I am going to talk about something I just realized. They say, for people with controlling parents, you just need to wait until you complete school and join college and move out. Your life will be yours.
That is a illusion. Well for me it is. Parents still got the strings that pull us to act however they want us to.
Since young I have been conditioned to believe that what parents say is absolutely correct and any other way will always land me in trouble. Then if I got into trouble, it will be the end of the world for me. If I don't follow what they say, the society will hate me and exclude me.
Even my parents themselves say that only until college they are restraining me, after that they won't care about what I am doing anymore. This included my interpersonal relationships with people and my social presence.
But now when I am actually going, I get this threatening lecture from them on how to be isolated and not stand out and don't do things which attract guys(it's really derogatory for me, I literally spent my whole school life without romantic involvement with anyone, not just because it was prohibited but because I don't actually had interest in them in that way) and those things included laughing and getting friendly with them (ugh) and same with girls too, don't make friends and don't get all empathetic with crying people and make friends with losers just like how you did in school (eye roll) (I really hate when my parents insults my friends).
Okay I get it where they come from, but things start bothering or become dangerous when they at extreme levels and I don't really think I have given them the impression that I am the type to get in trouble over these things. They automatically assume the worst about me just like anyone else(aka the famous annoying relatives and community people)do in their generation, I really needed from them not to do it.
Back on how freedom is an illusion, I get the ultimatum to have zero to minimum social life and fun throughout my whole 5 years of college.
You know I was actually planning to just study and not get distracted but I am the type to go with the flow. If I am able to balance well between my studies and other things which are healthy then why not. But with this ultimatum, if I actually enjoy doing other stuff, I will always feel guilty and in a constant fear of that something bad will happen to me because I am not following what my parents instructed me.
I am an adult and I know the limits and my mental health and my well being. But it always boils down to "When you ll come at our age you ll understand, you'll look back and realize you wasted your time."
You know it's actually good I realized that I ll still be controlled and now try to break free from the notation fixed in my mind.
That's why I asked...."how to rebel in the safest way??"
Medical school is all about balance. Remember the first time you tried to ride a bicycle. It must have been hard to maintain your balance and you might have fallen. But slowly and gradually you learned to maintain your balance and bicycled like a pro. Same is case with medical school. You fail, you learn; you fall, you rise. It's about maintaining balance between your studies, sleep extracurriculars, social life, family, mental health. You'll never be a pro. You will be riding smoothly but some pebble will throw you off balance. You'll find yourself struggling to keep the perfect equilibrium and juggling with the tasks. Let me assure you, you’ll learn to maintain your balance. At times you’ll find it the hard way but you will get to it.
Medical school is not for the faint hearted. It requires sheer amount of resilience, perseverance and dedication. You are under constant attack from stress, anxiety, panic. You struggle to keep up with the deadlines; maintaining your GPA. you have to steer through all this without getting hurt. At most times you'll be juggling to maintain this balance.
If you let your guard down, you'll be exposed to numerous intruders ready to ambush as stress, failure, disappointment.
Keep yourself first: Always keep yourself and your interest first. Your mental health must be your priority. If someone, something is bothering you, deal with it before it consumes you.
Learn to say NO: It's okay if you don't want to go out or you don't feel likely to hangout, go for movies etc. There's no need to feel bad for saying No and putting yourself first.
Set your priorities right: Know what you want. What you want to achieve from a particular course, from a study session. Have your goal in mind. And work towards it with everything you can. Studies should be your priority. Don't pursue extracurriculars at expense of your studies. Always remember why you started in the first place.
Exercise: Exercise, meditate, do yoga, go for run, play some sport, hit gym etc. whatever deems fit for you.
Self-care: look after yourself. Eat healthy. Don't just rely on processed food and takeaways. Add fruits to your diet and other nutritious food as per your preference. You'll be tempted to drink caffeine, fizzy beverages, energy drinks etc. but don't overindulge. Drink plenty of water to keep your system right. Also, have good skin care regime. Use sunscreen religiously. I'm not a beauty guru though.
Start early: Start early to match deadlines for test, quiz or assignment. By starting early, you'll save yourself from eleventh hour panic and anxiety.
Socialize: Don't be a bookworm. Socialize. Humans are social creatures. You may be an introvert but you still need some friends in life. Remember to call your family and friends.
Join school clubs/societies what ever your school provides: Every school, university has some societies as photography, debating, singing, acting etc. Join ones that suit you.
Pursue your hobbies: Do make time for hobbies, it may be 5-10 minutes per day.
Don't over consume your self: There I just negated what I just mentioned. But yes don't make it compulsory to be part of every activity you'll end up exhausting yourself and drain all your energies.
Remember medicine is a journey. Make this a pleasant one. Make memories. Don't be a book junkie but treat yourself with love and care.
"we are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations."
So, I'm done with my internals, and they were pretty okay.. But now, I've got to prep for my anatomy retake exam which is exactly a week away..
I'm done with most of the prep.. I just need to revise everything Atleast twice so that I'm thorough with the material, but I'm really not able to focus on going over the same thing again..?
Also, I realised that I forgot to get one of my notebooks from my hostel, which means that I don't have my notes for an entire unit and yes, it happens to be the biggest of all-head and neck..
So now I've got to just read from the textbook and go through my notes once I'm back, but I really miss them and feel like I need them...?
Also my roommate has been weird lately.. She doesn't text unless I do, and even then it's only one word replies or answers only to a few ques and I've got to repeat the rest.. I'm quite irked by it, but I'm more irked about the fact that it has gotten me irked in the first place 😤😤
My beloved Tumblr friends please gimme a hug 🥺🥺🥺 So this happened just now....my biochem prof called me three days ago(i was as surprised as you are) to ask how I have been studying and how I should actually listen in class and interact with teachers (which I straightaway denied ki I won't (with another biochem teacher not him), bold ik but some profs are really shitty)(i did not implied at all they are shitty i just hinted that I got social anxiety) it was a pleasant convo tbh with him being patient and understanding and all and he encouraged me to reach out and ask queries and so I did.... genuine ones....like we take screenshots of classes and for once I actually used it to study.
So at one page there was scan of handwritten equation flow chart type and it wasn't complete. I messaged him to ask if he has the complete equation of it because it was very different than book. He also gives one or two topics to write short notes about in the end of lecture so I was writing it.
So the topic was "regulation of heme synthesis", this isn't a very long topic in books but the slides he gave contained much material so I was writing from it. Now that equation was about the "formation of heme", not regulation and actually doesn't have to directly do anything with the topic. Writing it down is just for making the answer more long and extra for marks.
Basically the slides have two forms of same equation....one was very complex AND incomplete and one was overly simplified but the one in my book is kindof perfect. So I just bothered to ask, out of these three which one should I actually use in the answer.
And the reply I got was hard way and not even proper one. This shitty person, I don't know what he read and how he misunderstood to this level (like I even sent the ss to my two batchmates (also bestfriends) because it was a genuine question and they too would know if he answered me) he answered in class (and look at me being grateful THAT HE DIDN'T ADDRESS MY NAME) very badly like how the person who asked this is so dumb and doesn't listen in class and how the stuff in slides was important and if he deemed book stuff important he would have included it in slide and how I should have more common sense and shouldn't come to him to ask about things he taught in class
Like bitch YOU ARE DUMB I DIDN'T ASK THIS.
He just made sure I am never going to ask again to any profs(not anatomy ones they are good tho I still get scared) like the anxiety I had yesterday night just because of asking a damn question i can't (〒﹏〒)
Was it really a dumb question!? I didn't go to him to explain a topic and I wouldn't go either because apparently other kid asked "Assessment of diabetes mellitus in pregnant women" think he has taught this topic and like(THAT was dumb)....we can google it but he didn't bother much about it and didn't even answer, went on with next question aka mine and roasted me🥺