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#me suffering over this quote and making it work for the old guard
imdefyingmavity · 1 year
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"Dutch never cared, Dutch never loved them." No hate if you believe that but, for me, the reason Dutch is so fascinating is because (imo) he did care. Because he did have a heart. Because he wasn't just a monster.
Does that still make him a liar and manipulator? Hell yes. To the point that he himself bought into every bit of bullshit he said. When he says this man who is only eight years younger than him is his son, he believes that. When he says he would give his life for any of his gang in Colter, in the moment he believes that. But acting on what he believes is another story. I think Dutch is an expert at disassociating from reality. What do you mean he "ran away" and left Arthur for death, of course not, he did no such thing - or so he will convince himself as much as the others. What do you mean he didn't have a plan to rescue John from jail, of course he did....He just hadn't thought of it yet and they were only "talking" of hanging him so it's not that big of a deal - again, so he convinces himself. Even years later when John is confronting him, he still deflects with putting it on his son or how he "didn't have a choice." Dutch convinces himself that he has no active role in the awful things that happen to those he cares about. It doesn't mean he wouldn't want to save them...but he just doesn't.
Just like how Mary talks about Arthur being a good man wrestling with a giant, Dutch is wrestling with a coward and the coward wins more as the story progresses. I think this is what is meant more when he tells John that all he ever did, all his life, was fight but he can't fight his own nature, again deflecting the responsibility of his actions. Sure he kills people in terrible ways but the worst sins that weigh on him are his inability to act for those he loves. His failure to save Hosea even though the robbery wasn't his idea he does it still, his failure to do anything but run away when his sons needed saving. He even tries to run from the grief itself when his partner of over twenty years dies and it contributes to his mental instability (see the chess scene like in Lakay, c'mon, dude is clearly not with it).
This isn't me defending Dutch in any way, I just finished a second playthrough and spent every second he was on screen cursing at the tv again. But I do think he was a man who genuinely did believe in his philosophy, who tried to be a better leader to his gang than someone like Colm - a father even - and I do believe he loved Hosea, Arthur, John, Jack, Tilly, Sean, Lenny and maybe some others. The scenes with "the old guard" laughing, fishing and reminiscing seem pointless without there being a real foundation there. The scenes in chapter six where Arthur and Micah are positioned like an angel and devil either side of Dutch as opposed to just Dutch and Micah on the same side all the time, as well as the performance itself, show Dutch being pulled and struggling to decide what is right, he just always picks the wrong one. Dutch's broken reaction to Arthur's final words only make sense if you believe there's a heart in there to be broken, if there's a man inside who is aware - even just partly - that he's done wrong and failed. The only reason he'd have to kill Micah and leave John the money is if there was some part of him that has spent the last seven years being haunted by his actions and wanted to find some way to make up for them. A truly evil, heartless person would have killed John there and then and taken the money. All of this only works if there was love in the first place.
The problem is, and to quote His Dark Materials, love isn't always enough. It's not enough to fight against an obvious mental illness, it's not enough to stop you being a coward and letting those you love suffer for the sake of your own survival. Dutch is obviously a narcissist but narcissists are not incapable of love, it's just their view of the world is very inward, and those that they love are seen as extensions of themselves (often parents with children). The reason Arthur could win his internal struggle is because he was able to see a world beyond his own life and needs; Dutch couldn't, as much as he probably liked to believe he could be capable of doing so even if just to be the hero the gang saw him as. He wanted faith but I don't think he truly had any in himself as much as the rest of the gang did by the final chapter, and with Arthur's death it breaks any last delusions he had about himself, to the point that seven years later he can no longer give a big long speech to justify himself, he just "ain't got much to say no more". If those aren't the words of a broken man then I don't know what is.
(Please don't confuse "broken man" with "poor little meow meow", tumblr, I see you).
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thenewblackcanvas · 5 months
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You love me right?
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taehyung x reader 18+ only, minors dni themes: no real smut in this one, just bleak/dark, implied smut, yandere-ish, spooky, thriller, sad, spooky season♡ Spooky Season 2023♡
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Your head is throbbing. As you groan and start to move you think you hear something.
Immediately, you stop moving. The stillness chills you. You venture to open your eyes, taking in the dilapidated place you seem to be in. The quiet is dense. Creaks coming from distant parts of the house as faint wind blows through the old wood.
You pull yourself up to sit and stare into the darkness.
There is a sound behind you and suddenly there is light and warmth at your back. 
You turn around to see your boyfriend sitting in front of a fireplace. He’s hunched over with hands collapsed and elbows on his knees. The glow against his skin makes him look sexy and brooding though you can’t shake the unease that is growing. “We’ve had fun right?”
“What?”
He looks up. “You and I. You love me right?”
Your eyes widen and you stutter, caught off guard.
“I heard you. ‘I fucking love you’ ‘I want to stay by your side’ ‘Please make me yours’”
Despite the strange way he’s talking, you blush furiously. Some of the words he quoted were in the throws of passion as you were drunk on him. Others were when you thought him to be sleep. “Taehyung, I-I didn’t think you heard that.”
He smiles widely, genuinely as he comes next to you on the floor. “I love you too.”
His smile melts you for a moment. You want to kiss him but return to your senses as you look around, remembering your strange surroundings. “Where are we, by the way?”
He smiles again. “I thought I would have to come back here by myself. Another miserable decade alone and unseen.”
Your brows furrow. 
“All the people that just wanted to fuck or go on a thousand dates. I thought nobody would become substantial by All Hallow’s Eve.”
“Why are you talking so weird? And were you dating other people??”
“We can be together now.” Taehyung’s eyes are wild as he gives you a big smile.
“T-Tae, explain what you mean. Please” your gentle pleading with falling tears finally coaxes coherent words from him.”
“I’ve been here so long.” He huffs a laugh with no hint of real humor. 
“H-How long?” “Since 1980.”
You obviously didn’t want to believe him. It made no sense. Nothing about it could be true.
But…something told you it was. Maybe the way the hair on your arms stood on edge or the way his eyes seemed to drain of all life before only white covered them.
“You know I died right there? Right where you are is where I died alone. Lived alone, died alone and even in death there was no one waiting for me." He sighs. “My case went cold and this house was all I had, but look at it now,” he says in disgust. “Left to rot. It’s falling apart, but I put everything I had into this house. My collection probably ended up in some evidence locker if it had blood and some pawn shop otherwise.”
He starts to have warm angry tears running down his face. “I’ve had to sit here for decades looking at everything I worked for just fall apart.”
He took a deep breath as the white melts, his pupils visible again as warmth comes back to his eyes. “But I finally found you. Someone to lift this burden from me.”
He pushes himself up from the lone chair. The glint of a knife now catching your attention. 
You stagger back. “T-Tae?”
He advances forward slowly. As you move backward, keeping an eye on the knife, you trip over a warped floorboard. “Aw baby no” he looks genuinely sad. “Don’t run now.”
He stares at you with sad eyes. “It said I could be human again. Just give my life for another before Halloween and it will be like I never left. Like I never lost a drop of blood on this floor.” You began to shake in fear at the implication but his next words seemed even worse. He stepped forward again with tears falling but a smile coming back to his face. “Then I found you. Why suffer another lonely existence when WE could be together forever? I’ll never be alone again.” He doesn’t stop moving toward you until you start to cough.
Once then twice until you're in a full coughing fit.
He tsks. “I thought that would be easier but you woke up too quick. I realized I didn’t give you enough. I don’t want you to suffer so let me do this for you. It will be quick this way.”
He holds your chin as you struggle to pull his hand off. You're trying desperately to take in a breath while being unable to cough. After the seconds of struggling that felt like hours he starts to move the blade but you shove at his face when your hand feel his chin. It staggers him enough to loose his grip on you. 
You fall forward and gasp breaths but don’t feel much better. It is only then you see the blood pooling. In your strugle you hadn’t noticed in that last moment that he succeeded in cutting your throat. It wasn’t good enough to be quicker as you let the pain start to sink in.
He tries to come at you again but only succeeds in slashing the arm holding your throat. “Stop resisting, I thought you love me!” He exclaims as he stabs and stabs, puncturing anywhere he can reach. You kick him but he barely reacts, pushing your leg away.
The clock on the fireplace soon strikes midnight. As you fight for your life, he starts going transparent.
His further attempts to hurt you are in vain as the knife soon becomes unstable in his rapidly disappearing hands until it finally drops. It lands on you as you loose energy.
You look on in horror as you hold your neck and your insides burn. Though the pain everywhere is intense your eyes stay on him.
He smiles slightly. “You can still see me?”
You can’t answer as you continue to cough and bleed but he smiles wider as he can tell he is what your scared eyes are fixated on.
“Don't fear baby. If you can see me, it worked. Just let go and you'll be with me.”
As the dizziness starts to set in all you can see is Taehyung's smiling face.
You wake up again with eyes wide as saucers.
Taehyung is nowhere in sight so you creep slowly for a few steps before making a run for it. You get to the grass before feeling like you hit a wall. “I’m sorry baby but November means we’re sealed. Another year needs to pass before can leave.”
With those heavy words, you turn to see him in the doorway. He smiles as he turns around back into the house. Taehyung goes to pour a drink from the empty bottle into the dingy whiskey glass. He places a record down, placing the needle carefully. As he starts to dance to nothing, you can't help but watch with tears streaming down your face. He’s moving about as if his home is still how he left it. Somehow unable to grasp again that his home is a skeleton of what it used to be. Instead of the nostalgic stupor he’s enjoying, you're left with the image of him stepping over your lifeless body as he continues dancing to nothing.
“I hate you.” you cry. “I fucking hate you.”
He purses his lips pulling you in to hold you, as he still sways to nothing. “You don’t mean that. I’m all you've got.”
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septembersghost · 1 year
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people have been so mean about EP's looks and health later in life but something I loved in the movie was how it points out his voice. his voice was almost too powerful. even though he was suffering, he kept singing with all his might.
that part in the movie is when i fully break (if i can dream breaks me for different reasons 💖). that old voice rang out, and he sang with all his life. he is singing for his life. he's singing for everything, with everything he has. the film underscores this for us with such frankness and compassion. it was love. all along, it was love.
i have an excerpt saved somewhere about his voice and how he worked to keep expanding and improving it, how its tone got even more rich and full, the golden qualities it took on. since i can't find it right now and that's going to bother me, i'll use some others!
sherrill nielsen (the gospel tenor who sang backup for e with the imperials/voice) said it really well: "He got even more maturity in his voice as he got older; I was often amazed at his range, just as one singer listening to another. He could sing anything. I've never seen such a versatility, and in fact I don't see it today. Usually a voice can sing one way, but he had that ability about him, and he helped me to learn the importance of communication with an audience. He had such great soul. He had the ability to make everyone in the audience think that he was singing directly to them. He just had a way with communication that was totally unique."
if you listen to him sing from that later period, there are these aspects of his voice that go from like honey to thunder, bell to timpani. all the romanticism and sensuality from when he was young matures into that embrace of aching soulfulness, and yet he could still be sweet and light, and funny too. the spiritual songs feel even more inspired. the love songs more warm and yet sometimes more sharp-edged all at once, the robustness of his voice threaded through with tender melancholy beneath it. you said his voice was almost too powerful, and what remarkably softens its power is that infusion of humanity, hurt to humor. he might be too overwhelmingly powerful, except he's still elvis, and his gift was connection. the heart he laid into his music doesn't become more guarded, but less so. he's right there, giving all he has, and that's for us. (okay, the audience at the time, but it's still for us too.) he'd sing, and then he'd get that deceptively innocent grin and almost dare them - do you like it? you wanna hear me sing it better? - and then he would. through everything, whatever battles there might have been...music was the sanctuary to lay the armor down. he gave that with every part of himself and with such love for the people who'd rapturously share it with him and reach out for what he was offering. it's as though his spirit got closer and closer to the surface, and etched itself in every song.
these quotes are all sort of asides, that came up when i tried to google the actual thing i was looking for, but they're so <333
"I am reminded of a comment made shortly after the death of Elvis Presley by a musician he had worked with. He pointed out that despite an impressive vocal range of two and a half octaves and something approaching perfect pitch, Elvis was perfectly willing to sing off-key when he thought the song required it. Those off-key notes were art." - Patrick H. Adkins
"His personality was also extremely endearing, his interviews were very self-effacing, and he came over as gentle and was generous in his praise of others. He had a natural, technical ability, but there was something in the humanity of his voice, and his delivery." - Ian Gillan of Deep Purple
"The guy had a thousandth-octave range, and a variety in his vocal styles and approach, he could make more vocal tones, with just his voice, than a guitar player with 50 pedals and gadgets. If you never even saw the guy, you could plain feel, not just hear, the emotion and passion in his voice, and you are immediately taken in, one hundred percent." - Country singer Roger Wallace "He was the most commercially successful singer of rock and roll, but he also had success with ballads, country, gospel, blues, pop, folk and even semi-operatic and jazz standards. His voice, which developed into many voices as his career progressed, had always a unique tonality and an extraordinarily unusual center of gravity, leading to his ability to tackle a range of songs and melodies which would be nearly impossible for most other popular singers to achieve."
"Presley brought an excitement to singing, in part because rock and roll was greeted as his invention, but for other reasons not so widely reflected on: Elvis Presley had the most beautiful singing voice of any human being on earth." - William F. Buckley, Jr.
"The voice is so melodious, and - of course, by accident, this glorious voice and musical sensibility was combined with this beautiful, sexual man and this very unconscious - or unselfconscious stage movements. Presley's registration, the breadth of his tone, listening to some of his records, you'd think you were listening to an opera singer. But…it's an opera singer with a deep connection to the blues." - Jerry Wexler, co-founder of Atlantic Records.
"Elvis' range was about two and a quarter octaves, as measured by musical notation, but his voice had an emotional range from tender whispers to sighs down to shouts, grunts, grumbles and sheer gruffness that could move the listener from calmness and surrender, to fear. His voice can not be measured in octaves, but in decibels; even that misses the problem of how to measure delicate whispers that are hardly audible at all." - Lindsay Waters, Executive Editor for the Humanities at Harvard University Press
the quote i shared the other day, saying he could go from "nearly infinite sweetness, to ferocity, to spirituality, to tremendous power," it's extraordinary how accessible that sensation still is, how vibrant in recordings, studio or live, in film footage, professional or barely visible from old cameras. @joons (who probably could explain this better or add more to this than me!), sent me this the other night:
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it's like he existed to fulfill every purpose of what music is meant to do - thrill, inspire, mourn, rejoice, storm, caress, devastate, uplift - whatever a song could require, he'd meet it. it's why he was a rock and roll sensation and yet so revelatory with the gospel music too. it wasn't this separation of the profane and holy for him, it was ALL sacred in its own way. and as someone who believes music is a miracle and exists in many ways in a realm that's bigger than us (us not even being only humans! animals are touched by music too, for many reasons. it's beyond speech, beyond boundaries, beyond feelings we can form into words). it was all his soul reaching the souls listening. and nearer the end of his life, that took on richer qualities. i know my unabashed favorites are the american sound recordings, and the whole period from like '68-'72, where i feel like he was at that gorgeous cross-section between where he'd begun and where his voice would go, he's at this crackling range of technical strength and emotive finesse, but sometimes the music from later washes over me like a wave when i listen to it.
i talk a lot, but this was a perfect thing for you to send to me today, because we can look back and remember and celebrate this:
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i think about him saying he was just a little guy with a shaky leg, and the tremendous talent he honed so innately and beautifully, and the incalculable impact that had on the world of music, on countless artists, and continues to have to this day. an unchained melody.
he sang as he always did, with all his heart and soul.
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levy120 · 6 months
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[PART 1: Foreign] Rating: T Words: 1500 (Complete) Genre: Introspection, Speculation, AU Lore: Rayman 2, Captain Laserhawk speculation Characters: Rayman, unnamed manager, citizens
Summary: Rayman makes a Name for himself Warnings: F-Bomb, violence, drugs mentioned
AN: This escalated so much, so fast, but apparently I can't help the temptation and possibilities of a character deconstruction if it promises development - even if it's active deterioration.
Read also on: [dA] | now also on [ao3] ❗❗❗
See also: [Part 1] | [You are here] | [Part 3] | [Part 4] | [Part 5]
More like this: [Rayman Oneshots Masterpost]
That is not the same creature she left behind this morning.
The Limbless’s posture is straight, his glare confident. He's not at all what she would consider cute anymore.
There's a feral glint in his eyes that makes her scared of locking the door behind her. She just knows it will choose violence if given the chance.
Putting on a neutral face the assistant walks over with the regular dinner.
"So…" she starts and lifts the device with her notes again.
"Let's try this again. The file says your name is Rayman?"
It twists his head as if to loosen a neck that doesn't exist.
"Yes."
Ah. Good. So it's down for talking.
"What am I doing here?"
And asking questions already, it seems.
"We'll get to that," she replies, pointing her pen at his nose. "Let's deal with the basics first. So Razorbeard's report says you have experience with being - and I quote - 'a beacon of hope' - endquote."
That makes the limbless creature livid for some reason, but considering how they came to acquire him it's probably just salt in an open wound.
When it looks like he’s about to snarl a comment, she beats him to it.
"Case in point,” she says, “You can make people trust you?"
The question is met with a sneer.
"Why would that matter?"
The secretary stops, puts the tablet in her lap.
"The boss hasn't decided yet. It's not for me to tell," she says. "But-" she pokers, trying to read him.
"The people of this town could use a little hope for once."
The sneer doesn't vanish from his face, but she knows that she struck a chord with him by the look in his eyes. It betrays him. He's a softy at his core, and it bolsters her own resolve towards his earlier aggression.
So he can act on a surface level. Good. She ticks that box off in her mind, to report on later.
---
Why. Why. Why.
The question won't leave him.
The night is quiet and his thoughts are loud.
Why him?
Why do these people need hope?
Why are they suffering?
Why are the folk running this town in dealings with Razorbeard?
Why was he here?
It reeks to the skies and truth be told Rayman wants no part in it.
He misses his friends.
Mourns everyone who is still in Razorbeard's clutches.
But he hates to admit that his lot might be a good one.
No one has been rude or violent yet, or asked him to do something outrageous.
But it's just the calm before the storm, he tells himself. The second he lets his guard down the true colors will be revealed to him.
With a sigh, he stares up at the ceiling.
Maybe he should just go for it. Play along.
They do have connections to Razorbeard, and maybe, that’s the ticket to getting his friends out of there as well. A blessing in disguise.
It would be bold to assume - in his position - that he had the right to ask for favors if only he does as he's told.
But there's a pinprick of hope that drilled itself into his fluttering heart.
Maybe there's a chance in this entire mess. The lady hadn't been wrong when she'd called him a beacon. He wants it, truthfully.
It's just that he doesn't know what to do.
---
"Of course we'll pay you," she asserts. "We're not monsters, despite what the public unrest would have you believe."
Rayman considers her with… suspicion again.
"Is this a test?"
It’s certainly not the kind of favor he had in mind, upon asking.
"Honey," she says patronizingly, "I don't know where you come from, or how things worked in your old home, but you'll need pay if you wanna survive in this world."
He mulls that over in his mind with a hum.
"When do I meet your boss? You said he’d be coming around here?”
"My boss is your boss," the manager answers flatly. "You can have a meeting with him once you earn it. Until then all communication goes through me. Perform well, and he might be up for a chat."
Rayman’s demeanor shifts. That’s not what he’d been told yesterday!
The manager in turn can't help but notice the way his knuckles tighten unconsciously, but he'll just have to get used to receiving answers he might not like.
"Was that all?" she asks and prepares to leave.
"No," he says and walks around her to block her path. His body parts stretch further apart as though to make himself look taller, but it hardly works. She towers above him easily.
"Why do the people need hope so badly?"
She narrows her eyes at him. He's asking too many questions.
With a hum she starts tapping at her tablet.
"I'll organize a TV for your room," she says, "then you can watch the news."
At least that way they can control the kind of information he is fed.
---
That night, Rayman still can’t find sleep.
He honestly wonders whether he will again in the near future.
But this time, it’s not just his thoughts running wild.
There’s a commotion outside.
Some sort of alarm is blaring loud enough to wake him, street lights still glaring enough to pinpoint the scene of the scuffle from his window. It’s a loosing battle of a lone, hurt individual facing off against an entire mob.
Instinct takes hold, but when Rayman tries to wrench the window open, it won’t give.
So he’s winding his fist without thinking about it. Powers or no, he’ll just have to make habit do. After a couple of attempts the window cracks, and shatters. The blaring noise from outside gets worse. Even from up here he sees the group of people tearing into their victim already cowering on the ground. Without a second thought… Rayman jumps.
He’s using the momentum of the leap to get there faster, only activating his helicopter to soften the landing and decks the assailants to shield the victim.
“The fuck?!”
The one Rayman caught in the nose screams bloody murder and backs off. His fellows surround the Limbless, crude weaponry at the ready and flashlights blinding.
But Rayman’s not backing down. There’s a familiar fight tingling in his core. He lowers his center of gravity and starts winding his fist again.
The perpetrators run.
“Dude!” Someone cries out and it’s only now that Rayman takes note of a crowd that’s been watching the scuffle. Some of them are staring, others are holding up little gadgets pointed at him. It remind him of the manager’s gadget, but smaller.
A sudden flashing light blinds his gaze - but that’s at least something Rayman knows. Blinking the spots from his eyes he finds the dude with the camera staring open mouthed at him in the crowd.
He shields his gaze from the murmuring crowd. The victim still cowers on the ground in a frantic panic. Rayman turns to him with a concerned “Are you alright?” and reaches out a disembodied hand to him.
The guy gapes at him, his mouth going slack. He looks absolutely dazed.
With a shaking hand he reaches out for the one that’s been offered.
“I’ll never take drugs again,” he says, voice wavering.
---
"What did you DO?!" the manager is furious when she returns to his room. Wild pacing, slammed doors, everything. The breeze from the broken window is cool. A screeching tantrum.
"You weren't supposed to wander off!"
Multiple phones on her self are blaring for attention.
The Limbless doesn't even look embarassed or the least bit regretful.
“The man needed help!” he has the audacity to insist, “If you want me to help, then let me do it my way!”
She’s tearing at her hair now, “You got involved in a gang-fight! Do you have ANY IDEA-”
A new ringtone blares up to interrupt her and the manager lady screams in frustration. It's a first to see her go up the wall like that.
"I have to take this," she bellows, "You! sit! here! I'm not DONE with you yet!"
She takes a deep breath and brushes through her hair before taking the call.
"Hello, boss," she starts, "I can explain- Yes, we're already working on getting the videos taken down. ….What?"
She falls silent suddenly.
Then turns to look at Rayman with a haunted expression on her face.
He just raises an eyebrow at her and tilts his head with those idiot puppy eyes!
Her phone is noisy in her silence. Rayman can't make the words but from the sound of it…
"Understood," she says and hangs up. Her arm falls limp by her side, Rayman is almost surprised she's not dropping it.
"You've gone viral," she says.
"And what does that mean?" Rayman asks.
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missvelvetsstuff · 1 year
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Where you goin, Star?
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Chapter 6
Warnings: swearing, violence, angst
Notes: sorry this took so long, it's been hectic here. The good news is I finished this one and am halfway thru the next chapter of Guarded Heart so hopefully tomorrow or Wednesday.
FYI, the title and nickname come from Lost Boys. When I was in college I worked at a movie theater with a guy named Jimmy who I became very close to, interestingly enough he called me doll. He was kinda goth before it became a thing in our valley. When Lost Boys came out we watched it so many times and he started calling me Star and quoting David's line when she is with Michael "Where you goin, Star?" Yeah, I'm old. I know. Whatever.
Likes, comments and shares are always appreciated.
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When Bucky's cab pulled up across from the Pierce's house he saw multiple cars in front. He wasn't expecting a crowd and started second guessing himself. If John was there, that would mean at least 2 more armed bodyguards. While he was thinking, he heard a motorcycle pull up and turned to see Nick Fury.
Bucky nodded "Nick"
Nick looked him over "Barnes. I figured you'd be getting yourself into trouble when Rogers told me where you had gone." Nick turned and pulled a helmet from one of his saddlebags, offering it to Bucky.
Bucky shook his head "Nick, I need to-"
Nick shut him down "No, you don't need to nothing. You go in there with Rumlow, Rollins, Barton and whoever else is watching Walker and your girl and you'll only get both of you hurt and you will end up in jail. Then Stark pulls out of your deal and you're just another criminal while Star suffers even more at her husbands hands and you can't do nothin about it."
Bucky sighed and went to pull the helmet on.
Nick continued "You gotta wait for your moment, the opportune time, if you will. Otherwise you'll just make things worse for all involved. I know you haven't spent the last 3 years working and planning your return so carefully to fuck it up now."
Bucky nodded and climbed onto the back of the bike. "I know, I just.....fuck. It's all such a mess and Star has had it worse than I imagined. Why didn't you tell me, Nick?"
Nick scoffed "You think I have access to Congressman John Walker's personal life? Like I could just drop by for tea? If I had known, and I told you. What would you have done? Raced back here for a confrontation before you were ready? Put a price on his head? You know as well as I do that her father would have just found someone worse to marry her off to. She's never been anything but a pawn to him.
You should have taken her with you when you left but you made your call and now you have to see your plan through to the end."
Bucky grunted, thinking to himself about his next steps when Nick asked
"Buy you a drink?"
Bucky sighed, frustrated but stuck for now. " Yeah, sure."
They stopped by the bar where the club went when they needed a change from the clubhouse. Peter was tending bar and Wanda and Pietro were playing darts. The place went silent when the regulars realized who came in with Nick.
Suddenly it became raucous with cries of 'welcome back' and 'hey, Bucky"
Bucky felt a warm feeling of belonging and chatted with the people he knew.
Wanda came up and gave him a hug "It's about time Barnes. Your Star is in bad shape. I've tried to talk to her but she kinda hates all of us since you disappeared and no one would tell her anything."
Bucky hugged her back, fighting back tears "I know, fuck I know. I'm gonna get her back."
A familiar voice that didn't belong in their bar spoke up "Over my dead body"
Bucky turned towards the door to see John Walker, Clint at his side. Bucky gave him credit for bravery but took it back for plain arrogant stupidity.
He smiled widely "That's how this ends."
John laughed "I'm sure you think so but the arrangements I've made will end her life if anything happens to me. I don't know if Brock will actually go through with it but if he doesn't kill her he'll keep her for himself. He's gotten her well trained over the years. She thinks I don't know about her drug problem or unapproved visits to her horses but Brock tells me everything. Your Star is very talented." He grinned wickedly.
"I'm honestly surprised you didn't hurt Brock when you had the chance. I mean considering what he did." John paused like he was thinking "Oh. Right. You weren't here so don't know what he did."
He chuckled "Did you know she was pregnant when you left? She cried so prettyly to her daddy about how she loved you and wanted to have your baby."
Bucky's eyes grew huge before John tossed out his zinger "Brock took care of that, at her father's orders."
Bucky doubled over and exhaled painfully, like he had been hit.
John laughed at his distress "I think Brock might have gotten carried away because she hasn't gotten pregnant yet." He shrugged.
"You sonofabitch." Bucky seethed, jaw clenched, left arm whirring as he opened and closed his fist.
Nick placed a hand on Bucky's shoulder and spoke softly so only Bucky could hear "Now isn't the time or place, Sarge, too many innocents, too many witnesses. I promise we will get to him but you need to be patient."
Bucky nodded curtly "Fine, Colonel but I ain't waiting forever." And knocked back his drink before sitting down in his seat, arms crossed across his chest. His emotions were overwhelming but he plastered a stoic mask over his face and stared coldly at John.
John laughed again but it sounded more nervous than before "Just stay away from my wife Barnes. Final warning" and quickly left.
Nick looked at Bucky grimly. "Let's get you back to your hotel. I hear you've got a big morning planned."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At her fathers house, after John left, Y/N was locked in her old bedroom laying on the bed with an ice pack over the Right side of her face, hoping to stop the swelling. She had a meeting with her father's attorneys in the morning and John would blame and punish her if any blemishes were visible.  Dr Zola had come to the house after John left and put her left wrist in a cast, flesh colored so hopefully no one would notice. He expected a perfect and polished wife at all times no matter what he did to her.
She took a drink from the bottle she grabbed from her fathers bar, not even caring what it was, pulled a shoe box out from under the bed and set it on the bed next to her, pulling the lid off. She had grabbed it from her old house after Bucky left her stable earlier. One at a time she pulled items out and carefully examined each one.
Ticket stubs from Lost Boys, pictures from a school carnival upstate, a playbill from an off, off Broadway play they went to, pictures from the weekend in a B&B upstate. All the little pieces and memories from the happiest time in her life.
She took an oxy and a xanax, washing them down with a long pull from the bottle. She didn't even realize she was crying until a tear fell on a picture of them.
The first few months after Bucky left, she hoped he would come back or contact her to explain and save her somehow. Once she was married to John she gave up. She accepted that this was her life and had no hope of any relief until she turned 30 and had her own money. Then she would disappear to another part of the world, where John Walker and her father didn't have any power.
"Fuck! Why did he come back?" She yelled. Until she realized why. That million Her father gave him must have run out by now. Her inheritance from her grandmother would make her independently wealthy in her own right. Not to mention her fathers money, once the will was settled.
Too much of a coincidence, she scoffed angrily, convinced that he was here to see how much more of her money he could get his hands on. She promised herself he wouldn't get anything from her before she passed out from the alcohol or maybe the drugs or all of the above.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning Bucky woke up with a hangover, he wasn't used to drinking like that anymore. He sat up slowly, going over what he could remember from last night. He definitely remembered John Walker and felt his stomach seize up at the memory of what he said. Hoping it wasn't true, that John just said it to hurt him more but accepting it very well could be.
He was starting to feel like he should do what he could to help Star and step out of the way. How could they be happy again when his actions had brought her so much pain. Did he even deserve to be happy with her again?
As he stepped into a hot shower he decided to take it all one step at a time. Today was for celebrating with Steve and Sam. Once the groundbreaking was done, he would be able to figure out what to do about Star.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Star woke abruptly when cold water hit her face and chest.
"Come on you lazy whore, time to get up."
She looked up through bleary eyes, substances still running through her system.
John was standing over her with a big smile on his face. "We're going to the lawyers but after I have a surprise for you. Official congressional business" he laughed. "Make sure you cover up those bruises and cast. Long sleeves would probably be best. Shame because it's supposed to be warm out today." He grabbed her arm, not caring about the pain from the fracture he caused last night, and pulled her off of the bed onto the floor.
"Ok, ok. I'm up. I'll be ready in 30 minutes." And groaned as she climbed up the bed till she was standing and limped towards the bathroom. Once inside the bathroom with the door closed she took her drugs and finished what was left in her flask, making a note to refill it before she left the house.
After a quick bath and some creative make up she stepped into the bedroom and released a sigh of relief that John wasn't there.
At the attorneys office Star was shocked and angry at what she was hearing.
"Your father contested the terms of your grandmother's will and made it clear that he expected Mr Walker to pursue it if anything happened to him. That money is expected to go to Mr Walker when everything is said and done. In addition, Mrs Walker, you only get your father's inheritance as long as you stay married to Mr Walker and have a child. If you leave him or haven't at least gotten pregnant within the next 2 years the money will revert to Mr Walker."
"What right did my father have to contest the will? It wasn't his mother. I can't believe he is still trying to control me when he's dead." Star fumed.
John smiled "No sweetheart, he knew you needed a strong hand to keep you from doing anything stupid, like run off with some biker."
She glared at him "This isn't over, John." She spat and left the office.
John smiled at the attorney "Women. Think they can take care of themselves. Silly" and left chuckling.
He grabbed her arm when he caught up with her and shoved her into the SUV Clint was driving. "I told you I'm not going to put up with that kind of behavior, sweetheart. I don't want to have to punish you again, we have too much to do. Maybe you'll feel better when you see my surprise." His grin made her stomach drop, it wasn't a good surprise but nothing ever was with him.
After a short drive the SUV pulled up to an empty lot near Nick's shop. The area was crowded with people, news crews and balloons everywhere.
Star looked at him nervously "What is all this, John?"
He gave her a wide grin "Just political kissing babies kinda stuff. Make the people believe we care about them and their lives."
John helped her out when they stopped, gently taking her hand, knowing there were too many people around and he had to be careful.
He kept Star tucked into his side so she couldn't see the people at the center of the excitement. Then she heard a voice welcoming everyone, a voice she knew,
Tony Stark. She tried to look past John but still couldn't get a clear view.
Tony boomed "I'm so pleased to welcome back some hometown heroes who are going to make a positive difference in this community. James Barnes, Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson who will be running their new garage BRW Harley Davidson sales, repair and customizations. Today marks one of many steps that I have watched these boys make to improve themselves and their hometown, since they left the military. I'm proud to be a partner to their business and look forward to a prosperous future with them."
Steve stepped up and made some comments about coming home and making it better. Sam and Bucky tossed a coin and Sam won so he took the fancy honorary shovel and made the fist dig. The audience cheered and the sound of champagne popping filled the air.
Tony stepped back up "I've been notified that we have a special guest today. Congressman John Walker and his lovely wife Y/N. Please welcome them up here."
The audience cheered but Bucky and his friends felt a chill seeing Star trailing behind John like an abused puppy. She didn't look at anyone simply murmuring "thank you" and shaking Tony's hand after John.
Bucky stared at her, willing Star to look at him but she kept her eyes on the ground. She barely looked like the beautiful carefree woman that he had fallen in love with. In the sunlight it was easier to see how much she had changed. Dressed in a long sleeve, high collar dress that wasn't her style at all, with big sunglasses on her pinched face. When she smiled it was forced and it broke his heart even more.
He promised himself he would do everything he could to help her and then back off if that's what she wanted.
Star looked over at Bucky, he was so handsome even with the specks of grey in his stubble and his suit fit him perfectly. She felt an ache that she hadn't felt since her wedding. A longing for the love they once had. She forced herself to stop that train of thought and remind herself that he was only after her money. Not that she actually had any but he didn't know that. Star straightened her shoulders and looked straight in his eye with all the hatred she could muster.
When Bucky saw the look she was giving him he turned away, the guilt was too much. He spoke softly with Sam and Steve, trying to figure out how to get Star alone with Bucky and get her to listen to him.
Steve saw John deep in conversation with Tony and went to do what he could to keep John occupied. Tony picked up on what was going on and insisted on telling one story after another without letting John get a word in.
Sam went up to Rumlow and Rollins to talk about bikes and show them a couple that they had worked on.
Bucky followed Star as she found a quiet spot in the alley behind the building next door, without all the attention on her.
He called to her softly "Star. Please can we talk? Everything isn't as it seems. I really do want to help."
She looked at him warily, exhausted from recent events "Not here, Brock will be looking for me soon. Tonite, at my parents house. Brock always checks on me at 11pm when he locks up. I'll meet you on the corner at 1am."
She sighed "I'll get my ass kicked if I'm caught so it better be more than another lame apology."
She quickly turned away and headed back towards the crowd, hoping no one noticed.
Chapter 7
Bucky sighed, at least she was giving him a chance. He would deal with her husband and body guards once he had set everything straight with her. He headed back towards the crowd, accepting a glass of champagne from Steve but his head was swimming with thoughts of Star.
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mommalosthermind · 1 month
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There’s a special kind of grief, for me, that I can’t really distill enough for other people to understand.
There’s something about the mythical promises of the ‘90s, and the reality of what we actually inherited, that’s just… How do you explain that? How do you explain the raw exhaustion, the dissonance between “You can be anything,” and then having to look at my kids. My kids, who are not told they can be anything. My kids, who are told instead, “find your joy and fight for it.” My kids, who aren’t told, “the world will open up for you,” because it won’t. They’re told, “Be kind, but be fierce.”
We were not well off when I was a kid. We lived all over the place, none of them nice, and I’d go literal days without seeing the supposed adult in the house because she worked three jobs. But I was told, over and over and o v e r: it’ll get better.
Go to college. You’ll make bank. You’ll never have to worry again. Just make it to adulthood, and everything will be perfect. The world will open up before you. You can do anything.
Except I went to college. I did all the right things. We’re still not doing okay—just better than when I was a kid. And honestly, thats mostly because my parental figure was a fucking teenager who didn’t even go to high school, and definitely didn’t realize how badly she was getting raked over the coals, and Still Is Bad With Money. Also still thinks unions are the reason she got fired from the one good job she had, without realizing that a union would have protected her.
We’re doing all the right things.
My partner’s got like five degrees. He works two jobs, because the national guard is the only reason he managed to get those degrees. He’s had a retirement fund going since he was fourteen years old— last year we got a notice saying the fund LOST SEVEN GRAND, because *the company* didn’t make enough for the year. We shouldn’t be worrying about retirement. We’re in out 30s. I don’t know that we’ll get to retire.
You can do anything! You can grow up and be whatever you want! Pick something you love because you’ll do it every single day!
And now I have to look at my kids and go: you have to find that fine line. You have to survive. You have to find something that doesn’t actively make you want to die when you wake up but will still let you fucking eat. You’ll have to fight every day. You’ll have to find your people. You’ll have to root your happiness like a dandelion in the cracks of the sidewalk and it’s going to be the hardest thing you’ll ever do.
We did everything we were told we should do, and the world is worse every time I look up.
I can’t tell my kids ‘you can do anything you want.’
I have to tell them, “don’t let the world kill you.” I have to tell them, “Find your joy and hold onto it no matter how much the world tries to break you for it.”
There’s that quote I can’t remember right, something about I studied war so my child can study art. Well. I studied education so my kids can learn. I studied, and the world regressed, and now I’m fighting so you can sleep better than I do at night.
I don’t know, man.
We talk about it sometimes, my partner and I. How if we’d known, if we’d fucking known, we wouldn’t have even had kids, because they deserve better. They didn’t ask for this. They shouldn’t have to deal with it. But 14-15 years ago, the world seemed like it was maybe going places. Like we might make that progress. Like if we could just hold on for a little while longer, things would hit that magic Better we’d been promised.
Or maybe I just didn’t know better, and I thought I’d already lived through the worst of it.
“Try not to think about it too much,” the so-called anxiety specialist recommends during our once a month meet-ups. “You’ve got happy kids, that’s all that matters. You can’t do anything about the rest of the world.”
And like. She’s right. I can’t. I CAN’T. And that’s the crux of it, I think. I suffered, and they should not fucking have to. I clawed up my way up, and they should not have to. I’m terrified, and they should not fucking know what that’s like. Cramming in some yoga or meditation or focusing on learning new skills isn’t going to un-fuck the world I’m in. But I’m angry about it.
Because I DO have happy kids, and I know that’s a fucking privilege. But holy fuck, I’d like them to have the ability to be happy adults.
I’m tired. And I’m so fucking full of grief I don’t know where to put because it never ends.
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beardedmrbean · 2 years
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How often does the Guardian just make stuff up because I just read part of an article where the author - a self described Marxist media theorist- was called by a bunch of billionaires who are apparently building compounds in the desert to survive the apocalypse - which I can believe, but why they would call on some rando for advice is beyond me.
>How often does the Guardian just make stuff
they don't actually make stuff up, but they do do a good job of trying to make theory and conjecture sound like fact.
If they're going to lie they'll call it an opinion to avoid a libel lawsuit.
Shot in the dark here, and would you look at that. Opinion
Look, I get their hesitancy. Pay taxes? To this government? The same government that decided to nation-destroy and nation-build and nation-destroy Afghanistan for almost 20 years instead of feeding and educating American children? The same government that subsidizes factory farming, despite its deleterious effects on our environment and our health and the wellbeing of animals? The same government who heard the pain and outrage about the misuse of power by police across America and answered, “How about more police, is that what you want, even more police?”
She ever loses her gig at the Guardian she'll be able to move over to HuffPo, Vice, Vox, or Salon easy enough.
What would make society better? Is it skyscrapers in the desert? Or would it actually benefit the world more if billionaires had less influence over the way society operates?
Telosa’s name, as has been mentioned often in its promotional materials, comes from Aristotle’s use of the word “telos” to mean “highest purpose”. Perhaps a better name could have been derived from Hybris, the Greek goddess of insolence and reckless pride. But it’s best not to wait for some divine act to mete out judgment for our little Icarus here. We the people are in a much better position to bring about his fall. Send in the taxman.
Speech writer for aoc would work too, both attempt to sound smarter than they actually are.
Bet she felt cool and academic quoting Aristotle, old white men aren't so bad after all I guess. (yes Greek I know, but these people are idiots)
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But it also does seem like this plan is also in the works.
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Disney one is irrelevant to the matter at hand, I just wanted to have that one on the bottom included in the screenshot.
The blurb there not like i don't already know the commies don't consider the hyper wealthy but that whole thing with the collar shows a new level of lack of self awareness.
Section in Max Brooks's book "World War Z" that kind of parallels this
Looking it up to make sure I get it right, I need to read this one again.
Iran and Pakistan destroy each other in a brief nuclear exchange over a refugee crisis. When the US military stages a high-profile battle in Yonkers, New York, their conventional warfare tactics prove insufficient against the overwhelming horde of zombies, and the military is routed on live television. The catastrophe causes President George W. Bush to suffer a nervous breakdown, resulting in Vice President Colin Powell and his cabinet invoking Section 4 of the 25th Amendment and forcibly removing him from office, with Powell succeeding him to become the 44th President of the United States and nominating Howard Dean as Vice President.
Not finding what I was looking for so I'll go from memory.
Some rap or hip hop mogul, we'll say Dre or Jay-Z has a compound of some sort in upstate NY all walled in and secure, got their guards and everything and basically they're safe with plenty of resources inside and then some.
But these types of people (celebrities) being what they are (egotistical) there's also a livestream of all the people in the compound having a good time with cookouts and Champaign and all the hoes you could ever want.
Let's just say that when the zombie horde happens, it's not only the zombies you need to worry about, got a big ass compound full of food, booze, and hoes and you're bragging about it on the airwaves eventually the folks that are scared and hungry are going to come knocking.
And there's gonna be more than you can stop with guns.
I really need to read that one again, audiobook was good too. Alan Alda had a section he read.
_____________________
This was probably way more involved than you wanted, so sorry about that, adhd has been causing me to just do this a lot more lately than it used to.
Hope it was interesting to read at least.
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leonbloder · 3 months
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The Awful Grace of God
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As we begin a new year, one of the many things I need to take a hard look at is whether or not I've learned anything from the past one. 
I try not to live in the rearview mirror, but an old and wise adage states, "Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it."
I'm not for repeating past mistakes; I'm guessing no one reading this is either. 
Each of us has the opportunity at the beginning of a new year to reflect on what we have learned from our mistakes, the decisions we've regretted, and the things we wish we could have done differently. 
But how many of us take the time and energy to do that?  It's far too easy to just continue on without a great deal of self-reflection, especially if what we need to learn requires some measure of change on our part. 
Some time ago, I read a quote attributed to the Greek tragedian and poet Aeschylus that troubled me and caused me to think more deeply about what it means to learn from the past: 
He who learns must suffer.  And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget,  Falls drop by drop upon the heart.  And in our own despair, against our own will,  Comes wisdom to us, by the awful grace of God. 
If this quote troubles you, too, I understand entirely.  It doesn't seem all that inspiring at first glance, but there's more to this than meets the eye. 
First, this quote deals with the difficulty that comes with personal growth and how our openness to admit we haven't got everything figured out can be painful at times.  It takes humility to own our missteps; with that humility, we may also find ourselves feeling regret. 
Still, we often need help with what we need to do in order to gain wisdom from what we've experienced.  The easier path is the one of self-pity, self-loathing, and even despair. 
What the poet offers up is a vision of how when we are most vulnerable (sleep is a metaphor here) and let down our guard, the work of grace continues to bring wisdom if we are willing to let it. 
Which makes that last line so important and also a bit confusing.  Like me, I'm sure most of you read the words "awful grace of God" and responded with "What!?" 
Here's the thing: for centuries, the word "awful" did not have an entirely negative connotation.  The etymology of the word reveals that it used to mean "awe-inspiring, worthy of respect or fear." 
With this in mind, the poem's last line has a new meaning.  
The poet essentially says that one day, we may wake up and realize that the grace of God has fallen upon us, over and again, despite all of our efforts to hold it at bay, which we often do because we think we're not worthy of it. 
This grace enables us to move past the struggle of learning and into a new way of living that allows us to leave the past in the past.  
And with this grace comes the kind of wisdom that enables us to see ourselves more clearly as God sees us not as broken, despairing people with a litany of mistakes to wear us down but as loved, cherished, and restored. 
So, allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to learning from the ways that you feel you fell short of where you wanted to be.  Receive God's grace and forgiveness, which never runs out.  
Learn to forgive yourself and move forward in joy. 
And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always. Amen.  
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velissiamemes · 2 years
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♡  Shrek Sentence Starters ♡
Quotes from the movie Shrek (2001)! Feel free to adjust as needed.
“She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.”
“It'll grind your bones for it's bread.”
“Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again.”
“Five shillings for the possessed toy.”
“Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!”
“Talk, you boneheaded dolt, talk!”
“You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly.”
“Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you.”
“Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.”
“Your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something”
“Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.”
“You got that kind of "I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me" thing. I like that. I respect that.”
“You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget.”
“I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.”
“I like my privacy.”
“You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak.”
“This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning... I'm making waffles”
“What are you doing in my swamp?”
“He huffed and he puffed and he signed an eviction notice.”
“Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out.”
“You're a monster.”
“No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons!”
“Do you know the muffin man?”
“She's a loaded pistol who likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain.”
“You're going the right way for a smacked bottom.”
“Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
“Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.”
“Did you do that? You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open and everything.”
“Let's have a dance then, shall me?“
“I'm gonna die.”
“So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?”
“The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.”
“I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings and stuff.”
“This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?”
“You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.”
“You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick?”
“I pray that you take this favour as a token of my gratitude.”
“Slow down, baby, please.”
“I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. Just call me old-fashioned.”
“Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?”
“Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down!”
“Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?”
“Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me.”
“They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.”
“Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask.”
“Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weed rat stew.”
“You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?”
“Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in and tell her how you feel.”
“Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.”
“Only my true love's kiss can break the spell.”
“I mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly?”
“I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?”
“You are mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away.”
“You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings.”
“She said I was ugly, a hideous creature.”
“Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding...”
“He's not your true love.”
“We're but a kiss away from our "happily ever after." Now kiss me!”
“I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and quartered! You'll beg for death to save you!”
“Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?”
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natalie-k-pan · 3 years
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10 Ways the Loki show Disappointed Me
part two
6) The trailer was misleading advertising. Marvel’s done it in the past with little to no backlash:
Iron Man 3 presenting the Mandarin as the ultimate foe for Tony to defeat, only to find out he’s a charlatan in a minor role.
Falcon and Winter Soldier was presented as a light-hearted buddy adventure, only to tackle darker themes about nationalism and racism. (Not saying that those themes were bad, just that the TFAWS’s trailer was not truthful to the story).
In the case of Loki, the trailer presented the plot as Loki making time-traveling shenanigans and being captured for breaking the timeline. They included the D.B Cooper clip, and the scenes of Loki in New York and as king in Asgard. These clips never show up in season 1. The D.B Cooper scene was a off-the-cuff moment, and the highly-anticipated (imo) President Loki was around for five minutes.
The trailer shows the storyline being about Loki breaking the timeline, with Mobius saying in a voiceover, “You picked up the tesseract, breaking reality. I want you to help us fix it.”
Marvel’s publicity team knew what story we would want to see from the character. And that’s not what we got: it was a mix of Loki tagging along with Sylvie to take down the Timekeepers, and detective-esque  scenes of trying to overthrow the TimeKeepers. 
It was never about Loki having an adventure, breaking the timeline, and having to fix it.
There’s a difference between having scenes that don’t make it into the final product, between not revealing enough of the story to spoil plot twists...and deliberately choosing certain scenes and quotes  to present a false version of the story.
I guess Marvel was worried that no one would watch it if they showed us the real product.
7)    Loki’s powers were wildly inconsistent, especially compared to what we’ve seen before.
In the past, we’ve seen Loki do illusions, duplication casting and in Thor 2, some very light telekinesis. After hearing of his mother’s death, he throws several pieces of furniture in into the cell walls with his mind. This is after losing the person who probably mattered most to him at the time, and feeling responsible for her death--it’s a powerful move showing his magical capabilities.
In the show, in Episode 3 we see him pull a Roomba towards himself in order to use it as a shield during a fight--pretty in-line with what we saw in the Dark World.
One episode later, an entire flipping tower is falling towards them, and he reverses it with his mind alone.
It was in the face of death, you say. Of course he was going to pull some cool new magical move.
Sure. In the face of death, I could see him jumping from throwing chairs to something heavier, like maybe a crumbling wall or a fruit stand.
BUT A TOWER?
 WHY?
 HOW??
He’s never done anything on that scale magically. In episode 2, he got tossed around by a (human) Alabama man. Why would he not use that move to bring the roof crumbling down if he was fighting for his life then?
So he’s got massive telepathic power when a building is falling but can’t use it in a fight against regular people.... okay?
Honestly, due to the fact that they’ve weakened him so much, and when Loki said, “I think we’re stronger than we realize”, I’m betting Season 2 will include Loki discovering the extent of his magical powers. 
 I don’t like this idea because again, it contradicts the previous canon. In Thor 1, Hogun literally calls Loki a “master of magic”. He went toe-to-toe with Thor and the Avengers and now can’t beat regular humans. A thousand+ year old being unaware of his own untapped potential doesn’t seem correct (yeah, they did that with Thor in Ragnarok, I know).
This Loki’s power levels jump up and down according to the plot, trying to make us believe that due to his spoiled past, Loki needs to apply himself to learn more about his powers.
 8)  Loki was out of character.
His lying and scheming was way too obvious. I was incredibly confused the first couple of episodes because it would be strange how he would be a pathetic buffoon  one minute and yet The only moment I was sold on his competence as a liar was episode 2 at the renaissance fair where he attempts to fool  the TVA. He was actually competent for once, but he gets caught, and goes into apologizing and sucking up 30 seconds later.   
He gets drunk when they’re on the mission on Lamentis. This didn’t make sense--when he was trying to conquer Earth, he had the opportunity to also goof off and he’s always been shown to take things seriously, with the exception of Ragnarok.                                                 
The “I’m a narcissist” scene. While Loki is the type to crave attention--in Avengers, Tony calls him a diva who wants his name plastered to the skies--it comes from a place of feeling overshadowed, never able to match his brother Thor.  Which we can see has some basis:
In Thor 1, his adopted parents raised him to hate his race,
lied to him about it,
 and when he was hanging over an wormhole, his father finally rejected him.
In Avengers, Thor tells him in  that his slights are “imagined”. 
 Thor 2, his adopted father told him his “birthright was to die”.
While it doesn’t excuse his actions in Thor and Avengers, it’s pretty clear that his family, particularly his father, have let him down.
So to make him experience character development and understand why he does what he does...the writers took him back to Asgard, and had Sif beat him up repeatedly until he admits he does terrible things because he’s a...narcissist.
It was pretty hard to watch that scene, especially because I related to Loki as someone who felt overshadowed and overlooked. He tried too hard to be what his family wanted, to show that he was “the worthy son”.
But here in the fantastic year of 2021, this show decided to throw away all of that emotional nuance away.
 9) The costumes were bad.
The brown variant jacket with its ugly orange block letters.
The guard suit on Lamentis looked like a cross between a purple sweater and a plague doctor mask. honestly makes me shuder to see it
Loki’s green-and-gold costumes are some of the most distinct, instantly recognizable outfits of the MCU. And he almost immediately loses it in the first episode. It ends being given to Sylvie, (like most of Loki’s better characteristics) and he stays in a detective skinny-tie suit instead. The costume is okay, but it lacks the flair and style he’s had previously, and he never gains it back.
10) The season finale really did showcase this show in the best way-- ig hype followed by disappointment.
For five episodes, we rushed towards the ultimate villain, the mastermind behind it all. Episode 6 was like...being handed a pack of bubble wrap, swinging your hand hard, expecting that satisfying pop! only to have it slowly putter out with a sad little sound.
First, Kang looked like he got his costume from Party City. The purple cape isn’t doing him any favors. Then, the man sat there and monologued for forty minutes, making jokes, telling us how he set the plot up, and how the multiverse worked.
 I know Marvel gets flack for there always being an CGI climactic action scene, but…they had 6 episodes leading up to the Big Bad, and for it to end that anticlimactically with a man in a Party City purple cape was a letdown. The finale had no menace, no teeth. In the words of Mobius, it was just…talkie-talkie.
All in all, this show really suffered from ignoring Loki’s past, where he would realistically be emotionally-wise, and a lack of focus on its title character’s development. Settings and costumes being better/unique would be also be nice, especially given its popularity. At the end of the day, I don’t see the character I empathized so strongly with in this show.
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edenmemes · 3 years
Text
the witcher 3: wild hunt starters
including quotes from the dlcs hearts of stone & blood and wine
❝  you were always an unruly child. i adored that about you.  ❞ ❝  mmm. yes. of course. the excuse you resort to when you’d rather not talk about something.  ❞ ❝  how many have you killed? how many more might you still?  ❞ ❝  you know who i am. and why i’m here.  ❞ ❝  you're a madman and always have been. a cruel, cold-blooded killer.  ❞ ❝  a man should frame his wishes carefully. it forestalls disappointment.  ❞ ❝  no argument. you knew what you were signing up for.  ❞ ❝  maybe once, in a different time...i’d have helped.  ❞ ❝  don’t train alone, it only embeds your errors.  ❞ ❝  wanna get drunk off my ass. and it’s gotta be on cheap wine.  ❞ ❝  you’re a heartless bastard.  ❞ ❝  try to trick me anyway, anyhow, you won’t go anywhere, you know that. ‘cause i’ll take your head off right where it meets your neck.  ❞ ❝  sorry. i don’t want to talk about it. not now, at least.  ❞ ❝  we are more like a family.   we support each other and help each other survive tough moments.  ❞ ❝  so how’s it feel to be the village witch?  ❞ ❝  realize, please, that you were made for great things.  ❞ ❝  folks say a curse has fallen on that place, a dark power brought down by the bestiality of the murders it beheld.  ❞ ❝  so, now you’ve threatened me and all...are you in or are you not?  ❞ ❝  i know it must sound foolish, but in the dream - well, it was all too real...  ❞ ❝  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❞ ❝  it’s always been about you. only you.  ❞ ❝  i remember finding your sense of humor both groan-worthy...and somehow endearing.  ❞ ❝  kings die, realms fall, but magic endures.  ❞ ❝  i detest banquets. vacuous conversation, food portions fit for a mouse, drinks that taste like piss...  ❞ ❝  despite what you’ve heard, i don’t lunge at every monster i see, sword in hand.  ❞ ❝  each day’s more dangerous than the last.  ❞ ❝  it’s folks like you that restore my faith in humankind.  ❞ ❝  my power lies in possessing knowledge, not sharing it.  ❞ ❝  the rotten smell brings back childhood memories.  ❞ ❝  awfully noble of you, showing so much concern for the needy.  ❞ ❝  no need to thank me. always glad to save your ass. you’re welcome.  ❞ ❝  i may be inhumanely beautiful, but i don’t have super human senses.  ❞ ❝  anyone can be made to talk, even a corpse. one must simply know how.  ❞ ❝  we’ve done the hardest part. only got the pleasant bits now.  ❞ ❝  there are few causes worth saving. even fewer men.  ❞ ❝  don’t treat me like a child.  ❞ ❝  there’s strange men lurking outside the house. watching me.  ❞ ❝  you must be careful what you wish for lest your wish be granted.    for there are consequences.  ❞ ❝  shall i be free of the suffering? the sadness?  ❞ ❝  i wish to gaze into those eyes, eyes the devil would be proud to have.  ❞ ❝  you were born with a great gift. and only you can decide how to use it.  ❞ ❝  any other words of wisdom? or can we go?  ❞ ❝  what i need is an ally. and something tells me i shall find none better than you.  ❞ ❝  i can see no row can occur here without your participation.  ❞ ❝  i and what concerns me have not been a concern of yours for some time now.  ❞ ❝  if you’d not arrived in time, things might have ended considerably worse.  ❞ ❝  if they can bleed, they can die.  ❞ ❝  a man must display some madness from time to time --- it helps him feel alive.  ❞ ❝  i was deeply troubled. you’ve no idea.  ❞ ❝  done that so many times, but...it felt like our first kiss to me.  ❞ ❝  don’t need to play tough on me.  ❞ ❝  i've lost too many mates already. i won’t risk it, i can't.  ❞ ❝  there’s just not enough of us. it’ll be a hard fight.  ❞ ❝  in lonely woods, screams carry long.  ❞ ❝  things used to be simpler.    monsters were bad, humans good.   now, everything’s all confused.  ❞ ❝  as for your missteps --- i don't rightly see why i shouldn't laugh if they're amusing..  ❞ ❝  i’ve no gold to offer you in reward...but i shall be ever so grateful.  ❞ ❝  if you’re scared, turn back. i’m gonna go on.  ❞ ❝  if anything happens, i’ll defend you.  ❞ ❝  once you say "i love you," a kiss has to taste differently.  ❞ ❝  maybe we should sit? you look a bit dazed...  ❞ ❝  drink it off, sleep it off, whatever it takes...just get yourself together and think things        through.  ❞ ❝  i shall join later, if it’s no trouble. i don’t yet feel strong enough to venture out.  ❞ ❝  awake at last. you writhed like a squirrel caught in a snare.  ❞ ❝  again you plan without even asking what i think!  ❞ ❝  come to see how i’m feelin'? thanks, not bad.  ❞ ❝  i remember that day quite well...there was a light drizzle, yet the cold tore right through you.  ❞ ❝  you gotta keep your eyes peeled wide open. someone’s taken an interest in your work.  ❞ ❝  oof...for a minute, i actually thought we were doomed.  ❞ ❝  you shouldn’t worry yourself --- it tarnishes your beauty.  ❞ ❝  i’d even embrace you...were you not covered in blood.  ❞ ❝  guess i could’ve been someone worse...just a shame i had no choice.  ❞ ❝  facts interest me. not fairytales.  ❞ ❝  hm, odd smell. blend of alcohol, blood and monster stench.  ❞ ❝  i’m old and i am wealthy. i may say what i please.  ❞ ❝  now, be so kind and leave me to my thoughts.  ❞ ❝  in your shoes i’d pack it up and go hide somewhere far away.  ❞ ❝  forgive me, but that's the blatherin' of someone who clearly can't snap out of it after a tragic loss.  ❞ ❝  that all you gotta say? i saved your life.  ❞ ❝  i swear on all that is holy: we shall be together forever.  ❞ ❝  think of me as part of the decor.  ❞ ❝  anyone who’s bold enough to fight is already a hero.  ❞ ❝  if this is a trap of some sort...  ❞ ❝  you can count on me, you know? always.  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how much it means...to have someone you can rely on in this fucking city.  ❞ ❝  i know you. you have no heart.  ❞ ❝  no room for friendship in this business.  ❞ ❝  evil is evil. lesser, greater, middling, makes no difference. the degree is arbitrary, the definitions blurred.  ❞ ❝  hands off, or i'll cut them off.  ❞ ❝  i’ll need to clear my head first. after those deranged dreams, i feel it’s full of cobwebs.  ❞ ❝  on your way? or will you stay longer? it’s far safer with you around...  ❞ ❝  really sad story, but something’s not right. got a feeling you’re not telling me everything.  ❞ ❝  gotta admit, there’s something about you. you’re...different.  ❞ ❝  with each arrow i shoot, i think of my dad. he’d be proud, i think.  ❞ ❝  i merely know when to indulge my pride, and when to swallow it.  ❞ ❝  you were born to greatness.  ❞ ❝  these’re dark, grim times. no room for knights pure of heart or happily-ever-afters.  ❞ ❝  a life without liquor’s like loving without licking.  ❞ ❝  my certainty i walk the right path grows strong as iron, firm as steel.  ❞ ❝  few make me feel awkward, but in your presence, i feel anxiety, discomfort.  ❞ ❝  some men have got good reason to fear their own shadows.  ❞ ❝  some men cannot admit defeat. some keep fighting from beyond the grave.  ❞ ❝  stare into their eyes, feast on their terror. then go in for the kill.  ❞ ❝  forget not that you are a person right and honorable, devoted to doing good.  ❞ ❝  ash shall fertilize the soil. by spring, the valley shall bloom once more.  ❞ ❝  there’s lots of wraiths here. i hear them whispering every night.  ❞ ❝  no one has the courage to face this threat! yet we must kill them, or sooner or later we will all die.  ❞ ❝  you are a step away from losing your head. speak the truth and you might yet keep it.  ❞ ❝  you carry within you the weight of a terrible tragedy. you are a good person, but lost. which is why you come across as grim.  ❞ ❝  if i understand you correctly, you would rather help a monster than kill it?  ❞ ❝  discouraged after a mere eight attempts?  ❞ ❝  easier to pat someone on the back and hope things will work out than it is to face the truth.  ❞ ❝  know that they can’t teach an old dog new tricks?  ❞ ❝  my, you’ve grown beautiful.  ❞ ❝  my swords a promise --- if i reach for it, heads will roll.  ❞ ❝  one condition: no one dies. that clear?  ❞ ❝  patience happens to be my weakness. so dispense with the dramatic pauses and talk.  ❞ ❝  you proved today you can take care of yourself.  ❞ ❝  you under the delusion you’ll complete your tasks, live happily ever after?  ❞ ❝  i will not sit and twiddle my thumbs. i'm sick of waiting, sick of hiding!  ❞ ❝  glad you know who i am. haven’t introduced yourself, though.  ❞ ❝  i’ve seen a great deal --- cruelty, cynicism, greed.  ❞ ❝  you tempt fate, because at heart you are unhappy.  ❞ ❝  we had our chance, but...let it go.  ❞ ❝  come now, you didn’t expect it to be that easy, did you?  ❞ ❝  promise me one thing --- you’ll stop risking your life for others.  ❞ ❝  instead of dwelling on the future, i’d rather live in the moment.  ❞ ❝  i adore love stories. especially the ones that end happily ever after.  ❞ ❝  we are drops of rain that together make a ferocious storm.  ❞ ❝  the path to freedom is paved in blood, not ink.  ❞ ❝  we’ll get our happy ending. one day.  ❞ ❝  i’ll never forget what you did for me...and what we had together.  ❞ ❝  don’t meddle in other people’s lives.  ❞ ❝  i don’t get attached to places. just people.  ❞ ❝  it’s dangerous, there are risks involved. understand that, don’t you?  ❞ ❝  and here i hoped someone would finally take pity on me.  ❞ ❝  seen a lot of dead in my time, but that must’ve been hard.  ❞ ❝  air is strange...like dropping into a deep cellar on a hot day...  ❞ ❝  wouldn’t carry a sword if i didn’t know how to use it.  ❞ ❝  take it you didn't summon me to reminisce about the good old days, so...  ❞ ❝  i was attacked --- had to defend myself.  ❞ ❝  guards have never stopped me, you know that.  ❞ ❝  treating the ill and wounded...it’s my calling.  ❞ ❝  you think it’s enchanted?  ❞ ❝  there are times when a woman should simply not explain her decision.  ❞ ❝  won’t find too many comforts, but try to feel at home.  ❞ ❝  i was looking for you...sometimes i thought you were just a step away. other times, i felt like i was going around in circles.  ❞ ❝  i’ll remember you. always with a smile.  ❞ ❝  i’d rather you not make anymore trouble --- for yourself, or us both.  ❞ ❝  got the stench of corpes on you.  ❞ ❝  you stood to gain --- that is why you saved me.  ❞ ❝  sages invariably have hidden agendas. altruism is simply not part of their constitution.  ❞ ❝  the gods have abandoned us. the mighty of this earth care not for our fate.  ❞ ❝  is that admiration i hear in your voice?  ❞ ❝  i started off heading in the opposite direction, but then turned around.  ❞ ❝  i’m fed up. i won’t have others deciding for me behind my back.  ❞ ❝  where’d you get this idea? what’s gotten into you?  ❞ ❝  i don't expect you to commit now. think it over, what you've heard, what you feel.  ❞ ❝  head torn clear off...takes incredible strength.  ❞ ❝  desperate fathers have been known to do a lot to find their daughters.  ❞ ❝  you cannot kill me. you know this...  ❞ ❝  "i give you my heart”? what kind of spell is that?  ❞ ❝  i’d go anywhere with you.  ❞ ❝  why? because i am a woman? in a frock, rather than plate? i can take care of myself, i assure you.  ❞ ❝  everything we discussed here, hope you’ll keep it to yourself. counting on it, in fact.  ❞ ❝  trusted you once. won’t make that mistake again.  ❞ ❝  shut up. i’ve heard enough of your bullshit. draw your weapon, let’s get this over with.  ❞ ❝  exaggerating for effect, right?  ❞ ❝  well, well...when cornered, you can bite.  ❞ ❝  you cannot win...even if you kill me.  ❞ ❝  you know i’m good at accomplishing the impossible.  ❞ ❝  it’s nothing, really. you’d have done the same for me.  ❞ ❝  you are not ready. you do not control your powers.  ❞ ❝  you’re a tool in their hands, even if you don’t see it.  ❞ ❝  i’d do anything for you, i would. you know that well.  ❞ ❝  this is a land where the fantastic is normal, and the impossible occurs daily...  ❞ ❝  know when a legend becomes a prophecy? when it gain believers.  ❞ ❝  i thought you’d become a stranger to me. that i’d look at you and not feel a thing. but it’s not like that at all. nothing’s changed.  ❞ ❝  to be honest, i just wanted to go on a walk with you.  ❞ ❝  what i really want is to be with you, to...to be together and...  ❞ ❝  this is not the kind of offer one refuses.  ❞ ❝  despair devours you like maggots devour a corpse.  ❞ ❝  before long every soul will kneel before you.  ❞ ❝  i run into dilemmas all the time. situations where it's hard to judge, hard to know what's right, make a decision. this is not one of them. you disgust me. and deserve to die.  ❞ ❝  you know me. i’m rare to praise, but when i do, it’s sincere.  ❞ ❝  i'm not a thug for hire.  ❞ ❝  i like being on adventures, sleeping under the stars, waking up with dew on my face.  ❞ ❝  the dream's within reach now. i’m not about to let it go.  ❞ ❝  unlike you, killing gives me no pleasure.  ❞ ❝  can't speak for the world you inhabit, but in mine, nothing is ever black and white.  ❞ ❝  you cannot possibly imagine how much i detest this place.  ❞ ❝  stones you’ve got. but i didn’t think you’d have the stomach for a massacre.  ❞ ❝  the dead man --- looked like a monster attacked him recently.  ❞ ❝  finish all your business before you die. bid loved ones farewell. write your will. apologize to those you’ve wronged. otherwise, you’ll never truly leave this world.  ❞ ❝  i've had nothing but nightmares lately. pretty horrible.  ❞ ❝  i was wandering through the forest, breathing deep the air, and then i heard a strange sound, unsettling.  ❞ ❝  had a few nice dreams. for example, in one we sat around a fire, drinking good wine, and all around people danced and laughed.  ❞ ❝  they’re all dead! mountains of corpses. yet here i stand alone. all alone.  ❞ ❝  this isn’t a game. men have died.  ❞ ❝  if you wanna listen, listen, if not --- i'd rather you spared me your wit and throw me out now.  ❞ ❝  you fed me, cared for me, had my wounds looked after. we're even now.  ❞ ❝  you’ll return, you shall. our fates are bound.  ❞ ❝  i’ve nothing left. not a fucking thing.  ❞ ❝  i don’t question your abilities. i simply don’t trust you.  ❞ ❝  what foolish things men sometimes do.  ❞ ❝  dare harm me, and against you will rise all the powers of nature.  ❞ ❝  did you destroy the evil powers? have you brought peace to my domain?  ❞ ❝  well, perhaps i shall tell you about it one day. one day, but not today..  ❞ ❝  times like these, you never know what tomorrow will bring.  ❞ ❝  you worry too much. what will be, will be.  ❞ ❝  have you gone completely mad? we must leave here at once!  ❞ ❝  time eats away at memories, distorts them. sometimes we only remember the good... sometimes only the bad.  ❞ ❝  you don’t need magic to strip men of their humanity. i’ve seen plenty of examples.  ❞ ❝  if i’m to choose between one evil and another, i’d rather not choose at all.  ❞ ❝  see what i’ve got on my back? wolves fear it. kings do, too.  ❞ ❝  i missed those awkward compliments of yours.  ❞ ❝  sometimes i think it’s all too lovely to be true…that something’s bound to happen, another war or some other horror.  ❞ ❝  took you a while. did you run into trouble?  ❞ ❝  i just travel a lot. and i don't always happen upon such good and civil company.  ❞ ❝  what can you know about saving the world, silly?  ❞ ❝  done my share of fighting. wouldn't carry a sword if i didn't know to use it.  ❞ ❝  all right, perhaps i wasn’t completely honest.  ❞ ❝  ever thought this day would come? me and you...peace and quiet...bees buzzing, birds chirping.  ❞ ❝  i detect a shadow of impatience in your face.  ❞ ❝  took me a long time to find you. wasn't an easy road to travel.  ❞ ❝  wipe that frown off your face, or i might think you don’t like me anymore.  ❞ ❝  always believed attack was the best defense.  ❞ ❝  once it’s all over, if we survive ... i wish to leave, go far away.   and i’d like you to come with me.  ❞ ❝  naturally, you suspect me of the worst. i don’t deserve that.  ❞ ❝  we can fight another time, in another place, where the walls have no ears.  ❞ ❝  once i was free...i shall be free once more.  ❞ ❝  believe me...a tavern, mulled wine, our boots drying by the fire --- i’d like nothing better.  ❞ ❝  prove it. kiss me.  ❞ ❝  the prophecies do not lie...you cannot survive this struggle.  ❞ ❝  i know you better than you think.  ❞ ❝  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❞ ❝  what’s happened? it’s so quiet, all of a sudden.  ❞ ❝  thank you, for coming with me.  ❞ ❝  i cannot do everything for you. use your head.  ❞ ❝  i'm angry and tired. had to kill a lot of people along the way.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come a long way, and i’d be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❞ ❝  i sense your pain. i see your fear.  ❞ ❝  how’s this for an answer: kiss my ass.  ❞ ❝  how many have you already killed? how many more might you still?  ❞ ❝  i'm quite alive and extraordinarily well. better than i've ever been in this rotten life of mine.  ❞ ❝  i like it when you smile. come here. everything will be all right.  ❞ ❝  ugh. don’t fall in love with me.  ❞ ❝  i don’t like you. in fact, i feel like slapping you.  ❞ ❝  i'm too old to play the blushing bride...unless you ask nicely.  ❞ ❝  that bit of my life --- forgotten it already.  ❞ ❝  the world doesn’t need a hero. it needs a professional.  ❞ ❝  next time you wonder why i’m so bitter...well, there's your answer.  ❞ ❝  nothing wrong with having a drink in good company.  ❞ ❝  i want you behind those rocks. and keep your mouth shut.  ❞ ❝  nice of you to worry...but i've made my decision, and i won't change it.  ❞ ❝  this is my story, not yours. you must let me finish telling it.  ❞ ❝  after all that toil, i believe we deserve a bit of a rest.  ❞ ❝  i was afraid you were dead.  ❞ ❝  we’ve all some stain on our conscience.  ❞ ❝  leaving the castle walls means certain death.  ❞ ❝  right good jest. had us a laugh. now fuck off.  ❞ ❝  i’ve heard about you. you bring trouble, or thus far have, always.  ❞ ❝  ah, you’ve struck a raw nerve.    memories of a time long past to which i’d rather not return now.  ❞ ❝  we meet again. and it seems you need my help. again.  ❞ ❝  got a relative i can talk to? someone - how do i say this - a smidgen less irritating?  ❞ ❝  miss the target, you owe me fifty push-ups. hit it, you owe me twenty.  ❞ ❝  oh. serious talk coming.  ❞ ❝  i feel like one more lie'd be the last bitter drop in a chalice full of sorrow.  ❞ ❝  romantic? thought we came here as friends.  ❞ ❝  you’re hiding something. and that’s one thing i can’t stand.  ❞ ❝  tell me, how do you do it? always manage to pull yourself together, focus, no matter what’s happening?  ❞ ❝  i go wherever i please, whenever i please.  ❞ ❝  uh oh. i know that look.  ❞ ❝  sounds tempting. so tempting i don’t think i can refuse.  ❞ ❝  so, what do you say to a moonlight ride on horseback...and dinner?  ❞ ❝  perhaps...perhaps you’d stay just a bit longer?  ❞ ❝  how are you feeling? sleep well?  ❞ ❝  such a gloomy subject to broach...  simply shouldn’t have.  ❞
❝  such a gloomy subject to broach...i simply shouldn’t have --- not during our romantic dinner.  ❞ ❝  got it. a bit of blackmail --- just your style.  ❞ ❝  it’s the crack of dawn. where do you wanna go?  ❞ ❝  shut up before you wake someone. last thing we need is a crowd.  ❞ ❝  watch what you say. the trees have ears.  ❞ ❝  no bow at hand, no spear. my sword was all i had.  ❞ ❝  never expected you’d take such an interest in my private life.  ❞ ❝  i’m special. always was the rare beauty.  ❞ ❝  damn. been ages since we last saw each other.  ❞ ❝  some charming orchards nearby. in bloom, even, so you almost can't smell the corpses.  ❞ ❝  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❞ ❝  man spends his whole life learning.  ❞ ❝  if only i was as skilled with my words as i am with my blade.  ❞ ❝  i wished to know what was going on in that head of yours. i thought perhaps i could help.  ❞ ❝  i can tell something’s bothering you.  ❞ ❝  dangerous times. each thinks five times before sticking their neck out.   and i can’t blame them.  ❞ ❝  now i care not in the slightest how you think or feel.  ❞ ❝  i no longer know if i still hate you.  ❞ ❝  i see how you look at me, and i see you wither.  ❞ ❝  one last bit of advice --- find a new tavern. everyone here knows you.  ❞ ❝  you won. no point bothering with ‘what ifs’.  ❞ ❝  it’s time i took fate into my own hands. lived life anew...and truly, this time.  ❞ ❝  ahh, 'cause you thought you'd killed me that time. surprise, sur-fucking-prise.  ❞ ❝  who...who’s that? gods, i’m hallucinating.  ❞ ❝  it’s no exaggeration to say i’ve never met a warrior like you in my life. you’re lithe as an eel and strong as a bear.  ❞ ❝  i’ve a heart again, yet all it feels is grief, sadness and defeat. my life is a ruin.  ❞ ❝  sought only to protect myself. in doing so, i put you in harm’s way. forgive me.  ❞ ❝  there’s a charming grove nearby where  kisses  taste  sweeter than anywhere else in the world.  ❞ ❝  you’ve handled tougher situations. you’ll figure this one out.  ❞ ❝  who you are and why you’ve come matter little. for you’ll not leave this place alive.  ❞ ❝  i’m not panicking. just trying to be realistic.  ❞ ❝  hahahahaha...i can’t believe you fell for that!  ❞ ❝  i was actually going to recite an anthem praising your glory, but if you’re not in the mood...  ❞ ❝  lying didn’t always come so easily to you.  ❞ ❝  everyone wants to rule. i can do that better than any monarch.  ❞ ❝  tell me what you want already, and make it quick.  ❞ ❝  what a mess we made of it all...if i’d only known then how it would end...  ❞ ❝  seems a faded dream now, but there were a time where i was happy.  ❞ ❝  why’d you leave me? you claimed you loved me.  ❞ ❝  never liked boats. not one bit.  ❞ ❝  you must be mad. i’ve no intention to make things easier for you.  ❞ ❝  i don’t wish to look at your face any longer than i must.  ❞ ❝  please, no. i can’t stand spells.  ❞ ❝  we agreed not to keep any secrets from one another. we promised.  ❞ ❝  that i like! a man who boldly dares, damn the risks!  ❞ ❝  i thought you bowed before no man.  ❞ ❝  smile a bit wider. ...you were meant to smile, not bare your teeth.  ❞ ❝  is that blood? have you hurt yourself?  ❞ ❝  no reason to trouble the guards. i’ll go willingly.  ❞ ❝  look at me. promise you’ll stay out of it.  ❞ ❝  the minute we’re in trouble, you make me responsible for getting us out.  ❞ ❝  they say they don’t fear the wrath of the gods. and you, do you fear it?  ❞ ❝  i’ll let that pass. i know grief eats at your heart.  ❞ ❝  we all lie sometimes. but lying to yourself is running away, whereas there’s really nowhere to run.  ❞ ❝  don’t need your sympathy, just your help.  ❞ ❝  your loss -- it must hurt, bad. but there wasn't anything we could do.  ❞ ❝  i wish to leave, go far away. and i’d like you to come with me.  ❞ ❝  i trust you have an explanation for this. a very good one.  ❞ ❝  lot of bitterness in you.  ❞ ❝  i assure you, you’re excellent at covering your tracks --- though not terribly subtle. but i’m even better at uncovering them.  ❞ ❝  glad to see you happy...but i don’t think what we did was right.  ❞ ❝  i look at you, and...and feel like i am exactly where i am supposed to be. at long last.  ❞ ❝  i’m no coward. i'll not run this time.  ❞ ❝  yes, i know you’ve trained with swords. but you’re still shit with them.  ❞ ❝  how many innocents have you cut down?  ❞ ❝  problem is, you’re not ordinary. you were born to greatness.  ❞ ❝  not too late to surrender.  ❞ ❝  men turn honest when they feel a blade at their throat.  ❞ ❝  i'm not gonna drink. why dull my senses when i’m in such pleasant company?  ❞ ❝  it’s bound to come in handy, and each time it does, you’ll think of me.  ❞ ❝  lie still or you will bleed to death.  ❞ ❝  your life is yours, exclusively. you choose who you are.  ❞ ❝  for a minute there, was almost sure you’d leave me to die.  ❞ ❝  there is never a second opportunity to make a first impression.  ❞ ❝  it’s all because of that secretiveness of yours.  ❞ ❝  plead the gods spare us, for without their favor we shall most certainly perish.  ❞ ❝  i must say -- seen a lot, but nothing like this, never.  ❞ ❝  you don’t look like you can get home on your own. i’ll walk you.  ❞ ❝  all’s in the past, never to be restored.  ❞ ❝  you know full well i never hold a grudge. i forgive you.  ❞ ❝  the good gods sent you to me.  ❞ ❝  and the guilt, the responsibility of all this, lies with me.  ❞ ❝  you’ve only been here five minutes, and you’ve already managed to offend me twice.  ❞ ❝  you will certainly fetch me a higher bounty alive.  ❞ ❝  what's wrong with my beard? always thought it added to my dignity.  ❞ ❝  if i’m to die today, i wish to look smashing for the occasion.  ❞ ❝  i was stupid. stupidity costs a lot.  ❞ ❝  even your humblest requests seem like threats.  ❞ ❝  your motives do not interest me. only results.  ❞ ❝  and you laughed, oh, how sweetly, how brightly you laughed!  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how it is. to see someone you love die. because of you, for you.  ❞ ❝  to have a scapegoat --- that’s the key.  ❞ ❝  no need to fear me.  ❞ ❝  sorry, but -- your life story? just not interested.  ❞ ❝  with you...it was love at first sight.  ❞ ❝  gotta understand. you don’t betray people like me.  ❞ ❝  i struggled long to find a place where i’d feel safe, needed. until i finally arrived here.  ❞ ❝  just don’t faint on me.  ❞ ❝  could never be there for you everyday. but i’m happy to see you always. and today, i’m all yours.  ❞ ❝  what others think...your image...that’s all you care about.  ❞ ❝  in these foul times one must be wary, even of their friends.  ❞ ❝  come on, don’t get angry - it’s not good for you..  ❞ ❝  so, apart from the sword play, you know potions and all that?  ❞ ❝  i actually envy your sense of wonder --- common in children, and morons.  ❞ ❝  a lot of misfortune for a small village.  ❞ ❝  who are you? do you seek to hurt me as well?  ❞ ❝  the hand that feeds can also strike its wayward wards.  ❞ ❝  shh. eat now. we’ll speak once you’ve rested.  ❞ ❝  brother has turned against brother, the land is soaked in blood. evil reigns stronger than ever before.  ❞ ❝  good looking and clever. where’ve you been hiding?  ❞ ❝  doesn’t bother you, having monsters for neighbours?  ❞ ❝  stay here --- no matter what happens.  ❞ ❝  i never told you this, but i’ve always felt it: i love you.  ❞ ❝  listen to me this once -- don't take matters into your own hands.  ❞ ❝  love these moments. the air before a battle -- nothing smells as sweet.  ❞ ❝  they tried to get in through the main gate. i’m afraid they could succeed next time.  ❞ ❝  too many claim you’re evil.  ❞ ❝  why are you so eager to help strangers? sit your ass down or there’ll be misfortune.  ❞ ❝  you'd never have managed without me, would you? come, now, admit it.  ❞ ❝  for those who remain, death should never take precedence over life.  ❞ ❝  thanks for coming. thanks for risking your life for me.  ❞ ❝  don’t force me to speak of it. no more, please.  ❞ ❝  when doubt plagues your mind, follow your instincts. should they steer you wrong and land you in muck, you'll land at peace with yourself. and that's most important.  ❞ ❝   just know that i know you're here. one misstep, one error...you'll make a mistake, it's inevitable...i'll be the first to learn it.  ❞ ❝  i do not know you. i’ve done you no harm.  ❞ ❝  try not to panic...just doesn’t suit you.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come a long way, and i’ll be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❞ ❝  had i known what would happen here, i'd never have come.  ❞ ❝  i can say i’ve seen it all now.  ❞ ❝  these scars have long yearned for your tender caress.  ❞ ❝  i don’t fall victim to curses. i cast them.  ❞ ❝  come outside. we can hold hands and stare at the sky.  ❞ ❝  we’ll work well together --- i can see that already.  ❞ ❝  from the first moment i set eyes upon you that fateful evening, my heart has only beaten for you.  ❞ ❝  i trust you as much as you trust me --- not at all.  ❞ ❝  you’ve gone all red in the face just for talking about it.  ❞ ❝  wake up. it’s just a dream. wake up!  ❞ ❝  i still don’t believe everything that happened.  ❞ ❝  i never miss twice.  ❞ ❝  bit too old to believe in bedtime stories, aren’t you?  ❞ ❝  you humans have...unusual tastes.  ❞ ❝  didn’t think it worthwhile to tell me, warn me of your plans?  ❞ ❝  i think you will not attack one unarmed.  ❞ ❝  the deeper i get into this, the more i gotta wonder...why’re you even helping me?  ❞ ❝  to live in peace, we first must kill.  ❞ ❝  at times fate muddles our path, and life turns toilsome, hard to bear.  ❞ ❝  i fight for whoever’s paying the best. or whoever’s easier to rob.  ❞ ❝  do not let my beauty distract your aim.  ❞ ❝  i’ve seen what is to come, i know destruction approaches.  ❞ ❝  the war awoke an ancient power. an evil one that feeds on bloodshed.  ❞ ❝  guess you’re no stranger to fury, either.  ❞ ❝  think i’m gonna fall for that? no chance, you’re wrong.  ❞ ❝  gotta admit --- you do pretty well with a sword.  ❞ ❝  you dare tell me to calm down?! you?!  ❞ ❝  let's say i go about my business, and when there's coin to be earned, i don't readily turn it down.  ❞ ❝  i wish to know the truth...be it sweet, be it painful, i wish to know.  ❞ ❝  men, the polite ones at least, would call me a monster.  ❞ ❝  even i grow ill at the sight of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m going on a walk. or is that not allowed either? because i could break my leg?  ❞ ❝  plan’s crazier than it is sane...but there’s an irrestistible charm to it.  ❞ ❝  unbelievable! you said something romantic! you!  ❞ ❝  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❞ ❝  if anything should happen to you...  ❞ ❝  there’s not been a dark cloud yet that didn’t have a silver lining.  ❞ ❝  those are some fresh lookin’ scars you’ve got there.  ❞ ❝  no. no more about the battle. just hold me. and say something nice.  ❞ ❝  stay. this is the only home we’ve ever had.  ❞ ❝  you’re so charming when you try to be funny.  ❞ ❝  not proud of it...yet i considered all the options and found none better.  ❞ ❝  i look far different from when you last saw me.  ❞ ❝  i admire your optimism. wish i shared it.  ❞ ❝  and...try not to draw any attention to yourself.  ❞ ❝  nightmares haunt our nights and days. folk sleepwalk from their homes, never to return.  ❞ ❝  forgive me. it couldn’t be avoided. i truly am sorry.  ❞ ❝  well i’ve departed, escaped, been forced to flee so many times…yet i always returned. you ought to be used to it by now.  ❞ ❝  the human mind is as wild and unexplored a place as any land far beyond the sea.  ❞ ❝  you think you’ve won. you are wrong. i can’t die.  ❞ ❝  you’re something more. something more.  ❞ ❝  barely nicked me, i’ll be fine.  ❞ ❝  it’s just that i felt...stifled, in your shadow. i’d have suffocated had i stayed.  ❞ ❝  come, don’t just stand there. i want a hug.  ❞ ❝  it’s lovely here! i could stay forever.  ❞ ❝  do what you will, but leave me out of this.  ❞ ❝  we should end this discussion -- before i say something i'll regret.  ❞ ❝  you all right? you’re as pale as death.  ❞ ❝  let’s get back to the hut. i’ll protect you along the way.  ❞ ❝  not to keen on talking about it, are you?  ❞ ❝  it’s better to die than to live in the knowledge that you’ve done something that needs forgiveness.  ❞ ❝  i was afraid you were dead.  ❞ ❝  at times one must use reason, rather than blades.  ❞ ❝  need some peace. gotta prepare.  ❞ ❝  i suspected it might not be the best idea, but i was desperate, had no choice.  ❞ ❝  so tell me how it happened. step by step.  ❞ ❝  it was a bit of a lark, a jest. i meant to bring it all back, i swear.  ❞ ❝  if i wanted to kill you, you'd be long dead by now.  ❞ ❝  that is precisely one of the reasons why i abhor your world.    your senseless brutality.  ❞ ❝  i won’t let them take you, you know that?  ❞ ❝  magic...childish hocus-pocus. it’s just not interesting. what i find fascinating are true tales of true human lives.  ❞ ❝  save your praise for others. i couldn’t give a shit.  ❞ ❝  well, well, i am impressed. doubted you still had it in you, frankly.  ❞ ❝  i like you. don’t make me hurt you.  ❞ ❝  you know very little can hurt you being immortal, so you take wild risks, chase extreme sensations. there comes a point you’ve done it all, and all seems boring and monotonous.  ❞ ❝  with you i finally feel...harmony. a calm. feel like things are the way they're supposed to be.  ❞ ❝  i'm afraid the dishwater’s as good as it gets in this establishment.  ❞ ❝  sorry to take so long, but i had to deal with the guards.  ❞ ❝  i’d never miss a chance to spend a pleasant evening with you.  ❞ ❝  you know too much. yet one more reason why you must die.  ❞ ❝  or perhaps you seek to trick me.  ❞ ❝  if you acknowledge any gods...start praying, now.  ❞ ❝  it’s very simple. you either deceived me...or not.  ❞ ❝  i am known neither for my sense of humor nor for my patience.  ❞ ❝  naturally, it would be easier with your help, but...you irritate me.  ❞ ❝  love questions like that. am i holding up? what, my dick?  ❞ ❝  we never hunt in these woods. not even if it means the whole village starves.  ❞ ❝  we’re only ever the ones to know the truth about ourselves.  ❞ ❝  you’re insolent because you believe i cannot afford to hurt you. and you’re right.  ❞ ❝  i detest graveyards, especially wandering them alone.  ❞ ❝  you know too much. you impede me too often. and i find your arrogance an annoyance.  ❞ ❝  i know it’s wartime, but try not to be a hero, all right?  ❞ ❝  i don’t know that i’ll make for engaging company. in truth, i rarely talk to men.  ❞ ❝  you know...had a dream about you recently.  ❞ ❝  i thought i could at least count on you to treat me seriously.  ❞ ❝  don’t ask questions you know the answers to. it makes you look stupid.  ❞ ❝  you’re nosy. starting to piss me off, you know?  ❞ ❝  what did i do to deserve this? have i given you cause to doubt my intentions?  ❞ ❝  don’t fret about me. i always get by somehow, right?  ❞ ❝  i wanted to go with you --- that was my idea.  ❞ ❝  i shan’t stray a step from your side.  ❞ ❝  if that’s what it takes to save the world, it’s better to let that world die.  ❞ ❝  what’s that supposed to mean? that a threat?  ❞ ❝  i’m offering a great and true adventure, an experience like no other, the fate of only the chosen few.  ❞ ❝  that’s like choosing between pestilence and the plague.  ❞ ❝  what’s it matter? i only ever thought of you.  ❞ ❝  did you know you’ve gained twenty-seven new scars since we’ve last saw each other?  ❞ ❝  i need to know the details if you want me to get my hands dirty.  ❞ ❝  don’t know you. go away.  ❞ ❝  ever vigilant, even in your sleep. quite vampire-like, in fact.  ❞ ❝  gotten used to people treating me like a freak, an outcast.  ❞ ❝  we share a cause, then. just like the old days.  ❞ ❝  ever considered becoming a burglar? skill like that’d come in awful handy.  ❞ ❝  there’s never been a frown that couldn’t be turned upside down.  ❞ ❝  honesty's an attribute of the truly brave --- and thus the privilege of the very few.  ❞ ❝  you do not have a monopoly in altruism, my friend.  ❞ ❝  great love demands great sacrifices.  ❞ ❝  i believe it wise at times to share one’s secrets, unburden oneself to those one can trust.  ❞ ❝  it would be nice from time to time if you could sit back and enjoy life, instead of going around solving everyone’s problems.  ❞ ❝  we shall dance until the break of dawn!  ❞ ❝  a man could lose his head for a lass like you.  ❞ ❝  don’t have to come if you don’t want. wait here.  ❞ ❝  never seen this side of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m to kiss the ground you walk on, is that it? but you just did your duty.  ❞ ❝  the day you give me a smile...that moment, that’s what i’m waiting for.  ❞ ❝  i need a soul intelligent and clever, an individual who fears no dare. someone like you.  ❞ ❝  if i was you i’d catch some shut-eye, not go on flapping my tongue.  ❞ ❝  the plan is simple...which does not mean it will be easy to execute.  ❞ ❝  sometimes you really get on my nerves, you know.  ❞ ❝  you shall not turn on me, use what i say against me? you shall not tell anyone?  ❞ ❝  gave you a chance. should’ve taken it.  ❞ ❝  always better to do a bit more and even gain nothing by it,    than to do too little and face regret.  ❞ ❝  it’s lovely out here. the birds singing, the bees buzzing...blissful, really.  ❞ ❝  what a lovely dress. the color suits you exquisitely.  ❞ ❝  pretty fantastic tale. hard as hell to believe.  ❞ ❝  it’s time you discovered my romantic side.  ❞ ❝  you gotta understand the whole world doesn’t revolve around you.  ❞ ❝  can you not see i am out of my mind with worry?  ❞ ❝  every rose has its thorn, and there are no happy endings.  ❞ ❝  pretty quick to reject help. why is that?  ❞ ❝  don’t need to like each other. just gotta do our jobs.  ❞ ❝  frankly, if i can do something for you, i'll do it, willingly.  ❞ ❝  you were hired you kill me, were you not?  ❞ ❝  what’s it like, going toe to toe with a monster? knowing you’ve only two options --- to kill or be killed?  ❞ ❝  this place --- there’s evil here. death hangs in the air.  ❞ ❝  intellect counts as much as strength.  ❞ ❝  i run back inside, hasp the doors, and then i hear it --- someone whispering my name.  ❞ ❝  you know i like you. unlike the rest of this lot, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders.  ❞ ❝  if you love somebody, set them free.  ❞ ❝  if you hate me so deeply, why don’t you tell me to my face?  ❞ ❝  i’m afraid you’d not realize which way the wind was blowing if you pissed straight into it.  ❞ ❝  that was courageous. i'd never expect it from you.  ❞ ❝  i am not easily impressed, but i must admit you have succeeded, my dear.  ❞ ❝  kill me if you must. i’ve nothing to live for anyway.  ❞ ❝  aren’t you an extraordinary beauty.  ❞ ❝  never suspected you believed such things.  ❞ ❝  wait...you want to go with me? out of the question.  ❞ ❝  used to it. not the first time i’ve been hunted.  ❞ ❝  enough of this hesitation, this fretting, these feelings of guilt!  ❞ ❝  strange working with you. strange, but great.  ❞ ❝  give me a moment. i must don something more appropiate and concealing.  ❞ ❝  killing comes as naturally to me as blowing my nose.  ❞ ❝  ......   another tale of a life compromised and ultimately claimed by greed and ambition.  ❞ ❝  in the future, though, remember this --- i can look after myself  ❞ ❝  you'd really worry about me if i went on alone?  ❞ ❝  you have many merits. you merely hide them from the world very diligently.  ❞ ❝  is it true virtue always trumps villainy?  ❞ ❝  watch my movements. i’m spry as a cat and sly as a fox.  ❞ ❝  ah, if only this could last forever.  ❞ ❝  few i can rely on like i can on you. kinda hoping you think the same of me.  ❞ ❝  you are angry at the whole world. you feel inferior, feel pain, though you mask this with confidence, arrogance, even.  ❞ ❝  there exist worries for which there quite simply is no other medicine.  ❞ ❝  your bones look thin, your breathing’s wheezy. afraid one punch might kill you.  ❞ ❝  to love is to build a house of cards, or play a game of chess, but one word or ill-thought move and you must start it all afresh.  ❞ ❝  i’m doing what i ever wanted to do, being who i wanted to be. i believe that’s one definition of happiness.  ❞ ❝  you’ve not an ounce of refinement in you, have you?  ❞ ❝  pain rules the body, but fear is born in the heart.  ❞ ❝  either i get burned, or i’ll burn all else down. no other options.  ❞ ❝  should you decide your sword is the sole solution, i shall not stand in your way.  ❞ ❝  c’mon, come closer.  ❞ ❝  would you prefer i treated you like the lying manipulater you are?  ❞ ❝  i regret nothing. one lives but once.  ❞ ❝  i just hope this tale has a happy ending. for me, for you. for everyone.  ❞ ❝  just gonna go our seperate ways? no parting words?  ❞ ❝  you still stand to be quite useful to me.  ❞ ❝  i suppose you wanted to frighten me...alas, you didn’t in the least. after all, i’m a monster too, am i not?  ❞ ❝  i trust no one. learned that long ago.  ❞ ❝  it cannot be! you actually have a sense of humor.  ❞ ❝  didn’t ask for a lecture on probability. need a simple answer --- yes or no.  ❞ ❝  another word, and i shall spill even more blood. yours.  ❞ ❝  you feel resentment, i understand, but we shall work through all the unfortunate matters of the past.  ❞ ❝  stop playing dumb. i know everything...your plan.  ❞ ❝  honestly can’t see what all those dames see in you --- you’re a stick in the mud.  ❞ ❝  not showy, lovely location...perfect for romantic getaways.  ❞ ❝  i hope you’re not upset i came like this, without warning...  ❞ ❝  i’m still a long way from mastering anything. but i am trying.  ❞ ❝  now i know how you do it. just annoy your opponents to death.  ❞ ❝  word on the street is there’s a hefty bounty on your head.  ❞ ❝  for a few days now i’ve been having dizzy spells.  ❞ ❝  i’ve always had a way with ostensibly dangerous types.  ❞ ❝  wound doesn’t look good.    patch that up quick if i were you, before it starts festering.  ❞ ❝  always seemed to me you were a very complicated creature, by nature. not one to resort to such simple methods like drinking your worries away.  ❞ ❝  may i be honest? yes, i’m nervous. i really would prefer to just run off.  ❞ ❝  father always said a wise man learns from others’ mistakes, so here i am, learning from his.  ❞ ❝  ever since that horrid night...everything has changed.  ❞ ❝  what’s wrong? afraid? gut feeling queasy?  ❞ ❝  used to bother me, all your secrets...now i know if you have something to tell me, you’ll tell me.  ❞ ❝  i so don’t feel like going anywhere. sit here a while longer?  ❞ ❝  there’s something i’d like to know...how can you be so damned calm?  ❞ ❝  my knees quake like a carnival rattle.  ❞ ❝  honestly didn’t think this’d work. doubted anything would happen.  ❞
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arctic-comet · 3 years
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Osblaineweek2021, Day 2: Prose
I love book quotes. Looking at quotes is one of my favorite ways to to inspire myself to write more fic.
Here’s a small collection of book quotes (and recs!) of where I’ve “found” June and Nick.
This post contains spoilers for the following books/series:
- Lover Mine by JR Ward
- The Wrath and The Dawn duology by Renée Ahdieh
- A Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas
Lover Mine by J.R. Ward
Summary:
John Matthew has come a long way since he was found living among humans, his vampire nature unknown to himself and to those around him. After he was taken in by the Brotherhood, no one could guess what his true history was- or his true identity. Indeed, the fallen Brother Darius has returned, but with a different face and a very different destiny. As a vicious personal vendetta takes John into the heart of the war, he will need to call up on both who he is now and who he once was in order to face off against evil incarnate. Xhex, a symphath assassin, has long steeled herself against the attraction between her and John Matthew. Having already lost one lover to madness, she will not allow the male of worth to fall prey to the darkness of her twisted life. When fate intervenes, however, the two discover that love, like destiny, is inevitable between soul mates.
It's basically a paranormal love story between two warriors. He's really young (although he's actually a reincarnation of a very old vampire warrior, but he doesn't know that), and she's like 300 years older than him. In this book, she's been raped and abused by a guy who also used to bully him. She escapes, but he saves her life. She's hungry for revenge and wants to die after achieving that goal, but of course eventually changes her mind. In the end he actually serves her rapist to her on a silver platter so that she can kill him (sound like anyone we know?). He literally holds the guy down while she kills him.
They're my ultimate favorite ship in this series, and IMO their relationship eventually develops into one of the strongest ones. This series is a bit of a hit-or-miss for most people, because the language and the writing style are pretty ridiculous in all seriousness. If you decide to read this, I recommend starting the series from the beginning because John and Xhex meet for the first time several books before this one, LOL.
Here are some of the quotes that make me think of Nick and June:
“Besides, the story of the two of them was written in the language of collision; they were ever crashing into each other and ricocheting away—only to find themselves pulled back into another impact.” ― J.R. Ward, Lover Mine
“As his ears rang and his heart broke for her, he stayed strong against the gale force she let loose. After all, there was a reason why here and hear were seperated by so little and sounded one like the other. Bearing witness to her, he heard her and was there for her because that was all you could do during a fall apart. But God, it pained him to see how she suffered.” ― J.R. Ward, Lover Mine
“...the only thing that had tethered her to the earth had been him and it was strange, but she felt welded to him on some core level now. He had seen her at her absolute worst, at her weakest and most insane, and he hadn't looked away. He hadn't judged and he hadn't been burned. It was as if in the heat of her meltdown they had melted together. This was more than emotion. It was a matter of soul.” ― J.R. Ward, Lover Mine
The Wrath and the Dawn duology by Renée Ahdieh
Summary:
One Life to One Dawn. In a land ruled by a murderous boy-king, each dawn brings heartache to a new family. Khalid, the eighteen-year-old Caliph of Khorasan, is a monster. Each night he takes a new bride only to have a silk cord wrapped around her throat come morning. When sixteen-year-old Shahrzad's dearest friend falls victim to Khalid, Shahrzad vows vengeance and volunteers to be his next bride. Shahrzad is determined not only to stay alive, but to end the caliph's reign of terror once and for all. Night after night, Shahrzad beguiles Khalid, weaving stories that enchant, ensuring her survival, though she knows each dawn could be her last. But something she never expected begins to happen: Khalid is nothing like what she'd imagined him to be. This monster is a boy with a tormented heart. Incredibly, Shahrzad finds herself falling in love. How is this possible? It's an unforgivable betrayal. Still, Shahrzad has come to understand all is not as it seems in this palace of marble and stone. She resolves to uncover whatever secrets lurk and, despite her love, be ready to take Khalid's life as retribution for the many lives he's stolen. Can their love survive this world of stories and secrets?
This is a young adult fantasy romance, and basically, Khalid is a lot like Nick. He’s made mistakes that he needs to own, but at the same time he’s forced to commit atrocities he doesn’t want to do. He hates himself and doesn’t believe himself to be worthy of love, and yet he falls in love with Shazi. He's viewed as the villain of the story by everyone aside from Shazi and a few other characters until almost the end of the 2nd book.
“I love you, a thousand times over. And I will never apologize for it.”
―Renee Ahdieh, The Wrath and the Dawn
“It’s a fitting punishment for a monster. to want something so much—to hold it in your arms — and know beyond a doubt you will never deserve it.”
― Renee Ahdieh, The Wrath and the Dawn
“When I was a boy, my mother would tell me that one of the best things in life is the knowledge that our story isn't over yet. Our story may have come to a close, but your story is still yet to be told.
Make it a story worthy of you”
― Renee Ahdieh, The Wrath and the Dawn
“In that moment of perfect balance, she understood. This peace? These worries silenced without effort? It was because they were two parts of a whole. He did not belong to her. And she did not belong to him. It was never about belonging to someone. It was about belonging together.”
― Renee Ahdieh, The Rose & the Dagger
“A boy who'd thrived in the shadows.
Now he had to live in the light.
To live . . . fiercely.
To fight for every breath.”
― Renee Ahdieh, The Rose & the Dagger
A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas
Summaries:
Book 1
Feyre's survival rests upon her ability to hunt and kill – the forest where she lives is a cold, bleak place in the long winter months. So when she spots a deer in the forest being pursued by a wolf, she cannot resist fighting it for the flesh. But to do so, she must kill the predator and killing something so precious comes at a price ... Dragged to a magical kingdom for the murder of a faerie, Feyre discovers that her captor, his face obscured by a jewelled mask, is hiding far more than his piercing green eyes would suggest. Feyre's presence at the court is closely guarded, and as she begins to learn why, her feelings for him turn from hostility to passion and the faerie lands become an even more dangerous place. Feyre must fight to break an ancient curse, or she will lose him forever.
Book 2
Feyre survived Amarantha's clutches to return to the Spring Court—but at a steep cost. Though she now has the powers of the High Fae, her heart remains human, and it can't forget the terrible deeds she performed to save Tamlin's people. Nor has Feyre forgotten her bargain with Rhysand, High Lord of the feared Night Court. As Feyre navigates its dark web of politics, passion, and dazzling power, a greater evil looms—and she might be key to stopping it. But only if she can harness her harrowing gifts, heal her fractured soul, and decide how she wishes to shape her future—and the future of a world cleaved in two. With more than a million copies sold of her beloved Throne of Glass series, Sarah J. Maas's masterful storytelling brings this second book in her seductive and action-packed series to new heights.
Fantasy romance with explicit sex scenes, and book 2 is a lot better than book 1. Our main character Feyre falls for a really boring fae guy, but also meets the hottest guy she’s ever known. The first guy of course isn't the real love interest (this is a twist this author loves to do). They all end up as prisoners, and the 2nd guy saves her life when the 1st one is totally useless. He also makes her hate him as he does it because he has to. After getting out, she tries to make her old relationship work, but it doesn’t, and guess who swoops in?
I do see some Nick in Rhysand (in addition to his role in the love triangle). They’re both traumatized and prefer to keep a lot of their feelings to themselves. I also see some of the same selflessness in both of them. Rhysand wants Feyre to choose him because she loves him, but he’s willing to accept that she may not, and doesn’t tell her that they’re pretty much destined to be together (it’s a supernatural thing, and he will suffer a lot if she decides she doesn’t want him).
“Everything I love has always had a tendency to be taken from me.”
―Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses
“It took me a long while to realize that Rhysand, whether he knew it or not, had effectively kept me from shattering completely.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses
“Regardless of his motives or his methods, Rhysand was keeping me alive. And had done so even before I set foot Under the Mountain.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses
“Because," he went on, his eyes locked with mine, "I didn't want you to fight alone. Or die alone."
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses
“He thinks he'll be remembered as the villain in the story. But I forgot to tell him that the villain is usually the person who locks up the maiden and throws away the key. He was the one who let me out.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury
“And I wondered if love was too weak a word for what he felt, what he’d done for me. For what I felt for him.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury
“I was his and he was mine, and we were the beginning and middle and end. We were a song that had been sung from the very first ember of light in the world.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury
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yourdeepestfathoms · 3 years
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for anyone curious, my newest book is about the Salem Witch Trials! it’s at the point of view of Mary Warren and how she went through trials, ultimately ending in her downward spiral into madness as the trials deteriorate her mental health. it’s called Servant of Evil.
here’s the first segment of the first chapter!
— — —
She was gathering crops the first day she caught wind of the hysteria.
It was late January and sunny, the last warm day in what would soon feel like forever. The sickle in her hand was wickedly sharp and gleaming in pale yellow light, and the stalks of the corn she was cutting away were rough and sharp beneath calloused fingers. Already, the skin on her hands was shredded, oozing ruby droplets of blood and staining bright green stems. Her legs ached from crouching in the dirt, muscles locked up and tense. Somewhere beyond the pillars of corn stretched out before her, she could hear her master’s children talking in high-pitched voices, dogs barking, and horses neighing. Even closer than that, however, she could hear heavy footsteps tramping through the field, and she knew the owner of this land would not enjoy such galumphing through his crops. But she also knew that the one who appeared through the stalks wouldn’t care much for the fiery point of John Proctor’s scorn.
“Something weirdish is going on in Salem.”
Without looking up, Mary Warren answered the unexpected visitor, “Something is always going on in Salem.”
That much was true, at least right now. Salem was a town of rich trade and sea salt, characterized by a sparkling harbor that was bested only by Boston’s and a habit of fighting with itself. For years, Salem had been split between two forces: the nobles up in Salem Town and the farmers down in Salem Village. The two territories were never not fighting with each other; they were always mad about something the other did, and it was easy to lose track of who hated who and for what reason. Salem Village didn’t like the control Salem Town held over it, while Salem Town was annoyed by Salem Village thinking it was its own settlement, but they all detested the British church, which was mutual. Salem Town often pulled men from Salem Village to be a part of the national guard, which made Salem Village nervous because then they would have nobody to protect them, and Indian attacks were a regular fear throughout the civilization. Aside from its harbor, the other thing Salem had to owe to its popularity was its unfortunate position in front of frequent ambushes. And if it didn’t suffer ambushes first-hand, then it suffered ambushes through the survivors of such raids, many of which populated the city and would soon help with the grisly events that turned the community over on its head.
But the only other thing Salem Village and Salem Town could agree on was that the Indians were an issue. Unfortunately, that was where agreements ended and arguments began- Salem Town wanted more men to train, promising protection; Salem Village refusing, saying they knew how Salem Town lied, and if they didn’t, then they only saved them because of their bountiful trade and not because they were their people. It wouldn’t be long until the yelling broke out, testaments from the Bible were quoted, and grown men argued like two children fighting over who was their parents’ favorite kid.
However, Salem as a whole had fallen silent recently. Things were peaceful. It was as though a grace period were opening up before them all--or, perhaps, it was actually ending.
Except for right now, in the Proctor corn field, of course. Because her visitor would only bring silence if she were dead, and she had proved to be too slippery for death’s fingers three times over after surviving several Indian attacks throughout her young life.
“This is different.”
Wiping a sagging green sleeve over her damp brow, Mary looked up and squinted through sweat and sun to look at none other than the Putnam’s maid, Mercy Lewis.
Mercy was a fine example of everything the Puritans didn’t want. Despite her name’s sake, she was stubborn, brash, and spitfire, though she was smart enough to never act in such a way in front of the church. And she was, indeed, smart. She was more clever than a fox, easily outwitting several situations despite the minimal education women had in their lifetime. The only thing she was merciful to was her younger cousin, Ann Putnam Jr. Her parents were better off naming her Big, Loud, and Vulgar.
Mercy was nineteen-years-old, two years older than Mary, and built like a small bear. She was short, compact, and sinewy, her muscles and joints well-honed from rough maid work. Her temper was black and her teeth were sharp. Her curly dark brown hair was tucked up in her blindingly white bonnet, and she was dressed in a nondescript dress of purple. Storm cloud grey eyes bore down on Mary with bright amusement.
The two of them met three years ago in Elizabeth Proctor’s tavern. Mary had been struggling to wipe away a sticky stain on one of the tables; Mercy was looking for fresh meat. They both were in the right place at the right time.
Mary hadn’t heard her come in. It was as though the shadows of the tavern itself had unfolded the sixteen-year-old before her because she was suddenly there, towering over the front of the table, and Mary ended up spilling the bowl of soapy water she was using all over herself upon noticing her.
“My, are you jumpy,” the strange girl had observed, peering over the edge of the table. She didn’t offer Mary her help or even an apology. Mary didn’t ask for one. “Were your parents murdered by savages, too?”
“What?”
“Ooo, no, then. Got it.”
Mary blinked up at her for a moment, then carefully got up out of the sudsy puddle and retrieved a dry rag to clean up the newest mess. The entire time, the strange girl watched her as she dripped droplets and beads of white soap from the bottom of her old lavender dress.
“Can I help you?” Mary asked as she got back down on her hands and knees to clean the floor.
“Oh, no,” the strange girl answered. “I just came to say hello. Introduce myself. You work for the Proctor’s, yeah?”
“Yes,” Mary nodded.
“Interesting, interesting. I work for the Putnam’s. Thomas is my cousin, actually.”
Mary nodded again. She looked back down at the puddle, trying to focus on that. The girl didn’t move.
“Mercy.”
Mary looked back up again. She blinked. The strange girl blinked back. Was this a game?
“Pity.”
The girl stared at her for a moment, then burst into loud laughter that seemed to shake the walls. Mary was startled; she had never heard anyone laugh so hard in her entire life. Especially in a town as strict as Sakem.
“No, that’s my name,” the girl said after calming down. “My name is Mercy. Mercy Lewis.”
“Oh,” Mary’s ears heated up. “Right. Your parents were feeling pretty creative, weren’t they?”
Another bout of laughter. “Yes. Yes, they were.” She squinted at her. “And you are?”
“Mary. Mary Warren.”
“Well, Mary ‘Pity’ Warren, I think we are going to be very good friends.”
And she was right.
Mercy, as menacing as she could be, made life in Salem a lot more bearable, especially when Proctor’s whip frequently began lapping at Mary’s bare back. Together, they formed a cohort of sorts, sneaking away into the woods with other village girls, hiding away from the Lord’s watchful eyes to discuss the most sinful of things.
And today, Mercy wanted to carry on with their long-running traditions.
“Different in what way?” Mary asked.
Mercy rolled her eyes. She kicked a cloud of dust at Mary, and Mary sputtered, nearly falling backwards into the corn.
“Different-different,” Mercy answered. “Something is wrong with Abigail. Betty, too, I hear. We’re gonna go up to the Reverend’s house and see them. They’re ill, you know?”
“No,” Mary shook her head. “Mister Proctor didn’t tell me anything. They’re sick?”
“Yeah. Real sick. Ain’t wakin’ up. The Reverend has been throwin’ a huge fit over them.” Mercy explained, “I’m surprised you never heard him howlin’!” Then, doing a horrible imitation of Reverend Samuel Parris’s voice, she wailed, “Oh Betty, Betty! Wake, my sweet daughter! Wake! Why won’t you wake?!”
She clung to Mary’s arm dramatically. “God! God! Why have you forsaken me?! What have you struck my little girls with?!”
Mary couldn’t help but giggle softly. Still, her mind was made up on the whole ordeal.
“Tell them my pardons and prayers,” she said, grabbing the fallen sickle. “My master said I gotta tend to the crops. Then I can go to town. But I am not spendin’ my free time meddlin’ in someone else’s affairs.”
Mercy groaned loudly and snatched the sickle away from Mary, making her yelp.
“Live a little, will ya? Let’s go see poor Abby and Betty!” Mercy urged. “To Hell with your master right now. You can’t let him lead you around by a leash all the time. Deal with the consequences later. Let’s go!”
Mary stared into the older girl’s eyes and then sighed, giving in. She stood up- Mercy was taller than her, as she always had been. “Lead on, Mercy.”
Mercy brightened.
Together, the two of them snuck out of the Proctor property, careful as to not get caught by one of the many children roaming the plantation.
Technically, the Proctor’s had eighteen children, though four were dead and eleven were brought forth by two different women, both of which had also passed over the seasons. The only living child of John Proctor’s first wife, Martha Giddens, was Benjamin, a tall, lanky man who could never seem to grow a beard, yet had hair down to his shoulders. He was thirty-three and didn’t talk to Mary very often, but when he did, he greatly critiqued her work in the field. That farm was his pride and joy, and it was a challenge to not roll her eyes when he would go on about the importance of their crops and proper plant care.
Elizabeth II was the second oldest at twenty-nine, and helped Elizabeth Proctor run the tavern with her other siblings: Martha IV, twenty-six (the first two Martha’s had died when they were both infants, along with the woman they were named after); Mary II, twenty-five; John II, twenty-four; Mary III, twenty-three; and Thorndike, twenty. Why Proctor decided to have TWO daughters named Mary was beyond Mary herself, but it wasn’t uncommon for things to become confusing when their name was shouted for whatever reason.
Elizabeth Proctor’s children stayed on the farm, helping clean and take care of the livestock: William, eighteen; Sarah fifteen; Samuel, seven; Elisha, five; Abigail, three; and Joseph, one. Mercy often made jokes that Elizabeth had obviously been the one to name the kids, as they were actually creative and not repeating several times over.
But with so many watchmen on the property, Mary was surprised about how easy it was to slip away unseen.
The road was loose and crunched loudly beneath their footfalls. Mercy kept kicking a rock, and Mary watched it bounce across the ground.
“So, what’s wrong with Betty and Abby?” Mary asked.
Mercy smirked widely.
“There be witches about, Mary.”
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Right, Wrong (500 Celebration)
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500 Celebration Masterlist
Pairing: Ubbe/Reader, mentioned Ubbe/Margrethe, implied Ivar/Reader I’m sorry I can’t help myself
Prompt: From the Quotes category: “Angry, and half in love with you, and tremendously sorry, I turned away.”
Word Count: 2818 (I had my reasons to say these were not drabbles, y’know)
Warnings: A horrible amount of angst, lost love, unrequited love, passing mentions of injuries/violence.
A/N: Hi, first Ubbe piece of this celebration! I hope this is okay, I apologize in advance if it isn’t. Also, not the fluffiest or most Ubbe-positive of fics, fair warning.
“I want you there with me.” Ivar tells you, and though you are surprised, you try not giving it away.
“Why?”
“Why should I have any reason, hm?”
“You expect me to stand next to you, much like Astrid does next to Harald, without any explanation as to why?”
His smile is cold, they always are. And cruel, and they usually are that too.
When the day comes and you do stand next to Ivar as he faces Lagertha and his brothers, you cannot help but wonder if it isn’t Ivar the cruel one, but the Gods. Or, at least, not the cruelest, not when you can see the face of a dead man in Ubbe, and hear his voice when Björn speaks.
For all the certainty you hold that the choice you made that day so long ago was the right one, you still fail to hold Ubbe’s gaze for anything more than a few moments.
You approach slowly, moving seamlessly in between the warriors and shieldmaidens that load their belongings onto the ships; and you take those few moments -those last moments- to look at him.
The evidence of the Saxons’ violence is still on him, in the eye so swollen you could think of Odin then, in the bloodied wounds that are still to heal. In the bruised pride that makes his shoulders stiff and his posture straighter.
Hvitserk is the first of the brothers who notices you standing by the pier, a few feet away from the ship. His warm eyes meet yours before travelling down your figure, stalling on your hands.
Your empty hands.
It is something like sadness, and something more, something like hesitance, that clouds Hvitserk’s features before he nods his head once in acceptance and turns back around to let you say goodbye.
Ubbe doesn’t turn around, he continues working on the last preparations for the trip, and you almost don’t want to know if he is unaware of your presence.
If he is, then you remain as insignificant as you have always feared. If he isn’t, then he believes you remain as malleable as you never intended to be.
You grit your teeth, and turn your back as well.
When you walk by Ivar, who sits there watching his brothers leave, his hand reaches to grab at your forearm.
You do not care if it is a command to remain so Ubbe knows you have chosen to stay or a recognition of what you have left behind, you still wrench your hand from his grasp and continue walking.
It doesn’t matter, the world will never stop for the sake of a shieldmaiden’s helpless heart. And, in your own way, you are grateful it doesn’t.
Because your heart may want some foolish things, but you are more than your heart.
And when they announce the war for Kattegat is inevitable, and the time comes when the tension tightens like the old cords in Sigurd’s oud and you have to bear your sword against the man you once loved; you do.
____
He should know better by now than to try and go past the greater forces and speak directly to an enemy. That is what you are, after all. You chose the side he believes is wrong, and when the battle dawns you will be nothing but another shieldmaiden to strike down.
If you ever were anything more than that, even before this.
Still, Ubbe is here, sitting next to the fire with his elbows on his knees, his face grave and serious, his eyes unnaturally blue even against the warm hues of the flames.
And you take a seat at his side, even if only because this might as well be the goodbye you were too angry to give him that first time.
“Why did you do it? You were supposed to come with me,” He starts, and even if you feel the piercing blue of his eyes set on you, you cannot turn to meet his gaze. “What reasons did you have to stay with Ivar?”
You wonder why it is now that he wishes to know your reasons, now that war is inevitable, now that there is no turning back.
A deep breath, and, “The same reasons I had to leave with you.”
Your voice is colder than you intended, and a cruel part of you is more delighted than you intended when Ubbe recoils as if you had struck him.
But the softer, compassionate, meek woman Ubbe once promised to love is dead, if you ever were her in the first place. If she died, she did so piece by piece, when her sister died in Kattegat, when the man she loved married another woman, when the people she knew her whole life died before her in battle. But maybe, maybe you won over her, when you were promised revenge by dangerous blue eyes and were granted it, when a chest made up of a broken heart met one that was hollow to begin with, when with each battle the taste of blood started being sweeter and sweeter.
“You didn’t even ask me if I was going to leave with you, you didn’t even doubt that I would get on that damned boat,” You tell him, turning to meet wide eyes and trying not to grit your teeth at the misplaced betrayal that shines in them. “I heard you telling your brother how you would leave and take me with you.”
“I thought yo-…”
You interrupt him, because you truly have no interest in hearing what he thought when he had another sharing his bed and his heart, when in his grief he decided to forget you were a person too.
“You thought wrong. You thought I would follow, you thought I would do as you wished.”
“I did,” He confesses, voice grave and low. That wasn’t what you were expecting, but when you turn to look at him, Ubbe looks pointedly ahead. “I was wrong, and I regret it.”
“Yet you still come here, expecting me to follow, expecting me to do as you wish.”
“Fighting to defend Kattegat is the right thing to do. Ivar only wants to pull us all apart. The sons of-…”
“Defending Kattegat is no more righteous than attacking it. Do not try to make this about right or wrong.”
“But you are on the wrong. Ivar is on the wrong.”
The shrug you give speaks the words he doesn’t want to hear, I don’t care.
He offers the only answer he can, “I do not want to fight you, I do not want to face you in battle.”
You shrug, “It isn’t your choice to make, though.”
A twitch of anger in his expression, but that is all he gives away. A part of you wants to push until you see anything human, anything that isn’t this façade of a smoke figure of a man long dead, if he ever existed.
You look so much like your father, they always tell him, and even you see Ragnar in the shape of his face, in the blue of his eyes.
A long time ago, you would have argued he was not like Ragnar in any other way, at least not the Ragnar you remember, the Ragnar of empty eyes and bruises on his wife’s face. The Ragnar that left, the Ragnar that returned with smoke to fill his sons’ heads with and nothing else.
Now, you aren’t so sure, if only because of how much he wants you -and them, it is always them. Them who always speak of legacy, them who always remember a dead man as something more than what he was, them who always insist all sons are good for is retracing bigger footprints- to believe that he is like his father, that he is keeping him alive by just existing. And what you have now is talks of dreams he never had, and people left behind -you, overlooked you to chase after her even when you offered him your heart and so much more, and her, left her alone for so long even if she deserved someone that stayed-.
You are so much like your father, you want to tell him, if only to hurt him, but you aren’t so sure it will anymore.
“This isn’t your choice either, you are following Iv-…”
“I am following no one.”
There it is, the slightest quirk of his mouth that speaks of rage and a strange brand of cruelty. It is human, even if it is painful to see. It is him, even if it isn’t like him at all.
“I always knew you had your arrogance, I never thought you’d be blinded by it.”
“If I am blinded, then I will be easy to strike down in battle,” You stand up, spare one last glance, “I guess we will see when the time comes, hm?”
____
Focused on the mead you swirl in your cup absently, you barely notice the man that takes a seat at your side until he speaks,
“You love him, don’t you?” Sigurd asks, his particular kind of gentleness lacing his words, but something more, something like longing, making the question something more.
You lift your gaze to the newlyweds, smiling absently at the sight of their happiness, and you understand the longing in Sigurd’s voice.
“It does not matter what I feel.” You tell him, but in the humorless curve of his mouth you hear the words he does not retort with.
Standing up and signaling your goodbye with a squeeze of the Prince’s shoulder, you walk up to Ubbe and his wife.
He turns to you with a wide smile, and it is in that oblivious happiness that you can find it in you to not feel bitter about the course of Fate, it is in that open blue of his eyes that you do not find any cruelty. You bow your head, a greeting, a congratulation, and turn to his wife.
Margrethe is more guarded, and her smile is more a façade, but you understand that too. She knows, you know she does.
“May the Gods bless you both, and give you many happy years together.”
Before you are to turn around, the girl’s hand reaches for you, and grasps your forearm gently. You meet her eyes, and Margrethe leans closer, smile small but warm as she whispers,
“Thank you.”
Your hand covers hers for a moment, before you let go and continue walking.
You still wonder what she thanked you for. You still wonder if she curses you now, for not having done something to stop that union, if only out of selfishness, to spare her the pain you suffered then and she suffers now.
You still wonder, after so long, if you should have thanked her instead.
Kattegat is enveloped in shadows, distant fires doing nothing to stop the darkness that approaches at a fast pace. The few that are planning on leaving are frantic, loading their belongings onto their carts and their horses.
You find him much like you did that time, the mark of battle still present on him and the strain of loss making his shoulders tight with tension.
Only this time you stand behind him and find it in you to call his name.
Ubbe turns around immediately, eyes searching for you and almost immediately finding you. You have no time to understand the emotion that shines in familiar blue eyes before his big hands are on you, moving you back against the shadows.
He looks around before he focuses on you, trying to gauge whether anyone saw you. You almost want to ask him why he thinks you are important enough for any of these people to recognize you, but he beats you to a question.
“Why are you here?”
“You don’t have to die with them, you don’t have to run.”
“Ivar won’t accept me here, and you know that,” Ubbe retorts, though he still walks closer to you. With the shadows as heavy as they are, with the veil of night as enveloping as it is, you have never seen him stand taller, have never felt smaller. “You heard him, you were there, when he said I am no longer his brother.”
“I-I can-…”
“You can come with me,” He tells you, and though you are thankful for the interruption, because you had no answer to give; you are stunned into silence by the offer, “The Bishop will help us find refuge in Saxon land. Come with me.”
For a moment, a moment too alike that sharp breath of a warrior that feels the cold iron of a sword go through him, you are once again madly in love, willing to risk it all. You are once again foolish, and malleable.
For a moment, you want to say yes.
Yet the sharp breath leaves your lips, and you are once again standing behind the man you love, hearing him speak so surely of how he will take you from the world you know. You are once again standing on the steps of that damned boat.
And your answer never changed, because you never did.
Because he did.
“No.”
It is in the soft breath, in the widened eyes, in the mix between surprise and grief; that you find nothing but more certainty in your answer.
“I will not follow you, Ubbe,” You tell him, softer now. Though, this isn’t a softness born out of gentleness, born out of love. This is the shallow and slow breaths of a dying woman, the one that would have been able to make the right choice. “I can’t.”
“Of course you can, you have no reason to stay in Kattegat.”
“I do,” You promise, but your voice still holds that defeated softness, that unwilling gentleness. “I have my own ambitions, my own dreams.”
“At Ivar’s side?”
The smile you offer is bitter, and maybe a tad cruel, “Of all the ways I imagined I would become Queen of Kattegat, this wasn’t it. But I do not resent the Gods for the path they have woven for me.”
“You have chosen your own path.” He doesn’t hesitate to accuse.
“Maybe so,” You concede. It isn’t worth the fight. “And you have chosen yours.”
Maybe that is the goodbye you should have said that day when he left for Kattegat, or maybe before then.
Maybe it isn’t a goodbye at all, because there is nothing but memories to say goodbye to.
Maybe it is something else, a new beginning to the lives you will lead, a first meeting between the people you have both become long ago, but neither was brave enough to admit seeing in the other.
“I truly loved you,” You tell him, not sure why now of all times you choose to let him know. “Maybe in some way I love you still. But it changes nothing.”
Familiar, the twitch of his mouth when he looks away, the fire in his eyes in the low light, the way he receives your love without uttering a word.
You are the son of Ragnar Lothbrok, just like us; he would tell Ivar, so often it seems that he still talks about it, about how Ubbe insisted on reminding him he was the son of a legend as much as any of them.
We are the sons of Ragnar, is that not enough for any man? He insisted on that last calm before the storm, pretending he hadn’t spent so many nights with you confessing he did not know the kind of man his father was but still knew he had to admire him.
In the name of Ragnar! Björn had bellowed as the battle for Kattegat commenced, and Ubbe echoed the call, as if the man they called a father had been something other than human, something other than a man, as if they had forgotten of his failings in their loss.
You take a step back, feeling like it should be reversed when you walk into the light and leave him enveloped in shadows. Ubbe watches you raptly, his eyes so unnaturally blue as they trace your movements; but says nothing.
You smile your last goodbye, “You are a son of Ragnar, before you are anything else. I hope that is enough, Ubbe.”
He reaches for you when you move to leave, but you both know it is inevitable. His hand is warm, warmer than it has ever been, on your forearm, and his eyes are sad, sadder than they have ever been, as they gaze upon you.
Your hand reaches for the side fo his face, and the kiss you press against his lips is more of a parting gift than it should have ever been.
His hand drops from your arm, and you walk away. And continue walking, all the way back home.
____ ____ ____
Thank you so much for reading, I hope this was okay even if it wasn’t that Ubbe-positive. I would love to hear your thoughts! Stay safe, love ya!
Taglist: @youbloodymadgenius @xbellaxcarolinax @1950schick @ietss @peachyboneless​  @encounterthepast @maggiescarborough @chibisgotovalhalla @fae-sedai @zuxiezendler @crazybunnyladysworld @stupiddarkkside @northumbria @sagyunaro @aprilivar @ritual-unions-gotme
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avid-adoxography · 2 years
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10, 13, 6 and 17 for your ResEvil F/O?
So mhh. I got two of them boss so I uhh... Guess I'm gonna do both aight?
Also anon I'm. Simultaneously kissing you on the mouth and choking you for giving me 1. an occasion to spew bullshit about my RE faves and 2. flustering me to the point of madness with your evil choices >3c
6. When was the exact moment you knew you were in love with them?
Sturm: Look, I'm not gonna lie, I initially went there only for that dumptruck of an ass he's been blessed with. BUt then friend of mine made a joke about me not being able to have a quiet conversation over dinner in a restaurant with old "three-chainsaw-dodge-charger-engine-man" (quote on quote) and it all went downhill from there.
I started thinking about a nice way of communication, how we could get safely and effectively close to each other, how he's actually one of the best listeners you can ever meet in your life, of how he's oh so gentle and eager to feel a loving touch for the first time despite the appearances.... Yeah I think y'all get the picture sjdfhsk <//3c
The Merchant: That little raspy laugh he does the first time you meet him. I begin to pass out... then my head hit the wall, BAM. I've fallen for that guy (platonically, he my bestie. My silly goose even <3c) and to this day I cannot get up asjfajsfk
10. Are they ticklish, if so where are they most ticklish? (You're killing me anon, I am deceased)
Sturm: *tenderly slaps his bicep* This bad boy can fit so much tickles in him it's absolutely mind boggling <3c
Anyway, take notes it might save your life one day; crook of the elbows, sides, back of the knees, feet. There's also this little patch of skin on his right side, just below the armpit and right above where a cable is jointed with his lower ribs. If you manage to touch him there, congratulations! You're about to see a man-made mechanical abomination (affectionate) turn into the living embodiment of a blue screen of death before dissolving in a cacophony of erratic engine sputters jbdhd
Anyway I'm pretty sure I've made a fully detailed diagram but it's buried somewhere in my drafts and I apparently can't find it tonight, fuck. Guess I'll trust my memory and go with the flow I guess, I'll make sure to share my full thought process next time I promise (wdym why do I need a diagram for that, it's for scientific purposes, sHUT YOuR fUcKInG Up!!)
The Merchant: Hips, thighs and armpits. He's gonna curl up in a wheezing pleading ball but don't be fooled: as soon as you drop your guard he's gonna retaliate with no hesitation nor mercy. No I ain't talking from experience, pfft as if! (<- actually telling the truth for once, this corpse has destroyed the man in multiple occasions and they'll do it again jchfhc)
13. What’s one thing that surprised you about them after you got to know each-other?
Sturm: How touch-starved he actually is. How he doesn't know how to ask for affection without betraying the immense sadness and the desperate need for a comforting touch to mend his wounded soul. His hope to trust someone without having to fear the pain that now he associates as a consequence to being vulnerable. This aching burning hunger for love that grows bigger everyday, a suffering so deep it twists guts and cracks bones...
Sorry, I uh. I had a moment™, we were saying?
The Merchant: He's an absolute movie buff, especially when it comes to horror movies! Love the times when he shows up with a new title to watch and analyze it together without sparing witty remarks, sharp observations and ofc questionable jokes uwu
17. What’s their favorite gesture of affection to make you feel loved?
Sturm: He hugs me and won't let go until he feels all of my tension has flushed away for good. He also lets me take care of him and I honestly can't think of anything better than this display of vulnerability and trust to make me believe he truly does love me indeed <3c
The Merchant: He always knows when's the best time to make me take a break from work. I don't know how he does it, but just right before I get this 👌 close to kill someone from stress overdose, he manifests by my side with a cup of freshly made coffee (don't ask him where he gets that fine grind or how he's able to make me drink decaf without me noticing, he won't tell) and forces me to get away from whatever I'm working on until he feels I'm ready to start again. He still won't leave until he's absolutely sure I can take it and even then he'll be cheering for me until it's over uwu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And here we are again lads, gals and non-binary pals! Thank you so much dear anon for the most challenging (not to mention flustering) mental gym of the evening, hope you'll have fun reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it 💕
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panharmonium · 3 years
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@dreamersscape​ please forgive me for tagging you in a post to respond to your comments; tumblr’s reply feature is hard to have an extended/coherent conversation on, and I’m so excited to talk to a kindred Naruto spirit that I knew I was gonna write too much for it all to fit in that space XD
re: hinata - Oh my gosh, YES, my sister and I were so frustrated by how they just completely never addressed that moment again.  I wasn't surprised, because it's been clear from the beginning that this show doesn't really care much about women, so the female characters' storylines getting dropped or never explored in the first place is pretty much what I've always expected, but it's still infuriating.  
Honestly, the only good thing about this show's general disinterest in women is that it means that I don't place any blame on in-story Naruto for never addressing what Hinata did for him, because I know the fact that we don't see him dealing with her confession isn't actually intended to communicate anything about his reaction/non-reaction/level of investment; it's literally just a function of the fact that the writer doesn't care about her story.  It's the same way I feel about how we see so much less one-on-one time between Kakashi and Sakura - her lack of screentime with him isn't something about which a person can credibly argue "Oh, this means Kakashi doesn't care about her enough and he's a bad teacher etc etc," because the imbalance isn’t a deliberate writing decision we're supposed to analyze for characterization.  It's a reflection of the fact that the entire show is super sexist. XD
re: danzo: It’s one thing to have your villain believe himself to the hero of his own story, and like, another to have Danzo basically tout having darkness in your heart being a great thing and encouraging it’s presence/cultivating it - lmao YES!  And honestly, this is why I actually find Danzo LESS infuriating than the Third Hokage.  Like, Danzo is Super Evil and every time he exploits another child I want to watch him die all over again, but at least he like....owns his horribleness?  Whereas Hiruzen is the biggest hypocrite on the planet - when I rewatched the Shonen Jump stuff a while back (my sister and I took a little break prior to Season 11 and rewatched some old stuff), I couldn't stand listening to Hiruzen go on and on about how the entire Leaf Village is his family and it's his role to protect all of them etc etc, because like - he literally covered up the genocide of Sasuke's entire family and let the perpetrator remain in power (and that was before I even knew about all these other crimes he allowed to go unpunished!!!)  Danzo may be the Worst, but at least he's not pretending to be anything other than what he is.  Hiruzen is still acting like he's everybody's sweet old grandpa, and that makes me even more angry than Danzo's straight-up horribleness.  (And I do agree with you, they definitely lean harder into the "Lord Third is amazing" stuff pre-Shippuden, I just still feel confused about what the show is ultimately trying to say about him because we haven't gotten an explicit enough condemnation of his choices yet, and I feel like it's way overdue XD )
re: minato - Hard agree that Minato is an enigma.  I don't feel like I fully understand him either - and not in a bad way, just in the sense that he's hard to read.  The toughest thing for me to parse was always how distant he seemed with his students, which was surprising to me at first, because he'd been built up as sort of this "ideal shinobi" figure for such a long time, but to me, an ideal shinobi teacher looks more like...well, Kakashi, to be honest.  And it took a while for me to reconcile with the fact that Minato and Kakashi really do just relate to their students very differently.  I think Minato has always been a soldier, and I think he sees children as soldiers, too - not in an evil way at all, just in the sense that this is how the shinobi world works, and how it has always worked.  It's not a "wrong" way to perceive shinobi kids, in the context of the story's universe.  And so when things happen to those kids, he absolutely cares, but it's also sort of just a grim fact of life for him.  It's like when Kushina tells him she doesn't want to make Naruto a jinchuriki, and she asks 'why do we have to do that to him, why does he have to suffer that way for the sake of the balance of power between nations,' and Minato's response is “Because our family is Shinobi.”  That was a really telling moment for me in terms of how he sees the world.  It's not something I'm interested in condemning him for, like you said; I don't think the story is ever asking us to do that, it’s just a philosophy that's very different from how Kakashi sees things and what he thinks children's experiences should be like.  
I guess what I ultimately think (from the material we’ve seen so far, at least) is that Minato seems to perceive the loss of his students as something that Kakashi is struggling with, not something he himself is agonizing over.  It’s a very sad thing that happened, of course, but it’s just part of the way their world works/a function of the times they live in.  It's not something Minato is tormenting himself about.  Whereas I think that if Kakashi ever lost a kid, it would have killed him.  And I don't think this fact is in any way supposed to paint Minato as a bad person.  He's not!  All it means is that there is a generational difference between the world Kakashi and Co. are trying to create and the world Minato always knew, and people like Minato are doing the best they can with the framework they have.  
I do like the guy a lot - and I wonder what he might have been like if he had lived to see a permanent peace established.
re: little Yamato - oh boy, those episodes nearly ended me.  I am already very, very, VERY weak for Kakashi and Yamato’s friendship, and seeing Kakashi rescue Yamato from that horrible place (literally and metaphorically) was too much for me to handle.  Kakashi’s silhouette replacing Danzo in Yamato’s memories of being rescued from Orochimaru’s lab - that slew me.  And the way Danzo tells Yamato “you have no past, no future, no name” juxtaposed with Kakashi introducing Yamato as Tenzo because he remembers from three years ago how Yamato once rebelled at being called Kinoe and yelled “MY NAME IS TENZO” - Kakashi just using that chosen name without hesitation, without question, without needing to be told...it all ties back into the recent thematic throughline the show is working with about Identity - the importance of the Tailed Beasts having names, Kabuto’s desperate and misguided search for “who and what he is,” Itachi reclaiming his true self by undoing the reanimation justu and declaring “I am Itachi Uchiha of the Leaf Village,” Obito claiming that his real name doesn’t matter anymore, that he’s Nobody...it’s fantastic how they’re pulling all this together.
re: Kakashi and little Naruto - oh man, the feelings.  I agree with you that Kakashi was in no place to be dealing with this, but certainly under different circumstances I think he would have loved to be a part of baby Naruto’s life.  I actually think the reasoning behind “let’s put Kakashi in a situation where he’s in close contact with someone bringing new life into the world” is sound - I think that would be a really good thing for him!  Just not in the sense of “you’re Kushina’s personal bodyguard, so if anything happens to her and the baby you can blame yourself for it.” XD  Like...Minato could have invited Kakashi in for dinner sometimes, instead of having him constantly stand guard under their window???  If it had been more “we care about you and we want you to be a part of our family”....ugh, that would have been amazing.  Kakashi is already SO good with Naruto (who is NOT by any means an easy kid to manage) - he just has such good instincts about how to talk to that kid and teach him in ways that work WITH Naruto’s particular brand of high motivation/low frustration tolerance, ping-pong emotional extremes, explosive energy levels, zero impulse control, and an inability to process more than one thing at a time.  Handling Naruto effectively would be a challenging project for any teacher, never mind taking care of Naruto and two other kids, but Kakashi is a natural at it.  It would have been awesome to see what Kakashi was like with Naruto when they were even younger...though the Feels might knocked me out.
[also, you mentioned Naruto and Obito - I cannot even tell you the Extremest Agonies I was in when the big reveal happened and I had to hear Naruto blankly go “who is he” - utterly clueless, without the faintest idea that he’s looking at the person who shaped his entire moral philosophy.  The amount of things that these kids don’t know...that fact that Naruto has been quoting this very person all his life and making all his major life decisions based on the lesson Kakashi relayed to them on Day One - Obito’s words - oh boy oh boy I was not capable of handling that even the littlest bit.]
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