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#me when I have a 9am

do u guys (fanfic authors only ig) ever just read a fic so good that you lose your mind for a few minutes before thinking “shit I want ppl to feel like that abt my works someday” or am I just really really dramatic abt it??

#i just finished reading a sakuatsu fic and I cried my eyes out it's not even funny#maybe it was bc the author pulled the miya twins card and I'm really emotional with sibling relationships#which was what made me cry abt the whole thing most times tbh (yes i cried more than once I KNOW EMBARASSING ANYWAY)#everything was just so perfectly done like the story the pacing was fantastic the dialogue was by far one of the best ones I've ever read#they handled characterization perfectly to the point i started laughing out loud while reading the bickering between them#and crying a river in the next chapter yes that was a ride esp the last two chapters i don't remember crying like a baby this much over a f#in like..... idk how many years honestly#and then I just look at my works and I'm like shit if OR BETTER WHEN (yes let's be hopeful) i get on that level#I'll just ascend honestly#at the same time it makes me overthink a bit abt my writing and how it isn't the way I like it#idk i guess it motivates me a little skdjdjjd maybe I just like the competition lmao I'm always more thrilled when i set a higher level#like if i want to do that good I better just start working for that shit u know#sometimes i think i write for myself but i really don't think that's a whole truth tbh like the fact I've been wanting to post my jjk for e#I'm someone that really gets into whatever I'm doing (yes I'm dramatic and extra let's not talk abt it)#so like just thinking abt the possibility of someone reading something I did and losing their shit really makes me scream tbh#maybe it's just bc I treasure feelings so f*cking much LMAODNDJDJJ just the thought of someone one day really really enjoying something#like just bc it hits close to home (like the miya twins card i mentioned early lmao) or bc it really is something they like#idk it makes me feel things like my heart legit beats faster thinking in how tf am i supposed to improve so i can make ppl feel good u know#i know fanfic really isn't that deep but like... making ppl feel good while doing something u enjoy like how great is that#im starting to ramble so much omg it's almost 9am that fic really broke me to pieces I'll have to bookmark that tomorrow lmao#yes its 9am yes i didn't sleep yes I'm dramatic asf pls i hope you all can deal with it#bc apparently I'm not leaving anytime soon#im drafting this post so if im brave enough I'll post it tomorrow when i wake up lmao#I'm really just rambling but whatever ty miya twins and sakuatsu ig I'll stalk the author tomorrow ksjdjdjdjd#oh to have a new goals.... just fantastic it feels really great honestly thank u for coming to my ted talk guys#e.txt#dl#edit: i just woke and DAMN IT I really poured my heart here wtf LMAO
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I was on the phone with Apple for two hours to set up my new phone and all that happened was I deleted all the music off my old one and they told me to call back later.

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