#me watching all of buffy in two and a half weeks then never rewatching... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

diwatera · 3 years

Text

LGBTQ+ Movies I Watched Recently (Part 2)

Happiest Season (2020) dir. Clea DuVall

Short Summary: Abby plans on proposing to Harper when they visit Harper’s family for the holidays. Her plans get derailed when she learns that Harper hasn’t come out to her family yet.

Why you should watch it: Not gonna lie, Mackenzie Davis drew me to this movie; I’ve been in love with her ever since San Junipero came out. Add Kristen Stewart, Aubrey Plaza and Dan Levy to the mix and I’m sold. If you want a sapphic romance with a happy ending, this one’s for you.

Été 85 (2020) dir. François Ozon

Short Summary: Alexis recounts his six-week love affair with David during the summer of ‘85.

Why you should watch it: If you love 80s aesthetic and music, you definitely should watch this. The movie made me nostalgic of that decade and I wasn’t even alive back then! It’s a whirlwind summer romance reminiscent of Call Me by Your Name but with a more devastating twist.

Getting Go: The Go Doc Project (2013) dir. Cory James Krueckeberg

Short Summary: An obsessed college boy pursues his internet crush through the pretext of making a documentary about him.

Why you should watch it: The script and the acting are the one-two punch of this film. The writing is incredibly genuine, and both of the actors’ performances made the lines feel even more natural. I’m not the biggest fan of mockumentary-style films, but this one felt like it was a recording of my own life. Hyper-obsessive college grad with a Tumblr blog? Might as well have called out half the population of this damn site.

Pihalla (2017) dir. Nils-Erik Ekblom

Short Summary: Miku and Elias find themselves, and each other, during a summer in the Finnish countryside.

Why you should watch it: I’m a sucker for gays in the countryside™ and although this one is not quite up there with God’s Own Country and Call Me by Your Name, it still makes for a good watch. Miku as a character and his relationship with his parents was chaotic and fun. His relationship with Elias felt really natural and dreamy.

You, Me and Him (2017) dir. Daisy Aitkens

Short Summary: Olivia, a mature responsible lawyer, wants to have a baby, but her girlfriend Alex isn’t ready for the responsibility. Things get even more complicated when their flirty neighbour, John, joins the picture.

Why you should watch it: It is one of the most feel-good lesbian romcoms I have seen in a while. But I warn you, there are some dark parts that can really sneak up on you. Yeah, it’s hilarious, but damn it made me ugly cry, too. Oh, and if you want to see David Tennant as an alpha male douchebag, here’s your chance. (CW: **spoiler alert** p̶r̶e̶g̶n̶a̶n̶c̶y̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶s̶ )

Giant Little Ones (2018) dir. Keith Behrman

Short Summary: Franky and Ballas have been best friends since childhood, both on the swimming team, both incredibly popular. But after an incident during Franky’s birthday, they quickly fall apart and Franky falls from grace.

Why you should watch it: I think the film captures just how tumultuous coming-of-age stories are. Franky is going through his own journey of self-identity, and I’m happy that the movie didn’t rush in with labels. The conversation Franky has with his dad at the end also hits hard. (CW: physical assault, allusions to sexual assault)

Our Love Story (2016) dir. HyunJu Lee

Short Summary: A fine arts student meets an attractive bartender, and the two women begin an intimate relationship.

Why you should watch it: It’s a very intimate love story that isn’t rushed or dragged out for too long. We definitely see Yoon-Jo and Ji-Soo’s relationship bloom from start to end, but it’s not mind-numbingly boring to watch. Raw and unembellished, I definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a realistic portrayal of wlw romance.

Die Mitte der Welt (2016) dir. Jakob M. Erwa

Short Summary: The film follows Phil and his relationship with his family, his best friend, and a newcomer at his school, Nicholas.

Why you should watch it: This is technically a second watch for me, and I’m glad I rewatched it, because I was able to catch some glaring red flags that I missed the first time. I love this movie in spite of all the heartache it caused me. The story, especially the deal with Phil’s family, struck a chord in me. And the shots! Visually stunning as well!

Les Amours Imaginaires (2010) dir. Xavier Dolan

Short Summary: Marie and Francis’ friendship is put to the test when a beautiful boy called Nicolas comes between them.

Why you should watch it: Watch it for the visuals -- the colors, the costumes, the cast. Seriously, the actors included here may as well be kept in the Louvre: Xavier Dolan, Neils Schneider, Monia Chokri, hell, even a cameo from Louis Garrel! Dolan said it himself that this is a shallow film, but it’s worth the watch just to see Neils Schneider wearing heart-shaped glasses.

Closet Monster (2015) dir. Stephen Dunn

Short Summary: A creative and driven teenager is desperate to escape his hometown and the haunting memories of his turbulent childhood.

Why you should watch it: Right off the bat, I am going to say that this film is dark. I tried watching it back in college but tapped out within the first ten minutes because something traumatic happens. Then I tried again about a week ago, finished it this time. It’s actually a very moving film. It’s violent and gory in some parts, but also ridiculous and wholesome in other parts. IT HAS A TALKING HAMSTER NAMED BUFFY! BUFFY WAS THE STAR OF THIS MOVIE FOR ME. (CW: gay bashing/sexual assault)

Straight Up (2020) dir. James Sweeney

Short Summary: Todd and Rory are intellectual soul mates. He might be gay but she might not care.

Why you should watch it: The dialogue in this film is undeniably sharp and witty. Loved the fast-paced back and forth between the two main characters as they discuss relationships, sex, gender, and more. James Sweeney and Katie Findlay’s chemistry just pulled you into the screen. It was funny, it was sweet, it was heartwrenching, it was great! (CW: allusions to sexual assault)

Latter Days (2003) dir. C. Jay Cox

Short Summary: A promiscuous gay party animal falls for a young Mormon missionary, leading to crisis, cliché, and catastrophe.

Why you should watch it: I saw this in santiagonex’s top 20 LGBTQ+ films with happy endings, and I honestly thought it was gonna be a feel-good watch. Instead, I got a rollercoaster melodrama filled with early 2000s gay culture, religious guilt, buttcheeks, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Needless to say, I got more than I bargained for. (CW: self-harm, conversion therapy)

The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Blythewood

Short Summary: A covert team of immortal mercenaries are suddenly exposed and must now fight to keep their identity a secret just as an unexpected new member is discovered.

Why you should watch it: Okay, I was debating whether I should include this here, because it’s not necessarily an LGBTQ+ film as much as it is an action film with queer characters. I decided to include it, because JESUS! I have never seen such respectful and well-written representation of queer characters and relationships. Joe and Nicky are the most unproblematic couple in history. PERIOD. Pray for sequels, everyone. This is the kind of representation we deserve in mainstream media.

. . .

Click here for more LGBTQ+ film recs

#Queer Cinema #queer films #LGBT Films #lgbtq #Movie Recommendation #kristen stewart #mackenzie davis #summer of 85 #the old guard

228 notes · View notes

destielshippingnews · 3 years

Text

Edvard's Supernatural Rewatch & Review: 1x04 Phantom Traveler

In this week’s analysis, I’ll be discussing the unfortunate introduction of Abrahamic mythology, the lamentable gender politics of Dean in his nightwear, and magic languages.

Supernatural’s fourth offering, 1x04 Phantom Traveler, (not a misspelling, 'traveller' is spelt like that in America) is a solid episode. It’s not fantastic, and Supernatural certainly has better to offer, but it’s still an entertaining watch which introduces demons into the Supernatural universe and continues developing Dean and Sam’s characters, making them more distinct.

It is also the first episode Robert Singer directed for Supernatural. I didn’t see much to particularly comment on in the direction for this episode (my two years of Media Studies were not wasted on me at all), but one interesting choice, however, is the tracking shot of Dean’s sleeping form straight after the title card. EscapingPurgatory podcast had a shrewd postulation: the intended audience was heterosexual educated men between the ages of roughly 15 and 39, but a lot of them would be watching with their girlfriends and wives etc, and Dean is the brother who’s available at the moment.

Returning to the plot of the show, the script does itself a major disservice as early as the cold open. This episode was broadcast in America four years after 9/11 (almost four and a half in Britain) and was right in the middle of the decades-long and still ongoing war on drugs. The atmosphere surrounding airfare has changed fundamentally. The air hostess clearly saw the man’s black eyes and was affected by it, and should have alerted somebody on the plane to her worries, because she would have thought he was on drugs of some variety at the very least, and possibly smuggling drugs on the plane. However, for the purposes of the plot she does not act on her misgivings, but simply gasps and goes about her day.

This raises the question of why the demon revealed its presence like that. Demons are usually incredibly stupid on Supernatural, but this level of dumb is difficult for me to believe. The air hostess could have very easily had the man thrown off the aeroplane, and then its plan would be scuppered. The most likely reason was to show the audience that the man was possessed, but the audience was going to find that out in about a minute’s time anyway, so why reveal it there? It breaks the fourth wall in a bad way.

Whilst on the aeroplane and the demon’s plan, the episode never makes the demon’s motivations explicit. Sure, Sam claims that demons like death and destruction for their own sake, but this doesn’t fit well with how demons behave later in the show. They are, forsooth, as thick as poo, but they usually have higher ups telling them what to do. Was the demon’s repeated downing of aeroplanes part of a higher up’s plan?

Before I go on, it’s worthwhile mentioning that this episode is the first one to introduce the idea of an actual Abrahamic Hell in the Supernatural universe. It’s not the only genre show of its kind to have included something like this, with Charmed having the Underworld where the Source of All Evil resided, and Buffy having various Hell dimensions, but those two examples weren’t Hell as depicted in the Bible.

Joss Whedon specifically avoided the idea of a Hell and employed dimensions ruled by demons and demon gods rather than Archangel Lucifer. Charmed used the Underworld as an equivalent of Hell, but it was not a place of punishment for human souls. While Charmed is definitely my least favourite fantasy/horror/sci-fi genre show (Prue notwithstanding), I appreciated that it took a step away from Abrahamic mythology. Buffy/Angel were even better, having their own mythology that had precious little to do with Middle Eastern religions and more to do with Dunsany, Lovecraft or sometimes even Tolkien.

Kripke, however, took the lazy route with Abrahamic, specifically Christian, mythology, a choice which I believe was to the show’s detriment. It’s supposed to be a show about American folklore and urban legends, but that stuff eventually gets thrown under the bus. Forget Native Americans, screw the Americanised versions of Scandiwegian lore, screw the Old West and the Gold Rush and all the tales revolving around America’s history. And Canada? Pfft. What even is Canada? And don’t even think about Mexico. Let’s just have yet more desert myths from 2-3000 years ago.

My distaste aside, this universe has a Hell (and a Heaven), and demons are made by torturing humans until all humanity is gone from them, or by letting the humans off the torture rack if they agree to become the torturers.

Knowing this, two possibilities come to mind. One is that this demon is repeating its own human death for some reason, and another is that it kills people and drags their souls to Hell to make more demons.

Repeating its own death is entirely speculative, but this episode mixes up demons with traits later associated with ghosts and death echoes. Never again is an EMF reader used to detect demonic activity, and unless I’ve forgotten a certain example, demons aren’t shown to act as specifically as this again.

The second option, that of dragging souls to Hell, doesn’t seem likely as it’s made clear that demon deals or trades are required in order for Hell to get its claws on human souls, at least in usual circumstances. There’s nothing saying that demons can’t just decide to drag certain souls to Hell, and there is an implication at the end of this episode that this might actually be the case, but it’s a stretch. If this were the case, however, it would give the demon a real motive and make the episode less of a stand-alone bit of fun with overt X-Files vibes.

Sticking with Hell events on the aeroplane for now, let’s skip to the end and the exorcism. Whilst trying to exorcise the demon, it tells Sam that Jessica is burning in Hell. Dean tries to reassure Sam by saying that demons read minds and that it was trying to get to him, but demons can only know the minds of people they possess. This then leaves three options: the demon was lying and Jess is in Heaven, it was telling the truth and Jess is in Hell, or the demon was just trying to get to Sam, but unbeknownst to him Jess actually was in Hell.

Technically speaking, Jess shouldn’t be in Hell. She didn’t make a deal (that we know of) and it’s established later in the show that most people go to Heaven anyway. But Kevin didn’t, neither did Eileen or Bobby. Mary did, even though she made a deal with Azazel, and she died under the same circumstances as Jess. As Jess is never mentioned as being in Hell by another demon in the show, and as Dean, Sam and Cas eventually visit Hell and find nothing of her there, we can assume Jessica went to Heaven.

The exorcism in this episode is strange compared to exorcisms in the rest of the show. The Doyle (external to the text) explanation is clearly that the writers didn’t know exactly how they wanted things to work yet, but the Watson (within the text) explanation could be that they used a different exorcism ritual. Later in the show, there is no intermediate stage between being expelled from the host body and being banished to Hell: they just go directly down. This version, though, forces the demon to manifest and thereby makes it much stronger and more dangerous. I personally think the version in this episode makes the demons more of a threat because it’s harder to exorcise them, but I can see why it became streamlined later in the show.

The fact the demon possessed the aeroplane, however, raises the question of why it didn’t do so in the first place. Maybe it’s more fun to possess a human first.

Speaking of the ritual, Jared tells us on the commentary that he had to have a Latin teacher from a local university instruct him in Ecclesiastical Latin because he learnt Classical Latin at school. As a language person, I’m left wondering why. It’s the same language, just pronounced differently. Does the spell need to be pronounced in a certain way in order to work? If so, would the Ancient Romans have been completely incapable of expelling demons with their own language? Would they have had to rely on Greek, Etruscan, Gaulish or Sumerian for the rituals? It’s just completely unnecessary, especially as we later see Rowena casting spells in Scottish Gaelic, Irish witches casting spells in Irish, Celtic ‛demons’ performing rituals in Gaulish…

At least the university teacher got a little bit of extra money, I suppose.

Sticking with the aeroplane a little bit longer, Dean’s fear of flying is a welcome expansion to his character, though it was clearly included with the intent of making fun of him. It could easily have been played as such, but Jensen’s comments on the commentary indicate he saw it as an opportunity to provide more depth to Dean, as his connection with Lucas through their shared childhood trauma did in 1x03 Dead in the Water. In these two episodes, Jensen begins taking Dean away from the writers and making him his own: he was supposed to be the sidekick, but Jensen said nope.

In making Dean afraid of flying, but having him so insistent upon flying in spite of it, The Show perhaps did itself a bit of a disservice in its mission of making Sam The Hero and Dean The Sidekick. Dean was terrified, but flew anyway. That is bravery, and it’s what the audience wants to see in a hero.

Sam, however, does not miss an opportunity to make me dislike him (you knew this was coming at some point, don’t look surprised). Not only is he incredibly unappreciative and derisive of Dean’s talents, such as making his own EMF from an old Walkman, but he was also derisive of Dean’s fear of flying.

Sorry, let me reword that. Derisive of Dean for being scared of flying. It’s perfectly rational to be afraid of being in a giant metal bird suspended miles above the ground, but Dean agreed to it anyway in order to save people. And Sam treats him like a child because he’s scared of take-off and turbulence. Dean’s fear is a rational one, something that a person who hasn’t been sheltered from reality would have. Sam’s greatest fear, however, is…

Clowns.

I get it, they’re brothers, and siblings are supposed to rib on each other like this (the siblings I still talk to aren’t like this with me or each other, so I find it difficult to relate to Dean and Sam’s relationship) but it makes Sam come across as an utter cunny-hole. If somebody is clearly terrified of something and on the edge of a panic attack, you don’t sneer and mock, and then demand he calm down. Sure, Dean needed to calm down and Sam was the only one who could do it, but talking to him like a child just reveals how little Sam knows of taking care of other people. He’s the pampered younger brother, and it really shows.

He also shows a lack of judgement when roughly putting a hand on Dean’s shoulder while he was distracted. Dean’s essentially a war child (and suffers C-PTSD) and you just shouldn’t do things like this to somebody like that. That’s how you trigger panic attacks or flashbacks. Ask a veteran, I’m sure s/he’ll agree.

Aside from that, the middle-aged man on the aeroplane winked at Dean – winked – when Dean was walking down the aisle with his EMF reader. A man winking at a man has sexual overtones nowadays, and has done for a long time. How many men wink at a built guy standing over them like that unless they’re sure they won’t be punched in the face? Dean had his EMF reader out at that moment, but he was simultaneously on somebody else’s radar. Something about Dean set sexual bells ringing in cameo middle-aged man’s head. Regarding Sam, there’s two important moments for him in this episode (Jess aside): when he discovers John talked about and praised him in his absence, and when he exorcises the demon. It’s made clear in a few episodes’ time that Sam never felt like he fit in with his family, and that he believed John was disappointed in him. Exactly how he came to this conclusion is uncertain, since John doted on Sam and afforded him liberties he never would have allowed Dean, but it’s clear their relationship is difficult. Going away to university was Sam’s attempt to run away from the dysfunctional family he felt an outsider in and to escape John (and Dean): that he apparently didn’t speak to either John or Dean during his time there says a lot.

He finds out, however, that John praised him, undermining somewhat Sam’s belief that John regarded him as a disappointment. Episode 1x05 Bloody Mary provides another moment of character growth for Sam that subtly changes the way he perceives himself, but all in due course.

Praise from parents is important for children, and it really shouldn’t be hard for parents to tell their children they’re proud of them, even if they don’t say it in as many words. In spite of his difficult relationship with John, Sam gets that by proxy in this episode (whilst Dean’s happily checking out all the men in the hangar) and it changes the way he sees himself and John, even if only slightly.

The other moment – discussed above – is his exorcism of the demon. I don’t mince my words about disliking Sam, but even I can see he had potential. He’s the weird kid who wanted a normal life, but because of cursed blood had that hope denied him. Series 4 shows us the beginning of what Sam could have turned into when his blood magic arc truly kicks off, and it could have been a riveting plotline if written and handled well. Think for example of Willow in Buffy and the journey she went on with her magic powers: there was real darkness in there, and a gargantuan struggle to overcome it and become stronger.

This exorcism reminds me of Willow’s first steps at witchcraft in 2x22 when she casts the spell to restore a certain character’s soul and we see the potential for true strength as she performs the spell with ease. This exorcism of Sam’s should have been something similar, and his demonic powers should not have been completely removed and forgotten about in 8x23. He could have been Supernatural’s answer to Willow, and the Dark!Sam arc in series 3-7 could have been the first in his descent into darkness and his fight back out to take control of his own powers and become the opposite of what Azazel wanted him to be.

But – and not for the last time – three words come to mind. Such potential, Supernatural.

You might remember I mentioned the tracking shot of Dean (and neglected to mention the revealing shot of his thighs and underwear). Paula R. Stiles’ suggestion that the fact the writers and director for this episode were men doesn’t cheapen it is one I don’t understand. Jensen is in my 100% objective and unbiased opinion one of the finest men alive, but exploiting that in order to draw in an audience does cheapen the show.

To be fair, Supernatural is hardly high culture and commercial television is about revenue, but things like that break the illusion of artistic integrity, just like not making Dean explicitly bisexual does because that’d scare away too much of the audience. If having scantily-clad women in a show or film is there for the male gaze and drawing in money, then so too are Dean’s thighs and buttocks, similarly cheapening the show. If the male gaze objectifies women, stripping them of their power and subjecting them to male desires, then the female gaze objectifies and strips men of any power they might have and subjects them to female desires.

If it’s bad for the gander, it should also be bad for the goose.

Neither do I think it matters one bit that the writer and director are men, or am I supposed to believe a woman has never encouraged or coerced another woman to flash a bit of boob in order to get men to empty their pockets? Claiming that presenting a person as an object of possible sexual attraction turns him into an ‛object’ is strange, and that claim’s only ever made when women are being presented for men’s enjoyment.

But let’s stick to Supernatural because I have work in the morning. To be honest, I never notice if a woman on screen is being subjected to a ‛male’ gaze because I have no sexual or romantic interest in women whatsoever: if a woman is supposed to be portrayed as appealing to men’s eyes, it’ll usually go straight over my head because it just doesn’t register as having anything to do with sex. Interesting, however, is that this begins the trend of treating Dean in certain ways that women are usually treated, or associating him with ‛feminine’ traits.

Some people go overboard with for example Dean’s association with and likeness to Mary, his taking on the parental (maternal?) role in Sam’s upbringing, his knack with children etc, and use it as evidence to suggest that any traditionally masculine behaviour – or masculine behaviour at all – from Dean is a performance to keep up an act so that he can hide how feminine he really is.

My take on this is quite different than the condescending viewpoint that a man behaving like a man is performing and pretending. Dean’s ‛feminine’ traits are not his ‛true’ self in opposition to his feigned masculine behaviour. There is absolutely no contradiction between Dean exhibiting ‛feminine’ traits such as being good with children, cooking, or trying his hardest to fill the role Mary would have filled, and being a masculine man who identifies very strongly with being male.

I do think it’s fascinating, though, and the complexity and depth of Dean as a male character is one of the reasons he is one of my favourite characters. We rarely get to see men who are very manly and also incredibly loving, loyal and paternal and who exhibit a normal range of human behaviours and interests, including ‛masculine’ and ‛feminine’. That’s what normal men are like, something television and film seem to have forgotten.

Regarding Dean in bed, note that he is a stomach sleeper (sleeping on your stomach keeps your tummy safe), and this is consistent throughout all fifteen years of the show. However, this early in the show he takes his trousers, outer shirts and shoes off, in contrast to sleeping fully dressed as he begins doing sometime rather soon. He’s alert and cautious this early in the show, but not yet quite so worn down that he can’t be bothered to get ready for bed.

Note also that both brothers have sleeping problems here. Dean knew Sam was still up at 3am, meaning Dean likely slept for less than three hours, having been woken up by Sam at 5:45.

The end of the episode presents the brothers with something to be hopeful about. John has a new mobile phone number, the first evidence they’ve had so far that he is very probably still alive. It’s not much to go on, and John does not answer Dean and Sam’s call, but it’s something the boys can latch on to and keep them searching for John. Whether or not they should be searching for John is another question altogether, though, but at least it got the plot going in 1x01.,

Phantom Traveler is a strong but flawed episode which builds on last week’s expansion of Dean’s character and role, as well as introducing demons and Hell into the lore. The cut scene where Dean has to remove all his concealed weapons before going into the airport really should have been kept in because it says a lot about his character, as does his sleeping with a blade under his pillow, but other than that, I’m happy to leave this episode now on a positive note.

#Michael's Supernatural Rewatch #SPN Rewatch #spn 1x04 #phantom traveler #sam winchester #john winchester #dean winchester #demons #hell #male gaze #female gaze #christian mythology

9 notes · View notes

cowboylikedean · 3 years

Text

Now that I’ve had time to sit with all of this, my feelings are.... complicated.

The thing is... I was finished. I was done. I watched seasons 11-14 out of respect for my past, my history, my time, my life. I was watching season 15 out of respect for the show. To see it out to the end, to give it the opportunity and respect to be finished. But I was already done.

And then they did one of the three (3) things that could bring me back.

And I feel so... manipulated?

I kinda feel like Buffy in season 6 talking about coming back from heaven. “I was finished, complete. And I was happy. But I was torn out of there, ripped out... by my friends.”

Because I was happy. I was happy in that I had made peace. I knew that I loved the original seasons 1-5 arc, that my favorite season was 7, that season 8 was when I started to really not enjoy myself, that season 9 is when I lost all ability to enjoy the show, that I only watched season 10 for the 200th and the nostalgia presented in that episode was fun, but it carried me for two or three weeks and then.... I let go. I had made peace with never getting that back. I was never going to watch this show and have fun again, unless I was rewatching 1-7, and that was okay. I didn’t need to enjoy it. I didn’t need anything. The writers were terrible and I knew that but it was okay. I didn’t have to trust them or have faith in them or generally give a shit because they were bad writers phoning it in for a pay check and that’s fine... If you can, you can I guess. I mean it’s bullshit but like I was okay.

But now.... Now I care again. Now I need and want something from them. Now I’m worried about the fact that I don’t trust them and I think they’re all shitty writers phoning it in for a paycheck because now I care about what happens.

And I’m pissed.

Because out of those three things, they chose the ONE that I resent the most.

Those three things are (1) They kill Sam. This is clearly my favorite, and if they were gonna do one I wish they’d done this especially if it was at Dean’s hands. He’d never have a happy ending after killing Sam, but I would. (2) They kill Dean. This would have been a cut and dry “let’s go kill someone” charge. I would have had my appropriate moment of outrage and disgust. I’d be seeing Sam-stans and Cas-stans write their long metas about how “it’s actually a perfect ending for Dean” and see destiel wannabes write their mourning fics like it was cute and be justified in every spec of anger I’ve ever felt.

But they chose (3) Destiel goes canon. I get no satisfaction from this... But I do get my sense of nostalgia played upon. I get used for views with nothing in return. Well... Maybe that’s not accurate, I get something, but it’s not...

I stopped shipping destiel 2 seasons before I finished watching. Season 8 was the last time I shipped it in any serious fashion. I sat through the wild and incredible queerbaiting that was Jeremy Carver’s run of the show.... and honestly for what?! I was here in the hiatus between seasons 7 and 8, leading up to what we, the fandom, called “season gr8″ which it was only named because of queerbaiting. And I fell for it. I drank the koolaid every single week in season 8. I wrote metas and posts, my fb memories are filled with posts insisting that “this would be the week.”

“It’s not queerbaiting if they make it canon,” I’d say. “It’s a slow burn, a long build. A will-they-won’t-they.” I felt like my fellow fans who were getting increasingly more aggressive with the cast and crew had just “lost faith.” that if they saw the big picture, that Dean and Cas were an epic love story that didn’t need immediate payoff, they could enjoy all the little moments we were getting without demanding more.

By the time I left the show, I no longer expected they’d make it canon... but more importantly, neither did I want them to. By that time, Dean had been put through the ringer being the emotional support for every character, the punching bag, the background to everyone else’s stories because no other actor could pull the emotion Jensen could. Dean had everything he had despite the other characters’ stories and emotions. He was seen by the fandom and most of the writing staff as a filler, an extension. He was one half of a relationship - romantic or not - not his own person. He was “the dumb one” and characterized in really stupid ways. You can see it as recently as 15x16 when a writer who has written one other episode of the show and clearly never actually watched the show especially the flashback episodes. Dean was a caricature, not a character. And Cas... Cas was written with increasing amounts of fanservice too. He went from a powerful being trying to learn to balance his sense of angelic responsibility with love of the Earth to being a whiny crybaby who was generally helpless to circumstance. He was written in such a way where he both leaned on Dean to give him purpose and validation while also completely ignoring everything about Dean that made Dean Dean.

As the seasons have gone on, this has gotten more apparent. I think what happened with Mary and Dean kicking Cas out the bunker earlier this season (which was also written by Robert Berens btw and if it’s true he wrote the confession scene first in the season - he wrote this scene after that one) is a perfect example. Dean’s criticism there is that Cas doesn’t trust him. When shit is hitting the fan, Cas expects Dean to react in the worst possible way he could, so he refrains for telling Dean vital information and asking for help while he looks for a solution by himself so Dean never has to know there’s even a problem. Then something goes wrong and Cas is always left there saying he’s sorry, that he shouldn’t have done that... But he never seems to learn, or trust Dean enough to do something different next time. And that time, the lack of trust killed Dean’s mom. The narrative and the fandom both treated Dean as irrational and overly emotional - the bad guy - in that situation. Dean shouldn’t have done that.

But like what the fuck should he have done??? I’d have killed him. Or cut him out for good... like for good for good. How toxic is it to have someone in your life who repeatedly ruins your life by not trusting you with a problem that could be dealt with collectively, but not alone?

And we’re going to what... retcon all of that? By bringing destiel into this, all the reasons I haven’t shipped it and I’ve considered Cas to be one of the most insidious abusers in this show are what? What am I supposed to do with them?

It’s no fucking wonder the script says Dean can’t reciprocate! Because how could he? How can they really justify Dean expressing his frustration at being manipulated and lied to for 11 years at the beginning of the season and expressing undying romantic love at the end of the season?

But this isn’t about narrative sense. It’s about an ending. The whole season is about endings... and writings... and god and death to the author... The metas flying around about “god” and “the writers” are all spot on... And so, it doesn’t matter. The message is the story is what we make it, not what they do. And therefore, they call upon destiel as the greatest example of the fandom finding a story within the story that wasn’t being told.

Except that’s not true. Because it has been being told, just not with any intention of payoff. It’s been queerbaited and intentionally so. “It’s not queerbaiting if they make it canon” is a lie. It is still queerbaiting if they never intended to make it canon! And it’s not okay.

But here I am, two episodes to go and then that’s it. There are no other opportunities for them to make canon honor that unspoken promise to the viewers. This is it. And endings do matter. Despite the message of the season being generally that endings aren’t important. That the story, the push and pull, the free will of the characters to run away with the story and bring the writers and audience to new places, the interaction between audience and story and the life they run away with, that those are the important parts of stories and storytelling... But that just isn’t true. It’s a romantic notion that endings are just silly things we tack on our stories that confine us, that the real stories are within us... but we consume these stories for the payoff of the ending. An unsatisfactory ending can completely ruin a work; just ask HIMYM.

So then this is my last chance... My last chance to feel the release of payoff of a relationship I was intentionally inspired to care about without an intention of payoff. This is my last chance of vindication for all that emotional time and energy spent.

So I’m hopeful and I’m transported back to 2012 and 2013 when I cared. When I believed. When every week felt like a possibility. When it felt like it could really happen. And most importantly, when I wanted it to. Because I do want it to now. I have actively not wanted it to for 6 years, but now is my last chance and it very well might happen so now... I want it..

And the way they did it... With giving Cas his moment, but leaving it open for interpretation... IT’S SO CALLBACK QUEERBAIT. AND callback toxic Cas. Cas lays this on Dean and then yeets off? And tells Dean that it’s because Cas loves him that he’s going? Every single part of Dean’s emotional history and trauma makes that evil, but Cas does it to him? And I’m hoping he’s not mad for the sake of the payoff of the relationship?!?!?!??!?!

Are you fucking kidding me?

And then also I wanna circle back to the queerbait of it all. Misha acknowledged today that there’s some room for interpretation here. And I don’t know how that gets resolved in the final two episodes, if it does... BUT THAT’S THE FUCKING POINT!!! I will be watching live, as it airs, for the first time in 7 years, one week before I intended mind you, because I’m being baited with the promise and hope of explicit payoff that doesn’t leave room for interpretation???? And that’s not queerbaiting???

The whole thing is ridiculous and manipulative and just generally awful, but I’m eating it up because I don’t really have the luxury of another choice. Because hoping for payoff is the best option I’ve got.

I hope I get to justify my past self and see all of that payoff and feel that vindication for the part of me that loved destiel, but I consider destiel to be the number 1 thing that ruined the show for me. So it will be a hollow victory, for sure. And that’s if there’s even a victory, which isn’t a guarantee.

I just feel so used right now.

#long post #destiel #spn #personal #i'm really sorry for the length of this #i just had to get it out

18 notes · View notes

halfincubus · 3 years

Text

got tagged by @riosgoodgirll for this game like [checks notes] almost two weeks ago, sorry it’s super late but it got long because I ramble about ladies I like

rules: list 10 different female faves from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people

under cut, because it really did get long

1. Farscape – Aeryn Sun Where do I start with her? She is everything. She’s one of the earliest examples that I can remember seeing on tv of a strong female character that has trouble connecting to her emotions, while the male counterpart of her pairing is the one who wanted to talk about his feelings. She’s also a tough soldier for a dodgy race of militant space-humans (but not really humans) whose sole purpose in life is to fight and die, and through her relationship with her fellow shipmates, learns that there’s more to life than following orders and killing people. I just love her more than words can say. She definitely broke the mould.

2. True Blood – Jessica God, she’s so sweet. I love her character growth. She goes from this god-fearing teen girl, to spoilt, angry goth baby vamp, to total sweetheart with a serious vicious streak when it comes to protecting those she loves. Also she’s more beautiful than I have words for and I am so gay. Like, I could look at her for hours, wow what a face.

3. Buffy the vampire slayer – Buffy The OG strong female lead, the first of many in my life. Also one half of my first foray into enemies to lovers shipping – you never forget your first, as they say! I love her cheery wisecracks as she kicks vampire ass, the way she mimes staking, and her bouncy shampoo-commercial-hair

4. Harry Potter – Hermione I saw so much of myself in her when I was a young, frizzy-haired bookworm that I immediately identified with her, hard, and she’s left a permanent mark on my heart. I only liked her more as the series went on and more of her ‘flaws’ were layered onto her character, which really brought her to life in my mind. I say ‘flaws’ because I fucking love how vindictive she is and how much of a flaw is being intelligent enough to find dirt on people that you can blackmail them with, really? Especially if they’re sucky people. When she doesn’t like someone she absolutely destroys them, mad respect.

5. Penny Dreadful – Vanessa Ives I have a type, and she is it. Dark, brooding and with otherworldly good looks (I still remember Eva Green as the witch Serafina Pekkala the best) I still can’t recall her character without getting a pang in my chest. The show’s ending DID HER SO DIRTY but we won’t get into that, I’m just gonna talk about why she’s my fave, I promise. She is so mentally strong and yet simultaneously so fragile at the same time, I want to take care of her so bad. The Devil with a capital D has been trying to possess her all her life, and she is in constant mental battle against him, and she just never stopped trying (until the stupid finale but we aren’t talking about that!) and she’s so strong, I adore her. When she does a tarot card spread you can’t look away, her gaze is so piercing and haunting.

6. LOTR – Éowyn This is another one that got a strong hold of me in my formative years and shook me to my core. From the moment I read the ICONIC ‘what do you fear my lady?’ speech I was a fan for life. I strongly identified with her attitude to life (I, too, fear growing old and useless) and her totally boss moment against the Witch-King (more like BITCH king) made her my hero. Whenever I rewatch LOTR I have a stupid sappy expression on my face when she’s on screen.

7. The Walking Dead – Michonne Back when I watched this show, and when she graced our screens for the first time I was shaking with excitement. She had such an iconic look – the dreads, the bandana, the katana slung over her back. Her strong & silent archetype was something I was very into, and enjoyed watching. She just oozes cool. The only one on the show with the skills to use something other than a gun on a daily basis, so her kills were not only skillful but super stylish too! Oh and I really liked the vibe she had with Andrea – they should totally have been gfs but network tv are cowards

8. Killing Eve – Villanelle the inherent eroticism of a woman who is trying to kill you. I find assassins sexy, always have, don’t judge me. I really enjoy the fine line Jodie Comer straddles playing her as a sociopath with feelings that can get hurt. Also the chemissssstry with Eve is *chefs kiss*

9. Lirael – Lirael She spends her entire life up until early young adulthood feeling out of place and wondering why she doesn’t belong, and I just want to hug her. She is so lonely that she teaches herself a spell to MAKE HER OWN DOG (which is 100% relatable tbh) and then she and the dog strike out on their own adventure, which is super cute and heart warming to me. She’s so shy and withdrawn at first but then she really grows into herself with time, and teaches herself to be more confident in her own abilities, despite the fact that these don’t necessarily match up with the powers she has dreamed of her whole life.

10. GLOW – the whole cast Ok so it’s cheating a bit but how can you choose one favourite woman from that whole cast? Everyone is amazing and has their own strengths and character flaws, their own little quirks… it’s such good writing, real shame the show was cancelled (another ‘rona casualty)

and I’ll tag anyone who sees this and wants to do this because I can’t think of 10 whole people lol

2 notes · View notes

takaraphoenix · 4 years

Text

Buffy: Season 2

I took a slight break from my BtVS rewatch because some new seasons to shows dropped that I didn’t want to put off until after I finish the rewatch. But now I’m back on it and I just finished season 2!

1. Favorite character of this season?

Cordelia! She has come so far already since the airheaded, self-centered cheerleader, to see her integrate into the Scoobies, her relationship with Xander but also the way her dynamic with Buffy and Willow changes is amazing.

2. Outstanding minor character (positive or negative)?

Oz. Considering he is in less than half the episodes this season, I would count him as a minor character at this point. And I just love Oz so much, he is such a sweet, gentle weirdo. Him becoming a werewolf, getting put in the know, his relationship with Willow. He's so adorable and fun.

3. Favorite character dynamic?

The Angelus-Spike-Drusilla dynamic is amazing. For one, I love Spike/Drusilla so much but I also truly love the way their dynamic flips this season. Season 1 was all about Spike taking care of Drusilla during her time of need, season 2 is all about Drusilla taking care of Spike.

Only that this season also adds Angelus into the mix and it is so fascinating to watch. I love the bickering between Angelus and Spike, I love the love-triangle they have going on. Seeing Angelus as just this pure raw bad guy and the contrast to Angel, as well as getting to experience this dynamic of ¾ of the Fang Gang is so great.

4. Favorite canon romantic ship?

Tough choice this season, because there are both Xander/Cordelia as well as Oz/Willow, which are both two of my favorite ships. Xander and Cordy are one of the very few straight couples where the bantering and bitching actually works for me, I love the growth they shared together.

And yes, as a lesbian, I am loving lesbian!Willow very, very much, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the Oz/Will in the time-period it happens, not to mention... I can really make that work, even with lesbian!Willow, because Oz is literally the safest guy to fall for, honestly. First he is the most cliche guy to fall for because guitarist in a band, but then we get to know him and he is just so kind and accepting and soft and sweet. If you're a lesbian in deep denial about your own sexuality yet, that's the kind of guy you can easily pick to look straight.

5. Least favorite canon romantic ship?

Mh... tough one this time. I love Spike/Drusilla, Oz/Willow and Xander/Cordelia and I don't dislike the Giles/Jenny either, it works while it works. If I'd have to go least favorite, which doesn't mean dislike, it'd then be Giles/Jenny. Mainly because of the lying. Everything could have been avoided if Jenny had been upfront about this after learning who Giles and Buffy really were. Because then the rules would have been clear too – no sex for Angel – and thus... this entire season could have been avoided. Instead, she kept her heritage and reason for being there to herself, no one made the rules clear so they could be broken and chaos could ensue, breaking Giles' heart in the process. Also... not a fan of the fridging, though unsure if it'd really count as fridging because while her death was used for the sake of Giles' man-pain, that wasn't the reason for her death – she did die for valid reasons. Like, the bad guy killing the one person who gets close to stopping their plans? Makes sense.

6. Favorite episode?

It's a tie between two two-parters, actually. If that is too much cheating, I would take the conclusions of each two-parter and say those tie. But it remains a tie.

The two-parter episodes 09 and 10 “What's My Line?”. Kendra! Seeing those two slayers team up. The personal contemplation Buffy has to consider about her possible future, or lack thereof. Also really loving Drusilla/Spike as villains.

And the finale, episodes 21 and 22, “Becoming”. It was such a good conclusion of everything this season had been working toward. Yes, I am still very salty about Kendra's death and I hate that she only returned just to be killed off, but the rest of it and the conclusion where Angel's soul had been restored but Buffy still needed to sacrifice him and it just breaks your heart.

7. Least favorite episode?

Harder, because there were three duds in this season for me. Episode 5 “Reptile Boy”, because just... college boys preying on high school girls to sacrifice them to a reptile demon...? Really?

Episode 12 “Bad Eggs” was just... bland. There's always a bland one, one so boring that I kind of forget about it. Season one's was “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date” and this season it's this.

And the third in the set was episode 20 “Go Fish” which is just so weird and also cringey in a way, because the coach sacrificing Buffy to become the fish monsters' sex-toy was... yikes? And the body-horror of skin splitting open and fish-people emerging from them? Just, everything about this episode aside from the Xander/Cordelia was real bad.

8. Favorite Monster Of The Week?

Harder, because this season didn't have a lot of those, actually. Most episodes came with obstacles that the vamp trio put into their ways. I guess Ethan Rayne? I loved how he brought another layer to Giles' story and character, I also generally love the Halloween episode.

9. Least favorite Monster Of The Week?

When “sudden child-death” was turned into a German monster in episode 18 “Killed by Death” and Buffy literally got to fight Death in a hospital? That was just... strange. Like, even with the episodes I disliked, the villains were kinda “meh” or at least reasonable, but this one was off.

10. Rate the overarching villain!

Amazing. Honestly, I truly love Angelus and the contrast this paints considering we have seen kind, loving, good Angel in season 1. Also, major props to David for his acting. Angel and Angelus are so distinctively different yet still share enough characteristics because they are the same character. I also love the moral dilemma this puts Buffy in, to go up against her former lover.

Bonus: Other thoughts?

It was already annoying last season that they just... don't tell Joyce the truth, but this season, it becomes simply ridiculous. If Buffy's secret was something she would be guarding close to her heart, yes, okay – but between Giles, Willow, Xander, Cordelia, Oz and Jenny, she honestly just tells it to everyone who is even remotely close to her.

And last season, Darla already went into the house and seriously injured Joyce, could have easily killed her. A thing that would have been avoidable if they had looped Joyce in and she'd know not to invite strangers she never saw before into her house. For me, that episode will forever be the one where they should have told Joyce. But now we're one more season and many more dangers in.

And there really isn't any valid reason not to tell Joyce, because we tell literally everyone else.

Sure, she then learns the truth in the finale, but not because she is being told, rather because she witnesses the dusting and Buffy's hand is forced, which just sucks.

Aside from the Joyce-thing, I really did enjoy this season, there were a lot of episodes I really liked, even beyond the four that tied for my favorites – honorable mentions go to Oz becoming a werewolf in “Phases”, naturally “Halloween”, Giles-centric content in “The Dark Age”.

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #Phoe Watching Buffy #Phoe's Random Show Rants

8 notes · View notes

fangirlxwritesx67 · 5 years

Text

A One Night Offer

Tags: 18+, smut, sex, consensual rough sex, oral sex (man receiving), oral sex (woman receiving),light spanking, slapping, condom, consent, one night stand

A/N- this was my first reader insert fic. Let me know what you think- too much fluff? Too much smut? Too long??

You really weren't in the mood to go out to a bar on Friday night. It had been a long week and all you really wanted was to go home, change into comfy pajamas, and binge watch TV. You were part way thru your annual fall rewatch of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the spin-off, Angel. Sure, they were a little dated and more than a little cheesy, but you loved them anyway. There was something so exciting about a world of vampires, monsters, and hunters- so different from your boring life here in Anytown, USA. It didn't hurt that there were some beautiful people on the show- kick ass women and tall, broad shouldered dudes in leather jackets. You were a sucker for that smouldering sexy look- not that there were any men like that around here.

But your girl friends really really wanted to go out so you agreed. One drink, then you'd leave.

When you and the girls got to the bar, it was already packed with the usual after work crowd- office type folks getting a start on the weekend. You and the girls grabbed a table and ordered a round.

Your drinks were taking a long time to get here, and you glanced idly towards the bar. There, a leather jacket caught your eye. Some biker type had clearly stumbled into the wrong bar. But his shoulders did look fit and broad, and his hair was short, golden brown, and nicely tousled. He turned his face to look at someone and you caught a look at his profile. It certainly wasn't what you expected- Leather Jacket Guy was cute! He was young, maybe just a few years older than you. He had high cheekbones, a nice nose. Dark golden stubble covered his strong jaw but didn't hide his pouty lips. You wrenched your gaze away but found them wandering back to his face. As if he could feel you looking, Leather Jacket Guy turned and met your eyes. My god, he had the most beautiful candy apple green eyes that you had ever seen. Your mouth may have dropped just a little. His lips turned up in a sexy smirk. You felt a hot flush rise in your cheeks and you quickly looked away.

Your friends ordered another round of drinks before heading to the bathroom while they waited. You stayed to save the table. When you looked up, Leather Jacket Guy was standing next to the table.

"Hi" he said, "my name is Dean." Wow, he was tall. He leaned down so you could hear him.

"Beautiful, how about I buy you a drink?" You shook your head, pointing to your still half-full glass. He moved his mouth closer to your ear. "Can I offer you anything else?" You laughed and shook your head. "All right," Dean nodded, stepping away. It was flattering to think that you had caught his eye. But you really weren't the kind of girl who went home with guys from bars.

After a little while you stood up to go. After all, there were TV shows and pajama pants waiting at home. You couldn't help glancing at the bar once more. Dean had turned to face you, leaning back against the bar, arms crossed in front of him, casual and confident. He looked straight at you and lifted both his eyebrows just slightly. Gosh, that was sexy. After a long moment you nodded and turned to walk out the door.

He was right behind you as you stepped thru the door onto the sidewalk, both blinking a little in the setting winter sunlight.

"Change your mind about that drink?" he asked.

"No, but you can have my number."

He sighed and shook his head. "Baby, I'm just passing through. This is a one-night offer. "

You laughed. "What exactly are you offering me for one night?" He leaned in close and whispered in your ear, "Whatever you want, baby." You slipped your arms around his waist and looked up at him

"Whatever I want?"

"Whatever you want." He bent down, pausing just a moment with his mouth just inches from yours.

"Yes," you whispered, and then he kissed you. His lips felt good and you leaned in to kiss him harder. After several long moments, he straightened up.

"Well," he said, "That was nice. Enjoy the rest of your evening." You put one hand on his arm, feeling his bicep flex thru the leather jacket.

"Oh," he said a teasing gleam flashing in his green eyes, "is that not all you wanted?" You pulled him back to you and said, "Maybe I'd like just a little more." Dean grabbed your hand and pulled you around to the side of the bar where the parking lot faced a less busy street. He led you to a beautiful classic black muscle car, "This is the Impala" he stated simply. Then he pushed you up against it and kissed you hard, slipping his tongue into your mouth. He brushed his hips against yours lightly, and then ground against you harder. You could feel his erection thru his jeans.

"Yes," you sighed, throwing your arms around his neck and digging your fingers into his golden brown messy hair. He slid his hands down to your waist and slipped one against the bare skin of your hips. You pulled his hair lightly, he sighed and gripped you harder. "Let's go somewhere else," you murmured. "Somewhere more private."

"Whatever you want," Dean replied, "thats the offer. I have a room at the Sunset Strip."

"Serial Killer Strip?" You pulled back suddenly "What are you doing there?"

"I told you I was only in town for one night. I travel for work. I'm a regional specialist in customized security enforcement solutions."

You shook your head. Whatever that meant. "Come back to my place. I don't have bedbugs."

He drove his car and you drove yours. Once you got back to your apartment, walking in from the parking lot, you kept your distance in case the neighbors were watching. But your fingers brushed against each other and you felt electricity spark between you. Dean was one step behind you going up the stairs.

"Nice ass," he said, giving you a playful smack. Once inside your apartment, you paused, suddenly nervous. You had never done anything like this before.

"Do you, do you want some water?" you stammered.

"Sure," Dean replied. You opened the refrigerator and took out two bottles of water handing, one to him. He cracked the bottle open and took a long drink, then ran his tongue suggestively around the mouth of the water bottle. You felt yourself blush and you giggled. It was silly but it was so sexy.

Without breaking eye contact, Dean set down the water bottle and walked over to you and pinned your shoulders to the wall. Leaning in close he asked, "See something you like?" You leaned in to kiss him but he pulled away. Then he grabbed your wrists and pinned them to the wall above your head with his left hand. He leaned close again and this time he kissed you, slipping his tongue into your mouth. As your tongues tangled together, his right hand cupped the back of your neck, pressing you in close. Then his fingers tangled in your hair and he pulled your head back. His kisses trailed down your chin and your throat to the top of your breasts.

Dean released your wrists for a minute so you could take off your shirt, then he reached behind you and unclaspped your bra. As you flung your bra to this side, Dean pinned you to the wall again. This time he kissed your breast, licking and sucking your nipples as you sighed appreciatively. He grazed his teeth against your skin and then- bit you.

"Oh!" you cried, but you liked it. Turning his attention to your other breast, Dean bit you again but this time as he did he yanked your hair too. A shudder ran through you. Dean paused and looked you straight in the eye with a wicked smile.

"So you like it rough? He growled.

"Just a little," you whispered hoarsely.

Grabbing your hand, Dean pulled you into the living room and pushed you onto the couch. He paused for a moment when he saw your Buffy box set.

"So you like hunters, huh?" The wicked, sexy smirk returned.

He pulled off his shirt and then your pants. Not bothering to remove your panties, he pressed his hand between your legs hard. You ground down against him and moaned. Leaning over you, he pushed your panties aside and stroked you softly and then- suddenly jammed two fingers up inside you. You gasped and arched your back - he grabbed your hair to keep your neck taut. As he pleasured you, stroking and pumping you with his fingers, Dean steadily pulled your hair. Your breath broke into short, hard gasps. Dean twisted his hand and yanked your hair suddenly. You cried out as you felt your orgasm build, and just as you did, Dean untangled his fingers from your hair and smacked you across the face. You came hard, an incredible climax that left your whole body tingling with a mixture of pain and pleasure.

Dean pulled you to your feet but your knees were still weak and you leaned against him. You thought he was going to kiss you but instead he said, "Show me your bedroom."

You grabbed his hand and let him down the short hall. He smacked your ass again, this time much harder, pushing you forward onto the bed. You turned around to watch as Dean unbuckled his belt and then slowly pulled it out of his pants, all the while staring at you with smoldering green eyes. Taking the leather in both hands he snapped it just once. Your mouth dropped open and you made a sound somewhere between a gasp and a moan. Dean grinned wickedly and came over to you on the bed. Cupping your face in his hand he leaned in close and growled

"Don't" -kiss-

"make" -kiss-

"another" -kiss-

"sound-" and he bit your lower lip. You gasped into his mouth and nodded.

Without breaking eye contact, Dean laid his leather belt softly over your shoulder and then pulled it gently over your skin, the tip trailing down between your breasts. You shivered with anticipation. Hunger flashed in his green eyes. Flicking his wrist, he snapped the end of the belt against your shoulder. He turned his wrist the other way and snapped it under your collarbone. The muscles in his arm flexed as he drew back a little and curled the belt around your waist, the tip hitting your back. You shuddered.

Dean leaned close and kissed you along your collar bone where the skin had risen, red and hot. This felt so bad- but so, so good. He ran his tongue over the welt and you couldn't hold in a sigh. You expected him to kiss you again, but instead he flipped you over, face down on the bed. He flicked his belt again, hitting you exactly where he had hit your hip before.

How did he have such perfect control? you wondered, had he done this much- then every thought flew out of your head as a searing pain cut all the way across your back, from shoulder to hip. You buried your face in the bed to muffle your moan. You felt Dean tracing a line of kisses all the way down your spine. He cupped your ass in his hands, before spanking you with the belt. He kissed the dimples above your ass, and then spanked you again, harder. The line between pleasure and pain blurred completely as he continued to touch and hit and kiss you.

Dean ground against you from behind. He was hard, and you were so wet and ready. He flicked the belt so it hit you right at the top of your thigh, and you could not contain yourself any more.

"Please, Dean, please!" You cried.

Dean bent over you to put his mouth right by your ear.

"Please Dean what?" he growled, and then bit your shoulder right where it met your neck. You felt the weight of his body on top of you and his erection pressed against you.

"Please Dean fuck me," you begged, "please."

Dean stood up and flipped you over.

"Condom?" he asked. You nodded and pointed to your bedside table. He turned away for a moment, and you slid to the middle of the bed. When he turned around, he was naked except for a condom. God his body was amazing, all tan and fit. His arms were especially well muscled. And his cock- wow. Wow!

Dean's amazing green eyes met yours. His gaze was so hot. His face was so handsome.

"Tell me again," he said with a smirk, "tell me what you want."

"Dean," you pleaded, "please, I want you inside me. Please fuck me. I want you."

Dean got on the bed and leaned over you. Your hips rose to meet his but he paused for just a moment. "Whatever you want, baby" he murmured. Without breaking eye contact, he plunged deep inside you. You closed your eyes because it felt too good.

Dean reached up and stroke your cheek. "Look at me baby," he said. You did, and he smirked just a little, that sexy smirk that had gotten you from the minute you locked eyes with him at the bar. You felt desire rise as he began to move, deep deep inside you. You reached around him and grabbed his ass to press him closer. Wow, his ass was muscular and round and perfect.

You felt wave after wave of pleasure as Dean fucked you hard for an impossibly long time with his enormous cock. Your back, still tender from your rough foreplay, sank deep into the sheets under his weight. Every single feeling was so intense, and soon you felt yourself building up to another orgasm.

"Oh, oh, oh-" you panted.

"Look at me," commanded Dean. He smacked you once, playfully, across the face. Your gaze locked on his, and his eyes blazed with lust and power. For a long moment, everything seemed to stand absolutely still and then you came, screaming his name. Dean sighed, a long throaty sigh, and gave into his own climax. His face crumpled, and for just a minute you felt like you knew every single thing about him. Finally with a low moan, he rolled off of you.

For a few moments, you both lay still, your hearts beating fast together. After a moment, Dean sat up and reached for his clothes. You put a hand on his arm.

"No," you begged "can't you stay?"

"If it's what you want," Dean replied, with a softer, gentler smile. You drifted off to sleep with his arm around you. Your back was still tender, pressed against his warm broad chest.

When you woke up, sunlight was streaming through the windows and you were the only person in bed. You rolled over and sighed as you felt every bruise and ache from the night before. You remembered, then, what you had thought was a dream - Dean leaning over you with a kiss, whispering, "Goodbye, beautiful."

You turned your head and on the pillow next to you was a note.

"If only for a night,

what a night it was.

Kisses,

Dean"

#supernatural fanfiction #dean x reader #dom!dean #a one night offer #fangirlxwritesx67 #supernaturalsmut

118 notes · View notes

thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 5 years

Note

Can we have the tea on why firefly getting cancelled was a good call tho?

My confidence on this website grows in direct proportion to my follower count, and thus the opinions I post get steadily more controversial. I actually got a mostly-positive response to my pro-Twilight post, so [glances around nervously] [dons fake beard] here it is:

IMHO, the producers were right to meddle in Firefly after its pilot, and they were right to cancel it after 12 episodes.

I enjoy Firefly. I’ve rewatched “Safe” and “Out of Gas” over a dozen times, I had a Serenity poster on my wall in college, and I’ve got Mal’s quote about statues as an epigraph in my current NaNoWriMo project. However.

First: they were right to kill the pilot. (And I don’t mean Wash.)

The biggest problem with the first first episode, in a nutshell, is Mal. He’s a potentially intriguing character, but he’s not likable, he’s not competent, and he’s not entertaining. No antihero has to be all three, but every antihero has to be at least one, right off the bat. A couple examples of antiheroes that got whole shows:

Dexter Morgan (Dexter) is a literal serial killer, so definitely not likable, but the pilot showcases that he’s terrifyingly competent with cellophane and also has an entertaining interior monologue.

Greg House (House MD) is questionably competent, and not that likable, but he’s highly entertaining because he immediately makes us laugh.

Jed Bartlett (West Wing) is largely incompetent at social matters, and he’s not funny at first, but he’s immediately charismatic and likable.

Frank Castle (Punisher) isn’t classically entertaining, and he’s not likable, but he’s shown as highly competent from minute one.

Malcolm Reynolds isn’t funny at first. He responds to insults by punching Simon in the face or throwing Jayne out of the room, barely tolerates Zoe’s fond teasing, and doesn’t joke around much. Malcolm Reynolds isn’t likable at first. He acts openly contemptuous toward Book’s and Inara’s chosen professions, seriously considers killing Simon for trying to protect River, loots corpses, and ignores Kaylee. Malcolm Reynolds isn’t competent at first. He fails twice to find a fence for the protein blocks, fails to detect either Simon’s or Dobson’s lies, gets himself and his first mate shot in a bad deal, and barely escapes with his life. He tells Simon that any day where he manages to keep his ship in the air counts as a success.

I don’t want to watch an entire show about this guy after seeing just the pilot, and I sympathize with anyone who feels the same way. The only moment in 120 minutes of screentime that intrigues me is the smash cut between Mal announcing to Simon that Kaylee died and Mal roaring with laughter with the rest of his crew over a prank well-pulled. It’s competent, funny, likable, and enough to make me want to tolerate this guy long enough to see what he’s going to do next. I don’t blame the producers for demanding that we see Simon-pranking guy more, Simon-punching guy less.

The other tone or setting inconsistencies in the pilot — the characters riding horses when they’ve got a faster-than-light ship, the dirt and platinum constructions, the Chinese vendors offering street meat made out of dog, the heroic depiction of the vainglorious Confederate Browncoat cause, the crew all being fluent in Mandarin but not having a single Asian character in the whole cast* — make it hard to get a sense of what the show is meant to be. The different elements just don’t make sense together.

Contrast that with “The Train Job,” the second first episode. There are undeniably Western and sci-fi elements, but they actually make sense together: instead of characters inexplicably swapping land speeders for horses, there’s a spaceship swooping low over a bullet train. Crow uses frontier weaponry, but it’s an intimidation tactic, and he does own a blaster. The Asian-influenced elements make a lot more sense, appearing mostly as background details that hint at a melding of cultures. Mal is warm and affectionate with his crew, willing to joke around to entertain the audience, and at least 43% less misogynistic toward Inara. Niska plays an important role in plot and character, setting up the possibility that we haven’t heard the last of this plot and also acting as a foil to the Serenity crew, who might kill the occasional unarmed prisoner but at least do their best not to poison entire towns.

Is “The Train Job” as unique an episode as “Serenity”? Nope. Does it do a better job at getting someone who’s never heard of this show before to want to tune in next week? I think so.

And then the cancellation.

Obviously, we’ll never know if people would’ve kept on turning in, because the series got less than a single season. And I think that was the right call, from the producers’ point of view. Firefly as a show might not have had the budgetary demands that, say, Game of Thrones did, but even an amateur like me can take one look at that series and go “damn, that looks expensive.”

There are NINE (9!) main characters, with series-regular salaries.

CGI was a lot more expensive and time-consuming in 2002, and literally every episode includes some exterior footage of the ship.

Every single episode involves the characters, or at least the cameras, leaving the ship and going to different phantasmagorical settings.

Even “Out of Gas” and “Objects in Space” had to take the time and money to build the junkyard and Jubal Early’s ship, respectively.

“Trash,” “Serenity,” “Jaynestown,” “The Message,” and “Heart of Gold” each introduces (and requires a build for) an entirely new fake planet.

Every single episode involves minor characters, and over half of them involve crowd scenes that require hundreds of extras.

Horses. And cows. Cost money. As Wash says, shoulda gone with the counterfeit beagles.

The Serenity set itself was built to scale. That’d save money in the long term, but in the short term required more camerawork to actually film in partially-enclosed locations. When you add in the fact that the on-planet shots always required dollies, cranes, and similar equipment, it adds up.

On a similar note, “the Firefly shot” (as it became known) requires days of planning followed by hours of shooting to include all of the characters in one single extremely long camera pan (almost five minutes long, the second time it happens). As a stylistic choice, it was a pricey one.

If Firefly had been spectacularly successful right from the start, it might have been able to justify its enormous budget. The fact that it was modestly successful didn’t justify the amount of money it was sucking from other projects. Over 90% of shows that make it as far as network deals never even get a pilot; over 90% of shows that go so far as shooting a pilot never make it past that first episode. The network decided to spread the love (and the budget) around, rather than sinking it all into a single project currently taking the place of maybe a dozen other potential shows.

Not only that, but Firefly didn’t have a ton of options for cutting its budget down. It could use fewer camera tricks, but that wouldn’t change the need for CGI just to convey the basic premise of the show. It could cut a character or two, but the cast would still be unusually large. It could have fewer on-planet scenes, but there’s only so much one can do with the characters if they’re cooped up inside their ship the whole time. Firefly was also leeching resources away from that team’s two other enormously successful projects – Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel — and the low ratings of Buffy’s season 6 and Angel’s late season 3 into season 4 reflect that fact. If it’d been allowed to continue, Firefly ran the risk of killing both those golden geese without ever getting to the point of producing eggs itself.

Do I wish there was more of the show out there? Yes. Do I wish the show had had time to evolve, hopefully into something with fewer problems of casual racism? Hell yes. Would I have pulled the plug as well, if I’d been in the room when it happened? Probably yes.

*I am aware of the theory that, given the heavily Asian-influenced settings in the “Safe” flashbacks, the popularity of “Tam” as a Chinese last name, the choice of dark-haired light-skinned actors, and specific elements of the family’s pressure to excel but conform, that the Tams are meant to be Chinese. Given that all four actors are white, and that there are already ample problems with anti-Chinese racism in this show, I strongly prefer not to ascribe to that theory.

#firefly #serenity #nothing to do with animorphs #firefly negativity #serenity negativity #joss whedon #whedon negativity #long post #anonymous #asks

95 notes · View notes

sleepyandwitchy · 5 years

Text

hey so it’s valentine’s day and i would like to announce like @j0hnmulaney is the actual best

‘why do you think that’ you ask? well first, i don’t just think it, i know. but secondly here is a list of reasons why:

they are the literal kindest person you will ever meet. such a fucking softie. they made me an entire breakup playlist after only knowing me for two weeks! how lovely is that??

one time they let me watch them ramble for two hours on instagram live about tv shows and musicals they liked where i discovered they might be the most insightful person ever?

they indulge my buffy ramblings despite not really knowing what i’m going on about half the time, and is even now rewatching it with me

i have never known anyone to be so unashamedly passionate about les mis as they are and it warms my heart

one time sent me this message:

has the CUTEST smile know to man kind

not only has an entire folder dedicated to love memes, but also make their own!

bring so much joy to everyone who they meet. and i have proof of this too! here are some actual messages from their friends’

‘Hi! I hope you have a really great Valentines Day. I just want you to know I appreciate you so much. You’re so kind and smart and you’ve always been here for me. Thank you for being such a great person in general. I hope you have the best day today. Love ya to the moon!!’ - grace

‘Hey Soy, I hppe you have a lovely Valentine’s Day, and be reminded of how heart warming, beautiful, kind, clever and amazing you are as a person. You deserve ALL the happiness and heart memes in the world and heaven. When u look at your little rainbow light remember that’s how u look and feel to us. Love you more than Cheryl loves Toni’ - issey

‘You deserve all the love the universe could possibly give you because you’re always trying to give back and be the kindest version of yourself. You buy people drinks when they’re thirsty and are always there when others are sad. You’re an amazing friend’ - bas

i love you with all my heart, darling 💛💛 happy valentines

#soy #soft on main #long post

14 notes · View notes

myassbrokethefall · 6 years

Note

Do you have any favorite scifi shows? Or any recommendations?

Well! This is a fun ask. Let me see…

So, I really like sci-fi, but sometimes I also don’t like sci-fi. I overdosed a little bit on spaceship stuff after my years of Star Trek obsession and then BSG (and like, I hear The Expanse is great but I just…haven’t been in the mood), and these days my favorite sci-fi is talky, high-concept atmospheric mystery stuff in a fairly realistic world where something is a little bit weird. What I really DON’T like is violence/shooting/chasing/action, and a lot of sci-fi, unfortunately, is that. (Westworld, I am looking at your ass.) I also am a LITTLE bit over sci-fi as sledgehammery social parable, again a la Star Trek. Even though I’ll always love Star Trek (and will get around to watching Discovery one of these days).

Some sci-fi TV that I’ve enjoyed recently includes:

(hey surprise, this got very long! so it’s under a cut)

Dark. There’s just one season of this on Netflix right now, but I LOVVVVVED it. Talk about atmospheric. It made me want to move to Germany and live in a forest where it rains all the time. It’s in German – this isn’t a bother to me because I like subtitles, but it’s available dubbed as well if you prefer that. It takes place in a small town and starts with a missing child, and it quickly becomes clear that something strange is going on. Time travel is an element. A central part of it becomes about the way all the characters in the town are interconnected and how the events of the past affect the future. It’s part Lost, part Stranger Things, part Back to the Future.

The Returned/Les Revenants. So there’s an American show called The Returned as well, and this is not that one – the one I’m talking about is in French (sorry…I swear some ones without subtitles are coming) and was on uh, IFC or something like that. One day in a(n extremely attractive and cinematic) French town in the mountains, a girl comes home from a class field trip…except she died on that field trip years ago, in a bus accident, and her family is completely shocked and freaked out. The same thing is happening all across town. Includes one (1) very creepy child. Very spooky and also super atmospheric. (One reason I loved Dark so much was that aesthetically it reminded me of Les Revenants.)

The 4400. I binged this show and had a window of time in my life where I was super obsessed with it. Premise is similar to The Returned, actually: A bunch of people (4,400 of them to be precise) who were believed to be the victims of alien abductions – across many years – are returned to earth all at the same time, all at the age they left. So you have a man who was taken in the 1950s (Mahershala Ali!) and a little girl from the 1930s, etc., all dropped back into modern-day America – and most of them (all of them? I forget) have mysterious powers of various kinds. Two police detectives (am I predictable or what) investigate. Things escalate from there. It is a little XF-y in a way I appreciate, while also being totally different (and much less arty than something like Les Revenants).

Stranger Things. I might as well list it…everyone knows about this show but it really is pretty great. Season 1 especially. Huge ET vibes, creepy/Spielbergy, not a cop-out where it’s all a metaphor or something (pet peeve).

Fringe. This isn’t so recent (well, neither is The 4400), but if you like sci-fi and you haven’t watched it, you should! It starts out being a liiiiiiittle bit of a less-hooky ripoff of XF (a group of FBI folks, including a retired mad scientist basically, investigate paranormal cases), but after a few episodes it finds its groove and it becomes its own weird and wonderful thing. It was a show I really enjoyed and it ended satisfyingly. John Noble as Walter Bishop is fantastic, and one thing I really loved about it was that it was not afraid to make things happen and shake up the premise if needed.

Jessica Jones. I really, really am not into Marvel or any of the superhero stuff, but I like this show a lot. It puts the idea of having “powers” in a very grounded kind of gritty, cynical, noir-y setting and I enjoy that. It’s also woman-focused, which is nice, and it’s just different from other stuff on TV. I dig it.

Orphan Black. Man, I loved Orphan Black. What a fun show, and – not necessarily the most important thing to me in a show, but hugely refreshing nonetheless – it’s also very woman-centered. The premise is that a woman named Sarah sees someone who looks exactly like her – right before the doppelganger throws herself in front of a train. And in unraveling the mystery, Sarah learns that she’s a clone and she has a bunch of “sisters.” Tatiana Maslany is FREAKING AMAZINGGGGG as all the various clones. It is definitely sci-fi, but it’s also a lot of fun and just a fast-moving, action-packed (but not in a way that makes my eyes glaze over) cool-ass show.

Grimm. Grimm was a pretty silly network-y show, but my affection for it really never waned (though it also never really went too far above “mild”). Premise: Basically, that fairytale monsters (broadly speaking) are real and walk among us (disguised for the most part), and there are these people called Grimms who can see them and are supposed to fight them. Lots of ancient documents, old books, mysterious keys, etc. This one dude who is a police detective in Portland (it was shot in Portland and is basically the second Portland-iest show after Portlandia, as far as I can tell) finds out that he’s a Grimm, and he meets this guy who is one of these monsters but also a delightfully civilized clock nerd who becomes his friend and helps him learn about this hidden world, and it’s pretty much monster-of-the-week episodes every week (though there is a mytharc of sorts involving an evil cabal of European royalty or something, snore). I think it’s the people who did Angel (which I never watched; I’m not a Buffy person). It also started the same year as Once Upon a Time, so it was the “other” fairytale show.

The Leftovers. Technically, it’s sci-fi. It’s also just very imaginative storytelling, and is a good example of what I mean by high-concept and atmospheric and something being a little bit weird in an otherwise contemporary setting. (This is a post-Lost Damon Lindelof, and Damon Lindelof has learned from his Lost mistakes, with wonderful results.) The central premise is a sci-fi one (2% of the earth’s population mysteriously vanishes), but aside from that there are also just a lot of kind of fantastic imaginative leaps and surreal settings and…ah, The Leftovers. My standard intro/warning: Season 1, while really good, is VERY depressing; Season 2 becomes marginally less depressing while also changing things up considerably and in my opinion becoming much better; Season 3 is even better than that. Love you, show.

Lost. I suppose I should mention it even though it’s another obvious one. I have rarely been hooked as hard as I was by the pilot of this show. It doesn’t necessarily deliver on everything it promises, and it’s interesting to think of it in terms of it being one of the first shows to, basically, cancel itself – to choose to end so that it could pace its story effectively and lead to a deliberate ending instead of just vamping forever and trying to keep sucking the audience in for one more season until that stopped working and it was canceled. However, before that happened there was some time-killing, and I think that maybe contributes to people’s perception that it didn’t know what it was doing half the time. A divisive ending that I did not have a problem with. If you watch it in the spirit of being taken on a ride and enjoying the feelings that the twists and turns give you in the moment, you’ll find it more satisfying than if you’re trying to solve every mystery and trying to make it all work out perfectly with every loose end tied up.

The OA. This was a weird-ass motherfucking show on Netflix and I still don’t know what the fuck it was about. I feel like I dreamed it. It maybe involves angels? And stuff.

Carnivale. Lord, talk about atmosphere. This was an HBO show several years ago now about a creepy traveling circus in the 1930s. Being on HBO, it’s very violent and dirty and twisted and stuff. I was obsessed with it, and loved watching it although I vaguely remember the ending being not super satisfying? I should rewatch it, really, because I have forgotten a lot about it beyond impressions (it started in 2003). It’s not that sci-fi, but it has kind of mysterious portents and shit like that all over the place. Anytime I see anything remotely carnival-y I’m like AAAHHH CARNIVALE

Westworld. Sigh…I’m having a lot of trouble connecting to the season of Westworld that’s currently airing (Season 2, on HBO). I loved Season 1. My opinion is that they blew their premise too quickly and now they have nowhere to go – it’s just been violent chaos of the sort that puts me to sleep. Literally – one episode a couple of weeks ago I tried to watch and fell asleep during TWICE – two evenings in a row – before I finally got through it on Day 3. Because it was just a bunch of shooting. But the premise is cool – in the undetermined nearish future, there is a giant elaborate theme park where extremely realistic robots interact with the superrich guests who pay to come and basically be super destructive and violent (this show doesn’t have a particularly high opinion of humanity) in an Old West-themed setting. Like Disney World if your dream was to fuck and murder everyone in the Hall of Presidents. It’s made by one of the Nolans so there are lots of twists and also you don’t know what the hell is going on half the time. But there are some high-budget groovy sci-fi set pieces in it, and if you like amazing piano covers of popular songs (sometimes but not always in the in-show context of the player piano in the saloon), that is a fantastic bonus (the music is terrific overall). ROBOTS.

Battlestar Galactica. Speaking of robots. I loved the hell out of this show, although I have my issues with it. I felt when I first saw it (this is the 2000s remake I’m talking about, not the 1970s original) that it was like Star Trek had grown up. It gets more and more high-concept the longer it goes on, and some people weren’t fans of where it ended up (I, again, was fine with it), but it starts out with a hell of a premise: Cylons (humanlike robots originally created by humanity, which then evolved) destroy almost all of the human race except for a few stragglers in a few scattered ships, who have to pull together and somehow survive. Great acting, great writing, big themes, Laura Roslin.

Black Mirror. This is an anthology series, meaning each one is a short story basically, with different characters, a different near-future setting, and a different premise (often having to do with technology going wrong. In the words of Mallory Ortberg: What If Phones, But Too Much?) Some of them are better than others but if you can take some upsetting conceptual stuff, it’s really a super interesting show. Your bingeing tolerance may vary, but I personally could not handle more than a couple of episodes a night.

Roswell. Holy shit I was so into this fucking teen soap opera about aliens. Also not recent. They might do a remake of this I heard?? MAX + LIZ 4EVA

Millennium. Yes…Chris Carter’s Other Show. I’ve said this before, but in a weird way I feel like this show is…CC’s best work???? Without the chemistry supernova of Mulder and Scully dimming everything around it, the “scary stories” he’s always talking about actually have room to be kind of interesting. It also works with his inclination to do what is essentially an anthology series loosely connected via recurring characters that are almost more narrators/observers than participants. In XF, this makes me want to break things when it results in stagnated character growth and no continuity and endless reset-button-pushing. In Millennium, Frank wandering grimly through the show universe encountering fable after fable (grimmer than XF – less on the stretchy mutants and fat-sucking vampires and lake monsters and Reticulans and spooky green bugs; more serial killers and cults and angels and apocalyptic stuff) actually worked pretty darn well for me. It’s not that the characters aren’t good, but they are VERYYYYY archetypal (kind of like how M&S could have been if not given such aliveness and humanity by David and Gillian, and Morgan and Wong and Vince Gilligan at that). Frank Black is the tormented detective, he has a beautiful kind wife and an innocent young daughter and they live in a beatific yellow house and he has to keep them safe from the evils out in the darkness. You might say this is hammered home a lot. But: the kind of mythic tone of it is a much better fit here than on XF. Lance Henriksen is perfect as Frank, and some of the stories are really absorbing and emotional. I cried during WAY more Millennium episodes (I can think of three or four off the top of my head that I remember WEEPING openly over, one of which stars Darren McGavin) than I ever have at XF.

Everything changes in Season 2 when Morgan and Wong take over as (I believe) showrunners – things lighten up considerably versus S1; there’s even a Darin episode! With Jose Chung! And the Spotnitz Sanitarium! – and then everything changes again in S3 when they leave. The show does suffer from a lack of cohesion in that sense, and frankly the “mytharc” parts never did a lot for me (loosely, the world is going to end in the year 2000 and a cabal of mysterious dudes something something). But there is a lot of cool shit in this show. There really is. Every few years I attempt a rewatch and never finish; I should try again. In late fall, which is the only time Millennium should be watched.

BONUS

Face Off. This isn’t sci-fi per se (it’s a reality competition show, on Syfy), but if you’re a sci-fi person you might love it. The way I describe it to people is very simple: It’s the exact same premise and structure as Project Runway, except instead of fashion, it’s FX makeup. The best thing about it is that everyone is NICE and HELPFUL to each other. It’s a bunch of creative nerds making monsters together and the competition element is there but no one is a dick and there’s no fighting and drama. Michael Westmore, who did the makeup on Star Trek: TNG among many other acclaimed projects, is the mentor (and the dad of the show’s host, McKenzie Westmore), and he pops in to give dad advice to all these starstruck dorks. The new season just started and it’s just a fun show. I have, at times, thought of it as my FAVORITE show on TV.

Well, that was probably more than you wanted, anon! I feel like I’m missing some, too. TV! I like it.

#scifi #this is very long #hit me up with your faves!#how did it get to be 12:30? i might reblog this tomorrow since no one is awake lol #ask: can you recommend any scifi shows?#me: transcribes every thought i have ever had about any scifi show in my entire life #i feel like these answers are all super basic oh well #Anonymous

8 notes · View notes

phandomsecretvalentines · 6 years

Text

Love; not wrong (brave)

Happy valentines day 💞💞 i hope u have a great day, where ever you are and whatever you do.

This is litteraly just 4k words of fluffy stuff (although phil’s lowkey drunk in one of the prompts, nothing happens other than him ranting about how perfect dan is, but if you dont like that stuff its the 14th. Theres also a few loose mentions of depression and feelings of anxiety but nothing dan and phil dont say themselves. Also swearing bcuz dan. Happy endings thoo, i mean its just oneshots lmao). I hope you like it tho it was v fun to write. All the prompts are from @inlovesuggest (i got their permisson).

(Also the numbers at the begining of some of them like “[10]” are what year it takes place in, if i think its important to include. If thats not there it can take place whenever makes sense but probably 2017/18)

Yeahhh hope you enjoy! @dan-matian (from @butterscotchwithwhitemalteasers)

(I’ll stop overexplaining now) ———- ———- ❝ i have a feeling im gonna love you for a long long time ❞ ———- [09] ———- It was the day after when Phil realised he might be in love.

After the anticipation, after the endless butterflies, after the sunset Skybar dates.

They were lying on Phil’s family sofa together, rewatching episodes of Buffy in comfortable silence. Dan’s head was laying on Phil’s chest as Phil ran his fingers through Dan’s hair, it was curling at the tips now.

Dan started giggling at some cheesy joke, and hid his smile in his hands. His red patch flared up, his dimples grew, eyes crinkled. He did have a pretty laugh.

Phil titled his head and gave Dan a look.

“I’m not laughing! Shut up.” Dan’s face turned red-rose as he pushed it inside Phil’s shirt.

Phil couldn’t help the huge grin that spread across his face.

“You were. But I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“You’re kinda cute,”

“Oh.”

Dan’s face got even more rosy, if that was possible.

“And I think I might love you.” ———- ❝ The sound of your voice makes me realize everything is ok, as long as I’m by your side. ❞ ———- [16] ———- Even after years of doing tours and books, Phil still felt nervous on stage.

Thousands of people watching him live, expecting, hoping.

He knew they loved him, but that didn’t console the pit in his stomach whenever he was about to step on.

What did help, however, was Dan.

Dan being there. His slightly posh voice, his half-confident-half-slacking posture. His arm, brushing against Phil’s, as he rushed off to go do something; or just so they could touch for a brief moment.

It was almost time to head on. Phil could hear the audience and the pre-show music Dan set, he could feel the anticipation in the air.

Unlike Dan, Phil was a shy kid. He didn’t do drama, he didn’t preform. This wasn’t him.

Dan’s fingers loosely touched against Phil’s arm, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“We go on in five.”

Phil smiled nervously.

“Okay.”

“We’ll be fine.”

As long as they’re together. ———- ❝ when it works out, love is incredible. it’s not overrated; there’s a reason for all the songs ❞ ———- [16] ———- Before the past years, Dan had never cared for love songs.

It’s not that he thought they were bad, or that he wouldn’t listen to them, he just found them rather unrelatable and boring. How many times does one have to listen to someone sing about the touch of another person?

But then he fell in love.

Truly, truly fell in love. Not teenage romance, not a Saturday night hookup, not an unrequited crush. True, mutual, comfortable love.

And he found himself relating to the songs he found so boring.

Suddenly, every overplayed radio song was about Phil.

Every ‘his lips tasted like candy’ was about the specific sweet-sour wine of Phil’s lips on a loud Friday night and a calm Wednesday morning.

Every 'I could spend forever with you’ was not an over exaggeration, but rather, true.

Why wouldn’t he spend forever with Phil? It just made sense.

Every love song made sense.

He had girlfriends before, and a boyfriend too. But Phil was the first one to ever make him realise why people wished to be in love. ———- ❝ when i say “i love you” it’s not out of habit, it’s to remind you that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me ❞ ———- Compared to other people, maybe Dan and Phil didn’t say 'I love you’ much.

They decided, after a while, they’d rather show it.

So maybe Phil wouldn’t always say 'I love you’ before bed, but he would cook dinner more days a week than Dan.

He would take care of Dan when Dan couldn’t take care of himself. Phil would always cover anything for Dan, because he knew sometimes he needed it, even if he didn’t say.

He would make sure Dan got home safe, even when he only went out for milk. He’d even go out and get milk for Dan, if he was feeling far too overwhelmed to leave home that day.

And yeah, Dan might not always whisper 'I love you’ during early morning breakfasts, but he would take care of Phil when he was feeling poorly.

He would do more editing for the gaming channel, and he cleaned up the house far more. He tried to do most of their paperwork, because it often stressed Phil.

He would put his cereal in the same place every time, even when Phil always stole it.

But sometimes they would say I love you.

Sometimes, they would wake up and breathe it into each other’s ear.

Sometimes, they would make dinner and hum, in a tone, “I lovvveeee youuuuuuuu,” while putting it on the table.

Sometimes, they would sneak up behind each other while they edited, and scream it so loud that the other jumped off the sofa.

Sometimes, Phil would whisper it to Dan when Dan was too depressed to care.

Sometimes, Dan would mutter it to Phil when he was already far past asleep.

But they both always knew. ———- ❝ those knowing looks you give me from across the room are enough to make me want to stay in this place ❞ ———- Dan hated business meetings.

He hated going outside, he hated going into a building full of near-strangers, he hated talking to said strangers, he hated trying to understand complicated business concepts at far-too-early o'clock.

He wanted to leave.

Phil insisted, always, that he could go alone. It would be fine. Dan didn’t need to be there, and he didn’t mind.

Dan never took him up on the offer, he wasn’t that selfish.

So there he was, a Monday afternoon, looking out the window and bored out of his mind. He felt like he was in secondary school again; complicated concepts, boring statistics, and an unfocused mind. What was even so much better as an adult?

Dan felt Phil nudge his knee with a foot.

“You okay?” He whispered.

Right. That’s what was better. He had Phil.

“Yeah, just bored.”

“Me too, but there’s only fourty minutes left. You’ll be fine.”

Not for the first time, Dan admired Phil’s sensibility to always bring a watch to meetings.

They had both agreed that checking your phone looked quite rude, but checking a £3 Hello Kitty watch was a lot more subtle.

“Thanks.”

Phil gave Dan a small smile from across the table, and suddenly, maybe business meetings with Phil weren’t the worst place he could be. ———- ❝ we were dancing like idiots in the parking lot to our favourite bands people were staring but your dumb smile was enough to make me not care. ❞ ———- [10] ———- //“Change, Everything you are And everything you were”//

Dan never thought he would be the one slow-dancing in a parking lot at one in the morning, but apparently love mixed with sleepless nights is a hell of a drug.

//“Your number has been called Fights, battles have begun Revenge will surely come Your hard times are ahead”//

'Butterflies and Hurricanes’ played in the background, music surrounding them. It wasn’t a favourite Muse song for either of them, but it was perfect for the night.

Phil wasn’t the best dancer, Dan could admit. But neither was he, really. And it didn’t matter. They were together.

//“Best, You’ve got to be the best You’ve got to change the world”//

People were watching them, judging, or just confused. He was sure.

But when he looked up and saw Phil’s tired smile, and felt a soft kiss press his lips, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

And so they danced, a Saturday night, in a parking lot, to a Muse song.

//“And you use this chance to be heard Your time is now”//

And Dan had never felt so content. ———- ❝ maybe i could become a morning person if my mornings started next to you ❞ ———- [11] ———- It was no secret that Phil wasn’t a morning person.

Usually, he needed at least two cups of coffee and a bowl of cereal before you could even think about talking to him.

However, when he woke up with a sleeping Dan next to him, he found it hard to feel annoyed.

Dan was wrapped all around Phil, hand clutching his shirt tightly, their legs intertwined. His mouth was slightly opened, and although he didn’t snore, Phil could hear his soft breath.

He looked so young sometimes.

Dan started to open his eyes, having felt Phil’s body move.

“Mhmm?”

“Dan, I can’t reach my phone.”

Dan’s face scrunched up in distaste, “Don’t need it. 'Have me.”

Dan pulled Phil tightly into a half-hug, pinning him back down under the blankets.

He nuzzled his head into Phil’s neck, closing his eyes as his breathing steadied out again.

Maybe Phil didn’t actually mind mornings that much. ———- ❝ your laugh reminds me of all the good in the world ❞ ———- [15] ———- Dan had always loved Phil’s laugh.

From old videos, to Skype, to in person, to on the sofa next to him at three in the afternoon.

They were playing Mario Cart 8, and Dan wasn’t having the best luck. Despite being arguably worse, Phil had won every round so far, or at least gotten ahead of Dan.

Dan had managed to fling himself off the track entirely— for the fifteenth time that day— and Phil was laughing so hard Dan worried he might burst.

Dan’s favourite laugh of Phil’s.

His tounge-through-teeth laugh, where he tried to cover it with his hands but always gave in, ending up with smile lines and blushed cheeks.

Dan couldn’t stop staring. He had caused that.

He knew it was just a game of Mario Cart, that he made Phil laugh an endless amount of times, but occasionally it just hit him.

Not to romanticize, but Dan swore Phil’s laugh sounded like actual angels. It sounded like young children playing while their parents looked on; like every good thing to ever have existed, all at once. It reminded him of what happiness felt like.

“You okay Dan?”

Dan hadn’t realised how long he’d been staring for.

“Yeah. By the way, I like your laugh. Sounds nice.”

“Odd compliment, but thanks.” ———- ❝ wrapped in your arms, I feel so safe and calm. ❞ ———- Today had been a day.

Paperwork got mixed up, a venue had a miscommunication and lost a row of seats, and Phil’s birthday was in less than a week.

It was a lot for Dan at once, and he was so fucking tired.

“Phil! I need your help looking this over.”

Phil was on the phone, ordering dinner.

'Can it wait?’ He mouthed silently.

Dan shook his head violently. He was just about fed up.

Phil rolled his eyes, and muttered 'Be right back, emergency.’ into his phone.

“Alright, what?”

Dan squeezed his eyes shut tightly, shaking his head.

“I don’t know. Wait— Yes. I do know. It just is a bit blurry, in my head. Since I’m tired. Can you just explain what they said to call them for I’m really tired.”

Phil looked softly at Dan.

“It’s okay to take a break, Dan. It’s late. We can have dinner and go to bed or watch a movie.”

“No, I need this done tonight. You don’t understand. I need it perfect.”

“Not everything needs to be perfect.”

“Yes! Shit, yes. It does—”

Dan was exhausted.

Phil hugged Dan.

Dan eased into Phil’s embrace, hot tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I’m tired,”

“I know.”

“And so stressed.”

Phil kissed Dan’s forehead.

“I know, let’s lie down.”

Phil grabbed his phone, finished ordering their food, and lay on the sofa with Dan.

Dan nudged into Phil’s arms, closing his eyes.

Phil lightly kissed him, and held him closer.

“You can nap for a bit, if you want. The food is fourty minutes away. I’ll be here.”

Dan sighed contently.

“Thank you.” ———- ❝ my hands are cold, would you mind holding them? ❞ ———- [11] ———- “It’s snowing.”

Dan and Phil were sitting on Phil’s balcony, sipping hot coco.

“It is,”

“It’s cold.” Dan smiled innocently at Phil.

“Yes? Do you need mittens? I think I have a pair—”

“Can you hold my hand?”

“Oh-” Phil went bright pink, “Sure, yeah, okay.”

He reached out and tapped his fingers nervously against Dan’s free hand, before interlocking them.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. It is really cold, actually.”

Dan laughed, “Yeah, I know! It actually is snowing out, it wasn’t all a ploy.”

Phil smiled warmly.

“I like holding your hand.”

“We are doing this for warmth and survival only, you dork. But, I like holding your hand too.” ———- ❝ Just the two of us, cuddling at late night. Enjoying the silence, and the presence of each other. I fall asleep in your chest, hearing your heartbeats ❞ ———- It was 2am, they’re watching a Studio Ghibli movie.

Or at least, they were, until the credits rolled and they were too lazy to pick another one.

So now, they were lying on the sofa, listening to the silence and the others heartbeat.

Dan’s head was on Phil’s chest, a grin as he heard Phil’s soft breathing.

Phil was running his fingers through Dan’s curls, twirling each one.

Dan’s eyelids slowly difted closed, and his breathing evened out.

“Goodnight, Danny.” Phil whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Dan smiled within his sleep. ———- ❝ i never want to know what life is like without you again ❞ ———- [17] ———- In more ways than one, Dan and Phil ran on parallel tracks.

Their thoughts, but their actions too. Their daily lives so delicately intertwined.

They would wake up together, one kissing the other or just the sound of an aggressively loud alarm.

They would get dressed, take showers, brush their teeth, fix their hair, in turns. Perfectly in sync. A well oiled machine.

One of them would make breakfast, or they both would. Coffee, tea, cereal. A petty argument about stolen cereal, sometimes, then a slice of toast.

They would watch TV, or an anime, but today they watched Undercover Cops. Phil wanted to spice it up a bit.

After that, they’d sit in the lounge, doing nothing, editing, or any mix of the two.

Eventually, one of them would get hungry, and they would order or cook. Today it was order, burritos from a local mexican place and salads.

After they ate, Dan would take off somewhere else to do something else. Piano, games, or random things around the house. Phil might join him, but not always. This was as much space as they needed.

After that, Dan would return in exercise clothes with yoga mats. Phil would go off to change, and would return. Either yoga or some standard workout, nothing too much, but enough to make Dan okay. Phil never minded it.

After that, they would return to the lounge and relax for a while. Maybe catch up on a show. Other times, they might film a gaming video, or even a main channel video if one was prepared.

Then one would be hungry again, and they would make dinner. Sometimes they ordered, but less and less, since Dan’s therapist recommended healthy home-cooked meals. They decided on Indian food, Tandoori Chicken and Rice, with a Stir-Fry.

After dinner, Dan would go play games, and Phil might too. Or maybe watch a show Dan didn’t care for. Maybe clean up a bit more. Always something, though. Unless it was a nothing day.

Sometime at night, they would get tired. They’d head off to bed, maybe Dan would want to shower again. They would just lay with each other, until the comfort of the other persons presence lulled them both to sleep.

They worked well together, and had done for years. It was hard to remember a time before they were each others lives.

Rarely ever alone. ———- ❝ a concept: holding hands while walking along the beach as the sun sets next to us and we kiss and we kiss and we kiss and mmmaybe kiss ❞ ———- [10] ———- After four hours, Dan and Phil had finally managed to escape from the rest of the group.

Now they were walking down the sandy beach, awkwardly watching the sunset, side by side.

Neither one really knew what they were doing, neither really cared.

The sky had just reached that violet-red-orange ice-creamed mix when Phil intertwined his fingers with Dan’s.

Dan looked up at him, pink cheeks.

They glanced at each other for a second longer, then continued walking.

“You do realise we’re literally doing that romantic-walk-on-the-beach cliché thing?”

“Yeah, but it’s nice.”

“It is,”

Dan looked into Phil’s eyes a moment, then softly pressed their lips together. ———- ❝ i love the way you sound at 3am and how you look when you smile. it’s addicting ❞ ———- [09] ———- It was three in the morning, and Phil had decided that Dan was pretty.

And not the flowy-hair-model pretty, but the timeless one. The one where your features are just— perfect.

Phil couldn’t even think of a proper describing word; although that may be the three glasses of wine he had earlier.

He looked at Dan’s fuzzy image through his laptop, admiring. Dan had been attempting to play piano, but gave up and was just lying on his bed now.

“You’re pretty.” Phil whispered.

Dan blushed. How adorable.

“Thanks?”

“Really. Timelessly beautiful. And sexy, and handsome and hot and gorgeous and every other good word. You’re— Dan. That’s perfect. Dan is a good word.”

Dan grinned wide at Phil’s drunken rambles.

“I–”

“And your voice, it’s just nice. Calming. You think it’s too posh or whatever but it’s not. It’s great Dan. It’s Dan! That’s a good thing. I love it. One day I wanna fall asleep to it and wake up to it and—”

Phil teared up at this. He wanted to be with Dan forever, and he knew it.

“Dan, I,”

Dan was looking a bit confused now.

“Yeah, Phil? Are you okay?”

“You’re pretty, Dan. That’s all. But that’s not all at all.” ———- ❝ being old doesn’t seem too awful when i think about growing old with you ❞ ———- [18] ———- Phil sighed, rolling over in bed.

“I’m thirty-one now.”

Dan smiled, “Yeah?”

“That’s pretty old.”

“Not that old, honestly.” Dan laughed quietly, “You’re barely over your twenties.”

“People my age have families,” Phil stares at the ceiling, unblinking. “They’re married with a house.”

“Kids don’t make you old, Phil. People have kids at sixteen, my mum had me at ninteen for God’s sake. And anyone can buy a house, anyone can get married.”

Phil leaned on his side to look at Dan. “You know what I mean—I could. I haven’t done that much, I’m getting old. I could die tommorow.”

Dan’s turn to sigh.

“You could’ve died yesterday, Philly.” He smiles fondly, “And you have done so, so, much. Really. You’ve gone to University, had three homes, have four million fans, gone on tour—there’s more to life than just domestic stuff. And if you want domestic stuff, we can do that too. Forever home, dog, eventually marriage and kids.”

“I know,”

“What’s the issue?”

“I dunno. I just don’t wanna die. I don’t want to be old, really. I don’t know.”

Dan glanced at him.

“You’re gonna be old. We’ll be old together. Like the great poet Ed Sheeran once said, 'I’ll be loving you 'till we’re seventy,’”

Phil giggles, “Maybe you’re right. It’ll be fun with you. You make things fun.”

“Yup. I’ll always love you, even when you have grey hair that you still dye black, and wrinkles, and smell like bad cologne.”

“Always.” ———- ❝ when it works out, love is incredible. it’s not overrated; there’s a reason for all the songs ❞ ———- [16] ———- Before the past years, Dan had never cared for love songs.

But then he fell in love.

Truly, truly fell in love. Not teenage romance, not a Saturday night hookup, not an unrequited crush. True, mutual, comfortable love.

And he found himself relating to the songs he found so boring.

Suddenly, every overplayed radio song was about Phil.

Every 'his lips tasted like candy’ was about the specific sweet-sour wine of Phil’s lips on a loud Friday night and a calm Wednesday morning.

Every 'I could spend forever with you’ was not an over exaggeration, but rather, true.

Why wouldn’t he spend forever with Phil? It just made sense.

Every love song made sense.

He had girlfriends before, and a boyfriend too. But Phil was the first one to ever make him realise why people wished to be in love. ———- ❝ How dare you make me smile so hard that my face hurts when you’re so far away? ❞ ———- “Well this feels like déjà vu.”

Dan was sitting on their bed, laptop opened to Skype, smiling at Phil.

Phil was at his parent’s house, sitting on a guest bed, smiling back.

“You’re right. I have too many memories of nights like these.” Phil laughs half-heartedly.

“I probably would’ve just come with you, if I didn’t have a video to film.”

“I know. And remember to send me the file when you’re done so I can watch over it.”

“Yes, Dad.” Dan rolled his eyes fondly.

“It’s your regret, Daniel.”

Dan sighed, “I miss you.”

Phil smiled back, sadly, “I miss you too. But it’s only a few days, don’t worry. Just edit.”

“I remember a lot of nights back then, saying how one day we would never have to Skype again, yet here we are.”

“Stop being melodramatic Dan, it’s only a weekend for my mum’s birthday. We’ll live.”

“Will we? Because I swear I’m dddddyyyinnngggg!” Dan flopped down on the bed, pretending to faint, and they both fall into a fit of giggles.

“Noooo Danny! Don’t go into the light!”

“It’s too late… I can—see God… she’s coming for me…”

“Dannnnnnn! Nooo!” Phil put his hand over his heart and sobbed dramatically.

“God is Ribena Phil, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

They both burst into uncontrollable laughter at this, tears streaming down Dan’s face, struggling to catch their breath.

“Oh my god, Dan!”

“Oh my—Oh my Ribena, you mean!—”

They both gasped for air, Dan’s cheeks hurt from smiling so hard.

“Of course, how dare I!?”

Once the laughter had settled down and they were both softly smiling again, Dan sighed.

“I still wish you weren’t so far. I want to be with you.”

Phil smirked, “Don’t you mean 'I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone’?”

“Shut up! Why do you even remember that?” Dan blushed and hid his face in a pillow.

Old feelings, old love. ———- ❝ in your kiss, I felt at peace ❞ ———- [09] ———- Butterflies.

Dan looks at Phil, Phil looks at Dan.

Dan tilts his head to the side.

His head is beating fast, but his heart is beating faster.

Phil is beautiful.

Now or never.

Butterflies.

Two lips, just two lips.

Soft. Phil’s lips are very soft. And sweet like honey.

Butterflies and honey.

A winning combination for your butterflies to get all sticky and trapped, and for you to feel brave.

Honey is sweet, like Phil’s lips.

Phil’s lips are better than honey.

This isn’t Dan’s first kiss, but it might as well be. This feels more important.

Honey.

Butterflies.

Honey is sweet.

Phil’s lips are sweeter.

“Thank you.” ———-

#submission

8 notes · View notes

wishiwasmorticia · 7 years

Text

Spike and pet names

Bear with me - this is one of those times where I’ve noticed something, I think it’s significant, but I can’t really articulate why yet, so this is part of my process of playing with an idea. Anyone’s free to jump in at any point. A few weeks ago, I started another rewatch of Buffy, and as I was in bed all weekend trying to die quietly, I actually finished Season 3 of Buffy, watched half of season 4, and the first half of season 1 of Angel. Suffice it to say, I’ve seen a lot of Spike/Dru action in a concentrated amount of time, and being a Spuffy fan, I’ve paid close attention to scenes between Spike and Buffy. Certain terms of endearment seem pretty universally applied between the two women - pet and lamb coming immediately to mind. He didn’t seem to use too many with Harmony, mostly I think because she was, as he would say, “a tumble.” One thing I noticed is that he called Dru baby, but never applied that one to Buffy. A tiny thing, but in the back of my head it’s significant. Dru was crazy, but no less able to take care of herself than Buffy, really. So what is the distinction, then? At the time he’s with each of them, he believes each woman to be the love of his life. Is it that he sees Buffy as somehow his equal in a way that Dru is not? Is basic sanity that difference? Granted, they were different kinds of relationships - Spike doted on Dru, and in his head they were a loving and committed couple, where the beginning of him and Buffy was a good bit more toxic, tragic, and covert. Still, as I watched “Something Blue” yesterday, he was laying on the schmoop pretty heavy when Buffy was sitting in his lap...and not once did “baby” come out of his mouth. (Does anyone remember if he calls Harmony baby? I didn’t catch it if he did - maybe when he was sucking up to her so he could come home after escaping the Initiative?) Anyone else notice this? Am I crazy?

#btvs #spuffy #spike buffy #sprusilla #drusilla #shipping #meta #analysis #ctitique

131 notes · View notes

littlemissmeggie · 7 years

Text

a little survey

i was tagged by @harrymababe i think a week and a half ago. thank you!

i’ve finally got some time to do it, so here we go!

Nickname: meg, megs, miss meggie/little miss meggie, megaleg, megapalooza, mugzi/mugz, megatron, pookie, punky

Height: 5'

Last thing I googled: “tumblr xkit one-click reply”

Fave music artist: i can’t possibly pick just one so here’s a list of a few of my favourites: the maccabees, arctic monkeys, vampire weekend, the vaccines, my chemical romance, the beatles, johnny cash, ed sheeran, one direction—and harry and niall, and lady gaga.

Song stuck in my head: from the dining table by harry styles

Last movie i watched: alien

Last tv show i watched: i think it was buffy the vampire slayer. my boyfriend and i are rewatching the series and we’re in the fourth season now.

What are you wearing right now: grey leggings and my oversized gerard way hesitant alien sweatshirt

When did you create your blog: this one, march of 2012

What kind of stuff do I post?: for the last year, this blog has been all one direction with a heavy amount of harry, niall, and narry.

Do you have any other blog: yes. my first blog @littlemissmeggieseviltwin, where i post all of the multi-fandom, multi-interest shit that i used to post here before it became all one direction.

Do you get asks regularly?: they’re not regular, but i do get asks.

Why did you choose your url?: it’s probably my most commonly used nickname after meg.

Gender: female

Hogwarts house: i’ve never done a test or anything but i think gryffindor.

Pokemon team: i know nothing about pokemon so i don’t know.

Fave color: purple, specifically lavender

Average hours of sleep: usually about eight

Lucky number: 13

Fave characters: michael corleone, harry potter, buffy summers, walter white, jesse pinkman, spike, and ron weasley

How many blankets do you sleep with: during the winter, four. in the summer, two.

Dream job: i’d love to run a successful music blog or work as a studio and/or touring musician.

———————————————————————

A - age: 29

B - birthplace: united states

C - current time: 1:01 pm

D - drink you had last: a cup of earl grey tea

E - easiest person to talk to: it used to be my cousin zak but not anymore. i don’t really know who now.

F - favorite song: like asking my favourite musician, i can’t pick a favourite song. so here’s a list of a few of my favourite songs: wall of arms by the maccabees, while my guitar gently weeps by the beatles, famous last words by my chemical romance, bridge over troubled water by simon & garfunkel, walking in the wind by one direction, and sign of the times by harry styles.

G - grossest memory: cutting the side of my pinkie finger with a broken glass so badly that i could see down to the bone. it was really gross and required nine stitches.

H - horror yes or no: yes! always.

I - in love: yes

J - jealous of people: no, not really

K - killed someone: haha. weird question.

L - love at first sight or should i walk past again: i think this question is oddly worded. but no, i don’t believe in love at first sight.

M - middle name: i will not tell anyone this because i hate my middle name.

N - number of siblings: two

O - one wish: that my boss will come back from medical leave soon and everything will be back to normal and i won’t be as frustrated while at work as i have been for the last few months.

P - person I last called: the store where i work

Q - question you’re always asked: “did you do your hair by yourself?” and “are those tattoos on your fingers?” and “how tall are you?”

R - reason to smile: i’ve got the weekend off from work (that never happens!) and it’s nice out so i’ll probably go for a walk and hang out outside.

S - song you last sang: i was just singing from the dining table because it’s stuck in my head. (or is it stuck in my head because i’ve been singing it?)

T - time you woke up: 7:39 am but then i fell back asleep since i don’t have work today and i woke up again at 9:03 am.

U - underwear color: i’m not wearing any at the moment but i have all different colours of underwear.

V - vacation: i’d love to go back to the uk, especially scotland (edinburgh), and ireland (dublin). i’d also really like to go to australia and south africa.

W - worst habit: allowing myself to get angry and upset about things that aren’t worth getting angry or upset about. also, dealing with my annoyance and frustration with coworkers by being passive-aggressive rather than being straightforward and telling them what they’re doing is wrong and they need to do it this way because that’s right.

X - x-rays: probably the last time was after my car accident three years ago, though i don’t remember any of it.

Y - your favorite food: thai and indian

Z - zodiac sign: libra and scorpio. i’m born on the cusp so some horoscopes list me as the last day of libra and others have me as the first day of scorpio. both fit me quite well.

i’m tagging @heauxforhoran, @doubledenimniall, @niallandharrymakemestrong, @midsummervixen, @myaimlessuniverse, @whatsmyageagain75, @squishyharold, and @ahoymate3000.

#meggie talks #fun tag thingy #about me

4 notes · View notes

aububuh · 7 years

Note

All the asks!!!

1. If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? - Assuming this means I would never be tired, I would just feel better in general. I’d probably watch more movies and write more music or something.

2. What is your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned? - My Pipco shirt has done good things for me.

3. What hobby would you pick up if time & money weren't an issue? - I would play like every instrument.

4. What does your perfect room look like? - High ceiling, no standing waves or nodes, world’s greatest audio playback equipment, a wall of guitars, an opposite wall of keyboards, and a drumkit. Oh, and a bed I guess.

5. How often do you play sports? - NEVER

6. What fictional place would you like to visit? - A place I’d be good with just going once would be the Room of Requirement from Harry Potter, just to see the generations worth of crap that people left there. (yes i know it got burned down just pretend it didn’t)

7. What job would you be terrible at? - I mean I quit Whataburger after like a day, so.

8. When was the last time you climbed a tree? - Maybe a few months ago? I’m not sure.

9. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance of winning a medal for? - Staying up too long.

10. What is the most annoying habit that you or other people have? - Maybe that I pick my nose? I don’t get how it’s all that annoying though, and it makes my face feel better.

11. What job do you think you'd be really good at? - Anything where I complete entertainingly challenging tasks and don’t have to talk to strangers.

12. What skill would you like to master? - Microphone placement.

13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? - I want to go to Frank Zappa’s old house and see the studio. It would have been even better a year ago when all his stuff was still in it, but I still want to be in the space.

14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house to live on for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like? - Approximately like Zappa’s house, with a badass studio and comfy areas to just exist.

15. What's your favorite drink? - Water

16. What state or country do you never want to go back to? - I think I was in New Jersey for about half an hour once. Never again.

17. What songs do you have completely memorized? - Most Frank Zappa songs

18. What game or movie universe would you like to live in? - Star Trek, but the TV version.

19. What do you consider to be your best find? - I found the Grim Fandango soundtrack at a thrift store for 25 cents once. It goes on ebay for like $60.

20. Are you usually early or late? - I am early for everything. Sometimes too early. I can’t stand being late.

21. What pets did you have when you were growing up? - A series of fish that all died. The last time I had fish, one of them got hurt, and then the other one ate him.

22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually need help with? - Either my mom needs me to tell her how to do a really simple computer thing, or my friends need me to give advice on relationship troubles or something.

23. What takes up too much of your time? - When I waste time spacing out instead of doing a concrete thing that requires any kind of time investment.

24. What do you wish you knew more about? - Rudy Van Gelder’s recording techniques. Problem is he’s dead and he never told anybody what he did.

25. What would be your first question after waking up from being frozen for 100 years? - “Did The Rage And The Fury ever come out? No? FUCK”

26. What are some small things that make your day better? - I like when my friends send me stuff that made them think of me.

27. Who's your go-to band or artist when you don't know who or what to listen to? - Spirit Phone by Lemon Demon is pretty much my go-to album.

28. What's the best way to start the day? - Sleeping.

29. What TV shows do you like? - Currently airing, pretty much just Steven Universe and Orphan Black. Apart from that, Buffy, Hannibal, and Star Trek: TNG are all favorites.

30. What TV channel doesn't exist but really should? - One that airs things I might want to watch more than a few times every couple months.

31. Who has impressed you most with what they've accomplished? - Frank Zappa, Barack Obama, and the friends of mine who have to deal with their brains yelling at them. All of them are badasses.

32. What age do you wish you could stay at permanently? - Preferably none. I think every year I become a better version of myself, and I don’t want that to stop.

33. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? - If I hear about a thing that’s popular but like super demeaning in some way like Split or whatever, I’ll avoid it forever.

34. What's your ideal way to spend a weekend? - Sleeping late and doing something productive that’s not related to school.

35. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don't think you could live without? - Good audio playback equipment. I can’t stand using headphones for more than like an hour or two at a time, and good speakers sound better anyway.

36. What is your claim to fame? - I posted a thing about Wedge Antilles once.

37. What is something you enjoy doing the old-fashioned way? - I totally prefer recording a whole band in a room to tracking everything individually. I do it myself because I don’t usually have other people to play with, but for other people’s music it’s just more fun when I’m capturing a live performance. It’s how so many classic recordings were done, but it’s so uncommon these days and that kinda bums me out.

38. What's your favorite book or movie genre? - Sci-fi I guess, but I tend to really like stuff that bends genre in amusing ways regardless of the genre it’s bending.

39. How often do you people-watch? - Whenever I feel like I can get away with it.

40. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? - I realized last week that the US Democratic party is what a centrist party should be; everything is just so skewed to the right that they seem liberal by comparison. I wish we had a real liberal party that was able to compete on the national stage, but we’re never going to get away from the two party system until we change a whole lot of shit.

41. What's the best day of the year? - The best day of this year was when I saw Mike Keneally with my buddy Moped. Possibly the best day of my life?

42. What subject interests you that not many people have heard of? - I would say not enough people have heard of Frank Zappa, or at least have checked out enough of his music to have a real opinion on him.

43. How do you relax after a long day of work? - Work for me is usually doing sound for rock bands, typically until pretty late at night, so I just crawl up in bed and read dumb shit online until I drop all the energy I build up from working.

44. What's the best book series or TV series you've ever read or watched? - Hannibal for TV. I need to read the books.

45. Where is the farthest you've ever been from home? - Latvia for 5 months in 2014.

46. What's the most heartwarming thing you've ever seen? - Idk, probably some sappy romance in a show I like. I’m a sucker for that sort of thing.

47. What is the most annoying question people ask you? - This one.

48. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation? - Frank Zappa, or any number of subcategories about him. The evolution of his guitar tone, the influence of his favorite music on his own work, his history of band members, etc.

49. If you were the dictator on a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do? - I’d do REALLY crazy shit like guarantee everyone human rights. Unless they’re nazis. Frankly I have no idea why this is crazy, but some Americans would tell you it is.

50. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? - Listen to Frank Zappa. JK, he’s not for everyone. Everybody should go hear a band they love play live though. There’s nothing like it.

51. Would you rather go hand gliding or whitewater rafting? - HANG GLIDING FUCK YEAH

52. What's your dream car? - A self-driving one.

53. What's worth spending more on to get the best? - Right now I’m researching acoustic treatment so my speakers won’t sound like crap in my bedroom, so I’m gonna go with that.

54. What is something a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don't get? - One night stands tbh. I’m demisexual, so it just sounds awful and gross. I’m glad other people enjoy them though.

55. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years? - Making a living at the thing I do.

56. Where is the most interesting place you've been? - In terms of experiencing culture, Latvia. I’m so glad I got to absorb all that information from talking to people, and it gave me a more direct experience with the after effects of totalitarianism than many Americans *coughtrumpvoterscough* have ever been exposed to.

57. What's something you've been meaning to try but haven't gotten around to it? - Fried ice cream. I’ve been fascinated by the concept since I was a kid.

58. What is the best thing that happened to you last week? - I SAW MIKE KENEALLY AND HUNG OUT WITH MY FRIEND MOPED

59. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind, only to experience it for the first time again? - I honestly get more enjoyment out of media when I’m experiencing it for subsequent times, so none. I love rereading books, rewatching movies, and listening to albums enough times to memorize every note.

60. If all jobs had the same pay rate and hours, what job would you want to have? - The one I have but more often.

61. What amazing thing have you done that no one was around to see? - Released music on the internet. 4 people downloaded my last single.

62. How different was your life 1 year ago? - About the same but harder. College has been getting easier for me since I’ve gotten used to it.

63. What quirks do you have? - My chin is lopsided and my left arm sticks out at an angle. As far as personality quirks, I have about as many as the average person, which is to say too many to list.

64. What would you rate 10/10? - Spirit Phone by Lemon Demon, One Size Fits All by Frank Zappa, and the Rite of Spring by Igor Stravinsky.

65. What fad or trend do you think should come back? - Recording live bands in a room together!

66. What is the most interesting piece of art you've seen? - I’ve seen tons of great art, but today I saw this thing that was like a giant inflatable tent that let sunlight through and turned it into different colors. Check this out.

67. What kind of art do you enjoy most? - I have no idea how to define my taste in art, I just like something or I don’t.

68. What do you hope never changes? - I hope Lemon Demon albums keep coming out. I don’t know how you could top Spirit Phone though.

69. What city would you most like to live in? - Somewhere in California might be fun.

70. What movie title best describes your life? - It Might Get Loud

71. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? - Because I’m good at it and it’s damn fun

72. What's the best way a person can spend their time? - Making themselves happy in a positive way.

73. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make? - A badass guitar. Possibly something like Jerry Garcia’s Wolf with a billion knobs and stuff.

74. Where is the most relaxing place you've ever been? - My bedroom

75. What's the luckiest thing that has ever happened to you? - I SAW MIKE KENEALLY WITH MY BUDDY MOPED AND WE HUNG OUT WITH THE BAND FOR A MINUTE

76. Where would you rather be from? - I’m technically from New York, but I was 3 when I moved so it doesn’t really matter where I’m actually from.

77. What are some things you've had to unlearn? - I mean there’s the obvious ones like racism, sexism, being a dick in general, but also I had some bad audio habits that I’ve had to kick. I always have to force myself to mix my own vocals loud enough on my song, which led into me doing something similar when I first started doing live sound for other people. Audiences like hearing what the singer is saying.

78. What do you look forward to in the next 6 months? - I can’t wait to sleep more this summer. (This is a reoccurring theme in this ask thing isn’t it)

79. What website do you visit most often? - Tumblr is probably the one I spend the most overall time on, but I usually split my time fairly evenly. I look at Facebook a lot, but usually not for more than a few moments at a time. I read a decent amount of Twitter, but I almost never tweet anything. I also like looking at instruments for sale on Craigslist.

80. What one thing do you really want but can't afford? - Probably some guitar or keyboard. Shit, if I could I would have every instrument ever.

81. Where do you usually go when you have free time? - My bedroom.

82. Where would you spend all your time if you could? - My bedroom.

83. What's special about the place you grew up? - I have a really nice bedroom. It’s changed a lot depending on what I use it for at the time, but it’s been the same color since I picked it out when I was 4.

84. What age do you want to live to? - I’m good with whatever life gives me. I could live to 100 but I wouldn’t be too peeved if I died next week.

85. What are you most likely to become famous for? - My dream is to be that producer at the Grammys who called Taylor Swift on the phone from the podium to say their album won. That was the coolest.

86. What are you absolutely determined to do? - Someday I want to do a really awesome orchestral recording. I don’t even care that much what the music is, I just want to do that.

87. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do? - I can make bands of old dudes who are wary of a spunky young sound person like me by making them sound as good as possible.

88. What do you wish you knew more about? - Drum overhead placement.

89. What question would you most like to know the answer to? - How the heck do I get that clean tone that Zappa had in 1988.

90. What question can you ask to find out the most about a person? - “Why did you vote for who you did in 2016?”

91. When was the last time you changed your opinion or belief about something major? - I feel like most opinion changes happen so gradually that they’re hard to notice, so I have no idea.

92. What's the best compliment you've ever received? - I really like when people compare my music to Zappa without knowing that I love him as much as I do.

93. As the only human left on earth, what would you do? - Find the Zappa vault and listen to everything, then die.

94. Who inspires you to be better? - My friends, who are all awesome.

95. What do you want your epitaph to be? - “Eh, good enough I guess”

96. What haven't you grown out of? - Shirts I had when I was like 14, interestingly.

97. In what situation or place would you feel most out of place in? - Any social event with tons of people I don’t know and where I don’t have a friend keeping me company the whole time.

98. What's the dumbest thing you've done that actually turned out pretty well? - I made a tumblr, which has given me multiple good friends.

99. If someone wrote a book on an event in your life, what would the book be about? - Idk, that would be a pretty boring book for anyone who didn’t know me.

100. What's something you will never do again? - Talk to this one asshole.

101. How do you hope you'll change as a person in the future? - I want to like myself more.

102. What keeps you up at night? - Usually the internet. On more fun nights, conversations with friends.

103. What's the most surprising self-realization you've had? - “Oh shit, 14 year old me was a fuckin’ asshole”

104. What is the most illegal thing you've ever done? - nah

105. How do you get in the way of your own success? - I’m not as proactive about looking for work as I probably should be. Same with getting ahead in school. I tend to put in just the work that will get me by in my classes, and I don’t really pursue any extracurricuals or anything.

106. What are you afraid people see when they look at you? - Acne some nerd who talks about stuff they don’t care about

107. What is your biggest regret? - nah

108. What do you look down on people for? - Being children. Not like, I think badly of them for being childish, I mean I have to literally look down at kids because I’m taller than they are.

109. What bridges do you not regret burning? - There’s a couple I should have burned sooner, but one of them I just had no idea who he really was for the longest time.

110. What lie do you tell most often? - “I can sing”

111. What would be your spirit animal? - Isn’t this appropriation or something? I’m not completely clear on this one so somebody let me know.

112. What is the best & worst thing about getting older? - Best is being a smarter, better version of myself. Worst is taxes.

113. What are you most likely very wrong about? - I believe that the US has a fundamental promise of hope.

114. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it? - Idk, designing flags is hard.

115. What's happened that changed your view on the world? - November 2016 made me doubt 113.

116. What is the biggest lesson you've learned? - There are more terrible people in the world than I hoped.

117. What is the most immature thing you do? - I still think fart jokes are more often hilarious than they are bad.

118. What are you famous for among your friends & family? - Existing?

119. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be? - Cheese, then the absence of cheese, then lots of cheese.

120. What one responsibility do you wish you didn't have? - I support the institution of taxation as a necessary part of running a functional government, but I wish I didn’t have to pay 15% as a freelancer.

121. What are 3 things you want to accomplish before you die? - Record an orchestra, Have somebody heard of me by reputation who’s not a friend of a friend or something, and have dinner with Joe Travers.

122. What do you want to tell your 10-year-old self? - “You’re gonna like music more than acting, so you might as well get a head start.”

123. What's the best thing you got from your parents? - I’d like to think I have at least some of my dad’s work ethic. I definitely have his sense of humor.

124. What's the best thing about you? - I’m good at talking with people.

125. What blows your mind? - There are over a hundred Zappa albums.

126. Have you ever saved someone's life? - Not directly

127. What are you really good at but embarrassed to be good at? - Honestly can’t think of anything. Ask me later.

128. What would a mirror opposite of you look like? - Clear skin, bad taste in media, shitty friend, makes a living.

129. What are 3 interesting facts about you? - I’m tired, I should go to bed, and I think this is an absurdly long ask thing.

130. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? - There’s a scar on my finger from the first time I ever used a pocket knife. It was a gift from a friend’s uncle or some such relative, and he freaked out 100x more than I did when I cut myself.

131. What's the title of the current chapter in your life? - “Now we’re getting somewhere I guess”

132. What were some of the biggest turning points in your life? - Doing DI, being politely kicked out of DI because I didn’t realize yet that depression was a thing and it was affecting my work, apprenticing at a venue, probably some other, more pleasant stuff.

133. What's the hardest lesson you've learned? - No matter how far I go at being what I consider a good person, I can always do better.

134. What do people think is weird about you? - I like some really weird music.

135. What mistake do you keep making? - Carrying too much stuff at once. Thankfully I don’t usually drop it though.

136. What have you created that you're most proud of? My Christmas album.

137. What do you doubt? - That I’m good at music.

138. What are some of your morals? - The current president is Bad.

139. What do you want to be remembered for? - Being a good friend and also making cool music.

140. What do you regret not doing in your childhood years? - I never got to go to Legoland back when I would have enjoyed it most. I’d still love to go tbh.

141. What is your favorite fragrance? - Whatever my friends each smell like, because it makes me think of them.

142. What do you think your last words will be? “Well okay”

143. Who or what do you take for granted? - Probably that my parents will always be there if I need them.

144. Why would you be annoying as a roommate? - Loud music all the time.

145. What is something you're insecure about? - My face

146. What's the best & worst piece of advice you've received? - Best is “done is better than perfect”. Worst is “put that pressure zone mic at an angle from the ground.

147. What irrational fears do you have? - If a friend doesn’t text me back I sometimes worry that they’re dead. It’s annoying.

148. What makes a good life? - Doing whatever it is that makes you happy and leaving a good impression on the people in your life.

149. What's the last adventure you went on? - I went to McKinney and SAW MIKE KENEALLY

150. What is the most memorable gift you've received? - My dad gave me a Gibson SG. It’s pretty great.

#ask #mopedarooni

1 note · View note

lizacstuff · 7 years

Note

Hi Liza, I've had bouts of depression over the years and my love for CS has gotten me through many dark times (like my parents passing away on the same night). The thought that we might not have another season saddens me. CS and Jen/Colin bts are what bring me joy. I've never shipped a pairing like I do CS and they've set the bar so high I don't think anyone else will be able to compare. I just don't know how to say goodbye to them. Thanks for being here. I love your blog. You are a gift.

Thank you so much, and let me say how sorry I am for all the heartbreak you’ve experienced.

I’m glad you found solace in Captain Swan. They give me a great deal of joy too. It’s amazing how uplifting and restorative fiction can be.

I’m also sad at the thought of the show ending. However, the end of the show does not mean the end of Captain Swan. Captain Swan and the mass of creative works this fandom has produced will live on forever. We will always have (at least) the 6 seasons of Emma Swan and 5 seasons of Captain Swan to rewatch any time. So many great and beautiful moments to relive. And fandom will always be here. There will always be fan fiction you haven’t read, or want to reread, and I don’t know about you but I never get tired of looking at gifs and photos and art. My blog has over 32k posts on it and the vast majority of those are all Captain Swan related. A couple years down the road, I know I’m going to have a ball going through my tags and reminiscing.

The bar is high with CS. When it comes to shipping, they may never be surpassed. This is the holy grail of ships and has everything anyone could ask for. However there’s still a lot of incredible entertainment out there. New shows and movies and books and characters (and ships) to discover. Here’s a few TV recommendations, old and new: (most with a ship element)

Supergirl - I’m enjoying all the stories and characters in S2, but I love Kara and Mon-El. They are pure joy in ship form. Even when they fight they emit rays of sunshine and light. And when it’s angsty, that just means the explosion of rainbows and puppies in your heart will be even bigger at the end of the episode.

Lucifer - This show is entertaining as hell. Larger-than-life protagonist, nice chemistry between leads, fantastic supporting characters and an intriguing overarching plot.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Makes me grin like an idiot. I love every single character and I laugh out loud. Often.

Pitch - Delightful. The story is amazing and uplifting, but not schmaltzy and Ginny x Mike makes my heart squeeze.

Timeless - Twists, turns, a wonderful OT3 and a different adventure in a different time period every week.

Gilmore Girls - The feel good show to end all feel good shows. If your heart needs to smile, this is the ticket.

Parks and Recreation - If you haven't watched all seven seasons of this, go do it right now! Leslie Knope is the human personification of optimism, the show will make you laugh, and Ben x Leslie are nerds in love (and legitimate relationship goals.)

The West Wing - The home of my first OTP and one of the best television shows ever produced, bar none. I enjoy every regular character and pretty much every single scene is a gem. It’s especially uplifting in today’s political climate.

Sportsnight - Speaking of Aaron Sorkin (the creator of TWW) I bet you’ve never seen his first television series. This is a half-hour comedy, but one of the first single-camera sitcoms without a live audience. Dan, Casey, Dana (Josh Charles, Peter Kraus, Felicity Huffman)... good times. Man, I think it’s time for a rewatch.

Veronica Mars - This one is dark and twisty, but it’s not depressing because Veronica is indomitable and she almost always wins (plus she falls for the Obligatory Psychotic Jackass if that's your thing. It was mine.)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - If you’ve never watched this gem, the time is now. The early season special effects will make you laugh or cringe (look at the puppet monster) but just concentrate on the witty dialogue and hell mouth teen angst.

Chuck - A spy show that is also bright and funny and romantic.

Alias - This show will keep you on the edge of your seat with shocking twists and turns. Plus kickass lady who wears lots of kickass disguises and falls for the cute guy, who also happens to be the only guy she can trust... or can she?

Agent Carter - Nostalgia and a brainy, brawny, brilliant broad. Oh Peggy, I miss you.

Friday Night Lights - Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose. That tells you everything you need to know.

And there’s so many more... For laughs I also recommend 30 Rock, The Office, the first two season of The New Girl, the first three seasons of The Mindy Project, every episode of Friends ever, Will & Grace, Arrested Development, Seinfeld, Life in Pieces, The Nanny (I’m not kidding, this is one of the happiest, funniest shows ever, and totally shipable) so many more...

Thanks for stopping by, I know it’s tough thinking about a favorite show ending, but we’ll always have Captain Swan and there is so much more art out there to discover!

#asklizac #show recommendations #kind shipmates #Anonymous

16 notes · View notes