetest things ever about someone and that someone ends up being their dog...
↳Yourusername: 😮It's me! I'm girls!
↳User2: Dont blame you tbh. I also love your dog Y/N
User3: One of these days, She'll post a soft launch (it'll never happen)
↳User4: Nothing can ever get rid of her baby from her posts!
Thelomlyn: Y/NNNNNNNN?
↳ Yourusername: You're back!!
↳ Thelomlyn: You know it. Also its probably a stretch but you know you said that you'd trust me with almost anything?
↳ Yourusername: OH no... But yeah?
↳ Thelomly/n: Well a friend of mine (hamm4rtim4) and I think we've found the perfect guy for you
↳ Yourusername: Oh... I'm intrigued. Who do you think this guy perfect for me is then?
↳ Hamm4rtim4: Sir Lewis Hamilton
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Yourusername
📍Circuit de Monaco, Monte Carlo
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Yourusername: What a great weekend! El made a new friend @roscoelovescoco. And well done to his dad @lewishamilton for managing to get the win, it was an amazing race. 🤍
Liked by Lewishamilton, roscoelovescoco and 3,678,905 others
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Roscoelovescoco: It's was lovely's to see's you's!
↳ Yourusername: And it was lovely to see you. Although I think El misses you already. She looks devastated without you!
↳ Roscoelovescoco: Well's we've God's to see's you's soon then!
↳ Yourusername: I wouldn't have it any other way🤍
↳User1: Awww that's so adorable
↳User 2: Lewis x Y/N and Roscoe x El. It's meant to be!!!
Lewishamilton: Thank you for your support (and for dogsitting Roscoe).
↳ Yourusername: Any time. And like I said we'll done, you did truly brilliantly this weekend 🤍
↳ Lewishamilton: ❤
↳User3: And so we're meant to believe that they aren't dating!?!?!?!?
↳User4: Ikr. They make such a good (and attractive pair)
Liked by Lewishamilton
User5: Idk why they hid it. Because if I was dating acadamy award winning actress Y/N Y/L/N, I'd never shut up about it.
Liked by Lewishamilton
↳User6: LEWIS LIKING OMD. That has to be a PR concern? RIGHT!??!?!
Mercedesamgf1: Thank you for all of your support this weekend, glad to see you found the right team to support first time. 🖤
↳ Yourusername: It wasn't difficult when you have a certain Hamilton to convince me!
↳ Mercedesamgf1: 🤨
↳ Yourusername: Yeah Roscoe is the best person in the sport!!!
↳User7: Even admin is suspicious lmao
↳User8: She thinks she's so sly...
User9: I'm just saying if they get together, then their dogs can live together and they can all live happily ever after.
Liked by Lewishamilton, yourusername
User10: Lewis likeing all of the comments about him and Y/N is so unserious yet kinda sweet.
↳User11: Like yeah he wants to show her off and let their dogs have kids as they grow old together (they aren't 100% dating)
↳User12: Awww them growing old together with their little bulldogs is adorable
Liked by yourusername
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Lewishamilton
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Lewishamilton: Thank you everyone for helping me to get in that top step once again. Its been really tough the past few years but by putting lots of time and effort in it clearly payed off.
Thank you to all the mechanics for your endless work. Thank you to Toto for putting up with my constant feedback, thank you George for helping defend and let me keep that top position today. And most importantly, thank you to my 'personal cheerleader' Y/N. Who has helped to support me, bring me joy and just be a beacon of hope throughout the turbulent season start. I love you ❤
Liked by Yourusername, Mercedesamgf1 and 5,897,098 others
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Yourusername: Love you Lew. You're amazing🤍
↳ Lewishamilton: ❤
↳User1: Awww they've been hiding in plain sight (everyone knew)
User2: Shut up that is adorable. And I love the Y/N effect. You can't have a photo dump without El
↳Yourusername: Why would you want to? Unless it has Roscoe in (I love that dog sm)
↳Roscoelovescoco: Awww's I's love's you's too's
Mercedesamgf1: Felling left out rn🥲
↳User3: I love you admin
↳User4: Well done admin
↳Yourusername: We love you admin
↳Mercedesamgf1: Aww thanks guys. Love you more!
User5: Whoever would have expected this!?!?!? Me. I did.
User6: Does this mean we'll get Lewis in a blockbuster film
↳ Yourusername: He can sing, he can dance... question is, can he act?🤔
User7: This is such a random pairing. I love it.
↳ Yourusername: You can thank @thelomlyn and @hamm4rtim4 for that
↳ Lewishamilton: Thank you you two
↳Thelomlyn: I think you just killed @hamm4rtim4. Oh my gosh. This is unreal.
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Thank you for reading! As always, likes, reblogs and especially feedback is always welcome!
Also my inbox is open if you ever have a request!
Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee
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bangchansgirlsblog · 2 months
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The assistant.
**
"Chan?" Her footsteps followed quickly behind him trying to keep up with him as we walked into the dressing rooms.
"Yeah?" He replied dryly as he sat into the makeup artists chair after saying a quick hello.
"You have a meeting with Eunwo and the PR tea-"
"Y/n honestly I don't have time for this right now. You see I have a show in a few minutes and you decide to tell me all this now?" He scoffed and looked up from his phone.
"No Chan it's just that-"
"Just that what? Look your a great assistant and all but your sometimes so uncoordinated. Do you really expect me to remember all the meetings I have?" He glared up at her.
She was wearing her usual knitted sweater, tight pencil skirt and some lofers. Her hair was up in a bun and she held her IPad and Chan's bag one in each hand.
"I'm sorry, it won't happen again," she hung her head low and looked at the floor.
"Good, now go sit on the couch and sit there looking pretty," he stated and went back to scrolling on his phone. Y/n was so confused because he would be so nice to her and then be the worst person to her at the same time. It was so confusing- "oh and for God's sake Y/n what do I say about your sweater? It's ugly, I can't have my assistant walking around in such. Get rid of it. You know what, I'll even take you shopping,"
There it was, his sweet and sour side. Y/n was slowly getting tired of the abusive but at the same time she really didn't mind because she had the biggest crush on her boss. The biggest crush ever since she had join JYP and she walked into their first rehearsals as stray kids.
She basically watched him grow up and her feelings grew even more because of all the time she spent with him. Same hotel, same flight, same car, same house, same office. They were together 24/7 and not once did Chan ever try to make a move on her. He just became more and more bratty and even though she was okay with it, it hurt because she thought that maybe one day he would see her as something more but-
"Y/n get me water please," she heard his voice call for her.
Nope. He wouldn't see her as anything more. She accepted it and she was getting exhausted.
The rooms were all lit and they all had different people in them doing different things so it was very confusing for her to note where what was.
The crowded hallways and the lack of space was slowing her down from completing her task and it was frustrating her. Everyone was busy doing their own thing and wasn't bothering to help her out at all. It was almost like she was invisible.
"Can someone please show me where the water dispensers were set?" She asked anybody that could possibly hear her. No one dared to respond so she finally gave up and went into the other guys' rooms hopeful to find that they had accidentally set all of them there and low and behold a whole box of water was sat in Hyunjin's room.
He was getting his makeup aswell so she quickly slipped in then out. Making sure not to distract anyone and she run down the corridor and back to Chan's room where she found him done with his makeup and was now dressing up.
"Thank you love just drop it over there," he instructed. "Can you go pick up one of my friends from the backstage entrance. Her name is Min-Ji. Giver her this so they can let her in," he passed her another backstage pass with her name on it. His smile was very visible. Was this his new girlfriend?
Who was she? Was she pretty?
These thoughts run through her mind as she walked down the same corridors once again until she made it to the backstage door. She gave one of the body guards a high five with a bright smile and handed him the pass.
"I'm here to pick up Chan's friend," she smiled as she told one of the popular and most familiar guards.
"Oh, Chan has a new friend now?" He teased.
"Yeah I geuss, I've never met her before. Do you see her anywhere out there?"
"I'll have to make a call, one second," he Smiled and made his way back outside making sure to lock the door behind him for safety purposes and after what felt like hours but were actually 10 minutes, he came back with a girl. A really really skinny, pretty girl. Her eyes were perfectly shaped, he body was shaped like an hour glass, her skin was made of glass, her lashes were long and she had such beautiful lips.
She was dressed in a two piece and really looked/smelled good. Y/n was comparing herself so hard. The way she dressed was no way compared to the way this girl was dressed and her beauty was no way near the way this girl looked. Her heart was beating at a fast pace and now she knew that she had no chance against her. She knew Chan would never go for a girl like her when he was right next to whoever this was. It made her sad thinking about it.
"Hey! You must be Chan's assistant," ouch, assistant? Was that all she was? "I'm Min-Ji but everyone calls me Jiji," she smiled and put out her hand for a shake.
"I'm Y/n. The assistant," she shook the hand quickly and led her to Chan's changing room.
"This is really such a big place," Min-Ji commented as they where making their way down the corridors.
"Yeah it is,"
"How long have you been working for Chan?" She asked trying to make conversation.
"About 6 years,"
"Do you have any advice? You know...for me?" That made Y/n start to slow down her pace because what was she trying to say?
"What do you mean?"
"Well you know...I have a big crush on him and he invited me here tonight. Do you know how i can be different? Like catch his eye?" Her cheeks were red from all the blushing she was doing. Probably thinking about all the possible ways her and Chan could be together.
Oh.
"Well, I don't know really. Just be yourself I geuss," Ofcourse such a hot girl like her wanted Chan! It was Chan after all! Ugh! The hot tears started to build as she thought about the situation over and over again. 
"Chan she's here," y/n knocked on the door and slowly pushed it open.
"Ahhh, great! Min-Ji! Hey love," he smiled and moved away from the stylist to give her a hug,
"Hey Channie! Long time no see," she giggled.
"How are you? Please take a seat, I still have a lot before I get ready. Y/n please, get her a drink," Chan said.
"Ofcourse," she smiled through her teeth. Deep down she wanted to die as she watched the two interact and be all touchy. That should be her but..
She's just an assistant.
**
The show was great, everyone was happy with the outcome. Everyone had fun! Everyone enjoyed their time there and now it was wind down time. One of the trickiest parts of the day because everyone was shutting down so everyone was everywhere.
"Y/n you can go now, wait for us outside," Chan said shooing her away. She was shocked at this action. He wanted to spend some alone time with Min-Ji and it was so obvious. The both of them had been whispering and giggling with eachother for the past 30 minutes. It made sense for him to want her out. She wouldn't be surprised if they fucked.
The pain that she felt in her chest turned into anger and the tears that threatened to leave her eyes were not making it any better. Why? Why did she have to go and fall in love with her boss? Why her?
"Y/n!" Someone yelled for her making her jump a little, "what are you doing outside?! Get Chan and let's go!" One of the managers yelled as he walked up the corridor towards her.
"Sir? Sir he's in there with someone-"
"Did we hire you to be standing around all day?! I told you we're on a tight schedule! We should be in a bus right now because we have a flight in less that 4 hours," he run a hand through his hair as he continued to yell at the poor young girl.
"Sir I tried to tell him, but his with-"
"Get him in the bus now. I don't want your excuses," he shoved past her making sure to hit her shoulder. Her hand automatically rub the area. Her feelings were now even more emotional than before.
She had tried warning Chan but instead of understanding Chan yelled at and now she got yelled at again. Was anyone going to actually be nice for once?
She quickly knocked on the door and prayed that Chan wouldn't be pissed off. Maybe he would be in a good mood to be rushed.
"Chan we really need to go! Please just come out," she begged.
"5 more minutes!" He replied.
"Chan we need to go! Mr-" the door swung open and cut her off. Min-Ji came out with her hair a mess and her lipstick everywhere. Her cheeks were flustered as she quickly made her way out and past her. Seeing her like that was the last draw for Y/n as tears slowly started to roll down her cheeks. She looked back inside the room and saw that Chan was fixing himself.
The tears wouldn't stop as she looked at him, analyzing him and trying to find some type of reason to run away and hide.
"Hey, do you think that..." he trailed off as he turned to look at his assistant. Worry quickly filled him as he made his way to her. "Hey? What's wrong?"
Why did he care? Y/n thought.
"Did someone do something? Why are you crying?" He looked down both sides of the corridors and saw that no one was there, so what was really going on?
"N-nothing," she shrugged his hands off her body and made her way inside but was stopped by a hand grabbing her arm.
"I've never seen you cry before so something has to be wrong-"
"I'm just your assistant," she sobbed. Chan was taken back because yes she was his assistant but that's not what she was to him.
"What do you mean?" He asked. His feelings now getting worked up but he couldn't help but ask why? Why was he getting so worked up after seeing her upset.
"Chan just let it be, we're going to be late," she wriggled her hand out of his tight grip and put her iPad inside her bag. She grabbed everything and made sure everything was left in place before grabbing his bag but was quickly stopped again.
"Y/n, love. Tell me what the matter is, I won't tell anyone,"
The tears were heavy as they fell but nevertheless she still had shit to get done and Chan was shocked as to why she was still able to get shit done when she was having a mental breakdown. He felt bad.
"L-let's go," she breathed. Her chest pumping up and down at a high pace.
"Can we talk about what's made you upset?" Chan asked softly.
"Chan not now, please..."
"Later?" He asked hopeful and he got a head shake in response but he was satisfied with it.
"Can you atleast calm down for me? Just breathe," he took a few steps closer until he was towering over her. His hand land by her arms and he rubbed them trying to calm her down. It was working but the intense eye contact he was holding with her was scaring her. Her brain was foggy as she silently got lost into his eyes. Little did she know he was also getting lost in her eyes. He slowly analyzed her facial structure....he found her beautiful? The tension grew as he kept whispering encouraging words so she could calm down
until she did it.
She got on her tippy toes and kissed him he instantly kissed back and when she realized what she was doing she pulled away. Adrenaline run through her body as he looked at her shocked.
"Woah," was all he was able to say to her.
Embarrassment grew in her chest before she knew it she was running out with door. She run to fast that she couldn't hear Chan's calls for her.
She entered the bus and sat in one of the empty sits and covered her head with her hoodie and pretended to sleep.
What the hell was that?
**
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monamourbladie · 8 months
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hi!! <3 im the anon who req the dan heng headcanons.. TYSM IT WAS AMAZING!!! OmG OMG OMG best idea ever. well not best idea ever. but imagine like blade is super distant and cold towards you as he normally is, right? but he secretly likes the reader for plot purposes. but one day, the reader is js like "oh well" and talks to someone else for a change, having fun w the other person instead of blade since blade 'doesnt' like them. would blade just stand there and watch knowing he cant rightfully do anything since it was partly his fault (and he has too much pride for himself), or would he try to get you to talk to him again?
HI ANON AHH tysm for the requests :D i’m glad you enjoyed it so much~! that’s a great idea i was so excited to write this one i tried to write it as fast as possible LOL
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Secretly Loves You - Blade x F!reader
warnings: none~
You had been apart of the Stellaron Hunters for about a year now. You had grown the closest with Silver Wolf, as you both shared an intense love of games. You were picked up from their time on the Xianzhou Luofu for your healing capabilities and quickly became a core member of the crew.
Elio liked you and so did Sam, Silver Wolf adored you and Kafka respected you. But the person who you wanted to like you the most seemed to despise you.
Blade — Kafka’s golden boy (you always swore they had something for each other, but neither ever confirmed it and nobody could guess if they were together or not) Fierceness aside, he was absolute eye candy to you.
Blade was extremely closed off — it’s been like that since day one. It took him months and months to warm up to Silver Wolf (and now he treats her like an irritating little sister that he secretly adores but claims he hates), and even though it’s been almost a full year, you haven’t been able to break through to him just yet.
You didn’t exactly know why. It wasn’t like he was talkative and excitable to everyone else by any means, but he definitely showed at least some kind of enjoyment speaking with people. With you? It seemed like he absolutely hated you.
Maybe it was the fact that he hated being nursed back to health due to him wanting to die so badly. You never understood that, and were just simply doing your job to protect him.
You’ve lost count by now of how many times he complained to you about helping him was unnecessary. It irritated you, but you always smiled at him and told him you were just doing your job.
“I told you, I don’t need your help,” he grunted as you rubbed special Xianzhou healing oils on his back. You bit your lip as you continued to massage it into his skin, “Do you ever not complain?” you said teasingly as you pat his back playfully.
He only grunted in response. He hated having you see him like this. He was shirtless on the med bay table, sitting up with his chest bandage off for once. His upper chest was heavily scarred and destroyed from all the times Jingliu killed him over and over again. The first time you saw those wounds, you were determined to try and heal them so he wasn’t forced to wear as many bandages on the daily.
You were using special Xianzhou healing oils to increase the healing speed — and within a few months, you were noticing small bits of healthier skin, showing it was working.
“Complain all you want, Bladie, but it’s actually working to help you.” He glanced back at her with a glare, “I told you not to call me that, L/n.” His voice was bitter and cold as always to you.
It hurt, but eventually you grew thicker skin to it. It hurt especially because over the months you began to harbor a nasty crush on the immortal man.
Silver Wolf loved to tease you about it, and swore she would help get you two together. But little interactions like these with Blade helped cement in your mind that there was no way he saw you as anything more than an annoying healer.
What you didn’t know was that Blade actually harbored feelings for you, too.
Due to his painful past, he was very adamant about not getting close to anyone again out of fear he’d lose everyone he loves again — especially a lover.
He thought you were absolutely beautiful. He secretly loved the extra attention you were giving him, and although he wanted nothing more than eternal rest, he was thankful that you were giving him a distraction from the pain.
He just had no idea how to tell you. He had a reputation with the Hunters as being the cold and brooding one. He definitely wasn’t sure how to approach a girl he liked and say “Hey, I like you” without feeling like an absolute pathetic fool.
It stayed this way for months. Neither of you saying anything to the other that would let the other know you like each other. Until eventually, a new member on the medical team started to work for the Hunters — a man named Leon.
Leon was everything Blade was hoping he could be for you. He was handsome, he was nice, gentlemanly — he was attentive to you and could speak his heart. You and him quickly became close, and there were even some moments where Leon took care of Blade instead of you.
He absolutely was growing jealous over the man. Some nights Blade wondered if he could just kill Leon and get on with it and swoop you off of your feet, but being a romantic was not Blade’s strong suit by any means.
His final straw finally made him snap to go to Kafka for advice. After his weekly checkup with you, he got home and realized his bandages weren’t tight enough around his chest, so he had to go back to the med bay. As he walked back to the med bay he froze, seeing you kissing Leon from a distance.
He felt his anger consume him and he decided to just deal with the loose bandage and fix it himself. He stormed off as he felt the Mara flare up within him, making him angrier than he normally would’ve been.
Of course you’re moving on. Why wouldn’t you? He never made any move on you to let you know he liked you. Why would you risk waiting around when a perfect man for you was right there?
Blade found himself at Kafka’s door as he knocked. She opened it and frowned seeing Blade angry, “Bladie? What’s wrong?” she asked.
Blade pushed himself in the door and slammed it behind him, huffing in frustration, “Can I just fucking kill Leon already?”
Kafka raised as brow as she motioned for him to sit down on her couch. “You can’t kill the rookie. Why do you want to?”
Blade unbuttoned his shirt and jacket and slid it off of his arms, revealing his bandaged chest. “Can you fix these for me? Y/n’s too busy getting fucked to deal with it.”
Kafka bit her lip as she smirked. “Am i sensing jealousy from you? Over Y/n and the rookie?”
He grumbled as he shook his head, running his fingers through his tousled hair, “Would you just leave it and fix this shit for me?”
Kafka raised her hands in defense as she sat behind him, beginning to unravel the bandages. “You just want it tighter, right?”
“Yes,” he muttered, looking out at the photo of them all on her wall.
Blade, Elio, Sam, Silver Wolf, Kafka, and Y/n were in it. He felt his heart ache seeing her so happy beside Silver Wolf. She looked just as happy in the photo as she did leaning in to kiss Leon.
The image of them kissing was seared in his brain, and it made him angrier the more he thought of it.
Kafka, whose used her Spirit Whisper on Blade long enough to understand when he was angry, rest her hand on his shoulder. “Blade. Talk with me. Why are you so angry right now?” she asked, her voice gentle with him.
He was silent for a moment before realizing this might be his only shot for help. He sighed, “…It’s about Y/n. I… I like her,” he said, his gravelly voice low and soft as he spoke. Kafka was the only person he felt comfortable opening up around.
“And I’m angry that she can’t see that. She knows I have a hard time expressing myself. So why couldn’t she tell?” Kafka unintentionally let out a laugh at his commentary.
He turned around, glancing back at her confused, “You’re laughing at me? Seriously, Kafka?”
“No — it’s just… have you even attempted to tell her that you like her? Everything I ever see, you’re ignoring her, glaring at her when her back is turned, and badmouthing her whenever you’re alone with her and she’s patching you up. It hurts her, Bladie. I refuse to believe that you think you’ve made your feelings clear,” she replied.
Blade blinked in confusion. “But I like her. I don’t treat anyone differently than that.”
“Are you even aware of how many people think we’re dating?” Kafka asked him. “I’m sure she thinks we’re dating, too. She probably gave up and moved on with that rookie.”
“Gave up? Does she like me too?” Blade asked quickly, feeling a slight glimmer of hope. Kafka shrugged, “It’s so obvious. She definitely gave up trying since you made no effort to show you were interested.”
“Well — help me out, what am I supposed to do now? Did I fuck up already and lose her to that damn rookie?” he asked her.
Kafka sighed, sitting back against the couch. “I don’t know. I’d recommend asking her tomorrow and just pray that you have a chance still. I know you really like her.”
Blade grumbled at this and nodded, grasping at his shirt and sliding it back on over his head now that Kafka had finished bandaging him up.
“Yeah, well. I don’t know if I’m that lucky. She was kissing him and seemed to be very happy with it,” he said with a bitter tone. “Thanks.”
“If it comes to it, I can always pull strings and check with Elio-“
“No,” he said firmly, standing up to leave. “I don’t want to know the answer.”
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
The next day sometime after lunch, Blade headed to the cafeteria with his heart pounding. He had never felt this anxious before, not for a long, long time.
Just tell her you like her. She’s just confused, that’s all. It’ll be fine…
He saw you sitting alone at one of the cafeteria benches, obviously on your lunch break. He took in a breath and walked over, sitting across from you.
You looked up from your data pad and smiled, “Hi, Blade. Did you need me to fix your bandages already?” you asked sweetly.
He was embarrassed that he felt his cheeks burn from the kindness in your voice. “No. That won’t be necessary. Kafka fixed them last night.”
Your smile visibly fell a bit and Blade cringed at himself. “Oh, Kafka… right. Well, what did you need?”
“I’m not with Kafka,” he said quickly. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“Wrong idea?” you raised a brow, curious as to where he was going. “Wrong idea about… you and Kafka?” you muttered. He could sense a bit of irritancy on your end at the thought of them together.
“Right. We’re not. But… you and that Rookie. Leon, right? Are you?” he questioned. You seemed surprised that he asked and you let out a soft nervous laugh, “W-well, no… but. I mean, it’s complicated, I guess.” you took a sip of your drink as Blade tensed up.
“I want us to be, because the guy I like really, really doesn’t like me. So I’m just cutting my losses and trying to move on, I guess. It just so happens Leon has an interest in me. I’m just anxious to make the jump,” you confessed. There was no way he’d figure out it was him, so you felt comfortable saying it.
“Don’t,” Blade quickly said. “Don’t date Leon.” You furrowed your brows at him, “I’m sorry, why do you care? As far as I’m aware, you hate being around me. Quite frankly, I’m shocked you’re even speaking to me right now.”
Blade felt offended that you believed so strongly that he hated you. “You think I hate you? Why the hell do you think that?” he questioned.
“Because you’re always so cold and closed off towards me! You always are grumpy whenever you have to speak to me and have me work on you, you’re closed off and never speak to me unless you absolutely have to, and it honestly hurts! I don’t know why you treat me this way, but I’m tired of it.”
Blade felt like a total idiot hearing you open up like that. Kafka really was right…
“I don’t… I don’t hate you,” he said quietly, averting his eyes out of embarrassment. “I like you, Y/n. I just had no idea how to deal with it. I figured you’d just… know.”
You couldn’t help your eyes widen at his confession. “You mean to tell me this entire time I’ve been trying to get over you, you just assumed I knew you liked me?” you gawked.
“Yes?” Blade replied. It was so obvious that he was so, so bad at relationships but clearly was trying hard. You could only giggle at this, shaking your head. “Jesus, Blade, you’re really something, aren’t you?”
Blade wasn’t really so sure how to answer your comment. You started to smile, “So, since you don’t want me to go out with Leon… I’m assuming you want to take me out on a date instead, right?” you asked.
Blade felt his cheeks flush again as he nodded, “I would love to.”
You smiled and stood up, walking over to him and leaning in. “I get off of work in 4 hours. Meet me at my room at 6, okay?” you said, leaning in to kiss his cheek.
You were shocked to see the man actually blush at your action. He looked up at you with a smile and nodded, “…Okay. I’ll see you at 6.”
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literaryavenger · 4 months
Text
Broken - bonus part
Summary: It's been a year since Bucky moved in and now it's his turn to help you, only problem is you won't let him.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: No use of Y/N. Language. A lot of fluff. Eating disorder. Angst.
Word Count: 7.8K
A/N: I made this bonus part to explore more about the eating disorder that was hinted in the first couple of chapters. I had plans to incorporated in the story when I was planning on making it longer, but with how it went it didn't feel like there was a place for it. I'd like to thank @ordelixx for giving me the idea for this additional part. Hope you enjoy it, I'm always open to more ideas so feel free to spam in my inbox or messages, know I always appreciate it! also sorry it took me so long to finish this but I started it and then kind of lost inspiration :(
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
Masterlist
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It’s been a year since Bucky arrived at the tower and about 11 months since his hearing.
As conditioned by his pardon he’s been going to therapy, he’s been training with the team and has been doing more and more missions, on probation, but still he’s been doing better than ever.
Even Tony had to admit that the more time he spent with Bucky the more the super soldier grew on him.
If a few months ago he begrudgingly spent time with the super soldier at your request, if anything to spend time with you too since you’re still inseparable, now Tony actively seeks him out; wanting to study his new vibranium arm, testing his gadgets since he got hurt less easily than the others. Or sometimes simply to talk about things like astronomy after Tony found out about Bucky’s interest in the subject.
They’ve even had a few conversations on Howard and his friendship with the sergeant back in the 40s.
You're proud of all the progress Bucky’s made, and you appreciate the fact that getting more comfortable in the 21st century and becoming more confident didn’t make him pull away from you.
It's a fear you had, that maybe Bucky stuck to you because you were the first person after Steve that made him feel safe, that the more people he got familiar with the more he was gonna pull away from you, not needing you as much anymore.
But, to your delight, Bucky’s still as touchy and clingy towards you as ever, if anything he's grown even more affectionate.
He never lets a day go by without telling you how much he loves you and appreciates you, kissing you any chance he gets and holding you tight every night in the room the two of you have been officially sharing the last few weeks since you’ve all moved to the new Avengers Compound upstate.
You love Bucky’s attention and you’re just as affectionate towards him as he is towards you. Everything was going great.
Until it wasn’t.
You’re on your way to your room, looking forward to seeing Bucky after a full morning of mission reports with Steve and then training with Natasha.
She obviously kicked your ass and you're exhausted, wanting nothing more than to be in his warm embrace for the rest of the day.
Thankfully, it’s friday afternoon and you have no new missions which means your weekend is wide open.
You stop on your tracks when you hear your name being mentioned in a conversation right around the corner.
You recognize one of the voices as Sharon Carter, one of the agents of Shield that lives and works at the compound the Avengers now reside in.
You don’t know why you stop to listen in on the conversation, you’re not really one to eavesdrop, but something about her tone makes your legs refuse to move towards her direction. Which just so happens to be the way towards the Avengers only part of the building.
Your stomach drops when you hear the other girl’s next sentence.
"And can you believe she got Sergeant Barnes to date her?" Sharon groans before answering.
"Of course she did, he was all broken and vulnerable and she was like the first person he met at the tower. He obviously got attached to the first person that was nice to him, otherwise how do you think a girl like her could ever have a chance with him?" she says matter-of-factly. 
"You’re right, I mean he’s probably still with her just out of habit. He’s too nice to hurt her feelings." the other girl says, giggling.
"Exactly." Sharon agrees, laughing with her friend. "I mean, he’d never go for her if he met her today. He’d probably be flirting his way through the actually pretty girls that live around here, like you and me."
You can hear their laughter growing louder as they get closer to where you are frozen on your spot and feel yourself starting to panic.
You can’t face them right now, the only thing on your mind is finding a place to hide in.
You see a door behind you and you sprint to it, reaching it, running inside and closing the door softly in record time. You press your ear up against it and can hear the muffled laughter and some more comments on you and Bucky.
When they’re finally far enough that you can’t hear them, you let yourself relax, pressing your back against the door and looking into the dark closet you’re hiding in while you let their words really sink in, your brain working overtime to make sure you didn’t misheard or misinterpreted anything.
Once you’re sure you indeed heard everything correctly, tears start to form in your eyes.
Is that really what people think? That Bucky’s just with you because he pities you?
You’ve always known Bucky was beautiful, definitely the hottest guy you’ve ever seen in your life, and you’ve always known he was out of your league.
You know you’re by no means thin, but you also don’t consider yourself fat, especially not after all the work that it took you to get to a place where you have a healthy relationship with your body.
Yes, you still have your doubts and insecurities, but that’s just in your head.
Although here you are, hiding in a supply closet, tears streaming down your face, because there are actual people outside of your head that see your flaws too.
One thing is to wonder about this stuff in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep, the voices in your head taking over, but to hear those same thoughts coming out of someone else’s mouth hit you hard.
You don’t even know how long you stay hidden, but at some point you snap out of it and dry your tears, opening the door and making the way to your room.
It feels like only a second passes and then you’re opening the door of yours and Bucky’s room. You make a beeline for the bathroom, barely acknowledging your boyfriend when he greets you as you lock the bathroom door behind you.
Bucky’s eyebrows furrow at your cold shoulder, immediately getting worried. He gets up from the bed and knocks on the door of the bathroom calling out for you. "Everything okay?"
You can hear the concern in his voice and it only makes you feel worse as you find yourself wondering if he’s actually worried or just that good at pretending.
You look at your reflection in the mirror and all of a sudden you feel nauseous but you barely have time to realize it’s not just in your head when you’re suddenly throwing up in the toilet.
Bucky’s more worried than ever as he hears you be sick from the other side of the door. "Doll, I need you to talk to me or I will break down the door."
He knows it may not be the ideal thing to say, but his concern outweighs his rational thinking when you stop making sounds as he still hasn't heard your voice and is worried you might’ve passed out.
"I’m okay." your voice is quiet, but at least you’re conscious. 
"Can you open the door for me, doll?" He can hear you sigh and shuffle a bit, probably getting up. Then he hears the faucet of the sink being turned on as you splash some water on your face.
He’s a little calmer now, patiently waiting for you and he lets out a little breath of relief when he hears the lock click.
You open it reluctantly, trying your best to look normal, but Bucky can see right through you.
"What’s wrong, baby?" he brings his hands to your cheeks and you can’t help but lean into them for a second before you grab his wrists and gently lower his hands, his face more worried than before.
"I’m fine, Bucky." you say, your voice almost emotionless.
"You were just throwing up. You’re not fine." it takes all of him not to reach for you again, not wanting to cross your boundaries.
"It’s nothing. Maybe I’m just sick. I’ll take a shower, it’ll make me feel better." You don’t give him time to respond as you close the door and lock it again, starting the shower.
Bucky feels like he can barely breathe, your behavior making him more worried than he’s been since the 40s and he had to take care of sickly little Steve.
Youìve never acted like this with him, when you were sick or even grumpy from your period you usually became clingy and wanted him around even more than you usually do. But he gives you the benefit of the doubt.
If you were sick this wasn’t the moment to think about himself. He has to take care of you first and he can ask more later you when you're feeling better.
With new resolve he heads towards the kitchen, determined to get everything you might need to make you feel better.
You stay in the shower for over an hour, trying to avoid Bucky as much as you can, but you know you had to get out and face him eventually.
When you come out of the bathroom you find him sitting in the desk chair, the desk full of things you’re pretty sure weren’t there when you entered the room.
Bucky's on his feet and coming towards you in a second, your favorite pair of pajamas in his hand.
"Are you feeling better?" he asks you softly, worry still present on his features.
You can’t bring yourself to look at him, taking the clothes and changing as fast as you can, a small ‘I’m fine’ leaving your lips. 
"What's all of this?" you ask, stepping around him and walking towards the desk.
"Oh, I just brought you some things to make you feel better." He can't help himself as he wraps his arms around you from behind while you look through the things he brought you.
He got you all sorts of pain meds, your favorite snacks and drinks, your heating pad and your favorite comfort book.
You want to cry at the sight, but part of you can't help but doubt Bucky, even with how sweet he’s being.
You snap out of it when you feel Bucky give you a kiss on the shoulder and, suddenly, it all feels fake and it’s too much for you. 
You place your hands on his and move his arms away from you, then start heading towards the bed.
"I’m not hungry. I just want to sleep for a bit." That's all you say as you lay down and turn your back on him, tears threatening to fall down again.
You hear him sigh behind you. Then he moves around and you feel him lay a kiss on your head before he walks out the room shutting the lights on his way, wanting to give you the space you clearly want.
You aren't sure if you're glad you can cry yourself to sleep freely or worried that him walking out solidifies the voices in your head that are telling you that maybe Bucky really doesn’t love you.
When you wake up the next morning Bucky’s arms were wrapped around you from behind.
Usually being in his hold makes you feel safe but right now all you can concentrate on is the feeling of his hands on your belly and how disgusted he would be if he woke up and realized the position you were in, no matter how many times you've been like this.
You slip away from his embrace and go to change into work out clothes. You went to sleep pretty early yesterday so it was still early in the morning when you woke up.
You aren’t expecting to meet anyone yet but, once again, you're proven wrong by the shuffling coming from the kitchen as you make your way to grab a bottle of water.
You approach carefully without making a sound and when you peak around the corner you see Steve, probably back from a morning run, in front of the counter with his back to you and a water bottle in his hand.
You try to move as quietly as possible, even with enhanced hearing your skills have gotten so good you're able to sneak around the super soldiers when needed.
You decide to use the stairs to get to the gym, the door leading to them squeaking lightly. Steve turns around at the sound but seems to decide it was nothing as he shrugs and makes his way to his room.
You’ve been at the gym for a couple of hours, stopping only to grab water from the mini fridge, when the door opens and you hear Bucky’s voice.
"Hey doll, I’ve been looking for you everywhere." His voice sounds genuinely concerned. You have to give him props on his acting skills.
"Yeah, couldn’t sleep." You say without looking at him, barely stopping your punching of the bag in front of you.
"I thought you were sick." he’s slowly getting closer, you’d almost think he was trying to corner a scared animal.
"Clearly I feel better." you shrug, trying to end this conversation as fast as possible.
You feel his hand on your shoulder and finally stop, taking a deep breath before turning to face him.
His face looks more worried than you’ve ever seen it and it almost makes you forget your own concerns about the reality of your relationship.
Almost. 
"Maybe you should go visit Bruce, make sure everything’s okay." his eyes never leave your face and you try your best to hide any emotion but it’s always been too easy for him to read you so you shrug his hand from your shoulder, trying to put a little distance between you.
He looks genuinely hurt, but, again, what would you expect from a trained assassin? Pretending comes as naturally to him as breathing. 
"I’m fine, Bucky." you turn back to the bag and resume your punching. You’re so lost in your own thoughts you don’t even notice him walking out of the gym.
You work out some more before deciding it’s enough and go back to your room, thankful for the first time that Bucky’s not there.
After you shower and change again you find yourself with nothing to do and, for once, you wish you had paperwork to keep you occupied and give you an excuse to avoid everybody.
You grab your purse and make your way out, mumbling something about having errands to run in the city when you come across some people in the living room, basically running out of there so fast you can’t even tell who’s actually there watching tv.
You spend the whole day running around the city, not really having a destination but when the sun starts coming down you decide to head back.
When you enter the living room you can see everyone sitting at the kitchen table.
"Finally, you’re here! We can eat now." Sam shouts happily and you know you can’t escape this.
"Sorry, didn’t realize you were waiting on me." You say quietly while sitting down in the only free chair that’s unfortunately next to Bucky.
"It’s okay, koala bear." Steve smiles from your other side. "Bucky said you weren’t feeling great, so Wanda made your favorite."
You try to look excited while smiling and thanking Wanda as she and Vision place the food on the table. If she notices something is off, she doesn't say anything, just giving you a smile of her own in return.
"Where were you all day?" Tony asks you.
"The city." you simply say, trying to sound as casual as possible while making no attempt to look at him, or make eye contact with anyone else for that matter.
But Tony seems satisfied with your answer, taking your lack of conversation for tiredness and going back to talking to Clint.
You manage to avoid all conversations with nods and hums and you can feel Bucky’s gaze on you almost as it burns but you can’t find it in yourself to look back at him.
When you feel his hand coming to rest on top of yours on the table you feel like something inside you snaps and you get up abruptly, making everybody stop as they give you confused looks.
"Excuse me, I still don’t feel well. I think I’m gonna go to my room and rest." and, without giving anyone the chance to say anything, you walk away.
There’s a second of silence before the team seems to dismiss your behavior as grumpiness from feeling sick, after all the rare times that you do get sick you get very irritable.
Bucky seems to be the only one to notice your untouched food. 
After less than five minutes the door to your room opens and Bucky comes in, finding you sitting on the bed staring at nothing while being clearly lost in your head.
He makes his way to you and kneels down in front of you.
"What’s going on, doll?" He tries his luck again, putting a hand on your knee. He hopes that giving space all day allowed you to come around and now you’ll talk to him.
You prove him wrong by getting up, not even sparing him a glance, and making your way to the closet to try and busy yourself so you won’t have to look at him.
"Nothing." You offer nothing more and Bucky starts getting frustrated with you. 
"What is wrong with you today?" He knows something’s wrong. He knows you better than anyone, and he’s trying to be patient with you but you’ve never acted this cold towards him and it scares him.
"Nothing is wrong." You know you’re pushing it. You know you’re doing nothing to alleviate his worries, but you can’t help the feeling that he’s the one in the wrong.
He’s the one out of line, he’s the one that betrayed your trust and hurt you and toyed with your feelings and lied to you about his own. You had every right to be short with him.
Right?
"Something is obviously wrong, why won’t you just talk to me?!" He almost whines and you roll your eyes, your own unjustified irritation coming out.
"Oh, for the love of God, just give it a rest!" you almost yell, and the surprise you find in yourself is nothing compared to the one on Bucky’s face.
"What?" he’s almost whispering and the hurt in his voice for some reason just infuriates you more.
"Stop treating me like I’m made of glass! Not everyone is as needy as you, you know. I’m a grown ass adult and I don’t need you!" You can’t stop shouting, knowing full well you don’t mean a word you’re saying. But you want to hurt him as much as you’re hurting, as wrong as that is.
"Don’t you think I know that you don’t need me?!" He’s yelling too now, and you know you pushed the right button "I know damn well how strong you are, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still worry about you!"
"I don’t need you to worry about me!"
"Well, that’s too damn bad for you, because I love you and I want you to be okay!" God, even shouting he’s still being nice to you.
"Well, that’s too damn bad for you, because it’s none of your business if I’m okay!" Not the best response, but at this point you honestly have no idea of even control of what’s coming out of your mouth anymore.
"God, why are you being such a child about this?!" Bucky barely understands what’s going on right.
The two of you have never fought before, not so much as an argument, and now here you are in a yelling match that started because he's concerned about you.
"Oh boo freaking hoo, poor Bucky having to deal with a child! If you don’t like me just say so!"
"What the hell are you talking about?!" He’s beyond confused now.
"If you don’t want this," you gesture between the two of you "just leave! Go and find someone you actually like! Don’t stay with me just because you feel like you have to!"
"When did I ever say that? Are you out of your mind?!"
"Yes, I’m crazy! Now just leave me the fuck alone!" you yell at the top of your lungs and Bucky seems to freeze in his spot.
Assuming this is over, you turn around and climb into bed, your back to Bucky once again.
When you hear him sigh and start moving you feel like you’re reliving yesterday, except this time you don’t expect him to kiss you but just leave.
He turns off the lights, but you frown when you don’t hear the door, instead you feel the bed dip behind you. You tense up when Bucky’s arms wrap around you from behind, bringing you closer to him with your back pressed against his chest.
"I will choose you over everyone. Even on the days where we don’t understand each other." He whispers in your ear after a moment of silence and you can’t do anything to stop the tears that start coming out as you feel Bucky holding you tighter without saying another word.
You want to believe him, you really do. But Sharon’s voice in your head is like a net, not allowing you to fall fully into Bucky, not being able to accept that someone like him truly loves you.
So you start spending your days by yourself, avoiding people as much as possible.
Everytime you're in a room with someone all you can think about is how they're probably judging you, making just want to run away and hide.
But isolating yourself does nothing to ease your worries as you now spend all your time overthinking and hating on yourself.
You start pulling away from Bucky too and it's killing him.
You still won't talk to him, everytime you're together you pretend that everything's fine.
You put on a smile he knows is fake, really doing the bare minimum to keep a conversation going and when he touches you he always gets the feeling that you wanted nothing more than to slap his hands away.
But you always try to be discreet as you inch away from him with any excuse that comes to mind.
It's the change in your relationship with Bucky that starts to clue the team in on your behavior.
As much as they have fun giving you shit for it, they all admire your closeness and were happy that you found each other.
So they start paying more attention to you. Everybody can see something's wrong, but if you wouldn’t talk to Bucky about it, really what chance do they have?
It doesn't stop them from worrying though, seeing how you seem to waste away.
You spend too much time in the gym, losing weight at an alarming rate and not getting enough sleep to function, sometimes resulting in you falling asleep during meetings or on the mat at the gym.
But you refuse to let Bruce look at you. You refuse any help really, your temper shorter than ever as you end up snapping at people more often than not.
You try to keep it together, but it's obviously not working. The only thing you manage to do is avoiding meals without anyone noticing.
After weeks on end of this, the team decides to do something to try and cheer you up, taking the opportunity of your birthday coming up.
Steve manages to convince Tony to have a small party, just the team and agents of Shield, instead of one of his big parties full of strangers.
They're careful when they approach you with the subject, having taken to walking on eggshells around you. You can’t help feeling bad for the way you’ve been treating them, so you decide to be cool about the party, even knowing deep down you’ll regret it.
Natasha and Wanda offer to go shopping with you for a new dress for the occasion, but you decline their invitation.
You know they're trying to be nice, but just the thought of going from store to store, seeing all those beautiful, skinny women trying on pretty dresses you’d never be able to fit into, together with the two gorgeous redheads, it sounds like hell to you.
Which is why you ask the team to have a more informal dress code than usual, allowing you to dress as comfortable as you can be at the moment with loose fitting pants and a large hoodie.
You arrive at the party in the ballroom of the compound that Tony just had to have and are thankful to see everyone dress casually, most of the girls not even wearing dresses.
But you still try not to linger too long on their looks, not wanting to feel worse than you already do about your own appearance.
Arms wrap around your body and you hear Bucky wish you a happy birthday.
You give him a few seconds before you wiggle away from the embrace and turn around. You give Bucky your best fake smile and thank him before kissing him quickly on the cheek and walking away towards the bar to get some water.
You don't need to be getting drunk and throwing up more than you already do every time your stomach forces you to eat anything.
You spend the whole night going from person to person, trying not to talk to anyone too long and making sure to always keep moving to avoid too many questions.
You know it's only a matter of time before they start coming. Even Fury is present, worried about you ever since he had to take you off missions for passing out on the field.
Soon came the moment you’d been dreading most: Wanda comes toward you with your favorite cake with candles lit and everybody starts singing.
You know that with being the center of attention you won't be able to get away with not eating and the team would piece things together if you try, having already gone through this years ago.
Honestly, you're a little disappointed nobody had figured it out yet, but not entirely surprised as you told yourself everyone just didn’t care enough.
And why should they when you look the way you do?
Everyone cheers as you blow on the candles, fake smile still going strong. The cake is cut and everyone is enjoying Wanda’s culinary talent. You even manage to eat yours and keep it down without looking disgusted with yourself.
Everything was going great.
You're behind the bar now taking another water bottle from the mini fridge when you accidentally knock over a glass full of straws that was thankfully made of plastic so it didn’t break.
While you're picking up straws you hear footsteps getting close to the bar that hid your kneeling figure and stop what you're doing when you hear Sharon talking about you. Again.
"And did you see how she’s dressed to her own party? No wonder Bucky’s been staying as far away as possible all night." she's basically whispering, but it's still loud enough for you to hear.
"I know, he’s probably ashamed of her. Wouldn’t surprise me if he dumped her tonight." the two girls giggle the sound seems to snap you out of your trance.
You get up so fast you scare Sharon and the other girl, their startled squeals drawing the attention of the rest of the party as everybody prepares for any danger.
But there is no danger, all everybody can see is two mortified looking agents and you with tears in your eyes that you don't even feel starting to fall.
The whole team is worried sick, everybody getting closer to the bar, but Bucky is the one that's at your side before you can even think about blinking the tears away.
"What’s wrong, baby?" he looks so worried, almost like he himself is about to cry at the mere thought of you being in pain.
But that can't be it, that's not what you're seeing.
He's probably just embarrassed you're being overly emotional for no apparent reason, and that look in his eyes is him getting ready to break up with you right here and now.
At that thought you can literally feel the cake you just ate coming back up and all you can do is run as fast as you could towards the nearest bathroom with a very concerned Bucky running after you after silently agreeing with Steve with a single look that he’ll be the one to check on you.
You make it to the toilet just in time to unload, barely registering two hands taking your hair and holding it away from your face.
You finish vomiting and clean your mouth with some toilet paper before throwing it in and flushing it, shuffling your body backwards until your back hits the tub and you close your eyes while resting your head back against it.
You feel your hair falling back down on your shoulders and can make out the sound of the faucet running for a few seconds before you feel a wet towel gently brushing your cheeks and mouth.
You open your eyes and are met with Bucky kneeling in front of you, seemingly examining every inch of your face to try and understand what’s going on.
Before he can ask you for what felt like the thousandth time though, you can't hold yourself back anymore.
"Please don’t leave me." your voice is weak enough already from all the vomiting and the sobs that start coming in certainly don't help.
Tears start to fall like waterfalls but you don't let any of that stop you from going on. "I know I said I didn’t need you, but I do. I need you so much more than you could ever know."
Bucky wraps his arms around you and he's more than relieved when you don't pull away for the first time in weeks.
Instead, you cling to him as you keep pleading with him not to leave you in between broken sobs while he moves you to sit curling on his lap.
Bucky’s heart breaks for you and he wonders if this was how you felt everytime you comforted him, feeling even more in awe of you now that he knows how hard it was to see the person you love like this.
All he wants is to make you feel better and take away all your pain, but he had no idea how.
When you show no signs of calming down after several minutes he decides to try to talk you down, hoping not to make things worse.
"Doll, I need you to calm down." he tries to pull away just enough to look you in the eyes, but you just hug him tighter, almost terrified that he's just gonna get up and leave forever if you let go and you start getting more agitated by the second. 
!Baby, please try to take deep breaths." he's trying really hard not to panic himself now. "I’m not leaving, I promise. I’m staying right here with you, but you need to calm down, please."
Maybe it's because he's basically begging you, maybe it's because of the panic and concern you think you can hear in his voice or maybe it's his grip getting impossibly tight on you that grounds you, but your brain seems to clear just enough to give your body the command and you start trying to take deep breaths.
When you loosen your hold on Bucky he grabs one of your hands and puts it on his chest right over his heart, the steady beating giving you something to concentrate on as you try your best to copy his breathing. 
It takes a few more minutes but you calm down, tears still falling silently down your cheeks while Bucky rubs your back with his metal hand, his other warm hand still over yours on his chest.
"I’m sorry I’m such a mess…" Your voice sounds foreign to your own ears, quiet, full of sadness and desperation.
This isn’t you.
This isn’t the confident, strong woman that kicked ass and defended Bucky even to your own family from day one.
What happened to you?
Unbeknownst to you, Bucky's asking himself the same question.
What happened to the sweet, bright girl that offered him a hug after five seconds of knowing him? The girl that calmed him down from a panic attack and kept him company through the night even after knowing about his past?
The girl that let him hang onto her like a koala and allowed him to let it all out? The girl that was patient with him, understanding and never once judged him, no matter how broken she’d seen him?
He really can't think of anything that could've happened to break you this much, to bring you to basically have a meltdown on a bathroom floor.
But whatever it was he needs to know now, and he's more determined than ever to find out.
"Doll, you’re not a mess. You’re hurting, I can see it. We all can. And I know you’re strong, but everybody needs help once in a while. Whatever’s been happening, you don’t have to go through it alone. Just like you didn’t let me go through anything alone. You were always there for me, you’re always there for everybody." he pauses and you take the moment to spiral further.
This is the only reason why he’s still with you. You were there for him, you cared and comforted him. So he feels the need to stay with you because Bucky’s loyal, no matter what his feelings actually are.
But he’s gonna fall in love one day with someone, and what is that gonna mean for you? He’s gonna leave you to be with the person he actually wants, loyalty or not. Your fall down the rabbit hole is stopped by Bucky’s voice.
"Please let me be there for you. This is killing me, watching you do this to yourself. Please tell me what’s going on, baby, because you’re scaring me so fucking much. Please." he finishes in a whisper.
Before you can even properly process his words, you feel a tear that's not yours fall on your cheek, making your eyes widen and you look up to see Bucky already looking down at you with tears rolling down his cheeks.
Your hand goes up to his face automatically and you feel him lean into it. You sit up straighter on his lap, leaning in to rest your forehead against his and closing your eyes while willing yourself to stop the tears long enough so you can talk.
Bucky doesn't push you, finding comfort in your touch after having missed it for what, in his opinion, is too damn long.
"I’m sorry… I just…" you don't even know how to start to explain it.
Bucky can see you're having a hard time finding the words, so he tries to help by saying "You don’t need to rush it, doll. I don’t want to push you to talk about something you clearly don’t want to... But I’ve just been so worried. You’ve been pushing everyone away, and you don’t sleep and stay at the gym until you almost pass out. You think that I don’t hear you throwing up, but I do. And, even with all your oversized clothes, I can see how much weight you’ve been losing. It’s killing me, baby, I hate to see you like this. I just want to know why." he kisses the side of your head and you're on the verge of tears again.
Trying hard to hold them back, you force yourself to speak. "I heard some people talking about me…" you start, your voice still quiet, and you go on to tell him everything.
The conversation you overheard, the insecurities that it brought to the surface, the issues you had in the past and the struggle you’ve been having the last few weeks.
By the end of it Bucky he doesn't know what to feel. He's enraged, worried sick, sad at how miserable you’ve been. Just to name a few.
But more than anything he's heartbroken at how much you’ve been questioning your relationship with him and his love for you. He's devastated to think that everytime he told you how much he loves you, you doubted him and convinced yourself he was lying.
And the worst part is he has no idea how to change your mind.
Is there anything he can say that you won’t doubt? Anything he can do to show you how much you mean to him? Probably not, but he has to try and make you understand.
Your eyes are still closed, not daring to see the disappointment in Bucky’s face.
"Baby, look at me." he says firmly but gently enough to not make you think he was in any way mad at you.
He waits patiently until you look at him which, after taking a deep breath, you do and only then he continues while taking your face in his hands "There are so many things I want to tell you right now... but I’ll start with I love you, doll. I love you so much it actually hurts. Maybe we got close because you were nice and patient with me, but that’s not why I love you. I love you because you’re kind and smart and strong and dedicated. You can kick ass like no one else and you’re still the sweetest person I’ve ever met. And I’m almost 100, I’ve met a lot of people." he smiles when he finally gets you to giggle, the first real laugh he’s heard from you in weeks.
"You’re compassionate and understanding and loyal and beautiful beyond compare. I fell in love with you because of who you are, not what you look like. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re pretty, I think you’re gorgeous and I love your body. I love everything about you. Every. Single. Thing." he punctuates every word with a kiss to each of your cheeks and then your nose, making you giggle more. "You think I’d ever leave you? I could never even consider being with someone else. God, you were never even supposed to mean this much to me! I was never supposed to fall so hard... But you know what? I did and that’s the truth, and that’s what keeps me holding on because it hurts like hell to let you go."
You're obviously in tears, not being able to look away from Bucky’s eyes even if you wanted because of his hold on your face, not that you're trying that hard to get away.
You have no words to describe the way you feel, not even being sure if you fully believe him. The look on his face, though, makes you want to believe. Makes you want to tell all the voices in your head to fuck off until the only one left is Bucky’s saying all the things he just said, over and over again.
But can you really let go of them that easily?
"You don’t have to carry this by yourself, doll." Bucky can see your internal struggle. "Lean on me. Let me help you make this easier."
There's nothing but sincerity in his eyes, he can't possibly be that good of an actor to be faking it, right?
So you decide to trust him.
You trust him with your life, why can’t you believe that he really loves you? 
You can. You do.
You will...
"Okay…" You’re basically whispering, still a little worried he’s just pretending and is gonna rip the rug from under you any second now. "I love you, so much. And I want to believe you love me… but it may take me a little while to accept that completely. I’m sorry…"
"You don’t need to apologize, baby. It doesn’t matter how much time it takes, I’m here for all of it. I want nothing more than to help you feel better, starting with helping you love yourself as much as I love you." he wipes your tears with his thumbs before he gives you a soft kiss on the lips. "And not worrying what jealous, unimportant, random people think of you. You’re beautiful inside AND out, don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Not even this." He taps the side of your head.
You wrap your arms around his neck and hug him tightly, neither one of you needing to say more at the moment. After a few minutes like this, you’re both done crying and you let go just enough to look at each other.
"Can we go to our room?" you ask him and he nods, letting you get off his lap and then getting up with you.
He doesn’t let you get too far from him while you go to the sink to try and make yourself look decent as he follows you so closely you might think you’re glued to each other.
Your eyes meet in the mirror and he smiles at you, wrapping his arms around your waist, he gives you a kiss on the shoulder before resting his head on it.
You successfully wash off all the makeup you put on for the party, your efforts now ruined by all the crying.
"You’re so pretty." Bucky tells you, his eyes never leaving yours and you smile a real smile this time, turning your head to give him a kiss on the cheek that makes him smile even more.
You get out of the bathroom and you tense up seeing everybody still at the party, your breath hitching in your throat as embarrassment crawls up on you.
You can see the team’s worried looks and the last thing you want right now is to go through the last 40 minutes all over again, in front of everybody.
You just want to go to your room and cuddle up with Bucky, but the super soldier had other plans.
"Can I have everybody’s attention?" you look at him with a frown, but he simply smiled at you and keeps going once the whole room is looking at you two. "It’s been brought to my attention that some of you have some misconceptions about our relationship."
You didn’t tell Bucky who you heard the conversation from, only that it was two agents just in case he might think it was someone on the team, and it almost looks like he's scanning every agent’s face to try and figure out who it was, but he continues nonetheless.
"I’d just like to make it clear for everyone that not only I love this woman more than life itself, but I, and everyone who knows her for that matter, think she’s the best, most caring person I’ve ever met. Not to mention the most attractive, in my ever so humble opinion." he wraps his metal arm around your waist and brings you closer as your face gets redder, and you can see the team chuckling and grinning at Bucky’s possessiveness and your flustered form. "And it’s also absolutely none of your business what happens in our relationship. But, since you’re all here I might as well give you something real to gossip about."
To say you're confused is an understatement. You turn back to him when Bucky’s arm disappear from around you just in time to see him reach into his back pocket, pulling out a ring box and getting down on one knee.
You hear gasps around the room, your own being muffled by your hand in front of your mouth as your eyes grow wide.
"Bucky..." It's barely a whisper to begin with, your hand almost not letting it escape at all.
"Baby, I meant every single thing I’ve said today. I love you so much. I’ve been carrying this around for a couple of months, looking for the right time to do this. But when you started pushing me away I thought maybe you were changing your mind about me. I was terrified and decided to wait, but I realize now if I had done this when I first wanted to, the last few weeks probably wouldn’t have happened. I could’ve saved you so much pain... I don’t know if this is the right time, but I do know that I’ve been ready for a while and right now I honestly can’t think of a better way to show you just how much you really mean to me. So…" he opens the box to reveal a rose gold ring with one big diamond at the center and two smaller ones on each side of it, then he takes your free hand on his. "Doll, will you marry me?"
He can feel you trembling, tears forming in your eyes once more as the whole room seems to hold their breath.
"Yes!" you're finally able to get out and Bucky feels like he can breathe again, happiness spreading throughout his whole body.
You basically throw yourself on him and he catches you with ease, getting up on his feet while you wraps your legs around his waist like a koala.
There's a chorus of cheers, the team immediately gathering around you to congratulate you both.
It feels like too little time when you finally detach from Bucky as he gently put you on the ground before slipping the ring on your finger and kissing it, his eyes never leaving yours, silently telling you he belongs to you and only you.
You’re about to lean in for a kiss when two strong arms pick you up making you squeal, Steve’s laughter in your ear as he says something about finally having a sister-in-law and making everybody laugh.
After a good 15 minutes of hugs left and right, Bucky intervenes.
"Okay, okay, can you please not smother my future wife?" your heart skips a beat when he says that and you're sure you're smiling like an idiot as he makes his way through the team to get to you.
"You know, he actually asked me for my blessing. I told you he cares very much about you." Tony whispers to you while he passes, giving you one last squeeze and a wink before everybody gives you and Bucky a moment.
He wraps his arms around your waist and finally kisses you.
When you pull away you both have big, goofy grins, never wanting this moment to end.
There's no separating you, and now everybody knows it.
Requested taglist: @aesthetic0cherryblossom @buchi91 @sapphirebarnes
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lunarfleur · 8 months
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Mother Knows Best ~ Earth 42! Miles Morales
Tagging: @juneberrie @sluggmuffin @urfavnegronerd @kombuuuu @nagi3seastorm @enchanting-violet @hiyaitssans @milesmolasses @luvjunie @conitagray @n1cole-ghost
Summary: It was rare for Miles to talk about such things with his mother. He didn’t want her to coddle him, to give him a gentle lie. He knew his mother was a great woman, but she was just a bit eccentric. This time is was different. He had no one else to go to.
Warnings:anxiety if you squint, Miles overthinking, but nothing bad!
This is x gender neutral reader!
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“I don’t know, I just…froze.”
It was rare for Miles to talk about such things with his mother. He didn’t want her to coddle him, to give him a gentle lie. He knew his mother was a great woman, but she was just a bit eccentric. This time is was different. He had no one else to go to.
“Why’d you freeze?”
Her hands ran barely pulled at his head. One side was out, his natural hair free while she worked on one side. Her hands were coated with oil while she worked so close to his scalp. Rio was the only person who could do his hair. Ever.
“I don’t know.”
“Are you scared?”
She thought back to the nights she’d stay up, mourning the loss of her husband while still trying to make ends meet for her son. Too many nights she let Miles peek around the wall, watching her fall apart over a glass of wine. She never had the energy to stop him.
Miles didn’t say anything. She heard him sigh, attempting to make it quiet. From above, she could see him biting the inside of his cheek.
“It’s okay if you are,” she added.
“Maybe,” he whispered.
Rio hummed, skilled hands working on his hair while he stared at the ceiling.
“You like them?” That made Miles smile, she noticed. A real smile, too. A sight she rarely saw from him.
“Yeah,” he chuckled.
“Why?”
“I dunno. They just…make me feel good.”
“Yeah?” Rio fought back a wide grin at the sound of his voice, raising in pitch while he fidgeted in his chair.
“Yeah.”
There was a brief silence, aside from the sound of Rio’s bangles clanging against one another.
“So, then what are you scared of.”
Miles took a minute to think, and Rio didn’t stop him. She could hear the gears turning in his head.
“It’s just like…there ain’t no way this is real. And there ain’t no way this is gonna last. I mean, they take up every space of my brain, all the time, 24/7. Ain’t I too young for this?”
“Too young for what?”
“For…for running head first into something I know is just gonna get me hurt.”
Rio hummed. She watched her son squint. That’s what he did when he brain was going faster than he could handle.
“I don’t know what I’m doin, mama. Don’t that mean someone’s gonna get hurt?”
“That’s what love is, Miles. Learning. Getting better.”
“Love,” he mumbled. Then, he spoke up. “How am I supposed to be in love if I don’t know what I’m doin?”
“You don’t have to have experience to be in love, Miles. You just have to feel.”
Rio was met with a brief silence. It made her think back to the days when she was young. When she met her future husband, when the fears slowly started fading. Miles gets it from her.
“I do plenty of that, ma. Feeling.” Miles said it in a tome of disgust, like the very thought of feeling so big was gross.
“That’s a good thing, baby.”
“Is it?”
“Yeah. It means that you’re able to give someone your heart. It means that someone will be able to love you back.”
“What if I get hurt?”
“Then you’ll be able to come right back here, to the people who love you no matter what.”
Miles paused, sighing. He tried to thing about his mother. Aaron. Ganke. And yet, his mind went straight back to them. Like always. The butterflies in his stomach made him want to puke, they were so obvious.
“I really like them, mama.”
“Then tell them that, Mijo. It’s okay to give.”
Mother knows best, right?
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319 notes · View notes
iateyourparents · 5 months
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i want to write you a song | c.b.
pairing: colby brock x musician!fem!reader
summary: you were an artist. when you were heartbroken you didn’t just cry alone in bed. you’re just making something out of your emotions.
warnings: kinda angsty, break up, use of y/n, bad writing and grammar(i’m sorry, english isn’t my first language)
an: inspired by ‘I want to write you a song’ by One Direction. (btw guys i’m slowly running out of ideas so if you have something you would like to read you can request it/write to me or in comments <3)
pictures are from pinterest:)
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You wanted to lie in bed all day. You really wanted to. But you weren’t this type of person, you couldn’t just lie all day while not doing anything but crying. It would just make you more frustrated.
So instead you just decided to pour your emotions on a paper and write a song.
You really wanted to make some energetic song where you would just badmouth your ex but you still loved him too much to do that, so instead you wrote a goodbye song for him. And it was really good.
“I want to write you a song, one as beautiful as you are sweet” you hummed to yourself trying to make a melody that would be perfect with your song.
“Already sounds great sweetie.” your manager, Ellie, said coming into your studio room. You deeply regreted giving her keys to your apartment. “What got you writing something like that? It doesn’t sound like love songs you made about Colby.”
“It’s a goodbye song for Colby. I actually wanted to call him an asshole and viagra taker but I just couldn’t make myself do that so I decided to do this. And I actually feel pretty good after writing this.” you shrugged and put your gituar in its place.
“Oh honey, what happend?” she sounded concerned.
“Colby broke up with me because he ‘didn’t felt as he should feel’ he just…wasn’t in love anymore.” you felt tears pricking at your eyes. Ellie gasped and hugged you tightly. “Don’t feel too bad, that song is amazing.” you laughed even though tears were already streaming from your eyes.
|||
“Okay guys, so I have this new song and you’ll be the first ones to ever hear it before it comes out today at midnight.” you told the crowd which started screaming with excitement. “That’s actually a form of a goodbye to someone who was, still is, important to me and even if we won’t ever talk again I want him to know I wish him the best.”
Well, maybe that wasn’t the best way to announce your break up to the world but whatever. It’s not like twitter and tik tok detectives weren’t starting to notice little things.
Music started playing right when you started playing your gituar and crowd got silent to listen better to new song.
“I want to write you a song, one as beautiful as you are sweet…” you continued singing and people started to get what you meant, and who you meant, in your little speech and well, you never heard a silence quite this loud.
“I want to write you a song. One to make your heart remember me, so anytime I’m gone you can listen to my voice and sing along. I want to write you a song.” you ended the song with tears in your eyes. Singing it out loud in front of thousands of people made you realize how real that situation was. You were no longer with Colby. And it still hurts.
You could see that some people in the crowd had shock on their faces and tears in their eyes. It was the first time ever it was so silent after you ended a song. And it felt weird but also so right.
It was like a minute of silence for you and Colby and for your relationship. For your memories.
You and Colby were popular couple. Many people said you’re the perfect example of right person in right time, so you knew these news would be heartbreaking for some of your fans.
“I know it’s probably a lot to take in just a moment but it actually felt good singing this out loud. Yeah, some chapters in life ends but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing waiting for us. New chapter is just a new chance and I’m gonna use it as best as I can.” you did a little speech and your fans finally recovered from the news you dropped at them and applaused for you. “I love you guys, I wouldn’t be here without you. I’m so fucking grateful for y‘all. See you soon!” as you were coming off the stage you could hear squeaks, shouting and clapping and it made you smile. You made it. And you will make it through this negative feelings. And you will be fine again.
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You were in a bar. It was your friend’s birthday party and as much as you liked her, this party sucked. Everybody was so sober and awkward that it made you want to leave.
“Oh hi.” you heard next to you. When you turned you saw Colby.
“Hi” you smiled to him. He looked really good. His black button up was revealing part of his chest and his beautiful blue eyes were shining in dim light “How are you?”
You tried to be civil with him. You were almost used to thought that you are no longer together. It still hurt, especially with world still talking about it since you announced it just few days ago even though you were broken up for few months.
“Good, thanks. And you?”
“Fine.” you smiled awkwardly. You stood in kind of awkward silence and just from looking at him you knew he wanted to tell you something but wasn’t sure how. “Just say it.”
“I like the song you wrote.” he finally choked out and you felt your heart squeezing. You didn’t expect him to start this topic but you just gulped and faked a giggle.
“Thank you.” when you wanted to say something else he stopped you with his words.
“I know I hurt you. I regret it like nothing else in my life but you deserve better. I just didn’t feel like I loved you enough. Not as much as you deserve to be loved. So I didn’t want to hurt you even more with pretending. But maybe…” he quickly shuted up and then changed his words, or rather tried to avoid saying what he started saying. “So I thought that would be better. But I still love you and think that in some way, I always will. But I think it’s better if you find your perfect match instead of being stuck with me. And it might seem cruel for me to say this now but I just wanted you to know that it would be impossible for me to forget someone like you. You changed my life, y/n.”
You wanted to say something but before you realized it he was out of your eyesight so you just sighed and took a sip of vodka.
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It’s been a month and you couldn’t stop thinking about Colby’s words.
Did he meant what you thought he meant?
He still loved you but didn’t think it was enough? Didn’t think he was enough for you?
You had so many questions and it made you sleepless trying to think what you should do or what are answers to these questions.
So now here you were, at Colby’s door in the middle of the night, still in your pajamas, hoping he was home.
You inhaled an air into your lungs and started knocking. Maybe more aggressive than you should but you just were desperate for answers and you couldn’t give up.
Finally moments later, the doors opened revealing sleepy Colby who looked at you confused and then he suddenly were more awake looking at you with concern.
“Everything okay? What happened? Are you hurt or in danger?” he looked over you as if to look for any visible wounds.
“Yes, I mean no.” you sighed and started explaining. “Since Doris’ birthday I can’t stop thinking about your words and it’s fucking crazy. Like, what did you mean?”
Colby could see desperation and tiredness in your eyes and it make him feel bad because he was the reason of your distress.
“I…”
You interrupted him.
“I thought about it so much that i got to a conclusion that you still love me but don’t want to be with me because you’re too… scared of something, like hurting me or whatever. And it hurts so much anyway because I don’t think I can function without you anymore what is so funny to me because I literally wrote a song to get over you. But it didn’t work because I still fucking love you and want you back and I hope i’m right and you also still love me because I think it will break me for good if I’m wrong and you don’t love me anymore. And I might sound so pathetic right now but I don’t care becau…”
This time he was the one who interrupted you. But with the way he did that, you couldn’t be mad.
He kissed you to make you shut up.
You gladly reciprocated the kiss and after a moment he took his lips away just to place his forehead on yours.
“You’re right. I’m still in love with you. But I just felt like my love wasn’t enough, that you deserve so much better. Someone who will always be able to show you his love and share your passions with you and…” now you were the one shutting him up with your lips.
“Don’t say anything. You’re so stupid, Colbs. You’re the only one I want, even if you have your own hobbies. And you showed me your love in a way I loved. I want you, only you.”
Colby smiled at you and took your hands to lead you inside his home.
“I’m so glad you were brave enough to come here because I missed you so much but was afraid to confront you after Doris’ party.” you laughed softly at that and squeezed his hand.
Maybe now you will be back to writing love songs about this man.
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blueaetherr · 1 month
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welcome to eden
pairing: trent alexander-arnold x fem!reader [she/her]
warnings(s): none
summary: the one where trent recounts his journey to discover eden
author's note: something small to get me back into writing again
now playing: she's mine pt. 1 by j. cole
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With the day slowly fading into the night, people retiring inside, both parties equally wanting to rest and repair for the following day—the day had come to an end, simple and peaceful. Quiet too, only minimal and distant noise interrupting the silence of the early night. Despite this, activities both calm and loud continued within one's walls.
As for Trent and Y/N, they had opted for both. Loud activity—that leftover piece of cake on the kitchen counter, the game controller stuck and forgotten in the folds of the couch, the music speaker misplaced in the garden, the UNO cards left on the coffee table. It all remained scattered across their shared home as remnants, now existing as cherished memories to discuss in later years. 
Calm activity, they saved for the end of the day. Something as simple and uncomplicated as laying in bed together, feeling the wind touch up against exposed skin, acknowledging one another's presence through straying touches, tangled limbs and soothing breaths. How they finished their day would be how they would, too, start their day in the coming hours. 
Adjusting her position Y/N exhaled, saying, "Tell me something I'd like to hear." Her voice came out as a whisper, small and slightly muffled against Trent's chest, like she was shy and scared to speak. But in truth, it was simple; she wanted to hear Trent speak. To hear him lift up his voice and pronounce words the way that he did so perfectly every time, something Y/N felt like she would never get over.
Asking to hear Trent's words and voice wasn't anything out of the ordinary. In fact, it was habitual and familiar to their relationship. In times when they wanted to sleep but couldn't, when they wanted to relax and falter a bit after a taxing day, when they wanted to bring about a sense of calm in a moment of chaos—whether in person or over the phone—Y/N would request Trent's words. 
Tell me a story. Tell me about your day today, honey. How did you find the movie? From the hypotheticals to the yes or no wonders of life itself. Anything and everything was on the table and Trent would, of course, always say yes to her requests. 
Normally, if Trent was given free rein about what he could discuss with his partner, he would have to think for a moment, always looking to capture the perfect exchange of words. This time, however, he found no need to wander his mind for thoughts. "You weren't the first person I ever fell for."
"Oh wow, wow, wow." In any other situation where Y/N had the energy, she would've reacted more to his opening statement. Perhaps a questioning look or a warning yet joking pinch to the chest. Instead, she remained inert in Trent's arms and expressed in a neutral tone, "I feel so, so loved right now."
"I didn't mean it like that, obviously," Trent laughed a bit, his laughter bouncing off the walls. Even with the neutral tone, he could hear the dramatic undertone behind it. "You gotta hear everything I have to say and then make up your mind about how you feel."
"And how do you think I'll be feeling post-explanation?" A fooling curiosity settled behind her voice. Will it be worth it to listen to your words? After all, she did request something she would like to hear.
Tilting his head to look towards the window, Trent noticed the shining light rising into the night sky. "Over the moon and beyond."
Humming, Y/N nodded against his chest and relaxed further into his embrace. Big expectations to meet. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to hear him out. "Let's hear it."
"Well you already know I've had a few girlfriends before you, and it was with my previous girlfriend where I personally felt like I fell in love for the first time. Everything was good, great if you want to go that far. She was the one partner I was always going to my friends and family to talk about. I loved it because she made it so easy; I was happy and she made me happy, and I thought that was more than enough for me to be content with the relationship."
She shifted away from Trent's chest– the distance quite small though not enough to prevent body contact– so she could face him well. "Sounds like you were in Eden," Y/N shaking her head slightly, feigning disappointment. She couldn't allow Trent to get through his story without bringing some cause for laughter to the conversation.
"Just like me get to it. I promise it gets better," Trent huffed out a small laugh, and Y/N soon followed suit. An instant of delight under the night sky. 
Soon laughter fell short into silence and Trent continued, "Anyways, eventually she ended up breaking up with me and I was heartbroken. I was confused and devastated. Everything always felt right to me so I didn't know where it went wrong. I thought she was the one and only, my one and only. I'd fallen, like, pretty hard and I didn't think I would again after that. I found everything in her. She was everything to me. It doesn't get better than that," he exhaled, his eyes drifting randomly around the room, "I mean it shouldn't get better than that."
"But then I met you," Smiling, his gaze returned to his partner, fondness soon collecting in his eyes, "... and I quickly discovered that I was so, so wrong."
"Where she was giving me happiness, you're giving me happiness and more. Where she was giving me joy, you're giving me joy and more. Where she was giving me peace, love, content— you know what? Let me not ramble before I'm just listing everything great about you." Noticing her smile wobble a bit, he took hold of her hand and kissed the back of it. A request to comfort and ease her mind. Against her hand, Trent spoke with a small voice, "I mean you get what I'm sayin' right?"
Tell me more, keep going, let me know your thoughts– among many things she wanted to say. But she found herself in her feelings, far too deep, so much so that she failed to find her voice. So instead she simply nodded through sniffles and a struggling smile, allowing him to continue.
"So sure she was my first real, honest love. I fell for her first and that's fact—that'll never change. But she could never reach your ankles, honey. 'Cause I fell for you and suddenly, I felt it again but with you. Heck, I still feel it with you, over and over, every single day. I remember how it felt when we first met. I felt it yesterday. I felt it when we were washing the dishes together a few hours ago." Humming, he wiped away the stray tear escaping her eyes. "And I hope to feel that way tomorrow and every day after that."
"I am and have everything and some with you. You give me more than I need; you are quite literally abundance."
In truth, Trent didn't always have the words for everything, often spontaneous and unintentional in his speech. Still, his love language always pointed back to words of affirmation. Forever with pleasure, he would continue to offer Y/N his voice and words of her choosing. 'Cause in his eyes, it was easy to speak for someone you felt so passionately about, someone who you could never seem to pull away from even when you should.
Speaking on this aspect of the relationship made Trent reflect a bit, his mind rekindling recent thoughts. It made him lean back and think wow. He once believed that he had found true paradise in someone else. That she was everything ideal and secure, and Trent would never find himself in want of something else. 
But then there came Y/N, the genuine living proof of everything ideal and secure and more. In the words of Y/N, Trent found Eden in her. She was this person of paradise, harmony, perfection and ultimate beauty. In mind, spirit and body. Someone to appreciate, love and acknowledge at every point in space and time. And in his words, she was someone of abundance. Always ever-giving and forever infinite in her person. Never would he ever lack with Y/N. The primal things—loud activity, calm activity—continued to leave Trent without wants beyond his partner.
"So how did that meet your expectations?"
Y/N strung out a sigh, exhaling those overwhelming sentiments. Some would think Trent was speaking just to speak, to pass time or for the two to fall asleep well, and that was true. But what was also true was that Trent found delight and happiness in speaking on this subject, speaking about how, actually, Y/N was his one and only. How she was everything—how she gave him everything and more. Yet all she ever asked for in return were his words and speech. 
So here were his words, a mellow proclamation of love and affection, and like every other time it left Y/N joyfully devastated.
The soft breeze in the room shifted her attention towards the opened window for a moment. Soon, she noticed the moon, now high in the sky daintily shining into the bedroom. She hung her head back as she let a small chuckle through her tears. "I'm over the moon and beyond."
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snzhrchy · 1 year
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I have a request!! Ajax x reader who is really outgoing and people see her as super annoying so they’re mean to her, one day Ajax catches her crying bc she’s fed up with it, and he confesses/they kiss.
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— ☆ MORE THAN THAT !
ajax petropolus x fem!reader
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synopsis; just how you and your best friend's relationship developed into something more.
notes; think i projected here a lot haha.
taglist; lmk if u wanna be on it
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You were just trying to be nice. You didn’t know how you ended up like this. One minute, you’re trying to have a conversation with Bianca and the next? You’re crying under the Edgar Allan Poe statue.
It’s always been like this, you thought. People would always mistake your kindness for something else — most would either take advantage of it or make fun of it. Today was your last straw.
You had had enough of the vampire boys and the siren girls constantly torturing your mind; it was getting exhausting. And for once, you finally broke down today.
You were never the one to run away from a fight but today was different. You actually ran away from them. From their constant remarks. Today, you finally let the tears fall and you finally freed your emotions — the emotions you’d been trying to bottle up for so long.
Ironic, wasn’t it? Being treated as an outcast in a school that was made for outcasts.
It hurt. The constant insults and slandering of you behind your back; you never truly knew how anyone ever felt about you. When was the last time you ever had someone to call your friend? You couldn’t even remember.
Well, one person did come into mind: Ajax Petropolus.
From your first day at Nevermore, he’d been the only person who’d shown you any type of kindness. Hell, he was the only person who didn’t treat you like the rest.
With Ajax, you felt at peace. You felt like you could talk to him about anything and everything without the fear of ever being ridiculed. You trusted him very much.
The sound of boots clicking across the dirty marble floor caused you to jump and quickly wipe off all the tears that streamed down your face. You tried to prevent the tears from falling but were unsuccessful. You didn’t want anyone to see you like this — crying.
The sounds started to get louder, they were nearing towards you. In a panic, you aggressively cleaned your face and attempted to make yourself look presentable.
‘Knew I’d find you here!’ The person spoke, their voice was raspy yet comforting — it was Ajax. The only person you wanted to see right now.
You weakly smiled at him and gave him a small wave as if to distract from the fact that you have been crying. Yet your attempts were futile once Ajax noticed. He cursed as he walked over to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.
‘Were you crying?’ He asked, turning to look at your face which has really noticeable tears stains; ‘wait — that’s a stupid question. I mean, how are you feeling?’
You chuckled at the first part of his statement — he really knew how to cheer you up or atleast, make you forget about your problems.
‘I’m better now,’ you slowly told him as he traced his fingers across your arm. ‘That’s great — who made you cry? Maybe I can stone them,’ he suggested.
‘Oh y’know — the same old people, nothing to worry about.’
‘They fought with you? Again?’
‘Yes but it’s no big deal, it happens all the time.’
Ajax turned to look at you, he had a stern expression on his face. ‘No big deal? C’mon, Y/N, they’ve been doing this since you arrived here and—‘ ‘and that’s why I’m used to it,’ you stated, ‘trust me, it’s nothing.’ He sighed, ‘well, if you say so.’
You both sat in silence for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence. Your tears had stopped falling a long time ago — the entire situation had been forgotten; you just wanted to be with him right now.
‘Hey, listen…’ Ajax began, grabbing your attention, ‘don’t listen to them, they’re wrong about everything they’ve ever said to you.’
You removed yourself from his embrace and sat up, looking at him bewildered. ‘What do you mean?’ you questioned.
‘Well, they make fun of your looks and mock your personality but they're all wrong,' he continued, 'you're beautiful and you're not annoying at all — far from it. You're the best thing to have happened to me.'
The ends of your lips slowly curved into a small smile, 'thanks,' you managed to respond. He turned his head to face you, 'I really mean it,' he stated as one of his hand gently touched your face and wiped off a tear that you didn't know had escaped your eyes.
You both stared into each other's eyes for a while until Ajax finally closed the gap between you two. You slowly shut your eyes tight as you kissed him back.
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kissitbttr · 2 years
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eddie and mean!cheerleader have their first fight pt.2
read part 1
a/n: definitely no interactions between the two. just more of their perspectives and thoughts on what’s going on (but mostly from eddie)
-
he’s losing his mind.
days without her just feels against the law but he knows he has no one to blame but himself.
for almost two weeks since they had that fight at the field, not even a phone call or a glance were exchanged. avoiding each other at school and out. he can’t sleep nor think knowing that he’s hurt the only girl he has ever cared for. even cried himself to sleep to the thought of losing her completely. it just doesn’t sit well with him.
she’s not doing so great either. he’d would spot her from across the room with sunglasses perched on the bridge of her nose—to cover her red eyes and dark circles—messy bun along with a hoodie and a skirt. the colors she chose just look so depressing and it’s like he’s looking at a different person. not to mention, a hoodie? definitely not something she’d wear.
steve and robin had also informed him about her attitude. how she rarely snaps at someone and putting lip gloss during classes. which worries him because it’s one of her favorite things to do! she hasn’t even tried to confront rebecca after all that shenanigans.
he assumes she had been crying and losing her happiness because of him. and the thought just breaks him even more.
“why don’t you try to talk to her or something?” gareth speaks up, realizing that his best friend’s gaze hasn’t completely left hers,
she’s standing by the locker reading something from one of her books next to her best friend. who seems to be talking a lot and y/n can’t seem to find the fucks she could give to listen.
eddie wants nothing more than to walk up from behind and surprise her by giving kisses down her neck until she giggles. telling him to stop though knowing deep down she doesn’t want him to..
“it’s not that simple, man” he scoffs, putting away his lunch box into the locker. “she hates me. she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.”
“how do you know for sure? ever since the two of you had a fight, you never even tried to fix things. it’s not her fault if she shut you out. you hurt her, eddie.”
“gee, thanks for the reminder” he responds sarcastically with an eye roll. walking away from the locker with gareth trailing from behind, but not without shooting her one more glance.
he sighs to himself because how did he even manage to fuck up this bad?
“i know I shouldn’t have said all those things. fuck I didn’t know what i was thinking! i love her more than anything and it pains me to know that she’s hurt because of me.” he knock himself in the head, earning a concerned look from his best friend,
“okay now. don’t do that to yourself like that, eds.” gareth squeezes his shoulder blade. “it’s not the end of the world. just… try, okay? the boys missed having her during our campaigns. and I’m sure you missed her too.”
he does. he really, really does.
+
“jason’s throwing a party tonight. you coming?” one of the cheerleaders ask, punching her fork down on the depressing salad that looks like it’s not even edible,
y/n grimaces at the food before answering. “what makes you think i care about that?”
“well you know.. i just thought that you need a break or something.. for everything that has been going on.”
she hums, looking at her dead in the eye. “and what makes you think you know exactly what’s going on with my fucking life?”
the girl looks baffled, obviously taken aback by y/n’s tone. she should’ve know not to mess around with her,
“n-nothing! i mean i think-“
“don’t. nuh-uh. don’t think. don’t even try to sympathize with me.” y/n cuts her off, pointing her finger at the girl to shut her up.
the girl mutter a quick ‘sorry’ before going back to her business and chatting away with the other cheerleader. scooting a bit further to avoid her.
y/n feels like she’s going crazy if people kept doing that. it’s not like she’s dying or anything.
maybe on the inside, sure. because without eddie, her life feels so incomplete. call her corny but it’s true. her thoughts are consumed by him and she hates herself for it.
because he hurt her, bad. using her insecurity against her during a fight? a fucking low blow. she could take it if it was someone else who said it, but him? she never expected that to happen.
“babe, you do need that.” y/n’s friend maya pipes in, nudging her side. “maybe she’s right. you need to take your mind off of it for just one night. it doesn’t sound too bad”
y/n looks at her with her brows dipping in. “you’re taking pippi longstocking’s side?”
“bitch, I’m not taking anyone’s side! but i love you! and i hate to see you like this because, navy blue hoodie, really?” she looks down at her outfit. “it’s not you, babe.”
“ugh, can’t people stop commenting on that? i get it alright! but I can’t wear pink or purple if I’m not feeling it.”
“exactly!” maya exclaims, “you know how much i appreciate eddie but girl you have to stop sulking. sorry to say this but it’s quite pathetic to look at you. i cannot stand seeing you like this. come to the party with me, who knows you’ll start to feel like yourself again. even if it’s just for one night.”
“you said that” y/n replies with a cookie in her mouth. “shit this tastes so good! do you think they have it in peanut butter? might need it for protein.”
“y/n focus!” maya scolds, feeling slightly irritated at her best friend’s behavior. “please? you know booze and chips are your favorite”
she groans, throwing her head back. smacking the goey dessert down to her plate. “fine. you had me at chips. but there better be chamoy. or naan. otherwise clock me out.”
maya squeals, clapping her hands in excitement before giving her best friend a kiss on the cheek. to which she looks at her in disgust, wiping the kiss off. shooting her a ‘I’ll kill you if you do that again’ look
“you can count on me, sweetheart!”
y/n tries her best to give a convincing smile. and she wanted to not care so badly about eddie, but every now and then her eyes would wander around the halls and cafeteria. searching for that adorable and expressive boy with brown curls that made her fall in love.
she swears to herself that she wouldn’t let anyone treat her like shit anymore. even eddie advised that to her one night at the party where they first had conversation. so what changed?
was he getting sick of her? did brandon or kenneth came up to him and warn him about the crazy insecure bitch? or maybe he’s finally coming into his senses? that he needs someone who’s calm and collected. someone like chrissy cunningham or alexa berry from algebra.
it’s weird to be having this kind of feeling. she may appears to be tough and confident on the outside but most of the time, it’s solemnly for protection. no one wants to mess with you if you’re a bitch. and the best thing about that is no one will ever know if it’s real or fake.
see, she’s good at pretending and masking her insecurities. hence why she would never tell anyone her deepest secrets.
not being good enough.
and maybe that’s the truth. she’s not good enough for eddie. not good enough for brandon. because if she were then he wouldn’t have cheat on her, right?
good and healthy kind of love seem too far off for her now. maybe she will never be perfect for it.
+
tonight is supposed to be campaign night with the boys. dustin and the rest of the kids had prepared everything but eddie can’t seem to find the energy to do it, his heart isn’t in the right place at the moment. even if he did play, y/n is going to be on his mind during it. just like any other night.
obviously the boys prefer having their dungeon master there, and they thought about encouraging him to come despite everything that has been going on. however , one glare from eddie was all it takes to make them back away. it’s better to leave him alone.
and since they also would not appreciate the idea of postponing, eddie gave them a permission to do it without him.
he prefers to be alone right now. hiding at the comfort of his own bedroom, blasting on the mixtape y/n had given him while rolling up a joint. who would’ve thought that the jacksons 5 could make him cry like a baby?
“don’t you know… i sit around with my head hanging down and I wonder who’s lovin you…” he’s singing off key, choking on his own words when the last sentence hit,
he hopes no one is loving her like he does. as selfish as it sounds, he wants to be the only person who’s doing it. to treat her like she deserves to be treated, shower her with love and affections like no one has ever done.
but how the hell is he supposed to do that when she doesn’t even want to look at him anymore?
“well, you did it Munson. fucked up the only good thing that life has ever offered. hope you’re proud of yourself” he chuckles humorlessly, unscrewing the cap of his beer bottle before chugging it
his eyes snap towards the clock. it’s almost 1am and he curses to himself, realizing that he has been drowning himself in self pity for almost two hours, drinking and smoking alone.
maybe they’re right. all of those people who said that she’s too good for him were probably right on the money. why would he ever think that their relationship could last? she deserves to be seen with a golden boy. definitely not him.
someone like Jason Carver, Anthony Smith or Brandon.
fucking. Brandon.
as he about to crack open another beer under his bed, the sound of phone ringing from the living room suddenly startle him. he pays no mind to it and let the phone rings until it stops, because who in the right mind could be calling him at this hour? especially since it’s his house number.
no one has ever called his number in a million years. except the new divorcee that lives two trailers away.
“he really needs to stop giving numbers to women, man” eddie mutters, referring to his uncle.
few seconds after the phone dies down, it rings again. eddie screwed his eyes shut feeling slightly irritated that it had the nerve to interrupt his pity party. why can’t he just be left alone,
“alright, alright. jesus” he mutters, rising up to his feet before walking out of his room. taking long strides towards where the phone is, hand clasping around it to answer,
“Munson’s residence, how can i help you?” he holds the phone by the ear. slurring a bit over his words and burping after.
“eddie?”
his eyes widen and body stills when he recognizes who the voice belongs to. finding himself sobering up real quick as the alcohol in his systems slowly washing away.
“y/n-y/n? hi… what’s wrong, is everything okay?” his protective instincts immediately appears, detecting the tone in her voice, he assumes she’s in trouble.
he could hear the loud music over the phone. she’s probably at a party. and he doesn’t miss the sound of his girl screaming at someone to leave her alone if he doesn’t want his balls to get chopped. it almost makes him laugh, but he figures it’s not the time.
“i know I’m supposed to hate you right now but can you come pick me up please? I’m at Jason’s party and fuck, these people are scaring me. i-i think they’re doing…what my dad was doing” she trembles, frowning at the sight of kids swallowing pills and inhaling white powder.
eddie tenses. knowing exactly what she’s talking about. he nods quickly although she can’t see him, heart breaking and the worry grows after hearing how frightened she is. especially when he’s not there to protect her.
“okay, baby. just sit tight and touch nothing, all right? I’ll be there in 10 or less. i love you” he mentally slaps himself for letting the last sentence blurt out. hanging up before he gets to hear her response. embarrassment is the last thing he needs right now,
he sprints outside with keys in his hand, not bothering to write a note for his uncle since he’ll be working late. well it’s not like he’d read them anyway.
she is undoubtedly one tough woman. toughest one he has ever met. batshit crazy and unfiltered. but to be in a room where people do drugs and watch them get high off those things just bring so many bad memories revolving around her dad.
he could imagine her face right now and the anxiety seeping in being around those people. even he hates it. his brain is now filled with images of his girl being vulnerable, possibly hiding herself out from the party. that drives him to keep punching the gas, not wanting to hit the brakes. and he’s probably going over the speed limit. he doesn’t care though
eddie has never been a wreck less driver. never was and never will be, but y/n is the only thing important to him right now.
-
breaking this down to three parts so we can focus more on y/n and eddie trying to fix things up on the next one:)
pt 3
tagging: @littlemiss-yeehaw @lacrymosa-24 @godsfavoritegirlll
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brooooswriting · 6 months
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You so small
Margot Robbie x reader
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A/n: for 🧞‍♀️. I hope you like it 😊
All your life you’ve been told that you were small and people quite frankly liked to make fun of you which turned it into a big insecurity of yours. It made you loose a lot of confidence and as soon as you noticed somebody truly noticing how small you were you already knew it was over.
That was at least until you met Margot. You two met on set one day as you were there for the table read as one of the script writers. While you’ve always honored her work, you had the luck of being seated next to her. She was slouching a bit in her chair making the height difference between you rather small, she only noticed how small you were once the read was over and everybody stood up.
You feared the moment you saw her eye your body, but instead of doing anything offensive she gave you a smile and said that she’d see you tomorrow. That’s how it went until the table read was over and the script finally changed to perfection, which meant that it was your last day on set.
“Y/n, so it’s your last day huh?” She asked you with her typical Australian accent but the excitement that was usually there wasn’t there anymore.
“Yeah, sadly it is. This was probably the funniest table read I have ever witnessed” you didn’t tell her that it was because of her, nor did you tell her that this was the first set where not one person made fun of your height.
“Well, maybe if you want to, we could grab a coffee? Like a date?” And the rest was history.
During the time that you dated, she never once made fun of your height and she left the topic of your height alone until you said something about it first. The day you told her about how insecure people made you about it was the day she promised herself to build your confidence back up.
Every day she slept over at yours, she left a post it on your fridge with one reason why your height is perfect. ‘I can easily hug you from behind’ or ‘you look amazing in my oversized cloths’ were some of the first ones she left, you kept them all in a drawer to read them if you ever felt bad. She also always made a point of ‘signing’ them and drawing a heart beneath.
She also liked to tell you throughout the day how perfect you were and when you had a bad day she’d make up shitty reasons why being small was good, she kept on talking about how great it would be to still be able to sit in these small chairs for kids. The reason was obviously stupid but it made you laugh, so she took that as a win.
Something she would never say out loud is that she loved your height because it made her feel like it’s easier to protect you, plus she loved feeling helpful.
There was nothing as rewarding as being able to get you a cup from the upper drawer. Sure it sound stupid but she just loved it, she couldn’t even explain. And it especially showed once you were finally back to feeling confident with your height. Carefully, and I mean very very carefully, Margot started to lovely tease you for your height and to be honest you kinda liked it.
It was different than any other teasing you’ve ever seen, it was loving and nice instead of rude and humiliating. Maybe it was because you knew she loved you or maybe it was just because you knew she was too nice to hurt a fly.
So, ever since you became more confident all the cups, pans, coffee beans and everything else you used on the daily basis were on the highest shelf out of reach. At first you didn’t notice, you only called out for her. “Margot, love, can you come and get me the coffee beans please?” You called out one morning when you wanted to make a cup for the two of you before she had to leave for work.
“On my way darling” in a matter of seconds she appeared behind you, one hand on your waist as the other one reached up to grab the beans. A permanent smile on her lips.
“Thank you” you mumbled against her lips as you gave her a quick kiss.
The same thing constantly happened during grocery trips, she was your savior every time. While you used to climb up to reach the things on the top shelf you could now just send your lovely girlfriend to do it.
“Can you get that, that, that oh and that?” You mumbled out as you walked through an isles, the blonde close behind you.
“Why do I have to get everything?” She whined as she started to get the first thing you had pointed at, a small pout on her lips.
“Because you are tall enough to reach the top shelf” you told her with a shrug and turned to her.
“Aww, you so small. You can’t even reach the top shelf” your girlfriend said in a baby voice, barely able to keep her laughter in. Normally something like that would have made you insecure again, but the loving look in her eyes gave you a confidence you’ve never had before. If a girl like her wanted you and thought you were perfect than maybe, and I mean just maybe, you weren’t so bad after all.
“Well, at least I can wear high heels without having to crouch every time I want to walk through a door” you grinned up at her, making her let out a faked gasp.
“Oh you did not” she only mumbled before her arms wrapped around you and tickled your side causing you to giggle.
Something that you started to love about your height was how Margot’s cloths fit you. They were way too big on you, making it possible for you to only wear her sweater and underwear around the house, sometimes parring them with fluffy socks if it was cold. Her hoodies never felt as good as they did when you visited her on set on a cold day, so she’d give you her hoodie while you sat in her chair and watched her act. You loved it and honestly she loved it even more.
The first time in what felt like forever that you felt insecure was when you were supposed to meet the blondes friends. A brunch was planned with quite some people. She had a history of dating tall men so what would her friends say to a small woman like you? You didn’t even wanna think about it, that night you barely slept. Too many questions and insecurities were floating in your head.
The next day people were supposed to arrive at eleven and you and Margot had already cut up most of the things yesterday so there wasn’t a lot to do anymore but you were still up at 6. After showering you spent two hours in the bathroom doing your hair and makeup, changing it a hundred times before finally deciding that you looked okay. Your girlfriend planned to stand up in half an hour giving you time to calm yourself a bit before she was up.
To be honest, calming down didn’t work so instead you started to look through your cloths. Normally you’d wear a trouser, a top and one of Margot’s flannels but they’d notice that it is hers and then they’d see how big it is on you which meant that they’d get how small you are. One trouser made your legs look too small, the other one made you look small in general and for the next one you didn’t have a fitting top. So you decided to start with the tops, but no luck either. You were so deep in your head that you didn’t even notice your girlfriend waking up and waking behind you to hug you.
“Good morning darling” you jumped the moment her hand touched your waist as she pulled you out of your thoughts.
“Jeez, you scared me. Morning love” you weren’t really thinking about what you were saying, instead starring straight ahead into your closet.
“I thought we could shower together but it seems like you already showered huh?” You turned slightly to watch hoping that she wasn’t mad. You were relieved to see that she didn’t seem mad, more confused.
“Oh yeah, I woke up at 6 and I was so awake that I thought I could use the time” you explained before planting a soft kiss on her cheek and pushing her towards the bathroom.
You found an outfit before the blonde exited the bathroom, you weren’t really happy with it but it was okay. You quickly put on some plateau shoes and walked into the kitchen to start setting the table. Your girlfriend came out a bit later dressed in a shirt and some jeans, her hair still slightly wet while her face was covered in light make up.
“You look beautiful love” you told her as you leaned up to plant a small kiss on her lips. She was about to wrap her arms around your waist to pull you closer when you already pulled away with some plates in your hand and walked outside to the table.
“Since when are you wearing shoes in the house?” She asked confused once she noticed your shoes, you normally wore house shoes or flip flops in the house but never real shoes and especially not plateaus as you found them to be uncomfortable.
“Huh? Oh yeah, they just go really great with the outfit so I thought why not” an obvious lie but she let it slide, she’d figure out the real reason later.
After she let it go you two worked around each other to finish before everybody was coming, successfully doing so at 10:50 meaning you had ten minutes to spear before the first person would arrive. Margot walked toward you and wrapped her arm around your waist, or at least she tried to as you stepped away before she could.
“Don’t do that”
“What? Why?”
“Because it makes me look really small and I don’t want that when they come”
“I… can I wrap my arm around you shoulder then?”
“Why don’t you just immediately use my head as an arm rest?! Stuff like that makes me look small and I don’t want that in front of your friends!”
There was a moment of silence where Margot tried to understand what was happening. “Are you scared that they’ll make fun of your height?” She asked carefully stepping a bit closer.
“I already look like a child next to you, how do you think I’ll look next to Cara huh?” You asked a bit annoyed, more so with yourself than with her. It wasn’t her fault you still felt insecure every once in a while.
“They don’t care about your height baby, trust me. It that why you’re wearing the-“ she got interrupted by the doorbell but she didn’t immediately move, starring at you instead.
“Let’s just open the door” you mumbled.
Her friends were nice, more than nice even and not one person made any kind of joke or anything about your height but you still made a point of staying far enough away from everybody so you couldn’t be compared that easily, even Margot. To everybody else it just seemed like you were standing a bit further away by accident but your girlfriend knew exactly why and it made her sad. Not that you weren’t clinging onto her friends, she could see that you liked them, but that you were still so insecure sometimes.
“They’re nice” you said as you put the plates into the dishwasher.
“I’m glad to hear that they like you” she said as she put the leftovers in the fridge, a moment passing in silence. “So are we gonna talk about it?” She asked carefully not wanting to make you uncomfortable.
“No, not right now. I just wanna” you didn’t even finish your sentences as you pulled her to the couch and threw yourself into her arms. “Just want a bit of comfort” you mumbled into her earning a kiss on the top of your head.
“They don’t care how tall you are, they only care if you make me happy and that you definitely do. But if anyone would have made a joke I would have defended you. You know that right?” She asked.
“But you shouldn’t have too. I should be able to deal with a joke, I don’t know what was wrong today” you said into her neck a small pout on your lips.
“Doesn’t matter, I’ll always protect you if someone makes fun of your height. I’m the only one allowed to do that” both of you giggled at that, a small smile adorning your faces.
“I love you margot” you said as you leaned up to kiss her.
“I love you too darling” she mumbled against your neck.
A small part of you would probably always be insecure about your height but with Margot on your side you never had to worry about that.
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kimbappykidding · 1 year
Text
How Seventeen act when they like you but your dating one of their members
Scoups - Makes sure your boyfriend treats you right
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"Hey is that your phone again? It's been buzzing like crazy" Scoups called to Jeonghan. "Yeah it's y/n. We got in a fight so I'm just avoiding her for a bit to make her sweat" Jeonghan replied dismissively. Scoups frowned "what was the fight about?". "She was mad because I was late to her family dinner but I told her work might run over". "You told her in advance?" Scoups asked. "Well no but she knows how work is! I can't exactly drop everything just because she wants me to meet her parents". Scoups sighed and picked up Jeonghan's phone before throwing it to him. "Ow!" Jeonghan cried but Scoups didn't react "call her back or at least text her and tell her you need some space. Don't ignore her it's childish". "But I have nothing to say to her until she apologises". "Look I'm not going to tell you what to do in your relationship but y/n doesn't deserve this. You know she's been having a hard time lately and she's not a mind reader. You could've told her the dinner was on a bad day and rearranged or asked me to get you out early. You know I would’ve let you go for something important" Scoups told him. In response Jeonghan rolled his eyes "I thought I had immunity to your leader lectures?". "You usually do but not when you're treating a nice girl like y/n badly. If you need some time to cool off just tell her that so she stops worrying!". Jeonghan sighed but he unlocked his phone "if you think she's so great maybe you should date her" he muttered. 
Luckily Jeonghan was focused on his phone so he didn't see Scoups reaction. How he froze caught off guard and his face filled with a sad wistful expression. "I would if I could" he said to himself and walked from the room.
Jeonghan - Hangs around you a lot even though it hurts him
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You spotted Jeonghan across the room and gave him a huge smile that almost floored him. “You came!” you cried rushing to hug him and Jeonghan nodded “of course I did! Did you really think I’d miss your first art exhibition?”. You smiled at him bashfully “thank you...I was really nervous about Joshua not being able to come so you being here really helps. Knowing there’s atleast one person here that likes me and doesn’t think I’m a failure is comforting”. Jeonghan almost laughed at how ironic that was. 
The second Joshua started dating you Jeonghan's heart sank. He knew of you through friends and was the first member Joshua introduced you to. Jeonghan had very strong opinions about you and knew a lot about you compared to the others. Everyone thought Jeonghan was so involved purely because he was so close to Joshua. They all thought it was the typical protective best friend making sure the girl was good enough but it wasn't totally like that. Sure Jeonghan used that excuse but mostly, he just liked seeing you. You were good company and could always make him smile even on the longest more tiresome day. He found you so beautiful to watch and he liked being around you. He told himself you were just good friends and he didn't feel anything more but the times when he felt longing seeing you wrapped up with Joshua or even worse the sharp jealous feeling he got seeing the two of you kiss...he knew couldn't deny it. So he just chose to ignore it and carried on being close to both of you. He'd never ever do anything to cause you or Joshua any upset, so he just ignored his feelings and loved you silently.  
Thinking of all this Jeonghan smiled “ow come on it’s not just me, I’ve seen tons of people admiring your work and you’re insanely talented so don’t sell yourself short”. You smiled again “thank you...it’s actually been quite fun but I’ve just been nervous the entire time. My mouth keeps going dry but I don’t want to leave my post in case someone comes and wants to speak to me”. “Well why don’t I go and get you a drink?” Jeonghan asked. “Really? You’d do that for me?” you asked and Jeonghan nodded “I’d do a lot more y/n” and he meant it. He’d do pretty much anything for you. 
Joshua - Super super super nice to you
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When Seventeen heard Jun had a girlfriend they were all thrilled, a bit amazed but mainly happy. The8 finally convinced him to invite you to one of their parties and when you turned up Joshua was stunned. You were the most beautiful person he’d ever seen and he had to admit you and Jun looked amazing together but it didn’t just stop there. Joshua loved your personality and found your sense of humour similar to his own.  The more he thought about you the more he realised you were his ideal type, you even spoke English for heaven’s sake! When Joshua found out you were from Scotland he thought he’d die right there from your accent and he soon invented reasons to spend time with you like helping you learn Chinese. 
You were fluent in Korean, English and Japanese but of course wanted to learn Chinese so you could speak to your boyfriend in his home tongue and Joshua offered to go to the lessons with you. No matter how inconvenient or how hectic his schedule was he met you outside the building, stay for the two hours and then drive you home afterwards. 
He’d just gotten home quite late from a study session with you in preparation for an upcoming test when Jeonghan caught him sneaking in. “A bit late isn’t it?” he called and Joshua smiled awkwardly "I was out with y/n". "Isn't that like the third time this week? Man are you dating her or Jun?" Jeonghan joked. "It's not like that..." Joshua started when Jeonghan smiled "I know it's not but...you do help her out a lot. Like when she was moving apartments and Jun was away in China. You dropped everything to help her, even cancelling that date with Iris you'd been after for so long. There's something there right? You like her". Joshua blushed "I...just want her to be happy okay? If that's with Jun then that's fine with me". Jeonghan nodded "you're nice enough that I believe you, just don't get in too deep yeah?". Joshua nodded "I won't” but he had a sinking feeling when he said it. He knew he was already way past that. 
Jun -  Can’t even be near you
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Jun didn't realise he liked you for a ridiculous amount of time. He just knew whenever he walked into a room and you were there he had to leave it.
 Especially if Hoshi was also in the room because if the two of you were acting cute or worse flirty then his body would malfunction. The first time he saw Hoshi kiss you he was stunned and had a vivid reaction to it. That kiss ruined his mood for days and he found he couldn't be around you without thinking of it. So he just avoided you, if you were invited over he'd be out. If there was no getting out of the occasion he'd leave the room if you entered or stay as far from you as possible. He didn't speak or even look at you if it could be helped. Not even when you sought him out, confused why the funniest member of Seventeen had never even uttered a word in your presence. Hoshi just shrugged and told you Jun was quite introverted so you let it drop and moved on. 
You didn't think of Jun much after that but he thought of you, often. Like tonight, you were across the room from him by Hoshi’s side in a beautiful outfit that had taken Jun’s breath away. Scoups had told him he just had to stay an hour and his eyes kept going from you to the clock. He was only halfway through and he had no idea how he was going to cope. “Hey you okay?” The8 said appearing next to him. Jun nodded “yeah why?”. “Nothing just isn’t that like your 3rd drink?”. Jun shrugged “so it’s an open bar”. The8 nodded “okay just checking...I’m going to head over to Hoshi, Mingyu and y/n. You want to come with?”. Jun didn’t even hesitate “i’m good thanks” and finished his drink reaching for the fourth one. The8 nodded “okay well text if you need anything” and walked away. 
Jun watched him join you and how you smiled and chatted to him. Hoshi hung an arm around your waist and Jun sighed heading for the door. He’d come up with some excuse for Scoups later but right now he just had to get out of there.  
Hoshi  - Always acts up more when you're around to show off
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Like your boyfriend Wonwoo you were more reserved and didn't speak too much in group settings but that just made Hoshi even more curious about you. He was comfortable in social situations and so he did everything in his power to get you to pay attention to him. He'd yell, jump around and provoke his members but if he got even a smile from you he considered it all worth it. 
That’s why Hoshi always suggested everyone play a game when you came over. It gave him the perfect opportunity to interact with you or even in exceptional circumstances like tonight be put on the same team as you. Hoshi was sat beside you and sure Wonwoo was on your other side but this was still his greatest dream. So he was louder, more charismatic and the most dramatic he’d been in a long time. Which the members caught onto. 
"Does anyone else notice Hoshi is louder when we have company?" Seungkwan asked. Dino nodded "yeah, I think he likes the attention or something". Scoups shook his head, he knew exactly the reason why Hoshi acted the way he did but there was no way he was going to out his friend like that. "Hoshi just likes people" he shrugged and hoped the members wouldn't notice how his eyes were glued to you, even at this very moment but all you could see was Wonwoo. Hoshi liked a challenge but this might be one he couldn’t win.
Wonwoo - Listens to everything you say
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"Eugh I have no idea what to get y/n for her birthday!" Dk cried and Wonwoo looked at your boyfriend quizzically. "Come on you must have some clue, what have you got so far?". "A card" Dk said and Wonwoo frowned "that's it?". Dk frowned “I made it myself...she's really hard to shop for okay! She never tells me what she wants so I’m really stuck". Wonwoo nodded "didn't she just move into a new apartment?". Dk nodded "yeah so?". "So...she probably doesn't have a lot of things yet, maybe you could get her something for her new home?". "Like what...a microwave?". "I was thinking something more sentimental, like a nice houseplant or a plaque she can hang somewhere, she's always talking about how she forgets things so maybe you could get her a chalkboard or something organisational". Dk nodded "yeah that's a good idea thanks Wonwoo". 
Wonwoo nodded pleased when he saw Dk seemed to think that was the job done. "But you know you have to get her more than that don't you?" he asked. Dk sighed "like what!". Wonwoo resisted the urge to scold him and instead carried on "well some baked goods are always nice, what about that cupcake shop she likes so much?". Dk paused "what shop?”. "The one around the corner from her work? The one she always brings you a brownie from". "Ow yeah I could get her a cake from there, maybe chocolate". 
Wonwoo paused recalling you didn't like chocolate cake "or maybe something fruity considering it’s summer". Dk nodded "yeah good idea! Also maybe some wine?". "Well y/n's doing that detox thing right so many not alcohol, what about flowers?". "Yeah! Now which one is her favourite again". "I'm not sure but she likes blue right? Why not some bluebells?". Dk smirked "Wonwoo you are a genius! I think you know my girlfriend better than me " and he rushed from the room. Wonwoo nodded feeling sad "yeah maybe I do".
Woozi  - Makes a song about you
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Like The8 you were very fashionable and always looked good so you were pretty much destined to be a muse for a song. Sure enough it was one of the first things Woozi thought about you and initially, he judged you on it. 
He cast you off as a conceited idol only bothered about their image but the more he got to know you the more he realised he was wrong. You were also very kind, intelligent and funny. With each realisation Woozi got angrier and angrier because it became impossible for him to deny his feelings for you. When he couldn't take it any longer he just barricaded himself in his studio and poured his heart out into his music. It took him nearly 3 days of almost constant work but he ignored all his members' calls and worries and kept going. When it was done he felt like a weight had been lifted. He still cared about you but now he had a physical outlet for it. The members and company all loved his song and it was released on the next album. Every time Woozi performed it he thought of you and every time he sang those words it was you he was singing to. 
Once an interview remarked on how beautiful and emotional the song was and asked where it came from. Everyone looked to Woozi who said it came from his own life experience. Some of the members laughed “but you haven’t even dated anyone!” Hoshi cried. Woozi shrugged “you don’t have to date someone to fall in love” and all the members woahed thinking it was another line but it wasn’t. Woozi meant every word. 
Dk - Tries really hard to make you laugh
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Dk would've been obsessed with you even if you didn't have one of the most specific senses of humour ever. You were very cool and had a punk vibe to you which Dk was immediately attracted to...but you were dating Woozi so of course he never intended to act on it. However when Woozi proudly announced you were very hard to make laugh and only he could do it, Dk took that as a personal challenge. 
He began making it his mission to make you not just smile but laugh too. He tried everything, all his usual material, the seal joke, the being loud, the moving weirdly but nothing seemed to work. Then one day after he made a really corny dad joke you burst out laughing. Dk looked around stunned but nobody else was there. It was just the two of you but you were definitely laughing. You held your sides "that joke was so bad but it really got me". Dk grinned "you like that? Well there's more where it came from" and he launched into several similar jokes which provoked the same reaction. "Stop it you'll make me crack a rib" you smiled at him and Dk grinned "fine but now I know what material you like I'll be repeating this often" and he meant it. 
Dk thought you looked beautiful when you laughed and he wanted to bring out that happiness in you whenever he could. So he vowed he would, he might not be able to date you but he could always make you smile and that was almost as good. 
The8 - Makes sure your boyfriend looks good enough to be with you
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The8 and you were friends before you started dating Mingyu and while that slightly bothered him he knew he truly had nobody to blame but himself. Mingyu had seen how great you were and done something about it while The8 was still busy overthinking the whole thing. 
So The8 never got his chance with you but he still cared for you and showed it in numerous ways...like making sure Mingyu always looked good. It wasn’t a hard job by any means but you had a similar fashion sense to The8 and loved to take couple photos. You once confessed Mingyu didn’t dress up as much for said photos and that you wish he did. So The8 offered to help Mingyu with his wardrobe and took him on a shopping spree picking out lots of items he knew would look good on Mingyu AND that you’d like. He hyped Mingyu up and told him he should wear them on his next date. Mingyu was very flattered and agreed to buy the items very enthusiastically. 
The8 supposed some might’ve thought him stupid for helping the boyfriend of the girl he’s interested in but he didn’t see it that way. He saw it as helping two people he cared for and so he was happy knowing the two of you were together. If he couldn’t date you he was just pleased someone like Mingyu could.   
Mingyu - Cooks your favourite meal “by chance”
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Mingyu was not the type to “steal” one of his friend’s partners. He knew given his looks a lot of the members thought he could easily do that to them but he wouldn’t and with you he doubted anyone could steal you away from Seungkwan. The two of you had been together for years and you were so in love with him it would’ve been nice to see...if Mingyu didn’t also have feelings for you. 
So this was all to say he wasn’t cooking your favourite meal for any long-term goal. He just knew there was nothing better than a good home-cooked meal after you’d been on tour so he offered to help Seunkwan make it and of course the boy agreed. Mingyu did all the shopping, prepping, cooking and plating and then gave Seungkwan the credit. Mingyu didn’t really mind, he just wanted your first night back home to be good and hoped his cooking might contribute to that. 
You showed up while Mingyu was still cleaning the kitchen so he saw your reaction when Seungkwan said what you were having for dinner. You got so excited and happy. You confessed you hadn’t been eating properly and couldn’t think of anything better. Mingyu smiled seeing how happily you tucked into the food and then excused himself so the two of you could be alone. 
15 minutes later Mingyu heard a knock on his door and opened it to find you standing there. “Hey do you have a sec?” you asked and Mingyu nodded letting you inside, inwardly cursing himself for not tidying his already clean room. You smiled at him “so I just wanted to say...I love Seungkwan but I know he’s a terrible cook and so there’s no way he made dinner. You’re the only one who can cook this well here so I know it was you and I want to say thank you. I really appreciate you doing this for him”. “I didn’t do it for him” Mingyu said and then froze at your reaction. “I did it because you’re our friend y/n” he said quickly with a fake friendly smile and you immediately relaxed. “Thanks Mingyu that’s so sweet! I’m really glad we’re friends”. Mingyu nodded “yeah me too, now get back to him!”. You nodded and with one final smile disappeared back out of the door. Mingyu sighed wondering why he put himself through all this but he knew why. Seeing you happy made it all worth it, even if it wasn’t with him. 
Seungkwan - Invites you to absolutely everything
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Seungkwan hated himself for liking his best friend’s girlfriend but he couldn't seem to help it! Every time he was around you he fell deeper and deeper and even though he knew he should probably be avoiding you he found he couldn’t. So as he was getting ready for his parents’ anniversary party his thought were firmly on you and if he should’ve told Vernon he’d invited you. As if reading his thoughts Vernon paused “erm why did y/n just text me asking if there’s somehwere she can park her car?” Vernon asked. Seungkwan paused “ow didn’t I tell you? I invited y/n tonight”. Seungkwan held his breath waiting to see Vernon’s reaction but Vernon just shrugged “cool, I mean I figured it would just be your family and a few close friends but if your family are happy...”. Seungkwan nodded “yeah I mentioned it to them and they said it’s fine. I haven’t seen y/n in ages...and of course it’s been a few days for you too so I thought it’d be nice. “Didn’t you see her like 5 days ago?” Vernon asked. Seungkwan nodded “yeah but that was only for 2 hours cus she had to rush off to work”. Vernon smirked  “I think you just like seeing my girlfriend” he joked and Seungkwan laughed loudly before quickly leaving the room. 
He went outside for some air and of course saw you parking up. You got out, not spotting him and started struggling with the present in your hand. Seungkwan rushed over to help you, he caught it just as it fell out of your hand. You gasped before smiling “Seungkwan! Thank you so much, you just saved my life”. Seungkwan smiled “y/n you didn’t have to get my parents a present!” but you just shook your head. “Of course I did! I couldn’t just turn up empty-handed”. Seungkwan shook his head before noticing what you were wearing. You had a blue suit on and looked beautiful. Seungkwan struggled to speak but when he got it together he smiled “y/n you look amazing, is that a new suit?”. You looked down “this? No I’ve had it for years but never had a special occasion for it so figured I’d wear it today”. Seungkwan was just about to tell you it was a good choice when someone called his name. 
He turned to see his sister and waved. She came over and began scolding him for missing the party when she noticed you. “Ow, hello” she said and you smiled back. “This is y/n” Seungkwan said and his sister nodded “ow y/n! Seungkwan’s told us a lot about you, he’s very fond of you”. You smiled “aww that’s so sweet i’m very fond of him too” and you lightly squeezed his arm. Seungkwan blushed but you didn’t notice because Vernon had appeared. He waved to you and you waved back “sorry please excuse me, I can see my boyfriend” and you rushed away into Vernon’s arms. Seungkwan watched with a sad expression on his face and his sister sighed “so that’s the girl you’ve been in love with for years huh?”. Seungkwan was going to argue with her but then he decided not to. “Yeah” he nodded “I know i’m pathetic”. His sister shook her head “not at all! I know it hurts now but we can’t choose who we fall in love with so there’s no point beating yourself up about that...but the good news is she won’t be your only love. You’ll fall in love again and someday this will just be a distant memory”. Seungkwan nodded “I hope so”. “I know so” his sister smiled linking their arms “now let’s go enjoy this wonderful night for our parents” and they walked inside together. 
Vernon - Acts very awkward around you and stumbles over his words
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Vernon never really got crushes. He just wasn’t the type of person to fall in love easily and it almost never happened based on sight but with you it did. Dino came home with you one day from dinner and Vernon felt this immediate attraction to you. It was so unexpected Vernon didn’t know what to do with the emotion and so he was awkward around you every time. You’d been dating Dino for over a year by this point but still Vernon blushed if you made eye contact with him and felt like his legs were turning to jelly. So when you accidentally mistook him for Dino he almost lost his mind. 
It was Halloween and the whole group had gone to Scoups’ for a costume party. Vernon was having a good time watching all his members get drunk when he felt some arms around his waist. He naturally tensed at the action but he got even more rigid when he heard your voice. "I've been looking everywhere for you! How about we sneak away and..." you whispered in his ear when you finally saw his face. "Vernon!" you cried moving your hands from his body. "I'm so sorry I thought you were Dino, are you wearing the same costume?". "Erm no he's Luigi and I'm Mario...I mean I'm Mario and he’s Luigi. They're different...". You nodded "ow right, well I'm so sorry for grabbing you! I promise I had no idea, you know I’d never presume to touch someone like that”. Vernon “of course I know you’d never grab someone...don’t worry i’m not offended and not just because I know you, I can’t imagine anyone would ever be angry with you. Or if they were as soon as you spoke to them they’d get it and forgive you so erm don’t worry” he said wincing. You laughed “thanks Vernon! You having a good time?”.  He nodded “yep” feeling really warm all of a sudden “nice outfit” he said noticing you were dressed as Captain Marvel. You grinned “thanks! I don’t watch every Marvel film and I know you’re a big fan so that’s probably sacrilege but I watched Captain Marvel and loved it so Dino suggest I come as her”. Vernon nodded along “that was a good idea it suits you...I mean you look like her, well not really because she’s white and blonde but you don’t look weird in the outfit or anything”. You laughed “that’s exactly what I was going for, not weird” you joked and Vernon laughed along awkwardly. 
“Hey y/n” someone called you and turned to see Dino waving at you across the room. “There he is! I’m gonna go see where he’s been for the last half hour, you wanna come?”. Vernon shook his head “no I’m yes thanks. I mean i’m okay....good. Thank you”. You smiled “no worries, see you later” and walked away. Vernon let out a big breath once you’d left, feeling as if he’d just run a marathon or something. He loved talking to you but found it terrifying every time.  
Dino -  Challenges your boyfriend all the time
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Dino isn’t naturally a mean person but sometimes his ego gets the better of him and he couldn’t resist dragging your boyfriend Scoups a little. It’d be about anything really, when he gets the choreo before him, when Scoups had a big birthday coming up or when he was beating him in a game...
Dino finally hopped out of his hiding spot and shot Scoups’ avatar killing his final life. Dino’s team all cheered and he was the loudest one out of all of them. “What do you think of that hyung?” he called “told you I was going to beat you didn’t I? Well look at it now!”. The others all laughed as Dino continued to strut around and celebrated his victory.
Later on Scoups approached Dino when he left the room to get a drink “hey Dino can we talk for a second?”. Dino was slightly unsure but then he remembered you and his cockiness returned “erm sure but only if it’s really quick”. Scoups nodded “don’t worry it will be. Have I done something to offend you?”. Dino frowned “what makes you say that?”. “I don’t know I just feel this weird tension between us lately...I might be reading too much into things but I just wanted to mention it so I can apologise if I have upset you in any way”. Dino immediately felt guilty for laying into Scoups so much and he shook his head “no you haven’t. I’ve just been a little down lately and I think I’ve been taking it out on you so it’s me who should be sorry”. Scoups frowned “why what’s going on?”. Dino sighed “I just...all of you have such good partners and I don’t sometimes it makes me feel a bit jealous. I want that, I see you and y/n together and how perfect you are for one another and I...just get weird. I’m sorry...” he started but Scoups shook his head “it’s okay, I know it can be lonely sometimes but don’t worry you could find someone like that and even if you don’t you’re a great guy with so many friends and people who love you. You don’t need anyone to complete you or cement your success in life. You’re that person. Okay?”.  Dino suddenly remembered all the adoration and love he felt for his hyung and nodded “yeah I understand, thanks Scoups that's just what I needed”. Scoups smiled “anytime, now let’s go back inside. I left Jeonghan alone so he’s probably manipulated everyone into choosing him as the winner and they walked back in together. 
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444rockstargf · 7 months
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i’m not sure if your requests are open but, euronymous with with his first and only girlfriend he’s ever had sounds equally hot and adorable! they’re both each others firsts with everything; first kiss, first time, and first person they’d do literally anything for. she’s also into the metal scene, maybe that’s how they met, and is mayhem’s biggest supporter.
after every show, she take euro home and just praises the shit out of him while giving him whatever he wants. but she’ll never hesitate to put him in his place if he gets too rambunctious.
ask & you shall recieve :))
"my boyfriend's pretty cool, but he's not as cool as me." | euronymous
brooklyn baby. - lana del rey
✮⋆˙ [tags] @faesucksass @lustkillers @simply-stellar @mayathepsychic1999 @si1nful-symph0ny
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female!reader x euronymous
word count: 1083
contents: blowjob, slight facefucking, face painting (is that a thing? idk)
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by being mayhem’s number one fan, you’d managed to get the lead guitar player as your boyfriend. ever since the beginning of their stardom, euronymous had always been able to spot you cheering in the crowd. you’d had caught his eye and been on his mind since the very start.
he’d go home and practice his guitar with you on his mind. every concert, he’d show off a little just to try and impress you, and he succeeded. after a concert, he caught you outside walking down the street. he rehearsed his lines and took a deep breath before running up to you and shyly tapping you on the shoulder, a little smile on his face.
since then, you two have formed a perfect little love story for each other. you’d scream his name during concerts and tell him what a great job he did. your compliments and praise always made his heart soften. he’d take you out after a show to a nice little diner where you two would sit and talk for a while.
your relationship took a step to the next level when he pulled you into an alley one night after a show. you two took each other’s virginities right there, and that tightened the knot between the two of you even more. he would do absolutely anything for you, and it was safe to say that you’d do the same.
he’d take you home, where you’d praise him on doing so well. hearing those words come out of you always made his mind act some type of way. he’d pick you up and take you into his bedroom, laying you down on his bed and kissing you passionately. your sex drives were mirrored, but his always seemed to get even higher after a good performance.
he climbed on top of you, pulling your body into his. the kiss left you breathless, him leaving little to no room for you to catch it. he moved at a quick pace, his hand already creeping into your underwear. you tried to get a word in, but he was in his own world and didn’t get your message. he always liked taking charge, but a little change has never hurt anybody.
he was really getting into it, his chest heaving and his face flushing a bright red colour. he flipped you over so you were on top of him. he reached his hand to his pants which were already suppressing a throbbing bulge. as he unbuttoned his jeans and went to pull out his rock-hard cock, you grabbed his wrist, stopping him from making any further movement.
you gave him a cheeky little grin. “someone’s a needy boy tonight, huh?” you moved him a little so his back was against the headboard. his mouth was gaping, like he was struggling to get words out. you sat on his lap and looked down at how his dick strained against his boxers. you tsked, seeing how his precum was already leaking through the thin fabric.
at the start of your relationship, euro was surprised seeing you take charge. he fought back, telling you that you could never take his place, but you proved him wrong that night, showing him a realm of pleasure that he never could've imagined in his wildest dreams. he’d learned the hard way to just let you do what you wanted when you wanted to do it.
you crawled down so you were lying down on his lap. you rubbed him through his boxers before pulling out his cock, it springing out like a jack-in-the-box. “look at you… already so hard for me.” your words made him swallow hard. you were so good at belittling him and tearing down the firm walls of his ego.
you spat on the tip before giving it a few lazy strokes. he swallowed a low groan, trying to stop his hips from bucking into your touch. he looked at you through his cold blue eyes that held a mixture of emotions in them. you brought your lips to his tip, peppering soft little kisses all over it. your lips were glossy, dripping with his precum.
you felt his body starting to shake underneath you. slowly, you took his cock into your mouth, feeling it twitch as you welcomed it into your warm, soaking mouth. he gasped as you began bobbing your head up and down his length. as hard as he tried to keep all his noises at a minimum, he couldn’t help but whimper every time your nose touched his base and went up again.
you used a hand to massage his balls, using a technique that gave him eye-rolling orgasms every time. his brows knitted together as saliva and precum started bubbling from the corners of your mouth. sweet little breathless moans escaped his mouth, him keeping a gentle grip on the back of your head.
he occasionally got a little rough, starting to buck his hips into you without your approval. whenever he did so, you’d sink your teeth down a little, making him yelp. he’d shoot you a glare, and you’d give him the same look right back. you started jerking him off with your free hand as you swirled your tongue around his tip.
he threw his head back as he panted like a thirsty dog. his hips uncontrollably bucked into your mouth as your movements got more intentional. spit and cum were running down his balls, leaking onto the bedsheets. his breathing got painfully heavy as his cock twitched in your mouth. he tried forming words, but you moaned softly once your head was all the way down, making the knot in his stomach snap.
his hands grabbed your hair as he shot hot strings of cum into your mouth. he was a moaning mess, his jet-black hair plastered onto his sweaty forehead. his eyes rolled to the back of his head as you jerked him off even faster, making him paint your face with his cum. you made a complete mess of him, making him cum to your heart's content.
 you finally concluded the abuse on his sore cock, tucking it back into his stained boxers. you looked up and him as cum dripped from your face. he chuckled darkly before pulling your face up to his and locking you in a sloppy kiss. every time you decided to take the lead, it was certain that he was going to destroy you when the next opportunity arrived.
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author's note: thank you for the request!! this was a rlly fun one omg. here is the form if yall wanna get tagged when i post!
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strangesickness · 2 months
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i was talking about stan and his OCD the other day but i didn't really talk about how the other losers would act about it. so!
please remember that OCD is a varied condition and not everyone with it is like what is depicted in this post!
bill
at first stan keeps his obsessions to himself, he's pretty aware of what is a "typical" thought process and what is his brain being kinda weird
but eventually bill finds him having a panic attack over something seemingly mundane. young stan to me had obsessions that focused on the supernatural and "curses", so something like opening an umbrella indoors throws him into hysterics
and as soon as he realizes what he's doing he's humiliated, because like who the fuck cares? everyone knows that's just a stupid superstition, and he's so worried bill's going to think he's a weirdo or a coward
but bill is like. extremely reasonable about it, i think he's used to georgie getting upset over seemingly nonsensical things (the way kids do), so he's just used to treating things he doesn't understand with severity.
maybe there's nothing scary to him about opening an umbrella indoors, but its clearly upset stan and that's what matters here. he calmly asks him what he's upset about and reassures him that if it upsets him then its important
he gets stan to talk through it, bill brings up how richie always opens his umbrella indoors but nothing bad has ever happened to him because of it, which doesn't help a ton because OCD isn't typically very reasonable, but it helps a bit, and stan calms down enough that bill bringing up richie prompts him to go off on a rant about something stupid richie did at school while bill was gone
eddie
despite not having OCD eddie gets it, especially after he finds out that he isn't actually sick
eddie is the first person stan chooses to tell about the weird circles his brain runs in, because he knows eddie still carries around his fake inhaler
eddie isn't scared of the same things stan is, but he can understand being afraid of something he logically knows can't hurt him. they're pretty good at working each other out of panic attacks because of this
richie
(the things richie says to stan here are things you should never ever say to someone with OCD unless you have their express permission, stan finds it funny and helpful, and as someone with OCD so do i, but many will not, and talking like this could make their mental state worse and is just generally an asshole thing to do!)
on paper richie is an asshole to stan about his OCD, he calls him unreasonable, tells him he makes no sense, he's worrying over nothing, etc.
he frequently makes fun of stan's obsessions, if stan says something he thought because of his OCD richie will repeat it back to him in a Voice
but by some miracle this does wonders for stan
if anyone else was saying this stuff it would make him feel like shit, but because it's richie it's hilarious (not that he shows it)
richie assigning characters to his obsessions has managed to completely discredit some of them, and stan is straight up Not Bothered by some of them anymore because as soon as the thought pops up so does richie's voice and he can't take it seriously
there's the scandalized mother who thinks stan is a horrible person for not appreciating his meals properly or something
there's the conspiracy theorist trying to convince stan curses are real
and there's the high school coach who acts like stan is a one man army and they're going to lose the entire war if stan doesn't fold his sheets properly
stan doesn't want to give richie credit for his improved mental state because the way he did it is ridiculous, but yeah, richie and his voices have definitely helped
beverly
bev is great at Not Talking About It and Being Normal About It
stan will say something extremely concerning (use your imagination, i don't want to provide an example lol), and bev is like "yeah thats fucked up." and then they move on
he never gets the feeling she's brushing him off or anything, she'd definitely Actually Talk About It if he asked, but sometimes he just needs to get the thought out there and then immediately move on
sometimes it is exhausting to actually talk about feelings, sometimes stan just needs to express that he's feeling something, be acknowledged, then move on
"i just thought [insert concerning compulsion he doesn't want to do]" "or we could skip class and build a snowfort before all these other assholes ruin the fresh snow at lunch"
stan never feels judged in the slightest when he's with bev, and it helps free him of some of the judgment in his own mind :)
ben
ben is so so so good at listening, not only is he just the only nice 13 year old stan has ever met, he has one of those faces yknow?
he finds himself telling ben things it took him nearly a decade of friendship to tell bill
ben is clearly confused and concerned, but he never makes stan feel like he's unreasonable
stan usually only tells his friends about his specific obsessions when they've bottled up and are about to explode, or when he's in the midst of a panic attack
but with ben he feels like he can talk about the other stuff that comes with it, the impact his thought processes have had on his life
ben offers suggestions from time to time, not all of them stick, but the ones that do really help stan out
mike
mike finds a way to keep stan from worrying about anything at all
stan could spend all day worrying about something, and then mike shows up and explains some new topic to stan and it's like stan wasn't even stressed in the first place
stan can't even count the number of times mike has gone through an explanation of the history of derry, or what various states are known for, or the tasks mike does at the farm, or the history of some obscure scientific/cultural phenomenon
stan genuinely loves hearing about anything mike wants to talk about, but he also just finds mike to be a really engaging speaker to the point he stops thinking about whatever was bothering him
it is very much a win/win situation
sometimes mike will manage to pull him out of whatever was worrying him and get him to talk about birds and the boy scouts and they always end up having a ton of fun :)
the losers love stan and he loves them <3
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tihgnari · 2 years
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ꕤ 38. you're not a horrible person
tw: none / wc: 1.6k
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"i thought you'd never show up," was the first thing yoimiya tells you as soon as she sees you barreling down the narrow hallway of their dorm. 
the door's already open, your blonde friend waiting patiently for you like she said she would. you had merely shrugged as a reply, hands hidden inside the pocket of a random coat you saw inside the closet (you think it's kokomi's, it smells like her).
yoimiya makes small talk on the way to the canteen, and you're grateful she isn't pressuring you to reply because you weren't listening, to begin with. but hey, her chattering is better than complete silence. 
"wait, can we make a detour? i think i left my scrunchie in one of the classrooms…"
you nod, letting her drag you to an empty hallway.
maybe you should've thought of it harder when you saw kokomi leaning against a door, as if she was waiting for someone. it seems that someone is yoimiya, in particular, if the flash of recognition in her eyes was anything to go by. 
kokomi pushes herself off the door and starts walking towards the both of you in haste, a glint in her eye you can't read but didn't think much of. a mistake on your end. 
you miss the wordless communication shared between yoimiya and kokomi until the next thing you know, your pink-haired friend swung the classroom door wide open, shoved you inside, and had already shut the door closed with a resonating bang.
your eyes met ayaka's and it felt like the world was at a standstill. she leans on a desk at the front, parallel to the professor's podium. 
she looks just as lost as you do. 
before you even got the chance to ask what was going on, yoimiya's voice echoes inside the classroom. 
"we're not letting you guys out until you talk and make up!"
ayaka appears next to you, banging on the door. "let us out this instant, yoimiya! kokomi!"
you can't help but roll your eyes, distancing yourself from her as you sit at one of the desks, letting your legs dangle. you dig for your phone to text/yell at your two friends. only to fume when you see there was no signal. 
great, fucking fantastic.
"aren't you listening?" kokomi says from the other side of the door. "we're not letting you both out until you make up and become friends again."
you shot out the desk in anger, marching towards the door before banging on it with an open palm. 
"well, fucking good luck with that because i'm never going to be friends with this spoiled rich kid ever again!"
"excuse me?" ayaka raises an eyebrow. you don't spare her a single glance before spinning on your heel and walking back towards the spot you were sitting on earlier.
"what, did i lie? are you going to call me a liar and a shitty person, again? call me names while looking at me like i'm so inferior to you?"
"how many times do i have to say that i –"
"i'm not having this conversation with you again, ayaka," you turn your back on her, busying yourself on your phone. "whether you like to admit it or not, you lumped me together with those shitty friends you had in the past, so if that's what you thought of me the whole time we were friends… i don't want anything to do with you."
the flash of hurt in ayaka's eyes invokes a feeling of regret in your heart. but it was gone as soon as her eyes hardened and she opened her mouth. 
"the feeling's mutual, then."
she says, and you don't dwell on the fact that you find no hint of conviction in her words. 
an hour of silence went and passed excruciatingly slower than ayaka liked to admit. you sat on the other end of the empty lecture room, while ayaka sat on the opposite. 
dark enveloped the room save for the giant windows on the far wall, on your side of the room. a glance from ayaka's phone made her realize it's already 9 o'clock in the evening and her stomach's been growling for thirty minutes. 
she gets up from the floor, walking towards the door with purpose in every step. 
"yoimiya! kokomi! i'm getting hungry. just let us out already, this is stupid!"
she steals a glance at you, startled to see your eyes already on her figure. you pocket your phone and stand, ayaka takes a step back as you approach, wanting to distance herself from you. the nasty glare you shot at her was something she didn't miss. 
you sigh, annoyed. "can't you guys just accept that we ended our friendship and stop forcing us to get along?!"
"don't act like you don't have ayaka's twitter notifs on like you do her brother's! i know you still care for her, yn! stop being stubborn!"
"no, i don't! i'm not –" you scoff. "i'm not stubborn!"
seeing as the conversation is going nowhere, ayaka interferes. "you heard her, she said she doesn't care and she's not stubborn. now open the fucking door already!"
"nuh-uh," it's kokomi this time. "you're not any better! don't make me talk about that dummy account you made right after you blocked yn's twitter account!"
an unreadable look flashes both of your faces and suddenly, you can't seem to meet ayaka's eyes, neither can she to you. 
the door clicks open and a certain blonde slides a bento between the narrow gap. you barely manage to grab the door to try and fight it open, but a student athlete like yoimiya was obviously stronger than you – also, you minded where you were stepping on, not wanting to accidentally step on the food. 
the door shuts once again, everything happening too quickly that ayaka had merely stood still like a statue throughout. 
"there, food! we can do this all night, besties, so take your time!" yoimiya giggles. 
you groan slumping by the door and looking at the little bento they bought for you both. it was a meal meant for one person, so it's either you're going to fight for it or… you're going to have to share. 
"you didn't even give us chopsticks! how are we going to eat this?!" as if on cue, someone slides a single pair of disposable chopsticks under the narrow gap of the door. 
the way ayaka said "wow, thanks," was clipped and irate but she took the chopsticks nonetheless. 
you take off the plastic lid of the bento box before sliding it wordlessly towards ayaka, who looks at you like you grew two extra heads. 
you roll your eyes. "what?"
"you're giving it to me?"
"i don't want another late night trip to the emergency room just because you fainted," ayaka merely blinks at what you're saying. "i mean… yoimiya and kokomi would force me to come and make another attempt to get you and me to become best friends again."
you were just about to move to stand when ayaka suddenly faced you, arm outstretched, giving you the chopsticks. 
ayaka says something that makes you pause. 
"with my brother's engagement being the talk of the town, i doubt you're in any good shape. let's just set aside our differences first and share a meal." 
a deep shade of red sets itself on ayaka's cheeks. 
"…and maybe, talk about… you know, us?"
you scoff with a hint of playfulness. "the way you say 'us' makes it sound like you and i are dating. i'm getting shivers all over so quit it."
you take the first bite before giving her the chopsticks back.
is this it? is this the part where you both talk it out like adults instead of screaming insults at one another? 
you wait for ayaka to say something, anything, as you take turns taking a bite out of the contents in the bento box yoimiya prepared. you shove the last piece of egg roll in your mouth, determined to apologize after you finish chewing. 
but ayaka beats you to it. 
"you're right, the promise was stupid."
you nearly choked on the egg roll.
"i gave it some thought, a few days after we fought at the hospital."
"ayaka…"
"just know that i never really thought shallowly of you. that was never my intention. it's my fear of what happened in the past clouding my judgement and that was all me, all my fault, and something i had to work on myself. isn't it ironic? i wanted to have actual good friends but i, myself, can't be one. i'm deeply sorry for that."
you can see her forming her thoughts in her head and you wait patiently for her to continue. 
"i've been feeling really sorry. to you and to my brother as well. especially because it's kinda also my fault why he's getting married to some girl he doesn't love.
if i hadn't made you promise me, maybe you both could've been happy with each other and realizing that kinda sucks, you know? am i this horrible of a person? that's why i haven't been talking to him – i can't face him knowing i was partially the reason he and you are unhappy."
you see droplets of her tears meet the carpeted floor of the classroom. you move the bento to the side and offer ayaka a tight hug.
"i forgive you. you're not a horrible person, ayaka. you've been through something traumatic, what you did was your defense mechanism and that's not your fault. i'm sorry i called you a spoiled brat and that you deserved the way you were treated in the past. that was a real shitty move, i should've been the bigger person and tried to knock some sense into you but i lashed out myself."
"…you also called me a rich kid. derogatory."
you laugh. "yeah, i'm sorry for calling you that, too."
ayaka laughs along with you as she pulls away from your hug, drying her tears. 
"so, will you move back to our dorm again?"
"will you let me drive your white lexus?"
"…fine."
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LOWKEY » previous : masterlist : next
a kamisato ayato social media au
summary — it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he’s off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?
notes — lmao i said last night but i fell asleep :< so here i am updating before going to sch yaaas
🏷 i. @rinrinchin @nejibot @mich-cola @viiolettee @katsumikumo @kaz3yo @starryeyedkoko @xingqiusliegee @selenshinitai @boxdisappeared @lovelyycherries @ferumie @love6cks @kiyowoir @luvvmeilin @blackberri-jelli @moonlightbqe @kazooms @tricethecharm @lynnforever @kaedear @xiaoisahawtie @crowbird @apotatouwu @xinii @euryrue @aequha​@nuttytani @plinkuro @choco-rei @aixaingela @milesluvrrad @windasteriaa @cherrytomato2 @zannivrs @k4miyato @eishtar @wccycc @ceylestia @sweet-almonds @ayatobro @animewolflover278 @queenaveryrules @veyu002 @ukinya @ventis-dandelion @adeptusx @x-xxiaos @loveyoutothestars @ssalamanderr
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hisui555 · 2 months
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Hazbin Hotel thoughts
"How are they with kids ?"
Hazbin Hotel Bonus 1 (Hell cast + drawings of them) here
Hazbin Hotel Bonus 2 (Heaven cast + babysitting + drawings of them) here
Masterpost here
Something popped into my mind and I thought I'd share. A good while back, there was a stream (Hunicast I think ?) where the question "How good are they with kids ?" was asked, and suddenly that same question entered my mind about the villain characters :
What about the Vees ?
We know how some of the Hazbin crew would interact (if it's still canon) with children : Angel is the "friendly irresponsible" type - would never harm a child but would bring them to inappropriate places. Husk is actually surprisingly good with kids, knows how to distract them, catch their interest (it helps that apparently he knows magic showman tricks) and just plain care for them. Alastor is more distant and a bit behind the times in terms of discipline - he'd slap a kid if they were being a little shit, but won't harm them otherwise, even if scaring them for life isn't off the plate, and be generally decent if maybe annoyed. Vaggie if I remember right isn't comfortable with children, probably because she'd feel in over her head and has a short-ish fuse.
I don't remember what was said about Charlie (if anything was said at all), but my bet would be that she'll infantilize them a great deal - like treating a 10 y-o like a barely-able-to-walk toddler, with huge amounts of coddling and babying (all in all, not that far from how she treats Sinners). For Cherri, I don't think she was brought up (or my memory is failing me), but again, my personal bet would be that she'll be "friendly irresponsible" like Angel, but cranked up : sure you can throw that bomb, it's fun ! Just remember to let it go in ti- aww, c'mon, don't cry, yes your eyebrows will grow back. I know what'll cheer you up : wrecking that building !
But, yeah, what about the Vees ?
Well, here are my thoughts :
Vox would have the personality to deal with a child, but not the skills. He'd keep that CEO everything-is-fine-just-as-planned smile plastered on, and give Polite Interest (TM) to whatever squiggly drawing is pushed under his non-existent nose, listen with only one hearing sensor while 15 other tabs are open in the background of his brain, Wii music playing optional, analyzing graphs and stats while complimenting that pretty dragon pic ("It's a unicorn !" That pretty unicorn pic as he said) or distractingly commenting to the kid rambling ("I almost fell in a well yesterday." "Mh-hm." "I could've died." "That's wonderful, dear.") and spouting facts (unless about sharks. THAT gets his attention - one of the only times it's genuine and 100% and did I show you my pet Vark ?). He'd be generally patient (when your boyfriend is Valentino, kids are nothing next to that) and treat it just like one of his interviews, hypnosis included (Why won't you go for a nap, hm ? For the fifth time today ?) because like I said : skills ? Nuthin'. He'd be unable to wrap his flat-screened head about a kid's needs or why they cry, being unable to differenciate a "I'm hurt" from "I'm hungry" or "I'm scared" from "I'm sad because I'm missing my teddybear", so he'll go trial-and-error.
He'd be the type of babysitter that doesn't really interact much with the kid, letting them be, only keeping an eye on them while multitasking (cameras, right ?) and/or letting them play around him, as long as they don't cause a structural fire, fall in the shark tank, stick weird things in power outlets or bite the cables. Even better, stick them in front of a TV show and leave them there, only checking from time to time, with a pat on the head and a pinch of the cheek for good measure, calling them "dear", "darling", "squirt" or "champ" - but rarely, if ever, by name - as an afterthought, filling that "bare minimum affection" quota on the check list. Won't harm the child, because What Do You Think It'll Do For Our Image first, and not inclined to resort to that second, but if inspired will use the hell outta them (Voxtek ! Presenting new child-approved Vloops cereal ! New Voom flavor for kids ! Trust us with your children's happiness and diabetus !) and get ratings. In general, decent in personality and watching this mancub fumble around with semi-amused interest, like one takes a coffee break from work to check memes. Knows that getting angry won't help squat, so keeping the ankle-biter distracted and out of his hat is his way of dealing with it if he can't make more money out of them.
Velvette on the other hand would be the complete inversion : good child-handling skills, bad personality. She will immediately know what's up and pinpoint the exact issue no problems, but generally doesn't have the patience to deal with a kid. She'll stick the child in a corner with two toys within a chalk outline of three square meters at best and tell them to stay there, I'm busy putting together a show, dammit, I don't have time for you. Might be mildly verbally abusive, at best quite snippy. She has her fare share of frustrations and annoyances with stupid employees and stupider tantrum-throwing pissbabies, no need to add another one. Complains the whole time about the ordeal on her phone and social media between two shoots. Expect Mordecai Heller (Lackadaisy) levels of art critique each time a drawing is shown to her, and will deal with tears or tantrums by throwing the convoited item at the kid - the sooner it goes away, the faster she can go back to her business. Type of babysitter to be in another room and rarely check on the kid, telling them to shut up, stop singing or play less loudly, she's in the fucking middle of something here. Will make it VERY CLEAR to people asking that no, hell's sake, she won't babysit for long, today is just an unavoidable exception. Ignore the brat, folks, it's like a wallflower : decorative and useless.
Might incorporate the kid into her show or photoshoots (especially if Vox slipped her the idea to use the kid) to sell new fashion trends and as a child model, generally for cutie points and the attention it provides, especially if it makes people green with envy. Might still not call the kid anything other than "brat", "midget" and "shrimp", and you better strike that pose right and face the camera the proper way. However, food and naptime is provided right on the dot, and if left to play in a room, the room itself is not bad at all, and Melissa will be asked to keep an eye on them, nope, no raise, just do it or else you're fired. Might dump the child to Vox or Valentino whenever possible, or keep them around as a glorified clothing prop she fusses around, adjusting that bow, straightening those folds. Might also soften a bit if the child is very well-behaved and shows an interest in what she does, calling her designs cool and her style pretty, and not asking lots of questions.
Now, Valentino. And here's the thing : he'd be very good with kids. Which to any outsider makes it "awww", but for anyone who really knows him ? Absolutely TERRIFYING. This sweet voice and cute nicknames ("cariño", "cariña" - hope I got it right - name nicknames, cooing and practically purring it out), propping them on his hip, parading around, and would you look at that, aren't those pretty lights ? That's right, they're from the spotlights ! Wouldn't you like to look ? while pinching cheeks and booping noses and poking at ribs, promising a candy bar or lollipop if they behave nicely for "uncle Val", and everyone else who has been on the receiving end of this in a WILDLY different context just shivers with fear. And that's the worst : he'll be decent to kids, adorable even (nevermind consciously playing up the endearing points), and still be able to sent that cold death glare and smiling rictus over his shoulder to his employees so that they better get in line for work already. Kid will only see the surface, super-nice moth guy with fluffy wings showing them around and everything, others (the ones with morals) see the monster underneath and really do hope children aren't on his pimp radar. And Val will let them keep guessing, because pragmatically, the imaginary-but-still-implied threat works very well, and he has no interest in someone that's no fun to break, unlike adults who are much more satisfying to bring to their knees : the higher they are, the harder they fall, and the resulting control is just gratifying. Even Vox will be queasy about it at times, but hope he knows Val well enough and choose to ignore it (as long as nothing Harms The Image) and go back to business, Velvette is grateful for Valentino's babysitting skills, but if Val is in a bad mood ? Better drop the kid at Vox'. Becoming a casualty to Val's tantrums is a low chance for a child, but let's not damage the PR along with the brat, shall we.
I don't think Valentino would censor himself around the kid, even if he'll be decent while addressing them : one minute going wait here for me, okay [name]-ita/ito ? and the next second screaming at the top of his lungs over his shoulder OKAY BITCHES AND FUCKS WE'RE TAKING IT BACK FROM THE TOP ! and just barely keeping the kid out of sight in a room corner or adjacent room, like having the playpen barely behind the obscuring wall or something (whereas Angel Dust would probably use euphemisms - despite still cursing - around them and, while entering the studio with the kid, keep them in his own break-room (and the lot of questionable items he likes and that could fall in curious grabby hands, because he Didn't Thought This Through) while he works, preventing them from directly seeing anything). On the subject of Angel, he'll probably have a near heart attack seeing Valentino with a kid around him, knowing what he's truly capable of, and hoping it's not what he thinks it is (it's not, but Valentino is well-aware of the effect and if it makes his employees more compliant, might as well, relishing in the fear it causes). His way of dealing with tantrums or coaxing into behaving is either a cold glare and intimidating with silent anger and a very low voice (basically, scare-tactic), or playing keep-away with things, as in once you behave, you can have it. You wouldn't want me to keep it locked somewhere you can't reach, right ? Good. On the other side, expect faux-fussing and cooing for a child that's genuiely hurt, see how good a caretaker he is, right ? what do you mean he likes when someone is dependent on him to be comforted and happy, pffft, that's just your imagination.
Conclusion : hypothetically, none of them are above using a kid for their own goals, with next to no empathy outside a connecting point or two (sharks for Vox, maybe fashion for Velvette, and admiring Valentino - or just, boost their egos by fawning over their work/supposed smarts/prettiness, that works too), and while they'd be mostly decent towards the kid on a basic level (needs are taken care of, no (intentional) physical abuse, no neglect), they will be directly or indirectly manipulative, with calculated affection and praise. Healthy people to be around, I'm telling you.
Bonus :
For Sir Pentious, I think he'd just be plain lost, especially with modern kids and their needs (he's from the 1800's). Or paranoid the child is plotting his double-death when the local 5 y-o he got saddled with is merrily pushing buttons haphazardly on his blimp and no, no, not the death ray ! I, Ssssir Pentious, command you to let go of the Hyperbeam Dessssimator this inssstant ! That, or he'll try to transform them into one of his minions - and keep any stickman drawing offered to him in his secret room, after squishing it to his heart with welling-up, shiny gloopy eyes.
I don't remember if Niffty was brought up too, but she'd be rather... extreme. With a very fifties mentality of what caring for children implies, with leftover gender stereotypes. She'd be puzzled by a girl playing with toy cars and putting them to bed like some flipped-on-the-back beetle (pun intended) in the Barbie sheets, or a boy not being that much of an airplane fan. She would come around, but expect at least one that's not how you do it, and some hyper rants about killing bugs and CLEANING. However, she'll be very careful about dangerous items : no touching the bleach without her supervision ! Even if she'll tell the kid the hundred and a half ways of killing stuff with it.
For the Overlords : I admit I'm just drawing a blank on Zestial, I guess he'd just observe kids from afar but not really interact. Tall, Dark and Spidery would rather not interact, but I guess he'll point a lost kiddo in the right direction once in a while.
Rosie would just be the politest, most accomodating, patient, motherly figure, the talk about your emotions and how does that make you feel kind (I mean, we all watched Episode 7, right ?). Just watch out for the slow but steady conversion into a potential cannibal, because Oh you've never tried these, dearie, it's a delicacy ! Now, you're a forever-not-growing child, you need your calcium. And what's better than taking it from the source ? These bones are good for yours ! If unconvenienced by behavior, she'll show The Disappointmed Frown, and you better go to your room. Might still believe in spanking (by hand, no objects) as punishment. We don't do tantrums here, sweetie, we're classy, helldammit.
Carmilla is just a confirmed mom, maybe strict and an iron lady, but she deeply loves her own children, and it shows. Other kids don't bother her at all. A stern talking is what they need if misbehaving. She's protective, but not overprotective, and kinda the learn-from-your-experiences type (unless said experience would end fatally, because then she'll intervene). She aims to teach independence and self-sufficiency, and while blunt at times in her approach, her praise and affection are completely sincere and given without a second thought.
I don't know the other Overlords enough to tell how they would react to kids.
Okay, well, this blew up to a whole thing. Ah well, I'm known for my skyscrapers anyway. Have a cookie, you've certainly burned a lot of calories just by reading this, you really earned it.
(And seriously, just choose Carmilla as a babysitter.)
Again, Masterpost here.
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kurosstuff · 1 year
Note
Hello, how are you doing? :)
Since requesrts are open and your writing is marvelous, I wanted to request an Azula x gn reader oneshot/fic where reader is a childhood friend who grew distant to Azula over time, but is now chosen to be her fiancé in an arranged marriage.
You don't have to write it, but I still hope you likr the idea!
Have a great day ^^
Hi! I'm doing better at least! Thank you so much♡ It means so much to me to hear you like my writing!
I'd like to apologize for not writing this sooner- was taking a break with long fics- and idk how accurate azula is still- haven't watched fhe show in so long-! Also hope I got Ozai ok? Never wrote anything with him in it before I don't think
-
I got carried away♡.. this came out as more of a reconnection type thing? Eh- maybe that's good?
Summary: read ask♡
Warnings(?): azula being azula, reader freaks out/panics alot, ozai, soft(?) Azula(she's like kinda nice sometimes); slight angst. Misunderstanding(but not really), friends to strangers to lovers(?), both reader AND azula are oblivious on how they really feel,
Azula x G/N reader: arranged
Being azulas friend had its ups and downs
Mostly downs
"Oh, come on, Y/N. Don't such a kid, " Azula grumbled, trying to get you to stay still. She read a trick where if someone still stays, a firebender can hit the target above the person's head without any injury. In a book for children for whatever reason. "I'd never hurt you," which is partly true - Azula wouldn't hurt you on purpose, or she would - you weren't actually sure
But like time- friendships come and go.
As you grew older, you saw how awful of a person Azula was turning out to be. How cruel of a person she truly was - how little care she had for another being - even her own brother. Seeing how she was amused and not concerned for her brother during the Agni Kai- you decided enough was enough.
This 'friendship' was becoming too dangerous too frightening. You were aware you can't just up and end the friendship you decided to distance yourself from her. Feeling confident, she wouldn't notice the change
-
You weren't sure if she ever noticed- if by chance she did. She never said or gave the indication she knew. After a couple of months, you stopped coming around to hang out.
You felt bad, but you believed this was for the best.
It's been almost a three full year when you received the letter. One you'd overlook if it weren't for the very specific golden charm closing the envelope showing it was from the royal family. Usually, being given this letter is either an honor or.. something much worse. Swallowing down your nerves, you sat down staring at the envelope for almost an eternity. Opening it carefully, you begain to read.
Everything seemed normal in the letter besides the fact you are to be summoned to the Fire Lord himself for something. Totally normal. Not like your gonna die or anything. Be shipped off to war maybe? You'd 100% are not worried.
Nope.
-
Rushing to get ready, you practically jumped in the air in Fright when you heard the knocking on the door. Your nerves were shot, and this whole thing was just making it worse.
You almost hoped to not see her there. But that'd be impossible since she lived there. Opening the door two guards stood infront of you looking at you sternly.
"Are you Y/N?" Nodding your head yes- you didn't trust your voice at the moment. They turned and gestured to follow "come. We will escort you to the Palace"
-
You don't remember anything on the way there - it was all a blur - you blame it on your nerves, but it did help distract from the imitating Palace. Until you got there. The two guards stepped out and opened the door for you - following them the huge door to the Palace opened slowly with a creek. You took a deep breath and stepped in- turning you watched as the doors closed, sealing your fate. Locking you in - A sound of someone clearing their throat caught your attention
"This way," following closely, you dared not speak, not trusting your voice - and for the fact your throat was so dry a word couldn't get out when if you wished it.
Being led by two fully armed guards was almost as unnerving as the lack of decorations in the halls leading to the Fire Lords office. It was devoid of anything to show the human side of him - if there was any. The only lights shown were from flames - obviously, one's from the Fire Lord himself probably made. The only sounds you could hear was the sound of your heart beating harshly in your ears and the metal taps of the swords on the guards.
Stopping in front of huge double doors, they turned to you unblinking. "He's inside." Was all they said before they opened the doors for you. Once you stepped in they shut loudly the candles blowing out closest to you leaving you alone in the dark- minus the glow of flamed down the hall. Clenching your hands you took a deep breath and tried to relax-
The closer you got to the flames- the more the urge to run as far as you could got worse- alarm bells ringing in your head at the thought of this all going wrong. Something practically 100% possible. Even on his good days, he would be cruel. Stopping in front of the flame wall blocking you from the full view of the man himself - Fire Lord Ozai. His face covered in the shadows from how he sat, but the flames didn't hide how terrifyingly huge he looked - bowing in respect you were about to great him- before he put his hand up to stop you
"Do you know why I asked you here?"
It took you a moment to gain the courage to respond - surprisingly, he allowed you the moment - as if he thought you actually knew the reason. "No, Fire Lord Ozai. I do not. " A deep hum was all you got in return - fabric moved, glancing up, you gulped.
He stood up.
Walking towards you, the flames moved, almost glinding out of his way like a door - he stood before you. Moving his hand in a gesture, you understood to stand straight up , your eyes cast away in respectfear. Walking around you in a circle.
Like a predator hunting his prey. He stood in front of you again after a moment. "Yes. You are perfect." The odd complaint from him did nothing to ease you - seeing your confusion, he hummed."There's an arrangement. Obviously, your Father never told you." The look you held did nothing to stop him,"the arrangement was. His firstborn was to marry my firstborn." The words he spoke caused a mixed sense of emotions in you- confusion, anxiousness. And fear from what was your next thought.
His firstborn was banished.
"But. Giving the events that unfolded with my firstborn. The agreement changed a bit. You will marry my second born."
Clicks of footsteps echoed behind you. You didn't dare look behind you.
"You are to marry my daughter- Azula. Whom I was made aware you were friends of sorts." Turning away, he walked back to his throne. "You will be Wed in two months."
Behind you, someone cleared their throat, turning around, and froze. Azula stood arms crossed, staring at you - almost glaring from how narrowed her eyes were. The same smug smirk from years ago is still present. She almost didn't seem to change much but all the more terrifying. Even if deep down you were happy to see her
"Well. Hello Y/N, " she spoke, voice coming out in a condescending purr. "It seems like we have some catching up to do." Turning, she gestured you to follow her
-
You followed Azula to her room. You've been in it once before, but that was years ago. Before you felt comfortable - now you felt uneasy - tense about the whole thing. Standing far away from the bed but close enough, you looked around the room - it looks the same as it did, but with some added things such as plants and a new dresser replacing the old silver one she used to own.
Azula sat on her bed, pulling some books out to go through every once in a while, looking up at you - face unreadable. Shows how much has changed before you could tell what she was thinking even if she wouldn't show it - now it's like she's a new person - and in a way, she is.
"What's the matter with you?" Azula asked(more like demanded), looking over at her- Azula seemingly growing frustrated at the books in her hands- what about you weren't sure. Turning towards you with eyebrow raised an annoyed look on her face. You haven't answered her yet
"Oh- uh, nothing. Why?" Humming she placed the book down on her lap- gesturing towards the bed. Getting the message you sat down on the edge. She sat silent for a moment before sighing.
"Look." She started after a while. She took a second to think her response through - it was an odd sight. Azula glanced at you- raising an eyebrow at the unnerved state you were in. Standing up, she walked to her counter. "I get it. The situation we're in is weird. " Pulling some object out, she turned to face you. Handing it to you. It looked like a squishy turtle duck
Seeing the confusion on your face when you took it, she sighed, facing away from you once the look of realization hit you. "You always needed something to hold to calm down when you got like this." She spoke, sitting down beside you. Turning it around the squish toy was the same one you were given- and forgot about years ago. When you and Azula were close. The same accidental burn mark on the shell of the toy. You still remember how she gave it too you
-
Sitting on the bench, you held your hurt, burning hand crying. Clutching them close - you knew you shouldn't have let Azula talk you into doing such a trick.
A dangerous trick - yet she did. And here you sat hurt.
And alone.
Hurried footsteps came from behind you - you knew those footsteps. Sitting upright, you used your uninjured hand to whip the tears away harshly. You didn't want to give Azula another reason to tease you.
"There you are" she spoke. Sitting next to you she held something behind her. Face slightly flushed from either embarrassment or what you didn't know- nor gave it much thought once a toy was shoved in your face "here- I. I heard from the towns people that a thing called a 'squishy' helps calm people down. Brings comfort or whatever. So take it. It's yours" Holding it in your hand you smiled tearfully. Azula looked like she practically softened before she turned to your hand- huffing she gestured for it
"we need to clean this."
-
The memory brought a happy smile to your face. Looking up, you saw the quick look of relief on Azulas face before it hardened. "..you kept it?" A shrug was all you got in response for a moment
"Of course I did." Azula mumbled before clearing her throat, brushing you off without a word. Turning away from you - Azula was silent as you messed with the squishy in your hand. Turning towards you, she opened her mouth before shutting it. This caused to pause - Azula never hesitates, nor does she stop until she gets what she wants. Somethings wrong
Before you could ask, a knock came at the door. After giving permission, a maid came in bowing, "My lady, your training room is ready for you." A wave of her hand and the maid ran off hurriedly down the hall.
"You're coming with me." Azula spoke standing. She walked to the door, glancing back at you - an eyebrow arched. Obviously she was waiting for you to follow. Trying to swallow your nerves you jumped up putting the squish on the bed before turning to follow Azula.
The walk was quiet
-
Entering the training room a couple test dummies stood around the room. Arms stretched out like you used to see from the target practice dummies you'd come acrossed before.
"Sit there- I'll be back" Azula pointed towards some benches a bit far off- you sighed- it's better to just let her do what she says half the time anyways.
After you sat on the bench, Azula moved to the changing room. Her mind jumbled. Scattered around, and she couldn't think of a good reason as to why. Pacing back and forth, she clenched her jaw angrily
Azula was panicking on the inside - ever since she found out it was you, she was to marry. Even worse when she saw you. Would she be a horrible wife? Be like her father and treat her spouse horribly to the point of another abandonment? No. She won't be like him. Azula refuses to treat the one she's bound to in such a way - even Azula isn't that cruel of a person. She's not soft - she's not kind either. She knows the reason why you left her even if you didn't say.
It was her fault
Learning the first choice of who you were originally gonna be married to didn't help her feel good at all. Did you know you were gonna marry her brother? That you left cause of that? The selfish, selfish side of Azula prayed that was the real reason you left. She knows it's not, but it's just easier to think
She wants to prove that she's the best choice - the only choice. Of course, the arranged part of the marriage didn't make her feel happy made her feel horrible. If you were to marry her, she'd want it to be of your free will - not be forced.
Azula stopped pacing. What? Why is that the thing she's focused on. Blinking she crossed her arms. Of course the thought of someone being forced to marry her set an uneasy feeling inside her, but. The thought of marrying you wasn't bad at all-
Why is that? It makes no sense why Azula was and still is hung up on a loss of a friend. The loss of you since the beginning was horrible. It made her sick- she'd admit it only to herself now that she missed you- but.. why does she feel relief from the thought of marrying you? Was it cause she knew you?
Shaking her head she quickly got dressed
-
Fiddling with your thumbs, you glanced around the room - thankfully, in a more relaxed mood. Your heart no longer felt like leaping out of your chest. The whole area was spotless- which wasn't a surpise given how certain people would react to a messy training hall. You shuddered at the memory.
Looking over when the door opened, your face flushed a bit. Azula was already looking your way when she came out. Without a word, she stepped up and moved the dummies a bit before she begins she started to stretch. Standing straight she smirked back at you.
"Keep those eyes on me," she begain her training. Hitting the dummies far back with a punch in the air- blue flames came out in a flicker illuminating her air and passing some of the training dummies closest- but surprisingly never touching them. Only hitting her target
It wasn't much of a surpise on how good of a fighter Azula was- but you can't help but you can't help but still be surprised at how well she can control her flames. You've seen fire benders fight and train before, this wasn't the first- but it was the first seeing just how different she was to the others. If anyone else tried this. Tried to hit the target from the farthest to the front. 100% the flames passing the others would be hit and burned, but for Azula- it was like it never touched.
The more she hit and kicked, the more in awe you were in watching. If anything, it looked like a dance you'd see from how fluent and confident Azula moved to attack.
As quick as she began, the training ended. Azula walked towards you, and she didn't even break a sweat- even her hair was kept in place even though she was hitting and kicking. Standing infront of you she crossed her arms almost smirking. "Well?" She spoke with an eyebrow raised
"You were perfect! How did you even do that?"
"I'm a natural. No trouble at all" Azula spoke smugly- she wasn't gonna tell you how long it took for her to get the attack right when she was younger. Everything needs to be perfect. Azula hummed, interrupting your praise for a moment. "..We added more flowers to the garden. I'll show you" she spoke almost oddly. The praise you gave her felt weird- but it filled her ego. Of course it was perfect.
This was Azula
Nothing less than perfect no matter what.
She turned to leave to redress ignoring your call.
"We'll go once I come back"
-
The garden wasn't totally different from how it was since the last time you saw it. The tree in the middle has grown much older but still hanging strong - a knew bench was placed near it, giving the tree and pond underneath. The sun hitting perfectly in-between the leafs and from the rocks below made it have almost a glow to it.
Looking around, the bushes nearby were cut in the specific square way the Fire Lord himself seemed to prefer rather than the rounded ones. Stopping once you heard quaking noises. A smile came over your face, walking to the center pond. You knelt down, looking at the turtle ducks
"Here. You can feed them if you'd like" Azula spoke, holding a small bag of bread out. Thanking her you took it and started to break them up. Azula watched her eyes softening at the sight.
Azula couldn't put her finger on what was wrong with her. Was it her nerves? Why does this scene in front of her make her feel off? The way you're kneeling in front of the turtle ducks the way you gently fed them. The way the lowering sub hits your face. Blinking, she scowled, looking away from you. Looking out to the pond on the other side
"Do you want to feed one, Azula?" Not getting a response, you looked over, frowning at what you saw.
Azula looked almost troubled by something. "Azula?" Calling out to her gave no help. It was like she was here but not here at the moment. Calling out to her again in a softer tone to not startle her- she blinked at you slowly before registering where she was. Standing up, you watched her closely
"Azula. Are you ok?"
Azula just nodded slowly. A moment passes before she bits her tongue. A question on the tip of her tongue. She doesn't want to ask. But she has to. She needs to if she really wants to not be like her father. Not in this way at least
"Are we still friends?" Azula asked before she could stop. "Like I know this is an arrangement but. Are we?"
You didn't responded right away. Just stood there thinking. The way she looked at you- you couldn't tell what she was thinking. It was like looking at a new person. Slowly nodding your head "yes we are." You bit your lip in thought "can we have a do over? From how things ended-" it was a selfish thing to ask. To pretend you didn't just disappear from her life.
Azula nodded her head
"Then.. we can start over?" You said, looking away from Azula for a moment - turning back to look at her - her gaze was on the pond in front of you both.
"Don't see why not. We're not getting married for a couple of months, so we have time"
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