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#mcu incorrect quotes
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steve: how was training today?
y/n: it was good but nat shot clint
steve: and where were you?
y/n: i was over on the bench
steve: and what did you do?
y/n: nothing. i was over on the bench
steve: but you saw what happened?
y/n: yeah, 'cause i was over on the bench
steve: so you saw what happened and you did nothing?
y/n: yeah, ’cause i was sitting over on the bench
steve: let me ask you this. in nazi germany, when people saw what the nazis were doing and did nothing, were those good people?
y/n: no, those are bad people. you gotta stop the nazis
steve: but you saw what she did to clint and you did nothing!
y/n: BECAUSE I WAS OVER ON THE BENCH!
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maximoff-jp · 23 hours ago
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Nat: Why did you knock out Y/N?
Yelena: Well... she was telling me a ‘joke’ and I didn’t get it. Until she said, “Yelena, that’s the punch line!” So I punched her.
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xialing-gf · 2 days ago
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shang-chi: ooh, somebody has a crush katy: pfft, i don’t have a crush on xialing i just think she's cool, it’s not like i stay up at night thinking about her. *Later that night* katy, very much awake: Uh oh.
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gaystuffandmarvel · 2 days ago
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Natasha: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.
Yelena: Weak. I sleep with two.
Y/n: Your both pathetic.
Natasha: Oh yeah? And what do you sleep with?
Y/n: Wanda-
Natasha:
Yelena: Why am I not really surprised?
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seokjingreentea · 2 days ago
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Peter : thor is so ho-fine-te
Tony : thor is what?
Peter : ho-fine-te, hot,fine and cute.
Steve : kids these days
Clint : bro for real
Steve : don't "bro" me
Tony : yeah bro I agree
Steve : not funny
Clint : yeah bro not funny
Steve :
Steve : it should have been Clint.
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fandomsuntied03 · 6 months ago
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Bucky *screeching*: YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!
Y/N: wh-
Bucky: YOU’RE ESSENTIAL TO MY EXISTENCE!
Y/N:why are you screaming??
Bucky: BECAUSE I HAVE TROUBLE EXPRESSING MYSELF! IT HELPS TO YELL SENTIMENTAL THINGS IN AN AGRESSIVE TONE!
Y/N: I-
Bucky: I FUCKING LOVE YOU!
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galahadwilder · 10 months ago
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Thor, post-coronation: heimdall you have committed treason quite frequently
Heimdall: yes, my king
Thor: can I trust you to commit treason against me should it become necessary?
Heimdall: of course, my king
Thor: you’re already planning treason, aren’t you
Heimdall: it’s how our government stays functioning
Thor: good, good. Well, don’t let me stop you, just make sure to surprise me when it happens
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artedimichelangelo · 9 months ago
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Bucky: WHO ATE MY PLUMS?
Steve: Don’t look at me.
Bucky: SAM, WAS IT YOU?
Sam: *Looks at Y/N*
Y/N:
Sam: It was Y/N.
Y/N: SAM YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN´T TELL!
Bucky: Oh, it was you, baby? Were they good? Want some more?
Sam: This motherf-
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starkownsmyuwus · 6 months ago
Bucky: I'm asking for your permission to date your brother
Sarah: what is this? the dark ages? you know what, since you asked, no, you can't. beat me in a duel
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scarletxwinter · 7 months ago
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Dr Strange, meditating: Finally, let me just relax and—
Wong: hey look, that Spider-Kid is a criminal, Maximoff girl held an entire town hostage and tried to change reality, there’s also an alternate branch in time back in 2012 where Loki escaped with the Tesseract.
Dr. Strange:...
Wong: Look at the bright side, I found some money to buy us TWO Tuna Melt :)
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yes im pretty sure peter parker once drank so much coffee that he couldn't tell the difference between the floor and the ceiling and everyone freaked out you cannot change my mind
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underoooos · 2 months ago
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Bruce: On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?
Peter, staring into space with glazed over eyes: Pi
Peter: Low scale but never ending
Bruce:
Tony : Pete do we need to have a talk
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nxtashasmcu · 29 days ago
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[ sam and bucky are sitting on a bench ]
steve: why do you guys look so sad?
sam: sit down and we'll tell you
steve: *sits down*
bucky: the bench is freshly painted
steve: sh-
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