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goblin-enjoyer · 5 months

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Normalize the tf2 mercs as being absolute genetic freaks of nature under the hood. Medic is crazy and we know he gets paid good so he’s probably got lots of bits in his bin if you know what I mean.

Pyro is straight up nonhuman. Pyro is a fire elemental that the Mann brothers have bound to a hazmat suit and medic made a real boy by giving them meat. Not making her a human body mind you, but rather every time he gets damaged, instead of bursting into flames meat forms around the wound and it bleeds instead of letting the inner crea tur out.how? Wizard. Moving on.

Soldier has massive lungs that make him 20% more louder. If he was smarter he could probably echolocate his way around. That or sound attacks idk he eats wizard pills he could have hollow bones for all I know. Sure he has hallow bones now for rocket jumping. Im the one typing I get to make nonsense on the fly.

Medic put pigeon dna in scout and that’s how he makes his trademark milk-like substance. How this happens you may ask? Scout saw medics doves have sex while getting his second Uber heart surgery and said “man I wish I could pick up chicks that well” and medic said “good idea I will help you with this” and then looked at the camera and smirked. The administrator does not spectate medics lab/operation room/dove breeding center anymore. Also scouts immune to radiation due to all the bonk he ingests, though sometimes he does become radioactive sometimes.

We already know that demoman’s body creates alcohol and that he has a ghost eye, but did you know that if you shoot him with some sort of piercing explosive round he will combust into flames. I… I couldn’t really think of anything for demoman I don’t play him as much.

Engineer always wishes he could have kids, but doesn’t want to have sex. That and he removed most of his reproductive/unnecessary/extra/mid organs with machine parts like 30 years ago. So after the events of the games and comics where everyone is happy and junk, he teams up with medic to make himself some half robot half human half whatever dell conagher is at that point at time children. He asks if medic ever want kids he can do the same for him but he declines as at this point in time he has perfected the art of male impregnation.(on various ape parts) dell is a great father and yes I added this part because the whole humanized sentry thing that went around a while ago touched my heart because despite the words of almost every engineer main everywhere I get so attached to the sentries I build that I die a little bit inside every time I die and my buildings get sapped and I have to just watch as my babies get destroyed. I get too attached to my buildings to play engineer

Heavy doesn’t stop growing, similar to that of a reptile. His skin is as thick as a rhinos. He hibernates for a month in summer because I said so. He has accidentally killed/crushed medic before and is now eternally cautious when in bed with him. Medic doesn’t mind, he knows what he’s gotten himself into. Heavy can also talk to birds like a Disney princess. Medic didn’t add any bird parts for this to happen he just was always like this.

Sniper can dislocate every bone in his body and go through cracks that are at least the size of his head. He will use this to show up in the most unexpected places imaginable. Is legally classified as an tardigrade in some places due to his ability to be fine in almost any place (volcano,Arctic,sewer system, a walk in closet so large it took him 5 weeks to get out, space that one time). Can go up to a year without eating (the team found this out at the same time they figured out the space thing). Swallows things whole.

Spy can shift his flesh around to disguise as almost anything, keeps the mass and weight though. Breaths mostly through his skin so he doesn’t cough due to his decrepit lungs. Was hit by a car once. Doesn’t have anything to do with the subject matter of the tf2 mercs being freakish beings with human skin but I just wanted to include it here.

Medic. What isn’t medic? The only thing consistent with his biology is that he can regenerate somehow. He alters his body so much that it is roughly equivalent to 1 tyranid hive fleet and 2,million ork painboys.(the tf2 mercs would be more likely to work for the orks than to ever work for one of the human factions in 40k and I just needed to get that off my chest) This is how he manages to get away with all the things he’s done. Banned from this continent? Just become a new person who’s not banned from that continent and presto you’re good! The laws don’t account for the ship of Theseus!

#midnight brainrot #man I love posting nonsense late at night #tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 heavy #sniper tf2 #scout tf2 #spy tf2 #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 spy #tf2 scout #tf2 pyro #tf2 sniper #tf2 soldier #tf2 demoman #did I tag this right? I’m not good at tagging things

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the-real-list-of-ominous-threats · 2 months

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Happy Valentines Day, someone please take my evil-hot-men brainrot bc these characters are fr ruining my brain. Yes this is a threat, you WILL take my brainrot.

#fuck it i'm tagging this with the guys im thinking of #*deep sigh*#...#albert wesker #jack krauser #strade btd #william afton #jonathan crane #phillip graves #medic tf2 #the list has only gotten worse with time #dear god this is a disaster #the brainrot is real #very unfortunate update:#karl heisenberg

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thetwiggiesttwig · 10 months

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i don't have many tf2 headcanons but i do have this.

#tf2 #soldier tf2 #medic tf2 #the tf2 brainrot is intense rn #posts by twigs

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starlightseraph · 3 months

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ok the number of people skeptical about if my “house md was insane” post is real is concerning and as it is my mission to spread the brainrot hatecrimes md gospel, please watch some or all of the attached videos.

it is simultaneously the heaviest, darkest, most serious show about love and loss and how trauma shapes people and the most unhinged thing you’ll ever experience.

this is a great post about the dichotomy in house.

youtube

#i am BEGGING you to watch this show #if you can do medical imagery #house md #hilson #hate crimes md #hugh laurie #rsl #robert sean leonard #gregory house #james wilson #Youtube #starlightseraph’s brainrot

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crowsisoliver · 22 hours

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My Little Fortress 2

#team fortress 2 #medic tf2 #scout tf2 #tf2 fanart #fanart #spy tf2 #tf2 sniper #tf2 demoman #tf2 #my little pony #MLP #brainrot #traditional art #doodles

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fatfuckingcatstuff · 20 days

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FUCK ME DEAD

SniperTF2 x TeenMerc! Reader

((Year is set in the 2020s))

Tags: Brainrot slang, fluff, platonic relationship, reader consumes tiktok media brainrot and tries to infect sniper

"Fuck Me Dead" is an Australian slang for ffs so please don't misinterpret it as an NSFW fic.

NOT PROOFREAD

Ever since you got the job working as a mercenary for 2 old fucks fighting for a piece of land it's been pretty fun. When you were first offered a position it was equicoval. Why the fuck were they offering a minor a job in a battle-like field? Was this even a legal operation??? Nonetheless, you accepted the offer.

After a good few months of working with your team, you've managed to form a bond with most of them. More specifically, Sniper. The Australian raised New Zealander had become your best friend. Or at least to you. Despite being a introverted fuck when it came to people in general you had managed to get on his good side.

You've hung out with him, watch videos on the Internet together. Though he could never understand "what you kids mean these days", he liked spending time with you.

"Sniper." you called out from his door frame.

"Whaddya want you ankle biter." He replied, visibly cleaning his gun after the day's match.

"Do you have skibidi rizz."

He's stunned by your words and turns to look at you concerningly.

"Mate what? Skibidi rizz..?"

"You have a negative canthal tilt and poor features have you tried looksmsxxing or mewing?"

“What the bloody hell is a looksmaxxing???"

"You look like a true autumn lowkey. Wanna be in my OOTD for my GRWM where I show my new Stanley cup I just got?"

".. Wha-"

"Level 5 gyatt rizz LeBron James you are my sunshine my only sunshine tiktok rizz party she ride the dick like a carnival digital circus pomni rose toy edging mewing streak gooner cave is it acoustic? Tiktok shop Ohio sigma tshirt am I deer pretty or bunny pretty. "

At this point you would have already killed the poor soul because what the fuck were any of the words you just spat out at him. Did you cast a spell on him?? You.. you witch???

"Mate did you hit your head." He stares at you horrified and concerned for your mental state.

".... No."

"I think you should go see medic."

#tf2 headcanons #tf2 sniper #tf2 sniper x reader #sniper x reader #team fortress 2 #team fortress 2 fanfiction #tf2 medic #tiktok #the brainrot is real #tiktok brainrot #tf2 x reader #tf2

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hardboiledleggs · 1 year

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Not Sterile, a quick Steddie ficlet

(Tw for blood and mentions of bad injuries, nothing too icky though)

The Harrington’s house looms above a head of dark, curly hair. Eddie jumps, cursing as a bolt of lightning streaks across the sky. He isn’t sure why he feels so jumpy, but something about the house and Buckley’s harried phone call had put him on edge. It isn’t like he’s never been to the house before; every party needs a good dealer. He had just never been without a crowd of drunk teens canoodling the lawn.

He raps his knuckles smartly against the door and steps back, rubbing his foot against the back of his calf and nibbling on the inside of his cheek. The door swings open, and Robin Buckley is silhouetted in the frame, her appearance punctuated by a clap of thunder.

“Hurry, hurry,” she hisses, grasping his wrist and tugging him across the threshold. Her hands are wet, and Eddie gasps as she releases him, revealing the bright red handprint she had left on his arm.

“Jesus, Buckley, is that blood? What the hell are you–“

He’s cut off by a horrible groan. Robin turns away from him and hurries into the house, waving him after her without looking at him. Eddie follows her, trying to ignore the sudden lurching in his stomach. He steps into the spotless kitchen, squinting his eyes against all the white of the counters and the cabinets, and comes to an abrupt halt at the coppery tang that clouds the air. Another piteous moan splits the silence, and Eddie revolves slowly, desperate not to look but unable to keep his eyes away.

The scene before him is gruesome. Buckley kneels on the floor next to a mostly white couch. Mostly white, because there is a steady pool of blood flowing from the body lying atop it. The man on the couch lets out a grunt of pain as Robin laces their fingers together, whispering into his ear and smoothing bronze tufts of blood-soaked hair from his face. Eddie can feel his heart beating in his throat, and he breathes deeply through his mouth as the room begins to spin. He knows that hair.

“What did you bring, Munson? I need something that isn’t a blood thinner, and I need a lot of it.” Buckley doesn’t look at him as he speaks. Eddie shakes his head, trying to kickstart his brain again.

“W-why aren’t you at a hospital, Buckley? We need to call an ambulance, right now!” He’s swaying on his feet. “I don’t have d-drugs for THIS! He needs doctors!”

She looks at Steve Harrington’s bloody form, gnawing at her bottom lip. There is a fire in her eyes that Eddie has never seen. They’ve never been friends, per se, but he has dealt to all the band kids at one point or another, and he’s never seen her look anything but cheerful. The expression on her face right now promises hellfire and destruction.

“We can’t go to a doctor for this. I need help, and you’re it. Just tell me what you brought before I kick your teeth in and take it from you!”

Eddie fumbles in his pockets, yanking out a plastic baggy with shaking fingers. He sinks to his knees, still fighting the dizziness, and tosses the bag to Buckley. His eyes are locked onto the pool of blood that is still creeping along the floor.

“What the hell happened to him?” he whispers. He pulls himself unwillingly across the floor to kneel beside Buckley as she rifles through the bag of pills.

“Do you really want to know?” she murmurs, still not looking at him. “Once I tell you, you’re in this just as much as we are. You can take what I owe you from my bag over there and leave if you want to stay in the dark. Your choice.”

Eddie swallows down the terror that her words evoke. There is something in the air here, like an otherworldly film has settled over his senses. Every breath settles low in his chest like he is filling his lungs with stone. Despite the fear prickling at the base of his spine, his curiosity wins out.

“Tell me.”

Buckley meets his eye, ice blue and chocolate brown meeting in a deadly dance. She nods.

“Fine, I’ll talk while we work. I’ll grab some water, and I need you to figure out how much of this shit we can give him without it being dangerous.”

By the time she kneels down beside him again with a pristine glass of water, Eddie has measured out several hundred milligrams of hydrocodone and lined them up on the arm of the couch. Harrington’s eyelids flutter against the bruises on his cheekbones.

“Hi, Stevie. You ready to take some medicine for me? Can you sit up a little so you can swallow?” Robin’s voice is gentle as she settles herself behind Harrington’s head.

Eddie’s hands flutter uselessly against his knees and she carefully shifts to rest the other man’s head against her thigh. He grabs the glass and shuffles forward until he’s pressed against the couch.

“I measured out enough to send him to Cloud 9 for several hours, but you’ll have to watch him really carefully. I really doubt he’s a habitual pill popper and I’m not sure how he’ll react,” Eddie murmurs. Buckley places a few of the pills on Harrington’s tongue, and Eddie lifts the glass to his blood-spattered lips. When they’ve finished, the man collapses back against the couch with a groan.

“You’m get it out, Robs. Hurrss,” Harrington slurs. His eyes are closed, and his fingers twitch feebly where they’re resting against his chest.

“I will, honey. Just give the medicine some time to work,” Buckley chokes out as she blots at the tears on her cheeks.

Eddie ducks his head, feeling like an intruder into such a pure moment of love and devotion. Harrington sighs, curling in on himself.

Still smoothing the hair from his forehead, Robin turns to Eddie.

“Alright, Munson. You know how weird shit goes down in Hawkins, like, constantly? Well, turns out it’s because the government has been doing super unethical experiments at the Hawkins Lab, and they sorta opened a portal into a demon dimension a few years ago.” She looks at him out of the corner of her eye. “With me so far?”

“Government sucks and opens an interdimensional portal. Chaos ensues,” Eddie intones, fighting back a rising surge of panic.

“Right. Steve here has been helping to fight the bad shit every time it pops up in Hawkins again. This time, it was a giant mind-control monster made out of liquified humans.” She wrinkled her nose. “When we were fighting it, Steve got clawed or bit or some shit, and now we have to get the monster bits inside of him out. We can’t go to the hospital, because it’s going to be really hard to explain why he needs surgery on a wiggly bit of monster flesh in his stomach.”

Eddie cringes away from Harrington’s abdomen. “There’s something alive in there?!”

“It’s probably not alive anymore, but I still need to get it out. Will you help me?”

He shudders. His stomach is roiling, turning over and over and threatening to spill his guts all over the already ruined carpet.

“Help you how? I can’t, I mean, I don’t like blood and flesh and–“ Eddie stops before he pukes. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I just need you to help me hold him down. Even with the pills, this is going to hurt like hell and I can’t have him thrashing around while I’m trying to dig it out. Will you help me, Eddie?” Buckley’s eyes are hard chips of flint in her face.

“I can try, but I…” he trails off. “Are you sure he can’t go to a hospital?”

“I’m sure. Come on, switch places with me. You’re going to have to keep his torso as still as possible, okay?” she says. Eddie nods numbly as he sinks into the couch cushion she had vacated. He’s never touched Steve Harrington before, and his hands tremble as he presses his fingers against the other man’s shoulders. Harrington lets out a small sound of complaint, but some of the pain seems to have been leached from his system.

“He tried to do this himself at first, you know? That’s why it looks so bad. He didn’t want to tell anyone anything was wrong, wanted to take care of it himself. Idiot.” Buckley looks fond and exasperated in equal measure. “Are you ready?”

She’s holding a small knife in one hand and a pair of tweezers in the other. A chill worms its way up his spine, but he tightens his hands over Harrington’s shoulders.

“Make it quick, Buckley. I don’t want to blow chunks over the sterile surgical area.”

She chokes on an unwilling laugh. “Alright, Steve. Are you ready?”

Harrington nods his head dazedly. His fingers fumble against Eddie’s wrist, locking his fingers against Eddie’s. His heart skips a beat, and he tightens his grip around Steve’s frozen fingers.

Robin grits her teeth. She shoves Steve’s shirt up past his ribs, exposing an ugly, festering gash that oozes and pulses with red. Eddie closes his eyes as she lowers the knife. Steve screams.

~~~

Eddie slumps against the ugly plaid wall of Steve Harrington’s bedroom, swearing.

“We didn’t pop a stitch, did we?” he wheezes.

Buckley’s hands flutter over the stark-white cotton bandages they had hastily wrapped around the clumsily-stitched wound.

“No, I think it held. I told you I like embroidery.”

“So not the same, but whatever,” Eddie pants.

“I need to shower and change. Do you mind sitting with him, just for a bit? Then you can leave and I won’t stop you, I swear.”

Eddie waves her toward the door. “I’m in too deep now, Birdie. I’ll watch him, go on.” The exhaustion creasing her features is clear.

He drags the rickety wooden chair from the desk over to the side of the bed and pulls up Harrington’s shirt, checking that the bandages are still in place. The man lets out a small protest as Eddie’s slender fingers dance over the stretch of bandaged flesh that Robin had sliced open.

“Hey, you with me, Harrington?” Eddie murmurs softly.

Steve’s eyes flutter open, dazed. His brow wrinkles as his gaze lands on Eddie.

“What’re you doin’ here, Munson? Robbie is…” he trails off with a wince.

“Buckley’s showering off the monster goop. You know, you seem much cooler now that I know you hunt eldritch horrors beyond my comprehension in your spare time,” Eddie grins weakly, searching for his famous Munson bravado. “I will admit, though, it kinda goes against my personal Munson Doctrine to admit you might actually be a pretty good dude. Fabulous hair and a selfless superhero? Some people really get all the luck.”

The aforementioned superhero frowns again. “She told you? Tha’s dangerous. Government might be… mad.”

“I won’t tell anybody. Do you really think Hawkins’ resident dealer is buddies with “Just Say No” Reagan?” Eddie snorts.

“Still dangerous.” Another sigh. “Why’re you here?”

“I supplied the illicit drugs for your super sterile living room surgery and was too much of a chickenshit to leave without knowing if I accidentally killed you with an overdose,” he shrugs. “Now I’m in your secret monster club, according to Birdie.”

Harrington’s eyes were already slipping shut again. His hand fumbles clumsily across the sheets until it finds Eddie’s wrist.

“Stay? Don’t want… alone.”

He hesitates for only a moment as something stirs in his chest. “Sure thing, princess. I’ll stay.”

Steve’s lips split into a dreamy smile before he slips back into unconsciousness.

~~~

Ah I do love to write these two :) Might continue this if I get any more brain wiggles about it. As always, I have a permanent tag list for all things Steddie I write that you can be added to if you would like, just let me know. Also, if you're sick of my tags, also let me know no hard feelings :) Smooches my friends

Tag list: @brassreign @inmoonywetrust @kyoxyukiforever @spectrum-spectre @vampireinthesun @luna-munson83 @awkwardgravity1 @obsessivlyme @piningapple @steddieassheg0es @gay-stranger-things @tell-me-a-secret-a-nice-one @sunflowers-and-knives @original-cypher

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thegreencarousel · 7 months

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Baptiste can't resist giving Hanzo a kiss; especially when he looked so peaceful after his meditation sessions, and even so when peace is a very rare look for Hanzo.

#bapzo #hanzo x baptiste #hanzo shimada #jean baptiste augustin #overwatch #overwatch 2 #thegreencarousel art #i am so deep in this brainrot #please i need to get these feels out #angsty assassin running from his past and flirty medic also running from his past

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 2 years

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Childe has always been the tough one between the two of you. how could he not be, with his status as the most battle-hungry Fatui Harbinger? despite countless sighs and lectures from you, he continued to sneak into your home at night, covered in bruises and scratches but smiling as bright as the dawn when you emerged with medical supplies. so why, why were you the one now confined to your bed from injuries, having gotten thrown across a field by a particularly irritated mitachurl? you hadn't visited for a few days and Foul Legacy was becoming frantic in Childe's head, urging him to check on you only to find you sitting quietly in your bed, several patches of bandages peeking out under your clothes. Foul Legacy chitters anxiously in Childe's head as he rushes over and takes your hands in his, treating you like glass- which you might as well be, with how delicately and slowly you're moving. you smile and apologize for not coming out to meet him, but Childe simply shakes his head and watches your thumbs gently rub the back of his hands, trying to comfort him even though you're the one in pain. you must've moved wrong, in that next moment, because suddenly you wince. something in Foul Legacy cracks and in a blink he's snatched control over Childe's body, transforming before your eyes to tentatively cup your face in his hands. Foul Legacy's not used to caring for someone- Childe uses him more to slaughter enemies and feel the rush of battle- but he wants to care for you, and does his best to bring you anything you need whether it be food, water, books- and when he's not pampering you he'll snuggle up beside you, purring contently and watching you read. you're taking this rather well for someone who's only seen Foul Legacy a few times, even letting your guard down enough to lay your head on his fluff and fall asleep. or at least, he think you're letting your guard down. for you, there was no guard to begin with. if you ever try to get up before you're healed, Foul Legacy freaks out and gently tugs you back into bed, whimpering frantically. he'll rest his head lightly on your stomach- as long as it doesn't hurt much- and rumble quietly until you fall back asleep, your hand buried in his hair. if you simply insist on going outside for some fresh air, he'll carry you! you fit so perfectly in his arms, after all, and there's no point in straining your already injured body. when you're finally able to walk on your own again, Foul Legacy chirps with such delight you think he might cry. you can't walk very far, but the radiant smile you give him when you stumble into his arms says more than words ever can.

#genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #gi ajax #foul legacy #foul legacy childe #genshin tartaglia #genshin childe #genshin tartagalia #genshin x reader #childe x reader #thought this up because guess whose shoulder and knee are acting up!!#when did i even injure my shoulder.....#i know when i injured my knee but my shoulder???#oh also the reason Foul Legacy knows how to take care of you somewhat is from Childe providing the medical info #you tell him how to do some stuff too but Childe's also very Concerned so he's guiding Foul Legacy through the steps #Childe's internal thoughts are like 'but i'm supposed to be the injured one :((( i don't want YOU to be in pain :((((('#wifi's brainrot #short scenario

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