#me and my mom went to a beach for a bbq but got lost

[paigethepisces]

The Summer It All Fell Into Place - PART 2

summary - first kiss and bbq xo

word count 1651

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We were there in each other's arms for what seemed like forever, but it was only like 30 seconds.  

‘Okay get a room you two’ steven said as mom slapped his arm, Conrad and I just chuckled and let go of each other smiling.  

Conrad got my bag and Jeremiah got belly's, mom and Susannah said they would get the rest later. 

Once we got the bags inside, the three boys tackled belly and picked her up in their arms chanting ‘'Belly Flop’’, I could not stop laughing and I ran outside following them as I watched them throw her into the pool. They all turned to stare at me, I tried backing up and belly screamed ‘RUN’  I was running but my legs were not moving quick enough, then it happened. Conrad got my waist, steven got my legs and Jer grabbed my arms.   ‘NO’ I screamed ‘I’m not any part of this!’ I shouted  The boys chuckled ‘You’re making up for lost time’   ‘1’ …. ‘2’ …. ‘3’....   That was it, they threw me in, I surfaced, and the three boys were all laughing. Me and belly looked at each other. Game Plan.   ‘Ow’ belly exclaimed, ‘y/n landed on top of me, Jer please help me out’ she said, putting a sad voice on.  ‘Con, that was not funny, I landed on belly and hurt my ankle please help me out’   They both made their way to the edge of the pool and put their hands out, right on que we pulled them both in with us. 

They surfaced the water and we started to splash them; their faces were a picture. They did not know whether to be angry or laugh so they just kept their poker faces until they both jumped on Belly and Is back to dunk us under and we came back up spluttering. Steven ended up jumping in and we ended up playing chicken for about an hour and bit, obviously my team won. 

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The sun had just set, we had all just had a BBQ and the three boys appeared in the porch doorway dressed up ready to go out.   ‘going anywhere fancy?’ I spoke up  ‘nope, just to the bonfire’ steven said looking between himself and the other two  ‘Maybe we were not cool enough for an invite’ I said, looking over at belly  she turned to look at me and let out a laugh, ‘we will have our own fun’ she said with a wink  ‘We did not ask you because we did not think it would be your thing’ Jer said backing up  ‘Then what is our thing?’ I said with a smirk  They all just looked at each other, shrugged and left. What could they say? They just forgot to invite us, or they did not want us there. Either way, I would be going. 

Me and belly must have had the same idea because we both sprinted inside and got our nice clothes on; mom and Susannah did not realize because they were over by the dock having their late-night talk and smoking session. 

We got to the beach; we ended up walking up there because we did not think that far ahead. 

We got there and immediately went to get a drink, I am the best sibling to belly. I don’t care if she drinks, as long as she is responsible.   Jer found us, said the quickest hi and ran off with belly in his hand to go dance. I love them both.    

I was on around my third drink now, a little tipsy and dancing on my own while walking around. There he is, I see him. Conrad. Sat with Nicole and her best girlfriends. They were sat arm in arm, laughing and joking together, I scoff to myself.  

I down my drink and go to the center and completely let loose. Swaying my hips to the beat, no care in the world. I feel some hands on my hips, they do not feel that big so definitely not Connies. 

‘Well, hey there darling’ a voice said from behind me ‘so how come I have not seen you round here before? My name is Cash, what is your name pretty girl?’  I immediately stop dancing and the alcohol rushes to my head; he is just a blurred man Infront of me.  ‘First of all, ew, second of all none of your business’ I say backing away   he scoffs and places his hands on my hips ‘that's no way to talk to a gentleman, how about me and you get out of here?’ he said very dominantly   I look around to see if anyone is looking, but there is no one. Just me and him.  I try to release his grip from my hips, but he just strengthens it and tries to take me off to the side near the pier. I shouted, ‘Get the fuck off me you creep’ Then that is it, I just felt a shooting pain in my hand. I punched him. Conrad came running over and Cash tried getting up off the floor and he kicked him back down. I clutch my hand in pain, and it's got his blood all over it from his nose. Gross.  Steven, Jer and Belly appear next to me all with confused looks on their faces.  

‘what the fuck happened y/n’ steven said  ‘He wouldn’t get off me, wouldn’t leave me alone. H-he tried to take me to the pier in the end, I didn’t know what to do so I just punched him’ I said with tears blurring my vision 

How am I so drunk? I had 3... maybe 4 drinks. 

Conrad said he would take me home and the others could stay there, I do not know what he said exactly but it was something along those lines. My brain is a bit fuzzy. 

‘Con, you didn’t have to do this you know’ I said looking up at him  ‘Do what? I wanted to go home anyway’ he said  ‘Did you though? You looked like you were having a wonderful time’ I said scoffing and speeding up the walking a little.  He looked a bit confused, and then his face changed like a light bulb went off in his brain. ‘Oh that? She is just a friend y/n’ he said as he caught up   ‘Friends don’t look at friends that way Connie, you were all over each other’ I said, and I didn’t dare look him in the eye.  ‘I don't know what you think you saw but it is nothing y/n trust me’ he said  

I just couldn’t carry it on anymore, the rest of the walk home was quiet. Walking side by side, his hands in his pockets and my good hand clutching my bad. 

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We got back to the beach house, door unlocked but the lights are off. They must be in bed.   I walk through the door and Conrad shuts the door behind me. He goes to the breakfast counter and just leans against it with his arms folded over his chest.  ‘goodnight’ I say hurriedly as I make my way past go upstairs.   he grabs hold of my forearm ‘wait’ he says ‘let me clean the blood off and check your hand over first’   ‘No no its okay, I can do that’ I say whilst looking up at him feeling his warm hand against my arm 

I can't look at him the same way he looks at me, he drives me crazy. Those eyes, that crazy hair, the smell of his cologne. It drives me crazy. 

He picks me up and sits me on the breakfast counter ‘let me do this for you’ he said pleading  ‘I don’t really have much of a choice now do I?’ I spoke softly 

He made his way round the kitchen getting the supplies to clean the blood off, and a drink of water for me to sober up a little bit.   he starts to clean it and I wince, it hurts I didn’t think punching someone would hurt.   ‘you’re okay’ he says looking at my hand and stroking his thumb over my knuckles.  ‘You packed a punch there y/n, I'm proud of you’ he laughed, ‘you kicked ass’ he said whilst holding eye contact.  I broke the eye contact and looked at my hand ’thanks’ I said. I don’t know what else to say, drunk me isn't the best person to talk to people they like.  

He finished up and told me it wasn’t broking it was just bruised.  

He stood between my legs, with his hands on the counter either side of me.   ‘You looked beautiful tonight’ he said whilst stroking a piece of hair out of my face  my breath hitched in my throat ‘well, you're not so bad yourself con’ I said as we held eye contact.  

Jesus, he doesn’t know what he does to me. 

I jump off the counter side and just stand there playing with my hands not knowing what to do.  

But we were just staring at each other. Looking into each other's souls.  

I lean up and place a peck on his lips, he just stands there frozen and doesn’t say anything.   what did I just do? Why did I do that?  

Hes going to think I'm weird now 

The door opened and Jer, Steven and Belly came through the door all laughing.  

‘i-I I'm going to bed now, night’ I exclaim and run upstairs not saying another word. Not one.  

I shut the door behind me and lean against it for a moment trying to gather my thoughts. I hope he doesn’t come in, I hope he doesn’t knock. His room is only across the hall. I am so embarrassed.  

I clean my face and jump into bed, I really hope tomorrow is a better day and all this is forgotten. 

#jeremiah fisher #conrad x reader #tsitp fanfic #tsitp x reader #tsitp x y/n #team conrad #tsitp conrad #conrad x you #steven conklin #belly conklin #tsitp jeremiah

[laezey]

Part II. Our story 2020-2024.

Oh Canada, what a beauty you were. But it was much more beautiful because you were next to me. It was summer so I didn’t get any snow. The first night, we were one.

I remember when we were in Niagara Falls and I nearly got lost because you didn’t hold my hand. You were watching me tho. Your sister took pictures, I’m sure you deleted them now. But I remember. I also remember Port Dover, a small little place that looks like a beach. They have the best ice cream you told me. I ordered too much food and your mom laughed when she was my reaction to the amount they had for me. On the way home, I was holding your hand and you fell asleep. I stared a little. I always stared at you.

I played WoW, I wanted to try it. I would copy whatever the character said and you’d laugh. You also laughed when I nearly got killed by a fish. I know my character is long gone now. I was supposed to come back one day to finish my trial. But I never will. We also got into some fights.

I think the first one was because I wanted a ring and you were reluctant. After 3 years, it got on my nerves that we’re not moving. I was being petty, you tried to hold my hand and I kept rejecting it. We went home and I don’t know how it started but you said you had more money than me. That cut me deep because you knew I used my savings to save Lola and to come see you. Apparently you cried. In my anger I tried to show I wanted to go back to France and book a ticket. But the site was unavailable. We ended up hugging it out. And I cried and apologized for saying you had a black heart. Even today, it hurts I said that. But you went and told your mom about the plane ticket thing, that angered me. I’m trying to make a good impression and you’re trying to ruin it.

Then, the other one… I think I pushed my joke of wanting to go back to France too far and you tried to send me back to France. I cried and had a panic attack. I had to beg to stay. I even said if you do this it’s over. You replied "Then it’s over". I guess it was a clue.

And the serious last one, Toronto. I was looking out the window, holding your hand and your mom asked if I was okay. I said yes, you said I was upset. She asked if I took my pills. Again, I’m already under so much pressure and you make me look bad. I refused to hold your hand, and then you and your sister wanted to visit a museum. I had no interest in that but I said I’d wait. You didn’t go.

Some less serious once, me leaving with your sister to go eat at Wendy’s because you started counting the money you spent on me, in front of me. Another when I got defeated by a Dollarama door and you didn’t really help. Those were silly.

But you mentioned the fact I once told you, you could bail out anytime because I have BPD. You later on told me you never said that, you just wanted to know how to help me. Those were the bad parts.

But I can’t forget lick wars, using your beard to fix my eyebrows, popping your pimples (no comment), GETTING FARTED ON, playing with your hair, scratching your back, tickling your belly to make you laugh, fake humping you, watching TV shows, hugging, kissing. The BBQ, when your parent’s friend told you to never let me go. Your dad jokes (especially the one about your feet), your sister, you and I bursting out laughing when we heard that poor man with the weird voice. The stories about your mom drinking your pee by accident. Sitting at the table laughing, all of us.

Then we had to say goodbye. That was horrible. You were wearing a grey top with jeans and took me to the Air France entry. I was already crying but knowing you had to go soon, I cried so hard on you. It was heartbreaking. I had to go, but I kept looking back at you. And you stood there, blew me kisses and followed me until you couldn’t see me anymore. I didn’t know it was the last time I’d see you. It was painful enough thinking it was temporary, and now it’s forever.

When we were on your bed you promised we’d stay together forever. And you were scared of never being in my life ever, not even as friends. I am completely ghosted now. Blocked everywhere as if I never mattered or existed. You said I could wish you happy birthday, I did, and a few days later I’m blocked everywhere. No warning, nothing.

You said I was special, you said I was the love of your life. You fought so hard for all the other girls but never for me. I guess I am special that way. Maybe I was just a 3 year bandaid for what the other girl put you through. Maybe. I’ll never know anyways.

#heartbreak #heartbroken #canada #loss #love

[youralternantpersonality]

Everlasting Love

Part 1: Eternal Love

Part 2: Everlasting Love

Part 3: Endless Love

Part 4: Enduring Love

***

Y/n POV

It’s getting darker and darker by the second. It feels like it’s dropped 30 degrees in a matter of 20 minutes. I stopped hearing Snout’s barking but instead, I would see him. He looked like a ghost almost. Foggy but I could tell it’s my baby. We were playing until it started to get darker and colder. Now, I’m under this tree that I’ve run around countless times. Holding myself together to create warmth. Snout comes up to me and although he is a ghost-like figure, I can feel his warmth, feel his heart beating out of his chest. His face pressed up against my neck while I hold on.

I want to let go. I’m tired, lost, and don’t know what is going on. I kept running around this forest, but it never ends. I’m alone… if this is my death, then all I ask is for one thing.

Let my family and friends know I love them.

Paul POV

The ride home is silent. Sam says nothing and I won't attempt to start anything. I replay the conversation that we just had in Y/n room. She can change, but can’t be on La Push grounds, even if she’s resistant towards humans. Normally, I’d say “fuck this” to anything that has to do with immortality. But because my one reason for being happy at this point is on the verge of leaving, I’m willing to throw in the towel just to have her in my arms again.

We pull up to my house. Dad’s not home (shocking) so it won’t be hard to grab some stuff and leave without playing a million questions.

“I’ll be back in an hour. Or if you’re hungry, just stop by our place and we can leave from there.” I nod my head and head inside. As soon as I close the front door, I lean back on it and breathe. I let go of everything right there and attempt to hold myself together. It took me a minute, but I eventually made it to my room and started packing my stuff. As I was doing so, I was brought back to what happened earlier that day.

Before everything went downhill.

Morning of the Accident: August 24th, 2020

Dad came home late last night, again, and we started to argue that morning about the mess HE made that I was supposed to know about THE NEXT MORNING. So, like I normally do, I (unwillingly) clean up the shit he did and headed over to Y/n place in Forks. We were supposed to meet up later, but after the shitty morning my dad decided to put me through, I didn’t care too much about it.

As I pull up, Mrs. Vargas—her neighbor— and Y/n group home “mom”, Chrysanthemum (Chrys), was walking out of the house laughing to something I didn’t care to pay attention to. I step out of my truck and it grabs their attention. I can hear Chrys’s heartbeat twice as fast. Yeah…. I have that effect on people.

“Good morning ladies. Is Y/n awake? Or is the still snoring like a lion?” I smile and they chuckle a little bit.

“No, she’s awake, just being lazy,” Chrys says pointing toward the house. “Go on in, maybe then she’d get up.” She smiles.

“One can only hope. I will see you guys later.” I gave a polite smile and headed upstairs. I go through the garage entrance and wave to Kyle (group home dad) and a few of the boys nearby. I exchange a few words with them and went inside. Before I could reach the stairs, I can hear her coming down.

“PAUL!!!” She runs down, damn nearly tripping, falling into my arms. “Hi.” Is all she says, looking up at me with her cute smile that shows her small dimple on her left cheek. I can’t help but smile down at her and kiss her nose.

“Hi, troublemaker. Want to do something today until later or be lazy?”

“Can we be lazy. I love the pack, but I need to mentally prepare for what’s going to happen.” I laugh with her going up the stairs.

“What? It’s just painting.”

“Yes, but it’s you guys. Babe, I love each of you guys and hope you never change, but dear Lord…Emily, Kim, Clair, and I have to clean up after you guys like five-year-olds.” She says looking at me lazily. I smile,

“But, I’m your five-year-old.” I smile at her. She rolls her eyes and points to the bed, where we continue to have a lazy afternoon.

Current Day: August 30th, 2020

I was interrupted by my thought by knocking at my bedroom door. I turn to see my dad, surprisingly, looking at me with bloodshot eyes. I turned away, not in the mood to deal with everything. But what shocks the hell out of me is when he catches me off guard by grabbing my arm and pulling me into a hug. I stand there frozen for a few seconds before I hear him say,

“You’re not alone son. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you since your mother died. And I’m sorry for what happened to Y/n. You’re going to be okay in the end.” I didn’t realize until he finished talking that I was holding onto him too and crying with tears that I thought that had run out. You never realize what you need until it hits you full force.

After mom died, dad turned to drinking and drugs. I grew up with this hell since I was eight. And all it took was to see my pain, the same pain he experiences, to get the love from a man I used to look up to. The thoughts scared me. If I lost Y/n, would I be him? I stepped away from those thoughts as we heard the doorbell ring. Dad went to go open the door and I grabbed the last bit of my things and headed to the front of the house.

“You’re ready?” Sam asked. I just nodded my head and headed towards the truck.

“Paul!” I turn to see dad walking up to me, “Here. Take this.” He hands me a ring. “It was your mothers. She’d want you to have it.” he places it in my hand. I look up at him and he smiles at me. “Go get her…son.” Tears form in my eyes as I give one last hug to my dad and head off to the Cullen’s house to test faith with the future.

As we pull up to the Cullen’s oversized mansion—seriously? Who needs a place this big? —Sam and I sit in the car. After what just happened, after everything that just happened, I look over to Sam and ask,

“Take care of him. Make sure he gets help…and to know that I love him. Always have, always will.” Sam nodded at me and promised he would as I headed out of the truck. Before I could take a step, the little pixie leech was in front of me.

“Everything will be okay. Your father will be fine, and so will you.” She says smiling.

“How is she.” I blurt out. Not specifically at her, but at anyone who knew. The Good Doctor Cullen replied,

“She’s stable. She’s recovering perfectly after the procedure. How are you though Paul?” I shrug my shoulders. I look at all of them and I bite my tongue. I hate how I had to turn to them, but I hate that I had no other choice. Either we both stay on this earth, or we both go. Not one or the other.

“Let’s go. The faster we get there, the faster we can start the transformation. Our plane leaves in an hour.” Edward said. He hugged Bella and their kid before getting in the car. I followed and before I knew it, I was back to my memories of before I even met Y/n. Before hell broke loose. Before my mom died.

12 years ago

Mom and Mrs. Black went to the store for the BBQ we were having later tonight on the beach. I was with Jacob and Embry wrestling outside after our mom’s told us to not get our clothes dirty. It wasn’t even 20 minutes later after they left, did Mr. Nhavio, our next-door neighbor ran up to Billy and my dad yelling something about my mom and Mrs. Black. Without a glance at us, they took off. We all looked at them and ran after them. Embry was a little slow, and Jacob wasn’t any faster. But I was able to keep up with them.

I wish I hadn’t.

There I saw, Mrs. Black’s car, tangled with a tree and another car that was rammed into the guardrail. I looked up and saw dad and Billy run to Mrs. Black’s car but was stopped by the police. Something told me something was wrong. It wasn’t until I got a better look that I saw red spots, dripping, out of the broken window. Blood. I saw the blood. And before I knew it, I was running up to the car and screamed for my mom. I dodged everyone and made it to her. She looked up at me with a smile before her eyes closed forever. I didn’t know who grabbed me, but I fought them. I fought until I was out of their arms, but I didn’t make it that far. Eventually, I was in my father’s arms.

Later that night, everything was silent. Dad and Billy went to the hospital and Jake and I stayed with Mrs. Call. I never told Jake what I saw, no matter how much he begged, no matter how much he pleaded, I wouldn’t budge. What I saw was horrifying. Something that haunted me for years. The nightmare that consumed me. Eventually, Jake did see what I saw. He understood why I didn’t say anything. There was a silent understanding afterward. I didn’t mean to show him, I was just lost in my thoughts. Luckily, the nightmares ended, and I saw and remembered mom differently. But that only happened because of her. My Y/n cleared all the darkness and pain away weeks after getting to know her. And I couldn’t be any more grateful.

Current Day: August 30th, 2020—At the Airport; Cullen’s private jet.

At least I can say I rode a jet, a private one at that. It was weird, again, just plain weird to be anywhere around the lee-Cullens longer than 5 minutes. I figure the least I could do is call them by their name and not call them out their name. They don’t have to do this. So, the least I could do is be grateful.

“Do not fret about its Paul. We are happy to help in any way we can.” Edward said. I forgot; they have the mind reader.

“Can I get some privacy?” I tell him, attempting to control my anger. He nods his head and turns to Carlisle to discuss whatever they need to talk about. After a while the soothing motion of the plane lulls me to sleep, and it may not have been a restful one, it was at least one that I needed.

My Love (for the series)

Masterlist

#paul lahote twilight #paul lahote #paullahote #paul lahote x reader #paullahotexreader #twilight #twilightsaga #twilightwolfpack #breaking dawn #breakingdawn #breakingdawnpartone #BreakingDawnPart2 #breakingdawnpart1 #eclipse #midnightsun #midnight sun #new moon #newmoon #edward cullen #edwardcullen #Bella Swan #bella cullen #bellaswan #bellacullen

[hekategoddessofthenight]

Reunited Pt.1

Daniella

Welp here I am, going home for the 10 year high school reunion, after I talked myself into going just to rub my success in my old classmate faces, granted I only had a day to decide seeing as it's Friday night and it's currently Thursday, I packed my bags and bought a ticket for the next flight out to Alabama, I felt my IQ plummet the second the planes tires screeched along the tarmac, I grabbed my overnight bag out of the overhead compartment and dragged my feet off the plane and walked into the airport terminal.

My big brother Cash who is 5 years older than i am and who never left the state,  and his wife were the ones to come and pick me up seeing as our parents moved to the beach after I moved away leaving the house to Cash and his wife Ashlyn.

Cash is your typical good ol southern boy, never without the bluejeans with the dip ring in the back pocket of every pair thad been permenatly rubbing into it from years of rubbing again the seat of his pick up truck, his work boots that I had to hide from him when he and Ashlyn got married during the summer of my junior and senior year of high school.  

“So Dani, how is the big city?”  Ashlyn asks me as I toss my bag into the cab of the truck, it's been awhile since I been home and by a while I mean like 4-5 years and in that time not only have I lost some of my southern twang but I keep forgetting what my family sounds like and wow.

“it's a new adventure every day, I can’t get enough of it.” I tell her

“Cash, do you hear her my god she’s lost her southern drawl and picked up a northern accent! You really need to come home more Daniella or at least call more.” she says and Cash pulls away he just sits there nodding his head in agreement going mhmm as he spits his chew into the bottle.

“I will do just that when I have the time, works been crazy, I have so many books to read and decide if they are worth publishing I hardly have time for anything else, I had to beg my boss to even let me come down here for a few days.” I say as I pull out my ipad and skim over the latest manuscript of an up and coming romance author.

As we pull into the driveway of my childhood home I grab my bag and head in the house to my old room, Cash and Ashlyn boxed up alot of  my stuff and shoved it in the closet to make my old room into a spare when mom and dad come up to visit but the posters of New York on the walls, and the millions of pictures I took when the senior class trip went to Manhattan are still up.

That trip, that was it from the second I stepped onto the busy city street and smelt the ammonia filled subway I knew that was where I wanted to be, where I belonged.

I toss my bag onto the bed and start to unpack my bag, hanging up the strapy V-neck Chanel dress before it wrinkles and setting my black Louboutin below it all ready to go tomorrow night.

I change into some jeans and a T and head out to the living room, and watch them for a little bit. Cash is working the computer seeing as he does some kind of online job and Ashlyn is getting ready for the night shift at the local nursing home. “I'll be back.” I say as I steal the keys to the truck and head for town, it's been awhile since I been home but DAMN, after being in a city that never sleeps and going to a town that literally closes at 5 pm sucks, I wonder around town, its small but when I was little I thought it was huge but now this is small, as I wonder peering into some of the old shops I use to go to I can see that they have been closed up for some time also there is a thick layer of dust collected onto the glass, as I keep walking I’m waiting the the enviable shoe to stop and someone I went to school with or someone that has known me my entire life to recognize me and then word spreads like wildfire that I am here and I’m not ready for that.

not only have I changed emotionally but I have physically as well, I lost some weight, which I didn’t have to work so hard at seeing as I live in a city that I walk everywhere in but I also changed the way I ate when I moved their, I tried every single place that was labeled as southern comfort food in the first year I was their and nothing compared to my momma’s cooking but my taste has expanded now and I’m sure that I will not be able to find good fresh sushi here.

after touring the town I made my way up the the next major town for the world famous Gibson BBQ, after walking out with the few things I have been craving I manage to make it back home, I settle down in my room with my food and read some more of the newest novel I have been assigned to read over, after a few hours I finished the book and decide that it is worth publishing, I sit my iPad down and scan my old room, I rummage threw the closet and spot my old years book on the shelf and seeing as I have the reunion tomorrow it might be best if I figure out who is who again, I’ve kept up with some people when I moved thanks to social media, but its sad looking back and seeing that almost 80% of the graduating class is all ether married or have a few kids by now. Except me.

As I flip threw the book I happen to come across Aiden Rose, I use to help him pass English he was the high school heartthrob every girl wanted him including me and every girl was always trying to be my friend to try and get close to him but it never worked, I mean the closest thing I ever came to what one would mistake for a date with him is when we went to the diner for a last minute english paper he needed help with.

I had the biggest crush on him I mean for christ sakes I was a bumbling idiot when he was around, always stumbling over my words, tripping over air and up stairs it was sad, I would often have the thought of what if, what if he asked me to prom or what if he asked me to go to homecoming, or even asked me out on a date and gave me a kiss, but the biggest what if was what if i didn’t look the way i did, i was the short girl with the dopy looking glasses who always got her work done well before anyone, i was the girl who spent most of her free time in the library reading books all the time or writing in my notebook of stories i thought of, all of them being romance novels. to him i was just the girl that would help him pass his classes nothing more.

I wonder what he’s been up to since then, last time I saw him was the night of graduation after the ceremony, he hugged me and thanked me for all the help over the 4 years I was helping him, the next day I was on my way to NYU for journalism, I occasionally would look him up over the last 10 year but people change so much that I wouldn’t know if it was him or not. I wonder if he will be their tomorrow, I sure would like to know what he does now, I’m sure he maybe took over his family’s ranch or maybe he works at the local store, who knows but I’m sure I will know more tomorrow, that is if he even shows up, no point in worrying about it time to get some sleep.

[leelee10898]

Fast cars & Freedom: Body say (9/?)

Ellie and Luca spend the day with Colt and friends. Will they be able to get along with the pending divorce? Catch up HERE

Raiting: Mature. This chapter contains NSFW content.

Pairngs: Logan x Ellie, Colt x Ellie

Song inspiration:

Ellie darted across the Dormitory parking lot. he feet sloshing through the large puddles, body frozen from the cold East coast rain. She mentally reprimanded herself for committing to a school where it gets so cold. She pulled her rain soaked clothes off,immediately upon entering the warmth of her Dorm. She put on her trusty Langston sweat shirt on and a pair of leggings as she sat indian style on her bed.  She pulled the cardboard box from the bag and ripped it open, tearing the foil wrapper as the plastic stick landed in her open palm. How did she end up here? In this mess?

She had been in school a few months, constantly tired, nauseous, she chalked it up to stress and nerves. It wasn't until her jeans wouldn't button, and the increased appetite did she realize she was late, very late. She took a deep breath, walking into the bathroom. A few minutes later she sat the test on the sink, forcing herself to look at anything but the slim piece of plastic.

Ellie paced the floor, it was the longest five minutes of her life. She was a smart girl, straight As, Valedictorian. Her common sense went out with window when it came to not one, but 2 bad boys. The phones timer went off, with shaking hands she reached for the test, flipping it over.

Two pink lines.

****

“Ellie? Earth to Ellie!”

“Hmm, what?” She perked up. “I was saying,  I have Darnell’s number, you'll need to call his office and set up and appointment. Jesus,  where were you?” Riya stared at her best friend. “I'm sorry Ri. My mind was elsewhere.” she sat up, trying to give her full attention.  “Yeah, no shit. Whats on your mind El? You've been lost in thought a lot lately.”

“I was just thinking about the past, about the what if’s.” Riya rubbed her temples, this was the same song and dance she had been going over with Ellie for the past 5 years. Ever since Luca was born, she started with the what ifs.

“What have I told you about the past?”

“That its the past and there is nothing I can do to change it.” Ellie sighed. “Very good. But what you can do is focus on the future.  Soon you'll know who Lucas father is, and you'll have that closure.” She squeezed her hand. “speaking of closure. Have you told Colt you filed?”

“Yeah. I um called him the other day and told him.” she filled Riya in in the conversation she had with colt, how he wasn't happy about her filing and asked her to reconsider. She and Luca were headed to Colts house the next day for a bbq and she hoped it wouldn't be awkward.

The next morning she woke up to Luca in her face, overly excited for their trip to Colts. Ellie got up and went through the motions of getting ready and also packed up. Colt gave her instructions to bring a bathing suit for them both, and a change of clothes as well as Pajamas incase they decided to stay over if Luca got tired. She chuckled to herself at the memory of their conversation.  She had been doing this far longer, yet here he was telling her what to pack.

Ellie loaded Luca into the car and put the address into the GPS. She had recently bought a new car, Toby cried when he seen it. He was upset she did not take him with her and called it a grandma car. Her mind wandered, wondering what Colts home would look like. She had been to Logas house, it was beautiful,  big, not something she would have picked herself, but it suited Logan well. When she thought of where colt would live, she could only picture the old garage. The small, Dimly lit living quarters off to the side with 2 small bedrooms.

She turned off the road, to where the GPS told her to.  Her eyes widening at the sight in front of her. It was a modest blue,beach front cottage with a large wrap around porch. This was definitely not the garage. She got out of the car, unhooking Luca from her car seat when she looked up to see colt standing shirtless at the top of the stairs. “Cooooolt.” luca went running into his arms. “Hey squirt,  you ready to have some fun?” Luca shook her head enthusiastically “Ahhh heck yeah I am.”

“Luca! Watch the language.” Colt chuckled shaking her head. “Go on in and see uncle Toby. He's been driving me crazy for you to get here.” Colt walked down to the car helping Ellie with the bags she had.

“You didn't tell me you lived at the beach.” She eyed him. “Yeah part time. You like?”

“Well the outside is beautiful, I haven't seen the inside yet.” He gave her a smirk motioning inside.  The inside was just as nice, the walls were painted in earth tones, a nice nautical theme decorating the walls and tables. She didn't see it being the work of colt, clearly a female decorated, maybe an ex girlfriend?

He showed her around, three bedrooms, 2 bath. a nice kitchen, living room and dining area. She felt a bit jealous, she always wanted to live at the beach, or even just have a beach house to disappear to every so often. “Gangs all here. Toby, X, Mona. Want a drink?” He asked. She nodded “I'll have a glass of moscato if you have it.” Colt walked into the kitchen returning a minute later, glass in hand. “I asked Ximena to find out your favorite.” The gesture making her smile.

They walked out onto the back deck, Ellie hugging everyone her eyes settled on a woman, with long brown hair she had never seen before. Colt placed his hand on the small of her back, walking her over to the mystery woman. “Ellie, I would like you to meet my mom Darcy,” He looked at his mother “Mom, this is Ellie.” Suddenly Ellie felt very awkward, she tried her best to steal her nerves and extended her hand. “Hello, it's nice to meet you.”

“Oh honey no, I don't shake hands.” She stood up pulling Ellie into a hug. “It's nice to finally meet the elusive Ellie. If it wasn't for the few pictures he would stare at for hours, I would have thought you were fake.” “Mom.” Comt gave her a pleading look. “Pictures?” Ellie arched her brow at him, she made a mental note to visit the subject again later. “Ooook, I think Mona is looking for you.” Colt interrupted.

The afternoon went by, they ate and reminisced about the days of the MPC, Darcy sharing some stories of her time there, at least the ones she didn't mind Colt hearing. She had moved past that life long ago, but something in her eyes told Ellie something was unsettled there.

Colt and toby took Luca down to the shore line, letting her play. Ellie sat at the table watching them. The way Colt took to Luca warmed her heart. “Mind if I join you?” She looked up seeing cindy “Sure.” She answered, quickly bringing her focus back to the sight in front of her.  “Luca is a gem, such a beautiful little girl and a lot of sass. She reminds me of Colt when he was a kid.” Ellie turned to face her “Oh yeah?”

“Mmhmm, he was a smart ass from the time he learned to talk. Sharp as a tack too.” She chuckled. Ellie looked back towards the ocean, Colt shooting her a wink that made her momentarily.

“I can see what my son sees in you. Your sweet, kind hearted, intelligent, not to mention cute as a button.” Ellie blushed again “Ah thanks.” “You remind me A Lot of myself when I was younger.” Ellie turned her body towards Darcy, sensing she had more she wanted to say.  “You were smart to get out of that life, make something of yourself. You were smart to file for divorce.” Ellie's eyes widened “Really? You're happy about the divorce?”

She took a long swig of wine, sitting the glass down on the table.  “I love my son. He's always been drawn to the life of the crew, he's got a lot of Teppei in him. Sure he's on the straight and narrow now, but that can all change in an instant.  For the Kaneko's, that life runs deep.”

Ellie couldn't answer, she had no words. Darcy reached out grabbing her hand “I can tell you still Love him, its written all over your face. End it while you can.”

“Well, it's time for me to hit the road. Think about what I said.” Ellie nodded her head as she watched Darcy make her way down to the beach to say goodbye to Colt. She sat there dumbfounded, but Darcy's words replaying in her head End it while you can. One thing she was sure of was the fact she needed A Lot more wine.

They enjoyed the rest of the afternoon hanging out and talking. Ellie sat at the outside table on colts deck. Talking with Ximena, Toby and Mona. They had gotten on the subject of parenting, and how her life has changed since becoming a mother.

“I have never been away from her for a whole night before. I've come home late, and she's been in bed. But she has always been there.”

“Oh sweetie. You need a night for you. Where you don't have to be Mom, and can just be Ellie.” ximena said.  Colt stood against the railing watching Luca play in the sand, but listening to the conversation going on around him.

“I haven't had that in almost 6 years. I wouldn't know how to even act.” Ellie shook her head with a smile.

“Hey why don't Toby and I take her for the night.” Ximena grinned. Ellie hesitated “oh! I don't know.”

“Oh come on Ellie belly. It'll be great. Oh we can make a pillow fort, and watch minions, and make popcorn.” Toby squealed with excitement.

“Its Toby and X, El. You know damn well they would never let anything happen to Luca.” She looked between them, of course colt was right, toby and ximena were protective of her, and took to Luca as if they were her aunt and uncle. “Ok. Fine.”  she sighed.

“yes!” Toby jumped up running to the top of the steps. “you hear that Lulu, you're having a sleepover at Aunt X and uncle tobys house tonight!”  Luca came screaming, “Really? Alright! Yes! Thank you mommy!”

“Don't thank me, thank your Da-. Colt. Thank colt.” she silently prayed he didn't hear it, She didn't mean to say that, she had no idea if he was or not. But all of Colts certainty was affecting her thought process.  Luca ran over throwing her arms around him. “Thank you Colt, thank you so much.” He softened right away, wrapping his arms around her, she could make out a faint glistening in his eyes.

Ellie could feel the stinging in her eyes, it had been the first real bit of raw emotion she had witnessed between either him or Logan with Luca. She didn't expect it to effect her that  much. “Excuse me. I have to go, check something.” she tried to even her voice, but she knew he would pick up on it. She walked into the house, making her way towards the bathroom. “Hey, El. What's the matter.” the tears were already spilling from her eyes now. “No. Nothing. Im fine. Really.”

He touched her shoulder, turning her around. “Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” she half laughed “You did everything right. It just got me a little emotional that's all.” Colt knew what she was talking about,  it hit him in the feels as well.

“She. She really hugged me. Like a real hug Ellie. I don't, I don't know how to explain it.” He couldn't wipe the smile off his face. It was in that moment he knew, no matter what those test results said, he would protect that little girl with his life. Luca was the brightest star in his sky. and ellie was his Sun and his moon.

A short time later Ellie and Colt stood at the front door waving goodbye to Luca. Colt going back Inside to start cleaning up once the car was out of view, Ellie following a moment later. She jumped in the kitchen starting to wash dishes. “You don't have to do that, I can get those.” Colt insisted but Ellie waved him off.

He put the food away, and started cleaning other areas of the kitchen.  “So what are you going to do on your night off?” he questioned as he wiped down the countertops. “I don't know honestly, maybe take a bubble bath, watch some tv.” she shrugged as she finished up the dishes. Her phone pinged from across the room “on second thought,  maybe not.” She frowned. “What's wrong?”

“That was my dad, Sally is staying over. Maybe I'll just get a room for the night.”

Colt walked over handing her a glass of wine “You can stay here, don't argue. I have a guest room. Now take your ass out on the deck and relax.” He nudged her outside as he finished cleaning up.

Ellie stood against the railing, feeling the warm sea breeze against her skin. She closed her eyes letting the sound of the waves breaking against the earth calm her. She wasn't sure if it was her moments nirvana or the wine but she felt more relaxed then she had in a long time. Colt stood against the doorframe taking her in, this was something he could get used to, something he wanted more then anything he just had to change her mind, show her that they belonged together.  

Ellie noticed Colt standing there out of the corner of her eye. “It's a beautiful view.” she spoke, back turned to him.  “Yeah, it is.” He spoke never taking his eyes off of her. He walked over joining her against the railing. “I text X to check on Luca. She's watching a movie with toby in their pillow fort.” He chuckled. “I'm glad she's having fun. Thanks for checking on her Colt, you really have no idea how much I appreciate how accepting you guys have been of her.”

“Hey, you don't have to thank me El. I love that little girl no matter what.”

Ellie leaned up, placing a soft kiss on his lips taking them both by surprise. She pulled back their eyes locked, each searching the other for any sign. Colt made the next move, his lips back on hers this time with more force, he kissed her like his life depended on it, a hunger rising within him that he suppressed for to long.  Ellies fingers tangled in his black locks, deepening the kiss a soft moan escaping her.

Colt reached down grabbing her by the back of her thighs and lifting her up, she wrapped her legs around him as he walked her into the house. He pushed her up against the wall his lips fixed on her neck. Her head was spinning, she hadn't been with anyone in a long time and the way his lips felt against her ignited a flame within her. With her legs still wrapped around him he pulled her sundress over her head, tossing it on the floor as he carried her to his room and laying her down on the bed. his hand reaching around unhooking her bra, tossing it across the room, lips crashing against hers as his hand gently kneaded her breast.

She knew in the back of her mind this wasn't a good idea, but the need to be touched, to feel the pleasure was overpowering. She reached up yanking his shirt off, her fingers caressing the ripples of his muscular chest. His breath hitching in his throat as she reached down palming his stiff length.  His lips trailed down her neck, his lips leaving a trail of fire in their wake. His tongue swirled each of her pink buds, giving each attention before making his way down her stomach to her hips. Ellies breathing picked up in anticipation as to what she so badly wanted, needed to happen next. His dark eyes met her lust blown ones as telling him all he needed to know, he hooked his fingers in her lace panties and slowly slid them down her legs.

He settled between her legs, slowly slid his fingers between her slick folds, moaning in Appreciation at just how soaked she was for him. The rumble of his voice and the feeling of his breath against her skin making the anticipation un bearable. Her mind told her no, to stop before it went any further, but her body said differently. She needed it, she wanted to feel his mouth on her, to feel his calloused hands all over her. “c colt, please.” She whimpered, trying to push herself closer to him, begging for him to end her misery. A smirk spread across his lips as he placed open mouth kisses against her sensitive skin.

He jutted his tongue swirling against her bundle of nerves. She let out a loud moan at the sensation, as he skillfully worked his  against her clit, watching her chest rise and fall with hooded eyes as she neared her climax. He slowly slid two fingers into her, pumping them in and out, watching her come apart under his touch.  She threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer, her legs began to shake as she cried out his name,he quickly pulled out his fingers, replacing them with his tongue as she came, him taking everything she gave.

Ellie laid there trying to catch her breath. It was everything she needed yet not enough,  she needed more, she needed him. “Colt. Please.” she panted. He stood wiping his mouth, he knew what she wanted, he wanted it to, but he wanted to hear her say it, no he needed her to say it.  “What do you want Eliana. Tell me what you need.” His voice deep and sexy, it made her body ache, and hearing him say her name turned her on even more. “I want you Colt. I need to feel you inside of me.”

I0n one fluid motion he stripped his shorts and underwear down, joining her on the bed. His mouth claiming hers as he settled on top of her. He reached between her thighs pumping his thick long length, teasing her with the tip. “Colt. Please.” she begged. He sunk into her slowly with a low groan resting his head in her forehead. She felt amazing, maybe even better then he remembered.  Ellie sucked in a sharp breath as he stretched her in ways she dreamed about for 6 years.

He began to rock into her starting off slow, allowing her body to relax. His lips softly sucking on the spot of her neck that he knew drove her crazy. He began to pick up the pace, the need to hear her scream his name, to make her come undone becoming to great. He settled on his knees pulling her legs up lifting  her slightly off the bed as she wrapped them around him allowing deeper access. “F. F fuck colt, yes.” she moaned as he bucked wildly against her, he lifted her up their bodies pressed against each other as she matched his thrust. He could feel her walls flutter around him, she was close and he wanted to blow her mind.

His fingers slipped down between her legs as he rubbed tight circles against her still sensitive clit. She buried her head into his shoulder, her arms wrapped tightly around him nails digging crescents into his back as her body began to shake. “Let me hear you Ellie. Let go, I got you.” He moaned into her ear “Oh Colt, yes. Don't stop. Don't stop.”

His name flew off her lips like a matera as the coil snapped, her body shook as she gave into an intense orgasm, her juices flooding his cock. The sensation to much to bare, he pumped hard twice before giving into his own release with a loud grunt. They collapsed into a sweaty heap onto the bed.  

They laid their entwined with each other, neither wanting to move, both in fear that if they did they would lose the moment forever. Ellie knew she shouldn't have given into temptation, but at least this way they got a proper goodbye. “Colt.” she broke the silence, “this doesn't change anything. We can't-”

“Just let us have tonight Ellie.” He cut her off, knowing this wasn't going to change her mind. “Tonight.” She whispered as her lips found his again.

Permatag

@kennaxval @hopefulmoonobject @crookedslimecreatorpasta @be-still-my-aching-heart @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @riseandshinelittleblossom @cocomaxley @bobasheebaby @ownworldresident @cordoniaqueensworld @indiacater @blackcatkita @darley1101 @hazah

ROD

@daniv2278 @brightpinkpeppercorn @lovehugsandcandy @going-down-downtown @mercyparkcrew @emichelle @annekebbphotography @powdesiree0816 @walkerismychoice @yesivefallenpreytothechoicestrap @zaira-oh-zaira @sweetest-marbear @simsvetements @zaffrenotes @professorortegasstudent @akrenich @ifyouseekheart @client-327 @choicelogansbitch @choicesarehard @paisleylovergirl @itskismetbb @itsmarleen @rhischoicesfanfics @distinguishedsaladoperawinner @iplaydrake @coffeebeandream @jasidu2

#trr fanfic #fast cars and freedom rod au #choices ride or die: a bad boy romance #choices ride or die #ride or die bad boy romance #logan x ellie #colt x ellie #rod colt #colt kaneko #logan rod #riya rod #darius rod

[idiotashton]

angels

Pairing: 5SOS x Reader (platonic)

Word Count: a lil over 3k

Warnings: a couple curse words, backstory no one asked for, cuteness?

Request: “you’re the boys’ best friend and you see snow for the first time. If it’s not too much of a bother do you think you Could you please write a little something about that??” • 5saucewho

A/N: I think it’s fair to say I cannot do short and sweet. I just really love a backstory, what can I say? This is my first request, so thank you for letting me try and write this. Hopefully, I did it justice and it doesn’t suck. Apologies for any and all spelling/grammar mistakes. Feedback is encouraged!

—————————————————————

The beach you’re sitting on is stunning. The sun is warm, but not hot, and the water is cool, but not freezing. It’s perfect. You’re in a navy bikini, a pair of sunglasses perched on your nose, and a frozen daiquiri in your right hand. You lean your head back, bathing in the sunshine. It’s absolutely heaven on Earth.

You feel rather than see someone sit down next to you in the sand. You glance over and then you do a double take. It’s... Bradley Cooper? That can’t be right. You sit up a little straighter and look around the empty beach. He’s fully dressed and leaning back on his hands.

“Um, excuse me?” You ask, your voice a little shaky. He languidly turns his head towards you, grinning.

He just raises his eyebrows, silently asking you to continue.

You look around the beach again, looking for where he could’ve come from, but there’s nothing for miles.

You lower your sunglasses a little, looking at him over the brim. “I don’t mean to be rude, but are you lost?” Then it’s his turn to look confused.

“We came to together, Y/N. Don’t you remember? We’re on vacation together.” He sits up and turns his body towards you.

“Y/N? Don’t your remember?”

That can’t be right. You’d certainly remember if you had gone on vacation with Bradley Cooper. Wouldn’t you?

“Don’t you remember, Y/N?” He reaches out, shaking your shoulder.

“Come on, Y/N! You don’t remember, Y/N? Y/N! Wake up, Y/N!” He’s shaking you harder now and his voice is no longer his voice. It’s younger, accented, more familiar. Is that...?

—————————————————————

You jolt up and immediately hit your head on the bunk above you. You groan, face twisting in pain. You rub your forehead, which is now throbbing in pain.

You hear a hiss next to you before soft giggling. You turn and see Luke’s face, grinning, still soft from sleep.

“Sorry, Y/N!” He reaches his hand out, rubbing it over your forehead. “I was trying to wake you up for, like, five minutes. I shouldn’t of shook you so hard. My bad, babe.”

The throbbing starts to subside and you gently push his hand away. “It’s fine, Lu. It’s fine.” You pick up your phone, checking the time, only to see it’s 4:30 in the morning. You’re wide awake now.

“What’s wrong? Is everything okay? Did the bus break down?”

He shakes his head, laughing. “Nah, nothin’ like that. It’s just... you have to see this!” He grabs the sleeve of your sweatshirt, tugging slightly. “Come on!”

Rolling your eyes, you pick up your phone, sliding out of your bunk. You’re barely upright before Luke is shoving clothes into your hands. Looking down, you see he’s given you a pair of jeans, a jacket, a pair of wool socks and a beanie.

“What are these for?” You’re so confused. It takes you a solid hour and a half to wake up every morning and, most importantly, copious amounts of coffee. Not to mention you were on a beach with Bradley Cooper not even five minutes ago.

Luke doesn’t answer; he just pushes you backwards gently, towards the room at the back of the bus. “Just put them on, okay? You’re gonna wanna see this.” He gives you a cheeky wink before shutting the door, giving you some privacy.

You roll your eyes, setting the clothes on the couch. You wiggle out of your shorts, folding them roughly, setting them off to the side. You pull on your jeans, zipping and fastening them before pulling the jacket over your shoulders.

As you sit down to pull your socks on, you start to wonder what all the weirdness is about. You’ve been friends with the guys for a little over a year now. They needed an assistant when their old one, Shannon, went on maternity leave and then, when her little boy was born, she decided she wanted to be a full time mom. They were all super supportive, but they were about to head out on a press tour and they needed someone quick.

Someone in their record label recommended you for the job and they offered you the position without even asking to look at your résumé. You really needed to the money after getting fired from your last assisting job. You don’t really count it as being fired since the lady who fired you claimed it was attempted murder. Apparently, she was ‘lactose intolerant’ and you had tried to ‘poison her’ by putting too much creamer in her coffee. Just to be clear, she wasn’t lactose intolerant when she asked you to buy her a venti latte the day before, but hey! You’re just the assistant. What do you know?

So, you accepted the job, which literally started the next day. So you packed a bag and met them at the airport the next morning. That’s where you met four sleepy boys who were in desperate need of structure.

It took you all a couple months to find your footing, but once you did, it was easy. They weren’t spoiled or ignorant or demanding or douches just because they could be. They were nice and funny and smart and they genuinely enjoyed what they were doing. That kind of passion is contagious. You wanted to make their lives easier, in any aspect that you could, so they could focus on channeling that passion into someone great. So you became the best damn assistant you could be. Slowly, you found yourself becoming more invested in their lives.

Cal would complain about missing his dog, so you would google where the nearest animal shelter was and take him on his day off, so he could pet some dogs. They weren’t Duke, but they would do. He would stay there for hours, talking in hushed whispers about how they’d all love his little man. Ash would always be super sore after a show, usually sleeping super late to try and rest up his body. You noticed it really effected his mental state, causing him to be grumpy and withdrawn. So you would make sure he had a massage first thing the next morning after a show; finding that a deep tissue massage really helps the aches and his attitude. Instead of showing up late to soundcheck, he started showing up early, with donuts for the whole crew. He was a new man, a happier man.

Luke was a food guy which was always a tough problem to solve. He would get these odd cravings throughout tour. He’d get a craving for ‘some BBQ he had once in Texas at that place’ and you would struggle to find anything close to Texas BBQ in Italy. You never got exactly what he wanted but you would get close enough to make him happy. He’d sit there, pants unbuttoned, a dazed smile on his face, hand rubbing his stomach. “You look like Shaggy after a really good sandwich,” you’d said once. He just laughed and nodded. “Well, Y/N, it was a pretty damn good sandwich.”

Mike was always the toughest one to understand. He wasn’t cold to you, but he wasn’t exactly vocal about what he wanted or what he needed. Usually deciding to solve his own problems. His girlfriend and his dog were with him most of the time, so that was never an issue. You would kind of just let him do his thing and made sure he knew you were there if he needed anything.

It was one night when you heard him say something about wanting his parents to come to their show in New York, considering it was the night before his birthday, but they had just come out to their show in London a few weeks earlier. He didn’t want them to make do that kind of traveling again. His dad wasn’t really a keen flyer. You knew Mikey was too proud to ask, so you asked his girl for his mom’s number and decided to just ask. If they couldn’t come, no problem, but you don’t know until you ask.

The look on Mike’s face when his parents walked into their soundcheck, with balloons and a cupcake with a lit candle on top, was priceless. He was immediately running over to them, not even bothering to put down his guitar, hugging each of them tightly, exclaiming how happy he was they were there. You just grinned, walking backstage, letting them have their moment.

You didn’t think he’d show up at your hotel room door, a take out container in his hand. He just looked at you for a minute, the silence making your ears ring. He just handed you the container.

“It’s cake. From the restaurant.” You nod, popping it open, only to see the most decadent piece of chocolate cake you’d ever seen.

“Wow. That looks delicious. Thank you, Mike.” You look up at him only to see him looking down at his red sneakers. You tilt your head, sensing he wants to say something.

“I should really be thanking you.” His eyes meet yours and you just give him a soft grin.

“It’s fine, Mike. It’s my job.” You shrug and let your toes drag over the hardwood floor just inside the door.

“That’s the thing though, Y/N. It’s not. It’s not your job.” His voice is loud in the quiet of the hallway, especially at this time of night. “Your job is to make sure we show up at the right places and at the right times or to make sure we’re treated fairly or make sure we eat healthy food once in a while and we don’t murder each other. Nowhere in the contract does it say you have to help us do these little things to make sure we’re content and happy and...appreciated. Listened to.”

He shrugs, an unfocused look on his face. “You’re the greatest assistant we’ve ever had.” You let your eyes drop to the horrible patterned carpet of the hallway, cheeks blushing at the compliment. “And you’re an even better friend.”

Your eyes shoot up to his, surprise written all over your face. He’s got this grin on his face, that’s a little bit smirk-y and a little bit smiley. A smile slowly spreads across your lips and, before you can help yourself, you’re launching yourself at him. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, squeezing him tight in a hug. After a beat, you pull away, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. “Thanks. For the cake. Chocolate’s my favorite, so... it’s perfect.”

“Of course, of course.” He starts walking backwards down the hallway toward his room. “See ya in the mornin’, Y/N.”

“Yeah, see ya.” You give him a small wave, leaning against the door frame. “Happy birthday, Mike.” He grins and gives you an exaggerated curtsy. Your laugh fills the hallway.

You’re still deep in your memories when Cal throws open the door. “Yo! Y/N! Let’s go!” He throws a pair of your boots at you. You barely catch them before they hit your face. You give Cal a dark look, silently reprimanding him for tossing you your boots so roughly.

He just gives you a big, cheesy grin before pulling his head out of the door and shutting it. You huff and pull on your boots quickly, not wanting to keep the guys waiting. You stand up, grabbing your beanie before opening the door, and working your way up to the front of the bus where the guys are huddled together.

“So, what’s all this about?” They all turn to you, excitement written on all their faces. You give them all weird looks as you pull your beanie over your bed head.

No one answers you, but Ash walks behind you and covers your eyes with his hands. “What the h-?”

You instinctively try to pull your face away from his hands but he keeps them firm over your eyes. “No, no, no. Keep ‘em covered. Trust us.” Ash’s voice is close to your ear and you try to relax.

Giving up control was never easy for you, but they all seem so excited, you figure you’re gonna at least try. You hold up your hands in surrender.

“Okay, okay.” You take a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”

They cheer and clap before Ash is shuffling you forward, little by little. It takes you both a few minutes to make it to the bus door. You hear it slide open and you’re hit was a burst of cold air. You shiver and lean back into Ashton. “Jesus,” You mutter under your breath.

“Okay, Y/N. Mike is right in front of you. Take his hand and he’ll help you down the stairs.” You blindly reach out for Mike’s hand, finding it fast and gripping it tightly.

“You drop me, Michael, and I will drop you.” Your voice nervous, but serious.

He chuckles before picking up your other hand. “I gotcha, love, don’t worry.” You know there’s five steps off the bus, but you still hesitate before taking the first step.

“It’s fine, Y/N,” Ash’s voice is soft in your ear, “You have Luke, Cal and Mike who will catch you if you trip. Promise.”

You take a deep breath before letting your foot drop to the first step, feeling your hands get a little sweaty in Mike’s grip.

You work your way down the rest of the steps as carefully as you can. When your feet hit solid ground, you breathe a sigh of relief. “Okay, I survived that horror. Now what?”

Suddenly, Ash’s hands are gone and it takes a second for you to pull your eyes open. When you do, you gasp and cover you mouth.

The boys are standing in front of you, hands in their pockets, sleep still in their eyes, and snow is falling all around them.

You look up to the sky, stepping out from under the overhang of the bus, and watch the snowflakes flurry around the sky.

It’s crunching under your boots and you look around at the sudden white powder covering everything.

“It’s beautiful, oh my god.” You keep your voice soft, afraid to disturb the peacefulness of it all. You hold your hands out, palms up, and spin slowly in a circle, watching it fall steadily from the dark sky.

Luke’s voice breaks your reverie. “We remember you saying you’d never see snow in person, so when I woke up to pee and I saw it coming down pretty hard, I had Randy pull over so you could see it.” You look over at the four of them, eyes teary and mouth agape.

“You remember that? I don’t even remember when I told you that.” Cal shrugs, his favorite beanie pull down over his ears, and shoots you a smile. “Of course we remember that.” You feel your face heat up, a sure sign that you’re gonna cry.

It’s not the most beautiful place ever; just the shoulder of some highway, somewhere in middle of...North Carolina? Maybe South Carolina? You don’t know for sure, but with how quiet it is and the snow falling and the four boys standing around you, you could not be happier.

You’d grown up in California your whole life and it wasn’t until you were in college at UCLA that you realized you’d never seen snow. Literally never.

It was late November and you had been talking to your roommate, Lauren, who was from Colorado, talk about the foot of snow they had gotten back home. She said, “Holy shit, that’s the most we’ve ever gotten in November. We usually get something like that closer to Christmas. Can you imagine?” You just shook you head, saying you can’t even imagine an inch of snow. That’s when you realized you’d seemed to have missed on a major part of life.

Even with your job with the band and the multiple countries you’d visit, you’d never seen snow. Granted, the tour had started in late July, so snow hadn’t really been on the forecast up until now, but still.

You’re amazed these four guys, with so much stuff on their plate and how much they have to deal with and think about on a daily basis, remembered this little detail about your life.

You wipe at the tears that have dropped down your face. “That’s really n-nice,” is all you say, voice cracking a little from holding back your tears.

“Aw, Y/N.” It’s like they all say in unison before walking over to you and wrapping their arms around you in a big group hug. That’s what causes you to break your facade and, suddenly, you’re crying into someone’s shoulder. There’s a hand rubbing circles on your back and it’s so utterly comforting. To be surrounded by people who love you entirely. It’s such a wholesome experience.

You pull away and wipe the dampness away from your eyes. You give them a grin and look back up at the sky, the snow still falling fast.

“This is the best thing I have ever seen.” You look back from the sky to meet all their eyes, all bright and happy, grins painting their faces.

“Thank you, guys. Truly. You made my life.” You beam, as Luke reaches forward, brushing snow out of your hair. You laugh, shaking the hair sticking out of the beanie to get rid of the rest of the snow.

Looking back around, you have an idea. You’re eyes are mischievous as you look at each boy. “How much time do we have before we have to leave?” Mike looks a little worried, but he answers, “Randy said no more than a half hour or we won’t get to the hotel in time.”

You nod, hands on your hips. “Okay. I can work with that.” They boys share a nervous look. “Is this... the part where you murder us, Y/N?” Cal asks, taking a slow step backwards, as if to get a head start.

You smirk, walking towards them slowly. They part as you get close, Ash letting out a girlish screech and covering his head. “Please, Y/N! We have so much to live for! Think of the fans!”

And the you’re laughing, loud and happy as you break into a jog towards the field sitting next to the highway.

“Come on, you weirdos. We got maybe ten minutes max to make the best goddamn snow angels. Ever.” You tell, grinning as you turn away from them, trying to find the best spot for your first snow angel.

The four of them exchange glances, smiles slowly finding their lips, before they give shouts of excitement, as they start after you. As you watch them run towards you, laughing and playfully shoving each other, you realize, very suddenly, that you hope you have these four men following behind you for the rest of your life.

#calum hood #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #michael clifford #5 seconds of summer #5sos #luke hemmings x reader #calum hood x reader #ashton irwin x reader #michael clifford x reader #5sos x reader #drabble #blurb #imagine #one shot #luke hemmings imagine #ashton irwin imagine #calum hood imagine #michael clifford imagine #5sos imagine #my writing #request #5saucewho

[lovemesomesurveys]

England

Do you like to drink tea? Every now and then I’ll be in the mood for some. 

Do you like to put sugar in your tea? Yes.

Have you ever explored an ancient castle? Nope.

If you’re a Christian, are you Catholic or Protestant? Protestant.

Do you live in a big house? No. I live in a 2 bedroom duplex.

Are there a lot of seagulls where you live? Not in my city, but in the beachy cities nearby.

Do you have a garden? No.

Name something you own with the British flag on it. Nothing.

What’s your favorite part of London? I’ve never been, but I’d love to go.

If you’ve been to England, what was your favorite city you’ve visited? Never been to any, but there’s a few I’d love to visit. 

If applicable, what is/was your favorite store in London?

Have you ever been lost in London?

Would you say your personality is British? Do you think you’d fit in there? What is a British personality like?

Do you have English ancestors, or are you from England? No.

Ireland

What is one of your favorite celtic songs? I don’t listen to Celtic music.

Do you have red hair? No, I’m not a natural redhead. I do dye my hair red, though.

Are you Irish? I have some Irish. I’d really like to do one of those DNA kits and see exactly what I am.

Name 5 redheads that you know. Just one of my cousins.

Who in your family is/was a redhead? The cousin I just mentioned.

If you’ve been to Ireland, what was your favorite city you visited? Never been. 

Did you have any bad experiences in Ireland?

Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? All we do is have corned beef and cabbage for dinner. 

Do you like Irish food? I like potatoes? Sorry, I don’t know was “Irish food” is. <<< Same. I don’t know what else is considered Irish food. Oh wait, corned beef and cabbage as well. 

What’s one thing you like about ancient cathedrals? The stained glass.  <<< That, and the architecture is really beautiful. 

Do you like rolling hills of green? All that comes to mind is the Sound of Music, ha.

Do you like bagpipes? Not really.

If you’re Irish, what part of Ireland is your family from?

Do you like English accents or Irish accents better? English.

China

What is your Chinese zodiac sign? Do you like it? Do you feel it fits your personality? I don’t know.

Do you like your American zodiac sign or Chinese zodiac sign better? I don’t believe in that stuff, so I don’t care.

Do you like Chinese food? I like just a few things such as egg rolls, pot stickers, chow mien, crab rangoon. I used to love orange chicken and kung pao chicken, but I can’t eat spicy stuff anymore. :( I rarely eat Chinese food at all anymore

List three of your favorite Chinese foods. ^^^ Are you familiar with the topic of footbinding? Yes.

What are your favorite books about the Chinese? I don’t have one. Do you know anyone Chinese? Yes.

Who is your favorite Chinese youtuber? I don’t have one.

Have you ever cooked Chinese food at home? No.

Are you familiar with the Great Chinese Famine? I don’t think so.

Do you wish your school would teach you about other countries’ history? It did. 

Would you ever want to go to China? Maybe.

Do you have any Chinese in your family? No.

Japan

Do you like sushi? If so, what are your favorite kinds? No.

What is your favorite manga series? I don’t read manga.

Do you love Japanese street fashion? I’m not sure what that is.

What color hair would you have as an anime character? Red.

Are you aware of the struggles of Japanese Americans during World War 2? Yes.

What is your favorite Japanese name? I don’t have one.

Do you like bonsai trees? Sure.

What’s one thing you think Americans should adopt from the Japanese? I don’t know.

Have you ever listened to Jpop? No.

Do you like Hello Kitty? Sure. I had a big Hello Kitty phase as a kid.

What is something you want to know about the Japanese? I don’t know.

Do you know anyone who’s Japanese? Yes.

Would you ever want to go to Japan? Sure.

Australia

Do you have blonde hair? Nope.

Do you live near a beach? I do.

Do you surf? No.

Who is your favorite Australian youtuber? I don’t watch any Australian YouTubers. 

Do you watch The Norris Nuts? Nope, never even heard of it.

Who is your favorite Australian fictional character? I don’t have one. I don’t think I know of any. What is your favorite song by Hillsong? Not familiar with them.

Have you ever tried to surf? No.

Do you skateboard? No.

Have you ever been on an island? No.

Do you live on an island? No.

Do you like Australian accents or British accents better? British.

Have you ever heard the term, “Crikey, mate!” Yes.

Have you ever met anyone from Australia? No.

Africa

Do you know anyone from Africa? No.

Are you familiar with the War on Sudan? I am not.

Do you own an Invisible Children shirt? No, but I’m familiar with the organization.

Have you been to Africa? No. I don’t travel a lot if you haven’t caught on to that, yet. Especially not out of the country. 

What’s your favorite wild animal? Giraffes.

Do you prefer dancing or drumming? Bobbing slightly. <<< Haaa, same.

Do you have good rhythm? I think I can bob along to the beat pretty good, ha.

Would you ever want to go to Africa? I’d love to visit Giraffe Manor.

What is a great African song? I’m not familiar with any.

Have you ever tried African dancing? No.

Do you own any African jewelry? No.

Ever danced to “Waka Waka”? No, but I know the song.

What’s the furthest you’ve ever walked in one day? A friend and I went all over San Francisco.

Do you live in a mud hut? No.

Mexico

List 3 of your favorite Mexican foods. Burritos, tacos, and chorizo. 

List 3 Mexican names you like. Isabel, Rosa, and Luna. 

List 3 people you know who are Mexican. A lot of my family.

Have you ever been to Mexico? Yes. Hey, there’s somewhere I’ve actually been! lol.

Would you ever want to go to Mexico? I’d go back.

Do you think you could handle being around people all the time? Nope.

Do you like spicy food? I loved spicy food, but I can’t have it anymore. :(

How do you do with crowds? Not well. I get very anxious and overwhelmed. 

Is it hot where you live? Ugh yeah. California summers are long and awful.

Do you like bright colors? Yeah.

Can you speak Spanish? Very little. I’d like to start practicing again.

Have you ever been to a fiesta? Yeah.

Ever smacked a pinata? Yep.

What’s your favorite thing to order at Taco Bell? Taco Bell gets dragged for not being authentic Mexican food, but I still like it so whatever. Anyway, I get a bean burrito with no onions, extra sauce, and extra cheese with sour cream and guac on the side and perhaps a couple Doritos tacos.

The Middle East

Are you Muslim? No.

Do you know any Muslims? No.

Do you know anyone who wears hijab? No.

What are some of your favorite books about Muslims? I don’t have one.

Ever been to a desert? I’ve been to Arizona.

Would you want to ride a camel? No.

Did you watch the show Legends of the Hidden Temple? Yeah.

Korea

Have you read To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before? Have you seen the movie? Nope. The movie got a lot of hype, but eh.

Did you know that North Korea is closed? Yeah.

Would you ever want to visit South Korea? I don’t know.

Have you ever had Korean food? No.

South America

Have you read The Spirit of the Rainforest? No.

Name one fact you know about Venezuela. Ummm.

Do you know anyone who lives in Peru? Nope.

Have you ever tried Peruvian food or drink? No.

Have you ever been to South America? No.

Do you know anyone from Brazil? No.

Would you ever want to visit South America? Yeah.

Name someone you know who owns llamas. I don’t know anyone who owns llamas. 

Do you like llamas? Sure.

Have you ever sewn on a loom? No.

Do you own a skirt from Guetamala? No.

Do you ever wonder why we don’t hear much about South America? If you’re interested in hearing more you can easily look stuff up.

Thailand

Do you like elephants? Yes.

WOuld you ever be brave enough to try walking on stilts? I couldn’t.

Do you know about sex trafficking in Thailand? Yes. It happens in a lot of places. :(

Do you like Thai food? Never had it.

Do you know anyone who’s Thai? No.

United States

If you live in the US, which state do you live in? California.

Which states have you visited? Arizona, Idaho, and Georgia.

Which states have you lived in? Just California. 

Have you ever been to Washington D.C? No.

What is your favorite American food? Chicken tenders and fries.

Do you listen to popular music? Yeah.

Do you dream of having two kids and maybe a dog? Yes to the dog. I’ll always have a dog(s).

…and living in a two-story house with a white picket fence? I’d love a two story with a balcony.

…and having a good job and saving for retirement? That would be nice.

….where you can retire to Florida and live on the beach? Not Florida specifically, but yeah I’d love to own a beach home. 

Did you go to college? If so, what was your major? Yes, I majored in psych.

Were you abused by your parents? No. Why is this under the US category?

Do you know any nice people? Uh, yes. I know a lot of nice people.

How often do you bbq? My dad used to BBQ all the time during the summer, but that fizzled out over the years. We used to have a lot of family get togethers/BBQs when I was younger as well.

What’s your favorite ride at Cedar Point? Never been.

Other

What’s the best family vacation you’ve been on? Disneyland trips, beach trips, and the trip my mom and a few of my aunts, uncles, and cousins took to visit my grandpa in Idaho.

What countries have you visited? Just Mexico.

What countries do you want to visit? That’s a long list. 

Have you ever been to NYC? No, but I’d love to go.

Do you live in a big city, small town, or other? Big city.

Do you live in the city or country? City.

What is your favorite country besides your own? There’s several European countries I’d love to visit. 

What country do you live in? US.

What is your ancestry? I want to do one of those tests to find out exactly.

Are you happy with the American government? Let’s not get into politics.

What currency do you use? USD.

Do you think you have an accent? We all do apparently, but it’s weird to think of me, just a gal from California, having an accent. It’s not recognizable or distinct like others. No one would hear me talk and think, “She’s probably from California”, ya know?

Have you ever been told you have an accent? No.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[krisyyydvd]

It’s been a ride 2021!

The year is about to end and as I have done in the past three years, I will now tell you about how my whole year has been! Is it me or just my memory has been forgetful lately, when I think about it, I seem to forget how it entirely went each month. So I had to honestly check my gallery to keep up. So here we go! It's obvious that I welcomed the year with a happy heart. Despite the pandemic, I was able to find love and experience all the good things that came with it. Though, it's not all pros. I learned how hard it is to fall from a cloud 9 and to build something intangible but it's the basis of all things. I almost thought that maybe this wasn't for me, it's all about choice and I decided to try again and "glow so bright until the darkness softly clears". The month of love came, unlike any other Valentine before, I can now say that I got the best of it! CDC became my fave place of the year, it's a space to gather, sit down with someone, enjoy my cup of french vanilla while embracing the cool breeze at night. Since I was really looking for a cold windy place, My Family and I went to Tagaytay in March! Indeed, it's like you are in a Signal number 3 storm but without any rain, just cold winds. It was exactly what we're looking for! This is the month my bbq and I started going to places that we've never been to, we went to Lubao bamboo hub! April came,  where we experienced what we are just seeing on the TV. A family member tested positive on Covid. We were on lockdown, we can't set a foot outside of our doorstep. Thankfully, all of us are safe. Realizing that there's a lot of people who care about us too. So when we finally reached May, we celebrated my mom's 61st birthday and invited many people who helped us along the way. This is the month that bbq and I went to Sunflower farm, we have no one to take a pic of us, so we must find a DIY photographer haha. My Fam decided to go to iCove Subic, my first beach this year! Time to flaunt my excess fats again! I went there with pink hair and went home with corn-like hair. While I'm typing this right now, I realized that I've been everywhere! Good Lord, thank you for keeping me safe. June came, this is the month that I have exhausted all the Brilliant available in our house. Since it's still summer, my co-works decided to go to Baloy, Subic. It's the first time that I went to the beach with my workmates and my bb. Then after a week, my fam suddenly decided to Pangasinan! It was lovely that I had an afterthought if what is my life if I decided to settle there haha, effects of watching too many Isla life vlogs. Then my birthday came, after all those exposed to the sun, I'm not so sure about how I look haha, I celebrated with loved ones and had a blast! Time passed by, I got so excited for my bb's bday so August came like a flash. The surprise became successful thanks to his Family! Though he kept on knowing about it, ugh not a good planner I guess. Cold winds started to some again as Ber months is approaching! We decorated our house the moment September came. Just so you know, this is the month when my Dad trusted me to bring the car on my own! It's more like I snuck it once, then I went home safe. So since that day, I am so proud of myself for my driving skills! I went to a lot of cafes with friends. But I don't credit myself for parking. I also joined a Real Estate group, at first it was just for the experience but then I got along with the people there and somewhat loving what I'm doing now It's not always rainbows and butterflies, my dear friend left for Canada. I felt alone for a while, all of my one-call-away friends are not here anymore. I was the one who's always left behind. Unchanging. Then I lost my job in November. This challenged me mentally and financially. I remember asking my friend to take me out because I can't face my family. But my family said that it was okay and I need to take a break. My whole month has been very spontaneous, I'm always outside having fun, I'm barely at home. So I think that whole month went like a flash! All of the blessings showered in December, I reunited with my friends and I got a new job with very kind workmates, I had a very memorable 1st Anniversary with my love, had a splendid Christmas, went to Tagaytay and Enchanted Kingdom with friends and I sold a house in RealTour!  All of these are possible because of the people who helped me along the way and God never left my side even when I lost my way. Here I am writing, 3 days before we welcome 2022, my heart is full of gratitude. I'm realizing how blessed I am and that everything really happens for a reason. 2021 has been a year of challenge, travel, and full of discoveries about what I can do more. I'm so proud of this version of me, I don't know what will happen in the following years but I just wanna pat myself and say that I did great. It's been a ride 2021, I learned a lot from you and I will face 2022 with a brave heart.

[thisnerdsadventures]

a summer to remember

hello friends, i definitely just abandoned this whole blog, now didn't i

well i am happy to report that i am still alive, and am thriving!

Here's a rundown of everything that has been going on:

[inserting a readmore because this is long af]

May

So in May, I was definitely just all over the place because I was 1) trying to finish a paper published in a conference!! it literally drove me insane. anyways, then i had to go and finish a 78 page thesis, which involved a really convoluted timeline because i had to finish it ~ a week before the actual deadline so my PI could read it over, but then i had to finish it a few days before THAT so my PhD supervisors could read it over, which meant that i had like one (1) week to write like. all of it.

Luckily I had most of the first half already written, during whatever shitshow April was (April was a lot of coding for the paper, and then not having time to write my thesis). But THEN i had to organize all the data from my own personal experiments, make figures, and draft the entire results section. AND i had like two final reports to do for my class, so my last weeks of academia looked like....

Of course, the day before my thesis was due, I pulled an all nighter, because, of course. What other way would I ever end my academic career. Submitted it though, and I graduated! [LINK TO MY THESIS]

Also! I got vaccinated and felt like death for a whole day, but then my friend came over and we ate fried chicken and watched this show called Miraculous, which is a kids show from France, but for some reason is actually hilarious and really entertaining. Then I felt better, so I proceeded to work on my thesis.

Also, I guess I should talk a little bit about the class I took this semester, which was an industrial organization economics class. We looked at things like how different markets are organized, why they are that way, what market concentration means, how mergers affect competition, and what kind of effect that may impose on consumers. For the final case study (which, I will say, I wrote like 2000 words in a single day, so . applause for me), I looked at the Nvidia-ARM merger and how that may or may not affect competition in the GPU market, the CPU market, and the mobile chip market. I think my analysis was a little bit more surface level, which was fine for me, since I'm by no means an economics expert or even remotely should have any expectations at all, but I read a lot and learned a lot and that's the goal!

So yes, my brief excursion into the field of economics was overall positive, I feel like I learned a lot and now I can read financial articles about the tech industry and not be completely lost, which, again, was the goal.

But yes, May was a lot of work, and once it wrapped up, I got to spend a lot of time with friends post-vaccination! After the 1 or 2 week mark after my second dose, I started going back to the gym, especially to play basketball with folks, which I had missed a lot. I spent a lot of time at my old dorm just hanging out, and got to have a cute salmon dinner over at my other friend's place. And we made cheesecake too.

June (MA->NY->MA->CA)

I finally went to visit my best friend in New York. I hadn't seen her in > 400 days, so it was really a very anticipated event, except we saw each other across the crosswalk, but then the light took like five minutes to turn green, so it was really anticlimactic. Anyways, we ended up bumming around New York and Long Island for a week, and it was nice to spend some time with her after such a long gap.

We spent a day at a vineyard and I fell asleep so

After getting back to Boston, my mom came back from Taiwan to help me move out of my apartment. It was a lot of finding people to sell things to, sweating because it was very hot that week, and praying everything would work out (it did). I also got to have a few final meals with various friends and my mom and I got to take one last lark down the Infinite, which I was really grateful for because it was the first time visitors got to go inside campus in over a year.

Also got into my school's MBA program! Yes i applied to a deferred program (which is like you get into a program, but you don't have to go for 2-5 years, as a way of getting in right after undergrad/grad school, but then accumulating some work experience first). It was hilarious, I was literally shopping in my campus store for a new sweatshirt and I got a phone call from the admissions office saying I got in. My mom had been pushing me to apply to grad programs, and I didn't tell her about it because I didn't know if I would actually follow through. But I got to surprise her with the news, and she was so happy she did the whole "calling all the relatives" thing again.

After flying home, I told myself I'd read more and exercise more, which I have been doing. I got a membership at Planet Fitness, which has been really good for me (going 3x a week), and I've made my way through at least 5 books this summer so far. My holds list at my local library is literally insane. (For recs, I recently read Normal People, which I absolutely devoured, and In the Dream House, which hit really hard for me.)

This summer was also really about reconnecting with high school friends. All three of us were unemployed, with plans to come in the fall, so we were all free to hang out all the time. We started out at the local library planning out a road trip, and we worked out a few times together, and a few coffee dates too. We took a fun day trip down to LA one day, and we visited Malibu, went to the Getty, hit up some local food places in the city. Driving down the PCH with Taylor Swift blaring and the windows down on a hot June day, just hits so different. There is nothing like it.

My friend's birthday was in June, so we put together a little video for her and bought some jewelry, and had a Zoom call to celebrate. Then I got BBQ with some friends and sat in the parking lot eating ice cream until 11 at night just trading stories from our pasts. It felt like the perfect summer life, just staying out until whenever, grabbing food wherever we wanted, with friends I had had for literally a whole decade.

It was already a really good summer, but then July. July was crazy.

July (CA -> MI -> CA -> NV -> CA -> WA -> OR -> CA)

So one Sunday morning, I woke up to a text

Actually, I'm going to do a separate post on the whole Michigan trip because that sh** was on another level of spontaneous, impulsive, crazy life stuff. But anyways, so July started off with a trip to Michigan to visit my friends, and then I came back for the 4th, had 36 hours of rest before my high school friends and I went on a road trip.

This road trip was a little ambitious. We hit spots all up California, from hiking in Sequoia Nat'l Park to Kings Canyon, driving up to Sacramento and visiting art museums, and then going up to Tahoe but staying in Nevada, going kayaking and hiking and sitting on the beach for hours. It was reallllllly hot, but luckily I don't think it ever broke 90 degrees. The views were beautiful, especially at Kings Canyon. The drive in, you're surrounded by huge rock walls, with a thin river rushing by next to you. The hike itself literally feels like you're in nature, like the trail is somewhat defined but not paved, there are no sounds of traffic, the path isn't heavily trafficked so we were the only ones there for the most part. We even saw a deer and washed our faces in the river. Throughout the whole thing, we climbed into so many waterfalls, trying not to slip on rocks.

I hadn't been to Sacramento in over a decade, but it was a cute day trip. There isn't a ton to do there, but it was a nice reprieve from the constant driving and nature. We visited the Leland Stanford Mansion, the Crocker Art Museum, and Old Town Sacramento. A good chance to get a nice coffee, a sit-down meal, and some air conditioning. At Tahoe, we went kayaking on Pope Beach, with the clearest water I have ever seen, followed up by a hike up to a beautiful view of the Lake.

On our way back, we stopped at a lot of interesting places, like small towns like Lee Vining, where we found an Upside Down House; Manzanar, the site of an old Japanese internment camp during the WWII era (which also hit hard); and Randsburg, a literal living ghost town. Overall, getting to travel with my friends finally was so fun, they were so much fun to be around for five days, and getting to explore so much of California was so fun - even though I'd been here for so long, I never knew these places existed.

So I came back and had around 48 hours to recover before my mom and I took a trip up to the Pacific Northwest!

I've always wanted to visit Seattle, and figured I'd hit Portland on the way too. We originally wanted to go to Hawaii but it got so expensive by the middle of the summer, so we decided to stay a little closer to home (probs the better decision bc I was already so tired by this point).

Seattle! Got to visit Pike Place Market many times, grab some coffee at the original Starbucks, see Mt. Rainier, and grab food with three friends! Also went to Bainbridge Island for a day which was SO cute - got to do an olive oil/balsamic vinegar tasting, which sounds so extra, but is actually really unexpectedly fun. At Starbs, I did a cold brew flight, which resulted in a rough night of tossing and turning for me, but I think it was worth it. Other things included the Pinball Museum, Space Needle, and Chihuly Glass Museum!

So I lowkey really wanted to visit Portland because I wanted to achieve a long-lasting dream of seeing an NWSL game in person. So I went to the Thorns Pride game!!

The Thorns fanbase is actually insane, I cannot express to you, like there's this whole fan section that actually did synchronized cheers and routines and was actually ROARING when they scored the entire game. I swear the audience was actually watching them at points instead of the match. Overall, the stadium was going crazy, like I thought I was at a tied Celtics-Bucks game with how loud it was in there. Also I swear, Ali Krieger made eye contact with me and waved.

In addition to that, Portland also has a huge rose garden, a nice Japanese tea garden, a lot of good donut stores and a huge bookstore, so all very up my alley. We also took a day trip to see Mt. Hood and more waterfalls!!

That's a summary of the SEA - PDX trip. Once I got home, my high school friends and I did not waste any time on reuniting to hang out - we went and played ball, grabbed lunch, and then coffee, and then did the same exact thing like two days later and watched a bunch of TikToks, and then spent a whole day at the beach to send my good friend off to medical school in Arizona. They somehow convinced me to go in the water and I got body checked by a wave.

Saw this sculpture on the beach and teared up a little

So proud of my friends for making it to med school, I am so excited to see them at their white coat ceremonies and beyond, I swear I will cry at every step of the way I'm so happy for them. Now that July is pretty much over, most of my fun summer plans are too, and I finally get a chance to catch my breath from that busy busy month. Spending a lot of time watching the Olympics and trying to muster up the motivation to start a fulltime job in < 1 month!!

Overall, I feel like I've been having a really solid summer given the year that was the covid year. I had a Lot of fun, literally probably two summers worth of fun consolidated into one. I think in the beginning of the year, I really wanted this summer to be good, and I didn't have a lot of set plans for the summer, even by the end of May. But somehow, things came together, like Really together, and I had the best summer of my life in this summer 2021. On top of that, I'm reading more than I have since probably middle school, I feel the most in shape that I ever have, I can DRIVE NOW. Only thing that would've made it better was if I got to go back to Taiwan to visit the fam, but unfortunately I can't go back because of strict travel restrictions there and they had a COVID outbreak too :/ I still got around 3.5 weeks of summer to go, so we'll see how the rest goes :)

[arnold-layne]

okay okay I'M FINE I'M ALIVE!!! <3

yes!!! i liked the camping very much, even tho i had to deal with three younger cousins (one of them i knew earlier) and my brother, but it wasn't that bad!! we went to the sea through forest (i needed reconnection with nature so bad), walked in the beach and had a BBQ!! it was very very very cool!

and how it got lost? well, long story short: my dad's mom had a lot of siblings, and they simply moved around the country :) and as my dad has complicated relationship with the family, he didn't know his cousins very well...but happily we're slowly uniting one by one and it's so fun!!!

OHHHH WARM IN MOSCOW that's what we adore to hear!!!! ....buuut poor you that you had to go back and forth to the uni :( let's not discuss this topic, you deserve better!!!

yes yes yes!!! show your rockstar side, be the new Mick Jagger in the East!!!! (it's anniversary of the first The Rolking Stones' concert in the Eastern Europe!!! and it happened to be in Warsaw!! :))

tell me about your day, hun <3 (only when you wake up, if you're still not asleep i swear i'll find my way to Moscow and put you down to sleep >:(()

~🌻

P.S.

i found postcards i got from Russia while cleaning and they made me think of you!!! well, only one of them was from Moscow but still-

OKAY IM DOING IT IM FINALLY DOING ITTTT I'm so sorry it took me so long I just had a really REALLY tough week and I had absolutely no energy left for anything else but school 😔 I had a full on mental breakdown on Friday, had to skip classes because I really felt like shit. BUTTT it's finally over and I have time for myself and u ❤️

I'm so happy you liked the camping! I imagine the trees are still bare at your place? I've never been in a forest in spring or autumn, so I don't really know how it looks like. Did you get to know your cousins better? And I'm so glad your family is reuniting back again, family is very important!!! I haven't seen my relatives other than my parents in like. four years by that point. Kinda miss it.

Hahaha I'll never be as cool as jagger, but I'm gonna try 😌 it just feels so good to be a little bit more confident about your looks. I'm not confident (to put it mildly) about my appearance in general so it's a problem for me.

Today I mustered my courage and answered questions on my international relations history seminar :) the teacher is super strict and demanding and actually kinda scary in his arrogance, so I was like super scared he'd just bombard me with questions and give me a d. But I answered not quite bad, at least he accepted my answer 😄 but it was so nerve-wrecking, jeez.

And how about you? How'd you spend your week, are you having enough rest on this weekend? Tell me everything, I missed chatting with you <3

#🌻 anon

[endestprana]

Technostar

“The everchanging scenery gives this journey a new meaning altogether… A way to find the ‘fate’…”

The hollowed heart. She didn’t need to know just how much hurting had been done to her in the past months. All the bickering and snickering behind her. Everything was coming for the worse. She didn’t do anything. More like, she couldn’t do anything. All that she could do was to sit and still, covered in agony of helplessness. “If only I was born normal…”

Riko never had the nerve to purpose such ideality like “I want to change” or alike. She’s humble. Foolishly good, so great at that. All that she could do was to follow the current. No matter how much hurting she got, all she could do was to accept. Accept everything. After all, it was her fault for being too useless every day.

Looking through the album, she couldn’t even find the whole happiness she once held dearly in her broken heart. “Why do people have to lie to each other?” “If they were never fond of me, why did they chose to adopt me?” “It’s better if they’d just kill me right now…” That night, was the first time Riko thought of something she wanted to do rather than just take them all in. The torture, that is.

The night afterwards, she saw something a bit outrageous. A head was falling off from the ceiling where the big fan was supposed to be located before it also fell down altogether just now. There was never any shock burst from Riko. She was never a girl who’s bad at horror or something alike. She’d just accept them all like they’re normal, including the fact that her father’s head had just been kicked out by her mother. “You are not to tell a single soul about this, understand?” and thus Riko nodded as usual.

After a week passed without a hitch about the silent murder, a sick one at that, Riko found herself standing right behind the very mother who hissed her regarding it. She was silent all the time as the sirens were all dreading their surroundings, out in the yard of their house. The polices were eyeing, trying to figure out whether the mother of hers would try to do something funny, or should I say dangerous, before the sound of the shot echoed in the skies.

The sky was dull as usual. “Where would this road leads me to?” Riko was detached as usual. The emptiness inside her was nothing new and thus she would just look at the scenery outside the window of the car. She didn’t felt anything from it. She thought it was boring. Boring as hell. Yes, so did the journey to find her new home, too.

The new mother greeted her with a smile full of alien feeling to Riko. Also the father. There’s also a daughter in this family but she was busy so she rarely came home when the sun is still out. The police who took care of Riko simply said thanks as he handed the new mother an envelope. The new mother said he didn’t need to do that, but the police insisted. Afterwards, the police went back on car, saying final goodbye to Riko and told her to take care of herself. Riko complied like any other day. It’s not like things will be different from how the other family treated her after they knew about her circumstances.

-----

It’s almost been seventeen years since she born on this world. Maki had never been happier. The thought of living her life now as a girl who’s taken, and by a stunning beauty at that, really puts her on an invisible pedestal. Blessed with such great flows of fate, never really had to deal with something troublesome, and now also being loved by the one human she really loved the most, were just outstanding. She loved it all to the core.

She knocked on the door of her house. After a moment passed, she heard a few footsteps reaching her way. When the door was opened, she couldn’t believe her eyes. There, stood someone unknown to her. The girl with golden eyes who stared at her blankly then greeted her. “Welcome home, Maki-nee-san. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Riko. Your new sister.”

“What’s the meaning of this, Mom?!” Maki shouted at her mother who didn’t really flinch at filling the empty glass of her husband

“As Riko said herself, she’s your new sister, Maki. I know you’re really surprised by this sudden news but please calm down and listen to us first, okay?”

“Fine…” Maki mumbled, afraid of the glare she got from her father who sipped the tea as he caressed the head of her supposed to be new sister

“Maki” her mother started “You’re going to leave the house when you finally entered the college, right? Without anyone to dote on and having almost nothing to do at home, Mom find it really hard to enjoy being in the house. Thus, Riko-chan came as solution.”

“Huh?!!” Maki groaned

“Maki!” but her father seemed to do not take that opposition for sure

“But father…!!!?” Maki tried again

“Maki, let me ask you this. What is even the downside of us adopted a daughter? It’s not like we didn’t have the wealth to feed her and you altogether.” And Maki just fell silent at those words

Thus, her supposed to be happy day was dumped by the sudden move of her mother. The sound of Maki fell on the bed was loud enough, though it was intentional. She was furious at both of her parents. Yes, she knew there was nothing wrong with adopting another daughter, a beautiful one at that, but still…, telling her first would make it easier for her to take. Well, not that she minded it, though.

“Wow, Riko-chan, huh?” another voice from Maki’s phone. A conversation has been taking place after Maki finally finished taking a bath and worked her assignments

“Yeah, I will send you her picture later. To be fair, she’s quite cute, you know?”

“It’s fine for her to be cute, as long as you didn’t forget that I’m now your girlfriend, okay?” the mysterious girl on the phone seemed like she’s puffing her chest as she said those words

“Okay, Umi. Good night, then, I’m really tired from all those studies we did today. Love you!” Maki closed her phone after she heard a sound of a kiss from the phone together with a “good night” and “I love you, too”

-----

The first three days were a disaster for Riko. Not much she knew about her new older sister, but from the look of it, that very sister wasn’t quite fond of her. Well, truth to be told, not even herself was fond of herself, too. But, since there was never any downside she would take if she tried to talk to her ‘sister’, Riko tried with no so much response and attention she got. At least, not until the third day where her sister finally opened up to her and accepted her as her new family.

Riko found Maki to be quite intriguing. How her sister would always cut her hand when she tried to cook, how she would always stuttered at the mere mentions of her girlfriend, Riko found it all enigmatic yet relaxing. It was as if she found a way back to the fond feeling she thought she once had in herself. At that, Riko concluded, that it may be a good way for her to start believing in her new family. Just maybe…, maybe…, she would be able to trust again…

The days afterward were filled with more and more laughter. The family of four going out to the villa they had near a private beach. The BBQ they had on the mountain. The trip to a music gallery, which Riko found to be quite, or rather, really interesting. Riko found herself to be really liking this new family. And thus, her life afterwards were such a bliss Riko might even forgot about all the disaster that came her way back then…

After the holidays had been spend and the school terms are going to visit again, her father ought for the sisters to buy the necessities while the parents took care of the documents for the transfer. Riko smiled at the idea of her finally going to school again. After spending her life mostly being in her room, forbidden to leave, it was such a calming melody for her to claim what she had lost in her previous family. In a way, it was also the last chance for her to be together with her sister because tomorrow she’s going to live with her girlfriend together.

“So, Riko-chan, where would you like to go next?” asked Maki as she held the hand of her younger sister and also the bag of the school necessities they got before

“Anywhere is fine as long as I’m with Maki-nee!” Riko with her greatest smile answered

“You’re just too cute, Riko-chan! Well, if I had to choose, how about we go buy that parfait for you? Have you ever ate a parfait?”

“Parfait?”

“Looks like you never did. C’mon, I will choose the tastiest for you!” claimed Maki as she led their way onwards. Riko happily complied

-----

Now they sat at one of the bench together. Riko enjoyed her parfait so much as the sweetness of the strawberry fully entranced her tongue. She might like this fruit from now on. Maki, on the other hand, was busy trying to hold her laughter as she took photos of her sister and posted one on her Instagram, fully captioned “My little sister is too cute it’s too unreal!!” Maki didn’t regret that post one bit. And not so far from where they stayed, a blue haired girl was sitting there while seemingly waiting for someone to come as she looked through her Instagram. Then, the newly posted photo appeared, one from her love. It was the face of her lover’s sister who ate parfait on a bench near a place she knew too well. Surely, as she stood up from where she sat, she saw the two redhead sitting together there. The blue haired girl smiled.

Umi opened her contact as she searched for the number of the person she was waiting for as she headed to the bench where her lover is. She called the person.

“Hello, Yoshiko-chan?”

“Hello, Umi-nee, what’s up? I’m sorry I’m late but I will finish in a moment, so please wait a little longer.” Yoshiko seemingly busy finding the right accessories she wanted the other day

“Ah, no, don’t worry about that, Yoshiko-chan. You can take your time. I just wanted to tell you that I will be waiting at the usual parfait stall.”

“Thanks, Umi-nee. I will go there once I finish here.” Umi closed her phone afterwards as she silently tiptoed nearing the taller redhead “Maki” she called, tapping the girl’s shoulder which earned quite a big scream from the said girl

“U-U-U-U-U-Umi…?!!!!” shocked Maki

Umi smiled at the redhead as she also waved her hand towards the also-surprised another redhead there. The little sister bowed a bit and smile at her. Umi found it really cute, by the way. “I’m sorry, Maki. Let me help you stand.” Umi took Maki’s hand and lift her up

“Why did you do that!? Are you trying to kill me!!?” Maki, a bit pissed at her lover

“Maki, don’t get angry like that. Okay, I’m sorry. I will never do that again, okay?” Umi still held the hand of her lover

“Hmph!” was all Maki muttered, though the hand she didn’t let go, and Riko just silently smiled seeing that

-----

After a few minutes chatting there, a voice called out to Umi from not so far away. The girl with dark blue hair ran as she tried to hold tight the shopping bags she had in her hands. “Sorry I’m late, Umi-nee!!!” said Yoshiko to her cousin, seemingly unaware with the gaze she got from the other two girls.

“It is fine, Yoshiko-chan. By the way, did you get the accessories you wanted?”

“Yes, Umi-nee. By the way, may I ask who are the girls with you?” inquired Yoshiko as she pointed towards Maki and Riko

“Ah, I’m sorry. Let me introduce them, then. This one here is Maki, Nishikino Maki. She’s the girl I talked to you about just the other day. The cute little girl here is Riko. She’s Maki’s little sister. By the way, she’s going to enter the same school as you this Monday.” Umi concluded

Yoshiko bowed her head and greeted the sisters as she took a better one more look at the girl with longer hair than her older sister. The girl named Riko. Yoshiko seemed like she saw something that was strange from how this little sister conducted herself. She didn’t know what it was and delving into something too random at this point would do nothing good to herself, obviously, thus, she took down the idea instead of pursuing it.

-----

Riko thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. The purple irises in front of her which seemed so kind and full of light, it seemed like she knew those light before. However, the answer wasn’t something she could grasp at the moment. Giving up on the idea of asking, Riko opted to just enjoy the afternoon together with the three. After an hour, Umi and Yoshiko went their separate way as the Nishikino sisters went back home, Riko told her older sister she would help her packing for tomorrow. Maki smiled at that.

Tomorrow came faster than Riko expected. She couldn’t hold the tears welling her eyes as she said goodbye to her sister. She hugged her one last time before Maki went ahead to find her plane. After sending her sister off, she went back with her parent home. On the way, however, they stopped at a shop Riko didn’t know. When she asked why, her mother smiled and told her that she would need a phone for herself. Riko could only smiled at the kindness directed at her that moment. That night, Riko fiddled with her phone too much she got a light scolding from her father. Riko smiled at her father and together they went to the dining table where the mother was waiting for them.

That. That was one of the thing she never experienced back then. The warmth. The closeness. She felt it so strange yet joyful. She loved every last bit of it. Her parents, her older sister, she loved them all. They might be already people she’d gladly protect with all her life. People she’d gladly die for. People she’d love all her life. Riko realized that she’d finally found the right piece of her hollowed heart. At least, that was her thought before it wandered to this one girl she met yesterday.

That sense of familiarity. It was as if they had met in the past. However, looking back through and thorough, there was never any encounter she had with that girl. Then why? The feeling of calmness that she felt when the girl smiled fondly at her, even for a moment, was something she couldn’t forget. Not at all. That was really strange. If the emotions she felt there was real, then there might be a chance her mind did some trick on her regarding her past. After all, she didn’t remember half of her childhood. At least nothing connected to her life with her real family. Riko didn’t know why. She tried to recall those memories, but seemed no answer and revelation brought out to her. Well, no use thinking that deep, so Riko chose to focus for what’s ahead of her.

-----

Monday came. The first day of school. Sakura are blooming around the way up to the hall of her beloved school. Otonokizaka. The school where her cousin once attended before she went to America for her college. Yoshiko really loved her school. The aura, the scenery, the people around it, everything. She just couldn’t get enough of the joy she felt towards it. And then, the entrance of her class arrived in vision. “This is it, my high school debut!!!” claimed the bluehead before she realized her friends in the class was being silent suddenly. Shortly, she realized that her teacher was already behind her, wanting to get in. Embarrassed, Yoshiko hurriedly went to her designated seat. As soon as she sat and looked to the front, she caught a glance of the girl from the other day, fidgeting behind the teacher. The teacher then greeted the class before she went to tell the redhead about the seat for her. The said girl then followed the direction and sat just right beside Yoshiko.

It seemed like that girl didn’t realized that they were not only attending the same school, they were also in the same class. But well, the talk would surely happen, Yoshiko thought to herself as the introduction started from the front. She did hers well, Yoshiko mused at her capability. And then, the turn finally arrived at the redhead:

“Hello, nice to meet you all. My name is Nishikino Riko. Let’s get along well.”

#yohariko #umimaki #sakurauchi riko #tsushima yoshiko #sonoda umi #nishikino maki #love live #love live sunshine #endestwords #anon thanks for the message #i really appreciate it #let's hope this one won't get abandoned

[hillarystarbright]

I have just under 30 days before I vacate my apartment and hit the road in an RV — which I technically do not yet have.

I have given away most of my clothes, I have packed up half of my apartment, and I have organized an insane amount of schwag. I pick up some cool promotional things from just about every 5k, festival, fun run, concert and foodie event I attend, which leads to a truly astounding array of can koozies, cup coasters, hats, lighters, posters, ticket stubs, race medals, and other random accoutrements.

And don’t even get me started on my collection of cookbooks. This is maybe half of it.

I have, of course, had my mom here to help me. She was in my apartment before I was even discharged from the hospital (see previous post), and has been here since, helping me with cooking, cleaning, laundry, and all sorts of other things, while my broken back heals.

I have also had other family to come cheer me up and help out; my sister and her partner came from Texas, and my brother came from Ventura county with his wife. It has been wonderful to spend some time with them all, especially since I don’t know how much longer I’ll be around.

Aren’t we all adorable?

To make a very long story very short, my brother and I, for reasons beyond our control as children, didn’t meet each other until we were adults. Since then we have developed a truly wonderful relationship, but it’s kind of a bummer that we weren’t given the chance to know each other for our whole lives.

Regardless, we are making up for lost time, in the best way ever: with BBQ.

Big brother writes a blog, too, check out his theme park blog at Park Journey. Because he goes on so many trips to theme parks, I get the benefit when he shows up with things like a big bottle of boysenberry concentrate from Knott’s Berry Farm.

I made the most awesome Boysenberry Baby Back Ribs! (See the end of this post for the recipe.)

We also went out with another friend to check out some RV sales lots, so I can get an idea of what type of vehicle I want. I don’t have a truck (or even a car) so I don’t want something I have to haul, and I need something with a standard bed, i.e., not one I have to climb a ladder to get into, or unfold from a table or something. It’s too hard on my poor broken back!

Anyway, I think I narrowed it down to the type of Class C RV I need for this trip.

I will continue to update as I prepare to take off on this amazing trip of a lifetime. I do not yet have an itinerary; nor do I plan to have one. I have a lot of people I would like to see, and there are a lot of monuments and national parks and just beautiful areas of the country that I’ve never seen, and now that I am running out of time, I am very excited to see. I even splurged and bought myself the best travel gift ever: a brand new, spiral-bound, Adventure Edition road atlas!

This baby even has a full section on all of the national parks! I probably won’t be driving to Alaska (although you never know), but other than that, I really want to see all of the national parks. This will be so fun!

And, yes. I am excited. I have something truly life-changing and amazing to look forward to. I know it might seem weird, in fact I got a few comments and messages about how happy I seem to be about a bucket list road trip. All I can say to that is, I learned a lot from when I had breast cancer before; and I learned a lot about control.

When you have cancer, it’s easy to feel like you have no control over your life … you’re told what to eat, what medicines to take, what horrible treatments to do to your body. You feel like your own body is betraying you; like no matter what you do, this cancer is the one in control, not you. And to a certain extent, that is true.

But.

But.

You always have control over your own reactions to things. Sure, you can be a jerk to the nurse treating you, and probably nobody would blame you, because you have cancer and you’re in pain or you’re sick. But being a jerk isn’t going to make you feel any better. It certainly won’t make your treatment any easier.

A positive attitude, sometimes, is all you have.

I’ve always been a happy person. Sure, I have problems like everyone else, but I am generally happy. I have (had) a great career, a house on the beach, a great boyfriend, a wonderful family, amazing friends .. I don’t have a lot to be angry at the world about. And I am sure not going to let cancer take anything else away from me.

Being sick; I can’t control that.

But I can control how I react to it.

I choose not to be afraid.

I choose not to be angry.

I choose to be happy despite the pain.

I choose to make every moment count.

I choose to live my life as I want to live it.

I choose to end it the way I want to end it.

I am going to ride out on the greatest bucket list trip ever. Hopefully I will see everything I want to see, live another five years, and write a great book about my adventures. Maybe I will have to cut my adventure short if I get too sick or am in too much pain. But I will ride as long as I can and see as much as I can for as long as I can.

It’s gonna be so rad!

  ≡

Boysenberry Baby Back Ribs 

(Instant Pot Recipe)

Ingredients:

Two (2) baby back rib racks

 about 1/2 of 1 bottle of Knott’s Berry Farm Boysenberry Punch Concentrate, separated (you can purchase online here)

1 cup water

8 oz. tomato paste

3 tbsp. brown sugar

about 1/2 diced onion

1-2 heads of crushed garlic

smoked salt* and fresh cracked pepper

To prepare:

Place a rack in your Instant Pot inner pot. Add approx. 1/4 of the bottle of boysenberry concentrate and the water to the pot.

Coat the ribs with salt and pepper, and arrange on the rack in the Instant Pot. Set on high pressure for between 15-25 minutes, depending on the thickness of the meat. (Don’t overcook, or the ribs will fall apart before you can eat them; more than 30 minutes will have all the meat falling off of the bone no matter how thick the ribs are.)

While the ribs are in the Instant Pot, sauté the diced onion and garlic with the olive oil in a small pot on the stove. Once the onion is translucent, add the tomato paste and the brown sugar, as well as smoked salt and pepper.

Whisk in about another 1/4 of the bottle of boysenberry concentrate VERY SLOWLY as the sauce simmers. Do not let the sauce get scorched.

Allow the Instant Pot to depressurize naturally, which should take about 15 minutes, at the same time that you allow the sauce to gently simmer.

Once the Instant Pot has depressurized, remove the ribs, coat them in the sauce, and place in your air fryer or under a broiler for about 5-7 minutes until the sauce gets caramelized. Serve and eat immediately.

  *Note: I do not believe in using Liquid Smoke, and smoked salt is an excellent substitute for actual smoked meats, etc. If you must (gulp) use Liquid Smoke, go easy on it.

      Boysenberry Baby Back Ribs and Planning for the trip of your life I have just under 30 days before I vacate my apartment and hit the road in an RV -- which I technically do not yet have.

#baby back ribs #boysenberry #boysenberry bbq #knott&039;s berry farm #park journey #ribs

[thehiddensemicolon]

Kacchako Fanfic: New Prey Chapter 27

Everyone arrived at the camping ground around 12 pm on a Saturday. The spot was perfect and close to the beach. Everyone agreed that it would be better to bring tents rather than sleeping in a cabin. The students began placing the stuff they brought for the trip on a nearby table.

"How thoughtful for your parents renting our camping spot Momo. That was very nice. And it's right by the beach!" Ashido said.

"Oh it's nothing. Please everyone enjoy yourselves." Momo blushed.

"Everyone my parents have also rented us several jet skies, a speed boat, and tubing equipment. Today we shall celebrate our last get together before we graduate!" Iida said.

Everyone thanked Momo and Iida for their families gifts.

"Boy rich people. So nice and friendly. But I feel kinda bad for only bringing stuff like chairs and sun screen." Kaminari sighed.

Sero and Kirishima nodded in agreement.

Deku was going around asking everyone if they brought the things they said they would on the list, but when he went to Shouto name on the list, all it said was, not to sure.

"Ah Todoroki what did you bring?" Deku asked.

Shouto looked uneasy as he pulled a bag of marshmallows out of his bag.

"Well to be honest. I didn't know what to bring. I never went camping before, so I googled what people do while their camping. And looked at the images and saw people burning marshmallows. So I figured I can burn everyone's marshmallows for them, but I don't know why people seem to like it burned. I never had marshmallows before, but they taste pretty good in its original form. " He said.

Everyone looked shocked.

"What you never went camping before either?! I was beginning to think I was the only one who hasn't ." Uraraka quickly said.

"No what am shocked about the most is he never had a marshmallow?!" Kaminari questioned.

Everyone thought the same thing.

Everyone was there expect for their favorite fire cracker.

"Ah Uraraka where is Bakugou, did he get lost?" Iida asked.

"Um no he is just... driving over here with his parents." She calmly said.

"Bakugou is allowed to drive?" Kaminari almost yelled.

"Yeah he has his license." She said.

"No I mean... his driving test instructor actually passed him? That's scary . He rages while walking on solid ground. I can't imagine how bad his road rage must be." Kaminari said.

Deku walked over and talked with Uraraka.

"So is he still bringing ice?" Deku asked.

"Uh.. yeah." She turned her face away and giggled to herself.

~~~1 hour ago~~~ "I don't fucking know why you assholes signed me up to bring ice. ICE Ochako.. FUCKING ICE. DID THOSE MORONS FORGET WHAT QUIRK I FUCKING HAVE. I fucking went to the grocery store to buy ice. I bought fucking five bags of ice , because that is what you assholes made me bring and guess what?, one by fucking one as I fucking picked up a bag, it immediately melted Ochako. All fucking five of them did." Bakugou said to Uraraka on the phone.

"Well it is not their fault that you said that you would bring anything. You didn't want to discuss it, so you just left. Maybe if you would have said that you were going to bring i don't know maybe paper plates, you wouldn't have got stuck bringing ice." Uraraka said.

"And my fucking mom is not even fucking helping me She is just fucking laughing her ass off right now as I fucking melted the ice, so I had to buy more fucking ice and had to look like a fucking pussy, while the grocery store employee loaded the ice in our car." Bakugou told her.

"Well um Ashidos family is here to pick us up to take us to the camp site so am about to leave ... meet you their handsome?" She giggled on the phone.

"Yeah fucking fine then ... What NO YOU ARENT GOING TO TALK TO HER HAG." He said as he hung up the phone.

Uraraka guessed Bakugou didn't want his mom to talk to her.

~~~present time~~~ On cue, the person she was just thinking about came. With an angry face already.

He had his stuff hanging from his back and a very large ice container box in his hands.

He walked up to his classmates and dropped the box angrily.

"Which one of you dumb fucks thought it would be a great idea to assign me fucking ice to bring, knowing I fucking literally make explosions in my fucking palms." He cursed.

"Ahhh Kacchan.. thanks for bringing the ice." Deku said.

He would not tell Bakugou this but, it was him that assigned him ice. He was just tired and was reviewing the list very late at night in his dorms and noticed there was no ice. And unconsciously assigned Bakugou to bring ice. Oops on his part.

"Oh the reason why ice wasn't on the list, was because I volunteered to make ice. I just wanted to bring something else that didn't have to do with my quirk." Shouto said.

Deku remembered everything now. And now he thought that Kacchan probably knew it was him that assigned him ice, to play around with him. Oh no.

Deku sighed.

"Sooo now that everyone is here we have to go over sleeping arrangements. Shall we have a girl side and boy side?" Momo asked.

"What no! I mean we are all adults.. I mean some of us are, but we are mature enough to be able to sleep together." Mineta said.

"I mean this isn't a school related trip. So it isn't a bad idea to. We shouldn't be so spread apart after all. We are here over night. Better for us to stay as a group." Kirishima said.

"Okay so we can all set up our tents around the campfire then Ribbit." Tsuyu said.

Everyone was given roles on what to do, to get the camp spot done.

Some were given tasks to set up the tents and what not.

"Am fucking going to BBQ this shit." Bakugou stormed off with a bag of coal.

"I'll go to." Shouto said.

Bakugou just grunted.

People were unpacking and struggling to set up tents and Shouto was amused about how focused Bakugou was while cooking food. It smelled quite nice.

After awhile when everything was done, Uraraka came up from behind Bakugou and gave him a hug.

He still isn't so used to public PDA so he tended up. But stayed in place. She kissed his back and tightened her grip.

"So is this when am supposed to 'kiss the cook' ?" She giggled.

"Yeah ha ha your so fucking hilarious." He grinned.

She let go of him and patted his back.

"HEY FUCKTARDS FOOD IS READY. GO FETCH." He yelled.

His classmates cheered and ran to get food, completely ignoring the tone of his voice.

"Wow this is really good." Uraraka said.

People nodded with their mouths stuffed with food.

"Duh of course it is." Bakugou replied.

"So how about we all get ready to go to the beach!" Kirishima said.

Everyone agreed. While the girls stood up to change. The guys were already ready. All they did was take off their shirts. They already had their swim trunks on after all.

"Come on already girls. Gosh you all take so long to get ready!" Sero joked.

"Yeah we are already ready." Kaminari said.

"Hey that's not fair!" Ashido said.

"Yeah we don't have the pleasure of just taking our shirts off to go swim." Jirou defended.

They girls regardless went to get changed.

Mineta started to drool. He was finally going to see a girls body after all.

Mineta looked like he was trying to escape the guys to go sneak a peak.

Just as he was about to leave. Bakugou yanked him over his way.

Mineta fell down on the ground and he looked terrified.

"I fucking hope you don't plan on sneaking on the girls you little fucking purple glop. I would really be riled up if you specifically go check out my girlfriend. Stay away from the girls. This is my first and last warning grape balls ." Bakugou said.

Even the other guys didn't bother to stop Bakugou's threatening this time. A lot of the guys had crushes on the same girls after all.

"Uhh uhh ...ah ah alright you have my word. I won't try anything." Mineta shivered.

Bakugou snarled and left.

"But that doesn't mean I won't fantasize about them in my thoughts and dreams." Mineta said to himself quietly.

They girls arrived. And we're already running toward the beach.

"Come on! Why do you guys always take so long getting ready!?" Ashido joked.

"Hey Mina! I call one of those jet skis!" Kirishima yelled running after her.

Bakugou caught himself staring at Uraraka and it finally clicked to him that she was already by the beach.

He cursed and ran after her as well.

When he caught up he saw her staring at the ocean like a kid.

"You wanna jet ski floaty? We can race Kirishima." He asked.

She looked so excited and quickly nodded her head.

They got life jackets and there was only two jet skis left.

"Well we can share? Mina and I can share one and you two the other." Kirishima said.

"Fine by me. Hope you are ready to lose." Bakugou said.

Kirishima looked confused.. racing?

Bakugou got on one and told Uraraka to sit behind him.

"Hold on Ochako. I like going fast in these shits." He grinned.

She nodded okay and got on.

"Should I be worried?" She questioned.

He turned to her and she actually saw a smile.

"Hell no! By my side is the safest you are ever going to be. Don't fucking forget that." He told her.

Bakugou slowly started to move the jet ski. Enough to make Uraraka find peace.

Then he went speed up dramatically.

"AHHHH KATSUKI SLOW DOWN." Uraraka begged. She gripped his waist harder than she has ever done before.

"WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU SPEAK LOUDER." He jokes. He makes a sharp right turn and Uraraka swore she almost flew off.

"YO BAKUGOU. PRETTY SWEET HUH?! WHOAAA." Kirishima said.

Kirishima and Ashido jet ski was going up and down very fast.

"KIRISHIMA I THINK WE ARE GOING TO FALL. LOOK WE ARE ALREADY HAVING SOME WATER ON OUR JET SKI. AHHHH!" Ashido yelled.

The two soon flew off the jet ski. And were left floating without their jet ski.

"Ha suckers." Bakugou smirked as he saw what happened to his friend.

"Hey aren't we going to help them?" Uraraka asked.

"Hell no! They are fucking old enough to take care of themselves. And besides I fucking hate getting wet in the water." He told her.

"Huh why?...oh." She said and began to giggle.

"Huh What? Shut the fuck up." He barked.

"Katsuki... you don't like the water, because it's harder to use your quirk if your wet huh?" She placed her hands to her mouth as she tried to hide her laughter.

"Fuck no. Shut the hell up would ya." He blushed.

"Fine, argh it's not my fucking fault water decreases the power of my quirk. Happy?!" He said.

"Hmm... can I try driving this thing?" She asked.

He looked shocked, but nonetheless allowed her to balance her way to the driver seat.

"Uh so what to I do now.. ARGH." Uraraka accidently stomped on the pedal.

Bakugou was caught of guard completely and quickly put his arms around Uraraka's waist.

"Hey fucking watch it would ya." He said.

"Sorrrry." She apologized.

He began to show her how to ride the machine and while she got used to it. Her driving scared the living shit out of him.

~~~ back at the campfire ~~~ After a whole day of drowning and time at the beach, everyone was tired.

They all gathered around the campfire

"When do we get to eat the marshmallows?" Shouto asked for the millionth time.

"Ah yeah now is the time man." Kaminari said.

"Okay who wants to start the fire?" Momo asked.

Everyone looked at Bakugou and Shouto.

"Todoroki should do it." Uraraka broke the silence.

"Yes that is a good choice ribbit. Let's avoid trees burning down today. Ribbit." Tsuyu agreed.

"Eh? You motherfuckers honestly think I can't control my quirk huh? Well fuck you guys. I didn't want to make the fucking fire anyways." Bakugou grunted.

"Well since I brought the marshmallows I will do it. " Shouto said.

He went to the pit that had the wood and released his quirk to make a subtle yet warm flame.

Ashido and Kirishima was in charge of giving out the sticks, chocolate, and gram crackers. While Shouto handed out the marshmallows.

Shouto was observing the s'mores making process his classmates where doing.

"Oh. So it's like a sandwich?" He says to himself.

"Don't be a wuss. Just reach the marshmallow closer to the fire. Or it's going to take forever to burn it in the fucking long ass distance you are from it." Bakugou said.

"Hey! Well maybe I don't want it burned huh? Maybe just a bit crispy or a little brown." Uraraka defended.

"You you want a  s'more?" Kaminari said.

"Some more of what? I didn't have anything yet. " Todoroki questioned (A/N I had to XD ^)

Everyone began talking about the good memories of being in UA.

Everyone couldn't believe that they graduated in a week.

Everyone began to realize they wouldn't be together like this again.

Everyone began feeling different. Different from when they arrived to this trip. At first was joy of hanging out. Now the reality of the real world is hitting everyone.

"Hey everyone. Will we still all hang out. Even when we graduate?" Kirishima broke the silence.

"Well I do believe that there are some of us who are working at the same agency. But it would be rather difficult for everyone. But I still encourage it!" Iida said.

"Oh yeah so who is working together?" Ashido said.

"I'll be working with class rep." Sero said.

"Well Kacchan and I are in the same agency." Deku said.

In which Bakugou just grunted.

"And Uraraka and I." Todoroki said.

In which Bakugou grunted again.

"Well kero. I think that you six are the only ones in the same agency. But am sure we will work besides each other. Kero. Agencies always work together at some point." Tsuyu said.

"Exactly. That's the mindset we all need to be having Tsuyu. We will all see each other after UA. As heroes." Momo said.

Every agreed and smiled.

Then Jirou spoke.

"Hey. When I stayed after class last week. I over heard a conversation of present mic and Aizawa saying someone from us got into his agency. Which one of us was he referring too?" Jirou said.

"No you must be mistaken. I looked at every students agency choose and acceptance. No one of us  is at Aizawas agency." Iida said.

Bakugou looked around. Trying not to look suspicious. After all it was supposed to be secret.

"Well I think we aren't meant to know. After all Aizawa does work underground. His agency is all into secrecy and stealth stuff. They get the job done quietly or get information in any means possible. They mostly take the difficult missions and do the dirty work. So because of what his agency stands for, we aren't meant to know anything. I bet the student that got hired, was told to keep their mouths closed." Deku muttered.

"Well shit. I guess we will never find out." Kaminari said.

"Well we girls should all come together before graduation and get ready together!" Uraraka mentioned.

"That's a great idea!" Momo and Ashido said.

"See it's normal if girls get ready together. But if guys do then we are the weird ones!" Kirishima said.

"No you are the weird one." Sero said.

"I agree." Kaminari said.

"Yeah that was a pretty fucking dumbass idea you had the other day." Bakugou said.

"I mean all we have to do is put on a nice shirt and pants and boom we are done." Kaminari said.

"No one ever likes my ideas." Kirishima sulked.

"Well it's getting pretty dark." Ashido shivered.

"Are you scared of the dark?" Jirou asked.

"Kinda." She replied.

Then a few students agreed that the dark was scary. (Basically the students who hasn't been speaking lol)

"What!" Bakugou said.

"Hey don't hate. I actually am creeped out about the night bro." Kaminari added in.

"Again. What the fuck." Bakugou looked confused and bothered.

"How the fuck are you assholes going to be a hero if you are fucking scared of the dark?" Bakugou yelled.

"We pray we don't get the nightshift." They all said together.

Bakugou for once was at a lost for words.

"Yes so we need something to lighten the camp spot more. So when we sleep it wouldn't be so creepy!" Ashido said.

"Unfuckingbelievable." Bakugou said to himself.

"Yeah I can't really make that happen." Kaminari said.

"Can anybody do something. With their quirk. It's okay to use to save someone from danger." Ashido said.

"What the fuck no? Who the hell is killing us huh? We can't use our quirks." Bakugou said.

"Yes we can. The night time is a danger to us. And someone's quirk can save us from it." Ashido tried to reason with him.

Kirishima was standing their. Listening to the arguments between Bakugou and the team of people who were scared of the dark.

Then a light bulb lite up in his mind.

"Heyyyy how about our favorite couple Bakugou and uraraka. They can use their quirks for a nice light." Kirishima said.

"Oh yeah a floating explosion. That would be pretty cool." Kaminari played along.

"Well if it will easy everyone's fear of the dark, then sure." A bubbly Uraraka said.

Bakugou was about to say something. Until Uraraka elbowed him in the gut.

"Ahhh fuckin." He grunted.

"It's fine. We will do it." Uraraka said.

Everyone either went to a tent or stayed outside in their sleeping bag to sleep.

Bakugou still couldn't believe in anything.

~~~ few moments later~~~

Bakugou found himself that night being a personal night light.

"Tch. And these are the fucking shitty wussy ass heroes that are going to save fucking people eh?" He continues to curse to himself.

Creating another small explosion, while his girlfriend tiredly made it float.

"Man would I like to see them getting the fucking night shift." He mumbles to himself.

Uraraka yawned and her eyes caught sight of an unreal magical scene.

"We created that." She says while admiring the sky.

Bakugou quit his bickering and actual took the time to look up at the sky.

Both of them smiled that night and realized that their powers together made such a pretty and strong supernova.

... and a pretty good night light.

#katsuki bakugou #bakuraka #bakugou x uraraka #uraraka ochako #my hero academia #kacchako

[mikemosewrites]

Planning to eat at Broke N Bored Grill? Read my review first.

Alright, so like I said before: I like to eat. I also like to know where I can get a nice experience when I go out to eat. So yesterday we decided to try somewhere new. Over the bridge where Park Boulevard meets Gulf, taking a left there will bring you to Broke N Bored Grill. A little place, directly next to the beach access, with a quiet parking lot and chairs all neat up front next to the door. My wife and I have never been here but see the Yelp reviews constantly (we like to try new places when we can). 

We get there at about 1:40 pm, and it’s dead inside. With such good reviews I expected more people during lunchtime. After visiting though, I think I can see why it’s not filling up during peak hours...so here’s my review:

The Good Stuff

First off, it was nice and clean. I like a clean place to eat like any sensible human would. The tables and chairs were spotless for the most part, maybe some crumbs on the floor but that’s expected. I didn’t use the restroom and can’t comment on that, but if it’s anything like the rest of the restaurant I can assume it’s safe to use. The atmosphere was relaxed, though a little reminiscent of the overplayed “Cali Beach Dude,” vibe. In general it’s a nice, quiet place to eat. 

Service-wise, our server was generally nice. He was at our table quickly and got our orders in without a fuss. We didn’t have a wait for seating, mainly because of the lack of customer volume, but it’s also free seating. I enjoy this more because I feel like I’m being served faster. This can backfire, though, if your wait-staff aren’t vigilant. The time from order-to-delivery wasn’t bad either. 

Something really nice about this place in particular is the bar, which appears to be full service. Not only can you come enjoy the beach, but you don’t need to walk far to get a drink afterwards. Plus, if it’s nice out, they do have outdoor seating as well both on the patio and by the road. They also avoid straws in an effort to help the environment.

The Bad

As quaint and peaceful as my dining experience was, it didn’t really wow me. And there were a few things that sort of put both of us off while we were there.

For starters, it’s cramped. I get it, it’s beach real estate and it’s fucking expensive, but I think losing one or two chairs inside would open it up and make it way more comfortable. This could be part of why there’s no lunch rush happening.

Additionally, while the service wasn’t bad, it was far from good. Our server seemed very rushed while we were there. He came to us and got our food out in a decent amount of time but his focus was not on customer interaction. While taking our order he referenced the “specials,” board and started spouting off the descriptions at light speed. I lost interest pretty much immediately. I didn’t hear a damn thing he said, really...and I wasn’t about to ask him to repeat. I’m awkward that way.

As our meal progressed we saw more people start to arrive, and they seemed to have a similar experience from the get-go. They were greeted from the back of the house without anyone really coming out to greet them face-to-face--the server, who I now think may be the only one there, still way more worried about completing tasks than helping customers. 

Once we were seated, and the other folks were getting a little more attention, the staff essentially disappeared. It took quite a while for our server to check on us, and then even longer to get the check. 

The Food

I can say the food was good. The price was not good. The menu is very seafood-centered and a high price there isn’t a surprise. But I’m not sure I want to spend $20 for a rib-eye steak at a mom-and-pop beach grill…regardless, I decided to go with the Pull Pork Sandwich. Sarah’s a big chicken salad fan, so she went with their sandwich version. We are told that all the fish is wild caught and cooked within 1-2 days of catch, and all the smoked meats are smoked on-site. This does explain the price a little.

The Pulled Pork Sandwich includes a toasted brioche bun with pulled pork, “pineapple” slaw, and chipotle BBQ sauce. 

The Chicken Salad Sandwich includes smoked chicken, celery, red onion, mayo, red grape, and some other items we can’t tell. This comes on toasted sliced bread (I think wheat) and is topped with lettuce and tomato.

As you can see, everything comes with fries. The options for sides were slim, and we decided to go with how it comes. The fires taste like your standard, frozen crinkle fry. As far as the sandwiches, though, I was surprised.

The pulled pork on my sandwich was good. Still very juicy. The smokiness wasn’t overpowering which is important in my opinion. The slaw was completely devoid of pineapple though which was a slight disappointment. The slaw was good, and still sweet, so it wasn’t a giant loss in flavor but I think it would have really added some depth to it. The sauce definitely saved it from being just “Meh.” The chipotle was there but not distracting. Smokey but, again, not overpowering. It was a very good mix of sweet and savory. Sarah tried it and found it to be too spicy (so if you have a spice sensitivity you might want to be careful). 

The chicken salad, on the other hand, wasn’t as satisfying. From what she explained, it was very centered on the meat rather than the sandwich as a whole. The chunks were large and made it awkward to chew. The flavors weren’t matched well either from what she said. The chicken was overpowering with smokiness. The grapes and the chicken were almost fighting for attention, and it didn’t mix well. 

Overall

With everything in mind, I would say that Broke N Bored Grill is good for convenience, but not good for your lunch break. The quality of the food and what you get in your meal don’t match up to the price. We spent around $23 for our bill, just the sandwiches, a coke, and fries. Easily, I could go to Cheddar’s about 15 minutes east and get two gigantic meals for the same price. The service needs a face-lift and focus needs to get put on customers rather than finishing opening tasks. 

The food was good, don’t get me wrong, but it wasn’t great. A better variety of sides would help and maybe keeping all the intended ingredients in the meal would be a good place to look as well. There is a heavy emphasis on seafood so maybe one day we’ll come back for redemption, but all-in-all I don’t think we’ll return anytime soon. If you’re on Redington Beach and looking for a convenient place for food and drink then you’re in luck.

#Florida #food #restaurant #review #restaurant review #redington beach #tampa #tampa bay #travel #travel blog #food blog

[haleyvonfeldt-blog]

Don't tell my mom...but I went hitch hiking

September 21

Then the bus came to take me to the national park! My hostel roommate, Esteban, got off with me at the stop for the national park, and we decided to get through it together. He had been there before and I figured it would be a lot better to go with someone else opposed to getting lost in the national park... plus it was nice to have someone to talk to. The national park was beautiful and SUPER muddy. We went from being in marshes with tall grass, to forests where everything was a different shade of green. We were on one of the back loops where at some point we took a wrong turn and ended up outside of the park... we didn't realize this until our trail led us to a road. At the same time a car was backing out of their drive way but got stuck. The driver asked for help so we helped him push his car. It was very much a "wrong place at the right time" sort of thing. We asked him if he knew where the actual park was and Esteban did most of the talking so I wasn't exactly sure what was going on. Finally the guy just offered to take us to the front of the park again, SO I SAID YES AND I HITCH HIKED. It was so awesome! Hitch hiking is SUPER common on the island. When I had that BBQ the first night all the people I talked to had hitch hiked all day,of course they were In Groups so it was a lot safer. I knew I wasn't going to hitch hike by myself because that would be dumb, but the opportunity came up and I hitch hiked, for like a mile. We got dropped off back at the front of the national park and set off for round two. We found a map and saw exactly where we had taken a wrong turn and ended up on a path that took us to a Mapuche village. Mapuche are the indigenous people of Chile. That is where we met the man who drove us to the front. This time we decided we would head towards the beach and sand dunes. It had started to sprinkle a little bit that didn't phase us. It was a beautiful hike through more green forest and through trees that appeared to have orange bark. I'm looking back now, it reminds me of Oompa Loompas. We made our way to a beach that has super strong winds but created the coolest looking Sand patterns of all time. The top layer of sand just blew out over the beach, but only super close to the ground. It was the weirdest thing to see. I don't think photos of videos will do it justice, but I'll post them anyway. It was truly magical and I can see what gives this island such a folclore and magical past. As we got closer to the ocean another strange phenomenon was happening... the waves were rolling sideways on the beach. They weren't building and crashing head on to the beach, but they were going perpendicular. Probably as a result from the strong winds, but it was still magical and a little spooky. The rain started to pick up se we made our way back to the park entrance just a few minutes before it started pouring. We took refuge and ate snacks and waited for the next bus. I was soaked and freezing and had super muddy shoes but was so happy with the adventure I had that day. We got back to Castro with just enough time for me to make it to Mass! I almost didn't go because I was still wet and freezing. But Mass is Mass and always worth it. Turns out it was SUPER worth it. The first reading is one of my favorites. Ephesians 4:1-7, 11-13. Then I got asked to be the lector! (The person who reads the Bible readings at Mass). I don't think the guy knew I was American but I said yes and was super excited to do it. Also, after Mass there was Adoration. The second I saw the monstrance (the fancy looking thing they put Jesus in) I started tearing up from excitement. I stayed for as long as I could but eventually I was just too cold so I headed back to my hostel! And that was it for day 3!

[the-life-of-nameless]

June 24 2019

Today I got a really amazing birthday present: freedom. I have one signature left and then I’m free!

My ex is an absolute dunce and is planning on keeping the two bedroom apartment that they can’t afford. To do this my exes poor mom and step dad have to both co-sign the apartments lease. I know for a fact my ex struggled to put the money together to pay last month, I know this because they finished paying on the day the rental managers were going to file for eviction. I feel so bad for my exes parents, they really have absolutely no idea what they’re getting in to. My ex makes minimum wage and that itself would barely cover a single months rent, and that is if my ex actually had a job, which I doubt they do because last I checked they lost their previous job two blocks away from the apartment at a Tim Hortons.

Regardless of how bad I feel for my exes family members I feel really god damn good for myself for once. I’m finally getting my life together. Today I ate breakfast and lunch so far, and I didn’t rely on drinking Boost to maintain my energy levels, calories and vitamins. My appetite is finally coming back and although the hunger is annoying it’s a good sign that I’m getting healthier again. Moreover I am dating someone I have been head over heels for for the majority of the past year. Previously I was terrified of dating them because my ex had threatened to hurt them and kill them. Furthermore I was terrified that my ex would hurt me, and I knew that if I was dating someone that they’d just act rude towards me and make my home life miserable since I was still living with them. Now I’m living with my best friend and I’m free to see whomever I please and be friends with whoever, it’s a beautiful thing. Lastly I’ve finally been able to expand my independence. I’ve been making purchases on purchases by myself, I’ve been smoking a hell of a lot less marijuana (I’ve cut down to smoking once a day, or every few days), and I’ve constantly been pushing myself to try new things and go to new places. Just last week I went to a new beach all by myself to go to a BBQ held by my work, and before I never would have even thought of doing that.

#oc #learning to be happy #depression #life #independence