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dramavixen · 2 months

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Love and Redemption: A Fantasy Epic About How Prejudice Destroys Worlds, and How Love Pieces Them Back Together

**major spoilers for: Love and Redemption

After wrapping up a watch-through of Mysterious Lotus Casebook, my mom had the brilliant idea that we should rewatch the work that launched Cheng Yi to fame (or at the very least solidified him as the man to hire if you need someone to spit blood): Love and Redemption.

I’m certain she only found this idea appealing because she doesn’t remember a TV show after it’s over. Credits rolling? Aight, time for the woman to clear up space on her brain’s memory drive. Meanwhile, my life flashed before my eyes as I recalled the anguish that’s synonymous with the show’s plot. But you know how things go when your mom wants something. If she says you're sitting through 44 hours of emotional torture with her, then you plant yourself on that couch until it’s over.

Ironically, Love and Redemption fares even better on rewatch. Though other xianxias have come close to its place in my heart, I’m now concerned that my palette won’t be so easily satiated again. It’s got your conventional reincarnation, warring realms, and a star-crossed romance while throwing curveball after curveball to shatter your expectations. Complex characters, too? An endgame villain who will haunt you in your sleep? You can’t ask for more.

Just because you didn’t ask, doesn’t mean that the show won’t deliver something extra. I like to think that nothing reflects a society’s unsightly reality like a well-done fantasy, and this one hits closer to home the more time that passes. A thinly veiled commentary on human flaws and how difficult it is to be a good person, Love and Redemption is a drama for the ages.

This is going to get lengthy, so to prepare you, here’s how I’m divvying up this piece:

Part I: All of Them Are Classist

Part II: All of Them Are Sexist

Part III: All of Them Are Racist

Part IV: Love Wins All

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Part I: All of Them Are Classist

It’s not my intention to disgust anyone right out of the gate, but we need to talk about Wu Tong. Do you hear what I hear? Yes, it’s the distant echo of Wu Tong’s nefarious laughter, resounding between the walls of my skull.

Quite simply, Wu Tong is the worst. (Or at least he would be, if it weren’t for that other fellow named Bai Lin. That dude will get a glaring spotlight later in this essay, trust me.) But it’s not for no reason.

Coming from a background of poverty, Wu Tong spends most of his young life trying to prove himself to upper class cultivators who don’t have any interest in who he is, only in what he has to offer them. He earns his place in his sect through relentless hard work. He utilizes unsportsmanlike methods in his attempts to win the battle tournament in opening episodes. It's not just a competition to him—he's directly told that if he gets anything other than first place, he can forget about keeping his place in his sect.

When he and the protagonists first meet, his prideful personality results from his inferiority complex. There’s no doubt that he’s a powerful cultivator, but the issue is how he finds that to be his only real value. He doesn't bother to be likable, because what's the point in doing that? Being likable doesn't fill an empty stomach. But the more he disrespects others in an effort to make himself appear important, the more others look down on him, and the more he overcompensates by fighting back even more. It’s a vicious cycle—one that never ends because no one involved wants to take the first step back.

Knowing what type of person he becomes, it’s hard to pity him in any capacity. However, it would still be unfair to ignore how others mistreat him before he even turns into a true enemy.

One scene that sticks out to me happens early on, where Wu Tong nearly injures Xuanji during a 1v1 battle against Minyan. The protagonist crew insists on getting payback. Okay, I’m with it. You can’t let such reckless violence slide. I guess they’ll get their revenge in a later stage of the tournament by beating him into the ground?

Nah. That would be too reasonable. What they actually opt for is tricking him to fall into a trap by putting up a “have you seen my lost snake?” poster with a financial reward, knowing that he’ll be fooled because…he’s poor.

Sifeng: I asked around. Wu Tong was born to a family of lower status. He lives frugally. The reason he trains so hard is because he hopes to become someone powerful one day. […] Now he needs the money urgently to buy medicine and recuperate his inner strength before his next battle. Minyan: When you put it that way, doesn’t that mean he has no choice but to come for the ten night pearls?

Sifeng…oh no. Not you too.

The way Wu Tong behaves doesn’t warrant anyone being amicable toward him. I, too, have a nonexistent tolerance for obnoxious, violent egoists. But if later episodes are any evidence, this scene foreshadows that two wrongs won’t make a right. If they want to teach him a lesson, they shouldn’t stoop so low as to take advantage of his poverty. His family background is the one thing about him that isn’t his fault, yet it’s the one thing they choose to use against him. That’s what I call “going too far.”

Now that he's been hit where it hurts, Wu Tong feels justified in going too far himself. In a fit of desperation and contempt prompted by his master abandoning him, he stabs Xuanji. Not great. Things get extremely not great when you remember that Xuanji is the daughter of a sect leader. That quickly transforms Wu Tong’s attempted murder/almost manslaughter into the evilest act known to mankind. All five sects turn against him to hunt him down and kill him. I’m no law or philosophy expert, but I’m pretty sure the punishment for almost manslaughter is not the death penalty.

The five sects can treat him as their prey because he doesn’t have a support system to counter them. If he were the son of another sect leader, the thought of killing him would never even have entered their minds. Targeting him so relentlessly has less to do with justice and more to do with exerting power over a lower-class young man who hurt someone infinitely more “important” than him.

That imbalance between crime and punishment is what pushes Wu Tong over the edge. He goes on the run for several years before officially succumbing to the call of evil, after which he becomes truly irredeemable. Still, you’re occasionally reminded of his struggle—is he destined to be a villain? Or is throwing aside his remaining morality just his best chance at survival?

Do you have any idea how I survived these past several years, when you were all trying to kill me? What did I do back then that was so unforgivable? Did your sister die? Was it warranted for all five sects to team up against me, an average disciple? Was it warranted to back me into a corner over and over again, to force me to claw out of hell? Open your eyes and look at me! These past four years, I’ve already died countless times. Every time, I clawed my way back out of hell. Five hundred taels? You want to take my life with a measly five hundred taels? Don’t look down on me. Touch here. I have a fake leg. That’s what your five sects have left me with. What’s that look of yours? Guilt? Pity? I’m not telling you this for you to pity me. I, Wu Tong, survived this far because I must have my revenge.

Something my mom likes to say is if you find yourself going against someone—but especially a dangerous person—you must leave a path for their survival. It’s less for their sake than it is for yours. Should you eliminate all their options, they’ll have no choice but to bite. And they’ll make sure it hurts like hell.

As an impetuous teenager, Wu Tong is in the wrong. He needs to be taught that his actions are unacceptable. But that can’t be accomplished by putting a bounty on his head and demanding that he be murdered. That’s how you turn a scoundrel into a monster.

Minyan, Wu Tong’s foil, similarly doesn’t come from an optimal background. An orphan, he was taken in by the Shaoyang Sect without the obvious pressure that Wu Tong suffers. Even so, he can’t escape the innate inequality that seems to exist between him and his fellow disciples. It especially affects him because he’s in love with Linglong, Xuanji’s sister but more importantly…also the daughter of the sect leader! Poor guy.

When I was little, kids in the village would surround me every day and call me a bastard child with no parents. I could only pretend that I didn’t hear them. Because if I took it to heart, they would only ridicule me more. We can’t shut the mouths of people who want to slander us. But we can choose not to listen.

He may think that he’s past it, but later episodes see Minyan being manipulated using that exact insecurity. It’s easy to impersonate his master and nudge him to become a “spy” in the enemy base because he’s compelled to prove himself worthy of the sect and worthy of Linglong. Fake Sect Leader Chu Lei tells him:

When I first met you, you were only eight years old. You were homeless on the streets, starving and shivering. Still, you clung to your family dagger and refused to pawn it. In that moment, I knew that you were a child with an iron will. That’s why I’m here to find you today.

I can agree that Minyan is really stupid to immediately believe that his master, a guy well-known for pretending to do important things more than he actually does them, would tell him to do something as reckless as invade enemy territory. However, he also heeds the impostor’s instructions because realistically, his master asking him to prove himself is something that could happen. Any good disciple would naturally want to repay their masters for their favor, let alone a disciple who would otherwise have nowhere else to go.

The contrast between Minyan and Wu Tong shoves itself in your face as you watch, primarily through their respective relationships with Linglong (well, one of them has a relationship. The other is a creep. Can you guess who’s who?). Without family backing, the two men both struggle to find their place in the world, but they’re complete opposites purely because of their upbringing. Thankfully for Minyan, he found a family amongst people who don’t treat him as “another,” even if he may think of himself as such.

Wu Tong isn’t so fortunate. You can say it’s his own doing, a result of his terrible personality, but he certainly wasn’t born like that. And now someone will pay for it.

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Part II: All of Them Are Sexist

As a caveat, I’ll mention that the main cast really could have used a woman who isn’t some combination of foolish, lovestruck, and/or loud. But I’m willing to overlook it just this once because the writers excel in highlighting both the ladies' flaws and how we as an audience exaggerate those flaws through our own preconceptions.

Working backwards in terms of plot importance, we can start with Xiao Yinhua. Sifeng’s snake familiar in a human form, Xiao Yinhua is like most female leads from the turn of the millennium in that her only real strength is throwing temper tantrums. She’s also like most second female leads from the turn of the millennium in that she constantly prefers using underhanded tactics and harming others to achieve her goals—in other words, a snake. Oh. I guess that makes sense.

Her affections toward Sifeng cloud her already nonexistent judgment and prompt her to make some of the worst decisions made by anyone, ever. At first, I thought I was being unfair toward her because of my own internalized misogyny. But no. I can say with absolute confidence that I would abhor this character no matter what gender or creature or object she may be. She has no redeeming qualities aside from teaching us that someone foolish, lovestruck, and loud is doomed to self-sabotage. From that perspective, she’s still a valuable character to have because now we know that before we act, we should think: would Xiao Yinhua do that thing? If she would, do not do that thing.

If Xiao Yinhua were willing to grow up, she could become more similar to Zi Hu. Zi Hu almost acts as a parallel to Sifeng—hopelessly in love with someone who doesn’t return the affection for a literal thousand years. Also, both are very pretty. Ahem.

Zi Hu’s thousand years’ worth of experience gives her the skills to back up her unrelenting feelings for Wu Zhiqi. She’s a rarity in that her driving force is a man—a motivation that's typically a reputation ruiner for female characters—but you find her lovable instead of thinking that she lacks self-respect. The key is that her love isn’t blind and rash like Xiao Yinhua’s. Zi Hu has a plan to save Wu Zhiqi from his prison and she carries it out with intention. In other words, it’s okay to focus on love, but only if you can take responsibility for your feelings.

Ting Nu: Why go so far? When did Wu Zhiqi ever tell you that he loved you? Your affections are merely one-sided. Zi Hu: When did he tell me he didn’t love me? Look, once I rescue him, he’ll have to be with me to thank me.

Because Zi Hu is a literal fox, people suspect her both for being a demon and for being the demon notorious for seducing men to consume their souls. The latter is quickly debunked and becomes less of an issue than her just being a plain demon. I nonetheless find it hilarious how everyone balks when she shows them her harem of men gleefully living in her backyard. Yep, she’s a cunning vixen. You can just keep wishing you could join that harem.

Zi Hu: You're trying to shoo me away. You think I’ll storm out because of your petty tricks? You’re underestimating me. I’ve already decided, starting today, I’m going to follow you everywhere. Even if you don’t want me to, I’m going to cling to you. This old spirit isn’t going to let those thousand years of waiting be in vain. Wherever you go, I’m going with. If you dare sneak peeks at other pretty women, I’ll dig out your monkey eyes. All in all, if I’m around, no pretty woman can enter your vision. As if you could bear to leave me behind if I hang around for another thousand years!

Xiao Yinhua and Zi Hu aren’t overly victimized based on their gender within the show itself. For the better too, because whoever dares to do so would probably end up dead by a fox's claws and a snake's teeth. These two characters' existences test your innate view of female characters instead. What is it that matters to you in a female character? What standards do you hold against them?

(**Content warning for the below segment until the next purple break: brief mentions of sexual assault and suicide.)

And that's where we come to Linglong. Linglong is a loudmouthed spoiled brat. She's overbearing, and while she wants to protect Xuanji, her method of doing it is by crying crocodile tears and throwing temper tantrums in front of their father. No wonder she and Xiao Yinhua clash—two childish people who both have a compulsion to win arguments? Forget it.

A bulk of the drama sees Linglong’s primordial spirit being taken and held captive by Wu Tong. Wu Tong puts half of her primordial spirit into the body of a flower demon, whom he also forces to take on Linglong’s physical appearance. No other reason, he just wants to have his way with someone who looks and acts like Linglong, the person who jeered at him all those years ago. By the time the real Linglong recovers her primordial spirit, Wu Tong has done enough damage that she’s haunted by nightmares and memories of someone who assaulted her when she couldn't even fight back.

The lead-up to this arc is incredibly disturbing and takes root in the very first episode. On my first watch-through, I thought their relationship would take a classic enemies-to-lovers path. The directors and writers pull you in this direction with no subtlety, showing a smitten Wu Tong when he first lays eyes on Linglong. They then keep the scam going by having him act out in awful ways as he attempts to gain her attention. That’s right, it’s the brainwashing girls receive when they’re on the playground: “he pulls your hair because he likes you."

During their first meeting, Linglong is surrounded by a halo filter from Wu Tong’s perspective. Knowing what he’ll later do to her makes the seeming innocuousness of this scene revolting, but it's necessary. It's the first of many steps to prove that someone’s “affections” can’t be used as an excuse for harming whomever’s on the receiving end of them.

Linglong can be an extremely annoying person. Her outspokenness and difficult temper shape her into an unlikable character, which then ensures that by the time Wu Tong captures her, the audience almost instinctively wants to say that it’s her fault. We all know the talk track: “he liked her, so why couldn’t she just have been nicer to him? She asked for it by being mean to him.”

When Linglong first offends Wu Tong, it isn’t for no reason: she’s angry because he endangers her sister’s life over and over again. Admittedly, she goes overboard in her retaliation against him. So what? Linglong being mean to Wu Tong and Wu Tong later targeting her are indeed connected events, but the former doesn't justify the latter. If we say that the five sects hunting Wu Tong down isn’t a fair punishment, then isn’t it also unfair for him to turn the tables on her in such a way?

Essentially, Linglong isn’t the “ideal” victim. That’s what makes her arc all the more heartbreaking. To this day, society wants to find any excuses for the assailant. Any mistake, any flaw of the victim's will be used against her. As humans, maybe it’s instinct for us to hope that bad things only happen to bad people, and victim-blaming is our twisted way of making that an impossible reality.

Overcome with depression and trauma, Linglong is unable to come to terms with what Wu Tong did to her. Men gossip about her and her “relationship” with the enemy, sometimes harassing her straight to her face. Wu Tong himself finds great delight in taunting her about her “sharing his bed,” not only relishing the memories but also enjoying how much it torments her.

Linglong: It was my fault that I was captured by Wu Tong, wasn’t it? [...] Everyone thinks so. I didn’t want to be captured by Wu Tong. But after Wu Tong said all those things, everyone thinks so. Minyan: Linglong, why care about what everyone else thinks? Just pretend that you didn’t hear any of it. Linglong: But I did hear them. Why do I need to pretend I didn’t? It’s something that actually happened, so why do I need to play dumb and trick myself into thinking it didn’t? Are you going to be like them too, and mock me?

All the accusations brainwash her into thinking everything is her fault. To Wu Tong and all the people judging her, she’s nothing but a pawn to be used for their own entertainment. And once she and Minyan leave the protection of the sect, everyone finds her an easy target to push around. Hoping that her death will mean freedom for both herself and her loved ones, she attempts to drown herself before being yanked back to life and reality by Minyan.

Linglong’s struggle is many women’s worst nightmare. It’s also a diligent representation of PTSD, something that I normally wouldn’t expect from a xianxia drama. Even after she's rescued and everyone tells her that her suffering is over, it never feels over for her. At night, Lingling is awoken by harrowing dreams of Wu Tong returning to kidnap her once again:

Nightmare!Wu Tong: You’ll always belong to me. You can’t escape.

The conclusion to her arc being Wu Tong’s death and his literal letting go of her may be quite idealistic. But I prefer to think that giving Linglong her happy ending is the writers’ way of trying to assuage our fears, of showing us that there will always be another sunrise regardless of what happens.

(**Content warning end.)

Linglong becomes the drama’s strongest woman-centric plot, and I really love that the writers did it with a character whose personality isn't the most appealing. She's the imperfect woman we can find in every corner of the world, a representation of women overall instead of the minority who are considered "deserving" of justice.

Next to her, Xuanji also gets a short end of the stick. She's constantly being pushed to marry Hao Chen. Every excuse in the book is used against her: they're a fated couple, he's the only one that can take care of her, doesn't she agree that this is a part of her duty? No matter how logically she objects to it, no one really cares what she thinks. If she objects, she’s being headstrong, and that’s the end of it. (More on Xuanji to come in Part IV of this essay.)

And aside from Bai Lin’s more obvious transgressions (we're getting to those), what really irked me is just how twisted he makes the God of War’s rebellion appear in others’ eyes. The logic turns quickly from “Bai Lin must have done something wrong” into “the God of War must have been in love with Bai Lin and grew resentful that he rejected her.” I guess it’s very believable that the God of War would want to destroy the entire universe because some guy wouldn’t date her? That’s right, you can be the most accomplished woman in your field and someone will still want to attribute everything you do to being motivated by romance.

Naturally, the next question is—why is Bai Lin such a weirdo? Why does he insist on turning his friend Luohou Jidu, a man, into a woman when creating the God of War? Hmm. I smell a waft of homophobia...

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Part III: All of Them Are Racist

And except for a small minority, I really mean "all of them" this time. Humans and celestial beings are racist toward demons. Demons are racist back toward humans and celestial beings. If you asked both sides who started it, they'd point at the other without hesitation. "They started it. By existing."

I don’t even know where to start with this topic. Part of me believes this entire section of analysis could be extraneous—do I really need to do a deep dive when you could just click a random timestamp of a random episode and have a 50% chance of finding a character saying something incredibly racist? No case studies necessary. The drama is the case study.

Obviously, while I may say that all the different races are racist toward one another, some are notably more egregious in their discrimination than others. The five sects, being in power, are the worst offenders. Every other second, someone is reminding another that they need to wipe out demons. Just the utterance of the word “demon” makes them froth at the mouth. In their possession, they have treasure troves of weapons and magical devices whose collective main purpose is to identify and kill demons. Perhaps you know someone in real life who thinks that hating something is a personality trait—that’s the five sects in a nutshell.

Zi Hu and Ting Nu are continuously snubbed for not being human even after they’ve long proven that they’re more help than harm. Ting Nu is a doctor, but even saving Hao Chen doesn’t make them think of him as anything but a demon who is evil in his very bones. Demons can do everything right, but the high and mighty humans are too pure and innocent to associate with them…aside from killing and torturing them, of course.

Highlighted Exhibit A: Sifeng almost being tortured and whipped to death based on the mere suspicion that he’s a demon. The fact that he is one doesn’t matter. His assailants operate on the doctrine that they’d rather kill an innocent person than let a demon roam free. Every action to rid the world of a demon is a virtuous one. It's a reenactment of the Monty Python witch trial but they're being completely serious.

Highlighted Exhibit B: the other sects band together to wipe out Lize Palace without solid confirmation as to whether they’re all demons. They’re operating on the same principle as in Exhibit A, so at least you can praise them for being consistent.

Highlighted Exhibit C: before Sifeng is revealed to be a pretty bird, Xuanji’s repeated defense of him consists of "Sifeng isn’t a demon." The main purpose of these lines is to instill further fear into Sifeng and give him more reason to keep lying to her, all while Xuanji's trust in him deepens. But is it also some of her lingering innate judgment seeping through? A subconscious understanding that her family and sect will never accept a demon as her boyfriend? Well, joke’s on them because he’s one hot bird.

So how are you supposed to survive as a demon? Lize Palace results from the humans’ desire to eradicate an entire race of demons. Just as Wu Tong is driven only by revenge, the demons of Lize Palace just need to survive for long enough to one day remove their masks and live as themselves. Humans’ endless thirst for blood does nothing but fuel demons’ fire of rebellion and keep the wheel of tragedy turning.

As for the “bad guys” of Tianxu Hall? At least when they commit the same acts of evil as the other five sects, they’re willing to admit that being evil isn’t beyond them.

Yuan Lang is an extremely successful villain for this very reason. All of us love Yuan Lang, so much that we start grinning whenever he comes on-screen with his fan and sarcastic mouth. So much that when it's revealed he's been consuming people's souls, all my mom had to say about it was: “Oh. That's mean of him.”

He plots and he lies and he murders, but he doesn’t put up a facade of holding himself to a lofty moral standard. It’s also quite telling that while Yuan Lang machinates behind the scenes, 90% of his time is spent standing by and calling others out on their bullshit. Everyone around him creates their own downfall. He just happens to benefit from their stupidity.

Man with a fan and a plan. I like.

Even so, Yuan Lang isn’t invulnerable to emotion. One of my absolute favorite scenes is where Di Lang sacrifices himself so Yuan Lang can make a getaway. It’s the only instance of Yuan Lang being subject to the pain of caring about someone else. Those short moments contrast so starkly against the sects’ inhumanity that suddenly, a revolution doesn’t seem all that bad.

Behind the bulky mask, his despair is apparent. Man. This actor’s come a long way since his F4—I mean, H4 days. If you've never watched Let's Go Watch Meteor Shower Together, don't.

Finally, we arrive on the topic of Bai Lin. Oh, boy. I still haven’t watched Blood of Youth because seeing the actor’s face triggers my fight-or-flight response. And it’s been years.

Bai Lin, the one racist to rule them all. The guy must have a handbook on “How to Be Racist” or something—how else could the contempt that spews from his mouth, the spark of repugnance in his eyes, and the brazen obstinacy in his opinions be so immaculate?

The entire drama consists of setting the stage for the full reveal of Bai Lin turning Luohou Jidu into a weapon of war to be used against his own people. By the time all the pieces fall into place, you’ve already witnessed the tragedy created by discriminatory practices between mortals. You've seen how Sifeng is targeted and Xuanji forced to move her hand against him. You've seen how the sects use their power to harm instead of help. You've seen how demons plot their revenge for centuries. Once Bai Lin is confirmed to be the genesis of all that, there’s nothing left for you to feel but utter revulsion.

Bai Lin: Celestial beings and demons cannot coexist. How could my Heavenly Realm possibly hold a marriage with the Devil Tribe? Luohou Jidu: Celestial beings and demons cannot coexist...Then why do you drink with me today? Why are you friends with me? Bai Lin: Naturally, Brother Jidu, you’re different from other demons and devils. Out of all the demons and devils in this world, Brother Jidu is my only friend.

Can’t believe he even pulls the "you’re one of the good ones" card.

Bai Lin, practitioner of unethical tactics: his ultimate decision to trick and use Luohou Jidu results from racism-induced paranoia. He simply can’t believe that his friend will remain his friend, not unless he becomes "one of us." He thinks the God of War should appreciate that he's given her power and invested his time and energy in her tenth reincarnation, going so far as fool her into thinking that they loved each other once upon a time. Once Xuanji shows herself capable of independent thought, he doesn’t hesitate in turning against her and manipulating her to destroy her own self. He eventually sacrifices the entire world for the Heavenly Realm's survival. After all, what's the value of an entire planet's human and demon population in the face of his power?

He's the representation of what happens when those in power, those who have the best chance of righting wrongs and preventing more from happening, decide to perpetuate the problem. At the same time, he presents the predicament that those we rely on to give us justice are also victims of their own emotions and fears.

I venture to say that Bai Lin is the best-written antagonist in modern xianxia. He’s ruthless but has a moral compass, albeit one that only points in one direction—toward himself. His hubris aside, you have to admit that he genuinely believes he's acting for the greater good. The ends justify the means because he thinks he’s bettering the world.

Bai Lin makes awful decisions that involve genocide and cruelty because he operates on a strict utilitarian philosophy. "I do what I think will bring the best results, even if it means sacrificing something huge in the process." He’s the most dangerous character and the person we should also fear in real life because he’ll stop at nothing to create his definition of a paradise.

It would be easy to dismiss him as simply being a bad person. However, this show draws from reality in that every person exists in a gray area between good and bad. You can lean one way or the other, but you don’t fall completely into either. And that’s the foundation of the show's conflicts. Everyone's so busy trying to define what’s right and wrong that they’ve lost sight of basic compassion.

When he’s finally faced with the consequences of his actions, Bai Lin is driven to despair. He feels true remorse over what he’s done, but only because he’s fortunate enough to actually witness how the thousand-year conflict wouldn't have existed without him. We as people aren’t so lucky—those “what if”s will forever remain in the shrouded realm of impossibility.

Heavenly Emperor: You always thought that evil had sparked in the hearts of the God of War and Luohou Jidu. But the one in whom evil truly sparked was you. All things and happenings in this world are originally empty. From emptiness comes meaning. Yin and yang reverse; they support and restrain one another. The Heavenly Realm was originally empty. The Asura, too, was empty. If all is empty, then how could the Heavenly Realm be superior; and the Mortal Realm, Demon Realm, and Devil Realm be inferior? Your excessive concern for the safety of the Heavenly Realm prompted evil to take root in your heart, unable to be undone.

Seeing him in such despair almost makes me feel bad for him. Maybe I do have too much sympathy.

At this point, it's already too late to repair the damage he's caused, a realization that causes him further anguish. He rids himself of his divinity to show his remorse and accepts death. But he's already caused so much pain to everyone else. Who can put back together the world that he's destroyed?

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Part IV: Love Wins All

(We love IU for her perfect song that also gave me the best possible final section title.)

As I seek to be conscious of my own biases, I once wondered: why is it that shaking my head at a female character for being dedicated to a man comes so naturally to me, but I can’t be more gleeful to see Sifeng put his heart out on a platter for Xuanji? Perhaps I’m also sexist. Perhaps I have double standards.

Then I thought about it some more and realized everyone loves Sifeng because he’s so blatantly unrealistic that you’re immediately able to sink yourself into his fictional beauty. He transcends gender norms because there is no person of any gender who would go to the extent that he does for Xuanji, nor is there anyone who could remain as levelheaded when faced with some of the most shameless people known to mankind. Forget all the people flying on swords and uttering magic spells. The biggest absurdity in Love and Redemption is its male lead. Yes, I'm a skeptic. But we're so lucky to have him.

Sifeng grew up in a bizarrely backwards environment where—instead of girls needing to cover up to not attract men’s attention—all men need to protect themselves by wearing masks and not associating with the opposite sex. Brainwashed for years to believe that Lize Palace is the only safe space for golden fire birds like himself, he keeps cautious around people while still harboring a subconscious longing for their warmth.

In my entire life, I never knew what a "friend" is. I finally understand now, the meaning of "fervent friendship."

Sifeng is established as the loyal lover extremely quickly. He's whipped—figuratively and literally—for Xuanji, his sheltered childhood leaving him defenseless against her unintentionally flirtatious mannerisms. He teaches her about her lost senses without judgment, nurtures limitless patience with her and others by proxy, and isn't afraid to question the status quo.

We love Sifeng for his wisdom and levelheadedness. He sees things for what they are and is commonly the voice of empathy and reason within a world of selfishness. The entire show is Sifeng going, "I might as well do it myself" in every situation because no one else cares, is capable enough, or both. He's the guy in group projects who quietly does everything and doesn't even get mad that you're the most useless team member ever. What a saint.

In the xianxia universe, he's distinct husband material (which isn’t saying much since the bar there is so low that you'd need to dig yourself a grave to reach it—which is also great because then you already have a place to go once your xianxia spouse gets you killed. I digress). His loyalty to not only others, but also who he is and what he wants, leaves him able to counter the complacency with hatred and evil permeating the world around him.

With his endless empathy, he's able to understand Luohou Jidu. While Sifeng's earliest motivation in facing the greatest devil is only to save Xuanji, he later views Luohou Jidu as an individual with his own sufferings. He's the only one to truly view Luohou Jidu as himself, not someone to eliminate, not just an extension of Xuanji. To Sifeng, everyone deserves a chance to be heard before a verdict is passed over them.

Not to mention, these two’s interactions are absolutely hilarious. I wish I could've seen the extensive conversations that must’ve went on in the censorship agency over them.

Fellas, is it gay to clasp a guy’s hands within your own and stare deeply into his eyes while reminiscing about your loving relationship if he’s technically got a woman captive in his brain?

But perhaps what shines the brightest about Sifeng is how he suffers. He's so pretty when he suffers. Wait. That's not my point.

When his Lovers’ Curse triggers for the first time, Xiao Yinhua speaks the gospel that a lot of the audience probably has in mind: "you did so much for her, you were so good to her, but she doesn’t love you back." And it sounds kind of right? But also kind of not? Then Sifeng opens his mouth and you think, "oh, crap, I've been brainwashed by misogyny yet again."

She never asked me to like her. If someone wants to kill another just because she doesn’t reciprocate their feelings, then that person will never be loved. They also don’t deserve to love another.

Again and again, Sifeng puts himself in harm's way to keep loving Xuanji. Sure, he wants her to love him back, but that's secondary to his desire to be honest with his own feelings.

With the bright beacon of light that is Sifeng’s blinding love, I feel most viewers overlook Xuanji’s capabilities as a female lead. Her comparative passiveness in the relationship makes it seem as if she doesn’t love him enough. I attribute this to the same reason as our previous conclusions, that female characters in romance dramas have a harder time garnering the audience’s approval than their male counterparts. Are we innately more judgmental toward women, or is the standard for men still so low that we’re already impressed when a guy surpasses the bare minimum? Probably both.

It's easy to forget that Xuanji is the one who's nice to Sifeng first. When they first meet, Xuanji literally falls into his arms. Then he just…drops her. (And they say chivalry is dead.) But Xuanji doesn’t care.

The rules of his sect push Sifeng into being a bit of a porcupine in his demeanor. He puts up a wall against everyone, but especially Xuanji. After all, as an innocent boy, Sifeng needs to protect himself from evil women. Or something.

Xuanji is the one who can't take the hint tries to befriend him and tears down his wall with the gentle, graceful nature of a sledgehammer. She insists that she'll retrieve his lost mask because she knows it's important to him. When she discovers that Sifeng is punished over it, Xuanji is the one to point out how unfair it is. Her straightforwardness and sense of principle are the reason Sifeng begins to open up at all.

Xuanji: I’m the one who took off his mask. If you want to hit someone, hit me. [...] Not to mention, he almost died trying to get his mask back. So I'd like to ask you, Palace Leader, is Sifeng's life more important, or is that mask more important?

She knows no fear, so she doesn't consider emotionless rules to be worth anything if they cause pain for the people she cares about. In many ways, Xuanji is the one who teaches Sifeng to stand up for what he believes in.

That Xuanji lacks her six senses makes her the least susceptible to the prejudicial habits of her surroundings. She accepts what they believe, that demons are bad, but only because that's all she knows. Whereas most of her peers are content remaining in their ignorance, this supposedly heartless gal is curious about the world. She can easily abandon her preconceptions in favor of what she witnesses the world to be.

It takes constant practice and tests for Xuanji to completely shed her old beliefs. The introduction of Zi Hu marks the beginning of her growth. Xuanji, concerned and angry that Zi Hu is holding her friends captive, fully intends on killing the fox until Ting Nu reasons with her:

Ting Nu: Zi Hu isn’t a malicious demon. You shouldn’t threaten her life. Xuanji: But she kidnapped my friends. How can I spare her? [...] No. She did bad things, so I have to kill her. Ting Nu: [...] Zi Hu has never actually harmed anybody. She’s simply misguided by her anxieties. You should spare her life. […] If you discover that she’s actually committing malicious acts, you could kill her then, no?

If it were Minyan or Linglong in her position, you could bet that they'd ignore Ting Nu. For one, he's a merman, so of course he'd protect another demon. To Xuanji's credit, she really does give Zi Hu—and Ting Nu—the benefit of the doubt. Does she have to? No. But she does anyway.

If Sifeng’s love comes naturally, then Xuanji’s comes through determination. Who's to say that one is inherently better than the other? It takes ten lifetimes for her to understand a semblance of love. She wants dearly to understand what it means to "like" someone, even though she's already the least unafraid to show how much she cares about others.

After she successfully grows the heart light for Sifeng, I don't think anyone is more excited than Xuanji herself. Look how proud she is. Obviously, she's happy she can use it to protect him, but I imagine that she also views it as the clearest proof that she’s as human as anybody else and as capable of loving as anyone else. Sifeng may be stunned when the heart light disappears, but Xuanji falls despondent—she really wants Sifeng to be someone important to her.

People sometimes struggle to see past Xuanji’s initial naivety. They're especially harsh toward her for not seeing what Sifeng has sacrificed for her until it’s almost too late. It's true, the drama primarily favors Sifeng's perspective, so it's easy to only see what he’s done and ignore Xuanji’s efforts.

In spite of warnings from Sifeng himself to not do so, Xuanji emerges to save him from the third lash of the demon whip. You go, girl.

Love isn’t a competition. But for the sake of the discussion, let's say proof is needed that Xuanji’s effort in the relationship matches Sifeng’s. In that case, the important part is looking at what they sacrifice in a relative scope instead of an absolute one.

The things that Sifeng sacrifices are astronomical. He climbs a tower blustering with an eternal blizzard and puts on the Lovers' Curse mask. He stands right in the middle of the conflict between humans and demons even though there’s no way humans will spare him. He gets stabbed…a lot. But everything he does is a result of his own will and careful calculations—they’re all things he knows he can take responsibility for.

Sifeng's major flaw is that he's a massive liar. He's not right to lie, but he's also right to be scared about what would happen if he doesn't. As a demon, he knows what happens to anyone who isn't distinctly human. That's why he conceals his identity from Xuanji.

Then, once he discovers that Xuanji is also the reincarnation of the Star of Mosha, his fear is ignited again for her sake. Xuanji has almost always been defined by what she is, not who. She's berated for being useless when she doesn’t have her six senses. The moment she’s revealed to have the God of War's power, suddenly everyone finds her more than useful. If she's publicly revealed to be the Star of Mosha, then she'd be killed without question, and the person that is “Xuanji” will also cease to exist. Just as he doesn’t want Xuanji to view him and as anything other than himself, Sifeng doesn't want anyone else to view Xuanji as anyone other than herself. That's also why out of everyone, the one person he must keep the Star of Mosha secret from is Xuanji herself.

When Sifeng's lies begin to unfold, Xuanji is left to handle the mess he's inadvertently created. Suddenly discovering that he's a demon and also protective of the demon that possibly murdered her mother, Xuanji is torn. Her wavering faith in him isn't because of his identity, but because he lied to her.

Zi Hu: Do you dislike it that much, that [Sifeng] is a demon? Xuanji: Should I not? Zi Hu: Well, you healed my wounds. And you’re friends with me and Ting Nu, a merman. As for little Sifeng, he’s not a malicious demon who harms people. I don’t think he was aware of what went on with Tianxu Hall and Lize Palace. Xuanji: That’s different! He shouldn’t have lied to me. He’s the person I trust the most. But he even kept from me who he is. Then, all the things he told me and did with me in the past…what part of it all was real and what was fake? Zi Hu: What’s real and what’s fake? Can’t you just drag him over here and ask him? If he’s a scumbag, just kill him. But if there’s any misunderstandings, the two of you should clear them up. Resolve them and see what solutions there are. When two people are together, the scariest thing is misunderstanding one another for no reason. If you lose each other, that might be the end, forever. You’d regret that.

And then she eventually does try to kill him. Good going, Zi Hu.

Xuanji's main conflict in the latter half of the drama is that she wants to find a solution that satisfies everyone, an impossible dilemma. Everyone starts pressuring her to lead the charge against the demons. It's her duty as the God of War, isn't it? Oh, but if she doesn't want to, it's because she's in love with the enemy. But she can't be in love with the enemy. She's the God of War, after all.

That’s the duplicitous world that Xuanji lives in. Yet, without knowing why he's been dishonest or what else he could be lying about, she still chooses to believe in Sifeng—even if it means being treated as a traitor herself and being further guilt-tripped. She's bound to her duty, family, and the expectations that come along with that. Going against them in any capacity is a challenge to her entire livelihood and the moral standards imposed on her. If you take that into account, suddenly the things that she risks don’t pale in comparison what Sifeng does for her.

As an omniscient audience, it's easy for us to say that she doesn't do enough, that she should know better. It's an interesting thought experiment to wonder what else she could do in such a situation. Her boyfriend lies to her. She believes he has a reason, believes in him when he tells her to trust him. She defends him repeatedly to people who don't even care to listen unless it's to interrupt and call her crazy. She lies to her father that she'll devote herself to killing demons like Sifeng so they'll stop calling her crazy and threatening her. Then, when she goes to rescue Sifeng from Mingxia Cave, he's suddenly getting passive-aggressive with her: “oh, what does the mighty God of War need from a lowly demon like me that she deigns to talk to me?” Bro…if I were her, I might just ditch him in a fit of rage. That's how you want to play? Have fun turning into frozen poultry in this cave, then.

Obviously, more is going on behind the scenes that Xuanji is completely unaware of. Sifeng almost dies from her fire magic that Hao Chen stole. The broken hairpin. And okay, I'll admit that her saying that she'll kill him while he's eavesdropping outside is not a great look. But come on, Sifeng. Where have your critical thinking skills gone? If you can lie, don’t you think Xuanji can too? And after all that, she still instinctively shields him from her father’s sword.

Sifeng. In this case, I do have to criticize you in a serious manner. Do you have any idea how hard it was for Xuanji to finally try to get herself stabbed for you, only for you to go “no, me” and get stabbed again? Do you have a sword-magnet in your chest?

Then Sifeng tells her that he’s never loved her and was only using her because he’s Luohou Jidu, the world's biggest villain. And she still can't bear to hurt him. When Xuanji discovers that Hao Chen has tricked her into using a so-called “Purifying Vase” to doom Sifeng to a painful death, she's furious:

Xuanji: For my own good? You want me to practice the Method of Love, but you also want me to be heartless. I can’t be so contradictory. Hao Chen: I told you to practice the Method of Love through feelings between you and me, not for you to continuously absorb yourself in your fixation on Sifeng! Xuanji, don’t forget. Our marriage is one determined by the heavens. It’s destiny. Xuanji: The heavens determine nothing. If they do, then why did they make Sifeng and I meet in our past nine lives? What a joke of the heavens. Hao Chen: So, you’d rather resign yourself to your doomed fate with that demon than stay properly by my side? Xuanji: Fate isn’t split into a virtuous or doomed one. I hate myself for loving Sifeng before, and we won’t ever be together again. But since I already gave him my love, I won’t take it back.

But of course, Hao Chen has more tricks up his Mary Poppins sleeves. He pulls out all the stops and uses his last breath to manipulate her into stabbing Sifeng. Oh my god. Look at all these trust issues, just making themselves readily available.

Her stabbing him is, how do you say, very bad. But let’s be honest, she’s seen him survive worse. I don't have a nifty conclusion is here, but basically, she subconsciously knows he'll get over it (physically, at least).

Of course, Sifeng is heartbroken. It's intensified by the tragic fate of his father. His father’s goal was always to protect Sifeng from the dangers posed by the racist five sects, led primarily by fabricated memories that his lover Hao Feng was driven to suicide by her own family. When Yuan Lang reveals the truth, that Hao Feng's fear of demons trumped her love for her husband, it’s intense foreshadowing of Sifeng and Xuanji’s relationship. Maybe Xuanji isn't like Hao Feng and she can cross the rift between humans and demons, meeting Sifeng in the middle. But finally, she still retreats, away from him. Her betrayal, now the tenth in all their lifetimes, leads Sifeng to leave behind some of the most truthful but hurtful words for Xuanji to deal with:

I finally understand why my fate turned out as it did in all my past nine lives. From beginning to end, you have always been a heartless person.

It’s not fair to ask Sifeng to keep considering Xuanji’s feelings under the brunt of her violent wrath. But just as she has no idea what he’s been doing to protect her, he has no idea what she’s been doing to protect him. Zi Hu is right again: nothing poses a greater danger to a couple than misunderstandings. And racism.

The ultimate resolution only occurs once Xuanji recovers the memories of their past lives. Congratulations, Sifeng. After a millennium of pining, your love has finally touched the heart of your beloved. Indeed, it might take a long time getting there, but love will find a way.

I love the short scenes that show the God of War and Xi Xuan's quiet but gentle relationship. Xi Xuan is the only one who cares that the God of War wants her own identity, then gives her a moment in which she doesn't have to wear her armor, just as Sifeng does everything in his power to let Xuanji be "Xuanji." Through all their lives, Sifeng is the one who recognizes her for who she is and wants to make her happy, even if she doesn't have a heart.

Activate: Xuanji, shameless mode. After Xuanji tracks down Sifeng in his solitude, they return to their days as teenagers. Xuanji acts like a fool in front of him, demanding his attention, and Sifeng only wants to get her the hell out of his house. It's not only a reminder of the times when things were a lot simpler, but also of how far they've come.

She intends on marrying Sifeng. Even if her father doesn't approve, she no longer cares. There's not enough time left in the world to hesitate about the people you love to satiate someone who can't be satisfied. Just as Sifeng upends his whole life for her, she's willing to do the same.

And as Sifeng is dying, Xuanji makes the ultimate decision to become the Star of Mosha. This isn't a reckless move done just to save him. Rather, her faith in Sifeng has strengthened into steel after all they've been through. Even if the world ends, she knows that a little bird with unshakable resolve will come get her. For two people who have spent most of their time as a pair of parallel lines, never to coincide, this is their point of intersection—a challenge that they'll face together, even if they're apart.

Sifeng: Xuanji, stop! I'd rather die than watch you become a devil for me! Xuanji: Sifeng, I can't consider all that now. I have to save you! Whether I be the Star of Mosha or the God of War, I don't care. I just need you to be okay. Sifeng. If I become Luohou Jidu, you absolutely can't forget me. Remember to bring me back! I cry during this scene. Then I immediately start laughing at Sifeng's gobsmacked expression once Luohou Jidu shows up. It just reads "but...my girlfriend..."

And Xuanji's right. Sifeng is the solution. No one else can save Luohou Jidu, the God of War, and the world by extension. Luohou Jidu's pain results from being betrayed purely because of his identity as a devil, but Sifeng becomes the confidante that Bai Lin pretended to be. The God of War's pain comes from having no self-identity, but Xi Xuan gives her the ability to seek one and accompanies her for a thousand years to help her find it. The suffering that Bai Lin set into motion would lead to a ceaseless cycle of revenge and a destruction of the world’s good due to its sins, but Sifeng alone convinces Luohou Jidu and the God of War that there's something in life worth keeping. But you have to fight for it, and persistently, because good things only come to those who are willing to chase after them.

Xuanji to Bai Lin: I won’t mess with someone else’s life so simply due to my own matters, even if that person is someone as despicable as you. Sifeng once said that using hate to obtain vengeance is an endless cycle. In this life, I already have something that matters more to me than that. I have no space to keep my hatred.

I know it can sound cheesy to say that the best revenge is living a happy life. But Love and Redemption can convert even the most insistent of cynics—me, for example. People will practice evil whether or not there’s a reason for it and whether or not those consequences will ripple out into a tsunami that will engulf the world. Only true, honest love can hope to settle the uneasy sea. It’s why Zi Hu gives Wu Zhiqi something to live for other than war. It’s why Linglong and Minyan have a reason to persist alongside one another. It's why Luohou Jidu gives his heart and life to Sifeng. It’s why Sifeng is able to save Xuanji. It's why the three realms are blessed with the chance to keep finding a reason to persist.

Sifeng and Xuanji’s story is a journey of overcoming all odds; of learning to love someone unconditionally not because it’s easy, but because you want to; of letting that love grow into a ray of hope in the world. Yes, if we let it, love wins all.

Sifeng: Your heart has become one of flesh and blood. It couldn’t bear to destroy the three realms. Because…it’s a heart that I held and warmed in my hands, bit by bit.

#love and redemption #琉璃 #scribbles*#originally this was only going to be about the racism #then the further i got the more i thought “well you can't just talk about the racism and not everything else”#and after adding “everything else” i figured i might as well do a sifeng/xuanji relationship analysis while i was at it #so here we are #it's below 10k words though :D so still bite-sized? ...lol

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eddo-tensei · 10 months

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The Power of Love according to Season 5 of Miraculous

Something disturbing dawned on me concerning...a lot of the development in Season 5 and it comes down to one thing: Love.

At first, Andre and Felix getting redeemed while Chloe gets sent off to the worst fate the show would allow didn't make a lot of sense. The only thing I could get from the writers was just that "Chloe bad, so everyone else good." It was stupid, but it wasn't insidious. At least, not that insidious at first. And then the finale with Gabriel happened and while it took me a while to process my frustrations with this, something finally clicked. Not only concerning that, but some of the other developments I've seen.

Felix getting another chance to the point of JOINING the heroes in the new universe seemed like nonsense until you look at what happened before that. He was someone who Astruc went out of his way to bury in the narrative and was exclusively causing trouble for everyone up to and including GENOCIDE...until he showed his love to Kagami. Suddenly, his actions are seen as righteous and his backstory of being abused by his father was justification for his actions. You see, he loved Kagami and he also apparently loved Adrien too because they were "the same."

Andre was basically just some corrupt politician who was also a pathetic snob. Then when Zoe came in, we suddenly get all of these humanizing bits about how Chloe totally mistreated him (because apparently, not having the guts to say no to your daughter is mistreatment) and when he divorced Audrey, he gets Zoe because he's someone he could be happy with. A true familial love unlike the one he had with Chloe.

Chloe, meanwhile, doesn't love anyone as far as the writers are concerned. Any genuine connection she might have in either the platonic, familial, or the romantic sense, whether it'd be to Adrien, Sabrina, Zoe or Ladybug, are shown to be either fake or so utterly shallow, it doesn't count as "love." With that, everything she does is absolutely reprehensible and doesn't deserve a shred of forgiveness even if it's clear she's a neglected child who needed help. BUT, because she "doesn't love anyone", she doesn't get redemption and deserves to be sent away with a parent who doesn't love her either. Same with Lila, she doesn't love anyone at all and in fact, just jumps from family to family purely to keep up her manipulations.

Finally, we have Gabriel, who had done nothing but sheltered, belittled, and outright ABUSED Adrien as well as commit a multitude of horrid crimes throughout the series. His actions constantly escalated in awfulness throughout the series, even showing that he doesn't care if he destroys the universe to get what he wants. Yet there was always this trait he possessed. His love for Emilie and that ended up coming to the forefront in the finale. Marinette, who had Gabriel dead to rights, decided at the last moment to try and appeal to his humanity because she knows he loved Emilie and in her mind, that love is enough grounds for her to offer him one chance to step up and help. Then when Gabriel opts to betray Marinette and starts the wish, he tells her at the last moment to try and help Adrien remember all of the times he "tried to be a good father," which is apparently an indicator that he actually LOVED Adrien too. THAT ended up being why Marinette decided to lie about Gabriel by saying he died fighting Monarch and went as far as to try and tell Adrien to remember him as a good man. All because she knew Gabriel "loved" him.

This tells me something distressing. Now, the concept of "Love Redeems" is something I'm not at all against and is in fact common in a lot of stories I like. However, it's what Miraculous does with this concept in Season 5 that angers me. The message of Miraculous ends up giving in its grand finale for the Agreste arc isn't that love can help people find the way to kindness. It's that anything you do can be justified as long as you do it for "love." It doesn't matter if you purposely get a cab driver in trouble, attempt to sabotage a date that your crush is in, put together a project that tries to commercialize air, betray someone to help a terrorist, commit genocide, cause untold amounts of damage to your town and beyond, or even destroy the universe! As long as you love someone, everything you do can be justified. Except when we decide that you don't love ANYONE, then we'll do everything in our power to show that all of your connections don't count as love so you can have the worst punishment we could possibly muster. Regardless of intent, that's how the writers ended up describing the Power of Love in Season Five of Miraculous and that's wretched to me.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #mlb #ml writers salt #ml salt #chloe bourgeois #gabriel agreste #felix fathom #felix graham de vanily #ml argos #kagami tsuguri #emilie graham de vanily #emilie agreste #andre bourgeois #zoe lee #lila rossi #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste

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gav-san · 1 year

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I won't get around to this JJK story so I'll post my idea here. Totally a rip-off of some ideas from Twilight Poem but we're here for a good time, not making high art.

Twins, one born with celestial energy, and the other twin born without anything. The celestial twin is favored in the clan until in a terrible accident a cursed spirit manages to infiltrate their clan and steals her eyes, said to hold power beyond compare.

The celestial twin is turned on, and when she and her twin discover that they can utilize cursed spirit energy together, they send the other off to become a sorcerer and find the missing eyes.

The celestial twin is mistreated by the clan and secreted into a temple where no curse can harm a human but can gain strength.

The celestial twin meets a sorcerer named Sukuna, who becomes entranced by the divine power left in her body. He returns often and eventually manages to woo the girl, especially after she heard that her entire clan has tragically died in a terrible fire caused by a rogue curse.

He takes the celestial being in as his bride but makes her promise to never touch him, and to never trust anyone but him. His assistant, Urame, often advises the lady on how to attend to her Lord husband and tells her that the Lord Sukuna cannot touch her until he has 'prepared himself' for her.

Meanwhile, the sister returns to the Clan, having become a powerful sorcerer but discovers the terrible King of Curses, Ryomen Sukuna has destroyed her clan and stolen her sister in an attempt to gain immortality.

In a tomb, she discovers the secret manuscripts of Celestial Spirits, and how curses can use them to gain power. They may be killed to gain immense, godlike power, or if they fall in love, procreate and reach ascendance, they may ascend to the celestial realm and become gods.

The sister is able to reduce her spiritual power and sneak into Sukuna's temple, where she returns the eyes to her Celestial sister and tries to tell her the truth and get her to run away with her. But the sister is in love with her husband already, and so the sister forces her to take her eyes, telling her that her husband is a cursed spirit, killed their family, and is planning on killing her. This use of curse power gets the attention of Urame.

Urame has witnessed the interaction, but believing it better for Sukuna to kill the celestial being and take her power, decides to let her see Sukuna from afar. She witnesses him as he holds court with the other feudal lord, and realizes that he is indeed a monstrous cursed spirit and not just a sorcerer who could use them.

In despair, Urame leads her to Sukuna's throne room, where the bodies of countless are stacked to create Sukuna's throne. The Celestial Twin has a breakdown.

Knowing that she'll never escape, unable to live with herself causing the deaths of her family, and being unaware of Sukuna's true nature, she ends her life.

Her sister manages to take the body and burn it, so no other can use the power within. She also ends up unlocking immense power and helps contrive a plot to take down the King of Curses.

...

1,000 years later, two twins are born into a powerful clan. One is born with celestial energy, and the other twin is born without anything. They both work at their alma mater, Jujitsu High, only to stumble upon a young man who decided to eat a certain finger.

#sukuna x reader #sukuna x yn #sukuna #jjk sukuna #jjk #heien #romance #bittersweet #friends to lovers #reincarnation #celestialeyes #oc x sukuna #thirst

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stellar-constellations · 8 months

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An Alliance (Part 8)

Fem! Spy! (Y/N) x Yuri Briar

Parts: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, current part, nine, ten (to be continued when Spy x Family has more Yuri content!)

(Y/N) is given her own backstory that is important for the story!

The setting for this story is based off West and East Germany's (because Spy x Family is heavily based off Germany in the 1940-1950) laws (or at least replicated to the best of my abilities since it's unknown what time period Spy x Family is exactly in, we'll go with 1950 for the sake of this story).

Historically-accurate women misogyny and mistreatment! Only small comments and historically-accurate laws (replicated to the best of my ability).

The story, plot, and settings might not match up to the Spy x Family manga as it's not completed and the manga is still being crafted.

This series contains spoilers for the manga and anime!

Even more weeks passed as Yuri and I began to know each other more and more. Eventually, we started to figure out each other's likes and interests.

I used to hate Yuri for many things, like how he's extremely strict with work, a morning-person, extremely family-oriented (and I swear he has some weird thing with sisters. Would he date a girl if she was an older sister? 'Cause I am). I also hated him cause he's so bossy and stuck-up, not allowing me to even walk outside for a breath of air without him walking beside me.

Meanwhile, he hated me for a lot of reasons too. Like how I was seen as playful and tired a lot, seeming to have no clear goal of what I want in life. He also didn't like me because I'm carefree and love to tease him.

It's not that good of a match when we're both stubborn and opinionated, stuck in the same apartment for hours on end, not even having a break from work, but we eventually decided to put aside our differences.

Yuri allowed me to sleep in on our days off, and in return I'd lay back on my teasing. Yuri and I agreed on the groceries and dinners we made, deciding to work together to make dinner. I learned that Yuri likes his eggs sunny side up, and he learned I like mine (egg choice). I showed him how to make my family recipes, and Yuri showed me how to make recipes he's stumbled across and adapted (he admitted he doesn't like cooking Yor's dishes, but he eats what she makes anyways because he admires her).

Yuri doesn't care for horror movies as he never gets scared, but he's scared of porcelain dolls (just as I am) so we get scared when watching "The Invisible Man" (even though Yuri swears up and down he isn't scared, he agrees to hold me since I forced him to otherwise I'd have nightmares and talk about it in my sleep, effectively scaring him from my sleep-talk of demons and dolls).

We learned how to co-exist and work together, helping with interrogations and asking for each other's second-opinions. I tried to listen to bugged audios and such, but I end up falling asleep each time as I have to try and wait for something incriminating, so Yuri takes over that part.

Our co-workers are extremely convinced that we're a couple, and it really doesn't seem that off. It feels like as more and more time passes, we get used to having to call each other "wife" and "husband".

We took the bus since the traffic was way too crowded on the road today, that, and me and Yuri felt exhausted after working long hours for so long. We eventually fell asleep on the bus, leaning onto a each as the train peacefully cradled us.

"Yuri? (Y/N)?"

Yuri shot awake, causing me to way up from his harsh movement.

"Whu? Yor?" Yuri questioned.

"You two don't usually ride this train." Yor spoke.

"Oh, uh, just on our way back from a little work trip." Yuri spoke.

I nodded, agreeing before eventually dosing off on Yuri's shoulder, their conversation being alienated in my ears.

Yuri soon woke me up. I mumbled out a "bye" once I realized Yor was still onboard. Yuri grabbed my hand as he led me out.

"What did you and Yor talk about while I was asleep?" I muttered, keeping my eyes low on the ground.

It was too bright outside for me now, and I'm really too tired to keep walking yet I went.

"Nothing really, just small talk." Yuri hummed, he turned to look at me. "Are you okay? You're dragging your feet." Yuri pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just tired. I don't like having to do the interrogations so much. I'm still mad that guy tried punching me when I caught him lying." I sighed.

"Yeah. That was a quick punch..." Yuri spoke, recalling the memories.

I'm really glad Yuri was there to catch that punch and hold him down, since I was sitting down, there really wasn't enough time for me to move away from it.

"Yuri. Can you carry me?" I questioned.

"No." He immediately responded.

"Why?" I sighed, slightly whining.

"You're acting like a child." Yuri sighed.

"But I'm tired." I groaned, then paused, thinking. "You should carry me. It'll make us seem more like a couple to others."

"You're really trying to use that against me?" Yuri deadpanned.

"...Please?" I questioned, causing him to sigh.

"Whatever, hurry up and get on." Yuri groaned, rolling his eyes as he crouched down.

"Thank you, love~" I singed, not much energy into it.

"Whatever." He huffed, grabbed my thighs and placing his arms under them to get a firm grip.

"You're the best~" I praised, resting my head on his shoulder and sighing happily.

"I know I am." He snarked, hiding his face to hide his painfully obvious smile.

I decided not to fight back on it, resting my eyes again.

Mission after mission, I swear I'm going to go insane. I thought.

We were chasing after a suspect who ran, my legs were tired as I mentally cussed out the man we're chasing. I never ran as much in WISE as I do here! Usually I'd get escorted to my missions or at least have a motorcycle (well, at least in WISE I would)!

"The suspect fled to the back alley! Go around and cut him off, you two!" the Lieutenant ordered.

"Yes, sir!" Yuri responded.

I followed Yuri, not bothering to responded back to the Lieutenant in case I accidentally project my unprofessional thoughts to my higher-up. We chased in an empty alley, desperate to cut him off, but Yuri suddenly fell. He didn't trip, no, he just fell, plopped down face first into the ground.

"Yuri? Are you okay?!" I questioned, immediately stopping and checking Yuri's pulse to make sure it wasn't heart failure or a stroke.

"Yuri, what happened? Did he get the drop on you?!" the Lieutenant questioned, running to us.

"He just suddenly collapsed!" I spoke.

"Nngh... Captain... I think I..." Yuri paused, "caught a cold..."

"So suddenly?!" the Lieutenant exclaimed.

"No wonder you were sneezing and coughing today when you woke up. Sheesh, Yuri, if you felt bad, you could've called in sick." I sighed, putting his arm around my shoulder and picking him up with the help of the Lieutenant.

"Evil never waits..." Yuri responded.

I signed me and Yuri out early, the Lieutenant going to the Director to tell what happened and to excuse our absences. I took Yuri's car keys and drove us back to our apartment, resting him on the couch.

"You know, you really worried me, stupid. I thought you inhaled some poisonous gas or went into cardiac arrest. Tell me when you're feeling unwell, jerk..." I muttered, ignoring the tears swelling up in my eyes.

I thought I was gonna lose you, just like everyone else...

"Sorry..." Yuri mumbled.

"Don't worry, love. Just don't scare me like that again..." I sighed.

"Whenever I remember that... my sister's away... my immune system... breaks down." Yuri explained.

Woah. Sounds serious... seriously stupid. I thought.

"Right, business trip on a cruise." I commented. "I'll go get you some medicine at the pharmacy." I spoke.

"W-wait, you can't go alone!" Yuri spoke.

"I'll be fine, don't worry." I reassured.

"No... It's in the... contract... for me to not... leave you alone... in case you... leave..." Yuri huffed.

"Jerk!" I scoffed. "I wanted to make sure you heal up and you believe I'll abandon you while you're vulnerable! Besides, I've already left your sight before and I returned, did I not?!"

"Sorry..." Yuri sighed. "If you go... could you get some herbal tea? The kind with the bear on it..." He huffed.

"...Whatever..." I huffed, rolling my eyes.

I’ll get him it anyways since he’s sick. I thought.

I hurried to the pharmacy, buying the box and noticing the box’s bear it's the same herbal tea that taste like absolute shit.

Well, maybe he loses his tastes when he’s sick? So he doesn’t realize it’s bad? Maybe he likes the dirt-like texture. I thought, walking out of the pharmacy with the box and medication in hand.

I walked back into the apartment, unlocking the door with the key I borrowed (stole) from Yuri’s pocket. I walked back to the bedroom and noticed Yuri sleeping, moving around a lot in his sleep.

I decided I’d make the tea for him, getting a kettle of hot water brewing. I waited for the tea to boil, then placed a packet in a mug, pouring the water into it.

I’m not a fan of Japanese tea, I prefer American tea better, but maybe my sense of taste changed? I thought, taking a drink of the tea from the mug.

“BLEGH!” I immediately spit it in the sink, coughing profusely as the taste lingered in my mouth. “Hell no!” I exclaimed.

How could he willing choose something like that?!

I grumbled, muttering complaints and insults of the cartoon bear on the box as I carried Yuri’s mug of disgusting tea and a box of medicine for his cold.

I walked in, setting the stuff down on the drawer and looked at Yuri. He was awake, shooting up from his sleep rather quickly.

“Nightmare?” I questioned.

“No. Just some past memories.” He sighed, his voice hoarse from his cold.

“Ah.” I hummed. “I got you the tea you wanted, though it tastes like shit.”

“Thanks. It’s the one that works the best. And also the one that tastes most like what Yor used to make.” Yuri spoke, sipping his tea.

He immediately threw up, but seemed re-energized.

“Gross! Yuri!” I wailed.

“Blarf! Now let’s go catch us some criminals! I’m back to 100 percent! We gotta purify the world before my sister returns!” Yuri shouted.

“Go back to bed, stupid!” I screamed. . .

More weeks passed as me and Yuri learned to fall into the husband and wife role perfectly. We can go anywhere and be seen as a couple—almost, which will be explained soon enough. But I realized a new problem arose…

It’s all fake.

All the hugs, all the handholding, all the “see you soon”s, all the kisses, we had to fake it all. We had to fake every compliment, every gift, everything we did outside, was fake. But all the insults, all the teasing, all the “I hate you’s", all the nagging, all of that was real.

And the problem was, I’ve begun to enjoy Yuri’s company too much.

I’ve begun to enjoy waking up next to him and complaining about not wanting to get up. I’ve begun to enjoy walking to the nearest cafe for breakfast or just skipping and deciding to eat a big lunch later. I’ve begun to enjoy our handholding sessions and hugs and kisses to prove that we’re a "couple". I’ve begun to enjoy being able to see Yuri everyday; but he doesn’t.

He doesn’t look forward to see me in the morning. He doesn’t look forward to our breakfasts, lunches, dinners, or desserts. He especially doesn’t enjoy the fake affection we had to broadcast to others.

I never expected to start wanting to fall in love, to start entertaining the idea of what life would be like with kids, to start a new chapter. I never wanted to leave someone with the fact that I was a bad-doer and that I’ll be at fault for making them cry—if they could even still think of me as their lover after knowing all I’ve done. All I've killed and sacrificed to be what I am today.

I don’t like to hold regrets, but I am just as human as the next, even if Yuri doesn’t believe it since I was once a Westalis citizen.

I regret that I killed people with no thought. That I’ve broken families in just a second, shattered them so they could never be mended back together. I regret stealing information, turning my back on people, and never once listening to my heart and feelings.

That’s for the best. I thought to myself. If I allow myself to get attached, then I’ll surely never be able to leave. I told myself.

But do I really want to leave him? I thought. I'm going to have to. I've read the Handler's message:

Hello, Agent Vixen. To ensure your alliance with WISE, we need you to gather information on what they know about WISE, who the members are, what our missions are; I want information such as this and more reported to us as soon as you can—without letting any of them know you're still working with us. We also need you to figure out what are their affiliations with the National Unity Party. What do they discuss about? What is said about Westalis? Anything and everything involving the war, our agents, Westalis, and Ostania, we need you to report without being found out. Don't worry about covering for WISE agents, if they were caught; they're no longer a WISE agent in our books. And if you're discovered, we will do our best to recruit you back to us as long as you're proven to be reliable and trustworthy for a second chance.

The Handler.

I'm a failure of a person. I can't even choose a side to back up; I'm a terrible wife too. I sighed, watching as a girl in the coffee line chatted with Yuri. And I’m not jealous. I thought, staring at them socialize.

Why would I be jealous? It’s all fake. I shouldn’t care if Yuri decides to leave with a girl. I shouldn’t care if I get kicked out and a new girl moves in. I shouldn’t care if the contract gets breached and I die (it really already has). I shouldn’t care at all, it’s Yuri’s life.

But what if he starts loving someone? I don’t think I could watch the stages of him slowly falling head over heels in love with someone. If that happens, I’ll be gone. I'll be forced to go back to Westalis; if WISE even deem me worthy enough to be kept alive, that is (but I bet the SSS would kill me before then).

But it’s not what I want, it’s what Yuri wants. I’ve been nothing but a nuisance ever since I was caught. I really started slacking, and I've been doing even worse now that I'm with Yuri; I'm losing my spark.

I stood up from the seat, deciding I was tired of waiting (and not because Yuri was talking with a girl) and walked up to them.

“Hey! You remember my order, right?” I questioned Yuri, budding into the conversation.

I don’t care if I’m being rude, it’s about time I start being selfish with my own feelings (haven't I been?)

“(Favorite coffee/drink), right?” Yuri questioned, looking down.

“Yep.” I smiled.

“Is this your girlfriend?” the girl questioned, smiling.

"Wife, actually." Yuri confirmed, grabbing my hand and holding it.

A wave of shock hit me. I was expecting Yuri to get mad at me budding in, potentially ruining his chances with a hot girl. I was expecting him to be bummed out, mad, shocked, sad, anything but supportive and proud.

I felt my heart race as my face heated up.

Wow. Wasn't what I was expecting. I thought.

"Really?" the girl spoke, shocked. "I didn't see a ring, sorry."

Me and Yuri looked down at our hands at the same time, noticing our fingers.

Ah, we still don't have rings, actually. I thought.

"We're engaged and saving up for rings." Yuri explained quickly.

"I see..." the girl went quiet. "Sorry for disturbing."

Yeah... I thought. Don't be a home-wrecker.

I decided to stay with Yuri in case she decides to change her mind about being a home-wrecker. The girl left and I sighed, feeling relieved, like I overcame a serious obstacle. Yuri is pretty attractive, but I've watched as girls quickly leave once he starts his obsessive rants about his sister.

Maybe I was a little jealous. I thought to myself. I think I got a little insecure… I’ll keep that in mind so it doesn’t happen again.

If Yuri noticed it, he decided not to question it. We ordered our drinks, waiting before receiving it. We walked into Yuri’s car, deciding today we’d drive instead of taking the bus. Yuri drives as I thought to myself intensely.

“Yuri.” I spoke up.

“Hm?” he acknowledged.

“Let’s get wedding rings.” I boldly spoke.

Yuri swerved the car, almost hitting another car before parking to the right side of the road.

“The hell’s your problem?!” I screamed, scared as I held my chest.

Did I just lose my heart? Is it gone? Am I dead?

“My problem?! What’s your problem?!” Yuri declared. “You don’t just go randomly asking that! Do you even know how much money rings cost?! We’re not married married!”

“Of course I know. We can go to a pawnshop and get them!” I hissed. “But it’s been pointed out that we don’t have rings! Usually when people engage, they at least have a engagement ring before a wedding ring! It’ll make our act look more believable.”

“People already believe us! Who do we need to coax?” Yuri questioned.

“Our coworkers! We work with detectives, Yuri, they’re bound to get suspicious about us when there’s no ring and we’re regularly visiting the Director.” I pointed out.

“Is this because of that girl?” Yuri questioned suddenly.

“No!” I immediately declared, determined to shut down that idea. “I’m just thinking about our contract!”

“Ugh… (Y/N)…” Yuri sighed, hitting his head against the steering wheel.

"My life is on the line, you know?! It all relies on this relationship!" I exclaimed.

The car horn honked as he did, but we both chose to ignore that as he raised his head.

“I don’t plan on falling in love or whatever you’re thinking of in that pretty little head of yours.” He sighed, flicking my forehead.

“Hey!” I yelped, offended that he flicked my forehead and called me stupid indirectly.

“You don’t have to worry. I never planned on having a wife or anything.” Yuri spoke.

“Why? Are you gay?” I immediately spoke.

“NO!” Yuri screamed, angry. “I just never saw the point of it. I decided to dedicate my life to helping Yor.”

Pathetic. I immediately thought.

“But what if you do fall in love?” I questioned. “What are you gonna do then?”

“I won’t.” Yuri sighed.

“But what if you do?” I questioned, determined for an answer.

“I’ll ignore them.” He groaned, hitting his head on the steering wheel once more.

“But what about the rings and our contract?” I questioned.

“What about them?” Yuri questioned.

“My life is literally held together by a paper packet and our relationship.” I spoke.

“And?” Yuri muttered.

“You’re not gonna care if I die...?” I questioned, tears welling up in my eyes.

“N-no! Of course I’d care. I’d—would you stop crying already?!” Yuri spoke, freaking out as tears started streaming down my face.

“I can’t help it!” I cried.

“No! Help it! Help it, damn it!” Yuri groaned.

“I just said I can’t!” I huffed.

“I didn’t mean it! I don’t want you to die, geez!” he sighed.

“Prove it…” I muttered.

“How am I gonna do that? I’m not going to kiss you.” He spoke bluntly.

“That wasn’t on the table!” I huffed, ignoring my offended and dejected feelings. “And to prove it…” I muttered, raising my left hand and holding it in the air as I pointed to my ring finger with the help of my other hand.

“I’ll think about it.” Yuri sighed almost rolling his eyes at me. “Are you happy now?”

“Not yet.” I spoke, causing Yuri to groan. “Would you cheat in our marriage?”

“Have you no trust in me?!” Yuri cried out.

“Since you didn’t mind if I died or not, yeah!” I immediately retorted.

“I said I would mind!” Yuri clarified quick. “And besides. If I actually did did get married, which would never happen, but hypothetically, I wouldn’t. That’s treason to the relationship, and I don’t support treason. Just think back to our interrogation with Jim Hayward.”

I don’t think it’d be that serious, but good job on being a decent person, Yuri. I thought.

“Why am I answering these questions and you’re not giving any information back?! This is trickery!” Yuri shouted, angry as he hit the gas pedal and drove back into the road, speeding a little off the appropriate speed limit to make it to work on time.

"You willing answered my questioned; I used no form of deception." I spoke, raising my hand up like I was testifying in court to prove innocence.

"Yeah right..." he grumbled. "What are you going to do when you fall in love?" he questioned. "And don't say you won't; I already used that."

"Hm." I hummed, thinking. "I'd wait and see if they recuperate. If they don't, I keep the feelings to myself, if they do, I won't do anything either. I have a marriage license with you, and I refuse to be a cheater, even in a fake relationship."

"Okay. And what about actual marriage?" Yuri questioned.

"I want to have a husband and kids one day, but I'm not going to settle for just anyone. They'll be put through a test to make sure they're the one." I stated.

"Pfft." Yuri scoffed, smiling. "What's this? Are you suddenly Cinderella waiting for Prince Charming?" Yuri joked.

"Ugh." I scoffed back. "As if! I meant that they need to follow my dad's expectations of my husband, with a few exceptions from me, of course. Plus, Cinderella sought out the Prince first, I'd be offended if the guy I danced with didn't recognize my face!"

"What's your dad's exceptions? And yours?" Yuri spoke. "Some buff guy who can lift 200 pounds?"

"Why? You been rejected for guys like that?" I questioned.

"I told you, I've never fallen in love and never will..." Yuri grumbled.

"My expectation of a lover is someone whose stable with a good sense of morals. I could care less about looks or the sex-drive, but I'd want a partner whose honest, loyal, responsible, and no one-sided expectations; like they can go out with friends but I can't, you know?" I spoke.

"I'm genuinely surprised; that's achievable." Yuri commented.

"Oh? Are you going to be a suitor for this bachelorette?" I joked.

"Like there's others." Yuri scoffed.

"Oi!" I exclaimed. "Of course there's others! I'm not as unlikable as you."

"Whatever floats your love boat." Yuri sighed.

"Your boat is Titanic." I retorted.

Titanic because it's a sunken ship...

Yuri grumbled under his breath, before speaking up.

“I couldn’t ever see you being a real wife.” Yuri claimed.

“Why?” I questioned, side-eyeing him.

“Cause you don’t act very sophisticated, I’d be surprised if you even find a guy interested in you.” Yuri stated as if it was a fact.

“Their loss; they don’t know what they’re missing.” I spoke.

“What? Like constant nagging about nothing and everything? Constant clumsily and running into still doors and still wall? Constant clinging onto them as you drag your feet about not wanting to get out of bed, or to work, or to the store, or to the doctors? Constant crying? Constant—“

“Say one more thing and I’ll turn that steering wheel so fast off that bridge we’re about to cross.” I spoke, pointing at the bridge we’re stalking towards.

"...Constant baking at three A.M.?" he shot me a dirty glare.

"You can't talk bad about my brownies! I love them and I know you love them too!" I shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

I can deal with a lot of things, but disrespecting my brownies is a no no.

"As if." He spoke, rolling his eyes.

"Why do you wake up whenever I cook them, then eat them 0.2 seconds after they get out of the oven?" I spoke, crossing my arms. "I barely get two pieces!"

"I wake up because I don't feel you in bed, so I think you escaped." Yuri stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Why do you eat the brownies then?" I questioned.

"...Because they are in my line of sight and we do not waste food in our house." He stated.

"Or, you just love me and my cooking." I smiled.

Yuri jumped up, startled as his eyes blew wide and he looked at me with a red face.

"AS IF!" he shouted.

"Woah! Such a strong reaction! Maybe you do love me!" I laughed as he glared at me.

"Did you not catch the 'I’d be surprised if you even find a guy interested in you' earlier?" he questioned, his face showing he was unamused.

"I think I'm very pretty and interesting." I smirked, looking into the car's rear mirror for a second before focusing my attention back to Yuri. "Besides, people in love always like to give each other a hard time. Just ask Donnie and his wife." I smirked.

"...You're a brat." He muttered.

"Aw! You're the light of my day and stars of the night. You're my honey bunch sugar' plum gum drop pumpkin wumpkin lemon sundae swirl little love bug-" I gushed, smirking before he cut me off.

"STOP THAT!" he screamed, his face red.

"Sorry..." I muttered, acting sad before smiling brightly again. "My little cherry pie dandelion angel dove swan cupid baby cutie sweetie blackberry muffin lemon glaze chocolate-"

I went on until Yuri blasted the music on the radio until I shut up.

We made it to work, stepping out of the car and noticing our vans being loaded up with equipment.

Must be a big raid. I thought to myself as we walked into the building.

“Ah, Lieutenant, Mrs. Lieutenant.” A lieutenant greeted us as we walked down the hallway. “I heard your niece’s bus is being held hostage right now, are you aware?”

“Niece?” I questioned before my eyes widened. “You mean my niece?!” I exclaimed.

Little pink girl, Anya! I liked her! The first time I met her, I didn’t get to know her well. But the second time I saw her, I kept thinking of what she likes since me and Yuri had to watch her. She answered all my questions without me evening having to ask (she has perfect intuition! I like her!) and she even called me pretty and that’s why she kept staring at me!

“Chihuahua girl’s bus got hijacked?” Yuri questioned, shocked. “Let’s get to the scene!” Yuri exclaimed, grabbing my hand and dragging me down the hallway.

We ran down the hallways, finding the Lieutenant followed by a small squad with him.

"Captain! We heard Chihuahua Girl's bus got hijacked!" Yuri shouted as we both ran up to the scarred-face lieutenant.

"Hey, who told them that? And Chihuahua girl...?" he questioned. "You know I can't have you showing your face at the crime scene. Your sister's kid might recognize you both. And don't even think of telling city hall."

"Urk... Understood, sir." Yuri spoke, deep in thought.

"Like hell!" I shouted boisterously. "You have two options, but both of them will end up with me and Yuri ending up at that scene! Either you let us go with, or I'm hijacking one of those damn vans and driving there myself."

"You don't even have any information on the assignment. And you're too low of a level to participate." The Lieutenant informed.

"I have my ways. Watch me." I glared, then swiftly grabbed the paper packet out of one of the lieutenant's hand in the squad.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, reaching for it.

I took a step back and read the short packet. Not much information, two Eden Academy buses hijacked by the Red Circus, no straight motive on why they did so.

The Red Circus? I thought, shuddering. They used to be a peaceful student movement protest group, but their good ways turned sour once their movement for peace and equality for the weakest members of society. The state turned violent to them, causing the Red Circus to resort to an extreme methods, seeking revenge and justice after many of the students died.

I've done gigs to spy on the Red Circus to distribute peace in the country, as well as having to spoil their plans because they affected Westalis' and almost inflicted some serious protocols Ostania would've taken. Because of my interference, they have a target on me and other spies. If there's one thing I know, they're not friendly people.

Please be safe, Anya. I thought to myself, mentally panicking every second we're stuck here.

"Red Circus, two Eden Academy buses hijacked, motivations unknown." I spoke, dropping the papers down onto the desk. "Now that we know about the situation, we can go. We don't have to be right there, but we should be in a good distance for back up. You'd worry about your daughter and wife too, would you not?" I questioned, crossing my arms.

The Lieutenant sighed, not seeing to have much battle spirit in himself.

"Fine. But hurry to the vans otherwise you'll chase dust." He commanded, exiting the office.

"Yes, sir!" me and Yuri both saluted.

"Sometimes, your stubbornness is a blessing, but other times, it's a curse." Yuri sighed, smiling.

We ran out into the van, hopping in and taking off instantly as we closed the door.

"We'll go to the bus where your niece isn't present, that way we won't risk any exposure." Lieutenant spoke.

I resisted the urge to scream and kick the seats.

BUT IS ANYA SAFE?!

"Alright." Yuri acknowledged, nodding.

We made quick haste to the scene, scoping out the surroundings to make sure none of the members were outside.

"Here, take these earpieces so we can communicate." Lieutenant spoke. "Mrs. Lieutenant, you go with your husband to infiltrate. Take these." He handed both me and Yuri gas masks along with the ear pieces.

Me and Yuri nodded, moving into one of the entrances into the base.

"Hey." Yuri spoke, grabbing my arm. "You're not infiltrating. I'm not having you go into danger."

"What? Why?" I questioned.

"We can't risk it. Yor would get suspicious if you're hurt." Yuri spoke.

"She'll get even more suspicious if you're hurt. I can serve as backup to watch your back." I spoke.

"No. You can be backup from afar, but you're not going into battle." Yuri spoke sternly.

I glared at him, before huffing. "Fine. Whatever. But if you get hurt, then I told you so."

"Thanks." He smiled, placing the earpiece into his ear.

"Be safe, love." I spoke, leaning up and kissing his cheek before running away, to the side of the building and up one of the ladders.

I climbed up the ladder, listening to the conversation in my ear as I placed my gas mask on my face, just in case.

"I see six targets. They're total amateurs. They have to know the other bus is surrounded, but they're not being cautious at all." A man spoke into the earpiece. "Wait till all six are outside the bus. That's our opening. The guy with the beard seems to be their leader. Deal with the others."

I made it to the top, putting up the gas mask to wear and grabbed the gun from my belt.

If they have the audacity to even try something to those kids, I'll aim for the head instead of their legs... I thought, propping myself on the pillar cliff.

I took a quick look around, seeing as I'm probably the only sniper here. It wasn't the captain's orders, but honestly I could care less about what that man tells me. These are Yuri's orders, and as his coworker and "wife", I have to fulfill them.

"Do not give anyone a chance to radio out anything." The lookout ordered.

"Berta team, ready." One informed.

"Cäsar team, ready." Another informed.

"All teams ready. Prepare the tear gas." The captain commanded. "Execute!"

Two cans rolled into the way, causing the men to freak out.

"The cops?!" one shouted, confused.

"Koff! Retreat to the bus! Use the kids as-" I heard a man shout, but I didn't allow the man to finish his sentence as I locked my gun onto him, shooting straight into his head.

"Resistance confirmed." I spoke.

"Who the hell just did that?" the captain questioned.

"Me. I figured you needed backup." I smirked, following the battle with my gunsight.

"You didn't follow orders." He grumbled.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, instead opting watching the scene play out.

"A 'thank you' would've been appreciated." I spoke sarcastically.

"Aw! Damn it!" the supposed leader shouted.

He ran to the bus and gripped on the door handle. I was about to shoot before remembering how it could harm the kids if I miss my shot, and I redirected my gun.

One of the SSS agents quickly grabbed his arm and punched the leader in the face.

"A man your age, hiding behind a bunch of kids..." he spat.

Gunfire went off that wasn't mine, and the agent got shot in the shoulder by the leader.

"Ngh, yeah..." the lieutenant huffed. "Real mature!" he shouted, kicking him hard on the stomach.

The leader fell down and I watched a different agent fighting. I redirected my attention back to the leader and shot his leg, keeping him down as he tried to get back inside the bus.

Stay down, stubborn bitch... I thought.

I eyed the agent who got shot in their shoulder, making sure no remaining members of the Red Circus tried to harm them or see him pass out.

"Safety of the hostages confirmed. Berta team, do an area sweep as a precaution. We have one wounded." The captain spoke.

I climbed down from the ladder just in time to see Team Cäsar walking out, dragging the wounded one out of the building and taking off the mask. The agent shot turned out to be Yuri.

"Yuri!" I exclaimed, running over to him.

"He should be fine." One of them said.

"Fucking move!" I ordered, roughly slamming my shoulder on his and effectively pushing him out of the way.

"Ow! She's rude..." he muttered, rubbing his sore shoulder.

I observed Yuri's shoulder carefully as he groaned in pain.

"No major arteries damaged. Only one bullet. It didn't go out the other way, so the bullet is still lodged into his shoulder. Is there a first aid with forceps inside of any of the vans?" I questioned, doing my best to stay calm.

In actuality, I was freaking out. My hands were shaking along with my bottom lip as I took a deep breath, doing my best to stop myself from showing fear. If the patient (Yuri) notices I'm scared, he might get scared too, it'll speed up the pulse and the blood will pour out quicker.

Get a grip, it's not the first time you've seen someone shot. I thought to myself, hiding the vision of Rancher, or Hujo, or Net in my mind.

I'm not alone. I don't have a huge gun. I'm fine. Help is here. He'll be fine. I thought, my ears starting to ring from my blood quickening.

"No. We don't have forceps, but there's bandages." They spoke.

"We can get the bullet with this pocket knife?" another one questioned.

I shot them a look. "Are. You. Fucking. Stupid?" I spat. "Digging around in his wound will only cause even more damage. The bullet has done enough damage as it is, it's not harmful anymore. Just get the fucking first aid and bring it here."

"S-sorry, ma'am..." he stuttered, looking down. "I-I'll get that first aid, ma'am!"

"How you feeling, Yuri? You see any white or black lights? You feel overheated or too cold?" I questioned, looking down at his face.

"I'm dying!" he shouted.

"No, you're not!" I hissed, my tone harsher than I wanted it to.

Don't say stuff like that. I'm not going to lose another person like this.

"Here, ma'am!" the soldier came back.

I ripped open the first-aid, grabbing the bandages, dressing, and wipes. I cleaned off most of the blood I could manage with disposable wipes, and gently plugged the wound with foam dressing.

"YOWCH! IT HUUUUUURTS!" he screamed.

Where was that pain resistance while fighting earlier? I thought.

"Calm down, love. I'm trying my best, so stop moving." I spoke softly, hoping he'd copy my volume.

"Um, ma'am. I apologize for being clueless, but aren't you supposed to remove the bullet? I'm sure we could find a way without hurting him. Wouldn't keeping the bullet in get infected?" the soldier from earlier spoke.

"INFECTED?!" Yuri shouted. "Damn my luck! Why must I suffer like this for chihuahua girl, of all people?!" he screamed.

I rolled my eyes, quickly leaning down and kissing his lips.

"Shut it, Yuri!" I scolded. "You'll increase blood flow!"

He went quiet, dazed as he stared at me plugging the wound.

"As for your question. It's fine, it wouldn't get infected unless dirt or dust got into the wound, which is why I'm covering it so no debris gets in and infects it, along with stopping blood flow too. The bullet is sterile, meaning it's no threat to being infected since the gun's blast heated the bullet hot enough to where it flies in the air at the target, the heat cures the metal, therefore the metal won't be a threat. Plus, to be extra safe, the bullet is plugging the wound from bleeding out excessively, and it didn't go completely through his body, so that's good (for the most part)." I explained.

"Wow. You're smart, ma'am." The soldier gushed.

"I didn't even know that... damn..." the other soldier spoke, looking down depressingly.

Well, no shit. You aren't a part of the medical squad, and you don't seem to have been apart of the military. I thought.

I noticed the two medical personnel that are supposed to be taking care of Yuri instead watching from the sidelines away from the two rookie second-lieutenants and us. They must believe I'm doing the job good enough to where they don't need to step in.

"Hey! That's my wife so watch what you're saying!" Yuri declared, snapping out of his hypnosis.

I wrapped his wound with triangle bandage, (which is also good for filtering water, I learned when I was in the military!)

"There, done." I spoke as tears welled up in his eyes.

"It still hurts!" he complained, quieter then before.

"Want a kiss to make it better?" I teased, rolling my eyes.

He immediately directed his attention to the side, going quiet.

"Up," I commanded. "Let's get you to a private hospital." I commented. "And you two." I spoke, turning my head to the two men who watched the procedure.

"Y-yes, ma'am!" they both saluted, a little scared.

What the hell are they scared for? I thought, confused.

"Grab hydrogen peroxide and scrub the blood off the floors in there, really good. It'll lose all of his DNA in the scene, that way there will be no evidence of us here in case the Red Circus or WISE decide to snoop out the place after we leave." I ordered.

"Yes, ma'am!" they spoke.

"And good work today, men." I acknowledged, bowing my head and grabbing Yuri's hand that had his uninjured shoulder.

I dragged Yuri into the van, seeing that the captain was already there waiting for us.

"Hop in." He spoke.

I opened the door for Yuri (since chivalry is dead, I thought jokingly) and had him sit down. I got in and closely watched Yuri, making sure that he was okay.

"You disobeyed my commands." The captain spoke.

"Yes, sir. I did." I spoke.

"I told her to." Yuri admitted, panting. "I didn't want her getting hurt."

"It's part of the job to take bullets, literally..." the Lieutenant spoke. "However, because you disobeyed me, not only did you save the kids from a second stunt he pulled, but you also immobilized him to where we can arrest him. You also saved another solider from getting shot. And you're experienced in first aid as you've helped Yuri when other experienced agents couldn't get there in time or didn't know how." He sighed. "I really hate admitting this, but throughout the time we've worked together, you've exceeded my expectations; however, I am officially impressed in your abilities. I should've never doubted your position here as a SSS officer and lieutenant just because you are a lady."

"Thanks. I don't think you're that ugly." I admitted without second thought.

"Thanks— wait what?" he questioned.

"Hm?" I hummed.

"What did you— ...never mind." He sighed. "I'll write the report for the Director. I'll inform him of your vacations from work since I figure you'll help him heal." I was about to speak, before he answered. "Yes, you'll get paid while on vacation."

"Sweet..." I muttered.

"However, next time, please tell me if you disagree with your position in a plan or if you believe there's a better solution. If we're confused in action, we could die." The lieutenant spoke.

"Yes, sir." I acknowledged, feeling a slight pit of guilt inside of my stomach.

"And good job, Yuri. You never fail to impress me, as always." The lieutenant spoke.

"Thanks... can we just hurry up and get to the hospital?" he questioned.

"You heard him. Step on it, grandma." I gruffed to the male driver.

The hospital told me that the SSS would take care of the paper work and medical costs since it's apart of the job's perks. They gave me instructions on how to care for Yuri in his state. I led Yuri out of the hospital, taking the bus to the SSS building so we can go get our car.

Yuri was quiet the whole time, not that I don't mind. I understand with rethinking your choices and wondering how you got to getting shot since I've experienced it before.

I got Yuri into the passenger seat of the car and had Yuri toss me the keys, allowing me to start the engine. By now, us being alone in the car started to unease my nerves.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I suggested.

"How'd you know what to do?" he questioned.

"Dress your wounds?" I questioned.

"Yeah." He confirmed.

"I told you I was in the Westalis military when I was seven, did I not?" I spoke.

"You did, but how did you know exactly that?" he questioned.

"I studied up on first aid when I was seven, so I'd be prepared when they let me into the military after pestering them over and over to let me join. When I was in the military, they gave us first aid classes. Then, during battle, I lost two of my soldiers and friends in the battle, those two saved me when the bombings in Luwen, Westalis. If it wasn't for them, I would've died, and yet I couldn't save them because I froze up." I admitted.

"Then, I was assigned to another rescue mission a few weeks later, and my friend who was there to help save me with the other two, was shot. That time, I refused to leave. I was too close to enemy territory so the military refused to come aid us, I was low on ammo, and I wasn't strong enough to carry or drag him away without injuring him or making it in time. By a miracle, one of the soldier's heard my coordinates over the radio and retrieved me, but we had to leave because the enemy found us, and I had to leave my friend." I explained.

"After that, I left the military after some time, no longer wanting to watch those I love die or unknowingly step into another landmine, then I was sought out to be a spy, and I learned more medical shit there. And voilà, here we are." I smiled.

"Huh." Yuri commented.

"I also got shot twice in that last battle." I smirked.

"Twice? At seven? I can barely handle this!" Yuri exclaimed.

"I was just hella lucky I didn't die." I chuckled. "Now, what do you want for dinner?"

"I still have another question." Yuri spoke.

"Is it about dinner?" I asked.

"No." He admitted.

"I guess I can entertain you." I spoke, letting out a yawn.

"Why'd you kiss me? Twice?" Yuri questioned.

"That's what's so important?" I smiled. "Well, first was a good luck kiss. I was worried you'd be hurt, and look where we are. Besides, that helped our act." I explained. "And second, it was to shut you up so you didn't kill yourself. To calm you down."

Yuri hummed. "Do you want to keep our act fake?"

"What do you mean?" I questioned, turning my head to him before looking back at the road.

"I mean, earlier you were talking about getting rings, and I'll be honest, I've thought about it before." Yuri admitted, turning his head to the window. "I thought about it a lot, to where I planned to go through with it." He spoke, opening the car's storage port and pulling out a black case.

"...Yuri?" I questioned, surprised and pulling over to avoid crashing in my dazed surprise (I did it way better and more smoothly than Yuri did earlier that day, might I add).

"I figured... I'd make it official, especially if we're going to be living together for who knows how long. And... I might've caught something for you, and I was a jerk because I was afraid of falling in love with what I thought was the enemy, because I convinced myself that you'd leave; but you've proven more than once that you'd stay." Yuri smiled, opening the box.

"I know it ain't nothing fancy, no candlelight dinner or something. I would've planned something, but after today, I realized how easy it is to die, and I'd rather die knowing that I tried to be someone good for you rather than be some jerk." He chuckled.

I felt tears well up in my eyes as I started crying.

"Hey! What's wrong? If you don't feel the same, you can just reject!" Yuri spluttered, looking at me concerned.

"Today's been such a roller coaster. First, I get all mad about you and some random chick because I was jealous of her taking you away. Then, I almost have a heart attack that my niece is in danger. After that, I swear I was going to die because I almost lost you to the reaper. And now, I'm being proposed to." I laughed.

"Yeah, I guess I could've waited later." Yuri smiled.

"No. I'm glad you did now. I was thinking about sneaking out tonight and running to the nearest jewelry store to find a ring." I joked.

Yuri placed the ring on my ring finger and I smiled observing it.

Of course it has Yuri's touch. A ruby jewel and silver banding. I thought, swooning over the ring.

"Turn it over." Yuri spoke.

I took it off and turned it over, seeing that underneath, the wording "Mrs. Briar" was welded into it.

"I love it." I admitted. "I love you too."

"I mean, I'm hoping so." Yuri joked, causing me to laugh. "I love you too. Thank you for being with someone stubborn like me."

"That's my line." I smiled.

I'm happy, extremely, but I remembered what I have to do. As part of WISE and the SSS, relationships don't come first; work does. If Yuri found out, could he still love me? Would he still look at his (now-official) wife the same way again?

Something tells me if I told him, the only thing I'd receive from him is a bullet in my head. But I guess that's a story for later, huh?

Parts: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, current part, nine, ten (to be continued when Spy x Family has more Yuri content!)

Want more Yuri content? Check out these headcannons and one shots!

Yuri Briar x Sick! Fem! Reader

Slightly mean! Yuri Briar x Fem! Reader

Yuri Briar x Fem! Reader headcannons + other fandoms!

Have any requests? Check my masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist (Please request, I have too much free time and too little fics).

96 notes · View notes

canonizzyhours · 15 days

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@ 342

i would have a much easier time with letting bad takes slide if izzy fans didn’t also—

a) harass cast and crew (spewing vitriol en masse at david jenkins on twitter for killing izzy, DMing gypsy taylor to call her a psycho etc)

b) infantilize con o’neill by insisting that he’s heartbroken/angry that his character was killed off and he’s just being SO POLITE/BRAVE ABOUT IT (because everyone in the canyon is a body language expert and they just know him so well they can tell he’s hurting)

c) come into my mentions and admonish me for “stirring the pot” ie posting rants about the canyon UNTAGGED to my own blog that nobody reads

d) tolerate/defend/protect a known sexual abuser in their community (and demand proof from victims of the severity of their abuse so they could decide if it was serious enough to even care about)

e) engage with a racist artist who made edward an unapologetic domestic abuser of izzy in their comic before s2 even aired, who also harassed other fans for outing aforementioned sexual abuser (who they vouched for)

f) extend more grace and humanity to izzy hands, a fictional white man, than to the actual flesh-and-blood human beings who worked on the show (“I’m glad the show was cancelled because they ruined my favorite characters”—meanwhile lots of queer POC are out of a job and you’re celebrating that)

g) call jes tom a “fucking idiot” for saying ed’s rejection of his leathers a trans allegory (which was a scene that he wrote that was informed by his own experiences as a trans person)

h) enable eachother to behave poorly because “there’s no right or wrong way to grieve” (I guess a fictional character death on a tv show you never really liked is ample justification for the mistreatment of people around you, even six months after the show ended?)

“gentlebeardies” largely want to be left alone but izzy fans NEED to be morally correct, and they NEED to be victims. they need to reinsert themselves into the discourse day-in and day-out but they also need to be handled with kid’s gloves because if their feelings get hurt or they experience any level of discomfort then they just HAVE to fight back.

sometimes I think the canyon so vehemently denies that izzy is abusive/manipulative and an antagonist (at least in season 1, less so in season 2) because they cannot (or will not) reckon with their own capacity for harm. it’s much easier to weaponize your identity to deflect any criticism at all, in good faith or otherwise.

#354.