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#mechanic!sirius black
morwap · 2 years
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𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐖𝐀𝐘
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sub!mechanic!sirius black x dom!fem!reader | mini fic | NAV |also neighbor!sirius, muggle and modern au, talk about family issues, unprotected sex, p in v, car sex, mention of getting drunk, handjob, nipple sucking, creampie
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closing your eyes in slight annoyance as you heard rock music start playing, knowing instantly that sirius black was outside and about to work on a car or motorcycle or anything with a fucking motor.
this was a normal thing durning spring and summer and the sweet old couple seemed to enjoy it, the nice lady attending to her garden if she was feeling well or sitting on the porch with their cat and hands full of yarn while listening to sirius’ music and watching him work on vehicles, always saying it reminded her of her son that moved away years ago.
her husband would come out and enjoy sirius’ music as well and talk about how he was in a band back in his day and would tell him how he had a good taste in music then they’d talk about parts and the different models of things before the old man would get ready to pick up lunch for him and his wife then come back and they’d eat and go inside to watch tv.
your kitchen window gave you a premium view of sirius, which meant when sirius decided to take off his shirt it was the only thing you saw when looking out the window, and you knew he knew that it was basically your only view and sometimes you thought he just took it off to tease you, you knew it wasn’t just a coincidence when youd look out the window and were met with his chest and vline, he’d have this smirk on his face that made you just shake your head and go back to what you were doing.
scrubbing the last of your dishes then putting them out to dry, glancing out the window and watching sirius work on a car that you assume was one of his buddies since it didnt look like something sirius would drive.
drying your hands before grabbing your bag and the present you had wrapped for your niece’s birthday party that started in about an hour.
grabbing your keys and walking out of your house then locking your door.
your car had been acting up and you honestly hadn’t had the time to worry too much about it, hoping to make some time in your schedule to ask sirius to take a look or take it to the shop but it kept slipping from your mind when you did have the time.
“where you going?”
you could barely hear it over his music, turning towards sirius while he wiped grease off his hands with an old rag and leaned against the car he was working on. squinting your eyes a bit from the harsh sunlight, noticing how hot it actually was without the cool ac being blasted.
“a little girls birthday party” you yelled over the music and lifted the present a bit to show it off.
“princess themed?” he asked as he looked over the wrapping paper.
“yeah, but she fucking hates princesses, more into my little pony” you sighed, sitting the present on top of your car so your arm could stop straining.
“why not get her something my little pony?” sirius asked tilting his head a bit and furrowing his brows.
“then be screamed at that i ‘ruined her birthday party’ by her mom? i dont think so, plus-“ you held up your finger then dug through your bag.
pulling out a gift bag and then showing him the my little pony’s that were inside. “-the wrapped gift is just a little set thing with accessories” you laughed and put it back into your bag. sirius laughed too.
you knew sirius would understand since you both bonded on family troubles and issues, the first time he spoke to you, you were on a call with your mother and held up your finger to tell him to wait one minute then the screaming started, taking your phone away from your ear and you could hear her loud and clear and so could sirius.
she was going on and on about how much of a “disappointment” you were, how not going to college ruined your life and how you needed to get your shit together and find someone to settle down with and that your sister finished college and gave her a grand baby while you did jack shit but work at a stupid library and get drunk and barely call anymore.
hanging up on her mid sentence and throwing your phone onto the chair next to you. you remembered sirius laughing and telling you how his mother was the same and he had almost the same phone call when he was packing up his things to move out here.
“but probably gonna get bitched at anyways but i mean the kid tells me im her favorite aunt so” you laughed with a shrug, sighing and looking at the time on your phone. “i gotta go, see you later maybe or maybe not with my head attached” you quipped and walked the rest of the little way to your car and put the present in the backseat before getting in the drivers seat.
your car started up just fine which surprised you since yesterday you had to try like three times before it finally started up. putting it into reverse and checking your mirrors and backing out of the little driveway you had, waving at sirius before going down the road.
not even ten minutes down the road your phone was ringing, your sisters number going across your phone instantly making you roll your eyes and groan before hitting answer.
her house was 45 minutes away and she was already asking where you were at and how close you were, even though before you finished up your dishes, you told her that you had somethings to do before you left and it would be 30 minutes before you even left your house.
hanging up on her mid sentence, hoping she’ll buy that you pasted a dead zone and your phone dropped the call. letting your phone fall into the passenger seat before you started messing with the radio, searching for something that wasn’t static.
the roads were weirdly empty but you didnt mind, not having someone driving super slow in front of you or someone being on your ass was great and you were enjoying it that was until your car started making a weird noise and starting to slow down and sputter.
“oh no-no-no-no” you muttered, slowing down and trying to pull to the side of the road before your car gave out all the way. luckily you made it off the road and into a little turnaround spot safely before your car officially gave out.
resting your forehead on your steering wheel, sighing as you were already going to be bitched at by your sister for getting her kid something she actually wants and now being late. you knew you should’ve just said you were sick and not go to the party but you couldn’t say no to your niece asking if you were coming to her party.
grabbing your phone and searching for sirius’ number, almost panicking when you skipped over it a few times but finally seeing it. holding the phone to your ear and listening to it ring hoping he would pick up.
you were startled when sirius picked up, cutting him off almost immediately “hey! sirius i um, i didn’t know who else to call…my car is like fucked up and i’m on the side of the road. i was just wondering if you could come look at it or at least give me a ride back to my house?” you asked with a breathy laugh.
sirius’ laugh made you smile and relax in your seat, him reassuring you that he’d come and fix your car and if worse comes to worse drive you home and leave your car there for the night. you told him where you were and he thankfully knew where that was at.
telling you he would be on his way directly and you thanked him until you hung up your phone. tossing your phone back into the passenger seat, taking your keys out of the ignition.
as you waited for sirius, you started cleaning your car up. napkins, empty water bottles, your name tag, a press on nail that popped off and almost caused you to hit a book donation bin that was beside your car at the time.
soon enough you heard a vehicle, turning to see if it was sirius or not and thankfully it was him. sirius pulled in front of your car. watching him get out, his hair half up and half down and shirtless with jeans on.
shirtless. now becoming well aware of how your jean shorts were putting sweet pressure on your clit, only getting worse when you moved your hips while he was walking up to your car. pressing your lips together as the seam rubbed against you, knowing you needed to stop this now, you opened your door and go out of your car, your cunt aching from the loss.
“so, whats going on?” sirius asked, you sighed and tried to think of everything your car has been doing.
telling him everything and absolutely everything that your car has done for the past 4 months, not leaving anything out even though you were a little embarrassed to have him come and help but what else are friends for.
sirius listened carefully and nodded along as you rambled about all the sounds and sputtering it was doing.
“pop your hood and ill take a look” sirius instructed, wetting his lips as he walked to the front of your car as you got in and unlocked the hood for him.
you watched sirius take a quick glance, then getting a closer look before going to his truck to get his things.
the harsh seam was back at your clit, pressing in just the right spot as you watched sirius work on your car. you couldn’t help but wonder when sirius got so hot, its been three years since he moved in and you were just seeing it now? he’s always been attractive but now felt different.
you watched sirius smirk which caused you to look away from him, fuck, you were staring and his smirk gave away that he had caught you.
an hour passed and you two made small talk about your car and how long you’ve had it, relaxing in your seat as he worked his magic with your car and made some flirty jokes creating a thick tension.
“here let me try to start it” sirius said, wiping his hands off on a rag he had as he walked to the drivers side. you moved everything that was in the passenger seat to the floor except for your phone then moved over your console and into the seat. sirius got in with a laugh after watching you.
you handed him the keys and he took them from you, making sure to brush your hands together as he took them. putting them into the ignition and starting your car up perfectly.
tossing your head back with a smile mumbling a thank you as you felt the cars ac hit you. turning your head and making eye contact with sirius who was watching you. not needing to communicate as his eyes went from yours to your lips then your cleavage then back to your eyes.
before you knew it his mouth was on yours, rough and needy, your hand going to his hair and his went to your waist. “backseat?” sirius mumbled into the kiss, you pulled away and nodded with a breathless “yeah”
basically racing to the backseat, you both detangled from each other and you opened your door got out while sirius managed to squeeze through the middle, getting to the backseat before you.
sirius was already undoing his jeans, you looked around to make sure no one was coming before you started to take off your shorts outside the car to save you two the awkward and hard clothing removal if you both were in the car.
getting in and tossing your shorts into the passenger seat, sirius was already pulling you to get on top of him, your hand reached down to his cock, pumping him as you got situated on his lap. sirius let out a low moan as his fingers dug into your thighs.
your mouth went his neck, licking and sucking on his soft skin, teasing at times with your teeth. leaving some hickeys on him as his hands moved from your thighs to your ass, gripping and massaging the fat in his hands while your hand pleasured him.
“i was— i was so excited when you called, i almost didnt answer because i thought it was an accident” sirius said, moaning in the middle of his sentence as he leaned his head back so you had more of his neck to suck on.
laughing against him, “you got a crush on me sirius?” you teased and focused your movements on his tip making him whimper.
“i guess so” he teased back, grinding a bit into your hand.
taking your mouth off him and sitting back a bit, moving your underwear to the side and leaning up as much as you could while you lined him up with your cunt. knowing it would probably be a bit uncomfortable since you weren’t stretched first but you wanted him in you now, plus you were wet from the earlier stimulation from your jeans so it wouldn’t be too bad.
moving down onto his cock, looking up then closing your eyes as you were taking him. sirius watched intensely, drowning in the pleasure your cunt was giving him but still noticing that you were tense and the slight discomfort on your face.
sirius’ hand came to rub circles on your clit, “relax, no need to rush” he whispered. relaxing and taking him deeper and deeper til you had all of him in you.
starting to grind and clench around him as he continued to play with your clit. his mouth now going to your neck, leaving sloppy kisses on your skin.
moans and whines slipping past your lips as your arms wrapped around sirius and you fingers threaded through his hair. sirius’ other hand pulled your tank top down and moved your boob out of the cup of your bra so he could suck on your nipple.
“fuck, you feel so good” sirius moaned with your nipple in his mouth. grinding faster and harder as every swirl of his fingers made the coil in your stomach tighten more every passing second.
“i should’ve known you were always taking your shirt off in front of my window to be a tease, i considered it for a while but didnt want to call you out” you teased, glancing down at him as he looked up at you and left your nipple and leaned up to kiss you.
tongues gliding over each other and moaning into each other’s mouths before he pulled away.
“cant blame me for just wanting your attention. should’ve came outside and put me in my place, i dont mind a bit of humiliation” sirius said, his fingers moving faster on your clit.
your phone started ringing, you debated on letting it go to voicemail but knowing if it was someone in your family they’d at least call five more times before even thinking about leaving a voicemail.
you removed your hands from him and slowed your moved so you could reach your phone, sirius furrowed his brows when you grabbed your phone and started going back to the pace you set before.
“she’ll just keep calling, keep quiet okay?” you said, and sirius nodded and went to move his hand from your clit only to be stopped by your hand and moving it back to your clit, getting the message that you didnt want to slow down even if you had to take a phone call. moving his fingers fast on you as you got back into the rhythm.
sirius’ mouth went back to your nipple as you answered the call.
“where the fuck are you?” you sister spat harshly over the phone, “are you even still coming?” she asked as you pulled the phone away from your ear to catch your breath.
bringing it back, “im on my way, my car broke down on the side of the road and i just got it working again” you sighed, and you heard her scoff over the phone, making you roll your eyes.
“try to hurry up, i knew you would be late-“ she started rambling but you couldn’t concentrate as sirius started bucking up into you and leaned up to your ear whining and whimpering.
“m’gonna cum- m’gonna cum” he whimpered in your ear as he tried to get you as close as he was.
muting yourself and tossing your phone beside him, “cum for me” you ordered, clenching around him and feeling as he was literally throbbing inside you.
squeezing his eyes shut as breathy moans left him, focusing on chasing his orgasm and trying to get you to as well.
sirius’ stilled but you kept moving, feeling him give one last thrust up into you before a warm feeling flooded within you, sirius gripped the edge of the seat as he came inside you, his head spinning as you kept moving.
you were close and you were so glad his fingers never left your clit even when he was cumming, his finger tips still doing fast, rough, circles on you drawing you closer and closer.
“im almost there sirius” you told him, knowing it was probably over stimulating for him for you to keep going. feeling his cock twitch and his whimpers flow from his mouth freely as he rested his head on your shoulder.
your cunt clenching around him as the coil snapped, and you basically fell into him as you came. contracting around him as your eyes rolled back and his name rolled off your tongue.
whining as you quickly reached down and moved his fingers away from your clit, breathing heavily as you reached over for your phone and unmuting yourself.
“hello? hello?-“
“ill be there when i get there” you said and hung up, tossing your phone back down.
sirius breathed into your neck as he calmed down, you could feel his eye lashes flutter against your neck.
you lifted up, and sirius got the message and pulled out the best he could, once his softening cock was out of you he watched as you moved your underwear back, almost giddy that you were keeping his cum in you. moving himself back into his boxers and jeans, knowing he would probably be messy until he got into his truck.
getting off his lap and sitting next to him, reaching up and into the passenger seat for your shorts. pulling them up and onto you without struggling too much then fixing yourself back into your bra and tank top.
“i have napkins if you wanna use them” sirius offered, you smiled but declined.
“i’ll clean up when i get to my sisters, her house isnt too far from here” you said, taking your phone and putting it in the passenger seat.
“dinner tonight? ill only stay at my sisters for like an hour and a half so like does 8:30 sound good?” you asked, looking over at him. red tinted his cheeks as he nodded.
“okay, i’ll pick up take out on my way home” you said and stretched a bit before you both get out of your car.
walking to the drivers side as sirius opened your door for you, you smiled and asked if he still likes the one restaurant that was by the Walgreen’s near your guys houses and listed his order, only knowing it from how many times the delivery person had dropped it off at your house instead of his.
sirius seem shocked that you knew it from memory by now, not thinking it had happened that many times to remember.
soon you both said your goodbyes and went your own ways, both excited to meet up later.
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wolvesandshine · 2 months
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When Sirius is comfortable around someone he becomes silent - preferring to exist in his own thoughts and just relax for a bit. When Regulus is comfortable around someone he never shuts up - he loves talking about anything and everything in between
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likeprongstostars · 6 months
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i will single handedly fix the black brothers relationship even if it's the last thing I do
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bbloodyashes · 4 months
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Somebody PLEASEE I’m begging, draw fanart of Motorcross Racer Sirius, and mechanic Remus.
It’s such a them thing!
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anizscheri · 10 months
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Wolfstar raising Harry, because I'm delusional and in need of Serotonin 🖤
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my-castles-crumbling · 5 months
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*clears throat*
I'd like to thank my mother, for traumatizing me enough to give me a dark sense of humor and unhealthy and obsessive coping skills.
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regulusblqck123 · 4 days
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I’m starting to believe that Spotify knows me better than actual people do.
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Songs just connect in ways people cannot.
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bellaxisworld · 3 months
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went through my ao3 history & added up my word counts from all the fics i read in 2023! it added up to 19 million words! and i started reading in july. which means i read 19mil words of marauders fanfic in 6 months.
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up-to-some-good · 1 year
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A bit late (and long. I’m not great at the ‘micro’ part), but written for @wolfstarmicrofic – November 15th Braid
Sirius Black had always had a thing about his hair. Since his first year in Hogwarts, he had been obsessed. Letting it grow out was his first sign of rebellion against his parents, and he made sure that his long locks were well-cared for – ordering expensive shampoos and other hair products by owl with his pocket money. Every year, he’d arrive at school with short hair and leave with it grown past his collarbones.
It wasn’t just about the length, though. He was constantly playing with it and find new ways to style it – pinning it up with his wand and stealing hair ties from Lily Evans. At one point, any of the other marauders could be found with hair ties along their wrist just in case Sirius needed one.
He also loved it when other people played with his hair. He’d sit on the common room sofas and let James run his hands through the inky locks while they studied or plant himself in front of Marlene to let her create intricate hairstyles whenever she was bored. When he woke up shaking from nightmares, the only thing that would calm him was lying on Remus’s chest as his boyfriend stroked his hair.
When Harry was born, he didn’t seem to mind sticky fingers in his hair, and even smiled when the toddler pulled his hair with his strong grip.
It changed one day, about three months after Harry’s first birthday. There was a battle. Sirius and Remus were in the field, flanked by not enough backup and barely keeping track of each other. Remus was distracted, fighting two Death Eaters and not watching his boyfriend as closely as he’d like. He glanced back at Sirius, having finally overcome his enemies, and gave him a brief encouraging smile. In the second Sirius smiled back, everything changed. Bellatrix moved quickly, too quickly for Remus to shout a warning, and yanked Sirius back by his hair.
Remus hadn’t been able to run to him. He’d been pulled back into battle and lost track of his partner. They won the battle, and Sirius survived despite his cousin’s torture, but the day was a turning point.
Sirius started to flinch away from anyone touching his hair. He moved away if Remus brushed it out of his eyes or ran his fingers through it as they lay in bed. When they visited the Potters’ hideout, he made sure it was tied up, out of Harry’s reach, so even the toddler couldn’t touch him.
Bellatrix hadn’t left any scars on his body, but he seemed to be living in a constant state of anxiety. He was barely sleeping, plagued by nightmares and unable to get back to sleep.
Remus hoped it would get better with time, but it only seemed to get worse. One week, after Sirius stopped washing his hair, now incapable of touching it himself without flinching, Remus gave up waiting and decided to take some action.
“Sirius, love?”
“Mmhmm?” Sirius was curled up in an armchair, reading one of Remus’s novels.
“Can I wash your hair for you?” Remus offered as gently as he could.
Immediately, his boyfriend tensed up, closing his eyes, and taking a few deep breaths.
“I promise I’ll be gentle, Pads,” Remus continued. “I just want you to feel better, and I know you just got a new bottle of that lavender shampoo you love.”
It took a few moments, but eventually Sirius nodded. Slowly, Remus got up and took his hand, leading him to the bathroom. He ran a small sink of water and fetched a chair from their bedroom to make sure Sirius would be comfortable.
At first Sirius, sat stiffly with his head in the sink, taking incredibly slow breaths and squeezing his eyes shut. Remus didn’t talk, didn’t comment, just carefully massaged the shampoo through the long locks. As the smell of lavender began to fill the room, Sirius began to relax, his shoulders creeping down from their place at his ears and his face smoothing into a calm expression.
When they were done, Remus, wrapped Sirius’s hair in a towel and led him back to the lounge. He sat on the couch, Sirius on the floor between his legs, and slowly unwrapped his hair, gently drying his hair with the towel as he went.
When Sirius’s hair was fully down and mostly dry, he began to braid the long locks, taking care to disentangle any knots as gently as possible. He tied off the end of the braid with the hair tie he had on his wrist before pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s hair.
Sirius released a heavy sigh and leaned back against Remus’s legs, tilting his head until he was resting on Remus’s lap, his closed eyes facing the ceiling. There were tear tracks along his cheeks, which he allowed Remus to wipe away, leaning into the touch in a way he hadn’t for a few weeks.
“Thank you, my love,” he whispered.
Remus didn’t answer immediately, pressing a kiss to Sirius’s forehead before speaking into his skin.
“No need to thank me, Pads. I love you, and I want you to be okay.”
“How could I be anything else when I have you?” Sirius whispered back. “I love you too.”
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starchaserdreams · 8 months
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Regulus & Sirius, Grimmauld Place library in the summer, angst, mutual frustration
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Regulus hadn’t taken more than one step into the library before he was accosted with sound. 
“You monster! You absolute monster!”
He turned to the speaker - his brother Sirius - and rolled his eyes. 
“Don’t be dramatic, don’t turn this into something it isn’t. It doesn’t have to be a fight.”
Sirius looked livid, even moreso having been told to calm down.
“You took away my voice! After everything that we’ve been through together, you threw it all away!
“I did nothing of the sort,” Regulus said, continuing his walk through their house’s stately library until he’d found his usual armchair. “You can stop being so melodramatic.”
Sirius didn’t back down, if anything he stepped closer.
“You sold me out! You told mother what I was planning to do!”
“I didn’t take away your chance to make whatever mistakes you’re planning on, I just gave her a warning.”
“Some brother you are,” Sirius said with a scoff.
Regulus pulled his book out of his bag and opened it, pointedly ignoring his brother. 
“You sell me out every time,” Sirius went on. 
Regulus closed his book and turned his eyes on Sirius, glaring intensely. 
“And you don’t? Your crusade to fight back hasn’t gotten me caught up in it every time?
“That’s not fair,” Sirius said quickly.
“Is it though?” Regulus asked with a raised eyebrow. He kept his voice down, but it was icy. “They think I’m on your level. I get in just as much trouble as you do, and I’m never involved. For once I just had to keep myself out of it. I don’t deserve to get punished for you acting out.”
Sirius’ eyes widened. 
“We could stand united against them. We could-”
“You don’t understand,” Regulus said, “I don’t want to. I want to keep my head down until I graduate.”
Sirius shook his head and finally sat down in the next chair over. 
“I don’t understand you. I know you don’t like anything you say.”
Regulus nodded, not bothering to hide it.
“Yes, and the second I graduate I’m out of here forever. But I’m not causing trouble for myself before that. And you aren’t causing it for me either.”
Sirius gaped at him. 
“It doesn’t bother you? Acting like you like them and the things they say?”
Regulus shrugged. 
“It doesn’t matter if it bothers me. We have different strategies for managing in life, okay? Just keep me clear of yours.”
Sirius nodded, looking numb. 
“I can’t believe you actually admitted it. You hate them too.”
“I do,” Regulus agreed, “but I need you to let me live my life. Get yourself in trouble, I don’t care. But let me survive my way.” He looked carefully at Sirius. “Maybe I’ll see you on the other side. Maybe we can get on better then.”
Sirius nodded. 
“Yeah, I hope so.”
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dracosmoons · 3 months
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artist sirius this, actor sirius that, WHAT ABOUT MECHANIC SIRIUS. I NEED HER DESPERATELY
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lord-save-me · 10 months
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I'd like to thank my parents for helping me come up with fanfic ideas involving Walburga and Orion
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brandileigh2003 · 8 months
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New fic alert!
A Matter of Loyalty
Summary:
The sounds of shouting, slamming doors and tears had become the soundtrack of their flat. After Benjy went missing and Remus came home covered in blood, most of it his, but some of it not; Sirius couldn’t do it anymore. When the thought crossed his mind that he loved Remus even if he killed Benjy, Sirius knew that while it was true, it was also too dangerous to be under the same roof.
For @wolfstarbingo2023 prompt: coping mechanisms
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padfootastic · 2 years
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didn’t realise it was sirius & harry saturday already but uh. lucky i had this eh?
“Freaks should neither be seen nor heard.”
Sirius goes deathly still. Surely he didn’t—?
One look at his godson, who was pouring himself a glass of milk without having quite realised what he’d just said, and it was clear he did.
He did hear that correct. His godson did just refer to himself as a freak, without batting an eyelid.
It was a simple question. Sirius was slumped over the kitchen table, eyes half-shut. Caught up in thoughts of what was, what could’ve been—as he was wont to do these. It was a bloody miserable morning, but he was used to that by now.
Well, used to is a bit optimistic. He’s resigned to it.
He kept thinking about that—how the mighty fall. Used to be that he’d never bowed down to anyone, ever (except james. but james was different. james was his, he was home, and it was never like that with him) and look at him now. Can’t step out of the room without logging it in.
Bloody. Miserable.
Until he heard the clang of a glass and the thud of a jug being set down on the table and jerks himself out of his thoughts and his chair.
He stared, wide eyed, at Harry who was calmly standing on the other end of the table from him.
“When did you get in here?” Sirius croaked, throat exceptionally dry.
“It’s been a couple minutes,” Harry shrugged. But how is that—Surely, Sirius would’ve heard him? He wasn’t that out of it, and his senses had always been sharp regardless of where his thoughts were wandering. They’d had to be.
“How did I not hear that?” Sirius said, half to himself. “Teenage boys are notoriously loud.”
That’s when he’d said it. That- that freaks shouldn’t be heard or seen.
And now Sirius is here, frozen in his half slumped position, eyes stuck on the lithe form of his godson. Harry was now humming to himself, an old Muggle number he’d heard on the radio before.
It was incongruent—his words from a second ago were still ringing in Sirius’ ears, but it was slowly being drowned out by the sound of Harry’s humming, the feel of blood rushing in his ears, his magic swirling around him in the beginnings of outrage.
“Harry,” Sirius says, voice carefully controlled. James had called it the ‘Black Siren’ because he thought himself funny. That, and it was a distinctive tone, spread out across generations of Blacks. For all that Sirius professed to be different, at the end of the day, he was cut from the same cloth, was he not?
“Hm?” is the absent response. His godson has moved on to mixing in a scoop of chocolate malt into his glass of milk.
“What was that?”
“What was what?” The clink of spoon against glass. Harry’s face looks unusually well rested, and his hair is in some form of order for once. He looks good—healthy. There’s a small smile on his face as he looks down at his drink. Sirius almost doesn’t want to bring this up. He knows it will ruin the mood, possibly even distance Harry from him (Sirius was the one adult in this place who hadn’t gotten the grumpy teen attitude until now. He quite wanted to keep it that way), but he couldn’t let that stop him either.
Not when his hands were clenched tight enough to draw blood. Not when a dull throb had started behind his eyes, one that hadn’t been there until now.
“Freak should neither be seen nor heard,” he repeats slowly. His gaze is intent on his godson and he can pinpoint the exact second the penny drops. Harry’s fingers spasm around the glass in his hand, and his eyes widen in—fear? panic? horror? A combination of all three?
Sirius wouldn’t be surprised. But he also can’t dwell on it—doesn’t want to think about his godson looking at him with such abject terror. He needs answers now, and he knows if he let himself get swept away by wide, green eyes then he would never get them.
Harry’s mouth opened and closed in rapid succession—Sirius can see the whirlwind of thoughts in his eyes and before Harry can try and doge this, make an excuse to leave or find the words to rage at him, all very plausible options, Sirius cuts in.
“Please Harry, you can’t—how could I let something like go?” His voice is desperate, close to breaking, and in any other instance he’d be mortified.
Harry’s head was bowed, fingers pressed white against his mug. Sirius fought the urge to keep babbling, say something—anything to fill the horrible silence.
“If I said I don’t want to talk about it?” Harry said, voice shaky, like he was trying his best to hold on.
Sirius inhaled. This was—he had to tread carefully here. Trampling all over Harry’s agency, especially after a question like that—where he sounded resigned, like he wasn’t expecting a proper answer—wasn’t something he wanted to do, not even in his quest to find out what had happened to his godson and who had the audacity to say something like that to him. Not just say, no, but make him believe it because that kind of instinctive reply—not even realising what came out of his mouth, that wasn’t an accident. That spoke to something deeper than words thrown around. It was continued conditioning.
“I would…try my best to respect that,” is what Sirius said, though it’s forcefully pulled out of him. “But Harry, you’re…you’re my kid, I don’t know how I can just let it go like that. That came from somewhere.”
“Well, of course it did,” Harry said, mouth twisting in a farce of a smile. “Just because I didn’t realise I slipped doesn’t mean it was a mistake.”
“What—“
“That’s what happens when you’re taught one thing for most of your life, Sirius.”
Sirius deliberately unclenched his hands and stretched his fingers out on the table, ignoring the sting from the reddened, torn skin in the center of his palm.
“The Dursleys?” he asked in a tone that could pass for casual, like he was asking after the weather. It was everything else about him that gave him away. The taut back, the rigid shoulders, the crackling of ozone.
“You’re still a fugitive, you know, Sirius,” Harry said, leaning forward to look at his face. Interestingly, he didn’t sound reproving, merely stating a fact.
“Maybe it’s time I earned that title?”
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elvendorx · 1 year
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Quick question if you don’t mind. It’s something me and my friends have been discussing and I feel like you would have a good answer for this.
After Sirius was locked up in Grimmauld Place did he become an alcoholic? 
Hello, of course I don't mind! <3
Alcoholic in the most extreme sense of the word, no. But there's absolutely a case for some kind of dependence on alcohol. The OotP quote (as I'm sure you know since you've discussed it) is:
"[Sirius] was unshaven and still in his day clothes; there was also a slightly Mundungus-like whiff of stale drink about him"
This is the early hours of the morning, after Harry has had the dream about Arthur and the snake and after he has told Dumbledore. Alcohol lingers for a few hours/overnight, so maybe Sirius just drinks in the evenings - the idea of there being a "whiff" about him suggests it's more than a small amount, so maybe he drinks to get to sleep - I think that the whys are quite open to interpretation, but we know that he does drink.
Sirius drinks at other times in OotP and is shown to handle it normally - I feel Harry would notice something truly concerning, and people like to say how oblivious Harry is (usually to imply that by absence of Harry noticing certain interactions that they definitely exist, which is a shaky way to approach literature, but anyway) but I generally disagree, and I strongly disagree that Harry is oblivious or ignorant when it comes to Sirius. Harry notices the smell of "stale drink" here, and I think he would again if it were a significant issue.
Also, despite his imprisonment and trauma, Sirius is still very lucid and very sharp - one of Sirius’ underrated qualities imo is how he observes so much about people and their interactions and dynamics, about people’s personalities, and I think this is something that would be affected by alcoholism. In GoF he remembers people and connections well despite years passing - he remembers Bertha Jorkins, in OotP he has quite a balanced opinion of Mundungus whereas Molly just writes him off. I don't think we see anything that suggests that Sirius is deeply affected by drinking in a negative way.
When Harry arrives at Grimmauld Place, he notices the kitchen:
"littered with rolls of parchment, goblets, empty wine bottles, and a heap of what appeared to be rags"
after the Order meeting, so drinking is definitely a normalised social activity within the Order - Remus is drinking wine later in the chapter, so it could just be the result of an Order meeting and the typical drinking that happens there.
I think that Sirius’ frustration at being housebound comes out more in his shortness with people, his moodiness, rather than through visible intoxication. Frustration at being cooped up comes out in his altercation with Snape, which is triggered because of Snape's direct remark about it. Sirius doesn't like Snape anyway but it's propelled by Snape verbalising Sirius' own frustrations and insecurities about his situation.
In turn though, Sirius shows a visible reaction but also restraint when Fred does essentially the same thing as Snape:
“The little color remaining in Sirius’s face drained from it. He looked for a moment as though he would quite like to hit Fred, but when he spoke, it was in a voice of determined calm.”
which attests to Sirius' capacity for self-control and restraint when necessary, and we know that Sirius is deeply impulsive and willing to give in to his impulses - the prank, going after Peter, the escape from Azkaban, the willingness to murder Peter, etc.
Harry is the key to my leaning away from yes, or away from a complete dependence on alcohol. Sirius is devoted to Harry. Harry is his focus, I very much doubt that Sirius would have stayed put in Grimmauld Place if it weren't for Harry and I don't think he'd drink to excess in a way that would compromise his ability to spring into action for Harry. We see him do that in this instance (for Harry and the Weasleys) when he takes them all in and gives them Christmas, and we see it when he goes to the Ministry of Magic after hearing Harry was there.
Sirius is very skilled in the fight at the Ministry of Magic -
"Sirius hurtled out of nowhere, rammed Dolohov with his shoulder, and sent him flying out of the way"
and
"Now Sirius and Dolohov were dueling, their wands flashing like swords, sparks flying from their wand tips"
and
"“Nice one!” shouted Sirius, forcing Harry’s head down as a pair of Stunning Spells flew toward them. “Now I want you to get out of —”"
He's defending himself and Harry and he gives Harry instructions which show him reading the fight well even as he's participating in it - after years of inexperience and confinement, so this just amplifies Sirius' skill and ability as a wizard which imo would absolutely be compromised if he was a full-blown alcoholic.
Addiction isn't a simple set of symptoms that I feel I can check off and say "yes, because..." or "no, because..." and generalise because addiction and increased tolerance varies a lot.
Do I think that Sirius probably didn’t look after himself too well and unhealthy coping mechanisms? Yes. So might he have been drinking often as a way to numb his feelings, to help himself sleep, out of boredom, out of spite for his family and their remaining wine stock, to lift his mood (among other reasons)? Yes, that's a valid reading and probably the one we're meant to have given that initial quote. 
Is he an alcoholic, or drinking to the extent that he's dramatically affected/weakened by it? No, I don't think he would allow himself to do that because of Harry and we still see him as very obviously capable and lucid.
If you don't mind, let me know what you and your friends thought! :)
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my-castles-crumbling · 8 months
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My mother may be a drug addict but I can’t go more than an hour without talking about my dead gay wizards so who’s the real disappoint of the family?
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