Tumgik
#me trying to be cute even though im suicidal af
warrioreowynofrohan · 9 months
Note
oh my god, thank you for that wonderful response. i have been reblogging some of your posts because i agree with it. when i started reading lotr fics, i stumbled upon so many older fics about the supposedly called "kidnap fam" and the more i understand about elros and elronds situation, the more i go from "wait what" to "what the fuck" and go back to the canon material because youre telling me they villainize elwing and earindil but not the ones who caused the second kinslaying because apparently its such a good material for idk to make the feanorians nice? ive read enough fics that are long af which explains the complexity or whatever of why the second kinslaying happened but when it comes to elwing and earindil, its like fuck it they suck af. im not kidding when i said the more i read about feanor and the sons of feanor (book, fics and posts), the more i get exhausted because some of them have such a dickish personalities like they're awful af but apparently they have talents or something to compensate for that. im really sorry for this rant. im probably dipping into waters with sharks in it.
Yeah, 'kidnap fam' is hugely popular - and wow, it must have been wild to come to it straight from LOTR and then later discover Elrond's backstory! Because yeah, the way the Third Kinslaying is presented in fics can be very different from the way it is in the books.
I think, maybe, Elwing and Eärendil are vilified by some Fëanorean fans precisely because the Third Kinslaying is so horrific. That's not to say that the Second Kinslaying is not - we really get more details of specific atrocities committed in the Second Kinslaying (abandoning small children to die of exposure) - but the Second Kinslaying is at least a fight between two groups who both have armies. The Third Kinslaying is a massacre of the remnants of the civilian populations of two previously-destroyed kingdoms. And I think that very horror makes people want someone else to blame for it at least partially - someone else to blame for some element of it - even though the sole cause of it is, truly, the decision of the remaining Fëanoreans to massacre people. (My thoughts on this are partly because I've seen almost this identical thing in another fandom that I'm part of, where we find out midway through the series that one of the main protagonists, earlier in his life when he was a much worse person, massacred an entire village. Parts of the fandom gravitated to casting blame on the leader of the village he massacred for being 'unreasonable', or to claiming the main character wasn't in control of his mind [the same way that people say the Fëanoreans had no choice because of the Oath], because understanding a character you like as being to blame for something so horrible is very raw.)
But back on the topic of 'kidnap fam' - I think it's the contrast that draws people to it, the idea of people who have done terrible things and feel terrible about them being suddenly confronted by innocent and helpless children whom they need to care for. (I say 'they' because 'kidnap fam' is usually written as both Maglor and Maedhros 'parenting'; my own mental image of it is that Maedhros had very little to do with the twins' upbringing.) But I'm feeling rather overexposed to 'cute' takes on it. It's not cute; I'm somewhat in the middle of a fanfic where I try to dig in a little to what Elrond's upbringing must have been like, the scars and complicated trauma that it must have left. And it's strange, because, if people want to write about a cute adoptive/found family, there are other options out there! There's Annael and the other grey-elves who raise Tuor, for example. But again, I think it's the combination of the popularity of the Fëanoreans and the contrasts inherent in the situation. I loathe when people try to cast blame on Elwing for, uh, being driven to suicidal despair by everyone she knows being massacred and her kids being captured by the same people who murdered her brothers. And I've gotten really tired of people trying to give Maglor credit for the good person who Elrond became; in my opinion, Elrond's character may be in part a reaction to his upbringing, but his goodness is more despite Maglor than because of him.
It's fine if you're feeling overexposed to the Fëanoreans - they can be pervasive in the tumblr Silm fandom, but there are still people here who like/focus on other characters!
And if anyone tries to get on your case for feeling tired of the Fëanoreans, block 'em. Life's too short for putting up with it.
23 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Bunny 🐇🐇🐇
144 notes · View notes
Text
My Ships!
Hey guys! So currently it's late at night and I wanna write something to help me sleep. So here I am on my phone quickly writing out all my ships down so you guys can see what a loser I am lol.
Now feel free to discuss your opinions, but dont start any ship wars or bash anyone's ships, alright? Cool! So here we go! Each ship will have a short explanation as to why I ship it. And they are in order from favorite to least, though my least favorite is still one I like.
Ishimondo-This is my biggest comfort ship. I love enemies to lovers so much and these two idiots are just...such a beautiful tragedy.
Saimota-Can someone say bromance? Like please they were flirting so hard it hurts. They are dating your honor.
Saimatsu-Please the way she was able to motivate him? Even after death she helped him improve. They had such chemistry from the very beginning.
SakurAoi-Yeah yeah Sakura has a bf whatever. But they technically werent dating yet cause they were waiting til Kenshiro got well. So...LES GO LESBIANS! Hina was about to commit murder suicide for her boo. Literally lovers.
HaruKaito-So even besides the fact Maki straight up confesses, I disagree with people saying they dont have chemistry. They're adorable and Kaito opens her up to people. This ship is adorable af.
Tokomaru-Similair to Kaito and Maki! Komaru helped Toko be a better person! Like I hated Toko at first, but after UDG, shes a top tier favorite. This ship is too cute.
Soudam-Again I love enemies to lovers. Idgaf if they never show romantic interest in each other shut up. They're beautiful bastards, both of them.
Fuyupeko-...do...do I really need to explain? Just play the second chapter again lol.
Hinanami-Im not a big fan of Hajime. In fact hes my least fave protag. But I think the way they interact and the way he is around Chiaki is too fucking cute.
Sondam-They had the more obvious chemistry in the game, and I love Sonia with Gundham. They fit each perfectly, having similar interests. Plus how sad she was when he died? 😭
Kiiruma-Ok so they're a perfect fit right? Kiibo was one of the only ones to even care when Miu died, and Miu seemed to care about Kiibo. Yeah because she could upgrade him, but I feel theres more there!
Naihiro-Now this is a rare pair. I think the two of them are very cute and soft boys, so they relate to each other. Theyd be a very sweet couple.
Akanidai-Nekomaru literally died to protect Akane, and took two bazookas to the chest for her. They were inseparable. Case closed. They cute.
Daiyakure-Another rarepair. It's hard to ship Hiro with people cause you'll get hit with the "hes 21 and they're underage" argument. But with Daiya Oowada, you can say hey, fuck you! Theres literally no interactions between them. It's almost a crack ship. But I love it more than I should.
Naekure-Another Hiro ship, but this one can be justified by saying they start dating after they escape the game and they know they're both adults. I think Makoto would be a decent balance to Hiro's...everything.
Togakure-Same logic as with Makoto as to when they get together. Byakuya would be able to deal with his idiot enough to calm him down slightly. Plus it would be a funny contrast.
Ishikure-Ok now this is a bit harder to explain. I see it more as they were dating before the mind wipe, and in survivor aus theyd date again. I just think Hiro being the only one to care about him after ch 2 is sweet and that the two would be cute.
Hagekureon-Same reasoning as with Taka;Hiro and Leon were dating before the game and/or they date in survivor aus. I think the two idiots together would be an interesting combo, like with Ishimondo.
Naegami-Finally, back to well known ships!😅 So Byakuya clearly cares for Makoto even if he tries to hide it. He'd be a good partner to Makoto, if not a bit tsundereish.
Kuzusouda-Fuyuhiko was like the only one to try to curb Kazuichi's simping, and they have a nice friendship in the anime(from what I've seen and heard, havent seen all of it😅)so I think Fuyu would be able to help Kaz accept himself.
Asakure-Once again, getting together after game. My friend put it as "the two idiots getting together. Its cute." And hes not wrong lol Despite Hina being slightly smarter and the fact she bullied Hiro a bit in game, I can see them working off each other nicely.
Goshi-Firstly I just love the striking difference in their heights. It's funny as hell to me lmao. But secondly I think Gonta's sincereness and kindness could eventually break through to Ryoma and help him realize he isnt unlovable, and he is worth something.
Twobuki-I just think Ibuki's constant praise and lowkey flirting with Twogami is adorable, especially given his...size. Usually people would make a character like that completely unlovable, so the fact she was seen doting on him so much is adorable.
BandAid-Now I normally dont ship killers and victims. It just doesnt feel right to me. But given Mikan was more or less brainwashed into doing it, i kinda give this ship a pass. Plus i think Ibuki could help her be more confident in herself and stop letting others use her.
Soapies-I dont really like either of these characters, thus why its last on the list, but I think Mahiru is the only one who could "tame" Hiyoko, for lack of a better word. She could help her stop being a bully and actually open up to others. Plus they both care a lot about each other. It's cute. Its sweet.
So that's my list! It might grow, and if it does I'll reblog this post to add onto it! Feel free to give your opinions on it, but remember: no ship wars!
Alright imma go pass out now! Good night guys! Lol
126 notes · View notes
emmadonovan · 3 years
Text
[ EMMA DONOVAN. 27. FEMALE. SHE/HER ] is here! They’ve lived in Silver Lake for [ 2 YEARS ] and are originally from [ PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA ]. They are a [ TATTOO ARTIST AT KING INK ] and in their downtime love [ HIKING IN GRIFFITH PARK ] and [ WATCHING ‘THIS IS SPINAL TAP’ FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME ]. They look a lot like [ LILY JAMES ] and live [ ON REDCLIFF ST ].
Tumblr media
[ trigger warnings: death (suicide), abusive relationship ]
me: i will keep this brief Arrested Development narrator: She did not, in fact, keep it brief.
the important bits
meet the love of my life, Emma no-middle-name Donovan. 
her bio is LONG, but if you wanna read the full thing, you can look HERE. 
born in colorado, grew up in palo alto/silicon valley.
mother is a published poet, father was a prominent engineer for Apple (think the Woz to steve jobs)
only child (yes, has only child syndrome)
moved to los angeles from san francisco, lived there for 5 years.
a certified Bay Area bitch. 
completed freshman year at stanford, but dropped out at the news of her dad’s suicide.
has a 7 y.o. bulldog named tito. he came into her life 4 yrs ago as a rescue and is her soulmate.
a brunette!!! (!)
~work~
picked up drawing while staying at her grandparents’ in colorado following her father’s death.
 it became a lifeline and she never stopped, becoming a tattoo artist’s apprentice when she moved to san fran.
built up a name for herself in san francisco as a prominent tattoo artist with a distinctive style (work tag). 
artistic influences: h. r. giger, zdzislaw beksinski, moebius, max ernst.
mainly does blackwork with a mix of red, although will do colour occasionally. skilled in dotwork and linework.
has an online shop where you can buy her prints/original drawings. also has gallery representation, but hasn’t displayed work in many years.
married to her work, most days you’ll find her at king ink.
despite her hardworking ethic, there are days when her mental health fucks shit up and she has to cancel on her clients. her work is understanding of this though, and so are most of her clients.
highlight of her career: designing the artwork for marilyn manson’s last album and getting to tattoo his niece. 
rescheduled multiple bookings when Cyberpunk 2077 came out just so she could stay home and keep playing it. (oops) 
wildest client story: she once tattooed a guy who flew in from Europe to San Francisco just to get tattooed by her. upon flying back home, he emailed her a marriage proposal complete with honeymoon itinerary.
** the ex **
has an ex called Tomo, a musician and DJ. they were together 5 years and it was no secret, so you are honestly free to have your character refer to that.
it was a textbook toxic relationship, where Tomo slowly pulled a vice grip around Emma and she found herself in very deep, very quickly.
if you can imagine anything horrible or abusive happening, it happened here. he wasn’t outright physical with her, there were no black eyes, but he did exert his power over her in other ways (controlling what she ate, her style of dress, jealous fits if she talked to other guys, etc).
there was one horrible incident too many though, and finally it dawned on emma that she needed to get out.
with the help of an old friend, Ben, she packed most of her shit and her dog and left while Tomo was away on a tour.
she hasn’t heard from him since, but does lowkey live in fear.
has been going to therapy for the past year or so, which has proven invaluable for the ptsd/trauma from the relationship.
despite all this, she still loves him and knows her saving grace is the fact they live on opposing ends of the state.
he just released a song that’s all over the radio. it’s everywhere. someone distract ya gurl from going insane.
random bits n’ headcanons
a taurus-gemini cusp ( a mental breakdown, but make it luxury! )
loves to surf but kinda sucks at it
total metalhead. motorhead’s lemmy was the love of her life and she’s still grieving.
perpetual insomniac. #eyebags4dayz
doesn’t have a fave cuisine, but seafood trumps everything.
attended steve jobs’ funeral when he passed away, as he was a close family friend.
loves horror video games. talk to her about PT or Amnesia.
will beat u in mortal kombat. yes, even as Mokap.
a not-so-secret weeb (has a huge Ryuk tattoo on her chest). 
has a tattoo on her collarbone that says ‘wanderers still’. it’s a tribute to her father and their common love of carl sagan. the full quote reads: ‘Exploration is in our nature. We began as wanderers, and we are wanderers still.’
trying to get out more, so you may find her at  drag nights at carousel.
Connections & Shiz
[0/1] — REDCLIFF ROOMMATE WANTED! I’ll be putting up a set of her house soon. It’s a cute, cozy 2 bedroom house with an aesthetic af kitchen and generally just, the shit. 
Other:
I’m not great with forming pre-existing connections, 9 times out of 10 I prefer on-dash interaction & chemistry because I like to build my charas’ relationships with others as they go along and also rarely ever know what they will be doing/thinking at any given time. But in case you do want something more specific, here’s a few ideas (that I’m happy to elaborate on in ims/messages) :
Palo Alto/San Fran/Bay area friends 
Stanford acquaintances/friends
Tattoo clients past/present/future
Anyone associated with Apple/working there
People associated with the following scenes or industry: Art / Tattooing / Music (metal and/or edm shit) 
Colorado acquaintances (Emma lived here for about a year. It was a bit of a wild/whack phase so they’d know a different kind of Emma.)
Music industry connects/friends or people who knew her ex, Tomo.
6 notes · View notes
thechildoflightning · 5 years
Text
JKSF Jobs
I got asked awhile ago by the lovely @mewithanie if I could write about everyone’s jobs in jksf if it sparked my interest. It did spark my interest, but I couldn’t figure out how to make it into a one-shot or story, so take a tumblr post bullet-style explanation instead!
Read on to find out all about the jobs Patton, Roman, Logan, and Virgil hold in just keep stumbling forward (baby im waiting for you)
tw: suicide (oc), PTSD and trauma (mentioned only), mentions of drugs, alcohol, and school shootings.
Patton
Runs a non-profit
Non-Profit pairs up with schools
Non-Profit is an art therapy center focused on increasing connection within teenagers and allowing them an appropriate outlet for emotional turmoil
Patton’s group generally gets placed on ‘high-risk’ campuses or campuses that have incidents happen at them
‘High-risk’ in this case is defined by higher than normal suicide rates, low attendance rates, high-levels of illegal activity (generally drug and alcohol use), high rate of poor mental health, more than average amounts of cheating, etc
Instances involve things like excessive inappropriate school-wide behavior (ie. all the kids getting drunk and disorderly at a school event) as well as shocking incidents (student death from suicide, overdose, drunk driving, or things such as school shootings)
Some kids come by choice, others are referred through a suspension exchange program
Pretty much, a kid gets suspended but can choose to go to the group’s meetings instead of facing suspension
Kids get referred for suspensions that deal with violence, drug use, alcohol use, excessive absences, and so forth
The idea behind it is that suspended the kid will only negatively impact the kids record and give no reason to change behavior, while the group can help get to the root of the issue and work towards solving/improving that instead
Other kids go by choice bc they’re looking for extra support, a healthy outlet, advice, etc
They have weekly after school meetings (per each district, with one focal school in each one. The program is currently seven districts wide)
They also have lunch drop-ins were you can come make art, chill, get a snack, pet a therapy dog, and other stuff
One of Patton’s first schools was the same school Virgil works at
Patton generally leads the entire non-profit and has delegates to deal with the different districts
He handles the school/district that Virgil is at, though he attempts to go to as many things at the other districts as he can
Does a lot of outside work promoting the program to school and school boards, but is starting to delegate a lot of that work to others so he can focus on the kids instead of the bureaucratic shit
Has had to cut back on individual involvement and delegate more as the work and stress from running an entire non-profit has taken a large toll on his health related to chronic illness
He is Not Happy about this fact, but it’s for his health and he needs it. His spouses help support in any ways that they can.
Roman
Theater Boi
He is a director for a local theater company that is actually not half-bad
Enjoys the heck out of it
Went into college planning to become an actor
And boy does he love acting and the truth is? He was good enough. He could have become an actor. 
But somehow he finds it even more magical running everything behind the acting (and so so much more work, god he never realized how much Work This Was)
So he joins a theater company and he slowly works his way up
At first he comes in as assistant choreographer 
He’s young and they don’t think much of it, but the show genuinely improves by his individual suggestions and work and wait, who the fuck is this kid and how do we hang onto him?
He makes his way up quite quickly, sliding his way into assistant directly and then co-director and then suddenly the director’s leaving and now he’s the director
It happens fast and it’s very very exciting but he’s also honestly a little overwhelming and he’s never been good at managing large tasks without procrastinating bc executive dysfunction (see this post and this one about Roman and ADHD)
And now he is The Director and an entire production is depending on him. Everything. All of it. And it was what he was looking for but it’s a lot.
The first time he’s on his own, it goes okay
It’s by far not the best the company has done, but it’s also not the worst and the company is pretty supportive of his jump to director and the people who have been there longer help him learn to delegate tasks
And so he tries again, and he does better, and he just continues to get better from there
There’s just one hiccup: the scenographer
Basically the scenographer Does Not Like Roman and it creates Conflict
(In my head I sorta imagine the boss character Joan played when they were playing Thomas as Roman as Joan as the boss character in that one part of “Can LYING Be Good?”)
Luckily, Deceit later takes that position, and him and Roman work way better together and pull off some pretty bomb ass productions
Roman has been asked to join other companies before- specifically travelling companies and work on Specific Productions- which is very cool and very exciting but he decides he’d rather do what he’s doing now bc 
a) he enjoys the rhythm of his work. b) larger productions are more stress. c) he doesn’t want to be gone from his spouses. And d) he gets a lot of positivity and meaning out of what he does now and doesn’t see a reason to change that
Every summer he also runs the local chapter of Shakespeare in the park. 
He does act in these as well bc it’s completely volunteer based. Deceit also acts in these with him and these two theater dorks have way to much fun together
They may or may not of kidnapped Trixie for one of the productions (with Virgil’s consent of course)
Logan
Logan works for a company that considers themselves as a “research and problem-solving team for the improvement of marine environments”
Basically, Logan researches issues that negatively impact marine life and helps come up solutions to improve or solve these issues
Most of what he does is cycle through data that other researchers collect and figure out what that data means and how it connects
He looks at a lot of abstract numbers and pulls them together to state exactly what the numbers are reporting 
From there he brings that research to a board that forms a hypothesis and then comes up with potential solutions
These solutions are often considered very progressive and liberal and as such cause a lot of debate
Solutions range from legal changes (laws reducing companies waste, laws to prevent oil spills, protection laws around certain species/habitats, etc) to inventions (boats that clean the ocean, replication of habits to help support species that can’t live outside of a certain ecosystem, etc)
The company Logan works for has had numerous very successful projects and many of these projects were successful bc of Logan’s involvement
Logan’s spouses are very very proud of this fact
Logan is modest af and brushed it off
Logan’s had quite a few articles published in scientific journals and his findings/theories/work have also made it to national news in the past
Logan himself has actually been asked to present some of his stuff on the news multiple times. He refuses each time and someone else goes in his place.
Does this mean that person gets a lot of credit that should be assigned to Logan? Yes. Does that person feel bad? They do and try to give credit to Logan. Does Logan care? No, no he does not. 
Logan could care less about credit, he just cares about marine ecosystems and That’s Literally It
Seriously, people ask him things like “does he understand the ‘political implications’ of his job” or “Are you okay with your team constantly stealing your work” and he’s just like “Fish are cool. Leave me the fuck alone.”
Logan has also done more hands-on experience which has included cool adventures that included scuba diving trips to study coral reef damage, spending days in heavy wetlands, and swimming with sharks
His spouses think that this is the coolest thing and Logan agrees a 1000%
He usually works on research because that’s Where He’s Comfortable, but the occasional planned (it has to be planned) research trip is always exciting
Logan also has so much passion for his job. So much passion. It’s sort of an agreed upon deal in the house that when Logan comes home he will generally Need To Infodump because his job is The Coolest
Because of this, a time period between him getting off work and them eating dinner is designated Logan Infodumping Time
Generally this happens while they cook (because as mentioned a few times, Logan is the best cook)
Even if his spouse aren’t helping w/ dinner, they usually try to stick around and listen because a) Logan is Cute when talking about things he enjoys. b) he talks about interesting stuff. c) even if they don’t find it interesting, Logan’s enthusiasm is infectious and they just Have To Listen
Virgil
Virgil is a high school English teacher
He generally teaches sophomore regular English and junior AP English
Classes can shift slightly depending on the year
Virgil was at first a very distant teacher and didn’t connect with his students
Like his students thought he was a fine teacher bc he wasn’t too strict and didn’t assign a bunch of hw, but no one really liked him either
About his fourth year teaching, a kid at Virgil’s school got suicide baited and ended up taking their own life
It was a Big Deal (and is also how Patton found his way to Virgil’s campus)
After the event, there were lots of discussions and groups at the school, and each teacher talked to their classes
Virgil’s discussion was,, impactful to say the least
He talked to the students frankly about the issue and opened discussion to the topic while making sure to keep it respectful and calling students out on shit while at the same time helping support everyone who was struggling
He ended it with a small speech about self-worth, what it meant, and the struggle to achieve it, especially when everyone around you is pulling you down
It spreads like wildfire throughout the school and suddenly Virgil is a very well-liked teacher because He Gets It, y’know
(to clarify- his student’s do not know about his suicide attempts or personally history regarding his PTSD and experiences, that said, they all know there’s something different about this teacher. Something that makes him understand in a way others don’t)
He also has just this snark that students fall in love with
(One of his class’ learning targets for an entire week was just “We’re going to stick it to The Man. How you ask? Well we’ll find out!”
There was also a situation one year when one of Logan’s articles turned up in a multiple choice quiz and No One, including Virgil knew the answers (Virgil did have the answer key but it Did Not Make Sense)
He had to actually call Logan to figure it out
Turns out, most of them was the quiz maker’s mistake because he was asking questions about “author’s tone” and “author’s purpose” and Logan’s just like,, I didn’t meant to have any tone? I don’t understand tone? My purpose was I like fish? Why are they saying it’s to educate the average person??
(pretty much they analyze Logan’s article from a neurotypical standpoint, which Logan Is Not, so it doesn’t work. Virgil scraps the quiz.)
34 notes · View notes
Note
Im only messing with you 😘 while im here though could i have some fic recs puh-leaaase - 🍍
Ooh honey, you have no IDEA the can of worms you just opened :D (since this list is so long I’m gonna split it up into SFW Complete, NSFW Complete, SFW Ongoing, and NSFW Ongoing)
SFW Complete:
The Invisible Girl [sonamae]: OK SO it’s Hagakure-centric, with background Hagakure x Shouji and KiriBaku. My favorite part about this is that the romance is important, but not the focus. The focus of this oneshot is on the family she creates with Bakugou, Satou, Todoroki, Kirishima, and Tokoyami. Go read it, it’s great. BIG BROTHER BAKUGOU FTW!!!!!
Ground Zero [sonamae]: Speaking of Big Brother Bakugou, this is the next oneshot in the same series as the above one, but from Bakugou’s pov. Again, the romance is important but not a focus, and that’s so fucking refreshing and I love it so mUCH idk what else to tell you. Just go read these two. The rest of the series isn’t complete, but these two specific fics ARE, hence why they’re in the Complete section.
Lighting The Beacon [M3zzaTh3M3z]: This is one of the first bnha fics I’ve ever read, and I’m so glad this was my introduction to the fandom!! It’s a pretty fluffy oneshot, starting off with Kiri asking Baku out and Baku rejecting him because “who ever heard of a gay hero?” Aizawa hears about that (the basics, no details like names or anything), and things…start to change. Mic says he’s married to a man (its Aizawa), All Might comes out as pan, ace Midnight…and at the end, Bakugou asks Kirishima out very publicly. It’s so near and dear to my heart, and it honestly deserves more attention than it gets.
You’re only relevant until you’re older (they’re gonna talk about you over and over) [futurehearts]: Pro-Heroes Red Riot and Ground Zero are happily married and Baku has a reputation to slowly destroy :D (he’s soft, mainly for his husband, and he knows it…and now so does the rest of the world lmaooo).
Love Notes [PurplePersnickety]: Kirishima gets really, REALLY sappy love notes on his desk for a week or two and works to figure out who it is (spoiler alert, it’s Bakugou being a Soft Bitch). When Kiri asks him about it, he confesses everything and they date in secret for six months before telling the whole class (oneshot).
Sonder [Maplefudge]: I bet this bitch thought she wouldn’t get a shout-out well guess what you write good and there’s nothing you can do about it This is the first work of maple’s I ever read, and it’s perf <3 I’m love. It’s a look at the “totally platonic” (how much sarcasm can I add to two words?) Kiribaku from members of the class, over the course of 13 chapters. It’s full of fluff, useless mutual pining, obliviousness, and “platonic bro kisses”. Read it if you need to scream at some useless gays.
Anger Management [Julietwasanidiot]: The entire fandom is gearing up for S4 by writing hurt/comfort KiriBaku post-raid fics, and I am HERE for it. Because of when it’s set though, there’s going to be spoilers so if you’re anime-only you migt want to steer clear of this one. It’s got an ICONIC rice-and-anger line, though.
Stupid Mistakes [lemxnfox]: Kirishima and Bakugou got in a fight! They fight a lot, but this fight they’ve been fighting for six months and the class is #OverIt. They concoct a plan to lock the two of them in a room and force them to make up– and they DO. Side ShinKami and TodoDeku.
No More Fragments [Ischemia]: Canon-compliant…to a degree. Shinsou takes his place as the Superior Purple in Class A, gets himself a boyfriend (Kaminari) and a squad (the Bakusquad)…and loses it. Or does he???? Canon-typical violence, side Kiribaku, mystery plot.
Caught In My Own Web [anxioussaliorsoldier]: SHINSOU IS IN 1-A!!!!! And he fucks up when trying to use his capture weapon lmao. Kaminari finds him and they recreate the iconic Spider-Man kiss…and then Shinsou passes out from the blood rushing to his head. It’s cute guys.
Be Selfish For Me [A_Reflective_Projection]: WARNING– the entire thing is Aizawa asking 1-A to be careful as pro heroes, by taking them to a hero graveyard. It’s painful. It’s sad (especially when Aizawa brings up a classmate of his who died in their first year as a pro). It ends bittersweet, and there’s some good Dadzawa content in there. The most present ship is Erasermic, and that only really makes an appearance in the last chapter.
Closer [MikeWritesThings]: Fluffy Erasermic, canon universe, where Aizawa starts calling in to Mic’s radio show cuz he misses him. It’s sweet af ❤️❤️
Meaningless Holiday [dysonQueer]: It’s a sweet Valentine’s Day fic, canon-compliant, with established Erasermic for the soul. I highly recommend it if you’re having a rough day and you need some feel-good fluff
Come Back Toe Me [Milligramme]: Aged-up, Pro Hero fic where Kiri has a shit day heroing, but he isn’t physically hurt. Not until he breaks his toe on the coffee table, that is. He can’t stop laughing, and Bakugou can’t stop worrying about his dumbass boyfriend.
Kiss Me Through The Screen [Ischemia]: Aged-up fic with ShinKami as the main focus and some side KiriBaku, but…uh, most of the Bakusquad aren’t full-time Heroes. Kami dropped out of UA completely, and Shinsou never went in the first place. So, Kaminari is working at Jirou’s cafe and works as a SFW camboy at night, while Shinsou is a teacher and watches the stream nightly. Later there’s a plot around a stalker, again please keep yourself safe Pineapple Anon!!
If I Don’t Act… [SilentNorth]: This is gritty and painful, but don’t worry! There’s a happy ending :D (I rarely read/write/recc pure angst, you’re safe here my child). Kiri is a college dropout working two jobs, living with Mina as his roommate, and with a hero complex the size of Texas. Enter art student Bakugou, who can save himself thank you very much. Some mention of depression/attempted suicide, as well as slightly less than canon-typical violence, please keep yourself safe and skip it if that’s going to trigger you, Pineapple Anon.
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all [theroyalsavage]: A Kiribaku “10 Things I Hate About You” AU where Todoroki asks Kirishima to fake-date Bakugou so he can date Midoriya. Everything is going smoothly until Kirishima accidentally falls in love *gasp*!!
The Skeletons Inside Of Us [firelord_zutara]: Erasermic, quirkless AU where Mic was the lead singer of Aizawa’s favorite local band in college. Aizawa has a crush on him, they lost touch after college, and they didn’t meet again…until their nephews (Aizawa adopted Midoriya, Shinsou is Mic’s sister’s kid) meet and by extension, the uncles. Background ShinKami and KiriBaku, written for EraserMic week (7 chapters).
Life’s a Drag(on) [PurplePersnickety]: FANTASY AU!!! You know, the Fantasy AU from the third ending. But altered, juuuuuust slightly. Bakugou lives in(? ish) a village and helps a dragon when it’s hurt. A day or so later, a (hot) new guy comes to town named Kirishima, and the dragon keeps coming around. Shenaniganery follows. :DDD
Space Dust [PurplePersnickety]: Do you like Star Wars, Star Trek, Firefly, and/or Men In Black? Then you’re gonna fuckin LOVE this :DDD It’s got half-alien Kirishima, cyborg Bakugou, mention of a larger universe outside of the planet (outside of the oneshot too, lbr). It is a oneshot though, even if it is a long one, with canon/typical violence and mention of kidnapping and child experimentation. Please put your mental health and well-being above everything else and skip it if it’s gonna trigger you!!!
Achromatopsia [PurplePersnickety]: DID SOMEBODY SAY SOULMATE AU???? No? Well hAVE ONE ANYWAY!!! Kiribaku soulmate AU (oneshot), where you only see in one color until you touch your soulmate for the first time. Fun fact, achromatopsia is the complete inability to see any color!! I’m sure that’s not gonna have any bearing on the story whatsoever…
NSFW Complete:
A Cast for your Heart [KTG]: Heads up, this is LONG. 90 chapters, 268k, it’s magic and sex and drAGONS and angst and almost-dying!! The fantasy system is completely original, set in modern times, and the OCs??? Don’t get me STARTED. Kiribaku, Tododeku, and Seromina are the bnha ships present as well as a lot of OCxOC ships. There’s also a sequel set to come out this month (July 2019)!!
Long Time Coming [Madam_Muffins]: I’ve probably recc’ed this before, but I just. I just love this one so much, ok? It’s massive Kiribaku slow burn, outlining what might happen if Bakugou is just a little bit more emotionally constipated. Baku fucks up, gets help, he and Kiri get together (and fuck a little), and there’s elements of the Reincarnation and Fantasy AUs in there towards the end!! Go read it, madammuffins is my amazing tumblr mom and I love her to bits.
SFW Ongoing:
Engraved In Your Mind [Hejter]: FACEBLIND BAKUGOU KATSUKI!!! It’s canon-compliant, except for that little detail, but she writes it so WELL that now I can’t look at canon!Bakugou without thinking that he’s faceblind. Kiri finds out and starts working to build trust with Bakugou and help him on his path to becoming the top hero, and it’s GREAT. Slowburn Kiribaku. Like,,,SLOW.
Define: Oblivious [PurplePersnickety]: I bet you thought I was done with the Purple reccs. I’m never going to be done reccing Purple. Deal with it. I mentioned, in the summary for Love Notes, that there was a six month time skip? This is what happens in those six months. SeroKami and MomoJirou are side ships in this one.
The Right Thing [TuesdayTerrible]: Established Kiribaku where they’re graduated from UA, and living together, and being pro heroes…and then one day Baku finds a little girl who tried to kill herself cuz she was quirkless. Needless to say, this strikes a chord in Bakugou (cuz…yknow, he kinda told Midoriya to kill himself in like episode one and then it was never addressed again). He can’t stop thinking about her, and while we haven’t gotten there YET it looks like it’s gonna end with him and Kirishima adopting her and Bakugou apologizing for the bullshit he put Mido through. There is mention of a suicide attempt (clearly), skip it if that’s gonna trigger you!!!
Hands Off! [PullingAllMighters]: Much like Kiss Me Through The Screen, Hands Off! is a non-canon compliant aged-up AU where not everyone is a full-time hero. Kiri is, Kami and Sero are his sidekicks, Ochako is in a different agency, and everyone else is doing Other Shit. Bakugou hasn’t revealed his full backstory yet, but it looks like he was a Pro Hero until a year or so ago when something bad happened and now he’s got PTSD. His old apartment building burned down so he’s living in Ochako, Momo, Jirou, and Mina’s guesthouse until he finds a job and another place to live. This has a fresh take on the hero system, and I really really enjoy it so far!! There is, however, a fairly detailed scene of Bakugou being triggered so if reading that would trigger you, please don’t!! Keep yourself safe, Pineapple Anon!!! Endgame Kiribaku
Blood of my Hand [PurplePersnickety]: Is it obvious yet that I LOVE purple’s writing??? This, I believe, was the gateway work, and I’ve dived headfirst in and not looked back. Fantasy AU, slowburn Kiribaku, and it’s. I can’t even sum it up. There’s too much. It’s too good. Game of Thrones WISHES it could be what BomH is. There’s mention of slavery and past child abuse, please skip that if it’s going to trigger you!!
A Boy and his Dragon [VanHan]: Oh look, another fantasy AU. Have you figured out that I have a type yet? Kiribaku but the Kiribaku hasn’t really happened yet, cuz Bakugou is a literal child who got kidnapped and is probably gonna get sold. He doesn’t even know Kirishima is Kirishima, he just knows him as the cool dragon in the cage. This one just barely makes the SFW list, because there’s no explicit mention of fucking, but there’s a really really gross pedophile that shows up fairly early on and hasn’t died yet. There’s also graphic depictions of violence in the first chapter, and once you combine those two things I would absolutely understand if you decided to give this one a pass, too.
Everglow [Maplefudge]: ANOTHER fantasy AU?!?! In MY fic recc list?? It’s more likely than you think. This one just started, and it’s got that enemies-to-lovers shit going on. Dragons plus my favorite tropes = FUCK YEAH!!!
Crimson [Crocodillia]: I bet you thought I was done with the fantasy AU reccs, didn’t you? Well, HAVE ANOTHER!!! This one has strong HTTYD vibes, and I’ve literally never seen anyone try that before with these characters!! So far there’s only two chapters, but I am HOOKED and if you like HTTYD…you’re gonna like this, too.
Becoming Human [FoolishFortuna]: Demon!Bakugou becomes Human!Bakugou when he refuses to take a kid’s soul. I think we’re three chapters in and he just got to earth and met Kirishima, as well as a few holy people (Midoriya, Ochako, Iida, and I believe Tetsu). Now he gotta find his daughter and keep her safe. Kiribaku with some fairly graphic descriptions of torture and cannibalism in the second chapter, don’t read it if that’s gonna trigger you!! Also he pretty brutally rips apart the girl’s abusive parents.
Surviving for Second Chances [SilentNorth]: TWEWY Kiribaku AU!!! There’s some differences between the original game and the fic, for pretty obvious reasons (medium, objective, and character differences being a few), but this got me to FINALLY watch a playthrough of the game cuz I’m too broke to go and buy it myself!! Kirishima as Neku and Bakugou as Joshua, plus Mina as Shiki and TodoDeku as Rhyme and Beat. Canon-typical violence, and we just finished up Week 1!!
Love And Other Allergens [thefrailtyofgenius]: A Quirkless AU where Todoroki is a lawyer with a flower shop underneath his apartment. Todo finds out he’s allergic to one of the plants, buys a different bouquet every week instead of, yknow, asking for help like a normal human being (I say, knowing damn well I’d just buy allergy medication and not even try to figure out what I’m allergic TO), and accidentally falls in love with the cute (and absolutely fucking ripped) flower boy (Midoriya lmao). It’s LONG. The TodoDeku is extremely slowburn, and there’s a fuckload of side ships. An incomplete list: Erasermic, Kiribaku, ShinIida (Shinsou and Iida), and MomoJirou. Bonus Endeavor’s Bad Parenting, Midoriya Hisashi’s Bad Parenting, and both of those assholes getting locked up forever :D (I’m so serious about the length tho, it’s like 40 chapters or something).
NSFW Ongoing:
Mixing Signals [Shippeh]: Kiribaku aged-up, but they’ve tried to date multiple times and every time Bakugou fucked it up. Every time they broke up, they pretended like they’d never tried in the first place (which…oW), but this time. THIS time, Bakugou swears he’s gonna make them work.
Heartbeat Thunder [Shippeh]: This is one of the few ABO fics I’ll recc, because it’s not just “ooh heat sex fun times”. This has THOUGHT put into it. They’re confused kids goddamnit, let them be confused!!! Basically Kiri doesn’t ever want to rut so he’s suppressing everything about being an alpha, while Bakugou thinks that trying to hide from your secondary gender is stupid. They do fuck tho, which is why the fic is in NSFW Ongoing.
Take a Chance On Me [FanficIsMyThing]: The other ABO fic I’ll happily recc. Kiri is an alpha which lets him be a hero, while Baku is an omega so he’s gotta be a vigilante until the laws get changed. They run into each other on patrol a few times, Baku helps Kiri and crew out a few times, and every time Kirishima *mysteriously* fails to catch the vigilante Chemical X. They haven’t actually fucked yet, but there’s been enough sexy times to put this squarely in NSFW territory. And it’s not just sex!! I don’t wanna spoil, but it’s good I swear.
Opposed to the Typical [Heronfem]: A model/fashion designer AU featuring HoH!Bakugou, model!Bakugou and designer!Kirishima, as well as a metric shitload of others. Basically Kiri is an intern with Fatgum who gets called to help another studio with their fitting, gets assigned to Bakugou, figures out he’s HoH and handles it like a champ. Because he does it so well, whenever Bakugou needs to get his measurements taken again, they immediately call for Kirishima. And ofc they gonna fall in love :3c But its more complicated than that, and I don’t wanna give too much away, but make sure that you pay attention to any trigger warnings at the start of the chapters!!!
78 notes · View notes
hcrcwitz · 5 years
Text
     hello friends! my name is moose (she/her, 21, cst) and i yam JAZZED. i feel like i haven’t been in a group in forever but i couldn’t not join this one? idK. anyway. im a messy bih who likes bugs and poutine & that’s abt it. this is intro 1/3 and im prayin im not here writing them all night bc u know i only got 2 brain cells left!!! buT please, if u want to plot HMU or LIKE THIS and i’ll come to u! lmk if u prefer discord bc i can give u that instead!
Tumblr media
❝   jameela jamil.  cisfemale.  she/her.   ❞   ━    𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨  welcomes  inaya kaur  with  open  arms.  the  thirty-three  year  old  makeup artist / beauty guru has  been  living  here  for  seven years,  give  or  take.  on  a  good  day,  they  seem  the  sanguine  &  intuitive  type,  but  their  contradictory  &  self-sacrificing  tendencies  shine  through  when  there  are  no  taxis  into  the  city.
tw: suicide attempt & abortion !!
starting w her background
she’s a first generation american born in manhattan. her mum is from pakistan & her dad is from india & they both attended columbia where they met and fell in love awww how cute we luv some heteros. her mum was studying accounting and her father architecture. they married right after graduation and found a place in manhattan to start their family!!
they had a lot of trouble getting pregnant but eventually they were blessed with a set of beautiful twins !!! dimah was born and then seven minutes later, inaya came too.
although the twins always got along v well, inaya kind of felt like the black sheep. she was never as smart as her sister. she was never as popular as her sister. she tried so hard to be liked and even though her & dimah were best friends, people always seemed to like inaya less.
because they were twins, they were being compared constantly. it was always “why cant you be like dimah? dimah does this dimah does that. dimah has good friends” blah blah blah. it was frustrating bc inaya tried so hard and.........she got nothing. it was impossible for her to form her own identity when she had a sister who looked just like her. 
it went on like this and eventually inaya got used to it and just....did her own thing. she figured she would never be as good as her sister so there was no use in trying to make her parents proud so she just stopped trying and tried to do what made her happy. it didn’t really work. in fact, it only made things worse.
she felt defeated. like nothing she could do would ever be good enough for them. she had friends that loved and supported her but her the disappointment from her parents’ weighed heavily on her heart and her self esteem.
suicide attempt tw !! she was only sixteen years old when she attempted to end her own life. she was found by her best friend who rushed her to the hospital where her life was saved.
after that her parents kind of realized how their words and actions affected her. (a little too late but still) and things started to get better. they were angry with her at first but hearing her explain how she felt and how they made her feel things started to click into place. she was a good kid, really. she never did anything wrong. she hung out with some questionable people but her parents started to recognize that she was just doing her best.
things were pretty ok for the next few years. not good, but ok.
and then, when she was nineteen, she noticed her period was late. it was VERY late. she took an at-home pregnancy test and it came out positive and she was absolutely TERRIFIED. her parents eventually found the test and absolutely lost their minds. they were okay with her hanging out with shady people and not getting perfect grades but the unwanted pregnancy was the final straw, it seemed.
and just like that, she was kicked out of her own house with no where to live. she ended up moving in with her best friend while she worked odd jobs to save up some money.
abortion tw !! with no money and no help to raise a child that she didn’t exactly want, inaya ended up getting her pregnancy terminated. it was the hardest decision she’d ever had to make and the choice still weighs heavy on her soul though she doesn’t regret it.
she & her best friend decided in their mid-20s that it was time for a change of scenery and that’s how she found herself in lakeview.
ever since, she’s been working as a freelance makeup artist while also being an active member of the beauty community on youtube. though her job is somewhat unconventional, it makes her really happy and she feels very successful by doing what she loves and making pretty decent money for it. she hopes to start her own makeup brand pretty soon that is.....her ultimate dream
ok that got longer than i wanted but here is more abt her personality
she is......an absolute angel. the sweetest woman u may ever meet
the opinions of others are very important to her so she is always working double time to impress people even tho.......it ultimately just makes her unhappy
she’s way better off since she’s sort of lost contact with her parents but she still.......has that uncontrollable urge to please people no matter what
puts everyone else before herself
she’s very sensitive and very emotional. she takes almost everything super personally
just wants people to like her
100000000% the mom friend. will always be texting u to make sure you’ve eaten and whatnot. will over to make u dinner if u havent. makes sure ur drinking water if you’re drinking alcohol and will wake up at 3am to drive you home if she has to
just wants everyone to be safe and happy
wears her heart on her sleeve but doesnt want people to see her sad?? also.....she does’t follow any of her own advice like a whacko.
she puts her entire heart and soul into everything she does
doesn’t stop talking tbh. she just.......doesn’t know how to shut up rly
just wants ppl to like her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
some extra tidbits !!
loves to bake
LOVES doing her friend’s makeup and honestly.......will give u a little makeover for free just because
halloween is her absolute fave holiday the bitch goes WILD her costumes are always over the top
loves horror movies
puts a lot of effort into her appearance. always wearing something flattering w her hair and makeup done. dressed to the nines at all times basically
tall af but always wearing heels anyway bc she is............powerful
wanted to be a ballet dancer but she was told she was too tall so she quit
loves wine
falls in love 12 times a day tbh
my bi queen
she has a pet bunny named clover
there is she folks, sry it’s a lot. but pls...still love me :’)
12 notes · View notes
bfknj · 7 years
Text
tags masterpost (?)
I was tagged in a few tag games over the past few days and instead of posting them all separately I decided to just put them all on one! If I tagged you feel free to do any or all of these (including people who tagged me!!) As always, don’t feel any pressure to do any, I just think these are fun and wanted to share :)
- - - - 11 questions tag - - - -
Rules: 1. Make sure to post the rules!! 2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people
these questions are from @moonmyun !! michaela you had me stRUGGLIN OKAY YOUR QUESTIONS WERE HARD but ily still bless you for the tag you angel :”)
1 who is your bias group? why?
BANGTAN SONYEONDAN AKA MEME SQUAD !!!!!!! honestly they just make me so beyond happy wow holly nobody ever says that about their favs ur original a LOOOT of music is centered around love these days and not to say bts doesn’t do that with a lot of their music but they also tackle a lot of societal issues and I really respect them for that. From 21st century girls w politics, spring day mv and the ferry sinking, suicide in the I need u mv and many other things I feel like they take risks for the sake of portraying what they hold true to their hearts/morals not necessarily what will sell best and I can’t name many other groups who do that as well :( also my boys cute af I love those dweebs IM SO WHIPPED HAH
2 which kpop video do you find the most aesthetically pleasing?
this is hard :(( idk my number one but I really like seventeen hip hop unit’s check in, red velvet’s one of these nights, ladies code’s galaxy, kim lip of loona’s eclipse and crush’s fall ! they don't all match my aesthetic but I feel like they match the songs really well!!! watch them okay 3/5 of them are hELLA UNDERRATED bye
3 if you could instantly learn one choreography, what would you pick?
something by either gfriend or bts?? love whisper or not today or blood sweat tears?? OOOH or red flavor by rv!! tbh though I’m really skinny so my limbs look weird af with a lot of dances rip
4 who do you look up to as a role model (in the kpop community or not)?
there’s no person in particular that really sticks out but I will say I’ve always admired jungkook, and really all trainees for that matter, who leave their families to start training really young because its a process thats hard physically, emotionally and mentally for late teen/early twenties trainees but there’s sO many kids who enter in their pre-teens and idk how they survive also I realized this doesn’t answer your question at all I'm sorry its 1:28 AM I’m just waiting for the DNA mv to drop
5 whose concert would you go to if you could and why?
DAY6 DAY6 DAY6 DAY6 !!!!! THEY INVENTED LIVE SHOWS DONT FIGHT ME ON THIS or shoot maybe dean or crush or heize?? I LOVE TOO MANY TALENTED PEOPLE also I would say bts but although there are countless amazing beautiful armys there are def some crazy scary ones that are known to be horrible at concerts so
6 if you could pick one idol to be best friends with, who would it be and why?
OK YALL IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A LOT IN MY DAILY LIFE SO S/H TO MICHAELA FOR ASKING ILY either boo seungkwan or ahn heeyeon!! I feel like hani would be so fun to have girl time with bc I feel like we’re really similar in some ways ?? IDK I LOVE HER bUT overall I’d say boo seungkwan because istg we are 100000000% the same person only he has a weenie ok just trust me I am boo and boo is me
7 would you want to be a part of a kpop group if you had the opportunity to be?
I’d absolutely love to be in the entertainment industry and I think the staging, costuming, group dynamics and publicity (variety shows, fan service/interations) in the kpop industry are all really cool but I honestly don't think I have the mental strength to do it lmao idols go through so much and I don’t think I could handle it regardless of how much I enjoy singing/dancing/performing etc.
8 what languages do you speak, and which do you want to learn?
english and some spanish??? I understand a lot because quite a bit of my family speaks it but my conversational skills have gone downhill recently because I haven’t had a lot of opportunities to practice :( with that said, I’d like to be fluent in spanish and - BEFORE YOU COME FOR ME READ IT ALL OK - I’d like to learn korean BECAUSE!!!!! when I was little before I moved I would go to a farmers market by my house and a lot of the older ladies there spoke korean and little holly though it sounded so pretty and I always wanted to chat w them ok THATS WHY I’m not a creepy koreaboo this has been a thing since before I even knew what a kpop was ok bye 
9 what song cheers you up when you’re sad?
fire by bts bc I get hella turnt to that song its a pROBLEM also jackpot by block b, baby/puss in boots by astro, chained up by vixx, not today/bst by bts, knock knock by twice, i think I love you by sonamoo THE LIST GOES ON I HAVE A WHOLE PLAYLIST OK
10 what things do you associate with your bias?
dimples!! pretty hands, closing one eye in selcas, ootds, happiness so cheesy ik sORRY, ryan, studying, awkward dancing, open mouth laughs, second hand embarrassment, sentimental rants
11 what’s your favourite thing to do in your free time?
cry over namjoon tbh I’m one of those people who is constantly listening to music so I’m always doing that and singing along regardless of if its free time or not HAH then I really like reading and catching up on my youtube subscriptions
my questions!
what is your dream job?
favorite book of all time?
what is your current fashion like and what is your dream fashion?
if your best friend was cloned, how would you know which one of the two was your best friend?
what song got you into kpop?
which idol do you think is most similar to you?
favorite kpop lyrics?
if given the opportunity to collaborate with any group/soloist of your choice, who would you choose and why?
what is your favorite physical and character trait of your ult?
which underrated groups/soloists do you believe deserve more recognition? any song recs?
do you read fanfics? if so, what are your favorites?
- - - - song title game - - - -
I was tagged by @kihani, your song choices were 12/10 
rules: spell you your url with kpop songs and tag ten people! (all of these happen to by song recs too so listen nd be happy friends)
mysterious - hello venus
i think i love you? - sonamoo (a fav ok listen pls)
life in color - beenzino
knock - knk 
jelly - hotshot
only u - daze
out of sorts - vixx
night rather than day - exid
she’s a baby - zico
- - - - get to know me tag! - - - -
1ST RULE: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better.
2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true. tagged by @sleepysugarmoon, thank you friend!! APPEARANCE: I am 5'7" or taller I wear glasses (or contact lenses) I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or have had braces PERSONALITY: I love meeting new people  People tell me that I’m funny   Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it ABILITY: I can sing well I can play an instrument  I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month Fandoms are my #1 passion  I do or have done martial arts EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts RELATIONSHIPS: I’m in a relationship I have a crush on a celebrity I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close to my school My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone RANDOM SHIT: I have breakdanced I have had a teacher with the last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages I have made a new friend in the past year
tagging some mutuals bc ily and why do you even follow me I'm a wreck tbh OK i tag: @kihani, @21jd, @lapatronakim, @94seulqi, @gayoongi, @springdqy, @medina-kim, @15minss, @je0n, @cottontae, @taebaeul, @booty-baekery, @lalisl, @babekhyun, @voidpjm and anyone else who wants to try any or all of these!! 
9 notes · View notes
kc-krill · 6 years
Text
Time to Vent
Alright so. This is the only way I can really vent anonymously. I don't want to post on Instagram or some shit like that. I'm not even sure if anyone is actually gonna read this shit but here goes.
I feel shitty. Like really shitty. Like I dont want to be here in this world shitty. I'm not looking for pity or anything like that. Don't Comment numbers to suicide hotlines because I'm honestly not going to call them. But I don't want to be here anymore. I lost the fucking love of my life and I hate everything.
It all started back in October. Yes. I know most of you are thinking "why are you so broken up about a girl you met 3 months ago". But she was different. It didn't feel like 3 months. I 100% she is my soul mate. I 100% believe we were together in a past life. And we've found each other again. I don't open up a lot. Not ever actually. My best friend of 6 years gets angry with me because I don't open up. But it was so easy with her. I never felt like I had to hide or lie or act any other way than myself.
When I first met her, let's call her K, she invited me to a party. I thought she was dating someone at the time so I didn't really think past "this girl is pretty awesome. She'd be an awesome friend". She was single I come to find out. The next week she invited me universal horror nights with her friends. We are inseperable the whole night. It's our night. We laugh and joke and it's the start of something extraordinary.
As time goes on she says she believes in an concept of soul mates. That there are about 7 people on this Earth who you are destined/scientifically researched to be the most compatible with. And we talk and talk about how we are each other's 1 of 7's. This becomes our main cute thing.
But she tells me she just got out of a relationship and though she really likes me she says she wants to be 100% I'm not a rebound so we have to wait a while. And she wants to experience being single a little bit because she's been tied down time after time for the past few years. I think that's pretty reasonable so why not.
So she goes on a date with this guy. Let's call him T. They go to Knott's scary farm Halloween night. It just so happens im going with my friends that night too. So during that night we meet up with them. She didn't realize it was a date apparently until halfway through. He seems cool enough. She said she didn't really see a future with him aside from a couple dates and possibly a cool friendship.
So fast forward to Nov 25. I take her out for her birthday. We go to Disney. We have an amazing day. It was magical. The very next day. I get into a car accident. My car is totaled. I get a concussion. Nothing serious enough for an overnight stay at the hospital. You know how they say life flashes before you're eyes right before you think you are gonna die? I didn't see my life. I saw her. Only her. So that night, I tell her about the crash and she is so worried about me she sneaks out and comes to my house. I tell her I'm in love with her. This isn't out of nowhere btw. We have been basically dating this whole time. Kissing. Cuddling. Having sex. The whole shabang. Anyway. The next day or the day after that. She says it back.
So she's still seeing T. They've gonna on a couple dates here and there. Nothing serious. But he's starting to really like her. I ask her about it and she says that she's not that into him but she just like the chillness of not being tied down right now. She says they won't sleep together. A couple nights later they get drunk and sleep together.
So I'm heartbroken. She says it was a mistake and that she was drunk. I try to look past it because we weren't together so I can't really be mad. She didn't cheat on me. But I'm still there for her. I told her I would never leave like everyone else in her life. No matter what happens im gonna be there. Even if we don't end up together. We keep having our thing. And here's where I fuck it up and you all hate me.
So I have an anger problem. I punch walls. I break things. I wouldn't ever slap or hit a woman. But when I get back I don't realize how much force I'm using. So a couple times I've grabbed her arm or her thigh and she said it hurts. I've since stopped doing that. But that's not the bad part. I also have a really bad habit of hitting myself when I get angry. I have no release so I take it out on my own body. So during one really really intense fight I grabbed her hands and started punching my face with them. Her hands hurt for days after that.
Yes yes before you comment how much of a piece of shit I am I understand. I 100% know I'm a horrible person. I get it. You don't have to remind me.
This fucks everything up. That week I was staying with her while her parents were away. The next night she is hanging out with T and she texts me she is really furious with me and can't see me tonight and I can't stay there. She tells me T won't spend the night there with her. She tells me to come the next morning. I arrive the next morning and blow up her phone that I'm there. No response. So I come inside and go to her room. What do I find but them naked in bed together. So I knock on her door loud AF and we have an argument. She tells me they were going to have sex but didn't. And I believe her because despite all of this we are 100% truthful to each other. That and since I knew they were hanging out I took the lube. Because I bought it and I'm not ok with him using something I bought to fuck the woman I love. She tells me that me fucking up like that brought T and her closer and he's not just some guy anymore.
Anyway. I, of my own volition realize that I'm a fuck and go to anger management. I can't have a healthy relationship if that part of me is there still. So I'm working to get rid of it. I told her if I ever touch her again while angry I will walk away no questions asked.
Side note. This whole time she is trying to get me to go on holiday for New year's with her and her family. They first try to go to Saint Lucia in the Caribbean but my dad won't let me. Then Hawaii but my dad takes too long to give an answer.
So I'm in Texas for Christmas and she tells me she's taking T on holiday. They are going to Colorado. I feel horrible. She says she went to therapy and the therapist told her not to be with me. That she shouldn't have this anger in her life. The next few days are a bit awkward because she basically just told me she's not gonna choose me. But we get back into our flow. Flirting. Sexting. We talk about all the "fun"we're gonna have when she gets back. Cut to today
She tells me he told her he loves her. Gave her key to his apartment. She hasn't said it back. But they are official now. She says they have an expiration date. She doesn't think it's gonna last past may/june. But for now, they are together.
Believe it or not that was the quick version. That's why I feel shitty. The one person in this world who I think doesn't think I'm a total fuck up, I lost. I fucked up the only thing I've cared about. This has been one shitty shitty shitty year and this is a fucking Grand ol way to end it.
I'm pretty positive no one read this whole fucking thing. If you did thank you so much.
TL;DR - I fell in love and fucked it up and I just want to die.
0 notes