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fallinfl0wers · 1 year

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i love you more than you'll ever know

fandom: genshin impact characters: albedo, venti, zhongli, xiao, wanderer reader type: gender neutral summary: yearning for someone came hand in hand with heartache. genre: angst and fluff, hurt/comfort. warnings: implied reader's death, also implied character death (xiao and wanderer kinda uh want to unlive themselves but not explicitly? i think?), mourning, slight sumeru spoilers for wanderer's. written as of 3.2 update. notes: inspired by hikaru utada's one last kiss. might do a part two, not sure when it'll be ready haha. xiao's and wanderer's are longer because i love them and i was feeling sadder as i wrote them so lol there they are. i'm sleepy but i wanted to finish these... i'll see if theres anything i need to edit tomorrow.

The meaning of this world, the truth of this world, Albedo thinks, is held within your hands. It is perhaps not the one he was looking for, or the one he had been expected to find, but personally? He would take this as the truth of the world.

Love is the truth of this world, the meaning of all sentient existence. The love one takes and gives, selflessly yet selfish al the same. The kind of love one feels from friends and family and lovers. Love is what really gives the world a meaning for those who live in it.

And for him, it is your love that fills his life with a new meaning.

Love that made him step away from experiments and investigation to take a stroll through the city, love that made him blush and giggle, love that brought a foreign yet sweet warm sensation to his chest, love that you held within your hands every time your fingers intertwined.

Love that somehow, with no reasoning or explanation, survived through all the uncertainty of fate, and the undeniable, unescapable cycle of life and death.

When your and Albedo's story is forced to come to a stop, he won't deny he felt his whole world came crashing down. Yet, more than anything, he feels grateful.

Perhaps at that time, he still would not find the truth of the world his master wanted him to. But one thing is for sure, and that's because of you, and everything you taught him.

If time and chance allow it, his love for you will be immortalized in paintings exhibited in museums; depictions of you and him, and you, you, you and you. Even when he, himself, has long since disappeared, that last trace of your love, of the truth of his world, will be preserved.

For Venti, freedom is everything. He would never tie you down so you could stay with him, even if that is what he would want the most. However, that also means he will not stop you if you, of your own free will, decide to spend the rest of your life with him.

He is selfish, just not selfish enough to decide what is best for you in your stead. This is why, he wholeheartedly decides to love you back without holding anything back, living each day like it is the last, enjoying the present doing anything and everything and nothing all at the same time.

It's ballads and tales, it's drinking and laughing at his silly shenanigans when he gets drunk, it's enjoying the breezes as you glide together and resting on the green hills and valleys of Mondstadt together, every day something new, every day a new memory to keep.

But, he knows, this won't last.

He is very well acquainted with loss, and the fragility of human life.

That is why he insisted on spending so much time together, it is why he was always clingy whenever the timing was right, why he insisted on making you laugh and smile every single day you were together.

The years spent together may seem long to you, even as you took your final breath. Yet, for him, it truly felt like it had been merely the blink of an eye. A momentary sigh, a brief instant of happiness.

Venti will sing ballads of you, for an audience of people or the always reliable, always present audience of the winds. And he knows that, even once his days come to an end, and until the end of this world, your love will be preserved, for eternities to come.

There is, after all, no world where the wind doesn't blow, even if it has come to an stop.

For Zhongli, contracts are everything. In his eyes, promises made are promises kept, and that is precisely what he does.

To you, he promised his love. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in life and death. In his own experience and words, everything must come to an end and every journey has its final day, but there is no need to rush. This is why, he never makes it a point to consciously think about the clock mercilessly ticking by as you spend your life with him.

Zhongli, the human, lives with you and shares countless experiences after experiences with you. From the simplest glance to the longest conversation to the harshest of arguments to the sweetest of kisses, Zhongli makes sure to live it with you, in the present moment, mind focused on here and now, carving each memory into his heart with the same precision an artist would carve a statue out of the finest jade.

The former god understands and accepts your mortality, and accepts it as a part of what makes you be who you are. He accepts it, and holds your hand, ever so resilient, as you take your last breaths, and bids you goodbye with a grateful smile and teary eyes.

Perhaps the legends of the mighty God of Contracts will never talk about your love, but even if there is no one left to share your memories with him, until erosion eventually claims him too, his heart won't stop beating for you.

Xiao would be lying if he said he never once doubted your sanity in the time he's known you. After all, why would you do something so terrible to yourself like willingly spending time with him? You must've been insane, he thought.

But, in reality, he was glad you were that little bit insane enough to open a space for him in your life.

From the very start, he's known you wouldn't be there forever. He is all too aware of how fragile life is, of how ephemeral you truly are. Like the sweetest of dreams, you feel like a fragile illusion of happiness that will be gone in the blink of an eye. Oh, but you are real, you are oh so real, and he knows it when you cradle his face with your hands and gently wipe the tears that silently fall down from his tired eyes that stare ahead, filled with complicated emotions, on a face far too unused to emoting, on a body far too small for the true amount of feelings that resided within it.

And he is quiet but his mind is loud, keeps him hyper aware of how short these moments of joy and peace are with you. And, although he would've never blamed you if you ever decided to leave him of your own will, he is glad you never did, he is glad that you would never do so. He is glad that you decided to spend your days with him, glad you were patient enough to wait for him to learn how to properly love you, glad you let him love you.

The days spent with you are easily the best fragment of Xiao's life. Short-lived, ephemeral, dreamlike, everything. Unforgettable.

He would like to keep you forever. His most selfish, impossible dream is for you to stay forever by his side. Greedy he is, but never enough to burden you with such thoughts. Instead, he took every opportunity he had to spend time with you, no matter what you were doing, he wanted to be there, even if it was in a place he didn't like, he didn't want to waste a single second of your life.

When you depart from the world of the living, a part of him leaves with you.

And, Xiao knew when he fell in love. You would be the death of him.

He won't last long after you leave.

He'll do his best to live, because he knows you would want him to live, but he truly won't be able to do so for long.

Legends will speak of the tragically beautiful love that Liyue's last Yaksha had towards a human, speak of how he learned how to be human for love, of how his love was so intense and pure it was the only thing that kept him tied to the world of the living for years to come.

And when Xiao's time comes, he smiles as he sheds tears and looks up at the infinite blue sky.

When the light leaves his eyes, and his last breath is a sweet proclamation of his everlasting love for you, he knows.

He will see you in another life, in another world.

It took him three betrayals to finally understand: the world is an elaborated tapestry of lies.

It took him pain and humiliation, having his one purpose taken away, for him to understand: just because you want something, that does not mean you will get it. No matter what you do, if the world decides you won't have it, then you won't.

Receiving kindness from the dendro archon was and the blessing of an anemo vision were some of the things that set him on the right path to find his true wishes on his own, but most importantly, your existence in his life made something inside him turn and twist. You filled him with an achingly bittersweet yearning to love and be loved, you made him want to trust, made him willing to endure pain and betrayal if it meant he could spend eternity with you.

Eternity, the concept that his creator was (or still is, he wouldn't know) so obsessed with, obsessed with enough to discard him like worthless dross and abandon him to fend for himself with no instructions or expectations. Now, Wanderer felt as though he could understand her just a bit.

Or maybe a lot.

Eternity stretches things over a long time, but each moment within it becomes all the more fragile.

Nevertheless, when he had you, when you loved him, he finally understood why his mother was so desperate back then to attain eternity. He, too, when affronted with the harsh reality that you and your comforting warmth would not be around for long, desperately wished for a miracle to happen so he could stay forever with you. You living forever or him going with you once you left, he cared not, he only wanted you you you you and nothing else.

But, as he discovered, after long periods of anger and denial over painful feelings, acceptance is sure to come.

You are not like him in the slightest. Born human, with a heart of your own, knowing kindness and happiness from people around you, while his body was just a mere imitation of human flesh, an empty husk unfit for the only task he was created to perform. Yet, you still loved him as though he was not an easily replaceable abomination, but a human.

After you're gone, he cries the most he's ever cried. Rests his head on your chest that has long since stopped moving up and down with your breathing while his ears are met with silence when before he would listen to your comforting heartbeat, and he cries.

It will be long before the life of the Wanderer comes to an end- after all, he was created to endure an eternity functioning. Every dawn and every sunset, every passing breeze and station, he will remind the days you were together, and smile, as the empty space in his chest weeps silently, waiting, longing, hoping there exists a day in which he can meet you again.

For now, now that you're not with him anymore, he would simply keep walking, chasing the breeze that blows on a bright afternoon.

fallinfl0wers. 2022.

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johnlennonofficial · 1 year

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ok overall, great melodywriting, good harmonics, bad mixing, god awful lyrics. taylor rly needs to rebrand herself. i know she wants to be “of the people,” but until she properly disconnects from the mainstream she never will be. it’s so hard not to dismiss all of her lyrics as artificial and robotic

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ask-slasher-blog · 4 years

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Requesting Information

Hello, today and forever more until I pause for whatever reasons, I will be receiving and writing Horror Slasher Oneshots/Headcannons!~

Keeping mind that I have not watched every single Friday The 13th, Scream, Chucky, Norman Bates and Valek/The Nun and Sinclair stuff, and Nightmare on Elm Street Movie/stuff! I know quite a lot, but most likely not every single detail

NOTE: To find my future works, use the tag “MelodyWrites”

Characters Allowed for Requests:

Jason Voorhees (All Versions)

Michael Myers (OG + RZ)

Freddy Kruger (Everyone except Remake)

Leatherface (Bubba + Thomas)

Ghostface (Scary Movie + Stu/Billy)

Brahms Heelshire

Valek/The Nun/The Crooked Man

Charles Lee Ray/Chucky

Tiffany Valentine

Nubbins

Choptop

Bo Sinclair

Vincent Sinclair

Lester Sinclair

Always welcome to new characters as suggestions to be added to the list, and ALWAYS welcome to requests!

Thank You <3

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flowingmelody · 6 years

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Voltron fanfic prompt- Team Voltron baby sitting/taking care of a baby! Bonus if it calls Shiro 'da' or 'dad'.

Istarted answering this earlier but all my progress was deleted when I left themobile app so I’m starting it anew…!! I also finished all of my assignmentsfirst because, um, priorities and I would like to pass my very expensiveuniversity courses. That I paid for. With my hard earned cash. (Why can’thigher level education be covered by the government or something damn it.)Anyway, I am really sorry this is so late but I hope you can still enjoy!

—————————————————

Thesound of a wailing infant could be heard in every room of the Castle of Lions.Shiro, with all his experience and leadership, could not calm his infantizedteammate.

“Whatis it you need, Hunk? Milk? A lullaby? A change in diapers?” Shiro desperately pleaded.

BabyHunk, wrapped in warm yellow blankets, only continued to wail louder. Hisscreams sounding more horrific by the second.

Adoor slid open and Keith walked through, deep grey folds circled under hiseyes.

“Ican’t take this anymore. How much longer do we have until he turns back tonormal!?” He yelled at Coran.

“Justtwo more days. We only need to hold out two more days.” He yelled back.

Keith’seyes took on a mad gleam as he stared at the baby.

Thedoors slid open again and Lance walked in nonchalantly, having successfullycompleted his mission. He pulled in a large vat of milk on a utility cart.

“Hey.”He tiredly greeted everyone and dropped the cart handle. Lance took over babyholding duty from Shiro, who was more than willing to oblige.

“There,there.” He cooed as he rocked the infant. “It’s okay.” He covered the baby’seyes as he continued to rock him. Hunk quieted and when Lance uncovered hiseyes, he was fast asleep.

“Thelights were probably too bright so he couldn’t fall asleep, but it should befine now. He’ll be asleep for at least an hour as long as we stay quiet.”

“Isee.” Shiro said as the others gazed at Lance with awe, through eyes weigheddown with sleep deprivation.

“Ibrought back some Eboif milk that should last us the next 48 hours, as long asit stays cold. Coran?”

“I’llclear out the fridge shelves and put it there.” He said, chipper as ever.Alteans didn’t experience the downsides of sleep deprivation as quickly ashumans did, but it would likely hit within the next 48 hours.

“Thanks.Just so I’m clear, no one is to feed Hunk anything other than Eboif milk forthe next 48 hours. He has a delicate digestive track at the moment and anywrong move may very well kill him. And before I forget, do not under anycircumstances, shake him, and if anyone so much as coughs, you will bequarantined until further notice. Babies are very delicate creatures,understood?”

Everyonehummed noises of agreement.

“Pardonme, Lance, but how do you know so much about the caring of newborns?” Allurainquired.

“Oh,is someone falling for my smooth child-raising skills?” Lance quirked hiseyebrows.

“Yep,that’s the Lance we know.”

“Typical.”

“Ugghhh.”

“Really.”

“Iused to have four younger siblings. The youngest being eight years younger thanme. Everyone older than me was often busy so I ended up spending a lot of timetaking care of those kids.” He smiled fondly. “Those tyrants were the mostterrifying creatures I’d ever met.”

“Whatdo you mean by ‘used to have’?” Pidge asked.

Lancevisibly grew stiff. His smile became strained. “Ah, one of them was just threemonths old when an uncle visited. He had a small cold that none of us thoughtmuch of, but little Elon caught his cold, and well, she wasn’t strong enough tolive through it.” He paused to think for a moment before continuing. “It’s asurprisingly common story and it was such a long time ago, so I don’t remembermuch of it. Who’s hungry? I don’t think any of our stomachs’ will like eatingonly goo instead of Hunk’s cooking for 48 hours but we should survive longenough to devour some of the big man’s delectable dishes. I’ll be in thekitchen if anyone wants to join me for a late dinner!”

Lancewalked out with the infant. As soon as the door closed, everyone in the roomlooked at Keith.

“What?Oh no no no. Comforting is not my thing- and you all know that. If anything,I’ll just make it worse. You all know that- and- fine I’ll go after him.” Hefollowed after Lance, still grumbling under his breath.

“Sleep?”Shiro asked.

Everyonemumbled noises of agreement and wandered off. Coran stayed behind to man theship and watch for possible attacks and distress signals while Allura left fora long-needed rest.

Soon,Coran was left alone with the quiet hum of the ship, a welcome environmentafter the chaos of caring for a human baby for a quintent.

Lancesomehow managed to balance a sleeping Hunk in one arm while the other waspumping green food goo onto a plate. The kitchen doors slid open and familiarthump of boots sounded until they reached a nearby chair. Lance didn’t have tolook up to know who it was. He’d recognize those footsteps anywhere.

“Hey.”Keith greeted him awkwardly.

“Hey.”Lance replied offhandedly, having finished pumping enough food goo for a meal.He pressed a button on the pump and it retracted back to its dispenser.

“Doyou want to talk? You might feel better afterwards.” Keith said bluntly, as healways did.

“Nottoday, buddy.” Lance chuckled. “But thanks for the offer.”

Neitherof them were energetic enough to keep pressing the subject.

Keithwatched silently as Lance dug into his food somehow hungrily, with practicedmoves that suggested he was used to eating in this position.

Afterpolishing off half his plate, Lance glanced over at Keith, with his eyes closedand face smushed into his hand. Somehow his arm was still supporting him, butit wouldn’t be long before Keith’s head slid off his hand and smashed into thetable. Lance smiled at the rare vulnerability Keith was showing. This wouldnever have happened when they first entered space, and yet here they are. Closeas family. Also exhausted as hell, but in a much different way from fighting awar. It was a much welcomed interlude for team Voltron, at least from Lance. Itwas also times like these that Lance thought about his family on Earth themost, but he didn’t miss them as strongly as he used to. Not with his otherfamily around 24/7.

In48 hours, they’ll be fighting a war bigger than any of them again, but for now,he planned on enjoying the peace.

—————————————————

Um, I think you wanted something cute but this ran away from me. I think if one of the paladins turned into a baby, the paladins would be absolutely swamped and none of them would really know how to react except for Lance, having been cannonly confirmed to have a big family. In my opinion, it’d delve into him thinking about his family back on Earth and his space family and ultimately coming to some sort of peace with himself. Also character development for Keith because I definitely see him being there for Lance like Lance was for him. Whelp here you are. Completed at long last!

#voltron the legendary defender #voltron headcanons #voltron lance #voltron pidge #klance #fanfic #melodywrites

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5150luigi · 4 years

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🏝 My dad snapped this very rare moment of me actually notating a new melody🎶📝 Isolation makes you do interesting things👀 * * #isolationcreation #melodywriting #musicianscorner #luigi #evhgear #illycoffee https://www.instagram.com/p/B94qBy1DG7A/?igshid=3808q1yw65zp

#isolationcreation #melodywriting #musicianscorner #luigi #evhgear #illycoffee

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melodystales · 7 years

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Today was a weird day. I actually completed the outline of the novel. I vaguely know what’s going to happen in every chapter and I’m... unsatisfied. Like, I know first draft is only telling yourself the story. I know it won’t be what I need it to be in the first draft but there’s this problem of being a little bit bored? Because I see everything in front of me and nothing excites me because of that. But if I had not planned the story, then I would have been completely lost and would never dream of completing it. I know while writing I’ll discover other stuff but this is new for me. Knowing where to go and still staying creative sounds so challenging.

My friends who are reading the story are really happy about it but my motivation is nowhere to be found today. Still wrote 350 words though. And maybe I can try adding a little bit more an hour later. I don’t know... We’ll see.

#melodywrites #writing #writing log

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ultimatemusictheory · 5 years

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Parallel Period Melody with Voice Leading - LEVEL 6 #ultimatemusictheory #glorystgermain #teachmusictheory #musictheoryclass #melodywriting #level6musictheory #musicteacher

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phungthaihy · 4 years

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Classical Style - Composing for the Piano http://ehelpdesk.tk/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/logo-header.png [ad_1] In this episode of composing for... #abletonlive #advancedmusiccompositiontechniques #basicmusiccompositiontechniques #bluesguitar #cftp #classicalpianocompositionlesson #classicalpianocompositiontutorial #composingforthepiano #composingmusic #dj #drums #electronicmusic #fingerstyleguitar #flstudio #guitar #harmonica #keyboardinstrument #logicprox #melodywriting #music #musiccomposition #musiccompositiontechniques #musiccompositiontutorial #musiccompositiontutorialyoutube #musicmixing #musicproduction #musictheory #originalcompositionpianotutorial #piano #pianoarrangementmelody #pianoarrangementtips #pianocompositionclassical #pianocompositiontutorial #singing #songwriting

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fredcowie-blog · 7 years

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Ooh, time for a break from studying MUSIC THEORY. So, this week, or at least for a few days, I will write out the melodies of a few songs I have written and do several things: 1) Analyze what I had done regarding what I have since learned; 2) improve the separate parts; 3) figure out some chords; 4) play, sing, listen; and 5) repeat process till thrilled! #musictheory #musictheoryhelp #musicians #music #songwriting #melodywriting #fredcowie #lastchancelifecoach #professionalartist #helenamontana

#melodywriting #fredcowie #musictheoryhelp #professionalartist #music #lastchancelifecoach #songwriting #musicians #helenamontana #musictheory

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fallinfl0wers · 1 year

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They wear your clothes

fandom: genshin impact characters: xiao, albedo, scaramouche reader type: female, taller than them, tried to make it ambiguous enough so it can be read as reader being chubby too! summary: they've heard of the custome of borrowing clothes from your significant other, usually, a girlfriend borrowing from her boyfriend. since their clothes wouldn't exactly fit on you, they decided to try yours instead... genre: fluff notes: self-indulgent because i can't relate to almost half the posts on this trope (and a lot of other posts with some very specific descriptions on the reader compared to the character...) due to me not being dwarfed by most of my husbandos despite not being the tallest person around HAHA, also, i didn't consistently do this before, but from now on i will put in the tags the gender of the reader on each post rather than just in this section!^^

Xiao

He's heard of this strange habit humans have about borrowing their lovers' clothes, and at first, he didn't see the appeal.

But as he thought about it from time to time, he wondered... would you like to do something like that?

Listen, at most, Xiao only has about three or four outifts that look exactly the same and he uses them all if they don't get destroyed beyond repair during his fighting against demons, so it's not like he has many clothes to spare, let alone clothes that would fit comfortably on you if at all, considering your body is bigger than his.

He doesn't bring it up not to make you uncomfortable, though. He knows it could make you feel self-conscious.

He has never been truly self-conscious or insecure about his height, though. He thinks it's useful because it lets him be lighter and move faster than others.

But, man... if he hears you say you wish you could borrow his clothes too just for a while, he'll lowkey wonder if you'd be more comfortable if he was a bit taller and his clothes could actually fit on you--

So one day, while you were taking a shower and he waited for you in your room, he saw a fluffy, slightly oversized sweater of yours laying on your bed.

He blinked down at it.

And proceeded to take off his accessories and sleeve to try it on and see once and for all why humans seemed fond of stealing each other's clothes.

The sweater was already a bit oversized on you, so you can imagine... it was very oversized on him.

And he thought it wasn't that big of a deal but then he kinda looked down at himself, felt the soft fabric against his body, smelt the scent of the soap he knows you always use, the scent of you, impregnated on the sweater...

He looked tiny. And felt tiny too, in a weirdly good sense. He felt as if he was being surrounded by you, and since you were his comfort, it felt as if he was being surrounded by comfort.

When you get out of the shower wrapped on your towel, you can't even begin to process the picture before your eyes: Xiao, your beloved boyfriend, wearing your favorite oversized sweater and staring at you while his cheeks slowly gained a pink tone as he came out of his mind.

The moment you try to speak Xiao is already in front of you, gently throwing your sweater on your face so you won't see his expression.

"I... only wanted to see if it was warm. Um. It is warm. Wear it so you don't get sick.

After that day, Xiao sends hints to you that he wants to wear more of your clothes.

It isn't often, but at some point, when he's free and tired and you're not available, he will simply rummage through your wardrobe and pick the first sweater, hoodie or jacket he can get to feel closer to you.

He gives it a 10/10, wearing [name]'s clothes is free therapy and happiness.

And since his own clothes really won't fit you, at least he lets you wear his necklace at times. Plus, he personally crafts jewelry and other accessories of the like for you to wear instead, all filled with protective charms to keep you out of harm's way.

Albedo

He knows of this human custom, and he was never interested on it, honestly.

He can lend you his lab coat, it's a tight and small fit on you, and he wouldn't recommend you wore it if you were to actually participate in any sort of experiment; if you're ever interested on alchemic stuff, he already has a coat with your proper measurements.

Besides his uniform of the knights of favonius, I think he mostly wears dress shirts and that sort of elegant-casual clothes, always with his lab coat on because he spends most of his time experimenting anyway.

He actually overheard you talking with Klee one day while you were babysitting her when she asked whether or not you borrowed his clothes at times.

And, fairly enough, you sometimes borrow a scarf if you forget your own- but nothing more than that.

Albedo did what he knows best, and did his personal research on the topic: couples borrowing each other's clothes as a form of affection.

He spotted many couples throughout all of Mondstadt doing as much- many of them being a smaller female wearing a larger male's blazers, shirts or other garments alike.

Though, aside from that gendered trend, he identified that the most important variable in this situation was height and perceived weight between the lovers in question--

A conclusion he reached quickly during his first ten minutes of observing, something rather obvious: it is only functional for the smaller person in the relationship to wear the bigger one's clothes rather than the other way around, excluding cases where the builds of the two are similar.

He still quite didn't get why people liked it though.

So one day, you enter your room to look for something real quick, and tilt your head in confusion as you find Albedo wearing a dress shirt that belongs to you and is clearly not his size, staring at his reflection on the mirror analytically while smoothening down the fabric.

You frown, and if anyone saw you, they would see the question marks floating above your head.

The alchemist turns to look at you, and gives you a smile.

"[Name], good evening, how was your day? Hm? This? Yes, it is your shirt. I'm sorry for not asking beforehand, I'll do better next time. I was curious about this 'clothe stealing' thing some people do with their partners... I think I get it now. It is rather... comforting and reassuring."

From then on Albedo will ask you if he can borrow your shirts whenever he knows he'll have to spend a lot of time on his lab at Dragonspine, he says it makes him feel less lonely up there.

He still lets you borrow his scarves, and if your hair is long enough to be tied, also his hair ties.

For practical purposes, he can't simply buy oversized clothes to wear so you can wear them too and feel what he feels when he wears yours, but alchemy goes a long way, so he'll most likely gift you a bracelet, ring, collar or other charm of the like made with your favorite flowers, alchemically modified and solidify to last at least a hundred years intact.

Scaramouche

He might have a little... problem with his own height, but since he's convinced he's far too strong and amazing, no one can really know it unless they purposefully push his buttons (or look at the gigantic robot he piloted in Sumeru)

He's been around for a while, alright, but to be honest he really never interacted with a lot of couples enough to pick up on these kind of affection.

Probably though, during his time as a harbinger, he saw a couple of recruits exchanging coats before a particularly hard mission while spouting promises of "I'll return safely and we'll be together!" or something like that.

He thought it was just another weird human habit he wouldn't concern himself with because it was ridiculous AAAAND then you came into the picture, somehow broke down his walls and made him feel things he didn't want to feel again

Like attachment and happiness and joy and hope. Ew, what are those? He doesn't want them! (He does tho)

And since you're obviously bigger than him, while you hugged him, he suddenly understood that strange custom.

When you hug him, he feels all warm and fuzzy and fluffy inside- it's a comforting feeling that... well, feels so good he wants to cry.

So maybe, he thinks, wearing your clothes would have a similar effect.

And so here you have him, he made sure you wouldn't be around to see him do this, so he has no shame on dugging through your wardrobe until he finds the sweater you wear the most and puts it on to test his theory.

He looks at himself in the mirror and glares at himself for blushing-

Your sweater... it was soft. And fluffy. And warm. And it smelt like you.

He puts a hand over his chest, on the empty space where his heart should be.

He has no heart, so why does he feel like something just skipped a beat?

He closes his eyes, and he can almost feel as though you're holding him in your warm embrace. And he only puts your sweater back on place when he knows it's almost time for you to return home.

"I'm wearing your sweater today. ...? I'm not asking, I'm telling you. [Name], what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine, I don't have to ask for this sort of thing! ... ...I just want to, alright?! Geez, you just want to know every little thing, don't you?! it's just so comforting... hah..."

Man will let you borrow his clothes if you want honestly, he can't guarantee you'll be comfortable but if you want to, go off I guess.

He'll lend you his hat, especially during rainy days when you're stuck out on the rain.

No matter how taller you are, an inch or five or more, he'll claim you're his umbrella for the day even though you say you've brought a far more comfortable, actual umbrella.

He loves this arrangement secretly, despite how uncomfortable it can get. He's very close to you this way and he loves it!

Man will also gift you jewelry and he'll make some himself too- and if he suddenly has far too many new jewelry himself and leaves it "forgotten" in your desk or plainly on your lap, you don't need to know why! Just wear it!! (please)

2022. fallinfl0wers.

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fallinfl0wers · 1 year

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hii, how r u?

these days i have a bit of a baby fever so 😶‍🌫️ can i request childe, xiao and zhongli looking after their baby with their s/o (separately)? thank you!!!

fandom: genshin impact characters: childe, xiao, zhongli reader type: female summary: babies are tiny, cute, and noisy, and vulnerable, and soft, and if you see one, it's only natural you want to take care of them, or at the very least hope they're not in any discomfort. how do they look after their baby with you? genre: general, fluff, family-centric warnings: female reader, children, you and the characters are married notes: aaa, i loved making these ones! i needed some softness TwT

Childe.

He k n o w s his way around children! You can rest assured, he will always know what to do in any situation!

Your baby has the softest clothes and blankets and pillows and plushies, he WILL start spoiling your little one since the first minute.

He gets so hyper and soft when it's about your baby, it's endearing seeing him baby-talk to your little one and making them laugh and smile while he holds them.

When it comes to changing diapers, preparing meals, or bathing your baby, he's always there to help you (when he's around).

His job keeps him from being the type of father and husband he'd like to be, so he just doubles his efforts when he can spend long times with you!

That means, if baby wakes up in the middle of the night and you're just so tired all you want is sleep, Childe's got you covered!

He'll get up to take care of the baby until they fall asleep again and might also fall asleep in an uncomfortable position near the crib if it took too long for the baby to go back to sleep.

He's really the biggest fan of you and your baby, makes sure to capture each and every possible moment with a Kamera and keeps all the pictures in an album!

Will be very overprotective, if he can't be around he assings fatui agents that he trusts and have them be always nearby to watch over you and protect you or just run errands for you if you need anything.

He also tries his best to not be too reckless in battle, he wouldn't want to leave you or his child to fend for yourselves, after all!

In the unlikely case something terrible did end up happening to him, he already has a separate bank account he puts a lot of money in so he can make sure you won't be on your own if anything does happen.

Will also tell the child that he's a toyseller when the kid is old enough to ask about his profession. He wants to protect their innocence for as long as he can.

Xiao.

Seven Archons please help this man. He has zero idea how to treat people like, well, normal humans like you do. And now he has to look after a super tiny person? A baby? What do you do to a baby? What do you do with a baby?

I'm very sure he did research asking people he trusted and reading any book on the topic he could find, but when it comes to actually looking after the baby, his mind is empty.

Why do babies have to be so tiny and fragile.

He's spending less time on demon-hunting duty because there's absolutely no way he's letting you overexert yourself between resting after giving birth, caring for the baby and going back to work- let him support you and don't be stubborn!

Changing diapers isn't disgusting to him, it was just very confusing at first, but he soon got the hang of it.

He mostly stays in the sidelines when it comes to baths and feeding the baby, but he can prepare the food if you give him the proper instructions.

He won't admit it, but he lowkey got sad when you told him that your baby couldn't eat almond tofu just yet, he wants to share one of his little joys with his dear baby!

Xiao doesn't sleep, so logically, one would think that if he's around, then he wouldn't wake you up and take care of the baby instead, but it's actually not so common.

Most of the time, night is when he has to leave to tend to the duties he didn't do for the rest of the day, and he feels bad about it because he doesn't want to neglect his family and at the same time can't bring himself to stop doing his work.

That, and he's also incredibly anxious about anything refering to your child. Sure, throughout the day, even if you're busy at work, he can stay with the baby and if he runs into any trouble he can always ask for help from the inn boss, or if you're not so busy, he can ask you for help. There's always someone "safer" for the child to be around if his karma starts acting up.

At night he has no one to turn to, except you. So in especially rough nights, he wakes you up so you can help your baby.

He loves you and your child too much to put you or them in risk. Sometimes, protecting and caring for you two means that he has to be away until he's gotten things under control again.

But, he loves your child a lot. He really likes holding them in his arms, and also loves to play with them when they're a bit older.

TLDR he might be clumsy, and he learns quickly, but he's also very scared so don't leave him alone for too long.

Zhongli

He kind of knows and kind of doesn't know how to look after your little baby.

He has the knowledge, of course! But he also has these moments in which he doesn't exactly know how to apply it- luckily, you're around whenever that happens!

He's going to be THE most patient parent you'll ever see. He understands that babies are a lot of work, and that at times they won't stop crying and they can't really help it, so he's the most patient you'll ever see him being with his baby.

His voice is soothing, it will easily lull your little one to sleep!

Changes diapers like a pro after a couple tries.

He might be the one to give you tips on how to make the best baby food with the most nutritional value for a child at the age of yours and will tell you the history behind traditional baby foods and related trivia.

If your baby was sitting nearby on a baby chair you might have to wake them up to feed them tbh

Another super protective dad, won't let anything or anyone harm you or your little one in any way shape or form.

Goes out on walks with you and the baby and LOVES having them in his arms.

Even if you have a baby car, he wants to carry your baby in his arms and show them around his beloved city, even if the baby can barely talk he'll introduce them to everything!

One of the first words of your baby might be a badly pronounced big word because of Zhongli's large vocabulary

Zhongli will read bedtime stories for your baby, and for you too, since the crib is in your room.

He's very good at looking after the baby, probably the best of these three!

fallinfl0wers. 2022.

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fallinfl0wers · 1 year

Text

rest

fandom: genshin impact character: xiao reader type: gender neutral summary: to him, hope does not exist, but tonight he does not care. he just wants to rest. warnings: xiao's mental health and bad perception of self. notes: a little something i wrote after the new teaser dropped. a self-indulgent thing edited for the blog <3

His feet drag across the wooden floors of the roadside inn that always receives him with no questions asked, the faint sound of his breathing almost echoing in the emptiness of the last hallway of the highest floor, a small area void of any other resident aside from himself.

That is, until he reaches his door, where he can now feel the presence and hear the breathing of another without having to open it.

And maybe, in any other night, he would've felt himself relaxing and his heart fluttering at the knowledge of who awaited for him behind the sturdy door of sandbearer wood. In any other night, maybe he would be feeling sorry he was intruding in what he considered now as that person's private quarters despite being well aware of the fact that that place was his as much as it was that person's.

But tonight, he just wanted to rest.

Whatever little energy he'd gotten from the rice wine pudding given to him by that little girl's grandfather was already dying down, and he needed nothing more than to fall face-first wherever he could.

His heart breaks a little more upon opening the door and inevitably waking up the other resident of the room, who always had some trouble falling asleep.

You.

It's the way you turn back around on the only bed in the room and blearily blink in direction of the door while still snuggling that blue, hand-made stuffed toy resembling one of Sumeru's forest spirits that has his heart breaking.

There really isn't a single moment in his life where he's not a nuisance to others, is there?

"Huh? Xiao...?" You yawned, sitting up on the bed and looking in his direction with droopy, tired eyes. "You good...?"

Xiao closed the door, and let out a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding in.

"Forgive me. ... I just want to rest."

Xiao was not completely ignorant when it came to reading other people's feelings. For all the things he lacked, empathy was, by some miracle, not one of them.

Yet, with the way your shoulders dropped and your gaze was clouded with a feeling he was reluctant to name, he couldn't give himself an idea of what you were thinking when you heard his words.

There's another yawn coming from your mouth as you nod, laying back down on the bed, stuffed toy tightly clutched to your chest.

"That's alright..."

You stared at each other like that for a couple of seconds that felt like an eternity to him.

If only you knew what was going on in his head, what would you say? How would you look at him? What would you think of him?

He has no time to ponder it, because after giving him a nod, you shuffle to the left side of the bed and turn to face the wall, understanding that he didn't want to talk about it.

You had always been like this, understanding and patient. Xiao couldn't quite make up his mind on whether or not this was a good thing when directed to him.

Sluggishly peeling off the more restrictive and stuffy parts of his clothing and lazily pushing off his boots, he stared at the empty space intentionally left for him on the bed.

Resting... yes, that really must be it... that must be the only thing he wants...

At least for tonight, resting is fine. Resting is good.

The covers and blankets are soft to the touch of his scarred hands as he gently tugged them just enough to fit himself under their warm comfort, his head gently resting against the plush pillow right beneath. The gentle fabrics that brush against his body to keep him comfortably warm are just heavy enough to be soothing rather than suffocating.

He can accept this much comfort, just for tonight.

You laid right next to him, he could tell by the sound of your breathing that you were not yet asleep as you should've been.

He stared at your backside for a good minute before looking up at the ceiling, with eyes that were already so used to seeing in the dark that he couldn't tell if the prickling feeling and the beginnings of tears in their corners was his distress, fatigue, or just the natural reaction of his strained gaze.

"...Goodnight, Xiao." Your voice whispers to him.

He breaths in, then lets it out. Slowly, shakily, hesitantly.

With a last glance at you, he turns away, his back facing yours as he, too, curls up beneath the blankets.

"...Goodnight..."

The sound of your name falling from his lips gives him a tiny bit of peace.

It is not enough.

Not tonight.

But that is okay.

Just for tonight, he can rest.

You're right next to him.

He can rest.

Xiao's eyes fluttered closed, and together with you, he drifted off to sleep.

Let the Xiao of tomorrow worry about the pain of tomorrow, tonight, Xiao wants to rest.

fallinfl0wers. 2023.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcanon #genshin imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin scenarios #xiao x reader #xiao x you #xiao x y/n #melodywritings #melwritesgenshin #x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #x gn reader #note that the plushie reader has is a plushie of ararycan #i love that little guy #twilighttheatre

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fallinfl0wers · 1 year

Note

Can you scaramouche with a s/o who has a fox ears and tail? Male prefered for reader but gn is also good!!

fandom: genshin impact characters: scaramouche/wanderer reader type: male, with fox ears and tail summary: he's met many people in his life but, don't make him repeat this, you're the funniest and cutest person he's ever met. genre: fluff warnings: slight spoilers of scara's lore (that thing, yknow, that yae wanted ei to unlive him instead of just leaving him somewhere? is that considered a spoiler at this point?) written as of 3.2 update. notes: here you go <3 i got a couple of male!reader requests, a treat for all the guys reading my fics!

If he's being honest he didn't have the best concept about people with fox ears and tail, the only person he knew that was like that wanted him dead, so-

Yeah... moving on, he's seen other people, human-ish looking with ears and tails- cat-like, dog-like, bunny-like... after the first two hundred years wandering the world, he stopped being surprised by them.

When he met you, he swore, there must've been a huge question mark floating above his head.

Aside from that kitsune from the Grand Narukami Tree, he'd never seen anyone else with fox ears and tail!

You were so much nicer than her, too- and a lot funnier--

I don't know how you did it, but you managed to snatch his love! Congrats to you, my man, now he won't ever leave you alone!

He loves how your ears are so expressive, he can tell how you're feeling faster by looking up at your ears before your face.

When they're droopy, he knows you're sad, or sulking, and when they perk up, he knows you're happy, or you heard something somewhere.

He finds very adorable how your ears give away your emotions, and he loves scratching them too!

Especially if they're sensitive. He will use it against you and tease you nonstop at every chance he gets.

I'm pretty sure that he's also tugged on your tail to get your attention, more often than you'd think.

Like this one time you were sleeping together, you woke up before him and wanted to go get some water.

He was all ??? sir??? you're NOT going anywhere >:( and he pulled on your tail to startle you and have you fall down back with him so he could cuddle you lmao

He doesn't pull hard enough to hurt, though, just enough to get your attention.

If you let him, he will also brush your tail, and he'll be very careful about it!

He finds you adorable, honestly. He won't tell you, but he thinks you're the cutest person he's ever met!

fallinfl0wers. 2022.

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fallinfl0wers · 1 year

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hii! since ur requests are open could i request childe, thoma, yoimiya and nilou with a reader who has social anxiety/trouble socialising? if this prompt makes you uncomfortable, feel free to delete my ask! thanks 💗

fandom: genshin impact characters: childe, thoma, yoimiya, nilou reader type: gender neutral genre: general, fluff, comfort warnings: reader has social anxiety notes: as a person who has social anxiety, this was so sweet to write <3

Childe

Childe is great at socializing, actually. As an extrovert, he really has no trouble talking to people regardless of his or their intentions.

The first time he saw you freezing out of social anxiety took him aback, as it happened in what to him was a situation that could be easily solved.

Just the typical moment when the waiter gives you the wrong dish, and you can't find it in yourself to call out to them to communicate the issue.

He was that "Excuse me? They asked for no pickles!" meme lmao.

That's usually what he does when he sees a situation is too much for you no matter how much you're trying, he steps in to save your poor anxious heart

Encourages you to go out there and talk to people at your own pace- he will go right behind you!

Go shop for a small thing, borrow a book from the library, say hello to your coworkers, just walk around "on your own", he will be a couple of steps behind so you're not truly alone but also relying more on yourself.

He won't ever force you though, he'd rather you take your tiny slow steps to cope and deal with your anxiety than to force you into a distressing situation.

Thoma

Thoma, too is great at socializing. One of the best in this list tbh

He finds it both cute and worrying how shy you can get when it comes to socializing.

Once he realized that your problem went beyond the realms of shyness and straight into anxiety, his worry shoot up to the skies.

But he won't let you deal with this alone, nope nope!

The best way to fight fear is facing it directly! So, when he has to run errands around the city, he'll ask you to come with him.

Inserts you in social situations by bringing you out more often, letting you get used to people existing around you, and showing you how he negotiates and bargains.

Will practice speaking up with you, might even bring a couple trinkets to use as costumes to play the part of random strangers!

Your biggest supporter, will take you home when things get too hard for you, no matter what.

Yoimiya

Oh sweetheart, you shall never worry! Yoimiya's got your back now and forever!

It really pains her to see you freeze with fear when a social interaction is too much for you, so trust her to always stick by you and ease any possible awkwardness!

When walking through town, she will always hold onto your hand, filling the air with her voice to try to make you comfortable.

Interacting with people is very hard and scary for you, so she had the idea of bringing you with her when she's running errands, much like Thoma, so that you can see how she interacts and talks with other people.

Always reminds you to take it easy! You're already making big steps towards controlling your anxiety by going out every day and buying things you need.

She'll bring you along to play with the children or to shoot fireworks, hoping that while having fun, you'll relax enough to speak up a bit more.

When something is too much, she'll pull you away from the situation and ask if you want to go home. If you say yes, she'll go with you, but if you insist on staying, she'll keep more of a close eye on you.

Nilou

She hugs you when you tell her you have social anxiety.

It's okay! Nilou will be with you the entire way, so please, rest assured. She will extend her hand and let you take it as much as you need.

She's a sweet girl, polite and humble, so most of her advice to you will be to remind you to stay polite towards people you don't know- most of those people won't expect more than that from you, so it'll be okay.

Privately dances with you and tells you to imagine you're standing on stage with her. Let your body do the talking, release your stress and express yourself with your movements together with her!

She's heard that acting helps people who are bad at speaking or lack confidence... so maybe she could ask someone at the Grand Bazaar to help you with that?

Much like the others, Nilou will want you to tag along with her and will tag along with you if you feel like you can't go out alone.

Lets you try to do all the talking, but if you get too stuck in your anxiety, she comes to your rescue and speaks for you.

Nilou won't ever get frustrated with you, so don't worry! No matter how many times you stumble in your words, she will always be there for you!

fallinfl0wers. 2022.

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fallinfl0wers · 1 year

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i've never actually done this so this is kind of new haha. i might be doing this wrong? >.< your writing is really cool so im a bit nervous to send this. :'D would it be possible if i requested heizou with a reader who is a hopeless romantic but is really dense to signs of affection and flirting and stuff like that so they don't know heizou really likes them? preferably a male reader if that's alright. thank you and take care! <3

fandom: genshin impact characters: heizou reader type: hopeless romantic, dense!male reader summary: heizou can piece together many mysteries, but your contradictory, adorable self, is not one of them. genre: fluff warnings: none i think. notes: thank you for your compliment <3 lemme tell you my friend, I FEEL THIS REQUEST IN MY HEART! oh boy, i feel you, i get it!!! its me i'm the hopeless romantic dense dumbass who can't tell when someone's flirting with them! <': here you go, hopeless romantic, yet denser than a rock fellow <3

Heizou wonders how can a person be so smart, yet so astonishingly dumb at the same time?

He wonders this, sighing again, while he sees you excitedly discussing with one of your friends the plot of a romance light novel you've been reading.

You smile and blush so cutely, saying how these two HAVE to end up together because the male lead has been so blatantly obvious with his flirting and the other love interest just doesn't treat the main girl right-

And Heizou just slaps his face with endearing desperation towards you.

Simply put, you're Heizou's crush. You've been his crush for a very long time.

It is quite unfortunate, but you don't have Heizou's intuition or deduction skills to figure out his feelings for you...

But, really, dude? He's very obvious with his intentions! How can you not see it?

The world may never have an answer to that question...

You're the most hopeless romantic man he's ever met.

And also the densest man he's ever met.

Because one moment he'll hear you say all these things about soulmates and what the ideal relationship is for you or how you define what love in a romantic relationship is and all things of the like-

-And the next he'll be asking you out on a date to have dinner together and you're just smiling at him like "Sure, Heizou! I'm always happy to have dinner with my best friend!"

Or saying something like "Ah, you're feeling lonely? That's cute~ But don't feel lonely, I'm here for you, my friend!"

Heizou will stop at nothing to drill it into your thick skull that he likes you! Not as a friend, not as a buddy, definitely not as a bro!

He likes you like a husband likes his spouse- likes you in the "i want to hold your hand and hug you and kiss you in a not platonic way"- likes you romantically!!

...But you don't get it, so poor Heizou lol

You're annoying (/pos) and endearing, so he won't pressure you and will keep trying his best to make his feelings clear!

If somehow all his hints and flirting keep fling above your head (yes)

Expect to one day be at the receiving end of a kabedon coming from a blushing Heizou spelling it very slowly for you: "I like you a lot and want you to be my lover. And I am serious."

fallinfl0wers. 2022.

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fallinfl0wers · 1 year

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if you knew, you would understand. (you wouldn't).

fandom: genshin impact characters: xiao reader type: female summary: xiao has lost you far too many times. when the perfect opportunity is set up by fate, he doesn't let you go. genre: angst no comfort. warnings: yandere, non-consensual kissing (once). death (reader's. like many times, in different ways: crushed to death, falling to death, he has to kill you once, i don't think it's too graphic though...). notes: this is not very halloween-ish, and i don't think it's creepy? almost everything is written in xiao's pov, so it's kind of his descent into yandere-ness? but even then i'm not really sure if it's okay HAHAHA, please let me know if you think i missed something for the warnings and i'll add it asap!!! wordcount: 2905

The first time Xiao met you, he didn't think much about you. You were a human, like many others he'd seen through the ages. There wasn't anything outstanding about you; you were simply the youngest daughter of a family of farmers and there was nothing that made you stand out, in between the waves and waves of normal people, you were just another one.

This happened long, long ago; back when the powerful Conqueror of Demons wasn't the last standing Yaksha, at a time when the Archon War still hadn't come to an end anywhere, including what we know today as Liyue.

The first time Xiao fell in love with you, he could dub it as an accident.

You didn't catch his eye because you had unparalleled beauty (not to say you weren't beautiful to him, however, as far as he cared, aesthetics and beauty standards weren't something to spare a single thought. He has never been one to truly care about such things, perhaps out of his deeply rooted feeling of unworthiness and repulsiveness, he considered himself to be the last thing to have a right to judge someone's outer appearance). In fact, he didn't even know your name during the first four years his feelings for you started to bloom.

It was commonplace for humans to place food offerings for the Adepti, and although he wasn't fond of human food apart from very specific tea blends with a very specific amount of sweeteners, sometimes one of his siblings would convince him to at least be there with them when this happened. It was during one of those times that he first saw you, all on your own, arriving at the same time as he and his brother did. You couldn't have been older than twenty nor younger than sixteen- for the era that elapsed at the time you could be consider one of the luckiest people who got to live a long life, but Xiao looked into your eyes and all he could see was a soul far too young and innocent, like this was the first live you'd lived. Upon their appearance you, being the well-mannered, respectful woman you were raised to be, bowed deeply to them in greeting.

It mattered little to him, as he was busy blinking owlishly at the strange, fluttering sensation that ran through his chest. It didn't hurt, so it couldn't have been karmic debt. What was it, then?

Looking back, it was love at first sight. He knew not enough to come to this conclusion back then, but he, with a nod of acknowledgement, accepted the ceramic bowl with almond tofu you intended to give as an offering before leaving for your home. Absentmindedly, he picked up the eating utensils left with the bowl, and put a small piece of the sweet treat on his tongue. Immediately, his eyes widened in shock at the familiar texture and the amicable, welcoming sweet flavor of the dish; a replacement for sweet dreams, it was. A replacement, but a very good one.

Xiao showed his gratitude to you for introducing him to such a delightful dish, something that quelled the ache on his tongue and his need for a sweet dream without having to harm anyone, and the way you smiled at him while saying you were only doing what you had to made his heart take a leap.

Looking back, he should've known- it had been love at first sight. A sweet, innocent crush he would've nurtured and looked after had he been anyone but who he was at the time.

The first time he lost you, he hadn't been there to see the moment it happened.

An enemy attack, as those were common at the time. Just this time, it had been a strong enemy who attacked the settlement of Rex Lapis' domain.

Only after everything was said and done, a victory for the mighty god of contracts, was when he saw you within the casualties.

As humans and adepti lifted up rubble to try and find survivors, or to give a proper funeral to those who had fallen, he saw you.

His breath got stuck on his throat for a moment, and his heart clenched painfully at the sight of your body, broken and bloody, crushed underneath the rubble of a building and rocks, skin sickly pale, eyes unfocused and void of light.

That day, he learnt your name.

The first time Xiao lost you, you were twenty three, and you had been about to wed a man you knew since childhood.

At the time, Xiao didn't understand why that knowledge made his chest hurt more. Was he feeling sad because you didn't get to marry the one you loved?

No, if he looked back, it hurt more because now that he understood his feelings, he would've lost you anyway. Wed to some man he didn't know, when all he could do was catch sight of you from afar once every moon...

(Xiao wishes to say he would've rather had that, having you spend your life married to someone who wasn't him, loving someone who wasn't him, instead of having you dead. Once upon a time, he would've. But now...?)

The second time Xiao met you, he couldn't believe his eyes.

It was perhaps a hundred or two hundred years after your first death.

He saw you as one of the many refugees that arrived from the lands of a different god; a far cry from the regular, kind woman you were when he met you for the first time, yet, physically you were mostly the same, and so was your name and voice.

Unlike the first time, this time you reminded him of his darkest days, before he was taken in by Rex Lapis. Flighty, scared of everything, malnourished, with dark bags beneath your pretty eyes. And he knows, because he took the time to check on you, without your knowledge... he knows you had recurring nightmares about whatever horrors you faced out there.

(If Xiao fought harder and harder than he usually would when going against that god's soldiers, no one could get a reason as to why out of him.)

"...!! W-who... who are...?" Your trembling voice asked him back then. Xiao, without stepping forward, spoke: "If you awake to a knife at your throat, if monsters dig their claws into you, if death comes knocking at your door... call out my name. Adeptus Xiao. I will be here when you call."

You called his name.

Once. And only once.

You called him, but it was too late. You were too slow.

Xiao thought he was the one who came too late, when it was you who called him a second too late.

As if slipping through his fingers like grains of sand, you fell. Out of reach, to your death.

That was the second time he lost you.

The third time he met you, he swore to him self he wouldn't let you be hurt again. Perhaps it had been his involvement with you, however small it was, that had cursed you. So this third time, he was going to keep more distance between him and you, only protecting you from the shadows, sending whatever small blessing he could your way.

And it worked.

Until you turned around and smiled shyly, looking around.

"I know you're there... and I know you're the one who's been protecting me this whole time. I'm not scared of you. Just... thank you, whoever you are."

Xiao hadn't been able to resist back then.

He stepped out of the shadows, and allowed you to talk to him. You were brighter, and warmer, when up close. He didn't bother trying to hide the pink blush that spread on his cheeks, merely looking at you in awe as you giggled at his expression; gently beckoning him to accompany you on a walk.

He said nothing, most of the time; unsure of how to interact, unsure of what would be appropriate to say, and unsure of why he was thinking so hard about what to say. Maybe it was because of his love for you, that he wanted oh so badly to do the right thing. But the poor man knew nothing of the intricacies of a human's mind and heart, knew nothing of the courting rituals one was supposed to follow in order to show interest to the object of one's affections. So instead, he kept providing what little he could to you.

His protection.

Sometimes, he would pick up flowers on his way to visit you. Other times, he would bring bright pieces of shiny minerals he knew humans seemed to be fond of, and you always accepted gladly all his gifts. You always responded by smiling at him and placing your hand on his face, gently caressing his cheek, letting him nuzzle into your warmth momentarily.

This part of his routine was what he loved most. To be near you, to listen to you speaking, to be able to show you he cared, to be able to protect you, to share what little peace still remaining on his life he had with you.

But, fate has never been kind to him.

Soon, you start falling ill. You cough and cough, and you tell him it's okay, just a cold. But then your illness doesn't stop, and you're too weak to go out like you used to.

It is not fair, he thinks, you're still young, you shouldn't have to be bedridden like that.

And the third time Xiao lost you, he knew it had been his fault.

He stared in horror as you whrited in agony in your bed, holding onto you head, crying and screaming and trying to scratch something off yourself, surrounded by a heavy, dark energy he knew all too well that spread through your veins all along your body, unable to speak or think.

His karma. His fault.

As much as you moved and howled, you were already dead by the time he found you. This was just the remnants of what you used to be, soul corrupted and torn apart from inside out in consequence of his existence and involvement with you.

He puts an end to your suffering, feeling as though a part of him is dying when his spear pierces your chest, and silently, tears run down his cheeks, and unto your cold and still, dead body beneath him.

He's dizzy as he stares at the husk of what used to be you, mind numb and noisy all at the same time, his eyes unfocused and zeroed on the blood that spills from your wounds and then your empty eyes, eyes that used to look at him with adoration and love, staring into nothing. He can't hear anything as he cradles your cold body close to his, wishing he had never gotten involved with you, wishing he could've prevented this, wishing you were still alive and well, with him.

This is the third time Xiao has his heart broken and a piece of his sanity cracking.

And it is not the last.

Years pass and pass without mercy, and no matter where he goes, he finds you again or you find him yourself.

It's a vicious cicle of you being there, being your beautiful, so easy to love self, Xiao loving you a little too much, and being unable to save you from an untimely end be it at hands of others, of your own nature, of yourself or even he himself. Whether he keeps his distance or not, he could never do anything for you.

Not protecting you.

Not saving you.

Not having you.

And perhaps, that was what hurt the most.

Because Xiao, flawed and broken as he was, loves you. From your first life and even now that he's lost you once again, he's been in love with you and everything you represent in his mind that losing you every time makes his soul break just a little bit more.

Xiao desperately wanted to hold you tight.

He wanted to live with you.

He cursed at his own existence, blaming his karma for everything that happened to you.

Every time he met you again he kept on thinking about how different things would be if only he had been anyone else but himself.

If only he wasn't the dull, pathetic excuse of a weapon he was.

If only he could be stronger.

If only he could be human.

If he were human, maybe he wouldn't have doomed you to this cicle of endless violent deaths and rebirths.

If he were human, maybe he would've been able to properly love you and make you happy instead of cursing you for his attachment to you.

The last time Xiao meets you, he stares.

He hears that blond traveler call you by the name he knows by heart, and he sees you laugh with her and it's the sound of that pure laughter that always makes his heart flutter. He looks at you, and he knows it's you.

He briefly sees the traveler walking away after whispering something to you and pointing upwards, and he can hear his name in the wind.

"-guy named Xiao. Please hand it to him while I finish my commissions."

And once you're there, standing in front of him, holding a ceramic bowl with almond tofu, asking if he is 'this guy named Xiao' and telling him that 'Lumine was too busy but she would come later', his mind goes blank.

Because, unlike the past, when he'd only feel his heart fluttering and breaking at the sight of you, when he'd only find himself craving your presence and touch, this time, the ever present, pulsant agony of karmic binds was no more.

Dull. Silent. Gone.

Just because you were there, it disappeared.

Like you were cleansing his soul.

If his karma stops when you're around, that must mean something. It must mean this is a dream. And if it's not, then it must mean he can't harm you anymore.

But he's not the only reason why he's lost you in the past. Illnesses that could've been easily prevented, battlefields you should've never been present at, disgusting humans you should've never crossed paths with-- this world had taken you away far too many times for him to trust it with you.

You flinch, seeing how tears silently start falling down from the corners of his eyes. Yet, you can't bring yourself to be fully concerned for his wellbeing, not when his piercing gaze is staring at you, as if looking straight into your soul without any emotion being shown on his face or body language.

Shivers run down your spine, and Xiao doesn't see it.

No.

Xiao doesn't see you taking a step backwards, because he moves forward towards you with his mind reeling.

He's lost you far too many times.

This world has taken you away far too many times.

And if this time, by some miracle, you're immune to the harm his karma brings...

The only thing he can do, is take you away.

"W-wait... what are you--?" "I'm sorry." "What do you me---" "I won't lose you again. Not this time."

Before you can blink or scream or do anything, he's taken you somewhere you don't recognize.

It's a tiny room. Dark, and without windows. At least you think so, you can't see much before you're rapidly thrown down. Breath is knocked out of your lungs when he pushes you down against the floor, careful not to hit your head, holding you close and pressing his lips against you with desperation, tears dripping onto your skin as his inhuman strenght makes it impossible for you to fight back and you're scared, scared beyond belief, not knowing who this is, or what he wants or what he'll do-

But to Xiao, this is paradise.

Holding you close, kissing you, this is all he wants.

Perhaps to your relief, he doesn't wish (or perhaps, doesn't know it's possible) to go further than that, he just hugs you tightly, clinging onto you for dear life, frantically mumbling incoherencies about how this time it's going to be different, this time he'll take care of everything and won't let the world hurt you.

Xiao doesn't let go of you, even hearing the taquicardic rhythm of your heart and feeling your body shaking.

You're afraid of him.

But it's okay (it's not, please don't look at him like that, please stop shaking, please stop giving him that look please love him again)

You just don't know anything yet.

He'll tell you everything eventually.

Surely then, you'd understand.

Surely then, you'd understand and know he is the only one who can keep you safe, the only one who can make you happy.

Surely, once you know... you won't blame him.

Surely then, you'll smile at him again, and look at him with the same love you used to all those years ago.

Surely then... surely then... if he does this all, then surely...

...he can... keep you forever, this time... right...?

When Lumine goes up to the balcony, she feels unsettled at the sight of a broken ceramic bowl and spilt almond tofu on the floor.

She calls out Xiao's name in concern, and for the first time, he doesn't come.

No matter how many times she calls, he never comes.

fallinfl0wers. 2022.

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