#me: FUCK now i gotta go eat some fucking APPLES

[gojo-enthusiast]

Your Birthday (R)

Series: My Husband Toji Zenin

November was a great month in your husbands eyes, 1. The weather cooled down, which meant he would go and watch the boat racing comfortably. 2. The food. And 3. Your birthday. Despite your husband being a rough calloused man, your birthday was very important to him. Showering you with gifts, fancy dinners, sex, the kind of sex YOU like. Your birthday he wouldn’t even think about getting pleasure, just pleasuring you. But you always would insist on him cumming with you, saying that it made you happy.

You woke up later than usual, your eyes heavy, and your body groggy. “Good morning Doll.” Toji said sweetly, handing you your favorite latte from your favorite Cafe down the street. “Oh baby.” You smile. “Food is on its way, Chicken and Waffles.” He smiles, “My faaaavorite.” You emphasize the favorite, stretching your arms out for a hug. Toji engulfed you, swelling your body into his embrace. “Get up, go shower, and by the time you get out, your food should be here.” He kisses your forehead. “Yay okay!” You jump up, already hearing the shower running for you.

You get out the shower, wrapping yourself in a robe. “Toji?” You say out loud, not seeing him in the bedroom. “Satoru, I understand this is a very important account, I have showed them floor 87, at least 4 times now. They either need to sign or move along—“ Toji is saying to Satoru over the phone. “Satoru, it’s my wife’s birthday.” He says back. “I don’t care if it’s going to take an hour, that’s an hour taken from my wife.” Toji spits back, you could see his left fist clenching on the granite. “Why is this not something you can handle?” Toji hisses, “I don’t give a fuck if they want me. Take the damn contract, I don’t want it if it’s going to take away from my time with my fucking wife!” He shouts. “Fuck— I’ll be there in 45 minuets. You owe me.” Toji spits out, hanging up on Satoru. You laced your arms around his waist, making him flinch from surprise. “You have to go to work?” You kiss the middle of his back. Toji turns around, picking you up, you wrap your legs around his waist. He plants his lips onto yours, deepening the kiss. “Toji—“ You moan out. “Fuck, don’t sound like that. You’ll make it harder for me to leave.” He throws his head back, furrowing his eyebrows. “Sorry.” You kiss his jawline. “Satoru is gonna get it.” Toji groans. “I gotta go.” He huffs, walking into the shared bedroom. You start to eat your breakfast, drenching it in syrup. “I hope he’s quick.” You think to yourself. A few minutes later, you see your husband in a dress shirt, slacks and his dress shoes. You see him clamping his watch on, and he has a button unbuttoned that gave more of a chilled yet professional look.

“No.” You say. “What?” He questions. You saw the way his biceps bulged, and the way his ass was firm and perky in his slacks. “You look so sexy oh mah gad.” You say, with syrup falling from your lip. You’re practically drooling at this point. “Ill be back princess.” He says wiping the syrup from your lip, and licking his thumb. “Oh no, please don’t leave.” You groan. He was just so god damn sexy. “Oh no wait hold on!” You shout out, chasing him to the door. “Please of god please let me take a picture.” You groan. “Princess, I have to go.” He says. “Just one second please.” You smile, grabbing your phone, and snapping a photo of him chuckling. “Oh my god, Toji. I will have this engraved in my mind for eternity. I love you so much.” You dramatically say. “I love you doll, I’ll be back soon. I left my card on the dresser, go have fun.” He smiles, leaning down, kissing your lips.

You spent part of the day going to little shops in town, Toji wanted you to spoil yourself, but nothing really was appealing to you. Until you found a matching pajama set, buying that and some coffee, you looked down at your Apple Watch, seeing that it had been three hours since Toji left. “I miss him” You frown. You feel your phone buzz, you pull it out, seeing your friends Chrissy is calling, so you answer. “Hey!” You smile, “Hey bitch— happy birthday! Whatcha doing?” She asks, “Oh I’m at the town square next to my house. Toji is working unfortunately.” You say. “What! No! I’ll meet you there, I’m like 5 minuets away!” You friend says.

And thats how you spent your day, you and your friend went to store after store, window shopping, eating pastries, and heading back to your house to watch movies. “When will your man be home?” Chrissy says, “honestly I thought he was supposed to come home earlier, so I don’t know.” You frown. You love your friends, but you had much rather spent the day with Toji. A couple hours go bye, you hadn’t realized you fell asleep on the couch, you look beside you and Chrissy is not around. You grab your phone checking the time—

Chrissy: hey babes, you fell asleep so I let myself out. Have a good birthday! Love ya!

You set your phone down, seeing it was 11PM. You hear the lock on the door click, which means your husband is home. You perk up, seeing your distressed husband, with his sleeves pulled up to his elbows, and his hair looked like he had been running his hands through it, which he usually does when he’s stressed.

“Hey my love.” You say softly, embracing him as he takes his shoes off. “I missed you.” You whisper, smelling cigarettes all over his clothes. “Doll, I smell of cigarettes and sweat.” He groans, peeling you off of him. “Let me go shower.” He says in a hush tone. You had followed him to the bathroom, and watched as he unloosened his belt, and peeled off his dress shirt. Standing there in his boxers, you saw his manhood that was clearly throbbing all day. He pulled them down, letting his cock spring right out, you saw the way he was leaking, and how it twitched just standing there. “Baby, I love you.” He eyed you. “I-I love you too.” You said, feeling the lump in your throat. “I want to make you feel good, I really do. I want to give you the birthday you deserve, especially sex. But I really need to have my release.” He groaned as he stroked his cock. You instantly undressed yourself, slipping in the shower before him. Signaling for him to come on in, and join you. “Fuck—“ he groaned, he stepped in, and instantly held yourself against the bar in the shower and bent over. “All for you.” You side eye. “Fuck, baby are you sure?” He says, placing his tip on your core. You nod in agreement. He slowly begins to push himself inside of you, and in an instant, he fully thrust in, not even letting you adjust. He began to thrust brutally, chasing his own release. You moaned and cried at the stretch. It felt so painfully amazing, you arched your back, and let him hold your waist as he fucked you raw.

“Yes— yes Toji.” You moan, you knew you would wake up the next day and wouldn’t be able to walk, but in the moment it was all you wanted to feel. He begin to thrust at a certain speed that kissed your G-spot so perfectly. Making you moan out. One thing about Toji, is he is a brutal man, he loved to watch you cry as he fucked you, he was feral when he did so. He heard a silent sob come out of your mouth, he spun you around and picked you up. “You cryin?” He groaned. “N-no” you said as the water sprayed your face. Toji’s manhood still throbbing, he hadn’t released yet. “FUCK!” he shouts. “Dry the fuck off now.” He spits out, both of you stepping out of the shower. You hurriedly rush drying off, he picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder, slapping your ass ungodly hard. “Ah! Toji!” you yelp. “Shut the fuck up.” He hissed. You could tell he was fuming, not at you. His job, Satoru, the fact he couldn’t spend your birthday with you. And the only way this man could let it go, was either drinking, or fucking you, or both.

Toji lied you on the bed, then walking out the room. He came back with a bottle of wine, already opened. Taking a swig. “You want some?” He huffed, you nodded. “Words!” He shouted. “Yes sir.” You say, knowing that is tipping over the edge. He pours some in his mouth, then grabs you by your neck and head and you open your mouth, letting the wine trickle in your mouth into your throat. He was trying to ease you, you knew what he was about to put you through wasn’t going to be the loving man you’re so used to, it was in this moment you understood why he was fucking other women after he got off work on a stressful day. The last thing he wanted to do, was put his sweet wife through a brutal fucking.

“I’m going to fuck you. And you will have to handle it.” He kissed your forehead sweetly. “Yes daddy.” You nod, a little wine dripping down your breast. “Fuck.” He groans. “Open your fuckin mouth.” He hissed, you did exactly as he said, he tapped the tip of his cock against your bottom lip. Then he shoved his cock deep into your mouth and throat. You knew how to take your husband’s cock into your throat, but it was a surprise, and you weren’t ready. But getting fucked by Toji, you don’t get that chance. He begin to fuck your mouth, forcing your head against his base. “Mm” you groan against his cock, you felt yourself struggling to breathe, he pulled you by your hair to look up at him. He had the phone camera in his hand, as he used your hair to control your movements. “Such a dirty little slut.” He groans. “Fuck just like that.” He groaned as he felt you swirl your tongue around. He finally pulled out of you, and you finally catching your breath.

He pushed you done, instantly putting your legs over his shoulder, fucking you raw. “T-To-!” You moan out loudly. “Hush.” He said stuffing a finger into your mouth. “Your pussy is talking to me.” He said, thrusting faster. You moaned out, sucking on his finger, he pulled out, flipping you around, instantly fucking you from behind. He leaned down, sucking on different spots of your back to mark you all up. He then turned you side ways, fucking you even deeper and harder. “Toji please slow down.” You moan, feeling your body is about to break. He then put you back on your back, fucking you fast and choking you lightly. “Fuck!” He would hiss, slapping your face, not hard enough to hurt, but also not light enough to not feel it. He leaned down, his face over your face. “Pussy feels so good.” He groaned. Planting kissing on your neck, and then marking you all over. You knew when you woke up, you would find hickies all over your neck and chest, which meant you were not to leave the house unless you want to be stared at. You hadn’t realized how much of a possessive man Toji is.

He slammed into you as one hand started to playing with your clit, and the other one was holding himself up. “I’m gonna cum. Take it.” He groaned, “toji it’s too much.” You cried, tears pulling down. “No— take it slut. I’m gonna fuck you until you give me a child. Fuck—“ he groaned, “Toji, baby please.” You cried, your body spasming. You just needed him to slow down a little. But Toji was feral, your tears were only fueling his desire. “Fuck yes—“ he groaned loudly, rubbing your clit faster, slapping your pussy. You begin to spasm, feeling your legs give out. And that’s when it finally happened. He came deep inside, while you squirt and creamed all over his cock. He continued the rub, while you clawed and cried for him to let go. You lost all your strength to even speak, just sobbing in pure ecstasy. You had been satisfied sexually from your husband, but never in this way. Toji was sending you the straight overstimulation, erupting a second orgasm, making you squirt again and again. “Fuck yes you dirty fucking whore.” He moaned out, fucking his seed deep into you. “Take that, take all of it.” He hissed, pulling you into his lips, kissing your fucked out face. Your body went limp, you no longer could move, but you feel everything. “Fuck!” He hissed, fucking you again, wanting another release. He did that for 10 minutes, while your body spawned and you sobbed. He kept fucking you until he came 3 times, and you passed out. Finally peeling himself off of you, and seeing he had completely fucked out his wife.

“Shit!” He groaned, seeing the way his seed spilled out of your cunt so deliciously, he scooped it up, pushing it back inside of you. “You’re gonna make me a father.” He whispered into your ear. “You keep my babies inside of that tight pussy.” He said, kissing your temple. You felt as if you weren’t even a person anymore.

You woke up, and you were lying in the bath with your husband behind you, he was washing your hair. You dozed right back to sleep, you couldn’t even comprehend anything that was happening. You woke up again to the sun slowly peeking through the window, you were engulfed in your husband’s embrace, you both were naked and clean.

“You okay doll?” Toji muttered. Your body ached, and you felt bruised everywhere. “I feel as if I was hit by a car.” You groaned. Feeling the way your cunt was throbbing and sore. “I’m so sorry doll.” He kissed your forehead. “I have never wanted to do that to you.” He groaned. Hiding his face in your hair. “Is that what you did to the other women?” You asks innocently. “Doll.” He said quietly. “It’s okay, you can tell me.” You said kissing his jawline. “Yeah.” He huffed. “Well I’m grateful I’m the only one who gets to see sweet Toji. Because I don’t think I could handle mean Toji everyday.” You giggle. “I’m sorry baby.” He embraced you. “It’s okay. It felt amazing, it was just a lot for me to take.” You giggled again. “I promise I’ll make it up to you— once you… heal.” He groaned, feeling his cock start to ache again. “Toji!” You slapped his chest. “It’s alright, I’ll do it myself.” He chuckled, pulling his cock out, fisting himself. While you drifted off to sleep to the sweet sounds of your husband groaning your name.

#anime fanfic #toji fushiguro #dilf toji #fanfiction #toji fushigro x reader #toji x reader #toji x y/n #toji x you #toji fushiguro smut #toji smut

[howlingtides]

Dazai visits Chuuya after Chuuya used Corruption to save him (Chuuya's POV)

Takes place immediately after Dead Apple

tags: hurt/comfort, soukoku's version of fluff, Chuuya has chronic pain

Every time Chuuya activated Corruption, it took him a little longer to recover. When he was younger, he'd sleep it off in a few hours. The last couple of times, it had taken him maybe a day or two.

It had been three days since he'd defeated that dragon and saved Dazai's ass, and his entire body still felt like it had been crushed beneath the pressure of his own ability.

It was absolutely brutal.

He'd definitely exceeded the recommended dose of painkillers over the last seventy-two hours, and though they did help a bit, it still wasn't enough. His head throbbed and his muscles burned and his bones ached and it took every ounce of effort he had to get out of bed and force himself to eat something.

All he had left in the fridge was some leftover rice and a half empty bottle of white wine, and cooking was the last thing he wanted to do right now. He opted for the rice, popping the lid off the container and grabbing a pair of chopsticks and bringing everything with him over to the couch where he all but fell against the cushions with a groan.

He'd just taken his first bite when there was a knock at the door.

You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

It crossed his mind to play absent, to let whoever was here think he wasn't home so they would go away and just leave him the fuck alone while he wallowed in his post-Corruption agony.

"Chuuuuuyaaa," came a sing-song voice from outside, another knock following suit.

Oh he was definitely pretending that he wasn't home.

"I know you're in there," Dazai said. "I can feel you pouting."

Damn it all to hell.

"Go to hell you goddamn coat rack."

"But Chuuya," he pressed, "I come bearing gifts."

Gifts? What the hell could shitty Dazai have possibly brought him?

He pondered it for a moment before ultimately deciding that this was a losing battle. Chuuya was either going to let Dazai in or Dazai was going to eventually let himself in.

He set the rice down on the coffee table and pushed himself up with a grunt, dragging himself over to the front door. And he must've been in worse shape than he thought because the moment he opened the door, Dazai's stupid smile faded a little.

Just a little.

But it was enough.

"Please don't," Chuuya said before Dazai could comment on his appearance.

"Don't what?"

"Just. Don't." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Not today."

They stood there in silence for a moment as Chuuya held his breath.

Eventually, Dazai held up a brown paper bag. "In the mood for some carbonara?"

Chuuya was always in the mood for carbonara, and shitty Dazai knew that, but Chuuya was not in the mood for company, and Dazai probably knew that, too.

It was then that Chuuya's stomach growled and he remembered the cold white rice he was about to eat.

Begrudgingly, he stepped aside, allowing Dazai to enter.

It was also then that he realized how dark his apartment was. He'd kept all the blinds closed and the lights off because everything hurt and the light hurt, but if Dazai had something to say about it, he kept it to himself. Which was unsettling.

Was Chuuya dreaming?

"I figured you were still wallowing," Dazai said, setting the bag down on the coffee table next to the sad leftovers. "I haven't heard from you since you passed out in my lap."

There it was.

"That was not by choice, asshole," Chuuya snarled, limping back over to sit on the couch. "You held me down."

Dazai sat on the other side. "You looked pretty comfortable to me."

Chuuya could feel himself getting worked up, the pain increasing. "Dazai," he warned, rubbing at his temple.

"What?" Dazai continued. "It's not like it was the first time you've ever-"

"I should have left you to die."

"Well if you'd've done that, you'd be dead, too."

"Not the worst thing in the world right now."

Dazai paused at that and gave Chuuya this look.

Was that pity?

"I swear to god, if you-"

"I never got to thank you," Dazai said, cutting him off.

Chuuya froze, still trying to decide whether or not this was a dream.

"You saved me," Dazai continued. "You're always saving me, Chuuya." He slid the paper bag across the table. "So. Thank you."

Chuuya's chest felt warm. He stared down at the bag then back up at Dazai. "That's not poisoned, is it?"

Dazai gasped. "Chuuya! So soon after what happened to me? Consider a guy's feelings."

"You're so fucking full of it."

Dazai smirked. "You want me to take the first bite?"

He grabbed the paper bag, holding it away from Dazai. "Don't fucking touch it."

"I brought it for both of us."

Chuuya thought for a moment before setting the bag back down. "I guess," he uttered, "I guess I owe you one, too. For," he stared down at his hands, "saving me."

Dazai hummed in acknowledgement. "Has Chuuya gone soft?"

"Dick," Chuuya said, softly punching Dazai in the arm.

Dazai chuckled. "You're so easy."

Chuuya felt his cheeks go hot, and he wanted to scream, but he was also starving, and if it meant sharing a meal with Dazai to eat some delicious carbonara in his time of need, then.

Well, he guessed it also wasn't the worst thing in the world right now either.

#soukoku #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bungou stray dogs #hurt/comfort #soukoku's version of fluff #chuuya has chronic pain #skk #kris drabbles

[141goblin]

Soft: Chapter Four.

—> Chapter three

CW: Slightly suggestive. Hangover.

A/N: I posted the wrong chapter by accident🤦🏼‍♀️my bad. This chapter is a little short but I promise, it’ll get juicy soon :3

I wake up the next morning to find Amelia already gone and a little note laying on my bedside table, scrawled in her writing.

“Early shift at work, gotta go. Love you x”

The second I make any attempt to sit up out of bed, my head begins pounding, a cruel reminder of the sheer amount of alcohol I consumed last night. Yet another stupid decision that’ll make me waste another day lazing around and not doing anything productive. I somehow manage to stumble out of bed and into my bathroom. Because i’m an idiot, I slept in my makeup, breaking one of the most important rules I ever set for myself; never ever sleep in makeup. Crumbs of mascara descend down my dehydrated cheeks, lipstick clinging to the dry parts of my lips.

I wash away the remnants, praying that a bit of cold water and soap will help me to feel a bit more like a human being, rather than a zombie. It does, but not by much. The next thing on my list is to eat something, a proper meal, rather than just bits and pieces of random things laying around my cupboards. I usually opt for what known as ‘girl dinner’, a random assortment of little snacks. My go-to has been pickles with some tortilla chips, and apple slices with peanut butter. Instead of my usual ‘girl dinner’, I make myself a small bowl of pasta with some leftover sauce I have. Carbs will soak up the alcohol, I think.

Once I have something substantial in my stomach, the hangover is slowly starting to fade. It’s still there, but it’s gone from unbearable to just unpleasant. My head still hurts, but the spinning has subsided, luckily. I open my curtains and the windows, letting in some air to rid the smell of wine and takeaway food from my flat. It doesn’t take me long to clear up, putting the empty bottles and packages into the bin and the dirty clothes into the laundry. Now, my flat actually looks somewhat homely, rather than a biohazard. Look at me go, I think.

It’s well into the day, almost 3pm when I decide to reward myself with some well-earned phone time of scrolling on the same three apps for longer than i’d like to. I get into position on the couch, legs sprawled out and open tik-tok, scrolling endlessly on silly videos of cats that warm my heart and stupid memes. I make a mental note to look into getting a cat after I’ve learned to take care of myself. Id love a cat right now, but the poor thing wouldn’t last long. I can’t even look after myself most of the time, let alone another living thing.

The ‘ding’ of the washing machine interrupts my phone time and forces me to get my arse up and finish my chores. I drag the wet clothes out and carry them over to the dryer, turning it on and letting it run. After that, I scoop up the warm, dry clothes off the floor and carry them into my bedroom to fold and put away, like the responsible, functioning adult i’m pretending to be. I’m stopped in my tracks when I plop down on my bed and see a suit jacket hanging up on the drawer of my dresser.

Price’s jacket. Shit, his text.

The laundry gets completely forgotten and I pull up his message from last night.

Unknown: Lovely seeing you tonight, dove. Think you still have my jacket. -JP

My brain begins spinning again as I try to formulate some sort of answer that will make me seem like a normal human being. It takes me a good few minutes of typing and then deleting, but I get there in the end.

Me: I apologise for my rant, I was a bit of a mess. Let me know when you’re free and we can arrange getting your jacket back to you. P.s. the party wasn’t that bad.

I hit send on the message and eagerly await his response, like a teenager with a crush. Fucking stupid, I think. The first time a man has shown me attention in a few weeks and here I am, waiting with baited breath for him to-

Unknown: I told you, dove, no apologies. There’s fire in you, I like that. And as for the jacket, there’s no rush. Hope your head isn’t too sore today. -JP

I giggle like a schoolgirl as soon as I read his text. My brain is screaming because the handsome man with the broad shoulders is texting me, but I take a deep breath to calm the giddiness. He hasn’t exactly left it open-ended so I decide not to reply and wait for him to text next, not wanting to get too ahead of myself, only to be let down because I jumped to conclusions.

I finish the rest of my chores, his texts pinging in my brain. I start to imagine what it’d sound like in his voice as i’m doing the dishes from tonight’s dinner. I imagine his deep, rumbly voice, the voice that makes my fucking bones tingle and brain shake in my skull. I imagine pressing my face against his neck as he talks, feeling the vibrations against my lips. I imagine his voice calling me that stupid nickname, ‘Dove’. I’ve never been called that before, by anyone else, but it’s fast becoming my favourite nickname. It’s better than ‘hot tits’, anyway, the name my ex-boyfriend used to call me when he’d try to be smooth. When I think about it, my ex is nothing compared to Price. Sure, he’s tall and conventionally attractive, but he doesn’t have the same attitude he does. He doesn’t exude masculinity and confidence the way he does.

For fuck sake, I’ve only met the man once and here I am fantasising about him while I pretend to watch yet another rerun of gilmore girls, my attention on him rather than the screen.

I know i’m getting ahead of myself, getting too excited, but I can’t bring myself to care. For the first time in a long time, I let myself indulge in the thoughts and fantasies about the handsome man i’ve only met once. The thoughts continue well into the night, from when I curl up on the couch, to when I settle into bed, hand between my thighs and mind full of his voice. My sticky skin shines with sweat and my moans echo off the walls of my bedroom. I’d normally worry about being heard by the neighbours, but my mind is too full of Price to give a shit.

tags: @izziyuwh @a66-1 @jenniferpendragon @girl-of-multi-fandoms

#call of duty #john price #john price x reader #john soap mactavish #plus sized reader #fanfic #cod mw2 #cod mwii #cod modern warfare #captain john price #captain price

[mail-me-a-snail]

oc interview: ✨✨vance✨✨

thank you to @swearingcactus AND @glitchinginthegarden AND!! @v-eats-bugs for tagging me !! finally got to sit down and answer this :3

let's hit it !

🧡 Name?

"Just call me V."

his first chosen name was penn, but he started going by vance after his medical transition. he doesn't give it out freely bc that was the name arasaka knew him by; he doesn't mention his surname, either, bc it's a pretty prominent one with much of its members still working for the megacorp in question.

🧡 Nickname?

"...Well, last I checked, 's still V."

apart from "mano" from jackie, vance doesn't have much in terms of nicknames. his old netrunning handle was N3tH0und (net hound); it's a retired username that's been largely scrubbed from the net, but sometimes he signs his major hacks with it just to fuck with people. it's a ghost's name, and it's fun to haunt the net only when he knows for certain that it can't be traced back to him.

🧡 Gender?

"Guy! Never been asked that outright before."

🧡 Star sign?

"'s not my scene--can't say I know much about it--but Misty's got me down as a Cancer, whatever that means. Says that's probably why I'm, er, so 'intuitive', as she called it. You ask me, that's just the merc work--bein' able to read a room, that is."

i first drew vance on july 7, 2023, so i consider that his birthday. like vance, i have no idea how being a cancer applies to him, but google says cancers are loyal, domestically inclined, and committed to their loved ones, so that sounds about right!

🧡 Height?

"Six flat. Johnny's pretty sure I'm taller than 'im...but he's slouchin' all the time, so don't think he's got a say in it."

🧡 Orientation?

"Usually go for other guys. But I guess the definition of that is pretty loose these days, 'specially in NC, huh. The hell does it matter to me if you've got certain...parts. If you're a guy, you're a guy, and if you're down, I'm down, y'know?"

vance is a gay man with a preference for masculine-identifying individuals. like he said, if you identify as a "guy" in any form, then that's good enough for him. he's not one to talk about having "appropriate" parts, and he thinks it's dumb that they're gendered in the first place. he's not usually looking for anything serious and he's more than okay with just being an input and having one as well.

🧡 Nationality/ethnicity?

"Nay's Indian. Tay's Filipino. Ya ask anyone, I look more like my mom."

nanay and tatay are the filipino words for mother and father, respectively. vance has a very limited grasp of either language but he at least knows that much from his dad's mother tongue.

🧡 Favorite fruit?

"Oh, man, 's been a while--this one time when I was growin' up, think I was ten or eleven, 'Saka sent Dad a basket of 'ganic fruit. For his 50 years o' service, I think it was. Anyway, had my first apple then. What I wouldn't fuckin' give for one right now."

he likes fuji apples the best :3

🧡 Favorite season?

"Gotta be winter. I got to go a lot of places back in '65--Europe, mostly--an' most of them were snowy. Loved seein' my breath fog up. You don't get that here. You get hot rains and the pavement steamin'--guess it's pretty, in its way, with all the city's neon shinin' through the rain.

"But it ain't a real winter without snow."

🧡 Favorite flower?

"If ya hike it out to the Badlands in the summer, you'll find these little white flowers blooming on the cacti; Net says they're called Saguaro blooms. I like their...tenacity, I 'spose."

"But if I had to give ya a traditional answer...blue hydrangeas. Maya--she used to grow 'em in her apartment, still don't know how she did it--she gave me some blooms for my birthday back in '70. A welcome home kinda thing. Don't got her green thumb, so they died a week later...but they were real pretty. Somethin' to look forward to comin' home to."

🧡 Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?

"Coffee--can't say it works for me, though."

he likes all three and refuses to drink his coffee black. he will put so much milk and creamer in that cup that it might as well be a dessert. johnny is disgusted (affectionate).

🧡 Average hours of sleep?

"...Hours, plural?"

vance is a champ at power naps and between the relic and an insomnia left over from his arasaka days, he doesn't get to bed much. if you do somehow get him into bed by morning, however, be prepared to not see him until near-evening the next day.

🧡 Dog or cat person?

note: those 10,000 photos are just the ones he has on his phone; do not look at the cloud where his kiroshi photos are stored.

🧡 Dream trip?

"...Was actually, erm, thinkin' of--well, when we get all this shit sorted out--I was thinkin'...might bring Johnny somewhere colder. Somewhere with snow. Said he hasn't seen snow before, so, I-unno, thought he might like it out there."

please take this time to imagine johnny in his android body nuzzled up to vance in the snow, red-faced and, for the first time in a long time, in awe. they're going to have hot chocolate later in some cabin vance rented out for the season--but right now, they're watching their shared breath cloud together in the air, simpatico even in this.

🧡 Favorite fictional character?

"Oh, oh--there's this real old holovid I used to loop when I was fifteen. 's fucked how they got most of it right. Anyhow, Rick Deckard. I used to think he was so damn cool."

deckard, with his big-collared jacket and general gruffness, was definitely one of vance's transition goals. that, and he watched br2049 right after--with how deckard was treating K, vance started projecting Really Fucking Heavily on K. like wow! you're a total killing machine with a father who just might love you. that's crazay man. could not be me

🧡 Number of blankets you sleep with?

"Run pretty warm as it is already, so just the one. Like the...texture of it, as it were. The weight o' it."

get this man a weighted blanket please god. i think it would fix him. alternatively, just lay on top of him and he'll be happy.

🧡 Random fact?

"I used to klep a lotta shit when I was a kid. Wires, chips, motherboards--mostly tech, really, from the vendin' machines and bus stops 'round the city. Sold 'em for a pretty eddie down in Heywood; got no buyers in the Hill, not when we could all afford the tech those Heywood kids were tryin' to kitbash together in the first place. Don't really know why I did it.

"To strike out, maybe? Maybe I liked the challenge. There's somethin' about makin' a machine give its own parts to you; get a vending machine to dispense its motherboard, a bus stop sign its LED, and ya feel like ya can make anythin' bend to your will."

--

thank you again for the tags!! this was a lot of fun to do :3

tagging @netripper , @knuckle-cluster, @matapang-coffee, and

@nakitengoku AND whoever else would like to do this! no pressure to do so ofc!!

if u ever dont want to be tagged in these kinds of posts, just lmk!

#cyberpunk 2077 #cbp2077 #cp2077 #cp77 #male v #digital art #doodle #mine #my art #vance #WHOOWEE this was a long one but i had a lot of fun doing it #hes so dead wife core here tbh

[archivalofsins]

Gunsli as a Mikoto enjoyer you must be losing your shit now that his second trial is drawing closer and closer! You're going to avidly defend him, right?

Meanwhile

Me *carrying a large stick around the panopticon*: FUTA, MU I JUST WANT TO TALK COME OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT HERE!

Futa & Mu: We're not on trial anymore-

Me: The phones...

Them: Huh?

Me: WHOSE FUCKING PHONES ARE THESE?!

Them: ?!

Me:

Well?! Any answers?

Mu: You already did this with me during my trial?!

Yeah, it wasn't really about you it was just for the bit-

So, huh Futa?! Huh whose phone, is it?! Because I know this isn't your phone for several reasons!

So, let's run this down from the beginning-

Question 1

Which cellphone is Futa's?

Sorry, to disappoint but in the battle between iPhone and Android Futa is firmly on the side of Android.

This is made abundantly clear by the fact that unlike Yuno who owns wireless earbuds, Futa's owns wired ones. Something not supported on Apple devices since 2016.

So, why did someone who owns an android phone have what appears to be an Apple charger plugged into his laptop near that flash drive? Well chances are he hooked up that iPhone to his computer to get some information off the phone, erase that information, then move it from his laptop to that flash drive.

We also know this iPhone isn't Futa's because he displays the UI of his actual phone while looking through the color inverted version of twitter-

At which point we can see his UI is completely different from the phone we see breaking at the end of Bring It On.

Futa's phone is also put on full display at the beginning of Bring It On and in other instances showing multiple physical discrepancies between it and the phone that breaks at the end.

From camera placement to general make of the phone and the brightness on the red of the phone case. All things that have remained consistent over the course of Milgram. Making it more apparent which phone is his.

Question two,

Why would Futa take someone else's phone and what information could he need?

He states what he needs and what he's using the phone for at the beginning of Bring It On,

"Found one…! Countdown till I make you say sorry. Let’s go! A victory march! Dan-Da-Dan. Eat this! Don’t act like you have no idea! We won’t forgive you. You’re the crazy one! Ban-Ba-Bang." - "All evil hypocrites should disappear. I won’t stop until you say “sorry”. Now let’s begin to hunt down the liars."

He's using it to get information on the people involved in the incident and track them down.

The rest of the members of the party he was working with for a time. That ended up putting all the blame for that incident on him. This is probably why he's not hanging out with them when he goes to the arcade and is instead watching from a distance.

Using the situation to get rid of two people at once since the hat girl was possibly involved with the group as well hence the line,

"Flames closing in, are both sides losers?"

"Fuck it! You won’t be forgiven; it was stupid licking each other’s wounds." - "You can’t escape, how do you like the taste of punishment." - "You gotta be kidding, I’m an undead hero!"

I've already speculated that Futa's murder was the result of him reacting to the outcome of the hat girl situation and that Futa and this other victim were a part of the same group before.

(I have made way too many posts on Futa: X, X, X, X, X, X, X and many more. Back to the topic at hand though.)

However, the hat girl could have been uninvolved with the group as well. Yet, taking into consideration the very targeted and extreme harassment the group is depicted doing in Backdraft while Futa is looking on in shock and terror I think it's hard for me to not consider this being personal in some way.

That display perfectly calls back to these lines of Futa's in Bring It On,

"I won’t stop until you say “sorry”." - "Now, let’s be reasonable. We are the ones that blow the horn for justice. We will punish you down, this is a warning."

Futa has made it abundantly clear he only does this until the other party apologizes or backs down. Something the hat girl was already doing while the others continued to attack her anyway.

In Backdraft, Futa also spray paints the ones who did this in black as they were doing it. Then we see their tags on the image of the victims have been spray painted over on the wall with black as well once it cuts to the girl.

Black is used as the color to highlight the words on Futa's second trial CD as well,

I believe this color is being used to highlight Futa's version of justice. Just as he says in the voice drama that Es and him are no different, both simply stating that something was bad and things going out of control.

Adding to this Es (and the audiences) judgement of Futa is represented with the same color at the end. As if visually stating the judgement the audience gave to Futa should actually be given to these people instead and reiterating the little difference Futa sees between what he did and what Es and the audience is doing now.

Backdraft even going as far as to have the eyes behind Es be the same color as the spray paint, the people in the group are portrayed using to harass that girl. Making it seem as though by punishing Futa we're supporting the people who did this instead of the other way around.

This makes Futa's question of,

"Should I succumb, make your wish come true?"

Come off as though he's not only speaking about Milgram (Es, and the audience), but the others involved in the harassment of that girl who may have begun doing the same to Futa hoping he'd react in a similar way to their previous victim.

Something alluded to through this image and messages at the end of Bring It On.

QRT Storm Pazuzu　（＝Futa）            I think I’ve got all her details now. Based on her previous tweets I’ve worked out her school. The fact she lives so close is hilarious lol Judgement☨Onizuka You’re the worst offender of all.

"Full of yourselves, are you?" - "Bye bye idiots and devils with the faces of angels." - "You gotta be kidding! I’m the real hero!" - "You gotta be kidding, I’m an undead hero!" - "You’re the crazy one! Ban-Ba-Bang!"

Also we see in Bring It On through Futa's inverted colored phone screen that his icon looks like blue fire or mirrors JudgementOnizuka's normal colored one and vice versa. Implying some sort of connection between the two of them.

It's also telling that Futa is represented by fire and Onizuka water especially given the repeated line of,

"Can't douse this fire."

Within Backdraft.

The lyrics,

"Don’t get cocky, you in that cypher!"- "Holler-holler from safety, so worthless."

These lines can not only refer to the audience or Es but the people he used to hang out with or individuals getting overzealous/too confident with their harassment online. Something the group he used to be in did.

Backdraft also shows off Futa's willingness to just fight head-to-head about it through the line.

"The fight’s up here! Come up to the ring and face me!"

"You won’t be forgiven, a coward, never!"

Question 3

How did he get the phone? Whose is it?

"Are both sides losers?" - "The fact she lives so close is hilarious lol."

It's more than likely the hat girl's phone. Just like the phone we see get smashed in After Pain appears to have belonged to Mu's victim and former friend. Once again, making this another way Futa and Mu parallel each other and why they were paired up.

If the hat girl were also in the group or followers of these people before she began getting harassed, Futa would have an easier time looking over, keeping up with, and figuring out who was responsible for the harassment. That is if he did get her phone after she died.

It would also be similar to how Mu's victim seems to have been involved with Mu or the friend group Mu was in before she passed away as well. However, the phone could belong to Futa's actual victim then when we see it falling to the ground and breaking in Bring It On could be during the altercation portrayed in Undercover.

One thing is for sure Futa and Mu both use breaking phones as imagery for silencing others-

That and they both have a very firm grasp of framing.

Futa would still be able to look over old interactions he was in from his own phone. So, like with Mu in After Pain and It's Not My Fault there may be some playing around with time. In fact, I think there may be playing around with time present in all the prisoner's music videos that becomes more overt depending on the prisoner's personality.

In Futa's case, this is probably why the interactions on his own phone have those inverted colors while the interactions on the one we see break later does not. This coloring choice could denote that these interactions happened before what we are witnessing now. You know how flash backs are usually put in grey or muted colors.

Just as it's implied through After Pain that the messages on Mu's phone happened before her bullying. Futa just goes about displaying this in a vaguer manner.

There are also these things from Bring It On as well that I covered elsewhere before, but I believe it was in reply to someone else's post or something because I can't find it in my archive.

These read,

WARNING [FUTA'S TWITTER ICON] "CONGRATULATIONS [REDACTED]! YOU BROUGHT JUSTICE TO THE WORLD!!! CONGRATULATIONS [REDACTED]? YOU BROUGHT JUSTICE TO THE WORLD???" WARNING [FUTA'S TWITTER ICON] CONGRATULATIONS [REDACTED] YOU BROUGHT [REDACTED] TO THE WORLD!!! CONGRATULATIONS [REDACTED]? YOUR BROUGHT [REDACTED] TO THE WORLD???

I also mentioned this before with this but again can't find it but on the map during the final fight we can see Futa's indicator moving away while appearing to spawn back in.

Also the D in world is styled after his twitter icon-

And at the beginning of Bring It On his phone switches between the Bring It On screen and his twitter feed each time the video glitches before he heads out-

So, yeah- Some credit for all the work Futa did trial one trying to cover up the truth is long overdue.

Whelp that's it. Fuck you Futa for pulling one over on me though really thought that was his phone he dropped.

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama

[spidercookie18]

I've had this idea in my head that Paul uses M&M tubes to keep his joints in! They're perfect, they start out having candy AND they're air tight! If you can make anything out of that for the love of all that lives, you gotta.

Summary: Paul is a fiend, and makes it grandpa Emerson's problem Word Count: 2.5k

Great ask! I love this one a lot, you’re gonna get a crack response, but it’s a good response. Cause I’m smoking a crack pipe full of these fruity little bitches!

So, I’ve been toying with the idea of the boys going to COSTCO; hear me out. Any TLB AU where everyone survives, means Lucy will take the boys in; no if’s and’s or buts about it. She is the best 80’s mom ever, she’s for sure adopting them. Which makes the whole David x Michael thing weird bc they would be…stepbrothers? Whatever, vampire relationships are complicated. She would also have to be feeding like 10 people. Hold on, lets actually count. It’s the boys, that’s 4 + Lucy, Sam, Michael, Grandpa E, another 4, then Star, and Laddie, which is 2 AND maybe Max, and the Frog brothers… depending on how that goes. Anyways, that’s still at LEAST 10 mouths to feed.

So, Lucy, being the mom that she is, would get a COSTCO membership to get all the things that her new, big family would need. Now, you’re probably wondering, “Ari, where the fuck are you going with this?”

WELL

Lucy would get a COSTCO card so she could get these rambunctious fuckers what they need. Max would foot the bill, and everyone would be ‘happy’ about it and shut up forever.  (FYI, Costco in the 90’s looked more like a Home Depot, which I hate).

Lucy notices, IMMEDIATELY that her new sons have some interesting snack choices to say the least.

David is waaay too into eggs, to the point where she doesn’t know if he’s even eating them, or if he’s just hiding them somewhere. Marko goes through wheels of cheese like they’re apples. Dwayne likes… pickled fish and marshmallows. And Paul… well, she’s concerned for all of them, but she’s most concerned for Paul.

He’s quickly becoming her favorite. He always helps with chores, even if he doesn’t want to.  He changes light bulbs for her, even catches and releases the bugs that get in the house for her. Sure, he’s screaming and yelling the whole time it takes him to get the damn bug outside, but it’s the thought that counts. He's a mama’s boy through and through.

Lucy started worrying for him though, the second she noticed he would go through candy so quickly.  And not just go through candy, he would go through the damn candy. Paul could eat a whole box of candy, within a few minutes. When she got trick or treat candy for one Halloween, Paul went through several hundreds of dollars’ worth of candy within a few hours. Specifically, she noticed, he would tear through the mini m&m tubes like nobodys business.

Which, if you asked Paul, he’d say it really was, “nobody’s business.”

She would buy the giant COSTCO boxes that had 24 tubes and he would just walk off with the whole box. After he’d done that three or four times, she brought it up to David.

Lucy: I’m worried that Paul is… going to make himself sick.

David: *Leaning against the kitchen counter* We’ve been worrying about that for a lot longer than you have, he’s just like that.

Lucy: No, I mean, he keeps stealing these… little… *gestures with her hands* tubes of candy and I don’t know what he’s doing with them.

David: Oh, *rubs his chin* well that would be concerning… if it wasn’t Paul.

Lucy: Can you just make sure he’s not eating all that candy, can you boys process sugar fine like that?

David: *shrugs*

Michael: *walks into the kitchen, and grabs something from the fridge*

Lucy: OH, oh, Michael, *waving her hands* tell David about the thing.

Michael: *closes the fridge* Oh, no, not this again. *To David* Is she bothering you with this? *To Lucy, pointing with the soda bottle* Are you bothering him with this?

David: *snorts* This is a real hot button issue, eh?

Lucy: I’m worried about him, is no one else worried about him?

Michael: He’s a weird guy, mom. He’s just like that.

Lucy: But-

Michael: Mom if it’s that big of a deal why don’t you ask him about it?

Lucy: I TRY. But every time I try to ask him about it, he bolts. And, *pointing at Michael and David* with all that damn candy, I might add.

David: *laughing* Yeaah, that sounds like Paul.

Michael: Don’t encourage her.

Lucy: *glares at Michael*

David: Listen Ms. E, I wouldn’t worry about it making him sick. But if it means that much to ya, I’ll talk to him about it.

Lucy: Thank you, David, *pats his back*

David: *already halfway out the room* okay byeeeeeeeeee

What lucy didn’t know, was while, yes, Paul was a fiend for sugar, he was hoarding the m&m tubes for a much more nefarious reason.

Paul was like a pack rat. Step one foot into the cave, and you’d think it was just a mangled mess of shit. But, if you looked closely, you’d notice all the little things hidden away.

Paul had been, for the last several months, eating, emptying, and refilling the plastic, airtight containers with grandpa E’s marijuana. He had been sneakily snatching the sticky green buds in the middle of the night and stashing them away for safe smoking.

Albeit, not as sneaky as he thought. Cause, on more than one occasion, grandpa E had been waiting outside in the garden with the spray hose for Paul. Whenever Paul would slosh into the cave the boys knew he got hosed again, and they’d laugh at his ass.

But, Paul, the ever persistent, learned grandpa E’s habits, and how to better sneak the weed away undetected. He’d crawl on his belly across the roof of the house with a bag slung across his shoulder (think army style, when they make them crawl through the mud; that’s Paul). He would peep his little face over the side of the roof and watch for grandpa in the garden. The first few nights, grandpa E stood outside for a few hours with the hose, waiting for the wild blond.

His persistence paid off, after a few days, grandpa E thought it was safe, and Paul snatched up his goodies. Paul thought he was being sneaky by hovering above the ground and not leaving boot prints; but the next morning, when Lucy, Sam, and Michael were having breakfast and they heard a string of old man cuss words, they knew ‘smokey the bandit’ struck again. Lucy didn’t believe for a second that sweet Paul could steal from her dad, so she chalked it up to her dad smoking too much and being old.

The next night when the boys went to visit for ‘pizza night’ grandpa E railed into Paul. He would not stop ranting and raving about how he was, “going to hog tie his ass,” and, “turn him into the ugliest taxidermyed vampire there ever was.”  Lucy gave the boys some money and sent them to get the pizza to let her dad cool down, but when grandpa E insisted he didn’t want Paul back in the house until he apologized, she told the boys to just go out for pizza.

Marko: Paul, you asshole, just apologize so we can go back.

Paul: If I apologize, then that proves I did it- which I didn’t.

Dwayne: Dude, we all know it was you.

Paul: Hey, he’s getting old, that’s 100% not my problem.

David: You know, if you strip the stalk, that kinda makes it more obvious, dumbass.

Sam: You shoulda heard him this morning,

Michael: Yea, it was pretty bad. I’ve never heard him blow up like that.

David: Really? What happened

Sam: He went crazy! He wouldn’t stop screaming!

Marko: *giggling*

Sam: It’s not funny dude, okay? He said words I’ve never even heard before!

Dwayne: Like what? ‘Dagnabbit?’

David: *snorts*

Michael: *Pulling Paul’s jacket by the sleeve* You know if he catches you, you’re dead.

Paul: I’m already dead, also, I’m so not scared of your ‘pappy’.

Michael: Hey, it was a fair warning.

After that, grandpa E went through with operation: catch that flying asshole. He brewed pots of coffee to stay up all night and traded in his hose for a shotgun. Grandpa E sat outside with a chair and his shotgun across his lap, just waiting for Paul to show.

Paul, the ever persistent, waited over a week for his prize. Lucy watched from the kitchen window, as her dad sat outside and stared at the night sky. Her, and Sam were beginning to worry about his mental state. He’d been forcing himself to stay away for hours, and whenever he did fall asleep, Paul would chuck pebbles at him to see if he’d gone to bed for good. Grandpa E would immediately wake up, startled, and one time he’d rang a shot off into the night. Lucy scolded him, saying what if he’d hit a bird, or one of the boys. And his response was, “good! Those fuckers need to learn to stop stealing my stuff!”

One night, after almost 10 nights, there was an opening.

Paul laid on his back, staring at the night sky, rolling the little grey pebble around between his fingers. He was getting sick of waiting, and if he wasn’t worried about what Lucy thought of him, he would have just gone and taken the whole damn garden already. He stared up at the stars, watching the clouds roll in.

Clouds.

He listened to the water as it began to fall softly onto the roof. The pitter-patter came slowly, then faster, then it came in a downpour.

Grandpa E: LUCY!

Lucy:

Grandpa E: LUUUCYYYY!

Lucy: What dad?

Grandpa E: Lucy! Bring me the umbrella!

Lucy: No Dad!

Grandpa E: WHAT?! But it’s a downpour!

Lucy: If you want the umbrella, you gotta come get it yourself!

*Lucy had had enough of her dad’s shenanigans and was determined to get him to come inside from the cold. She hoped this rainstorm was the wakeup call he needed. *

Grandpa E:

Grandpa E: SAM! MICHAEL!

Lucy: They’re not here dad!

Grandpa E: LUCY, YOU BRING ME THAT DAMN UMBRELLA BEFORE I CATCH MY DEATH OUT HERE!

She was done entertaining the notion that Paul, her sweet, kind, always there to help anyone, Paul, was stealing from her dad. He would have to come inside one way or another.

Grandpa E grumbled as his button-up shirt started to get soaked.

Paul turned to lay on his belly and watched his nemesis shift around, trying to determine what to do next. “Go inside, you old bastard,” Paul mumbled to himself. The rain was coming down hard now, if it wasn’t for his vampire eyes, he wouldn’t be able to see anything through the rain. Paul could stay out in the cold and wet forever if he needed to, but he knew grandpa E had to go inside, “go in,” Paul insisted.

He watched as grandpa E pulled the shotgun off his lap and scampered inside. He could hear him mumble something about an umbrella as he ran through the screen door into the kitchen.

Now was his chance!

Paul quickly flew down to the garden. He planted both feet firmly on the ground, what did it matter if his boot prints were in the ground, grandpa knew he was there, and also the rain would wash them out. Paul’s boots squished under him in the wet, burbly mud, he squatted down and grabbed the plant from the base of the stalk and ripped it out of the ground. The roots of the plant dripping down with mud and rain. He repeated his process a few more times. “Fucking old bastard,” he grumbled, as he pulled another plant up by the roots, “making me come out here in the - *grunts* FUCKING RAIN.”

He grabbed a few stalks, tucked them under the strap of his bag and flew off into the night.

Grandpa E heard the “woo-hoo” as he was reaching for the screen door. He ran outside, looking for the umbrella was a flop, it took him too long to search in the cramped closet, so he gave up and decided to return to his green patch of goodness. He scampered back to the kitchen and saw a hurried mess of hair shifting around in the garden.

Grandpa E: Look! There he is! *Pointing out the window*

Lucy: *Walking to the window* Dad, I don’t see anything?

Grandpa E: What do you mean?! He’s right there!

Lucy: *straining her eyes* Dad, it’s a downpour, I can’t see anything.

Grandpa E: *running to the screen door* I got your ass now!

But, as we all know, by the time he got out there, it was too late. Grandpa E, stared at the ground in defeat. He watched as the holes where the stalks used to be burbled and filled with mud and water. The boot prints were fading before his eyes. He knew no one would ever believe him now, and he knew Paul knew that too.

If he didn’t hate him so much by this point, he’d might have applauded him. But for now, he just fell to his knees, the mud sloshing under his pajama pants, and he wailed into the night.

Paul laughed the whole way back to the cave.

When he finally landed, he happily stomped down into the cave. He leaves of the stalks rustling, mud dripping off the stalks and the roots.

His boots squelched under his weight and the mud tracked in behind him.

The other boys and Michael watched as the cocky, rain washed out blond walked into the cave.

Marko: No fucking way.

Dwayne: Oh, Paul you didn’t

David: Atta boy!

Michael: Oooooh, I’m not here.

Paul hummed happily to himself; he ignored his brothers’ jeers as he walked to his alcove. He slung the bag off around his head set the stalks down next to his bean bag chair. He sat down on the tattered, ratty thing with an oomph. He looked at the stalks, he’d clean em and prep em for use later. Paul intended to pluck the seeds out and plant them near the cave, entirely done with being ‘smokey the bandit’.

He shifted to one side and reached a hand under the bag. He rifled around under the chair for a second before he produced what he was reaching for, an m&m tube. He patted his jacket for a lighter and popped open the blue plastic container. He wafted the open container under his nose and turned the tube upside down. A joint slid out into his open palm.

Paul plucked the twisted white paper and set it in his mouth. He flicked the lighter on and lit the end. He took a deep inhale and laid back further in his bean bag chair, still ignoring his brothers half-assed remarks.  

Victory never tasted so sweet.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #tlb 1987 #tlb paul #tlb david #tlb marko #tlb dwayne #tlb michael #lucy emerson #grandpa emerson #sam emerson #paul the lost boys

[iisasarcasticlittleshite]

Weak Immune System (Karasuno Volleyball Club/ MALEReader) Part II

Dunno where this is going but hey, it's happening!

A morning person you were not, your multiple alarms at various intervals were a testament to that. You hated early mornings, so it was a relief to you that you hadn't been chosen for the starting lineup at this practice match the team was going to this morning. They'd left at six am on a Saturday, who does that?

You had every intention of staying curled up in bed for a good three more hours, you'd hear about the match later, you weren't the only one not going, after all.

Considering it was Saturday, you weren't expecting any sort of noise from your phone at 7:15, but it was to the shrill melody of your ringtone that you jolted awake, squinting against the lowest brightness which was somehow, still too freaking bright. You squinted until you found the answer button at the top of the screen, because you were holding the phone upside down, and you groaned as loud as you could to ensure that whoever was on the end was aware of how unhappy you were to be conscious.

"Jesus (Y/N), you sound like an ogre."

"What the fuck Suga, why am I awake right now?" you grumbled, your morning voice low and hoarse, eyes barely able to stay open.

Suga swallowed on the other end, sharing a glance with his waiting teammates, sometimes, you were too unaware of how attractive you were, and it showed in that morning voice.

"We...kinda have a problem?"

"Kinda? You better be on fire if you're waking me up right now dude, shouldn't you be playing Seijouh?"

"Daichi slipped on wet stairs, he's got a nasty sprain. We need you in the court."

"The hell you do, you're there." you huffed, reaching for the glass of water you kept on your bedside table, only to realize you'd already downed it overnight and would now need to get up and lose the warm snuggly feeling of sleep.

"It's gotta be you, (Y/N)," you heard coach Ukai announce "you're the best all-rounder we got."

"I don't know what you people are on, I'm not the best anything.'' you sighed, heaving yourself out of bed and trudging downstairs to seek out hydration.

"I got this coach," Suga assured, "c'mon (Y/N), you're really gonna back down from a rematch with that flake?"

"Don't go making this about Flattykawa dude."

"Why not? You're really going to back out and leave it on us when you know you make the starting lineup a pain-in-the-ass for Oikawa? Come on (Y/N), even Hinata has the balls to show his face on the court right after puking all over someone else's pants, you really gonna get shown up by your chibi underclassman?"

You chugged down a tall glass of water while listening to Suga's rant, sipping a second before glancing at the time again, mulling over your options "You're an ass, Koushi."

"Soooo?"

"When does the match start?"

"Twenty minutes," Sugawara restrained his enthusiasm, he knew better than to assume that meant you'd be coming.

"Takes me thirty to run there, buy me some time?"

Cheers erupted, so loud you flinched away from the phone, barely hearing Sugawara declaring "run fast Forest! We'll be here!"

You rolled your eyes and hung up, getting to work. You downed a protein shake and an apple, sipping an energy drink as you got dressed straight in your sports gear, foregoing a bag because it would only slow you down, you stuffed a clean tank top in the large pocket of your shorts and stuffed your phone in the other.

You weren't about to injure yourself on the way there, so you worked your way up from a slow jog to a ground-eating run, all the while cursing your teammates for getting you up before the sun had fully risen. It was cold out this early!

You made it to Seijouh in twenty-five minutes thanks to a shortcut you found, and followed the noise to the court, jogging past Shimizu, who looked rather delighted to see you.

She led you straight to Coach Ukai, quietly declaring "I'm glad you got up for this."

Your cheeks grew warm, Kiyoko rarely spoke to anyone, let alone you. You couldn't help but smile.

"Damn you made it here fast!" Ukai declared at the sight of you.

"I can always wait outside?" you said jokingly, your bad mood fading at the sight of an active game of volleyball, even if Oikawa was involved, too focused to notice you there.

"No way Sleepy, they need you in there," Ukai pointed to the court, just in time for Oikawa's serve to tear straight through Hinata.

You glimpsed Oikawa's smug grin and Hinata began to lose heart. You clenched your jaw. If anyone was going to tear through Hinata's shitty receives, it was you. You turned to Ukai with a fire in your eyes and said "put me in coach."

Takeda-sensei signalled the referee for a switchover, and only then did you glance at the scoreboard. It could be worse, 8-12, in Seijoh's favour. You wouldn't be turning it around alone, you told yourself, you'd just be putting an end to Oikawa's serves to Tanaka, Asahi and Hinata could get in there and so some damage.

The boys finally noticed who was standing beside the court when you stepped up to swap with Suga, and you swore you'd never forget their faces when they saw you standing there, ready to play. They looked...relieved, determined, eager.

Sugawara high-fived you on his way off the court, sharing a smug grin with you "hand them their asses, Mr. hardhead."

You groaned theatrically, half stumbling to your place on the back right to receive "when are you going to stop calling me that dude?!"

"Sources say never!"

You laughed, making sure to look as relaxed as could be as you waved to your teammates on the court "What 'sup gents?"

"Glad you could make it!" Oikawa's annoyingly attractive voice sang from across the court, ball against his hip, ready to serve again "Better late than never I suppose. Wouldn't want you to miss this."

"Try fixing the bedhead before you talk to me, your royal hiney." you sniggered "or is that what your hair usually looks like?"

Oikawa pouted, you smirked and bent your knees, bracing to receive, muttering something to Hinata beside you. Far as you could tell, Oikawa would do one of three things: Aim for you, aim for Hinata again, or get too excited and flunk the serve. You muttered this to Hinata before the whistle blew and told him that no matter what Oikawa did, not move an inch.

Tooru wound up, the crack of his hand against the ball almost made you wince, your eyes widening as you moved to react to the serve. Of course, he had to aim for the freaking corner furthest from you. To others, it probably looked like and out, but you knew him, he'd hit the damned line and sneak another point right out from under you just to tell the team that their change in personnel didn't matter, and you weren't having that.

You dove past Hinata, long arms scooping the ball up and sending it sailing straight up. It stung, but it was nothing compared to the elation of rolling back to your feet and watching your team gearing up for an attack, Kageyama taking two steps to get under the ball.

Tanaka cut the narrowest straight shot you'd ever seen from him, and cheers of relief filled the air. Apparently, Oikawa had tucked away five points with his serves alone, and you could still see him pouting across the court from you.

Tanaka jumped on you, tousling your hair "NICE RECEIVE SLEEPING BEAUTY!"

"You should just come out from the start next time," Kageyama said in a rather Kageyama manner "you won't have to run next time we need you."

"And we clearly needed you," Asahi said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck "sorry for waking you up though."

Your heart swelled with pride, hearing those words, they needed you, but then you remembered why they needed you, and your smile fell "yeah right, you guys would have been fine with Daichi. You always are!"

This was routine by now, you were so used to playing off your own part on a court, all you were was the cornerstone, you picked up balls, occasionally you spiked and blocked, you were the shoulders that the real point-scorers stood on, it was nothing complicated, anyone with a little practice and dedication could do it.

Tanaka slapped you across the back of the head "quit the crap dude! I don't know when you're gonna get it but we need you on this damn court, stop comparing yourself to what everyone else does!"

"Calm down," Tsuki huffed at Tanaka's yelling, nodding to you "nice serve."

"Huh? Oh," someone was passing you the ball and nudging off to serve "right, serving. Stop thinking now (Y/N)."

You had a habit of doing that, and you were ignorant to the fact that some of your teammates found it rather adorable.

You took a deep breath and cleared your mind before facing the net to serve. Most people were afraid of serving because it was the only time in Volleyball where you stood alone, but that was the part you loved about it, you felt free, not having to pick anyone up, all you had to do was get the ball over the net, and preferably to the ground immediately after.

You overheard Oikawa talking to someone, particularly the words "be careful, he's good."

Trying not to look smug, you waited for the whistle, and a second or two more, before tossing the ball up, counting down until you launched yourself from the ground, this was your first serve, you'd hit the next one harder, and the one after that, but this one, this one had a target.

The ball smacked into the line in the back corner, so close it made the referee think twice before he called it. No-touch-service-ace.

"HELL YEAH!" Ceremonial chest bump with Tanaka and the ball was sent right back to you. Iwaizumi's eyes met yours, and he nodded once in respect.

You twirled the ball between your fingers and grinned. Now, you were home.

Pt.1 Pt.3

#karasuno headcanons #karasuno x male reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x male reader

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS LUNATIC PARADE WonderGOO Tokuten Drama CD  “Tumult at the Lost Child Center ~Don’t be too Childish~”

Original title:「ディアヴォリック★自堕落生活～長男の憂鬱～」

Source: Diabolik Lovers Lunatic Parade WonderGOO Tokuten Drama CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru & Tatsuhisa Suzuki

Translator’s note: Honestly Ayato & Yuma are such a fun pairing because they’re both relatively ‘chill’ guys who have more of a childish side to them. Defintiely the perfect pick for a CD about a lost child center haha. It was really cute to see Yuma interact with the kids, although I never doubted his skills in that regard. He just radiates those ‘big bro’ vibes. :p Ayato on the other hand struggled a bit more, but I think he’s decent at dealing with kids too. Let’s just be grateful it wasn’t Kanato there instead or he would have set those poor children on fire lol.

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

🎶🎶🎶

Ayato: Ahー Ahー If you have found or are looking for a lost child, then…get your ass to the damn lost child center! (1) Do you understand!? 

🎶🎶🎶

Ayato: Heh…Whatcha say, Chichinashi? My announcement was flawless, no?

Yuma: Ahー It was a fuckin’ disaster. Why did it sound like ya were givin’ them an order at the end!? Haah…I’m really out of luck, havin’ to do this job together with this dumbass. 

Ayato: That’s my line! The kids are gonna get scared by you with your big frame and that nasty look on your face!

Yuma: Ah? No way. Just so ya know, lookin’ after some lil’ brats is a piece of cake for me. I used to do it all the time in the past after all. 

Ayato: Heeh…Even if that’s true, the past is the past, right? Whether it’s lookin’ after kids or anythin’ else, I’m not losin’ to you so you better brace yourself !

Yuma: Oh come on, don’t get so damn competitive over every single thing! Ahー What a pain in the ass…

A crying girl is brought in. 

*Thud*

Ayato: …Oh! A lost child was brought in right on cue! …’Kay, I’ll make her stop cryin’ so watch closely!

Yuma: Well, show us what you’ve got. 

*Rustle* 

Ayato: Oi, brat. Stop cryin’ right now. Those sobs and sniffles are hella loud and annoyin’. 

Child: Uu…

Ayato: Hah? What am I doin’ wrong, Chichinashi? I gotta make myself clear to her, right!? 

Yuma: You’re being way too serious to a kid. Haha…Ya have to be a lil’ more chill when ya talk to them. 

Ayato: Haah!? What should I do then!? 

You try to explain. 

Ayato: I see…Her name, huh? ーー Oi, you! Teach me your name! By the way, mine’s Ayato. Remember to add ‘-sama’ to the end when you refer to me, ‘kay?

Yuma: I can’t believe he’s askin’ a kid to refer to him as ‘-sama’. Pfftー! …Lame!

Ayato: …Shut up!

Child: Uu…

Yuma: Ahー Look, she’s even more scared now ‘cause ya started shoutin’ out of nowhere. 

Ayato: Keh…! Aah, what now!? I guess I should do somethin’ which will catch her attention…Oi! Teach me what works best with small human girls!

You explain.

Ayato: …Dolls!? Me…!? 

Yuma: Pfft! Playin’ house with dolls. Go ahead and give it a shot! I mean, ya talked pretty big earlier so I’m sure ya can pull it off, right?

Ayato: Geh…I’ll do it! Chichinashi, you help out too!

You nod.

Ayato: Come on. I’ll play with you, so pick your doll. 

*Rustle* 

Ayato: Haah…? You had all these choices to pick from and you went with the creepy Witch? So, how do you want to play?

The child explains.

Ayato: Haah…!? I’m playin’ as the Princess while Chichinashi gets to be the Prince!? ーー Hold up. Why did you divide the roles like that!? Shouldn’t it be the other way ‘round!? 

Yuma: Haha! Maybe the kid’s tryin’ to show her good heart by lettin’ ya be the Princess since you’ve been havin’ a hard time so far. 

Ayato: Haah!? 

The child asks to play.

Ayato: Haah? Ah…Right…Let’s see… (talks with a high-pitched, feminine voice) ‘Ah, I’m a cute Princess. Nice to meet you!’

*Rustle* 

Yuma: Pfftーー! …Fuck…I can’t believe I have to witness this…Is this a new type of torture? Haha!

Ayato: You bastard…Shut the fuck up! Don’t watch!

*Rustle*

Ayato: …Haah? You want me to have this apple? I’m not that dumb to just eat an apple given to me by some shady-ass Witch! No thank you!

Child: Uu…

Ayato: …!? 

Child: Uu…

Ayato: …Fine! I just gotta eat it, right!? …’Nom, nom, nom’ …Ah? I’m not gonna fall unconscious from the poison. That’d be hella lame!

Child: Uu…

Yuma: Ahーahー Ya never learn, do ya?

Ayato: Aah…!? Honestly, you’ve been talkin’ like you know best this whole damn time. Then you do it instead!

Yuma: Yeah, sure. Come on. Hand me the Princess doll.

*Rustle*

Yuma: …Ughー! The apple’s poison…!

*Thud*

Ayato: Haha! He’s totally into it. Lame!

Yuma: Say whatever ya want. …Oi, Sow! Don’t be spacin’ over there and kiss me already!

You seem surprised. 

Yuma: You’re the Prince here, right!? Wake me up with a true lover’s kiss! …Hehe. If ya want, I don’t mind if ya kiss me directly instead of usin’ the dolls.

Ayato: Haah…!? Oi, hold up! Why would she do that!? 

Yuma: …Ah!? Those without a doll should stay out of this!

Ayato: Shut up! …Ahー God! We’re done with this! Away with this crap!

Ayato sends the dolls flying into the air. 

*Woosh* 

Yuma: Tsk…Just how immature can ya be? 

*Rustle* 

Yuma: Hey, lil’ one. Why don’t we ignore that guy and draw some pictures next?

The girl nods.

Yuma: …Sure. You’re a good girl, aren’t ya? …Come on! Let’s see whoever can draw the better picture! I’ve got my hopes up high!

They grab paper and marks to draw.

*Scribble scribble*

Ayato: Oh! She’s really into this! Amazin’!

Yuma: Heh, want to join us? 

Ayato: …! In your dreams! …But well, I guess if you insist, I’ll do you a favor.

Yuma: You really are a pain in the ass, aren’t you?

*Scribble scribble* 

Ayato: Hm? Oi, kid. Whatcha drawin’? 

She explains. 

Yuma: Heeh…Your mother, huh? 

Ayato: Hah! Ridiculous! I’m not gonna draw that sorta crap. Let me think…

*Scribble scribble* 

Ayato: There we go! This should do!

Yuma: The fuck’s this round thing? 

Ayato: It’s the takoyaki I ate the other day! It had a Western-style twist to it, so instead of seaweed flakes, it had some other green-colored thing sprinkled on top. It tasted kinda strange. 

Yuma: Ya really couldn’t think of anythin’ else to draw? 

Ayato: I could ask you the exact same thing! The fuck’s that supposed to be? Don’t tell me you drew some vegetables? 

Yuma: Oh! Nice observation! It’s a new variant which I planted just recently. I really hope they’ll grow nice and big just like in this picture one day!

Ayato: …!? Aren’t those a little too big!? They’d easily reach above the roof of the house!

Yuma: Aah…? I bought the seeds at the Demon World so that’s the least I’d expect from them. So…What did ya draw? 

You show them your drawing.

Yuma: …Ah? Are these…The fireworks at the Parade? 

You nod. 

Ayato: Then over here are the gondolas? …I mean, I guess you did an okay job. Not as good as my drawing though!

The door opens.

Ayato: Oh, another lost child? 

The mother of the child rushes inside. 

Yuma: …Oh! You’re here to pick up yer daughter? …Hey, look who’s here. 

Ayato: Good for you! Go and enjoy the Parade, ‘kay? 

Yuma: What’s this? Are ya feelin’ a lil’ lonely perhaps? 

Ayato: Shut up! That’s not it! 

Yuma: Hahaha! …Oh? 

*Flip* 

Yuma: What? …You’re giving this drawing to us? …Haha! Ya did a great job! 

The child smiles. 

Yuma: This guy with the ponytail is me, right? 

She nods. 

Yuma: Yeah, thanks! …So, this stick-like girl in a skirt whose lackin’ any indication of curves whatsoever must be her, right?

The child nods again. 

Yuma: Hehe…Aren’t ya happy she drew such an accurate representation of ya?

You pout.

Ayato: …!? Hey, where am I then!? Show me!

*Rustle* 

Ayato: …Aah? Oi. Don’t tell me this guy with the red scribbles on top of his head is supposed to be me? 

The child nods again. 

Ayato: My hair isn’t that much of a mess! Come on, take a better look! It’s supposed to be spiky and looks way cooler than this!

Yuma: Nah, I think she did a pretty good job. Honestly, I can barely tell the difference! Haha!

*Rustle*

Ayato: Well…I guess I’ll accept it as a souvenir. Don’t get yourself lost again, ‘kay?

Yuma: Come on, ‘Ayato-sama’, why don’t you wave her goodbye? Thank the girl for playin’ with ya!

Ayato: Haah…!? I’m the one who played with her! Idiot! …Don’t you dare show up again, ‘kay!? 

The child leaves with her mother.

Yuma: Ahー That was kinda hectic. Oh well, I’m glad she was safely picked up by her parents. 

Ayato: …There’s absolutely nothin’ good ‘bout it!

Yuma: …Ah? 

Ayato: I didn’t get to show off what I’m capable of at all! ーー Oi, Yuma. Go and look for the next lost child. 

Yuma: Haah? …No way. Why should I do that? 

Ayato: Shut up! I feel like I got a feel for lookin’ after children now. So hurry up and bring in the next one!

Yuma: Listen up…It’s better if no children get lost at all, so don’t be spoutin’ bullcrap. Besides, if ya want to find one that badly, then look for them yerself!

Ayato: Haah…? And why would I do that?

Yuma: Ahー But I guess if ya were to come across one, you’d just scare and make them cry again. Just think of the disaster from earlier. Guess it’s too much to ask from ya.

Ayato: That’s not true! 

Yuma: Oh? I’m not convinced. 

Ayato: Shut up! I’ll show you! I’ll be back with an impressive amount of lost children, so you better be scared!

Ayato runs off.

*Thud* 

Yuma: Ahー Thank god that loudmouth is finally gone. I’m kinda tired from havin’ to deal with the kid, so I guess I’ll rest up a bit. Hey, go and make some tea!

Another child is brought in.

Yuma: …Wait!? Haah!? Talk about bad timin’...Yeah, this is the lost child center. We’ll take care of the lil’ one, ‘kay?

The door opens again.

Yuma: Ah? Two in a row? …Wait, there’s two at a time? 

More children are brought in. 

Yuma: Again!? Ahー Their cryin’ is drivin’ me nuts…Shut up! I’ll look after y’all so come here! …Anyway, what’s Ayato up to? I’m over here drowning in lost kids so don’t tell me he’s sleepin’ on the job!? 

All of the kids cry at once.

Yuma: Ah, hey! Don’t fight! …If ya can’t share and get along like good kids, I’m takin’ that ball away, do ya understand!? 

The crying intensifies. 

Yuma: …Aah? If you’re hungry, go to that Soー …I mean lady over there. Eat slowly so ya don’t choke, ‘kay? 

The children continue crying. 

Yuma: …Aah…Fuck, this is a pain…If I had known it’d get this busy, I would have rather had that fool ‘round still. …Right!

You ask Yuma what he’s going to do. 

Yuma: Hehe…I had a fun idea. Keep the kids busy for a bit, ‘kay? 

*Thud*

🎶🎶🎶

Yuma: Ahー Ahー This is the lost child center speaking. We are looking for Sakamaki Ayato-kun, 17 years old, has red hair and a resting bitch face. We believe he might be somewhere close to the takoyaki vendor. If you spot him, please tell that idiot to come to the lost child center.

I repeat. We are looking for Sakamaki Ayato-kun, 17 years oーー 

Ayato bursts into the room. 

*Thud* 

Ayato: You bastard…! Cut the crap!

Yuma: Oh! My announcement was very effective! Haha! So, how does it feel to get called to the lost child center at yer age? 

Ayato: Everyone ‘round me started starin’ or pointin’ fingers at me while laughin’...! I nearly choked on the churros I was eatin’ on top of that! It was horrible!

Yuma: Oh? You weren’t at the takoyaki place? Damn, I spread wrong information. 

Ayato: Who gives a damn ‘bout that!? Meet me outside! I’ve had enough!

Yuma: Ahー Now’s not the time to fight. Hurry up and help me take care of these brats. 

Ayato: Kids? I couldn’t find any lost children thoーー

All of the kids start crying again. 

Ayato: Aah…!? What’s goin’ on over here!? 

Yuma: We’re actually fully booked over here. Now’s not the time to act like a big child yerself. Get to work, come on!

Ayato: Geh…!

Yuma: Oi, brats, listen up! Mr. ‘Ayato-sama’ over here is dyin’ to play with all of ya, so let him join in on the fun, ‘kay?

Ayato: Haah…!? Don’t just say whatever ya damn please!

*Rustle* 

Ayato: …!? Hey! Don’t jump at me!

*Rustle rustle* 

Ayato: Don’t climb up my body! Let go of me…!

*Rustle rustle* 

Yuma: Hah! He’s over there wavin’ his arms ‘round as if he doesn’t like it, but he’s probably enjoyin’ all of the attention. Thank god I got paired up with someone who’s on the same levels as these brats. 

Ayato: Fuck…! Chichinashi, don’t be over there laughin’ with him but help me out! …Ugh! If that’s what the guy wants, then he can join me instead!

Ayato tugs Yuma close.

*Rustle* 

Yuma: Haah!? …Hey, stop! Don’t pull my hair!

*Thud* 

Ayato: Haha, lame! Oi, my loyal servants! Let’s beat up the bad guy!

*Rustle rustle* 

Ayato: …Wait!? Idiots! Can’t you tell that you’re only supposed to attack the big fella over there!

Yuma: Heh…You’re a hundred years too early to order those brats ‘round! Come on, let’s show him who’s boss!

*Thud*

Yuma: …Ack! Oi, ya lil’...! Who’s the one who punched me in the sides just now!? 

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi! Whatcha lookin’ so surprised ‘bout? You should join in as well!

You hesitate. 

Yuma: Well, these kids don’t hold back, so ya better know what you’re gettin’ yerself into! …But it wouldn’t make for a bad memory of the Parade, right? 

ーー THE END ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #ayato sakamaki #yuma mukami #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

[peachy-wolfhard]

He’s an asshole but he’s MY asshole (V)

A/N: ngl i cried writing the beginning of this, rewatching the season for this series has been rlly fun (except for the scene where Fei dies rip my queen), OH MY GOD DONT USE THE SCHEDULE THING BC THEN THE TAGS DONT WORK!!!

Taglist at the bottom, feel free to ask to be tagged in upcoming parts!

Warnings: ANGST, girlie u are going THROUGH it, Reggie’s a douche, more angst, y’all almost break up, reader is said to wear a dress but its only a passing comment, drinking, swearing, eating, five might be ooc bc i havent written for him in so long, smoking, sex implications

Word Count: 4.2k

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4 Part 6  Part 7

     Laying on the pool table yet again in the Hotel Obsidian after your brother and other sister died. Can't seem to fucking escape this place. It's like Hotel California. Great now I’m gonna have that song stuck in my head. Laying on your back, head against the lip of the pool table, you admire the necklace Fei had got you when you were a teenager. Yours had said ‘Best’ while theirs said ‘Friends’. Originally they were black with white lettering but due to time, they had faded to a bronze color with black lettering from the years of filling them in with sharpie. Tearing up you curl into a ball and start to sob. My fucking family is dead, my fucking best friend is dead. Now in the fetal position, you full-body sob, not caring if anyone sees. 

     Ignoring the ongoing argument in the other room, you go to the buffet trying to find something small to snack on, finding an apple. Using your knife you peel and slice the apple, cutting it into little cubes. The thought of cubes breaks you again, dropping your knife on the floor and dropping to your knees. I want my family back, I want my fucking family, I NEED them. I need Alphonso’s shitty jokes, I need Jayme’s daily existential dread talk, I need Chris’ happy disposition, I need Fei. Sobbing you slide down the wall silently munching on the apple cubes. After a cry sesh, your arms fall to your sides, brushing the matted-down carpet. Looking forward all emotions drained out of you, feeling empty. Deciding to see what the other idiots are up to you head back toward the balcony.

     Before walking into the room you hear Ben and Diego arguing. Leaning on the column you watch them argue, numb. “Hey, you guys done? The universe is disappearing outside. So you can keep rearranging the deck chairs of the Titanic if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains that we are too late,” Five says. “Come on, Five,” “It's over Luther, we failed.” “Come on. It cant be over over,” Viktor says. “Yeah, come on, Five. We gotta figure this out, man,” Diego insists. “Okay. How about we take a step back? Look at the big picture here. Most of us have spent the last 28 days trying to stop the world from ending. What exactly have we accomplished?” The room goes silent, the Umbrella’s reflecting on their past 28 days. 28 days ago I wasn't in this shithole and had all my siblings. Walking from your column you stand next to Ben, his arms wrapping instinctively around you. Normally, this would make you smile but not now, not after half of your family died. “Well, we made some friends along the way,” Luther says positively. “Incorrect! You know what we’ve done? Nothing. We made things worse every single time,” Five corrects Luther. Leaning closer to Ben your head leans against his bicep sighing. “Don't save the world.”

     “Well, on that…super happy note, we’ve um--oh, what the hell,” Luther says as both he and Sloane stand. “We’ve got a little announcement to make,” “We’re engaged!” they say in unison. “Kill me, Jesus,” Ben mutters making you smile for the first time. Taking the flask out of his hand you take a long drink before giving it back. “Now?” Allison asks. “Yeah. Look, we realize the timing is less than ideal. But, obviously, it's now or never. Am I right, Five?” “Don’t drag me into this, please,” Five says while looking away. “What…Whatever time we have left, we wanna spend it with all of you. So we’re super pumped if you would join us in the banquet hall at 6:00 p.m. for a celebration of our love, and the official union of what's left of our two great families,” Sloane explains. “Dress code is creative black tie.”

     Sloane goes around handing out their wedding invitations when Reggie and Klaus return after being gone for days. Klaus explains that they were tangled up in a father-son end-of-the-world road trip. Klaus’ long explanation ends with him saying that he’s now immortal. Huh, so that's what Diego was talking about. After accusing Klaus of getting into bath salts, Reginald asks why we’re playing with jars. “They’re invitations. Luther and I are getting married,” Sloane says to Reggie. “If he goes to their wedding I'm gonna be even more pissed off,” Ben whispers to you. Ah, your wedding was a magical time full of arguing and absent fathers. Sloane hands him an invitation before Luther tells him space is limited and taking it back. Ben picks your invitation up and looks at it, “Ours were better,” he jokes. “Well I mean it's not like they have marketable powers like us,” you continue joking. 

     “Dad, have you been taking your pills?” Sloane asks. “As a matter of fact, I haven't. And I can confirm that I’ve never felt better in my life. You thought you could dope me up and slow me down, take control of my affairs and squander my fortune,” Reginald says, looking directly at you. He’s always hated me, accusing me of only being with Ben to get a hold of his money, the feelings mutual. “Well, Klaus here was good enough to wean me off that wretched poison, and now that the fog is lifting I can see all your dastardly designs with a bracing clarity.” “You took him off his meds? What were you thinking?” Sloane asks upset. Reginald is then sent into another spiel about how he's the only one thinking and then calls him an impressive young man, causing Diego to laugh. “As for the rest of you, your training is to resume post-haste,” Thank fuck some normalcy in your last couple of days. Ben and you quickly tell him that you're ready. You can tell he’s been waiting for this, to go on a big grandiose mission since the last huge mission was years ago. 

     Five and Reginald start going back and forth; Five mentions that he talked to Pogo. God, I can't remember the last time I saw him let alone heard his name, I miss him. “Nobody wants you here, Dad,” Luther tells Reginald. “Hey, you don't speak for everyone, big guy,” Ben replies holding your entwined hands up. I don't even wanna be around him, he’s done nothing but make Ben and me feel like shit. I mean he didn't even come to our wedding when it was at his own house! “Feel free to join him.” Before Reggie can continue with another one of his long tirades, Klaus interrupts taking him to ‘have a cup of tea’ in his suite. Diego leaves as Lila quickly follows him; Sloane then leaves presumably to go see what’s up with Reggie, leaving you, Ben, and the Umbrella’s alone.

     Walking past Luther and Viktor, Ben holding your hand and pulling you along with him, he overhears Luther mentioning his bachelor party and how “not everyone is invited.” “What was that?” Ben stops making the three of you look at him. “Nothing man, nothing,” Luther shrugs off with a quiet chuckle and smile. Ben quickly continues with you in tow, walking even faster than before. Getting to what you have claimed as your room Ben flops on the bed and sighs deeply. Flopping down next to him you ask “Is everything alright? You’ve been pouting since we left.” Ignoring you and rolling on his side away from you, staring at the wall. “Well, when you want to tell me I’ll be open, not gonna force it out of you,” you say walking towards the door baiting him to say what’s wrong. “Okay fine you pried it out of me,” he says with his usual dramatic flair, rolling onto his back, and staring at the ceiling. “It’s just…why wasn't I invited to the bachelor party?” he asks, completely serious. “Babe, are you joking?” you ask smiling thinking it’s just another one of his pranks. “No, why would I be joking?” he says turning and looking at you now sitting on the bed. “Well I mean you’ve been an asshole to them the entire time they’ve been here,” you tell him. “Listen, I’m gonna find Sloane and see if she needs anything before we get ready.” 

    Walking to what you remember is Sloane and Luther’s room, you start reflecting on Ben’s actions. Being that you were the only person that truly got to see who Ben was or wanted to be. For everyone (and even sometimes you) he wears a mask of a confident, arrogant leader but in those times when his mask slips you can truly see him. An affection-starved man craving any and all affection and recognition he can get. A man that just wants to be loved and seen by his father. Someone who has played a character so long that he himself doesn't know who he is. Finally, you made it to their room, knocking to the tune of ‘Shave and a Haircut.’ You can hear Sloane yell to come in, walking in you see her sitting in a chair hemming a dress. “Need any help?” you offer secretly hoping that she would say no. “Um, not at the moment but thank you,” she smiles. “You know I can't even believe it,” she confesses. “What the wedding or the end of the world?” “Oh shut up, you know what I meant. I just can’t believe I’m getting married,” she says smiling down at her dress. “I mean I always thought and dreamt of this day and now it’s finally here. Did you feel like this?” Sloane asks looking up at you like a little kid asking for their mom’s advice. “Well truth be told no, but that’s just because Ben and I aren't romantics, unlike you and Luther,” you say playfully rolling your eyes at the last part.

     “So it’s official. My ears are broken and the idiot with knives really can’t sing,” Ben says barging in on you and Sloane’s alone time, the first part making Sloane jump at his sudden appearance. “Diego. You know his name is Diego.” Caught in the middle yet again. “Maybe you should try and be nice to him and the others,” Sloane says running out of patience for Ben. “And why would I do that?” “As much as I’d love to work through your anger issues right now, I have to get back to this. The wedding is in an hour,” she exasperatedly said, patience wearing thinner by the moment. “Fei is dead,” Ben says, reminding you about half of your family being dead and you soon too. “Yeah. I know. And so are the others.” “Oh, so that's it? You’re just gonna turn your back on the Sparrow Academy? I mean you heard Dad. we have training to do. Something big is about to go down.” “Ben, shut up,” you jump in, defending Sloane. “I wish you were talking about my wedding,” Sloane says sadly. “Okay, Sloane listen to me--” “No. You listen to me. I’m sorry they didn't invite you to the bachelor party,” Sloane says ever the nicest person in the room. “I don't…I don't care about that.” “yes, you do,” you and Sloane say in sync. “You care more about being invited to the bachelor party than Fei or the others or even saving the world.” “That's--that's... That's crazy,” Ben says chuckling awkwardly and looking at the ceiling before putting the mask back on and going back to his serious leader act. 

     “Is it? The three of us have never been alone. It's always been the eight of us. Now it’s just you,” Sloane says, Ben scoffing at her. “So congratulations, Ben. you're finally number one of one.” Ben looks at you incredulously, “So you’re not a Sparrow anymore?” “Why would I wanna be one?” you say about to cry for the millionth time today. Ben’s face drops for a second, looking you directly in the eyes, sadness written all over his face. “You don't mean that,” he says quiet enough that Sloane can’t hear. “Maybe I do,” looking at him tears in your eyes. “What’s so damn special about them anyway?” Ben resumes the conversation with Sloane. “They’re a real family. They don't exist to sell action figures and tote bags.” “We were more than that,” Ben tries to defend. “Were we?” No, we weren't. We were only a thing to deter crime (which didnt work) and sell merch. Hell, my own wedding had merch. “Why is it so important to you to be a Sparrow?” that's what pushes Ben to leave, quickly he walks out the door just before trying to grab your hand and pull you along unsuccessfully.

     Time for a wedding! Dressed all fancy in a black gown that you found in one of the abandoned hotel rooms. You haven't spoken to Ben in an hour and a half, only seeing him here for the first time in that hour and a half. “What’s the deal with them?” Klaus leans to Five and asks. “I have no idea, could be because we’re all gonna die,” Five says matter of factly. Standing next to Allison, Ben walks toward you, “You look…so fucking good,” Ben says hoping to make amends. “Thank you. You look good too,” you say smiling while taking a drink of your champagne easing yourself into your night of hard-drinking. Standing next to you Ben grabs your hand and starts playing with your fingers smiling. “Hey. I love you,” he whispers, leaning into your neck causing you to smirk. “Love you too,” you say now giving him a sip of your drink. After that Luther and Viktor arrive, “I don't know. Normally, my tush looks good,” Luther says walking out of the elevator with Viktor. As soon as they walk out Allison and Viktor are already quralling. Luther whispers something to the both of them before raising his voice, saying “Bah, bah, bah! My day! Two hours. Do you think you can manage that?” Viktor replies with a ‘fine.’ 

     The elevator bell rings and everyone faces toward to elevator. The seconds that it takes for the doors to open are painstakingly long, making you anxious and excited to see your sister. This was the day she would meticulously plan out when you two were in your teens, documenting everything she wanted in a large binder down to the lighting, and now it's finally here; albeit at the end of the world and planned over a night and a few hours. Looking at her you smile, “Let’s get this over with before I die of cringe,” Ben interrupts the beautiful scene of Luther seeing Sloane in her dress and the sweet moment the two of you were sharing.

      The marriage was ordained by Klaus who gave a very eventful but meaningful officiant speech. Sitting on the left side next to Ben, you interact whenever Klaus says something that warrants it, such as him yelling “Can I get an amen?” to which everyone except Ben makes noise. Glancing towards him he's pouting again. I’m not his fucking mom, I’m not gonna babysit him the entire night. I actually want to have a good last day. “I pronounce you married as shit! Viva la apocalypse!” Klaus yells as Sloane and Luther kiss, making the tiny crowd cheer. After watching Sloane and Luther have their first dance, you start looking at the food spread; the cookies and brownies catch your eye more than the other foods. After putting the food on your plate (and grabbing a bottle of vodka) you turn around to look where to sit. You could sit with Ben and Allison and have the joy sucked out of you or Diego and Lila and have to deal with their mushy love talk or you could sit with Five, someone who you haven't gotten to know yet. 

     Sitting down across from Five he looks up from his food and nods to acknowledge you. Looking back toward Allison and Ben; the latter staring at you. “So I take it things aren't going so good with Ben and you,” Five comments chowing down on a pastry on the table and taking a looong drink. “Rather not talk about that, right now I just wanna get as fucked up as possible,” you say smirking while sitting the bottle down on the table. “Okay, I have some questions,” you say watching as Five pours himself another drink. “Are you actually like a kid or is it some time-travel fuckery?” you ask the burning question that’s been on your mind since you saw him and Ben fighting. Five goes on to explain the first apocalypse and him being stuck there for 40 years and how he’s actually a 53-year-old man. “Huh. so you’re a little old man,” you say as Viktor sits down next to you.

     Getting up from your seat after talking with your new in-laws, bottle in hand you walk toward Ben’s table and flop down in the seat next to him, setting the bottle between you two. The elevator bell chimes making everyone look over and see Reginald walking in, making the room so silent, even the music. Reginald walks over and gets himself a plate and starts looking for a seat. “What is he doing here?” Ben asks rhetorically.  “But who invited him?” “just sit and suffer with me,” Allison says making you giggle. “I can’t even get invited to a bachelor party and he’s invited to this?” “Wow. you really can't relax,” Allison comments making you giggle again. “Y/n, are you okay?” she asks, making a confused face at you now laying your head on the table. “Oh my god, how are you already drunk?” Ben asks in disbelief. “Well you see, in my grief, I perhaps stumbled upon the open bar and perhaps may have started the celebrating earlier than the rest. I mean come on, we’re on the edge of oblivion and you people expect me not to day drink,” you say smirking “And! I’m not drunk yet.” Leaning on Ben’s shoulder, you watch how awkward the wedding has become, no one making eye contact with Reggie. The awkwardness is semi-broken by Lila and Diego, Lila wanting Diego to introduce them. Watching them was nice, Lila and Reginald actually had things in common and got to talking, impressing Diego.

     After the nice moment between Lila and Reginald, Allison had gotten up leaving you and a now pouting Ben alone. Ben and you had managed to drink almost half the bottle in addition to the numerous glasses of champagne. Now you both were laying your head on the table staring at each other, Ben laying on his plate of shrimp. Klaus soon made his rounds to your table; he had been doing this all night walking from table to table and person to person trying to convince them Reggie is good now. Guess it’s our turn. “Hey, Ben-ihana and lovely little eight,” Klaus starts. “Don't hit me!” he jokes sitting down at your table. “I know we all ain’t been best buds in this timeline or whatever, but man, do I have a mission for you--” Ben interrupts him by belching verrry loudly in his face making you giggle, still laying on the table. “Eleven people,” Ben says ominously making Klaus question. “There are only eleven people left,” “Ten and a half, I’m not all here at the moment,” you say making Klaus chuckle. “Okay. Drunk Ben clearly likes numbers and… shrimp,” Klaus says still trying to recover from Ben’s shrimp burp. 

     “And you couldn't even invite me to your stupid bachelor party.” “Oh. Have we finally flicked off bad Benny’s hard candy shell?” Klaus says rubbing his arm. “Why don't you like me? Or us?” Ben asks making you move next to his shoulder, cheek touching his jacket looking at Klaus. “Because you’re huge puckering assholes.” “Okay, but you like the other Ben and y/n,” Ben says annoyed and clearly sad. “Yeah, we love the other yous,” Klaus says with a hint of sadness. “Why? What’s so special about them?” “Because he was a know-it-all. He was a scold. He was a tiny dark cloud on a perfect sunny day,” Klaus laughs after that. “What about me? What was so special about the other me?” you ask now becoming increasingly curious and intrigued. “Oh my god, they were a pain. An emo with a preference for sulking and being pretentious in a corner. Know-it-all just like Benny,” Klaus explains about you, well the other you. “Those.. those are all bad things about us,” Ben says after looking down at his shrimp. “Yeah, and they looked great on you two.” “Okay, you know what? We are so much better than that other Ben and y/n. I was number one--” “Twice,” you interject. “And-and they ripped people’s throats out.” “Oh yeah, did that all the time in my timeline. Does Dad give a shit?” Klaus says before asking Ben. “No. he was busy hanging out with you” Ben whispers poking Klaus. “Oh, man, methinks you might be trying a little too hard. Look around. Nobody’s polishing their boots or pressing their tights. We’re a complete and total shit show. Ya get it? And our Ben and y/n, my Ben and y/n, were just that kind of disaster and it made them ridiculously easy to love,” Klaus says, sighing at the thought of his deceased siblings, before getting up to leave you two alone. 

     The speeches started after Klaus left and went back to Lila and Diego’s table. Reginald was first, talking about Sloane when she was little, calling Luther adequate, and talking about how he wishes that his shortcomings will be seen only as a rough patch. “I’m proud to call you my children, even those I raised in a revenant version of myself,” Reginald continues, glancing around the room before stopping on you, making you look toward Ben in disbelief. Holy shit, the man that wouldn't even acknowledge that Ben and I are married called me his child! Reggie’s speech continues and finally ends with a poem, Allison leaves making everyone look toward the walking woman. “Makes, no sense,” Ben says still eating his many shrimp as everyone starts applauding at Reginald’s newfound kindness. “All right! All right! Time to turn those frowns upside down. This one is for all my party people in the place,” the concierge turned now wedding D.J says, as everyone gets up and starts dancing on the dancefloor. 

     Dancing around with your new family and husband felt nice, it felt like it was just a normal wedding on a normal day. After all of the fast and upbeat songs played then started the slow songs. Arms wrapped around Ben’s neck while his arms around your waist the both of you sway drunkenly together. Looking up at him, you plant a small kiss on the end of his scar making him smile, and put his face into your neck and start kissing it. “Noooo, stop,” you say smiling and pushing him away jokingly. “No, come back here,” he says pulling you back before snuggling his face back into your neck. Leaving the dancefloor you and Ben go back to your seat. While sitting and drunkenly talking Klaus shows up and the three of you start walking around the hotel property.

     Towards the end of the night Klaus, you, and Ben arrive back at the wedding noticeably more drunk than before. “Oh no no no no no!” someone shouts. “Klaus, why are you bringing Ben here?” Five asks. “Hear me out before--” “Hear him out,” you and Ben shout in sync as you take your shared cigarette away from Ben. “The brother that you all knew as Ben is gone. And not-- I don’t mean our Ben, the nice Ben. I mean this Ben, he’s gone now. The asshole, he’s gone now,” Klaus exclaims. “But that's what I liked about you, my asshole,” you say sadly looking at Ben. “Klaus, what are you talking about?” Luther asks. Klaus ignoring his question continues, “And the man that stands in front of you is new new Ben, and he’s one of us, and he’s a member of the team. And he’s part of the family!” Ben and Klaus shout the last statement in unison. “And as a welcome gift, I suggest we throw him off the roof,” Five says making you laugh. “Ha! They like me more!” you gloat at Ben. “Yeah, I’ll help,” Diego agrees with Five. “You know what. You know what. He can stay. He can stay,” Luther says. “And baby eight?” Klaus says holding your shoulders and giving puppy eyes. “They’ve been welcome to stay,” Diego says making you smile as you walk over with Klaus and Ben.

    Almost as soon as you sit down everyone starts heading to bed. Standing up you pull Ben along with you, “I’m ‘sleepy’ if you get my meaning,” you say to Ben too loudly. Taking a moment to understand what you meant, Ben then realizes it, “huh? Sleepy? But-- Oh!” he says before speed walking with you toward to elevator.

Taglist highlighted means unable to tag: @0x1lovesonq @bryannabarradas @onmyumbrellaacademyfanera @4okkotsu @gloriousstudentoperamug @j-panic @salted-fis @siriusly-rem-writes @gamingdevil101 @sanguinelabyrinth @muzanslander12 @mihhggvggh @choichaeyiul @mitsuri-darling @birbtweettweet @choclate32 @ddeonubaby @nao-cchi @i-bitch-you-bitch @mylesofasgard @darlingsuna @blogname197 @mivzai @emmeowo @yanelly1085 @mukbee @aceofspades190 @jui36oxx @iamasimpsstuff @hawkinsbylers @fanficwritersworld @natsgaygf @divergentnewt23 @fantasyfiction-net @electronicvoidcat @benarino @papaskazoo @cole-silas @strawberryheartsstuff 

#masterlist #ben hargreeves x reader #sparrow!ben x reader #the umbrella academy x reader #tua x reader #umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy spoilers #ben hargreeves imagine

[4-leaf-cloverr]

Hello!<3 may I request leo/need with another childhood friend that joins but then starts to be cold and ignore them,and she looks really sick cause she's depressed,and (if you want) shiho confronts her after training, going to her house,and the reason she confronts her is cause her playings worse,she's ditched them multiple times (even saki which makes her sad and worried,and makes miku and the others worried,cause they watch you suffer from the sekai,and after that the band trys to make sure she eats,she comes to practice,amd that she's okay so it doesn't come to thar!

(Sorry if that was to much( ´△｀)

I DIDNT READ THE LEO/NEED STORY SO IDK IF IMMA GET THIS RIGHT BUT ANYTHING FOR MY FANS 🤩🤩🤩

Leo/Need and depressed reader

It was another day, and you and your friends were getting ready for another day of practice. You, Ichika, Saki, Shiho, and Honami were all in a band together, Leo/Need. But you felt... off, and seeing everyone else's smiling faces made you feel worse. Why were you feeling so sad when they were all so happy?

"I've... gotta go." You blurted. The rest of the band looked at you as you exited the classroom.

"I hope y/n is ok..." Saki pouted, picking up your instrument, "This is the fourth time this month."

"They've been acting like this for a while now, I don't really know.." Miku's robotic voice came from Ichika's phone, her hologram appearing.

"Should we go check on them?" Honami frowned.

"I'll go check on them after practice," Shiho said.

Practice did end, and everyone went their separate ways. Shiho walked towards your house, her thoughts clouded with worry and concern. She knocked on the door. No answer. She knocked again. You sluggishly answered the door.

"Ah, Shiho," You were hoping that you didn't have to see anyone, especially anyone in Leo/Need. They shouldn't have to see you, not when you're like this.

"Y/n, can we talk?" Shiho brushed her fingers through her hair. You invited her in and you both sat down on your couch.

"So, what's up?"

"You've been acting..." Shiho hesitated, "weird. Are you ok?"

"Yea! Trust me Shiho, I'm fine!" You reassured her, a fake smile plastered on your face.

Shiho raised an eyebrow.

You broke, "No, I'm really not fine.."

"I knew it. What's wrong?"

You buried your head in her shoulder. Shiho flinched at the touch, but she decided to let you stay. "I fucking hate it Shiho, I feel like shit! I have zero motivation for anything, even my playing has been getting worse!" Tears fell out of your eyes.

Shiho didn't say anything, but she made a flimsy attempt to wrap her arms around you.

"We're here for you, y/n. We're all gonna try our best to help, 'kay?"

You nodded, sniffling.

The next day, there was a knock at the door. You opened it, and there was all of Leo/Need, "What are all you guys doing here?"

"We're here to help you," Ichika said, "Honami made some apple pie for you. We'll help you get better, one step at a time."

#I ALMOST CRIED WRITING THIS GRRRRR #I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME DO THIS /LH #pjsk #pjsk x reader #project sekai x reader #hoshii writes #leo/need #honami mochizuki #shiho hinomori #saki tenma #ichika hoshino

[istherewifiinhell]

Carrot Pineapple Muffins

The recipe for the muffins seen here, well. Sort of anyway.

Recipe as written, on a page from maybe a website or book? I just have a photo copy I reprint as needed (read: as the paper falls victim to mishaps)

1 1/2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

2/3 cup salad oil

2 eggs

1 cup finely grated raw carrot

1/2 cup crushed pineapple with juice

1 tsp vanilla

Sift flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt together in large bowl. Add oil, eggs, carrot, pineapple and vanilla.

Blend on low speed until all is moist, then beat for 2 minutes at medium speed. Half fill greased muffin tins and bake at 350 F for 25 minutes.

Makes 24 muffins. -Mrs. W. Atkins Agincourt, Ontario

Well thank u Mrs. Agincourt, the impact uve had on my life is not insubstantial. If you would like these muffins id def reccomend just making them as is...

however... u dont have a recipe in your life this long and Not Fuck With It.

Number One alteration that ive never NOT done (well maybe once by accident?) blend those pineapples. well it very well might be to ppls preference to have little morsels of pineapple in there. but a blended pineapple slurry just makes it like. applesauce muffins. just a nice moist texture throughout idk

Number 1.5 is u can make this a cake if u like. i guess thats obivious. BUT. Its good. i had this for many a birthday. ice that shit, normal buttercream please what is with the cream cheese obsession i dont know. do what u like but dont limit urself to expectation okay. Bakes into a nice really brown cake. U gotta bake this recipe like 'well done' if u want it to have any kind of structural intregrity so its kinda? crusty? i like it tho.

Number 2. ratios. in an impluse that im sure started in some healthy eating for the kids blah blah. but its just how i make it now. I tend to increase the pineapple and decrease the oil and use one egg? how much?? ehhhhhh..... like like a cup of pineapple. and 1/3 oil? does that math out? probably not idk. dont do it like how i do it maybe probably but thats how i do it

ALSO. MORE CINNAMON. Live deliciously. could go up to a tbsp of cinnamon honestly. Maybe even apple pie or chai spices. Could do whatever.

Number 3. definitional quibbles. "makes 24 muffins" whos muffins.... i find this tends to make me about 15 large muffins. maybe 16-18 if u want to be safe from over flow? and more if u want to fill em with a jam thing.

"finely grated carrot" using a grater with wholes less that like... idk half a centremeter gives me a bad time. u want like. chedder cheese size not parmesan.

oh also "salad oil" i use canola or vegatable. is that what it means by that? [makes i dunno noise] you could sub with various melted fats. there would be differences but not a big deal. butter or marg or coconut. whatever.

Number 4. Process. Oh mostly just I mix all the liquids together and then add them to the dry ingredients. (u could pop them all into blender together if u want) im mixing this shit by hand so u know. usuaully i do carrots a dry ingredient but that might not even be a good choice again ignore what im doing.

and again bake time. Ur really gonna want to check on them to to make sure their done. like toothpick check colour check whatever. their moist so its not a big like. over cook problem i think. AND i think theyre really good after sitting in the fridge or freezer and getting reheated (fresh baked goods are soooo tasty but a microwave is also a wonderful invention)

post thought. the jam. i dont usually fill these muffins usually i save that for applesauce ones, but i did last time. i tend to just heat whatever frozen berries, little lemon or lime juice. uhhhh maybe 1/4 cup of sugar? in a small sauce pan. how much fruit. ??? enough. i fill each muffin with like. a tablespoon. so idk. math that one out. needs to be a thick sauce! (however if its TOO thick then u also lose out on messy pick apart muffin treat. ur call) and chilled. if u wanna avoid Big Mess Muffin. lmao. u could swril the jam in or whatever else to but. effort.

#some shit #howssss this lmao #as always all my cooking/baking experience is EXTREMELY. oh eh you know #when they say baking is a science u gotta know. theres a lot of ways to do science.

[ktwritesstuff]

The Babysitter (a Last of Us fic) pt. 7

Title: The Babysitter Fandom: The Last of Us Rating: Mature Characters & Pairings: Joel Miller x Reader Word Count: ~1,900 Summary: The inevitable storm

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7(below cut)

Fall

You woke alone one morning.  The air was cool and crisp without the warmth of Joel’s body in the bed beside you as your nose was assaulted by the most horrific smell.  You wrapped yourself in a blanket and wandered out to the front room where Tommy and Joel were preparing a simple breakfast.

“What on earth is that stench?”  You covered your nose with the blanket.

Tommy and Joel exchanged confused looks.

“The oatmeal?” Joel said skeptically.

You sniffed the air, following your nose closer and closer to the wood burning stove.  You sniffed the pot of oatmeal, then lifted the lid of the stovetop percolator.

“Oh my god, that’s disgusting,” you said, backing away from the horrid smell.

“What are you talking about?”  Joel grumbled, rising from the chair to examine the pot.  “It’s coffee.”  

“Are you sure it’s not rancid,” you warned.  

It was a serious accusation.  You had tried to persuade him to try the bitter tea you made with weeds from the garden, but Joel would accept no substitute.  He was very proud of the coffee beans he had managed to trade for on his last trip to Richmond and hoarded them like gold. 

“Smells fine,” Joel said while you yanked on one of the half-stuck window panes, eager to get some fresh air.

You locked eyes with Tommy from across the room as he looked you over appraisingly.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” Tommy said.

“What?” Joel said, replacing the lid on the coffee pot protectively.

“She’s fucking pregnant!”

“What?” you forced a laugh.  “No.  No way.”

Sure, your jeans had gotten a little tight, but that was easily explained by the fact that you were finally eating better and your body was eager to restore some weight.   

“Are you sure?” Joel asked, the color had drained from his face.  

“I think so,” you stammered.

You could see him doing the mental math.  You tried to be careful, but condoms were hard to come by and Joel wasn’t as young as he once was.  He didn’t always have the most accurate assessment of his staying power. 

“When was the last time you,” Joel swallowed and you watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat.  “You know–” He gestured vaguely toward your crotch, unable to conjure the word.  

You had to think back.  You had certainly spotted for a few days here and there, but a bona fide period?

“Maybe three…four months,” the implication sinking in as you said the words out loud.

Could you really be entering the second trimester?  You thought you would have noticed something was happening by now.  When you first got to Virginia you had been so sick, maybe it had masked the early symptoms.  At three months your unborn baby had a tiny heart and lungs, hands and feet, you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of a little life taking shape inside you.    

“Jesus.”  Joel sank into one of the kitchen chairs as Tommy paced the room.  

It was a bit of a shock and you felt guilty for not realizing it sooner.  You worried that the occasional shot of corn whiskey you took when you had trouble sleeping could have hurt the baby.  You had always wanted to be a mom.  Not like this, of course, but this was the only life you were ever going to get.  You had a home, a garden, you were doing a hell of a lot better than most.  You didn’t feel scared; you felt peaceful.

“Are you happy?” Tommy shouted, tearing you out of your reverie.  “Are you fucking happy, now?”  

“Tommy,” you said sternly, Joel still too stunned to reply.

“You’re a goddamn idiot, you know that, Joel,” Tommy continued.  “What happened to Sarah wasn’t your fault, but this sure as hell is.  You fucking killed her, Joel.  That’s on you.”

“Tommy!” You shrieked.  “That is not fair!”

“You two want to play happy family, that’s fine,” he snapped at you, grabbing for the rifle at the door.  “I’m out of here.”  

“Tommy!”  

You shed your wooly blanket in favor of one of the heavy flannels in the laundry basket on the table and pulled on your boots at the door to race after Tommy.  He was already half-way up the hillside when you caught up to him.

“Don’t you run away from me!” you called, struggling to keep up.  “You were way out of line back there.”

“I’m the one who’s out of line?”  Tommy stopped in his tracks and turned on you.  

“You’ve got no right to talk to Joel like that,” you said, panting with exertion.  “You think I didn’t know this could happen?  I said yes.  I was terrified of what would happen if I didn’t.  But it was my choice.  If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me.”

“I am responsible for you, Sweetpea,” Tommy said.  “Don’t you dare say I’m not.  I’ve been responsible for you since the day I put you in the back of my truck.”  

Tommy raked one hand down his face in agitation as you stood in stunned silence.   

“My whole life, I’ve made the wrong choice,” he said.  “I wanted to be a hero, but all I did was make things worse.  But not with you.  You were the one good thing I’ve ever done.  If anything happens to you…”

You had come to see Tommy as the protective older brother you had always dreamed of when things got bad at home.  You were the older sister, you had to be the responsible one, but all you wanted was someone who looked out for you, who was always on your side.  You hadn’t realized Tommy saw you in a similar light–the younger brother eager to prove himself, yearning for someone to look up to him.

“Nothing is going to happen to me,” you said, reaching for his hand.  “Tommy.  There’s a lot I can’t do.  I’m not a fighter or a hunter, but I can do this.  I can be a mom.  I know it won’t be easy, but it’s all I’ve ever wanted.” 

“Shit,” Tommy breathed, leaning against a nearby oak.

Tommy stood there quietly for a long moment.  You marveled at how much he had changed.  Whereas Joel had changed all at once, in one horrible, awful moment, Tommy had matured over the years from the volatile hothead to the steady, protective man who stood with you today.

“Come back to the house,” you urged.

“Not yet,” Tommy said.  “I’m too angry.  I’ll just say something I’ll regret.  You go on, I’ll watch you get down the hill.”  

You could feel something inside you shifting as well, like a caterpillar spinning its chrysalis, preparing for a new life.  You weren’t a child anymore.  You were learning the skills you had a talent for: foraging and gardening, fixing and mending.  You weren’t squeamish–whether it was butchering or stitching up a wound–that was important. You were going to be a mother.

“Just be careful.”  It was beginning to get darker earlier, and although you all knew the mountain well enough by now, you still had to be careful about straying too far from home after nightfall.  

By the time you made it back to the house, Joel was dressed and had a bag packed, the coffee still on the stove now smelled more burnt than sour and you knew it was serious.  

“Where are you going?” you asked, already exhausted from chasing down Tommy and in no mood to deal with the other Miller brother’s temper.

“Richmond, I guess,” Joel said, not meeting your eyes.  “Figure out how to get you un-pregnant.”  

“No.  Absolutely not.”  A wave of nausea washed over you.  “Not an option.”

“We don’t have an option, Sweetpea!  There’s no prenatal care out here, no hospitals–”  

“Women have been giving birth for thousands of years without hospitals–”

“And they died, Sweetpea.   You could die.  I’m not going to let that happen.”

As much as the preachers and politicians back home liked to rage about abortion, you had never quite bought that it was any of their business.  You didn’t like the idea of abortion, to you every child was a blessing, but you understood why some women made that decision.  The truth was, Joel and Tommy were right.  You could die.  In the very least you would suffer more than you cared to think about, but this was your baby and you weren’t giving them up without a fight.

“And what?  You think you’re gonna find a nice lady to hold my hand at Planned Parenthood?  You think I don’t know about the way the world is, but I’ve seen it, Joel.  It’s a hot wire and excruciating pain and infection and horror.  And I will be damned before I let anyone do that to me.” 

“You really want to bring a child into this world?  After–after what happened…”

When Joel finally turned to you, you couldn’t quite place the look on his face.  From the tone of his voice you thought he must be angry.  But he wasn’t angry, not really.  He was scared.  He was sad.  

“Joel.”

As angry as you were with him for even suggesting you throw away this God-given gift, you went to him, held your arms out to him and he leaned hard against you.  

“Shh,” you tried to sooth him, swaying from side to side.  He let you move him although he was so much bigger than you, so much stronger.  Right now he needed your strength and reassurance. 

“I can’t,” he held you tight.  You felt something wet against your cheek.  “I can’t…”

“I know,” you sighed.  

As much as you hurt from losing Sarah, you knew Joel hurt worse than you could imagine.  But this was the first time he had allowed you to really see his grief.  Perhaps it was the first time he had allowed himself to really feel it.  

“I think about her, too, every day,” you admitted.  “She should be here.  And it’s awful that she’s not.  It’s horrible and it’s wrong and I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for what you went through and I’m sorry I couldn’t protect her.  You’re her father, but it was my job to look after her, too.”

You could feel each of Joel’s fingers digging into the backs of your arms as he gripped you tighter.  It was the first time you had spoken aloud of that day, as if speaking it could possibly make it more real.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Joel said, the words coming out stilted and careful.  “Not your fault.”

You understood then that in his own way Joel did love you.  Maybe not the way you would have liked, or even in the way you thought you deserved, but it was something.  Right now that was enough.

“It’s nobody’s fault but the bastard who was so scared he had to shoot a little girl, and Tommy killed him so there’s noone left to blame beside ourselves,” you struggled to choke back your own tears long enough to get the words out. “It sucks.  It just sucks, but I think we have to forgive ourselves.  We have to have hope.”

This baby wouldn’t replace Sarah, how could they, but maybe it would start to fill the hole she had left in your lives.  A reason to keep going.

Baby's First Taglist: @stilllivindue2spite, @amethystwonders11, @teacupcollectorr, @jbaby2, @flyingmushroomsss, @boysddontcry, @cated18, @sunnycamm

#joel miller x reader #the last of us smut #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us hbo #the last of us #joel miller #pedro pascal #tlou #tlou hbo

[bettsfic]

Betts, I’m having a really hard time writing my fic. It’s incredibly long which doesn’t help but even updating the next chapter feels impossible. I’m so amazed—not only by how often you’re able to update, but by the sheer quality of your writing. I have a tendency to get too flowery and incoherent, so I’m scared to rush. But this unfortunately means I update every few months. All of my readers have virtually abandoned my story and I can’t blame them. Can I get some advice on how you’ve built the skills needed to update fast with good writing? Any suggestions you might have?

i can't remember if i've talked about this yet, but i was on a med to help with my sensory issues and it really, really fucked with me. and even though i was like, twitching a lot and had restless legs and fatigue, i stayed on it because it was doing what it set out to do: light and sound didn't bother me at all (i didn't even need to put on headphones when the lawn was mowed), and i wasn't snappish and mean like i get sometimes when i'm not masking. i was able to do everything i needed to do in a day with ease, without even making a detailed to do list (a thing i've done nearly every day since i was 18). i could make difficult phone calls. i could change my routine at a moment's notice or go somewhere when i felt like it without having to gear up for it. in other words, it had taken away a lot of my autism symptoms. for six months it was like someone else was living in my body. someone it turns out i didn't like at all.

i wasn't writing. i couldn't write. normally my brain is so full of words, if i don't get them down it can sometimes become physically painful. i've suspected for a long time i have hypergraphia, because the words don't even have to be coherent, they just have to be out. before i started writing fiction, i wrote a lot of flat-out nonsense. when i was a teenager, i kept long-running notebooks with friends. i was on AIM all the time. i religiously journaled and kept a blog detailing my daily life. and then when texting became a thing, my life got immeasurably better. i have always, always preferred writing to speaking, and i feel like i can't actually know a person until i've read their writing. i remember when i first got an email address and my dad sent me an email, i was like, ah! i can finally see you! and you're way weirder than i thought!

anyway it took a long time but eventually i found fanfic and now everyone who's ever known me can breathe a lot easier since i'm no longer texting them a million times a day with totally banal thoughts.

which is all to say, when i was on that med, my brain was utterly silent. it was terrifying. it felt like i'd had a major piece of me cut off and there was a time i was honestly so scared i'd never write again, that whatever spark i had was gone. i was so bored i contemplated going out, like actually leaving my house, for fun, and i was like, oh so this is why people do things.

because there were no words happening, when i did sit down to write (which was the one thing i still had to schedule, the opposite of how it usually is, and by that i mean i'm writing all the time by default and have to schedule everything else like eating and running errands), it was tedious, because i had to make them up on the spot instead of them just being there. it's the difference between buying apples and picking them yourself. when you buy them, there's a whole little mountain to choose from. you don't have to take a single step. but picking them yourself, you've gotta go out and find them, and it takes a lot longer.

there were other things i couldn't do either, like conflict and scene crafting. i couldn't really see the future of a given story, whereas before, i didn't even have to think about it. it was just all there waiting for me and all i had to do was put it on the page.

of course, there is a horrific downside to this, and that is that i'm virtually unfunctional in day to day life while i'm in the process of writing something. that's why i love residencies so much. they're made specifically for people with maladaptive behaviors like mine, like, here's a room, here's a desk, here's a hundred bucks for groceries, have at it.

i signed my apartment lease in april and i still haven't unpacked. some days i sit down at my desk at 10am and i blink and it's 2am and i don't know what happened, but i have 10k new words that i had absolutely no control over creating. thankfully i've developed good habits to make sure i get all the work done i have to get done, but it's always a struggle and honestly i can't see myself ever being able to work a full-time job again, unless i go back on that awful med.

the point is, for six months i wasn't writing, and because i wasn't writing i fell into a very deep depression. coupled with the fact nothing was in my brain, i wasn't talking much to anyone, wasn't engaging much online, wasn't reading, wasn't cooking, wasn't cleaning. all i could do was sleep and watch youtube videos. the highlight of my day was my coaching calls and the work i was doing for ofic, where i could feel a little like myself again.

as you can see from this very long post, i got taken off that med and put on a new one that's rendered me once more a ball of words and nothing else. my psychiatrist, bless her, didn't even question me when i said i preferred to be an obsessive maladaptive daydreamer who doesn't live in reality than...whatever i'd turned into. a task-doer i guess. i think what i'm going through now, the 200k in a few months thing, is all the build-up of being on that med.

anyway, everyone's brain is different and therefore their relationship and approach to writing is different. i think we have far less control over these things than we think. or at least i do. i certainly know some ass-in-chair 8am writers for whom writing is genuinely work like any other, and they have daily word goals and once they hit them they go outside and run a marathon or whatever.

other than those few people, i don't think any writer is happy with the pace at which they write. i would love to have the patience you do to get flowery with my writing, but my sentences have always been spare and simple. i've learned to make that work to my advantage i think, but it still remains: i am never going to be a writer of pretty things. and that made me sad for a long time, but it also makes me appreciate a beautiful, complex sentence so much more, because it's something i can't really do.

i don't think writing slow is a weakness and i don't think writing fast is a strength. our minds move at the pace they move and there's not much we can do about it. i think a lot about a girl i used to know in the MFA who wrote microfiction, and her daily word count goal was six. six words. i think about donna tartt, one of my favorite authors, and how she's published one book a decade, three books in a career. and i also think about those writers who churn out book after book after book and even if they're good quality, they're all kind of the same, and that's because writing speed is directly related to the speed at which you make decisions. if you're always falling back on the same story structures, sentence structures, scene pacing, and character archetypes, yeah, you can write pretty fast. writing, at its simplest, is deciding what word comes next, over and over and over again. and so i write fic fast because my writing style is just my inner monologue, the characters are already established, and in terms of plot all i really have to do is figure out the happily ever after.

but it also took me 3 years to write my short story collection. i have novels i've been working on for 5 or 6 years now. i have hundreds of thousands of words of prose in various WIPs that will have to be completely rewritten because of how sloppy they are and how they don't get the work done i want them to be doing. so i definitely understand what it is to write slow, and how frustrating it can be when you're just eager to be finished.

i'm sorry your readers have abandoned your story and i'm sorry i don't have more practical advice for you. my only real advice is to relish in the process and enjoy any minute you spend crafting a sentence you can be proud of.

#writing advice

[storiesofsvu]

Happy Thursday! It’s a very big day pascal!!!

(hint… that has nothing to do with l&o… im sorry for what im about to become…)

Okay, mothership. Let’s see how this starts out.

Okay… so… hear me out… our vic is recently out of jail, sure they were exonerated, BUT I guarantee you the parents/family of that little girl don’t fully believe it and they just became your prime suspects. (and if they don’t even question them in this ep I will be disappointed in them…)

Yeah I really like this new DA.

“ONLY TWO TRIALS IVE EVER LOST” ???!! JESUS FUCK he’s *good*

Ooooo and now there’s $10 million dollars involved. The plot thickens…

I think I say it every week, but I LOVE KATE

I know this bald guy from somewhere but I can’t remember where. OH!! IS IT NURSE JACKIE?! I think it’s from there.

That blue suit shaw’s got on is FIIINE.

You know… I think what I disliked the most about the OG l&o was cosgrove, mccoy and Nolan. Now two of those are gone and I’m actually enjoying the show more LOL.

Why is the courtroom backwards?

Very likely unpopular opinion: I think carisi would fit in really well on this show. We should replace Nolan with him, actually get him some screen time and court room scenes considering svu never lets him be a lawyer anymore (I know we’re getting some tonight but still. I’m salty with how few court scenes we’ve gotten since covid)

SAM IN THE GREEN PANT SUIT!!!! YES!! GIRL!!

Ooooo what a plot twist!! Yaass!

Okay… I might skip TO, we’ll see if it hooks me in the intro or not

It did not suck me in. the end.

SVU here we go!

Ooooooooo a JURY deliberating?!?! We’ve never gotten to see this before!! I think this would be a super neat thing to see more often!

Ohhhh fuuuuuccckkk me. Velasco in the leather jacket and on his bike. FUCK. I literally let out an audible groan and dropped the apple slice I was eating. FUCK. I am down bad for him rn.

Who’s kid is that with fin?

TERRY NAKED IN BED WITH A LADY!!! TERRY NAKED IN BED!!

Listen this like, 10 seconds of personal life is all I need on a regular basis.

Okay he’s found guilt but im assuming that the girl they “peer pressured” into it is gonna come back to bite them in the ass

There’s gotta be some weird ass connection here, OR it’s a Bronwyn 2.0 situation. The way she looked at him? Ugh.

Im over the two new girls on the squad. Over it. I don’t like either of them.

Ah.. yes.. here we go. fuck this shit.

“you’re the one who wrote the bau profile” ….they’re literally trying to be criminal minds now. They DO realize that criminal minds is currently airing right? And that they’re not directly competing with each other, right? Like…cm is on streaming, they’re on cable, and they’re on different days/time slots. Stop with all this profiling shit and stick to just the nypd detective shit. That’s WHY we watch the show and what we come for…

Welp. Adding new charges is certainly a way to go rn. BUT now the defence can come back and say that they’re making shit up just to bring a new case to convict.

I know (assume lol) that it’s the same actress but the three “versions” of Maddie look nothing alike to me. Like, that is not the same girl lol.

I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT WHO TERRY WAS IN BED WITH. One night stand? Gf? Casual dating? Fwb? WHOOOMST

“why didn’t you tell anyone this before?” coming from CURRY is EXACTLY why it should’ve been another SVU detective in that room, they know how to act, how to encourage victims to open up. (I get that maybe the thought behind it was that she’s a woman vs the rest of the men, but still).

HAHAH not carisi calling out the other boys for being divorced when they’re giving him shit about marriage troubles. I love him.

Ohhhh gooodddddddd no. not repping himself… fuck.

Okay…either this guy is dumb AF, or he’s playing dumb. Like the comment in chambers all “where do I sit? I’m Canada, I don’t know how the law works down here” and now he’s getting cocky and repping himself? Like yeah, I lowkey get it, Im Canadian and know more about laws in nyc than up here but I’m sure this man wasn’t out writing fanfic while kidnapping girls lol. Like, does he ACTUALLY know enough to accurately rep himself? Probs not. Like that’s fucking dumb. Carisi should be able to get him on so many technicalities and make him look like an idiot/rile him up enough to explode.

Also highkey worried about benson on the stand. She’s already so wound up it might not take long for her to burst. AND considering the jump scare that was William lewis last week, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still on her mind and a perp grilling her on the stand is gonna give her flashbacks of that trial and we all know how that went….

How tf  did he get a MILLION dollars?!

“carisi’s right, that monster needs eyes on him” YEAH DUH. THAT’S YOUR FUCKING JOB OLIVIA! Get yourself/your team on it!

What do you mean you’ve NEVER BEEN ON A STAKEOUT BEFORE?!? Curr’s an iab captain, I’m SURE she had to start as a beat cop… cmon.. that’s lazy writing.

Okay, but madi’s mom isn’t texting the perp to actually sleep with him, she’s doing it to get under his skin, right? Or like, to seduce him and she’s going haywire to kill him, right?

This guy is SO gross.

How is he SO good in a courtroom???

I thought amanda was in this episode?

Yup. Called it.

Velasco could shoot me any day. Sir. Please. I am begging.

“and now fin I want you to leave” girl. What. You’re going so fucking rogue and im so here for it LOL.

Okay, im just now remembering the description of the ep that amanda’s in, I was confused lol

Okay, that ep was good. Lets see how OC does next

Wait… I wasn’t paying attention, was that the MIA cop? Sam? Cause if so… fuck…

Ok, judging by these flashbacks, yes.. god his poor wife.

Elliot.. youre talking like a cop. How long have you been doing this? You know better.

The pacing of these episodes is too slow, it’s getting boring. It’s too much of stabler UC and not enough of actual police work/in the office. Its losing my attention FAST.

Like.. I watch this show for the cast as a whole and when we get arcs like this it turns into the Elliot stabler show and im not here for that. Throwing Ayanna UC for the meeting was a great addition but now we’re back to the stabler show and I’m scrolling my phone not paying attention.

Also… OC always fucks up and doesn’t have subtitles on it and that makes me lose interest cause I just simply cant watch shit without subtitles lol

Man I really fucking feel for sam’s(?) wife. This is heartbreaking. Ayanna & jet both with the single fucking tear? PLEASE. I’m literally crying.

Okay, stabler’s older(?) brother? Was he once a cop too? Or is he just playing cop rn? Is he gonna get himself killed??

This man needs therapy. Period.

“im no cop…”

“relax. I’m atf.” YAS lol.

“youd be surprised” “maybe I wouldn’t” yeah…none of us would. Stabler’s always in trouble.

Well THAT’S SUSPICIOUS

Man, we all knew this was coming, like the foreshadowing (for us as viewers) was SO obvious, but this still suuuuper complicates everything, ESP with joe being MIA.

Okay. That’s all. law and order day is officially over and the rest of the weekend is all about taylor swift. I’m not sorry. T-minus one hour!!!

#law and order svu #svu #law and order #law and order special victims unit #spoilers #law and order organized crime #law and order spoilers

[cats-and-confusion]

There are better ways to eat fruit than in chip form

LMK short fic featuring Macaque and MK being wholesome little guys. Just some silly little dudes. They're friends your honor

abt like 500 words? short read winners<3

Not shipping not fucking shipping if you ship them if you rea dthis in a shipping them format i will physically go to your house and prove to you why you shouldnt swallow armadillos

Mk flinches, actually flinches.

Macaque takes his arm back from its attempted welcoming embrace, a confused and hurt expression crossing his face. MK tries to play it off with a smile and a playful elbow to the arm, but Macaque isn’t having it, curling his tail in on himself and ever so slightly slumping his posture.

“I…” Mac isn’t sure what to say, in all honesty. “Did I…is something wrong? I thought I was getting ‘second chance privileges’?” His brows furrow in something akin to concern, or perhaps anxiety.

MK thinks for a moment, choosing his words so that he can articulate himself in the way he wants to. “You are,” he starts. “We’ve…I’ve forgiven you, I think. But it hasn’t been long enough that I’ve forgotten.” He takes Macaque’s hand in his own for simple comfort, squeezing it. “When you’re just starting out, and someone takes advantage of your naivety to, um- to use you as bait to try and kill your mentor, it’s sort of difficult to erase from your mind, especially in that overly impressionable stage.”

Macaque’s ears droop. “...Oh. I suppose I didn’t really think that would impact you so much. You know, with the whole ‘successor of the Great Sage’ thing,” he murmurs, breaking eye contact to look at the ground while he contemplates his actions. “I’m sorry, again, for tricking- er, manipulating you. I…well, I’m out of excuses. We’ve already done that whole song and dance.” MK gives a gentle smile.

“Yeah, we have. I know what you’re trying to convey, so don’t even worry about it. Just…and gods, I hope this doesn’t come across as mean or hostile at all, but just bear with me while I try and unlearn my distrust of you?” He begins to fumble, trying to clarify his intentions. “I mean- not that you’re worthy of distrust at this point, you’re better now, you’re doing so so so much better than you were before and I don’t want to undermine that, I just-”

“Cool it, kid, I’m not mad at’cha,” Macaque interrupts, thumping his tail on the ground to get MK’s attention without touching him. “I get what you’re saying too. Even after forgiveness, you have a right to be cautious, or even angry still. I still have the same thing with Monkey King to an extent,” he confesses with a sigh, making near-eye contact again. “You don’t have to forget anything. All you gotta do is move on so it doesn’t hurt you more.” He bleps his tongue out just slightly.

MK tilts his head. “You’re still mad at Monkey King? Is that why you guys are always arguing?”

“No, we argue because he’s a little bitch.”

MK full-body sighs, putting his head in his hands. “You’re insufferable.”

Macaque rhythmically scratches his arm. “He’s the insufferable one. I mean, really, who eats fruit dry? As chips no less?”

“Oh my god, I’m not here to listen to you talk about your repressed relationship issues with your divorced ex-husband.”

“Wh- he’s not my-”

“Besides, apple chips are okay.”

“You little shit, I trusted you!”

Macaque glares at MK, but there’s no heat behind it. Meanwhile, MK grins smugly at him, giving him the biggest side-eye in the universe. It only takes a few seconds for them to break into laughter and giggles.

Yeah. It’ll be okay.

#i dont have the energy to tag this dude #my writing #i have a cold rn actually #or some kind of illness im not sure what

[astral-athame]

((Okay, so... it's officially the 23rd (And has been for 2+ hours here actually ^^;). With that said, I'm gonna give ya'll a little update for the remainder of the year:

Today (12/23): TONS of baking (I have 4 pumpkin rolls, a batch of kkwabaegi, chocolate chip cookies, mini apple pies, and mini chocolate cupcakes to make) both before and after the Christmas party at my grandma's. This is gonna be rough- I don't want to have to see my mom and my step-dad, but I do want to see my grandma because it's been 4 years and I miss her and I always regret not being able to go to my grandpa's funeral in 2020...

Tomorrow (12/24): Christmas at my sister's (which is why I have so much baking to do ^^; Only the kkwabaegi is for today's party, everything else, including the pumpkin cupcakes and the sugar cookies I already made, is for tomorrow). This is gonna be a fun one, but it'll probably be a long day.

12/25: Probably nothing too big. We might go over to our dad's for a few hours (though he'll be at the party tomorrow, of course) to hang out with him and our step-mom for a bit.

12/26: Possible Christmas at step-grandma's, it depends on how she feels. Even when she feels good, though, these parties are usually only 3 or 4 hours at most. Just some time to eat and chat and such. Nothing big.

12/27-12/29: I don't think there's anything going on those days so- freedom!

12/30: Christmas party at my Aunt's place. This is gonna be nightmare levels of rough because, again, I'm only going to this to see one or two people, but I'm REALLY not looking forward to seeing my Aunt Alice, her husband, or their daughter. They're judgemental as hell and give only the most backhanded of compliments (if they give compliments at all). I'll probably come home from this feeling drained and maybe even wanting to cry so... ya know. Not likely to be a good day. Hopefully it'll be short.

After that, I go back to work on the 2nd or 3rd (gotta wait for the call) to learn how to substitute in the kitchen (because I told them to put me anywhere except bus monitoring). Dunno how much I'll be subbing in there, but they want to get me trained which will be at least 2 or 3 days of short shifts. I also need to find time post-Christmas to make a phone call to cancel our internet service for our old place because APPARENTLY they didn't disconnect it despite me saying that we DON'T FUCKING LIVE THERE ANYMORE. So guess who just spent an extra $110 on wifi that I don't even have or use at a place that I haven't lived for almost 2 months now?? And then another $145 on top of that for the wifi service at our current address? Seriously, fuck corporations.

So, yeah. Busy busy busy. I'll try to be about when I have time, though! I hope you all are having a nice holiday season <3))

#ooc. #((I already feel overwhelmed from the holiday season ya'll. This is why I don't like the holidays...))