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#medical student

The surgery side of the surgical rotation is going really well.

The administrative side is a fucking nightmare. I had easier times during my discharge from the military getting people’s attention on my exit paperwork (that also really sucked, but it ultimately had no impact on my life so I was able to just shrug it off).

I didn’t get any scheduling info until the first weekend, after I reached out to another med student (who I could only connect with because I bumped into him in the hallway on Friday). Until this point I’d been emailing the office folks since ~1 week before the rotation began to get this information. Still haven’t gotten anything form them aside from a short platitude, mind you. I ask them for my schedule including conferences, clinic duty, OR, and call obligation. They tell me “you’re with colorectal for 2 weeks (1 week when they actually got off their ass to email me), then thoracic 2 weeks”

No elucidation on ANY OF THOSE OTHER POINTS.

Shit hits the fan for me when one of these obligations, inevitably, falls through the cracks.

So I push it further up the chain. The paperwork I got from the other med student turns out to also be inaccurate, and I email the old director. Dude takes some time out of his day to extend his “sincerest apologies” for the mix up then proceed to victim blame me for the situation. Says I should have advocated for myself more (I did) and that I should remember that clinical staff view education as a “mid tier priority”. Finishes by saying he’s my biggest advocate.

He’s my biggest advocate, but I’m only a mid priority and really should not be bugging him about this - but also advocating for myself more than I already have.

Fuck’s sake - I’m glad he isn’t actually the director anymore.

(Also he had some *really* creepy words about “showing my shining face” during rounds. I need to shower with a brillo pad after having read that line - sounds like something you’d hear in an anti sexual harassment course.)

New director caught wind and put together a welcome meeting for the medical students. Now 2 weeks into the rotation. In a rotation with 4 clinical weeks (covid shortened it).

I don’t have enough four letter words in my vocabulary to adequately express how frustrated I am.

The OR is cool. I really like the OR.

But if this is any indication of how the profession is managed, you can bet your ass I’m giving the field a wide berth.

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I’m working on multiple projects for publication at the moment. Purely manuscript writing at this point.

The first one is an opinion piece written to take contemporary medical education to task for it’s lack of adequate focus on trans and intersex populations. I’m a bit worried that there will be a black mark put on me for attaching my name to it - it’s the sort of thing I could see getting me labeled as a trouble maker. But the way I see it, this is an incredibly important topic and change needs to come to the medical profession from within. If the trans people who are part of this profession don’t speak out, who will?

The second one is a research paper tracking mental health outcomes associated with gender affirming medical care given to trans pediatric populations. While we have the data showing that it is efficacious in reducing the highly disproportionate burden of mental health problems on trans pediatric populations, there has not been any work done to address how long it takes for tangible differences to be seen. Inside of a year, moderate-severe depression and suicidal thoughts are reduced by more than half. I just started writing the discussion section up, but I’m afraid they’re nothing more than the caffeine induced ramblings of a medical student who found some down time during call right now. I’ll have to work to get them cleaned up and shot off to the team writing the paper.

I really feel that this is why I went into medicine on some cosmic scale. I’m in the perfect position to be an advocate for the trans community. I have to embrace it in order to see that the change that the world so desperately needs in order to accept us comes about. Transphobia is built on rigid gender stereotypes and recycled homophobia that hurt so much more than the minority of folks who are trans.

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nov 27 2020: 18/100 days of productivity

i’ve been struggling a little to keep up my motivation but i think i did alright today. i reviewed notes/documents from all topics we covered this week and i zoned out a lot towards the end but did as much as i could and later tonight i’m gonna make eggnog with my flat mate!
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