#maybe use the brains a little more

[puppyeared]

doodles of my fav sillies

anton belongs to @poicyss

#my brain is a barbie dreamhouse and theyre all just living in it #im especially fond of the second one because my mom used to hold me like that all the time <3 #im drawing them a lot lately because im being crushed by the horrors and have to compensate for it somehow #homemade comfort blorbos...... #watch me draw anton inconsistently bc i can never decide if i wanna draw him close to how he actually looks #or yassify him and give him soft fluffy hair and kind eyes and defined features. head in my hands #i dont really have a lot of drawing ideas for them bc they dont have like. a canon storyline or anything methinks #its just stuff me and bow toss around and giggle abt thru messages lol. maybe ill draw infant vincent one of these days #i just come up with stuff and draw them doing it. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside #cuz like anton works for lobocorp as an abnormality BUT hes super duper chill and cute and does his funny little tasks so its fine #AND hes unkillable. auggie is an oc ive had since like 6th grade and i smushed them together. and vincent was for fun but i got attached #i dont have much of a read on anton either bc i think hes meant to be more of an insert character??? if im using that right #on one hand i dont think too hard abt anything being ooc since im not taking it seriously. on the other hand i just hold them in my hands #and stare into space until i can come up with something to draw since i dont have much to go off of. but its fun to build on small tidbits! #i think bow called it an au so i guess??? its an au????? im not really sure. bow if youre reading this im just willy nilly #the only thing i know for sure is that they boink like rabbits. im talking gomez and morticia levels of boinking #maybe ill go back and look at my old doodles for them and redraw em lol #myart #my art #my oc #oc #friend oc #augusta #anton #vincent #sillies family #doodles

[the-sunshine-dims]

everytime i think more about fable i am just, heartbroken

fable knew where isla was the whole time, never had that question in his mind because he was the one who cast her into the end without her mind, he stayed in the house for years with her sons pretending he'd done nothing

he knew exactly where isla was, it was never something he just happened to stumble across, and so he knew either he'd kill enderian, or hed be killed, though the former was probably always more likely especially to his ego'd mind,

it was never even for isla

when he did leave icarus and rae, he wasnt going to find isla, it was never for isla, not really, if he did even try to convince himself otherways, he left two kids, one who he called his own, who grew dependent on him,

his hatred of enderian has always been so much stronger then his love for icarus, either of the siblings, but icarus he lies about

his hate will always be stronger then his care and icarus just keeps searching for it, now able to 'problem-solve' because hey, if enough of those fable hates die, become a null problem, maybe they'll prove they deserve that scarce love, earn it

#fables hate for enderian will always surpass his love for his son and that breaks me #becuase the time fable left and didnt return was never for anything but his own twisted retribution for an act he'd been living with #for years in her place #or maybe an outright attempt at killing enderian- not for the indiscretion but just becuase that had always been on his list of goals #isla was used as bait if i remember right #but why take the bait if you already created it? #fable smp #fin speaks #late night :['s #the morningstar family- and associated sadly the gilded empire leave me devasted as i put together more and more in my little brain

[jade-len]

luo binghe better than me fr i think i would've gone fucking apeshit if the person i loved with my entire soul pretty much said "fuck you" because of my race and pushed me down into literal hell for me to suffer for years

i've said it before and i'll say it again, i really don't think we give binghe enough credit. that man was on concerning levels of forgiving all the way from the start

#this would all be without xin mo eating at my brain btw #were the things he did wrong? of course. can you blame him? absolutely not. #like lets not act like at least half of us wouldnt go insane #i would be devastated #just.. place urself in his shoes ok #like he was able to still change for the better despite all the shit he went through #able to realize his wrongdoings and make up for them #thats fucking amazing and we should not discredit him ok #my ass would probably do the same thing as him tbh. or have a whole mental breakdown. or both #also same goes for bingge i wouldve done the same shit too probably. id fuck shen jiu up #again #not excusing his actions but i feel like people seem to focus on that part of him way too much when we literally see his character growth #and yeah hes still just a little unhinged but arent we all #hell some people are WAY more fucked up than binghe and they didnt even go through #i love him so much can you tell #so anyways yes if he were real i would date him hes so relatable #because then id now that he would actually change for the better and make things up and learn from his mistakes #yeah haha yes hes a red flag whatever all jokes and fun but are we just gonna ignore his development??? #im not a binghe apologist. maybe. #svsss #mxtx svsss #luo binghe #luo bingmei

[jenna-louise-jamie]

thinking about yassen gregorovich instead of sleeping (because i love him) and how he is a catalyst. yassen stabbs ash -> ash kills john rider -> ian rider raises alex -> yassen kills ian rider -> mi6 blackmails alex into becoming a teenage spy.

i have so many thoughts that i can't properly articulate. obviously this is a simplified chain of events, but yassen and his choices set off a chain reaction of the world's most unfortunate dominos. especially when you read russian roulette. to be clear im not necessarily trying to blame him for everything because that feels very mean. he was also just a 14 year old kid when everything in his life went wrong, just like alex. only difference being yassen literally had no one.

i think i should write an essay about this because i haven't even gotten into my thoughts about what yassen and alex's dynamic would look like past eagle strike. i would imagine it'd be similar to ellie and joel from the last of us part 2.

where obviously yassen loves alex and alex on some level cares for yassen back but struggles to reconcile that with the fact that yassen is responsible for his uncle's death. a very unforgivable act. it would be so messy and complicated and angsty, because on one hand here is an adult who truly cares about him and has a connection with him through his father. yassen could tell alex about john, and trust that yassen truly wants whats best for him. but he killed ian, and he cannot take that back.

while alex reels from those feelings, yassen is also trying to reconcile his love of alex with the knowledge that he on some level is responsible for the suffering alex endured at the hands of mi6. and possibly even the fact that alex's godfather is the one who killed john and helen.

#btw i think anthony horowitz killed yassen off so he wouldnt have to deal with this lmao #and sidenote ash is responsible for his own shitty choices but i think itd be difficult for yassen to cope with the fact that stabbing ash #led to some very bad consequences for literally everyone #are there any fics that are similar to what im describing?? ? #i read a ton of alex rider fics but i mostly read fluff because im actually too emotionally fragile to handle angst #i cried while reading stormbreaker and that book wasnt even supposed to be sad #if this is doesnt make any sense its because i woke up at 2 am and wrote this #its just word vomit; pure not proofread thoughts directly from my fucked up little brain #idk maybe someone will enjoy reading this #alex rider #yassen gregorovich #alex rider books #ian rider #john rider #chaotic ramblings #and final note i do not ship yalex #i was thinking of this more in terms of yassen having a weird guardian/parental relationship with alex #if it wasnt clear from my ellie and joel reference from the last of us #anyways im gonna go back to making shitposts and memes so i never have to feel anything again thank you goodnight <3

[miraluking-respectfully]

felix being referred to more or less exclusively as "your soldier" in-game speaks to how little the writers put into his character beyond his noggin full of sith secrets & his relationship with the consular; still, i do find it kind of sweet and funny, in a way. he's not a republic soldier, not even your personal bodyguard; he's your soldier. the consular is a small nation-state in and of herself

#accurate. #felix iresso #swtor #jedi consular #open tags for My Rant: #going back through rishi and doing the cute little holocron quest got me brooding - as i often do - on my best boy felix #that the writers could not think to give him anything in KOTXX that wasn't Torture Angst is deeply shitty but a little understandable. #all the other consular comps kind of have a way forward that isn't consular-related when the consular goes away #nadia has the jedi. zenith has balmorra. tharan has his old illustrious career. qyzen has little baby clan and also his religious directive #meanwhile felix isn't involved with your order or a supergenius or a politician or even someone with a lifelong goal #he was a guy doing his best at a dead-end job that turned into a far more enjoyable but still lowkey dead-end job #i would argue they could (should) have sent him to ossus but i can see them balking because Doc was already there #that's a little narratively redundant especially bc Doc has an extremely useful set of non-martial skills you would want to center #when telling a story about survival and persistence against the odds like with ossus #(also he was in the group of companions second-closest in proximity to the emperor in base game) #HOWEVER. #because i am immensely sexy and cool and have a huge brain i think i've cracked it #the way to give felix a compelling story post-consular is to put him the fuck in charge. #no longer your soldier or anyone's. his own. maybe even in charge of a large group of people in need of someone to follow #considering he used to be really good at that #a group like...idk...maybe the rest of the people incarcerated on his prison colony? #much to think about.

[thehealingsystem]

Seeing some debate on if in game henry being an ink version of him makes the time loops less evil and imo it makes it even MORE evil. He was given false memories of a life he never lived, been put through hell and back ever since creation and has no hope of any other purpose in the world. He was literally MADE to suffer. And he isn't even the henry that had left joey, just some replica he made to take his anger out on with no regards to that person's wellbeing

Just because he's made of ink doesn't mean he's any less alive. He still feels things, still has thoughts and opinions, still conscious, he is a living being. No, just because he isn't the real guy doesn't make it less cruel. Its just as, or even more so, a disgusting and evil thing to do to him

#I was half hoping henry would get to run into joey and just start beating him up #ghost joey must be avoiding him like the PLAGUE #what's funny is when joey finally realized that maybe what he was doing was a little fucked up he didn't personally help henry #he sent allison instead which is questionable by itself #but #he knew the guy probs didn't want any help from HIM #using ur brain for once joey #I honestly wanted to see more anger from henrys end about all of it #was he implied to be aware he isn't real? like not JUST made of ink but that he was ALWAYS ink? #not human turned ink #and what's also so fucking sad is that as soon as he escaped from the time loop he was held prisoner for years after #can we please give this guy a hug? also some food I know he doesn't need to eat but going years without food doesn't sound nice #please I need this man to be happy for once in his life #bringing back the stop henry abuse slogan #henry stein #batdr #bendy and the dark revival #bendy and the ink machine #batim #joey drew

[egoarc4de]

ant mill wip #1536 so i can talk in the tags

#without context this is just some guy I KNOW but i promise it's scout. maybe not THE scout but A scout. #my scout. not an oc scout but the scout from my little story #one of many scouts i guess #i am not sure if this will ever see the light of day because it's so removed from being like. canon/fanon recognisable #BUT. but. i am actually trying to do perspective #i wish i could transfer my brain into a 100k novel so u could understand the context but. #just know i am thinking powerthoughts. if you could see it u would think it was so cool #smoking out the bay windows... top floor of a three decker... the only sibling at the new place... BLARGHHH #sorry #youll have to excuse me #ok . #might uhhhh might. #if this disappears it's bc i got lucid #ant mill is the weird placeholder name i am using to refer to this au! the more you know #need to digitise some of the engies in my planner.... hes my favourite hoohooheehee #i have the opposite of same face syndrome bc i have no concept of consistency. #also depends what tools im using! painting is very different from lineart #NOTE TO SELF : face dip cheekbone forward

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

NOT TO BE DRAMATIC BUT FIRST 1K OF SUNLESS GROUND WRITTEN!!! a little bit:

She and Darren have been at the cabin for eight months. It belongs to a college friend of his—an arcing property flanked by evergreens and nothing more. She could lie to herself. Say she’s gotten used to waking every morning at yolky dawn in the bedroom she occupies alone. She’s gotten used to the scalding silence at midnight and gotten used to lighting the candlestick on the nightstand even in the middle of the day. The same instant peach oatmeal Darren keeps buying every time he treks out to the city because she said she liked it once. She can’t bring herself to tell him she can’t handle the flavour anymore, the way she’s gotten used to it and the way she’s gotten used to her hair getting longer, nearly touching her shoulders, the way she’s gotten used to her waxen face in the bathroom's uncovered mirror. She could lie. But nothing changes the truth even when she stays up all night, rocking back and forth, hoping something will. She made it out—no more running, no more hiding. It’s a good thing, and yet the prospect is so lonely, so frightening, that she sometimes considers walking into the woods until she makes it out the other side a woman who did not survive alone.

#REEVE POV!!!!!!! #holyyyy i thought I forgot to write with her and then it all came back #I love how beautiful and literary reeve's pov is just wait till we get to harrison's he's gonna be making sex jokes #ALSO I WROTE VIRTUALLY ALL OF THIS TONIGHT LMAOOO #i realize that i can just work on this concurrently with my other stuff because the writing is so dumb that i can handle that #tho actually i don't mean THIS writing is dumb this prose is fantastic LOL #that's more relevant for harrison's pov but in general the SV/SG brain is so different that it's not a hassle to write this and #multiple other things #also weird that this book is sunless ground because i've been used to seeing my sideblog username for like a year as that LOL #BUT I LOVE THE TITLE!! #also yolky is stolen from my changing states description <3 #i'm considering doing a 10k day for SG just to get the plot rolling a little bit LOL just like I did with SV! #maybe not that high but maybe at least 5k?? we'll see! #I AM NOT ABLE BODIED ANYMORE LIKE WHEN I DID THAT THE LAST TIME SOOO LOLLLL #sunless ground

[torgawl]

can we talk about sukuna and rika and why the king and queen of curses having a dispute is also narratively fitting? if sukuna is an heian era sorcerer with an antipathy and disregard of human emotions and the weak's will to live, blind to love and unable to comprehend the value of relationships with others then rika, as his counterpart, works especially well. rika is just a kid, or was just a kid. an innocent young girl who ended up dying tragically and saw herself transform into a vengeful spirit after being cursed by love. not only does she represent the weak (remember when sukuna's slaughter of women and children was implied?), she represents love itself. with her feelings lingering after death, she clinged onto her existence with the sole wish of protecting yuuta. it counteracts so well with sukuna's selfish will to kill time before his final breathe, which he admitted to be his will and motivation.

before i move on to my next idea, which let me preface by saying that it might be a little out there and dives into theory territory, i'm going to contextualise it with some information on the symbolism of "king and queen" that might help understand why this thought may make - at least some - sense.

in alchemy the king usually appears in conjunction with the queen, representing the sun-and-moon duality. in accordance with the theory of sulfur and mercury, which together, after alchemist purification, form the philosopher’s stone (also called the elixir of life, associated with rejuvenation and immortality), usually represented by the crowned hermetic androgyne (the union of the complementary male and female, achieving perfection or completion in the human state). according to jung, the king and queen also signify the spiritual conjunction that takes place when the process of individuation is complete, with the harmonious union of the unconscious and consciousness. jungian psychology has subjected the alchemistic tradition to extensive analysis and views the king less as an image of paternal authority and more as an archetype of higher insight and wisdom.

with that in mind, i think it's easy to understand where i'm headed but i want to add something else. remember jjk 0? geto's plan at the time was to obtain rika so he could use her power and move forward with his plan to annihilate all no-sorcerers. he believed her to be the key to achieve his goal and was willing to risk his own life for it. furthermore, the story is highly based on buddhist concepts and one of the core aspects of jujutsu kaisen is the cycles of suffering the characters are subjected to. in buddhism the goal is to become free of the samsara (continuous cycle of life, death and rebirth), eliminate suffering and achieve nirvana (enlightment). this ties withe the name of the series as kaisen is comprised of the kanji 'kai', meaning cycle, and 'sen', meaning battle, which combined with jujutsu (which means magic/sorcery but contains the word curse) describe the story as an endless battle of curses. and in a sense, the story also repeats itself, between generations and storyline-wise with the events circling back to how it all began. yuuta managed to land a fatal strike on geto once again, but now rika is pointed to be in a direct confrontation with sukuna as the queen of curses. now that i went through all the context needed to understand this, is it possible rika is once again in danger of being taken away? the idea of achieving a state of perfection with the unity between king and queen is quite intriguing. sukuna finally addressing yuuji as a worthy rival because of his unshakable resolve and unbreakable soul, is almost directly implying yuuji to be the one with whom sukuna has his last battle. an ultimate power-up (or the equivalent to), would be veyy cathartic before a final fight where yuuji would have the opportunity to finally go all out and have his well awaited and deserved protagonism (in my eyes, at least).

#so i guess my point is i'm not expecting sukuna to lose but i'm also not expecting yuuta to die (as of now at least) #i feel like it's not impossible that something happens to rika though #i kind of like that idea 😅 since that's not the original rika and yuuta is able to fight even without her #it's also quite funny that in the animal kingdom some females eat their counterparts and sukuna is said to be a cannibal #rika isn't human and i'm not theorising he will eat her but wouldn't it be ironic #and if jjk isn't a story full of irony idk what is #sorry for the random post #please don't trust what i say it was a random thought and i just thought it was fun to expand on it a little 😂 #i didn't even go through the chess symbolism we could also go through that route #the queen is the most powerful piece but the king is the most important. we could talk about checkmate. we could talk about the move where #the queen sacrifices itself for a more favorable tactical position which would also be interesting in the grand scheme of things #so yeah expecting interesting things from this fight not gonna lie #maybe this didn't make a lot of sense but you know what whatever i'm just having fun using my single brain cell rn bye 😂 #jujutsu kaisen #jjk leaks #sukuna #rika orimoto #okkotsu yuuta #jjk 💭

[nuclearspring]

i know there's a little bit of info on him currently included in my roster but ! i wanted to cobble together a more detailed rundown of my courier (the sixth one) + his verses. he is a bit of an unreliable narrator, so i'm leaving gaps in this - thing is he doesn't know what's up, so neither shall we.

(that said, if anyone has ncr muses who could maybe piece some things together, hit me up. he can't keep getting away with this).

rough bio under the cut. trigger warnings for death, violence, drug use, the military, addiction + memory issues.

name & aliases: sasha dubrovhsky / boris medvedev / courier six. tag skills: unarmed, survival, guns. (note: given his backstory, he's proficient in these, and in stealth). age: late twenties / early thirties during the events of fallout new vegas. moving into his late thirties if in the tv show era. sexuality: bisexual. you know, for the extra damage. alignment: chaotic something. personality types: estp. enneagram 8. physical appearance: 6'3", buzzcut, brown eyes, cheekbones, numerous tattoos. imagine a large russian man who has clearly broken his nose more than once. he is russian jewish & roma ft. general slavic aura. always clean shaven if he can help it, but stubble happens to him frequently. if in the verse in which he's courier six, he will have two scars on his forehead courtesy of benny. notable features: speaking to six, one may get the sense that english isn't his first language. he doesn't really have much of a russian accent, but his cadence (especially when he is particularly tired), as well as his word choices can sometimes give him away.

he is also autistic, and may have adhd. both are undiagnosed. the latter may have something to do with six's mentat habit.

his face is rarely shown - he tends to wear full combat armour, helmet included.

the man who eventually becomes courier six is born in ncr territory to a family who are descended from vault 13, if a tad distantly (nobody in the family can track the exact lineage, nor have they tried).

six is born alexander dubrovhsky. his branch of the family are loyal to the ncr in some ways, though their primary ideology is born not of the ncr, but of memories of their heritage. sasha receives more of an education than he feels he needs, but he is a curious soul and enjoys picking apart the way of things. devours books when he can get them. is in trouble more than once in his childhood for taking things apart to see what makes them tick.

he is not yet of age when he enlists. he's tall and broad enough to pass for it, and nobody in ncr recruitment looks too deeply into the issue. even before taking two bullets to the forehead, he is an improviser - there's no real plan tied to his enlistment. he makes it through basic easily enough - can remember that fine. can remember being passed up for first recon so as not to waste his hand to hand abilities - he is, in a word, large. can remember being filtered into the rangers instead. can remember later leaving his dog tags on a corpse about his size. tossing the tags that had originally been on the corpse in question into the colorado river.

the why of it is unclear. but he remembers the bloodless panic, and in hindsight is certain he had something to do with that death. can't say for certain whether or not this is unlike him, but the potential will keep him watching himself out of the corner of his eye, waiting for some similar slip up.

he knows he picked his new name out of the past. boris was the name of some relative, he thinks. perhaps a distant cousin, perhaps not. medvedev, on the other hand, is born of the bear tattoo adorning his ribs. (two-headed, stick and poke, slightly weathered, scar cutting through it).

recalls a time, too, when he burns his armour and weighs his options. he knows how to kill things, and is the sort of person with at least a chance at surviving the wasteland. so far so good, anyway. he passes a town with a mojave express office, and volunteers himself for a job. from that point on, he is a courier.

post gunshots to the head, he'll wonder if the memory issues are new. thinks they must be. things improve with time, but some things, he thinks, will never come back to him.

he remembers just enough to feel like helping the ncr is the most deranged thing he's ever done. he does it anyway. that said, six saunters vaguely in the direction of socialism whenever possible.

he identifies a chem habit, but can't be sure he had it before he was shot. can remember snippets of things he used to know, and understands that a great deal of the information is barred now. one hobby of his is gathering it again.

choices in game:

these will be updated in time (i'm going to play again to refresh my memory on him), but he can either pick the independent or ncr route depending. if we're writing post game, his default is independent, though that was a difficult decision for him and he still feels two ways about it. he isn't a blind ncr loyalist by any stretch, and is aware that there are some in the ncr who'd string him up if they knew he'd deserted, but he is not immune to propaganda.

alternate depictions:

i have written him before as an ncr ranger spy who is only moonlighting as a courier, never properly deserted (because the desertion catalyst wasn't there; he made it through the battle of hoover dam in 2077 just fine in this verse), and didn't end up shot in the head in goodsprings. in that verse, he can be recruited as a companion - for anyone who's into that.

this version of him isn't as fleshed out right now (read: i don't remember most of the development i did when i was writing him this way) but i'll update this later, and i'm happy to plot things out on a character by character basis. he is generally motivated to fight the legion, and will in time become somewhat disillusioned with the ncr.

#SIX. BIOGRAPHY. #SIX. ABOUT. #i used to write him in little groups with friends so his backstory kind of shifts all over the place but. here he is! #maybe subject to minor edits later but if there are larger retcons i'll make fresh posts detailing them once they're underway #death / #violence / #drug use / #military / #memory loss / #if there's anything i missed tagging lmk #his speech skill is like. mid. lmfao. #depends what drugs he's on if ygwim #me writing this like IS THIS CORRECT? #i've had him in my brain for so long and i feel like this bio. does not hit all the little headcanons and things. #but of course it doesn't. #and i'll certainly add more as time goes by #no but the joke i like to play on him is. #i think he maybe was a ranger for a little bit (considering he lied about his age when joining the ncr and got there #a little younger than he should have) #but he's walking around like. thinking he's just impersonating a ranger at times. which he IS. but he also maybe sort of isn't. MAYBE. #it's mildly unclear.

[sunflowerpieivan]

I didn’t planed to continue this theme (besides maybe one or two things with Russia for tiktok and maybe little sketch of Feliciano) but I got few ideas I found interesting to try so I gave up and now we have this

①Additional variation of hairstyle. More like just a joke reference to my very very very very old drawings on this theme and some crossover art(s)

② I just thought while drawing that he starts looks like sea bunny slug (it has no sense here, I am sorry)

#hetalia #aph #hws #hetalia england #aph england #hws england #hetalia crossover #hetaloid #I am not sure about hetaloid tag #One more little guy to dance to my six and a half hours playlist of vocaloids mostly while I am at work #not like they weren’t dancing all day long in my head before #but now they like as vocaloids? As if there was a project diva but with hetalia? ''X) #anyway just them dancing in my head and making me happy while I need minimum of my brain at work #Now I also want maybe see few songs with them like this or just this costumes used somewhere #just little thoughts and wishes

[puppyeared]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing #i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though #at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself #as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed #escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date #although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL #ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting #workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety #i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back #AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO #im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts #i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem #in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material #and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school #maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess #only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard #hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms #i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work #not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall #anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh #yapping

[miodiodavinci]

about the packaged au, i've never really seen their full designs other than Kyo and smol Kyo [guitar was it?] where are they?? can i see them??

A H you can find most of the stuff related to it by heading here, but if you're interested in the designs Specifically here's the original post where i shared those for the gang w

#mio answers things #anon #and then for like 5 years after i posted that i repeatedly swore i was going to go back and make updated design sheets #and never did <3333 #it's fine the packaged au is essentially just a relic of 2013 - 2015 kyo hell that i'm not really sure what i think of any more #not in a negative way more just like #it used to stir such INTENSE loving emotions in me and now it is like #the same level of emotion you get from looking at a plain manila folder #like 'ooh' and that's about it w #there is Something going on with my brain chemistry and KYO but i don't think it's related much to the packaged AU anymore w #(not at all influenced by how salvador's updated lore has changed my fundamental fabric of existence w) #(not at all w) #maybe one day i'll put together some new little au things w #for now i am just. dying because of school w.

[karinyosa]

okay the website of my local church w the pride flags out front actually really slaps they have like 5000000 choirs and a page on their specific beliefs that is pretty slay actually, unfortunately for the part of my brain that thinks choosing to do this is insane for me

#like to be honest it seems very tailored to the things i would like to get out of going to church if i were to actually follow through on #this #particularly their attitude toward doubt and sin #doubt is welcome and even an expression of faith? intriguing! #sin is a part of what makes us human? thats what i think! #i however relish in sin and this may make me incompatible with ANY church #perhaps their response would be that what i was taught was sin is not actually sin and we will see if that sticks to me or not #i dont really like the concept of sin regardless of whether god is forgiving about it or not but i guess that would lead me to the last tag #like if we can agree that certain things are bad then sure i guess theoretically i can get on board with the concept of sin #there are some reads of the bible that lean more leftist or queer that intrigue me but which i don't know much about #if anywhere's gonna be open to that it'd probably be this church #they've got a food pantry as well which is nice. like as a church you SHOULD be doing mutual aid i think but you know #i think i would always relish in being a little blasphemous though. thats the spice of life thats why im alive #im rereading this. who the fuck says relish #thank god for the industriously cautious part of my brain though because i'm doing so much fucking research before even daring to step foot #in there #on the sect and on the church itself #i think this would be very much a me reading the bible to shape it to my life and beliefs thing rather than the opposite #maybe the real reason i want to go to church is so i can dom god #karinyo.txt

[topaztimes]

Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that

#Giving time... #Still more time... #Wouldn't want to plague any previews #Maybe another filler. Just for some fun #Is this enough? #It certainly is now #Alright start: #I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight #'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state / #/of constant self-loathing #I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea #What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not / #/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed #I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore #I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done #I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though #I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I / #/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward #I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme #Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way #God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs #It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my / #/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days #Literally what am I doing this for #And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with / #/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life #Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me #Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus #I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore #It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until

[jazzzzzzhands]

ok ok So Theory time! I'm still very much on the "stay on script" Theory. Which is in short, if the characters start acting off-script, they tend to get hurt! Example: Eddie went out late at night and got himself quite hurt indeed! Good thing Wally was there to fix him up and give him a Watch so that his neighbor wouldn't forget the time! (Link leads to an older theory of my ramblings) ((also I think it will be funny to mention how he was left on the ground in the storybook audio, just for future reference)) And now the Frank picture has been made cannon!:

I think this explains why Frank is a bit cold to Eddie! Everyone knows that they are lovers, but they are not scripted to be.... I think a few nights in a box with chopped up parts of yourself, plus a copy of the script, is enough to make a statement!!! The statement being: "Behave and follow this, or else" So he definitely doesn't want to be caught being off script again For his sake, and mostly likely For Eddie as well. (I believe the red rectangle to be the script, wait for the GIF to stop)

And honestly these are things that were already swimming around in my brain, But now an Addition! It's Julie! There is quite a bit about Julie and scripts and how she does NOT like to stick to them! or rules! If it means having fun, then rules are to be broken! There is a whole audio about her not staying on script.

And where does that get her? Off a cliff! In this older picture, Julie can be seen on the edge of a cliff:

and in this audio, it makes mention of falling down, down,down (Thank you so much op for that audio) So now it seems like we have 3 neighbors who have been punished in some sort of way. Tho i'm not entirely sure if Julie was forced or manipulated into jumping. Actually make that 4: Barnaby... This is an older one, possibly one of the first! The art where our good friend Barn lost his head! (You all know the one) Now I had no connections of why in particular, but one of the audios from the update, leads me to believe he is a Liar of some sorts I Have a few other loose thoughts, but i think that there are MANY strings going on at the same time And I want to keep them Separated. So for this one, I will Pin it down as simply "Going off script" I have a few other thoughts and theories, But I will have separate posts for them This post in particular will serve as my observations of the neighbors getting "Punished" for "going off script" If i find any more, i'll prob reblog this with added details

#going off script #Theory #wh theory #welcome home #jazzisaspazz #long text post #i have to separate things or i WILL ramble off and jump from topic to topic. i actually caught myself and cut a lot off for another post #i got baddd ADD lmaoo #so a lot of wording can be a little hard for me to stay on track of! #but im trying to get the thoughts out of my brain in a way that makes sense! #sometimes im not very good at explaining! #i do be trying thooo #this is mostly for my own record keeping but maybe someone else can use it #hang on #i have more coming