#mean to myself

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[charliebugz]

When Izzy first walked out I was worried that he would be made into a joke that the crew would laugh at

but then he started singing and the dancing began and I realized that he wasn’t meant to be a joke at all. This is the most open and happy we’ve ever seen Izzy and the show treated it that way. Not mocking him but instead celebrating this moment.

When we talk about queer representation it’s usually just focused on queer relationships, but what I love about this episode is it shows other sides of being queer. That moment where Izzy saw Wee John doing his makeup and had a realization that he wanted that too? That is what being queer means to me. The crew singing along and cheering for him? That is what being apart of the queer community means to me.

What i love about this show is that it shows queer joy, not in a sanitized way, but in away that is messy, beautiful, and without any mockery or shame.

#the fact i expected him to be made fun of just reflects how queer people are usually presented in media #i was preparing myself for an awkward scene full of secondhand embarrassment for izzy #but then it didn’t happen. And it just made me immediately feel so warm and fuzzy inside. #like he can express the not socially acceptable parts of himself and not be outcast for it #and that’s just so fantastical to me #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #ofmd s2e6 #izzy hands #rambling #i speak!

[moldwood]

in the urinal making all the other boys jealous that their urethras are like a cheaply crafted ancient teapot that splashes piss everywhere whereas mine is like a finely crafted ancient teapot that will cause no splatter regardless of the height of the stream.

#if youre seeing this it means i played a game of memory with myself and failed

[werewolf-transgenderism]

full blackbeard crimes list just dropped babes

#fond of 'improper citation in an academic document' myself #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers

[slfcare]

every time you assume that others are thinking negatively of you or judging you behind your back, you are bullying yourself through them. at the end of the day, you don't know what thoughts are running through their heads unless they verbally express them to you. until then, every one of 'their' opinions about you is nothing more than your fear, and whatever assumption is born from your fear is yours to let go - not theirs to disprove.

#telling myself this because i'm back to thinking Mean Things about myself THROUGH others #and that's unfair to everyone #growth in the self #the healing (starts here) #comfort kindness family #learning to be a social being

[soyochii]

Quick doodles before I evaporate.

#jjk #geto suguru #satosugu #gojo satoru #Don't look to close these are so rough #“Girl dinner” I say to myself looking at the 500th tiktok edit of sato/sugu actually dry heaving wanting to crumble into dust #jjk is the worst thing ive done for my mental health in a while #anyway I still love them and wish they could have been happy together for a little longer #Didn't get a chance to hug your best friend and tell him how much he means to you in highschool #no biggie just do it in the afterlife #Jkjkjkjjkjkjk Everything is fine #my art #jujutsu kaisen

[tittyinfinity]

Doctor prescribing antidepressants: so this medication can cause side effects such as memory loss, seizures, eating disorders, stomach issues, rashes, fatigue, and could actually make you want to kill yourself even more. This is perfect for you

Doctor prescribing pain meds: Are you sure you don't want to try diet and exercise first? These pills are so bad for you. Yeah technically the list of side effects for this pain medication is a lot shorter than it is for your other medications, but the thing is, they might make you TOO happy. And we hate addicts. I just think destroying your stomach lining and liver with 2000mg acetaminophen and 1600mg ibuprofen per day would be a lot safer, because you definitely don't want "happiness" as a side effect of medication. Not being in pain and being happy is just too addictive and addiction is bad.

#.bdo #my pain medication does help with my focus and my mood a lot too #i mean yeah I'm happier when I'm not in pain lol #my pain medication keeps me from wanting to die unlike the SSRIs they gave me that made me damn near kill myself

[raphaerolo]

Get this man medical attention and a hug

#commander cody #i wanted to draw something bloody but i made myself sad #i wouldve drawn obiwan but i already have so many angst wips for him #so i decided to inflict pain on his husband i mean commander #star wars fanart #my art #the bad batch #tbb cody #if something happens to him i will cry #cw blood #tw blood #sw tcw fanart #sw tcw #illustration #fanart #digital art #star wars

[ashoss]

long time no timkon

based on this post and the original video is by jake webber called "target shopping with my ex" :D

#kon: "im straight- *LOUD BUZZER* #timkon #cassie sandsmark #cassandra sandsmark #wonder girl #kon el #conner kent #kon el kent #superboy #tim drake #robin #red robin #young justice #dc fanart #dc comics #illustration #ash's doodlings #i told myself i was posting this today and today only means before u go to bed so #ok goodnight #ok nvm minor edit i mispelt ‘helping’

[amu-says-hav-says]

I can’t believe I went through all of Season 2 assuming Nina was the stand-in for Crowley when you actually pay attention it’s so CLEAR that she’s Aziraphale. I was tricked by her spiky, sarcastic, cynical outer shell and lulled into a false sense of security by Maggie’s bubbly optimism and wholesome goodness, because on the surface they reflect the ineffable husbands perfectly, in their personalities, their aesthetics, even many of their actions and morals. but not, and this is the real key, when it comes to their “relationship”. but those first impressions really had me damn fooled. 

I missed the blatantness of Nina’s “we’re just friends. actually we’re not friends. we barely know each other.” the same thing Aziraphale said in season 1.  the way he still struggles to quantify their friendship when Nina asks. Nina’s sarcasm when Crowley asks about rain and awnings because it worked for him (we all know it LMAO). hell, that whole convo the girls have in the rain is so AziraCrow (“I know. I’m not your type” “...You have no idea” hits so much harder the second time, help meeeee.) “Lindsay” maybe being symbolic of Heaven and Aziraphale’s toxic relationship with them and their abuse? (the handwritten text messages in red pen make me think of angry notes on paperwork, anyone else?) because Crowley has never actually cared about what Hell thinks of him, just not getting into trouble (or him or Aziraphale getting hurt). Maggie is always chasing Nina. NINA NEVER GOES IN THE RECORD STORE. Just like Crowley always goes to the bookstore, to Aziraphale, Zira NEVER WENT TO THE FLAT (apart from The Swap but that doesn’t count imo). Crowley has always chased Zira, not the other way around. Always there to rescue him, always going to him for company, always relying on their shared connection, always US. OUR SIDE. All through season one, he comes to Zira every time to work together, never trying to work alongside Hell in any way that isn’t to save their skins or Earth, while Zira hides things from Crowley because he STILL thinks Heaven is ultimately good and will do the right thing if he can just show them. fix it from the inside. 

Maggie working up the courage to finally say something, to put herself out there, while Nina is utterly oblivious and then when she does realise Maggie has feelings, becoming standoffish, putting up that barrier, fighting it, denying it, ITS SO CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT ORDER. the way I was fooled into thinking Nina’s trust issues are Crowley because he does have trust issues ofc he does BUT Crowley has ALWAYS TRUSTED AZIRAPHALE. has always relied on him. has always been hurt when Aziraphale doesn’t immediately reciprocate the way he expects (the holy water request, the bandstand, the “off in the stars” etc). he’s always the one putting himself forward. Aziraphale has always been the one to second guess everything, to fight their connection, their similarities, their friendship. the girls really made me think it was going to be okay when they sat Crowley down, even as my inner sirens were going haywire about Metatron interfering, they were telling Crowley he just needs to open up and it’ll all work out BUT HE’S ALREADY AT THAT POINT. he may not say it, and by gosh is that part of their damn problem, but he’s always SHOWN IT. he’s not Nina who needs time to heal and recover from her broken trust, he’s always been Maggie believing it doesn’t matter, they’ll end up together in the end anyway AND I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE TRAP THAT THIS MEANT THEY WERE GOING TO BE OKAYYYYYYYYYYY

#good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 #GO2 #GO2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #not me going to my basically unused sideblog that isn't GO related because I NEED TO YELL THIS SOMEWHERE #I mean outside of the relationship thing there are so many ways #that Nina and Crowley line up and Zira and Maggie #but the girls story isn't about them as people #it's about this relationship the boys are tryna push on them and what that relationship reflects about the boys #anyway I'm on my first rewatch for all the clue I missed #so I imagine I'll only spot more clues to berate myself about as I go #HOW DID I FALL FOR ITTTTTT #I can't believe I was so blind #OFC the Disaster Puppy Lesbian was Crowley #and OFC the Emotionally Abused Tortoise was Aziraphale

[captain-watercress]

them switching it Smelly Gabe getting himself killed by being a jerk and opening Percy’s mail is honestly so fitting

#rip ‘if my life is going to mean anything I have to live it myself’ #gone but never forgotten #Percy Jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo tv show #Percy series #sally jackson #smelly gabe #gabe ugliano #percy jackon and the olympians

[bowenoke]

irl i don't normally tell people my pronouns unless they directly ask, but this has led to a very silly occurrence i call DLC pronouns. my gender is a sidequest you can unlock in the dialogue tree if your character has a high enough lgbtqia+ stat . or if my pride keyring falls out of my pocket.

#i generally think it is good to be out and proud as long as you are not in danger and i try not to give in to the urge to make myself more #digestable to people i dislike anyways #but sometimes you find a good job with good coworkers and bad management and getting to move up in the company means comprimise #capitalism sucks for everyone though because there is no corporate culture without average people comprimising themselves

[snarkspawn]

advocatus diaboli

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #karlach #tiefling #barbarian #bg3 fanart #bg3 karlach #bg3 art #userpharawee #stuff and things #ugh idk I'm struggling with my art a bit lately and it's. fcking annoying!! #so this clearly isn't finished (whatever that means) #but I don't hate how it looks yet #so I'm just quickly going to throw it out there before I can start to overthink myself into disliking it lmao #easing my way back into liking what and how I draw. slowly but surely #anyway. karlach!! I still love her

[yudol-skorbi]

manic pixie dream gunslinger

#critical role #cr1 #vox machina #percival de rolo #percy de rolo #fanart #art #faint world without logos plays on the background #well at least that was the inspiration #it all went to hell somewhere in the middle #he is soooo edgy i love it #wanted to draw something like this for ages #i am kinda trying to prove to myself that i can do backgrounds #i mean if i suffer hard enough

[shellshooked]

children of the gods

#ACTUALLY i wanted to try doing a gustav klimt- esque piece so this is the result. #shoutout to klimt because i nearly lost my mind drawing all those patterns #i mean i like the piece myself but NEVER AGAIN #totk #tears of the kingdom #zelink #botw #breath of the wild #tloz #loz #tloz botw #tloz totk #loz totk #loz botw #botw zelink #totk zelink #zelda #link #zelda fanart #link fanart #my art #zelink fanart #tears of the kingdom fanart #the legend of zelda #legend of zelda #totk link #totk zelda #totk spoilers

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Begging swifties to understand that Taylor didn’t write reputation and Lover with the knowledge of how the relationship was going to end and that trying to “excavate” those albums for evidence to prove a specific theory as to why it ended is not how they should be viewed. Taylor wrote those songs feeling a very specific way because that’s what she was experiencing and she is now reflecting on them with hindsight and relates to them differently than when she first created them. These conflicting emotions can exist; how she views it now doesn’t diminish how she felt about it when she first released it.

#taylor swift #don’t know if I’m expressing myself as properly and as articulate as I’d like #but both of the emotions she’s feeling about the songs can coexist #like little lover can still be a love song that’s what it was for her for a while #but she can also look back and say ‘oh maybe this wasn’t the best’ but it doesn’t void what it was originally #like I keep seeing things like oh she wrote this lyric in lover about him not showing up and it’s like no that’s not right #like yes you can see her underlying anxieties and fears in those songs because she was open about them #it doesn’t mean she predicted how it would end #there was a point in time where she thought this man was the one and would write about feeling that way