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#meaning which days etc...
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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cruelsister-moved2 · 7 months
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lets say hypothetically that i wanted men to die and suffer for all time
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lunarharp · 7 days
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shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc
#witch hat tag#orufrey#the first image is qifrey dressed as that guy. i'm glad she has an inexplicable attachment to some dorky pokemon man like i do#someone was like 'wouldn't it make more sense for deanreldea to be the champion' .... well no. not in my world .#it maps onto magic skill. champions aren't like the Rulers of the land they're just the most skilled at this thing#oru as a burnt out champion who's gently encouraging a kid like coco to reach him one day means a lot to me. i like pokemon narratives#agott went shiny hunting for the same thing coco had but cooler - just to impress her. she really is a pokemon rival type girl#pushing myself to the limit to prove my worth to you - to get to the summit first so i'm waiting for you..#and then realising it wasn't just to be strong - i realised i started wanting to see your smile. i wanted you to have fun.#i think coco would defeat agott at the end of victory road and then defeat oru & i'll probably draw one last thing abt that at least..#the image is very cinematic..the dialogue and music in my mind..I WANT TO FACE ORU!!!!!!!!!!#the super cool insanely powerful awesome champion is the spouse of my professor and he gave me advice at the beginning...no way....#btw the elite four would be the sages which is perfect (and maybe easthies as the first guy?) evil Team Brimhats#coustas as their renegade gladion-type figure. the gym leaders would be like sun/moon and s/v combined#travelling around facing the best students from different classes - so jujy and eunie etc.#i've barely thought about 'teams' or anything bc i care amore about the narrative side of things always lol#but idk. tetia with a swirlix - eunie would be ghost type boy - riche with small things but also a ceruledge or a steelix something massiv#and brushbug would have a final form which is really long like an eastern dragon- fluffy and with wings like a fairy. It's beautiful to me#well anyway *tries to move on to the rest of life now the brief obsession has passed*#obviously oru would be fire-type tho and qifrey would be water-type and they set off together and traded their starters etc.....it goes on
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Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb
#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that#you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario#where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality#and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do#also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute#like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the#AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties#on people last minute lol#assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about#birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc.#ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted#AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj#I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people#I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews#or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made#surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra#m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj)#I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat#whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh#New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing#for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way#*** *** ***#< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol)#(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me)#BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you?#:0c
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thedeadthree · 11 days
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THE SUN ON YOUR FACE ON YOUR SHOULDERS ITS GOLDEN MOUTH WHISPERING (SO IT SEEMS) YOU! YOU! YOU! — 𝐂𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝐕𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑. 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑟. (x)
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (ask to be added or removed or interact 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞!): @griffin-wood, @queennymeria, @nightbloodbix, @anoras, @leviiackrman, @aezyrraeshh, @marivenah, @risingsh0t, @avallachs, @full---ofstarlight, @unholymilf, @statichvm, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @alltoowelltv, @lavampira, @adelaidedrubman, @grapecaseschoices, @shellibisshe, @carlosoliveiraa, @carrionsflower, @cloudofbutterflies92, @kyber-infinitygems, @pinkfey, @celticwoman, @florbelles, @shadowglens, @yharnams
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kicktwine · 4 months
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oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock
#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock#if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died#sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak#she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more ‘shameful’ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not#to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now#this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky#Is just fun for her. it’s fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or they’ll never learn to laugh at themselves#the twins and thancred 🫵 do this thing where they have big emotions but they don’t want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions#so alphy pretends he doesn’t have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is#just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. he’s got enough baggage for a flatbed#anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o#weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot#it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting#she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct#just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close#my brother didn’t learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and he’s#HILARIOUS. Don’t tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasn’t learned when to stop yet#too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed#very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if they’re having fun#and try to stop her if they’re not having fun. case in point ‘what is that supposed to mean?!’ vs ‘alisaie ryne was only trying to help.’#I know they’re twins but that’s such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me#LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya#It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actions—#I’m not done let me s#she and raha are friends now I decree. ‘haha you like me’ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH
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sideblogdotjpeg · 7 days
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hey guys does anybody know whats the date today
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crystallakec · 7 months
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literally why did they do this. the blue eyes
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izloveshorses · 9 months
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it’s so beautiful to me that what triggers anya’s memory of her past isn’t some big national secret or something inherently tied to the politics of her family or even her social class, it’s just a simple sensory detail of sitting in a carriage on a hot day and catching sight of a boy running after them
#anastasia broadway#anastasia musical#anastasia#dimya#i mean i get that this is the whole point of iacot alksdfj#but like#it's just a small thing?? and that feels so much more honest??#idk#also like#i know she has Been Through It but the narrative is so gentle to her#like this is just such a kind and gentle way to be reintroduced to who you used to be you know??#even though the song ends on a sad note it's still a very safe and comforting environment#a boy talking about a hot summer day and it turns out you were there too#and then we can get into the fact that the way he tells stories is exactly what she needed to unlock her memory#bc he uses sensory memories and specific details in the same way we remember childhood#like we don't think about the Overall Things going on at the time but we remember the way the food smelled or the texture of the clothes etc#and that's a much more interesting and Real story to me than anything else they could have done#letting this girl who has survived and endured so much have a moment to just. be. and letting her think about ribbons and a boy#which is why when ppl try to make her a figure either sympathizing with or against the revolution it doesn't work for me#bc it's not a show about revolution it's a show about a girl remembering the way her nanna smells when she hugs her#and in this context. that matters more#idk it's a story for the girls!!!!!#for the girls who don't remember everything but they remember their grandma's perfume and the way the carpet felt under her feet!!
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sparklyslug · 8 months
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My sobriety anniversary is tomorrow, which is cool but it does mean tonight is a little hard for me SO I just ordered a whole ass chicken dinner and might have to do a spooky season ultimate comfort watch double feature AKA Practical Magic and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
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dragonsarecats · 5 months
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To be fair CF is just as much about found family than VW
Hi anon! I'm gonna link the post I talked about the Golden Deer here for clarity's sake lol.
I think when discussing themes of found family in different three houses routes, it's important to talk about Byleth. In a game where the single, main variable between possible futures is Byleth's interference, it means the story has to be written in a particular way--I mentioned this before when talking about character supports and endings; each character needs to be able to have a romantic ending with Byleth, which affects how their supports are written. In the case of the Lord's, this means you're given tangible reasons why you should've chosen them.
I mean. Let's be real here. Claude has the highest survivability rate of any character in the base game. He can't die if you're completing Verdant Wind (for obvious reasons), or Blue Lions. He's heavily implied to live to see another day in Silver Snow, and you can spare him in Crimson Flower! Edelgard and Dimitri die without the professor's stabilizing influence--but Claude? What does he lose without the professor.
That's sort of how I determine subtler themes of each route in a way--by comparing what you get with and without Byleth.
So when I argue that Verdant Wind is the most about found family, I mean it thematically; the other routes don't have tangible less found family, but without Byleth members of the Golden Deer just blatantly disappear unrecruited post time skip in several routes!
Without Byleth, the option for found family is removed for Claude in a big way, I personally feel, and not just by full recruitment runs lol. Not completely, of course--even in Crimson Flower a recruited Lorenz laments having to face off against Claude and Hilda is willing to die in defense of him and the city--but enough that it was blatantly shocking to me that if you don't recruit Marianne, she does not appear at all post time skip, no exceptions.
In a narrative sense, perhaps slightly unshocking; but in a practical sense? This leaves Claude without a healer.
Claude can't hold onto all his Deer even if you don't recruit any of them in the Academy phase. Silver Snow, Azure Moon, Crimson Flower--Marianne will always be gone; consistent, non variable. Depending on the route other characters like Lorenz might disappear as well.
The themes of found family are prevalent in all the routes, but since each route is pretty much defined by the Lord who leads it, I feel as though their personal relationship with the found family is most defining, if that makes sense.
People stand by Edelgard, Dimitri, and even Rhea for better, or for worse. Even recruited, characters like Felix make it abundantly clear that switching sides doesn't change the immense emotional attachment they have to their original lord.
This just. Isn't true for Claude.
Without Byleth, he doesn't get to keep everyone together. Without Byleth Hilda is recruitable in two routes. The idea that you could ever do the same with Hubert or Dedue is blatantly laughable.
Byleth's presence is what enables Edelgard, Dimitri, and Rhea to remain the most of themselves, if that makes sense. Edelgard's war strategy in Crimson Flower is a lot less aggressive and scorched earth then it is in the other two routes because she's had the professor as an emotional rock. Similarly for Dimitri, he's able to recover because Byleth is there to keep him alive and safe. And then Rhea will blatantly die in the Verdant Wind route where she doesn't in Silver Snow. Byleth, in every sense of the word, keeps these three characters alive and well.
But without her? They still inspire loyalty and devotion--unquestionable, again, if no recruitment takes place. Dimitri, Edelgard, and Rhea can all face up against you as enemies with the full force of their houses/allies (save for, oddly, Annette).
Claude does not.
Claude's whole route is about learning to trust others in a way that allows them to trust him. The Deer are devoted to Claude in Verdant Wind in a way they just, textually aren't otherwise, and that's due to Byleth's influence, both as a Professor to these individual students, and to Claude.
When I say that Verdant Wind is the most found family thematically to me, I mean it at a very base level. Claude knows he doesn't have what Dimitri and Edelgard seem to take for granted. It seems almost effortless, in Verdant Wind, the loyalty and devotion he inspires in his friends despite how often you, as Byleth, are told that Claude appears to be an untrustworthy and sneaky individual.
But it's easy to see in routes where you don't chose him that without Byleth, that image mantains. Claude is an outsider. And maybe he doesn't need Byleth in the way the other lords do to survive or achieve his dream (after all, there's nothing saying he can't open diplomacy with his former classmates after he goes back to Almyra so long as he lives to do so), but just as Byleth is uniquely able to be a peer to the Golden Deer, so can Claude uniquely trust and gain the trust of his house in full.
It's not as dramatic as the other two houses, and I think it's the point. Edelgard and Dimitri have already built a solid foundation of devotion and loyalty. Ferdinand and Felix (your "rival" characters in those houses) are loyal without Byleth, even if Ferdinand claims it's to guide her or if Felix complains every step of the way. Lorenz isn't. In Verdant Wind, you sort of take it for granted that everyone will be there at the reunion if they survived the Academy phase. Of course they will--they promised, didn't they?
But outside Verdant Wind, it's clear to see that you as the player took it for granted. And that's why I think Verdant Wind is thematically the most found family. It's not because the other routes don't love each other as much or aren't as complex or there isn't devotion. It's because fundamentally Verdant Wind is about Claude, for the first time in his life, having a group of people he can rely on and who will rely on him without hesitation. It's about the formation of found family, and how Claude doesn't need it to achieve his dreams, but man, does it give him something to achieve those dreams for.
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lytorika · 2 months
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identify yourself
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lucalicatteart · 4 months
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A few little sketches of some possible school uniforms for mage schools/learning centers for magic/etc. :0c Though because Nanyevimi is so scattered and disconnected, it'd actually vary much more by region (like not everywhere would have a cultural concept of what a suit jacket or neck tie looks like lol), so it's probably unrealistic for so many of them to follow too many traditional Uniform Conventions from cultures in our world, etc. But, still, fun to mess around with designs, and think about which would be most fun to wear/what school you'd go to just based off the clothing lol~
#I haven't felt well enough to do anything actually productive lately GRRRR.. evil health issues....#but I can sometimes at least draw while I lay on the floor with a heating pad and etc. lol.. so...#goofy little sketches. Still dislike that the ipad thing someone gave me is either like.. maybe the settings are just off OR possibly the#screen is slightly broken in some regard - so the pressure sensitivity does not work at all. thus all lines are blunt looking#instead of having tapered edges. which I KNOW can be a stylistic thing. like I think it's fine mostly#but sometimes shading looks weird for all of the lines to be the exact same size/width with like no variation lol#though since it's just little sketches it doesnt matter lol but still... hrmm... ever working out my strategy for how to use the ipad for a#art things/if I can ever get used to it/etc.#AAANYWAY... still so uniform obsessed.. and have been since I was a child. Like way before going to middle school and meeting#the people who like anime and get into school uniforms of that variety. I mean like... age 7 before even having any friends#and having zero popular media interests or outside influences that would make uniforms Trendy. but I would see like a 'private school#uniform' on a new story on tv or something or in a book and was just like OUGH... I Should Dress That Way#I used to go to thrift stores and find multiple seperate pieces that could be combined together to look like a school uniform#I had like 4 or 5 different 'uniforms' that I made myself in that way. My first outfit that I was ever allowed#to pick out for myself as my big First Day Of Middle School outfit was literally like school uniform inspired#(maybe mixed with a little goth.. like it was a school uniform sort of look but black and white with fishnet armwarmers lol.. plaid +#stripes pattern mixing my beloved... )#I think it's just the same way that I love apartment buildings because I'm infinitely fascinated with like.. observing human nature and peo#le displaying their psersonalities in little ways and how you can give 10 people the same exact identical space but each one will decorate#it completely differently just depending on their own tastes and reasonnig and etc. I love the idea of everyone in some setting#having to be in one specific set outfit BUT you can tell something about them by the little ways they customize it or what type#of accessories they wear or if they choose to button their shirt fully or not or etc. etc. I like the constraints of 'okay everyone has to#be in exactly the same uniform - NOW. give them their own unique style somehow despite this' etc. etc. like#yaaaayyyy.. I love thinking of little obscure details that convey personality. they have a little pin hidden on the inside of their#hat. their shoes are just like everyone else's but more worn out. they have a necklace barely visible beneath their collar. their tie is#always a little more askew that everyone elses. or even. the uniform is EXACTLY on model entirely clean crisp pristine not a single element#customized or out of place - which STILL tells you something about them. etc. etc.#ANYWAY.. yeahg.. struggling to get anything done these last few weeks so.. blam. poof. alakazaam. scratchy little sketches#of nothing very productive or relating to any other project in particular be upon ye
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stan-joe · 7 months
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hey link click fans just to make your day worse I'm pretty sure the entire last few episodes happened on lu guang's birthday
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I have a big google doc thing where I keep track of media and stuff (putting everything in loosely ranked categories), which is mostly just for my own reference so I know what tv shows I've already seen before, etc. and I never really look back through it, typically just a quick "okay, watched two movie in the past 8 months, need to quickly slap them somewhere in the lists. okay. done. save document. exit". But today I was actually reading through some of the old notes and there are like... MULTIPLE places where my comment is basically "It would have been good if it were about elves" or "I wish there was a fantasy show made in this same style" or "It's well made, but I just keep thinking about how I would like it more if everyone was an elf or was in old 1700s costumes" or etc like...... lol.... Most biased media ranking system on earth blatantly made by someone with an extremely hyperspecific range of narrow interests. It'd be like if a food reviewer only had 5 foods they actually liked, so they'd just go to a pizza place and be like "eh, the pizza was okay, but I just think it would be better if it was cereal instead. :/ ...2 out of 10"
#Which.. I mean... I am allowed to be biased because literally it's just for my own personal reference (or occasionall#y to send to friends or something if we're discussing the topic) so like.. nowhere am I saying 'I am the god of perfect taste and these#rankings are objectively the absolute truth and everyone should have my same opinion' or anything#BUT still.. it's funny to me sometimes#'Succession would be 100x better if it had the same cast/character quirks and shaky camera style and#acting choices/weird dialogue and general concept etc. EXCEPT it takes place within an elven noble family or something#managing the family business and everyone is in fantasy costumes now'' like.....okay...... but it's NOT that way..soo... thats not the show#''I like the acting style/general tone of Fleabag but i don't care for any of the characters or any of the subject matter and I wish it was#set in the 1800s and had vampires and was about magic instead'' okay..... again... you are making up an entirely new show in that case lol#OR my other beloved typical complaint ''The concept is good but theres too much plot and action and not enough people just sitting#around doing nothing and exposition dumping world and character lore'' ''this needs more goofy sideplots and filler episodes''#''this Drama was too dramatic I think it should be more lighthearted & people need to sit around doing nothing just being weird more often'#''the Action Movie was ok except for the action scenes - which I skipped through all of- but I liked the costumes and worldbuilding'' etc.#ERM sorry your plot has too much plot. also elves have to be included somehow. bye#BUT SERIOUSLY!!!!!! I literally genuinely believe that any show I like (or even dislike) could ALWAYS be improved greatly by#putting people in fantasy or historical costume/setting/etc... why the FUNK would I want to see bland jeans and cars and cell phones#when I could see elaborate velvet cloaks and fantastical landscapes and interior design and innovative takes on historical or#magical technology or etc. etc. etc. I LIVE in the modern day. I see it all the time!!! BORING! stinky!! boo!!!#ANYWAY... another social divide for me.. People love to bond by discussing media. which is hard when I'm like#'I literally will not watch something at all unless it fits into one of these 10 extremely specific categories which are all i care about i#the entire world''.. I say this and yet I still dislike most fantasy or historical things I've watched lol. ok TWO main criteria then!!#it must 1. be in a different world or time period. 2. be goofy silly. Nothing ever has BOTH. It's always overly serious boring drama action#fantasy/history stuff OR it's comedic lighthearted but with modern day characters... WHY.. anguish and woe and so on..#ANYWAY jhjnk... at least I can make that divide. Some people seem to project their own personal preferences and get really emotionally#defensive if you say you didn't like something - as if the fact that they DO like it is some Objective Truth or something rather than just#opinion/preference based. I can still easily say ''this is well made/well written/acted/good in a technical sense/has a lot of#points of appeal that most people would be drawn to/etc'' and admit that it's a GOOD show probably. I just PERSONALLY think its#bad because my tastes are very narrow. Some things ARE actually made badly but. things are not bad INHERENTLY just bc they dont suit ME lol#Better to recognize/accept whats odd about you and be peacefully aware of it than just being mad at everyone all the time for not fully#agreeing with you even when you're the one with the Weird opinion in that case lol.. I am right though :3 but.. lol... still. i get it
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britomart · 2 years
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david bowie, "starman" ★ top of the pops, 1972
[ID: two gifs of david bowie performing “starman” on top of the pops. in the first gif, he points at the viewer as he sings “i had to phone someone, so i picked on you-ou-ou”, and in the second he sings “hey, that’s far out, so you heard him too-oo-oo!”. the camera gradually zooms out to show mick ronson playing guitar beside him. /end ID.]
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