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whatiwillsay · 3 years

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submission: we need to talk about ttb (spade-riddles)

Hey Cam. Seeing that ask defending TTB’s doxxing has sort of pushed me to finally share some of my story on Tumblr, I guess. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about this to anyone fully, so this will probably be long, but I hope you don’t mind me venting.

I’m one of the people that got emailed by TTB. I don’t feel comfortable posting this off anon, but I was in a Discord server with you and @bisluthq and some other people back in Dec/Jan. I don’t know if you remember me, but my name on there was one word and began with an L and ended with an S.

I want to share the full story, but I also don’t feel comfortable with sharing certain details publicly because I’m still very wary of getting outed further by her if she sees this, so I’m gonna be vague about some things

Request to her followers — If you see this, please don’t send this to her. Like I’m genuinely asking you not to because I don’t trust her not to cross any more lines. My dad is a major homophobe with serious anger issues who has literally been arrested for violence before, and she doesn’t really think carefully or maybe even care about how any actions she takes could lead to people being harmed, so I’m not eager to see how she might react.

Anyway, I first got an email back in December, and I was really freaked out by it at first. I spoke to one of my mutuals about it, and although we both agreed it was super weird and invasive and creepy, we ended up trying to see the funny side of it. So, I kinda just brushed it off and moved on. I was mainly just really confused about why I had been targeted because at the time, I thought it was only me who’d gotten an email like that. I didn’t understand why she’d specifically targeted me instead of other people who she clearly disliked a lot more.

About a week later, I saw someone on Tumblr mentioning a strange email, and I realised other people must have gotten them too. I spoke to Nat about what happened to me and ended up in the Discord

At the time, I felt like I’d gotten off really easy comparatively to others because I initially didn’t realise that she’d contacted anyone else. And so I tried to act chill about it because I didn’t want to make things about me, but honestly, I was extremely anxious. I felt on edge for over a week. I would keep checking her blog again and again because I was super worried that she would post our personal details publicly. I scrolled through my entire blog from start to finish and deleted a lot of posts that were either personal or that I just didn’t want anyone I knew in real life to read.

This part I have to be vague about because it would basically give away who I am, but it was only a while later when I thought I was in the clear that someone I knew in real life texted me and mentioned seeing a weird email about me. The email had been sent a while back, and they’d been shown it by the original recipient/s. Multiple people had been shown it, but luckily (kinda), only two of those people were actually people I saw on a regular basis

I’m mostly closeted, but I’m kind of technically out to a few of my immediate family members. But it’s very much a DADT situation because they’re not accepting, and they like to just pretend I’m straight. And so I basically have to act closeted even when I’m around them, and I can’t even ALLUDE to being gay.

But with my dad, it’s different. He’s very homophobic. I’m only gonna mention this next part so that people understand what kind of dangerous situation that TTB could have put me in. (And the other people that she doxxed too because she didn’t know how safe their individual situations were). It’s all really personal, and I wouldn’t ordinarily feel comfortable sharing any of this at all, even anonymously, but I think it needs to be said because her actions were extremely fucking irresponsible.

Right, so when I first “came out” to my dad, it was actually an accident, and he reacted… extremely badly. This was back in like… 2018 or 2019, I can’t remember the exact year

(TW // physical abuse, homophobia)

He was extremely angry, literally shaking. He yelled at me, he described in graphic detail how he was going to “break every bone in my body”, “strangle the life out of me”, “drown me”, etc. He kept telling me that I’m disgusting and going to Hell, you get the idea. He was having a lot of fun with making strangling motions and stabbing motions with his hands, and he kept slamming his hand onto the table. That went on for about 15 minutes, and then he stood up and threw a chair from the dining table at me. That was fun lol. And he punched me in the head pretty hard which kinda knocked me back. I felt dizzy, I had to sit down on the floor. At that point, my mum who had been crying and asking him to stop physically intervened, and he ended up storming out of the house instead. My mum’s a genuinely good person btw. She’s a little homophobic, but she cares about me a lot, and I’m very grateful for her. She hates him too, but she’s kinda stuck with him… It wasn’t her fault

He literally hates gay people. He complains about us on the regular. One time, he threw the remote at the TV and cracked the screen just because there was a gay male couple kissing onscreen. Another time, he threw a rock at a gay man on the street. There was also a time where he forced a few of my siblings (who didn’t want to do it) to throw peeled oranges out of the window at people celebrating pride while he drove past them and yelled insults at them. He found that really funny. Anyway, I’m sure you guys get the idea of what kind of person he is

He hasn’t laid a hand on anybody in several months though, so I do think he’s trying to be better at least. Like he’s still verbally abusive and controlling and awful, but I appreciate that he’s at least making an effort to calm down with the hitting and kicking and stuff

Anyway, with my dad, it’s less DADT and more that I think he’s got it in his head that he managed to scare me into “seeing the error of my ways” and that I’ve “stopped choosing to be gay” and that I’m now straight. So, if it had been HIM who had gotten that email, it would’ve been like… extremely bad. Like I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. And this is why I’m so angry at TTB. It was extremely, extremely irresponsible of her to not consider these kinds of possibilities before she sent out her stupid emails. She’s supposed to be an ally, but it didn’t even cross her mind that these emails would lead to people being outed and possibly even harmed?? It’s not okay at all. I’m just very grateful that she didn’t send one to him because I don’t even know what kind of situation I would be in right now.

Anyway, enough about my fucking awful dad… I feel uncomfortable that I even typed all of that out, but I wanted people to understand how dangerous her actions could have been. Like I mean, my dad’s got PTSD and extreme anger issues from his teenage years, so I do try not to judge him TOO harshly, but there’s no excuse for being a huge bigot or occasionally violent. The idea of him being the one who got that email is still so scary to me. Like my heart is racing just thinking about it

One of the people that DID read the email was the male friend I mentioned earlier though. He was shown it by someone else for a particular reason, and he was a very important person to me. Like he was a good guy, we were close, he helped me out with certain personal issues I have and is one of only two people that I know in real life that I felt comfortable confiding in about them. We’d always meet up once a week, sometimes twice, and we’d just talk about stuff and make an effort to help each other out with things. Like he was very important to me.

It turns out that he’d looked through my blog before I’d got around to scrubbing it, and he asked me if I was gay in person the next time we met up. I couldn’t lie because like… he’d have known I was lying right to his face. So, I told him I was, and you should have seen his face. It made me feel so awful about myself. He looked really stunned and shocked and kinda uncomfortable. Like it got so awkward, and I started rambling and making things worse. He was avoiding eye contact, and my voice was shaking.

I ended up making up an excuse to leave about 5 mins later and had an actual anxiety attack. Again, this is embarrassing and something I’d never usually talk about online, but I just want to get it all off my chest so that I can move past it all.

So, I was like on the verge of tears (I don’t cry easily), I couldn’t breathe properly, I was pacing around the building, and I just wanted to escape, so I headed straight for the doors. There was a queue of about 100 people lined up and waiting to leave, and I couldn’t think straight or breathe and just needed to be outside, so I tried to go out through the other exit which is for staff only. The security guard stopped me and basically publicly humiliated me in front of all of those people. He loudly shamed me and said I “didn’t have any decency” for attempted to jump the queue, lectured me in this really condescending tone, and then sent me right to the back of that huge line. Meanwhile, I was literally in the midst of a bad anxiety attack.

And then I eventually got outside and had to call my mum to come and pick me up instead of just making my own way home like I usually do. She’s amazing though tbh because she actually came to get me and didn’t even question why. I had to skip all of my plans for the rest of the day and instead just hid upstairs in my bedroom with the lights off until the next day. I refused to tell any of my family members what had happened even though they kept asking. I just felt so, so awful, and my anxiety was through the roof

To be honest, before that happened, my mindset was like: “I mean, if I get outed, it obviously wouldn’t be good, but I think I’d be able to deal with it fine”. But then, when it actually happened, and I saw the way my close friend reacted, I had like a whole emotional breakdown lol. It’s like, you think you’d be fairly chill in a situation, but when it actually happens, your reaction can be really unpredictable. I was so embarrassed by everything about that entire incident. I didn’t even want to show my face the next day.

It’s been almost two months since that happened, and in that entire time, my friend has contacted me once. We literally used to meet up once or twice a week (and during lockdown, we’d do video calls or phone calls instead), but since then, we’ve barely even spoken. Things are just so awkward now. I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like TTB’s taken one of my best friends away from me. I don’t think he’s a homophobe or anything, he has openly gay friends and is fairly accepting, but I think it’s just the way that he found out that has just made things so weird between us now. I feel like if I’d had the chance to come out to him myself in my own way, he wouldn’t have reacted like that. But I’m gonna text him next week and see if we can maybe try to fix our friendship, but I doubt it at this point

The other people who were shown the email, I mostly just avoid. I don’t really care about them knowing that much because I wasn’t close to them, but it’s just really embarrassing knowing that they probably scrolled through my Tumblr blog before I scrubbed it

And about Tumblr… This used to be the only place that I could fully be myself. It was like a “safe space” for me which feels ironic now. But I haven’t been active on my blog since December. I still lurk occasionally, but I just don’t feel comfortable here anymore. I did consider deleting my current blog and starting afresh with a new one, but I don’t think it’d make much of a difference… Like she’s kind of ruined Tumblr for me. I do still enjoy reading people’s blogs every now and then, but I don’t feel relaxed here anymore, I just feel on edge.

It’s mainly the fact that SHE’S still here. She still has a platform, she still has a bunch of followers. It’s been so hard seeing her face next to no consequences whatsoever for the horrible things that she’s done to so many different people. And it upsets me that she hasn’t even acknowledged that what she did was wrong. Plus, it makes me feel even worse that the Hard Kay blogs and some other people are still supporting her and pretending that this whole thing just didn’t happen. Like do they just not care? Or is it that she’s twisted things and made them believe that the situation was different to what it actually was?

And tbh, this whole situation has even set me back in my own sort of personal self-acceptance journey. I had such bad internalised homophobia when I was younger, and it took me so many years to get to a place where I had mostly accepted myself. But now I just feel ashamed again, and I’ve gone back to my old habit of trying to force myself to be attracted to men. Like I downloaded Tinder the other day and set my preference to men and was swiping through profiles. It’s kinda silly actually. I did snap out of it and delete the app the next day though. But I don’t know, I feel like this whole thing has just kinda fucked with me a bit. I am trying to work this stuff out and get back to normal though. I think I’ll be good again in maybe a month or so, hopefully.

And… yeah. I just really resent her, and this situation upsets me. Because the reason she did this was so petty and ridiculous, and I guess she didn’t even realise how much it would impact people? Like I do know that my situation wasn’t as bad as some of the other people’s situations, and I feel really bad for them, and I hope they’re all doing okay. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for them. But it still has impacted me a lot more than I actually thought it would. I thought I’d get over it within a couple of weeks. But it’s been like two months, and I’m still not completely over it

I know it might not sound like a huge thing, but being outed really does affect you, even if it’s only to a few people. Because to me, I feel like I’ve had my sense of like, security and comfort taken away, and it’s kinda distressing. Sorry if I sound dramatic with any of this, I just really needed to say all of this stuff to other people besides myself lol

Like her actions have literally led to me being outed to a few people. A close friendship that I had has basically been ruined. I don’t feel comfortable or secure on Tumblr anymore, even though it used to be an important outlet for me. I’ve had a resurgence of anxiety about my sexuality. Etc.

And again, my dad is extremely homophobic and literally made death threats to me and physically attacked me back when I accidentally came out to him in 2018 or 2019. And if he had gotten that email, I don’t even know what would have happened. I don’t think he would have like… SERIOUSLY physically harmed me, but there would definitely have been a repeat of the first incident. More throwing chairs at me and hitting and screaming and death threats. I don’t really want to think about it.

It just bothers me that she didn’t even consider that? Like did it not even cross her mind? And my dad is bad, but I’m sure there are people in the fandom who have even worse parents, and she could have got one of those people instead. It’s just so… I don’t know, it’s just so frustrating to me.

Anyway, I just hate her for what she did… Like maybe I shouldn’t, but I really do resent her so much, and I don’t think I could forgive her even if she apologised to us all (which I don’t think she even would because she doesn’t seem to have any decency whatsoever). The least she could do is at least express some kind of remorse, but she just genuinely doesn’t care, and that’s super messed up. All over some stupid Tumblr blog that is much less important than she thinks it is.

But anyway… I apologise for the whole rant, and if anybody read all the way down to here, I appreciate it. I do actually feel a bit better now that I’ve got this all typed out. And I’m sorry for the oversharing lol, I usually don’t do this, but I just felt like I really needed to tell people and get it off my chest so that I can try to get over it — L

submisssion⬆️⬆️⬆️

ok L i am trying to remain calm here because this isn’t about me. but i am very emotional right now. i am so so so infinitely sorry that you had to go through this harrowing and terrifying experience. ttb (now blogging under spade-riddles) is absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt, that she would put your life, safety, and well-being at risk over a fucking kaylor blog.

please please please im me or get in touch somehow because i want to offer you support. have you been financially impacted by this? we can raise money. do you need therapy? we can help you find the support you need. this community is unequivocally here for you. whatever you need, if it’s in my power to help you get it, i will. you have my solemn promise on that.

i am so deeply and desperately sorry that you have gone through this. i was shaking while reading your story.

i am in touch with other people and we are in discussion about the best way to let tumblr know what happened. this will be a safe space for you (and all of us) again if it’s the last thing i do. this community is 100% here for you in any way we can help, sending you all the support and love we have.

#submission #tw: abuse #tw: homophobia

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beyondd-dazedd · 3 years

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bren’s thoughts from this past episode because i’ve seen it so many times now and i’ve got a lot of thoughts so here’s season 2 episode 7 of hsmtmts (a rant):

portwell morning announcements?? ICONIC whether you’re vibing with a romantic or platonic endgame the fondness and their chemistry is amazing. (sofia wylie and matt cornett better be sending their hospital bill to disney because they are literally carrying season 2 on their backs and i said what i said.)

the rini drama?? feels bad. like the way they built up the end of season 1 with them to have it come crashing down feels like drama just for the sake of drama and honestly it’s a little boring to me which is unfortunate because i really did like them season 1.

ricky my sweet baby ricky. you need therapy. but also he was right about the rose song and i stand by that. it doesn’t fit the show and i think he has a right to try to explain his feelings without nini shutting him down. i am all for nini focusing on her own music and thriving through that but don’t shut him down sis that ain’t it

the costume reveal scene was so funny from the DEH thing to carlos popping off on kourt to seb mediating to EJ and kourt’s convo about the costume i thought it was all really funny. also carlos totally had the right to snap at kourt because wtf kourt. HOWEVER i loved seeing her all giggly and excited. it’s a side of her character we haven’t really seen yet and i think dara completely embodied that high school first real relationship giddiness. also loved miss jenn saying don’t dance with the enemy and all of them IMMEDIATELY ignoring her and going to north high followed by her also ignoring her own advice and going as well.

all of them joining together to sneaky steal the mask back?? iconic. peak friendship vibes. carlos being the leader of the group in a sense this season is something i’m LIVING for. also Gina 1.0 to 2.0 is a spiritual journey and i’m so proud of her. Ash dressing up for the mission?? that’s so her (she’s undercover let her live wildcats). the disappointment in carlos’s face when they all finished the wildcat cheer?? that got me. frankie does so well with carlos’s facial acting and i love it.

also gina baby you got all these boys vying for your attention why are you wasting your time on ricky?? ricky baby i love you but you’re being an asshat about that whole thing. the way ricky hasn’t really taken into consideration gina’s feelings is not it. he really is just kind of trapped in his own world and refuses to see anything from someone else’s perspective. i saw someone talk about how ricky is the beast in this season. like yes he’s playing the beast but he’s also metaphorically taken on that role. he’s lashing out at people who don’t deserve it, he feels misunderstood, he’s struggling, etc.

ANYWAYS that’s my thoughts of rina right now so back to the episode. EJ coming in to help get gina out of the situation with the guy was fake dating excellence truly. there’s no way he heard what was being said since you can’t see him in the background at all so either he’s picked up on gina’s reactions so well that he could tell she was uncomfortable or he had a lil jealous moment. either way i’m here for it. and again whether you like them platonically together or romantically together that portwell scene was adorable as hell. the teasing ?? the fondness?? both sofia and matt’s acting is incredible. also a GREAT parallel to the homecoming episode to show just how far their relationship has come.

the rini drama plus kourt being giddy again. portwell standing next to each other?? antoine’s use of the word fugly really shows how unhinged this show is. lily proposing a dance off and everyone being like ??? no that’s fucking weird was hilarious. gina standing up for her sister ashlynn like that was gold.

man you may hate her (i do too) but lily is damn good at stirring the pot. i almost admire her complete understanding of the drama going on in everyone’s lives. she knows exactly what she’s doing when she says particular things.

the scene with antoine and ashlynn was so hilarious. joshua bassett seriously does not get a break from this damn show comparing him to people that are way more famous than him lol. also red hitting himself in the face was adorable and no i won’t take criticisms on that. also antoine is BOLD bold.

EJ cheering while everyone is upset that it was the mob song?? big golden retriever energy. i love him.

i don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but i actually really liked this version of the mob song. they really leaned into the whole stupidity of the dance off idea and i think it actually works out well. plus there’s a ton of talented people on that track which makes it so much better. (also thought east high should have won on vocals alone. no their dancing wasn’t better but they had that really nice blend on their vocals and they all seemed a lot less frantic than north did.) also if they had let sofia just be sofia and dance. east high wouldve won on that alone.

i liked the song with miss jenn and zack. the choreo was beautiful but god i hate zacky roy. and that’s all i’ll say on that. (miss jenn i know that’s derek hough but you got two other very nice gentlemen who want you. don’t go for the low hanging fruit sis)

what was the point of lily telling them they would be disqualified if they used the rose song?? the only thing i can think of is she wants it to be a fair fight. which is noble i guess?? i don’t have time to psychoanalyze lily and no one wants that.

EJ’s face when they all turned to him for the sports metaphor had me sCREAMING and all of them being disappointed and talking over one another was very funny.

nini joining up with the group at the last minute seems to be her thing lately huh? i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again ricky was right about the song.

the couples walking out together. ft. nini and ricky fighting (again). PORTWELL EXCELLENCE (and huge dorks. i love them). red and ashlynn getting a bit rocky which at first i was like why is red jealous but then i remembered its high school. seb, carlos and kourt is an iconic trio. seb and carlos running off to avoid the drama is the gay agenda but also being in on the drama is the gay agenda. you feel??

HOWIE?!! why am i gasping i knew that? the fact that some of y’all really thought they would cast roman banks on this show and let howie go free without any drama?? nah man he had to be the beast for north fOR THE DRAMA. my baby kourt looked so hurt im so sorry beautiful. howie looking so guilty and upset?? heart breaking.

all in all i really loved this episode. i thought it was well done and set up a lot of plot lines. i don’t love how much some of the stuff feels like drama for the sake of drama but we’ll see. i’m sorta over rini this season as of this point. rina is in shambles because wtf ricky. portwell is alive and thriving as they should. seblos is beautiful and wonderful as always (i think the sassy verging on mean and the literal ball of sunshine is always a great pairing) redlynn is a little rocky but they’re both so empathetic and sweet that i think it’ll work out alright. kourt and howie (kowie?? hourtney??) is not doing too hot but i LOVE them together so they better gets their shit together.

#hsmtmts #ej caswell #gina porter #ricky bowen #nini salazar roberts #ashlyn caswell #big red #seb hsmtmts #carlos hsmtmts #howie hsmtmts #lily hsmtmts #antoine hsmtmts #kourtney greene

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faerielleart · 3 years

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Hi sorry you don’t have to answer this! But I’ve seen you speak about LGBTQ+ and from my understanding you are a part? So I want to ask I have been dealing with my self identity and struggles and I want to ask if you can share experiences and how you find out since I think I am not straight to be sure… Thank you I hope this ask doesn’t put you in uncomfortable place.

yo anon hello!! 👋 no worries, i’m not in any way uncomfortable and i’m always happy to help if i can

first of all, keep in mind that not everyone’s experiences are the same and what i went through in my journey to exploring my sexual identity might be completely different from what someone else went through, hence take what i say with a huge grain of salt and know that everyone’s experiences are perfectly valid

alright hhhhh well my story’s pretty funny actually LMAO i think i already answered this some other time iirc? but yeah i started “having doubts” in middle school. i wasn’t interested in boys, i was genuinely meh in front of any dude my female friends found cute, i never thought about dating and i never thought about marriage. some people (my family) called me a “late bloomer”, my classmates secretly made fun of me for being “gay”.

thing is, i was obviously gay but i didnt know at the time- however everyone else did 💀💀💀 i was out there saying shit like “i wish men didn’t exist” “i wish the planet was only populated by women” and stuff like that on the DAILY and each time my classmates looked at me like 👁👄👁 and it was like the class’ inside joke that i wasn’t a part of. i was bullying victim unfortunately and i was the class punching bag 🚶‍♀️

one day, i was at my (at the time) best friend’s birthday party and all the girls in class were invited with some boys to her house. i remember we were playing truth or dare, my turn came and i chose truth; there was this girl who hated me with all her heart for no reason whatsoever and loved humiliating me while pretending to be my friend and i was too much of a pushover to say anything to her, anyway bitch started laughing and yelled in front of everyone “IS IT TRUE THAT YOU’RE A LESBIAN?????” and i was ,,,,, pretty much shocked. firstly i thought that was a dirty word, i had never known lesbians irl and i only knew gay men and i kinda associated lesbians with something taboo? i think i was maybe 11 or 12 years old but it was all peer influence, i was lucky to have parents who were never homophobic and never taught me to hate? so this “hesitation” towards this word was something that was instilled into me by my schoolmates who treated it as if it was something shameful and to make fun of. anyway, i told that girl to mind her own business and i was silent and sulking for the rest of the party.

several days later i was at the mall with my parents who asked me what was wrong bc i had been behaving weirdly since the party and i remember telling them exactly “we were playing a game and [girl’s name] asked me if i were…” and i didn’t finish the sentence. “if you were?” and i still was hesitant to answer but then i said “gay” in a really small voice and i remember getting super flustered and feeling so embarrassed?? and my parents just looked at each other and i think that was the start of everything lol in the next years through middle and high school i was so confused about myself i was refusing to label myself bc i thought i was “figuring myself out” and for a long while i thought i was bisexual. i used to tell my ex best friend about these doubts that i had and she was always a bit weird about it 🧍‍♀️

she randomly asked me shit like “do you wanna have sex with a guy? if you had a boyfriend would you have sex with him? would you suck his dick?” and shit like that and i always was so embarrassed about answering those questions? because my answer was always a straight up no, but i thought something was wrong with me if i didnt wanna do stuff with men. despite that, i still didnt truly question my attraction to men, i just went “yeah i mean all girls secretly think that men are ugly right that’s normal” for SO MANY YEARS LOL i thought everyone had the same experience??? i reached the point where i was 100% sure of my attraction to girls and i was forcing myself to be attracted to men as well bc “that’s the right thing for me”. i forced myself to be enthusiastic when my friends talked about boyfriends, i forced myself to pretend to have a crush on celebrities and THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING BUT LIKE ONE TIME I WAS WATCHING THIS TV SHOW WITH MY MOM AND THERE WAS I THINK ORLANDO BLOOM AS A GUEST AND I GOT THE IDEA OF PRETENDING TO BE HAPPY TO SEE HIM BC I THOUGHT HE WAS “THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN EVER” AND I SPENT LIKE HALF AN HOUR INSISTENTLY TELLING MY MOM “LOOK AT HIM HE IS SO ATTRACTIVE OH I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM” TO SHOW MY MOM I LIKED MEN 💀💀💀💀💀💀 I DID THAT A LOT IT’S LIKE I WANTED VALIDATION FOR IT i want to bury myself in sand thinking of this

anyway after an extremely failed coming out to my grandma whom i saw for the first time ever expressing disgust at the thought of me potentially being attracted to women i was terrified to do it again and i refused to tell any other member of my family. i still haven’t truly come out and i don’t think i ever will tbh even if i know my parents would love me and accept me regardless i still think of my grandma’s reaction and i start legit crying whenever i think of that

march 2020 comes and i finally accept that i am a lesbian. how did that happen? i was watching harry potter and i went “holy shit i wanna fuck hermione” literally that’s it nothing else. nothing else. that was that. that’s how i knew 100% i was a lesbian and i was tired of pretending i wasn’t. don’t ask me why, don’t ask me how but that’s literally what happened.

and that’s when everything started making sense tbh? like i just felt as if i had a huge huge burden lifted off myself for the first time ever? i said it out loud and i felt happy? the more i said it, the happier i felt? through the years i had always known deep down i didn’t like men, i was just pretending i was, comp-het was hitting me SO HARD and then finally i stopped letting it influence me.

what helped me was asking myself extremely specific questions after that to be sure, in the same fashion my ex bestie used to be weird about it when i “came out” to her. i imagined myself in really specific situations with fantasy boyfriends, i asked myself what i liked about men and the answer was always “nothing”, i asked myself “could i be capable of falling in love with a man?” and the way i was setting standards so high and ridiculous for any human for my “dream man” was the obviously negative answer to that question, i asked myself more intimate questions like “if it came down to it would you ever actually sleep with a man?” and the answer was always a solid no. basically putting myself in theoretical situations is what helped me finally understand. i had done that through the years and my answers were the same since the beginning, but i still refused to admit the truth to myself, until one day i just stopped.

and that’s my journey LOL it’s kinda pathetic tbh,,,,,, i could’ve been much happier with myself if i had just admitted it to myself since the beginning, bc deep down i always knew. would’ve spared me years of not feeling okay with myself, would’ve spared me years of surrounding myself with the wrong people who caused me terrible pain every time i heard them say lesbians are disgusting. but anyway, what’s done is done and i’m just happy now i get to be free and accept myself for who i am, unapologetically. on the internet. bc in real life i’m still traumatized 🚶‍♀️

i think questions are the easiest place to start. imagine yourself in situations, ask yourself how would you act and why. figure yourself out bit by bit and take your time to understand what you like. don’t ever let yourself feel pressured by anyone, don’t even let yourself feel pressured by the need of labels. don’t let anyone tell you your experiences are wrong or not valid, don’t let anyone tell you there’s a set way to explore your identity, don’t force yourself to do anything you’re not comfortable doing. if you need to vent, my dms are always open. be happy exploring your identity, there is no right way to do it. and remember that you’re always valid. 💜

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azogwhoreignerstilinski · 3 years

Text

Watching S1 of Teen wolf

Episode 5

Watching alone this time, so this one is dedicated to @whowasfuckenreddieforit, since they couldnt join me.

Wowee did i shake with joy when Peter appeared at the video store. Yes i know he was a-murderin but its PetER HaLe.

As my mutual likes to say, i "scream 'Peter omg its peter' everytime a corpse shows up on screen" which might or might not be true,

I will admit, that shot with Jackie and Lyds was hilarous. The most unrealistic part: Jackie not already knowing exACTLY where The Notebook is shelved😂😂

Also Stiles Stilinski is the absolute cutest and yes, Oral Fixation stiles is one of my headcanon

Derek seems a lot calmer than i expected. Him just out here casually breaking Scott's hand and the calm in his voice when he says "It'll heal".

This man is tired of dealing with this whinny teenager, poor Scott. But Derek's face when he does it, its like he doesnt want to hurt scott but he thinks its the best way to teach him.

Also Stiles is 100% more involved and worried about the werewolf stuff than Scott, like Stiles has his priorities straight (might be the only straight thing about him lol), even though hes not even a werewolf. Like, when Stiles goes to check up on Lydia, he asks about the "Mountain Lion" business first, not at all like Scott when he needed the Wolfsbane bullet from Allison.

Kate makes me want to curl up and cry but then we immediately get some Hoechlin eye candy so i feel a little better. Also the workOUT MUSICC ISTG-

Oh no I'm crying again, because Laura deserved better. Fuck you, crazy-Peter. But mostly fuck kate. Because Peter wouldnt have gone crazy if she had just nOT BEEN A FUCKING PEICE OF SHIT AND KILLED HIS WHOLE FAMILY, CHASING AWAY HIS LAST PACKMATES WHO FLED OUT OF JUSTIFIED FEAR

And now I'm heartbroken because Derek said at the start "We're predators", about werewolves, but like Kate talking about licking Derek makes my skin crawwl amd really, she's the real predator here. Idk. Its just scary to me. You know. Cuz of the whole using-him-to-kill-his-entire-family thing.

The Scallison scenes scattered in just give me anxiety, i wanna know whats happening with DEREK AND STILES GODDAMMIT! SCALLISON WE GET IT, YOURE IN LOVE.

Stiles is just 100% main character material for this tho, he's out here trying to contact people, figure out the mystery.

MY BABY IS BEING TORTURED WITH 900 000 VOLTS AND IM CRYING INSIDE AGAIN.

Kate's voice makes me so uncomfortable, and the actress did an absolutely amAZING job at playing the villain, i want to make sure i credit her for that. She played her role remorselessly.

I really sympathise with derek, cuz even tho he's big, tough and strong, he is still just a scared little boy being revisited by his nightmares and it broke me even though I already knew all this.

Yes, before anyone asks I simped over security-cam Peter Hale. Very eerie imagery, one of the shows stronger points. The spooky parts are my fave

Oh look, MORE scallison. Im sorry it just frustrates me because their romance is one of the weakest points of the show to me, like even Jackie and Lyds as the Bitchy Duo has more flavour to me. Closeted and rude gay/lesbian solidarity, anyone?

Aw Jackie bby nooo. I know he's been a dick but hes just a sweetie, the poor kid. Just this scene of him crying and losing his cool, trying over and over and failing at getting the ball in, breaking down in the end. Too sad, and it really hit close to home.

Lydia getting her shit together was honestly motivating. This girl, i really can't handle her sometimes, but she is a queen honestly just for being able to pick herself up. At the end of the day, she trying to live in this world, she's just more viscious and and motivated to get to the top. Hearing the way her paremts spoke about her, and Lyds putting her perfect, cold, unaffected face on in the mirror made me feel like "This girl KNOWS what they must be saying, but she is sitting here with a little smile because she KNOWS she has proven them wrong". And that. That is admirable.

Also coach cupcake is the best and Sheriff Stilinski always ready to back his boy up. The similairities between Stiles and his dad has me wanting to give a standing ovation to both actors. You can just tell the characters are related in the way they speak and their facial expressions

The teacher beatin down on Mama McCall has me FUMING! SHE IS A GODDAMN GIFT. Fucking sexist- acting like she aint doing her absolute best smh.

Chris Argent trying to fight Mama McCall is funny he couldnt even for a SECOND. Like listen Papa Argent, you are hot af for an older man, but Mama McCall is my Mommy (YES I MEAN THAT IN AN INCRIMINATING WAY) and no way is your attitude helping you win me over lmaoo.

OH GOD THEY HIT THE FUCKING SHERIFF WITH A CAR.

Oop- Papa Argent just saved the day. Guess i might forgive him a lil bit for hashing it out with Melissa.

#Teenwolf #stiles stilinski #scott mccall #lydia martin #derek hale #peterhale #sterek #steter #chris argent

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follychromatic · 3 years

Text

Welcome to Follychromatic!

Welcome to Redwood Village! My name is Dimonds456, and I’m here to tell you about this world! This is essentially an FAQ, except no one’s asked a whole lot of questions yet aha.

What is Follychromatic?

Follychromatic is an original story that I am working on. The idea is that it would be a cartoon show, with at least 3 seasons, maybe more. The idea started out as just me wanting to make my own cartoon that worked with the 1930′s animation style, but it kinda... evolved from there. Now it’s Very Complicated lol.

What is the plot?

What I can tell you is that the world is black and white. Redwood Village is home to many residents, all of whom have a place. Everyone fits into their roles perfectly, and their society is perfect, and everyone is content! ...Except, maybe not.

One day, Fauna the Fox overhears a wolf calling out several flaws in the system, and is tempted to learn more. When she follows her out of town, she and the wolf- named Emma- have a talk, only for their eyes to suddenly and inexplicably change color! What does it mean? Is that good or bad? They set out to try and mend their broken homes, and meet many friends- and many rivals- on the way.

How much content do you have on Follychromatic so far?

Here? Not a lot. Written out on Discord to a friend and etched in my mind? At least 3 hours of conversation material! With a ton more on the way!

I am also, as of writing this (February 18, 2021), making an animatic for a potential pilot episode, so stay tuned for that! If it’s been a while, see if it’s already done. The tag is #/pilot episode !

What are some themes to look for in here?

I want to say a lot with this story. It is going to have themes of sexism and positive imagery, positive LGBTQ+ representation and homophobia, a trans character, a nonbinary character (and possibly more of each), racism and the consequences of it, implicit bias (which we all have, even me, and more people need to be aware of), Very Fluffy Valid Boys, references out the ying-yang, determined teenagers, different relationships (both healthy and toxic, romantic or otherwise), a few characters with ADHD, many with mental illness, I want to do autism as well and am currently researching the heck out of it, positive portrayals of all three of those, and much more.

My goal is to bring to light a lot of issues that our modern society needs to address, no matter how uncomfortable we are about it. There needs to be positive representation of different religions, and the gay person shouldn’t just be the comedic relief, and aroace people exist! Homeless people need to be discussed, and positive, healthy ways of dealing with them and helping them out. Drugs is another thing I want to talk about. All four ways of abuse need to be discussed (mental, physical, emotional, and societal). And I’m not done, but I’ll stop there.

Woah woah woah, what is the age group? I thought this was a cartoon!

It is! I hope. I am gearing it towards all ages so everyone can understand, but my target audience is going to be ages 12-adult. Anyone should be able to sit down, enjoy, and understand, but there are a lot of sensitive topics in here that I will not handle lightly or disrespectfully. Besides, many cartoons have talked about dark themes before and gotten away with it. ;)

Okay, who’s our main cast?

Well, the main character is Fauna the Fox (though I’m debating giving them all last names since there are multiple Fox families). She’s the one really keeping up morale and driving for a better place. Then, Emma the Wolf, who was the one to show Fauna that people everywhere are suffering, where Fauna thought it was just her. Dante the Dog is the local jock with a surprisingly large soft side, Momo the Monkey is a street magician (he’s also the funny one), Cassy the Cat is the one who is always looking for a bright side and is probably the mom friend, Rose the Rabbit is the passive-aggressive friend who won’t hesitate to insult you, but also will cheer you on every step you make, and finally, Ben the Bunny, who is the quiet, shy one we found out in the woods one day and immediately adopted.

How can I follow this story? Can I help in any way?

Not asking for money here (idk what to do with it if ya gave it to me anyway), but I do have a Discord server you can hop on! I take story suggestions there and go much more in-depth on the whole thing. Plus, there, you can see (almost) all the art I make as I make it. Of course, the same applies here, too, but Discord will be easier for everyone to manage. :)

Do you take asks and submissions? Can I tag you in stuff?

ABSOLUTELY YES. Flood my inbox! My rules for tagging here are they have to be related to this story somehow (even if it’s just a “this post reminds me of Momo” or something). If you just wanna tag me, my name is @Dimonds456. Tag that blog instead. :)

Do the colors have meaning?

Depends. Their placement on the body definitely does, but the colors themselves? Depends on the situation, and the character’s means of getting those colors...

That’s all for now! If you still have questions, I repeat, flood my inbox! I’d love to answer any questions you might have! I love this world, and all these characters, and I could ramble about them for probably years if you let me (don’t let me go that long though- I need water first, at least).

Discord server HERE! The link should take you to the welcome page.

Old banner below!

#faq #masterpost #follychromatic #dimonds456 #original story #frequently asked questions #original characters #cartoon

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sharkb0yinthewat3r · 4 years

Note

What was coming out like for you?

For years I was closeted and i really didn’t want to do it. I go back and forth between whether or not I thought it was unnecessary or I told myself it was unnecessary so I wouldn’t have to do it. It was probably a little bit of both.

I knew for a while that at the very least my mom knew since she was the only one dropping hints. But if she did so did everybody else. After I was like truly accepting of myself, I really did buy into the narrative that i didn’t need to do it. On one hand I felt like everyone in my family already knew so there was no need to inform them, there was no need to bring it up out of nowhere unprompted, and it’s just ridiculous that that’s something anyone has to do. I’m more than my sexuality and straight people don’t have to come out.

Anyway this ended up being a really long post feel free to read all of it, but the main takeaway is that coming out was scary. Even when I knew nothing big was going to come of it, there’s just like this anxiety I had and I think it’s normal. Im lucky to live a life where I can be myself freely without having to be concerned about repercussions. I would say me coming out to my friends/just not hiding who I was from them was a great experience. My cousins were so great. My mom and my sister, I guess I wish that those had gone better which is crazy to me because they had known the longest and had so long to prepare and just didn’t have ideal reactions (far from awful but it was kinda just like uhhh ok?) and then my dads is probably my favorite bc that’s how it should be for everyone. It was ultimately very freeing for me but it was also like very uncomfortable for me.

My coming out happened in 4 phases:

1. College freshman year: i was struggling with my sexuality after I got my first crush and wasn’t sure whether or not people would accept me and eventually I told one friend that I lived with and he never treated me differently, I think I told three other friends that were girls, but overall it was extremely difficult to communicate for me. I would say that this was a time in which I was still closeted.

2. I now work on accepting myself and don’t really talk about it with people unless it comes up for the next three years. I’m now in my fourth year of college and join an org where I’m placed on a committee that’s essentially 60% gay males 40% straight males (and girls). My goal when joining was just to be open and let people get to know me. I was still middle ish of the road and sorta wanted to be perceived as straight. I think people just kind of started to assume I was gay and it was like “oh I don’t have to think about telling anyone anything or acting a certain way. I can just be myself” and I kinda just let loose and as we started hanging out and going to parties together I was able to open up and be myself judgement free and it was just so much fun and that’s when I like TRULY accepted myself and I was like life should be like this all the time. I can’t believe I haven’t been doing this. This was more of like a me coming out to myself than anything else and showing myself how enjoyable life can be when you don’t bottle yourself up.

3. Same year (after my first semester) Even though I was very open with my friends at school, this was my first time home for a ‘long break’ and I wasn’t as open with my family. Me and my two female cousins went out for a day together in the city and then ended up at a bar where they were talking about the kind of guys they were into and my one cousin mentions that she’s into older guys and I didn’t say anything and then our other cousin went to the bathroom and I was like btw I’m gay and I only wanted to preface that bc when u said u were into older guys I was like legit same I know exactly what you mean. My other cousin came back from the bathroom and then we laughed about it, but they were the sweetest and most supportive I could’ve wanted. I don’t think I’d ever felt as close with them as I did in that moment. They asked if anyone else knew and I was like well my friends but that’s it and they said they wouldn’t tell anyone and I thanked them.

A few nights later I met my sister out at a bar for her birthday in the city. I was hanging out with her friends (who I knew just not on a real personal level) because she was dancing and making out with some guy. This is actually kinda funny. It was winter and the bar was hot so I tied my jacket around my waist (as I often do bc that’s just typically part of my look, kinda like a staple of mine tbh) and her friend is like “ryán why are you wearing that around your waist, go put it in the coat check” and I was like no thanks like I really don’t mind having it on my waist, I like the way it looks and I honestly don’t wanna pay and she’s like “you have to check it, any girl who walks in here and sees a guy with a jacket around his waist will not want to get with him” and I looked at her and laughed and was like “lol ok well that’s fine because I’m into guys anyway” and she was taken aback like “OH” and I was like lol r u surprised and she was like well your sister just never told me that and I said well idk why she would, like for one I’m not sure why that would be a topic of discussion between the two of you and for two I haven’t told her anyway. She and my sisters other gay friend practically forced me to tell her the entire night and I was like um ok. And then my sister got mad at me for telling them before her and made it all about herself and I was drunk crying running to the bathroom lol and she followed it up with SO MANY questions and was like you gotta tell mom and dad we talk about it all the time. And I was like 1. No I don’t, if they wanna know they can ask me I don’t care 2. That’s kinda fucked up that you guys talk about me and my sexuality all the time behind my back?? 3. If you just said u all know why do I have to tell you. There isn’t really more to the story there, it was her telling me to and me saying no.

4. It is the 2019th summer. Id thought many times about telling my parents I wanted to go to pride and just like ended up saying nothing. Fact of the matter was that I wasn’t proud and honestly even if I wanted to go I didn’t know who I’d go with. My parents are VERY religious and when I was younger I had heard my mom express worry about a girls mother after the girl had come out as a lesbian l o l. Years go by and my mom got me a pamphlet for the lgbt center mixed in with a bunch of other papers when I moved in my freshman dorm, said a lot of encouraging things to me like telling me “you can date anyone you want” and asking me about my love life (this kind of stuff happened between stages 1 and 2). Nothing was explicitly said but I think we both silently acknowledged it. She even asked about one of my gay friends bc I think she thought we mightve been dating (between stage 3 and 4) which we were not and never have hooked up or anything. Honestly I knew they’d be supportive and I knew they weren’t going to kick me out, I just didn’t know how they’d honestly and truly take it. And by the time that I didn’t give a fuck about how anybody “took” the “news” I was aware that they knew and subscribed to all the beliefs that I listed above. If they wanted to know so desperately they could ask me. At this point I wasn’t even trying to hide it. A guy kinda fucked me over right before school was over and I was talking to her on the phone and she was asking how I was and why I sounded meh and I just told her guys suck without trying to get into it. Anyhow picture this, straight pride has just been confirmed for August 2019. Gays are distressed everywhere. Can we not have one thing??? I share a post to my insta story stating something along the lines of “straight pride isn’t necessary and you should be happy you don’t need it. LGBT people need pride because we still don’t have equal rights and people get killed every day for being a part of this community and people get kicked out of their homes for loving someone, etc.” and I guess my mom saw it and was like that was an interesting post on your instagram and I was like lol ok thanks. (She had thought I didn’t think I was safe in my own home and that’s why I wasn’t coming out) And she’s like is there something you want to tell me? And I say is there something you want me to tell you? And she says only if you want to. And I say “what mom do you want me to tell you I’m gay? Like it’s not a secret. I know you know and everybody else knows.” We went on a walk and she said some highly questionable microaggressions but meant with overall support. At this point though like I already accepted myself so I could just roll my eyes and be like lol whatever you don’t get it.

Then my dad comes back and she calls him to the kitchen and is like I think you should tell him now. And i was like gurl what? This is so out of nowhere and so ridiculous. You’re really going to do this after we just had an hourlong discussion on why I didn’t feel the need to come out. And my dad comes in and is like what’s up and I say hey just so you know I’m gay, ok? And he says ok.

#omg this is so fucking long im so sorry #ive been writing so many novels for asks lately #ask

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paradise-creator · 3 years

Note

OwO when u have time,, can I have a haven box for BNHA?? But just when you’re free and not working on prior works!! >:( I’m watching u bish

You can use my name in the result if you want to lol I already know it anyway!!

She/her, Taurus, INTJ, slytherin (pretty freakin’ queer but I usually lean towards boys/enbies more)

Personality: the first thing people notice about me is that I am less of a feeler and more of a thinker. I do have an IQ of 125, but my emotional intelligence is quite low, so I have trouble sympathizing with others. But I learned through experience, so I don’t SEEM emotionless. I can (and will) help my friends through tough times if they need me. I’m pragmatic, so I always go for the facts instead of the feelings during decision making or tough situations. I hold a lot of perfectionist traits that make it really hard for me to be satisfied with my results if they aren’t higher than the norm. I also have a slight issue with saying no, so sometimes I’ll offer my help or enrol myself in long-term projects while knowing I legit do not have time for more stuff on my schedule. Being a bit smarter than average, I sometimes feel like I’m obligated to help others so that they can do good too (however, I do like helping people with their hw to a certain extent). I’m working on those issues though!! I’m also an introvert, and I can get rlly tired if I have to be interacting for more than four hours straight with people, especially if their persona isn’t rlly compatible with mine.

However, when I’m surrounded by friends (or generally people who aren’t my superiors), I’m very energetic, loud, silly and I have a sharp tongue. I’m also insanely competitive, like someone please stop me?? My sense of humour goes from absolute nonsense to almost mean spirited sarcasm, but it all depends on who I’m talking to. I’m a MAJOR memer, I have a bunch of files filled with them, and I couldn’t bear be with people who didn’t understand my meme references. When I start liking something, I can get easily obsessed. I’m stubborn, therefore very passionate about the things I care about. I also have a slight case of the Endorphin Junkie, meaning that I really, really like the high you get after sports so I do crossfit training like five to six times a week. I’m unapologetically myself, and I will not ever change who I am to fit within the norm. I’m sometimes told that (that I’m odd, I mean), but I usually thank the people who tell me. I have a really, really big love for music and I have a tendency to break into song sometimes when people say a line from a song I know. I also cry sometimes when music gets really good ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whoops

Appearance: I’m around 5’6”, with hazel eyes and brown hair that goes around to my shoulders. It gets curly out of nowhere. I can either wake up with straight hair or wake up with a freakin perm, it’s funny. My body isn’t exactly the lean type, I’m somewhere around the buff area of the scale instead, but as long as I seem visibly strong, I’m satisfied. When I’m not going anywhere significant, I usually just wear sport shirts and sweats, but I have a penchant for Dark Academia so I like /looking/ like I’m smart sometimes. And I have glasses bc apparently my eyes are assholes and they work too hard and it hurts my brain all the time

Likes: music (DavidBowieDavidBowieDavidBow-); I have a really wide range of music that goes from early 2000’s pop to 1700’s requiems(my faves are Bowie, Queen and Pink Floyd). I enjoy studying theoretical fields, reading, and I like talking about Absurd Theories About Reality That Make Little To No Sense. I like sports, and I love joking around with friends in the most exaggerated ways. I also love the colour green and I’m more of a cat person

Dislikes: dogs (they’re cute but keep them away pls), ignorant people, irresponsible people, spiders, things I’m not good at from the beginning, having to deal with strangers being upset, crying (me. I don’t like crying; I mean me, I’m fine if my friends cry)

Other fun facts!!

- my goals for the future are all over the place; I want to work for Disney, I want to get a musical composition degree, I want a biomedical engineering bachelors degree, I want an astrophysics doctorate, I want to study languages, I want to be a foreign English teacher... I can’t ever decide.

- I have a long history with getting crushes on guys who turned out to be gay. It happens so often and I HATE IT, it makes me feel terrible.

- I!!love!!70’s!!music!!so!!much!! I was raised on that stuff, my dad wouldn’t let us listen to anything else

- Lol my favourite playlist name is Drugs Playlist But I Don’t Even Do Drugs it’s just a bunch of Pink Floyd and David Bowie songs

- My favourite movies are 80’s or 90’s comedy classics!! Like Wayne’s World, or Airplane!, or Night at the Roxbury. I keep quoting Wayne’s World and no one understands :(

↬ ──:.⃗➹ +.*༉‧ᵕ̈°`*↷. ೃ₊✎⸙͎˚- ̗̀✧: ──↫

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┊ ⊹ ┊ ⋆｡˚. ੈ

✯ ⋆ ┊ . ˚ ⊹

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Dream catcher loading...

ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ

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*ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.°

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┊┊☁️　　

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Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Flashes of memory

- Truth or dare gone wrong

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Sero Hanata, Cellophane

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Sun drops

The reasons I paired you

- It me awhile to think about who to match you up with

- I was thinking of either Bakugou or Denki

- BUT THEN I REMEMBERED SERO

- Sero is such an underrated character smh

- BUT THIS DYNAMIC IS WHAT I LIVE FOR

-At first, you might be annoyed at his lack of knowledge but you over past that

- His EQ can help you grow as a person as well

- You have the IQ he has the EQ, BALANCE!

- You two would often have laughing sessions at class

- No cap tho, you two would be the most interesting couple

- You guys would have a matching necklace or a Keychain (IDK why but I feel like it-)

- You get along well with Denki, (IT TOOK A LONG TIME)

- But you would rather hang out with Bakugou (He tolerates you more than the others).

- BRO, please give him love. He craves your attention

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Flashes of memories

Sero: Hello there hot stuff!

Eve: Hello there Soy sauce

Sero: NOT YOU TOO

Eve: Just kidding, Hello babe

Sero: ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?

Eve: Yes, killing you with love

Sero: Dang that's smooth

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Sero: He-

Eve: I didn't take your Pocky, Denki did

Sero: How-

Eve: You've been yelling about it for the past few minutes

Sero: Oh-

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Sero: Can you help me with studying?

Eve: Struggling again?

Sero: Yes...

Eve: Why did I date you again?

Sero: Please?

Eve: ...

Also Eve: Fine

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Truth or dare gone wrong

The class 1-A were all gathered in their common room, even Bakugou was present. The class was having a truth or dare session, it seemed interesting. “Sero, my man! Truth or dare?” Denki asked as he looked at Sero. “Truth! I choose truth,” Sero said. “Who have you been talking on the phone to this past weeks? The one I keep hearing is my pumpkin?” Denki asked. Sero’s face then turned a light shade of pink. “O-Oh- ummm,” He started as he looked away. “Does our Cellophane have a girlfriend?” Mina teased as she poked Sero. “Y-Yeah,” He stuttered. “OI THAT’S NOT FAIR?!? WHY CAN YOU HAVE A GIRL BUT I CAN’T,” Denki sulked as he placed his head on the table. “If you weren’t such a perv then maybe you can get one!” Hakagure responded.

“Don’t be shy. Tell us more,” Mina said. Sero’s blush darkened and he looked away. “We are playing truth or dare! It’s my turn to ask,” Sero then said. “Actually, I am quite curious as well. We can always continue later,” Momo said as she smiled. Everyone agreed and they then looked at the nervous male. “C’mon now guys, this is unfair,” Sero said as he looked at everyone. “But you have a girl and we want tea,” Mina then said as she sat in front of him. “I- um, you guys really want to know about her, huh?” Sero said as he chuckled. Everyone nodded and stared at Sero intently. “Just tell us already, Soy sauce,” Bakugou growled as he glared at Sero. “Don’t listen to him, bro. He is just jealous,” Kirishima said. “WHAT-“ Bakugou was about to counter but was silenced. “Fine! Fine! You got me in a corner,” Sero then said as he chuckled. “She should be coming here,” He added as he looked at the door. “Three, two, one,” He then said as he pointed to the door.

“Hello, is Sero Hanta here?”A feminine voice said. “ARE YOU A PSYCHIC?” Denki said as he looked surprised. “I’m right here pumpkin!” Sero then said as he smirked. His nervousness melted away as he saw the 5’6ft girl. It was his girlfriend, Eve, and he was overjoyed. “Hey there babe!” She then said as she smiled. “DANG YOU GOT A FINE LADY!” Denki then yelled as he checked her out. “Keep your eyes above for I’ll gorge them out,” Eve then said as she glared at Denki. Soon enough, Mineta tried to touch her as well but his efforts were at vain. Sero used his tape as to stop Mineta from getting closer. And Eve kicked him away, far away from her. “Get your filthy hands away from her,” Sero said as he stood up. He then wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. “Woah, that was so manly!” Kirishima said as he smiled.

“GIRLS! GET HER-“ Mina said as she tackled the girl. They didn’t fall down but Mina was laughing and hugging her. “Girl! How long have you been together?” Mina asked as she pulled away. Eve was a bit uncomfortable but she merely had a stoic face. “A few weeks,” She responded bluntly. And soon enough, the truth or dare session was forgotten. It was replace with the class 1-A trying to pry out the tea from the couple. Did they succeed? No, not really. Though the class seemed to love Eve and her antics. The class even tried to make them forget about the date they have planned. But either way, Sero and Eve got manage to get away to have their small movie date at his room.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Author's note

Hai bb! I'm sorry it took so long. But thanks for requesting again~

#☁️matchup #fanfic #fiction #anime #bnha imagines #bnha matchup #bnha sero #hanta sero #mha sero #mha

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hockeytrashgoblin · 3 years

Text

Ice Cold ~Part 11

A/N: For once in a story I’m writing, I’m not going to be writing any actual smut. Wild I know. I’m just not feeling like it’s very important for this one. Hope you guys understand and if you want that kind of thing I have many other stories and one shots that you might enjoy. But in the meantime enjoy this also lol

Ps: This one is pretty cute AND COMPLETELY F I C T I O N NONE OF THIS IS REAL AND I’M NOT SAYING IT IS.

I ended up deciding to move in with Will and Kasperi. It had been a really wonderful three months in the apartment. I felt safer and working so close to where I lived now was so handy. There had been a few nights where Amy slept over because it would be more convenient for work. I loved that I could do that. They were very clear that what was theirs was mine even though I couldn't pay a lot for rent. The boys were going to be home from a road trip any minute and I was so excited. I still hated the road trips a lot. Never got used to being alone in this place.

I heard William's loud happy laugh from down the hall. I opened the door and ran down the hall to him. He smiled wide as I got to him and jumped into his arms. I kissed his face all over with smiley kisses.

"Happy to see me?"

"Pfft no." I replied kissing his lips once before jumping down.

"Yeah everyone really believes that." Kasperi said rolling his eyes, holding up his phone.

"Hi Kappy." I gave him a big hug around his waist and smiled up at him.

"Hi you little shit."

"I made some cookies for you guys!"

"That is so sweet of you love, let's go inside."

We went in and I followed William to the bedroom. He was unpacking his bags with his back to me. I went up and smacked his ass before hugging him from behind. He laughed loud, and heartily. He grabbed onto my forearm and twisted so he could face me. He held my face and kissed me hard.

"You're so funny. I love you."

"Love you." I kissed him again until we heard a throat clearing.

"Hey, I'm gonna um.. go for a walk." Kasperi said awkwardly.

"Dude if you need to feed just say so. I can tell you know. Your eyes kinda give it away."

"Oh shit true. How bad are they?"

"They're pretty much all red."

"I'm sorry (y/n)."

"Kasperi. Stop. You don't have to act human all the time. I know what and how you guys are. I'm not scared of you."

"We just don't want to make you uncomfortable, love." William said, playing with my hair.

"I'm not though. I want you guys to be comfortable as yourselves with me around. I'm going to be around for a long time and I don't know when I'll be like you. I don't want you guys to hold yourselves back until then."

"Don't talk like that."

"Alright well then I'm going to the woods around Mo's. I should be back by morning, I might spend the night."

"Alright bye Kas."

"Bye!" I called out as the door closed.

I was quiet after he left as I left the room heading for the living room. I was feeling really upset that William shut me down all the time when I said I was going to be like them. I just kept thinking about it. I couldn't help it, it was a little crushing.

"What's the matter?" He asked softly, coming to sit beside me on the couch.

"What?"

"Your eyebrows are creased and your jaw is tight. On top of that your heart is beating harder, like you're mad."

"Do you not want to be with me for a long time?"

"What? That's crazy talking. Are you serious right now my love?"

"Yes. Every time anyone mentions me turning and being around for a long time you get mad. Do you not want me around for a long time?"

"Baby of course I want you around for a long time. I want you around forever. You're going to be with me forever. I'm sorry if I ever made you doubt that." He held me face and brought me in for a really short but incredibly intense kiss. "I love you and can't wait to spend forever with you."

"Then why do you get so upset when I talk about it?"

"I've seen how awful it is to be changed with Mitch. He couldn't stomach the blood, he just kept puking so because Auston wasn't controlled enough to bite and inject the venom without drinking his blood and Morgan had to do it. It was really painful for Mitch. He was in so much pain for a couple of days. I keep thinking about him and I'm so afraid that you're going to have a bad experience like he did and regret everything."

"William I love you more than you could ever know. If I have to be in pain for a few days to spend my whole extended life with you I will. Gladly."

"You're perfect." He kissed me again but Mitch busted through the door. "Way to knock Mitchell."

"This is important, hide me."

"Mitchy what's wrong?" I asked, trying to calm him down.

"(Y/n) I need to talk to you in private. Will please stop Auston and take him somewhere else."

"Mitch-"

"I don't have time for questions William! Please! Just do this for me right now and I'll explain later. Please!" He was exasperated, running his hands through his hair and pulling on it.

"Willy obviously this is important. Please just take Auston out and we can relax together when they're good, okay?"

"Okay." He said with a frustrated sigh.

"See you later." I gave him a kiss and he ran out of the apartment.

"Mitchy what's happening?"

"I don't want to say anything yet. Can I just get a hug?"

"Of course you can honey, come here." I opened my arms and he fell into them crying. "Oh Mitch."

"It's okay, I'm just really flustered right now. I don't know what to do."

"Is everything okay?"

"No. How was your day?"

"It was boring. I really missed you guys."

"I know it sucked that we got split up on two flights. I don't even know how that happens. Fucking stupid. They're lucky we didn't have a game this afternoon."

"It was probably because of the snow storm. A lot of planes were grounded. What time did you guys get in?"

"Half of us got in last night around 4am."

"Gross that's such a shitty time."

"Like yeah it is but Auston drove so I slept the whole drive home."

"Poor sleepy Auston."

"He's good."

"Are you ready to talk yet?"

"Yeah they should be far enough away to not hear me."

"What happened Mitch?"

"I thought a lot about what you said. About Steph and stuff. I broke up with her this morning."

"Oh man. I'm sorry Mitchy, that's never easy."

"She was devastated. She thought I was cheating, then she thought I was gay, then she thought I was just scared to get serious, then she thought I was trying to ruin her 10 year plan..she was big on those. Before 10 years she wanted to be married with at least one child. I couldn't do that hurting for Auston the way I was. It was all a big mess."

"That sounds awful."

"It lasted for literally 3 hours. It was a three hour breakup where she kept me trapped in the house."

"God that's awful. Do you want something to drink?"

"Alcohol. Strongest you've got, I beg you." I went to the kitchen and came back with a white coconut lime flavoured wine and two glasses. He downed his first glass like it was nothing.

"This stuff is strong, you might want to pace yourself."

"After the day I've had, I don't care."

"So what happened after she stopped freaking out?"

"I had brought her stuff back from my place, she threw it everywhere and broke stuff. I didn't have much at her place but she threw all that stuff too. Only broke one thing though and luckily it wasn't that important."

"That's insane."

"It legit was the worse case scenario."

We kept drinking as he explained what happened with Stephanie. I was shocked. I understood heartbreak but I didn't understand psychotic meltdown. The more he explained it, the less sense she made and the drunker we got. I was only tipsy but Mitch was getting pretty drunk. He was laying on the floor with his feet up on the couch still.

"So wait how did that turn into you running away from Aus?"

"Oh shit right! So basically I came home upset, as you can imagine. Auston wasn't home until a couple hours later. I was in bed sad and he came in. He asked me what was wrong and I told him what happened. He tried to cheer me up but it wasn't working so he volunteered to bring me here to talk to you, see if you could help I guess."

"That makes sense so far."

"So we're walking and suddenly out of fucking nowhere he unblocks his thoughts!"

"Oh for fuck sakes." I said face palming.

"I was so surprised that I could hear him again I didn't even realize what he was thinking. His mind's voice was screaming at me though. Yelling for me to pay attention so I did and God it was intense. It was so much and I was so overwhelmed."

"Oh jeez."

"Oh jeez is right! Like it was every thought he's had about me was right there."

"That is a lot. I can't even imagine that."

"I thought he didn't even like me but he loves me (y/n), he really does. He's not grossed out that I'm a guy, he's not worried about me being young or annoying..he's not ashamed of me. He loves me."

"I know honey, I figured it out when I was talking to him like a month ago. I told him to unblock his thoughts."

"You told him to do this?!"

"I suggested it because it might be easier for him than working up the nerve to talk about it. I meant for him to do once he was out of that cell not after you broke up with your girlfriend."

"I don't care. I want to know. I'm so happy that I know. I love him so much. I can't believe I just took off."

"Do you want me to get them back?"

"Yes I need to see him. I need to talk."

"Okay I text William and he said they'll be here in a couple minutes."

"I can't wait. I'm gonna kiss him as soon as I see him." He said smiling and kicking his legs a little. I laughed at how cute he was. We were quiet for a little while, I didn't know if he wanted to talk anymore or not. After a minute I spoke up again though. I couldn't keep my mouth shut if I tried.

"You doin okay down there?"

"Yeah I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"Auston."

"What about him?"

"I just hope I didn't ruin everything."

"You didn't." Auston and I said at the same time. I whipped around making William snort, I hadn't heard them come in.

"Aus, I'm sorry for running." Mitch said getting up. He stumbled a bit but ran over to him pulling his head down to smash their lips together in a sloppy kiss. "I'm sorry I was just really overwhelmed."

"Don't be sorry. I was a little shit to do that to you after today. I'm sorry, Mouse." He said into Mitch's hair as he held him close.

"It's okay. It's okay. Can we talk more about this tomorrow? I don't want to be drunk for it."

"Of course we can. I'll give you all the time you need."

"Can you take me home? I wanna go back home."

"Absolutely. We can do whatever you want." He kissed Mitch's head and pulled away holding his hand.

"Sorry that we interrupted your guy's night." Mitch said swaying into Auston. "And drank all your wine."

"It's okay Mitchy, no harm done."

Mitch gave me a big hug and to my surprise Auston gave me a hug too. It wasn't like the one Mitch gave, it was only a one arm thing but I was still surprised.

"Thank you for everything." He whispered to me before they left. We waved goodbye as they left the apartment and shut the door behind themselves. William wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me close to him.

"You did that babygirl. That happiness? You help them find it. You're incredible."

"I just wanted them to be happy. Auston was having a really hard time, Mitchy was really upset. I didn't like it."

"You're so lovely."

"Will stop." I said blushing.

"No. You're the sweetest girl I've ever met in my life." He lifted me up and I squealed, wrapping my limbs around him.

"I am so in love with you."

"And I with you." He smiled the prettiest smile I had ever seen in my life and I couldn't help but smile back. He sat me on the kitchen counter which was a surprise because I didn't know we were moving at all, so wrapped up in the beauty of him.

"You guys can do normal pictures right?"

"Love you literally take pictures of me for a living." He teased kissing my nose.

"Yeah but that's with a professional camera I was just wondering with phones and stu- okay. Stop laughing at me you ass." I hit his shoulder angry.

"Baby how can I not? You should know the answer."

"Maybe I'm drunker than previously thought."

"Yeah those cheeks are awfully rosy. Get into the wine did we?"

"Don't pinch my cheeks! I'm not a child." I smacked his hand.

"Oou a violent drunk." He teased again, grabbing my wrists and pinning them beside my head on the cupboards. I whimpered lightly. "You okay?"

"Um yes."

"Why are you making those little sounds?" He asked breathing against my neck while running his bottom lip against it. I shivered and he chuckled. "Use your words baby."

"I um..I like this. A lot. Too much probably."

"Yeah? You're into giving up control?"

"Y-yeah.. I like it a lot."

"We can play around with these kinds of things later on if you want? I'd like to explore the things you like."

"I want to do that too with you." I tried to kiss him but he pulled back biting the smirk on his lips. "Kiss me right now."

"Ah, ah, ah baby. Be patient."

"I caaaan't."

"Fine, I'll let it slide this time you big baby."

"Your baby."

"Yes darling, my baby." He let my hands go to grip my hips.

"Please?"

He didn't answer, just pressed his lips to mine in a fevered kiss. It was really intense and my head was spinning. He ran his tongue across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth slightly to meet his tongue. I wrapped my hands into his hair and pulled him closer to me. We were making out pretty heavily until the door opened and Kappy walked in.

"Oh shit, sorry! I uh decided to come back. Mo and Tessa were fighting. Forget I was here." He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"It's fine Kas." William said stepping away from me.

"Your ugly face kinda ruined the mood anyway."

"Excuse me?! My ugly face? Have you seen my face? I'm gorgeous."

"Sure Kappy if you say so." I shrugged.

"I'm going to bed, I've had enough drunk (y/n) nonsense."

"I'm not that drunk!"

"Whatever." He called closing his door.

"I'm sorry that we got interrupted princess."

"It's okay Will. I wasn't kidding though, he did ruin the mood."

"I'm glad he did."

"Why?"

"I wouldn't have been able to stop and I have plans for us next weekend. Special plans."

"Just us?"

"Yeah. A little vacation just you and me."

"What are these plans?"

"I've rented a cabin for the weekend. I have a game Friday night but the plan is to leave that night after the game to go up north to Bracebridge. We stay all day Saturday and Sunday. We leave Sunday night after dinner to come back for work Monday."

"I love that! You're not gonna try to make me ski or something are you?" I asked suspiciously, eyeing him up.

"You ski? Absolutely not darling. I'm not even going to risk that. No we're probably going to be inside for the most part. Aside from those winter walks through the woods you like so much."

"Can we try to feed birds?!" I asked getting excited.

"You can try. I don't think I'll have much success."

"How come?"

"Animals don't usually like vampires much. There's always exceptions but most don't want anything to do with us."

"Fair enough I suppose. But! You can stay super still so maybe birds will want something to do with you!"

"We shall see baby, we shall see."

"I'm so excited to go spend time just us. It sounds romantic!"

"It will be."

#nhl imagine #nhl story #hockey #hockey story #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #toronto maple leafs #maple leafs #maple leaf imagine #maple leaf #william nylander #william nylander x reader #mitch marner #kasperi kapanen #morgan rielly #auston matthews #halloween #vampire

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yikesharringrove · 4 years

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hello!! i was just wondering if there is anything like au’s, kinks etc. that you really don’t vibe with so that myself or anyone else won’t make you uncomfortable by asking you to write about it. much love 💕

Honestly, there’s not a lot I WON’T write. Even if it’s not something I’m into as a human (like kinks and stuff) I’ll still write it, even if it icks me out a little. honestly, my hard lines are like hard lines.

I also want to say who I’ll write. I’m a Harringrove blog, first and fucking FOREMOST, but I love Stommy, Keg Boys, and Buckleway, and would be down as hell to write Stonathan and Stoncy. ( I LOVE Jonathan, but I have trouble writing Nancy. Just can’t find her voice really.)

I’ll put them under the cut bc I’m gonna talk about stuff people may want to avoid, plus she’s LONG

So, I WILL NOT write incest. That includes Billy/Max bc in my brain and how I like to write them is as brother and sister, that they’ve fixed their relationship, so yes. Which leads me to...

I won’t write for any of the kids in a sexual context. Most of the actors are minors, are that makes me feel yucky to think about writing these characters that way. When I’m writing a sex scene between Billy and Steve, in the show, yeah they are teens and that IS underage, but you’re thinking of characters played by ADULTS. Joe Keery is like, almost thirty. He’s a GROWN MAN. That’s why I won’t write the kids like that. This includes writing kid/teen like Billy/Max of Steve/Dustin and aged up, because it just makes me feel weird picturing these real life CHILDREN somehow aged up in sexual situations.

As far as content, I’m okay with most things, including triggering topics. I try my best to give proper tags and warnings, and if it’s something I DON’T have experience with, I do A LOT of research for my fics. I’ve also gone through some serious shit and use writing as an outlet for it, so I don’t mind writing heavy topics. Things that trigger me specifically, are like super weird things (ex: the song Dancing Queen. Yeah. I fucking know. Used to love that song and now I can’t fucking listen to it) so I have the emotional energy to write pretty dark stuff.

I hate Karen Wheeler and fully refuse to write Karen/Billy (outside of like, Karen hit on Billy and it was grsss!) that’s BIG YIKES to me and their scenes made me v uncomfy. I don’t think I could write Billy/Hopper or Steve/Hopper either, they need him as a father, not a daddy.

I won’t write Harringrove as abusive. These two mean the WORLD to me, and tbh they’ve both dealt with enough abuse. Sometimes I’ll see dark fics where one of them is going through something and becomes abusive towards the other in some way, and that’s just not my jam in a pretty big way. I love fluff and softness for these two because they deserve it, and that’s what I write. Most of my angst has happy endings too.

As far as kinks, that’s my hardest line. Like I said, most shit I will write. There’s a lot of kinks I don’t know much about, or would never be interested in trying myself, but I don’t mind researching it to write it. How I actually write kink is to find articles written by people who participate in and enjoy that kink so I can get more of an understanding of it, what it feels like, and why they participate in it/enjoy it, and then usually watch some porn of it. (which is SO FUNNY bc I’m watching like, hardcore kinky porn squinting at the screen with my glasses on figuring out how I’m gonna write and describe stuff lmao) so most kinks I’m fine with putting in the hours. With a lot of kink stuff I feel as long as everyone participating in it is consenting and in a safe environment, then go right ahead! So I’m not weirded or grossed out by much.

HOWEVER. Kinks I won’t write: -Shit. Usually I’m pretty live and let live, scat play is GROSS. Straight up. Full offense meant. Kink shaming is intentional. -Age regression during sex. I’m okay with writing Daddy Kink, and I wouldn’t mind putting in more research to write age regression outside of sex, but I DO NOT want to write something where they are actively pretending one of the participants is a child. That feels kinda questionable to me. Along with this is diapers and things like that in any context. From research I HAVE put into daddy kink, it’s not about actually pretending the dom is your father, it’s more about being taken care of. I am fine with all that, but to have the sub be pretending to be a child just makes something in me feel off when it is in a sexual context. Again, I’d be down to put in the research if you want to request someone who lives as a little or in a state of age regression and have the other person take care of them like a child. It would be pure fluff. I just wanted to make that VERY clear. -Blood in kissing. You’ll see in a lot of Harringrove when Billy has a split lip and they kiss Steve can taste the blood or something, that makes me feel REAL ick. HOWEVER, I’m a big dumb slut for vampires, and am good to write that, or gore, or even some murder boyfriends, it’s just when someone gets blood that’s not there’s in their mouth that’s pretty yikes for me. -Petplay is fine but I don’t want like, actually anthropomorphic

Honestly, I think that’s like, it? I was seriously thinking of kinks that like, personally I would NEVER want to try but like, I would write them. I don’t care. \

One thing you may or may not have noticed is that I don’t use the F-slur. I spent a lot of my life dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia. I identify as queer, (I always write Steve how I feel, where I fall in love with people above being sexually attracted to just like, a gender as a whole and personally, I can’t have sex without emotional intimacy, but that’s more of a trauma thing) I come from a really conservative place and struggled a lot with my sexuality and thought because I do like guys and have feelings for guys, I’m just straight and pushed down all of my other feelings for people of other genders away. It was actually really recently, after I went to college in a liberal city and met all different kinds of queer people I realized that 1. I have had feelings for LOTS of different people throughout my life (I was deeply in love with my best friend in high school in a SUPER gay way and just kept pretending I wasn’t lol) and 2. I don’t have to label myself if I don’t feel comfortable with that. So I call myself queer. Because I considered myself straight, literally until I was like, nineteen, I always thought of the F-slur as the same way I do the N-slur. I believe the word can be reclaimed by people in the groups it was used to dehumanize, but since I felt I WASN’T part of the LGBT+ community, I never used it. Even now that I have accepted that part of myself, the word just still feels very wrong for me to use. I don’t mind reading it, and it’s used really often in Harringrove fics bc Neil LITERALLY says it in canon, but I just can’t bring myself to type it out, so I just don’t. That’s a SUPER weird side note, but that’s why you may see in stuff I’ll skirt around Neil or Billy saying it.

So basically, I’m comfortable writing most things. Sometimes, requests may take longer because I NEED to put more thought into it, or more research or I want to get it right, for example the one I just posted with nb Steve and trans Billy, I did a lot of research and read a lot of things written by trans and nb people about their experiences and feelings, etc. as I’m a cis person and didn’t want it to be insensitive or fetishy or just straight up BAD. But I LOVE writing so FUCKING much, I will put in the time and do research to see your head canons and thoughts come to life.

One thing that takes me FOREVER is historical type prompts. I’m BAD at history, like remembering stuff in general, so while I LOVE to take prompts set in different time periods, please know it’ll take me a thousand years to fill.

If you read all this, thank you, and I’m sorry for going on weird tangents about stuff, I’m kinda weird and my brain doesn’t move in one direction lol. Please keep putting in requests and letting me into your ideas! I love it!

#yikes talks #yikes writes #Things I Won't Write #yikes won't write

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #291

“clothes trailing from the backdoor, to the bedroom, and i don’t even know your name.”

What was the last health scare you had? So I got blood tests done recently to check multiple things, and I got pretty nervous when my doctor stood beside me going through the numbers and what they meant. I was afraid she was going to tell me I had diabetes (runs in the fam, and my diet hadn't been great) or something, but I was fine. What is your favorite food to cook? Something in the microwave lmao. Do you listen to bluegrass music? Ew. What was the last novel you read about? Well it' s part of a series so it'd be hard to explain briefly... but dragons. That'll do ig, lol. If there is a tree right outside your window, what kind is it? There's a small one. Idk what it is. What is your favorite filling for a piece of chocolate? Caramel. What is your favorite thing to draw? If you take a look at my work history... I apparently love drawing meerkats screaming for one reason or another lmao. Do you like abstract art? Not very much. There are of course exceptions to this, but it's definitely not my favorite and sometimes doesn't even feel like "art" to me. Would you ever want to be a painter? No. My Painting course in school taught me it's too damn stressful, the idea of messing up. Even though it's technically fixable. There's just a lot about painting I don't like. I'd much rather draw and color traditionally. What is your passion? Some of my biggest consists of gay rights (or really just equal rights as a whole), meerkats, pacifism, photography, just art in general, stuff like that. I feel things very deeply, so there's really a lot. What fascinates you? NATURE!!!!!!! SO MUCH ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Do you have art on your walls? In my room, I have three of my meerkat projects on the wall with my meerkat collection, and my Pyramid Head/Halo of the Sun overlap drawing is with my Silent Hill stuff. What kind of collection would you like to start? I have a decent amount of stuff, but I really would love to pump up my SH collection. It has SO much merch that I would die for, stuff is just mad expensive. If I was to start a new collection, bitch I need Markiplier stuff so bad, I'm too awkward to ask for that shit for holidays 'n stuff. ;;_;; Do you enjoy the sound of birds chirping? I sure do. If you had the money, would you travel the world? I feel like I'd go to less locations than most people you could ask this question, but I'd definitely go places, yeah. If you could travel the world, which country would you want to go to first? South Africa. Make my meerkat dreams come true. :') Do you get drunk? I haven't before, and I don't actually aim to when I drink (which is very rare) and I'm apparently no lightweight, so I doubt I ever will. Don't feel like I'm missing out, honestly. Do you get high? Nah. Have you ever used a prescription medication to get high? No. Does sunlight make you happier? Guys. This is science. I used to hate the sun so much, but it's good for you. Open your windows on a clear day; your body will thank you. It takes getting used to, but please, don't coop yourself up in the dark. Do you live a boring life? My life is excruciatingly boring. Like not to sound depressing, but half the time I wish I wasn't even alive because I'm so bored lmao. Have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? Do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse? No, but it's been threatened upon me. I don't support it, no, but then again I don't believe in traditional "profanity." My hypothetical four-year-old could say "that fucking hurt" in our own household, and just a simple word indicating (s)he was really in pain wouldn't faze me for a blink. I do believe out of respect though, that you should educate your children when "profanity" isn't allowed, like in school and such. You don't shove potentially toxic shit into your kid's mouth to teach them something. What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore? This definitely depends on the child. Are they spooked easily? How mature are they? Do they understand what's not to be replicated? It would vary with the film, too. Do you have any wind chimes outside your house? How many? No, but I'd love to. Wind chimes are great. Do you have a flat stomach? Would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off? I hate my stomach more than I do any other part of my body, so guess. Would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)? omfg hell YES Do you think your biological parents love each other? They're long-divorced and Dad's been remarried for a long time while Mom only has negative shit to say about him, so like... What's one movie you’re dying to see but haven’t had the chance to see yet? *Dying* to, I don't know if one exists. Birds of Prey probably tops my want-to-see list, though. Harley moving past Joker? Girl you fuckin go ilu. What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? To never leave me because of my illnesses. Nope, he sure didn't. Does thunder & storms scare you? Nah, not usually. It's funny, I was TERRIFIED of them as a kid, especially if I wasn't with my mom, but now I find them beautiful and sometimes even relaxing. Now, wind, I fucking hate wind. I associate bad winds with tornadoes, so fuck outta here w/ that. Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google. Do you sing in front of people? NO. Who are you the most uncomfortable around? Groups of older men. Are your parents overprotective? No. A recent creation that you’re proud of? I took family pictures for a repeat client recently, and I'm really happy with how some came out. Who’s your favorite comedian? Living, I'm unsure. It was John Pinette. What makes you squeamish? Vomit and fecal matter top the list. Do you have any online friends that you wanna keep, but not meet? Maybe a couple that I don't know too well? Should cloning ever be allowed to happen? No. I see a lot of potential problems with that should it become a serious thing. Who would you live with if you got kicked out tomorrow? Probably my dad. What’s a pet your parents never let you have when you were a kid? A snake. I was eventually allowed though obviously, and now Mom loves Venus, though she won't hold her. Who do you wish you could change, if anyone? It's not my job to change anyone else. You have to want to change. Has your house ever been broken into? No, but my childhood home almost was by a gang. My older sister and her best friend were home alone at the time. Thank fuck they didn't get in, but they left a gang flag on our porch. Would you consider yourself a good flirt? I have no idea. What color do you wear most often? You mean to tell me black isn't the only primary color in people's wardrobes? Do you like your hair? Disregarding the fact it gets oily way too fast, yes. Have you ever driven while under the influence? No, I would absolutely never. Did you enjoy your last kiss? Yeah. Would you ever take boudoir photos for a significant other? (or have you?) Considering I literally love boudoir, I would if I didn't hate the fuck outta my body and would be too embarrassed to ever do it. What is your biggest guilty pleasure? Maybe makeup guru channels lmaooo. What is a movie that you thought you would hate but actually ending up enjoying? I'm unsure. I don't really go into watching a movie I think I'll hate, especially when I watch so few movies to begin with. Do you like where you live? I'm not a fan of the suburbs, but it's a better place than where we were. Are you a jealous person? I'm learning that apparently I might be, at least sometimes. Is there anyone you want to fix things with? There are a few. Last time you walked further than a block? I couldn't tell you. I walk a few feet (that's not an exaggeration) and am in pain because of the muscle atrophy in my legs. Is it easy for you to accept loss? NO. NUH-UH. NOPE. Do you get dessert normally while out to eat? No. Who was your first kiss? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. Have you ever found a stray dog & found its owners? Not that I recall. Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually? Not everything, no. When was the last time you told someone you love them? Last night. Who was the last person you talked to last night in person before bed? Ma. When was the last time that you were genuinely happy? Good damn question. Have you ever dyed your hair? Plenty of times. Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? Yeah. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? I don't know; when you hate your body enough, you'll do a lot to avoid that. Last person you kissed, have you cried in front of them? Yes. Ever dated someone who was gorgeous but they had a conceited personality? No. A conceited asshole is the last kind of person I'm dating. Would you prefer a kiss on the cheek or neck? Well I mean what's the vibe lmao Do you like to cuddle? Yeah, if we're a close couple and it's not too hot. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? Nah. Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life? I wish we could, but even if he was willing, I don't think "friendship" is possible between us. What is something “cheesy” that you own? Ha, I have this feminine-looking "she believed she could so she did" wall decor thing... I can't remember if I bought it or if it was gifted. What is something that gets your creative juices flowing? MUSIC!!! What drink are you most likely to order at a bar? Some kind of margarita. What is the most interesting class that you took in high school or college? Mythology, I guess? When was the last time that you’ve ever played Spin the Bottle? I never have to begin with. If you were an adult film star or a stripper, what would your stage name be? I can't even try to entertain this question. Even if I WANTED to be one, I would never be hired. I couldn't seriously think of a name. Have you ever wanted to be a cheerleader? No, not even when I was one as a kid lmao. Have you ever been dumped? What was the reason for it? Yeah. The first one, he couldn't handle my depression anymore. With my last partner, we kinda had a mutual agreement that to save us from potential later heartbreak, we needed to work more on ourselves right now. What was the last R-rated movie you watched? Hm. Idk. Have you ever asked someone out? Yes. Have you ever had lice? No. What is the most childish thing that you still do? I mean, with RP, you could argue that I still "play pretend." Have you ever watched a movie you knew you shouldn’t? As a kid, I'm pretty sure I was not supposed to see whatever Scary Movie film it was when I did, aha. Have you ever wanted to try LARP (Live Action Role-Play)? Nah. I'm awkward enough explaining I just write it. If you could go back in time and erase one thing you said or did, what would it be? The "thanks for sending me to the hospital" message to Jason. Has your boyfriend or girlfriend ever embarrassed you? Jason did before, if we're counting past partners. Have you ever thought about cheating on your partner? I never thought of that in any relationship, no. Have you ever been caught checking someone out? Not to my recollection. Not that I even do that much. Have you ever cried because you missed your parents so much? Oh, absofuckinglutely as a little kid. I had BAD separation anxiety from my mom. Have you ever posted something on social media that you regret? OH BOY HAVE I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever ding dong ditched someone? No. Which is worst: Snakes, scorpions, or spiders? I adore snakes. Some spiders scare me, especially if they catch me by surprise. Scorpions aren't native here, so I've actually never come across one, so I'd probably be more curious than frightened. Is there an attic and/or a basement in your house? An attic, yeah. Have you ever been bitten by a tick? Has anyone not? Well, I suppose this depends on your environment. Playing outside in the country as a kid a lot, and especially walking through tall grass to reach fishing spots with Dad, I've had lots. I'm terrified of parasites so those were never fun times. What color is your mom’s car? White. Have you ever had a bird or a squirrel in your house? No. How high off the ground is your bed? The average, ig. What is the cutest breed of dog? That's such a hard question, but I think I tend to lean towards pugs, though I don't support breeding them or any other type that is a medical catastrophe. What is something other people say you’re good at but you think you’re not? Holding a conversation. I call BS. What does your bedside lamp look like? It's a creamy color with a floral design. It was already here at the house when we moved in. Do you like your neighbors? I don't know them. Does your room need to be cleaned? I need to finish decorating it... and dust the dresser. What was the last bug you saw? Ugh, a fucking ant. This house has had an ant problem before, and now they're showing up in my room here and there. Do you place any value in gender roles? Literally zero. Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? Well, I suppose it would depend on the person. How strong is that platonic relationship? Are you in love? Do you want to be? I don't think *in* love anymore, no; I reasoned myself out of that. I think most people WANT to be in the name of companionship, and being a pretty hopeless romantic, your wild guess would probably be right. Would you be happy with a life without romance? I'd live. Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? No. If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? Nope. Religion only ever brought me confusion, pain, and frustration. Are your choices fated or of your own free will? I am very much a believer in free will and that you sculpt your own fate. Was your childhood happy? For the most part. What are you missing from your life? Excitement. Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? No. And if my country did something fucked up, I wouldn't stand with the masses just because I live here. What’s the latest YouTube channel you’ve discovered and binge-watched? Snake Discovery, like, hardcore. Does it snow where you live? Every now and then, but it's super rare for the snow to stick, and it's maybe even rarer that we get a good or fun amount. Do you think your hair looks better long or short? UGGGGHHHHHH I AM SO MUCH HAPPIER W/ SHORT HAIR. Do you enjoy editing photos on your phone? Not really on my phone, no. I don't have good image quality on my phone, so editing tends to make it worse. What’s your favorite thing to do on your phone? Play Pokemon GO if I'm actually in a place with spawns. Which season do you wish would last longer? Sigh, autumn. At least here, the colorful phase is pretty short. It's like... green leaves one day, a beautiful display for a week, then the trees are bare. It's still my favorite season, though. Do you have neat handwriting? Yeah. Did you dream of becoming famous as a kid? Nah. Do you get on Facebook every day? Pretty much. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Spice Girls, duh. Would you ever consider naming a child after a family member? No. I've got nothing against people who do, but I've just never seen the appeal of it at all. I would want my hypothetical child to have their completely own identity.

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''not the american average'' by asking alexandria

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bethd0456 · 3 years

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hellooo lovely! i loved reading your response to my last ask - apparently tumblr is messing up my asks bc a lot of them haven’t been going through :( but let’s hope this one does! i’ve been seeing that you watch cherry magic, and it’s one of my favourite shows at the moment!! 💘 who’s your favourite character? mine is kurosawa personally, i relate so much to him and his gayness. also udon chan, the cutest little cat! what did you think of the last ep, wasn’t it so cute!!! (1/2)

i hope you’re doing well!!! i also wanted to ask what your favourite shows and ships are! i already have a vague idea formulating just by browsing through your blog and over our shared love of cherry magic, but i’d looove to hear your thoughts and your favourites!! wishing you the bestest day! 💘 - your secret santa (2/2)

Hiiiii!!!! I hope life is treating you well!

Omg I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it! I hope you're ready for this MASSIVE answer and you don't get too bored reading this one!

CHERRY MAGIC!!!!!! It instantly became a comfort show for me, as it did for many others!

ADACHIADACHIADACHIADACHI. Adachi is 100% my fave. I never fully understood what a comfort character was. I was like, "yeah! I love Tine also!" But. Adachi is the definition of comfort for me. I see so much of myself in him! Everyone sees him and is like "babie. Must protecc." And honestly? Me too. How can one character be so damn CUTE??!?!? One of my favourite moments is him seeing Kurosawa after the almost-kiss. He just like, sees him, and gets so panicked 🥺 the way his arms just flail about makes me smile like an idiot.

But like, on a deeper level, this drama makes me believe I'm worthy of love. The idea that someone like Kurosawa could be THAT infatuated with you, even though you're an awkward virgin lmao. The point of watching these dramas is to get lost in a story, right? See a situation you want so badly but you know will never realistically happen? The entire premise of the show is just really enticing to me. I am Adachi, Adachi is me. Also, the thing he said in ep6 about not having a clear dream in life? Yeah. I felt that. I'm so envious of people who have passions they work so hard for, it gives them a form of purpose. Like Adachi, sometimes I feel like I'm living in a "daze". I feel like I don't really have any specific passions or skills that I want to develop into a career. Sometimes I just wish I had ambition. Adachi makes me feel so seen and like I'm not the only person who feels like this. The kinds of characters that usually make good protagonists are characters with a clear goal/passion. In most shows this obviously really works, but I can never relate to them personally. It's really special for me to see a character who's similar to me in this way.

Kurosawa is such an amazing character too!!!!! His gay little heart 🥺 on another level, he's just so?? Respectful??? 7. YEARS. 7 years of pining and he holds himself back so well!! He's been waiting for this relationship for so long but is so patient, willing to take things slowly for Adachi. He flirts shamelessly (as he should) but never to the point where Adachi was too uncomfortable.

He cares so much about Adachi :(. But also, even before he liked Adachi, he could tell he was uncomfortable with the drinking thing, so he DOWNED the wine lmao. Clearly he's just a lovely person all round who's really socially aware.

As for other characters:

• Udon my baby!!!! The cutest cat ever!! I love animals sm :(((

• Tsuge's chaotic energy is iconic

• Minato a lovely little dance machine :))

• Rokaku deserves the world, my excitable kiss interruptor :(((

• Fujisaki my love! She's so soft and cute!! Also ace coded how iconic

I ADORED ep8!!! I LIVE for established Adasawa! Adachi coming out to Tsuge :((( I'm so proud of Adachi coming to terms with his feelings and being confident enough to share his relationship with his closest friend. Coming out is not easy and he did so well 🥺

Adachi and Tsuge are so useless bless them 😂 Kurosawa really said "well I guess I have to take these two socially awkward disasters under my wing." Adachi and Tsuge are such a chaotic duo, I love that they can communicate just by touching each other, and omg when Kurosawa said his name Tsuge was "wait maybe I know everything about you already" and if that isn't friendship idk what is

Also Kurosawa making up a poem in his head about Adachi???? Peak romance. Also iconic. I'M A SUCKER FOR HAND HOLDING SCENES SO I DIED. "I like him. I like him. I like him!!" HOW CUTE CAN YOU GET FJKHDSHSKSK

I also got another arm flailing moment when Kurosawa almost got the wrong idea about Adachi and Tsuge!! CAN ADACHI STOP BEING SO CUTE MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT. How on earth his boyfriend is still alive I have no idea.

There are so many other shows and ships I love. I feel like I'll probably miss some, but here we go. These aren't rankings at all, just like, lists lol.

Show list:

1. 2gether

This show means so much to me. It was the first time I watched a bl week by week and it made it so much more special?? I valued scenes so much more than when I binge shows and they would like, look at each other and I'd have a heart attack. They made the first part of my quarantine bearable bc I always had something to look forward to every Friday. I actually really enjoyed quarantine overall as an introvert (not to be insensitive about the literal deaths the pandemic has caused), but I really enjoyed constantly thinking about how long it was until Friday. I'm massively emotionally attached to all of the characters in this show you have no idea. Every single one. The found family of it all,, the way all of the characters have relationships. Still2gether did a phenomenal job of showcasing all of the unexpected but very welcome dynamics and relationships, platonic and romantic alike. I could blabber about this show for so long I'll spare u for now

2. YYY

Is it well written? No. Did I enjoy it anyway?? You know it! I told you how much I love the found family trope. UGH. THIS FAMILY. Also, seeing the feminine side of the LGBT+ community represented positively warmed my heart. There needs to be more bls that do that! Celebrate femininity!! There's nothing wrong with being camp as fuck! It's so much fun!!! This show made me so happy :))

3. Start up

I'm currently obsessed. It's my first Kdrama and holy shit this is what the hype is about. The budget!! The acting! Top notch. On a sad note I really wish bls got that much funding behind them. My heart aches for a complicated story with fully developed characters and plotlines, that just happens to have a gay main couple/character. Wishful thinking for now at least. Anyways, I'm massively emotionally attached to Halmeoni and Jipyeong. Team Jipyeong all the way (even tho Dalmi's obviously gonna end up with Dosan, and I'm happy for them!). All I need is a happy ending for my darling Jipyeong. Please give him one. Also, if anything happens to Halmeoni I will WEEP.

4. Cherry magic is obviously here but I've ranted about that enough already 😂

5. 3 will be free

I would never have expected gmm to make a series like this! But they went and did THAT. Wild. It was such a healthy representation of a poly relationship. The themes of feminism were so well handled and powerful, the chemistry was off the CHARTS, I was hooked from start to finish! Time for a rewatch? I think so.

6. Feel good

Not an Asian drama, but still gay as FUCK. It's written by my wife Mae Martin who also stars in it, and I have to say, it blew me away. Story time!! My friend irl recommended it to me without saying it was Mae, so I was like "okay sure I'll put it on my to watch list I guess" without much motivation to watch it. But as soon as I found out it was Mae I watched it and I've never looked back lol. Once I finished I sent my friend a splurge of messages about my feelings. The series touches on issues like addiction, sexuality and gender. "I'm not a boy. I'm not even a girl. I'm like a failed version of both." That shit HURT.

There's a scene near the end which has really stayed with me. So Mae's character is a comedian and she does a set making jokes about the stuff that happened in the series and oh my GOD. The way I CRIED. It made me realise that people who make jokes about their experiences are using humour as a coping mechanism and when people say "Haha I have daddy issues isn't it funny" we have to remember to be respectful. It's never okay to make jokes about someone else's trauma. Don't make a big deal of it but just don't be a dick.

Anyways I could go on but would 100% recommend this series!

7. HIStory 2 crossing the line

My first bl! This series is the reason I'm so obsessed with bl lmao. The main couple are so soft :( this little series will always hold a special place in my heart!

8. Sotus

My first gmm series, we've come a long way. I miss Kong and Arthit :(

9. Dark blue kiss

Such a brilliant series. I trust P'Aof (director) with my life. This series touches on issues that are so important and deserve to be talked about so much more in bls. This is what happens when you let LGBT people tell LGBT stories! They do it with such care and love!! One of my favourite lines is "I may like men, but I'll never like your brother." One of my biggest let peeves is "I don't like men, I only like x." Like, I get the business behind it, they don't want to make the character gay to make them available for girls to fantasise about. Which is disgusting. But Mork really said "no. ❤" and I LOVE IT.

10. The shipper

I could go on and on about how underrated I think this series is. This series took over from 2gether on Fridays, and while I didn't think about this series constantly like I did with 2gether, this series made my quarantine brighter. Fridays meant I was gonna laugh at least once and forget about life just for a short while. The humour in this series is so fucking dumb lmao, but I'm here for it.

I've seen people talk about the shipper as a bl but I disagree. I think it's better described as a series with bl aspects. The main themes are friendship, family, dealing with loss, respecting boundaries of people you admire, and one of the main messages is about making sure the people close to you know how much they mean to you. Don't get me wrong, the majority of the series is over the top humour, but by the end of it I was personally really attached to the characters and their feelings. Overall I really enjoyed this series but I don't see anyone properly talk about it :(

11. Gaya sa pelikula

A series made by gay people for gay people. Shows like this are so important. This show really healed my soul with how brilliant the representation was :(( "remember we talked about microagressions" the way that means Vlad is constantly educating Karl about LGBT stuff, UGH. SO GOOD. Also this show has the most realistic representation of a crush I've ever seen lmao, soft Vlad is the best Vlad.

12. My engineer

My happy little Saturday show :( I miss the shit writing, shit acting and soft story of this series so much. I'm so fond of this series, I watched it after the horrible ep12 of 2gether and it really made me happy. I'm looking forward to season 2, but Ramking's novel goes DOWNHILL from here on. I know tricreation wouldn't allow the final chapter's scenes, but the entire story is so problematic and unenjoyable :(. The only valid scene is King's coming out scene but that's literally it. And the collar scene can stay lmao.

13. Oxygen

Another soft saturday series! I love this series so much, all of the couples are so bloody healthy and it makes me so happy. The communication is amazing!! THIS is how you show healthy relationships!!!

14. The gifted

S1 was so amazing!! I loved all of it! The only part of s2 we'll talk about is timegracethird. Time best boy!! Grace a feminist queen! When future Grace said they would be friends for a long time that made me so happy :(( also pangwave canon

15. Until we meet again

So I talked about the healthy relationships in oxygen. But uwma really showed the healthiest relationship ever. DeanPharm are just the softest little humans :( I would die for Pharm. He's the closest I got to a comfort character before Adachi. I just have to PROTECT HIM. My motherly instincts really kick in when I see him lmao.

The storyline of this series is just breathtaking. And the ending? I don't think I've ever cried that much. At all. It was so fucking beautiful 🥺

16. My gear and your gown

I really liked this show! Honestly I don't think I'll ever rewatch it but I definitely enjoyed it. The way Pai just seemed to breathe freely for the first time when his parents accepted his sexuality :(((( my baby :( also purefolk were brilliant

Ship list:

1. Saratine

These two are the definition of romance. They mean the fucking world to me. The fact that their story is apparently gonna be continued in some form makes me so. So. Happy. I cannot begin to describe it. My bet is on a special episode and ugh I'm so EXCITED.

2. Aini

Thonhonchonlatee in general is enjoyable but I don't like Thon at all. It's such a shame bc I was so excited for Khaotung and Podd to be in a series together :((. BUT. Aini have grabbed my heart. I knew they would bc miketap are brilliant, but wow. They're so gay my little babies :( miketap are just so natural and comfortable to watch. I love their chemistry so muuuuuuch

3. Sunmork

Coffee boyfriends :( I miss them so bloody much

4. Ramking

One of my fave ships. As I mentioned, I'm apprehensive about s2, but s1 ramking is such a beautiful story. It's just about 2 boys falling in love, no complications. Plant boy who's afraid of dogs falls in love with quiet boy who loves dogs but is afraid of children. Iconic. Also chemistry outsold, I THINK ABOUT THE KISS CONSTANTLY. When I mentioned the acting is shit in this series (shit is harsh, I mean awkward), I did not mean Perth and Lay in the slightest. They really nailed their roles and I loved it.

5. Professor Layton x Claire

You 100% won't get this reference but I grew up with the Professor Layton games and holy shit do they hold up. They're so amazingly written with beautiful stories and the most lovable characters in the world. Layton's intellect, loving nature and surprising athleticism are admirable. Adachi is the character I relate to most, but if I was gonna choose a character to comfort me irl, Layton's your man. His voice is so comforting by nature. I'm blabbering at this point but the point is him and Claire are the only het pairing that matters.

These are just the ships that I felt should be separate from their shows. I love all of the ships from the shows I mentioned.

Oof this got horrifically long, I haven't had a proper chance to rant about most of these shows so I really let it out lol. I hope you've watched at least some of these shows and I didn't just rant to u about 12 shows you've never heard of 😂

I hope you have a wonderful day love!!!!

#secretsanta'20

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fank0ne · 4 years

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Let's get it started.

- CHICAGO MED:

Sexcel. Marcel is a prick but I still kinda love him..? I don't know, it's not my fault, leave me alone. For real though, I really like him as a doctor, he seems like he really knows what he's doing, and as a human being... nobody's perfect, right? LOL I don't even think he should be considered the cause of Chexton drama to be honest: maybe trying to get in April's pants wasn't the right move, but he's not the one in a relationship. There's only one person to blame.

Chexton. Ethan really did put a ring on it, uh?! And she said yes, too. Wow, I admire the audacity! Do I think the marriage is gonna occur? The fuck not, he is somehow gonna find out about the Sexcel kiss and call the engagement off. Happy endings? We don't know 'em.

April. Wow, she's really decided to not tell Ethan about the kiss with Crockett! Gross. As I said before, I hate liars... I could've understand if the kiss was like - little crossover - Renée and Kelly's at the end of season 5 (was it season 5? I'm dumb lol), but it seems like it was a big deal for April. She herself said, correct me if I'm wrong, that things could've quickly gotten out of control. Like, excuse me?!

Will and Nat. So are they still gonna let them fight and annoy the hell out of me? Is this a fucking curse or something? Oh my god. This time I'm not on anybody's side, the fight was dumb (not the topic itself, but the way the whole thing was managed) and could've easily been avoided: Will needed to do a more thorough check on that junkie mama and Natalie should've told him she was gonna contact CPS whether he liked it or not. You see how simple it is? Fuck, I hate them so much. (Nick/Will looked really good with that shirt in his last scene - his shoulders are very sexy).

Elsa. She's a baby, I wanna protect her. And she smiled, she so cute. And she's gay af - quick reminder, in case you think that shipping her with Will can even remotely be a good idea (jk, y'all know me, you do you).

Daniel. The scene of him singing for his CeCe at Molly's was truly heartbreaking to see. By the way, Oliver has a nice voice, our cast is multitalented! Dr. Charles has a history with depression, though, so I hope he's gonna take care of himself, a thing he seems determined to do, maybe with the help of Sharon - and Elsa too, they're starting to bond.

Maggie and Ben. They're cute, yeah, Ben is in remission and I'm happy for him. But I honestly don't really care about them as a couple to be honest... There's nothing wrong with them, I'm just not interested. Stop.

Quick question: can they change Dr. Marcel's name, please? I mean, when she confessed the whole thing to Maggie, April's voice was trembling, her eyes were watery, but I couldn't help but laugh at her: "I kissed Crockett" LMFAO, you kissed who?! Like, c'mon, what kind of garbage name is that? Gross. *almost throws up*

- CHICAGO FIRE:

Seager. She was ridiculously embarrassing. At first I thought she was gonna accept the fact that Severide is already taken (even though he didn't tell her explicitly from the beginning, so it's partly his fault too, kinda), but when she asked him out after seeing him and Stella clearly acting as a couple, I lost my cool. Bye, Felicia. I'm so glad Kelly told her he's not interested and, y'all, did you see how he looked at Stella and could tell the situation was making her uncomfortable? Wow, couple goals. I'm waiting for a proposal by the end of the season.

Pickles? Foster... I like her, I hate her, I don't know. She's too moody. The fight with Brett was honestly very childish and uncalled for and I'm glad Sylvie stood up for herself and put Emily in her place. Plus, she did it in such a well-mannered and polite way... she's a princess, what can I say. Stella speech about girls sticking up for each other... Yes! Just yes.

Blake. I'm not gonna censor myself: he likes pussy..? Yikes. You guys know I was already starting to ship him with Ritter, but the writers had to ruin it for me. It's ok, I guess. For the moment I'm not really interested in his relationship with that girl (maybe I'm still bitter LMFAO), even though she seems really cool.

Ritter. When are we gonna see his boyfriend?! Damn, those writers! Blake joined 51 just the other day and we already know every little thing about him, I ask to see just a bit of LGBTQ+ content and they act like they're dumb..? How about you show it properly instead of just mentioning it and act like your job is done, mh? I'm ready to fight, I don't care.

Whose tool? : Our tool = What team? : Wildcats! — SAME ENERGY.

Iconic lines: "I'm gay, I'm not blind" + "I know it's hard to imagine with your emails and Facebook and Myspace...," – Mouch, Myspace? In 2020? Ok Boomer (I had to, I'm not sorry)

- CHICAGO PD:

Well well. We've been robbed. We're not clowns, we're the whole circus. The episode wasn't bad at all, I liked it, but still, what the fuck was that?! We've been waiting for more than a month to see some really angsty, whumpy stuff, the episode was supposed to be Jay centered and what did we get? A lame murder case that somehow became interesting only when Kevin and his brother got involved.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad my baby Kev gets to get more screentime (it was about time!), but why giving him now and not the next episode? What's the logic in this?

The beginning wasn't even bad, the premises were good. It was all very serious and solemn and all that good stuff we like and then, boom!, they said fuck that, fuck Jay Halstead, fuck you clowns who thought we were gonna treat him with the respect he deserves. Man was literally about to die and then suddenly he's fine, he talks (Jesse was making the voice he uses to imitate Jason, I heard that!), he even jokes around... Like, make it make sense. I'm frustrated. I wanna say a whole lotta other things, but yeah, I hope you get my point.

The Upstead content was kind of a payoff but yeah, still better than nothing. And about that... that fucking phone, really? Hailey was about to confess her feelings, or at least say something really serious to Jay, but of course they were interrupted. As I said, we're clowns. And Jay was ready: my man was so ready to get out of the friendozone, I saw that smirk that slowly faded into a disappointed look. We'll get there, Jay, I probably want it more than you do LOL

Vanessa's gonna be the godmother of Upstesd children. She ships them so much, cutie. "It's hard because you love him" - "Of course I love him, he's my partner" Hailey, sis, stfu and stop lying.

Burzek. They're having a baby, I'm so happy, I'm gonna cry. The little Alvin Ruzek (Kev is gonna be their godfather, I don't make the rules) is gonna be the Intelligence unit mascotte. I'm so ready. Yo, we're having this baby, right? No funny business here, they already broke our hearts with Dawsey twice. Also, did you notice how Adam screamed Kim's name when he thought the million bullets might've hit her and the baby. OMG gheyret having a baby. Whew, I'm not crying, you are!

I admit I wasn't following the storyline at all, like I literally can't tell what was going on before Jordan, Kev's brother, got involved. I wanna see where they're going with this plot: it can potentially be a cool one, I'd actually like too see some drama around Kevin's character - and maybe him being supported by Vanessa, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. I don't know, they either develop it properly or they better end it with 7.11

Y'all, the dude Darius was supposed to set up, the one who got killed by Jordan's girlfriend, is identical to Chris Brown, minus the ears. It's scary.

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justkimberley · 4 years

Text

HSMTMTS Thoughts Episode 7

Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4 Episode 5 Episode 6

This one is also kinda long (~2200 words)

Nini and Ricky doing a fantastic job harmonizing in Start of Something New

the dance routine around them is absolutely crazy and all over the place

So it seems that Seb is just their resident piano player (side note, who ended up getting Kelsey??)

Big Red with the flashlight trying so hard to keep it on the disco ball

EJ interrupting because of the bell. Does anyone really love Thanksgiving that much??

Also I always forget that American Thanksgiving is like a month later than Canadian Thanksgiving and I was hella confused for a second.

Ricky is so surprised that Nini is complimenting him

Ashlyn as Robotics Team captain! (side note Big Red gives her an impressed look after he overhears that she’s the captain)

Also: debate team, baking club, high priestess of the Renaissance Faire

We love a multifaceted lady

Miss Jenn/Mr. Mazzarra trying to have a ‘my horse is bigger than your horse’ banter except neither of them have the horses they claim to have

“With whoever could possibly love you,” lol ok Miss Jenn went for the head

“Late night party” - party starts at 8 that’s adorable

“Small group or…” “PARTY AT ASHLYN’S HOUSE!”

It’s really interesting learning about Nini’s Lola (? I think that’s how it’s spelled, which is what I believe Filipino people call their grandmother’s), and her story

I’m just really proud of Ricky’s Dad. Like he was in such a bad place 2-3 episodes ago and now he’s taking care of himself and Ricky (even if it isn’t a grandiose Thanksgiving) he’s trying and I think he’s doing great

“We roll hard” I just really love this line

“I suppose if you’re lonely, you could always just… randomly text my drama teacher,” “Too soon… RIck,” “... yeah okay”

That was pretty funny. Also, it seems like Ricky’s okay with his dad dating?

Ricky’s mom waiting for him to call

I don’t know how I feel about this to be honest. I feel like maybe she should have tried to call him first and then if he didn’t answer or want to talk to her, that she should wait for him to make the next move then.

EJ’s truth arc is very funny to me

Big Red and Ashlyn

“I promise not to steal your phone if you promise not to throw a basketball at my face,” “No, the only thing I’d ever throw at your face is a brighter spotlight cause, I like the way you sing

Oof they’re so cute, we love little crushes

Also this might be an unpopular opinion but y’all need to calm down about the whole ‘Ashlyn and Big Red are GAY and they only THINK theyy like each other’ thing. #1 It was never confirmed for them to be gay. #2 You can still have wlw and mlm head-cannons for them! Bi, Pan, and other multiple gender attraction oriented people exist, even if you forget about us sometimes.

They are a cute little pairing of people who are always looking out and taking care of other people. It’s okay for them to do things for themselves.

Ricky debating calling his mom, it took a lot of courage and then Todd picks up.

Hangs up immediately, it almost looked like he was going to have a panic attack. That would be so hard, such an extreme shift

I guess the reason he was more okay with his Dad dating was that his Dad was open and honest with him about it. Calling your Mom only to find out that she has a boyfriend that a. She never told you about b. He knows about you and c. is trusted enough to be left alone with her phone while she showers? Is a lot, and probably means that she started dating him before the split was official.

Ricky going to call Nini and then deciding against it. Why doesn’t he feel like he can talk to Big Red about this kind of stuff? Why does he always go to Nini first?

Gina shows up, those are good looking cupcakes

She made him a hat!

She looks so hesitant before she gives it to him!

Gina’s like ‘look dude, I know something’s wrong, spill the beans’

Ignore it and push through - I understand where she’s coming from but you really shouldn’t ignore your problems, it usually just makes them worse

“Do what makes you happy,” “... Give me that hat,”

Adorable, also do what makes you happy is good advice so we’re a little all over the map here

“That’s too big,” “I’ll grow into it,” (adorable)

Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzarra’s whole interaction is hilarious.

Don’t burn down my shop! - holy shit, foreshadowing buddies

Ashlyn is so cute! She’s so happy when people compliment her

“I highly recommend not telling someone you love them for the first time on instagram” - yup! That’s what I said in the first one of these I did.

Carlos - “The party may begin!” - I totally thought he said “The party made me gay,” the first time I watched it so uhh yeah

Big Red is lactose intolerant

Carlos’ board game is amazing

“High School Musical the Choosical,” - fantastic name

Everyone is so accepting

Ashlyn and Big Red choosing to be on the same team

“South Side Knights -” “It’s the West High Nights,” “the West High Knights”

Ej is like a compulsive truther now. And it’s kind of hilarious

His face when he says “She laughed!” is hilarious and kind of adorable

“I gotta go join the party, and admit some terrible things, you ladies, catch up!” - I wish we got to see what he was admitting to, I find this whole thing quite funny

I’m glad that Emily and Nini got some reconciliation, I know Nini felt guilty even though it wasn’t her fault

That is not a good cockney accent

Why did Ricky enter alone when him and Gina walked together?

And he left her to open the door on her own with all those cupcakes?

“Buddies,” “We,”

Ricky and Gina both laughing about YouTube, cuties

Look, feelings are feelings and you can’t help what you feel, but pushing someone away and insisting to remain only friends means that you shouldn’t be upset when he makes a new friend

Mr. Mazzara and Miss Jenn

The plug socket is in the frame, more foreshadowing

“He won’t.. Not… fall” this show loves it’s double negatives huh? I don’t not love you, he won’t not fall etc.

“Ok but the center of gravity is off,” YES to different kinds of intelligence being helpful in fields other than the main one people associate them with

Carlos thinking people are going to keep judging him and the theater people being as accepting as possible

EJ is a gleek

What I’ve Been Looking For to the rhythm of Get Your Head in the Game is hard! (Catch me on the piano later trying to figure it out lol)

It just turns into a terrible rap

EJ - “That was terrible,” Seb - “I’m so happy”

EJ vs. Ricky - “without laughing… or killing each other,”

This is a good parallel to the basketball scene, once again they get kind of aggressive, but this time they also joke around and no one gets hurt

Also I would love to see them become friends, I mean they both need to grow a little before that happens, but I have hopes

They missed the ‘neeee howww’ part of it, I really wanted to hear them do the high voices

EJ’s little “mehh” that sounds like a duck kills me everytime

Gina and Nini awkwarddd

“I do have high hopes for a junior year at East High” oof babey :(

“It must be nice sometimes though, right?” - nini does not understand

This actually gives us an insight as to why they don’t understand each other. Nini would love nothing more than to start a new life with no drama and Gina would love nothing more than to have a life that lasts longer than a couple months before being restarted.

Gina/Nini apology very exciting, hopefully they can actually become friends

“It’s all good,” from Nini seemed disingenuous, I don’t know if it’s because of the Wonderstudy thing or the Ricky thing.

The sleepover thing I was so worried that it would be a mean spirited thing but I’m so glad it wasn’t

Nini sits on Ricky’s lap when she goes back to the game room and I don’t know if it’s intentional or not but it’s kind of like she’s trying to lay her claim back on Ricky.

Gina looks so happy when a. Carlos calls her in and b. the happy dance about the sleepover! (why’d they have to ruin the happiness??)

Mr. Mazarra returning the favour

“It’s beautiful,” “Math often is,” dudde I feel you I fucking love math

“I cannot stress to you enough how uncomfortable that would make me feel,”

“You know what we should do?” “Break off eye contact sometime soon?”

I’m dying

“It’s about a robot!” this is… pretty adorable. She just wants to make a genuine connection with him

Also are they going to do a romance route with these two? Because I can see them setting it up but also imagine if they just become like… best friends? I feel like they’d be unstoppable.

Musical Choosical Handbook of Rulesicals

“I thought you had never actually played this with people-” “Honey not today of all days,”

Carlos and Seb are the only couple with no bad drama and I’m living for it (please let them just stay happy)

Oops! I knew that jersey question… also it’s definitely the answer Big Red would now because he’s only watched the movie with no words (at his allergists office)

“And do people usually talk like that?” “No they do not.” - gold

EJ the compulsive cheater and also compulsive truther makes a comeback (I seriously find this so funny I don’t know why)

“I love to pop and lock and jam and break,” oh GIna

She’s so happy about winning

Not realistic, you know that the second she called her mom at least someone would be like “pass the weed,” (you know because friends are awesome and also terrible)

“Can you take me off speaker”

Some people are like ‘oh no is she in trouble?’

I kind of hate that it looks like Nini looks sort of happy about Gina’s mom asking her to take her off speaker - I really don’t want Nini to turn into a catty person.

Ricky is concerned

Why did her mom tell her this right now? She should have waited until the next morning, like that wouldn’t have hurt anyone and it would have let them form stronger bonds. And Gina would have had her first sleepover and also they might form strong enough bonds to try and stay in contact with her

Ricky is worried for her, he’s like, ‘You made me feel better, so I’ll go make you feel better’

Nini’s looking upset that Ricky’s being emotionally aware for once? Like dude, he’s grown up a lot since BEFORE summer break? That’s like six months ago I think at this point?

Ricky just wants to help Gina feel better because she made him feel better

She doesn’t understand that they can stay friends even if she leaves and I just :(

“Please don’t do that” he’s so overwhelmed

“My mom moved out two weeks ago and she’s already got a new boyfriend, sound familiar?” Oooh low blow Ricky bud.

“Really don’t need advice from a .. buddy right now,”

Ok but then who does Ricky want advice from? I’m so confused. This boy needs to get a better support system and learn how to use it. Romantic relationships should not be your only outlet for your problems.

Red and Ashlyn

“I hope Gina’s gonna be okay,” - Big Red is so sweet!

They’re so cute

“Hey Big Red? Don’t forget your dip,” - oh she was so going to ask him out and then lost the nerve

Write something for yourself.

It’s a hard thing to do, dude. It’s also hard to let yourself feel so vulnerable, even if it’s only you that’s going to hear it

Gina packing, I feel so sad for her, she’s finally made some good friends and now she has to leave again. She kept the badge! :(

EJ losing followers and being cancelled, at least we know why now

It seems like a lot of EJ’s self worth comes from how others think of him. So losing followers is probably a pretty big hit. I wonder if he’ll keep going with his whole truth thing when it has these consequences or if he’ll just go back to what he was doing before. I hope that he has a positive arc but, will it go downhill from here? I hope not.

Ricky about to apologise to Nini (why did he erase it, he probably should have sent that) - side note: their conversation before was them asking each other if they were going to the party

It’s interesting that Nini had pictures of EJ and Ricky up still

Gina’s crying face is making me cry

“Hey mom, it’s me, I miss you so much,” tears

Nini hanging up pictures of her grandma and the musical. She’s really trying to move forward from boys huh?

Is nini going to apply to the theater school??

Electrical fire???????? WHy??

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts spoilers #episode 7 #kimberleysthoughts #mypost #kimberleyreacts #feel free to come yell into the void with me about this show #the void is always open #(the void is the name of my askbox lol)

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