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Eye can see, 06.2020

The human eye is a fascinating and complicated organ. Our senses, however, perceive only a relatively small part of the world, e.g. the eye responds to electromagnetic radiation only in the wavelenght from 380 to 750 nm. It is also interesting that the image falling on retina is inverted. The brain turns it back.

The twenty-third letter of the Greek alphabet “Psi”, visible in the graphic, is a symbol of psychology, in quantum mechanics it means a wave function, in parapsychology is a common symbol for all paranormal phenomena. It also refers to the Greek myth about Psyche and Eros. Here, turned upside down on the retina, Psi symbolizes the fact, that the world isn’t always as it seems to be to us – there are cognitive bias (most of them we never even realize) and our ignorance of the complex mechanisms of the psyche often drives us, in daily life, into wrong convictions. Sometimes, we make judgments about situations and people too quickly, based on our subjective perception. Learning about our body and mind (types of personality) allows us to avoid some of the mistakes.

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80th day on quarentine.

Let me share something

So this quarentine is gonna impact us in so many differents levels. But i’m sure i’m gonna get out of this quarentine in a better version of myself.

Está cuarentena nos va a impactar en diferentes maneras. Pero estoy segura que saldré de ella siendo una mejor versión de mí misma

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I know, I fucking know, these are the most first world problems. But I’m allowed to have emotions so leave me alone.
These riots + covid 19 have really fucked me up in the dumbest ways possible and i hate it.
Used to love fire. Now, every time I see something on fire, I get anxiety because I think of burning buildings and burning cars.
I already hated crowds, now I see one and start panicking even if I’m not in the damn crowd because I think of the riots.
I’m white [in case you didn’t know] so before, I just didn’t trust cops but now every time I see one or see someone in a lot of gear, I get anxiety because, once again, I think of the riots.
I used to be able to at least somewhat make eye contact or pretend I was making eye contact, now, because I’ve been quarantined for god knows how long, I can’t even pretend to make eye contact and struggle just to look at people’s faces.
I’m hoping that refusing to watch riot videos is going to fix the issues revolving around riots and the issue bc of covid will just naturally fix itself once I get back into the habit of being around strangers but, seriously, what the fuck? Like, I’m so annoyed with myself because I can’t just fucking be.
I can’t just be a normal person, I have to either be always challenging my anxiety or I regress entirely and it’s frustrating and annoying and, right now, nobody irl knows but, what about when all this is over?
What about when life has to go back to normal and I can’t even look my friends in the eyes? When I tense every time I see a cop car? When I’m on edge at Walmart or the mall or the doctor’s office? What then?
They gonna up my meds like they always do? Prescribe me something stronger?
Nobody can promise me a mysterious virus that nobody can control won’t happen again. Nobody can promise me a cop will never decide to target me or a group I’m in. Nobody can promise me a crowd I’m in won’t suddenly start rioting or randomly get tear gassed.
I’m just fucking annoyed with myself because I can’t be normal for one damn second and cope like everyone else is.

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