#maybe that’s why my head hurts so much

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

[crimeronan]

youtube shorts is recommending me anti-trans accounts doing street interviews in portland like "omg omg ongggg kitkat look look look we made algyrythm so good. look look ❗️❗️❗️ you live here, yes?? 🥳 we know where you live?? 👉👈 you like local content?? 🥺 you like portland?? 👉👈 you want see portland???? 🥺🥺🥺 HERE PORTLAND POSTER!!! 😄" like. damn dude i actually feel kinda bad that you tried so hard. like you actually did pick up maybe one-half of a topic i like to watch videos about. it's like when a little kid tries to pick flowers for their mom and gives her an allergic reaction instead. i'm sitting here like wow. is this really what portland videos are?? is it seriously all just viral conservative clickbait and longform videos about fake meme polycules???

.....should i have a fucking youtube account where i post about being in an actual portland polycule????

#i'm not gonna do that because i don't wanna be perceived. but surely there is better portland content #the anti trans videos are of course people here going 'lmfao dude fuck off snd stop recording me i love trans people' #posted with the OP like look how violent and unreasonable the delulu faggots are 😒 #and 600 comments of people going YEAH!! DELULU FAGGOT!! #and i'm like. i think maybe i need to start a youtube channel. #the urge has never been so strong. #this is why flares suck btw. i cant do anything except scroll sites n tumblr's dead n my head hurts too much to read on reddit #so i've been going down the youtube shorts rabbit hole long enough for.... this.

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

oughh......

#laya plays dragon age #da2 #oc: liam hawke #this happened a bit ago already & i wanted to draw sth for it but idk if i will finish that #but i gotta yell abt them anyway because OGH. #i have a lot of emotions about this quest ok #bartrand was the perfect scapegoat he was perfect to direct all the rage and pain at all these years #years of imagining gleeful revenge while bartrand is gloating and laughing like an evil soulless bastard #and then you meet him and he is just. a pathetic husk of a man with barely any own will left #and whats worse. varric is so so torn up about it #varric. the guy who never makes anything about him and who will always handwave and joke when something hits too close to home #drops all efforts to be smart and is just. desperate. begs hawke to not kill his brother #and liam wants to want bartrand dead so bad. he wishes he could look him in the eye and enjoy taking his life #and he knows varric will listen to him if he insisted. he knows when it comes down it it varric will yield to his decision #but he sees this broken guy who is barely the villain he kept projecting onto him and he sees varric and he sees two doomed siblings #and knows what its like to lose your sibling to your own blade #and he cant do it #and he hates it so much. but he wont do it. #and its the reason why i cant decide who dealt the killing blow for bethany bc it makes this scene juicy in different ways #if varric kills bethy its equally wanting to spare each other their siblings blood on their hands #as it is taking some form of revenge (on liams part). we both killed each others siblings. now we are even #the revenge part would still be there if liam did the blow on bethany himself. you made me do that and now i will take bartrand for it #but its also much more i know what its like. i wont make go through that too #if varric killed bethy and then also bartrand it would be more #''its my fault she is dead. i will take the revenge she/you deserves if you tell me to even though it will hurt me #dunno. all good variations i will. have to rotate them in my head more #or maybe just never decide idk they can be in canon limbo forever #anyways thats it for shouting into the void about them for now it Will happen again

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought. #i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper #thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times #like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks. #nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she #was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled #a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where #you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder? #but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what #then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student. #everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have #and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my #leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but #i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying #my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound #by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting #better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that #and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path. #one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do #what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it. #maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for. #unrelated

[soldier-poet-king]

I love my Nonna dearly but I also just got my first real "here's how you should find a man" advice so truly 2023 IS my Charlotte Lucas year

To be fair, I'll give them credit, this is one of the first times my family has pulled this shit on me. I suppose my "I'm too busy focusing on school" excuse that I used through all 8 years of undergrad and grad school doesn't really work now that I've been working full-time for a year. And she also didn't bring it up in front of everyone or out of the blue, it came up because we had been discussing how insane my motherhas been about babies lately and my Nonna said "oh it's BC she's waiting for grandkids"

And like??? Just because my mother got married and had kids by my age (which may have been the right decision for her, this isn't judging even if I think her life went to shit bc of it) doesn't mean it's the right decision for ME

In fact, it is the ABSOLUTE WRONG decision for me. Theres a whole long list of reasons why I'm not getting married + or having children, including but not limited to: the trauma of my parents marriage and my childhood, my own ongoing health stuff, the whole religious queer anxiety guilt complex I've got going, the fact that if I were to get pregnant the resulting mental health crisis and dysphoria would undoubtedly make me *** y'know not soemthing that is frequently a source of nightmares for me or anything, my inability to take care of myself let alone CHILDREN, and the anxiety of raising children religious when I don't even know wtf is going on with me, CHILDREN??? IN THIS ECONOMY????

Ofc I can't exactly say any of this to my Nonna who, while incredibly sweet and loving and Good, is also like. Not at all exposed to these concepts and would probably freak out if I was like hello yes I am a big fat queer and I rlly hate the concept of gender and societal ideas of womanhood :) it also doesn't help that rlly the only single, middle aged woman my Nonna knows is this lady who works at the church who is DEFINITELY a badly closeted lesbian but also she's super fuckin mean and condescending and no one likes her BC she's a bitch, on top of the whole being a badly closeted lesbian in a conservative heteronormative religious environment

Like even IF I were to get licitly Catholic married to a man. You wanna find one for me??? My Nonna was like "go to church more to find a man" HELLO??? WHERE??I GO TO MASS EVERY WEEK?? Every religious man I know irl is a radtrad women can't wear pants type or is a manchild. Even if I COULD find a normal man, he'd have to get real cool about some stuff real quick. In that forever dilemma of too leftist queer for the religious and too religious for the leftist queers. (Obvs your partner doesn't have to be your duplicate but I'm like. Generally being on the same page. The same BALLPARK. is probably conducive to having a healthy relationship, y'know?)

Besides a significant part of my having 0 social life is because I am living in my parents basement which is in a shitty not-a-suburb of mostly immigrant families with youngish kids or super old folks from when the neighborhood was built, so it's poor and run down but also super fuckin far from anything To Do, so it's the WORST of both worlds of urban sprawl. And I have no car. And I already spend 2.5 hrs a day commuting for work. And I'm chronically tired. And joining a fencing club or taking art class or whatever costs MONEY y'know the thing I'm trying to SAVE by living in this hell place???? She literally said in the same convo "live here as long as possible to save money" like??? YOU CANT HAVE UR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO as long as I'm living here I'm NOT going out and meeting ppl BC there is literally Nowhere To Go. Big box stores like Walmart? Yet another strip mall? The highway??? THIS IS SOULLESS HELL of neither nature NOR accessible city amenities

And anyway, I would rather be in a long term marriage for tax benefits relationship anyway. Not platonic, not romantic, but a secret third thing (jk but also serious). Like. Mutual devotion that blurs the lines and transcends labels. It could be completely chaste. It could not be. It's not a dealbreaker really. It's about trust and devotion and companionship and love. But also I'm insane and I KNOW how insane and obsessive I sound, and society prioritizes nuclear family relationships and not the weird ass shit I crave, and I feel too much too fast and would ruin any relationship I had even if I WERE to somehow find someone who prioritizes those things too

So like. It's fine. Most days (not all ofc, but I'm trying) I'm okay with this and being on my own and learning to cultivate my own peace and Goodness and I know who I am and what I believe and what I trust to be Good and I'm working toward that and I'm not sacrificing it for anything. But also. Can you give a bitch a break. Please. I'm so fkin tired

#franposting #my bday isnt even til JUNE #im going to bitch anyway #im genuinely really upset but part of that is bc my headache has come back #and its worse than ever #i might cry but my head already hurts too much #i got really good news at work and only the men in my family made a big deal #the women were just. meh. and ofc none of them have careers so why should ot be important to me? #as the only granddaughter ofc :)))) #i am going. to crawl into bed. hair washed. lavender candle on. #do a lil meal planning. and then read or maybe just sleep. #tmrws goals after church are gym and grocery shopping before dnd #have to make my body hurt so much i cant think again #ofc bro 1 has claimed the car. so maybe i cant go #god. gos. i fuckin need to get out of here #but i literally cannot afford even studio apt rent in the city #and moving to one of the boroughs doesnt gwt me any closer to anything esp without a car #literally. just like. fuckin kill me #or find me a decently paid not soul killing job in a smaller city or even a town #where i could have a garden #or a porch swing. sit in. the sunlight

[vitiateoriginator]

I faked being sick to go home early from work yesterday (mental health was not letting me act nerotypical enough to function for retail), and today I think I actually am sick 😳

#yesterday I pretended to have a bad stomach ache #and while today I feel slightly nauseous its more my throat and my head that hurt #but its like. a sickness type of hurt yknow? #careful what you wish for I guess #I did just wake up a short while ago tho #so maybe I'll feel better as the day goes on #hopefully haha #although I wouldn't be surprised if this was an actual sickness #the other day a manager forced herself to come to work while sick #and she came close to me several times (idfk why) #so there is something going around between my coworkers #Im not gonna worry about it too much until Im certain I am ill #sam's rants about life

[asjjohnson]

I've finished the bottle of pain killers I bought in November. haha, I guess I hadn't needed to worry about their short expiration date. (I already bought more, by the way)

I thought it would've helped a bit more for this morning's headache. (if I didn't think it would also increase the risk of side effects I would drink some coffee to increase the dose.)

If I'm not careful, one of these days during a headache I'll tell a doctor to go ahead and crack my head open.

...When not having a headache, I want to avoid that.

(but I'll probably be fine soonish. Just whining a bit. Despite the headaches having been getting more mild over these months, I seem to be getting more sensitive. I guess I'm just tired of it.)

(...pondering risking the internal bleeding and other bad side effects of a coffee boost. ...But then again the taste/smell of coffee might make me throw up. :/ )

#the brain scan I'd insisted on showed a tiny little bump. too small yet to push against anything. I shouldn't be able to feel it. #It's probably a red herring but that's what sawing my head open would be for if I were to impulsively do it. #...of course; if I did; I would have headaches for possibly months after from the surgery itself. ...maybe worse ones. #...and I don't want part of my head shaved. It's even where I part my hair. It takes at least seven years to grow back! #there's also the likely ridges and scars; and infections. And chance of damaging part of the brain. #I wanna leave it be unless it becomes daaangerous. don't consider it. it's probably not even related to the headaches. #...coffee boost? ...I'm probably just feeling pressurey now instead of pain-pain though. Medicine doesn't help with that. :/ #...I'm probably imagining it into hurting more by focusing on it so much. #...or maybe lying in bed is why. I should probably not be horizontal. ...but I also don't wanna get up. getting up might hurt too. I don't #aah it's getting boring I guess I'll get up. ...very slowly.

[seraphlin]

Thought abt taking a break from 🍏 bc the fandom is exhausting me to the core that whenever I see him in fanart, I feel tense and uncomfortable more than anything

But the moment I thought abt sitting him down to tell him I needed some space, having a panicked expression as his reaction and suddenly asking me questions in the calmest way that he can on what was I wrong, something in me breaks and I just. Can't

#I just. can't #I can't do that to him. I can never do that to him. not when it's things have gotten this far #I could never drop him but I feel like something in me dies a little whenver I see him these days /slightly neg #it sucks. it hurts. and it probably hurts him just as much to see me hurting #that hurts too #I know he's fictional but listen to me- I use these characters to cope with a lot of stuff #unrelated but I've always been immersed in my own fantasy world as a child and that has been the only actual place I've felt safe in #it's the reason Caelum (my imaginary world) exists. it's why Jayce still exists #it's why I treat these characters like they're real because in my head they technically are #maybe I sound crazy but I'll be honest now that some parts of the world has failed younger me in more ways than one #and these characters make up for those failures #that got off track real quick so back to the main topic already #🍏.... I feel like my feelings rn are just going dormant rn #I know I still love him. but sometimes things get so complicated #fortunately for him really- my feelings are rlly strong enough to keep him on the list #my sentiments on him are so deep that it's gonna take everything to get me to drop him #you're gonna have to pry him from my cold dead hands. #unlike a certain red hoodied gun loving someone else that I used to f/o #but anyway. that's all #the clouds cry too (vent)

[keptthepieces]

just another diary entry obvs

#i still feel so sad #yk i mean i take things very deeply very personally im sure some people remember may '21 lol #but this is just very hard for me because im so confused #why would you let resentment build towards someone about something they dont even know theyre doing to bother you #to the point that youre hurting the other person and they dont even know why for the longest time #it hurts a lot it wasnt even addressed at all until i brought it up bcs i couldn't stand not knowing and yet feeling so hurt and confused #i needed to know it wasn't in my head and i was right #but now im second guessing everything they talked to me so normally said they care about me all the way up until the day before #but ive felt the distance for a while so do they love me like they said or was that not true #if they dont then im such an idiot i really care about them i really respect them and love them #idk im really hurting very badly #really stupid for a 25 yr old to feel so hurt because they annoyed someone #but i just wish it was addressed sooner and for someone who prides themselves on being open and honest and direct.. #it feels like they maybe just didnt care enough to talk to me about it. #so yk maybe they dont care about me. #which also feels like an offensive conclusion to come to about them when they dont lie and value honesty and openness so much #i dont want to think they dont love me bcs i do think i know them pretty well i do think theyd never lie about that #but maybe ive only convinced myself of that because it would hurt far worse if they didnt #whatever anyways im so stupid and i know i must have fucked things up by being too much again. #ill leave them alone and the hurt will ease up eventually #their friendship has meant a lot to me theyve done a lot for me i dont want to lose it completely i really dont #i just dont regulate well how much i care for my friends and its too much sometimes its one of the worst things about me #but i genuinely want my friends to know theyre loved and thought of and cared about and i mean it #and i cant always tell when i hit overbearing so i fuck things up. #anyways i am sorry i made someone i care about feel overwhelmed and i regret that i made them uncomfortable for i dont even know how long #im hurt but thats the worst thing i couldve done #okay ill shut up now stop talking about it its just still fresh to me obviously cant talk abt it on twt and they dont follow me here #i needed to vent without my irl friends 'fuck them' attitude bcs theyre a good person and friend and it does feel like its only my fault #for the most part anyways minus yk the communication bit #but we'll circle back to the do they even count us friends doubts and we dont need that ill move on now needed to get it off my chest

[boygirlctommy]

i made 2 new ocs and i love them but one of them is going to die and im upset about it

#my post #local man attempts to write a tragedy for the first time. wish him luck #its about a person whos disconnected from others and just. generally apathetic. survives and keeps to themself and thats about it #and then they meet another person. and they choose to let themself get attached. and its wonderful and exciting and fulfilling in a way thi #person hasnt felt in years. but like i said.. the other person is going to die. #and the person blocks it off turns it off pushes it down at first. but that just leaves a sinking feeling in the persons stomach every time #they look at the other. so they choose to feel it. they choose to feel the grief and the love at least until its time for them to part #and when they do. the person only considers pushing it down again. i mean its reflex at this point. but they let themself feel it and they #let themself cry and they let themself breakdown #and like. even though it hurts it hurts so much.. its better than not feeling it. and just the years of all of it of all the not feeling #comes out. and they head back home alone again #but this time. they think they might get themself a pet. and maybe theyll even talk to people when they go into town #the end #augh #i have no idea why my brain decided i was gonna make this. i dont know where the hell this came from #just went 'oo i want an oc whos learning how to care for others again' and oops! dead people!

[lightspren]

pros of starting my steroid pack: the dark cloud of despair that’s seemed to cling to me for two weeks has somewhat lifted. my hands aren’t throbbing. my knee feels less likely to give out when i put weight on it.

cons: can’t fuckin settle down to sleep

#kit talks #buzz buzz buzz brain buzzing heartrate BUZZING #had to use my albuterol inhaler too so that’s uh. prob not helping #but the prednisone is making me really overheat too which also doesn’t help w sleep even aside from head buzzing #it’s fiiiine it’s fine. it’s fine. i hope. #at least i’m not hurting. and at least i feel less like my soul is being suffocated in misery #dunno why they’ve helped my mood so much but maybe it was just the pain and the fatigue i guess 🤷🏻‍♀️ #alphabet soup of chronic illnesses

[silenthillbunni]

🏫🍃🌥️

#oooof... sleep was rough bc my face was super itchy. all of a sudden i got rashes in my face yesterday ?!?!? i have NEVER gotten that wtffff #hopefully it's just temporary nd will go away. it's still a tiny bit itchy but not as bad as yesterday :o #istg my life is a JOKE!!!! a joke!!!! rashes?!? what? maybe stress nd anxiety?? idk it's wild tho i cant deal w this #so i couldnt really fall asleep but i rested for a few hours #then i got up. took my dog out. had oatmeal. called the surgeron clinic. #and like... i told them abt my weight and they said im underweight?! and that my bmi is 18.9 and u need to have 19.... #i told her that i cant gain weight bc i cant eat anything. that i cant have more fat than i already do bc then it hurts too much #she said she'll talk to the anesthesia doctors and call me later. she hasnt called yet #i rlly hope they understand the situation?? and that i can still have my surgery bc what else am i supposed to do??? #ughhhh why cant anything ever just be easy and smooth for me?? #i am sooooo tired of all these hardships piling on top of eo #then i walked to school.. took me an hour and im spent now bc im so weak nd malnutrioned skskskks #and im in class... it's a long one. still more than an hour left :'( my head hurts #ugh i just wanna be fine for once in my life #but yeah im like 75% thru all the hard things i need to do today #just need to finish class nd then walk home nd then hopefully get a call back and then i can relax (as much as i can lol) #i hope the itching goes down (still wtf is my body doing? i have no patience for it anymore) nd i hope im not too underweight for surgery om

[worm-wood-words]

Too tired to write but also can't stop The Scenes™ from playing out in my mind.

#bits about Arvel's healing magic and also the man in the bar healing Kahn's broken bones #i mean it's not perfect and it's painful for both the man and Kahn for different reasons but it does work in the end #also just sort of trying to flesh out the healing magic in my head. for most people who have it (mostly loethan) it's close #range or on touch. depending on the person it might hurt or drain the caster too and they might have to be able to see #the specific injury or at least where it is (such as when the man in the bar has to cut into Kahn's leg and arm to see his bones) #it almost never works on nerve damage. never on organs except maybe internal bleeding or injuries so severe the organs are #exposed. (basically just trying to say it won't heal organ failure). so it's pretty much best for broken bones and cuts. works better the #more recent the injury was. technically has the ability to regrow limbs but that's most likely never shown. (torn between whether #or not veren gets his arm regrown or a prosthetic. probably prosthetic since he lost it years ago) #doesn't work on illnesses or poisoning or stuff like that. that's still the domain of alchemists. also since on the areas it shuts #does. I'm not retyping that. on the areas it does heal its just rapid cell regrowth which most of the time is fine. but then there's #Arvel. who can do it both on touch and at range and uses the whole rapid cell growth thing as a method of torture. add the whole #light minions thing and the fact that his abilities include a rapid healing factor on himself (and that unlike a lot of people #his abilities work rapidly on others and he can easily get over any drain it has on him) #and yeah it's understandable why Len loses the first fight and why a lot of people don't stand up to him much. even his wife who doesn't #have powers at all ends up progressively more afraid of him. like the only way to possibly wound him in a meaningful way is to get the #drop on him and find some way to inflict severe damage on a vital spot and keep whatever you used to do that inside of him long enough #for him to eventually not be able to heal around it anymore. i don't know just thinking about how he's such a twisting of typically 'good #guy' powers. like his main things are light and healing he should be the hero or like high up supporting cast but nope he's just #trying to subjugate everyone and rule the whole damn continent because of a might makes right ethos and the fact that he does #certainly have might on his side #maggot original

[risingsunresistance]

anyone have anything about the resistance they wanna share in my inbox

#i know the answer is no but AUGH #im having Thoughts but i cant get them into words and it's aggravating me each time i try to type it lol #im sooooooooo normal about the new lore that dante had no choice in this war #he never believed that. he never believed anything. he did what he was told #maybe he did believe that stuff to some degree but he was never told there was another option #the resistance probably did surprise him. why would anyone dare oppose shen? oppose ME? #do you think he could have been a better person if he had been saved from all that before the resistance #or do you think he was just as messed up in the rift #i like to think there was hope for him in some reality out there #jhksdgnsdglsdl..... i need to beam my thoughts directly into someone's head #ark get over here im having a moment we need to be in a 7 hour discord call #chat #sorry (not sorry) for the sudden activity after not posting much the past few days #im pretty much immobile today so i have nothing else to do #and i cant sit at my desk so no games either. hurts too much :/ #i already said all that but im saying it again bc if i stop typing i will explode