#me exhausted and burnt out: this dumbass this fucking fool

[violetsandshrikes]

so i'm rereading animorphs and thinking about all the times visser three is threatening to eat these kids alive (a lot to unpack there so we're just going to throw that entire suitcase away).

anyway, was just thinking, technically if he had managed to get say, rachel in polar bear morph, his ass would probably die. a healthy polar bear liver has enough vitamin a to kill around 50-52 humans. being a blue space deer, he might have a slightly higher tolerance but i seriously doubt it's that high. imagine thinking you've had the last laugh and then you die of vitamin a poisoning that's so embarassing.

#me exhausted and burnt out: this dumbass this fucking fool #you can't just eat random shit for the aesthetic sir esp things you're unfamiliar withhhhhh #ask to tag #for uh i guess v*re mentions??? god. what the fuck was this series #animorphs

[drethanramslay]

Without You

Pairing: Logan x MC (Lexi Cahill)

Masterlist

Word count: 2.5 K words

Warning: Just a little cursing, here and there and Angst

MC is actually not present in this fic, this is Logan's POV, four months after he had to leave LA

Author's note: I decided to take part in @rodappreciationweek so here is my submission :)) 

Thanks to @choicesarehard @brightpinkpeppercorn and @client-327 for hosting this 💙

Thanks to @mvalentine for pre-reading it❤️❤️

Title inspiration: Without You by Avicii (ft. Sandro Cavazza)

Song: Gone by Blake Rose

Forgive me if I make any mistakes.

The rays of the sun spilled through the crack in my curtains, making the white walls a yellow hue. My eyes were bleary and red rimmed. It had just been moments since I woke up and my hangover struck me like a train wreck, a familiar electric pain behind my eyes.

I shouldn't have drank so much.

I moved my head to only see an an empty bed side. Of course she left. Who would want to stick around after a one night stand?

The hazy memories of last night filtered through my head, making me wince. Another night, another rave, another tray of shots and another chick to bang.

You could call it saturday shenanigans but, this was different.

Everything was different since I left her.

All my days just seem to melt away into a haze of alcohol and drugs... Today, tomorrow, yesterday seems to fuse into this neverending torture, an ache which no matter how much I drink or how many girls I fuck, never fucking ceases to hurt. The only thing which can fix this gaping wound in my heart is Lexi.

But she is not here.

And never will be.

So this is how it has been for the past weeks. Me getting inebriated to new extremes just to numb the pain and to temporarily erase the loneliness before I become sober again.

Because when I'm in those intoxicated wastelands, I'm so out of it that I can almost hallucinate her dancing with me. I can almost smell her strawberry shampoo, tickling my nose. I can almost hear her tinkling laugh.

And in my alcohol induced sleep, I dream of her in my arms the both of us fitting together, like two jigsaw puzzles.

I despise being sober. Because when I am In my senses, the entire load of loss weighs down on me, crushing me and suffocating me. The 'could have been's' and the regret are all a heavy burden on my shoulders.

A small part of me is often wishing, praying and hoping that things could just go back to normal but, deep in my gut I know, that nothing is ever going to be the same again.

Nothing is ever going to be the same, now that she was gone...

How much time does it take to get over people?

It may be a day, a week, a month or a year. There is no definitive time span for getting over someone you loved, someone you cherished or someone who was close to your heart.

I think it depends on how much of an impact the said person had on you or how much of a void that person left in you.

I was the wild and carefree guy, with no strings attached and never saw myself being the one to fall in love because... Let's admit it, love is a vulnerability, a weakness which people don't hesitate to exploit.

But fast forward to four months later, I am in the same category as those emotional pussies crying over a breakup.

Being brought up in foster homes made me grow up quickly. Some houses were good and caring whilst some were harsh. And knowing that I am the most cursed person to walk the earth, I was always was stuck with the shitty households.

Don't believe me? I still have those scars from the fights and the beatings.

Growing up in such a hostile environment, taught me that there is no room for weakness or error and that love and feelings are just some fairy tale myth which is made by philosophical fools to give you a sense of hope.

But, hope is a dangerous thing, two side of the same coin. It can make you and break you.

I don't think I would have survived my childhood but... That's when I fell in love with cars.

It holds a special place in my heart.

The way my adrenaline spikes as the pointer on my speedometer achieves unattainable speeds, the way I feel the purr of my engine resound through my entire body and they way it's just me, my car and the open road... Nobody could ever compare to that sensation of freedom.

Well, that was before I met her.

Lexi Cahill.

I admit it started off as a way to recruit her as an informant, a tool to stay out of prison, another heart to break.

But little did I know that life would pull the fucking reverse uno card on me. But, I'm low-key glad it did.

It's been 4 months since that scum bag was thrown into the jail.

Four months since the crew went its separate ways.

Four months since I walked away from her.

I don't want to let you go...

Those words were on a repeat in his head, like a broken tape recorder and her teary eyes and broken expression is forever burnt into his brain. It was so hard to let her go. The one time I found a reason to stay, a reason to fight for, a reason to stop running, life just fucked it all up.

It was a tussle, a war between what my heart wanted and the logical side of me which just left me exhausted.

In conclusion, heartbreak sucks.

I reach for my phone and switch it on to check the time. But my eyes fall on our prom photo which I had made as my wallpaper. It's really stupid how head over heels I'm in love with her.

But it's the truth.

There is a saying that life gives you only one great love and that many people go for years without that.

I was one of the few lucky people to get that at 18.

But life is not sunflowers and unicorns shitting rainbows. It's rough, it's hard with its a mix of ups and downs. But it seems like mine is set to be on the all time low.

Staggering to the bathroom, I heavily leaned against the counter, my muscles flexing as I gripped the edge. My eyes lifted to see my reflection staring back at me.

I look like a hot mess.

This isn't you Logan... My inner conscience said, which eerily sounded like her.

God, I really must be losing it, huh?

Slowly and painfully I started my morning chores, my body on auto pilot. My mind kept on wandering to Lexi. She would be in Langston by now.

Would she be in that off shoulder sweater of hers, her feather tattoo peaking from underneath the sleeve? Would she be highlighting and colour coordinating her notes like she always did?

Would she have made new friends? Or dare I say a new boyfriend?

Logan stop hurting yourself. I said to myself as I visibly cringed at the thought of someone else having their arms around her.

The idea of someone else kissing her soft lips or someone else holding her hands or someone else running his hands along the curvature of her naked back made me equal parts angry and sad.

Angry for you know, obvious reasons but sad for the life I had to leave behind in LA.

God I hate this existential crisis shit... It's to early to question life.

I dragged myself in the direction of the kitchen, the smell of bacon waking me up. I was shirtless and wearing a pair of sweatpants because I was too fucking tired to wear anything else.

"Look who has decided to grace us with their presence."

"Shut up Carl, it's too early for your bullshit." Raven said as she slapped the top of his head.

I shot her a look of gratitude as I sank into my seat and reached for the plate of pancakes.

Carl and Raven were the closest thing to parents for me. Carl was a tough man with huge muscles, around six feet tall but, he was as goofy as a child. Raven was his girlfriend who was hella intimidating. The kohl lined eyes and the floral tattoo on the side of her shaven head made her look fierce. Both of them were in their early thirties and ran the Detroit Central crew.

We three were in a different crew when I was 15 and they really took a liking for me. They taught me everything I know and they are the family that I always came back too.

I dug into my breakfast, eating slowly and savouring the sweetness of the maple syrup.

"Thank god you are atleast eating now." Raven said as she ruffled my hair and turned towards the sink.

I shrugged and Carl picked up the newspaper to read, settling into his seat. Suddenly, the bell rang which had all of our backs becoming as stiff as a rod.

"Were you expecting someone, darlin'?" Raven asked, trying to peak through the windows.

"Don't get up, I'll do it." Carl said as he picked up the gun on the counter and pushed it into the back pocket of his cargo pants.

I was frozen, terrified. I had been very careful in escaping but me being the reckless fool and getting drunk seven ways to Sunday may have tipped them off.

I'm such a colossal dumbass.

I could hear Carl's gruff voice talking but I couldn't peek at the person on the other side of the door. I just sank further into my seat, hoping that it was some lost person and not the FBI.

"Boy this one's for you." He moved aside and the person I least expected to see walked in.

"You look like shit."

"Good morning to you too, asshole." I rolled my eyes.

Colt walked into the kitchen, wearing his trademark leather jackets and dark jeans. His combat boots made a thud sound with each step which made my headache worse.

"Will you be okay, Lo-lo?" Raven asked, her eyes flitting to the jerk standing in her kitchen.

Colt snorted at the nickname but luckily kept his mouth shut.

"Yep Ra. Meet Colt Kaneko. Colt meet Raven and Carl." I spoke at I stood up and put my dirty dishes in the sink.

"Oh you are Kaneko's boy, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"We heard about what went down in LA. Our condolences. He was a great man."

He gave a nod. It was a sore subject for me as well. That night in the alley, I wished I could take it back. I usually am not one to regret what I spew but whatever I said to Kaneko is another burden I'm gonna carry all my life.

"Also heard about your crew busted the Brotherhood? You were the mastermind behind it right?" Carl said as he crossed his arms.

"As much as I would love to take the credit, it was Lexi who came up with the plan." Colt said his eyes darted towards me, gauging my reaction.

"The newbie? Heard she drives like the wind-"

Hearing her name felt like an iron fist clenching my heart. That name will always be the source of my happiness, my cherished memories and my melancholy.

"Colt let's take this to the backyard, shall we?" Logan spoke up, interrupting them.

He walked to the back door and Colt followed him wordlessly. It a sunny day but a cool breeze blew which provided some kind of relief.

I reached to take out two beers from the cooler and handed him one. Colt raised an eyebrow.

"Beer... At ten in the morning?"

I shrugged as I popped the bottle cap off mine. "It's 5pm somewhere else."

"That's true too. Cheers." We clinked the necks of our bottles and took a sip as we sat down on the patio chairs.

I turned towards him. "So what brings you to Detroit?"

"To see your pretty face?" Colt said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

I snorted. "Always knew you had a thing for me, pretty boy."

"Always knew that you had an ego the size of Jupiter, dickhead. Some things just don't change."

I sighed. "Can't say the same for me through. Everything is different now."

Surprisingly, Colt didn't mock him. He stared down at the bottle in his hands. "Yeah... I can understand. How are you holding up?" He asked as he turned to face me.

I took a huge gulp of my beer before responding, my eyes staring at the mango tree in my neighbor's back yard.

"Not too good. It's been hard for the last couple of months. Kaneko's death, leaving LA and maintaining a low profile... It's been tough."

Life without Lexi is tough.

"Yeah I can understand. I still imagine pops opening the door to wake me up. And don't get me started on the FBI... bunch of bloodsuckers." He muttered the last part.

I snorted. "I'll drink to that."

"Good thing they are off our backs now." Colt spoke eyeing him from the corner of his eyes.

I scoffed. "Bitch please. They are anything but lazy. They are gonna continue hunting us down till the end of time."

"I meant that we are not the top priorities at the moment. Sure Mona was sent to jail but, a little birdie told me that they are after this 'world class' thief at the moment."

"That's a relief I guess."

"Do you know what this means?" He asked taking another sip of beer.

"It's too early for my brain to function. Come to the point, asshole."

"We are rebuilding the crew, dickhead."

My eyes widened. "No way."

"Yup." He said popping the 'p'. He downed the remainder of his beer before standing up. "I'm done repairing the garage. We have a job in two months and I need a crew for that. I already have Ximena on board and now I'm gonna go over to Toby's."

My mind was swimming. Mercy Park Crew was coming back for good.

I looked up at him, suddenly nervous. "What about Lexi?"

He rolled his eyes. "When I said I'm rebuilding the crew, I also meant recruiting Lexi, dumbass."

Oh god.

She is going to come back.

I was frozen in my place once again. I had often asked myself how I would react if I got the chance to meet her again. I always imagined that I would let out the loudest cheer and dance like a mad man.

But this is reality and my thundering heart was a reminder of that.

"Why are you sitting there with your mouth open like a fish? Go! Get your girl."

And that was it. I rushed to my room, put on some decent clothes and haphazardly stuffed my things into my satchel. Grabbing my keys and yelling a quick good bye to Raven and Carl, I was out and in my 2005 Devore GT.

Reving the engine I took off on the roads of Detroit, heading for the highway.

The window was open and the breeze threaded through my unruly hair, making me feel alive. My hands clutched the wheel and my foot pressed down on the accelerator, speeding through the empty streets.

For the first time, in a very long, the roads which felt like a never ending maze for me, were the very ones which were the path to my freedom.

The path to my happiness.

The path to my Lexi.

I hope you liked it 😊

Logan x mc: @kaavyaethanramsey @openheart @skylarklyon @shadowycreatorpaperopera @pixelberryownsme @magicalshepherdtreeprofessor @anotherbeingsworld​

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#anushka writes #logan x mc #logan rod #ride or die #ride or die: a bad boy romance #choices rod #rod choices #rodaw #rod appreciation week #colt kaneko #rod colt #choices stories you play #choices stories we play #choices #pixelberry #playchoices #rodappreaciationweek

[blastyboisbitch]

Thinking Out Loud || Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

It’s been a while since I’ve written any one shots...be gentle with me ; ^ ; Edit: updated 10/5 after a beta read ~

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ouch - !”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N!”

For what felt like the hundredth time that night, Izuku apologized, bowing his head low as you sat down on a nearby couch with a sigh to nurse bruised toes hidden beneath your school slippers. “It’s alright. Can we take a break?”

“Yeah, alright…I should watch that video again…” Embarrassed, the verdant haired student mumbled as he drew away to grab a water bottle from the table nearby, his phone already in hand. 

You two had been at it for a couple of hours now with no improvement – on either end. Izuku had clearly stated, even while offering to help you, that he didn’t have any experience. With no other offers at the time (besides Mineta, who was quickly silenced by Sero and Denki), the two of you had hoped that his enthusiasm would make up for the lack of experience. 

Hope seemed futile, however. At least according to your aching feet.

You sat back, stretching your legs out in front of you as you took a long drink from the water you had procured. It was late in the evening and the dorms were quiet as you two sat in the silence, green curtains drawn over the arched picture windows to the darkness of the outdoors. 

“It’s getting late and I know we’ve got class early...but can we give it one more shot?” Izuku might have been even more determined than you were, or maybe at this point it was just that he was just stubborn. “I think I’ve got it now.” Your classmate held up his phone as a ‘waltzing for idiots’ video flashed on the screen, and you nearly choked on your water.

“Alright. Once more and then we’ll call it a night.” Trying to act appreciative, you just barely stifled a wince when you stood to join him.

Hesitantly, Izuku’s scarred right hand gently tucked itself just below your left shoulder blade, and the left found its place cupping your right hand while partially extended from your bodies. His palms weren’t sweaty, thankfully, but their clamminess was not exactly the most pleasant.

“At least it wasn’t Mineta.”

Even stranger was the fact that not once while he was holding you had he made eye contact through the entire ordeal. Every time you looked to try and catch his gaze, his wide green eyes were consistently focusing on where his feet were. Izuku was determined to do things exactly as it was shown in his video – and it was killing your feet.

Everything seemed to line up perfectly while the two of you were still, and even into his first step forward with his left foot and your first step back with your right this time. But after that, everything fell apart. Into the second step and partial turn, Izuku’s right heel caught your ankle and effectively stopped his rotation, causing the both of you to trip as you moved to swing toward him.

For all the times you didn’t end up sitting on the floor, it was the last one that did you both in. Izuku released his hold on your torso and hand on the way down in an unsuccessful attempt to prevent you from falling with him. You couldn’t help the exhausted groan that slid past your lips, pinching the bridge of your nose with your free hand. Your classmate was quick to untangle his legs once he realized what happened – again – and once more he apologized profusely, obviously upset over the blunder.

“Maybe Mineta wouldn’t have two left feet…”

“What the hell are you extras doing?” 

You shook yourself of the idea of even allowing the other student near you, just in time for your attention to be drawn to the doorway. Fresh from pro-hero training it appeared, Katsuki casually leaned against the door frame with his bag draped over his shoulder. How long had he been there?

“K-Kaachan!” Izuku stuttered, shocked by the sudden appearance of his ‘friend’. On a typical day, it wasn’t uncommon for the blonde to already be sleeping within the confines of his dorm room. “W-we were just…Y/N asked for help -”

“Dancing. Ballroom waltz, to be specific.” You finished the sentence that Izuku was caught up in, brushing a hand through your hair as you watched him carefully.

Carmine colored eyes darted from Izuku – who’s hand was at the back of his neck as he stood, mumbling to himself - to you. You felt the heat rise in your cheeks when his gaze refused to falter, and you looked away first, closing your eyes and leaning forward onto one knee. You knew it was bad, but bad enough for Katsuki to call it out? 

“Tch. You call that a waltz?” You looked back once more to him at the call out, preparing for what would probably become an argument. But as you did, you could have sworn a shadow of curiosity and questioning graced sharp features, before being masked once more with nonchalance and indifference.

“My oldest brother is marrying his partner in a few weeks…” You didn’t owe Katsuki an explanation. Yes, he was your classmate. But in your mutual - and final - year at UA after you transferred into the hero course, you’d had very few actual interactions with the explosive man. He was always too busy, for everything and everyone except himself, it seemed. At least you might look like less of an idiot if you tried.

“Our mom died a few years back. She can’t be there, but I can, and I wanted to make sure he could still have his “mother”-son dance…” You’d planned the surprise with the help of your soon to be brother-in-law, right down to the last detail - the slideshow of old videos playing in the background, the song, everything - except for how you were going to learn how to do a simple waltz in a matter of weeks.

Your line of sight dropped back down to your slippers, and you smiled. One way or another, you’d figure it out. Right? And worst case scenario, you’d make a fool of yourself in front of your family who already knew you well enough that it didn’t matter. It looked like that was going to be the case.

Nearby, Izuku fisted his phone in one hand, stepping forward to attempt to apologize – but the sound of a school bag, heavy with god-only-knew-what, hitting the hardwood floor caught you both off-guard.

You looked back up to find Katsuki rolling up his long sleeves even as he glared your direction. 

“Wait, what are you doing?” You raised an eyebrow and stared incredulously as he stepped up to you, extending a hand to help you up from the floor. 

“Tch…dumbass, do you want to learn, or not?!” Your feet were sore. You were exhausted, not just with the failure, but just with life in general. And here was Katsuki-fucking-Bakugou – one of the big three of UA - offering to teach you how to waltz.

You took his hand willingly, a heady combination of burnt sugar and spice filling your senses as he pulled you up in one swift movement. His touch was firmer than Izuku’s, an absolute confidence that the other didn’t have. You had little time to protest as your face was suddenly only inches away from his broad chest, warm hands taking the same positions that his classmate’s had been before - beneath your left shoulder blade and cupping your right hand extended from your bodies. Involuntarily, your free hand caught his shoulder, and the muscle beneath his shirt tensed with the sudden contact.

“That shitty nerd wouldn’t know the first thing about how to dance if his life depended on it,” Katsuki remarked, flashing an annoyed glance over to Izuku standing nearby and fumbling with his phone at his friend’s remarks. He didn’t contest what they all knew, an embarrassed smile crossing his face. But at least he’d tried, right?

“It’s ok Izuku. Thank you for trying to help!” At the very least, you were appreciative that he had tried. That was what mattered in the long run, right? Taking it as his cue to leave, the green-haired male removed himself from the room, and left the two of you to your devices.

For all of the piss and vinegar that seemed to be the outer layer that was Katsuki Bakugou, the coming weeks proved that there was more to him than met the eye. Harsh words and sweaty, long practice sessions into the dead of the night - some even outside in the cool, damp grass when the dorm was occupied - gave way to unexpectedly gentle touches as he first taught you how to follow, and then to lead – a secret kept between the two of you, because what man in their right mind would allow a woman to lead.

It’d come out fairly early into your sessions that not only had his mother had him take music lessons as a child, but also dance lessons. And if there was one thing Katsuki was good at, it was excelling at everything he did. He would be the best, regardless of the task, because that was who he was. Ballroom waltz? It was the easiest thing in the book, as he berated you for not knowing even the basic steps. With a partner who knew what they were doing however, it was much easier for you to get past those first two steps and move on to the more complicated ones.

At first, you thought you felt nervous around him. Your hands shook with every touch; your voice, trembling against every order you mentally gave yourself not to. And to say your stomach was in knots wasn’t even close to describing how excessively anxious you were. But it swiftly morphed into something more behind your back - stolen smiles behind closed doors, laughing together in private over the stupidest things that didn’t involve dancing, and praise just when you needed it most. You soon found that you couldn’t help that every heartbeat felt like an explosion when you were with him. An unkind metaphor, you found yourself thinking.

The day of your brother’s wedding came quicker than anticipated. You were a bundle of nerves once more, dolled up for the occasion - but despite that, you were more than confident when you finally walked out onto that ballroom floor. You’d only had a few chances to dance with your brother in the few days leading up, passing it off as just wanting to practice for his first dance with his partner. Every lie told was worth it in the end when the videos that came on in the background left the poor groom a sobbing mess. ‘Awe’s’ and applause filled the room as you led your brother a bit slower than your normal pace with Katsuki, unable to hide the smile that graced your face as you caught sight of your plus-one for the evening with the biggest shit-eating-grin, right up in front of the crowd – observing his hard work paying off.

By the time it was said and done, you and your sibling were both a sobbing mess, the woman smiling down from the enlarged video on the white screen nearly your spitting image. It was all surreal, in a sense. After receiving long hugs from both your sibling and his partner, you left them to do their thing, joining your own ‘partner’ off to the side. You couldn’t stop smiling. And it was contagious.

“See. You did fine, idiot.” Katsuki didn’t often smile in public, but with his hands in his pockets, he praised you in his own way, glancing back out to your family and then bringing his attention back to you.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, ‘Tsukii.” Using a napkin, you carefully dabbed at your under eyes, hoping to remove the last traces of any smudged makeup. “You know, you’d make a good teacher for UA, someday.”

In the dim lighting it was hard to tell, but you swore that there was a pink-tinge to his cheeks as he brushed your compliment aside.

“Tch...stop talking nonsense, dumbass.” You couldn’t help but grin at him while tucking the napkin in your hand into a pocket to dispose of later, before boldly slipping a hand into his pocket to lace your fingers through his. He flinched but didn’t push you away – instead, holding the hand you’d given him a bit tighter as his gaze focused away from the situation at hand.

After a moment of standing there together, watching as others began celebrating the new union, you squeezed Katsuki’s hand gently. “We should show them how it’s done.” It wasn’t a question, or a request. It was a statement.

One that he eagerly took you up on as you pulled him out onto the dance floor.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou oneshot #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou fic #bnha #mha #bnha oneshot #bakugou imagines #mha x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou scenarios #bakugou fluff #mha oneshot #implied fem!reader #fem!reader #bakugou x fem!reader #swearing