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xelasrecords · 1 year

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Cold Wrath

Han Jumin x Reader

This is undoubtedly the hardest fic I had to write due to personal reasons, but I had to. I wanted to explore how controlling tendencies can manifest in a relationship where two people experience control in polar opposite ways. What is security for one could be a threat to another. During Jumin and MC's early relationship period, I imagine this kind of problem would surface from time to time. The question is whether they could tackle the conflict together and come back stronger.

Words: 2.2k

Masterlist Read on AO3

Things were not fine. Jumin had crossed a line that he had set himself, a line that should have been there since the beginning. The early days of your relationship with him were as such: most of the time, he made you feel calm and protected. You could be true to yourself and he would not mock you for your interests and whims. He was loving, and he fought hard to keep his nightmares at bay. Nightmares that threatened to sink their anxious claws into his shoulders, hissing at him that he would lose you if he couldn't ensure your safety. Or worse, you would be in harm's way and it would be his fault.

It was a long, arduous battle to fight, and sometimes the nightmares won.

When they were unleashed, you were their first target. Jumin would keep a laser focus on you, fussing, controlling, moulding your life, making sure everything was to his standard. It was a momentary cure to calm him down, but for you, it was the very reason for your instability. You couldn't find your footing, not when he constantly pulled the ground from beneath your feet, layers and layers of new ground to adapt to, only to find yourself plummeting onto yet another land of jagged rocks. You kept stumbling, falling with nothing to hold on to.

This was not a daily occurrence, you knew, but it was often enough to stress you out, especially when you had your own life to balance. At his best, Jumin was mindful of your boundaries, not forcing his help when you adamantly refused it. At his worst, he could bulldoze over everything if he thought it was the right thing to do for you.

During this time, his definition of help clashed with yours, and you found it hard to appreciate it when you were forced to receive it, no questions asked, no discussions held. Help was only helpful when it was received with open arms by the other party. Who did Jumin think you were if he couldn't even speak to you about a simple matter? Who were you to him in this relationship? Were you important at all?

It was a no-brainer that with Jumin, the good greatly outweighed the bad. You did not have to remind yourself for it to be true. However, when he couldn't stave off the nightmares, they would also crawl up to your ears, insidious whispers warning you that one day, Jumin would put a leash too tight around your neck, cut off your breath and string you limp as he wrested your autonomy from you. You would be his marionette, forever at the mercy of his will while you had none.

But tonight, you were no wooden doll. With a job that continuously pushed you to work overtime, topped with an impossible workload and insufferable colleagues, you were a strained cord pulled taut, threatening to snap at any time. Unfortunately, the final tug came in the form of your fiancé. You heard from Jaehee that Jumin had turned down a magazine interview request, a joint interview with you as a newly public couple after your high-profile engagement at the RFA party without consulting you.

Anger was a roiling monster in your gut. He had to know that you were not okay with this. You had to talk to him. He needed to know how wrong it was.

The penthouse was completely dark, with only the sharp glimmer of the city outside as illumination. Jumin wasn't in the living room, so with a sense of urgency, you crossed to the bedroom where you knew he would be waiting. It was unusual that he came home earlier when he tended to work longer hours, but there he was, standing in the middle of the room, pausing mid-walk. The man clad in silk pyjamas looked an awful lot like a deer caught in the headlights. No, not a deer. A giraffe would suit him more, what with his lanky limbs and ridiculously tall build.

"What on earth are you doing there?" You stood in the doorway, arms crossed, feet planted firmly on the floor.

"I heard you came home, but I also detected hostility in the way you marched in here, so…" Jumin trailed off. Reluctance preceded his usual assertive speech and gait like he wasn't sure of his footing with you. If there was a time you had ever shaken him so, you couldn't recall it.

"Hostility." You laughed without humour. "I have the right to be angry when you took away my right to sit for an interview."

It took a few seconds before he saw where you were coming from, but when he did, a shadow passed over his face. "You don't mean you're upset because I declined your participation in the magazine coverage?"

"I have made myself clear, Jumin."

"It was just an interview, and your workload at your job has been astronomical the past few weeks. I didn't want to burden you by adding more things to do."

"That's for me to decide," you shot back. "It was for both of us, yet I have no say in this?"

"You were so busy that I couldn't find the right time to ask you," Jumin fired back just as quickly.

You walked up to him, stopping when he was a few steps away from you. "Don't make this about me. Tell me the full truth." Jumin did not have the habit of lying, but he did have the tendency to omit the truth when he thought it was better off unacknowledged, and you knew Jumin well enough to know when he was hiding something.

Jumin rubbed his temple with his fingers. "I suppose I'm afraid of the scrutiny you would receive from the public if you put yourself out there. What if I can't keep you safe when someone means you harm?"

"I don't know which is more appalling: the fact that you automatically assume I'm easily hated or that I will crumble beneath strangers' opinions." You tipped your chin up, challenging him to go on. You knew his fear had nothing to do with you and everything to do with his past coping mechanism, but it was insulting nevertheless.

He took one step closer, leaning forward. "You know that once you're out there, there's no going back. You'll forever be marked as a person deserving of judgement. Everything that you do will be tracked. Anything that you don't do will be criticised. That mark won't disappear, not when you're with someone like me."

"And you didn't realise this would be the consequence when you proposed to me at the party?"

"I did."

"But?" you pressed.

Jumin straightened his posture, hesitating to finish the sentence. "I failed to predict how I would feel if I see them putting you down."

You tore through your hair in frustration. "How about my feelings, Jumin?" you gritted out, trying to keep your tone level. Shouting would only escalate the situation, and you didn't want that. "Have you thought about them? Of how I'd feel if you leave me out of important discussions?"

"I didn't think you would be upset. I assumed you would feel more comfortable if I helped eradicate potential problems."

You scoffed. "Should I thank you for your generosity then?"

"That would be appreciated." He shrugged with such nonchalance that it riled you up even more.

"Can't you see what the problem is? You made assumptions about my feelings without taking me, the owner of those feelings, into consideration. Why didn't you ask me before assuming anything?" You glared at him, hoping it could sufficiently convey your rage.

"Because I thought you'd realise I did it for you." Jumin held your gaze, his eyes and words full of conviction that you couldn't agree to.

"It hurts, you know. I feel as if—" you had to stop to take a breather and looked away "—as if my opinion isn't as important as yours. I feel like I'm disrespected and robbed of my chance to weigh in on an important issue, especially one that concerns both of us."

It then dawned on Jumin, what the crux of the problem was. Instead of working together as a team like he had promised he would, he had left you out. It wasn't a surprise you were enraged. Rather, it surprised him that you were not throwing a tantrum or cursing at him. He might have been gripped by his nightmares when he decided to sequester you from the public, but it did not excuse the fact that he had hurt you.

He had hurt you, Jumin repeated the thought in his head in horror.

He stood there, looming over you, but never had he felt so small and ashamed of himself. "My love, I am terribly sorry." He took a step forward and halted, unsure if his presence was what you needed right this second. "I see now that what I did was wrong. The night before the party, I had assured you that whatever decision I make, I would discuss it with you first."

"Yes, you had."

"But I neglected to follow through with my promise." Jumin's voice was tinted with guilt. "I would feel hurt too if I were you."

You closed your eyes. Underneath the anger firing up your nerves, there was pain. Although you had stormed in here to confront Jumin, you had not processed your own hurt. Only after he verbally acknowledged your feelings did it hit you. You let the pain wash over you, feeling it course from your chest to the tips of your fingers and then let it go, your shoulders relaxing.

You didn't want to be angry anymore. The tight coil in your spine had loosened up.

Wordlessly, you made your way to the bed and perched on its edge, energy draining out of you. Jumin followed suit, maintaining his distance until you beckoned at him to come.

There was no need to tell him twice. Immediately, he found his place next to you, the silk of his pyjamas brushing against your dishevelled work attire. You observed his movement while folding one leg under you and twisting your body to face him.

Now that your fury had ceased, you could not help but wonder, "Why do you like to be in control so much?"

"I'd like to say that it's because I want to keep you safe for your own good, but that isn't a hundred per cent true. I think I want to protect you because if I could assure your safety, then my feelings would be safe too." Jumin looked down at his clasped hands. "I wouldn't have to face my rampant emotions, so instead of getting a hold of myself, I tried to control my external surroundings. Sometimes I get frightened by my feelings, so I turn away and focus on smaller, more manageable problems."

You studied the way his hair fell across his forehead, the tips of it almost touching his eyes. "You think your fears are unmanageable?"

"They feel like it sometimes, although to a lesser degree than before I met you," he admitted, shoulders slumped. "But despite liking control, I know all too well that the more you try to control something, the more it tries to escape. And when you see someone you love is desperate to run away, it makes you want to build a more secure cage, but it will only make them want to escape even more."

"That sounds like an exhausting, vicious cycle," you observed.

"One that I'm planning to break." He snapped his head at you, face stern with determination. "From now on, I will examine my actions before doing anything on impulse. I don't want to hurt you again. I can't."

You reached out to stroke his thigh. "Thank you for taking accountability. I appreciate you apologising to me."

"Do not thank me. It is only right that I right my wrongs. I want to apologise again for overlooking your feelings when attempting to soothe mine. I'm sorry." Jumin stopped your caress with a gentle grasp. "On that account, I can ring the magazine editor and set the arrangement if you still want to do the joint interview."

"I'll think about it."

He raised your hand to his lips, planting a light kiss on your palm. "You can take your time. They'll proceed with the schedule we provide."

You nodded and stared out the window. The city was always awake. Cars were bustling, indistinguishable from one another as they crawled through the streets below. The outside world did not seem so harsh now; perhaps people were going home too. In a city as lively as this, people were always going somewhere. Your head had been clouded with anger when you got back, but even then, you were looking forward to meeting your fiancé.

"Jumin, you know the interesting thing is?" you mused. "I think we're going to be okay."

Jumin followed your line of sight and uttered a soft but firm reply, "Yes, we will."

Buy me a glass of something that's definitely not coffee because I can't stand it but it is the website's name if my story touches you in some way? No worries if you don't. I'm still grateful you've read all the way through here.

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aroaessidhe · 5 months

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2023 reads / storygraph

The Poisons We Drink

YA urban fantasy

a girl who brews powerful potions is coerced into making potions to interfere with D.C.’s most influential politicians in an attempt to stop a dangerous Witcher Registration Act from passing, and will do anything to protect her sister after their mother is killed

bi MC, nonbinary love interest

arc from netgalley

#The Poisons We Drink #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this is…….a lot of cool ideas but also so many elements and high stakes that i kinda lost track of them #the pacing is weird. the worldbuilding is random?#why is brewing SO overpowered & risky for her but the other powers seem to have pretty normal low-scale risks?#it’s definitely ambitious and has some cool ideas and also some great characters just. didn’t execute as well as I’d like #as much as we’re told the main threat is the government trying to put through a Registration Act #most of the actual antagonism we see is from other Witchers?#like the systemic discrimination got a bit lost in the witcher family drama and murder politics #important things to say about oppression and police violence but like....idk #she has this ‘deviation’- essentially evil sentient magic inside her head (and you KNOW I love that trope)#but it’s barely explained and very underutilised? other than helping her get out of bad situations you could take it out & would barely #change anything #also it’s explained at the start that she’s an empath but other than the very occasional mention I kept forgetting #will also note that I bumped this up my tbr because I saw the author talking/promoting it as the MCs sister being aroace but no mention #maybe it’ll come up in a sequel (there weren’t really any places where it would have made sense to bring it up here) but idk #(just the way the author was asking for advice on how to write an ace character and stuff you’d assume that they’d….put that in the book?)#not really a critique of the book itself but anyway. I really wanted to like this but the way it was put together just did not vibe with me #edit: I saw the author say on twitter that the version used for ARCs was before ace stuff was added and that there's other signif changes?#so perhaps that will be there! i'm not sure if I want to read it again but might skim just to see what that's about

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maboroshi-if · 1 year

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Ice Release Kekkai Genkai.... Uzumaki jinchuuriki mother.... Forbidden jutsus.... next you're gonna tell us that Izuma is gonna get killed off and we get one of his Sharingan.

MC is gonna be so absurdly stronger than Naruto

Lmaoooo, Izuna is getting heavy plot armor! I can't go through writing another death scene 🥴🥴Only way MC is getting those eyes is if their given voluntarily (which, I see no way of that ever happening soooo... no eyes for MC!)

#mc looks overpowered on paper #but could they technically be a silly lil goose in real time?#maybe 🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️#naruto if #if wip #maboroshi if #twine game #interactive fiction #twine wip #naruto #interactive games #interactive novel

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lcs-library · 1 year

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hiiiiiiii if ur up for it could I request some fluff headcanons of itaru with an affectionate s/o? pleas and thank u

Auuuggghhhh Itaru the scrunkly!!! I love writing for him, he’s such a gremlin<333. I had sm fun writing these, pease enjoy!!

Request rules

🎮I know this is about MC being affectionate, but I like to think Itaru is pretty affectionate, too.

🎮As a teasing method >:)

🎮It’s very rare that he will really open up and genuinely ask for attention, so you have to force it on him, especially when he’s gaming.

🎮You usually begin by draping your arms around him from behind the couch. Nothing too distracting, but enough that he’d know you’re there.

🎮He always responds with a “Hey, what’s up?” no matter how busy he is. It took a while to actually get to that point, though, but it was worth it.

🎮”Nothing. Just here to bother you. I wanna spend some time with you,” you respond.

🎮”Oh, is that it? Then come and sit next to me. That counts, right?”

🎮Oh no, it barely counts. Sounds like it’s time for revenge.

🎮You take a seat beside him like he asked.

🎮Ah. Kniroun again.

🎮Glancing over at his face, you see he’s completely fixated on the screen, his thumbs bashing wildly at the controller. It’s as if he’s under a spell the game has cast.

🎮With only a true love’s kiss to break it.

🎮You started off simple, inching yourself closer to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder like before.

🎮Then you upped the difficulty, leaving a kiss on his cheek. Then another. And another.

🎮Soon enough, you managed to get him to pause the game to let you clamber into his arms and shower him in affection.

🎮I like to think that he has barely any reaction to your affection, just taking it like it’s nothing.

🎮At least on the outside.

🎮On the inside, he’s practically going insane thinking about how lucky he is to have gotten your social link high enough to receive this.

🎮After he gets enough kisses, he gets all smiley and begins to return it, no strings attached.

🎮Overall, he’s very cute about the whole ordeal, and though he’s, y’know, Itaru, he can be quite romantic.

🎮He’s played enough B5! to quickly find your weak spots and exploit them.

🎮He’s already learned through his own fanservice that people are usually super weak to his kisses, and he quickly figured out that you’re no exception.

🎮Which he uses to his advantage.

🎮He likes to sneak up on you from behind, hugging your waist and giving you a peck on the cheek.

🎮He’s done it enough times that it doesn’t break you anymore, your stomach just does a flip as you ask, “What do you want?”

🎮”Oh, how rude, and here I just wanted to show some affection,” he replies sarcastically.

🎮”You’re kidding.”

🎮He sighs. “You got me.”

🎮”So?”

🎮”Will you pull for me?” he requests, slightly defeated.

🎮”What game?”

🎮”Kniroun mobile.”

🎮”Ah, the favorite.”

🎮”Yep.”

🎮A mischievous grin finds its way onto your face as you come up with a terrible idea.

🎮”Only so long as you let me be annoying with affection.”

🎮”Fine.” Itaru complies, a tired, yet fond, smile on his face.

🎮First, you pull for him in-game, then you pull him onto the couch to be the cheesiest partner you could be.

🎮Itaru didn’t even get to see the results of the pull before he got a glimpse of your body practically trampling him.

🎮The two of you make a really cute couple omg<3

🎮Anyway, the point is he might not like to admit it, but this little meow meow loves affection in all forms, even if he’s a little cheeky with it<3

#he’s so funny I love him #this was mostly based on stage Itaru since he’s my favorite version of him but i also hate him but I love him but he’s wayyy to overpowered-#a3!#fanfiction #a3! x reader #a3! act! addict! actors!#act! addict! actors!#a3 game #thanks for the request!#itaru chigasaki #itaru chigasaki x reader #a3! fanfiction #also can I just say that I love writing these kinds of mcs #just very cheeky and always up to no good #(except that no good is giving their partner a deadly amount of affection)#my fics #request

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cherryredcarousel · 1 year

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A New World

Village Invasion

Watching Momonga try to use the mirror of remote viewing was like trying to watch a grandpa text on a phone. Eventually he was able to zoom in to which Sebas clapped, "Congratulations my lord, I knew you could do it." "Thanks Sebas, I appreciate your support." Sebas bowed his head slightly, "of course, it is my duty as your personal butler. The soul reason I was created by Lord Touchme was to carry out your orders no matter what they are." Momonga hummed before looking back at the mirror, "Hm is this a festival?" Sebas leaned down to look himself, "no my lord, it appears to be an attack."

A village under attack? It's a group of knights from the looks of it.. "Wonder why their attacking that village?" I leaned forward in my chair as I got a closer look at the situation. "I'm not very sure, let's just leave them be for now." Momonga said as he went to swipe away from the mirror. <Message> Touchme would have done it, besides maybe we can use the village to kind of get information about this new world. <Message end> I looked at Momo. "You know what? How about you go take a look." He gestured toward me to which I stood. "Alright I will." I turned around and opened a portal for Aasim and I. "I'll be back."

On the other side of the portal I was met with two girls, one younger than the other. Two guards stood behind them, one already stricken a slash across the older girls back. "I don't think that was very nice." I said as I fling one of my small daggers into the guards heart. He fell dead as the other one fell back in shock, "what are you?!" He yelled as he picked up his blade, it shook as he stared at my form. "Nothing special, dragon lightning." He screamed with agony before dropping down. Such a weak spell, only fifth tier and yet he dropped like a fly. "Aasim go take care of the knights that wear that armor." He nodded before teleporting away. Now for these two, "are you okay dear," i kneeled down to their level. "Clearly not, as there is a slash on their back. Stupid question me." I reached into my inventory pulling out a healing potion. "Here, it'll heal you." She nervously took it, "is this poison?" They think I'm gonna kill them when I just saved their lives not even two minutes ago, and did they NOT HEAR ME SAY HEALING. "No it isn't, it's a healing potion." She nodded and quickly downed the whole bottle, her wound immediately sewed itself together. "Oh wow, the pains all gone. Thank you!" I nodded and stood back up. "Well then, have you heard of magic?" She nodded, "yes ma'am there's someone who comes to our village who is a magic caster." I hummed before raising my hand, I cast a few protection spells. "That should protect you as long as you stay right there, and here's this in case the spell doesn't work." I threw them two goblin horns, i quickly explained before walking toward the village where Aasim should be done with his task.

"W-what are you?!" A knight said as he groveled below Aasims boot. He did not answer as he lodged his axe into the knights left shoulder. A knight struck his back, his sword shattering. Aasim turned around "now what if you had scratched my armor? The armor gifted to me by my master. I think death wouldn't even suffice for the attempt." Aasim said as he grabbed the man picking him up. The man screamed, Aasim reached around his back ripping his armor plate off and digging his hand into his back, tearing his spinal cord out. "Lay in the ground and die." He said as he threw the knights spine at him. A fraction of the knights ran, Aasim teleported, cutting down the knights as he went. He muttered to himself, counting as he killed. "57....58...59..." he paused, "I have missed one." His blade dropped as he looked around for the 60th knight. "I have failed to eliminate them all." He stood in disbelief.

"Earth to Aasim?" This was the tenth time I've called his name.. He quickly snapped out of it, "my lady!" He threw himself at my feet, his armored faceplate kissing the ground. "I have failed, I failed to kill them all. One got away.." I kneeled down to him, "it's fine, maybe they'll tell their leader about us. Then we'll be famous." I mused as I pat the back of his head. "Now stand up let's talk to the village folk." "Actually I'll do the talking." Momo said as he appeared behind me. "Maybe that's best, after all your best when it comes to talking." I walked beside Albedo as Momo talked. From the looks of it the talking was going well.

I walked around the village as the village chief and Momo talked in a building, Aasim was walking beside me. "Excuse me?" I looked around seeing no one. Hm? I felt a tug on my pant leg, looking down I was met with the cutest kid. "Well hi there." I kneeled down. "Why do you have four arms?" "You dare question my ladies appearance?!" Aasim went to grab his weapon, i lift my hand. "It's fine, but back to your question. Let's just say that I'm very special, maybe one day you'll grow more arms too!" I chuckled. My ears perk as I hear talking of more men coming. I wave bye to the little girl and catch up to my brother who was standing, watching as an group of men on horses came up.

"My name is Gazef Stronoff the chief warrior. I have been ordered by the king to come take care of the invading knights. Your people are safe now, we will protect you." The village chief thanked him, Gazef spoke again after giving our little group a look over. "Who is the man and women with you?" "These two are the ones who have saved our village." I stepped toward, "we are some measly magic users who just so happened to be strolling by when we saw the knights attacking, so we being good people of course took them out." Gazef's stare lingered on me before speaking with Momonga. "General! There are an army of unknown surrounding the village as we speak."

"We can take care of it, no biggy." I smiled.

#demiurge x reader #demiurge/reader #demiurge #sebas #lord ainz #four arms #ainz #ainz ooal gown #albedo #overpowered main character #overlord #female mc #cocytus #reader insert #x reader

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