#me only giffing this scene because everything else about the episode is just too painful

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello all :) I wanted to post this yesterday but had some technical difficulties. Also thank you to all those that have liked, commented or reblogged my reviews. Very Encouraging so thank you. Glad to have you all along with me. As always will credit all gif usage at the end.

Onward we go to 1x03 'The Good the Bad and the Ugly.'

Tim is back on duty after his gun shot wound. He’s is not ready physically and most definitely not emotionally. Despite that all Lucy is glad to have him back riding with her. Tim replying like early S1 Tim would in regards to her being glad he's back. Reserved and Cocky.

They Get their first call of the day at a bank with a man trapped behind an ATM wall. Tim takes charge like he doesn't have a wound in his side. Keeps going till he's grimacing and in major pain.

Theme of Tim Bradford in the early days. Man doesn’t ask for help. Ever. So when he’s hacking at that wall he’s trying to prove to himself he’s fine. The gunshot wound doesn’t affect him. When his body is telling him otherwise. Instead of asking Lucy to help to him he barks at her asking why he’s doing this and not her. S1 Tim you’re so rough around the edges my love. Don’t you worry Lucy is gonna soften those edges slowly but surely Haha

After Lucy fails a mini Tim test (gif set I just could not seem to find) Of him stealing her duty belt because she didn't secure the bathroom properly. He receives a phone call about Isabel OD'ing. Another set I could not find is Isabel basically ripping into Tim. Telling him to leave her alone to ‘Save your tough love for someone else’ and boy does he ever.... Lucy gets quite the helping in this episode.

We know he is very much no where close to being 'Okay' After his convo with Isabel he is out of control angry. Doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. Too damn blinded by his hurt. It shows in their next call with the biker gang. By putting not only his healing self in danger but Lucy. He’s so desperate for help but refusing to ask again. So instead he implodes. Fights a biker gang prospect. Searching desperately for an outlet for his frustration/anger. Doing it in the worst way imaginable. He’s in so much pain he cannot see straight. Poor Lucy can only stand there and watch him self destruct. Luckily he wins the tussle but it comes at a cost.

In s5 Tim bringing up his past with Isabel to Lucy. This is what he's referring to. How it cost him nearly everything emotionally. Unless you watch s1 recently you forget how badly he was burned. How she utterly wrecked him. Watching her destroy him with a 2 min convo hurts to watch. He was adrift in his emotions and drowning at a fast pace. He needed a life line so badly. He had no idea that life line would show up in the form of Lucy Chen. The Ray of sunshine that challenges his ass and puts him in place like no one has before.

By the time they get back to station she's crawling out of her skin with worry for Tim. She has no idea what she should do if anything. He is her superior officer after all but he's also endangering them both. By the time she gets their "suspect" into booking Tim is still in a bad head space from his convo at the hospital. Checking out NARCAN clearly for Isabel. They pull up to Isabel's apt and Lucy is restless in the car when he tells her to stay put. She can't take it any longer and jumps out to confront him.

She takes a deep breath and starts her fight to save Tim's sanity. To keep him from going completely off the edge and taking her with him. That’s what makes what Lucy does in this scene so incredible. One she's barely 3 weeks at best into her working relationship with him and two It was like fighting the sun with Tim in s1. She not only stood up for herself she put him in his place. He had been encased in his emotions so long he lost clarity completely. He couldn’t see past his pain. So she took a stand and won.

The biggest part of this moment is he concedes, listens and lets her take control of the situation. Has her run the NARCAN up to Isabel. I can’t even begin with how massive this is. This obstinate, grumpy man who would scare most rookies into washing out didn’t stand a chance against Lucy Chen. Its one of the main reasons he falls in love with her. She challenges him and rights him when he’s on the worst path. That look of defeat and resignation on his face. He know's he in the wrong and can't fight her anymore on this. Eric once again crushing it. Killing me softly good sir. His face says it all.

This following scene back in the shop is underrated and beautiful. Something about Lucy draws out his vulnerable side whether he likes it or not. The crack she started in ep 2 continues its growth in this ep. Her standing up to him, laying down boundaries and bringing him back to earth earned her this moment with him. Tim opening up to her. Sharing what I'm sure no one else has heard.

The most beautiful part is she’s doing it for more than the fact he’s her T.O. She cares about him as a person. He's realizing this and its why he's opening up to her right now. He's baring his soul to her and there couldn't be a better person to accept it. Why she follows up the way she does. Lucy is very aware how precious the information that is being shared with her is.

Her telling him about her apt is her olive branch back. It’s not much in the grand scheme of things just looking at this conversation. Telling him this as her reply. But it means the world to him. She knows this which is why she lets him know her apt is decent. It’s what he needs to hear.

Listening to him let out the deep breathe and tell her ‘Thanks’ it’s a loaded thanks. It means so much more than that single word, but once again this is s1 Tim so the fact she’s getting this is big. Its what he needs to hear in order to to be able to drive away from her apt. She's given him peace of mind to be able to do so.

We barrel towards the end of the episode. Tim and Lucy chasing one of the two remaining suspects. They corner him and once again just like at the beginning of the ep Tim can’t ask for help. He physically can’t climb the top of that truck. Lucy knows this and helps him out. Saying it would be ‘good for her training’ for her to do it. Tim goes along with it because his pride can’t handle it otherwise. She conducts herself flawlessly of course.

She’s so proud of herself and he can’t allow her to see he is too. He’s already been too ‘soft’ today for her. He always defaults back to being the hard ass whenever he opens up in the very beginning with her because S1 Tim be S1 Tim.

~~~~

Side Notes non Chenford.

I love Grey taking Tim out for a drink. Poor man needed it so much.

Talia being soft for the train burglar and his son.

Not much side stuff to mention this was a pretty heavy Chenford building ep and I’m happy with that.

Please like/comment if you can I love it when people do either hehe

Gif Credit To

Chenfordsbee

Chenfordsource

Chenfordgifs

#Caitlin rewatches the Rookie #chenford #chenford hiatus #the rookie #Tim Bradford #Lucy chen #1x03 The good the bad the ugly #s1 #tim x lucy #Eric winter #melissa o'neil #summer rewatch #otp: doing my job #chenford nation #tim bradford x lucy chen

[goldenteaset]

Stampede!Legato's Charm Points

...A not-comprehensive list of blatant squee for the @tristampparty.

I enjoy every version of Legato (which feels like saying "water is wet"), but Stampede's version in particular feels dazzling, like looking into the sun for too long. And if you couldn't tell from that description and looking at other people's reactions, especially toward his looks, this is very much me "proselytizing" in his favor. (Or finding like-minded people!)

Under the cut because I couldn't contain myself. XD

Charm Point the First: How He's Framed (...Mostly)

(The big zipper on his coat is also cute by the way)

Studio ORANGE made a fascinating choice with Legato for Stampede s1: his face is either in shadow, or at various angles that highlight how striking he is, usually as seen from below. This forces us to either a) look deeper at what expressions we do see, or b) focus our gaze on everything else about him. So a win either way, really.

On the other hand, though: please let us see more of his face in S2 PLEASE

Charm Point the Second: His Hands

Self-explanatory, I know. But hands are an absolute pain to draw and I'm forever impressed with the sheer, insane detail the animators get across with Legato's. Look at this gif, you can actually see where he laughs when his wrist tilts! There's something so erotic and dangerous about how they're portrayed. Very very good.

Charm Point the Third: His Laugh

This Legato is a downright jolly fellow in some ways compared to the previous ones! His laughter is lovely, often low and soft and wicked. It makes every scene with him more fun for the viewer, because he's having fun.

Charm Point the Fourth: His Plantlike Complexion

One might even call it a "ceramic-like pallor". It has to be because of the Plant genetics Stampede's writer mentioned. It makes him even more Fair Folk-like and otherworldly, almost ethereal; it adds another creepy, "don't make that deal" layer to his scene with Wolfwood.

Charm Point the Fifth: His Legs

I could've picked a different shot, but no. This one illustrates the point rather well, I think. (In general, besides his stomach he's on his way to a male ballet dancer physique, which is a wonderful thing.)

Charm Point 5.9: Safety First!

Something about Legato doing nefarious deeds and still wearing a seatbelt is just...peak moe for some reason. 10/10.

Charm Point the Sixth and Seventh: His Nape/Hair

I love this shot so much uuuuuuu look at the lighting

Sometimes the sheer floppiness of his haircut in some screenshots undersells how neatly managed it actually is. Legato may not want people to talk about his hair, but he does take good care of it. It's sleek, it's out of his way (mostly), and I can't help but wonder if it's cut as short as it is in the back to avoid touching his skin... :(

Charm Point 7.5: His Waist

It's the part everybody critiques! Yes, he looks like a Ken doll with it being that narrow. Yes, I 100% think that's the point and Studio Orange will make us sad about it in S2. Moving on quickly so as not to dwell on it!

Charm Point the Eighth: His Voice

I'll be talking about his dialogue right after this, but really, that dialogue wouldn't land right without the perfect voices to match. Whether subbed or dubbed, Stampede!Legato manages to slide between cold elegance and zealous desperation with ease. (Also, again, That Laugh *happy shivers*)

Charm Point the Ninth: His Dialogue

While we sadly only see Legato in two episodes, I think they're still a great introduction to him. We're given just enough to understand why he conflicts with Vash and co., what his motives are (which he might explain too much, but anyway), and who he is as person. He's a human who fundamentally doesn't understand humans, least of all himself. I think he's drawn to Wolfwood and Livio's relationship specifically because he himself doesn't have a reference point for it. It fascinates him even as he hates it. And speaking of that...

Charm Point the Tenth: His Confusion About Love

I left this one for last because unlike the above, which are mostly fixed states, this one really could go in any direction. At the end of episode 6, Legato explains how he doesn't understand love and thinks it should "give way to devotion". This is interesting, to say the least, because past Legatos don't just lay things out that clearly, and neither do most characters in Stampede. There's practically a big neon sign blaring over this!

From my very biased standpoint, there's nothing more fun than when a character who looks like this *points at the above* disdains love that openly. That means that either a) Legato is being set up to never understand love ever, which is less interesting, or b) discover what love means to him. Will that end well? Poorly? Will Studio Orange give us enough string to make a cats cradle out of for our own entertainment? Who knows! It's all up in the air for now.

I just think that there's nothing more narratively thrilling than limitless possibilities and slowly winnowing them down, is all. :D

#legato bluesummers #trigun stampede #“Non-comprehensive” I say while running through his character design with a fine-toothed comb #I didn't cover the outfit as much because we know it's going to change over time...so I assume “don't get too attached”

[stormyoceans]

Hehe, I will oblige: top 5 Vegas and Pete moments like it could be Vegaspete as a couple or them separately and if you want a non-KP ask: top 5 beverages?

I'm melting under this heat also, your thoughts would be a welcomed comfort!

THIS IS SO SWEET 🥺 and this heat really is unbearable, so please make sure to stay hydrated!!!

i already answered my top 5 vegaspete moments as a couple here, so im gonna go with my favorite scenes of them as characters!! (i wanted to make gifs too but it would take me ages to do them, i hope it's okay anyway ;;;;;;;)

FAVORITE PETE MOMENTS

1. pete smiling as he's about to get tortured by vegas in episode 10. that's my unhinged little boy who laughs at death in the face and will make the devil fall in love with him HE'S TRULY THE MOST CHARACTER OF ALL TIME.

2. pete resigning in episode 14. god this is such a MOMENT, because yeah, this is pete choosing vegas, but it's also pete choosing himself, choosing to put his mask down for good, to finally put his own needs above anyone else's and be true to his feelings. this is the culmination of pete's journey as a character and it's so satisfying to watch.

3. pete fighting porsche and then volunteering to go to the minor family's house to clean up porsche's name because pete trusts him in episode 10. JUST PETE BEING THE MOST COMPETENT BADASS he will do his job and won't let his emotions get in the way of work, but then he will go and sacrifice himself at the altar for the same friend he had to fight just minutes ago. THE MOST!!!!!! CHARACTER!!!!!!

4. pete speaking up for porsche's sake and telling kinn he has to be patient and calm with porsche in episode 5. like.. he didn't have to say that!!!! he answered kinn's questions and kinn was leaving, he could have left it at that, but he knew his friend was suffering so he had to help even if kinn could have punished him for not staying in his place!!!! SOBBING BECAUSE HE IS TRULY THE BEST OF FRIENDS.

5. pete breaking down at the safe house in episode 13. this is so incredibly painful to watch so i didn't know if it would make the list since there are other moments i adore, but i just love how we finally get to see what pete is truly thinking and feeling.

FAVORITE VEGAS MOMENTS

1. vegas cooking for pete in episode 13 aka the malewification of vegas theerapanyakul. LISTEN. he was just!!!!! so HAPPY to be cooking for pete!!!!! all he wants is to love pete and take care of him and give him everything. MAKES ME INSANE.

2. vegas doing what he does best in episode 10: manipulate manwhore and manslaughter. i feel bad for tawan but the way vegas used him and then got rid of him without blinking an eye is [CHEF'S KISS].

3. everything about vegas in episode 14. LOOK I KNOW THIS IS CHEATING I JUST CANNOT PICK ONLY ONE MOMENT. vegas saying he won't let anyone hurt pete?? vegas sauntering into the main family's house guns blazing?? vegas saying 'but i still can't figure out where to shoot first. head. chest. or the heart.' to kinn?? vegas pointing his gun at pete but then lowering it immediately?? vegas seeing his father dead on the ground?? vegas breaking down?? UGH HE WAS JUST SO GOOD IN THIS EPISODE.

4. vegas saying 'riposa in pace' (rest in peace) to the italian don in episode 7. no this isn't my italian's ass being biased what are you talking about. actually everything about vegas in episode 7 was GREAT too HE NEEDS TO STOP HAVING SO MANY GOOD MOMENTS.

5. vegas bringing the little bag of goodies to pete and pol during their stake out in episode 6. HE IS SUCH A LITTLE SHIT I LOVE HIM (but seriously i love that you can clearly see he has this lighter side of him where he enjoys joking and bickering and messing with people in a more 'innocent' way)

FAVORITE BEVERAGES (yeah im doing this one too sfjksgfj)

1. WATER. i know this is the most boring answer but i truly never appreciated cold water more than in this god damn heat.

2. cappuccino. there are 40 °C outside and i still refuse to give it up.

3. tea. literally any kind of tea. you can have it hot, you can have it cold, and there are so many type you can drink a different one every day.

4. campari spritz. im not really a cocktail kind of gal but in this heat a good spritz is everything.

5. black coffee. look. i got insomnia. a woman gotta stay awake somehow (but i also enjoy the taste and the intricate italian rituals that go with it).

#OH GOD THIS GOT SO LONG IM SORRY #but thank you so much for asking!!!! #hope it can be somewhat interesting even without gifs!! #vegaspete #m: ask #star-inhereyes

[aceofwhump]

I'm sorry if I sounded impatient or rude or anything, my Tumblr has been acting up all week and I just really thought it ate my Ask because it was too big or something. I totally understand the computer problems though, all too well. Sorry that happened.

I can’t believe other kids did it too. I’m still so shocked, I don’t know how to process that. It’s sooooo good to hear.

Dude, I’m currently obsessed with ‘Kevin (Probably) Saves The World’ and that’s where all my giffing is going into right now (if tumblr ever fixes the tags so my sets actually show up XP), I love it soooo much! And it’s so much fun to gif. X) And YES those gifs by whumpypepsigal are literally what got me here; I had no idea there was a whump community until I saw those amazing ‘Raising Dion’ sets and I found you all through that! I’m so thankful for that person for those sets. I had actually wanted to start writing fanfiction again for ‘Raising Dion’ specifically to whump Jason and to fix what they did with his character. XP Ahhhhhh and yes ‘The Event’ whump is sooooooo good I love Jason in there like AHHHH!!!!! His whole storyline in that episode is so fantastic I watch it over and over again and just live in content. XD Gosh but I could go on and on about Jason. :P

My sister is the only one that knows about me too, and she doesn’t fully understand it either, but she doesn’t judge me for it for now so I’m just holding on to that. If my mom knew, she’d probably think I was possessed by a demon or something for being sadistic. It’s really scary to think about. I’m really glad I can come here and chat with you about it and not feel alone.

Okay, so I’m a little confused; I looked up ‘Sexual Attraction’ and everything I read says it means ‘you find someone hot or pretty or attractive’, so I definitely have that with actors, but then other sites say it’s ‘wanting to have sex with that person’, which I definitely do NOT have. So am I asexual or am I not? And literally everything you described about Arousal is exactly me (especially the ‘TMI’ part, I’m really thankful you described it that way because I couldn’t possibly know how to describe it but it’s amazing to see it in words), so I’m confused again; if I’m not asexual and I still have these arousal feelings from whump, does that make me a sadist after all? I’m sorry if these are embarrassing questions to ask, I just don’t know who else to ask, and all my googling has been very confusing and not helpful. I find many, many actors hot and that’s what makes them whumpees for me, especially if they have really good screams or pained noises. And an equally attractive pained face. I’m really scared that I am a sadist.

It’s okay if you don’t want to answer these questions, I guess it’s kind of weird. I'm sorry.

Oh no you didn't! Not at all! Tumblr eats asks alllll the time so it's a legit concern :) We're good! Yeah my computer is super old so it gets temperamental sometimes and I can't afford a new one. Plus this one still has windows 7 and i love windows 7 lol. So I can just be slow sometimes to answer.

Nice! No one has ever even heard of Kevin Probably Saves the World but it was so good and I'm so bitter it was cancelled!! God Jason Ritter whump is the best. I love it.

Same! Doesn't get it but doesn't judge. It's nice. She's a writer who focuses on fluff but she now comes to me when she needs help with a whump scene lol. And omg yes my mom would be the same! She already thinks I'm a massive weirdo and a little fucked up based solely on what kinds of things I watch. If she knew my whump love I'd definitely be sent to therapy. So I totally understand that particular fear.

Oh god yeah it's all very confusing for sure. I do have a whole tag for asexual related things if you wanna check that out: https://aceofwhump.tumblr.com/tagged/asexual

That definition of sexual attraction always confused and bothered me when I see it on sites because I feel like that's not exactly it. So I think I'll start with a few definitions and explanations which I think might help.

For starters, sexual attraction and arousal/sex drive are two separate things. One can feel arousal without any sexual attraction and vice versa. Your sex drive and arousal is just your body going "I want sex". Sexual attraction is "I want sex with that person". Arosual can happen when your body is stimulated and doesn't have to have anything to do with attraction. Just like you can be attracted to someone but not have the drive to sleep with them.

Secondly asexuality is experiencing little to no sexual sexual attraction. That's it. That's the only "requirement". You might have a high libido/sex drive or no libido. Doesn't make a person any less or more ace. Personally I have a fairly high libido but absolutely zero attraction. So I just take care of myself and I'm good. Some asexuals choose have sex without feeling sexual attraction.

And there are different types of attractions. Sexual, romantic, sensual, aesthetic, and more. Sexual attraction: I want to have sex with that person. Romantic attraction: I want to date that person. Sensual attraction: I want to hold their hand or cuddle with that person. Aesthetic attraction: that person is pleasing to look at. Platonic attraction: I want to be friends with that person.

The hard part, at least for me, is figuring out which of them you are feeling in the moment. And a lot fo times these overlap with each other too which makes things confusing as well. I most often feel aesthetic, platonic, and sensual attraction. I do not feel sexual or romantic hence why I identify as asexual and aromantic.

Sexual attraction makes zero sense to me to be honest. I don't get it. People have described it to me but it's not an easy thing for people to describe cause they just feel it and know what it is. The best way I can describe it as when allos (people who are not under the asexual umbrella) see someone they find sexually attractive then those feeling like we get with whump. Like they'll look at someone and "think damn that person is hot and I would like to have sex with them" and the physical feelings happen at the same time. The word hot is used literally because attractive people make them feel hot. Which I definitely don't get lol. I don't know about you but that has literally never happened to me in my life. So sexual attraction is the "I want to have sex with this person". The "finding someone hot or pretty" is much more aesthetic attraction. You can find someone beautiful and not want to have sex with them. My whumpees are all people I find hot aesthetically. Any time I say a character/actor is hot I mean aesthetically. I like to look at them like I enjoy a nice sculpture or painting. I do not want to have sex with a painting. That sounds like you too.

As for sadism, I can't speak too much about this because I am not one but as I understand it, sadists derive sexual pleasure from inflicting pain on others. There's nothing wrong with that as long as you and your partner are both consenting to whatever you do in the bedroom. Lots of people enjoy that. It's not bad. If you wonder if you're a sadist ask yourself and reflect on whether this fits with you. For example, with myself cause I also wondered the same thing, in my actual life i do not like hurting people, I don't find anything sexually pleasing about hurting others so I am not a sadist. But I do want to make it clear that there isn't anything wrong with being a sadist! It all comes down consent. If you and your partner are consenting amd happy then you're good! You do you!

Honestly when it comes to whump, the way I see it is if you view it as a sexual thing than it is but if you don't think of it as sexual then it's not.

So me personally, I do not derive any sexual pleasure from whump at all. My feelings and sensations seem to be similar to what people experience with sexual attraction but I don't view whump as a sexual thing to me at all so in my head what I feel is not sexual attraction. What exactly it is I honestly don't know. I think that's why I love the term whumperflies. It gives this feeling it's own thing and I love that. There's no element of sex with whump to me at all. For some people there is though and that's totally cool! We all have our likes and dislikes and none are bad so long as we aren't hurting others (without their consent anyway ;) ).

In the end it's totally up to you how you view things. Based on what you've said it sounds a lot like me in that whump is not a sexual thing for you but rather you enjoy the aesthetics of it and the whumperflies ot gives you. But I'm not gonna tell you for certain because ultimately it's up to you to decide what you feel! I can offer advice and definitions and my own experiences though which I hope helps some.

So that was my very long slightly ramble response. I hope it's somewhat helpful 😅

#mod replies #ask #long post

[athenagrantnash]

Omg it gave me so much joy to see your post about Bathena and last nights episode! I missed all your theories, Bathena freak outs and thoughts! 💛 the last episode was SO good and the Bathena content was off the charts. I loved everything about it! Bobby supporting Athena, respectfully acknowledging Beatrice’s pain but calling her out on her unfairness to Athena, getting the letter box for Beatrice and their bonding moment, the rain scene on the porch with Athena was so intimate and sweet, literally all perfection!

Anyone else wonder what Athena was thinking when she first pulled up to the house surrounded by the cop cars and crime scene techs? Her voice was a little shaken and it had me wondering if, for a moment, she was wondering if something had happened to Bobby. She had left her mom at the hospital (or so it seems) so the only person left at home was him and it made me think she could be having flashbacks to when she went to identify Emmett’s body. She didn’t stop to ask the cop what was going on when she pulled up and flashed her badge, just started walking towards the scene until Bobby came out the door.

I do think that it’s likely that it’s Junior’s dad that is the murderer and hid the body at the Carters because he was already doing work there and it was an easy place to access that no one would think to look. That’s just my guess. No idea if Samuel knew anything but I’m leaning towards no.

I’m really excited for next week! It’s going to be so good!

OMG Anon you're too sweet 🥺🥺🥺 Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

Also like? The fact that it was storming when Bobby and Athena were talking just made the scene even better. It took a beautiful intimate moment and made it all the more cozy and close and I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!

ALSO SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!! I did not even THINK about that parallel and now it's going to live rent free in my mind for FOREVER!!!! Somebody needs to gif this, PLEASE!

But also now that you've said it it's so obvious (and painful), because what ELSE would she be thinking??? Bobby was the only one still there, other than Junior, but it would probably be safe to assume he'd gone home around dinnertime. And obviously she wasn't going to be expecting the reveal that they found a body, so the only logical assumption was that Bobby had gotten hurt somehow.

And because there were that many police officers there and not just a paramedic team means that something criminal/violent happened.

And what makes it all the more painful is that she is already terrified she's going to lose her dad, who she just described as "the comfort". The one person who could have comforted her if the worst case scenario happened with Bobby... and he's in a coma and might never wake up.

ALSO ALSO ALSO

Now I'm headcanoning that when Emmett died Samuel immediately dropped EVERYTHING and flew to LA Because Athena needed him. Which is all the more touching because she'd said when Beatrice came to visit her right around when she met Emmett that "you couldn't get him to come here for five days" and it was a point of conversation about how to get him to come over there.

Well we have the answer: Samuel will come with Athena needs him.

And now add THAT to the fact that for a split second, Athena was probably terrified that she had lost Bobby. And this time, Samuel couldn't come - no matter how much Athena needs him.

OKAY NOW I ALSO NEED SOMEBODY TO WRITE THIS AU ENDING FOR THE EPISODE AND PARALLEL IT TO THAT BECAUSE THIS IS SO GOOD!!!

Also I definitely agree with you in regards to Samuel, Tanya, and Junior's dad. But I'm defintely excited for next week either way!

#ask me a question #911 spoilers

[garina]

Um.

Yep.

That was a thing that I watched with my eyeballs.

I am still trying to process episode 8. I may even have to go back and watch it again. It was so so good and fucked up (complimentary). So, this is probably going to be even less coherent than usual. And I am still blaming @kedreeva for the new fictional people living in my head.

Joyce sees RIGHT through Brenner' shit. She knows exactly whose fault this whole thing is, and she is not going to let him brush over that like it's nothing, or join forces with the guy who DUMPED A DUMMY OF HER SON'S BODY IN A QUARRY TO MAKE THEM THINK HE WAS DEAD.

Hopper is pretty badass while being tortured and interrogated, but selling out El was wrong. I mean, I get why he did it, he's trying to save as many people as possible, and Will is the one he's set his sense of self and mental stability on being able to save. And as I know from multiple gif and photo sets that El is in future series, I do wonder if she ever finds out about this betrayal.

Ok Nancy, Jonathan, I apologise. Your plan is only extremely dangerous, not totally suicidal. The scene with them methodically preparing is really cool. And the plan was pretty successful over all, they did far more harm to the demogorgon than anything else up to that point.

Poor Steve. Comes to apologise to Jonathan, finds Nancy there, but that's fine, it's fine... and then he sees she's hurt, and his concern for her plunges him neck deep into the deep shit the others have been wading through. And after a very understandable freak out, hero Steve emerges for the first time. Because while any sensible person would go with the run instinct, he goes back, which I would argue is harder than toughing it out. And he's pretty handy with that bat.

I wonder if it's just the extreme stress and the obvious parallels that are causing Hopper to relive all the trauma with losing his daughter, or whether there's something about the Upside Down that pushes bad memories to the surface.

The gate to the Upside Down remains deeply unpleasant and far too biological. It makes me want to burn it.

I don't know if the demogorgon was making a larder in the Upside Down library, or something worse that I absolutely do not want to know. The thing down Will's throat, the CPR scene, the glimpse of Barb, all of it nightmare fuel forever.

Dustin isn't wrong. Chocolate pudding would probably help with El's exhaustion, food = fuel and all that. Also just on an emotional level.

The whole thing with Mike and El and the Snow Ball conversation... ugh so cute. The way he doesn't doubt for a second that his mother would take her in as family. The way he offers Nancy as her sister like it's the amazing thing it is. The way he then panics and doesn't quite have the words to explain about not wanting to be her -brother-. The awkward kiss and the way El's face just lights up.

Yes! So many arseholes died! While El using her powers to straight up kill so many people is worrying (and accidentally summons the demogorgon)... they all REALLY deserved it. Especially creepy blonde woman. And then the rest of them get Demogorgoned. Hooray.

The scene where El seemingly dies broke me. The boys trying to fight the Demogorgon off with the slingsh... I mean wrist rocket. El finding some strength from somewhere to fucking obliterate it. The fact that the noise it makes is physically painful, Dustin and Lucas close their eyes as well as cover their ears... but Mike won't look away from El. He can't do anything else to help her right now, but he will Not. Look. Away. Because she's not alone, and he never wants her to be alone again.

So much trauma for everyone.

Happy hospital scenes. That include a slightly bemused Steve in the background. I am interested to know at what point he gets filled in on everything. I'm assuming Hopper concocted some kind of explanation for the parents for what the hell had been happening.

The tenderness and gentlesness of Joyce and Jonathan contrasted with the joyful exuberance of the Party. Who realise they need to reassure Will that the Demogorgon is very very dead. Will being happy and smiley and not scared to death.

More government spooks for Hopper. What do they say???

Jonathan picks Will up from the Wheelers rather than Will cycling home. Feels like it's as much to spend more time with Will as being protective (although it's obviously a factor)

Steve totally bought that camera and got Nancy to give it.

Everything was lovely and then Will went to the bathroom and NOPE DO NOT LIKE WTF.

Things I want more of: characters having more amazing realistic relationships and interactions, baby geeks geeking out, El, Joyce being Mom goals, Mr Carver the best teacher ever, El, Steve being an adorable dork and not a jerk, Nancy finding out who she is and what she wants, Hopper's investigative skills, El, El and Mike being cute together. Just more.

Things I don't want: CREEPY SLUG THINGS IN PEOPLE'S MOUTHS. WTF. NO. MAJOR NOPE. WTH. NO. DO NOT WANT.

I really don't do slugs.

At some point I might try to wrap up my feelings about Season 1 as a whole before I start on 2. This has been a ride.

#Stranger Things #s1e8 #spoilers #I am not ok #rambling and flailing #long post #I am absolutely doomed #hey kedreeva

[laylaskeating]

9-1-1 (2018 -) | 4.05: Buck Begins

#911 #911edit #userchuffed #tusernikki #usersamanne #tuserdi #gracieli #bbelcher #tvcentric #useroptional #cinemapix #filmtv #buddie #* #me only giffing this scene because everything else about the episode is just too painful? more likely than you think

[jonsa101]

Episode 3x14: A Reflection of How Max Stepped Into Love After A Season of Suffering

Gif credit @supagirl

Hey guys! I can’t believe the season finale has come and gone! I think my mind is just taking time to comprehend everything that has happened! Sharpwin is officially canon! As I’m typing this out, it feels strange writing a meta on the other side of things. Since season one, I’ve been writing metas about how these two belong together and making predictions about the trajectory of their relationship. Now, to be on the other side of things where I know longer have to do that because these two are finally together is kinda crazy. I feel so elated!

Now y’all, I’m not going to lie to you, I had a totally different meta planned out and that meta is still in my drafts. I will probably release it because it was a general review of the episode but I thought it was more important that I put this meta out first. When I was watching the finale live, I didn’t love it. I just didn’t. I loved that Max and Helen finally got together at the end of the episode but I had a major issue with how it unfolded. The issue my friends was this scene right here: 

Baby!!! When I tell you this scene TRIGGERED me, it did! Now mind you, I wasn’t upset with Max’s storyline of searching and struggling to take off his wedding ring. It is human nature for Max to still have an emotional attachment to his ring. He’s not still grieving but essentially that ring is the only thing he has left of Georgia and represents a life he once had. Him taking it off was always going to be a monumental moment for Sharpwin and for himself. The issue that I had was Max casually telling Helen that he freaked out about losing his ring!!! To me, after the voicemail he left her, after Helen flew standby and was in a six hour flight to see him, it was an incredibly CALLOUS thing for Max to say. I know Max wasn’t thinking in this moment. I know his intentions were clearly not to hurt her but words matter and him being careless with his was a complete disregard of Helen’s feelings. She was deeply hurt and upset when he said this and rightfully so! I mean just look at her expression here:

Helen’s entire being read like

“I can’t believe you”

And girl same, because neither could I!! He knew he fucked up and he obviously made up for it in the end but y’all when I was watching it live, everything that came after that elevator scene was was tainted for me. I had a hard time believing that Helen would let what he said slide so easily and in the moment, I couldn’t appreciate the beauty of them finally coming together! 😩 In my personal opinion, there were so many other ways that scene could have played out without Max having to literally tell Helen to her face that he was worried about his wedding ring! I know they were trying to build up to the “big moment” where he finally takes his ring off and runs back to Helen’s apartment but man, that moment did not sit right with me in my spirit! It still doesn’t and I don’t think my opinion will ever change on this.

With that said, I’ve now done several rewatches of the finale where I specifically watched the scenes after that awful moment by the elevator. As I’ve had time to reflect, my perspective has changed. I no longer view the moments after the elevator scene as tainted but as something deeply profound and beautiful. Hell, even as I reflect on that scene by the elevator, I still don’t like it, but in a way I understand it in how it relates to Max’s overall journey when it comes to Helen. To me, Max Goodwin is a man who fell deeply in love with Helen in the midst of the most complex situations and a season of him suffering. It’s been deep rooted, complicated and messy from the start and over the past three years we’ve seen Max navigate through the complexities of his feelings for Helen and the circumstances he’s found himself in on our screens. I think when you look at season three finale and specifically the journey of Max finally making a choice to be with Helen, you have to put into context Max’s history and how it influenced what that looked like. So y’all that is exactly what I want to do in this meta so let’s dive in.

One thing I think we need to acknowledge is that, even though as an audience we have loved seeing Max and Helen’s journey unfold, the road has been so TOUGH for them. As Helen said in 3x13, it’s been a fight! Especially for Max. The suffering he has endured over the past three years has been unfathomable and much of his relationship with Helen and his feelings for her have been developed under these traumatic and tragic circumstances. 

At the very beginning of the series, when Max and Helen first meet they clash but it doesn’t last for long. It’s his first day at New Amsterdam and as the new Medical Director, he wants her to stay at the hospital and treat patients instead of doing press tours. Helen on the other hand wants to continue doing press and for the most part ignores his demands for her to return to the hospital. When she finally does return, she does so because she learns that Max has cancer. This bonds them at the onset as Helen is the only person in his life that knows about his diagnosis. As an audience, when we first see them interact, we instantly saw the sparks fly between them. Their chemistry and natural witty banter made us immediately take a look at their relationship and what potential they could have in the future. Though we were shocked by his cancer diagnosis, I think the fun and lightheartedness of Sharpwin’s first interactions really masked how traumatic this must have been for Max. On the first day of his dream job, that he sacrificed his marriage for, he learns that he has cancer while having a baby on the way. Those are the awful circumstances that first bring Max and Helen together. 

As Helen becomes Max’s doctor and he swears her to secrecy about his diagnosis, their friendship and bond grows deeper. His passion and drive to help his patients, reignites Sharpe’s love for medicine again and inspires her to put her patients first. They become vulnerable with each other more than anyone else in their lives. He confides in her about his broken marriage and she tells him that she wants a baby. When he almost dies, she becomes his deputy medical director so that he can focus on his care. All of these moments are significant to them because somewhere along the way they develop feelings for each other. They didn’t plan for it and it’s something neither of them are consciously aware of but unknowingly, they both start to fill a place in each other’s lives that was clearly more than a doctor and patient relationship or a friendship. This “place” wasn’t called out until episode 1x16 were the clairvoyant called out their feelings for each other. When episode 1x17 comes around, after a night of revelations and a scramble to get the power back on in the hospital, Helen decides to step back as his doctor. If she wasn’t aware of her feelings before, in this moment, she’s fully aware of them now. This is an effort to safeguard her heart and set boundaries because the lines of who they are to each other were already so blurred. When she “triages” their relationship Max’s reacts badly and honestly they’re both devastated and are on the verge of tears:

As viewers, we loved this moment but when you peel back the layers of what’s actually going on in this scene, it’s gut-wrenching. The subtext is so clear here yet their situation is so complex and layered. We know for a fact that Max wasn’t trying to lose her in ANY CAPACITY. We also know that in the way he TRULY wanted her he couldn’t have her and Helen knew that too. Not when he was married, had a baby on the way, and fighting cancer at the same time. Y’all that’s hard and profoundly painful when you think about it and it makes this scene all the more tragic. 

When Helen steps back as his doctor, at first Max seems to be handling it well but as his cancer starts to get worse, he completely breaks. Like I said earlier, over the course of his cancer treatment, Helen filled a place in Max’s life that was so much more than just his doctor or his friend. So when he’s dying and no longer has the person he feels deeply for play an active role in his treatment, he lashes out. He’s dealing with a range of emotions he can’t handle or properly process. Things only get worse from there and at the end of season one Georgia and Luna’s life are on the line and Bloom and Helen scramble to save them. When it seems like everyone was able to come out of that traumatic event unscathed, they get into a devastating ambulance crash that changes everything. 

Season 2 brings another level of pain and suffering for Max when he loses his wife after the crash and is thrust into single fatherhood. Not only is he grieving but he’s also dealing with guilt of falling in love with Helen while he was married. The complexities of his feelings is something he struggles with throughout this season and it affects his relationship with Helen. At some points he pushes her away and at others he desperately needs her. Once again, Helen and Max’s relationship is caught up in the most complex of circumstances that is riddled with agony and trauma. 

By time we head into season 3, Max doesn’t even have time to breathe or think about his relationship with Helen because they’re both thrust to the frontlines of the pandemic. 

I bring all of this up again to emphasize that there has never been a time where Max and Helen’s relationship hasn’t been wrapped up in trauma or some sort of suffering. It has always been one thing or another with them. It’s been A LOT and Max has tried to navigate being in love with Helen through his suffering and under these crazy ass circumstances. So after rewatching the finale, the questions that run through my mind are:

How do you step into love when all you’ve known for the past three years has been suffering?

How do you love openly and freely when for so long you’ve emotionally suppressed your feelings for someone because it was “wrong?” 

How do you let go, heal, and move on with your life?

To me, answering these questions is what the season finale for Max was all about. When you’ve suffered so much and endured so much it’s not easy to step into a new chapter in your life that’s hopeful and filled with love and possibilities. For Max, I don’t think in his wildest dreams that he ever imagined that he and Helen would be in a place where they could actually be together. Considering everything they’ve gone through, quite frankly it’s a fucking miracle! So when he actually makes it to the other side and not only SURVIVES but has a chance for happiness, I don’t think he knows what he’s doing. Pursuing/having feelings for Helen from a place that isn’t wrapped up in trauma and tragedy, where there are seemingly no obstacles in his way, is totally and completely new territory for Max. I think he’s clueless in how to do that in the right way and as he navigates through that, naturally there are hiccups.

That’s evident with what he said by the elevator and also in this moment here: 

Max doesn’t have a clue but he wants to make sure that he doesn’t fuck it up because he DESPERATELY wants this! I also think there’s something to be said about how we as human beings can self-sabotage ourselves when we finally have an opportunity to get what we want. Fear, guilt, worthiness usually comes into play with that and I think for Max there was definitely a fear with moving on with his life, guilt of surviving it all and having a chance to be with the woman he’s loved for so long, and a question of if he’s worthy of actually having happiness.

Their walk in my mind perfectly embodies him self sabotaging while also trying to navigate his feelings of desperately wanting to be with her. At the beginning of their walk, you see that at one point he clearly wants to hold Helen’s hand but he doesn’t (I would use a gif here y’all but I literally only have room for 10 😩). I’m focusing my attention on Max here because essentially this whole moment between them is a part of Max’s “mini story” in the episode. The ball has always been in his court and truly what we are witnessing is his journey to step into love because Helen is ready and has been waiting on him. 

The most compelling moment in their walk scene for me was this one: 

I find it strange for Max to walk so far ahead when he was the one who asked her if he could walk with her. My first thought while watching it live was “what is he doing” and I think Helen’s expression reads the same way. After analyzing this for a bit, I genuinely think that’s the point of this scene. Like I said earlier, Max doesn��t know what he’s doing. To be with Helen like this is, where its romantic, peaceful and drama free is probably blowing his mind and he doesn't know how to navigate this. He doesn’t know how to receive this second chance at happiness. 

The internal war of Max stepping into love or allowing fear, guilt, and unworthiness to hold him back becomes all the more evident when they get to Helen’s door: 

He knows he wants to come in. Helen know he wants to come in too. This man literally says goodnight twice and when Helen responds with “you said that,” it perfects this scene. She wants him to come in as well but she’s not going to ask him to. In this moment, she sees his internal struggle and she knows that he has to make the choice himself on whether or not he wants to move on with his life with her.

When he walks away, for a moment that was Max choosing to hold onto the pain and trauma of his past. That was him choosing to hold onto the guilt that was keeping him from healing and moving on. With the suffering he’s been through, it makes sense. In many ways he’s been conditioned to fight, to suffer and to endure. It’s what he’s used to. But praise the lord, he thinks of the moments he just shared with Helen. 

The joy he has with just being in her presence. 

The opportunity he has to freely be with her and have a life with her after loving her for so long.

He is not condemned to a life of suffering. It was only for a season. He’s in love with Helen and wants to be with her. Like hell is he going to let this opportunity at a second chance of love and happiness slip away from him. So guys, he slips off that ring, runs back to Helen’s apartment and makes a choice to step into love. Step into this new, uncharted, chapter of his life with Helen Sharpe. 

Anyway guys! I hope y’all enjoyed this! I might be releasing one more meta but we will see how it goes.

As always feel free to reach out to me on Tumblr and on Twitter @oyindaodewale. Love you guys!

#new amsterdam #Sharpwin #Max Goodwin #Helen Sharpe #Max x Helen #sharpwin meta #new amsterdam meta

[vavuska]

Who changed Lola Bunny?

Malcolm D. Lee explained, “This is 2021. It’s important to reflect the authenticity of strong, capable female characters. … So we reworked a lot of things, not only her look, like making sure she had an appropriate length on her shorts and was feminine without being objectified, but gave her a real voice. For us, it was, ‘Let’s ground her athletic prowess, her leadership skills, and make her as full a character as the others.'”

(See the complete interview here: X)

So, gone are her curves, thigh-high drawstring shorts and midriff-baring crop top. Instead, Lola Bunny now takes on a sportier look wearing a more standard basketball vest and leggings under her track shorts.

But, let's see more deeply what determinated this choice:

1. Being mad at a fan art is sad, people.

Before, a sad 50 yo guy starts complaing about how "cancel culture" or "politically correct" ruined his life - Really? Changing a cartoon bunny from a movie you didn't see for a decade ruined your life? Wow. Someone should really review the list of their priorities -, let's see how really Lola looked in the 1996 original Space Jam.

Here we have original Lola Bunny:

(Here you can see all Lola's scenes in Space Jam: X)

Yes, Lola walked in a sexy way that show off her curves, or at least she seemed to have curves (a little breast, tight waist, long legs, bootie), but those are not big as in the fan art you are seeing around, and Lola's curves are not evidenced during the match or when she played. Is more her attitude and posture that made her look sexy. However, althought her curves clearly changes every time she is doing something different, from action to action, there are some scenes in which she is purposely made sexy, with saxophone music as soundtrack and male-gaze sections that ends in the same way, Lola surrounded by a bunch of horny and howling cartoon guys.

That's appropriate with Jessica Rabbit: she is purposely made and designed as a parody of the femme fatale from old hard boiler movies, in which attractive, mysterious women were portrayed as evil and manipulative gals who hide criminal intentions. Jessica, with her intentionally exaggerated body, subverted the misogyny of 40s and 30s detective movies: she is kind-hearted, truly loves her naive and goofy husband Roger and uses her powers (beauty and cunning) to protect him. Her body too is used for comic sketches, while this not happens for Lola, that's just a serious and indipendent basketball player. So, the male obsession for her body is out of place, expecially because she reacted with anger at being misconsidered only for being an attractive female bunny. “Don't call me doll” is her catch phrase. So, it seems strange she didn't react at all at the very sexualized presentation at the final basketball match: Lola simply shows her basketball skills, ignoring or accepting passively the reaction of the honey crowd of wolves around her. (Please, notice the association: Lola “admirers” are wolves, predators, while Lola, their object of desire, is a rabbit, a prey)

This is the cartoon version of cat calling: they are like a group of men who sit on their porches and whistle at girls everyday when they walk in from of them. A normal girl or woman would pass over this thing, even if they are bothered, unconfortable or embarassed, because they are more scared by a possible violent reaction of this whistling horny guys at their legitimate anger objections. But here, we are talking of Lola, a strong Looney Tunes bunny, and she could smash that damn basket ball on wolves' face, breaking all their teeth. That would be very a Looney reaction. But Lola doesn't react at all at this situation. Here, on my opinion, screenplayers missed an opportunity, but probably they thought to have already did too much with Lola's personality and “girl power”.

Remember also that Lola is the only young cartoon female character we see in the whole movie. So we can't do a proper comparison with other female relevant characters' rapresentation. (See here for a deeper analysis of Lola's origin and development: X)

However, compared with Bugs, Lola looks more fit, more humanized than Bugs. Lola has clearly a definited breast and booty, but it looks like is more her posture that makes them relevant. Lola has clearly shoulders back to show the rack. Bugs is anthropomorphic but remains an animal, has no shoulders or pectorals more like a human and looks a bit over-weight (fat belly). And his posture don't keep that stomach in, chin up, and march forward.

Lola, on the other hand, has a more human structure. That's why I say she has curves. An example are Mickey and Minnie who are two beans in the same way it is not that Mickey is a bean and Minnie has small tits, they are structurally alike.

Lola's body remembers highly No-Ribs-Jasmine from Aladdin (see the gif for reference). That unrealistic Barbie-like waist that was so popular in the 90s and 80s. (See here for references: X and X)

Now, we are changed a lot from the past 24 years. Barbies didn't have that impossible, unrealistic waist-line anymore, Disney princess concept has changed (see Merida and Moana).

Lola concept is changed in 2012: her design for the new cartoons is totally different and her personality too. She wear a blue or violet dress, almost flat-chested and she was made annoying and silly, just to make a contrast with Bugs smarter. Just like Daffy Duck is dumb as hell and his new girlfriend, Tina Russo (no more dear old Melissa Duck), is way smarter than him. Tina is tough, street-smart, rebellious and feisty. But we will see this thing in the next point.

2. People on the upper floors hated Lola personality.

Lola Bunny had only few lines in Space Jam, but she definitely passed the first impression that she was draw only for make male characters fall in love. Lola was a good basketball player and show it off, in front of a skeptical and then astonish bunch of cartoon guys and also Michael Jordan. She also had a strong personality and said it clear to Bugs she didn't like being called "doll". Lola was beauty and curvy, but not a cheerleader. Lola was a basketball player. Remember this part, because we will talk about basketball in the next point.

If at the box office Space Jam was a success, at Warner Bros there were those who turn up their noses, and they are important people, from the upper floors, who accused the film with Michael Jordan of having completely distorted the philosophy of the Looney Tunes. They blamed Lola Bunny more than everything else. Producers of Warner Bros said she was too perfect for the moody group of Warner cartoons: she was too sensual, provocative and independent, totally alien to that core of crazy characters that act as an exaggeration of the vices of 'man.

And fans hated her too. Chuck Jones, creator of the Merrie Melodies said: "Lola Bunny is a character with no future, she’s a totally worthless character with no personality."

So, Lola Bunny was deleted. Lola would make only some brief apparitions in some comics edited by DC Comics, in Baby Looney Tunes, in which she was a toddler with a very similar personality and resemblance to Space Jam adult version, and also as playable character in some unsuccessful videogames.

Years passed and projects for a sequel of Space Jam never become reality, so in 2003 Warner Bros relased Looney Tunes Back in Action. But Lola wasn't here, because the movie purposely want to make a deep cut with what we saw in Space Jam, according to what said it's director Joe Dante. This movie was a totally failure, but it gave back to Looney Tunes their craziness.

Years passed again, but this time is 2011, 10th of May on Cartoon Network was relased the second episode of The Looney Tunes Show. The series aimed to strongly relaunch the Looney Tunes, long gone from the glories of the past, updating the stories of Bugs Bunny and associates in a sitcom key, with the rabbit sharing a house with Daffy Duck in a suburb of Los Angeles. All interspersed with sketches by Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner done in CGI and the updated return of the Merrie Melodies. But the big news of the second episode is that LOLA BUNNY RETURNED.

And Lola was a character with some relevance within the series, even if something didn't seem right with her. Lola looked different, she was no longer the rabbit version of the femme fatale seen in Space Jam: she was naive, talkative, with her head in the clouds, crazy to the point of becoming Bugs Bunny's stalker. Bugs after having fallen in love with her at first glance understands on the first date that he absolutely can't stand Lola. She is no longer the Lola we used to know, even if the appearance is similar and the name is the same. Lola is effectively a Looney Tunes now. And the fans like her, the public like her, Warner Bros like her.

(See Lola in The Looney Tunes Show here: X)

But this is a big walk in behind from the indipent character we used to know in Space Jam. Lola was turned into the stereotype of the crazy girlfriend for a while. And this is not a surprise, if we remember that in 2012 were popular the "overly attached girlfriend" meme template. (See here for references: X)

However, in The Looney Toons Show Lola has some very funny moments, while in Space Jam she was more serious and a little out of space among the other characters. (See here for references: X)

3. What women wear when they play basketball?

Women's National Basketball Association was only created in 1996. So, women's basketball were not considered - and still is not considered - as important as men's basketball at the time Space Jam was filmed.

In Space Jam 2 there will be WNBA players with a significant role, for example Diana Taurasi and Nneka Ogwumike.

Professional female athletes aren't that curvy because curves are determined by body fat and they have a little.

As a busty volleyball player, I can say, dear people, breats could be very annoying during sport activities: it could be a pain, when you run or jump. That's because a lot of women wear sport bra to compress and support their breast. Sports bra may also include layered cups or a high neck to keep everything in place and protect from painful hits, so women can be safe and comfortable during workouts.

Female basketball players didn't wear crop-tops and tight shorts to play. They wear exactly what Lola wears in the picture above: long sleeveless tees, large shorts and maybe protective gears such as knee pads, sleeves or braces to reduce chronic pain caused by the immense burden put on the knees in basketball, to prevent bruises caused by collisions and hard fall and to provide support after a significant knee injury like an ACL tear. They could wear also compressive arms sleeves to help muscles that are sore or overworked to recover faster. The sleeve enables your blood flow to circulate quicker to the heart, which helps you heal and recover quicker.

Wow. WNBA wears Exactly what wear NBA players. So surprising.

4. This is only a promotional character sketch, not what Lola would look in the movie.

Space Jam 2 would be developed in CGI and there are a little preview frames going around, included one showing Lola jumping and you can see her breast shape. But she totally looks like a comic cartoon character. It's not humanized. It's not designed to be the sexy love interest. She doesn't look out of space among the others anymore, expecially because seems that there would be also Tweety's Granny and Melissa Duck or Tina Russo as players too.

5. Reality.

Really? You want a human anthropomorphic rabbit? Well, Lola as a rabbit would have something like six nipples, but no human-like breast. And, also, real life girls have ribs. No one in real life is that thin. Oh, well, if you don't considered Pixee Fox, a model who had surgically removed six ribs and wears daily a compressive bust corset (yes, like the one that made Elizabeth Swan faint in the first movie of Pirate of the Caribbean) to look like a cartoon fairy (Tinkerbell, you are the one to blame for this).

(See here for references: X)

In conclusion, we can say that all this controversy is based only on a porny fan art and that Lola “new” graphic isn't change too much from the original Space Jam movie. It's just a little more cartoonish.

We can also firmly remeber that Space Jam 2 is going to be developed for children, to relunch Looney Tunes among new generations of children, who are the largest buyers of merchandising (including Happy Meals surprises) and consumers of new cartoons that surely would be developed, if Space Jam 2 would be a success.

However, we should admit that those kids probably know better the 2011 version of Lola than her original version and that 2011 version was more appreciated by fans and producers. Lola's voice actress, Kristen Wiin won BTVA People's Choice Voice Acting Award in 2012 and was nominated for that prize also about three times in the following years. Also Rachel Ramras, Lola's voice actor was nominated for BTVA People's Choice Voice Acting Award in 2016 for her role in Looney Tunes: Rabbit Run.

We don't know anything about Lola's personality in Space Jam 2, so we can't do a proper comparison or a prevision, but, according to what Malcolm D. Lee said, we can assume that original personality of Lola would be preserved.

The controversy is relevant only for Lola's body and not for her personality, and that's is highly rappresentative of what impressed more this bunch of grow-up kids. They grow up to be like the horny wolves and they are howling because their prey is not available anymore.

And, to be honest, being so obsessed with the breast and the body of a cartoon character (that is clearly made up for kids) it's not sane at all. Sorry to say that, but sometimes people need to drink from a bottle of truth.

#vavuskapakage #lola bunny #space jam #the looney tunes show #looney tunes #bugs bunny #WNBA #wnba basketball #Pixee Fox #90s barbie #80s barbie #aladdin 1992 #Jasmine 1992 #Jasmine #tinkerbell #malcolm d. lee #Looney Toons back in action #chuck jones #joe dante #diana taurasi #baby looney tunes #nneka ogwumike #daffy duck #Melissa Duck #tina russo #overly attached girlfriend #Space Jam 2 #jessica rabbit #who framed roger rabbit

[wrenhyperfixates]

Loki Series Thoughts—Glorious Purpose

Ok, I’m always nervous about posting my thoughts, but here we go. Spoilers ahead of course!!! (Disclaimer: Any gifs or images are not mine.)

Let’s start out with the episode’s name: Glorious Purpose. I know some people were a bit miffed about the emphasis put on the line, but I actually thought it worked well. It’s not so much that Loki actually believes in this “purpose,” but rather he is clinging to what he’s been told his purpose is. And by the end of the episode, he’s finally working through some of the things he’s been hurt by, abandoning what he’s been forced into and ready to be who he wants. Granted, it’s still going to take some time for him to come to grips with all that has happened, but I’m excited to see the journey.

The TVA. They undeniably suck. Whether or not it will be addressed directly, they are the (or one of the) antagonists in the show. What they are doing is, frankly, tyrannical. Three “time keepers” have taken it upon themselves to force countless versions of time and people into one single stream. And you know what? They can’t control that timeline. Not like they want to. As much as Loki’s line about “the weak” applies to himself, it applies to the TVA, too. It’s a facade of control that they cling to; if they truly had the right, the ability, to control time, everyone would follow their path. There would be no variants. Now, I could write a whole separate analysis on the MCU’s explanation of time travel. It’s convoluted and in a large way doesn’t make sense.

I’d like to talk about Loki’s characterization. I am, in a word, relieved. From the trailers, Tom seemed to be over-acting, something rather strange for someone so good at conveying deep emotions through nuanced actions. Now I believe any exaggerated lines from the trailers are just Loki trying to separate himself from who he’s been told he is, and trying to reinvent himself. I don’t think that’s a bad thing either; they’re not rewriting Loki, he’s just growing in a new way. And though this way is “new” I think it will be similar to what we’ve seen before. From what we’ve seen so far, there is good continuity, and they are addressing things about Loki that should be addressed in canon.

Loki projects. Most notably in the Avengers, but also a bit in Thor 1 and The Dark World, a lot of Loki’s lines can be applied to himself, though he is talking generally or towards another group. What comes to mind is actually something he touches upon again in the series. The illusion of freedom. And though it is not said that line in particular is him thinking of himself, it can be inferred based on his admission that the line in the gifs above apply to him. Also that little gesture when he says “weak” breaks me. He’s hurting so much.

Loki is not a villain. He may think he’s one because everyone else is telling him that, yet we’re already seeing it brought up that it’s not true. I can only hope that we’ll see Loki state this himself later in the series. He was largely forced to do what he did. It is not his fault, so how can he be a villain?

Loki cares. Tom’s acting is just *chef’s kiss* Seeing his mother’s death hurts so much. I love that his first response is denial. Loki is thrown into something he’s never known about before, being shown things that, to his knowledge, have never happened. But then when he’s had a few seconds to wander around the TVA on his own terms, he’s more come to grips with all that’s going on. So, when he’s by himself and see’s Frigga lying there, dead, it gets to him. Then seeing Odin still call him his son, he feels the slightest glimmer of hope, but also regret; he already knows in the back of his mind that he’s not actually going to get that. Loki’s living from second to second, trying to hold on. He probably thinks this ends with his death. (I do have issues with that Odin scene in context of Ragnarok but that’s more a tangential aside, so I’ll gloss over it for now.) Then seeing Thor and himself acting like brothers again is heartwarming. So just when he’s feeling uplifted, Thanos comes into the picture. He realizes how much control the titan still had over his life; he never really escaped. And in the end, Thanos made good on his promise. And that is terrifying! And he laughs at it. It’s a sad sort of laugh, one that’s slightly crazed. Loki feels that no matter what he does, it ends in pain. By the end of seeing all that, he is a man broken. Rather, more broken than he already was.

Loki is struggling. That’s nothing profound; it’s obvious. But where it really stands out to me is actually in a part I originally thought to be out of character. I am referring to “What if I was a robot and I didn’t know it.” Upon closer inspection, I realize it’s actually that his perception of himself has been so thrown that he really isn’t sure about his own chemical makeup anymore. Odin and Frigga keeping from him that he’s a frost giant made him so unsure of himself, he thought he might not even be a living being.

Nervous tics. Was I the only one noticing his leg bouncing when he talked to Mobius? And what about that scene when he’s sitting on the steps? He begins to pick at his hands. Note, that’s something he did in T1 after finding out he was a frost giant and while confessing to the Warriors Four about how he was the one who told the guard of their trip to Jotunheim. Just a little detail I really appreciated. (If anyone has gifs of any of these things, feel free to share :)

Mobius. I’ll be honest, I’m a bit undecided. I’m hesitant to say he’s evil. After all, we haven’t seen that much of him yet. However, I will say he is unscrupulous and manipulative. His questions weren’t to help Loki work through his trauma. Mobius was trying to goad him into helping, and likely was trying to gauge how much this Loki is like the variant he’s tracking. When Loki makes any admission of his feelings, it’s something he already knew, not a conclusion Mobius helped him reach. Mobius mocks him a bit and pushes his buttons because he sees Loki as a means to an end, and wants to know how easily he can get him to work with him. And what strikes me is how similar Mobius’s deal is to Thor’s deal in TDW. Thor doesn’t offer Loki freedom, he offers revenge. Mobius’s deal is just another variation of this. He can’t offer “salvation” but he can offer something “better”. Working for the TVA really isn’t better, though. So what does he mean? Well, I think he means a chance for Loki to prove he’s a hero. I hope as the show progresses it’s addressed that Loki doesn’t have to prove himself to anyone. That’s what he’s been doing his whole life, but I want Loki to see for himself that he doesn’t have to.

Miss Minutes. Propaganda. Plain and simple, it’s propaganda. Besides the way it praises the “time keepers” as amazing saviors, necessary to keep the world in order, it’s essentially saying “don’t think for yourself.” The whole point of the video is “the time keepers are great. The TVA is flawless. Trust us to decide everything. You have no autonomy in the world we want, so surrender your free will. Submit to the system we’ve decided is perfect and everything will be just fine.” Of course, by “just fine” they mean the variant will be pruned and the timeline will keep going as the time keepers see fit. The animation style was great though! It really fit.

The infinity stones. I think their inclusion makes sense. If you remember from Endgame, the stones being in the right place in the right time keeps the timeline from branching, and thus prevents the multiverse from being created. Likely, the time keepers used the stones to make their “sacred timeline.” Naturally, any variant time stones would cause a problem. That’s why they have so many extras. But think about how pointless so much of what happened seems. Nat, Gamora, Vision, Tony, everyone who was snapped, everyone who was left. So, literally the entire universe was flipped upside down for paperweights. It really puts Thanos’s pursuit of the stones into perspective, doesn’t it?

The cloaked figure. I think there’s some misdirection going on here in one way or another. Mobius says he’s chasing a Loki variant, then immediately it cuts to a scene with the cloaked figure. Our minds are likely to assume that is the variant then. But they don’t actually say it’s Loki, so I’m inclined to believe it’s not. Though, I don’t have enough information to say who I do think it is, I could make a couple of educated guesses and say Mephisto (he certainly interacted with Loki in the comics, plus there’s the stained glass window) or Sylvie. Well, whoever Sophia Di Martino’s character is. I know she was previously listed as Sylvie on sources such as IMDb, but that has since disappeared. But why would you have a “young Sylvie” (Cailey Fleming) without an older version? There is speculation Di Martino’s character will be Lady Loki, but I hope this won’t happen. If they make Lady Loki her own character, I doubt we’ll see Variant Loki get to be fluid. Even if it’s confirmed on the record, it’d be nice to see actually happen beyond a piece of paper. And with twist villains being such a prominent force in modern media, I’m interested to see who our cloaked friend really is.

Time travel. Like I said earlier, this is a lot. But I can’t talk about the episode and not mention this aspect in at least a little more depth. I don’t like how the MCU deals with time travel. I think it’s an unnecessarily complicated mix of a number of different, already complicated theories. However, I think Loki will ultimately escape from the TVA and create a multiverse too difficult to prune (and maybe he’ll actually get to burn the place down too!) This will then tie directly into Doctor Strange 2. Do you guys know what that’s called? The Multiverse of Madness. Actually, in the Miss Minutes propaganda, they almost exactly say “will throw the multiverse into madness.” Will we get to (finally!) see a certain raven-haired god meeting Dr. Strange? And maybe even the Scarlet Witch herself? Well, I’m not sure, but right now I think it’s looking pretty good!

And some random things that didn’t really anywhere else:

Peggy is in the background?! My thought here is that Steve wasn’t supposed to stay with her. This made not only a Variant Steve, but also a Variant Peggy. We may not see Steve, but I bet he’s been taken care of too!! And who knows? Maybe there will be a cameo later. Otherwise, it might be something that was cut from the show, or just a fun easter egg of sorts.

The score was so good! It sets the mood perfectly.

Loki is a good fighter. Even if he’s overpowered, he finds a way.

Some of the humor didn’t land, but that might just be a personal thing.

So now my final thoughts. It’s their strongest pilot yet. So much emotion crammed into less than an hour. A lot of exposition, too, yet it didn’t feel tedious (Endgame I’m looking at you). And then we get to delve into Loki’s psyche, something that really appeals to me! Overall, 9/10. I hope the rest of the series is as good!

Did I miss anything? Was there something you were hoping I’d mention and didn’t? Or do you have something to add or (politely!) disagree with? I’d love to hear it all! Remember, fandom is a safe space to talk about, analyze, and debate about things you enjoy. My ask box is always open with anon on. Reblogs and comments are great too. Thanks!

Me after watching the episode:

#the loki show #the loki show spoilers #the loki series #loki series #loki analysis #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki friggason #the loki series spoilers #I know there’s nothing particularly profound here but here you go #*throws thoughts into the void*

[verobatto]

Unrequited Destiel...

The Legend of The Sun and The Moon

I just wanted to explain in a few words to those that are asking why Dean didn't reply to Cas or why is Jensen talking about angelical way to feel things.

I know they're a lot of post saying WE TOLD YOU THIS AND THAT, and is true. Because if you read my Destiel Chronicles from the beginning, you will see I ALWAYS CALLED THE UNREQUITED LOVE FROM CAS AND DEAN'S POV.

Some of you disbelieves this idea, but is the only way to intepretate why Destiel is the slowest slow burn ever.

No more intro, let's suffer together...

Season 4 and 5 JUST A FLIRTING GAME

Once Dean was pulled out from Hell, Castiel wanted to talk with him. He didn't wait a second. Things blew and it was messy, and even Bobby was scared that that thing would hurt his idjit. But it was just Cas, trying to speak with Dean, desperately trying to reach him in his true form. Why? Because he wanted to talk with him. He had to explain Dean's mission but also, he felt fascinated. And even more after their first meeting face to face when he was finally able to find a vessel.

And Dean just it took him just a little of his time to feel the same fascination. The almighty angel, that could see right through his soul.

But also the angel that said things like...

And we have the handprint too, such an intimate sign between these two.

Castiel showing him, honestly showing him with words and actions, his special interest on him:

"My superiors begun to question my sympathies. I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You."

How would Dean take this here? The poor guy just decided to check out the angel, and speechless as he was at that moment, couldn't reply to it. "Is he flirting with me? Does he know how gay this sounds?"

Then Cas rebel against Heaven for Dean. Dean pushed him, the whole he pushed Cas to help him. If you rewatch season 4 Dean is constantly asking Cas to help him. Because he already know Cas was different. Because he felt Cas was his friend, his ally, and something else it was growing up in his chest.

While Cas pushed him against the wall, cut his forearm and drew the sigil, Dean's face is full of awe. He can't believe this soldier powerful angel is doing this for him.

And then... "We're making it up as we go."

Gif credit @cyxnrose

The beginning of season 5 is a very busy Cas searching for God, but also, the flirtation begins. Dean is like a cute boy flirting with his crush. The second meaning jokes, trying to figure out if Cas catch it is hilarious. But he will understand 'Cas doesn't understand that reference.'

From Dean's POV in these two season, we coul under he thinks angels are junk less.

Season 6: The profound Bond and the Longing

The romantic feeling from both sides began to flow even more when Castiel goes into the black side, and the first Destiel break up appears infron of our eyes in the middle of a very romantic scenes.

Gif credit @starlightcastiel

Gif credit @inacatastrophicmind

The last gif is out of discussion, bot men looking at each other with sad eyes, longing and as if their conversation isn't over. Dean being disappointed at Cas and Cas trying to make him see his point. Everything he does, he does it for Dean.

And now we know why it is.

Season 7: Mourning Dean and the Jealousy

Even with Showrunner Sera Gamble trying to focus Dean's morning into a Wincest subtext, we had put king Ben Edlund came to the rescue in episode 7x09.

Putting things in order, we were faced with Dean's source of depression: Castiel's death.

So, after that, when Cas really comes back, the reunion is another romantic movie. The MEMORY LOST trope.

And then... Castiel's pseudo wife...

The trope is getting better with the spicy Jealousy in Dean's eyes.

Gif credit @impalaofgrace

So he can't completely enjoy Cas is back because:

1) He doesn't remember him: so, how can be mad or anything else if Cas doesn't remember any details of their break up?

2)The guy has a wife! Okay, so, he has a wife, he easily got a wife from... Nowhere?

And then Meg comes and he is Jealous all over again!

Dean is a really mess of feelings, but in the end, when Cas recalls everything, and when I say everything, i mean Dean, because the majority of his memories was him, Dean just pulls out from his car Castiel's bloody trenchcoat and gives it him back!

So, if there was any doubts about why was Dean mourning and depressed for, we have the confirmation!

Then, let's turn the page, because now is Cas the mess... Depressed and suffering, because he almost destroy heaven, but, do you know what cares the most to Cas and when he cheers up? Yes...

When Dean says... "I RATHER JAVE YOU, CURSED OR NOT" Castiel immediately changed his face, he smiles, and kept staring at Dean with heart eyes. He was happy because Dean was forgiving him. Because since he recovered his memories, the biggest cause of it was Dean's rejection. Dean not being able to forgive him. That was the main cause of his sadness. That's why he avoided reality, he didn't have a cause, because his cause was Dean and Dean was mad at him. But now? Cas is happy again. That's why he decides to come back to battle. "I'll go with you."

Season 8 Purgatory of love and Pining!Dean

Okay, is in this season, Carver era, when Dean's POV has a turning point about Castiel and his true feelings for him and is in this season, when Dean starts pining strongly for the angel, and feeling his love is unrequited.

The cause of it, is Purgatory. The Purity about Purgatory resided in the capacity of that place to resides in abolish every human necessity to let the mind to focused in what really matters. In this case for Dean was SURVIVE AND CAS.

So we can say that what remained pure in Dean's heart was TO FIND CASTIEL.

That's why he prayed to him every night, and that's why in the moment Cas CONFESS he ran away to protect him, something in Dean changes forever.

Gif credit @agusvedder

If you pay attention to Dean's face reaction here, is the expression of the man that realizes in that precisely moment his feelings for Castiel. Even Cas stares to a side, because there was Benny watching them, and the thing he was about to say it was too intimate. I did it to protect you.

Dean, the Big Protector, is being protected by Castiel. So, in Purgatory, Dean Winchester find out his not platonic love for his best friend.

Then we had the entire season with pining!Dean and deception.

Dean's mind invented one excuse for Castiel running away from him because thinking his best friend abbandoned him, was just too painful. He does this again when Cas pushed him inside the gate and he stays in Purgatory. Dean just rewrote in his mind the whole sequence. Imagining that Cas was defeated. But the reality was, Castiel wanted to stay. And when Cas reveals this truth to the hunter, Dean's face is a mix of deep sadness and deception. He felt really rejected by his friend. He felt his unrequited romantic love for him. But he will feel it more stronger in the crypt scene, with the brainwashing and how Castiel's love for Dean broke th connection. But he left. That was a real rejection the hunter barely could handled.

Season 9: Pinning!Castiel and Human!Cas

When Cas became Human, he has to face all the intensity of human's feelings. In this season, is time for our angel to realize his romantic love for the hunter.

Castiel will mirroring Dean's pining in season 8, and he will also feel rejected by him.

Just like Dean in season 8, Castiel will feel his romantic love is unrequited, after Dean kicked him out from the bunker, being this the parallel to the crypt scene.

But then Cain's mark comes, and everything gets worst.

Season 10: Castiel is Dean's Colette

The whole Cain's mark was the visual sign of the Destiel handprint (profound bond) attempt of break.

With Cain and Dean going through a perfect parallelism in which Crowley was placed in the friend's spot, Sam in the brother's spot and Castiel in Colette's spot. Blatant and canon exposure of what Cas means for Dean.

But now, is time for Dean, after came back for being a demon, to feel unrequited again. And this is a detail that could be not seen, but it caught my attention.

CASTIEL: At least temporarily. It’s a long story. Crowley, stolen grace. There’s a female outside in the car.

This is what Castiel says when he goes into Dean's room and after Dean praises him...

Gif credit @inacatastrophicmind

Dean had been with Crowley when he was a demon this whole time, so Cas was heartbroken. Even this season opens with a very depressed Castiel in the bed just let himself die because Dean was gone. So, that's why Cas says this.

So you went with Crowley, i have a female in my car. See? I don't need you.

He was Jealous, and now Dean gets Jealous, but he also gets the sensation again of his love for Castiel is unrequited.

The episode that followed this one, Dean goes into a blind date with random chick he took from a date app (very ooc, but he did it because he had his heart broken and because he thought CAS had cheated on him while he was gone as a demon.)

Season 11: Dean resist a forced bond with Amara because he's bonded with Castiel

Season 11 is a blatant exposure of Dean's feelings for Castiel. There a lot of hints throughout the season telling us Dean is in love, just like in season 9 there was hints of this with Castiel. (Again, mirroring each other).

Dean resisted Amara because of his love for Castiel. But Cas is oblivious about this.

When Castiel is possesed by Lucifer, Dean switch's into desperate mode. If he was worried about his attraction for Amara, now the only thing he cares was Castiel, exposing again WHO DEAN IS IN LOVE WITH.

But when Dean wanted to rescue Castiel, and Cas didn't want to come back to him, it hurt him worst. Again, just like in season 8, Dean can't handle Cas doesn't want to come back with him (first from Purgatory and now from being possesed). Again Dean feels rejected and unrequited. That's why when Cas is back and the end of the world is close... Dean says these words...

"You're our brother, Cas. I want you to know that."

And Cas' face...

Gif credit @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs

That's a man with the heart broken, mostly because we know now he was in love with Dean CANON FACT! (sobbing louder).

Season 12 and the confusing I LOVE YOU

This season was full of married couple situations, but mostly, we had Castiel's I Love You in the barn, before "dying".

At first Dean thinks the angel was saying this as goodbye, expressing into words his feelings for the Winchesters. Because as and angel, maybe Cas was feeling he has to protect them all. But then he says this singular I Love You to Dean, and the guy doesn't know how to take it. It was a platonic ILY? A non platonic ILY? Does angels feel the same like us? Does he sees me as a brother? Dean was truly a mess, so he decides to respond to that with a Mixtape.

But, when Castiel disappears for days, he sinks again into that sensation of unrequited romantic love.

Then Cas comes back, and then he goes away again, and then he dies.

Season 13: The reunion and the meaning of Castiel coming back

Dean's mourning for Cas can't be interpreted otherwise than LOSING THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE.

And the longing for his angel plus some Nougat powers, brought him back.

The thing is, Dean didn't expr as his feeling for Castiel and when the angel asked him that he needed to believed that he came back for a reason, Dean goes...

Gif credit @inacatastrophicmind

This sound like if he was recruiting Cas for war. And Cas' took it as that. So he came back to soldier angel mode. Because, okay, if Dean and Sam needed him to fight, he will fight.

Unrequited Love again.

Season 14 Healing Dean and the prelude of the break up

Post-possesed Dean is a follow up of self knowledge and self growing. He was healing the whole season.

But in episode 14x04 we heard Dean being Jealous or hurt because Castiel didn't go to rescue him and then because he goes into hunts with Jack. Unrequited love again.

Did Cas miss me as I missed him?

Is the first time Dean will actually name the word LOVE talking with the kid.

And then Mary dies and everything is a mess.

Dean yells YOU ARE DEAD TO ME, and how sad that sounds now that the angel had died again. Saving his life.

Dark clouda over our ship...

Season 15: And Maybe is not too late...

In season 15 we lived the angst of the Destiel break up, but then their reunion in Purgatory was beautiful.

Again, facing the fact that he could lost Cas one more time, Dean went down on his knees and prayed to him, and because he was in Purgatory, his heart and mind were released from any distraction, and he was plenty focused in the love he feels for his angel.

He cried, and begged for him to come back.

And he found him, following his heart, the profound bond he has with Castiel.

But, when he was about to say something that he hadn't said in the prayer, Castiel cut him off. So... Again the hunter had to swallow his words and the unrequited love punch him again.

Then... Castiel's romantic love confession took Dean by surprise, because, now that you read all the clues i gave you and i convinced you that Dean and Cas thought their love were unrequited, you will understand Dean's reaction.

Gif credit @spnsmile

Dean didn't can't believe Cas had loved him the way he does this whole time and now, he will lose him again. Is too much pain he can't handle.

For a lot of reasons we had analyzed so many times (Dean's arc has to have a closure expressing his ILY to the angel, the Empty plot is not ended, Etc) Is logical to think Cas will come back in the last episode, and this slow burn story will end with them being together, finally.

To Conclude:

The legend of the Sun and the Moon talks about two lovers that can't be reunited but they love each other deeply.

Is accurate with Destiel, because these two men had always being pining for each other but never be able to be together as they wish.

Castiel always thinking Dean doesn't reciprocate his romantic feeling for him and Dean thinking because Cas is an angel, he doesn't love him back romantically.

The Sacred Oath always playing in Castiel's POV as an impediment too and Dean's love clocked in shame too.

The deal with the Empty had been settled as we suspected in season 14, as a romantic plot. So, it has to have a closure.

These thoughts are based on the volumes from my assay "The Destiel Chronicles", currently in it's 87th volume.

See you soon! Have faith!

Destiel Is Forever!

Tagging @gneisscastiel @emblue-sparks @magnificent-winged-beast @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @maleansu @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @mybonsai1976 @anarchiana @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @feathered-cas @bre95611 @zoerayne2426 @justmeand-myinsight @that-one-fandom-chick @proccastinate @studio-hatter @pepevons @poorreputation @mrsaquaman187 @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @dwstiel @ladygon @shippsblog @la-random-fangirl @lets-try-this-again-please @mychemicalobsession514 @destiel-shipper-11

@asphodelesauvage @2musiclover2

Buenos Aires November 17th 2020 8:33 PM

#destiel #destiel meta #destiel love #unrequited love #dean winchester #castiel #destiel is canon #parallels and mirrors #season 4 #season 5 #season 6 #season 7 #season 8 #season 9 #season 10 #season 11 #season 12 #season 13 #season 14 #season 15 #15x20 spec #supernatural #supernatural meta

[megsironthrone]

You Don’t Have to Do This

Based on this request: okay umm👉👈🥺 if requests are open, I would really like one with sandor clegane x reader (female if it’s okay) set in the one to last episode of the series, yeah that ugly episode for us sandor stans…….😭 like can the reader arrive in the red keep while sandor is fighting his brother and helps him out? managing to not get him brutally tumbling to the ground with him? and then he confesses his love for her? ❤ 🙏 thanks 

Here you are, lovely! *Familiar Characters are NEVER mine!* Also, as I refuse to rewatch this episode in particular, some things from the scene have been altered(though I will say the scene portrayed in the gif is one of my favorite Sandor & Arya scenes)

Warnings: Angst w/happy ending, violence, fire, The Mountain, death

Pairings/Characters: Sandor Clegane x fem!reader, The Mountain. 

(^^Also Could someone please help me learn to make gifs?? I really would like to find/make more Sandor gifs that are NOT SanSan related XD)

You pushed passed the crowds of people trying to get out of the city and trying to avoid the flames raining down. Nothing mattered in that moment but finding Sandor. You knew he was headed for the Keep and you were determined to stop him and get him out of King's Landing before you both died in one way or another.

         You ran as quickly as your legs would carry you toward the Keep and the man you'd come to love. Your legs threatened to give out and your lungs burned, but pure perseverance and love pushed you forward. Finally, after what seemed like hours, you made it inside. Luckily, your entrance had made enough noise to attract Sandor's attention because you couldn't speak in that moment even if you wanted to.

         His brows furrowed for moment before deciding to let you take a moment to catch your breath. He turned to Arya, who you just now noticed was in the room, and said something along the lines of, "You want to be like me?" You watched as a look of understanding came over the young lady. She began to walk out of the Keep, thanking Sandor then leaving the two of you alone.

         "What are you doing here?" he asked, his deep brown eyes meeting your (e/c) ones. "Please, Sandor. I know why you're here. You don't have to do this. Come with me. We can find a way out of the city. We can escape. Please…" you trailed off. You weren't sure what else to say without admitting your feelings for the man. Feelings you were certain he would reject and you couldn't bear that.

         "I can't let him keep living." You ran forward and gently grabbed his arm. "Please, Sandor. He isn't worth your life. The best revenge you could have is leaving and living the rest of your life peacefully, out of his shadow. Sandor, look at me. I am begging you don't do this." Sandor shook his head, removed your hand from his arm, and turned away.

         You felt your heart clench once more at the thought of Sandor dying at the hands of his resurrected brother. You couldn't let him go alone. To that end, you followed after him. "What are you doing?" he snapped. You rolled your eyes. "I'm coming with you. I can't stop you, but I sure as all Hells am not going to let you go alone." His brows drew together as he tried to contemplate the meaning behind your words.

         "Fine," he said after a moment, "Just stay out of trouble." You chuckled, but there was no humor in it. "This entire situation is nothing but trouble. But I will stay out of your way unless I think you need help. I just…I need to be there and know that you're okay." Once more, Sandor didn't say anything, but you could almost see the gears turning in his head. However there would be no more time for conversation.

         You heard him before you saw him. The Mountain. Gargantuan and imposing. Lethal. You felt a shiver rip through you when he rounded the corner. He seemed to ignore you in favor of staring down his brother. You didn't hear anything Sandor said to him. You just wanted it to be over. Sandor needed to win this time. The sound of a blade swinging through the air had you moving out of the way as quickly as possible.

         The scene before you unfolded as you watched in horror. The brothers were somewhat evenly matched. Well, except for the Mountain being dead-but-not-dead. It seemed his strength was left intact when he was brought back. When the Mountain had Sandor pressed up against the crumbling walls of the Keep, you knew you couldn't wait any longer.

         You rushed forward, drawing the Mountain's attention to you long enough for Sandor to straighten himself up. Your relief was short-lived as the giant man grabbed you by the throat and threatened to throw you into the roaring flames below. Your eyes met Sandor's for a brief moment and a look of understanding passed between you. With one hand, you tried clawing at the Mountain's gauntlet-covered hand while your other hand reached for the nearby torch.

         Sandor yelled at his brother, causing him to remove his helmet to vehemently glare. You took the opportunity to reach next to you. You grabbed the torch and swung it against the Mountain's head with all your might. He let out a blood-curdling scream, dropping you to the stone steps. No pain registered in your mind as you focused on the task of helping Sandor.

         The Mountain was precariously close to the walls, giving you an idea. You only hoped Sandor would catch on quickly or the Mountain's sword was coming for your neck next. From your position on the ground, you could easily reach the Mountain's legs. Sandor had him bent backward over the wall. If you were quick enough, you could end this right then and there.

         Without waiting another minute, you took aim. If you hit him in the just the right spot, you could throw him off balance long enough for Sandor to finish the job. Since the Mountain wasn't paying any attention to you anymore, you had your chance. His knees bent just enough. With a smile, you carefully reached over and rammed your elbow into the back of one knee and then the other. Then, you stayed on all fours behind his legs, basically creating a table from your body.

         In his surprise, the Mountain released his hold on Sandor. Sandor took one glance at you and got the idea. With all his might, he shoved. The Mountain lost his balance, flipping over you and off the walls, down into the flames below. Sandor helped you to your feet and the two of you watched his brother fall. When you could no longer see him, Sandor pulled you back and gazed into your eyes.

         "What in Seven Hells were you thinking, woman?!" he snapped, "You could have gotten yourself killed!" You huffed a little and crossed your arms. "A 'thank you' would be nice. I told you I would stay out of the way unless you needed help. And you did! I-I couldn't let you die, you idiot! I saved-" you were cut off, letting out a squeak of surprise when you felt Sandor's arms wrap around you.

         "Don't do anything like again," he muttered. You pulled back slightly to look at him. "Sandor, I…why are you so worried? I'm fine." Sandor let his brown eyes meet your (e/c) ones. "I," he started, but couldn't seem to find the words, "I-Dammit, woman! Just accept that I can't lose you!" You felt your lips stretch into a smile. "Sandor, do you love me?"

         "Aye," he answered without hesitation. You guessed he thought he'd hesitated long enough. With everything going on, there were no guarantees after all. You moved to stand a couple steps above him so you could meet his gaze. "I love you too." You placed your hands on his shoulders and slowly leaned closer to him. Sandor froze for a moment, but began leaning in as well. "Are you sure about this?" he asked when your lips were a mere breath away from one another. You laughed lightly. "Absolutely. Will you kiss me, Sandor?" You question was answered when he smashed his lips against yours, practically pulling you off your step in an effort to bring you closer to him.  

(a/n: I hope this is what you wanted! I miss my Sandor!)

Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard @brewsthespirit-blog @etherealpotter @line-viper @frozenhuntress67 @cd1242 @gruffle1 @smalltownbigheart @igotmadskills

Sandor Clegane Tags: @songoficecreamandfireworks​ @silversprings98​ @nkjktk​

#george r.r. martin #game of thrones #sandor clegane #sandor clegane x reader #sandor x reader

[pennyserenade]

tags: nameless female oc x javier peña, nameless female oc x javier pena. rating: e ( explicit ) warnings: smut, language, talks of violence, unprotected sex, heavy angst, mentions of death, guns, pregnancy.  word count: 3k+ summary: not everything can be spoken the way it can be felt.  notes: i somehow managed to do this despite feeling entirely unmotivated all day, so that’s nice. this takes place during episode 3, season 2, near the halfway mark.   original gif by: @javierian

una guerra sin piedad 

scene eight, scenes from a marriage

Javier is a good husband, or at least he tries to be. He doesn’t mean to do this--probably doesn’t even recognize that she knows he’s doing it. He is faced with so many objectives in a day's time, Javier doesn’t realize how easy it is to catch on to his lies. They are hardly coated, though, obvious to anyone who pays attention to him as much as she does, but that’s just it--he doesn’t pay attention at all.

He’s unaware that his fingers are shaking right now. It is a subtle act, a tremble hardly notable to the untrained eye, but these are the fingers that have been touching her for twelve years; she has seen them and felt them and come to know them better than her own. They have remained steady and nimble even after too many cups of coffee and one too many pieces of harrowing news, because they are trained to be fingers that don’t give way to anxiety. A stone body, a man meant to be unflinching in the face of the most awful of tragedies, but here with her, it allows his lies to leak out without his consent. It’s pleading, this body, asking for respite because he won’t go easier on it.

She holds his hands, keeping them steady before they can reach out and lay flat against her growing stomach. Javier looks at her and confusion sprinkles across features that are too pale to be normal, even to him. His eyes reveal an undeniable sadness, too, some sort of impact from war that he’s on the verge of losing simply because he refuses to ask for help. He is all alone in there.

“Me estás mintiendo, Javi,” she tells him, voice level and collected. “Te mientes a ti mismo también.”

He looks startled, and perhaps it is warranted. The glass case he enclosed himself in wasn’t so transparent or frail to him, after all. 

He takes his hands away slowly. 

“No,” he responds. “About what?”

“No sé. Not completely,” she shakes her head. “That’s why I said it.”

“I’m not lying about anything.”

“Javi.”

“What?”

“The cigarettes.” 

She watches his face fall. 

“You smoke them when you think I’m asleep but I do your laundry, and I can smell them when you get back in bed,” she shrugs. “You don’t hang out the window far enough either, and you always get ashes on the ground.”

“I can’t quit,” he confesses. “Not now.”

“I never asked you to.”

“Yo sé, pero…” he begins, but falters. “I wanted to.”

“I would rather you smoke than you lie.”

“Okay, but that’s all,” he confirms. “Only the cigarettes.”

“Javi.”

“I’m telling the truth.”

“You of all people should know withholding information is just as incriminating,” she huffs, “I’m stronger than you ever give me credit for. You aren’t the only one who sees the blood in the streets, you know. I saw it too, still do, because we live here and that’s the reality and I’m sick of having to deny it.”

“Baby,” he groans. “Please. I don’t ever ask you to postpone these things, but I cannot do this tonight. I cannot.” 

“What happened tonight, Jav?”

He shakes his head. Lips straighten into a tight line and his Adam’s apple bops. 

“It was nothing.”

“Please,” she pleads, in the same vein as his own. “You don’t know how bad I need to know what is happening in your mind.”

“Nothing.”

His eyes start going blank again, despite the small smile he forces onto his lips. It has gone quicker than it had come. 

She frowns. 

He senses that his control over this situation is ebbing away. Lies, denial, the cruel act of simply not telling—it oozes out of him. 

Deception ages poorly, if this is anything to go by. It is grotesque what the truth can do to something beautifully fabricated as their marriage has been the past few months. Those tiny cuts that had existed before are now bloody wounds, infected with the spoils of their selfishness.

He cups her face in his hand; she lets him. He swipes the pad of his thumb over the warm skin, and looks into her eyes; she lets him. He leans forward to kiss her; she does not let him.

She’s never done that. It hollows him out, digging deeper in the already sensitive heart he’s carrying around.  

“Te amo mucho,” she begins, taking the hand that cradled her face in her own, “but you are hiding from me and it hurts to see.”

He face twitches, as if he’s going to say something, but he grows hesitant. He realizes what he might lose, realizes what’s at stake. 

It is not that she hasn’t seen the violence, or that he thinks her too weak to handle it. He knows what she can bear, knows that before he ever met her she was reporting on what he found. Anyone in Colombia, reporter or not, knows, because this is what happens. Violence. She can’t not know. 

What she can avoid knowing is his involvement in it. Withholding the truth is just as incriminating, she is right, but she’s been here long enough to know that crime runs rampant. It infects the entire country with its allure—that promise of getting to better places faster—and he is someone who has been swept dangerously up in its tide. 

She does not need to know. Some things shouldn’t be told, just as those things shouldn’t have been done. 

Doesn’t need to know it had been a boy. Just a fucking mouthy kid who had been washed into a war he didn’t deserve to comprehend let alone contribute to. 

The gun was held by someone who should’ve protected him, too. Noble American hero he was, Javi stood by and watched. He hadn’t even wanted to tell Steve—was coerced out the way he refused to be with her. 

He swallows harshly and thinks once more about the line of English he muttered before it had happened. It was a plea the boy wouldn’t have understood or grasped, said because deep down Javier knew what was about to happen. He didn’t say it in Spanish, though. He has to reconcile with the fact that the plea was more for himself than it was the boy with the gun in his face. Has to reconcile with the fact that he won’t speak about it again, too, even though he knows it’s wrong. She doesn’t need to know that, does she?

“I’m not going to tell you,” he speaks with a harsh finality. Maybe it’s not so harsh; maybe it’s just the fact that it’s so final that really hurts.

She holds her breath, the pain of his answer sharp and sudden and irrevocably real regardless. 

“I can’t,” he repeats. 

There’s no way he doesn’t know he’s hurting her now, and she supposes he’s doing this for a good reason, but the ache of it still burns just as bad. 

“I know,” she says. Then, a sacrifice, “S’okay.”

Javier’s eyes shift down to her stomach. He has found an increasing need to keep his hands and arms wrapped around her nearly all of the time lately. Given, he has always loved the way she melts into his body when he wraps himself around her, but this is different; it is a sort of comfort that stems beyond liking the warmth of her. This is a need to protect. 

His feelings about the child still lean more towards confusion than they do anything else, but he’s begun to accept the fact that it is real. It’s hard to deny such a thing as her stomach begins to grow, but a part of him sort of likes knowing that it’s there now. He has given her something that isn’t pain, something that will be beautiful and innocent. He watches her, too, sees the way she holds her stomach and hears the way she speaks to it when she thinks he’s in a different room.

He remembers when she had told him that she was meant to be so much more than just someone’s mother or just someone’s wife. That felt like a century ago, those two people entirely different than the ones that lay here now and talk with each other. He doesn’t mourn for it, that time and those people, but he does think about them. 

She is still so much more than a wife and a mother, to be fair. Maybe she never accomplished everything she had envisioned when she had told him that, but there’s something so fiercely independent about her still, something entirely separate from anyone, even the one who grows inside her. 

She kept her last name. She reads all the time and piles books all over the house, adding personality in a way he never favored beyond his own shit until she came. She still writes. She’s compiled an entire record collection, full of artists and bands he’s never heard, and sometimes ones he has, the special sort that remind him of being a kid. She can sew. She is good at puzzles. She always burns her own toast but never his. She is good at oral because in the same way she had dedicated herself to a lot of things in life, she had also dedicated herself to learning how to suck a cock (her words, not his). She is filthy in a way that makes him ache sometimes, it’s so goddamn hot. She is kind. She is his everything. 

He isn’t happy or proud of the fact that he cannot find it in himself to admit what he has done. He knows she doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship filled with lies, ones so concealed she can’t even begin to find out what they are. Cigarettes are nothing in comparison to the things he witnessed tonight, and even those break her heart. 

His love for her is selfish, but it is still the very best part of him. 

“Let me touch you,” he whispers, hands ghosting lightly over her bare arms. “I just wanna make you feel good right now. Will you let me do that?”

She nods, and then, without him asking, she raises the slip she wears over her head, leaving her perfectly naked on top of him. He leans forward soon after and takes a nipple in his mouth. Her fingers rake through his hair as he runs his tongue against the sensitive flesh, but this time they do not tug. There is no rush or hunger in the way they are choosing to be with one other right now. Their bodies are too weak from emotional ware and tear, and their minds too numb from resisting the confrontation of the heaviness tonight has brought upon them. 

His fingers travel down to her core and when they find her clit, she pulls her back from her chest and kisses him, stealing a moan from his mouth. She breathes into him. After she pulls back, she rests her forehead against his own. Javi focuses more intently on her pleasure, measuring his success from the way her breath begins to quicken and the way her hips begin to rock up into his hand, desperate for more. He buries his face in the crook of her neck and she bites down gently at the skin of his shoulder, muffling herself as his fingers quicken the pace. She’s getting close, he knows. 

“That’s it, mi amor,” he tells her as she works herself on his fingers. “Use me, baby.”

It doesn’t take long until her lips part from his skin and find themselves letting out sharp moans, hips coming to a slow halt as she finishes working herself through the wave of her orgasm on his fingers. 

She presses her lips onto his, panting gently as she does so. When she allows herself to rest against him, he can feel how wet she is through the fabric of his boxers. 

He grabs onto the back of her neck and deepens the kiss. She wraps her arms around his neck and begins to rub herself against him, and he lets her for a few moments, enjoying what he can of her like this, before he rests a hand on her hip to stop it. 

“I want to taste you,” he tells her. She just looks at him. “Por favor.”

She nods, beginning to get off of him, but he grabs at her again, stilling her. Her eyebrows raise in confusion. 

“Sit on my face.”

“Javi, I’m too—“

“No you’re not,” he assures. He begins to lay down, pushing a pillow beneath his head. “C’mon, you like it.”

“Baby,” she hesitates. 

Javi tugs gently on her hand, urging her forward. She sighs, but caves in. 

He helps her, guiding her forward on his chest and she goes, but he can feel how nervous she is still.

He nips at her thighs before he adjusts herself over him. “I like doing this,” he tells her before he guides her forward the last few inches, and immediately he can feel all the tension ease from her as his tongue dips into her. 

She grabs a handful of his hair and licks between her folds, lapping up the last bit of her previous arousal. His nose grazes gently over her clit every so often and she cannot help the moan that escapes from her when it does. He is losing himself in her, transforming all the lies into nothing even for the briefest moments. 

He may not be the best husband, but he can make her feel good. He likes it too, genuinely enjoys the taste of her on his tongue and the accomplished, satisfying feeling of knowing he makes her legs weak and is the cause of the moans that part from her when she truly gets lost in this. And God, how they fall now as he sucks her clit. She unintentionally moves her hips forward. 

“Sorry,” she says, but Javi is quick to gently shake his head, not wanting to lose her. His hands wrap around her ass and he encourages it, going as far as moaning into her when she begins to develop a good pace. He gropes at her ass and she cums again, twitching gently this time. Javi cannot help the grin that forms on his lips as she does this. 

She guides herself off of him, collapsing next to him in the bed. Before he has the chance to wipe her arousal off his lips, she’s pulling him into a kiss. 

She loves this man. He may hurt her and hide from her, but she never feels unloved in his presence. Maybe that is enough. Maybe asking for any more than that is wrong. He is a good man. 

She kisses a trail down his chest, moving back in between his legs before she reaches the halfway point. 

“No,” he says, holding out his hand. 

“Why?” she questions.

“You don’t need to just because I did,” he says. “You don’t have to touch me at all.”

“I want to, Javi,” she tells him, hands shimming down his underwear. 

She kisses down his happy trail, then peppers light kisses around the base of his cock. His breath hitches, anticipating her next move, and he is delighted to find it is her tongue licking the underside of his sensitive member. He nearly jolts out of her hand, the sensation of her feels so good. 

He cannot help but tell her, saying, “Fuck, you do it just right.”

Despite all the ache still present in her, she manages a soft, unaffected laugh. He notes that, feels just as moved by that as he does the way her mouth wraps around his member and begins to be worked. 

She twirls her tongue around the top each time she comes back up, and she moves back down slowly, drawing multiple moans and “fucks” from his lips. He cannot look at her while she does it, unable to refrain from coming in her mouth if he does. He’s already dangerously on the edge as she includes her tongue when she’s going back down on his choke, running across each vein and causing his hips to twitch just as hers did. 

“I’m gonna—“ he pauses, fighting the urge to release with all he has in him. “I’m going to cum soon and I want it to be in you. You—“ he pauses again, breath leveling, “—you gotta stop or I won’t make it.”

“I don’t want you to,” she manages, before returning to his cock, going up and down at an increased rate. His fingers clench the sheets beneath him as she does this, losing it when she moans against him. He can’t stop it, can’t resist the urge any longer and doesn’t truly want to, knowing she’s not going to let him. 

He opens his eyes and watches her wipe a line of his arousal from her chin before she swallows down the rest of it. Tired and spent as he is, he still manages to rise from his back quickly to kiss her. He can taste himself on her lips, but he does not mind it. The kisses are not as lust filled, more tender and caring, and he is all the more pleased when she guides him backwards again, before settling next to him and wrapping one of her legs around his. His heart beats rapidly and his mind is not yet void of thought (he isn’t sure if it will ever be), but the tension between them has dissipated. Even if it is temporary, and even if it is something that is going to come back ten times worse, Javi values this for what is now and appreciates her submission once more into this fantasy land with him. 

She herself wonders, despite all the unspoken heartbreak, and despite all the unknown truths, what their baby might look like and what qualities it might possess from him as she lies silently next to him. Wonders because what she has learned is that the future is her friend and that imagining it does no harm.

It is a place where nothing is broken or harmed, the future. A place where she can cling to the vestiges of hope she’s granted even when he holds her and doesn’t tell her what he’s done or seen. It’s a place beautifully untouched by the unfair quality of truth and pain; a place where he stands in the doorframe of their bedroom with a small, newly born child and looks happy in a way she hasn’t seen in so long; a place where she will never have to fret about whether she will ever get that from him or not, because it is hers and she does. 

The future has always been kind to her, kind in the way the present never, ever seems to be. She clings onto Javi and even manages a sad sort of grin at the thought of a child who’s hair curls the same way his does when it gets too long. 

She doesn’t share these thoughts with him, though—hardly ever does—because she needs things for herself. Admitting these notions into the world is to corrupt them, or to corrode the meaning they have to her now. She loves him, but these are her thoughts the way whatever he battles are his. 

This is a scene of a war without mercy; this is scene eight from a marriage. 

javi tag list : @wyn-dixie , @rosiefridayrogersunday , @disgruntledspacedad , @melaniermblt , @walt-breslin , @theorganasolo , @amneris21 , @over300books

forever/everything tag list : @astroboots , @frannyzooey , @wyn-dixie , @rosiefridayrogersunday , @melaniermblt , @theorganasolo​ , @amneris21​

scenes tags: @gravegoth​ , @sarahjkl82-blog​ , @cmonkeepmoving​

#javier pena x reader #javier peña x reader #javier peña x oc #javier pena x nameless oc #javier peña x nameless oc #javier pena x female reader #narcos fanfic #narcos #pedro pascal #fanfic

[manndo]

not today, but someday [oberyn martell x reader]

gif credit

pairing[s]: oberyn martell x female!reader

warning[s]: 18+ due to heavily implied sexual content (no actually smut), sexual references/situations, mentions of breeding (in reference to conceiving a child), swearing; talks of pregnancy & the inability to conceive; fluff; angst; oberyn being oberyn (is that a warning??); no mention of ellaria; possible inaccuracies about got (see notes)

word count: 5.4k (ummmm, whoops?)

prompt[s]: none.

summary: all you had ever wanted was a little one, a child to call your own. and yet, months later, you were still without child. still barren, and your dream of becoming a mother seemed to be slipping away. 

author’s notes: okay, so, let me start off saying this -- oberyn martell has taken over my life and i have spent much time yearning over him. and, in doing so, i got this idea one day because, as we know, oberyn had eight daughters. so, i thought, what if he had a s/o who could not seem to conceive? hence, this fic. but, i have never watched an episode of got in my life. i have seen his scenes (besides, you know, that scene because in my head, oberyn is alive and well and having all the berries and orgies he wants & i just can’t handle that much violence) and i have read some articles about the show, seen the gifs/posts on tumblr, and talked to people who have watched it in the past eight+ years. but that the extent of my knowledge of got. so, i apologize in advance for any inaccuracies that this fic holds. and i hope that my characterization of oberyn is good. also, no ellaria -- i just did not feel like she fit in this in anyway possible, and i did not want to force her into the story, so to speak. well, i think that is it! so, on with the show! all mistakes are my own. comments/reblogs/likes are much appreciated. thank you! ❤️

“I am sorry, m’lady.”

You did not know what else you were expecting. You knew, deep down, that nothing had changed. You did not need the maester to tell you that you were still without child — you knew. But, Oberyn had instead you call up on them, and you were too tired to argue. You also hoped you were wrong, and Gods did you want to be wrong. But, you were not.

You plastered on a polite smile for the maester. “It’s quite alright,” you said, your voice tight as you forced your emotions down. You weren’t going to shed any tears in front of the maester; you would never give anyone the satisfaction of seeing you cry, save for your husband. You nodded your head toward the door. “That’ll be all. Good day.” The maester bowed lowly before turning on their heel and exiting, the large wooden door shutting with a resounding, empty thud. 

The sound echoed in your head and heart; it seeped into your veins, and began to settle in your bones. The sound felt like a finality of sorts. An ending before anything could even begin.

A short, broken sob escaped your lips, and you quickly slapped your hand over your mouth to stop the sound from breaking free. However, it did not matter — the dam had broken, the heartache released. Another sob escaped, muffled by your palm as you squeezed your eyes closed, and laid down on your bed. Your body curling into itself as tears easily flowed down your cheeks, staining them. You felt as if your body was turning on you, tearing you apart at the seams as you shook violently with your cries.

For eight months now, the two of you had been actively trying for a babe, an heir for Oberyn. Not that he himself required an heir — he had eight beautiful daughters, his Sand Snakes, whom he loved dearly no matter their status. But, when the two of you had been wed over a year ago, there had been an unspoken expectation placed upon you both. Oberyn paid no mind, and told you to do the same, but that was easier said than done.

You had always wanted to be a mother, wanting to have babe upon babe running around, mucking up your home and tugging at your skirts. To watch them grow and prosper, becoming handsome young lads and beautiful young ladies, all whom would be intelligent and strong, but caring and kind. To have your legacy, no matter how small or large it would be, live on thorough them. Perhaps there was a small sense of duty, as a woman, that made you yearn to have children. But, you knew that was not the whole picture. Children were beautiful, wonderful, and loving. They were gifts, and you want to have those gifts, to cherish and love them till you were dead and buried. You wanted it, with all your heart, and yet, it seemed like fate was delivering you a cruel hand.

There had been, one fleeting moment in the very beginning of your wedded bliss, where you were positively sure you were with child. You had been so sure, so eager to see the maester; however, you had quickly been proven wrong by your own body betraying you. You’d spent the day in your chambers, unwilling to leave for any reason. Oberyn had found you curled deep in your silken sheets that evening, and try as he might with his quiet, reassuring words, he was unable to pull you from your depressive state. So, he had held you — silently, but tightly, pressing soft kisses across your shoulders, your neck, your jaw. He let his fingertips brush against your skin, tracing nonsensical patterns across your hips, your stomach, your chest, anywhere he could reach. His touches were light, and his movements were sluggish. He comforted you silently, the best way he knew how, and you allowed him to do so. It hadn’t eased the pain completely, but it had been enough.

But, slowly, the days had turned to weeks, and the weeks turned into months, and nothing changed. It did not matter that the two of you had stopped bringing others into your bed to focus solely on each other, for Oberyn to focus solely on you. Nor, did it matter how many times he filled you with his seed, or how willing and open you were to taking what he offered. It did not matter day, afternoon, or night. Nothing mattered. Because here you were, still without child. Barren.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed as the tears flowed and the sobs continued to wrack your body as you laid curled in your marriage bed. Your hand maiden had knocked on the door at one point, but you had been quick to dismiss her before she could enter and find you in your current state. She had not come back and you were grateful. 

But then, finally, everything came to a standstill; the tears you had been crying seemed to dry up, and your body had stopped trembling. You took a deep, shuddering breath and unfurled yourself, allowing your limbs to stretch out across the sheets. The tears were still clinging to the corners of your eyes, but most of them had already dried and stained your cheeks and neck. You pushed yourself to sit on the side of your bed, and roughly wiped away at your face, brushing away the outward sings of your heartache. You silently wished you could easily wipe away the heartache in your chest, too. The one that had buried itself so deeply in there. 

You hadn’t even noticed the door to your chambers opening, didn’t even hear a voice calling out to you. It was only when the door shut — that hollow, empty thud — that you were brought back, your head whipping toward the sound. “Oberyn,” you said, your voice soft, a breathless whisper. He wasn’t supposed to be here; from what you recalled, he was supposed to be kept busy with mundane princely duties (his words, not yours). You weren’t supposed to see him till this evening — and from the way the sun was peeking through the curtains, it could only be mid afternoon — which would have given you plenty of time to steel yourself. To gather yourself together, lock your heartache and pain away before delivering the news. To pretend that it didn’t cut into your soul, didn’t rip you apart from the inside out. “What are you—”

“I had a free moment,” he said, making his way toward you, his golden robes flowing effortless around him. There was a smile playing at his lips, which told you that he actually did not have a moment — he made a moment to come and see you. 

You felt the heartache clawing at your throat, fighting to be released.

Quickly, you pushed yourself to stand, and turned away from him in a futile attempt to hide your face. He would come closer; he would see your pain, your sorrow. Because, though you had wiped away the tears and the stains they had left behind on your cheeks, your eyes were still red and puffy. The pain and heartache still lingering behind your eyes.

God, you had hoped to have more time, more time before you had to tell him. Before you had to watch the sadness and disappointment appear, filling his rich, beautiful brown eyes. You wanted more time. 

A pragmatic pause. “Love,” he said, his voice sounding strained, painful. Your actions had spoken louder than words, it seemed.

You could feel a fresh set of tears springing to your eyes, your hand grasping at the dress clinging loosely to your side. You fisted the fabric tightly and closed your eyes, willing yours tears to stay put, to not fall. You heard Oberyn call out for you again, this time your birth name falling from his lips just before you felt him come closer. He hadn’t touched you, not yet, but you could feel his presence only mere inches behind you. 

“Love,” Oberyn whispered once more, this time as you felt his hand wrap gently around the fist at your side, the other coming to wrap around your waist. “I am—”

“Don’t,” you breathed out, the word sounding more like a broken sob than anything coherent. You broke away from Oberyn, and thankfully, he let you go. “I cannot bare another I am sorry, especially from you, husband,” you said, your voice harsher than you had intended, angrier. Not at him, no, you could never be angry with Oberyn. No, you were angry at yourself. This was your fault; you were defective, broken, unable to provide him and yourself with the one thing you had so desperately wished for. “I have heard enough apologies to last me a lifetime.”

You felt his fingertips brush gently against your arm, the lightest of touches, barely there. A soft gesture to tell you he was there, and that he would not leave. You took a shaky breath, and loosened the grip on the fabric in your hand, letting the dress fall back against you. “There is no rush, my love,” he said, his voice soft and tentative, as if he knew he was treading rough water. And, he was.

A choked chuckle escaped your lips, and you turned to face your husband. “For you, perhaps,” you said, letting your eyes take in his appearance. He looked as handsome as ever, but he was growing older, as was the consequences of living. Over time, more grey had appeared in his hair and his beard, and a few more lines and wrinkles adorned his regal face. Even his stomach had gone a little soft (not enough for anyone besides you to notice). But, he was still the man you had met many moons ago. Still the Red Viper. Sill the man could make any woman or man fall to their knees and beg for his cock. “You, my stallion, can breed until you’re dead. The same cannot be said for myself.”

“I do not think I would call myself a stallion, my dove. Not anymore.”

You snorted, and turned away from him, letting your eyes look down at your marriage bed. You ran a hand across the silk sheets. “With the way we’ve been fucking these past few months, I’d disagree.”

You heard an amused chuckle escape his lips. “I may be able to still mount you like a stallion, but perhaps, I can no longer bred you like one.”

You looked over your shoulder at Oberyn, and raised your eyebrow. “Don’t tell me the father of eight daughters doubts his ability to breed?”

His shoulders gave a small shrug before he reached out to you, wrapping his callused hand around your wrist. Oberyn brushed the rough pad of his thumb over your pulse point. “I am not in my prime anymore, my dove. Perhaps, the fault does not lie on you.”

You looked away from him and back toward your marriage bed. You felt him take a step closer before you felt the press of his lips against your shoulder in the briefest of kisses. The hand holding your wrist slide down, his fingers intertwining with yours. “You’re taking pity on me, husband,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

“I would never,” he said, his warm breath ghosting over your skin. He pressed another kiss to your shoulder before his chin came to rest there, his beard tickling your skin ever so slightly. “I am merely stating a possibility,” he mumbled, the hand holding yours moving, arm shifting to wrap around your waist, hands still tangled with one another. “A truth, perhaps.”

You scoffed. “You cannot be serious, my prince.”

Oberyn hummed, and placed a soft kiss on your neck. “I am,” he mumbled into your skin. “I could deny reality, if I wished, but denying the inevitable does not change the outcome.”

“So,” you swallowed and looked down at your tangled hands that were resting on your stomach. You took a deep breath. “You do not think of me as a failure?”

Before you could blink, Oberyn had spun you around to face him. His rich, dark eyes were narrowed, but there was no anger behind his eyes. “You are not a failure, my love,” he said, his voice filled conviction. He reached out, cupping your cheek gently, his thumb wiping away a tear you hadn’t realized had fallen. “Please, do not think of yourself as one.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “There are not many things women are afforded in this life, Oberyn. Many of us are not giving the promise of kingdoms, riches or lands when we are but babes,” you stated, your voice hard, irritation lacing your words. “But this, the gift to bare children, we are born with that. That is ours,” you said, your voice softening as your throat tightened and tears welled at the corner of your eyes. You closed your eyes, and feel another swipe of his callused thumb across your cheek. “I know I am worth more than my anatomy. I know that my anatomy does not define me. That this, this failure,” you said, your voice catching in your throat, “this inability to conceive, does not define me.” You swallowed, and opened your eyes, looking into Oberyn’s deep, chocolate orbs. “I know these things, Oberyn. I know them. But, it cuts me deeply, so deeply that I feel as if I am bleeding out with no way to close the wound.”

“My dove,” he said softly, his other hand coming to rest on your other cheek. He held your face gently between his hands, his features soften, and you could see a pain in his decadent eyes. A pain that was reflected in your own. “Your pain is my pain, know that. And know, there is nothing I would not give up in this world in order to give you the gift of a child,” he said, and you could tell that he meant what he said. He wanted this as much as you did, you both wished for this, silently prayed for this. And yet, barren. 

You watched as he removed one of his hands from your cheek, sliding it down your neck, shoulder, down the middle of your chest, between your breasts and coming to rest on your stomach. Oberyn looked down at his hand, as did you, and spread his fingers across your stomach. “What I wouldn’t give to see you swell with our babe,” he said, and if you listened close enough, you could hear the slight hitch in his breath. You placed your hand over his on your stomach, fingers resting between his. “To see them suckle at your breast, to tug at your skirts, to wreak havoc in the halls.” He gazed back to you, and you felt a lump forming in your throat, a fresh set of tears prickling at the back of your eyes. “The sound of their cries and laughter filling the rooms. To see them as they grow and blossom.” He paused, and you could see he was choosing his words carefully. You felt a knot grow in your stomach. “But, I am starting to think—”

“Please, Oberyn,” you interrupted, your voice cracking as you closed your eyes, your fingers tightening their grip on his. “Do not say—”

“We need to take a step back, my love.”

Your eyes snapped opened. That was not exactly what you expected. You had expected him to say that you two should give up, forget the notion of ever having your own babe. Perhaps, he would even suggest an orphan child; you were not opposed to the idea, you loved children and would gladly be a mother to a child in need of one. But, you were not ready to give up the idea of having your own yet. 

“A step back?” you asked, your eyes filled with confusion as you released your grasp on his hand. You were not entirely sure where your husband was going with this statement. You could not imagine that he was implying to stop fucking. Though Oberyn had aged, he still enjoyed the pleasures of sex (as did you) and the idea that he would give that up? Preposterous. “Are you suggesting we stop fucking, dear husband?”

Oberyn looked aghast at your suggestion, and it made the corner of your mouth tick up. “What a ridiculous notion, dear wife,” he said, mimicking your words back to you, his voice sounding almost betrayed that you would think such a thing. Even suggest such a thing. “Besides,” he started, voice dropping an octave in tone and pitch as he moved both hands, the one on your stomach and the one on your cheek, to come and rest on your hips once more. Oberyn’s callused fingers dipped into your hipbone and held tightly, almost too tightly. It barely phased you. “The idea that I could keep my hands, mouth and cock to myself around you is absurd,” he muttered, a wicked grin spread across his face, his dark eyes flashing with lust. It lasted only a moment before the smirk fell, and a serious look appeared upon his face. “However, if you wish to cease—”

You shook your head. “No, no,” you muttered. “I could not do that to you.”

“My love—”

“I’ve already asked too much of you by ceasing our activities with others.”

“Which,” he started softly, “I had no issue forgoing for you, my dove.” He paused and removed on have from your hip. He placed a finger under your chin and pushed up, lifting your head to make sure that your eyes caught his rich, dark orbs. “You have my body, my heart, and my soul. I love you. Whatever you need, I will comply.”

Your heart swelled in your chest. Oberyn partook in every pleasure imaginable, had never denied himself and tried almost every sexual act under the sun. And yet, here he was, willing to forgo sex for you. You knew he loved you, but this? This proved how far he would go for you, the lengths he would go to make sure you were well, that you were content. Whatever you needed, it seemed, he would gladly give it to you. 

“No, Oberyn,” you started and he opened his mouth once more, but you stopped him as you placed a hand on his cheek. “I am — I have no problem continuing our sexual activities.”  

You watched as Oberyn studied you, his dark eyes scanning your face for any sign that you might be hiding the truth from him. After a moment, he seemed content with what he found. He nodded and removed his finger from your chin. “Then, that is settled. But, I think, my dove we may have put too much pressure on ourselves,” he murmured, turning his head into your palm, and pressing a soft kiss to the center of it. “Not that our lovemaking is not pleasurable, it most certainly is, always,” Oberyn said, turning his gaze back to you, slipping on another mischievous smirk his let his free hand come to rest just below your breast. “But, perhaps, we’ve forgotten what it is like to be us,” he said, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your neck as you let your hand fall from his cheek and back to your side. “Without pressures.” Another kiss, lips moving down. “Without worries.” And, another, lower. “Only us.” His final kiss landed on your shoulder. “Return to an earlier time, when we had first laid eyes upon each other. Do you remember those days, my love?”

You nodded. You remembered those days vividly; the hours spent walking through the water gardens, talking about everything and nothing. The nights spent together, tangled in each other, exploring each other with hands, lips and teeth. Back then, all you had wanted to do was learn about the man you shared your bed — and soon, your life — with, and he had wanted the same. Oberyn still attended to his duties, as required, but every moment when he was not busy, he was with you and you were with him. 

Then, when you had married, more of your time had become consumed with your own requirements and duties as well as his own. Much of your time together was spent was in the evenings, in your bed in hopes of conceiving a child. 

“Perhaps, my love,” Oberyn started again, “we need to allow ourselves to enjoy each others company, get lost in each other.” A brief pause. “In and out of our bed.” You caught Oberyn’s dark orbs, and him yours. The hand on your ribs was removed, and placed instead upon your cheek. You leaned into his touch. “What do you say, my dove? We do not forgo our dream of one day having a babe of our own. We just,” he paused, for a moment, a thoughtful look in his eye, “allow ourselves not to be pressured or burdened by the notion? Return to simpler times, so to speak?” 

You let your husband’s suggestion mull in your head for a moment. Perhaps, he was right; perhaps the two of you had been too focused on conceiving a child that you had, unintentionally, made sex a burden. Oberyn was not wrong; your times with him were always pleasurable and the two of you never fucked if either of you was in no mood to engage in sex. But when you did, perhaps, the burden was there, always lingering in the back of your mind. That the burden had become an unknown weight upon you, upon Oberyn. It would be nice to silence that burden for a while. 

“My love?”

You blinked and focused your gaze back on Oberyn. His deep brown eyes were studying you, patiently waiting for your response. You smiled softly at him. “You are right, my prince,” you agreed, and you watched as a triumphant look filled his eyes, the corner of his lip ticking up. You narrowed your gaze slightly. “Watch that ego of yours, husband.” Oberyn chuckled lowly and moved to grasp your hips. He pulled you tight against him, a wicked smile on his face.

“Or what, dove? Hm?”

“Or,” you started, lifting arms and wrapping the loosing around his neck and shoulders, “it will get you killed one day.”

Oberyn raised an eyebrow. “Will it now? By whom?”

You held your chin up. “Me.” Oberyn laughed, the sound filling your shared chambers, and now it was your turn to raise an eyebrow. “You doubt me, my prince?”

“I do not doubt, your strength, my love,” he said through the laughter, which slowly began to die down as the milliseconds passed. “Or your cunning wit. However, I do know that you love me too much to even harm a hair on my head.” He paused and titled his head. “Well, unless in the throes of passion, of course,” he added, another mischievous grin pulling at his lips. “Then well?” He shrugged nonchalantly. “It cannot be helped.”

You rolled your eyes in annoyance, but you knew the smile pulling at your lips betrayed you. “Whatever you say, my prince,” you muttered.

Oberyn hummed thoughtfully. You had thought to say something else, but before you could even open your mouth to speak, Oberyn’s lips were on yours, his tongue licking at the seam of your lips, seeking entrance. And, you willing granted him entry. His tongue slid harshly against yours, warm, wet and unyielding. A small moan escaped your lips as your arms tightened around his neck, fingers tangling into the curls at the nap of his neck. You used your hold to pull yourself even closer to him, pressing your chest against his as you slipped your thigh between his legs, pressing it against his swelling cock. A low growl escaped his throat, one that was eagerly swallowed by your lips as his grip on your hips tightened.

There was a loud knock at your chamber door.

Oberyn barely pulled away, mumbling, “ignore it,” against your lips before sliding his lips against yours again. And, you had planned to, already lost in the taste of him. However, the moment his tongue had slipped back in to your moth, there was another knock. This time, much louder.

“M’lord?” It was one of the man servants. “Are you in there?”

Oberyn groaned and pulled his lips away from yours reluctantly. “Yes,” he responded, his voice stern, but somewhat out of breath. You smiled. “But.” One of his hands travelled from you hip, up to your side, coming to rest on your breast. He kneaded the flesh, and you let out a soft mewl, heading falling back, eyes closing. “I am very, very busy. So, if you’ll ex—”

“Your presence is requested, m’lord.”

Oberyn rolled his eyes. “By whom?” he asked, but he did not bother to move toward the door to let the servant in, only lowered his head to your neck. He gave the skin at the base of your neck a quick, hard nip. You let out a small yelp of surprise mixed with pleasure as you tugged on Oberyn’s dark locks once more.

You were sure the man servant now knew exactly why Oberyn was busy — or, more accurately, whom he was busy with.

“Your brother, m’lord,” he answered, his voice tight and proper.

Oberyn growled against your skin in irritation before he nipped the skin again, this time worrying the skin for a brief moment. “Oberyn,” you whined, the sound a little louder than a whisper. Another nip in the same area. You were sure you’d have a bruise within the hour. You straightened your neck and opened your eyes. “Oberyn,” you said again, trying to quell the ever growing arousal pooling between your legs. However, his name sounded too breathless and needy on your lips. You glanced down at him the best you could, and saw his dark orbs shining with lust. Oberyn gave a sly smirk.

“M’lord?”

You knew he didn’t want to go, that he would rather lose himself in your body and pleasure. However, you knew that if he did not go now, it would only mean more time away from each other later.

“M’lord? He wishes to speak with you as soon as possible. If you could please open this door, and—”

“Go,” you whispered, ignoring the man servant’s plea, scratching at the back of Oberyn’s neck and giving him a soft smile. “The sooner you meet with him, the sooner you are back in our bed.”

Oberyn raised his head, his eyes watching you closely. The hand resting on your breast slide up and over your shoulder. His callused fingers began to play with the strap on your gown. “And you will be waiting for me?”

“Of course,” you answered, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Unless, you’d like to visit the brothel tonight?” Oberyn raised an eyebrow. “It’s been a while, my prince, and that is my fault. I know I asked you, and you willingly followed my request. But, I do not wish to hold you back anymore. If you would like to share a bed again, I am more than willing to share tonight.”

Oberyn leaned forward, capturing your lips in a searing kiss, but before it could go farther, he was pulling away. He grinned down at you. “Perhaps another night, my dove. Tonight, I plan to keep you.” The hand on your hip slide off and over, his hand cupping your clothed and aching center. A small whimper escaped your lips, and Oberyn’s own lips twisted into a wicked smile. “And, this pretty cunt all to myself tonight.” He leaned forward, his lips hovering near your ear. His warm breath ghosted over the shell, making you shiver. “Make you come undone upon my tongue for hours,” he whispered, the word sending a fresh flood of arousal between your legs.

“Oberyn—” your voice sounded choked, hoarse, needy.

“Before I finally sink into that tight little cunt.” He pulled your earlobe between his teeth, and worried the skin. You groaned, eyes falling closed as you grasped at his upper arm for support. His teeth released your lobe. “And fuck you until the sun rises.”

You bite down on your lip to stifle the moan that threatened to escape your throat. Oberyn pulled back, hand sliding from your aching center to your hip, and looked at you, that wicked grin still pulling at his lips. “Perhaps—”

“M’lord?” The man servant sounded terse, clearly annoyed that he was still standing outside the door. You glanced at Oberyn to see him roll his eyes, irritation clearly written on his face. “I am sorry, but, I believe—”

“Tell him I will be there in a moment,” Oberyn all but growled through the door at the man servant. You gently swatted at his chest, and gave him a look that silently told him to be nice. Oberyn sighed. “If you would be so kind,” he added, his voice much less demanding as he glanced over his shoulder toward the door.

“Um, I would,” the man started, “but he — he requested that I personally accompany you, Prince Oberyn.”

Oberyn rolled his eyes once more. “Of course he did,” he muttered.

You bite your lip once more, this time trying to stifle a giggle that threatened to erupt. However, it escaped — a meager sound, but a giggle nonetheless. “He knows you all too well, my prince.”

“That he does,” he muttered, and let out another heavy sigh before turning his head and attention back on you. “You’ll be fine, my dove?”

And, you knew what he was asking. He was not just asking if you would be fine while he was away, or if you would be fine for the rest of the day. No, he was asking that and more, much more. Oberyn was asking if you’d be fine from here on out with what you two had agreed upon. Would you really and truly be fine with forgoing your want for a babe? Forgoing the need you had created to conceive a child for the foreseeable future. Were you, for now, fine with only having him in your life? No children, only him, only your prince. Only your husband. Only Oberyn. 

You smiled sweetly, and reached out, placing a hand upon his cheek. “Yes, my love. As long as you promise to stay by my side until one of us takes our dying breath.”

Oberyn smiled, his dark orbs shining brightly with love and adoration for you. He reached out and covered your hand on his cheek with his, squeezing your fingers gently. “Promise.”

You nodded. “Now,” you started, letting your hand slide from his cheek, his fingers still grasping at yours, “go on. Before your brother comes and hunts you down himself.”

Oberyn scoffed, and looked toward the door. “That’ll be the day,” he muttered, and you chuckled softly, shaking your head.

“Go,” you said, voice a little stern as you gently pushed at his shoulder in an attempt to move him toward the door.

Oberyn laughed softly and untangled his fingers from yours. “Fine, my dove, I am going,” he muttered, leaning down to press a soft, quick kiss to your lips. “I will see you in a few hours.” Oberyn took a step back from you, his eyes never leaving yours. He grinned and took another step back. “Make sure you’re ready for me.”

You smirked. “Do not worry about me, my prince. I will be,” you said and he grinned, all teeth and wicked before turning on his heel, and leaving your shared chambers.

The door shut behind him with a resounding thud, but this time, it did not cause you heartache. There was no finality or dread that sank into your bones. It was just the sound of a door opening and closing, as they always do.

Perhaps, you had closed the door on your dreams of having little ones. But, it wasn’t locked; you could open that door once more, when the time was right. Or, perhaps, you’d find another door, another way. However, right now, you would enjoy the idea of a closed door.

taglist (for pedro characters):

@over300books​

#oberyn martell x reader #oberyn martell x you #oberyn martell imagine #oberyn martell imagines #game of thrones imagine #game of thrones imagines #my writing

[scottydog4-blog]

Okay.

It’s been a day.

There are now a LOT of gifs and Twitter-pinions about the premier, and I have some too.

When I finished ‘More Joy’, I quite literally thought “I want them to go back to how it was”…. and I felt like a complete Sharpwin traitor. I actually wanted to box it all back up and have the old Max and Helen back, corridor walks and longing stares, all happening safely inside the walls of New Amsterdam hospital. And at the same time I wanted to rewatch the whole episode to see new Max and Helen again because they were (mostly) adorable.

Then I spent the day reflecting and the more I thought about what I didn’t like, the more I realised one thing. I didn’t like that they weren’t at the hospital. It felt so weird to see them at Helen’s place, half dressed and TALKING, openly. It was a bit too much for my over analytical, ready-to-pick-up-on-all-and-any-subtext brain. It was a change seeing them like that, and I don’t seem to like change. Which is hard because it seems season 4 is not only about joy, but about change.

Yes yes, the first scene was 🔥🔥🔥 endless gifs. In hindsight, I wish I’d never seen any previews but alas, I’m a spoiler junkie. It was awesome though.

The second scene was slightly dramatic and achieved its goal of throwing a nice cold-bucket-of-water on the moment 🥶🥶🥶

The third scene did feel a little out of left field because in Helen’s season finale London movie her mum was not very likeable and for most of Season 3 Mina was a pain in the ass, so wanting us to root for her to go hang out with both of them instead of her very warm and loving NA fam and her new hot boyfriend is a hard sell! But go read someone else’s analysis of that because a lot has been said about her past and her healing journey etc. I can accept it, it’ll just sting a bit (see hatred of change above).

I’m going for the next three scenes.

Scene four. I loved it because they were up and they were walking about and talking normally and I think them walking and talking is as much part of both of their characters as their longing looks. He’s followed her down endless hospital corridors, now around her apartment, and maybe soon across an ocean. And yes you can complain about the I love yous, or you might love how they happened. Whatever. All I saw was Max react to her saying ‘I love you’ as if finally, even to him, this was completely obvious. I mean, his face is like ‘duh’. It’s why he’s ready to fight so hard for her. He’s not second guessing that she loves him anymore. And that felt good to see.

Scene five. I hated it. I still do. But I hate it because it makes me feel uneasy and uncomfortable, like it becomes painfully obvious that their long distance solution is not going to work and it’s awkward watching them realise it to. Which is the point. Because we all need to get that long distance is just not going to work. If they went down that route for an episode or two (or five) then that would mean Helen would be able to leave, and Max would stay, and that’s certainly not what we want. She’s one of our favourite doctors and she has amazing patient storylines and being Max’s long distance girlfriend is not just a down grade for Helen (and Freema), it’s insulting. What I think most viewers would have liked by the end of this scene is literally for Helen to give up on her London dream so everything goes back to being easy and we would get Max and Helen staying at New Amsterdam, same as they always have been, only now perfectly in love. Also an insult to woman everywhere. But you know who absolutely never tries to suggest that, who keeps making suggestion after suggestion, who literally declares different iterations of “it’s gunna work” every time she implies that it won’t. Max. He never asks her not to do this, only reassures her they’ll figure it all out. And that also felt good to see.

Lastly, scene six. My absolute favourite (yes, above scene one). It makes complete sense now why the last scene on the roof is the most comfortable one to watch. Because it’s them. Max and Helen. Back at New Amsterdam. On their roof. Just existing next to each other. Clothed (lol). “Oh hi” never sounded so good after all the ups and downs during the episode. Glancing at each other as they chat in front of the NYC skyline. That feeling that everything had changed evaporated instantly. Change MAY be coming, but for now they are still here.

And when they do start to talk about them, it doesn’t feel so weird. In fact, this scene is literally pure JOY. How can you argue otherwise? Max, who admitted on the very same roof to the very same woman how he’d let his wife down because he couldn’t turn down his chance to climb ‘Everest’, is now willing to do the exact opposite and GIVE UP his Everest so Helen can climb hers. Because he loves her. Plus, LOOK AT FREEMA’S FACE. How does she do all those emotions like that? And then there’s Max, who just looks back at her like ‘of course I’ll follow you, you’re my joy silly.’

SO MUCH JOY ON THAT ROOF!!!

People are only mad because they are freaking out about how the show creators are going to possibly make this work without them. And that in itself is just totally unnecessary.

New Amsterdam is a show about the Medical Director, Max Goodwin, and all his awesome staff. It’s about patients. It’s about shining a light on things and causes that matter. It’s about New York (see all those rooftop scenes, that skyline is the other character). People LOVE it just as it is. WE love it. Those things are the premise of the whole show. So can everyone CHILL. What they’ve done, is they’ve put that thing we love on the line and now we are all wanting to know how the hell they’re going to fix this mess. And they are going to say OVER and OVER that Max and Helen are DEFINITELY leaving because implying otherwise undermines the whole storyline. We need to feel they are leaving to be invested in whatever happens next. Time jump or mind changes or any number of things they might throw our way to get a back to the premise of the show. And we are going to tune in week after week to find out. And that my friends, is how television works. And thinking they were going to do otherwise was just setting yourself up for disappointment.

To the people demanding Max and Helen be happy for at least one episode… um, they looked very happy in episode 1 and they look very happy up against an ambulance in episode 2, and in the corridor smooching in episode 3, and wandering the streets of NYC some time in the future…

To the people who thought they were getting 5 full minutes of sexy times. I believe what we were told was we’d be ‘happy with the first 5 minutes’ (e.g. that glorious time before Helen said ‘I should never have…’)

To the people who read every single article and Q&A - Schulner LITERALLY said so many times that the season would be about discovering your joy and what happens after you get what you want. I think one time he even mentioned ‘chasing after’ it. We were basically warned and WE ARE LITERALLY LIVING THIS NOW TOO. We got Sharpwin, now we have to live with what happens next. Cause and effect in action.

To the people annoyed with all the drama this show has caused. It’s a… drama show. It was to be expected.

So let’s try to relax and enjoy the ride :)

#new amsterdam #sharpwin #helen sharpe #max goodwin #helen x max

[ailendolin]

1, 6 & 14 for the ghosts ask game 😄

Thank you so much for sending these, dear anon! 💙 (And apologies because the answers got long.)

1. Who is your favourite character?

Thomas because he’s such a complex and fascinating character and beautifully flawed. I think he is someone who stands in his own way a lot. He clearly has a talent for poetry (“It’s no fault of the sun if the eye sees not its beauty.”) but he thinks about it too much. He’s stuck in his head, trying to force the words instead of just saying how he feels, and episode 3x03 highlights that perfectly. I really hope we’ll see him gradually becoming more and more aware of the fact that his words are more meaningful when he lets his heart speak – and if not, then I hope he’ll never let the others’ opinions stop him from doing what he loves. As long as he enjoys composing poetry, it doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad.

Another thing I hope we get to see in the future is him opening up more to the other ghosts and Alison. For someone who’s very loud and vocal most of the time, Thomas shares surprisingly little about himself. I mean, he clearly wants people to know him, but he doesn’t want them to know the bad parts. The ones that hurt. I’ve touched on that already on a previous ask but when it comes to the retelling of his death, the only thing he truly omits and lies about is that he died alone and unloved. He doesn’t lie about the paces or his inability to even fire one shot at his opponent – only about the part that caused him the most emotional pain. It actually makes me think that something similar might be going on when he talks about his mother. There are two moments in the show when he mentions her: one where she’s hanging up his poetry and another where she’s ignoring him when he was a young child and crying. Both times he implies he felt unloved / unwanted / unappreciated – only to immediately make light of it. I don’t know if I’m reaching here but I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out that Thomas never received much affection or attention when he was young. His mother might have put his poetry on display and financed his life but that’s really not the same as being held when you’re crying or having your wounds kissed better when you’re hurt, is it? Perhaps that also explains his clumsy way of trying to gain attention now – he simply doesn’t know better.

In short, I have lots of feelings about Thomas and I think there’s more to him than meets the eye.

6. Fave episode over all?

Oh that’s a difficult one to answer. There’s something about every episode I love so I don’t think I actually have one specific favourite episode. There are a few that stand out for various reasons, but I think if I had to choose, I would probably pick The Woodworm Men because it’s the reason why I started watching the show in the first place. I stumbled upon a gif of that scene where Alison and Thomas are watching the sunrise and there was just something about it that made me think, “This looks wonderful. I really need to check it out.” I had no context for it and yet I immediately felt drawn to the characters. When I finally got the DVDs and made it to scene it did not disappoint. I love the lighting, the quietness, Thomas being actually poetic for once and how the moment is not about Alison at all. We get to see a different side of Thomas here. He’s come a long way from the Thomas we’ve met at the start of the show and I really like his character development.

But this scene, while special to me, is not the only reason why I love this episode. Everything else that’s going on is quite brilliant as well. Mary, for one, is hilarious and I love the comeback of the “Get out, get out, get out…” and how she performs that ritual to cleanse the house. Julian and Robin huddling together because they’re scared was something I didn’t know I needed in my life but I’m so glad we got it. These two are one of my favourite duos in the show. Pat giving Cap the Teamwork badge always warms my heart and Kitty watching and then NOT watching Grease will never not be funny. It’s just a wonderful episode overall with great character moments all around.

Honorary mention goes to the Christmas special because of the carol singing. I had goosebumps the first time I heard Thomas joining in with the harmonies and got very emotional when the rest started singing too, even the Plague Ghosts. It’s probably my favourite moment in the show overall.

14. Fave one-liner?

There’s so many! How can I possibly choose? The first ones that come to mind are Thomas’s “Answer the question, damn your eyes!” and Mary’s “What be a toosie?” and “Oh, a laughing horse!” They never fail to make me laugh and I love that “Damn you eyes” has become a recurring thing now.

But one that always gets me is Thomas telling Alison, “Hands at our sides. We’re not a seagull,” when he’s teaching her how to give a speech. That one’s brilliant and makes me glad I’ve left academia behind and no longer have to give talks at conferences because I would probably hear his voice in my head every single time I start waving my hands around when presenting my research 😂

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