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aseaofyoongi · 8 months
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my heart did | jjk
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jeon jungkook x reader (f)
genre: e2l | bully romance | smut | angst
rating: mature audiences only (strictly 18+)
summary: as soon as senior years comes to an end a lot of teens shed who we were and strive to be flourish into a more polished version of themselves. although, broken hearts aren’t so quick to heal what happens when thoughts reveal all we need to know?
warnings: lets begin.. themes and mentions of bullying; brief physical violence; brief mention of blood; bickering; denial of feelings; mention of less than ideal parents; cliche high school themes (in flashbacks); foul language; oral (m. receiving); penetrative and unprotected sex; clitoral stimulation; nipple play; thigh riding; vag fingering; overstimulation; sub!jjk themes - he is a good boy; he uh.. arrives on her face.. anyways; i hate this trope ugh but miscommunication; jjk has a big d!; not edited.
word count: 25,5 thousand words
posted: wed sept. 6, 2023 at 12:28PM
notable songs: like i want you - giveon | thinkin bout you - frank ocean | like or like like - miniature tiger | war of hearts - ruelle | sunday morning - maroon5 🎧
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The sun is now setting. 
Behind you as the last hours of the late summer evening approached the sun was beginning to finally pucker its lips against the horizon, as a result, the sky became dusted with hints of deep orange, yellow and purple. The clock finally struck nine o’clock and you couldn’t help but slump down on the palms of your hands, sitting behind the main desk on the same stool you had been since the beginning of your shift. Your pupils followed as the little hands on the clock hung on the opposite wall seemed to move slower and slower, completely freezing you in time. 
Fucking Mondays. 
You sighed. When you had initially signed up for the work study position at the library you thought things would be just a bit different. 
For example, you thought being a staff member here would get you free access to course books and materials but that wasn’t the case. Right before you’d been hired, some idiot named Yoongi who worked behind the help desk at the computer lab was caught selling copies of the course materials to multiple students on campus. 
Like—right before you were hired and now that privilege had been swiped right off the tip of your fingers the moment your member badge had been printed. 
Secondly, time behind that rotating door at the main entrance just stopped. No, more like slammed down on the brakes abruptly the moment you crossed that threshold. There were no warnings or brake lights or even a bright sign to apprise in advance. 
Another drawn out sigh escaped your lips. 
There was no exaggeration in your boredom, however, besides the ‘promises’ of saving money on school materials vanishing entirely, you still needed the monetary earnings so you hid behind a fabricated smile and immediately accepted the job offer happily. 
Well, as happily as you could be. 
God, you were jaded. Five after nine. Only five minutes had gone by yet it felt like an eternity. 
Your mind was on overdrive yet your body remained stationed in the same exact place—in the same exact position. Not a single tendon transposed and they constricted your muscles in place. You were there sort of glued to the metal surface of the stool but fuck did you wanted to move. 
Needed to actually. You needed a sort of mobile stimulation but still you couldn’t seem to get your arms and legs to comply. Not until your focus circled around your extremities and your need to just fucking. . do something. 
You crossed your legs to the left, then to the right, then you hung your legs on the wooden bar under the desk to give them a rest from just hanging on your side, then you sat with your legs spread open before realizing you wore a skirt and you quickly pressed your thighs together tightly. Shift after shift you grew more angsty, more impatient, more exasperated with the sluggish speed the hours of the night adopted. 
Slowly, you reached into your bag and unwrapped a piece of gum before sticking it in your mouth. You chewed slowly. Seven after nine, only two minutes have gone by since you last looked at the time. 
Okay, maybe if you number your chews to the rhythm of each second then time will somehow speed by. Right? You began your countdown backwards from sixty. 
You chewed down on the watermelon flavored stick of gum. Sixty. 
Again, fifty-nine. 
And, again,  fifty-eight. 
Once more, fifty-seven. 
In just a matter of minutes the sky behind you turned pitch black and finally the stars came out to play, they pranced around dancing in the sparkling delight and you couldn’t really help but envy their freedom as they lived without confinement. 
“Tell me something. .” You quickly registered that irritating tone, that very familiar and insipid, absolutely annoying and vexing tone. The same one which sent a bubbling shot of acid to course into your bloodstream every time you were faced with the disdain of hearing it, “should I reprint you a copy of the employee manual? Last time I checked skirts above the knee and gum chewing are strictly prohibited in the work place.” 
You leaned your head to the side, narrowing your eyes in his direction as he stood by the doorframe, “you’re not the supervisor, let alone the manager,” you murmured through gritted teeth, “fuck off.” 
He shook his head slowly while clicking his tongue. He was mocking you, the little shit was mocking you, “Not a manager. Just someone who likes to enforce the rules especially comes to you.” 
“Rule enforcer?” you scoffed, chewing louder and louder as you chomped down, purposefully smacking your gum in the process, “sounds a lot like you being a little bitch. I guess it’s all just the same to me.” 
“Bitch?” he guffawed. 
“Yes, that’s what I said,” you challenged. 
“Mini skirt, gum chewing, and foul language. You’re really making this so easy for me,” he mocked. 
The extent of your interactions were always, always, reduced to this. Just the endless streaks of taunting, the continuity of poking at each other buttons beyond forgiveness, and to top it all of the boiling irritation cooking up in the pit of your stomach. 
As far back as you could remember there wasn’t an ounce of amiability in the mixture of your interactions together. 
You and him met the summer before the ninth grade. From there on you knew him once classes began. Well ‘knew’ was a very loose term in this situation. The two of you were just teens, fifteen years old to be exact, in the same school, in the same home room, yet from different cliques. 
His brown eyes drank you in like he was consuming every inch of your soul—it was invasive, intimidating, and exactly what you deserved. Deep down you were one hundred-percent sure of the fact. 
“What?” you barked. 
“Just remembering the good old time,” he smirked, “the ones where words remain your preferred and deadliest weapon.” 
What transpired from that night was nothing compared to his cold gaze and punctured words. 
Faint lights of that night sparkled into memory, years have passed but you remember every detail as if it was just yesterday. 
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The school bathroom was your least favorite place in the building, it was usually crowded with destined criminals, the stench was horrid and it was the obvious root of every ridiculous rumor to ever be birthed within the walls of Oakwood High School. 
You leaned against the white ceramic sink, your back faced the stained plastic mirror as you faced him sitting on top of the toilet tank. He was the personification of trouble, the very synonym of everything you needed to stay away from. 
The two of you came from two different worlds. 
He was draped and wrapped up in a black hoodie, complemented by dark distressed jeans while his rugged and muddy boots stained found camp on the toilet seat, staining it beyond repair. 
“What exactly is it that you need from me?” he asked, his tone wasn’t as stern or deep as you usually heard around the halls. There was a slight stutter; a falter. 
“It’s more than one thing,” you exhaled, your eyes flickered between him and the stall just to the right of him, “. .that I need from you.” 
He hummed, “go on.” 
The sun trickled in through the foggy windows and it embellished very detail, every feature that you had never once before noticed on the boy before you. His eyes were giant orbs almost doe like, his lips were a deep taint of roseate the same one which dusted the apples of his cheeks. There was a certain delicate look behind the dark aura he cemented within himself. 
You took paced steps in his direction feeling just a bit dizzy the closer you became. 
Perhaps, it was that overbearing piss smell. 
Or, perhaps, you just didn’t want to go through with this. You wanted to call this off but there was this fervent exhilaration burning just below your skin—you wanted to continue speaking to him, you wanted to envelop yourself in the softness of his lips. 
But this wasn’t right but you couldn’t help the guidance of your feet, until finally you stood right before him. 
Up close his eyes were prettier, shinier yet darker and you easily found yourself swimming in them engulfed in vastness simulating the bottomless sea. 
He was everything you wanted and everything you needed to stay away from. 
Two different people. Two different worlds. 
“Are you going to tell me what you need?” 
“I think,” your palm landed on his knee for support as you climbed onto the toilet seat taking a seat on his lap, “it’s much better if I show you.” 
By now, and by the radicle of his reputation you expected for him to push you right off his life, for him to gargle the disgust in the back of his throat and regurgitate it right back on you. But he didn’t instead his gaze intently followed you every move, he probably already noticed your quivering figure hiding behind your confident facade. 
There was no shaking off this nervousness, even but in your mind you reminded yourself that you were you and he was simply him. 
“Show me what exactly?” he swallowed, his Adam's bobbed distinctively, “you know this is the first time you’ve ever uttered a single word in my direction.” 
“I highly doubt that,” you hid your nervousness behind the security of your confident tone. 
“It’s true,” he continued, “I bet you have never even noticed that my locker is directly across from yours.” 
“Wait. .” You hooked your bait, hanging it low over his head attempting to reel him in once and for all, “do you spend your time in the halls looking at me?” 
“I never said—“ 
Your palms found their way up to towards the back of his neck and you inched closer to his face vividly detailing the golden tone of his glowing skin. 
You never noticed before, he was always an arm’s length away, which was probably your fault to begin with, but he was truly beautiful. 
“You did kind of imply it.” 
“I don’t think it works that way.” 
“Does to me.” 
His eyes remained on your lips as you tucked your lower lip under your upper teeth.  There was an unreadable expression ignited behind his pupils, something you’ve never seen before, not behind the frigid gaze of your best friends and it certainly wasn’t present in the way your boyfriend looked at you either. 
It held the comfort of tenderness and it wrapped you right into his warm embrace. 
“You know, you keep averting my question.” 
“Remind me, once again,” you smiled softly, “what is it that you wanted to know.” 
“What do you want to show me?” you pursed out your lower lip before licking them agonizingly slowly to almost emphasize their plumpness. While coating them in a thin layer  of the sheen shininess from your saliva. That put him in a trance, his eyes were locked on you intently. It’s working. 
“Kiss me,” you whispered, your lips hovered right over his, the waft of your paced breath fanned one another. His mouth was enveloped with the cool aromatic scent of mint. You liked that a lot—it drew you in. 
He froze against the white tiled wall behind him, his eyes were closed and he waited in anticipation of your lips finally meeting his. Instead, you took the liberty of snapping a mental picture. One you knew you would hang in the forefront of your mind for a very very long time, because after today, after the tones of both of your pink lips finally meshed together everything would go to shit. 
And it would all be your fault. 
“For someone who’s begging to kiss me you sure are taking your sweet time.” 
The pads of your fingers brushed against his velvet lips as they spread wide depicting his smile, in turn you’d notice the way that very smile trickled to everyone of his features. From the dimples impaling his honey cheeks to his scrunched up nose and brows scrunched up together. 
“I’m not begging,” you objected, laying against his chest—he was broad you could tell even under the dark clothes and he felt firm. All you wanted was to be cocooned in his heated touch. 
Even in the scorching summer his warmth is.. a solace. You didn’t mind being consumed by it burning in the flames ignited by his touch. 
“I asked. Just curious to know if you would even want to kiss me,” say no, run away, run away from me, you yelled at him in your head. 
“Curious?” 
You hummed, “So.. Do you wanna?” 
“Kiss you?” 
You hummed again, “I’m not asking for your hand in marriage. It’s just one kiss.” 
“Just a kiss?” He asks a lot of questions. 
“Okay,” he breathed. 
There were many things you forbid yourself from submitting to at the expense of your insatious desires. This included consuming sweets past eight o’clock, drinking any type of soda, and even suppressing anything you’ve ever felt for anyone in return for the validation of others. Deep behind the rhythmic beating of your heart you knew this should’ve also included kissing him. You knew you should’ve backed off, said no, avoided him as if he was something you ran away from. 
But you couldn’t help but be guided here by the pure delight of getting to have this for once. You wanted to be selfish and drown in those very desires you didn’t dare act on prior to today. Not under self-induced circumstances instead something you know could hurt him right after you pulled away from his lips. 
You were a wretched person but all you think about, all you cared about was the way he inched closer towards you, rapidly closing the gap between the two of you. The only sounds bouncing off the walls were your needy pants and the thump thump which composed a song out of the beats of both of your racing hearts. 
His head tilted slightly as he leaned in, his eyes explored every inch of your face taking in every depiction of your features. And no matter how many times you could attempt to hide it—he would know. He could clearly see the birth of the flames rampant behind the tones of your eyes. 
He nudged his nose against yours, and your mouths fell together, soft and open. You closed your eyes instantly and they felt heavy, almost as if your eyelids were glued together. Though, you urged to open them, to live in every single second your lips remained connected with his, because you knew this wasn’t likely to happen again. Not after today. Not ever. 
You couldn’t help but want to bear witness to the perfectness of your lips dancing against one another. 
His mouth was silken, you found yourself melting into his body, into his lips, into his touch. Nobody had ever kissed you with the unspoken one passion he was. 
No one. Certainly not your boyfriend. 
You allowed yourself to become drunk under his trance and he fed the butterflies flapping their wings against the lining of your stomach rapidly. 
You wanted to camp in the fondness of that moment forever, and ever. and ever. . . 
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Vacating the stool you stood by the large windows facing the parking lot behind the library. However, your attention was clutched by the sparkling stars, it was a form of a distraction. You wanted to stop thinking of him, his gaze seizing your figure tracing the outline of your legs, the curves and dips between your hips and waist and finally the sneaky peaks of your collar bones under your crop top. 
His eyes were hard to read making it impossible to decipher whether he undressed you or condemned your being.  
Though, you knew you deserved the latter. 
“Words were never my weapon,” you whispered the fib hoping that you would believe it if you heard it outloud. It didn’t work. 
He chuckled, “right. . your lips were the blades that pierced my heart and your words were the bullets that finished me off.”
“Jungkook. .” you trailed off. 
“What?” he spat, “can’t handle the truth?” 
Fuck, that hurt but you deserved it.  
“Jungkook, just shut up.” 
But his back was already turned towards you and his eyes no longer scanned you like you were the phrases typed on the pages of his favorite book. 
“I’m so. .” you began but you just couldn’t get it out. 
“There it is again,” Jungkook shook his head, clicking his tongue. 
“That’s not what I meant,” you sighed, collecting your thoughts why did you always manage to say the wrong fucking thing, “I’m just trying to apologize to you for. . everything.” 
“Right. . now?” he wore a puzzled expression, his eyes squinted with skepticism. Back in highschool Jungkok was quiet, shy and mysterious. He could’ve easily flown under the radar and lived his life in the seclusion of being a wallflower. But then you happened. You in that bathroom, on his lap with his lips on yours. 
Even now, years later, you could still feel their phantom softness on yours. 
You played with the loose thread on the hem of your top averting the scrutiny of the judgment in his eyes, “better late than never.” 
“You put me through hell and I’m supposed to act as if all is forgiven. Today, because you can no longer live with that guilt?” there was a smirk plastered on his face while traces of venom laced his words. 
“That’s not the reason why…” 
“Then, why… Why?” 
Words failed to roll off the tip of your tongue, and there was a cloud of shame hanging over your head but Jungkook was resentful and cold with his words and you knew that at this point your apology would do nothing to fix what was already broken. Nevertheless, you stood there like a child being scolded because the least you could do was be the receiver of his resentment. 
“Are you looking for a shot at self redemption? To feel better about yourself? Or maybe the guilt really is eating you bit by bit. Whatever it may be I don’t forgive you and I never will. You wanna know why? Because unlike others I’m not convinced that people like you can change,” he continued, there was a rampant anger burning in his eyes now, “you look back on our time in high school and feel this sense of. . relief that you were who you were. There is not an ounce of your being that would go back and change things and if we were to turn back time you would still choose to be the viper who could go around injecting your venom into others at free will. I know you just want to leap over that stepping stone and prove to yourself that you have grown-up but you can’t fool me and you will not make an example out of me.” 
“That’s not. .” you drifted off, tears swelled behind your eyelids but you blinked them away, “That’s not why I wanted to do Jungkook. .” 
“No?” he asked. 
“No,” you muttered through gritted teeth, mad at your past self for being a piece of shit, mad at him for not allowing you to speak, mad at life. Everything. 
“You want me to forgive you?” 
You remained quiet. 
“Then, beg.” 
“You know what?” You quickly wiped the tear that trickled down your heated cheek, “I actually did mean to apologize but I’m not sure that you actually deserve it anymore.” 
They say what comes around goes around and you were certain this was the circle of justice you would forever be looped in the extent of your interactions with Jungkook because, this is pretty much how they always played out.  He would never forgive you and you would never be able to form the right words to ease the pain of what you have caused. There wasn’t anything that you could do or say. 
Things would always remain this way. 
He turned away from you once again, “if I don’t deserve your apology that only proves you don’t deserve my forgiveness.” 
You looked at the clock on the opposite wall, it was now finally thirty minutes past nine and you were due to go home. To be embraced by the comfort of your sheets, to bask in their warmth, something less chilling than his frigid words. 
Grabbing your bag you slipped past him hoping that you would now stoop to becoming nothing but an insipid wallflower. 
Entirely, invisible. That’s all you wanted to be. 
Fucking invisible. 
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Your cloak of invisibility was short lived because as soon as you crossed the threshold to your dorm you were met with a crowded living room. Amongst the faceless features of the random strangers spread out in the tiny space you spotted a similar face belonging to the biggest pain in your ass and roommate adjacent, Hobi. 
You trudge through the ocean of bodies, resisting the sway of the waves leading to bump to those in your way, simply wanting to get as far away from whatever this was as soon as possible. When Hobi’s eyes finally met yours you signaled him towards using your pointer finger—quickly, his smile dropped, beads of sweat adorned his temples and his head hung low. 
A party on a Monday was… Definitely, Hobiesque. 
With paced strides he stumbled towards you following you down the small corridor and into your room. Hobi’s eyes hung low, the buttons on his shirt hung open all the way down to the pit of his stomach, his cheeks were red and puffy, his hair the right amount of disheveled, and he had a tight grasp on a nearly empty red solo cup (it definitely didn’t look like it was his first or last drink). The  lights were dimmed but even under the shitty lighting there was a bright glimmer outlining his figure. 
“Now, before we begin this intervention,” his words were a bit slurred, “I had a really shitty day.” 
“Yeah, that makes two of us,” you hung your bag on the hook behind the door and threw your keys on the desk. 
He slumped down on your bed and stared up at the ceiling with a blank expression—you weren’t sure if the shift in his usual energetic charisma was due to the alcohol but you didn’t like it. You were so used to seeing his heart shaped lips spread into wide curves showcasing the amiability of his colorful personality. 
“Okay, which one of us should go first?” he asked. 
“Don’t you have a party to get back to?” you sat by the pillows on the bed, your back leaning against the headboard, your legs pressed up against your chest as you laid your head on your knees. 
“I’ll get back in a minute,” he replied nonchalantly, “just tell me about your day.” 
Hobi laid his head closer to your legs, quickly you found your fingers combing through the dark strands with a thin layer of sweat. There was a cool draft slipping in the room through the window left slightly ajar. The bittersweet flashes of your time in that library behind the main desk played back in your mind. 
“I saw… spoke to Jungkook tonight,” your voice was soft, almost hoping he wouldn’t hear. You and Hobi have been friends since your senior year in school and while he wasn’t there for the horrid days of your freshman year tyranny you confessed to everything you had done during those dark days—everything that happened with Jungkook. 
“Spoke?” 
You nodded. 
“You two have the same work study you’ve spoken to each other before right?” 
“Yeah, but our conversations are always reduced to nonsensical banter. He pushes my buttons and I push his, sometimes we even land a few jabs at each other when the other isn’t looking but today,” you felt at ease sitting there in Hobi’s company, the only noise surrounding the two of you came from the booming of the loudspeaker stationed in the living room, “…it was personal.”
“How personal?” he continued peering up at you with idle eyes. 
“I tried to apologize for, well you know.. everything,” you sighed, “and things didn’t really go as planned. Stupid of me I know.” 
“Definitely, not stupid. You tried to make things right. There’s no harm in that,” his thumb rubbed your hand softly as it wrapped around your shins. 
“There was definitely a lot of harm done.” 
“You’re right,” he mumbled, “what you did is not justified, but all that matters is that you are trying to make things right and we can only hope he is willing to forgive.” 
Jungkook’s vicious words played on a continuous loop in your head. He was not willing to forgive. He never would be and sincerely you couldn’t blame him for him. 
This guilt. 
It will eat you alive and as a result you will experience a slow and excruciating death. A well deserved demise and one that became written in the stars for you the moment you kissed him in that fucking bathroom. 
Still, a timid smile slowly creeped on your lips. Hobi’s hopefulness is your safety net, the only thing you could ever need to keep pushing forward. 
“Enough about me and my self-inflicted issues,” you cleared your throat, “what’s got you so down today, sunshine?” 
“We broke up.” 
You laid beside him on your bed, reaching down taking his hands into yours hoping he’d feel the same deal of comfort you do by him. 
“What happened?” you offered. 
“I was in my dance practice and he—“ he paused, “he just fucking texted me. Said he couldn’t do it anymore.”  
“Did something happen before all of this?” 
“We’ve been on a bumpy road lately,” he hesitated before continuing—you guessed it was because he was trying to structure his thoughts, “two dancers dating bring a conflict of interest into a relationship.” 
“Please tell me you guys aren’t just fighting over your choreography.” 
He remained silent before continuing. 
“You two are going to send me into cardiac arrest,” you shook your head, “I need details, Jung.” 
“Don’t call me, Jung,” Hobi poked out his lower lip, frowning, “makes me feel like I’m in trouble.” 
“I can’t be mad at you when you’re so adorably tipsy,” you pinched his rosey cheeks.
“Stoooop,” he swatted your hand away from his face while stretching out the letter ‘O,’ “I’m being serious though. I think it’s really over between Jimin and I, forreal this time.”
“You’ve said that every other time the two of you have broken up over dance.” 
“Right. .” he yawned, cozying up under your sheets while his eyes began to close. 
“Oh, no,” you smacked him upside the head with one of your cushions, “get up and go host your little party.” 
He brushed it off turning before turning away from you, his soft snores now a remix to the music playing just outside of your door, “who the fuck throws a party on a Monday. . Hoseok, get up!” 
“I know, you’re so irresponsible for letting me throw a party on a weekday.” 
“Bitch.” 
As it turns out, kicking people an hour after a party had started wasn’t as easy as it looked. Leaning against the front door you finally came face to face with the mess left behind. The music still played, though, much lower now and there was an array of empty beer cans, red solo cups and other waste decorating your living room. 
It was as if you were standing in front of the mirror looking back at yourself, you were nothing but a mess of a human being. It was uncanny. 
Although, this mess you could clean, and you would, you weren’t sure if Jungkook would ever allow you to pick up all of those broken pieces that you had shattered all of those years ago. 
For what it’s worth you really wanted to try. You wanted to make things right. 
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It is now Tuesday and the weather is horrid. 
The last time you checked, the forecast called for scattered showers and mostly cloudy days. But, now it’s one in the afternoon and as you settle down on the bench by your bay window overlooking the narrow street, the sky was overtaken by the torrent clouds weeping viciously accompanied by the occasional strikes of loud thunder. 
Usually, when the weather looked as shitty as you felt you opted for staying home and becoming enveloped in the comfort and warmth of your sheets, today would have been no different but of course luck is never present in the deck of cards paving your life, also having an irresponsible roommate usually doesn’t help in any way.
“Please, don’t forget my ginger ale,” he coughed dramatically, running his hand through his disheveled hair, “I can’t believe I feel like literal shit.”
“You can’t believe it?” You sneered, “you drank half of your alcohol supply before I even made it home and the party had only been on for like thirty minutes.”
“Fuck, I did that. Didn’t I?” 
“You did,” you playfully yanked your covers off his body, “you drunk fuck.” 
“That was my nickname in highschool,” he smiled. 
“It was,” you zipped up your rain jacket and grabbed the umbrella sitting on your desk, “now go take a hot bath and don’t throw any more parties while I’m gone.” 
You heard his infectious giggles as you closed the front door behind you. The two of you lived on the third floor so the walk down the stairs to the lobby wasn’t too unbearable. Through the clear doors of the main entrance in the rain you saw how the downpour fogged up the path ahead. Namseok’s Kitchen is only a five minute walk, you can do this. 
Walking out you opened your umbrella and stood still for just one minute paralized by the pitter patter of the droplets meeting your umbrella. 
It was the beat to a dreadful song you knew too well. 
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You pushed past the blue metal doors of the gymnasium. Your nostrils are no longer consumed by the smell of sweat and dirty laundry and the muffled conjunction of laughter, voices, bouncing balls, and whistles died out the minute the door closed behind you. 
Gym class was a drag and there was truly nothing worse than an hour long class period with sweaty kids in such a tiny space. Usually, you opted for walking on the track for the duration of class but that option became futile the moment it began to pour an hour ago. 
In fact it was still raining, but you stood under the navy awning covering you from becoming soaked. Your eyes are closed and you lean against the red brick wall inhaling the scent of petrichor, the resulting smell of the parched earth just as the pouring rain continues to beat anything standing right below it. The sweet aromas seeped into the air sweeping past your nose with the soft breeze that blew by. 
It was as if the earth had exhaled, emanating its distinct fragrance from millions of pinpoints all at once. Inside that smell, the seconds slowed and each moment seemed to dilute. It filled you with relief.  
Then, suddenly the remnants of your heaven became blurred and the walls holding up the roofs began to tumble down and with it a whiff of nicotine became tangled in your nose. 
Your eyes shot open and there he was, Jungkook. The boy you’d kissed a week ago in the boy’s bathroom. 
“Cigarettes are bad for you, you know..” You felt a knot in the pit of your stomach as soon as he turned. You heard what happened to him but you hadn’t gotten around to seeing him yet, you’d been avoiding him. 
“Yeah, I keep thinking I’ll quit and I can’t seem to make it past a couple of hours,” he was honest and he smiled, two characteristics you thought had died the moment your boyfriend’s fist met his face. He still had a soft purple bruise under his eye to prove it. 
“You need something else to get your mind off of it.” 
He threw the butt of the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it to put it out and leaned right beside you on the wall. Up close you saw a deep gash on the apples of his cheek, it was still red but stitched up. 
“I know.” 
“Are you really littering right now?” You eyed the discarded smoke under the tip of his chunky combat boots.
“Right, sorry miss president of ‘i love earth’ or whatever,” he bent over, picking it up and placing it in the pocket of black jeans, similar to the ones he wore that day minus the rips around the thighs. 
“It’s actually called, ‘advocates for planet earth’ for your information.” 
“I love earth sounds better,” he shrugged, “should consider the name change.”
“I’ll bring it up in our next meeting.” 
“I’m surprised,” Jungkook began, his eyebrows furrowed together and you could tell he was in a mental battle to continue, “that he lets you join cute little nerdy clubs.” 
Twenty minutes before you entered the boys bathroom last Thursday, you and your friends sat in the library during study hall, your homework long forgotten and with continued complaints of loud talking all of you had settled for a game of quiet dare or die. 
The set-up was easy. 
There were two piles out in-front of you, one die, one dare. The object of the game created by your friends was to choose a dare and record yourself completing it before the end of the school day or else you’d have to do something even more embarrassing from the die pile. 
Your dare was to graffiti the side of the school. A bit excessive, compared to the other ones which only called for kissing each other, going against school dress code for the rest of the day or skipping the last period. 
Ditching the crumpled up paper you chose a die deciding that whatever it was at least it probably wouldn’t come at the expense of being expelled. 
‘Kiss Jeon Jungkook (loser)’ it read. 
You could’ve said no but you didn’t. Instead you fed into the taunts of the very boy you’d find your eyes lingering after. The same boy who occupied your thoughts day and night, the same one who kissed you like no one else has and whose touch (though, brief)—permanently marked a trail of goosebumps only he could procure. 
“He doesn’t control me, Jungkook.” 
“He doesn’t,” Jungkook nodded, registering every gravity of your words which felt heavy on his tongue. If your boyfriend didn’t control you then that meant you had also dealt a hand at the countinuously fucked-up encounters between him and your boyfriend. But this also finally cemented the idea that you had kissed him willingly; you saw it in the way his eyes sparkled even when the sun had been hibernating for the duration of the day. 
He seemed to have finally realized that both of those could be true. That love and pain could dance together hand in hand when it came to the two of you. 
Your eyes scanned his chocolate ones, slowly reaching up using the pads of your finger to caress his cheek. They were full and warm and you were careful not to inch too close to the purple and green-ish spot under his eye. 
“Will you believe me if I tell you something?”
“Tell me.” 
“I really did enjoy that day.” You clarified, “our kiss despite what I said afterwards.” 
He chuckled, “hopefully saying me too doesn’t get me another black eye.” 
The tightness in your chest squeezed tighter and immediately you felt like you couldn’t breathe. When Jungkook was around you felt as if your heart and mind collided against each other and you were left in a daze, castaway in your own body and mind. Like, right now, your brain urged you to walk away and get as far away as possible from him but your heart called out to him and down that same path it set out a route leading to his silken lips. 
Your heart beat to a deep crescendo nearly synching to the sound of the beating rain against the awning just overhead. 
“Shouldn’t you be getting back to class?” 
Snapping out of your daydream you replied, “uh, yeah, I should get back.” 
“Okay.” 
“I’ll see you around.” 
Jungkook smiled, “I’ll see you around.” 
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The hefty winds blew your umbrella yet you remained in the same exact spot just a couple of feet away from the entrance to the dorm building. You were drenched from head to toe causing your gray sweats and hoodie to stick to you all while they weighed you down. Although you were inclined to move away from the droplets adorning your figure, your legs just would not submit to the command. 
The smell, the dark skies, and the feeling of the rain on your skin all ignited a sense of familiarity, contentment yet melancholiness. 
There were too many feelings jumbled into one. 
“If you stand here, like this, you’ll end up sick.”
You hadn’t realized your eyes were closed until the moment his voice overshadowed the roaring screams of the pouring rain. Jungkook’s outfit mimicked yours slightly but even you could admit he looked much better than you. He wore gray sweats and a gray hoodie draped off his shoulder over a white wife beater. His tattoos peeked through outlining the beginning of the sleeve following the length of his extremity down to his fingers. 
He’s breathtaking, he’s always been. 
“I wasn’t aware that my well-being was any of your concern.” 
Jungkook combed his slender digits through his jet black hair inching closer to you until his umbrella covered the both of you, “it doesn’t,” he said, “ I just figured you were either drunk or too much of an idiot to be out in this storm.” 
“Well, in that case that makes us two idiots standing out in this weather.” 
“I was not out. I’m not crazy,” he cleared his throat, “I just so happen to see you through my dorm window.” 
He came down for you, “yet here you are now.”
“Need I remind you, if I wasn’t, you’d still be out here getting soaked.” 
“Soaked,” you snickered.
“Grow up,” his voice was laced with annoyance but the rose tint on his cheeks told you everything you needed to know. 
“Where did my umbrella even go?” 
He pointed to your feet where your Converse swam in a puddle and there was your unbrella was looking as fucked up as ever. Immediately, you made a mental note to never buy umbrellas at the dollar store ever again. You supposed that’s the only thing you were good at; making one wrong decision after the other. 
You huffed, “ah, I’m okay. It’s okay, I got it from here.”
“Were you going somewhere?” 
“You don’t have to help me, Jungkook,” you didn’t dare look at him because Jungkook was good at one thing, it was peeling back at your layers with his piercing eyes. He made you feel vulnerable—bare. And you always feared the psychedelic enchantment wiring in your brain whenever he looked in your direction. 
Back then that was your excuse for not helping him, for not being a better human being. It was a shitty excuse, you know that now but you always feared your willingness to succumb to your hearts’ cries. 
You feared falling into him—falling for him. 
“Ironic, isn’t it?” He laughed, “just lead the way. I have nothing better to do anyway.” 
“I was just going down the street to Namseok’s Kitchen to get Hobi some chicken noodle soup. He isn’t feeling too well this morning.” 
“That’s only a five minute walk,” he nodded toward the path ahead, “Let’s go.” 
Five minutes felt like an eternity as the two of you walked towards your destination in utter silence. The street was pretty empty—only Jungkook, yourself and the rain remained. . And your thoughts, of course. They ran at record speed as you tried to relive every single moment from your past, you know; divulging in all the good times and wanting to fix every fucked up thing you’ve ever done. 
If only you could turn back time you’d make things right. 
In an attempt to skip another puddle, to prevent your socks from becoming sodden you accidentally moved closer to Jungkook and your elbow brushed against his. The feeling wasn’t foreign to you and it transported you to those nights, all of those moment when your bodies were so close you could smell the soap he’d used that morning, cardamom and vanilla, the scent still lingered around in your nose and you wondered if you were just hallucinating or if he actually still used the same soap. 
“While you order I’ll get us something hot,” he walked you to the glass door of the small diner, then turned towards the coffee shop across the street. 
“Jungkook!” You called out and he looked back in your direction, “Hold on,” you dug in your pocket reaching for a ten dollar bill, “Here.” 
“Just worry about the soup and get one for yourself. Your body will thank you tomorrow morning,” he shouted back. 
He disappeared into the shop as cars sped by in his shadow. You almost didn’t believe he was just right there. With you. Was he?
The bell on top of the door chimed as you walked into the restaurant, the squishing sound of your drenched shoes against the white tile bounced off of the baby blue walls. As you walked closer to the counter you wrapped yourself in a tight embrace to provide yourself with some warmth against the blasted AC. The place has always been light on decoration and made to feel more homey than anything else. There was a faux wall with photographs of customers hanging from loose thread, next to that there was a small circular table where the polaroid and its film was stationed. The remaining walls held all sorts of artworks in different shades of azure from Seokjin’s boyfriend, and Hobi’s brother, Namjoon. Towards the front was your favorite place, a bench stationed in-front of the floor to ceiling glass window. 
Namjoon approached the register, “oh no, what the fuck did he do now?” 
“He threw a party and woke up sick as fuck. I was just coming to get him some soup. He’s said he would puke anything else.” 
“And that little shit made you walk?” Seokjin walked up behind Joon taking a seat on the stool beside him. “Look at you…” he motioned towards you and you took a look at yourself in the circular mirror hung behind the two guys, a fucking mess, “you’re all wet. Did he make you come here alone?”
Before you even had the chance to answer Jinnie continued, “I’m going to kill him. You hear me?” He turned towards his boyfriend, “I am going to kill your brother.” 
Joon mumbled, “I might just join you.” 
“Before your two go on a killing spree…” you leaned against the wooden surface of the counter, “I kind of offered because I felt bad for his dumbass.”
“He still let you come all the way down here in this weather and that is enough to plan a crime,” Seokjin hissed, “Joonie will you get her a towel from the back?” 
Joon disappeared behind the beaded curtain. 
“Okay, so one soup for the idiot and one for you?” 
You nodded, “yes, chicken noodle soup please. Can you make that three though?”
“Who’s the third one for?” He raised an eyebrow staring you down like you had an intimate secret you were keeping from him. Well, technically, you were keeping some things to yourself but you weren’t lying just withholding the truth. It wasn’t the same thing. 
“It’s for the person who accompanied me here today.” 
“And who is that?” Joon asked, they were both overprotective, like older brothers, “you only have one friend and unfortunately I am related to him.” 
“Not a friend. . Just someone I know.” 
They hummed in unison exchanging suspecting looks between one another. Then, the bell on top of the door chimed once again, the same way it did when you walked in. You didn’t need to look to know who it was, his scent gave him away immediately. 
“Hi, welcome to Namseok’s kitchen,” Jin greeted him. 
“Hey,” he walked deeper into the restaurant until he finally stood right next to you as you continued drying off, “here. I got us lemongrass tea. I didn’t know what you like so I figured I get you the same as me.” 
Grabbing the to-go cup from his hand, you reply, “yeah, I like lemongrass tea.” 
You took a sip, basking in the heat of the piping hot liquid as it traveled down your throat and into your tummy. A tired whimper escaped your lips,  as you became entirely immersed in the flavors of the lemony taste exploding on your tongue. There was silence around you but you could feel three sets of eyes on you and instantaneously your eyes shot open. 
“I almost forgot Jin, Joon, this is Jungkook. Jungkook, this is Jin and Joon, Hobi’s brother and brother in law.”
“Nice to meet you.” 
“You, too,” Jinnie smiled in his direction and Joon followed suit, “Jungkook..” He repeated, “why does your name sound so familiar?” 
“I went to highschool with Hobi and..” he pointed at you, avoiding even the utterances of your name. There was no disgust lingering in his face but then again his expression was unreadable and you were sure he was masking his true feelings at the expense of the two men in front of you. 
“I knew it,” he clasped his hands together but as soon as you saw the thoughts wiring in his head and connecting together you shook your head to prevent him from continuing. Thankfully, he understood immediately, “yeah, I thought I had seen you before.” 
Jungkook also connected the dots because Jin hadn’t been in high school at the same time he was. Jinnie was three years older than you guys were and by the time he and Hobi had moved into town Seokjin had already graduated. But he was now aware that you had mentioned him in passing—now he knew that you had to have mentioned something about that time. 
“I’m going to go check on those soups,” Jin announced walking back towards the kitchen, “Joon, come on join me.”  
You walked past Jungkook with the brown cup held tightly in your grasp before taking a seat on the bench by the front window. The storm still ran rampant outside and the streets remained barren. Jungkook sat two tables down, near the wall, far away from you. 
“Do I owe you anything for the tea?” You mumbled holding up the cup in his direction. 
“I told you to not worry about it..” 
“I didn’t know Seokjin would bring that up,” you didn’t look at him, eyes lulled by your dusty white converse, “I didn’t know he would remember you.” 
“Just forget about it,” he shook his head, “you don’t need to explain.”
“No, I feel like I do.” 
“You don’t.” 
“Jungkook, please let me,” your eyes watered and your voice faltered. 
He sighed, taking a small sip of the tea before continuing, “please don’t explain. I don’t need an explanation. I have buried it all, it still lives in my head but it’s buried and I don’t need to resurrect the tsunami of emotions that comes along with that..” he pointed at his temples, “it’s still here but please do not awaken them. I don’t want to brush the brush off of those memories.” 
You two were the only people in the shop but you knew Joon and Jin were behind one of the walls eavesdropping. It was silent and the only noise in the small space was the whirring of the AC. 
“Are our good memories also buried somewhere?” You knew better than to ask but you needed to know. 
“I put those to rest first,” he admitted and your heart sank, “those memories, although good, were an incitement to everything else that lingered right behind. I had to get rid of those memories to get rid of everything else.” 
“Okay,” tears were beginning to swell up in the corners of your eyes and you tried your best to blink them away, “yeah, that’s okay. I understand why you had to do that.” 
“I’m sorr—” Jungkook began. 
“Don’t, please, you’re not the one who should be apologizing to me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let you do that.” 
The bell at the front desk chimed, ripping your attention away from Jungkook. Seokjin stood behind the counter holding two paper bags, “order’s up.”  
Walking up you thanked him and grabbed the bags, “thanks. I’ll have Hobi venmo you for this.” 
“Don’t even worry about it,” he smiled softly, “free lunches till you guys graduate remember. That goes for you too now, Jungkook.” 
“You don’t have to do that.” 
“I want to,” he handed him the smaller bag, “I mean it. I better see you around here more often.” 
“Thank you,” he smiled brightly, the kind of smile you hadn’t seen him wear in years. It was radiant and lit up his face with warmth. The indents on his cheek were deep and they framed his rose lips like they were a work of art. Not even the silver hoop piercing his bottom lip shone as brightly as he did when he smiled. You almost forgot how good it looked on him and you couldn’t help but stand there and admire him taking mental pictures to keep forever. 
He deserves someone better. Someone who’s going to make him smile like that until the end of time. Someone who wasn’t you.  
“And thank you for coming along with her since Hobi couldn’t.”
“It’s no problem.”
“I would offer you guys a ride back home but Jin and I walked to work today. Guess we didn’t really think things through either.” 
“It’s okay, Joon,” you zipped up your rain coat and pulled the hood over your head, “it’s only a five minute walk back.” 
After thanking Jin and Joon, the two of you exited the store and cut in through the alley way before landing on the road leading back to the dorms. Once again, the two of you stood dangerously close to one another radiating off each other’s body heat and before you knew it the building came into view and Jungkook led you up the walkway leading you to the main door. You didn’t want to let him go. You didn’t want him to leave you but it’s not like you could actually say that. 
You were a mere burden jumbled into bad memories and the worst years of his life.
“Thank you for coming along,” you pushed the thoughts although you don’t think you could ever really get rid of them. 
“No thanks needed. I couldn’t let you take the trip on your own, especially not in this weather.” 
He couldn’t let you. Your heart began to race as you tried to keep yourself from reading too much into his words. They probably didn’t mean anything… But what if he still cared? What if Jungkook still cared about you? 
“See you around.” He nodded before heading off in the direction of his dorm. 
I shouldn’t have said anything.
You turned around, but Jungkook was no longer near. His back was turned in your direction as he continued trotting down the sidewalk. Great! Now you’re hearing voices, after reaching for the metal door handle the voices reappeared. 
 Our memories are flavored in bitterness but I still can’t get her off my mind.
Jungkook was gone. 
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The thing about rumors is that they spread like wildfires and no matter how hard you work to extinguish that fire it is always too little too late. That’s how you felt as soon as you crossed the threshold from the bathroom and into the congested hallways. Everyones prying eyes read you so intently condemning you for the hypocrisy of allowing someone like Jungkook to permanently ink his lips on yours. The passionate dance the two of you composed left behind the imprints of his lips as he tattooed your skin with each one of the pecks he left behind.  
Your phone buzzed in the back pocket of your jeans. You pulled it out, unlocking it, quickly seeing the photo your friend had snuck of you on his lap pop up. Your mouths devour one another and your bodies pressed together closely while your hand rests on his shoulder. 
You wanted to frame it—live in the pixels of that picture forever. 
‘Death complete bitch.’ Your best friend’s text read below the photo, ‘I can’t believe you actually kissed him.’
‘I can’t believe I did it either.” 
‘What was it like?’
The worst part about it is that it had to come to an end. Your mind traveled an hour back and you recall the velvet feel of his lips as they moved against yours mimicking the softness of clouds. At the sametime his tongue was saccharine tasting of the sweetness of strawberries and maple syrup leading  you to guess he had either waffles or pancakes for breakfast that morning. 
All you wanted was to run back into that bathroom. 
‘Nothing memorable. Just glad it’s over.’ 
‘Don’t worry you won’t ever have to kiss him again.’
Yeah, that was the fucking problem. You wanted to kiss him again, preferably you wanted to kiss him forever. 
‘Yeah, thankfully.’ 
You didn’t know when that kill switch that made you a complete and utter bitch was flipped on, but all you remember were those calamitous days when you didn’t really know who you were and who you were meant to be. Those days were marked with pen squiggles, they were blurred and you chose to permanently turn the light off and lock the door behind you in that section of your brain. 
Middle school was rough to say the least. But that was the beginning of your novel and you knew perfectly well who you were now. 
You had the friends you did because they made you look good, you had the clothes you did because you had a reputation to uphold and you had the boyfriend you did because someone like you is supposed to be with someone like him. Those were the simple unspoken rules of high school and at first they  were easy to follow until they weren’t. 
Everything was simple until that summer before freshman year. The day you visited the park near your house and you spotted him, with his chunky black boots and signature black outfit matching his jet black hair. The two of you were only fifteen then but he already had a tattoo on his wrist peeking out of the sleeve of his crewneck, back then he didn’t have his lip piercing—not yet at least. 
“I thought you only hung out in abandoned buildings and sketchy alley ways,” you remembered telling him that and the two of you spent hours on those swings talking the afternoon away. Back then, you learned Jungkook was a gentle giant disguised in an intimidating disguise. He was thoughtful in the way he looked at life and dreamt about the future, he was caring in the way that he spoke about nature, tattoos, music and everything else he held a deep passion for and lastly, he was attentive in the way he listened to you thoroughly drinking in every detail you had shared.
That was the Jungkook that made you fall for him in the blink of an eye but back then you didn’t know who he was and you were certainly not made aware of how things would end up. 
 The bell dismissing you from your last period class snapped you right out of your thoughts and you dashed out the door of the classroom wanting nothing more than to escape home and be left alone to bask in your thoughts. 
“There’s a fight outside!” a few students called out running past you. 
“Let’s go!” someone else yelled across the hallway. 
You were nervous to ask but you did anyway, “fight? Who’s fighting?”
“Your boyfriend’s fighting someone,” a girl you didn’t quite recognize replied, “Jungkook, or something like that I think.”
By the time you made it to the parking lot there was already a crowd of people forming a circle around both boys. Jungkook held his bloody nose while your boyfriend clenched and unclenched his hand, likely to relieve the pain of hitting Jungkook. You ran in their direction but as you neared them you saw as the boy you called yours landed another punch on Jungkook’s face causing him to fall back on the concrete. 
He didn’t fight back, didn’t even respond to the other boy’s insult. He just sat on the ground holding his face waiting for it all to be over. 
“Hey,” you finally reached him, shoving him back to prevent another callous attack on the boy behind you, “what the fuck are you doing?” 
“I saw the fucking picture,” he muttered through gritted teeth. 
“The girls and I played a game of dare or death,” you explained, “it was only part of the death I had to complete. It didn’t mean anything.”
He lunged towards you and poked at your chest, “you still kissed him.” 
The crowd went silent and your boyfriend’s anger highlighted the very thing you’d intended to place under lock and key—your pretty little secret no longer a secret or even pretty for that matter. You felt light headed and you weren’t sure if it was the punishing rays of the sun or the mental strain this was all causing. 
You didn’t regret that kiss; you never would but you also thought that picture would stay between you and your friends.
A wave of murmurs swayed all around you and you knew your reputation was descending by the second. 
You didn’t dare look at Jungkook, you knew his hypnotizing dark eyes would make you crumble. Seeing him like that. . The way he did all helpless and unprotected would compel you to care for him and cradle him in your arms until nothing or no one else could hurt him, “It meant nothing. Okay?” You heaved, “It meant nothing.” 
Instead, you were dragged away from the boy your heart screamed out for. 
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Fuck, do I still like her?
Just shut up, Jungkook. It’s too early for this. 
I shouldn’t be asking myself that. Ever. 
Presently, you’ve gotten to know Jungkook for being reserved and fairly quiet, similar to how he was in high school except back then he actually spoke to you. But now, he is quiet and he doesn’t bother uttering a single word in your direction. The only times he ever addresses you is when he throws continuous jabs at you, landing every single one—he spews spiteful words of retaliation as a result of the shitty person were years ago and although you knew it was well-deserved that didn’t mean it hurt any less. Unlike his recently reserved outer shell, you quickly learned Jungkook’s mind traveled at the speed of light and for two days now, you could hear the constant battles of  thoughts breaking out in his head. 
Words crashed against each other; phrases were left abandoned half way through and ideas were left unfulfilled. 
You groaned smacking your silk pillow over your face, your mind was exhausted on overdrive and increasingly overheating all because Jungkook couldn’t ease his thoughts and empty his mind at five in the fucking morning. Who. . Thinks this much at such ungodly hours of the morning, the sun isn’t even up yet. 
The scattered clouds invaded the dark blue sky dusted in shades of purple. 
Does she think of me? 
I do. 
Did she ever feel what I felt when we kissed?
I did—I do. I still feel it. Similar to how the sun feels on you on a hot summer day, the sparks on their ignited route as they traveled through every single inch of your skin setting it alight even today. You felt it then and you could feel it now. 
Finally, his thoughts ceased and you guessed he’d probably drifted off into a slumber. He probably looked so peaceful you thought, grabbing one of your extra cushions, laid on your side and placed it in between your legs like a mommy pillow. Sleep came knocking on your door and your eyes began to feel heavy. 
Jungkook probably looked like an angel as he slept. You could picture him laying in a sea of his messy sheets against his golden tone. 
By the time you woke up once again, it was nine in the morning and the sun peeking in through the windows ripped you right out of your sleep. 
Your room door burst open, “hey! I knew you’d be awake. What do you have planned for the day?” Hobi took a seat on the edge of your bed. 
“Whatever happened to knocking? I could’ve been naked you know..” 
“We’ve seen each other naked plenty of times.” 
“Fair enough,” you laid facing the ceiling, “I wasn’t going to do much today just going to check Mr. Kim’s list. He posted it on the bulletin outside his class for our upcoming project.” 
“Do you want me to make you something to eat before I go?”
“I’m okay. Thank you, though.” 
He planted a soft kiss on your forehead, “I’ll be in the dance studio. You wanna come see me later?” His heart-shaped lips did very little to cover his pearly whites as he grinned, “I’ll give the front desk your name so they can let you up when you get there.” 
“Please, don’t forget like last time or I’ll have to fight someone for real this time,” you said. 
“Won’t,” he called out as he strutted towards the front door, “I promise. See you later.” You heard the door open and shut before you began falling asleep once again but the peace and quiet was very short lived because you heard him again. 
What did I even dream about?
You wondered the same. Was he the type to dream up cute scenarios in that pretty head of his as he drifted off for the night? Did your face invade his mind in the late hours of the night? You hope you did. 
Your name echoed in the basis of his mind followed by the emission of thunderous groans. 
He seemed. . frustrated. 
Ah, fuck. Yes, Jungkook just imagine it’s her. 
The image in your head was impure as soon as  you finally realized what Jungkook was actually doing. You’d imagined his hand disappearing under the base of the pyramid forming through his duvet. Stroking himself slowly, his head lolled back against his headboard, sweat glistening on his chest and forehead, while his eyes fluttered closed as his eyelashes batting away all reminders of reality. 
I want her touch—need it. So bad. 
You’d become too enthralled in the symphony of Jungkook’s whimpers that you hadn’t really noticed the death grip you had on your bed sheets as your knuckles turned white and the way your legs rubbed against each other in a desperate plea for some friction. 
This was private. Jungkook needed privacy and while your mind opened a portal which prevented that, the best thing you could do was ignore him and the sensual persuasion laced in his bedroom voice, no matter how desperately he called out for you, it wasn’t right. 
Ignore. 
God, I would fuck her so good. 
Think of something else. 
With my cock buried deep inside of her. Fucking her into my mattress until she’s shaking with the overbearing stimulation of pleasure. Until, even her own name becomes a mere afterthought. 
You grabbed your phone from the night stand but your lame attempt at a ‘distraction’ was useless. His words were addictive and you were already soaked right through your panties. Your sheets began sticking to your sweaty skin while Jungkook’s ardent words continued heating you up. 
She would take me so well. Fuck! 
A shower! That’s what you’d do—just take a cold cold shower to ease those thoughts and shut him out until he finally finishes. 
You hissed as the hard pressure of frigid water hit your body from the shower head, even this wasn’t enough to mask the way your body shuddered as Jungkook continued. It was even more enticing that after everything—after his hostile gazes and cold words your face was in the forefront of his brain as he touched himself.
His alluring thoughts kept on playing one after the other and your cunt became the victim crying out to him with patterned pleas he would never hear. Your juices strolled down your inner thigh mixed in with the streaks of water and you could no longer bear the desperate thumps of aching cunt. You were going mad, honestly his stamina and self control were all to blame. The combination was torturous.  
While you weren’t one hundred-percent sure of what he was doing the way his thoughts became sporadic weathering winds of pleasure and then tranquility. It was a cycle, he would be on the verge of succumbing to his peak and then all of the sudden he would stop. Before beginning once again and again and again. 
The viciousness of his desire lasted until right around the time you turned the shower off and you couldn’t tell if for the past twenty minutes you had been in your own personal heaven or hell. 
I hate how much I still want her. 
I hate that I can’t have her. 
You can have me, Jungkook. You can have me now, tomorrow and forever.  
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The heat was overbearing and you could feel the way your tank became soaked with sweat and the thin fabric stuck to your body. You heaved as you pushed open the glass door into the English building. Mr. Kim’s room was on the third floor and the bulletin board was stationed right next to his door. After opting out of climbing three flights of stairs you ride the elevator up and exit out to look at the posted partners for Mr. Kim’s upcoming project. Walking down the main hall you turn left and there it is—there he is. 
The simplicity of his outfit was composed of a plain white tee, gray sweat shorts, and over the ankle white socks tucked into black slides. The colorful ink adorning his skin still peaked under the sleeve of his shirt, his black wavy hair rested on the nape of his neck. 
The hallways were completely empty and his back still faced you so you kind of just stood there unsure of what to say or do. I mean you’d heard him masturbating just a few hours ago and while you truly did not mind even the slightest you weren’t quite sure how to even interact with him moving forward. While he seemed to despise you for the events that unfolded back in high school this morning was a complete change of events. His voice was dipped in sex as he moaned your name until he finally came. 
God, why was it so hot in here? Is the AC really off mid-summertime? 
“Hey,” his doe eyes stared at you, studying your off-putting exterior. Your eyes were blown wide, your tank was still soaked with sweat and you just stood there ogling him, “are you okay?” 
He stepped towards you with worrisome eyes. ‘Oh yes Jungkook, I’m okay. I’m just picturing the way your hand climbs up and down the length of your dick, head tilted back, mouth slightly opened as groans form at the root of your throat. You know, the way you probably looked this morning.’ 
Instead you decided on a soft, “I’m okay.” 
“You look like you’re about to pass out,” he placed his hand on your shoulder and you nearly fainted at the intense heat emitted from his skin to yours, “here, sit down,” he guided you to one of the lounge chairs sat opposite Mr. Kim’s class, “have you drank anything today?” 
How could you kindly explain that was not the kind of thirst you were looking to quench. 
“No. .” you shook your head.
“Okay, okay,” he grabbed a water bottle from the black backpack sitting at his feet. You hadn’t even noticed it before, you had been so focused on him the entire time, “here drink some.” 
The bottle was half empty meaning his lips were on it and now your lips would be on it too. This wasn’t really what you meant when you said you wanted to feel his lips on yours but you didn’t really mind either. 
“Yeah, sorry, I got thirsty on the way here,” he scratched the back of his neck, “I can get you one from the vending machine.” 
You must’ve been looking at the bottle resting in his grasp like an idiot, “no, it’s okay Jungkook,” you rested your palm on top of his hand, “it’s not like we haven’t kissed before right?” 
His eyes turned a shade darker than their usual brown and he cleared his throat, letting go of the water bottle right into your grip, “right.” he stepped back as if you were a cactus ready to nick him with one of your spines, “I was looking at the list for Mr. Kim’s class and we are partnered together with Jimin for the project.” 
“Okay, should we meet at my place tonight or tomorrow? This is due this Monday,” you took a sip of the water tasting the remnants of Jungkook’s strawberry chapstick left behind on the rim. 
“I have a basketball tournament due tonight but we can meet tomorrow if you’d like.” 
“Tomorrow,” you repeated, “any time?” 
“After four?” 
“See you then.” 
For the first time in forever Hoseok had actually left your name at the front desk of the studio on campus. After being left up you walked in through the double doors of the dance studio where the music blasted at highest volume and your best friend’s shoes squeaked against the shiny wooden floor as he moved throughout the room swiftly executing his choreography with perfection. Hobi was a force to be reckoned with and dance was his element. 
“You’re here,” his professional and focused aura peeled back as soon as he saw you enter the room, “I need a break anyway.” 
You sat on the floor with your back resting against the wall of mirrors. 
“I’m here and I cannot believe I witnessed such perfection,” you clapped your hands, “I still cannot believe my best friend is talented enough to finally snatch me away from poverty.” 
“You know I got us,” he sat beside you before laying his head on your lap. He was covered in a thin layer of sweat from head to toe, “but let’s not forget you chose to be poor.” 
“I didn’t have much of a choice. I can’t really help having idiotic parents,” you shrugged. 
“I know baby,” he cooed. Hobi was quiet which was definitely out of his usual nature where he radiated a blinding luminescent orb around his being. He fidgeted with the strings on his sweatpants and opened his mouth only to say it again. 
“Hoseok, you’re anxious and it’s making me anxious. Just say what you need to say.” 
You combed your fingers through his damp hair, “I saw they, your parents, left a voicemail for you last week. Did you ever get back to them?” 
“No,” you sighed, “and I don’t think I want to either. Everything they tried to do and were willing to do was truly wicked and unforgivable.” 
“You never told me what happened.”
“It involves Jungkook, of course, and everything we did while in high school, Yeonjun’s party the summer before senior year.” 
“The one he threw the week before school started?” 
“Yes.”
“To this day I still can’t remember shit about that night.” 
You chuckled, “a lot of our classmates don’t remember that night at all but I do. I remember every single detail.” 
He didn’t say anything so you continued. 
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Yeonjun’s lake house was like a maze. There were numerous narrow halls with an array of doors carved on each wall and it was the same for every single corner you’ve turned into so far. The little bit of alcohol you had began clouding your mind and you felt more intoxicated than you actually were. Your kitten heeled black sandals clacking against the hardwood floor sought a way out of this elaborate labyrinth and back to what you originally came for. 
The music playing just a floor below faded as you traveled deeper and deeper into the second floor, although you could still feel the booming bass vibrating right under your feet. 
You just needed a bathroom—not because you actually needed to use it but because you needed to take a minute to yourself. . to breathe. Every other corner of this house including the back and front yards and even the fucking lake are already invaded by massive seas of drunk teenagers. Their voices were too loud, the music was headache inducing and the atmosphere adopted a stench of sweat and b.o. 
After ditching the red solo cup on a nearby console table, you leaned against the off-white walls closing your to block out the dim lights making you a bit lightheaded. 
Seriously, who even had this many fucking rooms in one house. You mumbled. 
Sure, your family was wealthy but you were nothing like the Choi family. Your parents were both doctor’s devoting their time to the tiny private practice the two of them founded but on the other hand Yeonjun’s family came from a long lineage of  businessmen and they practically owned a handful of the businesses for miles and miles around. 
You weren’t jealous of all of the extra zeroes attached to his parents’ net worth, you and your own lived comfortably enough to not have any financial complaints. However, his parents were more liberal and they didn’t clip his wings. They weren’t clingy or demanding and they certainly did not push anything on him that he didn’t want to do. Your parents were not this way, they were controlling, and they told you what to do and eat, who to hang out with and date. With covetous thoughts you wondered if there would ever be a point in your life where you could feel as free as Yeonjun did. 
Maybe now that you’ve turned eighteen things would be different. Doubtful—your birthday was a month ago and nothing has changed. Unfortunately, you still lived under their roof and relied on their money. 
You removed your shoes and hesitated whether to travel back down stairs and out somewhere into the depth of the forest but immediately erased the thought from your mind as you looked down at your bare feet, mini skirt and crop top. This wasn’t really an appropriate outfit to go off exploring the woods in the middle of the night. 
The minutes continued ticking by and finally you spotted a door at the end of the opposite hallway with a vertical rectangular piece of frosted glass cut right down the middle. Your feet traveled down the heated floors before your hand reached out for the black knob; turning it slowly. 
It was a rooftop balcony. 
The railing was wrapped in garden lights, while two sets of black cushioned reclining beach chairs sat around a propane fire pit. There was a massive grill to the other side, a bar that would put a nightclub to shame and a huge patio furniture set. 
Your eyes thoroughly scanned your surroundings before landing on the boy leaning against the rail staring at the idiots swimming in the lake below. For the first time since you met him approximately four years ago his legs were exposed under the light washed knee length jorts, he wore a white t-shirt and a pair of black and white checkered vans. Still, right up the alley of what his style embodied but you had to admit you missed his signature chunky boots. 
He still hadn’t noticed you so you walked up slowly, “I never thought I’d see you at a party like this,” you whispered in his ear before jumping right beside him. 
The moon rays reflected a twinkle in his dark eyes, “Yeonjun and I are cool.” 
“So, why aren’t you down stairs?” 
“Why aren’t you?” his gaze traveled from your black painted toes all the way up to your eyes as if he was studying you intently. 
“Too crowded,” you shrugged, “and not enough room to breathe.” 
Jungkook looked ahead, his vision once again consumed by the dark green and brown shades of the dense forest once again, his side profile put artworks all across the world to shame. 
“Yeah, same,” he added, “I’m gonna let you in on a little secret but parties aren’t really my thing.” 
“No way. . I’ve seen you at every party for the past three years,” he dramatically rolled his eyes at the sarcasm in your voice and you chuckled before continuing a bit softer, “is this your first one?” 
Jungkook nodded, “first one I’ve been invited to and the first I’ve ever attended too.”
“We’re breaking records tonight aren’t we.” 
“I guess I’m feeling a bit audacious.” 
You sneered, “audacious? Big word.” 
“Don’t tell me you think I’m stupid like the rest of our classmates. .” 
“I did my internship in the main office last year which included sealing report cards and sending them off,” he walked to one of the chairs and laid on it placing both of his palms under his head. Was he flexing? Couldn’t be. “You’ve practically taken every AP class offered at our school and aced all of them too. It’s a miracle how you have managed.” 
“What can I say?” he smiled and his cheeks rose like two loaves of bread in an oven, “I’m all brains baby.” 
“Brains and beauty,” you corrected. 
“I can’t also be ‘beauty’ when you’re here; living, breathing, being,” Jungkook is the personification of all of your desires and his aura worked hard to draw you closer and closer in his direction no matter how hard you worked to stay away, for his sake. Even when you tried to repel away from him the gravitational force he exuded called out your name and your tympanum became inundated by the wails of his being. 
Only he lived in your thoughts. 
The video-like memories you have shot of him throughout the years loop in your mind day and night. It was dizzying but you didn’t want it any other way. 
“You are beautiful,” you let your thoughts roll off your tongue freely—too tipsy to care and too enthralled by his striking features to lie about what you truly felt. What you’ve been working so hard to suppress for the past few years. You were tired of hiding, so fucking tired, “with your big beautiful eyes, and your cherry lips and rosey cheeks and all of these tattoos,” you carried on, “oh, and those piercings. Don’t you know that Jungkook?” 
He was flushed and his head became tilted down as he played around with the silver rings on his fingers, “know what?” 
“That you are more beautiful than life itself.” 
Jungkook scooched over on the chair and patted the empty space beside him inviting you to sit near him and you did. He laid on his side while his face rested on his left palm. 
“Are you drunk?” he asked. 
“I only had two sips of Hobi’s drink,” you looked up at him through your eyelashes, “I’ve been on cranberry juice most of the night.” 
“So this is not a case of drunken words you’ll forget once the sun comes up?” he leaned in closer and you could see the faint freckles dancing on his cheeks and on the bridge of his nose. 
His eyes sparkled projecting bright constellations never before seen in the heavens, “I could never forget anything about you.” 
“You know I can’t believe that right?” 
“Why not?” 
“Because you’ve forgotten about me for the past year,” he smiled devilishly, “you haven’t spared me the time of day. I’ve missed your sneaky glances. The way you’d drop your pencil half way through algebra just to bat those pretty eyelashes in my direction kind of like you are now.” 
“I didn’t do that just to look at you,” you clutched the thin gold chain hanging from his neck, guiding him closer to you, “I was just genuinely clumsy.” 
“I’m just saying it’s funny how the pencil always fell in my direction,” 
“Forget the pencil, Jungkook,” shivers cascaded down your back as his lips hovered over yours—his breath fanning against them. The aroma of lemon, and mint, with woody and balsamic undertones tickled your nostrils. 
Jungkook shook his head, his eyes remained on your lips as you swiped your tongue along them, “it’s not about the pencil?” 
“It’s not,” you added, tucking the few strands of hair that framed his face behind his ear. You just wanted to lay there with him forever, to be consumed by the warmth of his embrace, to lose yourself in the tenderness of his kisses, to wake up next to him tomorrow and also every single day after that. 
“So just admit you wanted to lo—”
You lips landed on his and finally you remembered just how magical kissing Jungkook was except unlike that day in school the bathroom, today, it wasn’t a game. You were there on your own free will and you didn’t care who was around to see. The only concern clouding your mind was how much more of him you craved. The way your mouths moved each other made you feel inebriated, even more than alcohol ever could and you weren’t afraid to admit his lips had you addicted. 
The silver metal hoop hung onto the corner of his lip felt cold, but so good in comparison to his heated kisses. Despite where you were or how many people currently invaded Yeonjun’s house it felt like you and Jungkook were the only two people on the entire planet. Just the two of you with your lips dancing on each other with the moon and the stars baring as your only witnesses. 
Jungkook pulled away slowly—panting slightly, “please shut me up like that more often,” he held your face, resting his forehead on yours and pecking your lips continuously, “tell me you’ll do it. Tell me you’ll always kiss my stupidity away.” 
You nodded, “Jungkook, how about I kiss you like that always and forever. Not only because of your stupidity as you call it but just because.”
“Are you trying to confess something?” 
He sat across from you on the beach chair taking your legs onto his lap, his soft hands massaged the soles of your feet. You swallowed back the guttural groan riding up your throat melting deeper into the chair due to his therapeutic touch. His fingers moved higher and higher up the length of your extremities, halting right above your knees, yet he continued kneading his fingers into your skin. 
“Tell me.” 
You hummed. 
“I need you to be an open book with me. What are you looking to confess?” 
Your eyes remained closed as he continued touching you gently—almost feather-like, “Jungkook, I can’t really think when you’re doing that. .” 
“Should I stop?” 
“No, please,” you pant. 
He continued kneading your thighs, “tell me.” 
From the tips of his fingers currents of electricity trickled onto your skin, “ah, fuck. .” you breathed, “I like you Jungkook. I like you. Okay?”  
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Hobi sat up beside you, now leaning against the mirrors as well. The sun has begun its journey towards the horizon and its rays peaked through the slightly drawn blinds,  “wait so you guys. .?” 
You nodded but said nothing else. That night had been a secret between you and Jungkook. 
“On the roof of Yeonjun’s house during our senior year back to school bash?” The surprise in his tone was evident but you weren’t taken back by it all. 
“Yes,” you smiled faintly, unwilling to hide the giddiness you felt from the memories of your time together from Jungkook, “it was our little secret. We swore to each other we wouldn’t  say anything to anyone. That’s why I didn't mention anything to you before but obviously someone saw and word got out that same night.” 
Hobi sighed, “don’t tell me another fight broke out between him and your dumbass ex-boyfriend.” 
You shook your head, “this time it was different. I wasn’t scared of what others thought anymore. In that moment I decided I would stop caring. I wanted to stop hurting him,” your clammy hands began to shake slightly and Hobi placed his palms on top of them to stop their trembling, “that night after the party we rode around all night aimlessly. Enjoying each other’s company and truly I was the happiest I had ever been all my life. Everything went to shit as soon as I made it home and walked in through the door. My parents waited for me to get in, they sat me down and began rambling about my change in behavior and how different I had become.”
He hummed and you took that as a sign to continue. 
“As soon as I sat on the chair that night they slid over my mom’s phone and there was a picture of Jungkook and I kissing on one of the longue chairs. I swear I had dejavu from freshman year.” 
“Did you ever find who took the picture?” 
“I never did but I always figured it was one of my ex’s minions or something,” you shrugged, “to be honest, trying to figure it out was the last thing on my mind. They started talking and talking rambling on about my personality change and rebelliance and how Jungkook was the cause of it or some shit.” 
“How did they even come up with that?” 
“I asked myself the same thing,” you snickered, just thinking about it even now makes your blood boil, “but it didn’t matter. Being eighteen didn’t matter; they just wanted to keep us away from each other at all costs. They made all types of threats to make me press charges and file a restraining order which I obviously refused. Then, they vowed to make his life hell if I didn’t stay away and I didn’t want to find out what they meant so I decided to comply and stay away.” 
“Okay, now I’m beginning to understand why you moved in with my family half way through senior year,” his thumb rubbed circles on the dorsal side of your hand, “were they mad when you left? I used to ask my mom if your folks ever reached out but she always avoided the question.” 
“They were livid but nothing they could ever say or do would ever make me stay in that place.” 
“Did they manage to leave Jungkook alone?” 
“Well, after the big cut-off Jungkook and I were never able to find our way back to each other,” your voice was low, almost as if you couldn’t hear yourself it just wouldn’t be true, “and I moved in with you and your mom and I completely blocked them out of my life.” 
“Good. I’m glad you ditched them,” he pinched your cheeks, “you deserve better than them and their money’s no good to you anyway.” 
“I just wish I would’ve kept in contact with him. Maybe tell him what was going on or something,” you scratched the back of your neck obviously frustrated at your lack of communication skills as a stupid eighteen year old. You were such an idiot—why couldn’t you open your fucking mouth? 
“We all make bad decisions at one point in our lives but you had no choice, baby. You were sandwiched into the wall one bad choice up against another. You made the best decision you could with the circumstances at hand,” he snuggled closer to you, wrapping one hand around your shoulder, “don’t beat yourself up over it please.” 
“I love you. Seriously, I don’t know what I would ever do without you.” 
He kissed your forehead, “I love you more.”
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Today Jungkook’s highway of thoughts has eased and though you liked how calm the morning has been you also kind of missed the feeling of his lingering presence—almost as if your own shadow was missing. 
You despised waking up towards the early hours of the afternoon but today you couldn’t seem to peel yourself out of of your bed, until finally you couldn’t fathom the idea of napping your day away—plus couldn’t do that even if you wanted to because Jungkook and Jimin would be over in about thirty minutes to begin working on Mr. Kim’s project. 
Jimin had been the middle man in this entire set-up, he had both of your numbers so he took it upon himself to text the two of your separately (because he knew you and Jungkook were physically impossible of initiating a social exchange amongst yourselves), and get you both on board with a neutral territory to meet at. Of course, Jimin’s idea of a neutral territory involved a place where he could catch glimpses of his ex strutting around which meant your apartment was his ideal meeting spot and although his thoughts hadn’t revealed anything so far you just knew Jungkook wasn’t ecstatic about this whole arrangement. 
After taking a quick shower, getting dressed and setting up a plate of sliced fruits and a couple bags of snack size chips and cookies you heard a light knock on your door. 
Taking a deep breath you turned the knob before pulling the door open. It was Jungkook and as always he looked breathtaking. You were beginning to think comfort was his go-to because yet again, he wore sweats and a simple t-shirt—tattoos still peeking out at you, his bottom lip still pierced with the same small silver hoop, hair half up half down and his book bag slung on his left shoulder. 
Removing his headphones he stared back at you as you continued ogling him, “hey. .” he greeted in his deep tone. 
Why is she staring at me like that? 
Do I have a stain or something? 
He looked down at his shirt but when he saw nothing he just stared back at you tilting his head slightly. 
“Hi,” you stepped out of his way and he finally crossed over the threshold into your apartment, “you’re the first one here so we’re just waiting on Jimin to make it before we begin. Please sit anywhere.” 
He nodded. 
The apartment wasn’t necessarily big but it wasn’t small either. An open floor plan made up the space between the kitchen and living room area with a rectangular island separating the two rooms. Immediately to the right of that was the door leading to Hobi’s room, then your room sat at the end of that hall just a couple feet away and the bathroom was just across from your door. 
Yet even as you walked towards the kitchen and Jungkook made strides towards the love seat in the living room you felt like the two of you were cramped in a tiny box with the temperature hiked to the highest setting. God, there were about a million things you could say or offer him but nothing could ever mend his broken heart and that was enough to keep your lips sealed tight. 
Where the fuck is Jimin? 
I don’t know if I can be here alone with her for much longer. 
And it’s so fucking hot. I’m gonna pass out. 
Fuck, you knew it. He’s upset. Though you already figured coming here was probably  hard for him, you didn’t imagine it would hurt you as much as it did to actually know how much he despised being in your vicinity, but it did. 
Jungkook sat rather stiffly on the couch, bag still slung on his back as if he was ready to leave, staring off into the distance while his leg bounced up and down anxiously. Strolling past him silently you nearned the thermostat and cranked the AC up higher.  
That’ll literally fix nothing at all. 
You turned around taking a seat on one of the accent chairs near the row of windows on the opposite end of the living room. If it wasn’t for the invasion of his thoughts, the silence would be killing you softly. 
“Have you heard anything from Jimin?” he finally looked in your direction but not into your eyes instead they lingered lower—in the direction of your legs. The hunger displayed in his eyes took you back to the night before when he moaned your name so sweetly. 
“Nothing,” you tapped your screen to show him the lack of texts and placing the phone back on your thigh, his gaze followed almost like he was hypnotized. 
You would give anything to hear him just one more time—Fuck, just once more. 
He cleared his throat, snapping out of those sinful thoughts cooking up in your head, “yeah, same. And I’ve texted him like three times.” 
“I’m thinking that little shit bailed even though he planned this whole thing,” you were scared to form your thoughts into actual words, “do you want us to start or would you rather wait for him?” 
He breathed out almost exasperated—damn, you should’ve kept the suggestion to yourself. You were about to take it all back but then he finally spoke up, “We’re both here now. I think we can begin and then fill him in. . If that’s okay with you.” 
“Yeah, I think that’s the best we can do,” did he just willingly comply with staying alone with you, “I’ll go get my notebook. Gimme one second.” 
“Okay.” 
Right. . Okay. Just here to get our work done. That’s all. That is all. Yeah. 
You sat beside him on the couch startling him just a bit—he seemed tense, “so we’re supposed to pick a movie, and match no less than three scenes to at least one of the emotions listed.” 
“I say we do the very minimum and pick the movie I’m sure we’ve all watched,” he asked, unzipping his bag and pulling out his notebook. 
“Titanic?” you asked. 
“No, The Blind Side,” he scoffed, “do we really want to sit here for one hundred hours just to recap the eternity that is Titanic?” 
“But the emotions for Titanic are so easy to dissect; we have happiness, love, and jealousy right off the bat,” you argued, “the assignment is practically done for us already.” 
“Yeah, but everyone’s going to do Titanic. We need to stand out. Be different.” 
“It’s an intro to writing class. I vote for taking it easy, weren’t you just moaning about taking it easy anyway?” your tone was a bit condescending you’d admit but the way he scanned your figure was addicting. There was nothing you craved more in this world than to have his gaze drink you in as if you were his favorite drink. 
“I wasn’t moaning.” 
I was last night though. 
You swallowed hard, biting your tongue and holding yourself back from going along with begging him to moan the way you’d heard him do so the night before. His husk groans so low and sweet, so fucking sweet, “But you were.” 
“It was a suggestion. There was no moaning involved.” 
“Well, maybe if you did moan I would cave and take your suggestion,” the words rolled off your tongue before you could ever stop them. 
He smirked, “so you just wanna hear me moan.” 
Don’t smirk. 
Eternally mad at her, remember?
The internal conflict raging within him gave you at least a little bit of hope. As you mapped out the field of his thoughts you figured he wanted nothing to do with but distance himself; to be cold and standoffish but he also revealed he wanted you. He wanted you near—to hold you, kiss you, touch you. 
It was confusing and headache inducing but you liked that you still lived in his mind the same way he lived in yours. 
You shrugged, “maybe I do.” 
“Please, don’t,” his eyes finally met yours. 
Look away. 
But he didn’t and you were glad he didn’t. 
“Do you want me to beg Jungkook?” you purred low and slow—the translation intended was desperation and you hoped he understood exactly what you were hinting at. You were tired of hiding behind your emotions. 
She’s a fucking pied piper and I’m the snake hyptonized by sweet song and mindlessly slithering towards her. 
Yes, Jungkook. Come closer, come to me. If only he could listen to your thoughts, this would be a whole lot easier. 
Fucking one way telepathy. 
“Uh,” there was a mere blank look plastered on his features. His pupils were blown and a soft tint of rose dusted his cheeks. It was as if your words had sucker punched him and he was still processing the hit. 
You moved closer to him on the couch, placed your hand on his thighs to balance yourself as you drew closer to his ear, “please, Jungkook. Please, I need to hear you moan again.” 
Fuck. 
Fuck! 
He groaned and the honeyed husk tone sent a trail of goosebumps up your thighs resulting in your panties becoming moist, “please.” 
“Jungkook, I want you,” it was the first time in years you’d heard those words adjacent to his name and fuck did it feel good. 
Fuck it. 
His calloused hands were now on your waist and he began guiding you to lay on the loveseat before your hand landed on his chest to stop him. 
“I said I want you,” you sat him back down before kneeling in-between his legs. The fit of his sweats got tighter, lifting and taking on the shape of a tent, “you didn’t reciprocate the sentiment so that means I’m in charge here today.” 
Tell her. It’s easy. 
Tell her you want her too, you fucking idiot. 
He never vocalized it but you didn’t mind—knowing the thought pranced around on his mind was more than enough for you. 
“Are you okay with taking these off?” he complied, taking his sweats off swiftly, letting the pool at his ankles. Jungkook is fucking big and you were taken back by the sight, “good boy,” you cooed. 
His head fell back on the headrest while his eyes were shut tightly and his breathing became uneven. Oh! He likes that. He likes being called a good boy; you made a mental note to call him that again if you find yourself in a similar predicament. 
You raked your nails along his inner thigh, “Jungkook?” 
He hummed. 
“What do you fantasize about?” you laid your head on his thigh, his dick just a couple inches away from your face and truly all you wanted was to take him all in your mouth. 
“Alot of things.” 
You reached up, taking his length into your hold and he winced at the contact as you began moving your hand up and down once and once again, “I need more details than that.”
“I think of. .” his words became jumbled in his throat as you continued your very mellow and teasing touch, “of you doing, ah fuck, of you doing all these things to me.”
You clicked your tongue and shook your head at his semi-confession, “Jungkook, have you touched yourself while you think of me, hm?” 
Of course, you already knew. You’d heard it yourself but you just loved seeing him become so affected and so sensitive as a result of your lewd utters. 
Your palms traveled up to his pink tip and began rubbing circles with your thumb painting it white with his precum. 
“Good boys don’t touch themself.” 
Jungkook’s mouth remained agape but there were no words communicated instead he formed a sort of soft whimper, and that was the kind of motivation your body needed to go into overdrive. 
You wanted. . No, needed to rid yourself of these suffocating ass fucking clothes, you needed to touch yourself—to release that tension aching so painfully in between your legs. But you didn’t. Today was not about you. 
“I know. .” he groaned, digging his nails onto the black leather couch, “but when I have you invade my thoughts,” he paused looking for all of the right words, “I just can’t control myself.” 
“Hm, seems like I have a lot to live up to compared to your fantasies,” you kissed the head enveloped in your hand before swiping your tongue along his shaft and he hissed. 
His saccharine noises should be made into a playlist so that you could be able to replay them over and over everywhere you go but especially when  you lay under the covers of your bed in the late hours of the night. The only thoughts occupying your mind would be the compositions of his lustful cries as your fingers worked diligently to get yourself off. 
It was so tempting to just allow his hands to continue traveling down your stomach and waist, a few more inches and his fingers could be at the exact location where your body screamed out for his attention. 
You wanted it so bad. 
You tutted while clicking your tongue, “sit back, Jungkook,” you removed his warm feeling away from your lower back and placed them on his knees before patting them softly, “and keep your hands to yourself. Yeah?” 
“It’s really hard to,” he said, “nearly impossible when you’re working so hard to get me off and you’re just sitting there squirming whenever I talk about touching you. Cause the thought has lingered around in your mind, right?” 
“Jungkook, this is not how tonight is supposed to go.” 
“Then, how is it supposed to go?” 
Your hand began moving up and down his cock, pumping him once again before you felt the corners of your mouth beginning to sting as you wrapped your lips around him. It was painful. . Good painful though. With each passing second you bobbed your head on his cock working to take him inch by inch but no matter how much you tried, it was nearly impossible. 
His hand snaked around your neck aiding you, sinking himself deeper into the warmth of your mouth. With strings of saliva streaming down your chin, puffy lips, heated skin and a sort of fucked out look in your eyes you continued the repetition. 
Seeing him lose himself under the ministrations of your touch and mouth was overwhelming and drove you to the verge of nearly succumbing to the peaking orgasm lurking close by. Instead you diverted your mind to what you were doing instead of what you felt. Placing one your hand around the base of his balls massaging them into your touch, while you put firm pressure with your thumb on the perineum—and that’s when you saw the explosion of fireworks erupt in his eyes while his thighs began to shake. 
Fuck, fuck, fuck, Her mouth is—fuck! 
“I’m so close,” a needy whimper escaped his lips, “please don’t stop. Don’t ever stop. Please.” 
You complied, nearly choking on his cock. The feeling of being nearly rid of your ability to breathe was addicting and yes, if tonight were to be your last day on earth it would be a pleasure to die with Jungkook’s dick in your mouth. 
“I’ve been a good boy,” he cried out, “can I please cum?” 
Been such a good boy. So good. 
You hummed in approval right before he spilled into your mouth and you swallowed every bit of it before turning to see his splayed out body—all limp and tired. 
After wiping the corners of your mouth you sat beside him on the couch. Your knees were red and stung just a bit but honestly you could do it all over again—all night if you could. Slightly, opening his eyes he looked down, placing a kiss on each knee. 
“I never thought we would-” he paused momentarily, “we would do something like this ever again.” 
“Really?” your voice became hoarse, “because I’ve thought about it for a long long time now.” 
“You have?” 
“I have,” you continued, “and I’d like to think you do as well but if you’re ever ready to actually admit what you truly feel you know where I’ll be.” 
I do want you. So bad. 
And my feelings for you have always remained the same. I still have feelings for you, I feel everything for you. I always have and always will. 
He didn’t say a word but simply offered a sly smile before slipping away to get himself together in the bathroom. 
… But you were not disappointed. 
He needed time and that’s okay. You’d be more than happy to give him the time to dissect this peculiar relationship the two of you have. . developed. It’s the least you could do after all these years. 
In your heart you just hope he finds his way back to you. 
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“So you sucked him dry and then you both continued to work on the project like nothing happened?” Jimin asked; his head laid on Hobi’s lap. Yes, they were back together. This was apparently the reason why he had missed the project session the night before.  
“We were kinda forced to when your ass was MIA from the very meeting you set-up.” 
He rolled his eyes, “nobody forced you to suck his dick.” 
“Fuck you, Jimin.” 
“Why don’t you begin by fucking Jungkook instead.” 
“Jungkook and I aren’t fucking anytime soon,” you sighed spinning around on your desk chair. The ceiling seemed to come crashing down on you even as you thought of gravity of your fucked up reality, “it’s like I can feel that he still feels something for me but he just won’t vocalize it.” 
Hobi caressed the apples of Jimin’s pink cheeks, stroking them lightly with his thumb. They were the picture perfect image of love—whenever they were not fighting of course. 
“So you sucked his dick at the expense of what?” Hobi inquired. 
“I really just wanted him in my fucking mouth,” you shrugged not really wanting to scramble for any other explanation because the truth of the matter is all of you would always calls out for Jungkook whether you wanted to or not. 
“Oh, baby,” Hobi abandoned his place on your bed and kneeled in front of you holding your hands in his, “while I support all forms of slut revelations and tendencies as your best friend it is within my obligation to require you to tend after your heart.” 
You nodded. 
“Jungkook is alluring, captivating, mysterious and absolutely handsome—” Jimin cleared his throat behind him, but he ignored his boyfriend and proceeded, “and the two of you have a lot of history both good and bad but you have to understand what happened in the past is yesterday’s event. Jungkook can break your heart or hurt you in any way and it’ll be just as fucked up no matter what happened between the two of you back in high school. Okay?” 
“Okay,” Hobi was right but how could you shut out the part of your brain which justified every single way Jungkook could tear you apart? Underneath the spark; shining bright in your eyes every single time he appeared in your line of vision you knew you deserved his wrath for every inconvenience you had a role in while inserted into his path. 
“Don’t just say it. Mean it.” 
The room felt smaller, suffocating, colder and Hobi’s words rolled around in your head in every single direction. The three of you were sprawled around your full bed watching a random movie Jimin had picked out. You sat up against the headboard while the two of them laid on their stomachs facing the television hung on your wall. You weren’t alone but your bed felt empty and as you looked off to your right you couldn’t help but be transported back to last night when you and Jungkook finally settled on the Titanic.
The tragic telling of two people who found their way to each other against all circumstances and the barrier of societal norms and expectations that stood in-between them. Of course, aside from Leo unnecessarily dying in the final act this could be a retelling of pinpoints on your relationship with Jungkook. You liked each other, your parents were against it, you lived in the moment and you let your heart lead a way here and there but as soon as the iceberg (your parents, your ex, and even you) became introduced as the antagonist the two of you found yourselves swimming in an ocean of heartbreak and despair. 
You would always assume responsibility for every single way you hurt Jungkook in the past but if one thing must be crystal clear is that you also love him. You did back then and you do now—the only difference is that back then you were looking to please all of those around you and you suppress your feelings in the deepest pocket of your heart but you wanted to liberate it all. You were finally ready to listen to your heart.
It was a composition to a beautiful song, one so loud it courses through your very being, awakening your nerves and causing your thoughts to explode into a frenzy. 
You wanted him here with you. Snuggling into you sharing longing looks and deprived touches. 
You wanted him to be open and push all of his fears away. 
You wanted him to realize that you were different now. Things were different and you would treat him so well. 
I need to talk to her. Yeah. 
Almost as if his brain and his phone were wired together you heard a ding go off right beside you. 
‘Hey, can we please talk?’
Your heart sank because in your experience that sentence never led to a good thing. Never. 
‘Sure. When are you free?’
‘Right now.’
‘Hobi and Jimin are home. You can come over if you don’t mind some company or we can meet somewhere else?’
‘Come to my apartment in 5.’ 
‘K.’ 
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Jittery was the exact word you’d use to describe Jungkook at soon as he opened up the door to his apartment and stepped aside to allow you in. The length of his finger had a slight tremble and his eyes were blown wide. 
You hadn’t really seen him like that in a while. 
“Jungkook, are you okay?” 
He nodded, “yeah, just a bit stressed with everything going on plus I’ve had like five energy drinks in the past five hours.” 
“What’s got you so stressed?” you asked standing before him, you felt hesitant to sit anymore. I mean you did have his dick in your mouth like less than twenty-four hours ago but you didn’t want to push it and you certainly did not want to invade his personal space. 
“Too many things, honestly. School for one. .” he ran a hand through his hair taking a brief second to determine exactly what he wanted to reveal to you, “work study plus now I'll be co-coaching the swim team as well.” 
“You’re headstrong Jungkook,” you offered, “I’m sure you’ll do amazingly even with this hectic schedule you are so determined to take on.” 
“I went to this psychic once and she told me my ambition to take on everything would lead to my demise,” he chuckled airily, “I’m beginning to think she was right.” 
“Psychics are bullshit. Who says you can’t have cake and chocolate ice cream too?” 
“Right,” you hadn’t noticed before but casual was Jungkook’s new staple. Seems like he has drifted away from his black boots and particularly dark toned outfits. You liked that version of him quite a lot, although you hadn’t really shown it in the past. However, you also liked the version of him standing before you where he maximized comfort and migrated to mostly tones of white, gray and nudes, “of course you would make that comparison. Cake and chocolate ice cream have always been your go to dessert combination.” 
“Isn’t it everyones?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “for example my nutritionist might say it’s too sugary.” 
“Well, fuck the psychic and that nutritionist of yours too,” Jungkook’s laugh is just like the rest of him—inviting, sweet and genuine. When he laughs, it’s addictive enough to make you want to make him laugh again and again, just so you can hear that sound and see her giggly smile as much as possible, “forreal, but also just remember you gotta just live in the moment, don't worry about tomorrow or even yesterday. Today is all that matters.” 
“I definitely agree but funny enough I kinda wanted to talk to you about what happened last night..” He cleared his throat, “on the couch of your apartment. Well you and Hobi’s apartment.” 
You looked down at your dusty white converse before finding his eyes once again, “what exactly did you want to talk about?” 
Go on. Go on. 
“We’re good right? Are you okay after—well, you know,” was he worried about hurting you after you suck him off yesterday? God, you could suck his dick all over again and then once more after that or preferably until your jaw locks and your knees dissipate. Though, that still wouldn’t be enough to extinguish the burning desire in the pit of your stomach. 
“What exactly are you asking?” you took a step towards him, “shouldn’t I be the one making sure we’re good especially considering all of our history together?” 
“Forget that.” 
Don’t bring it up, please. Just forget about it. 
“I can’t Jungkook,” you sighed, “I wanna make sure we’re okay and I wanna apologize for what happened. Please, let me do it. I don’t want you to resent me for the rest of your life because of it.” 
“There’s no need to. I forgave you long ago. The cold stares and snarky comments were always just a front,” he confessed, “I forgave you the second after everything went down.” 
“And I thank you for that but I still need to do this. I need to get it off my chest,” you reached for his hand; the warmth of his hold settled your nerves and finally you were able to go on, “Please, forgive me Jungkook. For going through with that dare and kissing you in the bathroom. I did want to kiss you but I should’ve never let them take a picture; it only made things worse for you. I’m sorry for not comforting you after your fight with my idiot ex, although I wanted to. I was scared but you were too and it was my fault so I should’ve been there. I’m sorry for ghosting you after we spent the night together at Yeonjun’s party—my parents, they gave me an ultimatum and I was just a high school senior still very dependent on them and I know that’s not an excuse but I managed to make it one back then. Most of all I’m so fucking sorry for not reaching out to you sooner and making things right. I just hope it isn’t too late now.” 
His hands abandoned yours and instead he leaned over before cupping your face, “I told you already. I forgave you for everything a long time ago.” 
“I appreciate your kind heart and forgiving nature, Jungkook,” you leaned into his touch, closing your eyes in the process, “but still I needed you to know how truly sorry I am.”
“Please, stop apologizing,” he sighed, “the past is the past and you have no reason to be apologizing to me right now.” 
“You keep saying that but I did and I do,” Jungkook’s stare was comforting; his eyes felt like embers burning your skin under the sun rays shining bright during the mid-afternoon sun, “and I will continue to do so at any given minute. I need to make up for all of that lost time—every single minute; every hour I’ve let you slip through my fingers. You deserve to be treasured, loved and cherished for the rest of your days and I will do just that if you allow me to.” 
“What exactly are you asking me?” 
“I’m simply asking that we allow things to ride out and perhaps the tide might just take us somewhere beautiful.” 
He giggled, “do these sonnets just live in that pretty little head of yours?” 
“My head is more than just pretty,” you challenge. 
“I know that,” this is the giddiest you’ve ever seen Jungkook be. In recent times he had adopted a sort of hard shell, which he often wore like a shield but today as he leaned on his kitchen island with his head propped up on his palms he looked elated, “I just like the way you describe the potential of there being an. . us.”
“Do you like it enough to give things a chance? Maybe even go on a date?” the tremble in your extremities gave away just how truly nervous you felt, though you tried your best to hide it. You’d never asked anyone out before but for Jungkook you were willing to make the first move. 
She’s so poetic with her affinity for love. I like the way her eyes light up when she talks about us being together. 
“How about tomorrow?” 
“I’m free tomorrow.” 
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The following day was a blur overshadowed by a nimbostratus cloud which swept in a vicious squall with gusts so powerful your room was left a literal mess as you spent hours prior to Jungkook picking up frantically looking for the perfect date outfit. 
Now, you sat in your little casual red dress in the passenger seat of the car Jungkook borrowed from his best friend. Your balmy sat atop your thighs and you tapped your fingers lightly on your heated skin. 
The night sky was beautiful—drowning with a million of bright stars and a moon so illuminating it spotlighted your path. Nightlife here roared with vibrancy and the sidewalks were congested with people bar hopping or looking for dinner spots among other things.  This scene had great capability in finally claiming your attention away from Jungkook and his sinful thoughts but it was hard. Every single image Jungkook painted within the beauty of his mind blasted in your head seemingly like a framed art piece in a gallery. Except, the only difference was that roaming around a museum was peaceful, whereas Jungkook's wandering thoughts made you quiver and sent glacial shivers down your spine. 
For the duration of the ten minute car ride he’s use the weapon known as his mind and managed to peel your clothes off, re-imagining the way your mouth moved on his cock, then, within seconds he painted a picture of what it would be like to fuck you against the hood of his car. You’d admit the depiction of you against the cold metal bumper with your dress hiked up to your waist, while he pounds into you relentlessly really was more than enough to ignite (with the man sitting behind the wheel; eyes hyper focused on the road ahead; and his tattooed knuckles gripping the steering wheel), about a million fantasies you wanted to fulfill with his assistance. 
But the urge to have the heat of his touch roam every inch of your body became abated when Jungkook parked his car and you found yourselves sitting across from each other in the red booth of a seafood restaurant on the pier. The incandescent bulb overhead did very little to irradiate the space between you and yet Jungkook still looked as radiant as ever. The muffled and incessant chatter of the patrons scattered throughout the establishment became similar to the buzzing of bumble bees and truly you weren’t really too sure you could make out conversations they engaged in. 
You were kind of nervous and although you’d hope it wasn’t too obvious you couldn’t help the way your eyes scanned the room and your body failed to comply with the simple order of sitting still. 
“You look beautiful tonight,” Jungkook sat up on the leather seat and looked off outside the glass window drinking in the vicious waves as they crashed against the golden shore. 
You look beautiful every single day. 
“Thank you,” you smiled, “I see your signature black boots have finally made a comeback,” you followed his eyes out to get a view of the roaring sea, “I thought you might’ve grown out of them.” 
This look—tonight was the epitome of teenage Jungkook core and you couldn’t help but savor the brief stroll down memory lane. Of course, back in high school you’d always had a tiny little crush on him and while you worked to get over it; that was not an issue today. You were gawking—practically drooling at how amazing his biceps looked under the sleeves of his white tee, his black jeans hugged his thick thighs and his hair was tied half up half down and of course those damned black boots. 
“They’re my secret weapon. I just keep them in the back of my closet for special occasions.” 
I also know they were always your favorite look on me. 
“In that case, I’m honored that a night with me is considered a special occasion enough to bring out the boots,” Jungkook finally turned towards you, his eyes shining bright like jewels even in the shitty lighting. 
“I figured it fit our little slice of history perfectly.” 
“Don’t tell me these were the exact ones you wore that day? 
“They are the exact same ones.” 
“I thought you would have gotten rid of them with everything that transpired,” you whispered; talking about the past still felt taboo. 
“I contemplated that many times,” he shrugged then proceeded in a timorous voice, “but I just couldn’t. There is an abundance of bad memories attached to them but the memory of my first kiss trumps all negatives.” 
“Your first kiss?” Your shock was evident and for a second you had to look around just to make sure you weren‘t too loud but the people around the two of you were too into their own conversations. They were oblivious to the little corner you and Jungkook occupied towards the back of the restaurant—in your own little world, “I-I was your first kiss?” 
He nodded before taking a small sip of his water. 
“Jungkook?” 
He looked at you, “what?” 
“Are you being one-hundred percent serious. . I was your first kiss?” 
Jungkook pressed his lips into a tight line causing his cheeks to become impaled by his chasmic dimples; then, he closed his eyes briefly before taking a deep breath, “I was a loser in high school. Of course, I was spared a few friends but in the ‘love’ department I was lacking severely so naturally no one was ever interested in pursuing anything romantic with me. Until, that afternoon when the girl I’d been crushing on finally walked up to me in the bathroom.” 
“If I could go back in time and embrace the feelings that I had for you, Jungkook just to tell you how I actually felt I’d do it in a heartbeat,” your heart beat rhythmically in your chest and quickly you began feeling fatigued as if your air supply would be cut off if you didn’t peel back every single one of your layers and confess exactly how you felt. 
“If I could go back in time and tell you what I actually felt despite the consequences I’d also do it in a heartbeat,” he murmured, taking your hands in his. 
“Good evening and welcome to Under the Sea, can I get you started on anything tonight?” the server approached. Her hair was tied up messily and she wore a black polo and black pants while carrying around a small notepad and pencil in her hand. She seemed friendly but a bit overwhelmed—though, you couldn’t really blame her, this place is leaning a whole lot towards chaos. 
“Yeah, we’re ready,” Jungkook said, a fib of course, the two of you had been too busy talking to scan the menu before she came over, “I’ll take the Cioppino. Anything looking appetizing to you?” 
“I think I’ll take the Paella.” 
“And for drinks?” she asked scribbling away on her notepad. 
“I’ll have a Coke.” 
“Same here,” the two of you handed back the menu, “thank you.”
“I’ll be right back with your drinks,” she smiled before walking off towards the kitchen. 
The rest of the night at Under the Sea was brief and while you and Jungkook indulged in small talk here and there the two of you were starving and more concerned about getting something in your stomach. After leaving the busy restaurant Jungkook led you in the opposite direction of the parking lot towards the small park across the street from the beach. Right under the live oak tree there was a blanket laid out with numerous flameless candles flickering their feeble light around the very spot. As you got closer you noticed the basket sitting next to the blanket on the grass and the rose petals scattered around. 
“Jungkook. .” You became stunned at the attention to detail of the man before you. Everything looked so beautiful, “you did this all? W-when did you even have the time to set this up?” 
“I set everything up before our date and I know some of the workers from the restaurant and asked them to check in every once in a while and bring our snacks out like five minutes ago so nothing would spoil.” 
“You prepared snacks for us?” 
“More like I cut-up some fruits.” 
“In that case I’m judging your knife skills.” 
“Not too harshly though,” he tittered softly and airily. It mimicked the comforting tunes of lullabies, “come one, let’s sit. I have some things lined up for us tonight.” 
You sat beside him on the velvet fabric, you folded your legs to your side and used one of the spare blankets to cover your lap. Before you there were two medium sized tabletop easels and a selection of paints and brushes. 
Jungkook removed the white button up he’d left unbuttoned and kept on the white wifebeater. For the first time you finally had a full view of his sleeve; on full display. The black traces filled in with colorful shades adorned every inch of his right arm all the way down to his wrist. You had the urge to reach out and trace every single pattern but you held back—you and Jungkook were good but this is the beginning stage; first you have to dip your toe in and test the waters. 
She’s staring at my arms. . Be calm. 
Don’t flex. . Don’t flex. 
Dammit. 
He flexed, reaching up to brush a stand of hair back and out of his face. 
You smiled, “so, what’s supposed to be our inspiration for painting tonight?” 
“Each other. You paint me and I’ll paint you.” 
“Jungkook, I’m a lousy painter,” you whined. 
“The point isn’t for it to be good,” Jungkook began brushing soft strokes on the canvas, “it’s about the creative process. . the ideas that your mind interprets into art.” 
“That’s easy for you to say,” you scoffed. 
“Art didn’t always come easy to me.” 
“How did you know this is what you wanted to do for the rest of your life?” you finally picked up a brush and squeezed a dash of paint on the wooden palette, allowing your hands to work freely—to create. 
“The first time I drew anything for others to see was in high school,” his eyes were gleaming with thoughts of reminisce, “Ms. Julie, reached out to me sophmore year, said she needed my help designing the yearbook cover for the seniors that year.” 
“I remember the cover that year,” Jungkook looked over at you and there was a layer of joy featured on his face, “it was absolutely beautiful and I also remember every single cover after that being just as amazing.” 
“Thank you,” his cheeks were a crisp crimson now, “I designed all of the year books every year after that as well. Actually, I still help Ms. Julie from time to time even now.” 
“That’s amazing. It’s truly a gift that your hands possess and I’m so glad we get to see what they create.” 
Jungkook stopped his movements all together, his gaze no longer set on the easel, instead he looked downward, his cheeks still burned bright, maybe a little more now than before and by the paced heaves of his chest he seemed to be calculating his every breath. 
“Thank thank you,” he stammered. 
“And just so you know I intend to shower you with compliments, so get used to it.” 
He beamed, “what about you?” 
“What about me?” 
“What are your passions?” 
You shrugged, “Hm, I was never really good at anything back in highschool and while I knew I had to do something. I had a really tough time figuring things out.” 
“But then. .” 
“Then, I did an internship at the daycare on campus the summer before classes started and I realized how much I love being around all of the kids,” you said, “and at that moment I automatically knew what my major would be, come the fall semester.” 
“Funny how life works right?” 
“One-hundred percent.” 
The cool draft of the expeditious night swept by softly allowing you to leave behind the once scorching afternoon. Right now, you became a resident in your very own slice of heaven and in your head the only people around for miles were you and Jungkook. For the past thirty minutes, the two of you haven’t crossed many words, you were too focused on contextualizing the perfect artwork—one that’ll remind him of you wherever he sees it. 
Now, you were not an artist by any means but you tried nevertheless. The best interpretation of him you could come up with was to depict the sheer contrast between the different versions of himself. 
The two were slightly different yet when meshed together working symbiotically to make Jungkook the perfect mixture of tranquil, mesmerizing and lulling all in one. 
Your canvas was split in two—one side you painted baby blue with music notes substituting the clouds in what would be the bright afternoon sky and and a lousy excuse for a guitar sitting on the bottom. This was the version of him that lived inside and the one only a few people got to see. His mysterious aura and great passion for music. Then, on the opposite side you painted a black background in combination with it there was an abundance of colorful art supplies scattered all throughout. This one represented what he chooses to show and what many saw on the outside on his day-to-day course. 
After some finishing touches you moved back on taking one last look at your work, “okay. . Here, I tried my best but it’s not your face. Just some things that remind me of you.” 
“Let’s see,” he hummed excitedly, waiting for you to turn the canvas around. 
“Be nice, okay?” 
“I will, I will.” 
When Jungkook was excited there were a lot of distinctive actions that communicated with his body and expressions. His eyes lit up like the explosions of fireworks on a summer night; his shoulders were raised up past his jawline and his cheeks burned bright. 
“It’s not good, okay,” you beamed at his cheerfulness; it was cute how thrilled he was. 
“It’s perfect,” he leaned closer to sneak a glance, “come on. Let me see.” 
“Fine,” turning the canvas around felt like an invasion of privacy, although everything on it was solely about him, it was still like a clear window into your soul and how you saw him. 
You’d never been this vulnerable before with anyone. Never. 
He scanned the explosion of colors sitting in-between your hands. Jungkook’s lips curved up while the corners of his eyes wrinkled in amusement. 
“This is amazing and absolutely the best depiction of everything I love.”
“Don’t lie to me, Professor Picasso.” 
“I don’t lie about art,” he reached for it and you placed it in his hands, “and this is a masterpiece.” 
You scoffed. 
“I’m serious,” he argued, “this is going up on my art wall. Front and center.” 
“This better be the only thing on your art wall,” you muttered. 
Jungkook finally grabbed his canvas holding it close to his chest. . Well, as close as he could due to the wet paint, “Here’s mine.” he still had not turned it around for you to see. 
“You know you actually have to turn it for me to take a look.” 
He chuckled, “I know but nervousness is contagious. . Just gimme one second.” He took a deep breath before slowly turning the canvas in your direction and there you were. Same facial features, hair style and red dress you had chosen for the night. The talent his fingers convey is jaw dropping. It is evident Jungkook is an amazing artist through and through. 
“Jungkook. .” You knew he was good; you’d seen the covers he had designed for the highschool yearbook back then, still, that didn’t prepare you for this in the slightest bit to see yourself from his point of view, “I don’t have an art wall but this will definitely be the beginning of one in my apartment.” 
He guffawed while passing his painting over. 
“I’m serious,” you continued, now closely examining his precise attention to detail. He got every single attribute down to the smallest scars and birthmarks, “your talent is impeccable. Just look at how amazing this is.  It’s actually not fair at all. I want mine back.” 
“No way! You can’t take back gifts you have already given away to someone.” 
“Yes, I can,” you argued, “especially if my gift looks like shit next to yours.” 
“It most definitely doesn’t. I already told you, I love it and it’s going up on my wall and there’s nothing you can do about it,” he leaned closer, placing a soft peck on your forehead and clutching the painting tight in his grasp. 
You groaned admitting defeat, “but I am expecting a lot more paintings from you.”
“Always.” 
Of course. As long as you’re beside me, and even if some day for some reason you aren’t, you’ll continue to be my muse forever. 
His muse. You love the sound of that. 
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The sound of the pouring rain beat rhythmically on the glass window. For the next few hours your bed was your haven and Jungkook’s bare arms were your form of a warm blanket.
Although the clock on your night stand marked four o’clock, the day was as dark as night and as the sun refused to come out to play the dark nimbus clouds invaded the stretch of the expansive sky, refusing to allow even a single ray of light to illuminate your bedroom. 
The power had gone out but the two of you had lit up some candles in various locations of your room. You were both in your underwear, semi-sticky with a thin layer of sweat coating your entire body as a result of the air conditioner no longer being on. 
Even in the heat the two of you couldn’t untangle yourselves from each other. 
“We’ve been laying here in the heat for hours,” his fingers raked over your shoulder and down to the middle of your back. 
“There’s nowhere we can go to cool down for the day. I’m afraid these four walls are it for us today,” you complained. 
“And moving will only make us hotter.” 
“I think the two of us being tangled up like this is already making us hotter.” 
His hands tightened around your waist, “yet there’s nothing you can say to let me go.” 
“Then, it’s a good thing I don’t want you to let go,” you crossed your arms on his chest and laid your chin on them; looking up at him through your lashes taking in his figure as he laid back against the headboard. 
“Why are you looking up at me like that?” he asked though his eyes were still closed. 
“I just like having you. . here.” 
“In your room?” he asked. 
“In my life,” you confessed, “I guess I never thought we could make it here again.” 
“I had faith—hope. I knew that eventually we would get to talk and forgive each other.” 
Every fight and every bicker was a call to drive you closer to me. Immature I know, but it was all I could do and say to get close to you. 
“You didn’t do anything wrong to me, Jungkook,” you traced lines over his collarbones leaving before sparks of electricity; you felt as they traveled down to the tip of your finger, “if anything I was constantly praying you’d forgive me.” 
Forgiving you was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.  
“I walked away after Yeonjun’s party,” he caressed your cheeks with the pads to his finger, “that was my worst mistake and I knew exactly how it looked too; like I just hit it and quit it.” 
“You didn’t hit it and quit it, Jungkook,” you sighed, “I did that to us. I was the one who walked away from us. None of it was your fault.” 
“But I let you walk away. I didn’t fight for us.” 
“Hey,” you cradled his face in your hands, “I didn’t let you fight for us. This is on me.” 
But I never went searching for you. I just let you—walk away. The night you got up from that longue chair on the rooftop of Yeonjun’s house I thought that was our beginning; I just never thought it could be our end instead. 
“It’s on us,” Jungkook leaned into your touch, softly moving his cheek against your palm, “but we can only work to overcome our past. . Together.” 
You held onto the gold link looped around his neck, clutching it in order to pull him towards you until finally your faces were just an inch away from each other, “Together.” 
“Kiss me, please,” his breath fanned across your lips as you continued guiding him closer and closer to you—his eyes were closed once again and he completely succumbed into this trance of your navigation. His lips were warm and velvet; parting slowly before they landed on yours. You became lost in the way your heartbeat continued beating faster and faster. The soft ballad of the steady thrumming tickled your ears and along with the taste of his mint lips on yours you began feeling a bit faint. 
The room was still hot, the power was still out and you still sat on Jungkook’s lap but now you became exhilarated riding off the feelings in the way your body connected. It wasn’t just the kiss—no, it was also the way his electric touch began tracing the lines outlining your body, traveling down between your breasts, then down your stomach and up your sides until they rested on your hips. Jungkook’s fingers teasingly toyed around with the elastic waistband of your panties, rubbing small circles on your lower back. 
You were breathless pulling away from that kiss but in between breaths you managed to pull his forehead against yours before allowing yourself to speak one again, “Jungkook, can I tell you something?” 
He nodded. 
“I-I want you, Jungkook,” your brain felt like it melted right into mush and there were no coherent thoughts in your head that didn’t revolve around Jungkook. 
You were dickmatized. Yes, you were. 
“You have me.” 
“I want all of you.” 
“Take it all,” he whispered. 
Do anything you want to me. Do everything you want to me. Do whatever you want with me. I am yours for the taking. 
You felt the beads of sweat strolling down your body accompanying the slight tremble in your every movement. Still, you moved with the facade of faux confidence and soon you found yourself straddling his thigh, sinking down against his heated and sticky skin. Indulging in a steady pace you began moving back and forth against his thigh all while holding onto his shoulder for support. Jungkook’s head fell back against the wall but his hands never left your waist guiding your movements to the quickened beat of desperation. 
“You look so pretty riding my thigh. You know that?” he smirked; his cheeks were the tone of wine. Jungkook bit his lip to maintain focus on the sloppy motion he continued to maneuver. 
You hummed entirely consumed by that heated feeling in between your thighs—entranced in the way his soft whimpers only guided you towards that very place where you could finally reach out and touch the stars. 
“Fuck—fuck, keep going, yeah?” you stammered never ever wanting him to stop being the root of your every desire. 
What gave her the impression that I’d stop? This. . Us, it just feels so right. I will never be able to live in a reality where the image of her getting off on my thigh could ever cease—not after today. Not ever. 
“Just-just let me guide you, baby girl,” his voice was low and husk followed by a series of unpaced breaths. 
“Take me there, Jungkook,” you moaned. 
Oh, fuck—I’ll take you there baby. I’ll take you there. I’ll take you there. 
His fingers dug into you while his fingernails left behind marks of deep crescents traced on your skin. The guidance of his movements was near animalistic and the fabric of your panties was now sticking to your juices and there was nothing you craved more than the desirous urge to unravel under the trance of Jungkook’s ministrations. 
Back and forth; back and forth you moved reaching higher and higher as your fingertips brushed touch the points of the luminous star and before you knew your teeth sunk into his shoulders suppressing your moans and your hips no longer followed the rhythm he previously set and you were finally swimming in the night sky—so high; so satiated. 
“Oh,” you breathed, “that-that was amazing.” 
“You tired yet?” he asked. 
“Not at all.” 
Jungkook hugged your waist and flipped the two of you over; your bodies pressing together heatedly against the ocean of sheets, breathing heavily as your lips pressed together once again. His hands quickly dipped under the waistband of your panties reaching for your inner thigh, until you felt him press the pads of his fingers in between your folds smearing the combination of your juices. After  his torturous teasing he slipped two fingers pumping them in and out of you quickly. 
“Oh, baby,” he finally pulled away from your lips, allowing a string of whimpers to slip past your swollen lips, “you feel so fucking good.” 
“Jungkook, faster please,” you rocked your hips to match the beat of his fingers moving in and out of you. 
“Is that what you want?” he hummed, “tell me. You want to cum at the mercy of my fingers?” 
“Yes-yes. That’s what I want please.” 
Jungkook laid beside you on the bed with his face buried in the nape of your neck. His hand still worked diligently to get you off as he whispered soft praises against the shell of your ears. You were in your very own depiction of utopia—euphoric with stimulation of endorphins. 
“I’m close-close, Jungkook,” you dragged your nails down his back, likely leaving streaks of red trails behind as he quickened his pace. Meanwhile, you felt your body temperature skyrocket and the knot in the pit of your stomach tightened until it could not become any tighter and for the second time that night you felt how the storm passed and once again you floated throughout the night sky. 
While Jungkook strove to read your body like the ink inscripted into the pages of his favorite book; the absence of his wandering hands made you feel empty—as if you couldn’t really breathe. At all. 
“What happened, baby girl?” his lips traveled downwards on your body while his hands finally worked to unclasp your bra, (two orgasms later you couldn’t believe you still had all your undergarments on), and now your breasts became the forefront of his attack and leisurely he took each nipple in between his teeth smirking at your gasps and shudders as a result of your sensitivity, “are you the one who can’t stand the rule of not touching today?” 
“Ah—,” he lightly bit the side of your left breast before kissing it better, “the only thing I hate right now is that your dick isn’t in me right now.” 
He laughed; the booming sounds struck just like the raucous cries of thunder just outside your windows, “what makes you think I’m gonna fuck you tonight?” 
“I don’t know. Maybe the fact that I can feel how hard you are against my leg.” 
“What? This?” Jungkook sat-up on the bed working to remove his boxers. When he finally did he discarded them to the pool of clothes somewhere on your bedroom floor while his cock sat before you like it had been a few days prior.  Jungkook laid back down in front of you, placed a tender kiss on your forehead before he moved closer towards you, lifting your leg up and allowing it to rest on his hip. Once positioned he began rubbing the head of his cock against your clothed slit —especially focusing on the sensitive bud. 
He traced the lines of your lips over and over until you couldn’t take it any longer and tears began filling your eyes and you chanted hastely begging him to fuck you right into the mattress. 
“Please, Jungkook,” a needy whimpered rolled off your tongue, “please fuck me, please fuck me please.” 
Jungkook was now on top of you and he reached down, moving your soaked panties to the side before he lined himself at your entrance. You closed your eyes anticipating that moment when his cock would slip in and stretch you out so good you’d feel full beyond relief. And just as you imagined he slowly pushed himself past your entrance, your mouth fell agape at the sensation of his cock invading you inch by inch. 
The feeling was immeasurable and better than anything you’d ever felt before. 
“Will you be okay if I move?” he asked almost out of breath. 
You nodded frantically.
“Just let me know if you wanna stop at any point, okay?” he remained still. 
You nodded once again. 
Jungkook moved cautiously, setting a lento rhythm—almost as if he thought you’d break if he fucked into you too hard. His tattooed hand brushed your heated cheeks as he continued his agonizingly slow thrusts. The room was still silent for the most part except now in company to the pitter-patter of the pouring rain the two of you contributed your very own duet composed of his guttural groans mixed and your shaky pants. 
His lips left sweet kisses behind on both of your cheeks, then your nose, your chin and lastly your forehead. 
She looks so fucking beautiful like this; all sweaty and aroused just for me. Fucked out just for me. I’m so lucky. So lucky. 
“Jungkook?” you tucked your bottom lip under your top row of teeth. 
“Yes?” 
“Deeper, please,” you whined, “not faster but harder. I want to feel you deep in me.” 
Deeper? Fuck. She’s gonna be the death of me. I swear she is. I’ll fuck you just how you’d like baby girl. I’ll fuck you right. 
“Okay—okay,” he stammered. 
Jungkook stopped his movements and pulled out momentarily as he adjusted his position in between your legs. He grabbed both of them and wrapped them around his waist before pushing past your entrance once again, and yes, it felt just as jaw dropping as the first time. Jungkook’s pace remained lento except now whenever he was about to push back into you he made sure to lunge himself deeper causing the sounds of his skin slapping against yours to echo within the walls of your room. 
“Oh, Jungkoook,” you let out a drawn-out moan, chanting his name repeatedly, “right-right there, oh, Jungkooook. Right there. Please don’t stop.” 
He continued penetrating you just as you wanted until once again, for the third time that night, you were on the very edge of the planet. You could see the exact place where the sky met the earth. Trotting towards the phenom you felt the way your heartbeat quickened and finally as you approached you began clenching around him until you witnessed an explosion of stars behind your eyes; a feeling so blissful your knuckles turned white as you clutched the sheets underneath you in your grasp. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. .” he hissed pulling out quickly. 
“What’s wrong?” you gasp at the feeling of emptiness now substituted by a ravenous void. 
“I almost finished inside of you and we forgot to wear a condom,” his cock was held tightly in his hand.
You swiped your tongue on your lips, “would you like some help with that?” 
“That is not how today is supposed to go,” he mocked. 
“Fine,” you shrug, “but I was going to offer my body as an alternative.” Jungkook’s  pupils become dilated, your words obviously peeking his interest, “come on my face, Jungkook.” 
“Are you sure?” 
“Positive.” 
Jungkook towered over you on the bed, kneeling right beside you on the bed—by now you were spent, too tired to do anything but lay there and admire the way his head hung back as he worked to find his release. The design of his tattoos followed suit beginning all the way from his shoulder blade, to his flexed and veiny bicep all the way down to the tight clasp of his finger around his shaft moving hastily from base to tip. 
“Look at you, baby girl. All eager for me to come on you,” Jungkook said through clenched teeth, “you’re so naughty for me. All for me.” 
“All for you, Jungkook,” you repeated, “I can’t wait to feel just how warm you’ll be on my face. Come on, baby. ” 
Your mantra of praises rolled off your tongue semi-automatically but you were needy to feel his seed on you so you continued using your words to aid him in the process of jerking off. He continued moving his hand up and down his length until the tip became painted white with drops of pre-come. 
“I’m almost—” he cried out; his guttural whimpers sent waves of glacial shivers interlacing with the ridges of your spine. 
“Yes, Jungkook. Be a good boy.” 
“I am a good boy,” his labored breathing came out in puffs, “I am. .” 
“Then, come on baby. I’m waiting.” 
Jungkook was immersed in what you knew was likely the build-up of his approaching release. His chest inflated and deflated rapidly, while the muscles in his stomach tightened accentuating his already sculpted physique while his cheeks turned a bright scarlet. 
“I’m coming!” He cried out. 
The spurts of his white semen painted your face as he worked himself to the very last drop. Even in his moment of release Jungkook was careful enough to aim towards your mouth and chin and you licked everything within reach of your tongue. 
“Let me get a wet rag and I’ll clean you up okay?” Jungkook stood from the bed and placed a kiss on your forehead before walking towards your bedroom door and opening it up. 
A few seconds went by and suddenly you heard a loud shriek and a plethora of muffled words which sounded a lot like your best friend, Hoseok. Not a lot of time went by before you saw Jungkook enter the room frantically before slamming the door shut and leaning against the wooden surface. 
“Hoseok’s home?” you laughed. 
“And Jimin.” 
“And they saw?” 
“Mhm.” 
“Please remind me to never leave this room naked again.”
“Yes! Please remind him!” Hoseok yelled from just outside the door. 
A bursting titter erupted between the two of you and Jungkook climbed back into bed with you before he helped you wipe off the mess he’d made on your body, then laid down beside you. 
“Can I ask you something?” You began snuggling deeper into his embrace. 
“Yes?.” 
“Will you stay here tonight?” You asked barely above a whisper—barely audible. 
Jungkook rested his chin on the crook of your neck, “of course, I’ll stay with you tonight.” 
There was no place you’d rather be than embraced in the solace of Jungkook’s warmth. 
Tonight, tomorrow, and forever after that. 
I’ll always stay with you.
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an: you know what im about to say right? ignore the smut scene ~if you must~ it literally took me like two weeks to write because my brain wasn’t working >.<
i literally started working on this like a week before seven released…. *gulps*
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lv4jyn · 1 year
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Trigger warning: NSFW !!
Pov: Sunghoon balls deep in you
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rjshope · 6 months
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iloom x RM
+ bonus:
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nochukoo97 · 10 months
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boyfriend drabbles pt. 5
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Pairing: Idol!Jungkook x Idol!Reader (8th member)
Summary: the one where Jungkook is overprotective of you, wanting to make it clear to others that your his girlfriend.
Word count: 800+
a/n: hii another drabble is outt this time its the reader as the 8th member and jk is being kinda cute HAHAHA anyways its my first time writing them in this pov so hope it isnt too bad 😊
masterlist!
“____ please get ready~” Your manager calls out as you stand up, fixing your hair.
All the members were in the waiting room, but they were waiting for you to film some videos with a few other idols before heading back home.
“I’ll be quick,” You say as they look up and nod their head at you, but Jungkook stands up and follows you outside.
Your boyfriend was always so supportive of whatever you did, when you were staying back during rehearsals to polish up your performance, your sweet Jungkook would stay and watch you, giving you feedback and praising your hard work. In times like this where it was individual shoots or filming, he also made an effort to watch you and praise you.
You began filming with other idols like Karina and Taeyong, both of which made you comfortable and you honestly had a good time filming and laughing with them.
It wasn’t uncommon for idols to be nice and friendly to each other behind cameras, but you definitely were wary of who you interacted with, especially since there were still a small number of them who weren’t as pleasant to work with.
You see Jungkook slightly frowning at the next person who walks up to you, the last filming you had to do.
Jay Park. He was infamous for flaming your group, claiming many things and telling it during interviews or talk shows. Your members never directly showed dissatisfaction towards the man, but rather just left him alone.
Another thing to know was that Jungkook was extra protective over you. And right now, he was eyeing the man as Jay Park greeted you, shaking your hand and holding onto it a little longer than your liking.
As you start to dance to his song while filming, you see Jungkook at the corner of your eye smiling proudly at you having fun and dancing well.
But your boyfriend’s expression flipped when you were about to finish the video:
Jay Park puts his arm around your exposed waist and pulls you closer to him for the end shot, holding up a peace sign as you can only internally sigh, uncomfortable with the sudden physical contact.
Jungkook is straight up glaring at the man who currently had his arm wrapped around HIS girlfriend, mind you. He wasn’t one bit happy.
As soon as the video ended, you quickly escaped out of his grasp, frowning slightly but changing your expression to a forced smile when you bow to him, thanking him for filming with you.
You didn’t really want to thank him after what he did.
As Jay Park walks back to his designated room, you watch as your boyfriend purposely walks too close to the other man, bumping into his shoulder.
Then Jungkook puts up an act and profusely apologized for “not seeing him”
You laugh silently at his act as your boyfriend now frowns at you.
“How can he just touch you like that? And out of all places your waist?” Jungkook complains as he grabs your hand, pulling you back into the room.
“I know, I was kinda annoyed at that but I had to pretend,” You say as you enter the room, “But anyways it’s over, it’s fine,”
“It’s not fine that he touched MY girlfriend like that in front of me, knowing damn well that you’re taken,” Jungkook grumbles as he plops himself on the couch.
You stare at your boyfriend in amusement, finding his overprotective state cute.
“What happened? Are you okay?” Jimin looks up from his phone after overhearing your conversation.
You reply “Yes,” wanting to change the topic but Jungkook decides it's crucial to inform everyone in the waiting room how important it is for people to know they shouldn’t touch you like that without asking.
Taehyung laughs at your boyfriend’s exasperated state, and the others watch in amusement.
You’re grateful that Jungkook is so protective and caring of you but right now you can only think how cute his reaction was.
“Okay, okay enough, I’ll just go tattoo “My Boyfriend is Jeon Jungkook, don’t touch me” on my forehead” You tease him as the rest of the members laugh at your joke, Jungkook rolls his eyes at your statement.
“Jagi I’ll make sure nobody ever does that again, or they’re getting it from me,” He tells you.
He sure does his job for the rest of the filming you did.
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useryoongis · 7 months
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snack time !
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syuga-s · 20 days
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when i'm quiet on the other side, know that i'm loving you
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w.c. around 12k 🤭 pairing. Namjoon x female!reader (also Jungkook & reader used to be together) genre. Smut. friends to lovers-ish, pwp, angst (bc it wouldn't be me if there wasn't angst lmao), more pwp, AND FLUFF OFC a/n. NSFW MDNI !!! curse words, alcohol mention, sexual content (fingering, unprotected vaginal penetration, oral m&f!receiving, creampie) ENJOY, let me know if I missed anything okay? <3
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You couldn’t help but wonder how different things might have been if you had made a different choice that night so many months ago.
“Did you go out tonight?”
“I didn’t, you?”
“Nah, it’s way too cold tonight, lol,” “I want us to go for a drink though”
“Last week was way colder than tonight lmao”, “when?”
“Tomorrow, is that okay?”
“Yeah tomorrow works, I’m free after 5”
“Pick you up at 7 then.”
Seven moons waxed and waned, each night bearing the weight of a silent longing that lingered in the spaces between heartbeats. In the quiet of those months, the echoes of your last conversation with Jungkook reverberated like whispered secrets carried on the wind, haunting yet distant. Despite growing even closer with Namjoon, part of you remained tethered to the memories of what could have been.
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You didn’t remember how this started. Until you honestly stopped to think about it, that is.
You met Namjoon through some mutual friends. Every time you went out with them, he seemed to be there. At first, you didn’t think much of him. He was a cool guy, and all your friends were in love with him, but to you, he was just Namjoon.
Your heart was set on someone else, that being one of the main reasons for your way of thinking.
You thought that Jungkook was finally out of your life. After all those months where he kept you hoping that you’d be together, you opened your eyes and understood that being with him was taking you nowhere.
It wasn’t after two years of being on and off with Jungkook that this mess started to happen. But this isn’t about him anymore. It’s what has been happening ever since.
Several months passed, and you had a trip coming up to Barcelona. Not even a day passed when you found out Namjoon and another one of your mutual friends were in the exact same city as you, at the same time.
You were with some of your college friends. You’d been here for about two days, and all your expectations from this week were below average—until that text came to you.
“I want to see you.”
As Namjoon’s text message flashed on your phone screen, a wave of mixed emotions coursed through you. Memories of seeing him at mutual gatherings, his magnetic charisma, and the undeniable chemistry you both shared suddenly flooded your mind. You couldn’t deny the thrill that his message brought. So, you agreed to meet, not really knowing what to expect.
That night in Barcelona, you and Namjoon decided to explore the city’s vibrant nightlife. The streets were alive with the energy of locals and tourists alike, and the possibilities seemed endless. As you walked through the illuminated streets, the conversation flowed effortlessly.
Namjoon turned to you with a playful glint in his eye. “Barcelona sure knows how to stay alive at night, right?”
You nodded, taking in the enchanting atmosphere. “It does, another city that never sleeps.”
That particular night in Barcelona, you and Namjoon didn’t dwell on the complexities of your dynamic. Instead, you focused on the here and now, indulging in the city’s vibrant nightlife. The streets were alive with the pulsating rhythms of music, and the possibilities for adventure seemed endless.
As you hopped from one lively club to another, the music enveloped you, and you both let loose. You danced together, swaying to the intoxicating beats with occasional laughter and shared glances that needed no words. Namjoon’s occasional hand on your waist or his deep voice softly spoken into your ear amidst the music created a sense of electric chemistry.
In the middle of it all, you reached a state of drunken bliss where the world seemed to blur, and nothing else mattered but the man in front of you. The two of you laughed uncontrollably at inside jokes that would be etched in your mind forever.
It was a night of liberation. The beauty of Barcelona’s nightlife and the intoxication of the moment allowed you to escape into a realm of pure joy.
As the night peaked, the connection between you and Namjoon became more intimate. The night transitioned seamlessly from the vibrant energy of the city to the warmth and comfort of Namjoon’s room.
As you stood on the balcony of Namjoon’s room, overlooking the twinkling city lights below, you felt the warmth of his body radiating towards you. You leaned back against the railing, your heart pounding as you looked up at him. He was so close, yet so far away.
Namjoon’s gaze locked onto you, and he could see the desire burning within your eyes. He felt his own heart quicken, his breath hitching in his throat as he moved closer to you. He reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, his touch sending shivers down your spine.
“Namjoon,” you whispered, your voice trembling with need.
He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a gentle kiss. You melted into him, your arms wrapping around his neck as you deepened the kiss. You could feel his heart pounding in time with your own, bodies pressed together in a dance as old as time.
As you broke apart, gasping for breath, Namjoon trailed his fingers down your arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. He could feel the heat radiating off your body, and he knew that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice low and husky.
You nodded, eyes shining with desire. “Yes,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “I want this. I want you.”
Namjoon’s heart skipped a beat at your words. He leaned in again, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. His hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch of you for the first time. You couldn’t help but moan softly, your body trembling with desire.
He pulled away from the kiss, his breath coming in short gasps. “Fuck,” he whispered, his voice filled with both awe and desperation.
He guided you back to his bed. You looked up at him through hooded eyes, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. “Please,” you begged in a soft voice. “I need you.”
That was all it took to push Namjoon over the edge. He cupped your face in his hands and kissed you fiercely, pouring every ounce of pent-up desire into the kiss.
His hands moved down to the hem of your shirt, and he lifted it over your head in one swift motion, tossing it aside without a second thought. His gaze roamed your exposed skin hungrily, like a starving man who had just been presented with a feast.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his voice filled with genuine appreciation as he traced the outline of your bra with his fingertips. “You’ve always been so, so beautiful.”
You found yourselves pausing your hunger for a few minutes, basking in each other’s presence. You ended up leaning into the comfort of Namjoon’s arms. Both halted the intensity of the abrupt contact, with comfortable silences filling the gaps as you both lost yourself in the city sounds playing softly in the background. The dim light from the room cast a warm glow on Namjoon’s face, highlighting his features and making him even more irresistible.
Feeling a sudden rush of boldness, you moved closer to him, your body instinctively seeking his warmth. His eyes met yours, a silent question lingering in them. He pulled you even closer into his embrace, your bodies molding together as if they were two pieces of a puzzle.
His scent enveloped you, a mix of his cologne and something uniquely him. Your heart pounded in your chest as you felt his breath tickling the skin of your neck. His fingers traced lazy patterns on your back, causing a shiver to run down your spine. This was new, yet it felt so right.
With a soft sigh, you let your head fall back, exposing the long line of your neck. Namjoon’s lips found that sensitive skin, tracing a path down to the hollow of your throat. His fingers continued their exploration, now sliding through your thighs.
You shivered at his touch, your body begging for more. “Namjoon,” you whispered, your voice husky with desire.
He looked up at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of lust and tenderness. “Yes, y/n?”
“I want you to fuck me,” you confessed. Feeling bolder this time, you thought it was your turn to take your hands downtown. You dipped your hand into the hollow of his stomach before going down to trail kisses along the waistband of his pants. Namjoon groaned as he realized where this was headed.
Before he could protest, not that he would, you made quick work of undoing his belt to remove both it and his pants. Namjoon helped you undo them, his breath hitching as you wrapped your hand around his length. He was hard and ready, just as you were. Now fully exposed before you, he shifted uncomfortably under your gaze.
Catching onto his hesitation, you reassured him with a smile. “Don’t worry,” you said softly. “I think I’ve wanted this for a long time.”
Namjoon’s eyes softened as he reached out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ve thought about you, too,” he confessed. “You have no idea.”
With a swift motion, you stepped out of your own jeans, too, kicking them aside.
You reached behind yourself to unclasp the bra and let it fall to the floor before pulling Namjoon’s shirt over his head and discarding it as well.
Now, almost completely naked, there you stood before him, your bodies mere inches apart. Namjoon’s hands rested on your hips, pulling you closer. His thumb traced circles on your hip bone, sending waves of pleasure through you.
Namjoon’s breath hitched in his throat. A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips at the reaction you were able to elicit from him.
Time seemed to slow down as I took in the sight before me – this was real; he wanted me just as much as I wanted him now.
You went down on him and took him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip before taking him deeper. Namjoon tangled his fingers in your hair, guiding you as you moved up and down on his length. The sight of you on your knees before him, taking him so willingly, was almost too much for him to handle.
“Shit,” he grunted, his hips thrusting forward involuntarily. “I’m gonna come too soon if you keep that up.”
You pulled away with a wicked smile, pressing yourself against Namjoon’s body. He could feel how wet you were even through the fabric of your panties, and he groaned in frustration.
“Why are we still wearing these?” he asked, his voice filled with need as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties and pulled them down your legs.
Once you were both naked, Namjoon’s hand trailed downwards until it found its way between your legs. He ran a finger along your folds teasingly before slipping it inside of you.
You moaned softly at the feeling of being stretched by his finger. “I’m sure we can do more than that,” you begged in a needy voice.
Namjoon added a second finger, pumping them in and out of you at a steady pace. He curled his fingers upwards, searching for that sweet spot deep inside of you.
“God,” he groaned as he felt your walls clench around his fingers. “You’re so fucking tight.”
He continued to work his fingers inside of you until he felt your body start to shake with the first layer of your orgasm. Your back arched off the bed, and a loud moan escaped from your lips as pleasure made your body tremble.
Namjoon removed his fingers from your dripping wet core and brought them up to his mouth, sucking on them eagerly as he tasted your essence.
“You taste so good,” he said, his voice filled with genuine appreciation before moving downwards until he was positioned between your legs.
He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your inner thigh before trailing a path of kisses up toward your throbbing center. His tongue flicked out and ran along your folds teasingly before zeroing in on your clit.
You gasped at the sensation of Namjoon’s warm tongue against your sensitive bud. He circled it slowly at first, the pressure increasing with every stroke. The combination of his skilled tongue and the way his hands were gripping the flesh of your thighs was driving you absolutely wild.
“Namjoon, stop,” you moaned, the sound of his name on your lips like a prayer. “I’m gonna cum again,”
Namjoon hummed against you in response, sending vibrations coursing through your body that pushed you right to the edge. His tongue moved faster and more insistently against your clit, bringing you closer and closer to the brink of ecstasy.
With one final flick of his tongue, you shattered into a million pieces beneath him. Your body convulsed with pleasure as wave after wave of bliss washed over you.
Namjoon lapped up every drop of your release, not wanting to miss a single drop of you. Once you had come down from your high, he climbed back up the bed and pulled you into his arms.
You buried your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent as you basked in the afterglow of your passion. “You’re really good at that,” you said softly.
Namjoon pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “You taste amazing. I couldn’t help myself,” he replied, his voice filled with genuine affection. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”
You looked up at him with a smile and brushed a strand of hair away from his face. There was so much more that you wanted to say, but words were unnecessary at that moment.
Instead, you let your actions speak for themselves as you pulled Namjoon closer and kissed him deeply. The taste of yourself on his lips only served to fuel the fire that was still burning between you.
As the kiss deepened, Namjoon’s hand trailed downwards once again until it found its way between your legs. He could feel how wet you still were, and a surge of desire shot through him like electricity.
He positioned himself at your entrance and looked into your eyes for confirmation before slowly pushing inside of you. You moaned softly at the feeling of being stretched around him once again, nails digging into his shoulders as he filled every inch of you.
Namjoon began to move slowly at first, savoring every sensation as he thrust in and out of your dripping wet core. With each movement, he felt himself getting lost in an ocean that only the two of you could create together.
The rhythm quickly escalated. Your hips bucked against him, meeting each thrust with one of your own. The room was filled with the sounds of the bed creaking beneath you, skin slapping against skin, and moans mingling with whispers. It felt like time had ceased to exist as the world narrowed down to just the two of you, connected in every possible way.
The pace quickened as your bodies moved in perfect sync, building towards a shared climax that was just within reach. Namjoon’s thrusts became more urgent and desperate, like a man on the edge of sanity who was about to lose himself completely.
You could feel your walls clenching around him as an overwhelming sense of pleasure began to build deep within your core. “Namjoon,” you moaned, his name like a prayer on your lips. “I’m cu-”
With one final thrust, you both went hurtling over the edge together; your bodies shuddered and shook with the force of your release.
Eventually, the bliss receded, and you found yourselves once again floating back down to reality. Namjoon collapsed beside you and pulled you into his arms, holding onto you tightly as he tried to catch his breath.
“That was...” he trailed off, searching for the right words to describe what had just happened between you.
“Really fucking hot,” you supplied with a smile.
Hours after being together, you and Namjoon shared a cozy meal on his hotel room balcony, savoring Barcelona’s cuisine. With the city’s magic still lingering in the air, you both settled into a deep conversation about your shared passion for music.
As the minutes passed, you found yourselves planning to attend several concerts together in the coming weeks and months. The anticipation of sharing those experiences added another layer of intimacy to your thing.
You both lay intertwined in each other’s arms, cuddled in the dimly lit room. Fingers traced gentle patterns on each other’s skin, and you shared soft kisses that spoke volumes in their tenderness. That night was filled with smooth, whispered conversations, with playful moments of playing with each other’s hair.
Your time with Namjoon had an electric undercurrent that couldn’t be ignored. While not a romantic undertone, it was clear that there was a magnetic attraction between you two. You shared passionate moments, intimate conversations, and nights filled with desire that went beyond being ‘just friends.’
As you returned home, you both acknowledged the nature of your connection. A “friends with benefits” arrangement that allowed you to explore your feelings without the pressure of defining a full-blown relationship. The connection was intense, yet you hesitated to leap into something more serious.
You’d meet up when schedules allowed, enjoying each other’s company in and out of the bedroom. Your feelings for Namjoon were confusing, and you knew he felt the same way, so neither of you was ready to put a label on it.
As time passed, the relationship continued to evolve. It was a constant push and pull, a dance of desire and restraint. You shared everything with him, but the commitment to a traditional relationship still felt elusive.
Your life continued to grow more complex with each passing day. Not only were you navigating this with Namjoon and what you started doing after Barcelona, but you also had a history with Jungkook, and there already was a connection between these two men.
Jungkook, your on-again, off-again for the past two years, had been a source of both love and, of course, heartache in your life. It was a tumultuous relationship, filled with moments of intense connection followed by periods of emotional distance. He kept you dancing around the idea of commitment, yet he seemed reluctant to fully embrace it.
What made the situation even more difficult was the fact that Jungkook and Namjoon were very close friends. Your social circles had overlapped, and you couldn’t help but wonder if Jungkook had any inkling of your growing connection with Namjoon.
As you delved into the ‘benefits’ dynamic with Namjoon, it added a layer of secrecy to your life.
Your feelings for Jungkook have always been intense and genuine. He was the one you had envisioned a future with, and you longed for a committed, loving relationship. But Jungkook’s reluctance to settle down left you in a state of constant disappointment. He wanted the freedom to explore other options, yet he always kept you within arm’s reach, knowing he could turn to you whenever he pleased.
This cycle was taking a toll on you, causing not only the never-ending heartbreak but also a growing sense of frustration and exhaustion. It was clear to everyone, including your mutual friends, that you were deeply in love with Jungkook, but they also saw the toll it was taking on your well-being.
Namjoon, always so observant and compassionate, saw a glimmer of an opportunity. He understood the depths of your affection for Jungkook and sensed your growing disillusionment. He didn’t plan to interfere but couldn’t help but be drawn to your unique energy and the connection you two shared.
The situation was not of your making. Both Jungkook and Namjoon actively sought you out, and you, despite your love for Jungkook, found it challenging to resist the magnetic pull of your connection with Namjoon.
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Jimin’s birthday was a pivotal moment. At that time, you and Jungkook had been mad at each other, tensions simmering beneath the surface. When you arrived at the bar to celebrate, you greeted everyone but Jungkook. The air was thick with unspoken words, and the distance between you was palpable.
Feeling the need for a moment of respite, you slipped away for a cigarette break, seeking solace in the night’s breeze. During this break, you found Taehyung, one of your close friends, who helped you calm down for the night.
Eventually, the group decided to move to another bar, and the atmosphere lightened as everyone indulged in the evening. The drinks flowed, and laughter filled the air. All was good again.
As the night drew to a close, Namjoon kindly offered to drive everyone home in his car. The group piled in, and it was cramped, to say the least. Amid the chaos, you found yourself sitting in Jungkook’s lap, something that was not your choice.
It was during this car ride that Jungkook’s emotional side emerged, fueled by alcohol. He revealed that he was leaving for another country for six months, a fact he had kept hidden from you. You were blindsided by this news and felt a surge of anger and frustration. How could he not have shared this with you before?
Throughout the evening, Namjoon had been watching you closely. He observed how you barely interacted with Jungkook since your arrival and acknowledged the underlying tension. However, he couldn’t deny the surge of anger he felt when you ended up in Jungkook’s lap, even if it was out of necessity.
In the aftermath of Jimin’s birthday, Jungkook planned a farewell dinner for the group on the following Friday. The dinner was heartwarming, even in those conditions. Afterward, you all decided to go for drinks, further complicating everything.
The bar you hit up after dinner turned into a bit of a downer for you. While Jungkook was busy having a blast with everyone else, he seemed to be totally ignoring you. And then, to top it off, he started cozying up to his best friend on the dance floor – talk about a buzzkill. You tried to play it cool, but deep down, it was eating you up inside. Your head was saying, I won’t get jealous, I won’t get jealous, but he kept laughing with her and holding her close to him.
You tried to distract yourself by keeping yourself glued to Taehyung and Jimin, but it was tough to keep up with their conversation when your mind was in a whirl. Chiming in occasionally was getting more complicated, so you let a bitter laugh at the ceiling, excusing yourself to go to the bathroom for a bit, asking your friends to keep your drink safe. Staring at yourself in the mirror, trying to get rid of your pathetic, sad eyes, you felt like you were stuck in some cheesy rom-com.
You couldn’t bear yourself anymore. You knew it wasn’t the girl’s fault, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of what if something was happening between them. You began spiraling, knowing you had to leave the place.
At the risk of seeing Jungkook’s silhouette on your way back to the table, you decided it was time to make a quick exit. Grabbing your purse, you muttered to your friends, “I’ll be right back,” under the pretense of needing some air, and dashed off before anyone could stop you.
Namjoon saw the whole picture. He was aware of your every move and how quick you left the bar. He worried at the thought of your utter goodbye for the night.
In the past days leading up to tonight, Namjoon found himself wrestling with conflicting emotions. On one hand, he longed to be closer to you, to break through the walls you had built around your heart. Yet, on the other hand, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt at the thought of finding happiness in Jungkook’s absence.
When you stepped outside, the weight of the night’s events hit you like a ton of bricks. You stood there on the sidewalk, feeling lost and overwhelmed. You instantly knew it was too much to actually leave like that. Pulling out your lighter and a cigarette, you took a moment to gather your thoughts. It was one of those times when you wished to call your mom and ask her, “can you pick me up?” but I guess ‘we’re too old for that.’ The air around you wasn’t even cold, but everything felt unbearably heavy.
As you stood there, lost in your thoughts, hard to believe that the asshole you love is having the time of his life. Good for him. You kept rambling. Are you really that detestable? How could he be having the time of his life while you were left feeling so insignificant? It stung to realize that he hadn’t even bothered to tell you about his plans to go for half a year. It was like a slap in the face, a painful reminder of how little you seemed to matter to him.
And the fucking icing on the cake is that tonight, you don’t even exist in his world.
As you were spiraling into a whirlwind of more negative emotions, your phone suddenly rang, jolting you out of your thoughts. Glancing at the screen, you saw ‘Joonie’ flashing back at you. With a sigh, you extinguished your cigarette and answered the call.
“Hello?” you greeted, your voice tinged with a hint of frustration.
From the background noise, you could tell that Namjoon was evidently still at the bar. “Care to tell me why you left?” he asked, his tone laced with concern.
You couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh. “I didn’t leave. I’m just outside having a chat with my cig,” you replied sarcastically.
There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line before Namjoon spoke again. “And you didn’t think to include me? I’ve been meaning to talk to that guy,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.
As Namjoon’s voice filled your ears, a mixture of relief and surprise washed over you. You hadn’t expected him to call, let alone humor you in your self-imposed exile outside the bar.
“I didn’t realize you were such good friends with cigarettes,” you replied, a hint of amusement creeping into your voice despite the heaviness of the situation.
There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before Namjoon chuckled softly. “Well, you know me. Always looking to fraternize,” he quipped, his tone warm and lighthearted.
You couldn’t help but smile at his attempt to lighten the mood, grateful for his presence even from a distance. “Thanks for calling Joonie,” you said, the affectionate nickname slipping from your lips without a second thought.
“Anytime,” Namjoon replied, his voice softening with sincerity. “But jokes aside, are you okay?”
The concern in Namjoon’s voice tugged at your heartstrings, reminding you once again of the depth of his care for you. “I’ll be fine,” you reassured him, although the words felt hollow even to your own ears.
There was another moment of silence, punctuated only by the distant strains of music drifting from the bar. “Do you want me to come out there?” Namjoon asked, his voice laced with anxiety.
As much as you wanted to say yes, to feel the comfort of Namjoon’s presence beside you, you couldn’t bring yourself to burden him with your own shit. “No, it’s okay,” you replied, forcing a note of conviction into your voice. “I just needed some air.”
Namjoon didn’t press the issue. He knew what was happening and understood the meaning of your words. Instead, he simply said, “Alright, but get back inside already. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
Even during your turmoil, Namjoon was there for you. “Okaaaaayyyy dad,” you replied, full of sarcasm.
Namjoon laughed softly, his voice carrying a warmth that eased the ache in your chest. “I’ll be here whenever you’re ready to come back in.”
As you made your way back inside the bar to the table where Jimin and Taehyung were seated, their expressions were a mixture of sympathy and awareness. “Are you okay?” Jimin asked, his voice soft but filled with genuine worry.
You forced a smile, attempting to mask the turmoil raging inside you. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied, taking your long-forgotten and watered-down drink in one go, waving your hand dismissively. But they could see through the facade, sensing the underlying chaos that threatened to consume you.
Without a word, Namjoon approached the table. He placed his hand at the small of your back, offering silent support and understanding. In that moment, you felt grateful for his unwavering presence amidst your own drama.
You leaned against Namjoon’s torso and rubbed his chest before excusing yourself from the table once more. This time, however, you didn’t head for the exit. Instead, you made your way to the bar to order a considerable amount of drinks, already determined to stop feeling this level of shitty.
As you stood at the bar, ordering your drinks, you couldn’t shake the unease lingering within you. The noise of the crowded bar seemed to fade into the background as you wrestled with your thoughts, your mind consumed by the events of the evening.
On the other hand, Namjoon was careful to avoid the watchful eyes of your friends, who were scattered throughout the crowded bar. He trailed after you with a sense of purpose, his steps deliberate yet discreet. When he saw you at the bar, he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist from behind.
At that moment, Namjoon’s heart swelled. Part of him wanted to console you for your evident emotional state. But another part couldn’t deny the selfish desire to hold you close, to revel in the warmth of your presence, even as you struggled with your own demons.
Leaning in, Namjoon gently kissed your right cheek, a silent offering of reassurance and understanding. To his relief, you sighed softly, your eyes closing as you leaned into his embrace, resting your head against his shoulder without a second thought.
“You look way too hot tonight to be feeling like this,” he whispered softly, his words a tender acknowledgment of your heartache. Despite the seriousness of the situation, his tone showed a hint of playful sincerity.
A voice interrupted the moment, cutting through the noise like a knife. Neither of you noticed Jungkook’s approach until it was too late. Drunk and unsteady on his feet, Jungkook stumbled over to the bar, his eyes widening in disbelief as he caught sight of the two of you together.
"Y/N?" The voice was slurred, unmistakably Jungkook’s. You tensed in Namjoon’s arms, your heart pounding in your chest as you turned to see Jungkook standing a few feet away, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief.
“Jungkook,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady despite the tumult of emotions swirling inside you.
Namjoon tensed beside you, his grip on your waist tightening almost imperceptibly, his expression unreadable.
“Well, well, well, look what we have here,” Jungkook slurred, his words dripping with sarcasm as he stared at you and Namjoon. “Didn’t know you were into my friends, Y/N. Guess you’ll take anyone who gives an ounce of attention, huh?”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you momentarily speechless as you recoiled from the unexpected attack. Namjoon, however, was quick to react, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive as he stepped forward to confront Jungkook.
“Hey, that’s enough, man,” Namjoon said firmly, his voice cutting through the air as he placed himself between you and Jungkook.
You felt a pang of regret at what you had inadvertently caused, knowing that Jungkook had every right to feel hurt by seeing you with his friend.
“Y/N... and Namjoon,” Jungkook slurred, his words laced with a hint of mockery. “I never would’ve guessed.”
Namjoon’s jaw clenched in frustration. “Come on, man, you’re drunk, and you’re out of line.” Jungkook scoffed, flickering between you and Namjoon with a mixture of disbelief and anger. “Out of line?” he echoed, his tone dripping with sarcasm. I’m just stating the obvious, aren’t I, Y/N?”
Namjoon placed a calming hand on his shoulder, his touch reassuringly. “Let’s not make a scene,” he said quietly, warning Jungkook. “You’re not yourself right now. We’ll talk about this later.”
For a moment, Jungkook seemed to waver, his drunken facade faltering. But then, with a bitter laugh, he turned and stumbled away.
Turning back to you with a look of concern. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of distress.
You nodded, offering him a shaky smile as you tried to push aside the hurtful words that lingered in the air. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “Let’s just get out of here, please.”
The next day dawned with a sense of unease, the previous night’s events still fresh in your mind. As you woke to the harsh light of day filtering through your curtains, you couldn’t shake the discomfort that settled over you like a heavy blanket.
Dragging yourself out of bed, you checked your phone to find a message from Jungkook, his words a stark reminder of the events that had unfolded the night before. “Hey, did you come to the bar last night?” he wrote, his tone casual as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. “I can’t remember a thing, lmao.”
On one hand, his casual tone and obliviousness to the events of the previous night grated on your nerves, but on the other hand, there was a sense of relief knowing that he seemed unaware of the tension that had hung between you, at least for now.
With a heavy sigh, you composed a response, your fingers tapping out a brief reply. “Yeah, I was there,” you wrote, your words tinged with a hint of bitterness you couldn’t shake. “What a night, huh? I’m glad you had fun.”
Meanwhile, on Namjoon’s end, the morning brought a sense of apprehension as he grappled with the aftermath of the confrontation with Jungkook. Despite his best efforts to put on a brave front, he couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt that gnawed at him from within.
Throughout the day, he debated whether or not to touch the subject with Jungkook. Still, his resolve faltered each time he tried to gather the courage. How could he confront his friend about his behavior without risking losing you?
As the hours passed, it became increasingly clear that Jungkook had no recollection of the events that had transpired the night before. His mind was fogged by the haze of alcohol, and he seemed oblivious to your exchange, leaving Namjoon at a loss for how to proceed.
After the farewell dinner passed, Namjoon became aware of your persistent efforts to see Jungkook one last time before his departure. He observed as you reached out to Jungkook, only to be met with excuses. Jungkook definitely didn’t want to make the effort to see you.
In the middle of the week, all the guys went out to grab some food; Namjoon sat in the backseat of the car alongside Jungkook, Jimin in the passenger seat, and Taehyung at the wheel. He noticed Jungkook’s phone light up with your name on the screen. It was already dark outside, so the glow from the phone illuminated Jungkook’s face, and Namjoon clearly saw your name on the screen.
It wasn’t a silent ride, so Namjoon didn’t know how the hell he could hear your voice so well as you spoke to Jungkook. Your desperation was palpable, each word carrying the weight of your emotions as you questioned Jungkook about what he had been up to and if he hadn’t gotten the chance to see any of your texts. Namjoon felt a pang of sympathy as he listened, knowing all too well the pain you were feeling.
Jungkook’s response was vague, and his attitude spoke volumes during the conversation.
It was a moment of rawness, the culmination of all your emotions laid bare in a single question. “Can’t you see I was in love with you?” As you spoke, your voice trembled with emotion, the words hanging heavy in the air. “I never asked you for anything,” you continued, your tone tinged with desperation. “nothing, Jungkook, not for you to move in with me or marry me; I just wanted to be with you.” Each word was punctuated by the ache of unfulfilled longing, a plea for understanding in the face of uncertainty. “I don’t get why we can’t be together,” you confessed, the weight of your heartache evident in your voice.
As Namjoon listened to your heartfelt plea, his heart sank with the weight of your words. He felt the tension in the air, a palpable reminder of the turmoil brewing beneath the surface. Unsure of what to do, he found himself fidgeting with his phone, his fingers tracing aimless patterns on the screen. He glanced briefly at Jungkook, whose expression remained unreadable, before clearing his throat in an attempt to dispel the heavy silence that hung over them. “Should we try that new restaurant that just opened up downtown?” Namjoon suggested his voice as carefully neutral as possible. He knew that your words had struck a chord in his friend.
As Jungkook struggled to find the right way to respond to your words, his mind raced with conflicting emotions. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. His silence hanging heavy in the air.
Sensing his hesitation, you felt a surge of tears welling up inside. Without waiting for him to finally say something, you abruptly ended the call, your actions driven more by the need to release your pent-up emotions than a desire to hear Jungkook’s explanation. The line went silent, leaving Jungkook alone with his thoughts, grappling with the weight of your words and his own inability to answer.
Jungkook’s feelings for you remained ambiguous. It was evident that there was a deep connection between you and him. He knew he loved the attention you gave him without fully understanding your feelings. To be completely honest, you caught him off guard tonight.
He never expected your affection to run so deeply, and the words you just revealed to him left him feeling surprised and perhaps a bit overwhelmed. Jungkook may have underestimated the extent of your emotions and failed to recognize the depth of what he had with you until now.
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Namjoon picked you up at the hour he promised. He didn’t waste time and started asking you about what you had been up to. He said he wanted to know how you liked the last music festival you went to, how work had been, and barely five minutes had passed.
“So, where do you want to go?” “I was thinking we could go to one of the bars near my place; what do you think?”
“Sure, I haven’t gone out at all lately”, “did you have one in mind?”
“Wait, tell me first, did you already have dinner?”
You shook your head.
“Good because I haven’t either.” What do you say if we go home and have dinner instead?”
“I’d like that”, “what about some takeout?”
On your way to get food and to his house, he didn’t stop talking for the whole ride; he kept asking all these things about you. And it’s not like you’ve not seen this side of him, but it felt nice that someone was interested enough to ask about your life lately.
The conversation flowed effortlessly as you sat on his bed, eating and watching a movie. You talked about books and films and even asked if you’d considered having children someday. The atmosphere between you was electric, as always, and Namjoon couldn’t help but be swept up in it.
Getting your containers out of the way, he gently hugged you closer, feeling the warmth of your body against his. Your heart raced at his touch, you could never deny the connection between you. “Aren’t you cold?” He began to kiss your neck, sending shivers down your spine as his lips explored your sensitive skin.
The movie played in the background, but you barely noticed as Namjoon pressed you closer, his body molding against yours. “Not anymore,” and then he kissed you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth as his hands roamed your body.
The heat between you was undeniable as Namjoon lifted you onto his lap, your legs straddling him as he rutted into you. You moaned with pleasure, your bodies moving in a rhythm that felt both new and familiar.
Your hands tangled in his hair as you kissed him passionately, lost in the moment. Namjoon’s hands roamed over your body, tracing every curve and leaving a fire trail in their wake. The air around you was thick with desire as you both gave in to the electricity that pulsed between you.
His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, nibbling and sucking on the sensitive skin, marking you as his. Each touch sent jolts of pleasure straight to your core, causing your breath to hitch and your body to arch against him.
“Namjoon,” you moaned his name softly, the sound music to his ears. He lifted you effortlessly, laying you down on the bed so that he could hover above you. His eyes held a mixture of hunger and adoration as he took in the sight before him.
“You’re so hot,” he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity. You felt a blush creep onto your cheeks at his words, but before you could respond, his lips were on yours again.
The kiss was deep and passionate, igniting a fire within you that threatened to consume everything in its path. Namjoon’s hands explored every inch of your body, leaving no skin untouched. The soft fabric of your clothes became an obstacle that needed to be removed. With nimble fingers, he began undressing you.
When all barriers were gone, he took a moment to admire the sight before him - your naked body spread out beneath him like it was the first time his eyes ever saw you. You squirmed under his gaze. 
Get a grip. This is not the first time this has happened.
He leaned down and captured one of your nipples between his lips while his hand massaged the other breast. The sensation was overwhelming as pleasure coursed through every nerve ending in your body.
Your back arched as you moaned his name loudly into the room. Namjoon continued to lavish attention on your breasts, alternating between gentle sucking and teasing flicks of his tongue.
His lips traveled a path of hot kisses down your stomach, leaving a fire trail in their wake. He peppered your skin with soft bites and licks as he made his way to the apex of your thighs.
The anticipation built within you as you felt his warm breath against your core. When his tongue finally made contact with your sensitive bud, a moan ripped from your throat. It was intense, almost too much to handle, as he expertly swirled his tongue around your clit.
Your hips bucked involuntarily as waves of ecstasy crashed over you like an earthquake. Namjoon held onto your thighs, keeping you in place as he continued to devour you with his mouth. His hands were firm yet gentle as they held onto you, grounding you in the sea of pleasure that threatened to sweep you away.
As the intensity grew, so did the need for more. You tugged at Namjoon’s hair, urging him to come up to kiss you. He complied, moving up your body until his lips met yours once again.
You flipped him over so that now you were straddling him again. Your hands roamed over his muscular chest and abdomen before trailing lower to remove his pants.
The familiar sight before you took your breath away - Namjoon completely naked and at your mercy. His length stood proudly at your attention, begging for your touch. You wrapped one hand around him firmly while using the other to tease his balls.
The anticipation built within him as he felt your warm breath against his neck. You peppered his skin with soft bites and kisses as you made your way to the apex of his thighs.
When you finally took him in your mouth, all coherent thought fled from Namjoon’s mind. The sensation was indescribable - a mixture of wet heat and suction that threatened to push him over the edge before he even had a chance to enjoy it fully.
Your tongue swirled around the tip of his length. At the same time, you maintained eye contact with him, the sight alone nearly enough to send him hurling into oblivion.
As if reading his mind, you hollowed out your cheeks and took him in deeper, maintaining eye contact the entire time. Namjoon’s hips bucked involuntarily as pleasure surged through every fiber of his being.
“Oh fuck,” he moaned loudly, the sound reverberating throughout the room. Encouraged by his reaction, you continued to work him with your mouth, alternating between long strokes and teasing flicks of your tongue.
Namjoon’s hands found their way into your hair, holding onto you for dear life as he rode out the electric charges coursing through his veins. The feeling was almost too much to bear, in the best possible way.
He could feel the pressure building within him as he neared the point of no return. With one final thrust of his hips and a low groan that quickly turned into a string of curses, Namjoon came undone.
His release flooded your mouth in hot spurts, the taste always so addictive. You swallowed him down eagerly. When he finally finished, and his body went limp with pleasure, you released him from your mouth.
Namjoon’s head fell back against the pillow and a groan escaped his lips. The sound was like music to your ears as it signaled that you drove him just as wild as he was driving you.
You leaned forward and captured one of his nipples between your lips, sucking gently. Namjoon’s hands found their way to your hips, holding you in place as he thrust upwards, seeking more friction, not giving room to his own overstimulation.
The combined sensations were overwhelming as pleasure surged through every fiber of your being. You continued to grind slowly, relishing in the way his breath hitched and his body reacted to your touch.
“Fuck, I need to be inside,” Namjoon groaned, his voice filled with desperation. The words sent a surge of heat straight to your core as you felt the wetness between your thighs increase.
You positioned yourself over him, lining him up with your entrance before slowly sinking down onto his length. You never got used to the exquisite feeling of fullness he gave you when he filled you completely, stretching you in all the right ways.
Namjoon’s hands gripped onto your hips tightly as you began to move, riding him at a pace that left both of you breathless. His eyes never left yours as he watched all of your emotions play out on your face.
The sounds of skin slapping were intoxicating. Every movement brought you closer and closer to the edge until you finally felt yourself teetering on the edge.
“I’m coming,” you managed to gasp out between moans. Namjoon nodded in understanding, his own release rapidly approaching. He reached between your bodies and began rubbing circles on your clit, pushing you over the edge.
Stars exploded behind your eyelids as a powerful orgasm crashed over you. You clamped down on Namjoon’s length as pleasure pulsed through every nerve ending in your body.
The sight was enough to send Namjoon rushing into his own orgasm. With a loud groan, he spilled himself inside of you, filling you up and leaving you all warm and pliant.
He collapsed beside you, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. You rested your head against him, your thoughts suddenly swirling with confusion and desire.
Another movie on TV played in the background, but once again, it went unnoticed as Namjoon pressed soft kisses against your forehead.
As you lay in Namjoon’s chest, your body still warm from his touch, you began questioning your decisions. The weight of the moment pressed against your chest as you listened to the rhythm of his heart. It was a stark reminder that you were here with him, tangled in the sheets, while Jungkook remained out of reach.
It was the pain of missing someone so unattainable.
“I’m so glad we talked,” he playfully whispered against your skin. You looked up at him, and Namjoon sensed the shift in your demeanor. He propped himself up on one elbow, his gaze tracing over the contours of your face. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, concern lacing his voice.
You turned your head to meet his gaze and offered a small smile. “Yeah,” you replied, though uncertainty lingered in your words. “Just...thinking.”
He reached out a hand to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering against the curve of your jaw. Namjoon’s dark eyes held an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat. “About what?” he inquired.
You hesitated for a moment before deciding to be honest with him. After all, he had been nothing but open and sincere with you since your dynamic began to form. “Suddenly, I just started wondering...what am I doing” you admitted, searching for the right words to explain yourself.
Namjoon’s expression softened as he took in your words, understanding blooming across his features. He shifted closer to you, closing the remaining distance between your bodies and cupping your face in his hands. “You’re here doing this with me because we both want this,” he said firmly yet gently.
His thumb traced circles along your cheekbone as he continued speaking. “I know it’s complicated,” Namjoon acknowledged, his voice filled with empathy. “But we've built something mind-blowing—we can’t deny that.”
Your heart swelled at his words. Namjoon saw past the physical desire, recognizing the emotional entanglement that had brought you to this moment.
He leaned in, his lips brushing against your forehead in a tender gesture. “I don’t want you to overthink this,” Namjoon murmured. “Just let yourself feel, and we’ll figure it out somewhere along the way.”
His words resonated with you, easing the whirlwind of thoughts spinning through your mind. In this quiet and intimate moment, Namjoon had provided the reassurance and grounding that you needed.
You wrapped your arms around him, in awe of what he just told you. His body melded with yours, offering warmth and solace in a way that no one else had. Here, in the sanctuary of his arms, you allowed yourself to surrender to his intoxicating hugs.
The weight of uncertainty began to lift as passion replaced doubt. Namjoon’s touch ignited a fire within you—one that burned away insecurities and hesitations.
With a newfound sense of clarity, you tilted your head up to capture his lips with yours in a searing kiss. It was a silent admittance—a shared understanding.
Namjoon responded eagerly, his lips moving hungrily against yours as desire flared between you. The air grew thick with anticipation as the heat intensified, driving all rational thought from your mind.
In this moment—this raw and unfiltered desire—you were able to set aside the complexities of love and longing. It was just the two of you, bodies entwined.
You ground your hips against him, aching for more of his touch. The friction between you was intoxicating, and the hunger in Namjoon’s eyes mirrored your own.
With one hand gripping your waist, he used the other to trace a path down your body, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.
Needing to feel more of him, you tugged at his torso, silently urging him to get closer. Namjoon obliged.
Unable to resist any longer, you leaned in to press a kiss against his collarbone. Slowly, you worked your way across his chest, nipping and sucking at his skin along the way. Each moan that escaped from Namjoon’s lips only spurred you on.
Namjoon’s hands roamed over your body, creating an inferno wherever they touched. Desire pooled low in your stomach as his fingers traced patterns on your skin, igniting a fire that hadn’t been extinguished earlier.
Unable to wait longer, you straddled him again, aligning your bodies so perfectly that it felt like coming home. The heat radiating from his hard length made you gasp in anticipation; you needed him desperately once again.
Namjoon’s hands found their way to the small of your back as he pulled you impossibly closer until there was no space left between. Every ridge and plane of your bodies met and melded together as if they were always meant to be this way.
Your eyes locked in before he finally entered you, inch by glorious inch. A moan escaped both your lips at this new sensation; it hasn't felt like this before. It was clear that brand new emotion was being assimilated in your bodies.
As Namjoon began moving inside you with slow yet deliberate thrusts that had you seeing stars with each delicious stroke, your lips found each other once again. The kiss was a perfect blend of passion and desire that left you both gasping for breath.
Your nails dug into his shoulders as you clung to him for dear life, your body rocked by the force of his movements. Each thrust brought you closer to the edge, the intensity building with every passing second.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” Namjoon groaned against your lips, his voice laced with a rawness that sent shivers down your spine. It was all you could do to hold on as you quivered; there wasn’t even a point in counting how many times he’s made you cum tonight.
You moved together in perfect sync, lost in a world where only your bodies and the overwhelming need for one another existed in this room. Time ceased to have any meaning as you chased your releases.
When it finally hit— that earth-shattering peak that left you gasping for air— it was as if everything fell into place. At that moment, there were no doubts or uncertainties; it was just you and Namjoon and the undeniable infatuation you shared.
As the world slowly came back into focus and your breathing returned to normal, you rested your forehead against Namjoon’s, staring deep into his eyes. You didn’t need words to convey what you were both thinking; this had just been the most incredible sex any of you have had since you started seeing each other.
The morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow in the room. Namjoon stirred beside you, his sleepy gaze meeting yours. You exchanged a knowing look, but the weight of unspoken questions hung in the air.
As you both got dressed and prepared to leave, the atmosphere between you grew slightly tense. The intimacy you had shared was undeniable, but the implications were yet to be understood. You couldn’t ignore the lingering question of whether this was still a momentary escape for you or something that blossomed out last night.
As Namjoon drove you home, the usual comfortable conversation flowed between you, easing some of the tension that had built up within you. His presence was a source of familiarity and reassurance, and you couldn’t help but wonder what exactly the dynamic between the two of you was turning into.
You had always considered Namjoon a nice guy, someone you could rely on, someone who took on the role to care of you in every way. Lately, things have taken a more intimate turn, blurring the lines between friendship and something more. The physical encounter you had just shared added a layer of complexity to your relationship, leaving you with whole lot of questions.
As he pulled up in front of your house, you turned to face him, contemplating your next move. You appreciated him taking you home, but you wanted to retreat to the familiarity of your own space as soon as possible, where you could process the events of the past night.
As you stepped out of the car, you thanked Namjoon once again for everything. The unresolved tension hung in the air, unspoken words and uncharted territory lingering between you. It was clear that there was more to explore, but you also recognized the importance of introspection in this situation.
Walking away from the car, you couldn’t help but wonder what the future held for you and Namjoon. Would you continue to explore this newfound connection, or would you both retreat back to the safety of being just an acquaintance, brushing off the intensity of the previous night as a momentary lapse?
As you entered your home, uncertainty weighed on your mind, and the echoes of the night still resonated within you. One thing was sure, though—this unexpected encounter had left a strong mark, forcing you to confront your fears.
As you continued to navigate your emotions, you couldn’t help but wonder. Would you eventually find the clarity? Or were you destined to be caught in this eternal struggle between the familiar but tumultuous past and the electrifying but uncertain present?
I don’t even know what I’m getting myself into.
A week later, as the evening sun dipped below the horizon, casting hues of pink and orange across the sky, you found yourself lost in thought. It had been weeks since Jungkook had finally come back and texted you, so fate had a way of bringing you back together when you least expected it.
It started innocently enough. You were on your way to meet a few friends for dinner when you spotted him across the street. The sight of Jungkook after all this time sent a jolt of electricity through your veins, stirring emotions you had tried so hard to bury.
Caught off guard, you hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. Should you approach him and acknowledge his presence, or should you pretend not to see him and continue on your way?
Before you could decide, Jungkook turned and locked eyes with you. Time seemed to stand still as you stared at each other, the air thick with unspoken words and unresolved tension.
Taking a deep breath, you summoned some courage you didn’t know you still had. “Jungkook,” you called out softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
Facing you, a mixture of surprise and uncertainty flickering in his eyes. “Y/N,” he replied, his voice equally soft.
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of the past hanging heavy between you.
“I didn’t expect to see you so soon,” Jungkook finally broke the silence, his tone tinged with a hint of sadness.
“I could say the same,” you replied, countless emotions swirling inside you.
There was a pause as you both searched for the right words, the distance between you feeling both vast and infinitesimal.
“How have you been?” Jungkook asked, his voice filled with genuine curiosity.
You shrugged, unsure of how to answer. “I’ve been... okay,” you replied hesitantly. “And you?”
Jungkook nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I’ve been keeping busy,” he said cryptically.
More silence followed as you both struggled to find common ground, the awkwardness of the situation palpable.
“I should get going,” you finally said, breaking the tension. “It was... nice seeing you, Jungkook.”
He nodded, unable to meet your gaze. “Yeah, you too,” he replied softly.
Just as you turned to leave, Jungkook found himself unable to resist the urge to speak up. “Wait,” he called out, voice barely above a whisper.
You turned back to face him, curiosity flickering in your eyes. “yes?” you asked, your tone gentle.
He hesitated for a moment, the words catching in his throat. “Can we get together and talk sometime?” Jungkook finally asked, his voice trembling slightly.
Your expression softened. “About what?” you replied, your voice barely audible over the city’s din.
It was quiet for a minute. “Forget it,” Jungkook said quickly, his smile faltering. “It’s nothing.”
But you couldn’t let it go. “No, Jungkook,” you insisted, stepping closer to him. “What do you need to talk about?”
For a moment, Jungkook seemed taken aback by your question, his eyes widening in surprise. And then, with a slight smile, he stepped closer to you.
He cleared his throat, leaning in slightly as if sharing a secret. “I mean,” he started, his voice barely above a whisper as though he was afraid of the words themselves. He paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing. “It’s not like I need to, but...”
You listened intently, the gravity of Jungkook’s words sinking in. It was as if he was voicing the thoughts swirling in your mind, the unspoken desires and lingering emotions that you had both been grappling with for so long.
“We’ve always made it complicated, I know,” Jungkook continued, his eyes searching yours for understanding. “But I can’t help but wonder if maybe—just maybe—there’s a chance for us to figure out what we had.”
For a moment, you were both suspended in time; your shared moments and potential futures flashed through your eyes. Jungkook’s question had stirred something within you, a complicated mix of nostalgia, longing, and confusion. The echoes of your past relationship with him were interwoven with the exciting and passionate dynamic you had recently discovered with Namjoon. You knew you had to make a decision, not only for yourself but also for them.
As you looked into Jungkook’s hopeful eyes, you felt deep regret, not for the moments you had shared, but for the ones that never were and would never be. You realized you had been clinging to the hope that may never come. You knew in your heart that it was time to let go and move forward.
With a deep breath, you broke the silence. ‘Jungkook,’ you began, your voice steady, ‘I think it’s best if we don’t…’ Your words trailed off, but you hoped your message was clear.
Lost in your thoughts, you continued to meet your friends, the weight of shutting out someone who hurt you in the past, heavy on your shoulders. As you sat down to dinner, the events of the evening played over and over in your mind, leaving you drained of emotion.
Later that evening, after that particularly confusing and unplanned encounter with Jungkook, you found yourself sitting on the balcony of your apartment, staring out at the city lights. The soothing sound of one of your jazz playlists playing in the background served as a backdrop to your contemplation.
Just then, your phone buzzed, and it was Namjoon. He had sent you a text that read, “I don’t want to be the cause of your pain, but I can’t help how I feel. It’s complicated, I know. Just know that I’m here for you, no matter what you want to do.”
His message struck a chord deep within you. You realized that Namjoon carved himself a special place in your heart, and it was time to tell him your choice.
With Namjoon, you felt a different kind of connection. His understanding and acceptance of your complicated situation were comforting. The passion between you was undeniable, but more than that, you felt seen, valued, and respected in a way that you hadn’t with Jungkook.
As dawn breaks, you find yourself comfortably sheltered on your balcony with a steaming cup of coffee in your hands. The richness of its aroma fills your senses, providing a comforting solitude as you are lost in a sea of thoughts that you have been pondering since the early hours. Your surroundings are quiet, the world below still hushed in the early morning slumber.
Suddenly, this serene silence is broken by a familiar voice echoing from below. The unexpected shout of your name startles you, causing you to rise abruptly from your chair, your heart skipping a beat with the suddenness of it. Curiosity instantly piques within you, a compelling urge to discover the source of this voice calling you.
When you leaned over the balcony railing to peer down, much to your surprise and a slight sense of disbelief, you saw Namjoon. There he was, standing on the lonely street beneath your balcony, his posture exuding an aura of determination. The sight of him there, seemingly out of the blue, took you aback. You hadn’t expected to see him, not at this hour, not here.
“Namjoon, what are you doing here?” you managed to ask him, your voice barely a whisper against the morning chill. Your heart was racing, pounding in your chest at the unexpected sight of him. “Come on up!” You invited him in with a giggle, your mind spinning, thinking, oh my god, he’s here. A surge of laughter bubbled within you as you retreated from the balcony, giving him the time to go up to the first floor.
Without uttering a single word in response, Namjoon quickly made his way up the stairs leading to your apartment. As soon as he stepped through the door, his presence filled the room, bringing a sense of warmth and familiarity you hadn’t realized was missing until now.
The silence that had ensued was once again broken by Namjoon’s voice. His voice was softer and gentler this time, but his determination was no less. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Y/N,” he confessed, his eyes directly meeting yours in a gaze that held you captive. “I needed to see you, talk to you.”
“You drive me crazy in the best possible way,” Namjoon started. “Every stolen glance, every lingering touch, it’s like electricity coursing through my veins, igniting a fire that I can’t control.”
“From the moment I met you, I’ve been consumed by the thought of you, your touch, your scent, your laughter.” Namjoon continued. “I couldn’t resist your pull on me, drawing me in like a moth.”
“You make me feel alive, Y/N,” Namjoon confessed, his eyes burning with desire. “And I never want to let that go. I want to explore every inch of you, body and soul, to lose myself in the passion we share.”
“I want you to go out for drinks with your friends,” Namjoon expressed, his voice still soft. “So when you feel hungover the next day, you’ll ask me to come see you because you want to have me in your arms and cuddle you.”
“I want us to talk in the mornings, still in bed, about all types of things,” Namjoon continued, a fond smile playing on his lips. “But sometimes in the afternoons, too, I want us to be able to do whatever we want during the day.”
“I want you to tell me about the nights you go out with your friends,” Namjoon confessed, his eyes filled with warmth. “And tell me about the guy at the bar who was trying to flirt with you all night. I want you to text me when you’re drunk with your friends just to tell me dumb things because you want to be sure that I’m also thinking about you.”
“I want us to laugh while we’re making love,” Namjoon declared, full of yearning. “To start laughing because we’re trying something new, and it doesn’t make any sense. I want us to be with our friends so you can take my hand and drag me to the other room because you can’t hold back anymore, and you want us to make love right there. I want to make you try to stay quiet because there are people outside, and they might hear us.”
“I want to eat with you all the time,” Namjoon continued. “And I want you to make me talk about myself and for you to talk about everything that’s on your mind. I want us to discuss which is best, the north coast or the south coast, the west or the east. I want to imagine our dream home, still aware that we might never live together.”
“I want to tell you about my plans, the ones that make no sense whatsoever,” Namjoon confessed, his voice filled with excitement. “I want to surprise you by saying, ‘Take your passport, we’re leaving.’ I want to be afraid with you. Do things I wouldn’t do with anyone else because you make me feel safe. Come back home drunk after a night out with my friends, and for you to take my face in your hands, kiss me, and keep me close to you the whole night.”
“I want you to have your life,” Namjoon continued, his tone sincere. “So you can decide to take a few weeks off to go on a trip just because you want to. So you leave me wishing to see you through FaceTime, but all it makes me do is miss you more.”
“I don’t want us to be joined at the hip all the time,” Namjoon admitted, a smile playing on his lips. “That way, we can hang out the next day. You can tell me about your night, and I can tell you about mine.”
“I want something simple yet complicated,” Namjoon declared, his eyes locking with you. “Something that often makes me question myself, but the moment I’m in the same room with you, all my doubts disappear. I want to tell everyone you’re gorgeous, and I want to be proud to say we’re together. I want to tell you that I love you, and most importantly, I want you to be able to say that you love me, too.”
“I want to make plans with you,” Namjoon continued, his voice filled with hope. “Unaware if we’ll make them come true. I want you to have a relationship where you know where you stand. I want to be someone who you love to be with. I want us to still have the desire to fool around at times because we’re still young.”
“I want to be the one you make love to and then fall asleep with,” Namjoon confessed, his voice barely above a whisper, his hand now caressing your cheek. “The one who gives you your space and loves when you get lost in your playlists. I want to have a single life with you because our relationship would be just like that, but together.”
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pandorasword · 4 months
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Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.
CHAERI'S MASTERLIST
YOU CAME
❒ words: 619
❒ summary: The night before Jungkook's enlistment
❒ pairing: Jungkook x 8thmember!OC
❒ notes: find notes at the bottom
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December 11, 2023
A Fool
A fool to think she could be indifferent, a fool to think she could bear the separation, to say goodbye to him only in front of the cameras, to wish him to stay healthy and to take care of himself in front of everyone, Chaeri felt like an idiot. A fool to believe she could have stayed home the night before his departure.
Chaeri's AirPods were out of battery, and the volume on her cell phone was set to maximum, yet she didn't mind. She didn’t care that Jungkook's faint voice was echoing in the dim alley she was hurrying through, just having stepped out of the dark car that had hastily brought her to that point.
The pajama sweatpants she wore, not having had time to change into jeans, were lightweight. However, she remained unaffected by the biting winter wind, the weather gearing up for the first snow of that Christmas season. It would be the first snow she'd experience without her group, or rather, without her family, in 10 years.
The hoodie she had on was oversized, so much so that she had to repeatedly pull up the sleeves that kept sliding down her arms, extending to cover her hands, which made it challenging for her to hold the phone.
She knew the rest of the way by heart, so she allowed herself to stare at Jungkook's tired, sad face through the cell phone screen. 
He was giggling over a comment about the dryer being active just hours before he started his military career, but the laughter didn't genuinely reflect in his eyes
The boy she had grown up with, the one who slept in the bed next to hers when all eight of them shared a single room, her best friend, her first kiss, her first love—the boy who had strained his voice singing to her until her nightmares faded away.
Her family.
He was going to leave in a few hours, and she would see him again, God knew when.
She was stupid to think that she could stay at her place without feeling the need to look him in the eye to bid him farewell, without the pressure of pretending and calculating words, smiles, looks. 
"I'll miss you," Jungkook said, his voice soft, warm, almost hoarse. Chaeri knew him better than anyone else, knew for a fact that he would cry as soon as the live broadcast ended. And she had to be there. She owed it to him.
Despite all.
The janitor of the building where he lived recognized her right away; there was no need to show him documents or go through the necessary checks to ensure safety for the residents. She was grateful, as she was in such a hurry that she probably would not have stopped if he had tried.
She quickly made the decision to run up the stairs, two by two, as the elevator would be too slow, and she needed to reach there immediately. She felt the physical urgency.
The phone display went black; Jungkook had concluded the live, and she was right outside his door.
Gasping, her cheeks red from running.
The UGG TAZZs on her feet had only made it more challenging, threatening to trip her up more than once, but she was there. Finally.
Her long black hair stuck out messily from the ponytail she had tied back at home; she was stripped of her makeup, utterly unkempt, and hardly presentable. Yet, when the door slowly opened, and Jungkook's face appeared, his eyes wet with the tears she had anticipated, she felt perfectly in order. 
Perfectly as she was supposed to be. 
Perfectly where she was supposed to be.
“You came”
taglist: @alixnsuperstxr | @bts-dream | @enchantingbrowneyedgirl | @ycuvi | @cosmicwintr
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❒ notes: Hiii. I wrote this out of the blue, it's 4:15 in the morning here, but I couldn't go to sleep without posting it How are you?
I think I'll feel Jungkook's enlistment even more. His live sessions gave me comfort and helped me sleep during difficult times.
As for the story, just to clarify, this is not the end hehe
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jhugas · 11 months
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‘THAT ONE NIGHT’- Kim Taehyung
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Masterlist
✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
Genre: smut
Pairing: idol!Taehyung X 8thmember!afab!Reader
Summary: You and Taehyung got invited to the Celine after party on a public beach at night. As fans are watching and filming you two, you can’t stop each other from flirting, not knowing that things will get pretty… interesting.
Word count: ~1,3k
Warnings/tags: full public-filmed make out and grinding, toilet sex, clothed sex, filmed sex + penetration, nipple-breast play, heavy flirting, one night type shit, cum eating (reader eats), unprotected sex (stay safe), they cum together🤞🏻, cums in her.
Song rec:
She- Harry Styles
Ice cream man- Tyga
Break from Toronto- PARTYNEXTDOOR
✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
You and Taehyung were invited to the Celine show, and right now, you were at the after party. The after party was on a beach, at night, with other gorgeous models. You were the prettiest though, all the models had their eyes on you and they were all surprised of how nice, sociable and humble you were. Some even asked to take pictures with you, which you accepted, of course.
During that night, you noticed a weird feeling, something new. Something had changed between you and Taehyung. Why were you both acting like this? You were so flirty with each other. While dancing together, he brought you closer to him, caressed your body from your head to your ass. Sometimes you would even get your lips an inch away from each other then just laugh and get back. You never acted like that usually? But somehow, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of each other.
And the worst is, everybody could see you. Including fans, models and reporters. The beach was private, but the street wasn’t. Up the stairs to go to the beach, fans were filming and watching you. So if anything happened in between you and Taehyung, they’ll immediately see it and post it everywhere. However, this was the least of your concerns, Taehyung was much more interesting.
It’s like this wasn’t you and him from Bts, but just two friends flirting and hanging out with each other.
After drinking some more alcohol with him, he takes your hand and brings you close to him once again. His hips are stuck on yours, slowly moving right and left to the music, his hands still exploring your curves and getting them under your skirt or t-shirt occasionally. He’s not shy, he isn’t worried about the fans and cameras neither. On the contrary, being in public couldn’t turn him more on. His dick rubbing against his luxury pants, and the bulge of his pants rubbing against your stomach.
He grinds himself discreetly against you, his dick getting harder and begging to get his pants off. He stares at your revealing cleavage, your breast sitting perfectly, as you bite your lower lip and look straight onto his eyes. Suddenly, he cups your face with one hand, keeping his other one on your hips under your skirt, and pushes you against the wall behind the bar. The fans are quiet, silently screaming to not disturb you, observing the scene and filming you two.
He gets closer to you and pushes eagerly his lips on yours, catching your top lip in between his and sucking on it. He tilts his head trying to get a better taste of your previous drink and to get deeper. His grip on you is firm, he doesn’t stop pushing you up against the wall and the fans are zooming in on the work of your lips. Then, he moves his hand from your hips to beside your head, pinning you, and brings the other one to your waist. He puts one of his leg in between yours and brings it closer to your crotch, before rubbing it against your clit under your skirt. You gently, discreetly move forth and back on his leg, trying to not be too explicit for the cameras and fans. He was so hungry for you. He wanted to have you for the whole night, just for himself.
‘Just one night, it won’t hurt to have fun. Will it?’ You think. It’s not like it will ruin your whole reputation and career. You’re a human, you’re allowed to have fun too. The kiss gets more and more heated, grinding on his leg isn’t enough and it’s getting hard to breathe. So you break the kiss but he lifts you up, bringing you to the public but clean toilets. He closes the door behind and smashes his lips against yours, sliding his tongue under your lip and licking your bottom ones. He shuts the toilet and sits down on it. First, you stand in between his legs as he looks up at you. How can he look so dominant in this position? He stares at your hard nipple through your white, transparent t-shirt, then grabs your boob and wraps his lips around it. Sucking hard on your nipple through the tissue as he stains it with his spit. With his other hand, he cups your free boob and massages it. You moan at the warm feeling. You push him off and get your clothes off. But right as you were about to take your t-shirt off, he stops you.
‘Keep your clothes on y/n, just take off your pants.’
He says in a deep voice. And when he said your name, it reminded you of what you’re doing right now, and with whom. You start taking off your pants. How were you going to explain this to Army? Bts? Your agency? But the sound of a belt cuts your thoughts. He’s also taking off his pants. But he, unlike you, takes off his boxers and let his tall and thick cock stand proudly by itself. He pushes your pants with his on the side and pats his lap, indicating you he wants you to sit on it. You get over him, face to face and your legs outside of his, and he pulls your panties to the side just so that he can enter you. He touches your pussy a few seconds to see if you’re wet enough and smirks. He looks proud of himself, he knew how he made you feel, and he liked it. You slowly lower your hips, approaching your cunt to his dick and places it in front of your entrance. Then once it’s lined up perfectly, he grabs your hips and pushes them against his. You start jumping on it, moaning as his big curved cock hits all the rights spots. He curses under his breath, and you moan. He watches your tits jump with you, up and down and going round. He also looks at your face, your expressions. He needs to know that he’s making you feel good, he needs this validation.
Watching your tits and face is great, but he’s upset he can’t see your ass that’s probably a whole show that he can’t miss. So he gets his phone and puts it in selfie mode, filming your ass slapping against his hips on camera. In the video, you can see him biting his lips and smirking and you can hear all of your moans. You keep going and he keeps filming until your legs are starting to get tired and you’re slowly reaching your highest. So he puts his phone behind you against the door, on a little shelf there was and starts helping you by lifting you up with his hands, and thrusting aggressively in and out of you.
You feel a warm feeling coming and you feel yourself about to reach your orgasm. He also feels it coming and goes faster, and deeper. You finally reach your orgasm together as you both release in the spot, moans could be heard miles away. You catch up your breath and look at him. He gets his phone, zooms on his dick inside your pussy and tells you to get up and release his cum on his stomach. You do as he pleases and get up keeping his semen in you, then releasing it on his lower stomach. He laughs a little. You lean forward and clean his tummy, eating up all of his delicious cum on his abs.
‘Cute’
He says looking up lazily at you. You clean yourselves before putting back on your clothes, kissing a bit and getting out of the toilet like nothing happened. He finishes his video with you wobbling out of the toilet like a penguin and him gently laughing. After he’s done he hugs you from beside and trust me, twitter and Armys will never, forget about “that one night”.
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Masterlist
If you liked it, please like or reblog <3
In the same type: "I want you…"
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oshisanbignaturals · 3 months
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The princess of splishing and splashing
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ofswanlake · 4 months
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[BREAKING] BTS’ JUNGKOOK AND BLACKPINK’S NARI CONFIRMED TO BE DATING
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ҉ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ୭̥⋆*。 published january 1st, 2024╱ written by parklily
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It’s official, BTS’ Jungkook and BLACKPINK’s Nari are in a relationship!
Yesterday, Dispatch reported that the two idols are currently in a relationship and included photos taken of the pair as they said goodbye outside Nari’s home.
On January 1, following the reports, BTS’ agency Big Hit Music released the following statement.
“Hello. This is Big Hit Music.
This is an official statement regarding the article of BTS’ Jungkook.
Jungkook and BLACKPINK’s Nari have been friends since 2018 and in 2020, they transitioned into a couple. They are maintaining a serious relationship throughout Jungkook’s enlistment.
Please show lots of support. We ask for warm reception of fans.
Thank you.”
Ahead of Big Hit Music’s statement, YG Entertainment had also been contacted for comment as BLACKPINK’s agency and they stated, “We did not know of the dating rumors involving Nari. We are currently looking into the matter.” The agency later stated to another outlet, “Big Hit will be releasing a statement.”
Congratulations to the happy couple!
Source (1)
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… VIEW COMMENTS
[ +3218, -2389 ] I thought we were joking …
[ +3012, -2992 ] They’d have pretty babies.
[ +2827, -2193 ] Why cant these bitches just leave BTS alone ㅋㅋㅋ
[ +2345, -1939 ] This is even better than Nari and Cha Eunwoo. Visual couple!!
[ +2032, -1788 ] Oppa … You could do so much better.
[ +1828, -1348 ] At least it’s not some random. They both understand each other.
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THIS IS FICTIONAL.
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soraontop · 4 months
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JUNGWON
SHIP NAME sowon
She stresses him out on the daily. She’s always sneaking around, and gets away with the most out of the entire group but he knows. He doesn’t know the specifics of things, but he knows.
He thought it was so funny when he first teased her and she didn’t know what to do. Now, it’s half and half; she’ll get flustered before gathering her bearings and going back even harder at him.
He will roast someone with her. He’s always the first to laugh at her roasts.
She’s always used to taking care of other people so when she first tried it with him, he literally refuses and somehow turns it back on her ?? She doesn't like it at all. (Or so she says)
She gets bad cute aggression with him, sometimes she just wants to squeeze his cheeks and bite him. She’s only done it once and he made fun of her so bad she vowed to never show him skinship, but, well … She can’t help it.
She always catches him staring at her, but he never turns his head away so they just continue staring at one another and doing the absolute most until one gets flustered and looks away.
HEESEUNG
SHIP NAME heesora
Number one person who never lets her do anything by herself. Always the first to ask where she’s going when she gets up. He’s the first to notice whenever she’s gone. I think he gets separation anxiety from her. Vice versa with her, even though she pretends it doesn’t bother her.
Pays the most attention to her; she never has to ask for it. She likes to make everyone think she’s good, but he was the first to notice. So he always makes sure she’s good before she can even check on anyone else.
She pretends like she hates it when he babies her or is always so attached to her, but they all know the truth.
His biggest hypewoman. Anything he does, she loves and isn’t afraid to show it. She’s literally the mom in Mean Girls with the camera. He’s always asking her for praise, and she’ll 100% give it. On the off-chance she doesn’t and wants to tease him, he acts like he’s crying or that he’s dead from the ‘pain’.
She hates disappointing him, knowing how important she is to him, so it always hurts the most because she knows she did something bad enough for him to be disappointed.
More often than not, some part of his body is touching her. If not, she knows something’s wrong.
JAY
SHIP NAME jayra
All sorts of logic goes flying out his head when he’s around her. She wants what? Oh, Jay will get it for her. *whip sound* She gets away with the most whenever she’s with Jay. He just can’t say no to her. Who would?
He’s the most logical person she knows, so she always goes to him before making big decisions.
He wants to be the best person he can be for her: the one she can always go to. Someone she will never doubt.
He always knows how to cheer her up. 99% of the time, she’s better within a minute.
Cooking buddies !!! She loves to cook and bake, so they’ll both be in charge of it. He always goes to her first for taste tests and vice versa.
They’re so in sync sometimes it’s scary. They’ll do the exact same thing at the exact same time without realizing it. She has copied most of his mannerisms/habits subconsciously. (With all of them, really, but mostly him)
JAKE
SHIP NAME jakesora / scorpioz
When these two are together … get out the way. He’s always willing to teach her new things, especially since she didn’t get the normal childhood that most people do. He’s also the one who convinces her the most to do the craziest, wildest shit ever.
He taught her to flirt, 100%. ‘Backfired’ on him though because even when she gets flustered, she always somehow says something worse than what he says to her. Double the trouble.
She always goes to him whenever she needs help with her studies, and he loves feeling wanted/needed by her.
She goes to him whenever she needs someone to just listen and understand. And he always does.
The type of besties who can’t stay quiet and are always laughing at the wrong times, especially when they need to be quiet. One look and they’re gone.
They’re always bickering it’s kind of ridiculous. She loves irritating him so she’ll purposely say the wrong thing and he’ll correct her and she’s like, “no, you’re wrong” and they go back and forth like “no” “yes” until another member yells at them to shut up.
SUNGHOON
SHIP NAME sorahoon
She genuinely thought he disliked her when they met, and was kind of turned off by it and so she always avoided him until he confronted her out of jealousy of her paying attention to the others more than him. 💀
She’s the one that talks a lot, about the most random shit she can think of, and he’s just there, listening. Doesn’t bother to speak up, but she knows he’s listening.
He teases the crap out of her, always bringing up moments she wishes to never think of again.
Both act like they’re not bothered whenever the other isn’t paying attention to them, but they get so pouty it’s funny that the members always take their attention away just to see their reaction.
He loves to make her work for whatever she wants, even when he knows he’s going to do whatever she wants anyway. He just likes watching her beg.
She would always catch him silently watching her, especially in I-LAND. He’d immediately look away, pretending like he wasn’t. She’d continue to watch him, and a second later, he’d glance back only to make eye contact. She thought his head would detach from how quickly he turned his head away.
SUNOO
SHIP NAME sunora / 03z / fatez
They literally think they’re soulmates. There is a picture of her in elementary school on a field trip to the zoo, and Sunoo is in the back of the picture, facing the camera and photo bombing her with a peace sign. It’s literally fate.
Constantly flaunts that he’s her first pick in games and well … anything. Such a smug shit.
Probably the only one who lets her take care of him without complaining.
She’s always fawning over him— she’s not shy to express her admiration over him and neither is he. He is the one she does the most skinship with, even when she “doesn’t like it.”
He’s the one who always gets her into doing TikToks with him, even if she says she doesn’t like being on social media personally. (A lie)
He is the one who brings out the best in her. She seriously doesn’t know what she’d do without him and doesn’t want to know.
She doesn’t like taking selcas, and will normally only post on social media when she’s told to — and if not, she will only willingly do it if Sunoo’s in the picture/taking it/suggested it.
NI-KI
SHIP NAME rikora
He doesn’t really see her as an older sister figure/role model. He knows she’s always been treated like that and never wants to put that kind of pressure on her again. He’s always reminding her that she’s not even a year older than him, and that it’s okay to be young and childish, too.
When she can’t reach anything, she tries to find anyone but him because he’s the most annoying about it.
He’s always calling her out on her bullshit whenever she tells little white lies on camera or even to the members. He never lets her get away with anything, she swears he’s a menace.
She’s also his biggest hypewoman. She’s seriously in awe that he’s so good at what he does and he’s only eighteen.
They like to spend holidays together when the others are at home, since both of their families aren’t in South Korea and neither can go to them unless it’s a special occasion and they happen to not have any schedules whatsoever.
He’s the only member that really calls her noona, Jungwon doesn’t because she prefers him not to since they’re only really a few months apart. Whenever he wants something, he’ll always go in a sweet voice, “Noona~”
poly ot7 enhypen fic with female 8th member, don’t like don’t read !!!
157 notes · View notes
bangtanfanfiction · 3 months
Text
hopelessly falling  → k. sunwoo (tbz)
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Based on this ask.
♢ Pairing: Sunwoo x Idol!female Reader → Idol AU
♢ Word count: 6.8k
♢ Trope: 8th f!member of BTS, strangers-to-lovers, Older!woman x Younger!man
♢ Genre: Fluff, suggestive, angst if you squint ig
⌲ Description: Being the 8th female member of BTS has brought you more trials than you could count. Now being the only one left behind after their enlistments was another obstacle you struggled adjusting to, until you found yourself hopelessly falling for someone completely unexpected. ↳ Warnings: Makeout session, swearing. Sunwoo being a flirty menace but we're loving it.
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HOBI: Good luck, Y/N! You’ll crush it like always! JIMIN: You’ll do great! JIN: We’ll be monitoring you :)) YOONGS: Don’t be nervous, you’ll be amazing, kiddo. JOONIE: Y/N fighting! JK: Fighting! TAE: Go, go, go Y/N!
Despite the relentless thumping of your heart, or the cold sweat building up on the surface of your skin - there was no hiding the loving smile pulling at your lips as you scrolled through the messages in the group chat bombarding the notifications without you having to even ask.
Your members knew you well enough at this point after more than ten years together that when you went radio silent on all platforms, it meant you were drowning in your nerves. 
Frankly, how couldn‘t you? You were the last of BTS to release your solo album, and only after all of them had enlisted into the military with you sending them off accompanied by a snotty nose each time. If you could, you probably would have enlisted as well despite being a woman just to not be alone until Seokjin or Hobi were to return. 
Ah…This was hard. You thought, dropping the phone back on the table and looking yourself in the mirror. 
Taking in your elaborate makeup and clothes, hair styled to perfection not a single speck of mascara or blush out of place. You were surrounded by people; your management team and stylists. People who had been with you for more than five years, but the loneliness had never felt more heavy than today.
You thought you had prepared yourself for it. Mentally that is. Your boys had also been exceptionally worried for your mental well-being for when it was time and made sure to give you all sorts of ways to communicate with them. 
The irony was that you actually enjoyed your own space. Being alone at home for days and doing nothing besides your usual workout routine was ideal, truly. 
Until you understood the saying ´You don't know what you have until it's gone.´ 
Clearly not as overly dramatic or depressing as the original meaning. But still, you felt their absence all the same. 
The only comfort you could find from this was Yoongi with his alternative enlistment and still being around for you to find comfort in after his working hours. 
But you hadn’t sought out his presence for a couple of weeks now, being too busy with your prep and wanting to let him get used to his new routine before barging in with your cries of loneliness. 
“Maybe I should get a boyfriend…” You muttered to yourself, catching the delighted attention of your main stylist unnie, Aera, whose eyes widened at those words.
“You want a boyfriend?” She straightened up as if finding a 50 percent off sale on designer goods, making you regret having spoken at all. “Ooo, do you want me to introduce you to someone? I can set up a blind date! You like them like ten years older, don’t you? All alpha male and stuff? I know a couple of men like that.”
Her ranting and frankly too-knowledgeable about your preferences made you heat up in slight exasperation. 
Okay, so what - you tended to gravitate towards buff, white men in their late thirties bordering on forties. Just because you might faint at the sight of Henry Cavill or Chris Evans hardly meant much for your real-life preferences. 
Ask Jimin. You dated him – a brief one year - and he was hardly a carbon copy of Captain America or The Witcher. 
“Unnie, I’ve already told you…”
Aera sighed before mimicking what you hardly believed sounded like yourself. “I know, I know. I’m not looking for anyone, it happens when it happens.”
It wasn’t the first time you’ve had this conversation with her. 
“Besides, why is everyone being so pushy about me finding someone?” You directed this question to the rest of the room, who laughed amongst themselves at the truth of it. 
“Because your last boyfriend was Jimin, and that is honestly sad, darling.” Your manager, Yoo-Mi, piped up from the corner while scrolling through her phone. Probably double checking your upcoming schedules and forward emails to the rest of the staff. She was always working despite you begging her to take it easy sometimes. 
Turning around in your chair, you frowned. “It’s only been three years.” Going into the fourth since your mutual breakup. 
“Exactly, sad.” She didn’t relent, making your shoulders slump, another titter of fond laughter spread through the room. “Listen, Jiminie is great, of course he is. So we don’t blame you for already reaching the top when it comes to standards in men. But when was the last time you had a crush?”
“A crush?” Even the word sounded foreign to you. 
“Henry Cavill does not count.”
“But that’s a crush!” You exclaimed. “I could pull him.”
“That’s not a crush, that’s a fantasy. You haven’t even met the man.”
“Rude…” You mumbled with a pout, though admitting defeat. 
Damn, so everyone thought your dating life was dry and depressing. Great. 
You knew they all meant well, acting like an overbearing family. And in the end, they just wanted you to be happy. 
“Y/N it’s time to head out.”
Standing up you took one last overview in the mirror before typing out a reply to the group chat.
Y/N: I'm off now! Love you!
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You had completely forgotten how music shows worked. It had been three years since the group promoted for ‘ON’ in the midst of covid with countless of measurements. You hadn’t stepped foot on a show since, besides supporting your members for their recent promotions. 
It had also been more than a year since you’ve done any performances within Korea, having only just returned from your American solo promotions - so for you, everything felt more awkward than familiar despite your years of experience in the industry. 
You heard the cheers of the crowd just as you walked into the studio where the live recording was going on for another boygroup, the hard-hitting smooth beats making your head nod as you stopped in front of a screen to overlook the stage. 
Staff moved around you, securing a mic-pack before your sparkling microphone with a gradient purple to black found itself in your hand. The fans were screaming and chanting, and you found your attention caught without realizing it. 
You counted ten guys on the screen as they danced fiercely in commendable synchronization looking like one single unit as they moved. 
The Boyz was a familiar group to you, an old memory from an award show where they had asked BTS for a picture with shy grins and you had nearly cooed at their cuteness. Then again when Kingdom: Legendary War had aired you found yourself tuning in to watch every week. 
However, this was the first you’ve seen of the group since then - having been far too busy to keep up with all the groups on the regular, never mind every single song. 
You were enjoying the song currently playing, head nodding to the beat as you watched on. 
Not even you noticed how you had simply frozen at the next chorus, your attention wholly stolen for a mere couple of seconds. 
But it had been enough to change your entire world when the moment was recounted by your team in the future. 
“Hi, hello,
My name is what you want it to
숨겨 왔던
욕망들을 whisper.”
Huh. 
A sneeze suddenly forced itself out of you as you glared at the culprit, Aera smiling pointedly while holding a makeup brush that she had just tickled under your nostrils. 
“What was that for?” You grumbled, the room coming back into your attention. 
“My, my Y/N - is that a blush I see?” She teased as you scoffed, eyes flickering to the stage as the song came to an end. 
“You’re being ridiculous.” You dismissed her swiftly, ignoring the hum she gave and letting her touch up your already flawless makeup.
You were waiting patiently near the stairs, letting your management team take the last checks for your setup as people rushed around on stage to clean up and get it ready for your performance.  
The Boyz were making their way down and were impressively quick to notice you, though you blamed it on your bright white clothes in the darkness. You watched in patient amusement as some of their eyes widened, and even saw a member slapping the one in front of him with a muted gasp. 
You offered them a friendly grin as their flustered bodies caught up and everyone started bowing, their waists nearly snapping in half as you took half a step forward. 
“Please, take it easy.” You laughed lightly. “I loved your performance. The song is amazing.”
The obvious leader stepped forward, again bending at the waist but spoke with a sure and calm voice. “Thank you, Sunbaenim. It’s an honor.” 
The members were quick to follow with various choruses of thank yous, however, some had accepted your words and took it a bit easier with the bowing.  
“We love your album, sunbaenim. It’s been on repeat in the dorm since its release.” He continued to lead the conversation, the group of young men creating a half circle around you. 
“Oh thank you so much!” There was no hint of any pretense in your tone, you were always immensely grateful when people told you they loved your music. 
“You’re the leader, right? What’s your name?” 
“Yes, I am. I’m Sangyeon.”
“Ah right!” Your fingers snapped in excitement. “I remember you, of course. From the MMA’s…was it 2018?”
Some of their eyes widened in surprise to know that you remembered them. You relished in it honestly, always loving to prove people wrong about the public’s assumption of how worldwide fame and recognition had made BTS arrogant and seemingly unapproachable. 
“Y-yes, that’s correct, thank you for remembering us.” 
“I enjoyed watching you on Kingdom.” You admitted, noticing how they were starting to relax around you, smiling more easily and paying attention as if you were the president holding a speech. “You were one of my favorite groups throughout the whole second season.”
Again they started bowing and thanking you, luckily less aggressive than earlier. 
“Y/N-sshi, we are ready for you in five minutes. Please make your way to the stage, thank you.” A voice announced through the speakers as The Boyz started to bow again and ushered away as you offered brief goodbyes. 
But then you made the mistake of looking up, finding yourself locked in a trance of soft, plump lips, thick eyebrows, puppy dog eyes, and a slim angular face - your throat felt parched as your mouth parted, but no sound came out and you snapped it back shut embarrassed. 
Kim Sunwoo noticed the sudden strange behavior, as a single brow rose but he remained polite with a simple tug of his lips and a slight bow. 
His dark straight hair was parted in the middle, reminding you of the styles from 90’s boybands. You admired the way his slim t-shirt molded against his lean body with the leather pants and a thick silver chain around his neck. A chain he had pulled seductively while gliding across the floor and stared into the camera.
An image still swimming in your mind. 
An appraisal that you were quick to scold yourself over as you felt yourself blushing even hotter, eyes snapping away only hoping he didn’t notice your weird actions. 
Only to find yourself stumbling over your own feet in a moment of rare clumsiness. 
You managed to save yourself the embarrassment of falling to the ground, but only with Sunwoo’s quick thinking. Who had smoothly stepped close and held out a hovering arm just in case you were to fall, his other gently around your bicep to keep your balance. 
Fuck, you were making a whole fool out of yourself.
No one had noticed it, thank goodness. All too busy with their tasks to pay attention to the interaction.
“Are you okay?” Jesus, his voice was deep. “Sunbaenim?” He hastily added, seemingly remembering your status. 
“I-I’m okay.” You even stuttered now. Since when did you ever stutter. “Sorry, and thank you.”
“You should watch where you’re going.” He offered a half smile, those lips looking even more ridiculously plump and soft close as you stared up at him. “Careful not to get hurt.”
At this point, you were sure he noticed your flustered state as you cleared your throat and took a small step back out of his grip. 
“I should get going.” Was all you managed to say in your embarrassed state, swiftly stepping past him to walk up the stage but not before glancing back and noticing the amused pull of his features as he quietly chuckled to himself and followed his members out.
Aera made her sudden presence known as you flinched at her proximity, only to feel your stomach drop at the near-manic grin on her face. 
“Now that, is a crush, my dear.”
You wanted to curl up into a ball and scream your frustrations out from that whole interaction, but could only brace yourself with a smile as you were faced with the crowd who cheered as you came into view. 
Dozens of ARMY bombs waving helped settle the worry in your gut just for now. 
Nicely done, Y/N. Worldwide icon, indeed huh. 
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You were still thinking about it as you exited the stage studio. 
So caught up in your lingering embarrassment and out-of-character behavior that even surprised yourself. 
Over what?! A pretty face? A voice that made your skin tingle just by the rasp of it?
“Fucking get a grip, Y/N…” You muttered, fingers massaging your temples as you returned to your dressing room. 
Only to walk straight into your next phase of what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you. Quite literally too. 
Sunwoo let out a low ‘Whoa’ as you gasped and stumbled back to fully avoid running him down in your haste to hide yourself away until the nominations live broadcast. 
The toilet sign hung above his head as he maneuvered both of you to the side and away from the doors.  
“Oh my-” You were practically bumbling fool as your hands moved in silent explanation without many words to follow up, but he understood you well enough with a small, charming grin making his eyes crinkle and nose scrunch up just the slightest. 
“Hello, sunbaenim.” He gave a polite nod of his head. “It’s one of those days, huh?”
“Yeah…” You sighed in defeat, hardly trying to keep up that big and mighty senior artist image any longer. “I’m sorry it’s been taken out on you today.”
Sunwoo never lost his smile. “Don’t worry about it. It’s hardly the worst thing that happened to me at music shows.”
You nodded thankfully, very much aware that you were avoiding looking at him directly. Just for your own sanity, if you were being transparent. 
“You can stop that, by the way…” My god, were you shy, right now?
“Stop what?”
You cleared your throat. “Calling me sunbaenim all the time. I’m not very fond of the stiff formalities, so you can just relax around me.”
“Ah…” Even though you weren’t looking at him, you could feel his thinking. “Then… would noona be alright?” 
Your neck might as well have cracked with how quickly you snapped up to stare at him with widened eyes. Only to meet a knowing smirk gracing his dangerously, pretty face.
“N-noona?” You repeated almost stupidly.
“And here I thought my breath smelled or something. You wouldn’t even look at me.” The smirk widened.
Calming yourself in record time, you were composed enough to retort with a halfhearted glare. “You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”
“You are making it very easy.” Kim Sunwoo was a straightforward man, you realized. “I suppose I would be too if caught checking someone out.” Well fuck. 
Your first step was denial. “I wasn’t-”
“Don’t feel embarrassed about it. I know I’m good-looking, noona. Just didn’t realize it was to the point of losing gravity.”
If you weren’t quick on catching onto dry humor, you might have thought him deadly serious with how flat he spoke those words. But you were well versed with this sort. Yoongi being a perfect example of it. 
The exaggerated push you delivered against his shoulder came from a place of familiarity with your own members, and Sunwoo didn’t seem to mind the casualness of it as his facade broke and he laughed. 
Giggling along, you shook your head. “You’re good.”
“I know.”
However, your smile fell at his sudden wince and how swiftly he managed to play it off within a second. But you were a quick study and noticed how subtly he rolled his neck. 
“Are you hurting somewhere?” You were blunt in your concern, this time surprising him. 
“Ah…” He was considering lying, you knew that. Having done it many times before yourself. But Sunwoo brushed the moment off.  “It’s just a bit of muscle stiffness in my neck and shoulders, nothing too serious. Don’t worry about it.”
You scrutinized him for a couple of seconds before accepting it. “If you say so. But I wouldn’t be dancing as hard as you did today with that kind of pain. Be a little mindful at least and ease back.”
Sunwoo was appreciative of your advice, accepting it with a gracious nod and another, quite frankly, heart-palpating smile directed at you. You could probably just stand here and admire him for several minutes in silence if it was offered to you, but you had an image to maintain after all.
An image that fell through the moment Kim Sunwoo was involved. 
“Getting lost in my beauty again, are you?” His teasing was never-ending, but instead of annoying you it only managed to pull your smile even wider. 
“You are ridiculous.” Was all you managed to say with a chuckle. 
He bit into his lower lip thoughtfully before deciding against whatever mental war he was having. “Ridiculous enough to ask for your number?”
There it was again. Your dry throat, and the way your heart probably skipped a beat. 
“You…want my number?”
“I mean, who doesn’t want a BTS member’s number.” Sunwoo shrugged, that stupid fitted t-shirt and chain catching your attention again. 
So you quirked a brow at him, knowing something else was coming. “And that’s your goal? A BTS member’s number?”
“That would be cool.” He was being awfully truthful until his eyes locked onto your own. “But I would love having the number of a beautiful woman more. Perhaps with a date on the side?”
Your surprise at his bold confession was hardly hidden, mouth parting as you blinked up at him expecting a joke to follow. 
This wasn’t exactly the first time you’ve been asked out by someone, but it has always been a bigger or older senior until BTS blew up to the point other idols found it too intimidating to approach anymore. It was a love-hate relationship for you in those circumstances. 
Yet Kim Sunwoo managed to cross those unwritten boundaries without fear of outside consequences, his gaze firmly locked on your own without notice of anything going on around you standing by the toilets in a public hallway. 
“Are you sure you would want to risk that?” Those words tasted bitter on your tongue when all you wanted to do was say yes. 
But you weren’t a fool. Anyone getting involved with BTS would always get a spotlight of any kind shone on them, wanted or not. And you made sure to warn them of it. 
Sunwoo was not shaken by it. Only quirking up a brow as if saying so what. 
Your heart thumped even harder. So you held out a hand and he wordlessly put his phone in it as the clicking of your manicured nails swiftly typed in your number. 
You watched as he typed in whatever name he chose to give you in his contacts and pocketed the device again.
“I’ll be waiting for that date.” You smiled with satisfaction to see the top of his ears turning red, brushing past him.
So you weren’t the only one affected at least.
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UNKNOWN: What’s your favorite drink? Y/N: Who is this? UNKNOWN: I’m hurt, noona.  Y/N:  Ah Hello to you too, Sunwoo You changed Unknown’s name to Sunwoo. SUNWOO: Backtracking to the question. Y/N:  I’m a coffee addict SUNWOO: Ofc, the drink of life. Let me guess, iced americano? Y/N: I’m more of a sweet latte girl SUNWOO: A woman after my own heart. Y/N:  Alright you little flirt Care to explain? SUNWOO: I’m planning for our date ofc Y/N: Oh? Did I miss the location? SUNWOO: It’s a surprise Y/N: Should I be worried? SUNWOO: Why do you keep doubting me :(  Y/N: Acting cute won’t help you SUNWOO: heart emoji Y/N: But fine, better not disappoint me, Kim Sunwoo I got high standards after all ;) SUNWOO: I guess the pressure is on
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“Hi.”
“...hey.”
Your soft giggle on the other side of the phone made Sunwoo smile without realizing it. 
“Why are you breathless?”
“Ah…” He kicked away a stray pair of pants on the floor before sitting down on his bed, making sure the door was closed. “I ran to my room when you called. We just got back from the schedules.”
“You could have just called me back.” There was rustling on your end, and looking at the time he assumed you were just getting into bed. 
“I didn’t wanna leave you hanging.”
“Hm, what a gentleman.”
“For you? Always.”
You giggled again. A sound Sunwoo was certain he was becoming obsessed with hearing. 
“I tried seeing you today.” 
“Yeah.” He lowered his voice just in case any of his members were to hear him. “Me too. It was quite hectic today, I’m sorry.” 
“Don’t be. I know how it gets.”
“What did you do today?”
“Besides the music show? Just some interviews and a radio recording. I’m keeping my promotions at the bare minimum this time around.”
Stretching out on the bed, he couldn’t help but tease you. “Of course, the power of BTS.”
“Oh shush you.”
A silence settled between you. But it was a comfortable one, strangely enough. No awkward shuffling of clothes to have something to do, or the tense waiting for the other to speak. 
“I like this.” His voice was grating with how low he was trying to keep it. 
“...Like what?”
“This. Just talking to you, noona.”
Sunwoo could hear the smile in your voice. “I like this too. Very much so.”
It was hard to say how many hours the two of you spoke every night since that fateful day, but there were certainly no complaints on either end.
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“This is fucking ridiculous.” Roughly peeling off the cropped denim jacket, you would feel guilty about how you threw it in the corner later. Aera would understand, hopefully. 
The stupid conflict between HYBE and MBC was no industry secret. But you managed to convince your company to give them another chance by letting you promote there this time after several years of avoiding the place. 
And did you regret it. 
“Do they think they can take me for a fucking idiot because I’m solo?” You seethed, whirling to stare at Yoo-Mi. She had a displeased expression as well, already tapping on her phone furiously as mutters of annoyance spread through the rest of your management team. 
You had been on a tense tirade the entire morning with the MBC production team and director about how you wanted your performance to be captured. They were obviously not used to how much creative freedom you were usually privy to and fought you the entire way, with passive-aggressive suggestions going against what you wanted. 
They only kept messing up, from your mic glitching on stage to the sound being off in your in-ear despite your several attempts to fix it during rehearsals. So the final product ended up being a complete mess in your own opinion, finding faults in every single frame in the live broadcast, your voice not being clear enough, and backtracking far too loud to convince viewers you were singing live despite having more than enough proof throughout the ten years. 
The haters would have a field day with that. 
“-a complete mess today, I’m telling you!” Your manager’s voice was going on in the background. 
“I can’t do this right now.” With a pointed look a Yoo-Mi, she nodded in understanding as you walked out of the dressing room towards wherever there were fewer people. 
You found a random hallway, fairly empty with an empty cushioned bench away from the main area of dressing rooms. Slumping down with your back resting against the cold wall, you closed your eyes with a tired groan. 
It was moments like these where you craved the support of your members. If this were Namjoon, he would not have relented in getting this perfect, Yoongi and Hobi right by his sides with their penetrating gazes to make sure. Jimin and Tae would be by you in their comfort, whereas Jin and JK would make extra sure that things weren’t spiraling out of control by being the compromisers in the middle. 
You weren’t a pushover, far from it. But you weren’t one for confrontations unless absolutely necessary. Today could have gone several ways with much better results if not for the underlying conflict between business companies. 
You don’t know if you dozed off or were simply in your own world. But the sudden cold, damp surface of something on your forehead made you flinch up as your eyes connected with the concerned ones of Sunwoo. 
He held an iced coffee in hand, the same one he was pressing against your skin as you allowed yourself to relax. 
“Are you okay?”
Standing up, you instead ignored the question and wrapped your smaller hand around his own still holding on to the cup. “Is this for me?”
He nodded, lips peeling back into a small smile as you accepted it. “A caramel macchiato latte, extra espresso shot.”
You had only mentioned your preferred drink once, but he had it memorized already.
“Thank you.”
Leaning with a shoulder against the wall, hand in a pocket - the concerned glint in his eyes never went away. Wearing a similar fit to the one when you first met him, Sunwoo was still as handsome as ever. Instead of a t-shirt, he wore a fitting turtleneck, a cropped blazer that made him seem even broader, and those damn leather pants with silver accessories adorned his hands, ears, and neck.  
His slightly bronzer skin compared to others seemed to glow. A feature of him you would never be sick of admiring. 
“Are you going to keep staring at me in silence?” Your lips quirked up before taking a sip from the drink, the taste of it getting your mood up. 
“Not if you say what’s bothering you.”
“What makes you think there is?”
Sunwoo snorts. “I walked passed you earlier and you didn’t even notice.”
Glancing at the coffee in your hand. “And you went to get me coffee?”
“I thought you needed something to cheer you up.”
So you gave in. “Just creative differences with the director here. My manager is taking care of it.”
Sunwoo hummed in understanding. “But are you okay?”
His brows were furrowed, those lips you could never ignore pulled into the slightest pout. Swallowing your nerves you stepped even closer. Sunwoo straightened up at the proximity but not moving away. He waited for you. 
“Can I hug you?” Your whisper practically melted him as everything about him softened. 
“Of course.”
Without hesitation, you put the cup down on the bench before snaking your arms around his slim waist, face tucked into the hollow of his neck and shoulder, and breathed him in. 
The aroma of ground coffee beans and subtle vanilla, all wrapped up in notes of sweet fruits and blended spices of sandalwood and sage; a scent you would forever associate with him from this moment.
Sunwoo’s arms wrapped around you, hand gently stroking your back as you relished in the comfort he was providing. A feeling you had missed immensely. 
You were falling, and there was nothing to stop you from being completely consumed by the orbit that was Kim Sunwoo.
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Sunwoo was mesmerized. 
Quite frankly frozen to his spot in the dressing room, standing in the middle of the room, drink forgotten in hand as he stared at the screen where you were currently one of the last performers. 
Fair enough, he wasn’t exactly old, still young at the age of twenty-three, and being one of the youngest in his group he was often reminded of it. But he wasn’t ignorant. Especially not enough to ignore the fact he had fallen easily and quickly down the rabbit hole that was Y/N of BTS. 
Where everyone else saw the star quality encasing your every being, he managed to see past it. Your shyness that you often hid behind the pretense of a bold personality when faced with strangers. Sunwoo could see how you were struggling to be by yourself on stages where you used to be with seven others and had quite quickly used his presence as a comfort to chase your struggles away. 
And he had happily complied. It started with texting until he crossed that line by calling you one evening after a scheduled music show where neither had managed to talk, but craved to. 
After several of nights of calling each other, you surprised him one evening by turning on Facetime, sending his heart stuttering at the beautiful sight of you all barefaced in cozy pajamas under dim lighting as you settled yourself on a couch. 
Yet you still hadn’t found time to meet properly. The end-of-year season was always hectic with the amount of promotions and award shows that went on, especially for his group. Making that long-awaited date having to be put on pause. 
Sunwoo didn’t even expect you to attend after that fiasco of a recording earlier in the month until he woke up to a text this morning from you letting him know, with an unwritten hope to find some time to meet.
“Sunwoo’s in love.” A jest from one of his members snapped him out of the stupor as he simply rolled his eyes with a smirk, playing off the words even though they made him sweat. 
If only his members knew the truth. 
“She’s amazing.” Another compliment followed by several others as his members fell into a light discussion about you and your well-known ability to control a stage and make people pay attention by a single note of your voice. All that without the help of your members. 
Sunwoo felt like the clock was dragging by - his energy and hope diminishing with each minute while pretending he was okay around everyone. The award show was nearing its end, with you closing it before all performers would meet for the closing stage. 
He must have been one of the first members out the door when the call to gather was announced. His casual eagerness was enough to catch the curious attention of a few members, but he did the best he could to act his normal self. 
The stage was packed with the dozens of groups and performances that had joined for the event. Sunwoo made sure to stay close to his group, but he also couldn’t help the way his eyes kept searching for someone in particular. He had caught glimpses of you walking around the stage waving at fans, but also greeting artists who were eager to say hi. 
You were keeping close to your labelmates, TXT, laughing and smiling with them openly with an arm looped around Yeonjun’s like an older sister. Sunwoo would be lying if he didn’t feel jealous seeing you act so openly affectionate with them, but he reined in the green monster quickly. 
He barely managed to reign in his shock when squished amid the crowd as everyone tried to leave the stage and a familiar hand wrapped itself around his own with a quick squeeze before letting go again. Sunwoo saw your back as you walked away in front of him, still beside TXT. 
You never gave any indication it had happened besides the barest of glances over your shoulder. 
The next time Sunwoo managed to see you was by being dragged quite forcefully into a cleaning supply closet as the door closed behind him with a thump and lock turning.
He huffed out a laugh as you stood before him, a guilty grin painted on your lips. 
“Was that a bit too rough?”
“It was perfect.” Sunwoo continued to chuckle and finally took you in. 
The two of you were matching in black, his an assemble of leather and silver accents, whereas you were all sparkling sheer fabric with thigh-high stilettos and matching mini skirt. Jesus fuck. 
 His throat bobbed as his male mind caught up to what was happening: standing in a small-sized closet in dim lighting, with you only inches away from him dressed like actual sin. 
“Do you think they’ll notice?” You asked worried, gnawing on your lower lip. His gaze zeroed on the action. 
“My members definitely have, but they’ll think I probably ran off to the bathroom.”
“We won’t have long then.” The downturned vision of glossy lips made him lick his own, in anticipation or nerves, Sunwoo wasn’t sure. 
He could hear and feel everything now. The sound of your breaths, the rising of your chest, and the heat of your skin only a fingertip away from his touch. You must have caught on to the same desire because you finally looked at him - as in thoroughly looking, doing an appraisal of him from head to toe with a sly tilt to your head, eyes lingering on the cropped fabric of his shirt - lips pulling up into a smile. 
Someone was clearly not feeling shy anymore. He didn’t know if it was a good thing for him. 
“-can I kiss you, noona?” Sunwoo cut off any words you wanted to say. And you didn’t seem all that surprised. “I need to kiss you. actually.”
“Need to, huh?” You were clearly very amused by his words. “Then who am I to stop you?” 
Oh yeah. Definitely a dangerous turn for his sanity. 
“You’re such a tease.” Sunwoo couldn’t help but mutter as he hauled you against him firmly, cutting off your giggle with his lips which turned into a pleased sigh.
Your arms reached up to wrap around his neck, pressed up against each other down to your hips as you raked your nails through his scalp causing a shudder and a groan to leave him. 
Sunwoo kissed you enthusiastically but slowly, seemingly on a mission to memorize every single crevice in your mouth, those plumb lips feeling even softer on your own. He turned your bodies around, never separating from your mouth when he suddenly bent only to pick you up. 
You squeaked in surprise, pulling back momentarily only to be pushed even firmer against the door, your legs spreading to accommodate him between your thighs, your skirt scrunching up. 
That all melted away as you let out a soft moan as Sunwoo finally sucked on your tongue, humming against you with a smirk tugging in the corner of his mouth. He moved away, to the corner of your lips, behind your ear, and down to your neck - wet kisses and his tongue making you pant as your thighs squeezed around his hips. 
Your fingers that were already in his hair tightened their grip even further, holding him against you where he was kissing your neck with a breathless whine and Sunwoo only chuckled at your reaction. 
Honestly, you hadn’t expected him to pick you up just like that. But no part of you was certainly complaining by the turn of events. 
He was more than ready to go further, you noticed. And to be fair, so were you. So strung up with your nerves desperate to find release in any kind that you could have fucked him right in this closet. If it weren’t for the time and place. 
Manvouring Sunwoo’s face back up, you only got a glimpse of his flushed appearance, lidded eyes, and swollen lips before you kissed him again. This time much slower, trying your damn best to calm both of you down. 
Your feet found the ground again, Sunwoo leaning in over you with both hands cupping the back of your neck almost too gently, but a hold that you couldn’t help but rest into. 
It was a struggle to separate, he found out. Pulling back but always needing to dip back in for another kiss or peck. He did it so many times that you ended up laughing. 
“Fuck, I can’t seem to let you go,” Sunwoo murmured, thumb caressing your cheek softly as your eyes sparkled up at him. 
“It’s not the last time.” You assured him, leaning in to press your lips against his neck for a little teasing touch as you smirked in satisfaction feeling him shudder before nuzzling close. 
“I know…” He sighed heavily, obviously not wanting to leave, but the clock was ticking. And the more time they spent lost in each other’s arms would make everyone else around them more suspicious. 
So with a heavy heart and frankly, half a boner - Sunwoo pushed himself away so you could open the door. He took the lead, peeling it open slowly and looking both ways to see it was surprisingly sparse with only a couple of staff on the other end. 
You held onto his hand from behind him, sneaking out slowly as the door clicked shut. From there both of you rushed to where your dressing rooms were - you only being a few doors down from him. 
Just as the sign of The Boyz were in view, Yoo-Mi, your manager came out of your door and freezing both to the spot. 
Sunwoo cursed, body tensing beside you, but he was assured quickly to see the almost entertained smirk on the older woman’s face as she waltzed in their direction. 
“Unnie.” You greeted her sheepishly, never letting go of his hand. You actually moved closer as Sunwoo bowed in greeting. 
“Not a crush, huh?” That was all Yoo-Mi said before shaking her head and moving on. “I’m going toilet, be quick, we’re leaving soon.”
Then they were alone again. Slowly glancing at each other, Sunwoo bit down on his lip before snorting out a laugh with you following with a low laugh. 
“That went well.” He grinned. 
“We really have to go now,” You gave a pointed look at their intertwined hands. 
“Yeah…” His grin didn’t fall as his large hands gently gripped your hips and pulled you closer. You hardly had the power to resist him. “Goodbye kiss?”
“You will be the death of me, Kim Sunwoo.”
Sunwoo leaned down with a mischievous tilt to his mouth, lips brushing against yours as he spoke. “But you would love that, noona.”
Leaning up you sealed the kiss softly, hands resting on his chest only to flinch apart the very next second. 
“Yah Kim Sunw-!”
Q or Changmin stood in the open doorway with his mouth dropped open, only for the two of them to realize they had placed themselves directly in front of The Boyz’ dressing room.
Giving a complete view of both of them to everyone inside as heavy silence fell. 
Well. There went the secrecy.
“What…the hell?” 
Simultaneously taking in the jaw-dropped expressions of his members. You and Sunwoo couldn’t hold back your nearly manic cackles as you fell into him for support.
“Am I dreaming?” Someone wondered out loud in English. 
If this was a dream, then you would never want to wake up. 
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Thank you for reading!
masterlist
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girlbossblackbeard · 6 months
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now that the sag-aftra strike is apparently officially over im physically vibrating out of my skull thinking about all the bts content samba and vico are going to unleash upon us plus all the commentary from the entire cast and crew that they've been waiting to share since the season dropped like im genuinely shaking im so unprepared
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bangtanhoneys · 6 months
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Bangtan Baby: First Steps
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Chaos rained in the practice room of Bangtan Sonyeondan. 
So much so that their choreographer took one look at them and rolled his eyes, throwing up his hands in disbelief but still grinning. Whenever the bangtan baby made her presence, whatever they had planned for the day, was out of the window and gone. Not that staff minded as they were equally besotted with the now one-year-old. 
The one-year-old in question had taken to crawling everywhere and causing absolute mischief, making her father worry if he was getting wrinkles already on his handsome face. 
Tiny hazel eyes watched from the safety of Sejin’s arms as her parents as well as her six uncles lined up to do the choreography of Mic Drop. The first beats came in and in the mirror, Grace could see the little one wiggle her legs to match the music being pumped out of the speakers.
Discreetly, she caught the eye of the woman who usually filmed their Bangtan Bombs and she nodded in the direction of her baby. Once the woman caught on, a camera discreetly pointed to cover their dance practice as well as the new baby.
Bora was at the age now where she could start walking any minute. Some attempts had been made at home on soft carpet and her daughter was interested, especially when Seokjin waved a snack in her face but it just wasn’t happening.
However, music must have been the answer.
The moment they got to ‘Did you see my bag,’ Bora was kicking out her legs so much that Sejin let her stand on the ground. Large hands carefully took hold of tiny fingers as she stumbled on tiny feet.
No one said anything, as BTS continued their usual practice. 
It was Namjoon who spotted her first. 
She was taking very small but steady steps with Sejin right behind her, ready to catch her if she fell. But stubborn like her parents and like her uncles, Bora made enough progress to grab onto Namjoon’s pants and hold on.
“Well who knew it would be Mic Drop that would get you moving,” Hobi laughed as Namjoon picked her up, holding her up high for everyone to see. 
“Obviously a rap line fan,” Yoongi grinned at his hyung who rolled his eyes but couldn’t wipe the proud smile from his face.
“At least it wasn’t baepsae,” Grace laughed as she came over to press kisses all over her daughter’s face, causing her to giggle. 
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pandorasword · 9 months
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Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.
Chaeri's Masterlist
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Seven, the youngest member of BTS Chaeri stars in Jung Kook's video: let's watch it together
BTS's Jung Kook has finally released his long-awaited single, Seven, and starring in the video, in addition to the main vocalist, is Chaeri, his bandmate from the early days
After multiple teasers and a very long wait, Seven is finally available for listening. It had been rumored for months that Chaeri had taken part in the music video for Jeon Jung Kook's single, and recently teasers of the track had also arrived to confirm this.
Now, however, the MV for Seven has finally been released, and we have discovered the story that accompanies the song, which features Jung Kook determined to win Chaeri's heart (to the point of faking his own death in a rather hilarious scene complete with a mock funeral).
Jung Kook, like the other BTS in the hiatus period due to their gradual enlistment in the Korean military service, is thus focusing on his solo career before it is his turn to leave for the military as well. Meanwhile, predictably, Seven ft. Latto is already breaking every record, from the song that reached #1 on iTunes fastest in history (2.5 hours in 100 countries) to the k-pop video that reached 1 million likes fastest on YouTube in 2023, and who knows how many more he will break even before the day is out.
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Fan reaction
Twitter: Search results on #SEVENbyJUNGKOOK
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the last tweet made me tear up 🥹🤧
I wanted to thank my boo @alixnsuperstxr for bringing ideas to my mind whenever I feel put off about posting 💜
Also, I hope to write soon a chapter related to the events of the MV filming, which is relevant for Chaeri, Jungkook and Hongjoong
taglist: @alixnsuperstxr | @bts-dream | @enchantingbrowneyedgirl | @ycuvi
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i-am-baechu · 1 year
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♡ Summary: Y/N loved her members with all her heart, they were her brothers. They raised her since she was fourteen and now she is twenty-five, she was old enough to make adult decisions. Well, not in their eyes.
♡ Rating: Pg - 14
♡ Genre: 8th member au, comedy, romance, fluff, and little angst 
Authors note: Surprise idol boyfriend lol 
L/N Y/N was the eighth member of Bts. She was younger than Jungkook by one year and everyone always compared them too. It was annoying but what else did she expect, she was the only girl in a primarily boy group. She was on the quiet side when she was younger, she would only talk to Seokjin and Yoongi. They made her think of her older brother back at home and it was comforting to be around something so familiar. She didn’t really shine until the DNA era because she was finally an adult and felt more comfortable in her skin. Her relationship with the members grew and Army saw the true her. 
Now she was twenty-five, she was a beloved idol in the industry. She had a sweet angelic voice that sounded like snow falling during winter and many said she had a siren’s voice. While all her members did their solo albums, Y/N took this time to truly relax and focus on her life more. Seokjin and Hoseok already went to the military, something that saddened her but she knew they would be back. 
Y/N looked around before entering the tall building. She smiled at the receptionist who recognized her immediately (then again who wouldn’t), “Ah, Y/N. Back again.”
“Yeah, I am. Unnie, do you know where he is?”
She smiled at this and nodded her head, “He’s in the dance room on the fourth floor. Room 2B.”
“Thank you, unnie.” 
Y/N bowed at the older woman and made her through the building. She made sure her hat covered her eyes the best she could, she didn’t want attention on her. She listened to his voice through the elevator and a smile appeared on her lips. She always loved his voice and how he could easily carry the song with his high note, it was just beautiful. She knocked on the dance room door and she opened it to see him standing there already looking at the door with a smile. 
“Jagiya~.” She ran towards him as his face heated up from the name but he ignored it and wrapped his arms over her waist. She nuzzled her face into his chest as he kissed the top of her head, “I missed you so much, Doyoung.”
“I missed you too.”
Y/N and Kim Dong-Young from NCT have been dating for almost two years now. All the members of NCT knew about the couple but her members had no idea that she was even seeing someone. She never really talked about people she was interested in, she kept it to herself. She met Doyoung during the end of the Golden Disk Award backstage. 
She accidentally went into the wrong dressing room and that’s how she met him. She always thought he was cute and she would be lying if she said she didn’t have a crush on him. She would always listen to NCT in secret in the dorms and whenever she saw him appear on her screen, she felt her heartbeat get faster. Doyoung was the first one to speak to her and the rest was history. He was shy and more introverted than her, she would make him talk and take him out whenever they had free time. 
Doyoung wanted Y/N to move in with him but she had to figure out how to tell her members. This was a sensitive subject for the two. Doyoung understood why she was hiding but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. She felt so guilty about hiding their relationship but she knew how her members get when the opposite sex looks at her. 
When they let go, she leaned up, placing a kiss on his cheek, “Did you get my flowers?”
“Yes, I did. Thank you, I loved them.” 
“It’s not every day that your partner releases a sub-unit album.”
He rolled his eyes and kissed the top of her head, “When are you going to release your album?”
She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his chest, “I’m not in a rush for it. When I do though, it will be a love song for you.”
“Aish, jagiya. You love to embarrass me.” 
“I do, where’s the others?” 
He pushed some hair behind her ear and smiled down at her, “I was practicing on my own today.”
“Did you eat yet, jagiya?”
“I ate this morning.”
Y/N’s head snapped at him and she glared at him, “It’s four in the afternoon and you haven’t eaten. Doyoung, that’s bad.” 
“I’m sorry, do you want to go eat right now?”
She pouted her lips and nodded her head, “You can’t do that to yourself. It’s not good for your body.”
“I’m sorry, let’s go to your favorite restaurant.” 
“No, let’s go to your favorite restaurant.” 
Doyoung let out a small laugh and rolled his eyes, “Fine. I know your stubborn heart will make things difficult, let’s go.”
She smiled at this and leaned forward placing a quick kiss on his lips, “I always win.” 
He gathered his things and grabbed her hand. His thumb creased the top of her knuckles as they headed out. They walked out of the building towards the back and headed towards his car with smiles on their faces. He opened her door, helped her into the car, and placed a kiss on her forehead before closing the door. She felt her face get hot but she shook her head. He entered the car and started playing classical music. He turned towards her and saw that she was already looking at him with love in her eyes. He smiled and leaned forward placing a longing kiss on her lips, “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you more, Doyoung.” 
“Where did she go?” Jungkook was looking through her apartment and turned towards his hyungs with a confused look. Namjoon sighed to himself and rubbed the back of his neck roughly, “Jungkook, she might have gone out with her friends.” 
Taehyung entered her bedroom and his eyebrow raised when he saw an album on her bed. He walked towards it and gently picked it up. Jimin entered the room and tilted his head, “What’s that?” 
Taehyung looked up at him with a frown, “It looks like our maknae has been hiding something from us.” 
“Oh like what?” 
Taehyung flipped the album and Jimin’s eyes squinted to read the message. His eyes quickly went wide and looked at Taehyung, “No, way!” 
“What are you guys yelling about?”
They both turned towards the door frame to see Yoongi standing there. They both glanced at each other and then back at Yoongi. Yoongi is the last person that should find out her little secret, it would cause trouble for her. Taehyung shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the floor, “I saw a spider.”
“Then why did Jimin say no way? What are you holding?” 
“Hyung-”
Yoongi snatched the album out of their hand to take a look. Normally he wouldn’t look at their stuff but with Jimin’s reaction, it made him worry. He glared at the album and then back at Jimin, “Do you think this is true?”
“Hyung, I-I don’t know.” 
“Namjoon! Jungkook! Get in here!” 
In the living room, Namjoon and Jungkook looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and they went inside her bedroom. Namjoon wrapped his arm over Yoongi’s shoulder, “What’s going on?”
“Y/N is dating Doyoung.”
“What?” 
Yoongi handed the album to Jungkook and Jungkook glared at the album, “To my favorite person in the world. My love, thank you for the support on this album, it means the world to me. Whenever you listen to this song I hope you picture me with you on the beach. I love you, Doyoung. That little shit.” 
Jimin let out a small laugh and rolled his eyes, “That little shit is older than you, kook.” 
Namjoon let out a small cough and took the album out of his hands, “It's sweet that he wrote her a message. I think it's cute that she's dating someone.” 
Yoongi rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over her chest, “He’s too old for her.”
“Hyung, he's only two years older than her.” 
Yoongi glared at Taehyung and shook his head, “That doesn’t matter to me. He’s too old for her. Wait until I tell Jin and Hoseok this.” 
“We will have that dinner this weekend with them. Should we tell her that we know this...”
Namjoon let out a sigh and shook his head, “It’s not our business.”
“It is because she's our little sister, hyung.”
“Jungkook, it’s her life and it sounds like she's happy with him.” 
Yoongi tossed the album back to the bed and looked at all the members, “We’ll tell Jin and Hoseok before the dinner and we can figure it out from there. Let’s leave before she comes back. I bet she's on a date with him right now.”
Doyoung placed some rice cake on her plate and she smiled at him, “Thank you, oppa.” 
His face turned red and looked away from her eyes, “D-Don’t call me that in public.”
She let out a laugh and took a bite of her tofu stew, “Why is it because of your oppa kink?”
“Jagiya! Stop it!” 
She placed more rice into his bowl and gave him a smirk, “You know it's true. Speaking of oppa, we’re having dinner with Jin-oppa and Hoseok-oppa this Friday.” 
“Oh, that’s good. I know how much you miss them.” 
“I do miss them...I was thinking that you could come with me?”
Doyoung choked on his rice and looked at her with wide eyes, “You want me to come!?” 
“I was thinking about it but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” 
“Should I be around people that know how to handle guns especially when I’m dating their little sister?” 
“Good point. I'll tell them I’m dating someone then.”
Doyoung reached over and placed his hand on top of hers, “Baby, are you ready for that?” 
“I want them to know I have someone in my life. I want them to see how happy you make me.” 
“If you're ready then I’m ready.” 
•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•
“Oppa, can you hand me my brush?” 
Jimin looked up from his phone and nodded his head. Y/N was in her bedroom with Jimin and Taehyung getting ready for dinner. Well, they broke into her apartment and didn’t want to leave so here they are now. Y/N fixed her baby blue shirt and took the brush out of his hand, “Thank you~.” 
“Of course, anything for you.” 
She brushed her hair and Taehyung glanced at Jimin. Jimin shrugged his shoulders and Taehyung sighed, “Hey, Y/N.”
“Mmm?” 
“You wouldn’t hide anything from us right?” 
She glanced at him through the mirror and then back at her reflection, “No, why would I?”
“Just asking?”
Taehyung looked at Jimin and Jimin sighs, “We were just curious, hun. We’ll be in the living room waiting for you.” 
She watched them leave and she frowned to herself. They were acting weird, weirder than normal. She shook her head and let out a small laugh, “I’m just tripping.” 
They had never had an awkward dinner but tonight was the night to change that. She sat next to Jungkook and when she came in, he wouldn’t even look at her. He kept staring at his plate or he would be talking to the other members, leaving her hanging. Yoongi was more quiet than usual and Seokjin had this tight smile when she hugged him. Everyone else was acting like they were walking on eggshells. She sighed at this and slammed her chopsticks, “What’s going on?”
Namjoon smiled at her and took a sip of his water, “What do you mean?” 
“You guys are acting weird...I don’t like it.”
“You know what I don’t like, liars.” 
Y/N looked at Yoongi with a confused look and furrowed her eyebrows, “What do you mean?”
Jungkook looked at her and shook his head, “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Tell you what? What-”
“Y/N.” She looked at Jin and saw that he had a serious look. She wanted to disappear because she hated this look on him. Jin put down his chopsticks and looked at her, “How long have you been dating Doyoung?” 
Oh, she hated this so much. Her mouth fell open and ignored everyone in the room but Jin, “What-How do you know?”
“Answer the question.”
“Fo-For almost two years…Oppa-”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She glanced down at the table and then back at Jin, “I didn’t tell any of you because I knew how you would react...” 
Hoseok gave her a small smile and shook his head, “Y/N we wouldn’t-”
“Yes, you guys would. Look how you were treating me just now. I’m not fourteen anymore, I’m twenty-five. I thought you guys would be happy for me.”
Jungkook scoffed next to her and shook his head, “You hid this from us and you think you have the right to get mad at us?” 
“Stop treating me like I’m a little kid. You guys got mad that I was talking to Changkyun and even threatened Shownu to keep him away from me. We were just talking about a video game. So yeah, I’m sorry that I hid this from you guys but you made things hard for me.” 
Yoongi slammed his hand on the table causing her to jump. She glanced at Yoongi feeling small under his eyes, “Everything we do is to protect you, Y/N.”
“Oppa, I know that but-”
“It hurts that you hid this from us. We could’ve celebrated together but now were hurt because of you hiding the truth. Have you ever thought about that?” 
She frowned at this and looked down at the table. She shook her head and then looked back at Yoongi, “Oppa, you guys don’t-”
“Y/N you should’ve just told us.”
She looked at Namjoon and shook her head at this. She stood up from the table and looked at them with a sad look, “You guys always treated me like a kid. I know I’m the youngest but I’m an adult now. Every time I tried talking to a guy you guys pushed them away from me. I’m sorry I kept this away from you guys but you guys need to understand why I did it. Oppa, I’ll call you when you are free at the camp. Bye.” 
She ran out of the restaurant and took her phone out. She dialed Doyoung’s number as she let the tear escape from her eye. She sniffled and roughly wiped her eyes, “Jagiya, can you-can you pick me up?”
“Are you okay? You sound like you're crying.”
“Please pick me up...I’m at the restaurant that you took me to last week.”
“I’m five minutes away. I’ll be there soon. I love you.”
“I love you more.” 
He came by fast and it even shocked her how fast he got there. He got out of his car and wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed the top of her head, “What happened?”
“How did you get here so fast?”
“Ignore that, what happened?” 
She sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist, “They were being difficult...can I stay at your place tonight?” 
“Of course, you can. Let’s go.” 
Seokjin watched from the window and let out a deep sigh. He turned towards the guy and shook his head, “You guys didn’t handle that right.” 
“Hyung-”
“No Jungkook. I was going to tell her I’m disappointed in her but I would love to meet him. You guys took it too far and treated her like she was small when she’s not. She’s at the same level as us.” 
Yoongi shook his head at this, “She’s our little sister-”
“Who’s twenty-five, hyung.”
Yoongi turned his head towards Hoseok who gave him a look making him sigh, “I know she’s twenty-five...I just want to protect her still.”
Hoseok sighed at this and took a sip of his water, “You can’t always protect her, hyung. She has to go through life and we just have to support her.” 
“Fuck, I know. We need to apologize.” 
•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•
It’s been three days since the dinner and Y/N hasn’t really talked to anyone. Jin and Hoseok already apologize for their attitude at the dinner. She of course accepted because she loves them with her whole heart and she misses them. The others haven’t even tried to say anything to her and it was honestly making her upset. She came home from a late meeting and her eyes widened when she saw Doyoung waiting in the lobby with roses in his hands. 
She smiled at this and slowly walked up to him, “You got me flowers?”
He jumped at the sudden voice and gave her a small glare, “What did I say about scaring me?”
“But it's so fun.”
She took the flowers out of his hand as he rolled his eyes, “I don’t think it's fun. I thought you deserved roses after the couple of days you had.” 
“Thank you, it made me feel better. You want some dinner?” 
“Oh, what are you cooking?” 
“I had leftover tofu and I was just gonna fry them.” 
The couple made their way to her suite, talking about random things. When she unlocked the door she was met with the smell of chicken and freshly made rice. She glanced at Doyoung and he got in front of her just in case. They slowly made their way down the hallway and she pushed past Doyoung with an annoyed look, “What the hell are you guys doing?” 
Her members looked at her with wide eyes and Namjoon gave her a small smile, “An apology dinner?” 
“Is that a question?” 
Yoongi rolled his eyes and glanced at Doyoung. He swallowed some spit and bowed at him, making Doyoung stand there with wide eyes, “I’m Min Yoongi. It’s a pleasure to meet my sister's boyfriend.” 
Doyoung glanced at Y/N who just shrugged her shoulders. He turned towards Yoongi and bowed back, “I-I’m Kim Dong-Young, Y/N’s boyfriend…”
Jungkook smiled at him and clapped his hands, “We wanted to make dinner for Y/N but you can sit with us, only if you want to.”
Doyoung rubbed his neck and nodded his head, “I-I would love to stay and eat.”
She glanced at Jimin and Namjoon and whispered, “This doesn’t mean you guys are forgiven.”
Taehyung overheard her and let out a small laugh, “We know but this is a start. We made your favorite.”
She rolled her eyes and nodded her head, “Thank you oppa…”
Jimin smiled and kissed her forehead, “Let’s eat, we have to interrogate your boyfriend.”
“Oppa please don’t.” 
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