#men are idiots 🤦🏻‍♀️ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ourpickwickclub · 27 days

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OMG someone (GR? lol) must be reporting the comments on ET's IG, cuz some of the BEST ones are now hidden. Whoever screenshots them, can you please get the hidden ones too, cuz they are too good. like these:

I think I speak for all women Gavin, you cheated we don't give two s**** about your feelings, and you get to live with that until your kids you're a big cheating loser bag.

Here's how not to get divorced don't be a whore

You cheated and how she found out about it was humiliating and you wish there was more of a connection with the person you cheated on???!!! Your narcissistic, self centred, selfish side is showing. Go back under your rock and grow a sensitivity chip. Geez

Maybe he should have kept his 🍆 in his pants!

Wasn't he banging the nanny? That's what he should feel shame about

Should have thought about that when he was cheating with the nanny! 💩

Came to the comments to say what everyone else is saying YOU CHEATED THOUGH RIGHT? Woman are not centers for broken men 🖤 men need to grow up and hold themselves accountable for destroying things. This dude is a clown and I hope he knows it.

You never thought you would get divorced? Because you thought Gwen was a slave to your blatant and flagrant infidelity? What a pompous loser!!

The man shagged the nanny and now is blaming the ex for the family break up and lack of connection 😒

Oh, please. We know this type of guy. Effing Cheater!

Stupid m fu**er 🤷🏼‍♀️and with the Nanny 🤦🏼‍♀️stupider 😩

He’s a butthole

Somebody smack the audacity out of that man.

Well duh you wouldn’t have if you had kept you 🍆 in your pants ! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Don’t be a dirt bag cheater

Then he shouldn’t have been a cheating pig! Let that be a lesson to cheaters! You ruin lives.

So while he was running around the world putting his penis in strange women, he never thought "Hey, I wonder if this might lead to a divorce for me."

You feel bad for kids. Dude you cheated HELLO. Keep it moving your a disgrace as a lil man

Oh please now you want Gwen’s attention in your life? Give it up

Such a jerk

Well, he should have kept his pecker in his pants. That was his choice.

Well maybe he shouldn't have been a whore!

Well, you f’d the babysitter. Pretty sure that was not in your marriage vows! Idiot! She is much better now than she was when she was with him.

"I never thought id ever get divorced" he almost said "I thought she put up with it and stay for the sake of the kids cause he feels bad for them how stupid is he

Cheater . She’s happy. Let it be .

Yeah, it would have been nice if you didn't stick your d inside your nanny! Then maybe you wouldn't have any shame?

Should have kept your penis in your pants . You caused the break up of your marriage and now you’re crying about a lost connection with your kids . You didn’t just cheat on Gwen , you cheated on your 3 kids .

Helps if you keep your penis in your pants too

Sir we do not give a flying fck what u have to say.

Cheaters always come back to play the victim! Boy bye Go on and join in with Jimmie Allen, I’m sure they can be cheating besties!

He’s a cheating sack of ugly it’s no wonder she left

You f U — t someone else, a lot!

These things tend to happen when you’re at dirty Cheater

Ya CHEATER!

Right… while he was banging the nanny

Makes me so sad... What a moron cheating on her. ESP with a downgrade.

Cheaters deserve the worst

While then you shouldn’t have cheated! Loser

Perhaps if you’d kept your pecker in your pants things would be different. I’m glad for Gwen that she’s found so much happiness and rebuilt a beautiful home. The divorce must have been a painful time for her

You never deserved Gwen you pos

Cheaters always try to find an excuse to play the victim

===

Just wanted to post the hidden ones here in case they get deleted, although screenshots look better...it reminds me of when Gibson was deleting every facebook comment roasting ML in their ad last year. All of the comments were pure gold, did anyone happen to screenshot them before they got deleted? They were so funny. It feels good when people get what they deserve.

Even though it can never take away the pain that BG suffered, it's nice to see so many people on the side of TRUTH and not falling for lies and manipulation.

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jadedbirch · 4 months

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The Three Musketeers (2023) - Part 1: d'Artagnan

Directed: Martin Bourboulon

Starring: Vincent Cassel, Eva Green, François Civil

First of all, you do not know the struggle we had to go through to even get our eyeballs on this movie! Only die hard Dumas idiots like me would have even bothered 🤦🏻‍♀️. Finally, we had to buy it from AppleTV. Anywho, below is my live blog of the latest French nonsense! I make a point of tutoring myself watching as many 3 Musketeers adaptations as possible, regardless of the psychological damage, and I kind of have high hopes for this one despite the fact that I can already tell they cast more for 20 Years After than for The 3 Musketeers. But I'm willing to pretend there are no good, young actors in France (because there's no other way to explain these casting choices) for the sake of my own sanity. The rest of my babbling and movie spoilers will be below the cut!

I see we start the movie in 1627, which already makes me laugh 🤣. The book famously starts in 1625 and then they time skip a year and a half into the future because I guess Dumas remembered that the war starts in 1627. Alex was the king of inexplicable time skips and I see the movie has chosen to stick to history rather than literary canon 👌🏻.

Everything is cold, dark, and wet. I have no idea what's going on, or who this blond woman is, or why d'Artagnan is coming back from the dead. But I'm always in favor of immortal abominations 😈.

It does entertain me that Eric Ruf, who played Aramis in an earlier French adaptation, plays Richelieu in this one. Nice touch.

LOL d'Artagnan gate crashing the musketeer headquarters all "I'm not Soviet, the French do not stand in line!" Anyways, he's authentically obnoxious, which I like, although clearly also 20 years too old.

I feel like this is an AU that takes place before they invented soap and also dyes, which is hilarious because if they're going for historical accuracy, this is just what the plebs think looks "authentic". Why are these men all so dirty and old? At least they make fun of Athos being a thousand years old in the movie, but why is Jussac also so ancient? And still serving in the guards? Life expectancy back then was like 25, but surely no one would be serving in the army past the age of 50, which was like Ancient for the 1600s, even among nobility.

I must laugh at the fact that Athos straight up introduces himself to d'Artagnan as Athos de Sillegue, le comte de La Fère. So, I see we are just going to go there 🤭🤭🤭. This changes his story arc completely though, stay tuned for my whinging. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Absolutely incredible, legendary , A++, 11000/10: bisexual Porthos waking up in bed with a lady and a dude after a night of debauchery! Chef's fucking kiss! I forgive the fact that there are no young people in France.

Aramis, so far is very Murder Kitten. I do wish he'd wash his face more and do something about his guyliner (I feel like he should have just committed to MORE MAKEUP frankly because the guyliner alone is odd), but c'est la vie, I guess.

Plus one point for Athos getting wrongly arrested, minus twenty points for making Athos a Protestant WTF? And in what world would a nobleman of Athos' lineage get sentenced to death for stabbing an unknown woman? This is all so silly! (I do have to give Milady points for just like fucking with him so fantastically. Plus one revenge point to Milady.)

Aramis torturing a guy to save Athos is honestly 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 11/10 Murder Kitten, automatic plus one point.

This is all incredibly Dramatique, as much as it strains credulity. I love it when modern directors decide that they can write better "action" than Dumas himself. I'm just sitting here screaming "Why would you have that conversation where anyone can hear you!" Minus one point.

I must say Constance and d'Artagnan have a much more believable romance here than in the book. Plus 5 non-creeper points.

(Please I can't stop looking at how old all these Musketeers are 😅😅😅)

Okay so they've also given Athos a BROTHER. Who is part of a Protestant conspiracy. This is all so fucking crazy, I don't even know what to say. Am I watching the musketeers or La Reine Margot? 🤔

Incidentally, the King also gets a brother! Everyone gets a brother! J/K at least the King really did have a historical brother. Athos just gets fucked with in this movie a lot. Automatic minus one point for unnecessary siblings.

WHY must you all insist on having these super SECRET conversations in the middle of a public square where literally anyone can hear you? Minus one dumbass point.

And now d'Artagnan must go to England.... Alone? Because it's more heroic this way? Ambushed by ghost squirrels in the woods? Oh no, that's just Athos, lurking in the woods, as one does. "All misery comes from love." Thanks, Old Man Lush.

This revisionist tale of Milady's past is all very convenient but I FUCKING HATE IT every single time they try to do this in modern adaptations. Let Milady Be Evil 2023! But I see that you will not. Listen, it's not "feminist" to turn the villain into the victim. I'm so tired. 🤦🏻‍♀️ These misguided attempts at feminism really do not do her any favors, she has a lot more agency as simply the Really Bad Girl who just wanted money and power. Minus 5 points for not letting Milady have any fun and minus another 10 points for giving her an abusive ex-husband!

As for Athos, IMO it's always much more compelling to let him be the guy who tried to kill his beloved wife for betraying him, than to make him the spineless man who turns her over to the authorities for Handwavium. Yes, it's pretty fucked up. But it's much more humanizing and makes him a darker, more interesting character. And I will always maintain that.

(This movie is so fucking dark, all the scenes take place at night or in some cthonic tunnels or prisons ffs have mercy on my eyes!)

Oh dear, here we go again. Milady taking a Dramatique - and completely unnecessary - dive off a cliff. Only this time, we know she doesn't die because.... She can swim? And definitely will not have all her bones broken by that 1000 ft fall. Minus 20 points for lazy writing.

(My God, everyone is so dirty, you would think they never did their laundry in France 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Ironically, the only well lit scene takes place in what looks like the Notre Dame which is just very silly as that place is a sepulcher.

(Once again, we are advancing the plot by having super secret conversations conducted in the middle of the palace with an open door where anyone can see and hear you plotting 🤦🏻‍♀️ Minus one petty point.)

Okay, so poor Constance has been kidnapped, and our young hero (who is already a Lieutenant because he and his pals conveniently saved the King's life in a plot twist that was very necessary in other to return Athos to favor in this version) lies unconscious in the streets. They probably didn't even try to kill him this time because they know he's immortal. And speaking of people who just won't die, in a mid-credits scene, it is confirmed that Milady is indeed, very much Not Dead Yet. Surprise! The scene is now set for war in The Three Musketeers: Part 2: Milady.

In summary:

I tallied up my totally random points and ended up with a score of -51, which is Not Good, my friends.

Okay, so I've seen much worse? It's better than Atrocity in 3D, for example, which was just barely watchable as a film and as an adaptation. But they changed so much about the plot and some of the main characters, that it doesn't really feel true to the spirit of the book at this point, which is my main criteria for measuring whether an adaptation is successful. And the main reasons for that are because it's much darker and grittier and less fun than the novel. Which - Quelle domage!

I know that as an unrepentant Athos fangirl, I tend to be biased, so I was trying to be on guard (heheh get it?) for my own biases while watching this. But it's really difficult when Ya Boy is such an integral part of the novel as well as this particular adaptation. And so I must regrettably come back to what a shame it is that they've cast a 60 year old Athos (Vincent Cassel is 57 and he's a fabulous actor whom I've loved in many of his worlks), and I feel like they had to rewrite his character to be more age appropriate and less of the drunken asshole he is in Dumas' first d'Artagnan book. But that's the asshole I fell in love with, and will stan forever. Without him going around beating his servant, indulging his gambling addiction, and being a sarcastic pain in everyone's ass, it's just a completely different story.

Pros:

Hot Eva Green!

bisexual Porthos!

d'Artagnan is given a much less creepy love story with Constance (and I assume he will also not be nonconning Milady in this adaptation)

The King and Queen are much more humanized and sympathetic here.

Cons:

Visually really drab, everything is brown, everyone is dirty.

Very little humor unlike in the novel and some other adaptations.

EVERYONE IS WAY TOO OLD, which changes the feeling of the story significantly, and IMO for the worse, because these people are just not allowed to have fun, and subsequently, neither is the audience.

I will still absolutely be here for Part 2 because I am a masochist!

Grade: B- as a piece of art, but a C as an adaptation of the Dumas classic.

#the three musketeers #2023 the three musketeers #alexandre dumas #the three musketeers: d'artagnan

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scorpiussage · 1 year

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Alfie Solomons + Quid Pro Quo

Pairing: Alfie Solomons x Reader

Warnings: smut

For me because I’m an idiot 🤦🏻‍♀️

Your family is damn lucky to have you, you think as you make your way through Solomons’ ‘bakery’ towards his office. Tommy especially, as he’s really the one who will be benefiting from this the most. And really he should be the one doing this, not you. After all, he’s the one who started this whole mess with the Italians.

Alfie’s massive frame is hunched over piles of paperwork at his desk and his spectacles are in danger of falling off the end of his nose. Ollie, who’s led you to the office, knocks on the door frame politely only for Alfie to snap (without looking up), “What the fuck is it now, Ollie?!”

The poor boy flushes and tries to answer, but he wasn’t quick enough because Alfie’s continuing on in his tirade, “I thought I fucking told yo-!”

That’s when Alfie looks up and catches sight of you leaning against the doorframe, your eyebrow cocked up in that infuriatingly arrogant manor that you always see Tommy do. He leans back in his chair in surprise, his eyes tracking up and down your frame before correcting course and looking towards his whipping boy.

“Alright, Ollie, you can go,” he dismisses the lad who practically sprints to leave the general vicinity, thankful to get away from his boss’ terrible temper.

You roll your eyes at the dramatics of it all and close the office door behind yourself as you enter, your fingers deftly clicking the lock into place. At the sound of that Alfie sits up to his full height in his chair, his hand already reaching into the drawer that he keeps his gun in. You wave him off, though, as you remove your coat and hang it carefully on the coat rack next to Alfie’s.

He doesn’t remove his hand from the drawer, but he does relax slightly. His eyes never leave you, though, and you know he’s fully prepared to shoot you regardless of if you’re a woman and his best friend’s sister, “What’s this about, then?”

His voice always has the most delectable rumble to it that hits you from your toes to the top of your head.

You circle around his desk and halfway sit yourself on the corner, “I want to make a deal with you.”

His hand is now fully removed from the gun drawer and is instead stroking his beard in consideration, “Oh?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard plenty about this mess with the Italians?” you ask while nervously fiddling with your necklace. This whole issue has admittedly had you pretty freaked out. You don’t want anyone in your family to die.

Alfie nods while leaning back in his chair more comfortably, “Had them fuckin’ wops comin’ in here and tryna make demands. I know about it; what is it you want, love?”

You flush at the endearment, ever since he first met you when you’d helped Tommy limp in here to make a deal against Sabini, he’s always called you ‘Love’. If Tommy hadn’t been so distracted and in pain, he probably would have blown a gasket hearing it.

“We need men to hold down our territory,” the Blinders just weren’t cutting it anymore and no doubt both John and Arthur were going to scream at you once they found out, but it was a necessity, “I was hoping we could commandeer some of yours.”

Alfie’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise and he chuckles, “Well, that’s not a cheap thing, love. You got that kind of money lying about?”

Truthfully, no. All your money is whatever Tommy decides to give you as allowance.

You boldly look the mob boss in the eyes as you reach up and begin undoing the buttons on your dress, “I don’t have money.”

Alfie’s hand, quick as a whip, snatches your wrists, stopping your movements, “That’s– listen, love, you don’t need to be comin’ in here and doing that. I’ll work something out with payment with your brother, eh?”

Your jaw clenches at those words. All your life you’ve been treated like a little girl and you, frankly, are fucking sick of it. And you’ve seen the way that Alfie looks at you, the way his eyes crinkle in warmth when he greets you. This wouldn’t be any sort of sacrifice on your part, he’s an incredibly handsome man and you’ve wanted him for some time.

Wrenching your hands out of his, you continue to undress, letting the fabric slip from your shoulders to pool around your feet. Alfie visibly gulps, his hands still held out before him like he wants to touch you but can’t bring himself to.

You slip between his chair and the desk and seat yourself onto the wooden surface, ignoring the fact that you’re likely wrinkling his very important documents. Now Alfie is eye level with your knicker covered core and he looks like he’s fighting a losing battle in his mind.

You lean back on your hands, spreading your legs and planting your feet playfully on the arm rests of his chair, “What’s the matter, Mr. Solomons?”

“Fuckin’ hell, love,” he gasps out, his fingers twitching just inches from the skin of your thigh. You lift your leg and force the contact, and once you do, he’s a goner.

He surges up out of his chair, caging you in against the desk and panting in your face, “You get one last chance to back out.”

You don’t even take the time to consider it; instead you’re wrapping your arms around his shoulders and kissing him. His beard is scratchy and odd feeling against your face but you find you don’t mind it in the slightest as he coaxes your jaw open to deepen the kiss. He tastes like sweet bread and you moan as he grips your waist to tug you to the very edge of the desk.

When he pulls back he tells you with all the honesty in his soul, “I‘ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

He’s terribly gentle as he undoes the tie holding your brazier, his calloused hands rubbing reverently over every inch of revealed skin. He thumbs your nipples and smirks at your soft gasps.

“What have you done to me, little witch?” he asks rhetorically, his lips already descending to start leaving love bites along your collarbone. Some of these marks are going to be impossible to hide from your brothers you realize with a huff. Alfie must sense what you’re thinking because he bursts out into immature little giggles while he starts playing with the buttons on your knickers.

“If Tommy doesn’t kill you for this, Arthur sure as hell will,” you grumble, your own fingers lifting to begin undoing the buttons on his shirt.

“Eh, your brothers can go kick rocks, you’re a grown woman,” and there’s a definite innuendo tucked into those words as he slips your knickers off, revealing your body in its entirety to him. You shyly spread your legs under his heated gaze, your hand slipping down along your stomach towards your folds. He lets out a rumbling groan and then throws himself into his chair, scooting the wooden thing forward. He grabs your legs and throws them over his shoulders, ignoring your surprised yelp as he buries his face between your thighs.

You’ve never had a man eat you out before, and at first you’re apprehensive until he licks a long stripe up from your entrance to your clit that has you letting out a louder than usual moan. You forget entirely whatever it was you were thinking about, only able to focus on the feeling of his tongue licking you up and down and then circling that most sensitive bundle of nerves. Your fingers thread through his hair, yanking him forward so that you can grind along his face.

His chuckles would normally be irritating, but they vibrate your core in the most delightful way. You’re certain the whole of the bakery can hear you gasping Alfie’s name like a holy prayer.

The orgasm hits you like a freight train, bowling you over and sprawling you across his desk like some needy whore, your back most certainly wrinkling his paperwork as you arch in pleasure.

He leaves trails of kisses on the insides of your thighs as you come down from your high.

“God has blessed me here today, he has,” Alfie remarks while standing up from the chair and working on opening his trousers, “Ain’t never had a more beautiful, incredible woman all to meself like this.”

You mewl as he spreads you open again, his cock already in hand and running up and down your oversensative slit like his tongue did. Awareness creeps back into you and you tense when you see the size of him, your eyes going wide with alarm. He rubs his hand over your stomach soothingly, saying, “No need to be frightened, love, you’ll be able to take this.”

You try to relax, your fingers gripping the edge of the desk to steady yourself as he lines up. For Alfie’s part, he’s very gentle and slow as he pushes into you, his voice a constant stream of soft, cooing encouragements. When he’s all the way in, he even holds himself there and waits patiently for you to adjust.

You are practically shaking on his cock, your body jerking about in a strange combination of discomfort and pleasure that you’ve never experienced before. He just watches you, his hips not even giving so much as a twitch from the position he’s set himself in. You figured he was more experienced, but God, you feel like a virgin with him.

“Alfie,” you cry, your voice high and begging, “Please.”

That’s all the cue he needs before he’s gripping your hips tight enough to bruise and fucking you with an unerring confidence. The desk under you begins to make a soft thudding noise as he rocks the two of you back and forth and you’re helpless to his pace, too pleasure-strung-out to try to initiate anything.

Your second orgasm is a sneaky one, creeping up on you before you can even realize what’s happening. Alfie does, though, and his grin is wicked as he starts thumbing your clit.

“Gonna cum on me cock, yeah? Go on then, love, cum,” that’s all the permission you need and your whole body seizes up tight as your climax zaps through you. Alfie’s hips are fucking you at an incredible pace, your own orgasm fueling the beginning of his.

To your disappointment, he pulls out and splatters his seed all up your belly. Your fingers drag through the spend, gathering it up and dripping it into your mouth, your tongue licking up what’s left.

Alfie curses rather colorfully at the display and slumps back into his chair, “You’re a fuckin’ dream, love.”

You carefully climb off his desk and both of you begin the task of redressing. As you’re fixing your hair in the small mirror on his wall, Alfie says,”The men you need are yours. But this isn’t a one off thing, what we just did between us.”

You suddenly imagine what it would be like to marry Alfie and live a happy life in the countryside. It’s a beautiful dream and one that both you and he will have to put on hold until this business with the Italians is done.

“Tommy’s going to want to merge the businesses and he’ll be an absolute tyrant about his cut,” You tell him in reply.

Alfie grumbles petulantly, his face comically sour at the reminder that if he wants a relationship with you, it means joining your families in more ways than one.

Before you leave, Alfie plants a sweet peck on your lips, his eyes dancing with visible adoration for you.

“Ishmael will drive you to that communist sister of yours,” he tells you before showing you out.

Maybe making this deal wasn’t such a sacrifice after all.

…

Check out open slots/other bingo oneshots here!

#Alfie Solomons #alfie solomons x reader #alfie solomons imagine #peaky blinders #baddie bingo

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nattinatalia · 2 years

Text

Urban Wyatt Instagram AU

*I make preferences from old aus so just keep in mind.*

when I say (girlfromvideo) I’m talking about a girl he was seen with in a video & they had gotten into an argument about it. Idk how to link stuff yet so I’m sorry if I’m confusing you.•

Liked by enews, randompress, and 1,788,455 others

theshaderoom 🚨 JUST IN 🚨 let us know your thoughts down below 👇🏼

View all 6,900 comments

yourusername I think y’all are bored and in need of a pay day.

yourbestiename Lmao what? Since when? This is news to me.

allabouttheharlows You know Jack must be pissed about this.

jackharlow Ain’t nothing to be mad about, wife and I are good. This is all lies.

yourbestiename This is wild, I’m working on a song with him, y/n is too. So idk how the media turned it into this nonsense. Run me money for putting out fake information.

urbanwyatt At least you and y/bestie/n are good, can’t say the same for me and y/n

yourusername You’re talking out of your ass again 🙄

urbanwyatt Really? That’s why you were seen leaving dudes place.

yourusername I’m not even going to entertain your bullshit right now. The fact that you’re questioning my loyalty says a lot. Thanks for that.

maluma Que? 😂 no pues estoy re-cabron si pude jalar a estas dos duras 🔥

maluma @ urbanwyatt @ jackharlow This is false we’re working on music

jackharlow I know, didn’t even have to question it. We’re good 👍🏼 thanks though.

maluma Y/N si tu novio no te cree pues entonces a qué hacerlo realidad 😉

yourusername Juancho not the time to joke 🤦🏻‍♀️

girlfromvideoname 🤭 I knew this little relationship was going to end sooner or later. Urby come to my place tonight 😉

yourusername Bitch I will fuck you up, I’m not fucking playing anymore. Every time you got some type of shit to say.

urbanwyatt Don’t turn your anger to someone else. You got caught, own that shit. @ girfromvideoname hit my line.

urbanwyatt @ maluma fuck you

maluma Para eso está tu novia 😉 🤤

yourusername Urban I swear to god, fuck you if you go and entertain this bitch.

girlfromvideoname I’ll send you a video of me riding his face. You know, return the favor 😉

druski2funnny Urb if you don’t set this girl straight 🤬

cozane 😬

💕

@ girlfromvideoname added to their story

💕

@ urbanwyatt added to their story

💕

Liked by princeroyce, austinmahone, and 8,677,345 others

maluma Watching my girl 😉

View all 1,800 comments

princeroyce Juancho 😂💀

austinmahone 💀💀💀

yourbestiename All of you must be looking for a death wish or something. This isn’t the time to be trolling

maluma Mi amor por favor, es solo una broma. El gringo no entiende que y/n no tiene ojos para nadie más?

urbanwyatt You’re just asking to get knocked out.

urbanwyatt @ austinmahone Asking for another black eye from me huh?

yourusername 🤦🏻‍♀️ Men always finding satisfaction when a woman is suffering. All of you are idiots.

💕

Liked by yourbestiename, neelamthadhani, alexademie, and 8,678,445 others

yourusername I’m allowed five minutes of crying, then I’m back to being a boss bitch. Keep trying me, I dare you. Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, I’ll choke you with the same hand I fed you with.

View all 1,900 comments

yourbestiename Te amo bebecita, I’m always here for you 💕

yourusername I love you 😘 thank you for keeping me company this week. Already miss you and the bebecitos.

yourbestiename Say the word and I’ll turn back around.

yourusername I love you for that, but no, you need to go see your man and the babies miss their dad.

druski2funnny Damn sis Urban really fucked up huh if he has you crying on the gram

jackharlow 🤦🏼‍♂️

yourusername 🖕🏻

druski2funnny Sorry I wanted to keep Shit funny. I don’t like how everything is right now.

yourusername You’re good 👍🏼

urbanandy/nupdates Im so sad about this. I wanted you two to be end game so bad

yourusername Shit happens

allabouturbanandy/n So y’all two really broke up? You took down all pictures of him and unfollowed him, but he still follows you and has all the pictures up.

yourusername Nothing on my part.

💕

Liked by druski2funnny, neelamthadhani, jackharlow, cozane, and 8,677,345 others

urbanwyatt treat her like a queen, her friends think I’m mean as fuck

View all 1,600 comments

allaboutyn The audacity 🥱

urbanwyatt I’m trying here

urbanandynupdates Try harder! You did her dirty with going with that chick

girlfromvideoname 😋😋

urbanwyatt Don’t start unnecessary shit

neelamthadhani You haven’t blocked this girl Urban?

girlfromvideoname Why are you being mean @ neelamthadhani you were the one who hooked me up with his number and address.

yourbestiename Wow

neelamthadhani That was before they started dating. I respected their relationship. Girl don’t bring me into this.

yourusername If one more person tries me, I’m about to fuck them up. I’m done being nice to y’all ungrateful asses.

girlfromvideoname 🤣 you’ve been saying that for the longest but you never pull up.

urbanwyatt Baby, @ yourusername please just let me talk to you in person.

girlfromvideoname 🥱 how are you still going to beg? Let her go she’s not all that anyway. Her music career is a flop, way out of your league.

yourusername Next time I run into you, it’s on sight. I’m getting tired of your shit talking. Urban, learn how to put a leash on your hoes.

girlfromvideoname I’ve been called worst, but how does it feel to know I’m his now?

urbanwyatt 🤦🏼‍♂️ Stop bullshitting. Enough is enough man @ girlfromvideoname

druski2funnny Nah Urb, i want to know, you fucked this girl? Cheated on y/n over gossip?

urbanwyatt No, I was pissed of when I first saw everything. Yes I might have thought about it but I didn’t do it. Not when I realized she wouldn’t do me dirty like that. I fucked up big time.

yourusername A little too late ✌🏼

urbanwyatt y/n I’m sorry

💕

Liked by jackharlow, yourbestiename, cozane, urbanwyatt, neelamthadhani, and 9,678,445 others

yourcousinname This was y/n after she beat the fuck out of @ girlfromvideoname 💀 unbothered, queen shit.

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druski2funnny Y/N really said ON SIGHT

cozane That was crazy to watch

yourbestiename 😂 Love to see it. Go best friend, that’s my fucking best friend.

neelamthadhani I need to know everything from the beginning, all I saw was y/n slamming her face against the table 😂

jackharlow We don’t condone violence…

jackharlow but damn

nemoachida Yo I was scared for miss girl. Y/n you rocked her 😱

yourusername 💅🏼

urbanandynupdates WAIT WHAT HAPPENED? Y/N FINALLY BEAT GIRLS ASS? HOW? WHAT FINALLY GOT TO THAT POINT??? TELL ME.

yourcousinname Homegirl pulled up to y/n album listening party, started saying some stuff, she went and sat next to Urban and kissed him. Y/n obviously wasn’t with it so she literally grabbed a fist of girls hair and slammed her whole face against the table, and she just started beating on girl 🤣💀

yourbestiename Are we forgetting the part where she confessed on taking that wanna be story to the shade room? How it was HER ALL ALONG creating this bullshit drama. She had it coming if you ask me, she’s just lucky it was only y/n beating her ass up, I should’ve gotten a few punches in for putting my name out with bullshit. Like how do I get dragged into this drama 🤦🏻‍♀️

druski2funnny Na the part where we all tried breaking them apart, y/n was just throwing punches at everyone who came near them.

yourusername I was cleaning house 😏

y/nupdates So you and Urb back together? Why was he there in the first place

yourusername We have the same friends, I had already send out invites before all the drama went down. I wasn’t going to uninvited him.

💕

Liked by jackharlow, neelamthadhani, yourbestiename, and 9,678,945 others

urbanwyatt I know I’m on her shit list and it’s going to take me a long time to make things better between us, and I promise you there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t regret how I acted. Just wanted to say how proud I am of you, and congratulations on your new album. I love you, always.

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druski2funnny Y/N had to beat up girl so you would stop acting a fool.

urbanwyatt 🤫 She had it coming no?

urbanandynupdates I’m still wondering if you really went and linked up with your side chick

urbanwyatt I did, but it didn’t get into anything.

yourusername 🤨

druski2funnny Let the people know Urb, it’s your time.

urbanwyatt No, I want to talk to her in person not through social media.

cozane Bro she has your number blocked and she hasn’t spoken to you since she beat the shit out of @ girlfromvideoname. Just talk here i guess, mainly because I want to know all the details 💀

yourusername Peor que las mujeres con los chismes 😞 but he’s right, so talk because I’m not doing this in person anytime soon.

urbanwyatt Mami 🥺

yourusername No enough of that shit, you called me out on my name, you doubted me. You know she had an agenda, the fact that you found out it was her who went to the media with that bullshit article and was sending you photoshopped pictures and you believed her, that shit broke me.

yourusername We were solid, we were finally on the right path. For someone who dislikes it when any man gets near me, and vise versa, you really believed I would do you dirty like that? After everything we’ve been through? The no relationship between us, all the sharing and just everything, you think I would fuck up something I wanted from the start? You hurt me.

urbanwyatt I don’t have any excuses, I can’t make up lies. All I can say is that I acted out out of rage and I know it doesn’t make things right.

neelamthadhani I just need everything to go back to normal with all of you

druski2funnny Honestly. I miss the four of you.

allabouttheharlows Four? Wait what does Jack and y/bestie/n say about this drama.

urbanwyatt They decided to stay out of it.

urbanwyatt Y/N can we meet up to talk in private? I’m tired of this back and forth on social media.

yourusername Our spot, ten minutes.

💕

🤭 So what do we think?

Let me translate what “maluma said”

1 - I must be one bad ass if I was able to pull them both.

2 - Y/N if your boyfriend doesn’t believe you, let’s make it real then.

3- that's what your girlfriend is for

4- My love it’s only a joke, white boy doesn’t understand that y/n has only eyes for him and no one else.

#instagram au #urban wyatt x reader #urban wyatt fic #urban wyatt x y/n #urban wyatt

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emilietheharpy · 1 year

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22, 44, 66?

Okay here love your answer !

22-did I had problem with the law ?

Never but it's practically happen don't do that never but we are four friends and in my place some church are too old creepy and abandoned,one of my friend succed force the door to go in I refuse at first time but they finally drag me in this shit 🤦🏻‍♀️ some cops go in the church and never find us when we go out and take care some cops see us near and ask to us to go somewhere because little idiots go in the church and we know it was us ,I swear I never do a stupid thing like that again never !

44-did I had a strong accent

-to be totally honest I don't know you know my maternal language is french ! The French in France had they're accent but here in Quebec we had a different accent and it's change place to place I'm from Saguenay lac saint jean and my friend from Montreal and we had a different accent and different expression we don't stop said to the other that we love their accent,and when I talk in English still don't know if I had a strong accent sorry darling

66-prefer long or short hair

For me I prefer long hair darling when I was younger they are so long they are near my butt 🥰 but it's depend for the other I mean I prefer some people with long hair or short hair and it's the same for men some are more beautiful with long hair and other with short I don't really had an opinion on it it's totally depend

Ps:why this picture of our baby boys ? Because we probably totally look like this when we decide do to stupid things 🤦🏻‍♀️

#loveley asks

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bbyquokka · 1 year

Text

im actually an idiot

electric callboy came out with a m video for mindreader about a week ago. i forgot about it until yesterday.

listened to it and wondered why it wasn't on Spotify because THAT SHIT SLAPS. (electric callboy made sick af music anyways. would like to thank blind channel for getting me into them. ty my Finnish men 🖤)

turns out; it's on their recent album. i– 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

#i question myself sometimes #lmao #. . ⇢ [nemu.txt] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 📝 ꒱

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akane171 · 2 years

Text

...Eh no, how'd you come up with THAT drama?😂 We're only fighting over the custody of the pups, without the whole rest😂

True true 🤔 And he had one specific reason for existing from the very beginning, so that probably helped, too🤔

HAHAHAA yess he kinda did, now that you pointed it out like that😅🙈 And meh, yeah, sadly, but at least the Winchesters acknowledge it repeatedly🤔

Yeah, it's been a while so I'm not exactly 100% in the details either but Shippuuden did add the others kinda befriending Naruto before (and ACTUALLY befriending, not just see each other and kinda relate from a distance) and more healthily, but oh well, the shared understanding of loneliness must have trumped everything🤔😅🤷🏻‍♀️

It's actually amazing how many things used to be perfectly fine a long time ago until some humans decided to screw it up and make it SUPPOSEDLY weird🙄🙄😩 Just think of women's role in the viking age or dresses and skirts originally being made and worn by men (same with high heels)🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

..."Entertaining"...🤦🏻‍♀️😩 Now I'm starting to worry about YOU😅😂🙈

Nooooooo😭😭😭😭😭 Oh god, poor Damnit, poor Kara and poor freaking Mon😭 Why make them suffer so???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙈🙈🙈🙈

Life is indeed brutal, but dogs should and need to be protected!😭😌😭🙈

Thank you😭🙈 (that "probably" still worries me tho)

Oh, Huh, Dunno, I think I've only ever seen two or so films with him and don't even remember which?😅🤷🏻‍♀️ He's pretty funny in interviews and lipsync battles😂

Yeah, I actually really like the theory, cause there does seem to be a lot of evidence hinting at it 🤔😁 Ohhh, the Loki show was good but he's DEFINITELY another tragic dork🙈🙈😭

Loool, True, that might have been how Sasuke could have ended up🤔 Tho there were actually filler episodes in the Tsukiyomi no Mi where all the Uchihas weren't killed and Minato, Kushina, etc were still alive, too, and Sasuke kinda went off the deep-end there, too, but I don't particularly remember why he was like that there, too, might have been another Uchiha conspiracy tho🤔😅🙈

Ohhh, a party with Mon and Thor would be HILARIOUS!😂😂 (I think a What-If episode even had FratboyOfTheUniverse!Thor 🤔)

Ohh, btw, Spidey might be a pretty good fit for Mon, too 🤔 Happy-go-lucky, sarcastic and learning the whole "with great power comes great responsiblity" lesson🤔😂

Ohhh😍 Nice, Derek is finally backk💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻😍 Hmm, good question about the mother tho...Most are still assuming it must be Braeden form what I've seen online, but dunno🤷🏻‍♀️ (Tbh, I wasn't really too much of a fan of that, but that might just have been because she wasn't really around long enough for them to develop naturally and her to become more relatable😅🙈🙈)

😂😂 True true, my condolensces anyway😅🙈

Haha, yeah, like, the moment my mood changes my music choice will, too 😂 I gets annoying for others when I'm in charge of music cause I'll usually get bored or find a better one before the first is even finished😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️

Yeah, it really DOES say a lot about oneself🤔😂🙈

Ohhh, another song I seem to have a weakness for is the Macarena😂😂 It just makes me laugh like an idiot and most recently "Give that Wolf a Banana" too😂😂🤔 Apart from that...Uhh, "Chop Suey" by System of A Down tends to not be skipped by me either🤔 "Falling inside the Black" and "Not gonna die" by Skellet, "Thnks fr th mmrs" by Fall Out Boy, "Earth" by Sleeping At Last and "Same Old War" by Our Last Night? 🤔🤔 Ohhh, and "Carnival of Rust" by Poets of the Fall 🤔

Do you have favourites?🤔😁

Ohw no😰🙈 And yess, I already did😂 (I happened to see your reply before hers so I might have already screamed/panicked at her about what happened to her wrist😅😂🙈🙈)

Anyway, as always stay safe, stay happy and have a great Sunday!💃🏻

XXXX

Mhm. Sure.

Yep. Poor dude. RIP

Yeah, Winchesters were... fucked up xD But sometimes I think some of their fans are more xDDDD

Ooooh, ok, that one. When he was playing with the kids but in the end they all returned home with their parents and he was left alone, and when he was returning he was seeing Sasuke near the lake. Got it.

On the other hand... imagine a village where people just leave the orphaned kids alone like Naruto and Sasuke .... like... wtf...

I mean, look at the most homophobic organization aka Catholic Church (I just want to say I am Catholic xD). Dresses? Pink? Laces??? TADAH!

^It always makes me laugh xD

Worry about me? AWWWWWW

Well, that's life? There are no always HEA xD

But ok, ok, she broke up with her fiance and asked the agent to contact the owner to meet. He comes, they meet in the house, they talk, they kiss, have a steamy sex near the fireplace and then go for a walk with the doggo. Happy?

Time will tell? xD Fingers crossed for the theory. Maybe it will be reveal one day? In s2 maybe?

I say no to fillers xD there was a movie in AU too I think? Where Saukra was the hero, Naruto still had his parents and Sasuke had his parents and was a womanizer xD God, i hate fillers in any way xD

Mon and Thor bromance! Give it now!

i mean, Ididn't love it, it was not otp, but made sense and it was something a lot of other TW couples didn't have (Scott Malia? wtf? and don't make me moan about s*ydia) *rolls eyes*

Thanks... I guess.

Lol, so you are the Dean, you choose the music, end of story xD

The banana song was the best thing after the Ukrainian song xD Aww, Chop Suey. It seems a lot ot people who like Linkin Park like Skillet too? Never heard of sleeping at last, seems niceeeeee. The same goes for same old war :D

Well, Akatsuki no kuruma by FictionJunction YUUKA, Scissors Paper Rock by Indica, Helvegen by Wardruna, Heartless Madness by Dynazty, Strenght of a thousand men by Two Steps from Hell, The Crying Shore by Bare Infinity, Vataha by Dzivia, Sehnsucht by Rammstein, Astral Romance (2001) by Nightwish, In Vaun by WT, Dream Thieves by Sonata Arctica, Virtue and Vice by Delain, Blood on my hands by Xandria, Storm the sorrow by Epica, Helvetios by Eluveitie, Krigsgaldr by Heilung, Touch in the night by Battle Beast and yep, a lot of more. But as you said, it depends on the mood.

Thank youuuu. I feel we need to harass her more about her WELL BEING =='

Have a nice day too!

#ReFail #my fam

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bambinabina · 2 years

Text

you know anthony and colin are siblings when they both make a fool out of themselves at a party by badmouthing women with other Bros while their future wives secretly listen

#men are idiots 🤦🏻‍♀️#of course Anthony starts it off in the 1st episode and Colin finishes it on the last #the parallelism #anthony bridgerton #colin bridgerton #kate sharma #kate sheffield #penelope featherington #bridgerton #love #eloise bridgerton #edwina sharma #edwina sheffield #betrayal #angst #drama #similarities

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georgiapeach30513 · 2 years

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Could we see a little girls night out/boys babysitting night? One of my favourite drabbles to re-read is when Ran and Steve are watching the kids and they overhear him saying he fucks his wife🤦🏻‍♀️😂 surely that’s not the only time Ransom put his foot in it, is it? -🦋

Haha!! These men, there's so many of them, but also so many little girls! And who else do you think is going to join them? So Ransom is trying to keep Iris and James, and then Aster and Carter apart. But then you have Emy and Story who have BIG personalities. Sammy and Blade, AJ and Cas, and then Kira.

🖤🖤🖤🖤

I Wanna Dance With Somebody

Summary: Girls night out

Pairings: The men x the kids

Rating: cute

Warnings: none 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 1.2K

Desperate Lives AU Masterlist

Ransom & Steve Masterlist

“No, no. Like this,” Emy leans her head forward furrowing her brow at Sam.

“Samuel, that is not how you pour tea for the princesses,” Story reminds him, and he tries again. Both girls nod their head at him, but he gets a tap on his leg from Emy when he holds his tea cup wrong.

“Pinky up,” as soon as his pinky goes up she quits her tapping. “Have you found a keeper of the keys?”

Story’s eyes look over at Sam, as she bats them quickly. “Have I?”

“What does that even mean?” she pulls out a ring of old looking keys and puts in in his lap. “That didn’t tell me anything.”

“You hold onto the keys to the kingdom,” he slowly blinks his eyes looking back and forth between the two girls. “This,” Story’s arms go up looking around the estate, “Is the kingdom.”

“Does your dad know you have these keys?” Story shakes her head no.

“Samuel! Will you be the keeper of the keys?” Emy shouts at him.

“Will you two leave me alone if I say yes?” with a hard single nod from both, he sighs, “Fine, I’ll be the keeper of the keys. But I’m gonna have to tell your dad that you have these.”

“You can’t. That’s part of the rules.”

________________________________________________________________

“I promise you, if you take one step closer...” Jake’s eyes go between Kira, AJ, and Cas, “You’ll leave me no choice!” he holds up his Nerf gun, cocking it and Blade takes another step forward, “That’s it!” he lurches forward and starts running after Blade. Sammy and Kira split ways, and Jake just fires randomly to anyone that he can hit. Jumping to shoot in AJ and Cas’ direction, and they start firing back.

Jake spins around, firing out Nerf bullets, and missing the majority of the time. Bucky leans his head from around the tree trunk, and then turns back to Blade and Sammy. “Okay, the idiot is going wild right now. I’m sure he’s about to lose some stamina.”

Blade peeks around the tree as well, watching his ‘uncle’, “You’re right. He’s doing that weird breathing. So I think Bucky should go that way, and Sammy and I should go this way.”

“You’re leaving me to fend for myself?”

“You’re bigger than us Bucky!” Sammy shouts, and Jake turns in their direction quickly.

“We don’t have a choice now. It’s every man for himself! Run!!” Bucky runs out behind the tree shooting bullet after bullet at Jake who gets shot every time. His body pretends to take every one before he falls flat on his back.

“You killed me Buck! All of you guys were...you were after me. We said no teams,” his head flops to the ground, but he’s dramatic, so his death is slow. He’s not finished, “How dare you. Kids after Bucky now!”

________________________________________________________________

Ransom leaves Aster and Carter outside talking, while he roams the estate in search of Iris and James. “I’m going to kill them,” he grunts. Opening up every single door he can find. At the end of the hall he sees Iris jump out of a guest room.

“Hey Daddy.”

“Don’t hey daddy me, where is...?” James slowly steps out. “I hate girls night out! Get out there with everyone else or go have a tea party with Sam!”

“Where’s dad?”

“He went to go get pizza. Now, get out! I hate having teenagers and I hate girls night out. Do you two act like this with your mothers?” Iris shrugs but James nods his head. Looking at Iris he starts shaking his head no. “Go get shot by a Nerf gun.”

________________________________________________________________

The men sit in the lawn chairs while they watch the older kids chase the younger ones. Not paying any mind on who is missing, “This is the way it should be,” Sam takes a long drink of the beer. “So where was the horny teenagers?”

Ransom scoffs, his eyes still burning holes into James Carter Rogers. “Quit doing that,” Steve hits him on the shoulder. “We have had to watch you and Kitten making out, at least they had the decency to go into another room. I have literally seen you pull her shirt out to look at her titties.”

“My titties,” Steve rolls his eyes looking back at the kids. “I just don’t want to think about your son copping a feel and playing tonsil hockey with my daughter.”

“What’s that?” Story walks up behind her dad with a box of popsicles, and Ransom just raises his eyebrows at her. “Copping a feel and tonsil hockey. It sounds fun.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Well can I try it?” Ransom shakes his head causing her to giggle. “Daddy! I wanna play tonsil hockey,” she stomps her foot but he still shakes his head no. “Can I play tonsil hockey with you?”

“Absolutely not.”

“What about with Bucky?” Bucky snorts throwing his head back, but Ransom still shakes his head. “What about with Carter?”

“Hell no!”

“So I can’t jump on the bed and I can’t play tonsil hockey?”

“No, you can’t do any of it.”

She hands him a cherry popsicle, going around to give each of the other men one, before turning back to him, “I’m gonna ask mom if I can play tonsil hockey with Carter.”

“Story Rose Drysdale! You come back here! Don’t you ask that...she’s going to ask Carter what it is,” Story pulls Carter down to whisper in his ear, and he stands back up, eyes wide looking at Ransom. “Does anybody want a daughter?”

Sam starts cackling, “You should have just told her it was...”

“Mr. Drysdale?” Carter asks with a jog walking over to them, “Um, Story she asked...well, you see, um...”

“Carter,” Steve responds laughing, “we know. I’m gonna put you out of your misery.”

“I didn’t tell her,” Steve flicks his hand for Carter to run off before squinting at Ransom.

“You could have put the poor boy out of his misery.”

“There’s too many damn kids here,” Sam sits up, his eyes had been randomly taking count of all of them, before he just stops. “You got some running over here, and then some over here. Ain’t none of these mine. And don’t you say it,” he looks at Bucky shaking his head, “This isn’t even all of ‘em. Ya’ll are fertile. Especially you,” he points at Ransom who only shrugs. “Is four enough?”

“Nope.”

________________________________________________________________

“Don’t go breaking my heart,” Bucky does a quick little shimmy staring down at the two girls who refuse to give up the mic.

“I couldn’t if I tried,” Emy and Story sing up at him. Both giving Bucky the biggest heart eyes.

“Oh honey, if I get restless.”

“Baby you’re not that kind,” the three continue to sing through the whole song. Bucky even grabbing a hand to twirl them around under his arm, while never missing a beat.

Sam grabs Aster’s hand and starts dancing with her. Kira already moving around with Blade, Jake, AJ, Cas, and Sammy. Steve looks over to Ransom, “I’m not dancing with you.”

“Everybody else has a partner.”

“Carter doesn’t,” Ransom points over to him. Carter may not have a partner but he sings every word with them, until Bucky gets him to move up there with them, handing him the microphone while they both sing into it.

“Everyone is dancing but you,” Steve moves his shoulders around with a big smile getting closer.

“Stop. Please...quit it.”

“I think your daughter has a new crush,” Ransom looks up at Story who has Bucky squatting down with her singing in sync with him. Her round eyes shining up at him.

“My daughter needs to quit liking older men.”

“He’s really old. Acts like he’s a hundred and six sometimes.”

“I hate you.”

“You said Kitten was ovulating. Maybe you can make a baby,” Ransom turns and looks at Steve harshly. “What, trying to lighten the mood. Ooh, they’re starting I Wanna Dance with Somebody, I’m joining in before Jake gets a chance to sing Don’t Stop Believing, you grumpy thing!”

Masterlist

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