#medtobe

[acelizystudying]

chem pt.2 & bio pt.3 written A-level exams✅ (pics are just about chem, it was my demon)

#saját #studyblr #lizystudying #myown #medblr #studying #study #lizysinpain #biology #chemistry #chemblr #medtobe #premed

[insidesophiesmind]

29 giugno 2022 mi prendo del tempo per scrivere, anche se, secondo il mio inutilissimo calendario di studio, di tempo in questo momento non ne avrei nemmeno per dormire. sarà che in questi giorni mi sento un po' come il cervo che trovi in mezzo alla strada quando sali in montagna la sera; paralizzato e in grado solamente di fissare i fari dell'auto che lo sta per investire. in questo strano parallelismo in cui io sono una specie di bambi disorientato e l'esame di neuroanatomia è la macchina che sta per prendermi in pieno, riesco solo a cercare di proiettarmi nel futuro e immaginare i danni che mi provocherà questo incidente. spero pochi, anzi, spero di schivarla questa maledetta auto. ma come ho detto, ora sono un cervo paralizzato e se non trovo un modo per muovermi, l'opzione dell'incidente rimarrà la più plausibile. mi era sembrato fin troppo amorevole e sereno il mio rapporto con questo fatidico "primo grande scoglio" al primo semestre. ma dopotutto, continuando con assurde metafore, se l'esame di anatomia fosse una rappresentazione della mia vita, non potevo che aspettarmi che ciò che mi avrebbe fatto passare le peggiori pene dell'inferno sarebbe stato il cervello, ovviamente (e i nervi, mannaggia a loro, anche se nella metafora non li nomino perché non riesco a trovare nulla di così osceno nella mia vita da poter essere paragonato all'agonia di studiare quei maledetti cosi). per darne una pratica dimostrazione; uno degli ultimi messaggi sulla chat con mio papà è un elegantissimo "ma la smetti di farti le pippe?". ecco, penso basti a capire che sforzo immenso possa essere il cervello, sia sui libri che nella vita. non so bene da che parte girarmi, paralizzata dalla vastità della materia, dalla quantità interminabile di argomenti da ripetere, dall'enorme numero di nozioni che non sono ancora nella mia testa anche se ormai sono agli sgoccioli dell'impatto con questa macchina, ma che dico (?), TIR, che sta per investirmi in pieno. in ogni caso, sono qui. e mi prendo del tempo per scrivere, perché innanzi tutto voglio ricorrere al mio sacrosanto diritto al lamento, per citare zerocalcare, ma soprattutto per lasciare una traccia di questo groviglio di confusione nella speranza che presto o tardi mi guarderò indietro, rendendomi conto che in qualche modo quella macchina l'ho schivata. ora, per scaramanzia farò finta di non averlo mai pensato. però mi faccio forza, dai, perché alla fine il milan ha vinto il campionato, quindi anche di fronte alla peggiore delle difficoltà una gioia si trova sempre. per finire, forse lo scopo di questo insieme sconclusionato di parole è ironizzare su un esame che mi sta facendo a dir poco penare, anche perché ad ogni angolo mi ricorda che tutta questa fatica in ogni caso fa parte del contratto che si firma quando si diventa abitanti del pianeta terra. e infatti nessuno legge termini e condizioni, di questo maledetto contratto, perché sulla bilancia pesano sempre di più le cose positive e quindi alla fatica la maggior parte delle volte proprio non ci pensiamo. facciamo che cerchiamo di goderci anche questa fatica? anche no. sarà sempre meglio andare al mare, piuttosto stare esiliati come un eremita a imparare cose con nomi strani che fanno solo pentire di non aver ancora compilato la rinuncia agli studi. la verità è che non c'è nulla di bello nella sessione estiva e negli esami così pesanti, però alla fine passa, come la macchina davanti al cervo e si può solo cercare di non rimanerne investiti e migliorare i riflessi per l'auto che passerà dopo. però intanto il santino di zlatan lo tengo, che male non fa.

#summer #sessione estiva #esamiuniversitari #università #neuroanatomia #neuroanatomy #medstudlife #medtobe

[punksarahreese]

I’ve decided I’m spending all weekend avoiding my ���friend” who stepped sooo far out of line today at home so I’m gonna catch up on my writing I promise

#I will finish this challenge istg #medtober flopped so ssfj needs to actually be completed 😭 #I’m manifesting it besties

[crockettmarcel]

sockett space au. I’m feeling insane

#been feeling insane about this since October actually #society if I’d finished my medtober fics

[lena-oleanderson]

wanna do whumptober but i'm contractually obligated to do medtober

#still might honestly #but the first three weeks are looking Hellish already and i'm working on updating stay away has been taking all i've got #bc i'm also somehow a professional drag artist now #chapter 5 of stay away out today though #i do Hope i'll manage to get the rest posted on time too #and then i'll take november “off” from fanfic to work on my original fiction for nanowrimo #i do have at least one more gomens fic in me that Might show up in december - but that's alr exam szn territory so we'll see #lena rambles aimlessly #will probably delete this lol

[beasty-fort]

Boy oh boy, the first masterwork of the current fort!

I wonder who Medtob is.

#scratchmountains #dwarf fortress #beakfort #at least this guy didn't ask for anything obscure or weird to build this with

[kindaofastudyblr]

Guess what, still tired AF, but still loving medicine as much as the first day😍

#medschool #studyblr #medicina #medicine #studyspo #medstudent #study #doctor #student #study notes #sunsetlover #sunset #study aesthetic #aestehtic #aestheitcs #aesthetic #aestethic #medtobe #callmedoc #coffeelover #coffee #coffetime

[page-doctor-bekker]

ALRIGHTY I SAID I WOULD DO IT SO I DID IT!

Heeeeeeere's...

Medtober!

The idea is that you write a fic, be it a short three-sentence fic or a full one-shot, or even just a small idea for a fic, themed around the word or phrase of the day. Think Inktober, but for Chicago Med fanfiction.

In the event that you can't write for a prompt (i.e, it's a trigger, you don't have any ideas), you can either skip it or substitute with a part two to another fic from a prior day. Or, you can come up with your own substitute prompt.

Some other rules:

PLEASE DO NOT PLAGIARIZE OTHER WRITERS. I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY THIS.

PLEASE TAG YOUR POSTS WITH #medtober2021 SO I CAN SEE YOUR POSTS!

AND FINALLY, I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU LINKED BACK TO THIS POST OR MY ACCOUNT FOR CREDIT! Highly appreciated but not required, it just helps other people who may not follow me but may want to participate! Please reblog if you're planning on participating as well!

You absolutely may write for a pre-existing au, write these as one-shots with no au, a new au for the whole month, whatever you'd like to do! In your posts, please make sure to say what day the prompt is for and the prompt itself.

Speaking of prompts...

See under the cut for a written list!

First Meeting

Terminal

Swollen

Gaslight

Malpractice

Hidden Injury

Teeth

Criminal

Missing

Dizzy

Gunshot Wound

Begging

Forest

Scared

Mad Science

Amputate

Crawl

Depressed

Sobbing

Outer Space

Abuse

Disorder

Car Crash

Pain

Exhausted

Exam

Cult

Soggy

Freezing

Sickly

Murder

Thank you for participating, and good luck!

#medtober 2021 #i know it's early to release this but i wanted to get it done #so i can save energy and write ahead #chicago med #one chicago #nbc one chicago #nbc chicago med #ava bekker #sarah reese #connor rhodes #will halstead #natalie manning #april sexton #ethan choi #fanfiction #crockett marcel #crockettstiddies #purple-dahlias #usercj #maggie lockwood #reesker #rheesker #rheese #rhekker

[purple-dahlias]

day twenty two- hug

wc: 859 requested: no warnings: none

It had been an exceptionally long day. Ava had been called into the hospital in the early hours of the morning when it became clear the condition of a postpartum patient with no previous cardiac history was deteriorating. And fast. Emergency surgery had followed, to no avail. Aortic dissection. There was nothing more that could have been done. A ticking time bomb. That was what these things usually were. Everyone always said it was sheer luck, rather than skill that allowed you to catch one and save the patient in time.

But never mind what anyone told her, Ava just had to get out. Even if it was only for a little while. She needed to be elsewhere, away from it all. Needed to be somewhere she could clear her mind, forget. Just for a little bit. And she knows exactly where to go.

The day care centre is bright and sunny, filled with the chatter and babble of children, some running about the place, others sat at the little plastic tables, occupied with colouring or games, a member of the day care staff hosting a story time at one corner of the room. Paintings hang from the walls, completed at various stages in the day care’s history by the various children who had passed through. A row of cubbies line the far wall, where coats and snack bags are tucked safely away.

Ava watches a boy and a girl come racing past her, stuffed teddies in hand, clearly headed for the play kitchen, which puts a smile on her face. Her attention though, is drawn to a little blonde girl sat atop a cushion on the floor, a shape sorting cube in front of her, fist closed around a star-shaped block. Sarah sits cross legged in front of her, her lab coat discarded on one of the tiny plastic chairs, cooing words of encouragement as Isobel places the block inside the correct star-shaped opening.

From her place standing in the doorway, Ava looks on fondly at the sight of the two there, together, before taking a deep breath and making her way over to the pair.

“Didn’t think you would be here,” Ava smiles as Sarah looks up, and Isobel turns, breaking her concentration on hearing the familiar voice.

“Yeah, well, I had a little time in between patients. Figured I’d spend it here,” Sarah shrugs, gesturing for Ava to sit beside her. “But what about you? I thought you were stuck in surgery.”

Ava shakes her head. “Patient died,” she offers quietly, picking up the cube shaped block and handing it to Isobel.

“Oh, Aves, I’m so sorry,” Sarah hums beside her, giving Ava’s hand a squeeze. “I know you did everything you could, I’m sure of it,” she reassures, knowing all too well that tendency to place the blame upon yourself. It was the hardest part of the job, losing a patient on your watch, someone who was supposed to be under your care.

Ava knows Sarah is most probably right. Really, there wasn’t much more they could have done, what with the way things had panned out. But she’s not quite ready to accept that just yet.

“Yeah, I— the woman, she’d just had a baby. Everything was fine, she was supposed to go home tomorrow. And then I got the call. Turned out to be an aortic dissection. Took her to the OR, but she— she didn’t make it,” Ava speaks in an undertone as Isobel grabs onto Ava’s fingers, babbling away none the wiser.

“Now the baby has no mother, the father is beside himself and their two-year-old won’t stop wailing for a mother who’s never coming back. It just— it hits hard, you know, especially now, considering…” Ava trails off, nodding towards Isobel, and Sarah knows instantly what she’s getting at. “I just had to come and see her.”

“I know, I know,” soothes Sarah, still holding Ava’s hand, running her thumb in a circular motion across the back of it. “Hey, Izzie, I think mommy needs a hug, hmm? Think we can do that for her?”  

Sarah picks the infant up, handing her to Ava, who takes her into her open arms, and holding her tight, placing kisses to the top of her head and inhaling that familiar, intoxicating baby scent. It allows Ava, even for a minute, to forget that anything else in the world exists beyond this.

“Hi there, baby. You here to make mommy feel better? Because it’s working, you know. Really working,” Ava says softly, hugging Isobel close and bouncing her gently in her arms. “What do you say we bring mama in on this too?” Ava looks up over the top of Isobel’s head at Sarah, offering her a grateful smile that she returns.

And really, it was moments like that, sat on the floor of the day care centre as she was, an arm each around Sarah and Isobel, that allowed Ava to feel as though yes, she could get through this, could do it all, get through anything with Sarah and Isobel beside her. That things could be okay again. More than that, even.

#medtober2021 #silverlining!au #ava bekker #sarah reese #my writing #i've realised i've written so much with isobel for medtober oops #i hope it's not getting annoying #anyways this is not proof read at all but enjoy :)

[i-like-sparkly-things]

Yall I was thinking of writing for medtober but my 80 mark exams are probably in October too 😒 maybe I'll open requests just for will halstead and write like 3 or 4 drabbles but I'm scared what do I do with prompts like teeth???? teeth yall???😂 Maybe I'll do an au I don't know but I'm having ✨thoughts✨

#Medtober #chicago med

[fighterkimburgess]

Medtober Day 31 - Murder

Summary: For @page-doctor-bekker's Medtober day 31 - Murder. After disclosing their relationship in work, Connor decides to bring Sarah for lunch. But when he arrives to get her something awful has happened.

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: blood, medical treatments, flatlining, CPR, using a defibrillator, stabbing, Robert Haywood, angst with an ambiguous ending.

Wanna join my taglist?

--

Connor sat on the sofa, Sarah’s head on his lap. The last eight weeks had been heaven, the two of them learning about each other. It wasn’t just sex - even though that was great - it was companionship. It was sitting down and curling up and watching trashy TV after a bad day. It was holding each other when they needed comfort. It was pulling Sarah into a scrub room to kiss a smile on her face. It was the curl define shampoo and conditioner in his shower, Sarah’s soft smile when she realised he’d bought it for her.

“I think we should disclose to Goodwin.” Sarah’s eyes snapped open as he spoke, looking straight up at him. “We agreed that we would wait until we knew what this is. But I’m all in. And I think you are too.”

She sat up, looking straight at him. “Are you sure? Because I’m in, but I know the way Med gossips.”

“Positive. I want to hold your hand.” She raised it for him to take, Connor pulling her off the sofa.

“Oh please, say to me, you’ll let me be your man. And please, say to me, you’ll let me hold your hand,” he crooned, swaying around his living room with her.

“Connor! You can hold my hand!” Her grin was infectious, Connor leaning slightly to kiss her.

The next morning he could tell Sarah was nervous, but he was calm. Usually he’d drop her off a couple of blocks from the hospital so she could walk the rest of the way in, but today they drove the whole way. She seemed to sink into herself, but Connor reached over for her hand.

“If you really don’t want to we can delay,” he murmured, and Sarah shook her head.

“I want to. I’m just nervous. I…you mean so much to me already, I’m nervous about losing our little bubble. But I want people to know too.”

When he parked he leaned over and kissed her, smiling at the dazed expression on her face.

“You. Are. Amazing. This will be fine, and tonight we’ll go to Molly’s and let everyone get their teasing out of the way. If they go too far I’ll stop them. I promise. Nobody makes my girlfriend uncomfortable.

The elevator down to Goodwin’s office was frustrating. They’d had to stop holding hands as soon as they got out of the car, walking near each other but not too near. Finally they made it, Connor knocking twice before opening the door.

“Mrs Goodwin? Sarah and I wanted to disclose our relationship to you.” He took in the slight surprise on her face, nodding once.

“I never expected the two of you, but congratulations. I assume it’s serious if you’re disclosing?”

“Yes, it is.” Sarah spoke this time, Connor just smiling. “We didn’t want anyone to claim there could be a conflict of interest if we didn’t disclose, I regularly perform surgical competency exams. Officially I’m not told who the surgeon is, but I just want to make sure it’s all above board.”

“Of course, Doctor Reese. If you could fill these out for me, I’ll file them today.”

It was two minutes of filling in the forms, each signing their names and handing them across. Goodwin scanned them, nodded, and slipped them into a folder on her desk.

“Congratulations. Again, we need to make sure that everything is above board, but I know you’ll do it all correctly. Have a good shift.”

“Thanks, Sharon,” Connor said as they left, slipping his hand into Sarah’s as they went down the hallway. They stayed linked in the elevator until they had to separate, arriving at the psychiatry floor.

“Be safe, see you for lunch?” Sarah whispered, Connor nodding. He leaned over to kiss her quickly, smiling at the blush on her cheeks.

“See you then.”

He only had one surgery for the day, a valve repair on a sixty year old man. It was quiet, but he had charting to catch up on so he didn’t mind too much. Time passed quickly, and when his watch buzzed at noon he decided to go upstairs to catch Sarah and bring her for lunch. The rumours about their relationship had gone quickly, texts from Will asking if it was true. He ignored it, deciding to tell him when he got down to the ED later that day.

It was a quick walk up to the Psychiatry wing, and Charles pointed down where Sarah had been the last time he saw her. It had been a good day so far, Connor smiling as he made it down the hallway.

The smile was wiped off his face in an instant.

Leaning against the wall, pale faced with blood pooling around her from a wound in her chest was Sarah. Her eyes were barely open, and Connor ran to her.

“Sarah! Sarah, what happened? Keep your eyes open, Sweetie. What’s happened?” He leaned down, his hand covering hers, feeling the blood leave her body. “SOMEONE HELP!”

“My…my father. He saw us. Said I…I don’t deserve. It hurts. Connor, it hurts.”

“Sweetie it’s ok, I’ve got you. You’re gonna be fine, Sarah.” He lifted her, running to the stairwell, it’d be faster than waiting for an elevator.

“Connor. I…I l—“

“Not yet, Sarah. You’re gonna tell me that when you’re ok. Just stay awake, ok? Stay awake, I’ve got you.”

“Love you.” Her eyes closed and Connor was filled with fear, carrying her and running for her life. Finally he was on the ground floor, bursting through the stairwell door into the middle of the ED.

“Help! I need a gurney! It’s Reese!” There was a moment of quiet before everyone sprung into action, a gurney being delivered below him that he put her on, putting pressure on her wound.

“What happened?” Ethan arrived, nerves clear on his face.

“She said it was her dad, she’s been stabbed in the chest. There’s so much blood upstairs, Choi. I don’t know how long she was lying there.”

“We’ve got her. Someone page Latham!” He watched as they pulled Sarah into Baghdad, standing outside the room with her blood on his hands, his scrubs sticky from it. Maggie and April cut away her shirt, the mangled flesh visible making him gasp. She’d been stabbed multiple times, and he could see what had happened. His mind was going through exactly what each wound would have hit, where she would have been hurt. Latham and Ava came running down, staring at Connor’s stricken expression.

“Connor?” Ava asked, realisation dawning.

“Ava…please.”

“We’ll look after her. I promise.”

He couldn’t bear to look away as the chest tubes were inserted, Sarah’s O2 sats going up as they did. And then he realised she wasn’t in sinus rhythm anymore, and they put the pads on her and shocked her three times before she came back to them. She was intubated and they pulled her out, bringing her straight up to surgery. Connor tried to join them in the elevator, but Latham barred the way.

“If you’re in there your emotions will get the better of you. We need to concentrate on Doctor Reese right now. You can watch from the gallery.” The surgeon squeezed Connor’s shoulder, Connor nearly collapsing as the elevator doors closed and Sarah was taken away from him.

“Hey, come on. You need to clean your hands, we need to get you a new scrub top, and then we’ll be up there to watch, ok?” Connor didn’t know when Will had arrived, barely recognised his best friend’s arm around his shoulders.

“Yeah…it’s Sarah. Who’d hurt Sarah?”

“I know, I know. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

It took four rounds of soap to get all of Sarah’s blood off his hands, the water going from rust to pink to red, staring at the swirls. Will had grabbed a spare shirt for him, Connor pulling his own off and cleaning his chest and abdomen of the bloodstains too. There’d been so much. If he’d been a little bit faster, if he hadn’t kissed her in the elevator. If, if, if. But now she was fighting for her life.

“Let’s go up. I’m taking the rest of the day, Goodwin’s orders. She doesn’t want you alone.”

“Thanks, man.”

They arrived in the gallery as Sarah’s surgery was beginning, a nod from Ava letting him know that she remembered her promise. Her lungs had been stabbed twice, and her vena cava had been nicked by whatever blade had been used. He let the jargon flow over him, knowing that the only two people he’d trust to operate on himself were operating on Sarah. She was so pale, her lips parted for the ventilator and her eyes taped down. It was the opposite of the Sarah he knew, the Sarah he’d seen that morning. The Sarah who he’d planned to go to Molly’s with that night, where they’d get a beer and he’d kiss her forehead as she sat with Kim and Sylvie, and he’d take the jokes from his friends about it because it was Sarah and she made him so incredibly happy.

He hadn’t prayed since his mother’s funeral, but the vaguely remembered childhood prayers bubbled through his head. He knew Will was religious, watching his best friend rub the Miraculous Medal he wore at all times. It gave him comfort, if good wishes could make a difference the entire hospital was hoping beyond hope that Sarah would be ok.

And as soon as he thought that, a long beep sounded in the OR as Sarah’s heart stopped.

“SARAH!” He screamed, jumping up to go to the OR. He couldn’t let her be alone. He had to be there. He had to make sure she was ok. She needed to be ok.

“Connor, man, no. No!” Will pulled him back, wrapping him in a hug. “You cannot go in there. By the time you get down there, you scrub in, and you argue with Latham what will happen will happen. You need to let them concentrate. You don’t want them distracted by you begging to get in when they should just be watching her, right?” Will was soothing, holding him tight in case Connor decided to push him away.

“She shouldn’t be in there. If I’d been sensible, if I’d helped, she’d be ok. But she’s not. It’s my fault.”

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t stab her, That’s on Haywood, and Jay’s unit are searching for him now, I called them in. They’ll get him. Do you really think Burgess will let anything stop her finding Sarah’s attacker? She’s running point.” That his girlfriend’s best friend was on it made him relax slightly.

Beep, beep, beep

The flatline was gone, replaced with the sound of Sarah’s heart being picked up by the machines. Connor stood at the window, and he didn’t move for the rest of the hour of her surgery. Her heart gave out one more time, going into A-Fib, but a shock brought her back. He stared at the empty blood unit packets on the floor, anywhere except where Ava was suturing Sarah’s chest back together, He wanted to be the ne to do it, the one to operate and make sure she was alive, but he knew Latham was right. He would have been a liability in the OR.

“Thank you,” Connor whispered, putting his hand on Will’s shoulder. “I…I couldn’t be alone.”

“I’ve got you, man. I’m gonna be right here the whole time.”

The two men stared at Sarah being wheeled out, Latham hitting the microphone button. “We repaired the injuries she sustained, but the next twenty four hours are critical. You can see her in recovery in a few minutes, and you can follow her to ICU after that. Good luck, Doctor Rhodes.”

“Thank you.” Every word felt like a hundred with the effort to get it out without breaking down.

Will came with him to the door of recovery, going no further with him.

“You can do this. You’ve got this, Rhodes. Text if you need anything, and when she’s moved to ICU I’ll bring you food.”

Connor went through the doors, feeling so much older than his years. He’d aged in just over two hours, the realisation that if he lost Sarah he didn’t know how he’d get through it hitting him. He couldn't lose her. He couldn’t.

Sarah was lying motionless in the bed, and even though he knew how she looked it wasn’t the same. Her skin was pale, her lips nearly bloodless, as he watched her. The ventilator was helping her breathe, but he could tell she was the one triggering it. Small mercies. The IV in her hand had two ports, one still delivering blood to her, one with fluids. He sat beside her, his hand taking the one without the IV in it as he lifted it to her lips.

“Please, Sarah. I need to tell you how I feel, it’s not fair you got to say it and I didn’t.”

It was two hours of sitting in that chair, the hiss of the vent and beep of her heart monitor the only noise apart from his whispered words begging her to just open her eyes.

Taglist: @ossypooh @sylvieshay @upsteadlovingheart @loki-halstead @thewannabewriter @bila1011 @cynthia1guardia @keenmarvellover

#rheese #cíara writes #connor rhodes x sarah reese #sarah reese x connor rhodes #sarah x connor #connor x sarah #sarah reese #connor rhodes #medtober2021 #chicago med fic

[acelizystudying]

fall vibes🥼🍂☕️

#saját #lizystudying #lizysinpain #lizysvibe #medblr #myown #lizysworking #fall #fall vibes #autumn #hospital #hospital vibes #med #medtobe #premed #pre med

[kim-ruzek]

buying a wedding ring and hiding it in your closet, almost exposing yourself because you can't act normal around your partner for Rheese because PLEASE

buying a wedding ring and hiding it in your closet, almost exposing yourself because you can't act normal around your partner

This is my last drabble for tonight... And I had to end the evening with one for cíara ESPECIALLY as it's Rheese!!! Plus I need to get into the mood for my planned medtober fic(s)

Enjoy!!!

"Connor! I'm home!"

Connor is staring at the engagement ring-- nothing too flashy, something modest and perfect for Sarah-- he had just collected at the store today, when his hopefully soon to be fiancée comes home.

She's home early, Connor immediately thinks, panicking.

As a surgeon, he's usually calm and collected-- even in the most rocky moments of his life he tends to stay calmer than others do. Sarah tells him he keeps her anxieties grounded.

But now he panics, feeling it rise quicker than anything. He can hear Sarah's footsteps, fast approaching their bedroom and he spins around, trying to find a place to hide it in.

"Connor? You in here?" Sarah's voice rings out from right outside the door and in a fit of panic and urgency, Connor tosses the ring into the closest. It feels too precious of a thing to throw like that, and he cringes inwardly, but not a second later Sarah walks into the room and he knows he made the right choice too.

"Hey," He greets her, trying to appear calm and relaxed. He moves over to her, gently taking her into his arms and kissing her forehead before laying a gentle kiss on her lips. She tastes like her coffee beans, and he immediately wants to deepen the kiss and just immerse himself in the taste of her.

Sarah has over ideas as after briefly kissing him back, she pulls back and goes to head over to the closet. The panic rises in Connor's chest again and he practically leaps, throwing his body against the closet door to stop he from opening it.

Sarah looks at him like he's got two heads. "What are you doing?"

"I-- you can't go in there." It's not the best excuse, not even close.

"Why not? I want to change out my work clothes."

"Uh..." He really should've thought this through. He can just imagine the teasing Will and Ava will give him if he tells them about this.

To Sarah's credit, she does wait a while to let him speak. But when he doesn't, she sighs, and tries to push past him. "Let me open it."

Connor leans back more firmly, stopping her attempts.

"What is up with you? Do I need to psych evaluate you Doctor Rhodes?" Sarah gives him a serious look, but there's a playful sparkle in her eye.

"I..." Connor opens and closes his mouth like a goldfish. "I'm planning a surprise. There's a present in there for you."

At that, Sarah's eyes light up. Present giving was a learning point for both of them. With both of their families using money as a way to show affection, it was hard to learn that gift giving can be thoughtful an sweet. But nearly four years into the relationship, they had gotten the groove of it.

"It's a surprise, so go into the living room. I'll bring it out." Sarah does as he asks, giving him a smile as she leaves.

Once she's gone, he opens up the closet and fishes out the ring box. Then, he quickly stores it on one of his socks at the back of the drawer, thankful that when he was out today he picked up a present for her-- a cuddly owl toy, because she's his cute night owl, staying up half the night-- and so his proposal will go unspoilt.

Until the weekend, that is.

#rheese #sarah reese #connor rhodes #Chicago med #ree writes #ree.prompts #cíara tag

[punksarahreese]

Comfort | Restart

Medtober day 3 + 4 (event by @page-doctor-bekker)

Med student!Sarah; everyone needs a real support system

Word count: 2335

CW: minor parental gaslighting/manipulation

***

Sarah had hoped no one would notice, though she quickly realized her body gave itself away all too easily. No amount of caffeine could hide the sluggishness in her movements, her limbs feeling heavier than lead. If it wasn’t that it was probably the way her voice held no cheerful tone like it usually did, instead her words fell flat and had April casting her concerned glances.

She kept to herself that day, all too exhausted to even try to be social. As long as she made it through her clinical hours she could go home and sleep, at least for a few hours. She hadn’t gotten more than six the past few days, instead pouring over her textbooks that had taken their rightful place strewn across the floor. The exam for her latest rotation was coming up and Sarah was feeling the anxiety far more than usual. That was at the fault of her mother, though the woman would say it was her daughter’s problem alone.

“Sarah, you need to stop worrying over such silly things,” she had told her over the phone, “The only thing you should focus on is school.”

“Mom…”

“Now, you know how important this is. You don’t have time for friends, it will only slow you down. My daughter will be a doctor, right? You wouldn’t let me down after all this money I’ve sent…”

It always ended like that, the passive aggressive cherry on top of narcissism. Her mother wasn’t maternal in the slightest, though she would still use her relationship to Sarah for her benefit. Sure she made certain Sarah had all the money she needed to be successful, but it all came with a price. She was expecting her daughter to make a name for herself as a doctor, which would of course leave room for bragging and manipulation on Elizabeth’s part. Sarah’s whole future rested on her mother’s money as much as it did her own success, which was an unfortunate feat she was beginning to despise.

“Reese,” if she hadn’t already been sitting down, the sudden voice on her right could have knocked her off her feet. She winced at her own jumpiness, turning to look at Connor sheepishly.

“Dr. Rhodes,” she pushed a scrap piece of medical tape into her textbook before letting it fall shut on the marked page, “Hi.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah… yes of course. Just getting some studying in.”

“Uh huh,” he looked at her for a moment and Sarah knew she probably wasn’t helping her case by looking like a whole mess, “Ava was looking for you.”

Usually a mention of her mentor would immediately grab her attention and send Sarah scurrying off to find out what she wanted. This day, however, she wanted to do the opposite. Ava could see through her in seconds and Sarah didn’t have the energy to be chastised for being spacey or distracted. She was burnt out and as much as she enjoyed being on the surgeon’s service she would much rather go home.

“Oh?” Was all she said, getting to her feet. She checked her watch, realizing it was just in time for her break to begin. Sarah gathered her textbook along with her glasses she had opted to wear that day instead of contacts. One more look at Connor preceded her reply, “I’ll go find her in a bit then.”

She didn’t look back at the fellow but she knew he was probably watching her in confusion, her attitude much different than usual. Usually she would be following after Ava like a lost puppy, so the fact that she didn’t even ask where she was was wildly out of character. Sarah didn’t have the time to worry too much about it though, a chirp from her phone letting her know her mother had more to say to her.

***

“Check on your med student.”

“What?” The look Connor got from his colleague was a guarded one, clearly she didn’t know where this was going. Connor and Sam had been pestering her for a while about her soft spot for Sarah Reese, so Ava had become accustomed to assume teasing would ensue at any mention of her.

“She looks like a mess today,” he said as he snatched a chip from the bag she had been munching on, “Bloodshot eyes and way more jumpy than usual, and that’s saying something.”

“What happened?”

Connor shrugged but couldn’t help the little smirk at how concerned Ava immediately became, “Don’t know. That’s why you should check on her.”

***

Ava found her in the locker room reserved for med students and interns, thanks to one of Sarah’s classmates who pointed their instructor in the right direction. She wasn’t sure what to expect when she nudged the door open but what she got was a bit of a shock.

Sarah was sitting in front of her locker, knees pulled up to her chest and her grey scrubs already a bit dusty from the floor. She was staring blankly at the textbook propped up on the bench, completely unfocused from the words. She mustn’t have heard Ava come in because she didn’t react, the only sound being a sniffle.

“Sarah?”

Just like Connor had pointed out, she jumped far more than she had ever before. Ava knew the medical student was on edge most days, but this seemed a bit concerning. That worry only grew when she came around the corner to face Sarah properly, not expecting quite the sight she found.

Sarah’s eyes were swollen and red, as though she had been crying for quite some time. That theory was pretty much proven by the tears tracking down her ruddy cheeks, leaving little stains where they landed on her top. Her hands shook as they worried the fabric over her knees, a rhythmic movement that must have been an unconscious thought. The med student looked like she hadn’t slept for days or like she had been to Hell and back; or maybe both.

“D-doctor Bekker,” she looked up in alarm at her mentor, very deer-in-the-headlights as if she was terrified of what she might say. Something told Ava it wasn’t a coincidence that she hadn’t seen Sarah at all that day, since the other woman looked like she had been caught red handed by just the person she didn’t want to see.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Ava was crouching beside her without a thought, “What happened to formalities making you nervous?”

“I-”

“Sarah, what’s wrong?”

The brunette’s rapid head shake sent rouge curls tumbling into her line of vision, “Nothing! I’m fine.”

“Oh yeah you definitely look fine,” she was a bit shocked with the casual way Ava dropped onto the ground beside her, seeming unlike the focused surgeon she knew. Ava should be working, not sitting on the dirty locker room floor with her medical student who had spent the whole day avoiding her like the plague. Still, she showed no signs of leaving without an explanation, which made Sarah sigh.

“My cardio rotation exam is coming up…”

“Yes and? We’ve been preparing for this for weeks, Reese. You know the content like the back of your hand.”

“I don’t… it’s not that easy,” she protested, “If I don’t do perfect on every exam from here on out I might not match into the program I want. I need to be perfect, Ava.”

“No, don’t do that. You aren’t allowed to psych yourself out like this. You will do just fine, I didn’t train you to hide from the scary stuff now did I?”

“No…”

The blonde nodded affirmatively, “Exactly. So you’ve been studying and not sleeping, I take it?”

Sarah scoffed, “What gave it away?”

“The bags under your eyes are bigger than Connor’s ego,” she teased, “Plus the fact that you haven’t put that textbook away all day and you’re shaking like you do when you’re living off of caffeine.”

“Not fair,” Sarah sighed, “Don’t psychoanalyze me; that’s doctor Charles’ job.”

“Oh I would never take his job,” Ava replied, “I have a hateful relationship with Sigmund Freud and refused to do psych after med school.”

That was what finally got a smile out of Sarah, though it was followed by an incredulous headshake. Of course Ava would say something silly or unrelated to make her feel a bit better, she always did. She shifted uncomfortably on the hard flooring, looking at her mentor cautiously.

“Why are you here, Ava?”

“Because I needed to check on you.”

“You have other things to do…”

“Sarah, you’ve been spacey and avoiding me all day. I can’t very well let my star med student blow off rounds just to sit on this Petri dish of a floor and cry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, just tell me what’s really wrong so I can help.”

“I told you… exams.”

“Yeah but exam stress doesn’t often make you look like you’ve been crying for hours straight. What happened, Sarah?”

She knew she was backed into a corner, very aware of Ava’s concerned, stern eyes watching her every move. It’s not that she didn’t want to talk to her, Ava was probably the only person she wanted to talk to about this, but it wasn’t that simple.

“Exams are coming up; I’m moving to neuro in a couple weeks.”

“Yes? What… oh.” The surgeon seemed to have a sudden realization about what really was wrong. She sighed, slumping back against the locker beside Sarah’s before replying, “Reese, are you upset you won’t be on my service anymore?”

“Don’t say it like that,” she couldn’t help the whine in her tone, “I know I’m being a baby about it, just forget it.”

“No, Sarah,” the comforting hand that fell on her knee made her jump a bit, “It’s okay to be upset about it. I know you weren’t all too excited for CT in the beginning so it’s… rather endearing that you like it so much now.”

Sarah’s cheeks flamed at that and she tried to hide them behind her hands, not replying. She hated how upset the thought of rotation change made her, especially since she never even wanted to do cardio. Pathology was going to be her specialty in the end so that’s the residency she was applying for. She had no reason to feel so attached to cardiothoracics, not to mention the gut wrenching worry that Ava would forget about her.

“Hey,” Ava nudged her gently, “Sarah?”

“My mom is on my ass,” she admitted suddenly, “She’s very controlling and our whole relationship is based on money. She expects me to only think about school and stop ‘playing around’ in clinicals because I’m supposed to go to path in the end. That’s why I wanted to hate cardio, I shouldn’t have gotten attached.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” she shook her head, “It’s irrational the way she makes me so anxious but… I need to do perfect, Ava. I can’t afford any other outcome, you know?”

“That’s far too much pressure on you,” Ava looked at her seriously, “You’re allowed to have a life, Sarah.”

“Not in her eyes. I have to be a pathologist first and a human second or my mother won’t be happy.”

“And what about you? Are you going to be happy?”

“That doesn’t… it doesn’t matter.”

The blonde scoffed, “That’s rubbish and you know it. You can’t do your best if you aren’t sleeping and you sure as hell won’t do well in something you’re not passionate about.”

“But-.”

“No arguing,” she couldn’t help the small amusement at Sarah’s immediate compliance, “Please take care of yourself, Reese. Do this for you, not anyone else, or you’ll regret it.”

Ava didn’t wait for an answer, instead she got to her feet and dusted off her dark pants. She held out a hand for Sarah, looking at her with expectant eyes. The student let herself be tugged up off the floor, though she had trouble holding eye contact for very long.

“Sarah?”

She hummed in reply, busy wiping ruefully at the tears that had started to fall again during their talk. She saw the worry in her mentor’s face and it hurt a lot more than she wanted to admit. Ava Bekker cared for her of all people and here she was spending the day sulking and avoiding her.

“Come here.”

She was a bit taken aback when the blonde opened her arms, offering a hug for the first time. She wasn’t a physically affectionate person as far as Sarah had seen, not with her students especially. Still, it had been a very long time since she had received any sort of comfort like that and she had a hard time finding a response.

Eventually she did melt cautiously into Ava’s arms, surprised by how strong and secure they felt.

The surgeon didn’t say anything, just let Sarah lean into her until she relaxed into the embrace like expected. It was clear the other woman didn’t get a lot of physical comfort and Ava felt her stomach twinge a bit at how socially distant Sarah seemed. She deserved a support system, especially in such a competitive med program, and it broke her heart to realize she didn’t have much of one.

“Listen, you are a brilliant student, even if you have trouble with confidence. Enjoy neuro, don’t waste that time being upset and instead learn as much as you can. Don’t doubt yourself or downplay your abilities just because you think you should be in a lab instead. You would make an amazing surgeon, Sarah, whether it’s in CT or not.”

“Ava,” her reply was muffled slightly by her hair, “I don’t…”

“Just put yourself first, okay? And don’t be afraid to ask for guidance. Even if I’m not your mentor anymore once your rotation is up… I’m here, I promise.”

Sarah couldn’t think of a meaningful reply, overwhelmed by it all but still soothed by the lilac scent that was so Ava. All she could do was mumble a “thank you”, but in that moment it was more than enough.

#this is a double day that’s 3 days late <3 but it’s long lmao #it’s also Bad so lmao #my aus #restart #med student!sarah #fellow!ava #medtober 2021 #sarah reese #ava bekker #chicago med #Reesker #crockettstiddies #purple-dahlias

[crockettmarcel]

I’m never going to stop being tired 😐

#I got my medtober fic finished and posted relatively early last night #so I could have been asleep before midnight #but I did Not sleep. I hate it here

[neworleansspecial]

Which banner do we like better for this year's whumptober?

(Also I am making custom banners for people to use for whumptober/kinktober/medtober or any monthly event going on for October! They're completely free, all you have to do is ask!)