#meadema

[adascore]

Hello! Not sure if you’re taking requests but would you consider doing an addition to TSS where young!arsenal reader was starting before Beth and Viv came back and has been benched majority of the time since (Kyra core☹️). Maybe during like the west ham game was one of the subs thrown on halfway through and after the loss made a snarky comment about “being thrown on to unfuck everything” type of thing to another teammate and Viv/beth overhear and think she’s talking about them (maybe they’re already a little insecure about losing such an “easy” game, self doubt post ACL) and things are super frosty and weird at home until one of them snaps and makes a comment about how they still wouldn’t have won even if R started. Hurt/comfort angst but with a happy ending!! Not sure if any of that strikes your fancy but I had the thought and you’re so talented:) no worries if not!!!

TO JUMP THE GUN(NERS)

pairings: arsenal x teen!reader / meadema x teen!reader / kyra cooney-cross x arsenal!reader

warnings: the west-ham match. swearing. angst. awkwardness.

author’s note: OMG LOVE THIS IDEA ! like this was right up my alley I felt like 😭 thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy the story!

masterlist

February 4, 2024 - Essex, England

It had become a routine, seeing her name and number on the bench. She took a glance at Kyra, a knowing look in her eyes.

The young Arsenal homegrown wondered where it all had gotten wrong. Well, she knew the answer, but it wasn't exactly something she could say out loud to anyone.

She was transported back to the 2022/23 season, where she would warm the bench until either Vivianne or Beth were too tired or they needed to be rested for the next match.

Their injuries had changed everything.

Y/N not only became a regular starter, but became a vital part of their game. Her absence would be noticed.

She scored the goals that got them to the semifinals of the Champions League, keeping them level with 2x champions Wolfsburg.

However, Beth and Vivianne were back now. Alessia's arrival also didn't help much, the former Manchester United player having cemented herself into the starting line-up.

It also didn't help that Jonas was not a fan of rotating. Only in specific Conti Cup matches or against what he deemed 'weaker' teams in the league would he make changes to the usual starting XI.

In other words, she was back to step 1.

That's why it was hard to watch her teammates falling 2-1 behind against West Ham, with no one seeming to find an answer or any will to turn the game around. It was a painful spectacle.

In the 63rd minute, Jonas decided to throw herself, Kyra and Cloé in the match, and take out Vivianne, Victoria and Beth. It was a desperate attempt, and the three Gunners found themselves on the pitch, tasked with the challenging mission of trying to fix everything that had gone wrong so far.

Y/N and Cloé quickly created some chances but the West Ham defense or the swift reflexes of Mackenzie Arnold saw them go in vain.

The teenager could see the expressions of her teammates on the bench, visibly frustrated with how the match had unfolded since Alessia's successful header.

Vivianne couldn't hide the discontent in her eyes as she sat with a subtle shake of her head. Her partner, sitting beside her, noticed and Beth patted her thigh, offering silent support as they continued to watch their team scramble for a late equalizer.

As the final whistle blew, the disappointment within the team was high. Y/N did her usual post-match routine, and congratulated all the West Ham players on their win, while giving and receiving solace from her own teammates.

The teen found Kyra again, someone who she had found a friendship in over the months the Australian had joined the Gunners.

''You alright?'' The midfielder asked her, a dejected tone in her voice.

Y/N nodded. ''Yeah, you?''

''Not too great, but there are worse things in life.'' Kyra responded, trying to put the loss in perspective.

''True,'' the striker agreed, ''I can't believe he keeps putting us in these positions.''

Kyra nodded. ''You think he would learn after Tottenham.'' She sighed.

''Apparently, we're not good enough to start, but when he needs us to unfuck everything that happened, then he knows who we are.'' Y/N said, her frustration evident. The unfair treatment of some players during the season lingered in the air, leaving a bitter taste after the defeat.

As the youngsters continued their conversation on their way to the locker room, Vivianne and Beth, unintentionally overhearing their discussion, exchanged puzzled glances.

''Did you hear that? 'Unfuck everything'?'' Beth repeated her housemate's words to her partner.

Vivianne's brow furrowed as she processed what was said. ''Yeah,'' the Dutchwoman breathed out, ''not very nice.'' A hint of sadness lingered in her voice. It stung that their efforts were being discussed in such terms, especially by the young girl they were living with.

They didn't say much else to one another as they strolled through the corridor.

The atmosphere in the locker room was subdued, void of any banter and entertaining chats. Most of the players were already there as the couple walked in.

Beth took a glimpse at Y/N and Kyra who still seemed in a discussion with one another, although they were whispering now.

''Girls, we're a lot better than this.'' Kim broke the ice, a neutral expression on her face.

Everyone nodded at the captain, the collective disappointment from the match was visible. ''Well, it's done, we can't change anything about it. So, everyone just do a reset, try to get some sleep or distract yourselves on the bus, and I expect everyone with fresh minds and legs at training.''

The team nodded and weakly applauded Kim's small speech.

As the team began to disperse, Y/N caught Beth's eye, offering a faint smile in greeting. However, the winger's response was noticeably strained, her usually warm demeanor replaced by a subtle tension.

"Everything okay?" The younger one ventured, her concern evident.

Beth's smile faltered slightly, her gaze flickering away before returning to meet Y/N's. "Yeah, everything's fine." She replied, though her words sounded hollow even to her own ears.

The striker's brow furrowed further, a flicker of uncertainty clouding her features. "Are you sure?" She pressed gently, not used to this awkwardness from her teammate.

"I... yeah, I'm sure." She retorted, her voice tinged with irritation.

"Okay..." Y/N trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. Sensing the dismissiveness between them, she offered a hesitant smile before turning back to where she had been talking with Lia.

As her housemate walked away, Beth's expression hardened, a pang of guilt gnawing at her conscience. She knew she shouldn't act like this towards her, but her words had really struck a nerve for some reason and it was hard to pretend it didn't.

The drive home on the bus wasn't that different, though the atmosphere was more subdued due to the loss. Y/N and Kyra were seated next to each other, Katie and Caitlin sitting on the other side of them.

''You alright, Y/N?'' Caitlin asked, noticing the youngster's quietness.

Y/N looked up, glancing away from her nails to the older Australian player. She hesitated answering, not knowing if it was appropriate to say anything about her interaction with Beth.

She sat up straight and motioned for the three of them to huddle together over the small table. They got her message and did just that.

''Did anything happen on the bench or something? Cause I had this weird exchange with Meado, and it's just stuck in my head.'' She explained, her voice hushed.

They all frowned at her words. ''No, she was just frustrated about the game, but so was everyone else.'' Caitlin responded.

''What happened?'' Katie chimed in, curious to know about this exchange.

''I don't know. She was looking at me in the locker room, and I smiled at her, but she, I don't know, just looked weird at me. I asked her if she was alright, but she was kinda distant with me? She responded a little irritated so I left her alone, but it was weird.'' Y/N gave a small summary of the interaction.

"That is strange." Kyra mused, breaking the silence that had settled over their huddle.

They nodded at her words, agreeing with the young Australian.

''I didn't notice anything.'' Caitlin said with a pout, feeling sorry she couldn't help her younger teammate out. ''Me neither, kiddo.'' Katie added, a similar expression on her face.

Y/N smiled sadly, disappointed she wasn't any wiser on Beth. Katie rubbed her arm once she noticed her dejected expression. ''Hey, I wouldn't worry about it. It's a tough loss.''

The youngster nodded at the Irishwoman's words. ''Yeah, you're right.''

Katie was not right.

As soon as she got in the car with the beloved couple it was clear that something had gone down for them to act in such a sour mood. Vivianne's knuckles were white against the steering wheel, while Beth stared out of the window, her expression unreadable.

Sensing the palpable tension, Y/N shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The youngster wanted to break the silence, but the words wouldn't come out. It felt like they were stuck in her throat.

The drive home felt like forever. Every minute made the atmosphere worse. Y/N tried to catch Vivianne or Beth's eye, hoping for some sign that things would get better, but there was nothing.

Car rides after losses were never filled with much conversation, but it had never been like this.

A wave of relief went through her as the car was parked in front of their apartment complex, longing for the comfort of her room where she could hide from whatever the situation was.

Y/N couldn't even come up with a guess on what had transpired. Did they have a fight? Did she do something? Did someone else do something?

She had absolutely no clue.

However, the tension seemed to follow them into their shared home. The silence had become even more deafening with each step they took.

Beth disappeared into her room without a word, while Vivianne headed straight for the kitchen, her movements stiff and mechanical. Y/N stood in the hallway, feeling like an outsider in her own home.

Their behaviors made her feel anxious, feeling that knot inside her stomach. What had happened during the game? What had caused them to retreat into themselves like this?

Unable to handle any of it longer, Y/N tentatively approached the Dutchwoman in the kitchen. "Um, Viv?" She began, her voice small.

Vivianne glanced up, her expression guarded. "Yeah?” She replied, accent heavy.

The younger girl hesitated, unsure of how to broach the subject. "I, uh, did, uh, something happen at the game?" She stammered, her words stumbling over each other in her haste to get everything out.

The striker's eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?” She asked, her face neutral.

Her response only added to the youngest one's confusion. It seemed as though they were both dancing around a subject neither wanted to address.

"I-I just... noticed things were a bit off between everyone after the match," Y/N explained, her voice barely above a whisper, "and, well, the car ride home was... a bit weird, you know.”

Vivianne's expression softened slightly, though her guard remained up. ''Don't worry about it. Just… frustration from the game.''

But Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it than just frustration. She wanted to press further, but the fear of causing further conflict held her back.

Instead, she offered a hesitant nod. ''Okay, good.'' She murmured to the floor, retreating back to her room with a heavy heart.

The Arsenal homegrown player pulled her phone out of her pocket, searching up Kyra's contact. It only took a few rings for the Australian to pick up, she was probably already on her phone as she was called.

''Hey.'' Her accent momentarily bringing a smile to Y/N's face.

''Hey, you're home?''

''Yeah, just arrived. What's up?''

There was a brief pause before Y/N continued. ''Things have gotten a bit weirder since, uh, on the bus.''

''Shit. What happened?'' She asked, her voice filled with genuine worry.

''It's just... the tension at home is almost suffocating," she explained, ''it was completely silent the entire time we were driving home, and when we got home, Beth immediately went to her room. I tried to ask Viv about, but she told me it was just frustrations, but it clearly is not just that.''

There was a moment of silence as Kyra processed Y/N's words. "That doesn't sound good," she finally replied, ''you really have no idea what might have happened? Maybe they had a fight or something?''

Y/N shook her head, even though her teammate couldn't see it. "No, that's the thing. I'm completely lost." She admitted, frustration lacing her words.

''Same. I wish I knew what to say to help.'' Kyra said softly.

''It's alright, Ky. Thanks for letting me ramble.'' Y/N chuckled, appreciating the opportunity to unload her worries onto her friend.

''It's fine, honestly. It must not be fun to be in this situation,'' the Matilda replied, feeling for her friend, ''if anything else happens you can always let me know, okay? I'm gonna have some dinner now.''

Y/N smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Ky. I really appreciate it.”

''Anytime. Take care, I'll see you at training.''

''You too. Bye, bye.'' They bid each other goodbye before hanging up the phone.

Y/N prepared to leave her room again, wanting to check if Vivianne had started dinner yet or not.

Just as she stepped into the hallway, she nearly collided with Beth, who was coming out of her room with a tight-lipped expression. The sudden encounter caught them both off guard.

''Shit, sorry.'' The younger one apologized first, giving her housemate an awkward glance.

''It's alright,'' Beth brushed off, ''uh, were you on the phone just now?" She asked, her brow furrowing slightly.

Y/N nodded. ''Uh, yeah, with Kyra.''

Beth's expression shifted, a flicker of something unreadable crossing her features. "Oh, Kyra." She murmured, her voice tight.

The younger girl simply stared at the winger, not knowing what to say to her words. "Is everything okay?" Y/N ventured, her voice hesitant as she searched Beth's face for any sign of what might be bothering her.

Beth's lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, she seemed lost in thought. When she finally spoke, her words were tinged with a hint of irritation. ''Everything's alright.''

Y/N offered a small, uneasy smile and nodded. "Oh, okay." She said, though her words felt hollow even to her own ears.

With a nod of acknowledgment, Beth turned to walk away. As she watched Beth disappear around the corner, she wondered if it had been something she had done. However, she couldn't recall saying or doing anything that day that would have provoked this kind of demeanor from the couple.

The young striker walked into the living room, noticing Vivianne bustling about in the kitchen. But what caught Y/N's attention was the hushed whispers exchanged between the couple, Beth and Vivianne not being subtle about their gossiping.

A sense of discomfort washed over the youngster as she hesitated in the doorway, unsure whether to interrupt or retreat unnoticed. But before she could make a decision, the Dutchwoman glanced up and caught her eye, her expression inscrutable.

''Hey, dinner is almost ready. Just some leftover pasta from yesterday.'' She informed Y/N, her tone somewhat forced as she attempted to maintain a facade of normalcy.

Y/N forced a smile. ''Nice, thanks, Viv.'' She answered, trying to ignore the awkwardness that hung in the air.

She retreated to the couch, feeling as if she wasn't welcome in the small space. Something was off, and she couldn't help but feel like she was on the outside looking in.

She scrolled on her phone for a few minutes before Vivianne called her to the table as the food was ready. As they gathered around the dinner table, the atmosphere remained strained, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.

Vivianne served up the leftover pasta, her movements brisk as she avoided making eye contact with anyone. Beth sat across from Y/N, her expression unreadable as she picked at her food.

Y/N tried to focus on her food, but the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach made it difficult to swallow.

For a few moments, the only sound was the clinking of forks against plates, the silence punctuated only by the occasional awkward cough or clearing of throat.

Finally, unable to bear the tension any longer, Y/N opened her mouth. "So, um, what did you guys think about the match?'' She asked the pair, her voice coming out more high than she had intended.

As if on cue, Vivianne and Beth glanced up from their plates at the same time.

''It was tough, but it shouldn't have been tough. We lacked a clear tactic.'' The experienced striker answered, filling up the silence.

Y/N nodded, relieved at least one of them responded to her attempt at conversation. She took a peek at Beth, who did not seem amused in the slightest to talk about the surprising defeat earlier that day.

''It was just another match of us fucking everything up, and you kids having to unfuck it all.'' Beth said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

The youngest's eyes widened slightly at the cutting remark, not expecting those words to come out of the Brit's mouth.

Vivianne shifted uncomfortably in her seat, casting a quick glance at Y/N before fixing her gaze on her partner. "Beth, that's enough.'' Her voice was stern, warning Beth that this was not the way to go about this.

But Beth ignored her girlfriend, her eyes fixed on Y/N with an intensity that made her squirm. ''No, she needs to learn to not talk about teammates that way, especially the ones that have just gotten back from serious injuries, and need time to reintegrate into the group.''

Y/N felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck, she cast a desperate look at Vivianne, silently pleading for her to intervene and diffuse the situation before it escalated any further.

''Beth, I wasn't-''

''You weren't what? You weren't talking shit to Kyra about us right after the match? You weren't talking shit about us to Kyra on the phone just now?'' The oldest continued in an accusing tone.

Vivianne let out a sigh, her frustration evident as she attempted to defuse the situation. ''Beth.'' She said firmly, her gaze shifting between the two other people at the table.

''I wasn't talking shit about you guys. I would never do that.'' Y/N managed to let out, offended at the mere idea of her not appreciating the two women who'd let her move in with them a 1,5 years ago.

''Y/N, we heard you. On the pitch after the match, with Kyra.'' Beth responded bluntly.

Y/N swallowed hard, slightly ashamed of being caught. ''We were just... we were just frustrated, okay? That comment wasn't directed at any of you guys, it was more at Jonas, to be fair.''

The couple grew silent at the admission, realizing they had greatly misunderstood the two young girls' conversation. ''About Jonas?'' Vivianne repeated, her voice carrying a note of embarrassment.

The young striker nodded. ''Yeah, me and Kyra have just been a bit upset with our game time, that's all. It felt like a repeat of the Tottenham game.''

Beth and Vivianne exchanged a glance, coming to a silent understanding. ''We're sorry for jumping the gun on that one, darling. We really thought we needed to teach you some manners.'' The Brit nervously apologized with a chuckle.

''It's alright, we probably should've been a bit more discreet.'' Y/N brushed her apology off with a hand gesture.

''No, you two are in your full right to complain.'' Vivianne retorted, agreeing on the playing time matter.

The teenager waited a few moments before elaborating. ''I don't mind sitting on the bench, it's great to get rest, you know? But it almost feels like he doesn't trust me to get the game starting or something. I like to think I did great last season, so this kind of sucks.'' She opened up, not having voiced these thoughts to anyone but Kyra.

''You did amazing last season, you stepped up when we needed someone and the team will never forget that.'' Beth smiled, squeezing the youngster' s hand.

''It seems that Jonas forgot.'' Y/N muttered bitterly, looking down at her empty plate.

The couple silenced themselves at her mumbled words, not knowing what the appropriate response would be to cheer her up about the situation. They were indirectly responsible for the young girl to not get as much game time anymore, so whatever they would tell her, she would most likely not feel much better afterwards.

''Just focus on what you're doing right now. Show up to training, recover well, maximize everything in the minutes you do get. Show him that he should trust you to start, and that you deserve to have that spot in the line-up.'' Vivianne chimed in, her voice soft but resolute.

Y/N nodded at the older woman's words, though her demeanor still seemed dejected. ''Yeah, I'll continue to do that.'' It came out somewhat passive aggressive.

''I know it doesn't fix the situation, but you're my personal star girl, regardless whether you play or not.'' Beth softly smiled at her.

The teen managed to crack a small smile back, appreciating the sentiment. ''Thanks, Beth.''

''You're mine too.'' Vivianne added.

''Hey, that's my compliment for her! Find another one if you want to be cute!'' Beth scolded her partner, dramatically feigning annoyance.

The Dutchwoman frowned. ''Everyone calls her ‘star girl'! You're not original either!'' She pouted back.

Y/N couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the banter between the couple, happily accepting the momentary distraction from her frustrations.

Beth playfully rolled her eyes. ''At least I'm complimenting her!''

''Sorry that I was just giving useful advice, Bethany.'' Vivianne retorted.

''Useful.'' The Brit repeated, her voice heavily tinged with sarcasm.

Vivianne's mouth gaped, pretending to be offended. ''It was useful! That's what I would have wanted to hear at 19 year-old.'' She defended herself.

''19 year-old's want to hear praise, Viv. They want to be called star girls, not receive a lecture.'' Beth quickly replied, with a smirk.

''Y/N, it was useful, right?'' The older striker turned towards the teenager.

''Yeah, Y/N, tell Miss Miedema how useful her advice was.'' Beth chorused her words, grinning from ear-to-ear.

The youngster simply glanced between the two of them, before picking up her empty plate and standing up from her seat. ''I'm taking this as my sign to leave.''

She ignored their pleas with a satisfied grin, making her way to the kitchen to dump her plate, and walking back to her room.

The couple watched her depart, sharing a knowing look, a hint of amusement dancing in their eyes. ''She's gonna call Kyra, isn't she?'' Vivianne chuckled.

''She so is.'' Beth agreed with a laugh.

requests are always welcome!

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #arsenal wfc x reader #arsenal x reader #woso imagine #woso fic #beth mead x reader #vivianne miedema x reader #kyra cooney cross x reader #meadema

[meademalove]

Viv looks so happy for them 🙏🏼😍❤️

#meademalove #ask meademalove #beth mead #arsenal women #arsenal #awfc #meadema #vivianne miedema #viv miedema #arsenal wfc #leah williamson

[dutchmeadema95]

What love language screams Meadema?

I think all five fit but mostly equality time, physical touch and words of affirmation.

Both speak highly of the other in interviews and can't go one day without mentioning the other 😅

Throuple dates are a thing too like nurse Beffy said.

And physical touch.. well we witnessed the cutest hugs and they have that huge ass couch, so cuddles while watching football will end their day perfectly.

#woso soccer #arsenal wfc #awfc #beth and viv #vivianne miedema #viv miedema #beth mead #woso community #meadema #woso #beth mead and vivianne miedema #myle meadema

[wosoamazing]

Diabetes

Summary: You join arsenal and move in with Beth and Viv, you're nervous how everything will go, but ultimately it was perfect

Warnings: Diabetes, Hypoglycaemia, Glucagon shot, let me know if anything else.

A/N: Just a bit of a cute fluffy fic, I tried to get everything right medically but IDK if it is perfect. I hope you like it. If I did get something wrong let me know. Also as always happy to do part 2s if requested but pls add some detail on what you want to see.

You were originally going to move in with Leah however the Medical Team said it would be best for you to live with two people, so you moved in with Beth and Viv, you were very nervous as to how they would perceive you, and whether they would be accommodating of your diabetes or not. You knew the medical team had discussions with them and that the club had forced them to do the emergency training for really bad lows and highs, what you didn't know was that they asked the club if they could find them some more training courses, they had done just about everyone single one, from how to use a Dexcom and an Omnipod as these were the devices you used, to how to live everyday life with diabetes. 

So when you turned up to their house you were very surprised to see some snacks sitting out on the bench, each with a piece of paper next to them, with the amount of carbs in them. They had really gone out of their way to help you settle in and make your life easier.

“Um, we have something to show you.” Beth said, kind of hesitant, you followed them over to a cupboard, “Um, it might be a little silly but this is for you,” she said as she opened the cupboard. It was empty other than some shelves, and draws, some organisation baskets, a mini fridge and a basket full of lollies. “There are some juices in there, we didn’t know what flavour you liked so we bought a pack of each, if you don’t like a flavour that's okay, we also got you these, they are all 15g of Carbs each, um but we can buy anything else you want or prefer, and um we thought you could put all of your supplies in here so they are organised and there is even a label maker so we can label the draws and stuff if you want oh and this is for you I suppose.” She said as she picked up a phone, it was a brand new iPhone 15 “it's more for the club, they were originally going to by you a android but we told them you wouldn't use it so yeah, the idea is we connect it to you sensors as like an additional deceive, so that everyone has access to your levels, so like at night we will keep it beside our bed so if anything happens we are alerted and during games the medical staff will have it and during training I think Kelly is mainly going to have it.” you nodded knowing you couldn't speak, the kindness of both women, and seeing how much they more cared and were going to 100% help you caused you to become emotional you felt a single tear roll down your face, causing the pair to pack lightly “You could have a cupboard somewhere else if you wanted or we could show you, your bedroom, it's pretty bare but we had plans to take you shopping so you could decorate it and make it your own,” another tear roll down your face, “are you okay, did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong?” you shook your head “th-thank you” Beth pulled you in for a hug “it's nothing really” but it was something it was everything, it was perfect. You spent your day moving in. 

You set up the cupboard first, you drew a plan of where everything was going to go, detailing it before everything started to get put into the cupboard. Your plan worked very well and the cupboard was very organised and practical. Viv thought it was quite cute, she was going to like this side of you very much. Once you had set up the cupboard you got to go shopping, first you went to the homemaker centre, buying some bedspreads, pillows, and decorations from multiple different shops, to make more room in the car you had to do a pit stop at home, chucking it sll through the front door, before heading back out for lunch, it was the first time Beth and Viv had experienced eating out with Diabetes, well even just eating and diabetes. You were very well practised at it, and helped Beth and Viv learn, showing them how you did everything, you taught them how to estimate carbs, but that differently needed practise on their end, you also showed how you can either your phone or your pod controller to set up the insulin delivery and you even pricked their fingers to test their levels for fun, you liked how they weren’t over cautious about it and how they weren’t treating you differently, and also the fact that they didn’t see it as annoying, really you just liked everything about them. You then went to IKEA to get a desk, a chest of drawers and some other items for your bedroom. Once you got home you set up your room, you were putting your clothes away when you were interrupted by Beth and Viv calling you down for dinner.

“Stuffed capsicums!” You yelled as you walked into the kitchen.

“Inside voice,” “Vivvy, it’s cute, your parents told us they were one of your favourites and we thought after the lunch we had today they would be a good choice, how many do you want?”

“Two please, thank you,” “you’re welcome, if you want we can sit on the couch and watch a movie.” you nodded your head before making your way over to the couch.

-

“Come in,” Viv said after you knocked on the door, her face dropped when you opened the door and she saw your red puffy eyes, and tear stained cheeks. You had been crying because you were so relieved and happy, and you wanted to thank them again.

“Kleintje, is everything okay?” Viv asked, causing Beth to pop her head out of the bathroom mid teeth brushing, the sight of you caused her to quickly move back to the bathroom rinsing out her mouth before pulling you in for a hug.

“T-thank you, for everything, it was perfect, you didn’t have to do any of it”

“Of course Kleintje,” Viv walked over to the two of you joining in the hug.

“We want you to feel welcomed and comfortable, it is now your house too. But please if you need us for anything at all you can come wake us up, our door is always open.” 

“Figuratively, not literally” you giggled slightly at Viv’s comment.

“Let's all go to sleep. Hey. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow” Beth said.

_____

Your second day was a training day, you Beth and Viv arrived early, as you had a few meetings, the first one was with Jonas and Kelly, about everything but also your diabetes, then the medics and some other people, Beth and Viv came with you to all of them. As you sat in the tactical session, you sipped on your apple juice popper as you listened intently, trying to ignore Beth and Steph’s talking, you were one to think tactics were a major part of the game, something else Viv would come to like. You then had a short gym session and then it was lunch, everyone was wondering what it was going to be, you already knew but decided not to tell them, you had been given the menu for the week, to select some things that you would want, so that they could make up a plate for you, ensuring they could tell you the exact amount of carbs. You walked in to find your plate sitting on the bench next to all the other food, it was a chicken burger, on wholemeal bread rather than a burger bun, you also had some snacks. There was a piece of paper next to it that had your name on it and the amount of carbs in each item, including each item of the burger. You picked up your plate and walked over to Beth, who pointed to the table she usually sat at, so you sat down there, waiting for her and others to join you, Kelly soon walked in with your kit, which you accidentally forgot at the meeting, you took it from her gratefully and she told you what would be happening in training so you had some idea of how much you needed to adjust your insulin. You picked up your phone and checked to see what it said your sugars were at, your phone said your sugars were at 90 which was perfect considering your target range was between 80-100, you were unzipping your kit when some of the team came to sit down, Beth sat next to you, Steph, Katie, and Caitlin also sat down. You pulled out your lancing device and pricked your finger, using your metre to confirm your reading before putting the units you needed for the burger into your pod controller.

“Do you mind us asking?” Katie questioned what you were doing.

“Um, I have diabetes, I was diagnosed when I was two, but it means that I have to manually control my blood sugars. My body doesn't do it at all, so I have to calculate the insulin I need for when I eat," "Right,” she nodded her head.

____

You had a few hiccups with your diabetes since living with Beth and Viv, but nothing major, however that was going to change. It was the 60th minute and you felt your body start shaking, the medics hadn’t called a paused or called you over and even thought you felt funny at half time your levels were normal, if anything slightly high, but you knew you were low, not only was your body shaking, but your brain hurt and felt foggy, you were also struggling to not fall over. You knew you needed to get off the pitch soon, before you passed out. A corner gave you the perfect opportunity to tell Beth you were low, you walked up to her, she looked at you confused and concerned.

“L-Low” you managed to say to Beth before you collapsed forward on her, she lowered you to the ground and the ref immediately blew the whistle, the medical team was on the pitch immediately, players from both teams were starting to form a huddle around you, trying to protect you from the media.

-

They were checking your sugars, as Beth got a Glucagon shot ready, she was ready to go when she got the nod of approval from the medics. Beth injected the shot into you and you were immediately rolled onto your side by the medics, waking up just moments later, in a panicked state, sitting up. 

“It’s okay, you passed out from being low, we had to give you a Glucagon, but it’s okay, you’re going to be okay.” Beth said as she rubbed your back.

“S-sta-stay?” you managed to get out eyes wide open with fear.

“Go with her, I’ll tell Jonas,” Beth nodded.

Viv met you and Beth in the medical room, she sat on a chair while Beth sat on the bed with you, you were given some gummy bears as well as an apple juice popper, to try and elevate your levels, you were still shaky and sweaty but your vision was completely clear and the medics and paramedics cleared you, which meant you didn't have to go to the hospital, but Beth and Viv had very strict instructions to take you to the hospital if certain things happened, such as seizures, loss of consciousness and others. 

“Do you want to go home now Kleintje?” you nodded as you ate a gummy bear.

_____

You were very nervous for your first camp, for how the staff would handle your diabetes but more so the team. The last game you played for Arsenal was the one you passed out during. You visited your endo after that incident and he had recommended putting tape over your sensor and pod when you played. The sensor had slightly pulled out during your arsenal game and so it wasn't actually reading your blood sugar.

It was your first training session and Beth had helped you, with the supervision of the medical team, put tape around your arms covering your sensor and pod, it was so you could get used to the feeling of it before your first game. You weren't required to have tape over your sensor and pod during training as you had frequent breaks which you could be checked during.

-

As you warmed up with Lauren Esme and Niamh, Ella and Alessia walked over to you.

“Why do you have tape on your arms?”  Ella asked. “Ella you can't just ask that” Mary said as she walked over with Beth, who had overhead the question, so she stood behind you placing her hands on your shoulders. “You don't have to tell them.” Beth whispered in your ear, you did want to tell them but you weren't sure you wanted to tell them right now.

“Oh um,” you were saved by Sarina calling the team over. While Sarina talked one of the medics came over to you, she handed you the phone and you saw your reading, being nodding and sticking your hand out to her, hoping that somehow in the non contact warm up the sensor had moved and that reading wasn't true, as if it was you most likely weren't going to get to do training this morning. You were handed a small container filled with 6 sour worms which told you the reading was true, you opened the container and started to eat them while Sarina kept talking.

“Why don’t we get sour worms?” Ella whined.

“Because you’re not special enough.” you inform her, causing everyone to break out into laughter.

“I like her,” Millie said as she high fived you. Sarina ignored all the commotion, she was obviously used to it and just continued talking. “Y/N could I just talk to you quickly?” she said as you and the girls started to disperse, you nodded and walked over to her.

“Sorry Sarina. I didn’t mean to-” “No, that's not what I wanted to speak about but I appreciate the apology. I wanted to talk to you about telling the girls, is it something you would like to do?”

“Um, yeah I think, I just don’t know how to tell them and like I don't want them to think of me differently”

“That's okay, I think sooner rather than later would be better, maybe today during dinner? During the announcements. Beckky could help you, or even Beth or anyone you wanted, I could even just tell them and we wouldn't need to discuss it if you wanted.”

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #awfc x reader #awfc #arsenal wfc #beth mead x reader #viv miedema #meadema #lionesses x reader

[samkerrworshipper]

revival | arsenal x reader

arsenal reader has been struggling more than she’d ever admit.. when it becomes to much she attempts to take her life but her teammates refuse to let her kill herself when she has so much more to live for.

warnings: do not read if you are triggered by suicide attempt, pill overdose, cutting, severe depression, angst, hurt/comfort

You didn’t know what had gotten you to this stage. Sitting on the bathroom floor of your apartment, staring down at an empty bottle of pills lying beside you on the floor. You weren’t sure exactly what had gotten you here, weren’t sure what switch had flicked in your brain this morning that had made you feel so positively broken from the inside out.

All you know is that right now you can feel deep purple, mauve and maroon bruises developing on your knees, from being hunched over the toilet bowl for so long.

Just when you begin to think that you’re empty, just when you think that there is nothing more that could be ripped away from you, you feel your muscles tense again as more bile is released.

Obviously, you knew the concoction of pills you took wouldn’t sit well, but you didn’t realise it would kick in this fast. You’d figured you’d have time to come to terms with the end of your life, or at least have time to scribble out a not.

But, all the pills you’d forced down your throat now resided in the toilet bowl, a mixture of stomach acid and medication pooling on the surface of the water.

It’s then that you make the decision that it’s time to take a different approach.

As you palm the metal blade, the cold sharp edge gently digging into your skin.

All you can think about is your team, your family, your home.

You think of the cold meal sitting on your kitchen bench.

At first, the metal burns, it stings and sears.

Almost as painful as the burning tears leaking down your cheeks.

Slowly, as more pressure is applied, your wrist is warmed by the pooling scarlett puddle dripping down onto the bright white tiles.

You’ve been sitting on the cold floor for way too long for your liking, your wrists pressed to the flooring to try and calm the burning sensation that’s spread all across your forearms.

If you try hard enough, you can convince yourself that the burning sensation is just another football injury.

You try and picture it, lying on the grass of a pitch, your arm throbbing with pain.

It only works for as long as your brain believes it, which is a total of ten seconds.

It’s been a long day, long week, long month, long year.

A long time pretending you're happy.

A long time try to convince everyone you’re happy.

A long time trying to persuade yourself that you’re happy.

A long time lying.

You’ve become so consumed with the lies that it’s hard to not be completely committed to them at this stage.

The only thing that reminds you of exactly where you are is the cold tiles against your arms, the warm blood and cold tiles mixing together like a thunderstorm.

The only sound to be heard across your apartment is the steady sound of blood dripping onto the tiles.

You think about your goodbyes, think about how this is the end, that you are content with this being it for you.

You’ve been at peace with this decision for a long while, longer than you’d ever care to admit.

It’s not really a decision for you, more like a losing battle.

In the last year, you’ve lost more of yourself than you thought possible, you don’t feel like you belong to yourself anymore, you don’t belong to yourself anymore. At one stage, a while ago, you loved yourself, you cared about yourself, you did your best to care. It hurt, feeling like you were no longer a owner of your body, maybe if you weren’t no longer classified as two different parts would you feel this way, or maybe it would make it harder, because maybe it wouldn’t feel like you were just getting rid of a body that you no longer belonged to, this was all to easy.

Your body was now something to be sold, something to be advertised, something to be purchased by the public.

You supposed that came from being a champion, being famous, being good at what you did.

Maybe, if you’d never become a famous soccer player none of this would have happened, you wouldn’t be lying on your bathroom floor, your vision slowly blurring and your blood leaking out steadily from your arms.

You walk towards the darkness, allowing it to embrace you as you slowly approach it without any resistance.

There was no fight for you, no hope or thoughts of redemption, this was your end, your demise, your final page, and that was okay.

You let the darkness completely cloud your vision, your body slowly being wrapped up by the accepting white light at the end of the tunnel.

It’s warm and comforting and you let your body rest, let it finally have the respite that it was so desperate for.

You felt yourself fade, far away with no intention of coming back.

You’d felt like you were gone, but you were brought back by more overwhelmingly white light in your vision.

Was this heaven?

Was this the end?

Was this it?

You were in pain, your head, your throat, your arms.

It was this thought that made you think you could be wrong.

Was this hell?

Or was the overwhelming white light just your bathroom tiles?

You cancelled out the tile idea, because you could feel your eyelids were closed, which meant that the white couldn’t be sourced from your home.

Your ears were ringing and as everything began to come back to you, it became terrifyingly clear that this could not be any of your previous assumptions.

Death wasn’t this painful, death wasn’t supposed to have any feeling.

Death didn’t feel like a warm bed and it definitely wasn’t consciousness.

This wasn’t the great beyond, this wasn’t the end, this was something else that you couldn’t quite pin down.

As your senses began to come back to you, your hearing and slowly your consciousness you began to become certain that whatever this was, it was not your end.

The sound of a constant machine beeping gave you an inkling as to where you might be, you just silently prayed that you were wrong, silently prayed that you would wake up in your red soaked tile bathroom and not a hospital.

You could clean up, try again.

You couldn’t handle being forced to recover, being forced to talk about your feelings.

It wasn’t something on your agenda, it wasn’t a part of your intricate demise.

You didn’t want to open your eyes, you weren’t even sure if you could, but you wanted to understand your situation, to understand what was happening.

So, you used every piece of your energy that was left, to every so slowly crack open your eyes.

It was more overwhelming white, that took a good deal of blinking to work through, but eventually, a blurry version of your surroundings began to appear in the corners of your eyes.

It confirmed your suspicions, you were in a hospital.

Which you hated, but you had also been prepared for, it made you feel insanely unaccomplished.

It took a lot of blinking and squinting for you to fully take in your surroundings.

The part that stumped you the most, and made you feel like you were hallucinating was the sea of red hoodies that were sitting, sleeping and lying around your room.

It was dark outside, the room was still lit up with machines and the bright white light from the corridor, but you figured that most of your teammates were fast asleep.

It was good, it gave you some extra time to take in your surroundings.

You were covered in cords and wires, your body completely moving even as you tried your very hardest.

Both of your wrists were bandaged tightly, to the point where you were completely unable to even wiggle your fingers.

It was daunting to you, the complete inability to do anything but lie in the bed and bear witness to your inability to do anything besides that.

Just as you were beginning to get truly distressed, one of the red blobs in your peripheral popped up out of their seat, making their way over to your bedside and tracing their hand over your one.

“Hey, ducky, it’s okay, I’ve got you, deep breaths. You’re okay.”

It’s Beth’s voice that hits your ears, and it has the reverse effect, making you more stressed out about the fact that she’s here witnessing this.

“Honey, it’s okay, big deep breaths for me, you’re okay.”

Beth’s hand moves up to your chest, your chest that is covered with a scratchy hospital gown.

“I shouldn’t be here, I-I-I’m supposed to be dead.”

Your words are croaky and chesty, almost unrecognisable but Beth manages to decipher them, and it almost brings tears to her eyes.

“Hey, hey, absolutely not. I thank every single god that you're here and awake right now, it is a miracle that you are here.”

This was not a miracle.

This was a fucking tragedy.

Beth’s face though, it was enough to send a deep pain to your stomach, deep guttural pain that hurt more than anything else.

“S-should be dead, wish I was dead.”

Beth’s face just drops, tears springing from her eyes and falling down onto the hospital sheets.

“Ducky, I promise you, we are all going to try our very hardest to make sure you never feel like that again. Get some more rest, we can sort this all out in the morning but you need your sleep, your body needs rest.”

You didn’t have energy to argue with Beth, so you nodded, relaxing back against the pillows and letting sleep and darkness return to the forefront of your brain.

When you awoke for the second time, it was less painful.

The sun was up this time, your room flooded with early sunbeams.

Overall the hospital was abuzz, to your extreme displeasure.

You were met with the eyes of some of your closest teammates, your words under the stars with Beth at the forefront of your mind as you looked at the extreme disappointment and sadness playing across their faces.

It hit home for you.

They all shared the same expression, all of you sharing the same situation that none of you wanted to be a part of.

“Hey Ducky, how are you feeling?”

Katie’s voice breaks the silence, her tone is full of emotion and you watch her mouth twitch to the side as she obviously tries her hardest to conceal the emotions that she is feeling.

“Like I wish I was dead.”

Nobody laughs, nobody says anything besides purse their lips and bite their tongues.

“We’re so glad you aren’t though, and we’re going to help you.”

We’re going to help you.

It’s five words, seven syllables, and the words that you least want to hear.

“Why couldn’t you just let me die?”

Your words manage to bring tears to the eyes of some of your teammates, you don’t care, all you can think about is the fact that someone, one of your teammates, had the fucking audacity to save you.

Leah’s the person to stand up, and take the same spot that Beth did last night, directly by your side, her hand resting on your own.

“Why didn’t I let you die? Why did I perform half an hour of chest compressions waiting for an ambulance whilst you bled out on your bathroom floor? Because you have a life that’s worth living, you have a gift for football, you are one of the brightest, happiest, smartest, best people I have ever met y/n, and this isn’t the end for you, it can’t be.”

You couldn’t meet Leah’s eyes, not with the knowledge that she had done this to you, she was the reason you were lying in a hospital bed instead of a coffin.

“You should have left me to die.”

Your words are broken, split in half by the knowledge that you were still fucking alive.

“You have a life worth living, kid, you’re only 21, there is so much more you have to give and I’ll be damned if this is it for you.”

You can’t meet any of your teammates' eyes, because it’s clear that they completely disagree with your actions, but there is still a part of you in your head telling you that everything would be better off if you were dead.

Your teammates wouldn’t have to pretend they care, they wouldn’t have too busy themselves with trying to save you from your impending death.

If you had any choice in it, you wouldn’t be this way.

If you could, you’d be happy and smiley, sweet, kind and soft. You’d be consistently happy, you would be the person smiling no matter what and someone easy to talk to, someone easy to love, someone that people wouldn’t let slip away.

You don’t have a choice though, this is who you are.

You are rough edges. You are a poorly labelled bottle of poison that people choke on as soon as they come into contact. You are a box of glass with a fragile sticker plastered all over and yet you still break, harming anyone who comes into contact.

When life gets hard, you quit.

There’s no way to explain why, everyone loves you until life is real and you need help, everyone is understanding until life isn’t pretty anymore.

You’ve never been loved through your lowest moments.

Never been loved when you can’t bring yourself to get out of bed, let alone shower.

Never been loved when the only thing that's playing in your head is how much you hate yourself.

Never been loved when the part of you that everyone loves suddenly dies.

Somedays, you are fairly certain that you are impossible to love. You don't know the kind of happiness love provides, you don’t know how to open up or trust, because no one ever loved you enough for that.

Other days, you remember that you are only 21, and maybe one day it won’t be this way.

You wish you were tender, you wished you were glowy and soft.

You wished you were Beth or Jen, always happy and ready to make anyone who was feeling down feel a little bit better.

“Why couldn’t you have just let me die?”

Your cheeks are practically drowning in tears, Leah reaches up to wipe them, you try to stop her but you instead moan in pain as the searing burn spreads backup your arms.

At the sound of your discomfort Leah is recoiling immediately, her hands falling down to your tightly wrapped arms and pressing them gently back down into the blankets.

“Hey, no, these need rest, you did some serious nerve damage, we won’t know the severity until you’ve got some strength back.”

Fuck.

“Nerve damage?”

Collateral damage had never crossed your mind, because you weren’t supposed to be alive right now, so why would collateral damage matter?

“Yeah, you could have severed or done some serious damage to your nerves, if they are cut then you’ll need a nerve replacement to regain the sensation.”

You blink a few times, staring up at the roof and willing the tears leaking down your face to fo away.

“I should have died.”

Leah, in all of her honesty, nods.

“Yeah, you should have. They had to pump your stomach to get rid of all the drugs you’d consumed, and you need 38 stitches and three pints of blood. You should be dead, but you aren’t and the fact that you aren’t is a fucking miracle.”

You wouldn’t call this a miracle, not from any point of view.

“When can I play again?”

You’re not sure if you’ll make it till that point, but it’s a question worth asking, there are big things coming up, on both a national and club level.

“Excuse me?”

Leah is shocked, and extremely taken aback by your question, so much so that she just stutters over her words.

Before she chokes on her words, Katie steps in.

“Kid, you almost died yesterday.”

You shrug, you figured it was a question worth asking, but Katie’s voice told you that to her it was a stupid question.

“A week? Two weeks? A month?”

You're grasping for something, trying to find the long straw in a pile of short ones.

“Kid, you tried to kill yourself, you almost succeeded, there are bigger things to focus on for you right now then getting on the pitch.”

A part of your brain disagrees so heavily.

“I have to go, they’ll take my passport and my licence and I’ll never be allowed to play again.”

All of the girls share knowing looks, but the general idea is that there is a general discomfort across the room.

“Ducky, look at me.”

It’s Katie’s strong Irish accent, the voice she uses when she’s captaining her national team that forces your eyes from the roof to meet her own.

“They can’t make you do anything, you need to be here right now. There is a treatment plan, you tried to kill yourself, you can’t just leave, it doesn’t work that way.”

Your brain is screaming inside of your skull, pounding against the bone and muscle.

“Jorge never let us take a break, he told us if we ever tried to leave that they would take all of our identification, and our licence to play, I have to play, I was born to play, it’s the only thing I have.”

Slowly, without the efforts of any of the girls, you are starting to unearth some of the serious problems you’ve been dealing with for the last little while, especially coming off of the world cup.

They’d all noticed the change, noticed how after your national teams win, how parts of you had changed.

They all had their assumptions, especially after what happened with Jenni Hermoso and after some conversations with some of their Spanish companions, but nobody could provide an explanation for what was happening behind closed doors.

It was no secret to any of your teammates that Jorge was your biggest critiquer, you and Mapi had tried sticking up to him at the beginning of his career with the Spanish team, and it had landed you both in deep water.

Mapi, had been intelligent enough to leave the toxic environment when it had become too much, when it had seriously begun to affect her mental health.

You however, were not as good at identifying your emotions, and taking care of them, you pushed yourself to the point of breakage, this was a perfect example of that.

“Ducky, Vilda is gone now, you don’t have to worry, I’ll call Alexia, she’ll understand and she’ll talk to them for you. You need a break sweetheart, you need to talk about why you're struggling, there are bigger things to focus on right now than your career.”

You couldn’t disagree more, you were in your prime, you didn’t have time to take a break.

You also didn’t have time to live, there was nothing that plagued your mind more than the idea of trying again, as soon as you could remove yourself from the conservatorship of your arsenal teammates.

“I need to leave, I want to be discharged.”

It’s an attempt at regaining some of your dignity, one that doesn’t last very long.

“You’re on a 72 hour psych hold, 24/7 supervision whilst you're recovering. Everyday you will see a psychologist and after the 72 hours they’ll deem if you are ready to leave, if they believe you can be trusted to leave then you’ll go home with Beth and Viv for the foreseeable future. For the first few weeks, you’ll be under complete supervision, you’ll see a therapist every few days and once you’ve made some serious progress we’ll look at getting you back into training.”

You forced yourself to take a deep breath, and a big gulp, trying to force down the lump that was prominent in your throat.

“You can’t do that, I don’t want to see a therapist, I don’t need to see a therapist.”

Most of the women in the room roll their eyes.

“Ducky, we’ve all been worried about you for weeks, but you refuse to talk to any of us, clearly something led to this and if you won’t talk to us about it you need to talk to a professional.”

You don’t want to admit that a part of you is secretly terrified of seeing a therapist, because what if they see right through you? What if all they see is all of your insecurities and imperfections, just as Jorge did?

“I can’t see a therapist, don’t wanna.”

Before Katie can speak, previously silent Viv stands up at her seat and joins the crowd around your bedside.

“I know it's scary, kid. I started seeing someone when I was around your age and struggling. It was so hard, it was terrifying. I didn’t want to admit I was struggling, and then one of my teammates caught me harming myself whilst having an anxiety attack. I had to go see one to play again, and it sucked to start with, but it helped me so much, we all just want the best for you, and you need help, there is nothing wrong with accepting that.”

The remaining women sitting in the room stand up, surrounding your bedside.

Beth, Leah, Katie, Caitlin, Lia, Kim, Steph, Viv, Jen, Laura and Lotte.

It’s a crowd, and the taller girls have to stand behind because they don’t all fit, and even if they aren’t directly hugging you, you are overwhelmed with the amount of love radiating off of them, it’s too much.

“No-no, I can’t do this, you guys can’t do this to me. There is nothing wrong with me, I’m fine, I’m fucking fine.”

It’s clear that none of them believe you, you expect them to step back, but they don’t.

“No you’re not liefje, people who seriously try to take their lives are not okay. You don’t have to be, we’re all here to support you, you just need to let us, let us be here for you, let us be a shoulder for you to cry on.”

Your breaths shudder, you can’t meet any of their eyes, it hurts you to know that they all think this of you.

“I didn’t mean to.”

It’s a lie that you push out, you're trying to find anything to argue about, anything to distract from what was actually happening.

“Ducky, it would be okay if you did. You’ve been struggling and it’s understandable. All we want from now on is for you to be honest with us, no judgement, just tell us what you are feeling.”

Beth’s voice is so soft, you almost want to give in, but Vilda is in your head, screaming at you for being weak and vulnerable after passing out on the pitch after playing with the flu, and your reminded once again that there isn’t space in the world for people like you to have feelings.

“I want you to fucking believe me when I tell you that I am fine and stop suffocating me.”

All of the women share looks above your head, and somehow, telepathically, majority of them sag off from the huddle, leaving you room.

You're left with the main group of girls who have been controlling the situation.

Viv, Beth, Leah, Kim and Katie.

“liefde, you clearly aren’t fine. Whatever it is, you can talk to us, we’re here for you, whatever you need.”

It shouldn’t cause you to break down, but the pain in your heart and the look in Viv’s eyes sends you barrelling over a very high cliff.

You're sobbing, and struggling to breathe, blood rushing to your ears and preventing you from feeling anything besides the deep depression that has been building up in you for years now.

It hits you like a double decker bus.

Before you can really start to panic though, someone is climbing onto the bed beside you, bringing you into their lap and arms and embracing you.

“It’s okay ducky, we’ve got you, you’re safe with us.”

The sweet nothings are murmured lowly into your ear, the genuinity continuing until the mixture of a mental breakdown and panic attack subside and you’re just a tired, pained mess.

“M’ sorry.”

Your words are hummed into the chest of whoever has climbed in beside you in the hospital bed.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, do you want to talk about it?”

The long answer is no, you don’t want to talk about any of it, but you can’t help the sense that a part of you might feel a little bit better if you let something off your chest.

“Talk about what?”

It’s a genuine question, because there is so much happening in your brain that you aren’t even sure where to start.

“Whatever you’d like.”

You think that’s a stupid statement, because for all Leah knows you could want to talk about the weather, and that doesn’t seem particularly helpful.

“Jorge?”

It seems like starting with the source of your problems probably saves yourself from a lot of beating astound the bush.

“If that’s what you want, ducky, we’re all just here to listen to you, no matter what it is.”

You peak your head out of Leah’s sweater, and you’re met with the supportive faces of the four other women sitting around your bedside.

“When I started for him I was 16. For a long while, the older girls shielded me from him, Mapi and Jenni especially. But my young innocence only lasted so long, when I was 19, he did some really fucked up things, that was when he changed. Mapi, Claudia, Patri and I were the ones who spoke out, and it was the right thing to do, but it put a target on our backs immediately, especially with Alexia out with her ACL injury and unable to support us all. He was so mean to us all, always criticising, never giving us breaks, running us till we were sick or injuring ourselves. He used to wake us up at 2am in the morning to go running because he said we were getting lazy. It was around then that they all signed the statement to withdraw, and I would have loved to do it with them, but I just couldn’t. It only got worse from there for me, especially during the world cup, I was having panic attacks everyday and he couldn’t have cared less. All he did was push me, to the point where Alexia had to mind me everyday because of how bad I was getting.”

You took a deep breath, you wouldn’t allow yourself to look at them, not right now, not until you were done.

“That was when I started to think about killing myself. It wasn’t because I don’t love my life and my friends, but, Jorge was devoting his life to making mine a living hell, and nobody wants that. He never had anything nice to say to me, always criticism, always negativity. Then we won, and none of it mattered, but then there was everything in the press, and I was being slaughtered for all of it because apparently I was enabling his abuse, and I can’t handle that, I can’t handle being told that I enabled abuse that I was dealt for years, maybe I should have told someone, but who? All of the physios, all the doctors, they all worked for him, nobody was going to turn on him. He created an environment where all of us girls were miserable and competing against each other for no reason.”

Leah stopped you with a bone crushing hug.

They’d all heard stories about the Spanish Women’s team, speculation, rumours, hearsay.

But hearing first hand experience from their teammate, somebody they loved, it killed them all on the insides, because how could someone treat their ducky like that? How could someone be so horrible?

“Thank you for trusting us to tell us that ducky. You didn’t deserve any of that, nobody does. From now on, we’re all here for you, you don’t have to hide it all, no more hiding, we’re here for you every step of the way.”

You try your hardest to believe Leah, but it’s a uphill battle, especially when your brain is conditioned to think she is lying.

Leah seemed to notice how spent you were, your body completely relaxed against her, your state near catatonic.

“Get some sleep ducky, we’ve got you, I promise we’ll do everything to make sure you never feel like this again.”

When Leah says it, you believe her, because there is one thing that your mind can’t betray you about, and that is that Leah, and all the other women surrounding you would do anything to protect you, and to make sure that you felt loved, to make up for the lack that you’d been experiencing for the last while.

#woso #woso community #leah williamson #arsenal wfc #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson x arsenal #arsenalwfc #arsenal x reader #arsenal women #arsenal #leah williamson imagine #kim little #beth mead #woso imagines #woso x reader #woso imagine #love angst #baby vivi #vivianne miedema #meadema #katie mccabe #katie mccabe x reader #kim little x reader

[alotofpockets]

Just a scratch | Katie McCabe

Pairing: Katie McCabe x Reader & Meadema x Platonic!Reader

Prompt: "It's nothing, just a scratch."

Masterlist | Woso masterlist | Words: 945

You were beyond excited when Katie asked you if you’d like to meet Myle for the first time today. Ever since Katie had showed you the pictures of Beth and Viv’s little puppy, you’ve been wanting to meet her. Katie adored how excited you were and couldn't stop smiling when she looked at your happy features, while she drove the both of you to Viv and Beth's house. 

You give Beth and Viv a quick hug before rushing over to the little puppy, who was sitting on the arm of the couch looking at you with her head tilted to the side. Very intrigued about meeting a new person but also waiting because she's still a little shy. 

Katie laughs at the way you just flew past her teammates, and greets them properly, before heading into the living room with them. You were already sitting on the couch with little Mylo slowly making her way over to you, sniffing her new surroundings to see if she liked you.

The trio watched how your face lit up when Mylo climbed onto your lap. Tears welled in your eyes the moment the pup tried to bump her little head to your hand, letting you know that she was ready for you to pet her. Katie made sure to snap a few pictures before handing Viv the present you got for Mylo. It was a little red scarf with white pom poms at the ends, representing snowballs. She had instantly reached for the scarf at the store, your girlfriend was a big fan of Christmas, and claimed “Mylo needs something festive this holiday season too.” You had simply kissed her cheek at her adorableness and grabbed and added both the scarf and an actual toy to your basket. 

Viv opened up the presents and put the scarf gently around Mylo’s neck. She started strutting like she was on the catwalk, making all of you laugh. When she fell over the little pom poms, Katie picked her up, and asked you to take a picture with the little Christmas pup. After playing some more Mylo made her way onto your lap, where she fell asleep peacefully. 

“Hey, so we actually had a question for the both of you.” Beth says as she takes Viv her hand and sits down with you and Katie. “We were wondering if the two of you would like to be Mylo’s godparents. What do you think?” Katie looked your way, her face lighting up when she saw how happy you looked by the question, as you were eagerly nodding your head. “I think that is a yes from both of us.” Katie answered for the both of you. She places a quick kiss on your temple, “You’re adorable.” She whispers when moving back. “And with that, y/n, we wanted to ask you if you would want to take care of little Mylo when we are away for national team stuff. We could arrange it however it would work best for you, of course, you could stay here or we could train Mylo to be at your and Katie’s place. I know you guys have Coopurr too, so if you say yes-” Viv wasn't even done with her sentence but you didn't need her to continue, you were ready to accept. “Yes, I would love that.” You say, stroking the little pup in your lap over her head. 

Since Mylo was still asleep on your lap, you decided to stay at the Meadema household while the rest of the girls made a quick trip to the grocery store, since you and Katie were going to stay over for dinner. It wasn’t long after they left that Mylo woke up and made her way over to her bowl of food and started eating like her life depended on it. You chuckled and pulled the pup away from the bowl, not wanting her to choke on the food, “Easy girl, there will be more later.”

You grabbed the toy you got her and started moving it around, to distract her from her food bowl for a bit. She started running after it, wagging her tail wildly. You loved the cuddly puppy so much already. She took the toy in her mouth and tried freeing it from your hands by roughly moving her head from side to side. Since she was still so little, her efforts didn’t result in much, so she started using her paws to push your hand away while pulling back with your head. She got the toy from your hand, only because one of her nails scratched the back of your hand and you dropped the toy as a response. Mylo looked worried when you shook your hand, her big eyes watching you, “Oh no, it’s okay, little one. It’s just a scratch.” You say while petting her. 

When the girls get back, you and Viv start preparing dinner while Beth and Katie plop down on the couch, quickly followed by Mylo, who had already gotten tired again from playing. You enjoyed a lovely dinner together, before you had to go back home. You didn’t want to say goodbye to Mylo but you knew you’d see the little puppy soon again, and couldn’t wait to fulfill your godparent duties.

Back in the car Katie leans over and places a kiss on your lips, “You’re going to be an amazing godparent to Mylo, and I can’t wait to get a thousand pictures of the two of you cuddled up together when I am away with the team.” You were looking forward to having another little cuddle buddy for when your girlfriend was away. 

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider leaving a tip 💗

#pockets celebration #katie mccabe #katie mccabe x reader #katie mccabe imagine #myle meadema #vivianne miedema #beth mead #meadema #woso #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #arsenal wfc imagine #arsenal wfc x reader #arsenal wfc #arsenal women

[katiemcabeswife]

'Transferring to Lesbianism'

Biv Meadema x Platonic Fem!Reader

Guys are cunts so you're 'transferring to lesbianism'.

Warnings: Guys are cunts, drinking, crying, swearing

You were upset, angry and scared. You’d been on a date with Nate, a guy who you’d met at a party and hung out with multiple times before, when he started making sexist ‘jokes’ and exclaiming his bewilderment on how popular women’s sport has become, claiming that ‘the game is a joke’ now that women were getting popular.

So you left.

You had talked about him to your friends, you had talked to him about your friends and about your passion for football and at the time he sounded genuinely interested. He was even supposed to come to your next game and to hear him pull a complete 360 made you question whether he had been faking it the whole time you had spent together.

It was well into the night and you didn't feel comfortable getting the bus, you'd had a few drinks so you couldn't drive and you didn't trust getting an Uber alone. While there were definitely other (better) options, you started walking home.

You lived in a good neighbourhood but you did have to go through some sketchy ones to get to your house so you kept your keys tight between your fingers. You could see a figure ahead of you but you tried to be optimistic and hoped they would leave you alone and let you walk right past them

Optimism is stupid.

"Hello there," A male voice called out before you could fully pass it. You ignored the man and gripped your keys tighter.

"I'm talking to you, pretty," Your brain melted when you remembered you were wearing a shirt that accentuated your boobs.

"Sorry, my dad's waiting on me, gotta hurry," You replied shakily and picked up your pace.

But of course, boys just don't know when to give up.

"I'm sure he won't mind you being a few minutes late." He was now walking backward in front of you.

"He has a temper." You stopped once you noticed his feet weren't moving as you hadn't dared to look him in the eyes.

"Well I could deal with-"

"Listen could you kindly fuck off?" You cut him off before trying to storm past him. He grabbed your arm. You were already angry and you just wanted to get home and cry.

He pivoted you towards himself, still gripping your arm and you took the opportunity to kick him in the dick. While he fell to the floor like a pussy and called you a bitch, you ran off.

You were well away from the guy and gave up on saving your tears until you got home. Your eyes were drawn to an orange light illuminating the puddles on the floor. A bottle of something couldn't hurt.

You were now sitting in a well-lit park and sipping on your bottle of something, crying. You looked around for a second before realising you were familiar with the park. Your drunken mind loved chatting, everyone knew it, especially your teammates.

"VIV!" You screamed when she picked up your call.

"Y/N, why are you yelling when it's so late?" Viv spoke quietly and you could hear the muffled sound of some movie playing in the background.

"I'M LITERALLY IN THE PARK RIGHT NOW!" You were so excited and you had to chat to someone about it.

"Are you alone?" Viv asked before you could hear keys rattling and her saying something to someone.

"Yes, but it's so nice. Boys aren't nice. Boys are-are cunts. I'm going to transfer to lesbianism." You gruffled and Viv had to try hard to not laugh.

"Where are you?"

"I'M IN THE PARK!" You exclaimed excitedly.

"Which one, hun," Viv desperately sighed.

"The one that's right 'round the corner of your house! That's why I called you silly!" You laughed before crying out when you spilled your bottle of something.

"Can you wait there for me? Go stand near the street, near the bus stop and I'll be there in 2 minutes. Ok?" She was definitely in the car.

"Are you coming to hang out with me!"

"Yeah! So you gotta go to the bus stop so I can find you quick," She was right around the corner now and she had her thumb in between her teeth, scared about the state she was about to find you in.

"OMG! I literally see you!" Viv pulled over and hopped out of the car.

"Hey, what are you doing here, Y/N?" She pulled the bottle out of your hands and put it in the bin before taking your shoulders between her hands.

"Well I was on a date with Nate and then he started being all sexist and cocky and cunty so I left but I had already had a few drinks and I didn't want to catch the bus or get an Uber because they scare me. So I started walking home but then this guy came up to me and started talking to me and wouldn't leave me alone and then he grabbed me and it really hurt! So I kicked him in the balls and ran off and I was just so sad! So I went and got myself a drink and then I saw the park, where we are literally standing right now, and I was like OMG! Viv and Beth live around here, maybe if I wait I might get to see them and then I got impatient so I called you and now here we are!" You were huffing and puffing at this point before you started crying again.

Viv was quick to pull you into a hug, "Hey, it's alright. Maybe you should come with me and you can stay with me and Beth? Yeah?"

"Oh, I would really like that," You muffled into her shoulder. Viv helped you into the car before taking off. The drive was only 2 minutes but you had a lot to say. Especially about 'transferring to lesbianism'.

"OK, let's get you inside and to bed shall we?" Viv asked as you were walking up the front steps.

"But I want to hang out," You whined.

"What if we go and get brunch tomorrow?"

"Oh, I would really like that," You were in the door now and Beth was waiting for you in the kitchen. You broke out from Viv's hold and pounced on Beth, "Beffy! Guess what!"

"What?" She spoke gently and stroked your head that was resting on her chest, sharing a worried glance with Viv who looked deeply concerned.

"Guys are cunts so I'm transferring to lesbianism to be with you guys and like the rest of the team!" You were so sleepy and so sad, Beth lightly rocking you and petting your hair was helping you calm down.

"That's great?" She shook her head confusingly towards Viv, "Let's get you to bed now though,"

"Oh, I would really like that," The girls had you drink a glass of water and got you changed into some of their clothes before tucking you in for the night.

“Can we go to the park tomorrow?” You asked Beth who was sitting next to you on the guest bed, Viv watching with a small smile from the door.

“Of course, now off to sleep, you,” She kissed your forehead and you giggled.

The girls left the room and walked to the kitchen, “What on earth happened?” Beth whisper- yelled.

“Something about Nate being sexist and then a random guy wouldn’t leave her alone and grabbed her arm, she kicked him the balls and then she went and got a bottle of rum before drinking it in the park around the corner,” Viv nodded lightly at Beth who looked like she was about to cry.

“Poor baby,” Beth sympathised.

Viv laughed a little, “And then she was going on about ‘transferring to lesbianism’.”

Beth joined in, “I think she told me that?” The pair laughed before Viv took Beth into her arms.

“Let’s get to bed?” She questioned and Beth agreed.

~

When you woke up, it took a while for your eyes to adjust to the light and for the memories from last night to flood your brain. You let out a whimper due to the pain behind your eyes and the awful night you had.

When your eyes adjusted as much as possible you lifted your head from the pillow and realised that you were at Beth and Viv's house. You sighed and pulled yourself from the comfort of the bed toward the kitchen where you could hear the girls chatting.

"Hey, Y/N/N, how're you feeling?" Beth asked pushing over a coffee and bottle of Advil.

"I'm sad and my head hurts." You pouted slightly before downing a couple of the pills.

Viv pulled you into a side hug, "Well, why don't we go to brunch?"

You rubbed your hands over your face and nodded, "Yeah, that would be nice,".

The girls gave you some clothes so you could properly wash off last night in the shower and get back into some clean clothes. The drive was silent bar the low volume of the radio and you all silently exited the car before entering the cafe.

It was only after discussing what everyone was going to get and then ordering that someone brought up last night, "Y/N, do you wanna talk about last night?" Beth asked shyly.

You down from the two girls sitting across from you and fiddled with your fingers, "I'm just sick of men and how they're still stuck in the 60s. I hate how people view women and how they treat them and I'm sick of people treating women's sport as inferior to men's. I don't even know why! Why are women subservient to men? I don't get it and I'm sick of it! Men genuinely believe that their greatest achievement is to be born men and then believe all the toxic ideas about what men are. Because they are utter losers, any time a woman does something considered masculine, they feel threatened and they believe genuinely that by being verbally abusive they are 'just being men'." You were deeply disturbed by the matter, so much so that you were crying in public. You rarely cry period, so crying in public shocked the couple.

Viv moved to sit next to you and hugged you, you burying your head into her neck, "Men are just insecure that women are doing better than them, they don't know how to act so they lash out. You're right, it's not good enough but you can't force people to change their views," She started before Beth took off where Viv left off.

"But you are changing people's perspectives! With your YouTube and the interviews you do, I've read the comments. Hundreds of girls are saying how you changed their brother's and dads' views on women's sports. I've even gotten some DM's asking me to thank you for it. You are doing everything you can and you are doing wonderfully, Y/N." She was holding your hand and now you were properly sobbing, gaining a few stares from other customers.

"You are doing great, Y/N and I know that I and all of the other girls on the team are so proud of you and you inspire us to do better and to advocate even harder. You should be so, genuinely proud of how well you are doing. You should also ever let anyone, especially a man tear you down." Viv was lightly patting your head.

You lifted your head from the crook of Viv's neck and took a deep breath. You had a drink of water and wiped your eyes, "Thank you guys," Your voice was quiet and still had a deep sadness to it.

"Anytime, Schatje," Viv comforted.

"Um, I have two breakfast sandwiches and one avocado sourbread?" A waitress approached your table, breaking the sadness/tension bubble that surrounded it.

"Yeah, that's us. Thank you." Beth took the plates and gave them to their respectful owners. Once the waitress had walked away Beth swallowed and turned to you with a smirk on her face, "So, Y/N, how's 'transferring to lesbianism' going?" Viv joined Beth in laughing and you looked at the two in utter confusion.

"Excuse me?"

#woso x reader #arsenal wfc x reader #beth mead #vivianne miedema #woso imagine #woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso soccer #womens football #vivianne miedema x reader #beth mead x reader #beth mead x vivianne miedema #meadema #beth and viv

[scribblesofagoonerr]

Our Wonder Kid | Mini Fic Series

⟫ A young teen reader gets seriously injured in a game & faces a downward spiral during her recovery.

pairings: meadema x teen reader, arsenal x teen reader

summary: teen reader is an extraordinary young player who is the youngest on the Arsenal and England women's teams. She is having a fantastic season, but unfortunately, she suffers a serious injury that tears her ACL. As a result, she spirals into a dark place and blames herself for what happened.

Luckily, she has the support of her mother figures, Beth and Viv, the rest of the ACL crew, as well as the rest of the team to help her through this difficult time.

warnings: heavy angst and mentions of topics such as self-harm, mental health and eating disorders.

⟫ I'm not even that sick!

Y/N is too stubborn to admit she's sick, even though it's obvious to the rest of the team.

⟫ Turmoil of events...

Y/N insists on playing despite being ill and ends up suffering the consequences on the pitch.

⟫ So, history is just repeating itself then?

The harsh reality of Y/N's injury comes to light as she has to deal with handling the news.

⟫ Please don't shut us out, kid.

Y/N has been struggling to come to terms with her injury and continues to push the girls away.

⟫ It's only up from here now on, kid

The day of Y/N surgery comes around a lot quicker than she would like, and it's not just her that is feeling nervous about it.

⟫ The journey to recovery begins now

Y/N is wallowing in her own self-pity, reluctant to ask for help even though she has a lot of people around her who care about her.

© scribblesofagoonerr

#woso x reader #arsenal x reader #woso #woso fanfics #beth mead x reader #vivianne miedema x reader #meadema #woso imagine #heavy angst #woso one shot #awfc x reader #engwnt x reader #woso fic #scribblesofagoonerr

[wosol0ver]

The girlfriend that carries the bags:

The girlfriend that carries absolutely nothing:

#lucy bronze #beth mead #ona batlle #vivianne miedema #luna #oncy #meadema #woso #barca femeni #arsenal wfc

[midnight-ramblingswfc]

It’s beautiful to watch🤩

#arsenal wfc #arsenal women #beth mead #vivianne miedema #meadema

[onna0]

softie of the year 👏🥲🥹

#arsenal wfc #arsenal women #awfc #woso #vivianne miedema #beth mead #meadema

[meademalove]

Beth, Viv, and Leah at Wimbledon, 2023.

#meademalove #ask meademalove #beth mead #vivianne miedema #viv miedema #meadema #beth and viv #beth mead and viv miedema #beth mead and vivianne miedema #leah williamson #beth and leah #viv and leahs friendship is beautiful

[dutchmeadema95]

if Viv extends her contract, what kind of announcement do you expect?

I would like a combined Viv& Stina announcement 😅

#woso soccer #arsenal wfc #awfc #beth and viv #vivianne miedema #viv miedema #beth mead #woso community #meadema #woso #stina blackstenius

[woso-lover]

I wish I were Beth | Vivianne Miedema

Vivianne Miedema x reader

Vivianne Miedema x Beth Mead

Summary: You've always liked Viv, but for her you are just a friend.

Based on: Heather by Conan Gray

English is not my first language

Warning: heavy angst

Masterlist

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater

You said it looked better on me than it did you

Only if you knew how much I liked you

"You shivering. Here, take my swaeter." Vivianne said and took off her sweater. Her shirt also lift up a bit and expossed her abs a little. With a blush you looked away. You took of your thin excuse of a jacket in the winter and pulled her sweater over your head.

She took your jacket in hand. "Better?" Viv asked with a smile, when she saw that you stopped to shiver.

"Yes, thank you, Viv" You nodded. With a smile in Vivs face she led you to your apartment. Today was Team-bonding. Y'all went, to Jen and her girlfriends request, bowling. You had a great time. And like everytime Vivianne made sure you gonna end up safe home in the dark.

After a few minutes you reached your apartment. The walk and your alone time with Vivianne was sadly over.

"Thank you Viv, for taking me home." You thanked her.

"No need to apologize. It's always a pleasure with you." She smiled at you.

You were about to take off her sweater, when she wouldn't have stopped you. "No take it. It looks better on you then on me."

"You're sure. It's your favourite." You asked her shyly.

"Of course or I wouldn't have said that. Now sleep well, Y/n/n. See you tomorrow" With that she left, but not before she leant down and kissed your cheek. You were left as a frusterated mess. It was something Vivianne never does. And it gave you hope that she maybe likes you too.

But I watch your eyes as she

Walks by

What a sight for sore eyes

Brighter than the blue sky

She's got you mesmerized while I die

Like she said you were meeting the next day. Well mostly because it was training, but you didn't care. You only cared that Viv was waiting outside for you. Or so you thought. Actually was Vivianne waiting for Beth, but Beth texted her that she was already there. But as she saw you, she waited until you reached the entry.

She greeted you and walked with you to the locker room in silent. Her focus was clued on her phone. You wanted to ask her something, but as Beth came into Vivs side, she waked up to her and greeted her with a long huge. A little to long for your liking. After they broke apart both looked into each others eyes. You looked in Vivs eyes, they were shining. You wished she would have looked like that at you by your grreeting. Vivs focus was completely on Beth as they both walked together to the locker room, smilling. You stood there still, with pain in your heart as you watched them.

Why would you ever kiss me?

I'm not even half as pretty

The reality hit you like a fist as Vivianne and Beth came out as a couple. All the hints you have seen as you watched the loveable Vivianne Miedema are facing you now. All the hints you tried to push away. All the hints you claimed to be platonic were right.

So here you are on a teambonding night at Leahs and Jordans, feeling your heart breaks into a thousand pieces. You zoned out as all your teammates asks them question about their realationship. You couldn't listen, it (would have) broke your heart more. One question or better request broke you out of the zoned. And god did you hated Caitlin in this moment.

"Alright then kiss" Caitlin giggled mischievous like a little kid. Katie, also not being better, agreed with Caitlin. Wich causes Caitlin to get a slap on the shoulder from her girlfriend, Lia.

You watched both of them with a smile. But unfortunately the rest also agreed with Caitlin. Wich made Viv blush. It was cute. But the good mood from the blush went away quickly as Beth gave Vivs lips a short speck. Vivs blush got redder as everyone cheered on them, the new it-couple of Arsenal. Exept for one, you. You couldn't. It was too hard and you hoped no one saw it and was too busy cheering.

After this day you tried to find out what was wrong with you. Why weren't you enough for Vivianne? You started to envy Beth. Not only that she had Viv, but you also envied how she looks. You watched her in training and in the locker romm (of course not like a creep, but you sent her a few glances). You saw good trained she was. You saw her biceps, her toned legs or her abs on her stomach. You weren't this much into training at the gym. So you tried to skip it as often as you could. But maybe you should have been going more to the gym. Maybe you would be more pretty and attraktive.

Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand

Put your arm 'round her shoulder

Another thing that broke your heart and makes it ache is their physical contact. Beth always had her hands on Viv. You got the feeling beth knows about your feeling towards Viv and tries to torture you. She always holds Vivs hand. Wherever they go, they always hold hands.

But not only Beth has her hands on Viv, then Viv would often put her arm around Beth shoulder. She would whisper things in Beths ear. Things that made both smile. Looks like you can and another thing to your envy list.

"Aren't they cute together?" Katie asked you as she caught you starring at them.

There it was again. The pain in the chest. The pain of a broken heart.

"Yeah they are" You answered, trying to smile. You were happy Katie didn't paid much attention to your face as you answered.

The truth is they were cute, so fucking cute. But also so painful. So painful to watch at, but you can't stop watching. It was like your brain wanted you to extra hurt. And when you finally stop looking, a teammate comes and ruin everything.

"Aww look at them" or "they're so cute it's disgusting" are things your teammates say. Not to you in paticular, but your hear them and it's enough for you to look at the couple again.

But how could I hate her? She's such an angel

But then again, kinda wish she were dead

There was this one thing you tried to do, while watching them: you tried to hate Beth. You thought it would be easy hating the woman who's girlfriend is the woman you have feelings. You thought it would be easy to hate someone. Spioler it wasn't.

You really tried, but you started to see what Viv sees in Beth. Beth was a kind, loveable woman, impossible to hate. And no one did in the team. She was like the walking angel. Even though you can't hate her, sometimes you still wish she was dead. It wasn't because you are a cruel person ir anything. You could never hurt a fly, neither wishing someone dead. But you did it to Beth. You couldn't explain why, well maybe you could. But wishing Beths death is something you know is really fucked up.

And now you don't know who you can blame for your broken. It would never been Vivianne, she's perfect in your eyes. You tried to blame Beth, you tried to hate. But you realized, it isn't her fault either. She was inlove with someone. She made the move, you didn't do. So you got it. It was you to blame. And only you in your eyes.

But you like her better

Wish I were Beth

#woso x reader #vivianne miedema x reader #meadema #beth mead #vivianne miedema #woso imagine #woso one shot #woso #arsenal wfc x reader #arsenal wfc

[samkerrworshipper]

meadema 🥹

#woso #woso community #beth mead u beauty #beth mead #baby vivi #vivianne miedema #meadema #arsenal wfc

[chrlvctius]

want what they have ☹️💗

#meadema #vivianne miedema #beth mead #meado #beth and viv #beth mead x reader #vivianne miedema x reader #vivianne miedema the woman that you areee 😫😫😫😫 #woso #woso community #arsenal #awfc #lionesses #arsenalwfc #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso drama #im too soft for this #the way viv stares at beth 😩💗