#maybe that's even why i got the cold

[cheriboms]

doctober day 23: nostalgia

fact: doc has a saxophone in his garage in both 1955 and 1985, with seemingly no ties to his scientific pursuits. hypothesis: theres some sentimental reason, maybe he played (plays?) it as a hobby since and/or prior to 1955...? conclusion: they def had at least one jam session

[[ proof of my claims >:0 ]]

#back to the future #bttf #marty mcfly #einstein brown #doc brown #emmett brown #doctober #doctober 2023 #christopher lloyd #michael j fox #my arts #my sketchy wip arts #i had like half a ficlet typed up for this instead of a drawing but then i realized itd be very out of place for my content so far #so i had to start over. hence lateness even tho this is very simple overall >_<; #maybe if i ever do a proper fic ill just put that scene in lol. i kinda dont want it to go to waste ehh :P #anyway i know they bonded about an interest in music. pry it from my cold dead heads #tbf doc has a jukebox and obvs the amp in 85 which could be more evidence but also u could argue those were put in specifically for marty #HOWEVER there is no debate abt the sax. WHY would 55 doc have (and keep??) that for 30 years unless he had some sort of attachment to it !! #ive connected the dots !!! (you havent connected sht) IVE CONNECTED THEM !!!!! #i personally think he got it in his pre jules verne era. ie before he got into science and was just kinda figuring out what he wanted to do #bby doc like 'uh idk music??' n his mom like 'ok sweetie which one do u want' and obvs he has to pick the quirkiest one in the store. king #so hence why i categorize this under the 'nostalgia' prompt. its like a childhood hobby that he revisits thanks to his musical teenager <3 #but thats all just my theory so uhh yeah ;w; #also every time i listen to 'back in time' this image manifests in my head. it literally has guitar and sax so like. its them. TO ME #also also i hate drawing instruments BYEEE. like youd think after being in 2 other music heavy fandoms id know how but. u would be wrong

[icewindandboringhorror]

a quite simple outfit, trying to use the little blue and white apron thing (which is actually a dress I think, that I just leave un-buttoned in the back and added an apron-like tie to lol)

#self #mori kei #jfashion #NOT really but like.. it's.. adjacent I guess.. forgive me .. I may try using tags again though I kind of got out of the habit ghhj #I need to be... Seen to some degree. I want to start selling clothes and sculptures again to recoup the costs of having to euthanize my cat #and stuff . but that won't be very successful if I have like.. 15 people to sell to lol... #the eternal Hermit Conflict where you hate attention and Being Percieved in general yet in todays capitalist society it is nearly #a necessity to have some form of social network or media presence especially in creative fields. etc. etc. ... kicking screaming wailing #sobbing so on and so forth.. tearfully punching the cold mossy stone walls of my evil wizard tower... #I was also thinking of maybe opening a few sculpture commission slots and maybe Tumblr Blazing that post or something #but.. again.... sobbing crying interacting with the general public oughhf ouuch -500 HP #why can't I just be approached by some wealthy 65 year old woman who is nonsensically infatuated with my art for no #reason and gives me like $10.000 a week for food and art supplies and etc. and I can go fuck off into a cabin in the middle of nowhere #in the uk and just be left alone to work on my projects without even needing to build any form of connections or social presence because I' #already set for life and can just get funding and connections whenever lol.. WHICH not to be ungrateful like obviously I still appreciate #anyone who follows and interacts with my posts. I dont mean it in a 'grrr fuck all of you imbeciles I wish I could delete my blog!!!' or #whatever hhjkjk.. I just mean it more in a like.. I am very socially inept and my mental illness gives me severe social issues so any situ #tion where I'm expected to self promote or network or interact with others generally is nightmarish and stressful for many many reasons #and if I could somehow skip that part and just go straight to being a famous author or somethin.. that would be cool. Which I know EVERYONE #hates networking and stuff but I mean like.. on a level most people could not possibly comprehend.. I am not just an 'introvert'. I am like #doctors declare me incapable of functioning in general society very poor mental health prognosis probably should have a caretaker at #some point type Hermit lol.. ANYWAY ghbhj... alas.. I also feel weird about the sculptures in terms of what to charge for them #and always have which is part of why I stopped selling them. If I charged a fair even like $15 an hour many of them would be like #close to $150+. and nobody is going to pay that for a decoration. that doesn't even factor in like.. supplies or time spent communicating/s #etching the concept (if a commission) etc. etc. I thought it'd be better to just auction them then and let people pay what they want inst #d of a set price but etsy doesnt allow auctions and is it weird to just.. link people to an Art Ebay or something lol.. #AAAANYWAY.. the outfit.. I still love these shoes. they're nice and a little Older Style looking. always into pastel florals too lol #(everything is thrifted as usual. excited about the shirt because it's so puffy! it was in the halloween section though ghjhj.. like when i #s october and they make the special aisle in goodwill for 'Costume' clothes even though theyre all just normal stuff I would wear ghg)

[fearandhatred]

i always have to have something wrong with me at all times and there are always about fifteen different factors that could have caused that Something Wrong With Me so i can never fix it

#fearandhatred #for a long while i got sick really easily and i would wake up with colds that would last the whole day (and only a day) #and i could not figure out why #like did i not drink enough water? exercise? did i sleep late? period? etc. #and for the longest time i didn't know what it was until i discovered MOLD IN MY ROOM #and even then my dad kept guilt tripping me saying it was because i never drink enough water #even though i do. and even though my symptoms became itchy throat and ears on top of my colds #and then my mom made me move to my brother's room and all my problems cleared immediately lol. after months or maybe years #see what happens when you listen to your child #wait i went on a tangent but basically now my jaw hurts. like one side is tight #and idk if it's because i'm stressed or i grind my teeth in my sleep or i have a tooth decay or because i keep not wearing my retainers #anyway i always have to have something wrong with me which is funny because if i'm not sick then some part of my mouth hurts #or i accidentally injure myself #or one part of my body aches for no reason #or i'm on my period #genuinely cannot catch a break from this SHIT like bro i'm too young for this #anyway. peace and love

[neverendingford]

skyglow:

(alternative title: photo dump of a midnight desert run)

#photography #Ford's Art #color says shit #it was either go on a twelve mile run or re-download grindr and get absolutely blasted so I went with the more responsible option. #b because damn I'm feeling it tonight. or at least I was before the run. I need to shower and then I'll cook dinner and go to bed satiated. #I did also jerk off under the bridge and then piss on someone's flowers on the way home. gotta get those animal instincts out somehow right? #anyway I've successfully vented most of my manic energy and a cold shower will finish it off and then we're good. #the mood meds have been helping a lot. last time I got hit with this kind of a mood I came out of it with huge bite marks and chlamydia. #and I haven't been feeling it nearly as bad this time so that's nice. more like a restless dog and less like a caged wolf thirsty for blood. #yes I'm making references to Call of the Wild again deal with it. #anyway sorry to anyone who sees this from the tags and not because you follow me. you didn't sign up for this lmao. #also. this is why I can't be a binary trans woman. this night photography shit is the most gay-man thing ever and I enjoy it. #I was doing it before my last boyfriend but he got me even more into it. #anyway bye I'm gonna go shower and then eat food. I've been hungrier more recently. #between the meds and the hrt my appetite is bigger and I'm gaining weight with the hrt fat redistribution which is cool and good. #I want to be a healthy weight and maybe even a lil chonky? we'll see we'll see.

[bangcakes]

.

#down so incredibly bad. he has eye crinkles when he smiles.... nah its the end #trying not to think about it but JDJJDJDJD the way he was waiting for me in his car and like so smiley when he came out. o im gonna !!!!!!! #GOD. im so obsessed. like hes just some guy yes. but also ???? idc NDNDNXNXNNXMXM #its gonna take years tho i can feel it NDJDNXNXNDNND #hhhhh but maybe less time than i think...? idk im so...... i got so shy. couldnt even look at him at points like JDJNXNDNXNZN #im probably sending like... the Most mixed messages but WHAT CAN I DO XJXJJZZMZZ #i get mixed messages from him too. god. it took us forever to be friends bc of this JDJDJXJDKZMZM #getting to More.... lmao good lord #personal #also god why did i have to see that post about consideration being like. a way u know someoje cares. like JDJJDNDN #him being like o i was gonna honk at you but i thought itd scare you. so he waved a bunch instead Ndndnnd #then when ppl kept hounding me about why inwasnt taking my jacket off (felt embarassed bc i looked cute JDJDJDJJDNDN plus it was COLD) n #saying like oh isnt it hot. and inwas like huh really. and he was like... well i wouldnt say its hot. you can feel like the air coming down. #um.... ya maybe these are small but HDJDJDJDNDNNDNDND hes so cute....... like he could have honked at me n scared me or joined in on #everyone sayin stuff to me but BDBNDNDNDND cute....

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]

---

"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.

Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.

I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #pericky #ricky owens #professor pericles #anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die #i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did #the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲 #which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late #ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world #(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore') #(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all') #and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao) #and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong #his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE. #pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together #'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood' #that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more #and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all #ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally #....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him #he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control #there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore #it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much #(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth) #(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind) #whosebaby makes things #whosebaby writes #SDMItag #dyn: when i die i want you to die too

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#love that when ur stressed and having a bad time it makes ur menstrual pain worse so you feel even more awful #like. yes. id love to get things done but unfortunately i need to go home immediately at 2pm bc i feel physically ill. vibes wretched. #im considering sleep here at 6pm but 2 b fair i think i only slept 4hrs last night. woof. tomorrow is gonna b interesting #i think the allergic reacting is abt over now tho. like im not really itchy anymore. the rash is still visible but i think its just dry now #bc of the cold. so was i ever reacting to the tatto0? or was it all the medication? im so interesting in what happened #would i not have had a reaction if i hadn't got a bunch of holes poked in my skin? or was it just a coincidence #that the rash started on that arm? ugh. so frustrating. and i think the psychiatrist forgot to actually book my appointment from when we #last talked so idk. maybe if i watch t4skmaster over and over it will heal my soul #ay. its all very frustrating. and i still dont have fucking autoclave access. fuck off. just give me the fucking key code #i just wanna pour plates 🫗 lol that actually looks a lot like pouring solid media. i dont wanna have to steal someone else's card to open #the door. who even locks up an autoclave??? they didnt at my old school and u could wheel a body into that thing. im pretty sure it was #bigger than this one. also there's another unlocked on on campus. why?! i ask ppl and fucking no one knows. that's just how it is #ugh. i should go to sleep. my tummy hurt #unrelated

[miamierre]

.

#i want to write that km prompt that just went up today :/ i cant but i want to #also was thinking abt married pierre n charles and how they spend their first night together. #like obviously they have sex! obviously. they just became a family of their own and theyre both insane abt Family Life #but like. maybe they think that. bc this has been their whole lives. they can pretend like nothing has changed bc really nothing has #all that's changed is that there's now a legal document saying theyre married. everything else feels like it was before. so like. #they try for quiet! and normal. they call it a night after one round. except charles cant sleep even if he's been tired all weekend #and he just. cant stop thinking about that one little change. how pierre is his forever now. how he is pierre's just the same. #pierre is out cold and charles just stares at his sleeping form half the night so full of love for this man here beside him. #eventually pierre wakes up to go pee and charles is half awake (finally sleepy after HOURS) when he comes back to bed #''why are you still awake...husband'' pierre whispers and charles just laughs #covers his face. answers ''i dont know...husband'' just to make pierre laugh. but then gets all soft and serious and confesses #that he's just. thinking about their love. yk? something tender and sentimental. pierre kisses him softly in his sleepy honesty #and they fuck (''make love!!!!'' charles protests later in the morning) again and it's just about the belonging of it all. just to be close #just bc they can and this was always how it was meant 2 b! matching rings for real. a life shared. a love so long-winded it will never end. #wow i watch one (1) scene from a show and go off. i think ive got some pent up insanity to release.

[orcelito]

Ok triple vaccine is kicking my ass. Now. I am.now grateful that I scheduled it with a day off after

#speculation nation #negative/ #i will be real this is genuinely one of the worst pains of my life #but to.make matters worse. my period started :/ so im dealing with first day cramps of Those #i got only 4 hours of sleep bc despite taking a melatonin i just Could Not Fall Asleep #my feet and legs were so very cold that even 45 minutes under a hot pad still hadnt warmed them #it took hours before i felt like i could remove it. idk how long exactly id finally fallen asleep #but june wouldnt stop crying until eventually she came up to bed #and poor sweet girl did her normal thing of climbing on me. which is usually fine. #but she stepped on my arm and. hhhhhholy shit lmfao That had to be one of the worst pains of my life. #like a 7 or maybe even an 8. right now doijg nothing id say its a 5 #i need to take ibuprofen but i need to get some food in me first #which. oh yeah. i got out of bed to try to eat a bit so i could take some ibuprofen. ended up lightheaded as fuck #had to sit down several times. until at one point i got hit with a spell so bad i was Convinced i was gonna throw up #sat beside the toilet with a cold sweat as i waited for the nausea to subside. #i was gonna have corn dogs for a small meal. they r in the microwave even. but rn i am.just gingerly sipping on an Ensure #with a plastic bag beside me lol. just in case. bc i dont fuck with nausea risks man i am.not puking on my floor. #eurgh why did my.body decide to make things worse for me.... this Sucks #emetophobia/

[citrine-elephant]

what if zane just had implants in his brain to make him think faster (on account of how fast he can move and process the battlefield)

but it was just that meme of "i'm stupid, FASTER"

#borderlands #why did i only think of this like... 3 years later #legit consideration tho... part of my brain still wants to imagine him as a very smart hyper-genius dude #but in lore he's not genius levels #maybe out of impatience #but could we consider he's actually got some literacy problems #im in no way shaming btw! #it's just interesting to think since he was born on pandora #maybe just consider he has a lot of issues writing and sometimes with reading #like he did better than someone like captain but he still struggles #the idea moxxi/marcus had about presenting someone else to fool your enemies #and under/overestimate you #like how apparently he refuses to take baths #just presents himself as this cold and clean genius badass #but he's got adhd and he's stinky and has some learning difficulties #again no shame in it i try to be aware of that with myself + not shaming intelligence #please let me know if i'm saying the wrong things #the post wasn't even about intelligence but i gotta tag-ramble lol #*technically wasn't. memes but was thinking more of processing faster like a computer

[stinkrascal]

its 67 degrees outside and im so fucking freezing i literally cant feel my fingers. i cant believe my dumbass wants to move to the north how will i ever survive in a place where it snows. i think i’ll just die

#in my defense i just wanna move to a state where weed is legal #and most of those states are north-ish #imagine going to the weed store then buying weed. thats so crazy #its decriminalized where im from and theres medical weed but it isnt the same ALSO ITS SO EXPENSIVE #idk if its cheaper now but when my fil got his med card one ounce was 600 fucking dollars WHAT #you can get an ounce for like 150 bucks easy #even the more expensive dealers arent gonna charge u more than like 300 maybe BUT 600 FUCKING DOLLARS??? GIRL WHAT #there are some states where you can order weed online and then it gets delivered to your doorstep?? LIKE??? HUH #why wasnt i born in a legal state. i want my weed addiction back so badly #being sober is so fucking BORING. dies #anyways my fingers are still cold just so you know

[evilkitten3]

me, making a dragon ball oc: and she's an asshole

#dbz #personal #the litter box #fr tho why are all my dbz ocs such jerks XD #brukwe is probably the least dickish and that's mostly bc she doesn't have a whole lot of. anything #she's a minor character in a different oc's backstory lmao #but she still has time to be a classist jackass (although that's mostly just. referenced. and it doesn't stop her from sleeping w/ selipa) #touga is probably one of the meanest characters i've ever come up with #she's not even an antagonist she's just a stone cold see you next tuesday #escallion isn't too bad she's just got a lot going on #but her Jackass Button is very easy to press bc he happens to be a main character lmao #i don't have any male ocs yet. or any non-saiyan ocs #maybe i should but. eh

[dutybcrne]

Love the fact that Diluc and Kaeya were described to be “like twins” bc I get thinkings of them eerily having like. Smth of twin esp, and it just confusing the HECK outta Crepus endlessly bc only ONE of his boys is his biological son, and yet without a doubt, they were just so attuned to each other, that no matter where they happened to be, o matter how much older they got, they’d IMMEDIATELY beeline for each other if there ever was a shift in mood

#//Nah fr; these two rotate in my brain like in centrifuge #☆ ┆ ( .ooc. ); #//Anywho this was born out of me thinking about nobody every knowing when Kae got dysphoric bc he’d rather DIE than voice it #//And then I thought; no. Luc would know. he would know but prolly know not what to fucken DO about it #//Maybe sends smth via Noelle or one of his birds; smth small but meaningful to distract him #//Maybe demanding he go and clear out hilichurls near the Winery; bc the knights Clear Need The Head’s Up Or They’d Have Missed That Spot #//Cluld Diluc do it himself; yes. but like this; now Addie can get to see Kae and take care of him; whatever’s going on #//Kae could never resist popping by for a quick hello to his favorite maid; after all #//Prolly why Kae was so restless while Luc was off in Snezhnaya. waking up endlessly; vision or not; bc SMTH happened leagues away #//And the worry suddenly GRIPPED him; and refused to let go until Diluc wherever he was got to safety. only THEN would Kae relax #//Even if only marginally; bc now he’s going to be anxious about what that was for the rest of the day #//Even with the divide the years and Kae’s confession of his heritage put btw them; I’d like to think it still lingers #//They just can’t read each other as well anymore bc they think they’ve wholly changed. And in some aspects; they really have #//Or is it that Luc can’t believe Kae really is still the same kid he knew under the mask; & Kae can’t believe Luc does still care #//Anywho; love the idea of one getting into a depressive slump & the other getting in a cold sweat like ‘I gotta draft a letter-‘ #//Bc that’s one of the only ways they can communicate without getting snippy; ig #//I like to think Kae thinks it as Celestia’s big joke on him #//How else could such a bond still linger after what he did to destroy the new of it? Now he’s alwaysgot to be reminded of the broken pieces #//A fitting punishment for a sinner whose greatest fear is to be alone #//The strongest; most trusting jond he’d ever had; now left to tatters in his hands that he can’t begin to fix so easily

[runefactorynonsense]

Spooktober - Day 29 - Blood

You need to go for the kill, because they will kill you.

#Spooktober #In which Margot combines all the different scar ideas she's given Lynette in the past 2 years #Rune Factory #RF1 #RF #Rune Factory Lynette #RF Lynette #Margot's RF Art #in all seriousness I always liked the -slash on the jaw- idea but I've got another piece where I added two smaller places on the right sid #and the eyepatch getting knocked off rn just. felt dramatic and so I did it #No way Lynette sits up on a horse and lets others fight for her. She's going to find that enemy commander herself #Also I've been thinking- why do so few RF characters have scars? #My theory is that if someone's EXPOSED to healing magic quickly AND they survive- the wound will heal- no matter what #but if help is delayed or someone's exhausted or doesn't know healing magic... THAT is when wounds risk healing slower #or scarring even if a magic user is found #and maybe some are a pride thing / some people think the problem too small for magic. Just get a bandage #Also someone save me from the remnants of this head cold I lost so much time today waiting for dayquil to kick innnn #when I thought I didn't need it anymore #Also this amuses me. Spooktober is going to end the same way Farmtober did #Lynette. RF2. OTP #It's a good day when I get my favorites in a row like that #This blood is VERY minor [anime cosmetic] but I'll still add a tag just to be safe #blood tw blood

[naturenaruto]

#sakura #naruto #polls #ultiamtely i have alot of complex feelis abt her #i feel she got shafted w no progress which if you take out the 'she was written to be that way' concept then #as an actual character/person she seems very typical in the sense that shes relatable for always wanting to improve but like.. #its all words no action and i havent even finished shippuden yet but so far its like #shes so relatable because of her frustration over being stagnant and not good enough #but bc shes also fairly unlikeable like ppl dont have sympathy for her and its like Well Obviusly you wouldnt but #i just think its so common that like if she was more guy-likeable like hinata shed have more stans #and if she was more girl-likeable like ino shed have more stans #but also both of them legitmatly work to improve and i feel like sakura (so far) hasnt been given the Big Win shes looking for #id love to have seen her go down a darker path wheres shes alone and works on herself rather than being constantly framed around sasuke and #naruto bc i think thats where she fails herself #bc conparing to them is never going to positive for her bc theres just no way she cold get the overpowered mc trait and fame like naruto #and the hereditary and singular clout of sasuke #trying to compete w that is a no win for her and i think thats why she never gets anywhere #they shouldve pushed her far down an individual path of like maybe..secret medical jutsus and ancient healingg powers or soemthing #like shes the kind thst needs somethinf Special to feel good about herself so being an average ninja was never going to do it for her #i think thats why she went for the dreamfantasy of The Uchiha Wife™️ bc in the end she couldnt meet their standards so she had to get as #close as she could which was inly ever gonna be marriage #instead she shouldve focused on a specified skill that wouldve brought her notoriety which i think is the source of why she likes sasuke so #much like its not just him being the fantasy or badboy or ideal or we its his notoriety and fame and family name etc #shes after clout essentially bc her family isnt clan and despite being good in school its not impressive bc any of them were good enough in #school so what she always lacked was something unique to set her apart #and i think being in a team w two of the most overpowered unique ninja wasnt doing her any favours #she was always going to pale in comparison so she needs a specific thing to give her fame #also i think her bond w ino stands apart from her fixation w sasuke bc its the reality of actual bonding: #friendship and knowing someone udnerstanding them relating liking them etc #vs just likig sasuke bc hes Sasuke Uchiha™️ and hes cute

[snekdood]

Yknow what makes me reaentful? How ive been sexually abused so much growing up, no one did shit besides shove me off to a therapist, ive been promised by feminist spaces that ill have a place to heal within them, and as soon as my abusive ex tries to smear me and project their behavior on to me by accusing me of doing that shit too, all the sudden everyone acts suspicious, and i still dont get any of that promised healing. Its hard not to feel like my ex did this intentionally to prevent me from having a space to heal. And its my issue with the "believe victims" narrative because it seems to me like people dont actually want to believe victims but to believe the victims they *like* and *agree more with politically*. If people can just say whatever about someone and you feel obligated to believe them because "believe victims", its very clearly going to be exploited by abusive people, and while i dont think we should stop per se, we need to have some sort of actual system to vet who is and isnt telling the truth, like a pseudo-courtroom. At the very least let everyone and their side of the story actually be heard. Bc idk how you guys plan to believe two victims at once who are accusing eachother other than throwing your hands up and picking one or deciding that we're both bad, which doesnt seem very fair to me since people seem to looove demonizing me for no discernable reason.

#anyways ive lost faith in feminist spaces in actually being a place to heal #it kinda just feels like cliques to me dawg. #maybe it used to be sorta healing but i never actually got to find a support system or anything anywhere. #like idk man. maybe the reason ppl go to the right is bc yall are cutthroat and do everything based on vibes. #if i cant even get help and healing from yall like you promise whats the feminism label even for besides for spreading awareness? #because i feel like ill always be excluded because i dont fit the recquired aesthetic. #there needs to be a space for dudes to go to heal too. and id ideally not have to go to one of the mra type spaces. #idk but im just disenchanted with this whole movement. so many unfulfilled promises. #too many terfs infiltrating it also. #im left out in the cold and no one cares and everyone pretends to care about victims but cant even bring themselves to image that i #was the one who was victimized. why should i rely on these spaces at all. its clear yall favor the more fem person in any situation #like this. #also unrelated but related this website is trash and most people on here suck so fucking much. #the mostly cliquey cutthroat spaces for being so 'caring' like you like to think yourselves as. #'oh well we have to be careful so just in case we're gonna kick you out!!' oh really #is that the feminism you were talking about? #youll leave me out on the streets based on a rumor? and if you find out theyre lying then what will you do? are you gonna come over to me #weeping about how you shouldnt have believed them and how sorry you are? bc chances are ill already be dead from starving #but yknow. believe whatever anyone says about someone else. sorry i meant victims* #itd be so so funny to me if someone came up to me with that justification for why they ostracized me and then be like 'how can you be mad! #i didnt know better!! you cant be mad at people for not knowing better >:(' the hell i fucking cant lmao! #yall perpetuated a narrative about me to actively grind my name in the dirt. and im not allowed to be mad? #yall ostracized and excluded me from spaces i need to rely on for community and healing. #yall did nothing for me and threw me in the fucking trash. yeah. i think im allowed to be upset with you and want you to go fuck yourself. #if you believed them and found out theyre a liar. cool. leave me the fuck alone though. go make a post about it and try to rectify the #situation you contributed to you pos. #yknow. maybe itd be one thing if you believed them and i didnt do anything and you apologized. #its a WHOLE OTHER FUCKING THING. WHEN YOU BELIEVE THEM. IM INNOCENT. AND *IM*THE ONE WHO WAS #SEXUALLY ABUSED AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED TO THE FUCKING MOON AND BACK. and then think an apology is enough. #like go fuck yourself. ive been alone with this trauma this whole time you pieces of shits.